#i really wish they would just email

[casual-eumetazoa]

today in adventures of being incredibly exhausted 24/7: eating is hard. I have no appetite and making food, even stuff like instant oatmeal or ramen or whatever, is too many spoons. I have a doctor's appointment at 5 so i have four and something hours to eat, preferably twice, practice my goddamned presentation again, and get ready to leave. ugh

[xxplastic-cubexx]

waiting for marvel to take you up as their comic artist so that we can have amazing art with cherik official storyline

marvel hire me to draw professor x and magneto making out sloppy style for forty issues straight you will get a BAJILLION dollars i promise

[abernathyvalois]

the craziest part about being queer and closeted is that you don’t even know how exhausting it is until it hits in the most random situations

[evienyx]

Sometimes I’m hit by the devastating fact that my childhood is leaving. It’s slipping away but I’ve still got half a foot in it. I’ll never be twelve again. I can barely remember a moment of fourth grade, but I know what it felt like. We once spent a month making a trip poster on the hallway floor. I haven’t talked to you in four years. I tutor people in Calculus. I just learned long division. I buy plushies with money I earned at work. I still sleep with the same stuffed animal my grandma got me. Maybe when I wake up, my mom will be waiting to braid my hair, because I don’t know how to yet. My dog will be small enough to fit under the fence. We’ll play tag at recess. They’ll bring the laptop cart for English. I’ll be twelve again.

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

contemplating whether i should make a separate tag for when im agonizing in the fucking program trying to make these little computer bitches sing/say dumb shit (aka vsynth shenanigans)

pros:

organization! (<- she says, as this place is a fucking mess)

????

cons:

nobody give a fuck

regardless of point 1, you bet she would be annoying as fuck about it. dear diary. today i made fukase read a reddit post. i think he hates my ass at this point bc i never fucking use him for anything serious and everytime i do i always take it down.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

The eternal tension between genuinely wanting to watch/read good horror media and wanting to sleep for the next week.

[saltinesinsoup]

aughhh the hell of like. being sick but feeling decent like i could go to class. and the knowledge that like. probably shouldnt. and also my class is in half an hour and i havent had lunch

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Gonna have to bust out the comm sheet soon bc work is not scheduling me and. frankly. I simply do not want to be there as of late

[rubberduckyrye]

Man. That Feel When I want to be feral and reveal a bad experience I've had and reveal the person who took my money and kind of ran with it but. Is it worth starting drama over?

I was just thinking about it tbh...

Well I'll say this much: A rather popular DR person (at the time, idk what they're fully up to now) pretty much took over $100.00 from me and ghosted me. I tried to commission them for something but. Well. Again, they just ghosted me. Haven't been able to enjoy their work since they did.

And to note: It was not an artist or fanfic author. I'm not elaborating on this further, but I don't want to feel like I HAVE to keep silent in order to feel like I'm not mud-slinging or people to speculate on innocent people. This is a years-old event that just crops up once in a while and I get upset about it.

So yeah. Bleck.

[guinevereslancelot]

i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔

[dandyshucks]

i was going to email my accordion teacher i had a few yrs ago to ask for advice on fixing my accordion but then remembered she is quite old so ... i went and looked her up just to make sure there were no obituaries or smth for her and uhm. instead i found out her brother is like. super famous. bro that guy taught me some piano stuff and i played music with him holy shit help ??? i sat on the same piano bench with him while he showed me some piano stuff oh my god. i think he also maybe taught me a bit of accordion bc he plays like a million instruments. he's won multiple awards and has travelled worldwide to perform ???? HELLO ???

and now im too scared and intimidated to email her hdsgjskdgjkl

[autisticlee]

If things for non-verbal communication helps you I'd say go for it. Others saying you're not suffering enough to make things easier for you aren't living your life. Do what helps you.

even if I did, the world around me isn't very accommodating. I know all people in my life wouldn't be accepting of it. I don't go out much or have many friends. don't talk where I volunteer but I told them on the form I signed up on that I wouldn't talk and they're surprisingly accepting of it. don't talk at work, but work with my mom so she talks for me basically. the times I would need it would be very hard to use. not sure if I could do it with phone calls or video calls. am known to not call back for important things because dont answer my phone and will try to email them instead and no one wants to answer emails. will beg them not to call in message. they leave voice mail saying they got my message so call them back..... have video calls with my therapist and don't know how i'd use it for that. could help for in person doctor appointments but doctors are so impatient and want me in and out fast, don't know if it would improve much. I already never get to say all I need and non verbal communications is slow. don't know how twitch chat would react, so might be the only viable option...people that know me might be weirded out but whatever. new people might make fun of a robot voice but whatever x2 if I make it part of my "thing" they can deal with it especially if I cam finish making a vtuber and make that their "voice" maybe.... would be hard when playing games having to stop to type and won't say things enough so kinda same problem.....hmmm. could maybe at least work for art streams? ��

[medicinemane]

You know, it bothers me the way it seems like people have totally forgot about Iranians... thought we were all on the same page, wasn't it... women, life, freedom? (I legit don't remember, but the reason for that is it wasn't my slogan to say. Maybe it sounds strange, but that's how I felt, so I never actually wrote it, which makes it harder to remember)

Just feels like for a brief window there we were all talking big talk about supporting them, but then it all kinda dried up

I'll be totally transparent about one of the reasons this keeps coming up for me, russia is a major ally of Iran, Iran supplies the kamikaze drones russia hits civilians with... you know they're not giving them away for free... I worry what the Iranian government uses anything it gets to do... I don't really hear anything from Iranians anymore (though once again I fully admit that most of what I was hearing was second hand, I never had found an Iranian to directly follow... I don't know if anyone's still talking)

I just... I legit worry that people talk a big game about Gaza right now, but will they in a year?

I'm frustrated because a lot of the support people and causes around the world get seems like it's almost more self masturbatory than anything real... sure, everyone really well and truly means it, but then they get bored and it's on to a new cause

So I worry the support will be fleeting... and I see some people really getting down in the mud in ways... well, I'm not a people keeper, I don't get to tell people what to do, but I wouldn't be very pleased if I was acting the way I see some people act and my real point is I worry they're doing all this shit and they're not even gonna stick it out with the cause... seen people get bored and dip to many times to trust it

I'm not perfect... I have a shit memory a lot of the time, and I got a lot on my mind, but I still remember Hong Kong... at least sometimes... even looked into it from time to time and the news never looks good

I remember the Uyghurs, though my shit spelling always makes me look it back up. I think about Syria and how forgotten they are. I do actually still keep up with Ukraine... and then I see connections between russia and Iran and assad and...

I don't know... this stuff eats a me a little... not a lot, not more than the helplessness we all feel about bad things beyond our control usually does... I just worry about people, how they act with shit

Worry that you roll around in the mud too long it starts getting hard to wash off, and I worry that people sometimes get in the mud less cause they're trying to help anything and more cause sometimes it feels good to have an excuse to get dirty... righteous anger that makes any behavior permissible

I don't talk about current events that are on everyone's radar nonstop cause I don't want to burn support out by just overloading people with horror... but I generally find murdering innocent people to be a bad thing, so yeah... I want to see a fucking ceasefire already

Don't talk about it, but I actually do care quite a bit... and I worry... I worry that it'll be forgotten the second the news cycle moves on like everything else is

Worry that every bit of vile behavior I've seen that was for high minded goals will turn out to be dropped in an instant...

Almost like that's not a bug, that's just the point

[cerbreus]

had a trainwreck of an in person consult for my sleeve tattoo yesterday only made better by the itty bitty yorkie shop dog adoring me and sitting on my lap the whole time.

[pinkspiraling]

i don’t even want to drink. i don’t even want to, i want to be sober so bad but why is it so hard and so fucking terrifying. at some point this isn’t fun tho it’s just painful and fucks up my brain all the time i’m tired of not remembering shit and of being sick all the time and being so out of it that i don’t remember to do a single fucking task and i’m tired of being depressed and i’m tired of being lonely and i’m tired of never leaving my bed and i’m tired of sleeping next to rotten food and not showering and not drinking water and not functioning and hating myself so much for everything i say and do. im just so tired of all of it i just want to be alright. why is it so hard to stop being this way