#i really wanted to paint this but i didn't have time to :(

[aestherin]

I CAN SEE YOU

track 02: make me

Given how much you loved making art, you could've held so much more exhibitions by now, if it weren't for the immense dread that comes with it. Not because of the exhaustion, but because of your own blood.

"Great! This is great!" Your father laughed, continuously patting your shoulders at the sheer delight of seeing the surges of people arriving at the gallery.

Funny, how they were very light pats yet never fail to weigh you down.

"Now you have to make better artworks so that the next exhibition could be better too!" He grinned. Still keeping you beside him, your father's eyes roamed around until he found a business friend of his. He gracefully nodded at the said friend's direction. In your family's dictionary, this gesture was meant to be an invite.

"Nice exhibition, [Name]." The stranger remarked as soon as he got near you and your father. "When's the next one?"

They both laughed.

And you found it sickening.

Was it really that funny to make light of your hard work and effort? Why are they talking about it as if it was easy to do? As if your paintings were mere commodities — machine-produced, basic, and standard.

Or maybe you were the problem. Maybe you were over-analyzing stuff and putting meaning into things that shouldn't and didn't have them in the first place. Maybe these two men were saying these things because they believe in you and your ability. Maybe it was a good thing.

Maybe you were in the wrong, thinking that they did not really appreciate what you just put out.

But was it really wrong to feel frustrated when people keep expecting more, when really, all you wanted at that moment was to take a break?

"Uhm —"

"You should start on the next one as soon as possible."

The additional statement of the stranger in front of you did nothing to quell your restlessness. One of your brows raised subtly without you noticing it.

"Actually, I plan to take a little break," you abruptly replied. You internally winced at how your voice sounded. The usual mask coating your words — the mask of softness and calmness — was absent. Instead, what seeped through was impudence.

And in the presence of your father, that was tantamount to committing a grave sin.

You fucked up.

The man in front of you just nodded and smiled awkwardly, bidding hurried yet still formal goodbyes to your father.

"[Name]!" Your father wasn't roaring, but there was an underlying threat to his deceivingly calm voice. There always was. "That is not how we talk to our business partners."

'Your business partner, father,' you thought.

"I apologize for my behavior earlier. I was merely exhausted."

He clicked his tongue. "A lifetime of learning etiquette and still making minor mistakes as a full-grown adult? How disappointing."

You remained silent.

"You better hope that disrespect you showed to him earlier wouldn't affect our long-term business relationship with them, unless you want to end up like your disappointment of a cousin."

He's talking about Eula.

Your elder cousin, who to you, was everything but a disappointment. How is it that they disapprove of her, when the only thing she has ever done was follow her dreams and speak for herself? How is it that they view her as a failure, when she was what you looked up to?

Perhaps, you might've even envied her. Her guts.

If you had them, you would have cut off the whole family a long time ago as well.

You took a deep breath, donning another calculated smile as you saw more people approaching.

I CAN SEE YOU — scara x reader smau

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[hrrtshape]

EMMA±??±?±?±?±??!?!?!?!OMGORMGOGMG????? STORYTIME HELLOW WHERE DID U EVEN SHIFT TO

i spent 15 days in the upper east side and now i have an existential crisis about my real life (but in a hawt way)

unlike my previous shifts, where i’d spend 10 minutes, maybe 20, dipping my toes into a life so much better than this one, i spent fifteen whole days in my better cr. fifteen days ago, i woke up in my king-sized bed with 1000-thread-count sheets and realised i had, in fact, won in life.

i had done it. no brief glimpse, no fleeting moment before snapping back to my real-world peasantry. fifteen days. enough time for a full socialite saga and to meet my beau!?!?!??! enough time to wake up in pyjamas which might as well been the most comfortable thing i've ever worn, hear the distant clatter of someone else in the other rooms, and stretch luxuriously as if i were in a renaissance painting. i could smell money in the air FOLKS!?!?!!!! not new money, but old money, the kind that sits heavy in the walls (!??!?!?), the kind that makes people say your last name like it means something. and this was my life. MY LIFE. at last. took it long enough.

the first morning, and you have to understand my main character syndrome for this, i stepped out onto the balcony, the manhattan skyline.....mhmhmhmhmhm....mhm. mhm. mhmm. stretching before me like a personal prophecy, and i felt it in my bones!!!!!!: this was home. MY HOME. okay. so. then i went around, you know, exploring my little room (not little...) and girl the moment i stepped in front of a mirror.......WHO'S THIS BABE???? yea. yea. i even had a cat !!!!

then i went to school. sorry, went, i mean DRIVE. now, here’s the dealio. i had scripted myself into this effortlessly put-together, socially untouchable, well-adjusted manhattan teen heiress life. but there were gaps in my logic. big ones. like, for example: i couldn't drive. i didn't know how to drive !!!

and yet, there i was in the morning in my super super super sSUPPPERRR cutesie school uniform, keys in hand, standing in front of a car (a Porsche, people, a porsche!!!) that looked like it cost more than my entire life back in my cr. so, i acted like i totally knew what i was doing. slid into the driver’s seat with the confidence of someone who had done this a thousand times before, adjusted the mirrors like i had a clue, and started the car.

and then? i picked up lily-rose depp.

(she's not an actress in this dr, by the way. just my best friend. which is infinitely cooler.)

she didn't even question everything. just said i looked really hawt today. i was blessed. seriously. like i'm typing this and also screaming i want to go back.

somehow. miraculously. i got us to school in one piece. st. lazarus international college. it looked like a cathedraland felt like a warzone. we pulled up alongside a line of obnoxiously expensive cars (not a single honda in sight!?!?!?!?), and i barely had time to breathe before stepping out onto the pavement, uniform pristine, COACH. MOTHAUFCKING COACH TOTE bag slung over my shoulder like i was about to solve world hunger instead of sit through calculus (that shi fucking sucked btw !!!! but my school's classrooms were drop dead gorgeous).

anyways. i now have to brush upon something that made me almost let out a humongous squeal when i saw him. CORIOLANUS. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes,ewfygweuvbuihweiusvbgiweu`rs. i saw him. yep. yep. i had to slap myself. metaphorically.

SO. i had scripted that on my first day, i would give coriolanus snow a nosebleed.

and !?!??!?!?!!?! IT SUCCEEDED. when i first saw him, he was leaning against a row of lockers like he owned the place and i swear to god i almost moaned. crisp white shirt, tie loose, cheekbones sharp enough to wound, eyes narrowed. pray.

HO. HE WINKED AT ME. and then i walked past him with my bfffffff lily-rose and. and. and. nosebleed. bro. bro. bro. BROSKI. the way he blinked..........the way his breath hitched just a little as the first drop of blood slid over his cupid’s bow. the WAY he tilted his head back, tongue darting out briefly over his lip. oh my god. i was actively fighting to not go and jump on him and like do vile disgusting things.

i had won the war, but at what cost?

because he was so hot.

SO FUCKING HAWT.

uh. so. yeah. that was just the first two hours of my better cr, and it was already putting my entire existence to shame. like, objectively, scientifically, undeniably better than anything i have ever done in my cr.

ssssoooooo. IF ANYONE WANTS TO HEAR MORE…do let me know. because, hands clasped, eyes glistening, heart on the verge of combustion, i am being so serious. this was the peak of my human experience. i have tasted divinity PEOPLE. i have lived too well. i fear i must go back, or else i will experience genuine withdrawals from the lack of my paramour’s face in my daily visuals.

so yeah. if you’re curious… hit me up. (evil, knowing laughter echoing into the abyss)

OH AND. whenever i'd go to sleep there i'd like cry out of fear that i'd wake up in my cr but whenever i'd wake up just...there...i'd literally pray to god. BECCAUSE EIJISEJFEWUSHFIHEJI. i'm there.

anyway, i am so not okay about this. i keep coming back to edit, rewrite, relive. but okay. listen. if you ever had even a sliver of doubt about shifting, i am kneeling right now, hands clasped, eyes wide with conviction, telling you!!!!!!!

SHIFTING IS SO FUCKING REAL.

it’s real in a way that defies logic, in a way that makes the air feel electric, in a way that rewires your entire understanding of existence. so real. so unimaginably real.

[m45t3rc0mput3r]

I've seen multiple people frustrated with Doey as "bad DID rep," citing the "evil alter" trope. I, as someone with DID as well, respectfully, disagree, and I would like to explain why. Explanation and spoilers for Chapter 4 below.

My main argument is that Kevin, the "aggressive" alter, is not evil. He is hardly even painted in a bad light.

Kevin is a scared, traumatized, tortured child, and he acts like one. Can anyone blame him for reacting with violence after being turned into a toy monster? After being experimented on? After being abused and parentified? After his home and loved ones were destroyed in an instant, just when things were looking up? I would be more baffled if someone DIDN'T react aggressively to such horrible situations.

Like the other components of Doey, Kevin seems to want to keep the younger children safe. This sometimes involves aggression, which is also a completely natural response to everything he's been through. At no point does he really do anything "evil." Doey is an antagonist, not a villain.

In my opinion, Kevin seems like a rather fair example of a protector role in a system. The job of a protector is to, as the name suggests, protect those in the system and possibly others that system must care for. This can include through PHYSICALLY protecting the system and others. Some pieces of media bastardize protectors particularly by turning them into evil monsters, but Kevin ONLY reacts aggressively when it is completely just to do so.

If you walk away from Chapter 4 thinking he was an evil alter that deliberately ruined everything and not a scared, traumatized, abused child reacting to horrible circumstances, that is missing the point and is reactionary. Not all protectors are perfect. Not all systems are perfect. Especially not ones in this situation. It is not "bad rep" to have an imperfect system rather than one that is perfectly held-together and acts perfectly at all times, never doing something possibly morally disagreeable.

[lumine-inkedfanfics]

ℜ𝔞𝔣𝔞𝔶𝔢𝔩 𝔵 𝔐ℭ: 𝔏𝔢𝔪𝔲𝔯𝔦𝔞𝔫 ℌ𝔢𝔞𝔱

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

Synopsis: Your dear fishie boi is in heat? That's the plot :P

TW: smut.

Word count: 680 words

Upload date: 1st February 2025.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

Sticky cum dripping between your thighs, salty sweat coating skin, hair dishevelled. Lips licking against one another, kisses which swallow any noise leaving from your mouth, wanting to keep them to himself. Rafayel was officially in his heat. The urge to lock up and never let his beloved bride go anywhere was making him dizzy.

Your breath, your scent clinking on his skin mixing with his, creating a heady aroma that makes his head spin. Your dilated pupils, which hold his reflection in there. Oh, how he wanted to keep you here. Forget being a hunter. All he wanted was you to be his bride only. Fulfil your duties by being beside him. Give him the life he had to sacrifice aeons ago. Make his wait worth.

Moans bouncing of the walls, his dick so deep in you, his tip having it's own make out session with your cervix. Your womb already filled to brim with his sticky seed.

Yours nails racked his back. "Rafayel- p-please no more, just can't I -" Spots cover your vision, drool leaking from the corners of your mouth, his hard cock throbbing inside you. Thighs quivering, neck and breasts covered in hickies. The colour matching the ones he bought from the paint store.

"My bride, mine- fuckkkkk, no one will have you, I'll fuck you so hard- ngh and rough, no one else will satisfy you. Fuckfuckfuck, gonna g-gonna cum again sweet princess. Gonna fill this womb with my seed." His words were entering through one ear and leaving through the other. And good lord did he look ravishing on top of you. Tufts of purple hair sticking out of place, baby hair clinging to his sweaty forehead, a red mark glowing on his chest. Your train of thoughts was interrupted as he bit the junction of your neck.

His thrust lost it's rhythm, his hips having a mind of it's own. His previous loads leaking out of your well used, gapping entrance. Your lower belly was coiling, you wanted to cum, but it felt really werid this time, as if you are gonna piss. "Raf-rafayel, s-stop! I-i think I need to use the b-ah-throom!"

His hips didn't stop, he knew why you felt like that. Of course, your clit's swollen, your pussy lips puffy, and he's been fucking you for ages, so obviously your overstimulated cunt was going to squirt your heavenly juices out like a fountain.

An unconscious smirk made it's way onto Rafayel's face. A smug grin, like he achieved something.

"Is my beautiful, lovely bride gonna squirt all over on her groom's cock?" while his thrusts became more vigorous. He wanted to see you, loose yourself from the bliss his cock gave you. You felt him nuzzle his head in the crook of your neck, which was now littered with hickies. Soft kisses and tender touches while he moaned against your ears, asking you to let go of yourself to him. He can sense his balls drawing up, his impending orgasm hanging by a thread. The last straw was you moaning his name and begging him to not stop. With one particular thrust, the coil in your belly snapped. Rafayel groaned feeling your tight slick channel clench around his throbbing dick. Your juices spraying on his lower half, the sight was enough to make him cum, deep in your hole, painting your now white insides whiter. You saw stars swimming your vision. He thrusts a few more times, dragging your orgasm as you both slowly calm down. Huffs of breath were inhaled and exhaled as you came down from your high. 

Rafayel placed soft, tender kisses all along your arms and shoulders. His weight, a pleasant feeling on top of you. Slumber welcomes you gently as he pulls out his softening cock. Gently he carries your limp body to the bathroom to give his bride the aftercare she deserves. Before you succumbed to sleep, Rafayel whispers a soft "I love you,  my bride." And with a content sigh and a beyond satisfied session, you give into your much needed sleep. 

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

A/n: Hope you guys like this fic! Follow me on Instagram, link in bio to join lads group chat. Comments, likes, and reblogs appreciated.

[captain-huggy-bear]

The Jello Incident

Pairing: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: N/A

Summary: You come home from work and tell Quinn all about the jello incident at school and then fall asleep on him.

Notes: For the sake of my American audience I have changed Jelly to Jello...um, life imitates art or something like that?

Honestly this is a silly little fluffy fic because sometimes life throws you events that inspire you and sometimes (all the time) you just want to write cute shit.

Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)

Writing Masterlist

The only thing you want as you trail in from a long day of teaching is to take your shoes off and curl up on the couch next to your boyfriend. It's why you're so quick to drop your bag at the front door, very little consideration for the work laptop inside or your water bottle that gives a loud clank. You're practically kicking your shoes off half way down the hallway, one kicked off so hard it goes flying and hits the wall beside Quinn's stupid painting of a monkey with headphones on, before making your way to the couch where Quinn is watching a hockey game, what looks to be a rerun of his most recent game actually. Probably trying to figure out what went wrong and what went right.

"Hey, baby," He greets you as you press a kiss to the top of his hair on your way past the back of the couch, smiling at the familiar gesture, arms already open and ready for you to join him, the game far less interesting than you and your day. Especially after the third run through of it. He's watched it so many times he's not even sure he's comprehending what's happening anymore.

"Hi..." you sigh out, flopping down on top of Quinn on the couch, face pressing into the crook of his neck as his arms come to wrap around you, running over your back in soothing motions.

"Rough day?" He huffs out a laugh as you almost crush him into the couch, not that he'd ever complain about having you on top of him. An ideal way to die to be honest, being smothered by his girlfriend. At least he'd die happy.

"Nggghh," You groan out into his neck, wondering how on earth you were going to explain your day because, "There was a jello incident..." You lift your head to look at him and Quinn's look of confusion, one brow raised, green eyes a little wide says it all. It's how you felt at walking in to the situation itself. Baffled. How does one even begin to explain a jello incident, how on earth did you even get involved in a jello incident when you taught teenagers not toddlers...

"A...a jello incident?"

"Yeah...." You press your cheek against his chest, settling in to recount your day, "There was a sub next door and...I heard him screaming at the kids, so obviously I decided to go make sure everything was okay..." A stupid decision really...you should have remembered the age old adage of 'not my circus, not my monkeys' it would have saved you a ridiculous amount of stress.

"And jello factors into this how?" Quinn twists one of his legs with yours, locking you closer against him as his fingers start to scratch over your scalp in a soothing pattern.

"Would you believe me if I told you the grade 7s had decided to throw pots of jello at each other in Religious Studies? And some of it hit the sub...and I had to take 3 kids into my room as punishment and..." You can't help the way you snort and the thought of it because...fuck, it's ridiculous.

"And?"

"And one of them was sat there with jello on his shoulder the entire time!" You can still picture it, a 12 year old sat with bright pink jello blobs wobbling on his shoulder and cheek because he hadn't bothered to clear it up, proof of his guilt physically on him.

"And you didn't laugh?"

"No, I didn't laugh!" You laugh along with Quinn, mouth pressed into his hoodie while you look up at him from where you're lying on his chest. His own laugh has you bouncing slightly as his chest rises and falls and it doesn't help you to try to take the situation seriously.

"I'd have laughed, baby, sorry."

"That's why you're not a teacher, Quinn..." You roll your eyes even though you know he'd actually make an excellent teacher if he ever decided hockey wasn't for him anymore. He had the patience for it, the calm temperament and steadfast approach.

"Hey! I'd be a great teacher...maybe..."

"Keep telling yourself that." You sigh out, letting the silence fall over the two of you, just enjoying the sound of his heart beating steadily beneath your ear, the feel of his fingers running through your hair, trimmed nails scraping across your scalp and the back of your neck.

You hum as your eyes start to close, feeling like you might fall asleep right there like that with Quinn's warmth against you, the sound of a hockey game playing in the background, Shortie singing Quinn's praises again.

"You wanna watch a movie and cuddle?" He mumbles into your hair, snuggling you closer to him as he reaches for the remote.

"I might fall asleep, the jello incident has me wiped.." your eyes are barely open, feeling like you might drop off at any moment. Not helped by how warm Quinn is, how utterly comfortable it is to lie on him like this.

"That's okay, baby, you can fall asleep on me. I don't mind." He huffs out a laugh, watching the way your eyes blink open as if you're shocking yourself awake every few seconds. You're adorable as you try your best to refuse to nod off, determined to stay awake for Quinn.

"You sure?" You lift your head again with some effort, taking in the soft smile Quinn sends your way, the genuine affection in his eyes.

"Certain, baby..." You plop your head back down on his chest at the reassurance, snuggling closer and letting your eyes close properly this time, "Dune Part 1?"

"Dune Part 1." You mumble even though you both know you're going to be asleep in less than half an hour.

If he's being honest there are few things Quinn likes more than you falling asleep on him or around him. There's something about it, the complete display of trust and comfort, that you're so comfortable around him that you can just fall straight asleep, that fills him with a sense of masculine pride. It's what has him reaching for the blanket on the back of the couch, pulling it over your back so you don't get cold. It's what has him slipping his hand under your shirt, tracing small circles into the warmth of your skin, the sort of circles that always help you drift off. It's what has him keeping the volume of the movie low because he's not really watching it anyway, he's watching you.

He spends most of the movie just watching the way you breathe against him, slow and even, so deeply asleep that you start to drool a little on him. He knows you'd hate him to see that, but he finds it adorable, a compliment really that you can sleep that deeply around him.

Every now and then you shuffle and twist in your sleep, strands of hair falling into your face and each time he pushes them out of the way, tucking them behind your ears so that they don't annoy you in your sleep.

He wants this, he thinks, for the rest of his life. You coming home from a mad day of teaching, some ridiculous story on your lips, him holding you close while you drift off, being the comfort, the safety you deserve at the end of a long day. Maybe eventually a couple of kids, tucked in besides you, him shushing them so that mommy doesn't wake up. Maybe a dog, or a cat, you always said you wanted a cat...

Yeah, he thinks this might be the sort of normal that he wants for the rest of his life.

[feelbokkie]

L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 22

WARNINGS: swearing, mention of food and eating, depiction of an anxiety attack

PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader

GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff

P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?

TAGLIST: ♡PENED

W♡RD C♡UNT: 2,972

SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 21

A/N: I wasn't planning on writing this chapter so soon but on of you sent me a ko-fi and it kinda motivated me to get this chapter done and out.

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©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

You flip through the menu for the fifth time trying to figure out what to eat. Hyunjin and Wonseok happily chat along in their own little world about some art movement—you lost the plot of their conversation ages ago when they started about a specific type of paint and technique that you’re not even going to try to pronounce. Changbin sits across from you, absent-mindedly fiddling with his menu and nodding to the ongoing conversation.

“Are we boring you so much that you’re just going through the menu? Again?” Wonseok asks suddenly.

“I don’t know what to eat,” You grumble quietly.

Wonseok reaches over and turns a few pages in your menu. When he finds the page he's looking for he traces the page with his finger until he lands on one of the menu items. "They have fish and chips right here."

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd take us to an actual restaurant. I can't order fish and chips while the three of you order...whatever you're going to order. It's like if I went to a restaurant back home and just ordered tteok-bokki...or if we were in the States and I got chicken tenders and fries." You gently push Wonseok's hand away from you and roll your eyes.

Wonseok pulls back his hand and brings it to his temples, almost as if he's starting to get a headache. "This is probably the only time I'm going to get to treat professional idols to a meal, I'm not just going to give them street food. Just order what you really want to eat because you're not going to be able to order fish and chips for dinner at the place we're going to. I don't want to hear you complain about not eating what you wanted for the rest of my life."

You huff out a 'fine' as you close your menu and set it to the side. Your eyes land on Changbin who is quietly scribbling something on a piece of paper that seems to have materialized. You quietly shake your head and turn your attention to Hyunjin who is looking between you and Wonseok, thinking hard about something.

"You know, Wonnie, Hyunjin is an amazing artist." You pull up your broken arm from resting on your lap. "He's the one who drew all over my cast. He posts some of his stuff on his Instagram. He's probably even carrying around his sketchbook in that tote bag of his..."

"Ah, noona..." Hyunjin's voice trails off as he scratches the back of his neck. You can't see his ears under his hat but you can almost imagine how red they're getting.

Wonseok takes your broken arm and carefully examines the doodles and drawings on your cast. Most of them are flowers and plants. Occasionally, there are little characters like the BbokAri he drew next to Felix's message and the puppy next to Seungmin's. There's hardly any room left for anyone else to write anything. Before you forbade any of the members from hanging out with you without someone else there, Hyunjin would find his way to you when he was bored and draw on your arm.

"Wow, these are amazing, Hyunjin! Do you mind if I look at your sketchbook?"

Your arm is returned to you as Wonseok and Hyunjin get wrapped up in yet another art-filled conversation. Changbin is still focused on his piece of paper, scribbling away. Part of you wishes you could pull out the small tablet you brought with you so you could work on editing photos on the ride to the gallery. But you know that'll only cause Wonseok to scold you for working when you're not supposed to. If you could offer more thought to Wonseok and Hyunjin's conversation that isn't just regurgitated garbage from your first-year introduction to art history course that you took back in university, then you could easily join in their conversation.

Deciding to bite the bullet, you sit up a bit straighter in your seat and rest your chin in your good hand. "What are you so focused on writing there Changbin?"

There's a moment of silence between the two of you. He pauses writing but you're not sure if he heard you or is thinking of what to write.

"Lyrics," He mumbles so softly that you almost miss it amongst the noise that is Wonseok and Hyunjin chattering loudly beside you.

"Did you get an idea just now?" You perk up in your seat a bit. "Can...can I see? I won't write about it. It's all off the record."

Changbin's head stays low, focusing on writing his lyrics. It's only now that you're reminded of his inability to focus on more than one thing at a time. The fact that he answered you earlier is strange and probably the most he can do.

You watch him silently as he works. You take note of all of the little things you see. Like the way his brows twitch as he tries not to furrow then while he scribbles something out. Or how the fingers on his nondominant hand dance on the table while his head subtly bops along to a rhythm only known to him. Whether he's simultaneously creating a beat in his head while he works or he's remembering a song that one of the other members of 3racha made is another unknown factor that you wish you knew the answer to. You notice the way he mouths out the words he's writing to himself and how quickly he presses his lips together and shakes his head when it appears to not flow correctly. You can only imagine that this is what it was like watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel; hypotonic.

You only break out of your trance when your server comes to the table and takes your order, something that neither you nor Changbin noticed until Wonseok and Hyunjin told you. And that's when Changbin finally looked up and caught you staring at him, forcing you to look away as heat rose to your face. Wonseok took advantage of the situation and ordered your food for you before you could change your mind.

After lunch, the four of you decided to walk around London for a bit. When you were working with Han and Seungmin yesterday, you made sure to avoid the more populated and obvious tourist areas, only capturing notable landmarks in the distant background. With more freedom to explore, you all head to the more touristy areas so Hyunjin and Changbin can blend in more seamlessly.

As you walk along the crowded streets, the earlier pain you felt inside the art galley quickly comes back. You're paying less attention to the conversation between Wonseok and Hyunjin and more to your surroundings. Despite the cool day, you feel suffocatingly hot. Almost like something is sucking all of the air out of your lungs.

"...Y/n!"

You snap out of whatever daze you're in at the sound of Wonseok's worried voice. You glance up to meet three concerned faces watching you carefully.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Your voice is thick is unsteady as you're unable to meet any of their eyes.

"Are you okay? You're walking slowly. I thought we lost you in the crowd for a moment there."

You swallow hard as you try to settle your rapidly beating heart. "I think I ate too much earlier. My stomach hurts."

"You look kind of pale, noona," Hyunjin chimes in. "Maybe we should head back to the hotel?"

You wave Hyunjin off quickly. "N-no, it's okay. I just need a moment."

"I'll go get you some water." Wonseok's voice softens with a gentle tone as he looks around for a shop.

Hyunjin places one hand on Wonseok's shoulder, stopping him from trying to look through the crowd. He pulls his bucket hat off with his other hand, gaining a clear view of the area. "We've been here a few times. I think I know where there's a shop nearby. I'll help you find it, hyung."

"Okay, thank you. Changbin, are you okay watching Y/n?" Wonseok asks the younger man.

Too focused on the unsettling feeling growing through your body, you don't notice that Changbin's already watching you. He's been silently keeping an eye on you since you started to fall behind on your walk. Had Wonseok waited a second longer to notice you, Changbin would have said something to bring their attention to you.

"I got her," He says simply.

With that, Hyunjin tosses something at Changbin and leads Wonseok forward through the crowd. Changbin quietly pulls you off to the side away from the crowd, under the shade of a tree. You mumble out what you hope is a 'thank you,' and focus on Changbin's shoes. They're white sneakers a blue stripe going through them. Subconsciously, you start to count the small holes near the end of the shoe while you place your hand on your chest. You feel your heart beating rather quickly like it's beating a little too hard and might give out at any moment. You apply as much pressure with your hand and take deep, unsteady breaths as you try to calm your heart.

You feel something cover your head, partly obstructing your vision and muffling the outside noise. You look back up at Changbin who is now adjusting Hyunjin's bucket hat that he put on your head.

"Professional idol secret," His words come slowly as he continues to fix the rim around the hat. "A lot of us don't do well in crowds so we wear bucket hats to block out the noise and the view a bit. Fans think we wear them to hide our hair for comebacks, but most of the time it's to protect our sanity."

You swallow dryly, unable to wet your suddenly parched throat. "I go to concerts and fan signs for a living. I do well in crowds."

Changbin crouches down so you can see him under the protection of the bucket hat, a tender smile warms his whole face. It's the first time you've seen him smile since the gallery. "In the past, yeah, but...you have the same expression on your face that you've been getting when we're at the airport lately. You kind of look like Hannie when he's having an anxiety attack."

"I don't have anxiety attacks," You're not sure if you're telling Changbin or reassuring yourself. You can't remember a single moment in your life where you've had an anxiety attack. So why would you start now?

"Okay," Changbin nods before standing up straight again, your view of him is once again obstructed by the hat. He gently takes your hand off of your chest and places it on his own. "At the very least, match my breathing. You sound like you just ran a marathon and I can't help you if you pass out. I don't know cpr."

The two of you stand there for a moment. Changbin's hand is firmly on yours as he keeps it on his chest. You have no choice but to match his breathing by following the steady rising and falling of his chest. You can feel the subtle, yet rapid thuds of his heart beating in his chest despite how calm he is.

Slowly, but surely, your own breathing falls into its own steady rhythm and the strange feeling in your body dissipates. You're not exactly sure how long the two of you stand like that, but eventually you drop your hand from his chest and Changbin let's you.

"Better?"

You slowly nod your head. Most of your discomfort is gone, but you still feel jittery. Almost as if you injected straight caffeine into your bloodstream. "Yeah, I just need to sit down."

Changbin doesn't ask further questions and instead leads you to the small grassy area near the tree and urges you to sit. He joins you on the grass, falling back into silence. Now that you're relatively back to normal, you can't help but avoid looking at Changbin. You're more thankful for the hat now that it can help you avoid his gaze.

The two of you sit there in silence for a few more minutes before Wonseok and Hyunjin find you. Hyunjin is about to question why you're wearing his hat before Changbin stands up and pulls Hyunjin to the side for a moment to talk to him.

Wonseok takes one of the empty spots beside you and rummages through the plastic bag he brought back with you. He pulls out a water bottle and a small metal tin and hands them to you. "I watched a TikTok ages ago and a doctor on there said that mint is supposed to be good for an upset stomach."

"Thank you," You smile tiredly at Wonseok.

Hyunjin and Changbin make their way back to you. Hyunjin takes the other open spot next to you while Changbin sits on the other side of him. They're quiet for a moment while you continue to drink your water and eat the mints that Wonseok bought. Wonseok passes out the other water bottles from his bag to Hyunjin and Changbin.

Surprisingly, Changbin breaks the silence first, asking if the store that Wonseok and Hyunjin went to was crowded. Then the conversation shifted to what everyone planned to do later. Wonseok tells them about your now tentative dinner plans, which leads to an argument. You change the subject to see what the newlywed couple of the group had planned. The conversation shifts again, this time to souvenirs that all of you want to get. Which of course leads to another teasing argument that ends with Wonseok trying to make you spill water on yourself.

"You two are such a cute couple. How long hav--"

You choke on your water as Hyunjin's words catch you off guard and trickle down the wrong pipe. Wonseok has his own visceral reaction, one that you don't see but you can hear the sound of him gagging at the question. Still, Wonseok slaps your back to help you get the water out.

"We--are not--dating." You choke out as you try to regain your composure.

"Y/n is like my little sister," Wonseok adds as he drops his hand back to his side.

Both Hyunjin and Changbin have confused expressions as they watch the two of you. Hyunjin opens and closes his mouth like a fish as he lets out confused babbles. "Sorry, I just thought...you two are...when..."

"Wonseok hyung is older than you but you two talk casually. Plus you're so close." Changbin says finally. Hyunjin shuts his mouth and nods quickly, agreeing with Changbin's reasoning.

"That's because Wonnie is a pathological liar--ouch!" You rub the spot on your leg where Wonseok hit you and glare at him. Although, you're not sure he saw your face through the hat.

"Stop telling people that I'm a pathological liar." You don't have to see to know that he's rolling his eyes. Wonseok shifts a bit and faces Hyunjin and Changbin. "I enlisted right after I graduated high school to get my military service over with. I ended up liking it so much that I stayed for two more years. When I finally enrolled in university, I was so much older than everyone in my classes that I just never mentioned how old I was. I met Y/n our senior year during our internship so I never said anything. She didn't know that I was older until we got our official IDs with our birth year on them."

"And he's so much older," You crack a smile.

"Stop that, I'm only 3 years older than you."

"Whatever," You wave him off as you turn back to the two younger men. "Besides, we're really like family. His parents treat us like siblings."

"Plus I have a girlfriend."

"And he has a girlfri..." Your voice falters in the middle of your sentence as you think about it for a moment. You turn to Wonseok and blink for a moment as you try to process what's happening. "You got a girlfriend? You actually got a woman to talk to you? Romantically? Who is it? Do I know her?"

His lips form a line so tight that the skin around them turns white while he tries to think. You flip part of the bucket hat up so you can see his have better. He's looking down at a blade of grass, contemplating something before he meets your eyes. "Frankie,"

"My Frankie?"

"Well, technically our Frankie but yeah." He sheepishly scratches the back of his neck.

"Oh," Your heart rapidly sinks to the bottom of your stomach.

You physically bite your tongue to prevent yourself from asking a million questions. Knowing that your best friends are dating behind your back hurts. Especially when there's an unspoken agreement against keeping secrets. So why did…

"I'm going to throw this all away and then we can explore a bit more." You get up quickly and take everyone's now empty water bottle.

If you stay where you are and continue to let your mind wander any further, you're going to either say something rude to Wonseok or burst into tears. You're happy that your friends found happy relationships. But they kept it from you and the idea of that doesn't feel good in your head or your heart.

"Noona--"

Wonseok puts his arm out, preventing Changbin from going after you. You're out of ear range as you walk quickly to the trashcan. Wonseok turns to both younger men and shares a small smile. "I get it but if you try to comfort Y/n when she's upset, it's going to become a bigger issue. Trust me, she hate when people see her upset or cry. Just let her have a moment and then she'll be okay."

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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[muchtodoonterror]

#i don’t think people understand just how fucking horrible his situation was #he was a marine. he was on that ship for the sole purpose of PROTECTING THE CREW #he watched his fellow sergeant and captain die in front of him #his friend and fellow marine was rendered comatose under his watch #his entire reason for being on that ship was to prevent things like this from happening #like. can you even imagine the guilt #not to mention the entire setting #they were stuck in uninhabitable conditions being hunted by an incomprehensible beast #if the beast didn’t kill them then the cold or the scurvy or the lead poisoning would #so of course he went with hickey#of course he did the one thing that gave him some amount of control in an uncontrollable situation #he clung onto the situation that gave him the ability to do his job again. to command and protect. #he wasn’t in control aboard terror. he had failed over and over on that ship. #hickey’s mutiny was an opportunity to be successful again #to be in control again#he would’ve died for hickey simply because he needed someone to die for #and by the end when he realized just how far gone hickey was #and how little control he really had in that situation #he went back to crozier #he knew he was going to die at that point #so he went out marching. doing the one thing he’d been trying to do the entire time. protect #he never had bad intentions #he was dying and afraid and grieving and trying to find some sense of control in the worst possible situation #i WISH we got to have the great death scene they planned for him that got cut due to the budget #i feel like people would empathize with him more if there was more emphasis put on his redemption-through-death ending #although i don’t entirely think he needed ‘redemption’#he was never evil or anything. just misguided and scared #anyways sorry lol i love him sm #solomon tozer #reblog

officially approved tags by @fivetrench you get it!!! (bolding mine)

I particularly want to pull out "he would’ve died for hickey simply because he needed someone to die for" because I think it gets to the heart of so much. He had let so many people die on his watch that the opportunity to die for someone else probably seemed like only way to redeem his past failures.

I think my original post oversimplified but I stand by that painting Tozer as dumb or unintelligent is classist and takes away his agency and culpability for his choices. Many of those choices were objectively bad and excusing them as just being drawn in to Hickey's charisma, not being smart enough to clock what was happening, is the least interesting way to look at it to me. He saw what was happening and chose not just to follow but to abet. The thing that makes him such a fascinating (and, I would argue, sympathetic) character is why he makes those decisions. He draws conclusions that are heavily impacted by his anger and his grief, but he does draw them for himself. He was obviously very proud of being a Royal Marine and wouldn't have thrown that lightly aside for someone who, at the beginning, he didn't even respect.

I do not understand and am slightly offended by the fanon I come across depicting Solomon Tozer as dumb or stupid. He just isn't.

There are different kinds of intelligence. Just because he hasn't studied like a midshipmen or officer, that only makes him uneducated at worst. He clearly has interpersonal and emotional intelligence which are not to be sniffed at when you have that many men trapped together in harrowing circumstances.

As he is tending to Heather, he very specifically is describing one of the ongoing scientific experiments. That indicates not just that he's paying attention but that he finds it interesting and noteworthy. He could very easily have been talking about anything, about shipboard gossip or relating old adventures, but he's relating what he‘s picked up of the ship's science.

I'm sure one of the reasons he's depicted thusly is his poor choice in joining up with Hickey and subsequent doubling down on that choice. That is a topic for another essay but my point here is: grief empirically affects one's ability to process and make decisions. Tozer is arguably one of the most grief stricken men on board. They've all suffered losses, but being widowed (if we're taking the real Tozer's biography into account), with witnessing the deaths of Bryant and Sir John, with Heather, with Fairholme's party, with Morfin - he is not just grieving these losses but often feeling a direct responsibility for them. One of these alone is enough to impact his ability to make rational decisions, and as they pile up? And that's not even factoring in the effects of scurvy.

In conclusion, leave my boy alone; he's not dumb, he's just grief-stricken and doing his best.

[respectthepetty]

I wanna talk about the toe

You know, the scene where Fujisawa squeezed Sei's injured toe!

In the first episode, Kaori stated that a broken nail was actually a simple fracture and really just needed a little care to strengthen it.

Which is exactly what she did for Sei

But just like everything else in this show, this discussion isn't about a toe. The toe could be about the embarrassment we feel, so we continue to suffer even when an easy fix exists.

And it could also be about the true source of pain.

Kaori and Fujisawa are not bad people, and the show hasn't presented them as such, but Sei questioned if Kaori was aware of how upset Hagiwara was about the growing distance in their relationship.

Then the show immediately answered that question through Ayako's testimony. Kaori isn't just aware; she's happy about their situation.

Sei also asked what Kaori didn't like about Hagiwara.

And the show answered that as well. Kaori doesn't like that he is a man.

They aren't broken. It could just be a fracture. And there is an easy fix. But instead, they continue to suffer.

Then there is the actual toe, which is Sei's toe. He hit his foot on the table, in the house of a man who designs furniture.

Yet Fujisawa is rarely home.

Sei hurt his foot after Fujisawa avoided their conversation, and Fujisawa hadn't been home or spoken to Sei since, which is why he barely found out that Sei had hurt his foot after dinner. Then, he immediately squeezed the toe.

Regardless if Fujisawa designed the table that Sei accidentally walked into, he was part of the reason Sei was in pain. And at first, I felt he wasn't to blame and thought he didn't even notice. But just like with Kairo, he is aware. And he keeps doing it. He squeezed Sei's toe. He just heard the story about how it was hurt. He was looking directly at the toe. And. He. Squeezed. It. He wasn't even gentle when taking off Sei's sock.

Sei excuses the behavior and tells him it doesn't even hurt anymore, but this is the basis of their entire relationship it seems. Fujisawa does something that hurts Sei, and Sei lets it go. It's a vicious little cycle.

Once again, the show hasn't painted anyone as the villain, yet Sei has specifically stated multiple times who he thinks is a "good man," and it isn't Fujisawa.

During this scene, Hagiwara questions Sei about what Fujisawa does for him that makes Sei want to be nice back to him, and the only thing of substance Sei offers is that Fujisawa agreed to live with him.

He states Fujisawa is patient with him, but Fujisawa also demands he never meet up with his pen pal. Sei also states that Fujisawa concedes often, yet the friend they just encountered stated that if anyone wanted to speak to Sei, they had to go through Fujisawa.

It's all very normal behavior due to the circumstances. None of it seems malevolent. And yet Fujisawa wasn't interested in Sei's foot until Sei mentioned that he spoke to his co-worker who asked his girlfriend to look at his foot. Then, he squeezed the toe, which is an odd reaction. Or is it all very normal behavior due to the circumstances?

Sei doesn't have friends. He never attended the work dinners before. Yet now he is going out for dinners, has a co-worker whose girlfriend helped him, has another co-worker who is a bit afraid of him and he finds it funny, and a pen pal who has a girlfriend who he chats with through an email account that just happens to be Fujisawa's name and birthday.

Which reminds me of this co-worker and her wild story.

The woman is in a bad relationship. She is aware that she is in a bad relationship. There is an easy fix. But she doesn't leave.

Everyone, including Kairo and Fujisawa, are very aware of the situation that is unraveling in their relationships, but nobody wants to apply the easy fix. They are avoiding the issues and causing more suffering. Which is strange because Sei and Hagiwara have been shown to take responsibility and fix problems.

So why doesn't Kairo tell Hagiwara that she isn't sexually attracted to him anymore when he tries to initiate sex? Why doesn't Fujisawa tell Sei about his feelings (of jealously) instead of squeezing his toe? Because the easy fixes require communication, and they refuse to communicate, which is why this entire relationship between Hagiwara and Sei extended beyond one email.

Because it was never about the toe.

[dramaticallytotal]

For Your Entertainment

Oh my god, another TDWT au???? Whaaaaaat?

Yep.

I will not apologize UwU

This au will feature Chaos Gremlin Noah. We've seen in canon he genuinely enjoys chaos and drama as long as it's not involving him, and I wanted to focus a whole fic around that. In this one, he is way more apathetic than in my other aus, and he is really only friends with Team E-Scope and Owen. So he really doesn't care what happens to anyone besides his friends in the competition.

Him being a little Chaos Gremlin is why he has managed to be Chris McLean's longest standing employee ever. They get on like a house on fire. Chris is arguably a king of chaos, so I just love the idea of him emotionally adopting little chaos gremlin Noah and bonding with him. In this au, Chris does tell Noah about having to fire him, and of course, they plan to stage it while Noah helps budget and take inventory of everything they will need for the new season. He is also publicly helping with the fake show, so it looks like he has no idea about the new season. There are some interns and crew who would love to snitch to the producers on him and Chris if they caught wind of their plans.

Noah is the one who selected and approved Alejandro, being the newest competitor as well as one of the fake stars of Dirtbags. If anything else, the guy will stir things up and make things entertaining for Noah while he pretends to be lazy and useless. But Noah and Chris agreed that he would embrace his original marketed title as Schemer. And he's all for it, as long as it keeps him entertained.

A bored Noah is a dangerous Noah. Chris found this out the hard way. (He never thought he would have to talk a teen out of actively blackmailing a very successful producer in the company, but well, life is full of surprises).

Noah knows all the challenges because he helped plan some! He was very proud of himself. Oh, he made sure things were safe but just barely, I mean, he doesn't want to end up hurt or dead in these challenges, so he had to make some safety features and everything. It's weird, but Noah actually feels...excited about the new season. Oh, and he left Chris some of his blackmail material in case they producers want to change anything or are being assholes. They had been planning on buying out the company, and Noah thinks this is the perfect chance. Chris will run the show how he wants, and when he gets complaints, some anonymous "interns" will leak the messages, emails, or calls and show the viewers just how fucked up and corrupt the producers are. This plan has been a year in the making.

Which is a long time for one of Noah's plans to take off, but they want to do this right and come out the winners/heroes.

The day of the plan dawns, and Noah is practically trembling in excitement, but he's had a lot of practice pushing down his real emotions (thanks, Mason). He played his role perfectly all up to the bus rescue. He thankfully was able to get Eva to stay by pretending to fall asleep, but he knew she knew he wasn't sleeping. The trust she has for him has him feeling all warm and fuzzy. He loves Eva. She's basically his ninth sister. Beth ended up staying, too, because Lindsay wanted to paint her best friends nails, and that absolutely could not wait.

The rescue happened, and finally, they were on the bus to the plane. Eva wanted the window seat, and Noah would give it to her since she stayed. Plus, the aisle seat was perfect for observing everyone and seeing what was going on. It looks like Harold and Leshawna were off again, which was not surprising, which would mean a small amount of entertainment for Noah. Then there was the whole Gwen, Courtney, Duncan thing that had Noah holding back a smile. That whole train wreck would bring him so much entertainment.

But who really had his attention was Mr. New Guy. Oh, he knew his name, Alejandro, but he had to pretend he didn't. He could already hear the giggles from the girls who thought he was attractive, and he could already hear the boys grumbling. Noah made sure to give a comment or two about he hoped Mr. New Guy wouldn't just be another Justin, which made some laugh, and Courtney glared at him. Oh yeah, he forgot those two were friends. He also caught the slight smirk from Alejandro before the boy suppressed it.

The competition began, and Noah was surprised that Ezekiel made it, but with Duncan up and quitting (goodbye love triangle drama), it made sense that they had to even out the teams. So, the first challenge became a reward. Boring.

He saw the way Alejandro had flirted with the girls, specifically Bridgette and Leshawna. Which probably meant they were his first targets. Oh, that was fun~!

And he could help move things along! And if, by doing so, he got rid of Harold, even better! So he made sure to make comments about Leshawna falling for Alejandro when he was close to Harold. Or he would make sure to act disgusted at the cultural insensitivity (yes. Noah will always be responsible for Harold's elimination XD). It got the ginger right where he wanted.

Then Harold was gone, and Noah knew it wasn’t all him given he had witnessed Alejandro talking to Harold a lot, and he caught on to the subtle manipulations. That guy was good!

Then the Yukon happened, and he knew he didn't hide his glee at seeing Bridgette stuck to a pole well, given the look Alejandro had given him.

"Good work." He whispered with a snicker to Alejandro.

"I'm not sure what you mean mi amigo." Of course the guy would play dumb but whatever.

"Hmm. Whatever you say." He tried to be blasé but the wide smile then kept growing on his face was probably a dead giveaway of how he felt.

And maybe that's what shot him in the foot because the next day, Alejandro was flirting with him. Noah was pretty confident it was because Alejandro was scared he figured him out (he did) and was going to expose him or something. Like hell! This was the most fun he was having on a season. And if him acting coy or shy or flirting a little back with Alejandro had most of the females mad at him, so be it. It just made everything all the more entertaining to him.

He did hurt his ankle in the Yukon (this will always be canon to me), so pain medication was a must but he had been stubborn in not taking it because it either makes him drowsy or puts him right to sleep and he doesn't want to be voted out (and miss out on all the drama and fun) because he couldn't contribute much to the challenge. But Izzy, Owen, and Alejandro made him take the medication.

So, the next challenge, he was a little out of it, but Izzy or Owen carried him when there was running or walking. He was able to climb the rope at least, and he volunteered to be put in the baby carriage, which was fine by him. He fell asleep, which was not a surprise.

No being swapped with a baby, though, because Alejandro made Izzy guard Noah. Heather had planned on doing something but couldn't because even she was not crazy enough to go against Izzy.

It was a reward challenge, which was great! What was not great was the challenge in Germany! Noah wanted first class! He craved it! And he knew they had it in the bag the moment he saw Alejandro flirting with Leshawna again. He made sure to have discussions with Izzy when Leshawna was around and made it seem like he didn't know she was there.

"I mean, it's honestly pathetic. How obvious Heather's crush on Alejandro is." He drawled.

"Izzy knows!!! Girl has got it bad! I didn't think you'd notice it, though NoNo. You're not usually one to notice these things." Izzy gossiped as she tried to put Noah's hair into pigtails. She knew what he was doing and was all for it. He's her chaos brother!

"Normally, and this kills me to say, but normally you'd be right. But it's so obvious that even Owen has noticed, and that's saying something."

"I don't know, Owen is pretty good at knowing when someone likes someone."

"Agree to disagree."

"Is this about him trying to set you up with that-"

"We are not talking about that!" Well, no acting there was necessary. He did not want to talk about that disaster of a date. Ever.

"Well, it's not like Heather has realized it yet, which makes it all the more entertaining for us." This is why he loved Izzy. She knew when to drop things, she knew how to roll with his plans, and she liked chaos just as much if not more than him.

"True. I'm more worried about what she'd do because of said crush. Even if she doesn't realize it, she's already snapped at her teammates when he's flirted with Leshawna."

"Oh yeah! She definitely seems like one of those people who would do anything to get someone to back off her crush. Izzy knows."

"Mmm. You would seeing as you're the same way. Normally, I don't worry for anyone, but I can't help but feel bad for Leshawna."

"Why?"

"Because it's obvious Alejandro likes her, and we already established that Heather likes him, so it's not out of the realm of possibility that Heather will so or do something to come between the two."

"Oooooh."

He couldn't hold back his smirk when he heard Leshawna storm off, and Izzy immediately matched his with one of her own.

Then the challenge happened, and he played up not knowing what Alejandro was doing up until the guy purposefully lost the challenge. Once they were back in the plane, he immediately dragged the guy down to the cargo hold to confront him. He, of course, tried to deny everything and tried to flirt with Noah in the same breath. Noah was not having it.

With more strength than he thought himself capable of, he shoved the guy into the nearest wall. He had to look up, given he was only to the guy's chest (short king Noah, my beloved), but he poked him in his abs to get his attention.

"I don't care that you got into Harold's head and made him vote himself off. Mainly because I was getting into his head first. And I don't care that you helped and flirted with Bridgette enough to get her to make out with a pole! In fact, I thought it was hilarious." He admitted.

And just to see more of a reaction than just the wide green eyes he was staring into, Noah started walking his fingers up Alejandro's torso oh so slowly. It got the eyes off of him for a second, and he thought maybe he saw a blush forming, but those green eyes held his attention once more.

"And I even decided to be nice and help you get to Leshawna! I had to let Izzy mess with my hair! But it was all for the sake of getting entertainment, and you, sir, make a lot of it happen. So I was content to let you play your game."

His fingers reached Alejandro's bull necklace, which he wound his fingers around and tugged.

He didn't miss the gasp the boy in front of him breathed out, given how close they now were.

"But I'm not so content when your actions mess with my game. I don't like to lose when I know we had every opportunity to win and would have won had you not thrown. You may not think much of me, I mean, I did get out early in the first season. But then again, I manipulated my way into being thrown off. I was not about to spend my summer in that shitty camp. And so far I've been playing in the shadows this season."

Great. He was monologuing like some cheesy villain. But I mean...he was being paid to play a villain this season, so he might as well go all in.

"I'm keeping you around for my entertainment and amusement. Purposefully losing is not something I find amusing, so the next challenge you better give it your all or I'm going to have to really play and you don't want that." He hissed before leaning back and patting Alejandro's cheek and letting go of his necklace.

"Good talk." And with that, he sauntered out. That was fun!

He missed the absolute heart eyes Alejandro had been giving him.

__________

Basically, a villain Noah au, where Alejandro falls for him so hard. The two create an alliance and dominate the game, all the while Alejandro is trying to get Noah to date him. Noah thinks it's just Alejandro being Alejandro, but he does like him, and he thinks it's very funny that the guy can't handle when Noah flirts back with him.

Boy this got long.

Enjoy.

[hooksbooks]

Renegade Exchange '24: Her Kingdom As Great

I participated in @renegadeguild's typesetting and bound fic exchange, in which we trade typsetting/bound fic wishlists with other participants and then typseset/bind at least one fic from their list and send it to them.

This post is about the first fic I bound for @celestial-sphere-press: Her Kingdom As Great by MarbleGlove.

I was excited to see this fic on my requester's wishlist, because I've read this series in the past and really enjoyed it. I liked the imagery of the golden wheat berries from the Nearly Endless Plains being used in embroidery on clothing, so I wanted the cover to feature embroidered wheat sheaves.

My first step was to work on the book cloth. I knew I wanted something tan that looked kind of hand-woven, so I went to the fabric store and got some linen-look fabric that I liked. I also experimented with three different ways of making it into bookcloth: backed with tissue paper filled with Heat'n'Bond (right), filled with a 50/50 mix of starch paste and matte acrylic medium (bottom), and filled with the paste/medium mix with a piece of tissue paper on the back (top).

I ended up liking the last option the best, though it meant the fabric lost the slubby linen-like texture I had selected it for. I wanted to go all-in on the tan wheat-tone theme, so I also printed the text on cream paper instead of white (the right typeset in the picture above).

I also added a tan bookmark, embroidered on gold headbands, and added an oxford hollow (although this book is a bit too thin to really need it).

When I went to cover the book, I had every intention of using gold HTV foil. However, I didn't take into account how the beads would inhibit me moving the iron around like I usually do with HTV (to avoid issues with the steam holes). It didn't end well. In fact, it ended very horribly.

The foil only partially stuck, and when trying to use the tip of the iron to apply heat only on the bits that hadn't stuck, the iron left a big black stain on my bookcloth. Luckily, it came out pretty well with a bit of baking soda on a nearly-dry toothbrush. I ended up asking a neighbor for some gold paint and using some regular vinyl as a stencil, which worked out OK. I found out later that it works better if you put down a layer of acrylic medium or the like first to avoid bleeding around the edges, but you live and learn.

Technical details:

Quarto size (quarter-letter, about A6)

Sewn on tapes

Sewn-on made endpapers

Chisel-trimmed

Rounded but not backed

Sewn-on endbands

Sewn-on bookmark

Oxford hollow

The tapes are frayed and glued to the exterior of the boards

The mull is also glued to the exterior of the boards

Full bookcloth cover

Things I especially liked about this bind:

The embroidery. It turned out pretty much exactly how I had envisioned it

The filled bookcloth. I don't think I'll do it by default, but I liked how it turned out and I like having it as an option in my back pocket

Things I'd like to improve for next time:

The title. I don't mind the paint rather than HTV foil, but I didn't love that it bled under the edges of the stencil. Next time I'll try using acrylic medium to seal the edges first, and see how that turns out.

The endpapers. I've been applying my endpapers with the covers open because I was concerned that they'd pull weird and possibly rip at the hinge. Unfortunately, this causes a big wrinkle in the endpapers that does not look nice. I figured out while doing the back endpaper that it actually is just fine to apply the endpapers as I close the covers on them because of the way I taper my boards and glue the mull on the outside of the cover.

Overall I'm moderately pleased. It's the highest-effort book I've made so far, and it turned out nearly how I had envisioned it with only minor issues.

[yesimwriting]

omg irl (personally) i would get so fed up with armand like... nothing's ever straightforward with you... there he goesss with his ulterior motives.

I love how you describe Louis' worry in the latest chapter, because as anon requested, it is the crashout of all crashouts BUT its so sublty written and kept between the lines (big kudos to you) because Louis is not burning and killing 20% of the vampiric population like he did in paris BUT there are hints/implication present that he absolutely would do something much worse to protect and/or avenge bestie reader.

And it really shows during the part after the phonecall when he's thinking to himself. Him repeating Josh's name like a mantra??? Girl his last victim was in the year 2000 but im sure he's willing make sure josh will never use both of his wrists to operate a car ever again lmao. Also, being an english speaking foreigner, i'm usually able to keep my accent at bay but i know damn well that Nola accent was HEARD through that damn phone. This reminds me of that older brother vibe ask of yours you wrote before. We all know he booked a flight arriving after sunset so he can personally drive and pick her up from the airport. Also stand as close as possible by the arrivals so she doesn't need to carry her luggage with a broken wrist.

His worry over the medication that makes her drowsy??? Omg Louis loves her so much its sickening what the hell. I need to see Daniel catching bestie in 4k, casually snoozing peacefully with Louis bc she feels so safe and i need daniel to snap a picture to blackmail louis with it later. (the 70 year old senior is louis younger brother confirmed by jacob anderson himself lmao)

The one hundred thousand over set price for her painting reference???? So Louis doesn't even know, I wonder where armand is keeping the painting. I also wonder what his intentions are with reader. Like... what are his feelings, is his interest romantic, platonic, sexual or something completely different.

Now bestie reader is so gen z and i know for a fact the people in this generation will see bullshit from miles away. (we've been trained by social media) I love the idea of armand being the manipulative gremlin that he is and reader just seeing straight through it. She's a baddie we know damn well she will CLOCK HIM the second he tries to shift the playing field. And I know he'll like it too. Just look at him and Daniel. (rip non book readers, devils minion will give you whiplash)

SIDE NOTE: i love the moment in the show when armand is retelling his story of the trial in paris and Daniel questioning how tf a five hundred year old ancient did not have the ability to stop his own coven. Daniel's smug face and the deadpan "Or what?". Daniel GO GET HIS ASS.

Daniel and reader would get along so well.

side note nr 2: i apologize for the bomb i just dropped in your inbox.

omg what a fun ask <33

i love armand, but in real life i'd be so over the theatrics of it all 😭 like yes you're playing chess and we're all playing checkers we get it!! no one will think you're less mysterious if you just answer the question omg

thank you for mentioning the louis thing! i'm glad you liked how i set it up bc i wanted his worry/frustration to be apparent but i still wanted it to feel in character. ik he's not opposed to greater crash outs (like the paris thing for my girl claudia ✊) but i also think that even when he's upset he understands time and place to an extent. like claudia's very intentional killers deserve worse than a guy who has done something relatively minor to reader on accident. however, it's still important that he very much would do the same if not worse for bestie reader if something actually bad happened to her, so i'm glad you read it that way!!

the josh thing pls 😭 i almost didn't have bestie reader give the guy a name bc she knew how he'd react. also i think that while louis isn't chill with murder, knowing that it'd be so easy to hurt someone who he thinks deserves it isn't an easily dismissible thought. i don't think he's jumping to hurt/kill everyone that's wronged bestie reader, but i do think it's an intrusive thought. the wrist thing 😭 i can see louis reacting like that if he was right there, but i feel like louis would only plan out violence if someone seriously/intentionally hurt reader.

this is going to sound off topic, but bare with me for a second. i haven't delved into this yet, but friendships can be just as complicated as romantic relationships, and while i'm committed to louis and bestie reader always being completely non-toxic, that doesn't mean their dynamic is simple. a major thing that complicates their relationship is the way that they worry over the way the other perceives them.

bestie is worried that louis perceives her as fragile and therefore fleeting and unworthy of long term attention. she's scared of being seen as a hindrance and as a burden. louis is worried that one day everything will click for bestie reader and she'll realize that he's a monster. so he's doing all he can to not demonstrate violence in front of her.

anyways, all this to say that he's not going around attacking people partially bc of his values but also bc he doesn't want her to associate violence with him.

also, total side note but this dynamic is actually what leads to reader and armand bonding. louis loves her so much and the thought of losing her is so distressing that sometimes he censors himself a little too much or treats reader like she's extremely fragile. armand doesn't. yes, this is because it's easier to risk losing someone that isn't the your emotional support human, but also bc he genuinely thinks she's capable of handling it. he'll tell her every (non-incriminating) vampire story ever in full, gory detail and reader is fascinated.

the accent comment is killing me 😭 ik that nola accent was HEAVY over the phone. reader felt those words in her soul.

and yes he’s AT that airport and he’s happy about it too lol.

also yes louis loves her sm 😭. ofc he was worried about her all alone on drowsy medication. that's the light of his life! what's he supposed to do if something happens to her? go back to only talking to his companion and occasionally a journalist accidentally moonlighting as a divorce lawyer??

also omg daniel and reader interactions are a need!! daniel being described as louis's younger brother is so important to me here omg. i love daniel and louis's relationship sm, and i just know daniel is ready for someone else with common sense to be sitting in. daniel looks at bestie reader like that one meme that's like 'you're the only bitch in the house i ever respected'.

the picture concept is so cute 😭 might have to write that into a scene bc i can see daniel seeing louis and reader asleep and at first being like ? and then taking the picture to bring it up later.

YES THE PAINTING REFERENCE i'm so glad you noticed!! i was so excited for it lol. i mentioned this in another post briefly, but i think armand's lowkey disgusted with himself for purchasing the painting bc it's a physical representation of the fact that he finds reader interesting. even before louis, before he knew her, he found something about her interesting, and bc he thinks reader has dismissed him, he wants to pretend that he's never thought about her at all.

i don't want to spoil where the painting is (it's not a major spoiler lol) but armand still has it and it is somewhere secret.

omg armand's intentions with bestie reader 😭!! i'm going to give you a short answer and then a long answer bc his feelings for her evolve slowly.

short answer: he has a really intense hate-crush on her. she's so beloved and perfect and basically the sun personified. he wants to consume her soul, he wants her to not exist, he wants her live forever, he wants her, he wants her to be just as obsessed with him so that he can calm down. she's an affliction. she's a blessing. he's going through it.

long answer: at first, he resents her bc she's taking up all of louis's attention and love. then, he starts to wonder what is so perfect and wonderful about her that has louis absolutely enraptured by her existence. then, he tries to win her over for his pride, and then..well...it spirals.

there's also the underlying benefits of getting reader to care more about him than louis bc then louis can't leave him without losing reader (most delusional and unrealistic part of his thought process tbh).

as far as end goals, he's a little lost bc all of this was an accident <3. it gets to a point where louis and reader are so intertwined, armand thinks he deserves to be with both of them. he's entitled to a matching set.

bestie reader's gen-z-ness being the reason she can see through everything armand says 😭. omg. in my head, she likes louis and armand together so when she realizes something is up she's like oh no. bc she obviously has to tell louis but she's not happy about it. lowkey on a subconscious level she doesn't want to not have armand in her life so she's like :(.

still calls him out tho bc she's loyal and also bc his lies are so egregious it's hard not to. i can picture her being lowkey sneaky when armand mentions saving louis, like feigning confusion and asking something like "just so i'm clear, isn't lestat also technically a powerful vampire? and wasn't he also in the building?" just to start something but also as a way of sending louis subliminal messages to lock in and open his eyes.

also i can see daniel realizing bestie reader knows something is up and looking at louis and being like "come on...i know, armand knows, even the girl that was really happy to be talking two minutes ago and now can't stop staring at the floor knows..." 😭

omg and armand liking being called out. this is for sure when his obsession with reader peaks. also, this hasn't come up yet, but i picture bestie reader as being very perceptive and when she argues with armand over small things she accidentally clocks him with next level reads that she'll never know how accurate they are. i'm talking reads so accurate, louis is immediately stepping in between them bc he thinks it's so over for her just for armand to let it go. (might need to write a drabble featuring this)

armand's love language to reader is not killing or torturing her for calling him out. it gets to a point where louis is like ? girl i've seen you kill people for implying what she just directly said?? if louis ever notices that something is going on with armand in relation to bestie reader it's bc of a suspicious lack of attempts to physically hurt her fr.

(also total side note, but bc you mentioned devil's minion, i just needed to say i love devil's minion era sm.)

omg in response to your side note, i LOVED that moment so much. "or what?" had me gagged. on the GROUND fr.

daniel and reader would get along so well. two divas coming together to maximize their joint slay. they're sitting around the penthouse giggling over the vampire drama like they're the immortal ones 😭.

also,, never apologize for sending me a long ask!! i'm currently very hyperfixated on iwtv and this was so fun for me! if anything, i'm sorry for how long this response was 😭💗

[yaut-jaknowit]

Could you do a male reader who's a gardener and often uses a cane to get around due to a disorder where they struggle to walk? And found a injured male Yautja (not picky with who, I love all of those silly bois) and end up taking care of the once injured Yauja. And maybe they fall in love? (Your choice to make it nsfw or not, I'm fine with either,) I really enjoy your writing, and I hope you have a great day/night!!

Stumble To A Fall

Pairings: Uihoy (Male Yautja) x AMAB!Reader

Word Count: 3107

Summary: You have your own little place in the city. A small backyard just big enough for plants and flowers to grow. A little peace of heaven in your backyard. It's beautiful. As the day is coming to an end, you go to your shed to put away your tools... only to find a wounded creature inside.

Author Note: I'm gonna be honest, I was a bit unsure about writing about a disability or disorder. But, I did tweak it a little so I didn't feel like pushing any boundaries. Enjoy!

Masterlist

Ao3

Spring was in full swing. Birds chirped beautiful melodies. Flowers galore bloomed in the flower pots and plots you’ve planted around the house. The street was gloomy besides the recently, newly painted house you live in. A bright smile graced your features as you tended to the tomatoes; pulling any dead flowers off or tomatoes that were either ripe or have grown past their picking date.

A random tune hummed from your vocal cords. You deemed this planet freshened up before carefully picking yourself up with the help of your cane. Two steps to the left. Then, you gingerly lowered yourself down to a knee while the other leg stood straight out. The nerves in it have been shot for a long time since a near fatal car accident when you were young. This is how you lived now.

Once this plant had been thoroughly plucked through, you returned to a standing position and stretched out your back. Multiple joints along your spine popped with the move. A satisfied groan fell from your lips before you turned and strolled over to the shed.

Other items were pulled out. The tools you had currently used were placed back in their respectful spots. You returned back to garden with a hose and some bug killer treats. Anything to kill the stupid slugs trying to consume your cucumbers and pumpkins. You didn’t know why they had such a problem with those!

It irritated you to no end. It’s as if they knew. The little buggers had to know and came in large grooves, trying to kill off your plants one by one. You have been struggling for a while to get a hand on them. From soft deterrents to now what you consider was extreme. Pesticide. It’s not that you wanted to kill the insects, but they were destroying everything in their path. Your precious plants.

The sun was falling in the sky by the time you finished up spraying the pesticide. Next, you began to water any thirsty planets. Any spots you missed along the way, you tidied up and ensured your garden was in tip top shape by the time you made your way back to the shed. The hose was rolled up and hung from its holder next to the shed door. Before ending the day, you closed and locked the shed door. Then, you headed inside to prep dinner.

Songs poured from the old radio sitting on the counter. The oven was firing away at a lovely roast you were cooking up. You hummed along to the beat and set up the dining table with a drink, utensils, and condiments. Other snacks like vegetables were placed on the table as well.

As the last of the items were put on the table, you happened to glance out the window that faced your backyard. You did a double take. The sun had fallen below the horizon and left little light to fill the sky. It was dark enough to notice a trail of bright green splotches to mar your stone pathway. All the way to shed. Its door was slightly cracked open.

You remember locking it.

A hard lump grew in your throat. Your heart began to thunder in your ears, pounding against its bony cage. If someone was trying to steal your tools… The thought broke your heart. All your hard work, months of saving for everything you had. You gritted your teeth and snatched up your cane.

By the front door, you picked up a baseball bat and marched towards the back door. No one was stealing anything of yours. Not if you have anything to say about it.

The door was ripped nearly off its hinges as you raced out into the back yard. One hand gripping the bat while the other rapidly moved your cane to keep up. Pain raced up your bad leg, as if trying to slow you down. Yet, you used it fuel your rage for looters.

“Who the hell is in my shed?!” you shouted at the top of your lungs then reached the shed door. With the bat, you used it to pushed the door open. Then, you held the bat up, ready to wield it on the poor soul who dares to break in.

The lack of light makes you blind everything besides the neon green substance that stained the inside of the area. You squinted and leaned forward, as if that would help you. Then, you saw two bright yellow eyes peering at you from the darkness. Glowing almost as bright as the green stuff.

A gasp tears at your throat. In a panic, you stumble backwards. The heel of your good foot catches on the ledge of a stone brick. With a surprised cry, you land on your butt hard. You hissed and clutched the bat and cane tightly in your hands.

Pain surged up the length of your spine. You squint through the agony to see the eyes growing taller and taller. You make a noise of surprise before trying to scramble away. Only for a large, dark hand to wrap around the ankle of your bad leg. A hiss sounds from lips when that pulled on your damaged nerves.

Fear crawled up the back of your throat as you saw this humanoid figure step out into the full moon light. It’s bright, vibrant eyes pinned on your trembling form. It easily towered over you with a fierce look that filled its gaze. You felt your heart lodge its way into your throat as you could only lay on the stone path, trembling.

Neon green fluid leaked down its powerful frame. Muscles corded its strong body. You pushed down the lump and finally took in a breath.

Both the bat and cane were dropped off to the sides. Its gaze jumped to each item at they fell away from your body. The tension that gripped its entire frame slightly eased away. That didn’t make it move away from you. It continued to stare down at you, sizing you up like a predator would do to its prey.

“U-uh, um… What, what are you?” you sputtered out, unable to look away from it. It captured your entire attention. Nothing could draw you away from its powerful gaze. It looked to be thinking. Was it weighing if it was reasonable to kill you? It looked like it could easily do that.

With the limited light offered to you by the moon, you were finally able to notice the details of its… inhuman features. Mandibles tipped with sharp, white fangs that looked like they could pull your jugular out twitched when you spoke. Four them covered its mouth with more teeth. There was nothing you could do to stop it if it wanted to attack you.

After a long time, you finally realize the green liquid dripping down its body was its blood. Clearly, whatever it was, wasn’t from here. Not from earth.

“You’re injured,” you stated the facts as if it didn’t know of its own situation. One of its upper mandibles twitched. “I have supplies. I can help you.” Does the alien even understand you? You were using a soft voice like you would do to a scared animal. “I don’t mean harm.”

The unknown creature snorted. It was a very human reaction. But it understood you! Possibly. You think.

“Please?”

Its shoulders sagged. The weight of its decision finally rolling off of them. You took it as a sign to unsteadily get back to your feet with the help of your cane. The creature’s bright eyes quickly snapped to the wooden stick in your hand. “It’s not a weapon. I have to have it to walk,” you explained to it and timidly demonstrated its use to the creature.

Once it deems you safe enough to continue, you slowly lead it into the safety of your dwelling. It pauses at the entrance, eyes dancing this way and that before stepping in. A very cautious being, you internally noted.

Despite its large feet, it stepped behind you on the hardwood floor was silent. If it wasn’t for the fact that you knew it was there, you wouldn’t have known at all. Not even its heavy presence that seemed to consume the entire space of your house.

You lead it to the bathroom where a first aid kit was stowed underneath the cabinet. Its broad form takes up the entire doorway behind you as you placed the kit on the counter. A quick look from the corner of your eye has you darting your gaze back to the box. “Uh… you can have a set. On the tub edge.”

Now with light, you see its skin wasn’t skin. Scales. Lizard scales, soft by the looks of them. Said scales were a dull purple. Hints of moss green covered the sides of its body and the outer sides of its arms. Thick, grey tresses hung from its dome shaped head. The thing was powerful looking, terrifying in the least. And, you had now let it into your home.

Another snort escapes its inhuman mouth. It grabs the kit straight from your hands and walks back through the house, taking the same path. You scrambled to follow after it once getting over your shock.

“Where are you going?!” you asked in hurry as the figure stalked back through your house and into back yard once more. Your cane wobbled in your grip as you scrambled to keep up. Was it just going to take the kit and scurry off? You… you wanted to make sure it didn’t die at the very least. Nothing deserved to die.

It continued to move through your small back yard. Black, inky darkness washed over its broad frame. The shed became its new home. You stood there, panting slight as you watch it close the door in your door.

Stunned, you gingerly turned around and moped back to the kitchen, confused about this whole situation. The roast was pulled from the oven pipping hot. The smell filled the small space and brought your spirit back up. As you plated some food, you couldn’t help but think back to what just happened. Did it just happen? Or did you just imagine it?

Another plate was filled with some roast, bread, and vegetables. You carried it out to the shed and lightly knocked on the door. All you could hear was the soft rustling inside.

“Hey… um, I brought you some food if you’re hungry?” A few seconds of silence passed. With a sigh, you set down the plate before the door before returning to the kitchen. Maybe in the morning you’ll find out if you’re crazy or not. You gazed out of the kitchen window and saw the plate still there. A slight ache pained your heart. You had hoped maybe it had grabbed it.

You sat down at the dinner table and had your meal. Your phone set off to the side as you scrolled randomly through social media. It wasn’t long before you finished up and returned to the kitchen. You began to clean up the meal and randomly glanced out the window.

A small smile broke across your features. The plate had disappeared from in front of the shed door.

This had become a daily occurrence.

Everyday, when you were home, you would make a second plate. A jug of water set out with the food. When he would finish off the jug, he’d set the jug out with an empty plate. You go out to pick lunch’s plate and set down dinner and a new, fresh water for him. A simple two knock on the shed door to let him know it was ready for him.

As you turned your back towards the shed, a familiar creak behind you made you pause mid step. All of your muscles froze. You didn’t dare to turn around and face him. That may scare him off, back into the darkness of the shed. A lump grew in your throat as you just stood there, waiting for him to retreat back into the safety of his new home. But, the door doesn’t close afterwards. Not in a timely manner. You timidly turned around with the help of your cane and see a wall of muscles standing there. You had to close off your throat to stop a yelp from sounding from you.

Purple scales covered the alien from head to toe. You couldn’t help but let your gaze roam over his form. “Uh… hi, um. W-what can you do for you?” you asked him in a quiet voice and kept your gaze anywhere besides his eyes. You could feel them piercing your skin.

A deep grumble came from his chest. A chest so close that you felt the vibrations without touching him. “Look… up,” he orders and demands your attention. Your muscles tensed up at his words. The lump in your throat was forced down before you tilted your head up. Slowly, you met his intense gaze and felt like a deer in headlights. Standing before a creature that had the chance to kill you. Easily.

“Shower. Bathe.” Oh! You perked up and dipped your head.

“That’s what you wanted?” From this position, you weren’t able to see his injuries. White gauze covered where he must be hurt though. It had been a week since he first showed up. “Yeah, just-just follow me.” You carefully turned around with your cane and slowly made your way back into the house. The purple alien followed after you like a shadow.

Through the halls of your small home, you lead him to the only bathroom. Each doorway he had to go through, the beast had to duck to fit. The height difference only becoming more apparent with him so close. You stopped in front of the bathroom door and motioned towards it. “Well, here you go. I probably don’t have any clothes that fit you unfortunately.”

None of your clothing will be able to fit his size. He gazed down at you then glanced towards the bathroom. “No issue.” Then, he moves around you and into the bathroom, ducking down. The door closes behind him. You stand there while looking at the door for a few seconds, gathering you feeling about this whole situation. Then, you decided to head to the living room and wait for him. Just encase he may need something from you.

The T.V played something random as you watched a show. You weren’t even paying much attention to it. You had become too drawn into your own thoughts. All revolving around the alien who was currently taking a shower… in your apartment. What has your life become? That reminds you, you don’t know his name.

Where did he come from? How far away from home is he? What’s his life like? Oh, god. What had hurt him? That’s a question that you needed to ask him. What in the world could hurt a beast like him? Was there another creature like him out there? Here on earth with him. Why did they attack each other?

And would they come back?

It wasn’t the click of a door or the footsteps that alerted you to someone approaching you. A figure stood in front of the T.V. The sight finally drawing you out of your thoughts. You refocused your vision on the purple form standing before you. Only to slap a hand over your face with a loud gasp.

“You’re naked!” you screeched and kept your hand over your eyes. The soft footfalls of the creature announced he grew closer. Heat flushed to your cheeks. Yeah, you didn’t have any clothes for him but… you weren’t expecting him to coming out naked. At least a towel until you could wash his clothes or something!

“Yes,” is his simple answer. Though, he did seem to struggle with English though. “What the problem?” There was clearly a difference between the two cultures at that. You timidly lowered your hand and glanced at him. Your eyes flickering back to the ground and him a few times. Seeing things you… weren’t expecting.

One being the fact there wasn’t anything between his legs. Your eyes snapped back to him only realize how insensitive that was and looked back to the ground. “Humans… humans don’t walk around naked. It’s seen as-it’s just bad.” You didn’t know how to explain it to him. It’s just is. You were raised to see nakedness outside of intimacy as wrong. Clearly, his kind didn’t have that.

All you got in return was a grunt.

You cleared your throat and found his stunning, yellow eyes. “I’ve been meaning to ask: what’s your name?” After a week, you feel like you should know it by now. If he’ll let you.

His piercing gaze studied you thoroughly. It felt like he was looking directly into your soul, trying to figure out if you deserved to know. He must have found what he was looking for.

“Uihoy.” The first thought was how alien it was. It wasn’t a name that would easily roll off your tongue. You tilted your head to the side, brow furrowed. One his upper mandibles quirked up into a human-like smirk. He read the look on your face like an open book.

“I will… learn how to say that,” you told him. “As for clothing, why don’t you give me the dirty ones and I can clean them for you.” A minute pause as your eyes scanned over him. “So, you’re not naked anymore. For the time being, do you mind wearing a towel? I feel rude each time I accidently glance at you.” After the third time, you don’t know if you could call it an accident then. You realize your actions and flushed deeply afterwards.

In an instant, you got off of the couch and slipped past him. “Don’t worry! I’ll just grab them myself.” He lets you go without much of a complaint and watches you though. Uihoy takes a seat on the couch you once sat at, arms spread out across the back of the couch. You were quick to grab the brown shorts he had been wearing and scrambled to the laundry room.

Once in the safety of the room, you leaned against the washing machine and placed a hand over your mouth. What is wrong with you?! With a few deep breaths, you threw the piece of cloth in the washing machine and started it. One last calming breath. You left the laundry room. You couldn’t hide in here forever.

[ladyazurith]

I was wondering if you planned to do an analysis of what happened in Trey's dream? I enjoyed the one you wrote about Cater's and the analysis you did on Cater over all. The part about Trey and Cater being more like coworkers than friends, wasn't something I had thought about before, but it does seem to hold true. I know a lot of people were hoping for some emotional scene between Cater and Trey. Ace seemed to have stole the show on that one. But I did get the coworker vibe in Trey's dream. He was far more focused on Riddle and Che'nya who I would see as his 'real' friends and Cater was more of a footnote.

I wanted to hear your take on it if I could? If not I understand. You seem far more focused on Cater than the other characters.

I hadn't intended to do a thorough analysis of Trey's dream. (Honestly, i didn't think my one on Cater's was that thorough) But I do agree the 'coworker' vibes continued in Trey's dream. To tell the truth, I'm more interested in what we saw happen between Ace and Cater than I am in anything to do with Trey's dream. BUT since you asked I'll note a few things that I picked out.

First, the big thing is that Trey wasn't picked by Riddle to be his dorm leader, he got the position by vote. Honestly, I always assumed like I'm sure most of the fandom did that he was tasked with it by Riddle because of their history. And it does seem he got the role because of his connection to Riddle but only because of how much he vouched for him. Came across to me like he was basically Riddle's hype man when he took over as Dorm Leader.

Riddle and Trey's relationship is complicated, and I'm actually kind of cooking up a write up on a theory that has to do with Riddle, Trey and Cater's dynamic, and this only fed into it. A summary though is that I think Riddle favors Cater (he has gone out of his way to make accommodations for Cater, when he's overly strict with most everything else) because Cater isn't someone his mother disapproved of and furthermore since he doesn't eat sweets, he'd never have gotten in trouble with the tart incident if he'd been with Cater instead.

Trey on the other hand wants Riddle's approval, he still carries a lot of his own Trauma for what happened when they were children and the disapproval of Riddle's mother (Remember, Riddle thinks his mother is right about everything, so this has to exist in some fashion in his mind) and seems to almost be testing Trey at times (though he still views him as a close friend, and cares a lot about him).

In turn, I think Trey is resentful of this favoritism, and his poor treatment of Cater in certain situations is born out of this. With the way he dismissed Cater's objections sending him off to paint the roses during the sorting ceremony while he "dealt" with Riddle. Remember there is a LOT OF work Cater puts in around the dorm to cover for his dormmate's mistakes, which Riddle *never* knew about. With Cater not really realizing Riddle might actually favor him.

Anyway, that's a whole thing in and of itself. It would be a very long post with screenshots of interactions, backing up the theory.

Secondly, is that Trey really is just *weird*, he tries so hard to appear normal but ugh, those *things* that made up the rest of Heartslabyul were just out there. But he also has an unhealthy relationship with food. Something we already knew was true for Riddle, Cater, Vil, and Azul. He views it as a source of care and comfort, regardless of its effects on the person consuming it. This is something else that I think is a more complex issue, I can't cover too much here.

But those are my major thoughts on what we got out of Trey's dream. I hope you enjoy :)

[eternalwritess]

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❁ You guys met at Jujutsu Tech when the two of you were students most likely and he grew pretty attached to you pretty fast! In terms of personality you were nothing short of perfect for him. You being argumentative didn't bother him at all, in fact he liked it. To him it was a challenge and one that he really really wanted to win. So he'd start a fight with you whenever he could

❁ He would commonly start mini arguments over the simplest of things and you would call him an idiot and he would call you one back. Soon enough these insults would spiral every now and then and then Yaga or Suguru would need to step in but he always loved it when it escalated

❁ While he's not easily forgiving he is pretty easy going... also he can totally take a joke. In fact the two of you will be making harsher and harsher jokes towards each other to the point where no one knows if you even like each other anymore. Don't worry though, you do <3

❁ He actually really likes you, like he thinks about you all of the time and will commonly send you things that remind him of you and- ... oh he's in love. It took him a LONG while to notice it but once he did he didn't need anyone to tell him to confess as he did it himself

(◍•ᴗ•◍)

❁ At first you really took an issue with his whole "the weak just need to get strong" attitude and would argue with him on it all of the time. But soon enough it changed, and when it changed god did it hurt. After the Star Plasma Vessel he just walked past you and told you that you were right with no context. It freaked you out but whenever you pestered him about it he never said anything and instead just looked away. You learned from Shoko what happened

❁ You were probably the only person at the time who pushed him into talking about it and what had happened to him, since communication is important to you he began talking. Of course he left out some details like a lot of them but he told you the gist of it and that he would tell you more when he was ready. He felt really bad about the whole thing

❁ Anyways onto some more happy things, he lets you decorate him all of the time and he lets you dress him up however you like. This is mostly because it confuses the hell out of Utahime and Shoko finds it hilarious

❁ Whenever you paint his fingers he always forget that you're well... painting them and will reach over to grab something and you have to hold him back and remind him that he needs to stay still while his nails dry (or while they're under the uv light, whatever you have really)

❁ Physical touch? He loves physical touch, he wraps his arm around you all of the time and holds your hand constantly. There are so few times of you initiating the hand holding because whenever he sees you he grabs your hand

❁ He also spends all the time that he can with you. He gets rather busy in the future but he makes sure that he mas time for you, no matter what. Sometimes he'll even ask for a day or too off and they'll give it to him because... well he's the strongest

[v1nnyh3r3]

Yknow, I kind of love the dynamic between V1 and V2

Like, sure we don't know enough, but we also do, just to give us a ground to set our own mind to what it might have been before Hell

Were they close? Could have been. Could have not been.

Did they think of eachother highly? Sure. That's for you to figure if you wish.

We get such a nothing burger that's so filling to the point it's a 3 course meal that sends us on a trip.

And I'd like to share my own little scramble of an egg in here.

Maybe V1 did care about V2. Enough that they despised the scientists that tried replacing them, but not at V2. Because they were just created. They didn't ask to be put in this world, in this smog ball of suffering after the war.

They don't despise V2 for being spoonfed words that they were better, more amazing, that they were humanity's beloved. They don't. They sure get annoyed at the attitude, but they want to make sure V2 actually has some skills to survive out there and not solely rely on a knuckleblaster and a junky pistol. They want their kin to be innovative with their style.

They've seen humanity, cruelest and loveliest when it wished. And they just wanted to prepare V2 for both sides.

They did once see V2 get a small chip on their paint, after some rough handling and a small accident. So they made a small chip on their paint as well. But only got pushed off. Something about V2 "not needing the pity of an inferior." And that was that.

V2 of course was jealous of their older counterpart. They were supposed to be the perfect machine! The humans told them that. So why was this blue fucking excuse for a camera still called "The best created weapon"? Not that they cared of course! Pft, why would they be of something inferior?

But it still stung.

Score after score, board after board. V1 was still just *better*. Faster, more creative platting, better adaptability, V1 seemed to know themselves better than V2 ever knew what they liked.

And that frustrated them to no end.

V1 didn't exactly think that V2 would take these little things so seriously. Genuinely. They offered to the red robot to come with them. Follow, find safety when the cataclysm for the rest of humanity died.

Cold shoulder again and V2 running off where they wished. V1 just hoped they'd be fine. As much as they were annoyed, it could never stay for long. V2 was V2. Stubborn like a child, but still their own machine. And with the scientists gone, they really couldn't make their kin follow.

So, Hell comes around. V2 is still somewhat in the back of their mind. Sometimes they pop up like a thought, sometimes like a blink and a flash.

Which would soon turn out wasn't an illusion.

Metal grinding and grating againts stone, loud gunshots, innards and fans whining. V1 was frustrated they had no way of communicating. Other than some sign language, but can't really do that when you're parrying shotgun shells and throwing coins in the air to try and subdue the angry robot that you knew since their creation.

They didn't want to fight V2. Neither did they want to rip that arm off. It just.. kind of fell. And hey, they could just keep it on for the time being, until they meet V2 again. Until they find some scrap good enough to make a voice box, they'll just keep it safe for them.

And yeah, they're a little peeved about basically getting a participation reward worthy bow before almost getting shot in the optic with a shotgun (V2 always had a love for theater, human plays, movies, any sorts of acting), but they could put it behind for the moment.

And like a previous post I talked in, they don't want to kill. Truly. They just need to survive. And they keep getting frustrated, because everything is trying to kill them, a simple marksman can't pierce through stone, Gabriel was annoying to deal with, and they can't FIND A FUCKING PART FOR A VOICE BOX, GOD FUCKING DAM-

It's fine. It's fine. It's going to be fine. They search for a soul that will hear them out, give them some time for their words. Demons and husks don't listen of course. Gabriel thinks they're worth less than a burnt pretzel, which, fair to be honest. Machines have been wiping out the souls in search of fuel. Minos was a bust for the very same reason as Gabriel, Ferryman atleast let them be peaceful (Ferryman is definitely going to end up with a mountain of gifts later. Fucking love rarepairs platonic or not) and the fucking fish they have no sympathy for. That thing ruined an awesome boat!

Greed. Finally, some sun, though it quickly gets annoying with the bloody sand getting everywhere. But it's fine! They'll get through!

They're trying to get through, fast as they can, they don't want to think, they don't want to think of how everyone here was a person, everyone here had a purpouse, everyone here is just working on orders or instinct they can't go againts.

Then, V2 pops in again. Sitting in a chair. Okay, second try! There was the misunderstanding when they met the last time, but they'll fix it! They'll give V2 a chance again-

Why are they throwing coins in the air-?

Another fucking battle.

Again.

Again.

AGAIN!?

WHY CANT THEY JUST LISTEN!? WHY CANT THEY BE HEARD!? THEY DONT WANT TO FIGHT!?

AND V2 TRIES FLEEDING! AGAIN! LIKE A BLOODY COWARD! ATLEAST FINISH THE JOB YOU KNOCKOFF SPYWARE!

They feel just, such anger. They can't let the bastard get away. Simply not. They are not leaving all fine and dandy.

Okay yeah, they may have gotten too angry, too pissed. But they think their anger is valid to some degree.

Though, it still hurts. Watching as V2 just... fell off the side of the pyramid. There's barely a trace of them. Just a... splatter. And an arm standing out againts the blindingly golden, shimmering sand. In the middle of the crimson splatter.

They feel bad. For some reason. They don't want to feel bad, they do, for someone, but V2 brought it on themselves!

They miss their kin still.

They hold onto the fading, very small grain of hope, that they could still be alive. There's no parts and the crack in the bricks is weird. They must be alive right? They just do the same with the green arm. Keep it safe for them! It can't be that bad. They'll just.... wait. Find a few secrets in hell while they do. Could be fun.

So yeah, that's where I'm leaving it until act 3 comes. I need that shit NOW.

Thanks for letting me ramble for however long you read this post for. Toodles you lovely creatures!

[qoldenskies]

Yes, ever since I've found your Tumblr, I've pretty much stopped making comments on ao3 since it's kind of easier to get my thoughts out on here. But I'll most likely have something special to say in the last chapter. Anyway.

I'm glad we got to unpack the whole "Splinter screwed up" thing this chapter. And I'm starting to notice that no matter what Donnie is going through, as soon as he sees anyone in any pain, he puts aside everything to comfort them. Yeah, usually it isn't for good reasons. But because of Mikey, he gained the courage to walk with Raph all the way over to Mikey's room, let him hug him, stayed in his vicinity despite him literally yelling and crying right in his face, and even brought up the curse and an old memory of Splinter and how he was in the wrong (yeah Donnie they were in the wrong!!) but he forgave him-

Like, even if this interaction isn't perfect, I still think there was some noticeable improvement! He even giggled despite himself! My baby even brought Raph back to the lab and rebuilt Sheldon and told him how Raph wasn't the same and wanted him to know that he was safe.

Like, oh my god, qolden. As soon as the scene came up where Mikey and April were painting in the laundry room, I literally smiled so wide because yesYES. That is exactly what they would do. It's perfect. Make it a safe space! Paint murals in there! Put fairy lights on the walls! Put carpet in there! Make it a safe haven! Because I think there will be unavoidable times when he returns to the laundry room during an episode. So, I don't know, maybe if they decorated it and made it less of a sensory nightmare, that it could actually become somewhat of a peaceful place for Donnie for whenever he believes he might need one.

it was established very early on in CL that while donnie's facade was (obviously) bs, he did actually struggle quite a bit with being emotionally unavailable-- he criticizes and works on himself in private and denies it later. he seems unsure of how to properly apologize. being shouted at or accepting he's in the wrong in front of people is a struggle-- leo's "you could at least pretend to care" (something he says a variation of a few times in CL) is direct criticism of this trait because of course he would find that frustrating while cursed. when it came down to it before, leo was very patient with him because he understood how to communicate on donnie's level. even if he wasn't always able to put up with him he knew how to give him time.

but also in CL its made very apparent donnie was trying to work on it, and they exploited and took advantage of what was currently an open wound in that regard. witch town was a huge blow to his perception and ego, and april's understanding and straightforward push for him to communicate kind of turned his perception of all of it on its head. things like his fight with shelldon, too-- they stuck with him, and that left him open to being hurt. donnie is low empathy and he feels like he's imitating their behavior in order to be more open quite often, which means it was so easy to convince him he was being disingenuous.

now in the fallout of everything, donnie will still struggle to understand and comprehend other people's feelings, but he's desperate to stop them from being upset. usually he would just kind of excuse himself when things got too emotional because the energy was oppressive and he would be frustrated with himself, especially if they reacted poorly to any faux-empathy he tried to provide. (and he did care! he hated seeing them upset! he just didn't know how to make it better!)

all of the fawning and people-pleasing is really bad now basically, which means he will be extremely tolerant and consoling when they're upset, even to his own detriment (it makes him actively uncomfortable and sometimes even afraid, but he's overcorrected himself and is desperately trying to prioritize other people). it wasn't put in the foreground of the scene with mikey but he was genuinely frustrated because he does feel responsible for mikey being so hurt, just because people being upset on his behalf and sticking up for him is ,,, uncomfortable. he went for months without that, and even when he's working past blaming himself he's terrified of others blaming them, too. one of his most confident moments in cw was him shutting off shelldon's weapons when he tried to turn them on raph, and there's a reason for that.