#i read the notes on my post and genuinely im all for it

[mezimraky]

i don't wanna get cursed with the popular post notes but someone should do a poll abt the creaking & enderman ship (is it yaoi? is it yuri? polycule with the warden? fourth secret fucked up thing?)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

I have to weigh in 'cause while I am definitely a service-top Erik truther, I do agree with the previous anon who said he could be a sub/top. I think his control freak personality becomes too much at times and he needs to CHILL OUT and relax a little, and the best way Charles can help him do that is by taking control from him in bed and ordering him about, but with Erik still 'topping' it lends the illusion of control while stripping the actual responsibility of decision-making from him.

the council's come to a Rather Unanimous Conclusion oh wow that was easy

[kohakhearts]

given the opportunity i could be approximately 500% more annoying about any of my creative projects. but unfortunately .my brain is soup,

[istherewifiinhell]

IS FLYING GENDERED?

On the masculine default, typifying gender in genre, and women as the other in the transformers cartoons.

question for the ages

once again i said back in the halcyon days of watching g1 (aka 5 months ago) i was like. Nooooo, decepticon is NOT a gender that's Silly. It's funny, but as a Read Of The Text, I thought it largely unneeded. (The concept came about, as a joke, involving dismissing the bad guys using the same language you would abt women (sexistly) that they're emotional [heh, flighty], vain, and shrill) after all. If in the 80s era there are 5 whole named/speaking woman tfs, its only ever gonna get better from here right? (<- booboo the fool)

anyway

Let's consider the axiom that the assumed default gender is male, that maleness is often seen as LACK of gender, and femaleness and gender variance are the PRESENCE of gender. In certain reasoning and worldviews, of course (See Androcentrism). Then add that, for transformers, the assumed default thing a transformer turns into, is car. (Autocentrism, if you will)

(The most general term for what a tf turns into is "Alt mode" as some of them are not vehicles at all. The other mode is "Robot Mode", whether its humanoid or not)

So I will be laying out why I believe the cartoon iterations support: non standard alt modes = non standard genders. This is in spite of the fact that FIRST lady tfs were all cars. Sleek cyber cars, but still. For whatever reason, (possibly, the reason for everything in tf, toys) they might as well not exist for how woman tf characters presence in the cartoons progressed over time.

And, to be clear, this is a reading of how these works of fiction are created, not a new unified bioessentialism but for robots aliens I'm proposing for like. In universe lore reasons. I hate that idea.

That said, alt modes in order of most to least gender: Spider, motorcycle, flying (in general, with rotors, jets), tank, and then FINALLY, car. (water and space crafts are already too marginal to rank, but they too can be assumed in relation to default maleness, AND that in making one a woman, would still qualify as othering her).

The NUMBER one reason for this is the bizarre need to have an ESTABLISHED woman tf character before making new ones. AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE. With a g1 gender ratio something like.... (counting even the most marginal cases for the ladies) 9:120? (That's a rough count from a quick scanning of the tf wiki g1 char list) Shits dire out here.

The second is, ofc, character design based. cis people [stand in phrase for the hegemonic world view] are not okay, and their opinions about how tf gender must need be depicted visually is. uh? Im not a fan. Size and shape dimorphism in general is a given, and specifically having women tfs as far more humanoid and curvy in specific. Also general cartoon lady face syndrome but, whatever. I think there's exactly one character here who doesn't have "lips" or "lipstick" as a distinguishing factor. I'm so tired.

Third is generally, the idea of The Girl Of the Team. When there's The Girl, she often isn't JUST a normal character, who happens to be a girl. See, of course, the Smurtfette Principle. But in my view there's also a trend to give The Girl "special traits" on top of "Girl", maybe even to directly combat the idea that the Girl Character has no other traits? To stop this from being a General Primer on Woman in Media, my explanatory focus is things specific to the tf franchise.

(A phrase I use for thinking about normative modes [in general, not just the Alt ones] in within the tf universe is "unique transformerdom" or, even more clunkily, "A transformer of unique transformerdom". The excessive verbosity is amusing to me personally. All I mean by it is to have an umbrella term for any of the ways tfs can be made unique from their peers in the non allegorical realities of the fiction).

I could, and do, and greatly want to, speak about this AT LENGTH. But it keeps spiraling away from me. So I'll say for now were looking at ways a character is being depicted different from her peers, not because she is the only woman (which she likely is), but cause she's a different kind of transformer, AND if she's othered for it.

(IN SOME forms of the lore. Being a transformer woman, IS A UNIQUE KIND of transformer unto itself. Let's just say I hate it and move on)

Fourth, is the gender of villainy. There is much to be said about gender presentation of villains, the ways they are allowed to be aberrant. We will get to it. There is also all the tropes specific TO evil women, and the modes of villainy open TO female characters. But a general thing I think impacting the gender ratios of the factions is the how "Good" and "Evil" female characters are written. I'll generalize and call this the "Damsel vs Temptress" dichotomy. (See concepts like the Madonna-whore complex). Transformers, is by and large, an action franchise. Unless special reasons are made, characters who can impact the action– have more screen time, and likely more memorable, and iconic presences. A villainous woman can be unchaste, violent, aggressive. While a heroic woman, even if not a literal damsel are more likely to be in a support role. The secretaries of the action genre: medics and techs.

(Another factor is that tfs are giant robots, and the good guys are often friends with tiny squishy little humans. These make very good damsel fodder, and can be taking up the spots on the roster that might, in a different franchise, go to women. Additionally, while woman characters in transformers overall is an interesting topic. When I say tf women, I'm referring to ones that are in fictionally, transformers.)

SO, now understanding our points of attack/obstacles for getting woman into transformers. (Getting established, gendering the designed, uniqueness of existence, and general villainy). Lets go over those alt modes, and the characters that have em, in more detail.

Spiders

The "Beast Era" (1996) intro-ed the spider ofc. And what don't we have with this one. She's a villain, but shes also misunderstood, the era and design style let to these more organic shapes. And they used them to make sure she was very sexy. She's genre aware, she's quippy, she's an absolute icon. So naturally. She gets ported to other later shows. Which means we just have sexy spider ladies running around when everyone else is a fucking truck and shit.

Her own origin is, well think of her as a "Bride of Frankenstein" to the resident evil scientist, also a spider. She was designed for, and manipulated by him in multiple ways. Her protoform (A blank robot base), was supposed to be one of the good guys (a Maximal), but was reprogrammed into a bad guy (Predacon). Even then, she eventually joins them, for her own reasons. She's not even the first predacon to do so, the difference? Well the characters are a lot more NORMAL about his autonomy. Both of these characters stress that being a predacon is an identity they still see as important. But only the woman is told that really, she is was was always MEANT to be a maximal. And while that's true in a sense. There's also a plot were she's forced (by plot contrivance, not the other maximals) to get corrective robot surgery for it. And when they think she died from, everyone's more sad for her boyfriend than for her. Ouch.

The second spider, in the 2007 show, is now one in a world where she is the only "techno-organic" transformer, hence, she is spider, everyone else is a vehicle. Similar to the first, her narrative is very gendered, but less in the way were, like, I do literally think the first was was experiencing in universe sexism from other characters. Here, they really focus on the "techno vs organic" narrative, and the tragic circumstances on how that happened. In this case its just real world sexist writing.

THIRD SPIDER, (2010), instead of misunderstood and tragic evil, this ones just super mega likes to cause pain evil. She also occupies a strange place between the typic vehicular tfs, and the insecticons. This is because she has a helicopter alt mode, and her robot mode is just, a lady with spider characteristics. And, more than just a passing bug like similarity, she has the power to control the insecticons (you know, cause evil woman mind control). However, she doesn't fit in with them either, as the insecticons are at the most insect like they've ever been, in look, living in hives and that most don't even speak.

They may vary in exact character, relationship to the story's moral conflict, and design. But they stay comfortably established, dimorphised, flirty and flirting with villainy. And bonus points, always, for black widow spider trope.

SO. SPIDERS. Established: ✅️ Gendered designs: ✅️ (Extremely!) Unique: ✅️ Othered: ✅️ Villainy: ✅️

Motorcycles

Tooooo my knowledge the first bike lady was in 2004, and fairly minor, in the actual plot, but rest assured, they did go the previously established woman route, by being pink, though, which one shes named after varies by language. But neither were previously motorcycles. (And yes, there is also this problem of mixing together or swapping out one woman tf for another. As if we have the ladies to spare). Even though motorcycle men also exist, this one just stuck for a bit. Maybe something to do with Those Movies. I think the Gendered Existence of a motorcycle is pretty evident though, general sex appeal, being smaller, the mode of riding a motorcycle is different, more physical and intimate. Mainly this ranks so high for the level of grossness they can pack in. Just how objectifying it can be, particularly with two instances where the human rider is an annoying teen boy. Naturally, I've also never seen a male and female motorcycle in the same room, but the approach to design tends to be different. And yeah most of em are Arcee, who's first alt mode was cyber car, but it's not just her.

Established: ✅️ Gendered designs: ✅️ Unique: ✅️ Othered: Depends on iteration, I do NOT like the way one gets called "tough, for a two wheeler". Villainy: ❌(they wouldn't need to be motorcycles if they weren't making them the Special Girl Autobot, after all)

Flying

General: It just tends to stick out when your one girl is only flyer in the group, even she's otherwise tactfully done. Only flyer of the Maximals, a falcon, only flyer of the dinobots, a Pteranodon.

Rotors

I can barely even figure this one. Maybe it's just a general, aesthetics and use case of the actually vehicles, the associations? None of these ladies (and special case) are very connected otherwise. As previously mentioned, the spider helicopter. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A big one for this is the preschool demo shows, which are rescue team focused. In the first one the only woman on the human response worker team pairs with the helicopter, they mention she does medical at times. The helicopter is male, like the other tfs. But also he's afraid of flying, and while not the first case of a flyer with a fear of heights, their personalities are, pretty different. As he's both fearful AND effeminate, fine as character traits go but, with the tone of humour used, marks him as Other.

In the second, Whirl (pointing to icon) becomes a girl for the first time, now with standard humanized face. I assume as move to keep with the previous show of having a girl one, as there's no human team mates. She's also the only one who really likes rescue school. Aaaand that's all know of her. What more do you want from me.

Helicopters: Unique: ✅️ Othered: ✅️ (milder than some)

But why'd I call this section rotors instead of helicopters? That would be because one of the latest Sole Female TF we just put in everything™ is a VTOL jet with rotors. She'll tend to be the only jet of her type, which is also smaller than the type of jet used for the villains.

And, of course, aside from alt mode, the thing that makes her stand out most in the cartoons? That she's very clearly a comics character. (I find the emphasize that she's "fan created" over done, as it only controlled minor aspects, and irrelevant cause tfs get completely overhauled in new versions all the time). From her design, which is a bit busier than most characters she stars with. And also uses Japanese aesthetic signifiers in ways that I think are a bit misappropriated and untactful. (VERY USamerican comics). Also, when she stars next to a guy, also from comics employing Japanese aesthetic, you can tell its not deployed in the same manner. (E.I she has hair and makeup, he has armor). Either way, her depictions have her either as badass sword lady on mission from god who's constantly getting hit on by an annoying guy. Or have her be from a different planet and has special telepathy.

Do we see how both her gender AND the cultural signifiers are having affects here? That the main woman tf in a series can be a literal alien even among our alien robots, with cultural signifiers they don't have?

Ratings Established: ✅️ (made the comics to cartoon jump) Gendered designs: ✅️ Unique: ✅️ Othered: ✅️ (SO SO EXTREMELY, using methods in fiction and real life)

Jets

I think my association of jets with tf gender is stronger, than some of the above examples, even if there's less reason to it. And why is that? Well, lets get socratic. Here's another question.

Is This All Starscream's Fault?

No. He's not real, he can't do things. But. His legacy as THE main stay transformers character that gets to subvert gender? Yeah. (Sure, the G1 autobots have their own effete, but he's not in every single cartoon they ever made now is he? Plus now that I think about it, he is a FLYING car...)

From the get, he's not a Man's man. He's shrill, he's manipulative and duplicitous, petty and emotional, cowardly and wheedling. He is, of course, the Perfect character. Now naturally, the 80s cartoon was not concerned with your paltry logics. Starscream and his ilk are the jets, but every decepticon can fly. The gun, the cassette player, the camera, the cassettes.

And each to a last, more masculine than he is. Vocally or behaviorally, physically. Every one of them fit the gender expectations more than he does. Even being a small time grunt, is a masculine trait, after all, more so than unchecked ambition. So its not femininity from flying, from jets. But direct relationship, reference, and descendancy from Starscream that makes it. I've yet to see female versions of Jet fire and or the aerialbots, for example.

So what to do when an effeminate male villain was less maltese falcon and more that man has effeminate hips? Well. We had to start getting his ass for being effeminate, explicitly. They made the female clone of him, which yeah, is an offensive joke stemming from the various The Gender Anxieties. (Transmisogyny, homophobia and sexism. General relation toxic masculinity. A heady mix of all and more).

But I mean. It's free girl tf... Once given a name in extra canon materials, she start's showing up in other things. Once you're in books, video games, comics, and most importantly, toys, you're real. And then eventually, her first non clone appearance in a cartoon, and how her presence shaped it.

That being, Cyberverse. Which is a cgi show, you need to know this for reasons of production. Making new models is expensive. This has always been the reason you just make recolours of Starscream and name them different things. Chicken or egg on this one, I don't know, But because CV has Slipstream, and the only difference between her and the generic "male" decepticon jet, is a more feminine face; Suddenly, any random decepticon goon can be a woman.

An absolutely revolutionary take for striving to populate a fictional world with gender parity. By at large it also means they're way more lady villains, and specifically flying model of villain. The show has other woman, but none who get the same androgynous body mold treatment.

Established: ✅️ Gendered designs: Mildly to NO. Unique: By design, no. Othered: Yes for the clone, and Screamer himself, I suppose. No, otherwise. Villainy: ✅️(That's, the whole idea)

Tanks

It needs to be said. Sometimes, when doing things that transgress a norm, anteing up is less subversive. This is another reason why gender variance, female agency and overt sexuality are more common traits of villains. When already defying strictures of society. What's one more.

That's Right. TANKS ARE THE BUTCH WOMAN OF TRANSFORMERS.

Alright. Let me back up. Strika is the stone cold knock out undefeated champ of lady tf designs that, actually has a reoccurring cartoon presence. She is, admittedly, only a reoccurring to minor character.

Her introduction is in another show with techno-organics, this one involved in the struggle between well, the techno and the organic. Strika as we see her, and as the design that will go on to be iterated, is not in her normal transformer body. She has been transferred into a 'vehicon' body. Without a preexisting essence contained in one, vehicons are not considered alive, in the way a transformer is. Visually, they lack the more human body plan, a standard face, feet and hand like appendages.

To further contrast Strika against the two techno-organic woman. Both of them are tall, and slender. Their softer organic shapes designed towards elegance or beauty, whatever your subjective opinion of that result might be. They both have romance subplots too. By the way. Or honestly one subplot and one main plot. Strika. In contrast. Is built like a brick shit house. Her face is. Minimal. And her goal: protecting her planet... by terminating the heroes.

Now, existing as a character that can be referenced for other media, and given the detail that she was a "Famous general", it's off to the races. She makes a wonderful big tank menace that can fill out a background shot, too.

Without her I hardly think we could have Clobber, also from CV. Who is. The true goat. The finest thing, the achievements of all we could ever hope for. A big fuck off woman, gender swapped from a previous male design with minimal faff, with now even more personality and show presence. Friends, wants, desires. Emotions. Thank God for Clobber, Thank Clobber for Clobber. Thank Randolph Heard and Mae Catt for Clobber.

Established: Depends if you want to count that Strika had so much swag they kept drawing/modeling her Gendered designs: FUCK NO Unique: ✅️ Othered: only originally Villainy: ✅️

Cars

So now you have the final piece of the puzzle. In transformers, Autobots are Cars. Yes, there are plenty of autobots that are NOT cars, and there are cars that are not Autobots. But they're exceptions, they're aberrances. They're unique. And Autobots are the norm. They oppose the Decepticons. Decepticons are Villains. And Decepticons can fly. Modal simplified binaries and false dichotomy abound!

And the thing about those original Autobot woman, the one's who largely did not influence all of this? They were cars, it's true, but not like how the men where cars. They've not been designed from transforming car toys, with a shellac of humanoid gender over top. Their designed in the way of human gender. With the car on top.

When the preexisting clause leads to the original designs to be revisited, which, has largely only happened in more recent years. They aren't car woman robots. The cars are literally not part of their bodies, they are additional. Instead of a unifying identity of a robot who is a car, its Arcee and her backpack. Parts of cars get grafted onto their petite lady bodies, and placed anywhere out of the way.

In order to make a transformer a woman, they have to give her a gender, not understanding that that's always been the case. And to give her a woman's gender, she's got to LOOK like a woman, not a transformer. And to look like a woman, she's got to act like a woman. She must be heroic but reactive instead of active, or else, villainous, conniving and or self centered. To be a woman, we must have some other previous woman to explain her presence, or else explain it anew with her unique, strange, or exotic origin. How could she ever be a woman if she simply, existed, looked average, talked average. How could she be a woman if her body is hunks of ungendered car. How can she be a woman if she's everything we expect a transformer to be.

A woman is transgressive, a woman is not normal. Autobots are normal. Autobots are heros. Autobots are men. And Autobots do not fly.

[always-a-joyful-note]

I was just thinking again of Idolish7 and I think that the reason that the theme of legacy and carrying on the baton or becoming something better was done SO well was because it they approached it from that old adage about "paying it forward." It's like....yes, they are rivals and competing and doing this for themselves, but like Otoharu said in one of the story parts, the past isn't worthless because it gives us something to build off of and perhaps surpass (and it's good inspiration, too). And you can see that in addition to just being idols and creating music and making their own kinds of art for themselves, they're also doing this out of love for something from the past. Mitsuki with Zero, Sogo with his uncle, Tamaki for Aya, Iori for his brother, Riku because of his family and Tenn, Tenn for his family/Kujo, Momo and Yuki for the old Re:vale and Banri, Minami and Nagi for Sakura, also even Aya for the families that abandoned her and the new ones that gave her something, etc. Even people like Torao and Yamato, who kind of entered the industry purely out of "selfish" desires have an arc where they received kindness and now just want to pass it on.

To sum it up, by treating the past with respect and real appreciation, they can surpass it without trying to undermine its real impact and beauty.

[bagel-boy-sama]

Astarion Baldurs Gate 3 Isn't A TumblrSexyMan™, He's Just A SexyMan™

I've seen a large number of people, most of whom are in the Astarion Disliker/"I don't get it" camp most who are not on this particular hell site, cite Astarion as Tumblr's latest sexyman. Today, I will be explaining why I do not believe that to be the case. That instead, as the title states, he's just a sexyman.

No real knowledge of the hell site is required, I'll explain things for the new people.

Setting The Definitions

First, definitions because this is now Intro to Writing and Rhetoric. A sexyman would be anyone, usually masc or a man, who is concidered sexy by a wide range of people. Fascinating.

A Tumblr Sexyman, on the other hand, is a thing - usually fictional entity - that is incredibly popular on Tumblr.com to the degree it escapes it's fandom sometimes, in the most extreme of cases, becoming far more popular than it's original fandom. It is characterized by a few major characteristics. Ranging from Twinkism* (be it the character or fan interpretation), generally unconventionally/perceived to be unconventionally attractive in a non physical sense (character traits that wouldn't otherwise be desirable, like absurd behavior or generally evilness), to impeccable drip (either in the original media/design, or done by fans in fanart).

*note: Twinkism (which I did just throw in on the spot this is entirely bullshit for my own amusement) is the phenomenon of skinny, young looking, pretty/feminine white boys who are within media. This is different from twinks, who are understood to be young and skinny - being pretty, popular, or white is not connected. All those who participate in Twinkism are Twinks, but not all Twinks participate in Twinkism.

Does Astarion Baldurs Gate 3 Fit The Definition?

First rule: must be at least a twink. Is he?

No. Yes. Kinda. In a way. Many people would describe Astarion as someone who's gone through "Twink Death". No this is not because he's literally undead. Twink Death, in it's simplest form, is when a twink no longer looks young and/or feminine. Astarion has aged. His crows feet and laugh lines, while beautiful, do not make him look 18. For some this would disqualify him from being a Twink. So perhaps he has failed at the first step.

I, however, am not satisfied with that. Moving on, is Astarion - or would Astarion - actually be considered conventionally unattractive in any way that is disconnected from his appearance? I argue no. Vampires are considered very well, normal to lust after. They're right below succubus on the "This isn't considered weird to find attractive" scale. You aren't romancing The Emperor here. Outside of that he's well groomed, shown to be muscular in game (headcanon does often disagree and while I wish it was true we are working with facts for this specific discussion), and an elf. In personality, while not for everyone, he's the pretty standard fruity sarcastic gay who's a bit selfish. We all know a fruity sarcastic gay who's a bit selfish, and they get laid. So it can't be considered that bad. Probably.

I feel important to note here that I am aroace and have no idea what I'm talking about right now. This is an educated guess.

Astarion has lost now, two for two. He's barely a twink, even going off of his model he's more a twunk. He definitely doesn't fit the Twinkism phenomenon. He's not weird to find attractive, I assume, so what else is there? His drip? I'm sorry, but his base outfit is a bit well Goofy to say the least. Much fanart leaves him in this outfit or a simpler version because drawing ruffles is enough to make anyone want to willingly jump headfirst into the underdark, so he fails the drip test as well.

His final hurtle: is his popularity Tumblr™. In this context Tumblr™ is different from Tumblr. Tumblr™ is the fandom side, where a sexyman would flourish and find their own fandom. Importantly, this fandom needs to be very insular to the site. It's a *Tumblr* sexyman after all. So that begs the question, is Astarion highly liked by mostly or purely Tumblr people/those who have the vibes of a Tumblr user? No.

Astarion is well loved by many people of various vibes. He has affected (previously) straight men on Reddit. Few can escape him and his 10 charisma.

Conclusion

Astarion is just a sexyman. He's just a fictional character that many think is neat and attractive for a variety of reasons. He's the Ryan Reynolds of crpgs. He's some dude, who's generally considered attractive by a lot of people who you both would and wouldn't expect to find him attractive.

[perexcri]

happy one year to her and one of my better opening lines for a fic <3

now, because i'm curious:

[spikeyjo]

also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks

[pastelpousay]

Hi guys I think I’m gonna be taking a mini break again just a small one

Ik I said last time I needed to take one to write my fic and took a 1 day off 💀 and then basically spam posted but yea I’ll still post the art I’ve made today and this week, my other writing projects and requests will be on hold yes I still do take them I’ve just been a bit Hadina obsessed as of late (like the last 7-8 months 💀😭)

But I’m taking a small break i give myself 3 days off tumblr because I’ve been feeling like I’m becoming a bit obsessed with interactions and stuff on here and it’s been making me feel like shit💀. So for rn I’ll be working on Hadina story I’m really passionate about it and I feel like if I take the time I have left of the summer and relax and work on something I’m passionate about I won’t be so worried about how many people like the stuff on here. Don’t get me wrong ever since posting my art on here I’ve improved greatly and I’ll continue to create I just have a lot more I need to focus on so that I don’t like loose my mind 😭.

Also thank you to everyone that has been like and reblogging my posts, and also to those who’ve made art of Rina or Hadina or anything like that it truly means so much to me. I never thought that me just being a little weirdo online would lead to me getting fanart and stuff like guys I’m gonna cry 😭💗💗💗 THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME IT MEANS SO SO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL 💗I WANT YOU TO KNOW EVERY POSITIVE MESSAGE OR NOTE YOU HAVE LEFT ME HAS AN IMPACT AND I WILL REMEMBER THAT I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT TRULY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DEALING WITH MY BS

[thevalleyoftriumph]

im beginning to think that i am mentally ill and the internet makes my mental illness Worse

[piningpercussionist]

literally my favorite blog on tumblr. Ur perfect at being Kim Pine and I love the little notes it the tags :3

(^ this is me at you rn)

Thank you so much <333 it seriously means the world to me that people love/like my Kim stuff. AND to know that some of yall actually read my silly little notes

I try to keep her as in character as I can, and I feel I have been largely successful, for the most part. I feel like she comes fairly naturally to me- I only occasionally hit snags,, but usually that's just because I'm high or something and am overcome with the desire to Maximize The Silly shfgkjshjld She's so serious though, usually. I love her <3 I love getting to be her for The People

[miraclewoozi]

at what point do the masses realise that this is soul crushing

[orcelito]

Ykno the common critique I've seen around is that trimax fights r hard to follow & such. And I've always had the kind of thought of like "I mean sometimes it can be confusing, but if u stop to study it it's really not that bad"

Having a fight analysis post kinda blow up tho I'm seeing ppl comment over and over in the tags about how hard it is to keep up with the fights... and I'm just like. Is it really that confusing? Like genuinely. I thought it was one of those overblown fan critiques but it seems like a Lot of people agree with it.

[milfygerard]

sometimes i go thru the gaylor tag to see updates or reactions or something and its so funny everytime. You people are insane i respect literally none of you etc etc

[muirneach]

i would like to express three blanket statements for everyone in the notes:

- yes i obviously know that calling people ‘family’ is a way of referring the other queer people. this is evident in the fact that i used that fucking word in the post jesus christ guys you don’t need to try and inform me of this

- related, but this was a rhetorical post. i do not need advice on how to talk to people. i am involved with real life trans groups and am well versed in how to subtly talk to people. i literally made this post while on break from my bad customer service job after seeing multiple trans customers

- maybe this is a me problem but people having dysphoria from being seen as trans is sad to me. like i sorta get it but also hm maybe work on ur self hatred idk. being trans is a joy

reading comprehension questions:

consider the targeted demographic of this post. then consider, do you dislike this demographic? if so, please try changing your opinion or at least scroll away and stop bothering me about it

did the author make reference to old forms of queer communication? if so, it seems like he is familiar with the concept and perhaps refrain from informing the author about it

why might have the author, at first glance, described dysphoria as self hatred? did he really do this, or does he rather acknowledge that one facet of dysphoria stems from depression and deprecation? consider why someone might not want to be seen as trans. is it for safety reasons, or because they have yet to unlearn the perceived shame of being trans, or any other multitude of reasons? any reason is perfectly valid but one may wish to examine their opinions on the cis view of the trans body

seeing trans ppl in public is literally life giving. wish there was a normal way to express to other trans people in public that we’re family and that i love them

[blinkbones]

Minor Detail -- Adania Shibli

Rambling warning. This reading got so mixed in with my current state of mind and feelings + the difficulty of speaking about something related to a heated current issue, it's a whole mess. And probably not a well-worded one. Also I'm ignorant. I hope I don't compound anyone's pain today, and if I do, I am endlessly sorry. Also anyone being dehumanizing in my notes is catching a block.

This book I bought on a whim, against my own rules. My new job has been taking its toll on me and, I don't know, I sort of felt compelled to... do... something...?

It's an awful thing to say, but I've been compartmentalizing a lot. I've been limiting the time that I take to engage with news, because it kept sending me down doom spirals.

But... I still care, yknow. And I guess that's why I picked up a book with such a discomforting blurb even in my aching state -- and how comforting can you get in your writing as a Palestinian author, in the context of the last... century... anyway?

Ok, less about me and more about this book. It's a short, and well-crafted novel, in two parts. In the first half, the reader is put in direct contact with the cold point of view of an Israeli soldier in the few days that lead up to the rape and murder of a young Arab woman. In the second part, decades later, a Palestinian woman seeks to reconstruct the full truth of those events. You don't need me to tell you that this can be a triggering read -- but if you can handle it, it's a good one.

The writing is deceivingly simple in appearance. You will not be stumped by the sentence structures -- but the overall structure of the story itself is complex, interlacing within itself.

There are obvious mirrors to anyone who paid attention in literature classes. The dog's barking echoes like an ominous bell across the two parts. The two main characters (unnamed) both descend into a sort of feverish paranoia.

There are two scenes that I keep going back to in my mind, one from each part.

In part 1, the soldier gets stung by an insect, and his state deteriorates. As he gets more unwell, he becomes more and more meticulous and controlling regarding his environment, obviously unwilling to risk a second incident, all the while growing more and more ill. One night, or day, as he avoids the burning sun, he gets up and smashes every single insect he can find; big spiders, small spiders, even a moth. The text doesn't tell you, but you can guess -- this won't help him at all; he's already sick ; and a moth? What harm could the moth ever inflict upon him? What it reveals is his obsession for control, born out of the fear of one unpleasant but seemingly non-lethal bite, inflicted by a creature who got trapped under his shirt when he slept for the first time in a house that belonged to someone else, that we as readers imagine to be dead or trying to find refuge far away from their old home. You read it and you can't help but think about children, a week ago, yesterday, today, probably right now. Moths as well. Humans treated like insects and all lumped into a bag of "killables".

In part 2, the woman goes to work. She calls it "her new job" but you soon get the sense that she may have been at it for a while. She struggles with the limits of things, where to put them and where they end and if she's the one in charge of drawing the limit or of following its implications. This, in the context of a country whose borders are regularly pushed inward like a booby trap designed to crush its victims, is such a simple sentence, but a terrifying one. Anyway, that's not even the scene. She goes to work. On her way there, she gets stopped by soldiers telling her that the way is blocked, as they are leading an operation to deal with some young people ("terrorists" was the word, I think) holed up in a nearby building. She finds another way to access the building, where she opens the windows so the glass won't break. Soon after, there is an explosion, and the glass doesn't break. She focuses on the dust, which she abhors, because it comes in a cloud and covers her work station and the papers she's working on. It's rough and dry and hard to deal with. Her priority in that moment is to get the dust off of her papers, so that she can keep working. This resonated deeply with me. Even though my situation is, no doubt, much less depressing and much less dangerous than hers, how often have I ignored a horror I can't deal with to focus on the stupid minute details of something I do have some form of impact on? In the text, the narrator worries that this may be difficult to understand, focusing on the dust, when a literal bomb blew up nearby, but I really don't think it is. With the state of things, how they've been and how they've been going, worldwide, locally, continentally, nationally, whatever you want, and how powerless it makes a lot of us feel, I think it's inevitable to focus on what you can actually affect. And she's right, it is so silly, in a way. But maybe it is just a survival strategy as well, and it doesn't mean that one cannot care, or try to have a bigger impact, or be more involved in attempts to change things ; indeed, the woman eventually draws from every resource at her disposal to try something -- maybe "anything", I'm not sure. I mean, I've been giving my opinion and feelings here, but it'd be presumptuous to say that I really understand the author's intent.

On that note, I was hungry for more after I was done reading, so I watched a few interviews. How ironic that Adania Shibli herself got arrested when she visited the same museum her character visits, because they had "never seen a Palestinian woman with a computer". This simple sentence weighs on my mind as well, again not entirely sure why. How ironic, as well, that her award ceremony was postponed in the wake of October 7th. As if her getting her prize was going to deafen Israeli voices (I'm referring to the justification given by the book fair in question). As if this really was a simple mathematical problem, in which pain can only be recognized under one flag at a time. As if recent history showed dominance of Palestine over Israel. As if human pain wasn't universal.

I don't claim to know everything, but the level of bullshit kind of makes me feel insane sometimes. Anyway, please don't try to debate me -- this is only a book review, and I am only a random fuck with basic principles of "I don't like it when people are hurt" and no free time to argue why that's my principle.