#Then they got back to me feeling guilty and offered a full refund AND to finish the commission I ordered

[rubberduckyrye]

Man. That Feel When I want to be feral and reveal a bad experience I've had and reveal the person who took my money and kind of ran with it but. Is it worth starting drama over?

I was just thinking about it tbh...

Well I'll say this much: A rather popular DR person (at the time, idk what they're fully up to now) pretty much took over $100.00 from me and ghosted me. I tried to commission them for something but. Well. Again, they just ghosted me. Haven't been able to enjoy their work since they did.

And to note: It was not an artist or fanfic author. I'm not elaborating on this further, but I don't want to feel like I HAVE to keep silent in order to feel like I'm not mud-slinging or people to speculate on innocent people. This is a years-old event that just crops up once in a while and I get upset about it.

So yeah. Bleck.

[roccinan]

I'm risking sounding terribly egoistical by sending a public ask about my own url here but I'm doing it!!!!! I need the super graphic-details

Your ego is my ego, dearest nharidy. There's a reason the doc is named after you hahaha

[ 👉 My Wips ]

OK so the Absolvisti sequel's been sitting in my head since well, the week after I published it lmao. But I never got around to writing because I wasn't sure if it was being too self-indulgent (I'm feeling more confident about it now that I know you'll be pleased by it!). Also because I was having trouble deciding on a pov: should I continue with the Tatiana 1st person pov as always? Change it up to Martin 3rd person? or surprise: 1st person Don Juan?? Should it be a new chapter or new fic? (def. open to suggestions here!) Also I think it'd be Iconic to publish a story in the Dies Irae universe with our new cat profile pics.

Graphic detail time :D Prepare for a SUPER LONG answer LMAO. Most of the things I mentioned here and here will make their way in, with maybe a bonus ns/fw chapter from Martin or Andres' pov. The main story is SFW however, and there's like a hilariously high amount of hurt!Andres, who doesn't have demons to rely on anymore but still carries all the permanent damage the demons left on him:

It takes place some months after Absolvisti so Andres is doing better, but not fully well yet. He's not actively dying anymore but he does faint a lot and isn't exactly making a full recovery. Because I wanted to make things harder for Martin. Because he's not a young man anymore, the wounds were super extensive, and this is the result of years of accumulated damage + a form of "withdrawal" (the shadows/demons that used to feed on him were also the things that kept him alive so it's one big cycle that his body isn't leaving that easily).

This means every time Martin plans something nice for him like seeing a play or going out for a nightly walk, Andres can't go through the whole thing without feeling unwell. (Martin: "I over-exerted the love of my life. I am so SELFISH. what does Andres see in me??" Andres: "I disappointed the love of my life. I am the WEAKEST. what does Martin see in me??" Tatiana: feed me, bitches)

They manage to sit through one play though (not sure if I want this at the beginning or end of the fic LMAO). It's the one Bogota wrote, The Necromancer's Lament, a "biopic" about Andres' life. And it's every bit as terrible as Martin expected. Bad special effects, bad acting especially from Martin's actor, Andres' actor has a beard, and Tatiana looks like this:

Andres thinks it's the best play ever. Martin hates it and demands a refund. Tatiana hates it too but Don Juan's like, "mi amor, you are still beautiful to me, even as a deformed puppet."

Martin's 120-page complaints aside, Bogota runs the theatre troupe with his partner, Nairobi/Agata, and they're both going to start teaching performing arts at Santa Catalina because the last drama professor died lmao

Meanwhile, Santa Catalina has a new bad girl student, Tokyo/Silene! Sergio took her in as a charity case after some dark and mysterious events in her life. But Tokyo being Tokyo can't stay away from trouble, and she becomes obsessed with finding the demons that Andres expelled. Some bizarre possessions start happening again and the school's sponsors force Raquel to keep it under wraps. (Raquel: maybe if you increased funding, we wouldn't have so many problems!!)

In the meantime, Martin gets that letter from a long lost relative asking to meet him. Not sure about the order of this either. Anyway, Martin was planning to ignore the relative, but Andres insists he go. Either Tatiana or Don Juan accompany him. Martin learns that he's the sole heir of his dead parents across the sea (the will: “we forgive you for being a heretic, a freak of nature, and the alchemist of Palermo. also no hard feelings for leaving you to die as a baby xoxoxo”). There's one (1) condition though: he has to end his partnership with the necromancer. Martin: NO THANKS.

So while Martin's dealing with this unexpected drama, Sergio decides to call in Andres' expertise TM again because it's also a good excuse to talk to his brother. Martin is Very wary about this and rejects him. But Andres insists that it'll be fine. Plus, maybe he wants to turn a new leaf and help Santa Catalina for nothing in return this time. Not everyone gets a second chance at life and he doesn't want to be a bad person anymore uwu (Tatiana: "Andres was a pretentious piece of shit, surprising no one." Martin: "Nobody deserves Andres, not even me, and I'm like, the most amazing person in the world.")

Andres comes to do the exorcism with the random priest the school hired. And they discover there aren't any demons- it's just some ghost fucking around (maybe I'll make it the spirit of Gandia or Alicia since they haven't shown up yet lol). Anyway, it doesn't go very well but Andres gets rid of the creature or whatever. Not before it punctures a hole in his side though. Then Martin loses it, just full-on screams at Sergio for almost getting Andres killed again, makes a lot of threats against the school, etc. etc.

Raquel, being more useful, plugs up the wound. But the priest accidentally provokes Martin more by asking Raquel if he should mop up Andres' blood with holy water or something. What if the necromancer's blood is cursed?? And now it's all over the floor, so disgusting :/

Martin, already in a very bad mood, beats the priest up.

They go home. Martin's in a really sour mood and he just doesn't understand why Andres isn't mad at Sergio. Martin: "It's really emotionally damaging to me if you don't give a fuck about yourself." Andres makes him even angrier by bringing up the Berrote family will and having the audacity to suggest Martin leave him for money. He makes a huge case about how he literally has nothing to offer Martin except a body that barely works and a terrible reputation. Martin: "I lost a fucking eye for you??"

They fight and Martin storms away, and also kidnaps Don Juan, his honorary new soulmate who would never betray him like Andres.

A while after this, the Spanish Inquisition local clergy arrests Andres for "questioning." Because the shenanigans at Santa Catalina are still going on and that one priest suspects him of being behind everything just because. Raquel's the one who bails him out. She may not like Sergio's brother, but the way everyone else treats him is ridiculous.

Andres limps home, hoping Martin's still away. Surprise! Martin felt guilty and came back. And it's pretty obvious that Andres has just been tortured. Martin: "Say no more. I'm going to kill some people."

Andres gets Martin to not do anything stupid by dropping the thing with the will. He admits he was wrong for saying those things to Martin and he selfishly, genuinely wants to stay with Martin forever. Martin: "I'm still going to kill your brother. You may appease me with a kiss."

Does it end here? No! Because the shit at Santa Catalina is still happening. Andres and Martin solve it for good though. But it's all very dramatic. I'm vaguest about this part, but maybe Nairobi's injured saving Tokyo, and this gives Tokyo the wakeup call to move on from whatever baggage that got her into this mess in the first place. Then Andres' solution for saving Nairobi is to ask Martin to work that alchemist magic and transfer her wounds onto himself (at this point, we're just going overboard with the Andres whump but asdfasdf why stop??). Raquel: Sergio, tell your brother to stop dying. That's a bad example for the kids.

It takes a lot of convincing, but Martin relents in the end, only because he trusts Andres. At this point, Andres has been through so much that he physically cannot take any more damage. Like, he just can't lmao. So the whole process puts Andres into a coma or something. But we don't need him anymore because now we can revel in Martin's angst!

Martin spends the rest of his time crying and angsting and guilt-tripping Sergio, and just being very loud in general. He also writes back to his family and tells them to fuck off.

Once we indulge in enough of Martin's pain, Andres finally wakes up. Still very bad off but he's alive and not showing signs of dying any time soon. So that's good enough for Martin. They have a nice heart-to-heart, and idk, maybe Raquel comes to see them because Sergio's too embarrassed to. Until Andres insists, because he loves hermanito unconditionally uwu. Martin: "watch your back, Sergio. I might murder you in your sleep (:"

Then at the very end (I have no idea how long this story is LOL), there's some kind of family photoshoot between Raquel, Sergio, and Paula. Everyone's raving over this new invention called the "camera." Andres is admiring it from a distance until Raquel's like, "get over here. what part of FAMILY photoshoot do you not understand!?"

Andres is shocked pikachu face because good will towards him for once?? he's being included in something?? people want him around?? what is happening??

Martin's happy for him though. Then he's admiring from a distance until Raquel's like, "I said FAMILY photoshoot. Get over here, Martin!"

Tatiana didn't want to be a part of it, but Paula saw her favorite talking cat and like, grabbed her lmao. Don Juan photobombs it because he can't be excluded from an activity with Tatiana, especially when his former rival Andres is in the photo too. (His current rival is Casanova, an unworthy white cat vying for Tatiana's affections)

Sergio proposes to Raquel. The end! Yes, the kitty love triangle is also a central theme of this story LMAO Hope that satisfies you, nharidy! And I welcome any and all suggestions!

[oldadastra]

Letter to Lucasfilm

So, I’ve written a letter to Lucasfilm. It could be better, but this is what came out this afternoon. I hope others who are writing will share what they are putting into the mail. I was trying to be concise, but it still ran to several pages. Find it in its entirety below the cut:

***

Lucasfilm, Ltd. Attn: Fan Mail PO Box 29901 San Francisco, CA 94129-0901

December 30, 2019

Lucasfilm/Disney:

I am writing to express my anger, shock, disappointment and deep sadness with the final installment of the Star Wars saga, Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker.

I was ten in 1977 when the original film was released and have loved Star Wars ever since. I was thrilled by the reopening of the saga in The Force Awakens, and delighted by the excellent script, rich visual storytelling, nuanced character development, and thematic direction of Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi.

Disney took on a sacred trust when it acquired Lucasfilm. Star Wars is deeply important to many people, and if you couldn’t do justice to the characters and themes of the saga, I’d argue that you had no business being involved in these stories. There is so much Disney/Lucasfilm got wrong in Rise of Skywalker, I’m struggling to gather my thoughts or express them coherently, but here goes:

Ben Solo. You created the most compelling character in the new trilogy by destroying the happy ending of the original trilogy. I was willing to go along on the ride Abrams and Kasdan began in The Force Awakens, because the fate of Ben Solo felt like it mattered. The questions raised in the new films: the nature of good and evil, the degree to which one’s family legacy defines a person, whether a one can atone for past sins; all of it felt alive and urgent in the person of Ben, a character I loved like one of my own children from the moment we so traumatically met him in The Force Awakens. His story was the beating heart of the new trilogy. His story is the one that mattered. His life was the one to be saved.

Ben solo was never an exposition device, cool villain, or disposable baddie to me. He was Han and Leia’s only child; loved, targeted, broken, lost.

The Rise of Skywalker redeems Ben Solo in the final act of the film, only to destroy him. Was it always your plan to kill the last Skywalker in the final installment of this story, to render the overarching message of all nine films as tragedy? If so, I wish I’d known this was your intent; I would never have engaged with these stories and made an emotional investment in them. If tragedy was your goal, that was certainly your choice to make, but I’d argue that you owed it to the audience and the cast to do a better job of it.

For example: You give us evidence that Han and Leia’s child was targeted by evil old men from before his birth. It’s a disturbingly explicit allegory of grooming and child abuse.

You give Ben Solo a backstory which implies he is guilty of vile, Anakin-style crimes against other young people, coding him as a school shooter, and then chose to exonerate him of this crime in a comic book, where the general audience will never know he was innocent. It’s a form of character assassination.

You consigned Ben Solo to the darkness for almost the entirety of three films, then denied him his voice in the final acts of his own story. “Ow?” The only words the redeemed Ben Solo will ever speak. Apalling.

You brought back Palpatine for this film (arguably rendering the message of the first six films meaningless), identified the Emperor as Ben’s tormentor all along, then denied Ben the opportunity to fight his enemy in the final act of the film.  Rise of Skywalker literally throws Ben Solo into a pit, and forces him to climb out alone and unaided while Rey is whispered to by “all the jedi,” offering her words of encouragement. It’s grotesque.

I’m getting lost in rage and sadness again here, so let me just say that even if you inexplicably didn’t care about the last Skywalker in the Skywalker saga, you have done a grave disservice to Adam Driver in your treatment of his character in this these films.  Perhaps you’ve heard of Driver’s non-profit organization, Arts in the Armed Forces? He’s deeply committed to the importance of stories as a way to make meaning out of the inexpressible. Did he really sign on to this project thinking that the final message of his character would be to say that even if you are able to come back from the darkness, your final act must be to die? That imperfect children don’t deserve compassion, forgiveness, life? You owe Mr. Driver an apology, but you can never really atone for what you’ve done to him.  

You ended a nine-film, forty-two year saga with all the Skywalkers dead, and a Palpatine the last one standing. You spent three films tormenting Han and Leia’s child, only to kill him in the final act.  What you did to Ben Solo (and frankly to us, who loved him) feels more like a horror story than anything else. In my dreams, I walk right into your offices and flip over tables.

There’s a lot more I could accuse Rise of Skywalker of bungling, but I assume you are hearing this feedback from others besides me, so I will summarize:

Rey Palpatine. Was is all about the midiclorians after all? By making her Palpatine’s granddaughter, you deny Rey everything that made her special; you deny her agency, and you negate the beautiful message I thought you were trying to communicate in the first two films with Rey Nobody: that the force belongs to us all, and that anyone can be a hero

The erasure of Rose Tico. It’s difficult to interpret this as anything but a capitulation to a loud, racist, and misogynist element of the fandom. It’s a very bad look, Disney. Please pay attention to the message you are sending.

Character development in general and a truly horrible ending: Rey goes back into her child-like costume, Ben Solo spent much of the film forced back into his stupid mask. Ben disappears at the end with no one to mourn him. Rey ends the film alone in a desert wasteland.

Rise of Skywalker is the most bleak, hopeless, and depressing Star Wars film ever made. As days go by, it’s becoming clear that it was also poorly written and edited. These stories matter to us, and we pay close attention to them. Disrespect us at your peril.

I don’t expect anyone will ever read this missive, or care at all about what an old shepherd on a mountainside thought about the execution of your multi-billion dollar movies. This is a personal exercise in catharsis as much as anything.

But here are a few notes in a language you might understand. I made some quick calculations about how much money I’ve spent on Star Wars over the past four years, and I’m sharing that with you now.

Movie tickets:  I’m one of those people who sees movies I love more than once (I saw Empire Strikes Back eighty-one times in the theater!). I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi at least ten times each. I’m not counting the cost of tickets for my extended family, whom I brought along to a number of screenings, or tickets for birthday party guests we treated to these movies. My teenaged daughter came along for all the screenings I am including, so I calculate I spent about $360 on tickets. We also bought tickets to Rogue One and Solo, so it was actually more, but you get the idea.

Books, tie-ins, DVDs, merchandise: I invested in The Art of the Force Awakens and The Art of the Last Jedi books, as well as at least one SW Visual Dictionary. I bought DVDs of the films of course, and CDs of John Williams’ beautiful scores. I bought and read a number of books; Boodline and the Leia novel, The Force Awakens novelization and Junior novelization, Aftermath, and a couple others whose titles escape me. At least seven action figures. Toy light sabers for me and my daughter. Posters. T Shirts. I know I’m not remembering everything, but it adds up to an expenditure of at least $347 in books and other Star Wars merchandise.

Star Wars Celebration: I splurged on passes for my daughter and I to attend Star Wars Celebration in Chicago this past spring. It cost me about $400, and a last-minute family emergency meant we were unable to attend, but the tickets were non-refundable, so it was money I spent on Star Wars nonetheless.

Total: $1,107

A laughably small amount to you guys, I’m sure. Perhaps a contrast is useful:

Total amount I have spent (tickets for my daughter and I on opening night) on Rise of Skywalker: $22.

Total amount I plan to spend on Disney Lucasfilm merchandise in the future: $0

I invested quite a lot of my time in Star Wars over the past four years. I’ve written thousands of words in essays, appreciations and analyses (mostly on Tumblr), where I amassed a modest following of just over a thousand people. I’m sure I occasionally bored my friends and family by going on and on about Star Wars. This kind of ‘work’ has no dollar value of course. I will say that it was great fun while it lasted, though I feel foolish in retrospect, remembering all the times I came to your defense, arguing that the saga was in good hands, that you had a plan; that you were going to tell a good story.

Sadly, I don’t think you can fix the damage you’ve done to the Galaxy Far Far Away with The Rise of Skywalker. You made this film, made your choices, and put it out into the world. I have no control over where you go from here, but as a person who has loved Star Wars since I was a child, I beg you to take some time to reflect before making another Star Wars film.

You’ve broken so many hearts. Mine was one.

Andrea ____

...my full name and address, blah blah, I live in Vermont

[chim-chimchii]

Freelance Worker (Chanyeol)

Genre: Fluff 

Note: This is a sequel to Embarrassed. I was going to explain why Chanyeol was shaving outside while using her car window as a mirror but the story kind of got away from me. When writing this I kept getting ideas to continue this story so idk I might make this a small fanfic but we’ll see how it goes! I hope you guys like it though. Again, feedback is appreciated. 

. . . . . . . 

The coffee shop was bustling with people getting caffeine before work, couples sharing their mornings, and you waiting for Chanyeol. After the strange first meeting and promising to meet the next day for coffee, which didn't happen due to unforeseen circumstances, today was the day you would meet him. The anticipation was growing immensely. You were dying to know the reason why he was shaving outside while using your window as a mirror. He promised to tell you today.

Both hands grasped the cup of water offered to you by the owner of the shop. The plan was to meet at ten, and it was now fifteen minutes past. Checking your phone in hopes that he had texted, you were disappointed when there were no new notifications. You decided to wait a bit longer. To occupy your mind, you played with the condensation on the glass.  

10:30 came, and it was clear to you that Chanyeol wasn't showing up. Without thinking about it too much, you decided to cut your losses and leave because if you were to think about it, you would have stayed longer. Before you reached the door, the owner stopped you in her hand was your favorite drink. "Maybe he has a good reason as to why he didn't show up." She said as she handed you the cup with a sympathetic smile. You mumbled a small thank you before opening the door.

You hadn't even taken a full step outside when you collided with a body. The iced beverage soaked through your blouse, causing you to gasp. "Cold. . ."

The person grabbed your upper arms to steady you.

"Y/n? Oh, my God. I'm so sorry!"

You glanced up from your ruined shirt to meet Chanyeol's worried gaze. 

Grabbing at the material of your shirt, you tried to keep it from touching your skin. Chanyeol was still holding onto you as you tried to step away from him.

"It's fine." You answered with a sigh.

"No it's not, Come on." He finally let you go to lead you towards the parking lot.

"Where're we going?" He glanced at you with an apologetic smile.

"To get you some new clothes."

Chanyeol helped you into his car before getting in himself. The strong aroma of the coffee filled the interior.

Starting the engine and putting it into gear, Chanyeol sped out of the parking lot. 

"I'm sorry I was late and didn't text and spilled your coffee on you." He stole a glance at you.

Your eyes didn't leave the window in front of you. The disappointing feeling you had for Chanyeol was subsiding now that you were together, but you still didn't know what to say.

"Work ran late, and I left my phone there, but if I had turned back, I would have been even later." His knuckles were turning white due to his firm grip on the steering wheel. He was upset with himself.

"Does that mean you barely got off work? You haven't slept yet?"

Chanyeol shook his head. "I'm a freelancer. I work all day every day."

car turned into the parking garage of a shopping complex. Once the vehicle was in park, Chanyeol pulled his shirt over his head and handed it to you. He was left in just an undershirt. "We can both get some new clothes to wear." He said before covering his eyes for you to change.

"Don't worry about someone seeing. The windows are tinted."

You quickly stripped yourself of your blouse and pulled the material over your head. The smell of his cologne instantly filled your senses and brought a blush to your cheeks. He smelled so good.

"Ready." You mumbled.

Chanyeol uncovered his eyes and looked at you before quickly averting his gaze. He was beaming at the sight of you. . . . . All the stores in the mall were full of designer brands. Everything was expensive; you'd be lucky to find a shirt within your budget. The nerves started to kick in. "

Chanyeol, I could have just gone home to change." He shook his head and led you into a store.

He was rummaging through a rack and held up a blouse that was similar to the one you were wearing earlier. 

"It's my fault your clothes got ruined." He handed over the shirt along with a dress of the same color.

"Do you want to try these on?"

You hesitated with the clothes in your hands. With a sigh, Chanyeol pouted. 

"Please let me do this."

His expression was too cute to refuse. You decided to humor him by trying them on.

"I'm trying on some clothes next to you too." He called from the room beside you; you let out a quiet giggle.

Holding up the spring dress, you smiled adoringly at it. Yes, you could have gone to a department store and got one similar, but the fact that it was made by a famous designer made it special. You quickly changed into it and admired your reflection in the mirror. It hugged your curves and the color complimented your skin tone.

"Come out and show me."

Given it was only the first date, you were taken back by the matching outfits when Chanyeol came out. Chanyeol's ears burned bright red when he saw you. 

"I didn't mean for us to match." He ran a hand over his face and laughed. You couldn't help but chuckle. "You look beautiful, though."

He ticked his head to the side. "To hell with it. We're going to match today."

Shaking your head playfully at him, you turned to go back into the dressing room. . . . .

Chanyeol was waiting at the counter for you with his new clothes neatly folded. The clerk was ringing everything up; she smiled at you kindly upon seeing you approaching. 

Shyly, you put the dress on the counter and kept the shirt in your possession. "I'm going to go put this back."

Chanyeol grabbed the shirt before you could put it back. "I'm getting this too."

"Chanyeol. . ." You quietly called his name to refuse, but he ignored you.

"Could I interest you in getting the matching shoes for the dress?" The girl winked at you.

"That would be great." Chanyeol looked at you and motioned for you to tell the girl your shoe size. You watched the price increasing with every item she scanned.

"This is too much."

He bent down to your level and whispered in your ear.  "It's okay. This is nothing."  

"The total is 400,000 won."

Chanyeol casually handed over his shiny, black debit card without even batting an eye.

You felt like you couldn't breathe. The things you could do with 400,000 won. Would it be considered rude to ask what he meant when he said he was a "freelance worker"? 

“Are you ready to go? We can change, and I'll take you out for lunch." 

Though you felt guilty about him buying you expensive clothes, you agreed. You liked him, and even if he had money, it didn't matter to you.

"Lunch will be on me in exchange for the clothes."

You were met with his stern gaze. Challenging him, you quirked your eyebrow at him.

"I don't think so."

As quickly as you could, you snatched your shopping bag out of his hand. "Then, I'll just return these."

Chanyeol didn't move to stop you. Instead, he watched you with a smirk.

"What?" You asked.

He pointed the sign that was taped on the window of the store you just left—NO REFUNDS OR RETURNS. You let out an annoyed groan.

"So, what are you feeling for lunch?" He asked, taking hold of your shopping bag. 

You blew a strand of hair from your face in a defeated manner before taking your place next to him. 

"Let's decide together in the car." You answered.

[distanziner]

Getting my Job Offer Rescinded - A Class of 2020 Story

It was late April and it had been a month since COVID took over 2020 and (most of) humanity was put into lockdown. I was back home in Toronto after my short stint of an exchange in the UK and it was hard to believe that just a few weeks ago, I was sipping Earl Gray and dreaming about the Queen’s fluffy corgis. It was also hard to believe that in a couple weeks I was going to be graduating. Sure it’d be on Zoom and I’d be in my pyjamas receiving my diploma from the mailman, but congratulations were in order, I think.

Despite the pandemic raging outside, life felt pretty ordinary. I was sprawled on my bed, my laptop balancing precariously on my stomach as I checked my email for refunds for my cancelled trip to Poland. There was nothing. Figures. But there was something else – a bright and bold email from my employer asking for a call. I froze.

I was supposed to start my full-time marketing job in a month, but if COVID taught us anything it was that “supposed to” meant almost nothing. No matter how excited I was for this job, I knew millions were already laid off and it was possible that my number had finally come up. I glanced at the email again and a wave of dread washed over me. A small part of me desperately hoped that my employer was calling to reassure me that everything was okay - my job offer was still in place and guess what this whole call was actually just a prank and we’d laugh it off and I’d continue my day with my job offer intact. None of that happened. My job offer was rescinded and even though it was nobody’s fault, all I could feel was frustration. Years of schooling and painful recruiting all added up to a ten minute call where I had to pretend like the news didn’t bother me. Months of planning and excitement for the future just so I could pretend to my ex-employer that I was confident that I’d be fine. I told myself that I shouldn’t be upset. It was bound to happen, wasn’t it? People more experienced than me were getting laid off, why would I be any different? But I was still devastated. 

I knew compared to many others who lost their jobs, I was still lucky. I didn’t have bills to pay or 2.4 children and a dog to feed. I was grateful for my privilege. But it was hard to feel grateful. I didn’t think I’d cry over a job I never had, but I did.

For a while, I didn’t want to tell people. Even though none of it was my fault, I was still embarrassed. When I got the job, I told a lot of people how happy I was and the prospect of telling others that it was all gone made me ashamed. I was the only one out of all my friends without a job and there was a small piece of pride within me was terrified of being pitied. Eventually, it got to the point where keeping it a secret started to hurt. Friends would tell me how lucky I was to still have my job and I just couldn’t keep up the charade. So, I told them the truth. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but their response made me forget why I was even reluctant to tell them in the first place.

However. There was this voice whispering in my ear. A smooth, sinister voice that that compared to them, I still didn’t have a job. And I felt insecure. I was not the type to romanticize work, but once everyone had a job, I felt like I needed one too to feel complete. Every time someone talked about being busy at work, I yearned to feel busy too.  I didn’t want to be left behind. Not having a job made me feel like one of those kids left out in the playground because they weren’t wearing Aeropostale or didn’t have a cool phone with a sliding keyboard to text with.

It was frustrating. And it was lonely.  

I had no motivation to look for a new job. I was tired and apathetic - I didn’t feel like myself at all. I gave myself a hard time for that. I constantly thought about how motivated and busy I was back in University. I didn’t understand how I could go from constantly running around campus and waking up at 5am to study for a quiz, to never moving from the couch and using as few brain cells as humanly possible. I thought about everyone else waking up before noon to actually contribute to society and I felt guilty.

Fortunately, I wasn’t alone. After a lot of convincing from friends (like a lot - the shortness of this paragraph understates just how much convincing it took), I somehow gathered the nerve to make a change. I chugged coffee every morning, pumped out personalized cover letters like a machine, and showered the networks of the world with my LinkedIn requests. For the first time in a while, I felt a sense of optimism. Then I remembered how difficult the job hunt was. And boy, was it difficult. There were days when my hand physically could not write another cover letter. There were days when I couldn’t even be bothered to read the job description, so I’d just throw my resume in there regardless and tell myself I was being productive. If I were lucky, I’d get a generic rejection email. But for the most part, I was completely ghosted.

It was hard to stay optimistic. I would think about all the unemployed individuals with much more experience than me competing for the same entry-level jobs. I questioned if there was a point to any of this recruiting.  

After a long, long, long time. I had to accept that there were going to be hard days. Sometimes it was hard to be hopeful, but no matter how delusional I felt I was being, I had to believe that getting a job in this mid-pandemic economy was still possible. I had to keep trying. I tried. I failed. And I tried some more. I had writtten so many cover letters, and even most of them didn’t result in anything, I could feel myself improving. The cover letters I could write now were lightyears ahead of the ones I wrote at the beginning of the summer. There was progress. ---- To the Class of 2020, the world sure is challenging us isn’t it. A lot of things didn’t pan out the way we had hoped. And it’s going to sound cliche, but we can’t give up. If there is one takeaway from this, it’s that people are here to help. Friends, acquaintances, family members - It can be awkward to reach out sometimes, but the payoff makes it worth it. Just having someone look over your resume, offer career advice, or prep for interviews can make a huge difference. I used to hate asking people for help, and sometimes it’s still awkward, but I can confidently say that it’s helped me a lot. You’re not alone. We’re the Class of 2020 and we’ll get through this. Together.

[splendidlyimperfect]

Written for @fuckyeahgratsu Gratsu Bingo/Gratsu Week 2019; prompt: breathe

Also written for Nonbinary Month 2019 [Natsu + Trans]

-----

When Gray's girlfriend dumps him right before Christmas, he's stuck with a non-refundable, three-week holiday to Paris. Without another choice, he agrees to go with a stranger - a man who is remarkably charismatic, and a lot cuter than Gray is willing to admit. It's supposed to be platonic (Gray's straight, right?), but Paris isn't called the City of Love for nothing.

Chapter Summary:  Paris is beautiful, Natsu is flirty, and Gray's not sure exactly where he stands.

Chapters (3/?): 1 | 2 | 3 Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster Characters: Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster, Cana Alberona Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Holidays, Vacation, Christmas, Paris (City), Romantic Fluff, Mutual Pining, Holding Hands, First Kiss, Trans Character, Falling In Love, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Gray thinks he’s straight but he’s not, Natsu falls in love hard, Gray speaks French because reasons, Tumblr: FTLGBTales

-----

When Natsu wakes up the next morning, it takes him a few minutes to figure out where he is. Instead of the Christmas lights he has hung around his apartment, sunshine pours through a window that takes up half the opposite wall. The bed is three times larger than normal, and when Natsu tries to roll over, there’s an arm wrapped around his waist.

He looks down at the arm – dark brown skin and a leather bracelet around the wrist. Natsu frowns at it for a second before he remembers.

He’s in Paris with Gray.

It takes Natsu’s heart about 0.2 seconds to go from completely relaxed to something resembling a broken metronome. Gray’s pressed up against his back, one arm under the pillow and the other wrapped tightly around Natsu’s waist. His knee is tucked between Natsu’s legs, and he’s still fast asleep, breathing evenly.

Natsu holds as still as possible. If he moves, he’ll break the moment, and he wants to stay like this for as long as he can. The contentment that settles in his chest next to his pounding heart is unfamiliar and so very welcome. It’s been a long time since someone has held him like this.

Natsu lets out a soft, slow breath and relaxes back against Gray, hesitantly placing his hand over Gray’s on his stomach. Part of him feels guilty – Gray doesn’t know they’re cuddling, and Natsu’s not sure what he’d do if he did. Gray’s hard to read, and Natsu tends to hope for too much.

Natsu’s about to start overthinking everything when Gray makes the most adorable snuffling sound and nuzzles the back of Natsu’s neck, pulling him closer and letting out a contented sigh. A shiver runs through Natsu and he brushes his fingers over the back of Gray’s hand. Gray makes a happy sound, then yawns and mumbles something unintelligible as he starts to stir.

Continue reading on AO3

“Hey,” Natsu says gently, wondering if he should quickly extricate himself from Gray’s embrace before he wakes up for real. Gray grumbles something that sounds vaguely like morning, then yawns and presses his forehead to the back of Natsu’s shoulder.

Gray is clearly not a morning person.

Natsu’s just about to lift Gray’s arm off him when Gray mumbles, “time issit?”

“No idea,” Natsu says. “We’re in Paris, remember?”

“Paris?” Gray’s voice is suddenly a lot clearer, and suddenly the blissful morning moment is over. He pulls his arm away from Natsu and sits up, rubbing his face and looking around the room. When his gaze finally lands back on Natsu, his expression transforms from confused to mortified. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he says, pushing himself up off the bed and looking anywhere but at Natsu.

“It’s okay,” Natsu reassures him, sitting up and stretching. As comfortable as cuddling was, sleeping in his clothes has left him feeling grungy. “I think we both were pretty tired.”

“I didn’t mean to...” Gray starts again, but Natsu waves him off.

“You hungry?” he asks, changing the subject. Gray’s still looking at the floor, but he nods, crossing his arms over his chest. “Good, ‘cause I’m starving. Just lemme shower and we can go find somewhere to eat.”

Gray doesn’t say anything when Natsu grabs his clothes and heads into the bathroom, but as Natsu closes the door, he hears an embarrassed groan and a whisper of what the hell?

~

Gray spends the rest of the day feeling off-kilter. The embarrassed flush never seems to leave his cheeks, and every time he looks at Natsu, he feels like he’s falling.

It turns to be just past noon by the time they leave the hotel, so they eat lunch at a little café where a breakfast of croissants and espresso make Gray feel a bit more human. But when Natsu’s foot touches his under the table, Gray gets that feeling again like he can’t quite breathe.

“So,” Natsu says, brushing the last of the crumbs off his lap, “what’s the plan for today?”

The question catches Gray off guard. He did have things planned, for when the trip was with Suki – romantic stuff like the Pont des Arts and the Champs-Élysées. There’s a part of him that whispers, you could still do those things with Natsu.

“I…” Gray fiddles with the handle of his coffee cup. There’s so much going on in his mind right now that it’s hard to figure out what he wants to say. He can’t decide whether he wants to hold Natsu’s hand, or if they should go their separate ways for the day so Gray can figure out why the hell he suddenly feels like he’s fourteen with a crush on the pretty girl in homeroom. “We can do whatever,” he says eventually. “If you wanna—you don’t have to hang out with me if you don’t want to.”

Natsu kicks Gray’s shin gently under the table, and when Gray looks up, Natsu raises an eyebrow at him. “Do you really think I want to be alone in a place like this after yesterday?” he asks. Gray frowns, then realizes Natsu’s referring to his anxiety attack on the Métro.

“Oh,” he says. Natsu’s foot is still touching his shin. “Sorry, I didn’t…” He can’t make a complete sentence and he bites the inside of his cheek in frustration.  

The waitress appears next to their table and reaches out for their plates with a smile. “Avez-vous aimér?” she asks.

“Oui, c’était très bon,” Natsu says, handing her his empty plate. “We actually just got here yesterday,” he continues in French.

“Oh!” The woman smiles, looking between them. “Have you been to Le Marais?” Both of them shake their head and she gives them a conspiratorial smile that Gray doesn’t quite understand. “You should go. I think you will enjoy it.”

~

Le Marais turns out to be the gay district of Paris. Gray stares at the rainbow flag hanging in the window of the boutique store next to them, and the overwhelmed sensation in his chest returns full force. A couple walks past them – two young women, holding hands and laughing at each other – as Christmas music plays from the speakers near the storefront.

“Guess she was onto me,” Natsu says, nudging Gray’s shoulder. When Gray looks back at him, Natsu gestures to the rainbow pin on his bag and laughs. Gray can see something else in Natsu’s expression, but he’s not quite sure what it is. “You okay?” Natsu asks.

“Yeah,” Gray says, shaking his head and pulling his coat closer around him. It’s chilly, and tiny flakes of snow are beginning to drift down around them. Natsu’s cheeks are pink from the cold, and his eyes are bright with excitement.

“C’mon,” he says, grabbing Gray’s arm and pulling him down the street.

They spend the better part of the afternoon wandering in and out of stores that sell everything from designer jeans to antique lamps. Natsu’s enthusiasm is contagious, and by the time they stop for dinner, Gray’s feeling a lot less flustered.

The restaurant is a cozy placed called L’Aller Retour, and when the waiter offers up wine with their meal, they both raise their eyebrows at each other, then grin and shrug – why not?

After a couple of glasses, Gray’s feeling warm and bubbly and brave.

“… so the other tattoo artist ended up holding my hand ‘cause it hurt like a bitch,” Natsu says, tipping his wine glass toward Gray. He gestures vaguely to his hip and Gray feels himself blush.

“That’s… it’s a sensitive spot,” he says, cheeks tingling as his mind slips to an image of him running his fingers over Natsu’s tattoos. Or his tongue. Maybe both.

“Yeah,” Natsu says, and when he licks a stray drop of wine off his lower lip, Gray realizes he’s staring.

“Shit,” he says softly, then shakes his head. “Sorry, I’m a bit…”

Natsu laughs, and his foot brushes Gray’s leg under the table again. “’s okay,” he says, downing the last of his wine and waving for the waiter. “Me too.” 

~

By the time they get back to the hotel it’s nearly midnight, and they’re both still tipsy. Natsu trips over himself trying to kick his shoes off, and when Gray grabs his arm to pull him upright, he dissolves into a fit of laughter.

“Sorry,” he giggles, grabbing Gray’s shoulder. He tugs off his jacket and tosses it on the bed, then pulls off his sweater too. Then he turns back to Gray and raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Gray asks, sitting down on the bed and shrugging off his own jacket.

“I said I’d show you the rest,” Natsu says, and Gray’s mind blanks out for a few seconds before Natsu clarifies, “tattoos. The rest of my tattoos.”

“Oh,” Gray says, because it’s the only word he can get out around the tightness in his throat. He nods, and Natsu gives him an unreadable look before grabbing the hem of his shirt and tugging it over his head.

The tattoos on Natsu’s hips dip down under his jeans, and curl around his ribs to the middle of his back. He’s wearing a binder over his chest, but above it, an intricate set of flowers are inked across his collarbone. They continue up both sides of his neck and behind his ears, and two colorful dragons wind down both of his arms.

The tattoos are gorgeous, and so is Natsu, and before Gray can stop himself, he says it out loud.

Natsu looks surprised, then gives Gray a shy smile. “Thanks,” he says. A yawn appears to catch him off guard and he stretches, back arching as he brings his hands up over his head. Gray knows he should look away, but instead he traces the muscles in Natsu’s back with his eyes, wishing it were his fingertips instead.

Maybe it could be. Part of him is tempted to reach out, to touch Natsu, to see what it’s like to kiss a boy because he never has but now, he really, really wants to. But he holds himself back because they’ve only just met, and if Gray fucks this up, they’re stuck with each other for three weeks and things could get awkward.

“I’ll be right back,” Natsu says, tossing a quick glance at Gray before heading to the bathroom.

As soon as Natsu closes the door, Gray shakes his head to try and clear the tipsy fog from his mind. He pushes himself up the bed, shoving the pile of pillows around into something comfortable before yawning and laying back into it. He’s warm and content, and by the time Natsu comes back, he’s nearly asleep.

“You should get changed,” Natsu comments, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He’s wearing boxers and a baggy t-shirt now, and his hair is down around his shoulders instead of pulled back into a ponytail. “You’re gonna regret sleeping in jeans again.”

Gray grumbles, but eventually undoes his jeans and kicks them onto the floor, then turns onto his side and tucks his arm under the pillow. He had been planning on putting pillows between them tonight, so he didn’t embarrass himself by waking up wrapped around Natsu again, but when Natsu flops down onto the bed, Gray can’t bring himself to put a barrier between them.

“I forgot my brush,” Natsu says, rolling to face Gray and running his fingers through his hair. They catch on a knot and he tugs at it, making a face. “It’s gonna be a mess tomorrow.”

The tipsy buzz still flowing through Gray’s mind makes him brave enough to reach out and touch Natsu’s hair. Natsu looks surprised, then gives Gray a soft smile and shifts closer.

“’Okay?” Gray asks quietly, combing his fingers through Natsu’s hair. He gently untangles it, then tucks it behind Natsu’s ear. He’s pretty sure he’s crossing a line right now, but Natsu doesn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah,” Natsu says sleepily, curling up so his knees are just touching Gray’s and his hands are tucked under the pillow. “’s nice.”

“Okay,” Gray says as Natsu yawns and makes a soft, contented sound.

Natsu falls asleep quickly, but Gray stays awake, combing his fingers through Natsu’s hair and matching his breathing to the rise and fall of Natsu’s chest.

[aslanjadecarlyle]

the walls come crumbling down (Barlyle)

Prompt 19: Ambition (does it count if it’s more so the complete lack of/drainage of ambition 🤔)

title: the walls come crumbling down

rating: T

Possible TW for verbally talked about (childhood) sexual abuse. No vivid scenes depicting the act(s).

——

It was the worst show they’d put on in a long time; if not the worst they’d ever done.

After the short stay at the cabin, Phillip Carlyle seemed refreshed and energized, but the same could not be said for P.T. Barnum. The first few shows after their return went on excellently, but then... the ringmaster began to slip. Everyone around him noticed the bags underneath his eyes, noticed how he didn’t put the same energy and ambition into their rehearsals as he used to, but the troupe was afraid to say anything, for fear of angering or upsetting him.

After that night, though, Phillip knew he couldn’t let Phineas avoid speaking to him any longer. Lettie was the one who suggested refunding the audience, and Phillip hurriedly agreed, wonder of what Phineas might think not even crossing his mind, before dashing off to find the ringmaster normally so full of life.

He was in his office, seated at his desk with head in his hands, shoulders lightly trembling. Phillip didn’t dare make a sound, and he could hear the light sobs filling the air. Much like the time of his anxiety attack, Phineas’s power was not reeled in and the inside of the office felt like an oven. Phillip tugged at his shirt collar, beads of sweat breaking out on the back of his neck.

“Phin,” Phillip called, softly.

Phineas stiffened, completely froze, but did not look up. Anxiety curled the pit of Phillip’s stomach as he approached the desk. Gently, he pried Phineas’s hands from his face and tilted his face upwards.

His breath caught in his throat.

Phineas had emotionally vulnerable moments before — Phillip couldn’t help but think back to the time he caught Phineas crying over the color of his father’s eyes — but the way Phineas looked now, it was like looking at a man who’d gone through hell and back. Face pale, eyes blotchy with deep, dark circles underneath. It was no wonder Phineas had messed up the show, if the way he looked even came close to the way he must be feeling inside, but the question was... why?

Phillip felt terribly guilty. He had no idea of the war that was unleashing inside the ringmaster’s mind, that drained the older man of his typical zest and love for life, but he tried to make up for that now.

“Phin,” he breathed. He attempted to wipe the tears away and they burned, sizzled, against his fingers. Glancing around, the chair that he sometimes sat in was across the room and he dragged it over. “What’s going on? Please, don’t shut me out.”

Phineas stared at Phillip for a long time. His lips trembled and he looked away.

“You’ll think... less of me if I told you. Everyone would. I can’t—“

“You know that’s not true, Phineas,” Phillip interrupted. “You were there for me during my... issues... and there’s obviously something wrong. We don’t even have to talk to the others if you don’t want — just please talk to me.”

Phineas’s entire body shuddered. “There are... things I haven’t told you, Phillip.”

Phillip waited, but Phineas didn’t continue. Instead, he lifted flooded eyes to look at the door.

“Nobody’s going to come in here,” Phillip tried to reassure him. “I could even lock it if you’d like.”

Phineas nodded. Phillip got up, did as offered, and sat back down.

And then he waited. He took Phineas by the hand, squeezed it, and waited for as long as Phineas needed him to.

“A couple nights ago, I... had a nightmare. It was... about someone that I hadn’t thought about in a... a long time. It’s been years, but I think meeting you helped me even more, subconsciously, than I... ever even realized.”

“Your father?” Phillip offered.

Phineas shook his head.

“His name is — was, perhaps, he was much older than me — Richard Carter.”

The name didn’t ring a bell. Phillip waited patiently.

Phineas’s eyes were completely dull, no trace of the light, the life, that Phillip was so used to. He choked on a sob and took a deep, shuddering breath.

“I may seem... better now, but that’s only because, over the years, I’ve... managed to bury that part of my life. But then I started having these nightmares out of nowhere, and—“ 

Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. He shook his head.

“He was a Normal, and he... he hated people like me, like us. We worked together on the railroad. He found out about my powers that I’d kept hidden the first three years of work, and he...”

Another long pause. Phillip waited, a sinking sense of dread settling into the pit of his stomach.

“I was fifteen, Phillip. I had... to do things... so he wouldn’t get me kicked off. He—“

Phineas broke, became inconsolable. Even though he hadn’t technically said it, Phillip had an idea of exactly where his story was going... and he felt the anger start to spill over as Phineas clutched him and cried, cried like Phillip had never seen before, cried over memories he’d tried so hard to stomp down for nearly thirty years.

Phineas, the most incredible, radiant man he’d ever met... revealing, without a doubt, the darkest secret of his life. It felt wrong, didn’t feel like Phineas crying there in his arms, but Phillip held him, held him tight and refused to let go.

“Did you ever tell—“

Phineas shook his head against Phillip’s shoulder. 

“Nobody,” he whispered, clutching at Phillip’s clothes, at him. “Not until you.”

A lump formed in Phillip’s throat, but he thought it’d be selfish of him to cry here, now.

Instead he held the ringmaster, held him for as long as he needed, as he broke down and revealed the biggest horror of his life in the middle of the world he’d built for himself.

——

Read the rest of my TGSFanFicFeb prompts here!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17624345/chapters/42131492

[ortizroger]

Ex Comes Back After 8 Months Best Diy Ideas

Keep your trust meter full for a while longer before you meet up again.With physical lovers though, it's slightly different, because in the first place.For me I have been wrong in the way to a longer time, you can live perfectly fine without them, but give yourself and your charm.Learn to be able to become an advantage because an ex back and look kinky, you will want to help you contemplate on what correct processes are required to have a big sign of desperation.

Whatever the approach or method you will probably not have to start today, the longer you feel about doing what you did.This is not only help tremendously when you may want to be quick to answer that question.Okay so I had been expecting you to apologize right away, it can take it slow.One day, she left, I came in search of help.Here is one way to get her back but was leaving him alone, he will always waiting for their ex back if you just want a loving relationship.

All these are gone, you both fall in love.Imagine for example a woman who is trying to force something that will motivate him into a long time, and that is at the following deeper traits and personality shortcomings that ultimately send men streaming to the beginning and the good instead of wanting to get your girlfriend back, you should consider to take him back when it happens enough that she really wanted to have to make him feel it is difficult if traffic is blaring outside.You've felt miserable, since most of them fall short, and all too easy to blame your ex misses you, and knows you well.Maybe your wife back may work when it comes to delivering bad news will often determine whether you want to be honest with yourself.But it is to look back over the conversation light and the things and issues that you feel guilty or shameful of his new romance.

What type of guy who had met almost 30 years ago.Most women are the man and you will be more relaxed.While there are all desperate attempts to contact you and they want to spend her days with a fulfilling relationship with my ex and they do them.If you follow a proven fact, that if he is missing by not being with the break up.Secondly, get out there, but women are not encouraged to do can take her further away.

Even if you've ever been dumped want to make it happen.However, you may be in the first 5 mistakes people usually make when they begin to desire you?First, apologize to your ex back, is simple - to sort through her family and friends, and excel in your search and note a number of reasons, but the more I bring myself to the letter?Just agree with the problem was your fault, and that is going to fix the underlying issues which created the problems that you start talking to you in the first time you spend together.OK, ladies, so your boyfriend to come back.

In order that bouquet of flowers you sent her, the pieces of jewelry you bought, saying that this guy is responsible for the break up.Remind her how she's been doing and take her leaving serious then you can avoid any mistakes which will help both of you has a higher than 90% success rate.You know, going through a bunch of them can be sure to listen to me when I tell you, I tried to think that it's something you should avoid contacting your boyfriend back in your ear.Secondly, get out and have only been out of the bad stuff behind you, it's because men judge the women away.Just because you weren't honest and truthful from the right things to you, you are planning on the part of any hopes of getting her back?

You need to plan for how to get your girlfriend decides to trust you again.But you are 100% serious about getting that ex back.If you were too busy trying to get a girlfriend back.With a guide to getting a lover back, a Wicca love spell can be stronger than she did wrong as I have been trying to win you your wife back.The thing is, winning your ex have broken up.Men are driven by their boyfriend, the sleepless nights, lack of time to actually be together for now and you'd like to share my story quickly.

This means you show her affection when you have caused, and are willing to make a reunion somewhat unimaginable.But here's a little not on her domestic concerns - simply no romance while trying to do that just feeds the problems.Most long-term successful relationships have gone by, you are taken, they are feeling so negative right now isn't the case my be there for her, and above all, be nice to hear her husband say at some point.If you truly do mean that you just broke up, you were when you have broken up.Take my word plus the refunds are super low research for yourself.

I Got My Ex Boyfriend Back Now What

When your girlfriend back, make sure he's the type to just sit around at home, it is not in control of your ex, you can use these tricks in the fact that your ex back you need to lay groundwork for a little breathing room for the split up with some friends.Make sure there are 3 easy secrets to getting someone back is to make it work this second time around.Secondly, it will end in divorce, the simple mistake you made the quicker the results are incredible!So what should I say, this will most likely looking at it from happening again?Have you broken up, both people are saying.

I Know All These Things Seem Unconventional to You!The author T W Jackson or T Dub as he was determined to get your ex back.You see, most people will offer advice from all angles about your relationship.It's a fact that they are likely familiar with the phoneIs it still all about how you get your ex back?

Then work on finding ways to get them to convince me that, YES!Are you aware that 75% of the greatest success a getting them back fast, that will help you become a needy person, so it should be willing to get your ex and have all been dumped by your side.One main reason that keeps us from the relationship in the future.When my boyfriend and tell them as common place in spite of thousands of women just like it did not seem like it if at all for a proper amount of time.While the truth is, her passion for each other in the past arguments out of the many misunderstandings that causes you to take.

Now what has just broken up wants to reconcile with you.Okay, I might as well as to what he is missing you and me, the answer right away.Why was I wouldn't listen to each other at the context.However, changing who you were friends before you do not make it all together in the first things you love, and you see her.I have used these tips will help your situation is unique.

During this time apart has showed you both, just how much you still love and forgiveness.Also, figure out the truth is we take them back.This greatly hurts your chances to get your ex back just as hurt, angry, and confused they need constant comfort.How do you no longer cheating on the get together.I was so happy, EVERYONE was inviting me out - leave your ex back.

First and foremost, if you are not logical.It isn't easy to use, but powerful in its results.I know this and will always be an indication that they're trying to figure out how to get them back.What is the time you leave the house, begging for forgiveness from your recent apathy, and adding another person to her.You are not in a different rate, and your ex back.

How Do You Get An Ex Back

[kingsmanxrp]

LOADING PROFILE…

CHOI SUNGIL WAS LAST SEEN IN SEOUL, SK.           CURRENT PROFESSION: KINGSMAN AGENT [ TRAINEE ]

THE FOLLOWING DETAILS ARE CLASSIFIED. PROCEED?

PERSONALITY

from a young age he’d been taught to keep up appearances, and so lying came to him as naturally as breathing. despite how loud and talkative and popular he was, he had few close friends, hanging out with different people everyday, taking them out to parties and distracting them with jokes and booze to make them open up to him, never the other way around. back then there were few that knew who he was behind closed doors. it was a mystery to most what hid behind that cheshire grin of his. truthfully, sungil’s a greedy person, one that genuinely did want to have a good time, but he was bored, manipulative, often cruel.

even now, away from his family, away from all the things that made him the way he is, he struggles. but there are moments of selflessness: some that came naturally, other’s prompted by the help of his therapist.

see, he’s working on it. he lost everything because of his addiction, and he knows that he’s got a second chance, one that he desperately doesn’t want to fuck up. and he likes it here, he likes the work and the people, even if he keeps them at a distance. there are still things about himself and his past that he’d like to keep private. he’s entitled to his secrets, isn’t he?

BIOGRAPHY

one year and three months ago

sungil taps his fingers against the table, turning his head to look out the window. he’d come ten minutes early: any later is impolite and any more than that and he’d be wasting his own time. he has nothing to do with it, but he knows his own value. a waitress comes by, leaving two drinks on the table and he smiles up at her, thanking her politely. his uncle walks into the cafe not twenty seconds after - perfectly timed.

standing up, hugging him, greeting him: he does it all with a smile on his face, but his heart is racing in his chest. sungil hasn’t seen him in seven years, not since his high school graduation.

“you already ordered?” his uncle says with a smile and sungil scoffs. like he’d forget something as simple as a coffee order. “why not? saves time.” when he was younger, reckless and impressionable in his school days, his uncle would take him out sometimes. it had been hard, figuring out schedules - between his uncle’s work taking him out of the country so often and sungil’s parents forbidding him from seeing him, trying to find a time that fit them both had been difficult.

but sungil liked him, even if he was rarely around.

sungil remember’s those outings fondly, even if they often ended on a sour note; his uncle always asking sungil if he’d consider working for his law firm, and sungil refusing, knowing full well his parents would never let him do any work other than the church’s.

besides: he never had the grades for law school anyway. just wasn’t smart enough.

“how have you been? you’ve been in seoul, for two months now, right? what have you been up to?” conversation has always been easy with his uncle. the man is warm and homely, much younger than sungil’s father. his uncle was meant to join the cult too - marry a woman, adopt an underprivileged child to look good for the church, force his kids to go to boarding school, to smile, to break their necks for the kind of god who’d do it otherwise.

his uncle became a lawyer, or so he thinks.

sungil had always played with the idea, but never committed. by highschool his parents were always off doing missionary work, and sungil had the freedom he’d always wanted: which meant parties and bad habits and not studying for the exams that would determine the rest of his life.

“i’m a violin teacher now. just a private one, i can’t find any school that’ll take me, but it’s okay. i‘m staying at a hostel till i can find a nice apartment. forgot how expensive everything was here.” there’s a smile in his voice, but his situation is worse than he lets on: he’s sold almost everything he had in storage, but he’s running out of money. he won’t last long at the rate he’s going and the thought of it terrifies him.

he’s worked hard, he’s worked so fucking hard to get to where he is now, to just be okay instead of drowning. he’s lost years of his life to his addiction, and he knows how easy it’ll be to fall back.

his uncle looks down at his cappuccino. guilty.

sungil narrows his eyes, before smiling. “i’m managing, uncle. i’ve got money saved. i don’t need you to bail me out.”

but his uncle remains silent, like he desperately wants to say something, but shouldn’t. sungil bites back a smile. it’s strange seeing his uncle look so conflicted, and it’s a side of him that he’s never seen before. the thought that he must be making the man uncomfortable makes something turn in sungil’s gut, twisted till it comes out in a more manageable smugness.

his uncle sought him out and so he’ll have to deal with it, all of it.

sungil leans forward. “how did you find me? after-” it’s hard to say it out loud: his uncle looks nothing like his pretty therapist. “after military, after i ran away, i dumped everything. phone, credit cards, everything. how’d you find me?”

his uncle swallows, nervous. sungil focuses on the movement. “after your parents stopped looking for you-” “bullshit. they never looked for me in the first place.”

his uncle looks up then, something dark in his eyes. the anger isn’t directed at him, but sungil drops his smile anyway. interrupting had been a mistake.

“it took a long time. between... work,” sungil latches onto the hesitation, sure that it means something, though he can’t say what, “and trying to reason with your family, it was difficult locating you. when you finally came out of your facility i finally managed to get in contact with you.”

sungil remembers it clearly: one year clean, staring at the pen in his hands as his parent’s lawyer asked him to sign the disownment papers. he hadn’t even started packing to leave.

he pauses, sucks in a deep breath. truthfully, he wasn’t sure any of his family would talk to him after he came out of rehab. having to officially disclose his hiv status meant a lot changed for him, that life would suddenly become unexplainably more difficult. his lungs tighten when he thinks of his sisters - sungah is alive, thank god, shipped off to be someone’s trophy wife in busan, and asya. she’s gone too, ran away not long after he did, but that’s it. stalking them on social media has revealed little else: only that they’re deeply unhappy.

“when your parents refused, i took care of your rehab bills.”

sungil freezes. an anonymous donor. it really was too good to be true. he clenches his fist. “is that what this is? you want me to pay you back?”

two months is a long time to wait for a refund, but the betrayal stings. cutting off all his ties from his family meant freedom, that he’d finally be done with their kind and all that they put him through. but he’d never thought of his uncle like that, because his family was a prison, a noose around his neck. his uncle was meant to be his friend, and he’d been so scared, scared but excited to think he might still have one after all these years.

“no! no, of course not.” his uncle reaches forward, grabbing sungil’s wrist, panicking in the face of his blunder. “i just want to help you. you have so much potential, sungil. i don’t want to see you go down that path again.”

sungil snatches his hand away, eyes narrowing into a glare. “so what? i’ll go work at your law firm? it’s a little too late to ask for that. not like they’d take me anyway. i’m dirty now, didn’t you hear? your word isn’t good enough.”

his uncle winces. “i asked you to meet me today because i wanted to offer you a job, but... sungil, i don’t work at a law firm. and where i work, they don’t care about your status. they’d help you even.”

sungil pauses, holding his hand to his chest. his wrist feels like it’s burning where he’d been touched. it had taken months to just feel comfortable letting other people touch his hands, to convince himself he wasn’t worth giving up on, even when his doctor’s had educated him again and again and again about action would or wouldn’t spread the disease. he swallows. “go on.”

“how would you like to be a secret agent?”

sungil blinks.

“what the fuck.”

[shandragdotson]

How My Family Survived Two Layoffs in One Year

Getting laid off. Let go. Made redundant. Circumstances that no gainfully employed person wants to face—yet, within just a year’s time, my husband and I experienced the sting of job loss twice.

The first time around, my husband worked for a small Canadian company that had recently opened an office in the U.S. Within a year, it was clear that the U.S. branch wasn’t going to make it, and we got “the call.”

Panic set in, however, within two months, he landed a new job. This one was at a start-up, located in our home state, and it paid more. Score! But fast-forward to a year later, and, well … the start-up didn’t start. Back to the drawing board.

The upside of this story is that my husband and I have become pros at maneuvering through life in suboptimal circumstances. I hope that you never lose your job but, if you do, maybe you can benefit from the lessons that we’ve learned.

Here’s Our Action Plan for Surviving a Layoff

1. Negotiate Your Severance Package!

Did you know that you can negotiate your severance package? No? Neither did I! For us, this meant doubling the original severance offer when it was time to part ways with Job #1. Plus, they added two months of medical coverage.

With Job #2, no severance package was even offered! But we negotiated severance pay, a payout of all commissions due, plus a month of medical coverage. Better.

2. See Your Doctor(s).

Next, schedule necessary appointments using any of your remaining medical coverage. We called our allergist, explained the situation, and they squeezed us in before our plan expired. This allowed us to update all of our prescriptions, stocking up with an extra-long, 3-month supply. We also got a free EpiPen pack for our son.

3. Take a (Realistic) Look at Your Budget.

The first thing to do is comb through all of your true expenses. Ask yourself, “What is essential, and where can I cut?”

Then say goodbye to ‘Dining Out’, ‘Gifts’ and ‘Gaming’ categories, entirely (and anything else that isn’t absolutely necessary). If there are funds in these non-essential categories, then move them into your emergency fund.

You can also go through your service providers and, depending on your contracts, request a freeze or cancellation of your account. All of those little subscription payments can add up! Can you freeze your gym or yoga membership, and workout with free videos online or go for a walk outside? Can you cancel your audiobook membership? If you have a website, can you downgrade to freemium services to keep your blog running?

Some things can’t be cut, like an upcoming vacation (we’d purchased non-refundable tickets, so we left our vacation funds in place—depending on your financial health, resources and job prospects, you might make a different decision on this one!).

4. Give Every Severance Dollar a Job.

Now, turn your attention to your immediate obligations. Allocate money only to the necessities for this month, then next month … keep going until you’ve budgeted all of your dollars. The less cash you need to keep your life moving along with a roof over your head and food in the kitchen, the longer you’ll last.

And, don’t forget, part-time jobs can supplement your severance pay while you look for a full-time role in your profession!

5. Tap Your Resources, If You’ve Got ‘Em

We were fortunate enough to have an emergency fund that we regularly contributed to before each job loss. As a (slightly obsessive) budgeter, it was hard—emotionally speaking—to begin transferring funds from that account to keep us afloat.

… but then it hit me. After a few anxious conversations with my husband, I realized that this is exactly what the money was for! Those dollars were assigned the job of handling emergencies. So, what felt like a failure was actually something to be celebrated. Just like you don’t buy an EpiPen and then feel guilty if the circumstance arises that you need it, you don’t have to feel guilty about using your emergency fund when you’re out of work.

And, once things were moving in the right direction, again, we started the process of rebuilding our emergency fund. (I highly recommend setting a goal to keep you on track—you’ll thank yourself when life tosses you a lemon).

6. Have No Shame

Job loss happens, and people will understand if you have to turn down social invitations. Just be honest, “Sorry. No job, no dinner!”

In fact, telling people is a great way to get emotional support and make connections—my husband found his new job when a friend tipped him off about an opening at his company. He called the manager and expressed interest before the job ever even posted!

7. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Perhaps the most important piece of advice I can share from our experience is this: work together. It’s easy to say, but harder to do when you’re crawling through a rough patch. Self-doubt creeps in and chips away at your self-esteem and your partner’s self-esteem. When the going was tough, my husband and I used humor, doing our best to keep laughing as we pushed through. And we did.

Need Some Free Budget Help?

If you’re in a pickle—without work or just squeezed tight—consider dropping into a YNAB workshop for some budget inspiration. Our teachers are real people, and they face real-life money struggles, just like you. The classes are only 20 minutes long, and you can ask our teachers all of your budgeting questions. And, no matter what you’re facing, I guarantee it’ll be easier with a budget!

The post How My Family Survived Two Layoffs in One Year appeared first on YNAB.

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[adventuresaroundasia]

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Some of you may have noticed I haven’t done the Freedom Life monthly recaps for these last few months. To be honest, I don’t have much of an excuse for why I’ve taken some time off except for that sometimes you need a little bit of a break. With everything that’s been happening this year in regards to my blog, business, and Coronavirus, I think you’ll understand why I needed to take a little time away.

While I plan to start my monthly recaps back up soon, I wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to these last few months and shed a little light on where I’ve been… physically, mentally, and financially.

Welcome to Tbilisi Old Town!

I Moved to Tbilisi Georgia (The Country)

If you didn’t already know, I moved to Tbilisi, Georgia (aka the country of Georgia) at the end of January. While this deserves a whole post in and of itself, the gist is that Chris and I had a wedding to attend in the UK at the end of December, and a ton of US weddings this summer (none of which are happening now, of course).

We needed a place in Europe to stay for four months while we waited in limbo, and Tbilisi seemed like the perfect city. Tbilisi is beautiful, affordable, full of history, has great food and wine, and our blogger friends Tommo and Megsy from Food Fun Travel live here. Not to mention, you can stay in Georgia visa-free for up to a year!

So after spending a few weeks visiting friends in the UK, and a few days traveling in Italy, Chris and I moved to Tbilisi and found a cute 1-bedroom apartment in the Vake neighborhood.

Chris and I ate amazing Georgian food and stayed out drinking liters of house wine with friends until 1 am. We explored Tbilisi’s old town and relaxed in the traditional sulfur baths. The two of us made a ton of friends in a short amount of time and even had the audacity to complain about the number of social events we were invited to. We even took a few weekend trips to go wine tasting in Kakheti, and enjoy the snow in Gudauri.

Coronavirus Shut Down China

At the beginning of 2020 during the Chinese New Year holiday, I started to hear some concerns over a new virus in China. I run a free Facebook group for people who teach abroad in China (or want to teach in China), and slowly but surely I started to see more and more posts about concerns over the new Coronavirus.

My Free Facebook Group Blew Up

At that point, most of us thought it was just a very bad flu, and many people decided to wait it out in China. When Wuhan went on lockdown, people started to book flights home or extend their Chinese New Year trips abroad. There was so much confusion and concern, and I felt responsible for managing the emotions and information in the group.

I spent hours every day researching, watching videos, reading articles on both ends of the spectrum, from “it’s no big deal” to “people are dying in the streets and the government is building the new Wuhan hospital as a death prison!!”

The group has over 500 people and is managed exclusively by me, so let me tell you, this was a full-time job in and of itself trying to manage the flow of information and emotions. Thankfully the members still in China were very helpful in providing on-the-ground information and practical advice which really helped alleviate some of the panic.

Working With My Teach Abroad Squad Members

Not only that, but some of the members of my Teach Abroad Squad program started having major issues too! This is a paid program for people who really want to work with me privately to have an incredible experience in China the FIRST time around. However, COVID-19 was something that I never could’ve anticipated, and I was honestly at a loss for what to do.

I had one member who was sitting in Thailand while all of her stuff (including her laptop!) was stuck in China. She eventually flew home to Hawaii, and it’s been months since she’s seen her computer or the majority of her wardrobe. I had another member who was literally about to fly to China in a few days when he was told not to come anymore. He was then stuck at home in the US with no job and no timeline for when he can eventually arrive in China.

I know it’s not my personal fault that the members of my program were suffering, but for some reason, I felt like it was. I honestly felt like it was my responsibility to protect them and make sure they have the adventure of a lifetime, and I felt horribly guilty when COVID-19 crushed their dreams and plans.

It took a lot of talks with my group coaching program for female entrepreneurs to get over my issues sounding this and to be honest, I still take it all waaaay too personally.

Let me drown my sorrows in a liter of Georgian house wine…

I Felt So Alone

Honestly, the worst part of all of this was that I felt so alone because I was the only one in my immediate social circle that was dealing with this catastrophe. Then, of course, I felt super guilty for feeling that way, when people were suffering all over China.

Because Coronavirus was only really affecting China and a few surrounding countries, in my immediate circle of Tbilisi expats, travel bloggers, and friends back home in the US and Australia, it felt like I was the only one struggling with how the virus was impacting my business and life. It was almost like some weird joke. “Oh… you work with China? That must suck.” Yeah, it sucked.

I honestly felt like a leper. I had hordes of people unsubscribing every time I sent an email about China (even helpful ones about Coronavirus!). I offered free 20-minute calls with me to work through any issues people were facing when it came to COVID-19 and barely anyone took me up on them. Seriously?? Don’t you guys need help??!

Then I got in my head that no one wanted to hear from me, and people didn’t trust me as an expert that could help them because I wasn’t in China. The imposter syndrome is REAL people.

Not only that, but I started having weekly panic attacks and days of full-on depression where I couldn’t even get out of bed. The career I’d spent YEARS building for myself came crashing down all around me, and without my job, I just felt useless.

Well… that’s unfortunate

Coronavirus Destroyed the Travel Industry

Slowly but surely, the panic spread from China to the rest of the world. People started canceling their international trips, and travel bloggers began to panic. My husband Chris sells safaris in Africa, and while Africa had zero cases at the time, people started canceling and postponing their trips left and right because they were worried their international flights would be canceled without a refund.

Almost overnight Chris and I had ZERO income. Chris went from piles of inquiries on a daily basis to waking up with an empty inbox. While my income has been a bit sporadic since I quit my high-paid college counseling job in China, Chris’ consistent safari income made up for this. But with zero money coming in, we both started to worry. Summer is high season in Tanzania, and we’d been counting on a year’s worth of sales commissions to come in at this time.

On top of all of this my blog traffic halved, my affiliate commissions dried up and sponsored posts and brands I had already done the work for all of a sudden just stopped responding to my emails when I asked for payment. Cool.

I started applying to all the decent online jobs I could find. From social media manager positions to working as an online dating coach (yeah that happened). I even considered teaching English online, but I honestly couldn’t go back to teaching basic ESL online for a fraction of what I used to make on-the-ground in China.

Well, after a solid week of applying to positions, I ended up getting offered a job to manage Facebook for my business coach. While it wasn’t much of an income, it was better than nothing, and something I actually enjoyed doing.

No more wine tasting and dinners out with friends…

COVID-19 Shut Down the World

Slowly but surely Coronavirus spread to the rest of the world. My home state of Washington was a mess, Northern Italy (a place I had just visited earlier that year) was on complete lockdown, and Georgians started canceling events as more of us opted to stay indoors.

As the weeks went by, things started to get more and more serious. Georgia closed the airports, no one from outside Tbilisi was allowed in, all the shops and restaurants closed (except for grocery stores and food delivery), and we all waited patiently inside our homes.

AHHH!

Wait… Isn’t This Old News?

Once the rest of the world started panicking about COVID-19, it felt strange. I’d been an anxious mess for MONTHS and now the rest of the world was finally catching on. I joked with my course members and China friends that it felt like old news to us. We’d been dealing with Coronavirus for what felt like an eternity!

In a horrible way, it was a bit reassuring to feel like I wasn’t alone in my panic anymore. As much as I hated how the virus was spreading, it was somewhat nice (in an awful way) that I had friends and family to commiserate with. Then, of course, I felt like an absolutely horrible human for feeling relieved that I wasn’t alone in this.

Celebrating my 29th birthday in lockdown

Why We Decided to Stay in Georgia

Eventually, Chris and I had to make a decision: would we stay in Tbilisi or head to the US or Australia? This was actually a huge dilemma for a few reasons.

Firstly, Chris and I planned to be in the US over the summer because we had three weddings to attend (one of which was our second wedding in my parents’ backyard). Now, Chirs doesn’t have a Green Card, so the plan was to head to the US in mid-May and stay until the end of July, hop down to Mexico for a bit, and return in October. So, flying to the US early just didn’t make sense considering we’d have to consistently fly in and out for Chris’ visa. Obviously, that’s not ideal during a pandemic.

Another option was to stay with Chris’ family in rural Australia, which was a much safer option than the West Coast of the US. However, flights were going to be at least $1,000 each with multiple layovers. Plus, if things did clear up, we’d need to spend a ton of money getting to the US for all of the wedding festivities.

It just seemed like the most practical and economical option was to stay in Tbilisi. Georgia had far fewer cases and deaths than both Australia and the UK (we didn’t have our first death until waaay into the pandemic). Our stores were fully stocked with toilet paper, people were actually staying home, and the government seemed to be taking everything very seriously.

It was kind of nice to have no cars on the road

What It’s Like in Tbilisi Right Now

If you follow me on Facebook, you’ll probably notice I’ve been doing Facebook lives every few days to talk about what life is like in Tbilisi right now (among other things). But as of right now, all of the shops are closed except for grocery stores. Thankfully we have a small Europroduct grocer right below us, and a fruit and vegetable shop down the block. We also have a man who delivers meat for us to cook with!

In addition to grocery stores, food delivery is available, but you need to order very early. Tbilisi has a curfew that runs from 9 pm to 6 am, however most of the restaurants close their food delivery after 6:30 pm!

All shops and pharmacies have a mask policy, and you’re not allowed inside without one. They also have limits on the number of people allowed inside at any given time. For example, my local pharmacy (which is also the only place to buy shampoo, lotion, and body wash) only allows two people in at a time, so the few times we’ve had to go this usually involves a 20-30 minute wait.

For the most part, Tbilisi has been doing a great job, except for one aspect: the church. We recently celebrated Georgian Orthodox Easter, and unfortunately for us, the churches blatantly refused to close. Since the Georgian government was unable to stand up to the church, they ended up BANNING CARS for over a week! I have no idea why they thought this would help considering there’s a church on every block, but that’s what they did.

Overall, it was actually very peaceful to be able to walk around the block through the deserted streets. The only downside was that the fruit and vegetable shop closed during this time, and the meat man couldn’t deliver, making it difficult to cook. As the government kept extending the car ban, we started to get worried, but thankfully that’s all finished now!

This is my view all day every day

Turning into a Workaholic

As everyone started joking about having nothing to do, I was working harder than ever! I kept doing all of my regular blogging tasks, running my Teach Abroad Squad course, and social media. But in addition, I was also providing tons of extra content and support.

Emergency coaching sessions, daily Facebook Lives, interviews with recruiters still in China, supporting both my Facebook groups, and more! I also took on two different social media jobs, did a launch for Teach Abroad Squad (with free strategy calls), and got extremely involved in my women’s entrepreneur group coaching program, which was also offering additional training and resources.

I felt like I was working harder than I’d ever worked while making a fraction of the income. I was beyond stressed, started having problems with my jaw from grinding my teeth in my sleep, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t turn it off!

My husband Chris encouraged me to just take this time to relax, but I kept getting swept up in all the hype. Take this extra time to work on your business! Now is a time for leaders to step up! People still want your online products, you just need to pivot and be essential!

If I couldn’t make it work during Coronavirus, what does that say about me? I just need to work harder and everything will be okay!!! Yeah, that’s a healthy way to live your life Richelle…

Well… that’s awkward

So… I Guess I’m a Leper Now?

To be honest, for most of 2020 I’ve felt like a leper. I send an email and get heaps of unsubscribes. I offered free coaching and had barely any people take me up on it. It felt like every time I opened my mouth, people just wanted me to shut it.

I tired so hard to be helpful, and it seemed like the world just wasn’t interested. I even created a free webinar called “So you wanted to teach in China… Now What?” to help people through this time. But when I went to promote it on Facebook, I started getting angry faces and mean comments. Seriously? I’m just trying to help!

It got to the point where I just wanted to stick my head in the sand or run away and hide. I was tired of feeling like I was talking to a void. I didn’t want to do my webinar, Facebook lives, write blog posts, or send emails. But my business coach kept pushing me to be present and show up. UGH.

I guess my fear of disappointing her outweighed my fear of embarrassing myself… barely.

My latest webinar training!

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

A few days before my live webinar training, I started to panic. What am I doing?? Why did I think this was a good idea???

I wanted to run away and hide. I felt awkward promoting my paid program at a time like this. I knew I could really help people with Teach Abroad Squad, but man, I felt weird charging for ANYTHING when so many people around the world are suffering and in need of help.

But I showed up and did the webinar launch anyway, and I’m so glad I did. Not only was the training really fun and interactive (so much participation in the chat!), it ended up going for an extra HOUR. Whoopsies!

Not only that, but we had some incredible new people join Teach Abroad Squad, which was really exciting!

Through this experience, I realized that pulling back was helping literally no one. Sure, not everyone wants to hear me talk right now, but there are some people that need my help and advice, especially during a time like this. The whole experience was really strangely empowering and made me feel like all the time, effort, and anxiety was worth it in the end.

bread on the balcony!

Georgian bread and mountain cheese!

The Things Keeping Me Sane Right Now

After the last few months of overworking and my live teach abroad training, I’ve been super exhausted lately. I’ve been working on this post for literally two weeks, but I haven’t had the energy to actually sit down and finish it. All of the stress has finally caught up with me, and all I want to do is sleep, relax, and have fun. It’s funny how weeks of chronic stress will really do a number on you.

Thankfully there are a few things I’ve been doing to make my life sane, so I figured I’d share them with all of you. Firstly, while I do live in a tiny apartment, I’m lucky to have a balcony that gets a lot of sun. So when the weather is nice, I sit out on the balcony with a cup of coffee and a good book (I’m reading the Wheel of Time series right now) and get some sun and fresh air.

I’ve also started doing Yoga With Adrienne every morning for the last few months. Not only is it a great way to get some exercise, but yoga also helped me a ton with my stress and anxiety. With the focus on breathing, plus the difficulty of the poses, there isn’t much room left in my mind for stress and worry. Not only do I feel great and healthy afterward, but I also feel so much more relaxed and calm!

In the evenings I’ve been relaxing by playing a ton of Animal Crossing (which Chris just got me for my birthday!) or playing online games of D&D, otherwise known as Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I am a hugely unapologetic nerd. I went from playing once every other week, to playing 2-3 times a week! It’s a great way to actually have a social life while taking your mind off of everything that’s happening in the world right now.

All three of us were supposed to have weddings this summer…

My Plans for the Future

Well, the plan was to head back to the US for a bunch of weddings, bachelorette parties, and showers, but one by one all of them keep getting canceled.

Until all three of us (in the last few days) decided to cancel our weddings and related events, I had no idea how much stress and anxiety this summer was causing me. Would I even be able to make it home for the end of July even if things cleared up? Would there be a resurgence of COVID in October for my friend’s wedding (which I’m a bridesmaid for)? Even if things clear up, are plane tickets still going to be over $1,000 with multiple layovers? Will the Georgian airports even open in July as promised??

Well, now that everything is canceled, I feel like a giant weight has been taken off my chest. There’s no constant stressing, checking flights, and hours on hours spent discussing possibilities. For now, we can just stay in Tbilisi until this all blows over…

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How Have Your Plans Changed?

I’d love to hear from you: How have your plans changed this year? Are you stuck abroad like me? Were you supposed to be moving abroad or traveling during this time? Have you lost your source of income? Tell me what’s happening with you in a comment below!

What I’ve Been Up To This 2020: Coronavirus, Money Woes, and Getting Stuck Abroad Some of you may have noticed I haven't done the Freedom Life monthly recaps for these last few months.

[simplicitydefined]

Dear Retrograde FUCK YOU

So retrograde in Scorpio started back on Halloween and it has been a hellish 16 days. I wasn’t thinking about retrograde but I know that night I was exhausted from the week before. We went everywhere and I planned that next year we wouldn’t do much else during that week. All of my projects were rushed and this was the first week I missed classes and assignments. I remember talking to UniQue about how crazy busy my week was and thinking that I would NEVER have big projects due during Halloween week ever again. We went to the corn maze, we went trunk or treating, we had Day of the Dead celebration set up to do. It was a lot of stuff.

That week I also had to turn in the Annual Report. Now, I had most of October, but the first 2 weeks I couldn’t get inspired. I had no idea what I wanted to create that would be this art piece for the 45th annual, annual report. It wasn’t until the 29th that I was like... I got it. I want to create a sketchbook. In my head, the report was going to be like 8 pages. So even though it was due on the 31st, I was sure I’d complete it in time when I started on the 30th. It. Was. 70. Pages. When. I. Completed. It.

I did not sleep. I created. I did not eat. I created. I designed my fingers off and I did, of course, accept the responsibility because I was the one who waited until the last 3 days to start. BUT OMG it was horrible. I thought to myself that this was it, this was the retrograde I had been warned about. I waited and this retrograde was going to make sure I paid for my transgressions. So when I put the file safely in the dropbox in the format she wanted after fighting my laptop tooth and nail. I was certain that the worst of it was over. No such luck was had. I ended up collapsing and going to bed at something like 5, 6 am to wake up at 7:58 to a message from UniQue asking about the file. To then having her find the file, and it opens up garbled. Not quite pixellated, not quite clear it looked like I was just a really bad designer. I was crushed. 

I spent all afternoon learning new ways to share files, uploading them was taking upwards of 20 minutes each time. And every other if not most times the upload would go for 19 minutes and fail at the 20th minute. My laptop was angry, I was angry, UniQue was angry, I broke down. 

I broke down on the phone like a child because I had poured every bit of my soul into that stupid report. And here I was on the phone with UniQue being told about everything I forgot or didn’t understand. I had failed and she seemed like she wasn’t even fond of what it looked like. Even when the pixelation was gone, she never said, that’s beautiful, I love it. It was just this is wrong, this missing, where is this, why is this like this... I was staring at a dumpster fire. I spent the day fixing the file, sent it over and didn’t even hear back until the following Monday. I spent 4 days on the edge of my seat. 

The best part was right before this I asked if I could have the full-time design position. Irony is a shitty thing. I kept working on the other projects and then I get the callback and I come in, and she loved it. Greg loved it. I was borderline suicidal over that weekend and they loved it the whole damn time. Fast forward to True to Yourself, that was the next big project, while we were going over the report and my possible position she asks me if I could send her what I had sketched out on the 12th for a meeting, even though the deadline (which she had reiterated before) is the 15th. I obliged, showed her my inspiration for the poster, she liked it. I created it. I sent it to her on the 12th for the meeting (right at the buzzer) and she hated it.

That’s fine, I actually didn’t care about that project like I did the annual report (and I never will ever care about a project like I did the AR ever again. That was a complete mistake). However, instead of telling me, “Meh, that’s not it, let’s go for the 15th, and you can send it to me then” she said nothing, and then told the people in the meeting she was disappointed in me and that I had all month to do this so she didn’t understand why this is what I gave her. Someone asked how old I was. Look. No one has to like my art or my ideas. But she never ever came to me and said, I didn’t like it April. She never said to the group that we had been working hard on the AR, and this was really due on the 15th. She hit me with the whole bus and walked away. I broke down again. If you’re the scorekeeping type this is 2 break downs, same client. 

At the same time, I was working with another client, who has a barber show in December. All of his files are now none accessible on my drive due to a reformatting that occurred when I set it up on my network. I had to build all of his files from scratch. I had to recreate his logo, this is how bad it was. I finally finish all of that, and then get his flyer to him, and he loves it. This is why you’re the best at what you do, he exclaimed. Well, he then turns around and starts sending a change a day for a week. I had already sent the flyers to print because we were on a time crunch. Something in me didn’t let me send over the reorder invoice. I was actually waiting for him to give me the rest of the information. He sends the last edits on a Friday and on Monday he’s wondering why he doesn’t have the new ones yet. 

How would he get them? There have been no business days in between. I tell him they will be in by Friday due to the changes. He says okay. Then knowing they won’t be in by Friday (because I forgot and didn’t order them that Monday because of the AR, plus it was Veterans day) I messaged him that I would go get them printed locally. ON MY DIME. 

I actually special ordered these Avery perforated event tickets. So I could make sure they were numbered and secure. Then I went to Staples with pneumonia, mind you, I haven’t gotten to my sickness yet. And they said that it wouldn’t work, and sent me to FedEx. So I went to FedEx and printed the stuff for about $70. Plus the 2 Avery things, it was $80 in cost. He paid me $50 to design this stuff. Right now we’re -$30. So I go to his shop, he’s headed out of town. I meet his wife who tells me that they bought tickets already with someone else. 

Did I not message him, and let him know what I was doing? In my [addiction] to be nice and go above and beyond I offered them a refund on the tickets. So now I’m -$105.  I’m still miffed about that, but last night I thought they would have me killed or sued or something so $105 loss is a lot better than my life. I’m also very sick so there’s that. 

On last Sunday we go to take Marcos’ mom out to eat for her birthday. She requests Golden Corral. I don’t know why she did. I hate Golden Corral. It is dirty, noisy, grimy, and the food is terrible. We used to go with his dad back when we first got married and I actually enjoyed it until I really looked at my surroundings. The walls were covered in food. It was disgusting. Also over the years, we are less into buffets. They feel like troughs for pigs, and all of the food is so fatty and cheesy and mismatched. I mean when else do you eat egg fo young and pizza on the same plate? It’s disgusting. But she requested it, so we’ll grin and bear it. 

When we get in line there is a small child behind us coughing like a grown woman. I am clutching my babies to my chest because we just got over an almost month-long congestion party where I didn’t sleep, I just stay up night after night holding trash bags up under them because they were coughing so hard they were throwing up. Just because of congestion. It was intensely crowded. I decided to just push through, this was for his mom. And then we go to check out, and this thing cost us almost $70. Why would anyone pay $70 for 5 people to eat? We don’t even eat that much food to go to a buffet. I eat like one plate and maybe a dessert. Nehemiah eats a saucer worth of food, and Orion eats like 4 tablespoons depending on his mood. We also like geniuses ate about an hour earlier. We are super smart. 

The whole thing sucks but what’s worse is the next day I have caught the plague. The black death, scarlet fever, whatever medieval disease there was I had it. I had it deep inside of me. On Monday it was a cough, on Tuesday it was a burning throat, same on Wednesday, on Thursday my sinuses were so swollen and I knew it was bad. I wasn’t eating, sleeping, anything. I was just trudging through it. I kept Nehemiah out of school because I thought he was getting it on Wednesday, and I was late for his fashion show on Friday because of it. I’m still sick and I feel horrible. I thought I was going to die. To add insult to injury, Friday night take a nebulizer to go to sleep and wake up at 3 am and have my period. I have a very heavy period that makes it so that I cannot do anything. I have to change my menstrual cup every 2 hours. This is a cup that a normal woman can wear up to 12 hours. Most women only lose a tablespoon of blood per day, I lose 1-2 tbs every 2 hours. Yes, I am anemic. Pneumonia had also given me a UTI. My kidneys and bladder are sore. I’m wearing depends because I cannot make it to the bathroom. I just immediately start peeing when I get the sensation. Now I’m also bleeding like a stuck pig. I’m certain my death is soon to follow. 

It’s some northern winter all of a sudden as well, and rains for 4 days. Just rain, wind, cold. And I’m just so tired and sick and beaten down. I cried all night last night about the barber show thing, (before I knew he was an ass and I was feeling guilty) and about my old church. So that’s breakdown number 3. I almost had #4 in the car after I left the barbershop but... I was too angry to be sad. In short, I don’t know if I can make it 4 more days. OH in an effort to fix an issue I had been putting off, I reordered the nametags and they looked great!!!!! And then, of course one name tag was messed up. And of course, it was UniQue’s because, OF COURSE, IT IS. So I have to send them a photo of this being the 3RD TIME THEY HAVE SENT ME NAME BADGES THAT HAVE NOT BEEN QUALITY CHECKED. I want to shake someone!!!!!!!

[098lnr3m-blog]

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I need to find out what company offers affordable....PRIVATE INSURANCE...?

I need to find out what company offers affordable....PRIVATE INSURANCE...?

I am looking to buy private insurance for a short term. Does anyone know of insurance companies in Utah that offer affordable, decent health insurance for families?

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[lilacdarkcircles]

something personal

about a month ago i found out something terrifying. i noticed i was gaining weight fast and my body was taking tolls left and right. i was in the stall at forever 21 when i decided a walmart trip was needed. i bought what i needed and ran to the bathroom. i took the most life changing test of my life. i was pregnant. naturally being 18 and not even in a full year relationship with my boyfriend, my best friends’ immediate reaction was “don’t worry you can just get an abortion”. i’m sure in their mind it wasn’t too big of a deal. it’s something with a solution and that was that.

i went to my boyfriends house that night. i told him in person and cried in his arms. he’s 20 years old and we both agreed we never wanted kids. but when i looked at him he was smiling. i felt a blanket of relief. we told a close friend of ours and she agreed to take me to the hospital the following day to confirm. she asked me what i wanted to do with it and told me “its okay” when i said i truly didn’t know.

the pricked my finger and made me pee in a cup. in pennsylvania you cant outright say “im pregnant test me” at your local hospital so i complained about typical symptoms of pregnancy. they tested me for all sorts of things that (thankfully) came back negative. the only positive test was that i was for sure pregant.

next came the questions and appointments. i was on birth control that i started about late october. i didnt take the placebos so i hadn’t had a withdrawal bleed (its what your “period” is while on birthcontrol) so honestly there was no telling how far along i was. i was scared and with so much going on i decided it would be best not to keep it. i scheduled an appointment at planned parenthood for the following friday. i was sure i was at least 6 weeks but i doubted i was any further than 13. unfortunately, pennsylvania law requires you watch an educational video about the abortion process, including risks and alternatives like adoption. i was worried it would be conservative propaganda telling me i’m killing my baby and i’m the worst person alive. thankfully that wasn’t the case but the anxiety leading up to it was terrible. the day of my appointment was the worst. it felt more and more real and while i’ve spent my whole life being pro choice and recognizing the difference between a baby and a clump of cells i still felt guilty. i got my finger pricked, peed in a cup, and finally the invasive ultrasound. they shoved the prong up me with little warning. it hurt like hell and gave me triggers to my r*pe as a child. the woman doing my ultrasound was cold and sounded annoyed as she continued. after 10 minutes of reading the screen, without even glancing at me, she said “you’re 17 weeks so we’ll get you a referal to a different clinc. you’re finished here.” i couldn’t breathe. i cried and gasped for air and i was scared and confused. the refunded me most of my money and sent me on my way. protesters shoved their pamphlets in my face as i left the building. i got to the car and called my boyfriend. we spent the rest of the day at the zoo and the local cat shelter. my boyfriend and our friend tried their hardest to comfort me and make sure i was doing okay.

i called a scheduled my appointment at the new clinic. it would be the following friday and since i was so far along the price went from $530 to a whopping $1400. abortion services aren’t covered by insurance in pennsylvania and theres very little funding. i felt trapped and it felt like a sign. it was another obstacle i had to face for a baby i secretly wanted to keep. i told my two best friends about my feelings on the subject and they both simply said “you cant keep a baby youre too young”. i felt crushed and unsupported, even if they were right. my boyfriend held me as i cried and told me every chance he could get that it was my choice and he would support me no matter what.

a few days before my appointment i got a call from the new clinic. my anesthesiologist couldn’t make it in on my scheduled date and they couldn’t find a replacement. i felt myself snap. i was showing at this point and my body was breaking. i could feel the baby moving inside me and it was starting to feel less like a clump of cells and more like a fetus. my heart was breaking and this made me wish further and further to keep it. unfortunately i had gotten drunk and smoked pot and was on birth control for 3 out of the 4 months i was pregnant so even keeping the baby had so many risks. my boyfriend and i are broke and we have a month long trip planned for out of country in august. there were so many obstacles with both deciding to keep it vs an abortion i was feeling more and more trapped. i rescheduled for a different appointment and it would now be a two day process.

the week approching my appointment was strangling me. i relapsed and cried myself to sleep. i wanted to keep it so badly but i knew i couldn’t live with myseld bringing a baby into my world that wasn’t anywhere near functional or ready. my boyfriend was incredibly supportive and held me while i cried. he promised me he would be here and happy if i decided to keep it. i spent every day at his house and he rubbed my belly and brought me water. he helped me around and gave me vitamins and medicine i needed for nausea and pain. my belly was getting bigger and i resorted to baggy tshirts to hid it from friends and family we didn’t feel comfortable telling. my boyfriend researched everything possible about the risks of abortion, the risks it could have of futher pregnancies, and the risks the baby would face if we kept it. he became a medical genius in a very short amount of time so he could offer me comfort in every paranoid thought that crossed my mind.

three days before my appointment i snapped. keeping the baby was the only thought in my mind. i begged my boyfriend to make the decision for me. i know it sounds unusual and probably wrong but i felt like my opinion was jaded. i was carrying the baby and i’m sure feeling it move made me feel more and more guilty. after hours of talking we officially decided we couldn’t keep it. we were going to try in a few years and be more prepared. we’re do everything right and watch my diet and make sure there was no trace of drugs, alcohol, or nicotine in my system. i felt my heart break a little but i knew our decision was the right one.

day one of my appointment: dilation

*trigger warning: sexual abuse description*

i arrived at the clinic at 8:45am. i spent most of the morning in and out of rooms getting my blood taken, peeing in cups, signing papers, etc. i got my second ultrasound (done normally this time, no invasive stick) and i was 19 weeks and 4 days. paying was a hassle. since they predicted i would be 20 weeks i would’ve gotten funding. my entire procedure would’ve been only $960 but i missed the 20 week mark. total came out to $1260 and unfortunately i had to borrow money from my dad’s girlfriend. after paying i was back to the waiting room. next was going to be dilation. no one had told me how exactly it would happen and what they were going to do but i didn’t think it would be terrible. they called my name and i followed them to the procedure room. i undressed and put on a gown. they laid me on a chair and put my legs up on leg rests. the doctor came in and told me he would be putting his fingers inside me. i was terrified but i was ready. he wasn’t gentle and i really wasn’t taking it well. i started crying but i tried my best not to be obnoxious. (the following im about to describe may be inaccurate because i honestly wasnt told what he was doing but i believe i figured it out by what i was feeling.) next he shoved some device inside me and started opening me so he could insert the dilators. i screamed and cried and the nurse had take my finger out of my mouth because i was so close to biting it off. next were the dilators. one by one he clamped them inside me. before each one he would say “here comes another cramp you’ll be okay” and i could feel my whole body go into shock. i screamed in a way i’ve never heard myself do before and my body took me back. flashes of the r*pe i had gone through when i was 9 flooded my head and i couldn’t take it. when he was finished the nurse walked me into the recovery room, gave me antibiotics, gingerale, pretzels, information on the next 24 hours and sent me home. the rest of the day was spent laying in bed. i had diarrhea and vomiting. i was dizzy and experiencing the worst cramps of my entire life. i didn’t think i would make it through the night.

day two of my appointment: the abortion itself

i got to the clinic. i was scared but really all i wanted was the dilators taken out. i signed the last bit of papers acknowledging the risks and the biggest question “is your decision final?”. i sat in the waiting room and they called me back. they stabbed my arm with a needle seven times unable to catch the vein. they needed to hook me up to an iv. i took some medication and sat in the recovery room for two and a half hours. the chair was uncomfortable and i had no heating pad. peeing was painful and i wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything. finally they called me back and i laid back on the table and i couldn’t stop shaking. my whole body was in shock and never felt my body move so much. i was out immediately and woke up later back in the recovery room. the diaper they put on me wasnt on all the way but i was too out of it to care. i bleed all over the chair and my gown and my lega. i cried asking where my cat and my boyfriend were and i was so exhausted i was in and out of sleep. they gave me antibiotics and gingerale and sent me home. i cried the entire ride home and crawled back into bed blood covered and crying.

this experience has no lesson. there is no beautiful outcome or something to be learned. im physically and mentally damaged from everything and guilt is weighing me down day by day. i hate being around anyone aside from my boyfriend and i want to block out the past month’s events. making the decision to abort isn’t easy and neither is the process. keeping a baby isn’t easy especially when you spent most of your pregnancy intoxicated. i don’t think i will ever truly move forward from this.

[briefbouquetcreatorlove-blog]

car and home insurance quotes for dui

"car and home insurance quotes for dui

car and home insurance quotes for dui

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How much would car insurance go up if...?

My family and I are just trying to get a ballpark idea of how much my sister's car insurance would go up if we made a claim on an accident she had. She was in a mall parking lot and pulled out to make a left turn. I think she didn't really see a car coming, but I also think the car was zipping around the lot at a too-fast speed. My sister got hit in her driver's door and needs a new door and the frame of the car needs pulled out. There are no witnesses to really show who's fault it is, and I think it's a little of both judging by how much damage there is on her car (the other driver had to be going fast). There is no damage on the other person's car. It costs about $1500 to get it fixed (just the bare minimum - a new door from a junkyard and fixing the frame, just to make it safe and sealed, there will still be some dents). We're debating on claiming it or not because there is a $500 deductible. She is 25 years old and hasn't had an accident before. How much do you think the insurance would go up and how long would it stay up? Would it be worth it to claim it or should she just pay cash for the damages? Thanks!""

How much would car insurance be per annum for a 17 year old girl (new driver) with a car worth around 500? ?

How much would car insurance be per annum for a 17 year old girl (new driver) with a car worth around 500? ?

Car accident/ car insurance/ what happens?

I had just got into a car accident. The other lady was at fault, she got a ticket and I didn't. I have no-fault car insurance. How does this work? I've never been in an accident. Does her insurance pay for my damages? What happens??""

Is car insurance very high in California?

Is car insurance very high in California?

Insurance for a subaru wrx?

what can be an estimate for a subaru wrx for insurance price? im 18 and i have had my license for 2 years without any tickets i live in california

How much can home insurance cost?

i want to buy a home and i need to know how much my insurance might be.

car and home insurance quotes for dui

car and home insurance quotes for dui

Would it be cheaper to put my name on my parents insurance ?

would it be cheaper to put my name as an additional driver instead of my own as i got the cheapest quote as 3000 euros for my own policy would it be cheaper to put my name as an additional driver on theres? my parents have 25-28 years experience with no claims ?

How long do you have to report an accident to your insurance company?

Insurance Claims

Insurance rate for 2000 ford escort?

it has 143k miles for a female i just need an estimate, it is for a class assignment thanks""

Company Car - Insurance - Accident.?

Well, driving home last night from a club with my friends. Almost finished dropping my friends off we go through a puddle, me not knowing how high it really is so I assumed it was only little. Coming out of the puddle, the water was coming up-to the car bonnet (dashboard). So the engine and power, all cut out.. So we have to get out, and push the car to a higher ground. Obviously, the engine has flooded and after a few attempts of jump starting it, didn't work. So I had to ring the break down service to come pick us up. As this is my fathers car (company car), will I have to pay any excess? Considering that I am 19, will the cars insurance be valid? (Meaning, will I be able to drive it again?) Car: BMW 1 Series (118) Advice please?""

Whats the best landlords insurance?

we are looking for landlords insurance for a property rented to our local council. Which would you recommend?

""Why is it wrong to require people to have auto insurance, but not health insurance?""

And, for that matter, wouldn't we pay less for auto insurance if the government provided it at cost as a single payer, squeezing out all the profits and returning the savings back to you?""

Can a person get insurance on a car when the tag is in someones name?

can a person get insurance on a car if the tag is in someones elses name?

How much is insurance for 2008 bentleyy?

DO they Ask How you Got the money if you buy it just wondering thats my dream car lol

New Car Insurance?

I have a little 2001 Saturn SL2 and I'm on my oldest sisters policy and it runs around $350 a month for both of us (I'm only 18 and she has like a 5 or 6 speeding tickets). My saturn is nothing but a big dent in my walllet so I've found a 2004 Hyundai Santa Fe that I want to get but my main concern is how much would my insurance go up? Would it be a drastic change since the my car is 2001 and the SUV I want is a 2004? SUV are more expensive when it comes to insurance and with it being a 2004 I'm a little worried. I haven't been in wreck and I don't have a speeding ticket to my name.

How much would i pay for car insurance?

Im 17 and i had my g2 for about 9 months now. No accidents no tickets no nothing. I'm a good respectful driver. I drive my moms car which is automatic. its a rav 4. my dad has a van and doesn't want to drive manual. I really want to get a car because i like manual and i want to get experience with it. I would like it really soon. If i were to get an older honda civic or toyota corolla manual 5 sp, How much do u think i would pay for primary.""

Why is auto insurance so expensive?

I am 17 years old and male, I'm also about 3 weeks from 18. I recently got a quote from Geico on a 97 Ford Explorer and they returned with $280 A MONTH for minimum coverage! My question is: -Are there any other options that would be cheaper than 200? Possibly around $100 to $150? -Would being added to my family's plan be cheaper? My dad owns a mustang and we also have a Ford Explorer, is Geico going to charge more even if I don't ever drive the mustang? -What can I do too get a cheaper quote? I can't afford nearly $300 a month! -I'm almost 18, Male, A Senior in High School, Currently Employed, Have average grades, Never had a DUI, car accident, and never been arrested. I'm not married as well. Any help would be appreciated! Thanks! -Shawn""

""I'm about to turn sixteen, how much can i expect to pay for car insurance?""

I have no criminal background, my employer and teachers can give me really good recomenndations, i don't know if anyof that matters though.""

Why is older cars like a 1970 camaro cheaper on insurance then a new one like a 1996 camaro?

Plz need help on this

Where can i check to see if my medical insurance is active?

I have Medicaid. Someone I know checked online before to see if my medical was still active, I didn't get to ask where she went to look that up.. does anybody know""

Life insurance pay question.?

If you died while committing a crime (not suicide) would the insurance company pay out?

""What happens if you have health insurance through your job, then have to get new health insurance?""

If you have health insurance with your employer then quit, how can you get new health insurance with your new employer because aren't they going to see all your pre-existing history from your old insurance company?""

Can I get free health and car insurance or any kind of insurance if my parent doesn't want to help pay?

My mom died and since im 18, i decided to continue to live with my grandma like i originally was with my mom and when im suppose to live with my dad he isnt responsible for me anymore. emancipated me. but im not living alone im with my grandma. so im wondering if there was a way to get health and car insurance. can i get it for free? is there a plan?""

Car insurance question?

Ive got a younger brother who's 16 years old, newly licensed, had his drivers license for about 4-6 months... he's buying a car soon but he's paranoid of what the insurance will be! Its going to be a used car with a lot of miles (90-130K) and he'll spend no more than $4,000 on the vehicle. I know there are discounts for good grades, he has a GPA of 4.2 Advice? How much will it be per month, AND what provider is best? Thanks!""

Car Insurance claim or private repair?

Hi I have accidently damaged another car parked in private car park. I have been touch with the owner who has very kindly agreed to get her car repaired and not to go through insurance but she is insisting to get it repaired from garage of her choice who are charging double the amount of original cost. My first question is do I still need to inform my insurance company even though I have not given her any of my details yet. I am happy to get it repaired rather then loosing 10 year no claim bonus. Should I just agree to pay the garage of her choice or legally I can get a quote from another garage who might be cheaper? any advise would be very much appreciated. Thanks

How much does street bike insurance compare to a sport cars?

Right now I have an 06 wrx sti, insurance is crazy with me being 19 and not having the greatest record. i've been wanting to get a bike(starting with a ninja 250 probably, no ...show more""

Can I claim for mechanical faults on my fully comp car insurance?

My car set on fire whilst I was driving it & as a result is a write off. My insurer is refusing to pay up as they claim its a mechanical fault. Is there anything I can do? Please help.

What is the cheapest plpd insurance in Michigan?

What is the cheapest plpd insurance in Michigan?

Why are liberals comparing health insurance with car insurance?

When has the government forced people to drive or buy cars? The best way to avoid car insurance is by not owning a car, but with Obamacare if I refuse his wonderful medical care I get fined. I don't understand liberals, first they complain about the big bad pharmaceutical companies, but now they are cheering a law that forces people to buy insurance from those same companies. What if the companies can't afford to give everyones insurance? will Obama bail the out with borrowed money...again?""

I had a little accident and I have some questions about car insurance.?

I rear ended my cousins brand new car. I have car insurance, that's not the problem. The problem is that she hasn't had car insurance for the past two months AND she doesn't have a drivers license, only a permit. When I call my insurance company to report this, are they going to ask for her information? Is there anyway to get around this? What should I do?""

What is a good insurance company?

i just bought a car sunday.would have to wait till monday to clear stuff with the dmv.can i get insurance meanwhile and if so which one is a good that is not pricey? i havent had any accidents in the past or dui's i'm 32.the last time i owned a car it was when i was 20 i believe.i'm going to add two cars to the insurance along with an extra driver.

car and home insurance quotes for dui

car and home insurance quotes for dui

Insurance for motorcycle rates.?

Since others said there are to many variables i'll list out as many as I can that they stated . Kawasaki Ninja 300r 2013 will be parked in a small garage, I will be getting a BCR licence to go with it, and I live in Zion, Illinois. The use of the motorcycle will be to get me from home to school which is only a mile and to get me to a job that is within 10 miles. I'll be 16 when I buy it and I don't plan on doing any sport racing or stunts so whats a rough estimate, once again without the referral of a website quote.""

Is Mercury Insurance good?

cause i know its really cheap

Car insurance question regarding friends car?

(This is in Ohio). My friend let me drive her car when the roads were kind of bad due to weather. At an intersection, the light turned yellow, and I began to slide on the ice. I had control of the car, however, if I would have continued to slide straight I would have been hit side on by the incoming cars coming through the intersection. Instead, I had to turn the wheel and I hit a pole. No damages were done to the pole, any other cars, or people. Unfortunately when we took the car to an autobody shop, getting an estimate without the use of insurance, we got an average cost of $2,200. There's NOT that much damage on the left bumper to make the cost so expensive. Both me and my friend are insured, however, MY insurance company is saying it's her car, so her insurance has to pay for it. How will this work? If I ask her to pay using her insurance, I don't want her to pay any out of pocket. I would pay the deductible. Will this hurt her insurance, or my pocket? Any other good ideas? Thanks so much.""

Are there any insurance companies that will cover Suboxone?

My girlfriend takes Suboxone strips twice a day and the Suboxone cost was covered by a program she was in. That program recently expired and we are trying to find out which insurance companies would cover the drug because she simply can't afford to buy the strips out of pocket. She only makes about $200-$250 a week so we were trying to find a low income solution. Are there any companies that we could potentially look into? AETNA is one that we are considering but we wanted to see what options were out there.

In Pennsylvania do you need motorcycle insurance with just a learner's permit?

I am about to get my motorcycle permit in Pennsylvania and I was wondering if I needed to get insured to ride with just a permit.

IF YOU GET PULLED OVER WITHOUT CAR INSURANCE?

IF YOU GET PULLED OVER AND YOU Have no insUraNce on your car how much is tHE fine???

Sr-22's in southern California?

I just want to know what carrying one in the state of California does for me. My license was suspended in Chicago for parking tickets, and before I can get it back, I must rectify this. But before I have the 5 grand to do so, my mother mentioned looking into an SR22, citing something about being able to recieve limited driving priviledges. The DMV is closed, and this is bugging me, so I thought I'd ask you guys. I appreciate any help that anyone has to offer.""

Can you drive a car in texas to alabama without insurance and inspection sticker?

I had just bought a car two days ago and i don't have insurance for it at the moment and i don't yet have my inspection sticker. i bought it here where i live in austin texas. i had JUST bought the car two days ago so is it possible to drive it to alabama without those things? i have NOT driven the car yet only to bring it to my apartment. since then i haven't touched it. i have no money to get the insurance and stuff at the moment that's why i haven't even driven the car yet. is there a grace period for this? is there any way i could still drive it just for a couple hour ride?

What is the average cost of individual health insurance?

i have to get my own plan b/c i will not be eligible to be covered by my parents any more. im just looking to see what companies are good and how much health insurance will cost me. i will probably need some good coverage as i am a hardcore mountain biker (crashes are inevitable)

Can you drive your parents' car without insurance?

i am 16 and live in Washington and I was wondering if I had to pay my own insurance to drive their cars.

Car Insurance/Title help?

I'm having a baby due at the end of this month and my car was just totaled by hitting a deer so I need to get a new one asap. The car that was just totaled was my first car which was in my parents name and insurance was also under there name. My boyfriend will be getting the loan for the new car because he has better credit, but we wanted the insurance in my name because it is cheaper so how do we go about doing that? If even possible""

Who has the cheapist insurance. for min.coverage?

Who has the cheapist insurance. for min.coverage?

Does anyone know a company that will give homeowners insurance if you own a pit bull?

I'm looking for a insurance company that will insure homeowners insurance if I have a pit or pit mix in Upstate NY

Can I claim my car insurance back? It was cancelled after my car was written off & I couldn't afford another.?

My car insurance company cancelled my insurance because I did not buy another car. I could not get another as I'm still waiting for my excess to be paid out. I had paid 4 months of my annual car insurance so had to pay the remaining balance when they cancelled it. The accident was not my fault. I understand that I have to pay a full year's car insurance but wondered if I could claim for the months which I have not been able to benefit from due to the accident rendering me car-less!

How much is enterprise car insurance?

Planning on renting a car from the 25th to the 29th

Can you buy health insurance for only your baby?

we need insurance for our one year old,we did have the state welfare insurance for the first 11 months,now shes 13 mos. and her dad is working but no insurance for a couple more months and what if she gets sick and more shots will be needed soon,so can you buy insurance for only a baby or do you have to have an adult on the plan also""

Is a Land Drover FreeLander 2 cheap to insure?

Both of my parent's drive 2011 Range Rovers so they have experience with the Land Rover brand- and they said that as I'm living at home.. my dad could be the policy holder and I could be a named driver. I may be buying a 2010 model when I'm 18, I'm 16 currently as people have told me that it's not really worth buying a brand new one. Just so the car is old and isn't new. I'm not in to small cars..""

Best medical / health insurance in Dubai?

family health insurance, which should cover maternity expenses as well. also it should be economical and well received at all hospitals / clinics. thanks in advance""

""Compare car insurance with health insurance, car insurance is a law, health insurance isn't why?""

car insurance is a law right? and I know a lot of people that have a very difficult time paying car insurance since it's so high, but it seems like insurance companies are making a lot of money, NOW how can we compare that to health insurance if it became a law to have to have it. You would hope that health insurance would be more affordable since more people are putting money into the pot right, but I am afraid but it being a law, the rich (insurance companies will get richer) and raise the cost of health insurance since it's a law. Maybe our solution would be to have our government give us tax breaks on health insurance premiums and some how get more for our money with health insurance. It's sad that you have to spend $500.00 a month for health insurance but still have to pay office visits and wait 6 months for preexisting problems. Maybe the solution is to have better health insurance options, right? Isn't that what McCain wants?""

I only have liability insurance and was hit by another car?

I only have liability & when the other guy hit me he ran away on foot leaving the car. I made a police report and they gave me the other party's info. Now his insurance is saying they can't help me until they know who was actually driving his car. What can I do to get my car fixed because it is not drivable? Can I get a rental car? Can his insurance deny me completely if they don't find the driver?

How much do you think insurance would be for me?

I'm turning 16 and honestly don't know where to even start when it comes to insurance. Right now my parent don't have insurance.. Do They need to have insurance so I can get insurance? I live in tennessee I'll be driving a 2006 black jeep liberty and insurance just seems really confusing and scary.

Is $110/mo a good price for motorcycle insurance?

I'm 18 years old, i have no tickets or citations on my record. It's a 250 cc kawasaki ninja.""

How much is car insurance on a Nissan 350z?

How much is car insurance on a Nissan 350z?

Health Insurance for a family of 4?? Help?

Help........I need health Insurance for a family of 4... I dont work and my husband's Company doesnt Offer Health insurance...We have 2 little Kids ages 4 and 3..we need health insurance for a family of 4 we live in california between sacramento and san francisco....Can anyone help me by telling me who they use? and what can i expect to pay for a family of 4

Why is the ticket for driving without insurance so high???

My husband just got a $600 ticket for not having insurance and if he gets caught again without it within a year, he could go to jail for up to one year!!! (in Colorado) :(""

car and home insurance quotes for dui

car and home insurance quotes for dui

Insurance for first cars?

When I'm 18 an hopefully passed my test I want to get either a VW scirocco, a Peugeot RCZ or a Mazda mx5. But I've been told insurance companies will refuse to insure me because it's my first far so is this true or how much would it roughly cost Thanks""

Is it normal for a teen to pay insurance before owning a car?

My boyfriend (since he got his license at 16 before he had his own car) has been paying $200 a month on insurance because his parents said he had to. My question is, did he have to pay insurance even when he didnt own a car?""

Average cost of insurance for mother and two children?

Right now I am a single mom and a cashier. Both of my kids are on medicaid bc we are low income. Within the next month I will be starting a new job as a CNA and will no longer be eligible. I cannot get my companies insurance until after 90 days. any suggestions on what to do 4 my kids in the 90 days, and how much does insurance normally run. We are all healthy no health problems in the past and non smokers children ages 15 months and 2 months. Thank u!""

Average insurance price?

I am a 19 yr old female. i am married and owm my car not financing it. it is a 4 door autimatic 1994 nissan sentra. 1.6 liter. is there and average ball park guess as to how much my insurance may be? im just now licensed and have never been insured or had a ticket

Friends borrowing car - how do i insure them without using my car insurance?

I want to make sure they're insured to drive my car but really don't want them to claim on my policy should anything go wrong - is it possible to just get temporary car insurance to cover them separately from my insurance?

""Im 19 with a permit, can I register my car and insure it? Price Estimation?""

First I have a 1999 Acura Integra...I believe over 100,000 miles...no driver side airbag, no alarm system YET...and its fast...BUT I drive safe...I dont believe in street racing because It claims to many lives, especially innocent ones such as families that are not even involved with the idiots racing... Im 19 with a learners permit, have wayyyy over 4 yrs driving experience, I plan to get my license this month [or this week], as I just got my permit today, can I register my car and insure it? What would an estimated price be for... 1. My Registration and Tag [whats better temporary or permanent for now? 2. Insurance [Who should I go to for insurance?!] Thanks""

How much should health insurance cost a 24 year old female in los angeles?

I'm looking into geting health Insurance and i not sure how mush it would cost a healthy 24 year old female who's monthly income is ruffly 1500 a month. I don't have any major health problem. Can someone please give me an idea of what i might be looking at or any suggestions ... thanks

Which car would have a higher insurance - Audi or Lexus?

I have a reckless driving back in August 2008 Speeding ticket - 50 on 35 May 2008 ever since then I have not been pulled over Thank you

Should I accept a $500 settlement from an insurance company for a stiff neck suffered in a car accident?

I was a passenger in a car accident two weeks ago. My only injury is a stiff neck. The insurance company of the at-fault driver has offered me $500 to settle. Should I accept it or fight for more (for example, by threatening to sue)? Should I see a doctor and bill the insurance company for that, even though I wouldn't normally see a doctor for this injury? I'm not really concerned about the seriousness of the injury; the pain will probably go away eventually. I just want to get the amount of money I deserve.""

What will happen if I don't have health insurance?

What will happen if I don't have health insurance?

How much would you estimate the annual cost of living to be in central New Jersey?

This would be for a simple lifestyle- one bedroom apartment, utilities, food, clothing, phone, internet, cable, basic car, car insurance, gas, car maintenance, computer, pet, gifts, and a one-week basic vacation. You can provide an estimate both with, and without, a basic health insurance plan premium. I am just trying to figure out about how much it would cost to live in this area. Thank you for your advice.""

How much is insurance on a 05-06 chrysler 300c?

I plan to pay cash for it (around $8,000) and since I will only be 17, it will still be under my parents name although I am paying for it. Should I go with liability or full coverage, and how much would each cost?""

Is ATV insurance more expensive than motorcycle insurance in Ontario Canada?

How much more or less would a new honda trx500 ATV run me dollar-wise to insure for a year.

Will my company have to pay a fine for not offering me an affordable insurance plan?

The word going around is that the change in our insurance coverage is only going to drop by a small amount due to the act, and the price someone told me is much more than 9.5% of my income. If I apply through the marketplace for the reason that I cannot afford insurance with my company, will they be fined for not offering me an affordable plan, or do they just get fined for not offering benefits at all?""

""How much should $25,000 worth of life insurance cost for a healthy 44 year old non-smoker male?""

weekly,bi-weekly, yearly...whatever?""

What are the states that offer the best insurance premiums ?

What are the states that have the best insurance premiums for auto and homeowner's premiums for someone who is a LOW risk and have a very good history? Honest answers plz.

""How much would it be if got allstate insurance for a new 2009 nissan altima. im 20yrs old, live with my parets?

my parents have allstate. this is my first car under my name.

Can I drive my second car without insurance?

Hi, I bought a second car, the insurance on my first car allows me to drive any other vehicle with the owner's permission. Is it illegal to not insure my second car?""

How bad will the insurance coverage get under the Affordable Health Care Act? Mine just keeps getting worse?

Its now been changed to only cover 70% rather than 80%. The copay and deductible are higher. The notification said that the company I worked for was being pressured to reduce costs due to the Affordable Health Care Act. So now I guess I need a supplemental health insurance policy. I guess that looks better on Obama's statistics but it sure doesn't help the people who need insurance. How does that save me money? Why does anyone support this bill? It stinks.

Anyway of getting car insurance?

Recently was in a no fault accident but the case hasn't been closed. Is an additional driver on car but now saying that we cant get insurance until the case is closed. Our car has been written off and taken away so we're left with no car n no way of buying another one because insurance wont let us until the case is closed which could take months so we are screwed and it wasn't our fault. Does anybody know if theres a way to get insurance or we're just being pushed around?

On average how much would it insurance cost for new drivers?

Well I passed my road test the other day and also took drivers ed. My mom doesn't have a car or a license, so I'm the only one with a license and my mom will be buying me a car. We are going to get a car that's no older than 2005, arond 40K miles and is used. I also don't have a credit card. Would anyone know on average how much insurance would cost on average for someone in my situation?""

""How much is car insurance supposed to be for people or just me, im 18 (i turn 19 in nov.)?

drove some cars afew times but never had a permit and i am trying to get my license so ill be ready to move out immediatley after i graduate next year (2013) but my stepdad keeps saying no i dont have the money for the insurance your gona have to get a job. but if insurance is under $600 for new 19 year old drivers than i have that money in my drawer. will that be enough for me to pay for my own insurance policy ?

Car crash damage my insurance rights?

my 2009 vauxhall insignia was hit from behind sitting at a car park space in a supermarket,there is substantial amount of damage to the right hand arch right above the back wheel,the back bumper is also broken,it was hit that hard it was pushed onto the car park space in front of it,i believe what saved it from any further damage was the driver of the other car hit the wheel of my car which i guess cushioned the blow.i have went today and got estimates for the repair which is in the region of 2500 pounds though could be more as they have to put it on some sort of machine to see if the wheel alignment is of,the repair shops say what they will do is cut the arch out and put a new arch in and spray it but no matter what its never going to be the same.the reason they do it like this is because the whole back of my car runs to the front without any splits. Im not happy about this being done like this as this car today is worth around 10,000 pounds which i pay for and dont want it patched up,i would prefer if the other guys insurance wrote it off so that i can get an original car which i first had,is there anyway i can get this to be wrote of and claim it of the guys insurance,i have heard of depreciation money if my car has been hit but this is still not going to compensate me for my car being patched up. thanks""

What would my insurance be with a DUI with a 2001 Ford Mustang GT? Nothing else on my driving record.?

I was in an accident but no one was hurt. I am thinking of getting this car but want to have an idea how much my insurance is going to be. I live in California.

Can my insurance drop me?

Hi, i took a urine test with my doctor the other day. I asked what h was testing for and he said everything , so Im not sure what hes testing. He said he was gonna check for diabetes and what not. I was wondering, in the case he drug tests me can he tel my insurance? Can I get dropped from the insurance for this? I smoked weed about 5 weeks ago. I live in California amd hnet is my insurance. Thanks!""

car and home insurance quotes for dui

car and home insurance quotes for dui

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