#i often forget tumblr is a thing and have a total one one original a a bunch of re blogs

[businessferrets]

I love shows and movies that don't let me make up my own characters and put them in the show. I'm not saying that I don't love making up my own characters and putting them in shows I love doing that and my brain will do it against my own will. I just really love a good show or movie that leaves me with feeling of wanting to make a new character. one example of this for me was Song of the Sea which and Gravity Falls witch I freaking love but my brain feels no need to add on to them. when I find a movie that my brain let's me think about without making up a new character and shoving it into the plot I get really freaking happy because I can sleep at night and feel at peace and also work on the book I'm writing. I honestly and wholeheartedly believe that this type of story where your brain doesn't feel the need to add on to it is beautiful and really interesting and I want to find more shows, books, and movies like this. I am aware that this type of media is most likely different for each person but I feel that no one ever takes the time to enjoy or talk about this type of media. I could go on and on about this but I don't want to bore the two people who read this so that's all. I hope you have a beautiful day or night wherever you are and remember someone out there really cares about you. ( is this just a neurodivergent/autism thing )

[dilf-docs]

hii i just read ur eddie x young reader. And i LOVE ITTTT

Can u please do something similar but with young neighbor reader? Where the reader moves in an apartment beside eddie . They meet each one day and they hit it off? (nsfw )

(Ignore this if u don’t like the idea or u can change it)

Knockin' On Heaven's Door

eddie brock x younger fem!reader

summary: you're what people call a ray of sunshine, probably the most likeable person in the planet. so why is this hot idiot next door so mean to you?

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (you know this blog lives by its name), smut, sunshine!reader x grumpy! eddie (cause his ass just got dumped lol), enemies to lovers (one-sided), kinda mean!eddie, porn with little to no plot, power goes out so they get freaky in the dark, use of pet names, p. in v.(use protection guys pls!!! don't be like this dumbasses fucking raw in the dark), oral (m. receiving), creampie, no venom :(

word count: 4,069 words (it's almost midnight again, me thinks I've forever messed up my sleep schedule cause ain't no way inspo only grows as per my eyebags lol)

side note: got my first request on tumblr!! (insert scarlett johanson dancing in marriage story gif). i love looove the neighbours trope so much (hey! if i had a hot older neighbour i would be doing the most to interact with them, bet); hope this lives up to ur expectations even if i tweaked a few things! also, this happens after eddie gets dumped by anne and moves out of the house lol so he's angry, moppy, horny and dry. what if i make this a series tho, would you like that? requests are open!

You're what people call a ray of sunshine. Ever since you managed to talk, all that comes out of you is happiness: the first sound to come out of your mouth was a laugh, your first word was smile, you have Love as your second name, you made friends on real time record, the profession you chose was that of a patissier and the first ink to grace your skin was a little heart tattoo.

Okay, maybe you've made it your whole personality to be likeable. So what? It's not your fault you light up every place you go, that people love you effortlesly and that life seems to smile your way.

It's the way the cookie crumbles, a fitting phrase for a pastry chef like you. Your friends often joked about it: you, a sweet person, baking little sweet goods to make other's lives sweeter.

And you loved it: your life, your job, your family, friends, cat and little apartment in San Francisco.

There was just one thing missing: because no matter how sweet you made other's peoples worlds by existing, no one was there to make it for you.

Alright, you had enough love and just loved love for the sake of it. Sometimes, a tidbit of romance through your screen or through the couple-d lives of your friends sufficed such desire, but its a lie to say you haven't dreamed of your own.

So when Johanna, the girl who lives across you, comes rushing with the newest gossip: "hot new neighbour moving next door!", there's something that tells you it might be time.

"You have to see him" she emphasizes, "a total eye candy"

That ignites the curiosity inside you, and after some weeks hearing through your walls grunts next door and a constant shuffle of things originally packed in boxes, you find yourself knocking on his door, tray of cookies in your hands.

Yes, you did bake them for him. After all, your chocolate chip cookies are a killer! People do lines to get them at your aunt's cafeteria, just to taste the warm soft dough, the chocolate melting on their mouths. You do this for every other new neighbour that comes around, it's just how you are! But the cookie choice is totally intentional though.

The door flinges open, and for the very first time in years, you find yourself at loss for words; speechless.

The stranger before you is a face you'll never forget. Handsome, of course, but there is something alluring in his beauty, one you can't exactly name, but comes along in a pair of thick lips, brown warm eyes and ink sprinkled across strong arms. Your heart hammers in your chest, and it takes all in you to not drop the tray in your chest right here and now.

"Hey!" you find your voice again. Clearing your throat, you proceed. "You're our new neighbour, right? I'm y/n, I live next door. Thought you'd like something sweet to eat after all that effort" you push the tray to the front, "I made this myself!"

He just stares back, blinking. You think he may be confused by your random act, but it's quite normal to do so with newbies. You love welcoming acts!

The awkward stiffness he radiates doesn't deter you away, though. "This are for you" you insist, "or just take one, if you don't want them all..."

"I hate chocolate" he finally says, with such a scowl on his face, you'd think you killed his entire family.

Oh! He hates chocolate? Who hates chocolate?!

You suddenly feel small and stupid. Without much else to say, you don't know how to proceed. You have your way with words, but no one has ever rejected you in the cold open before. It's left you baffled.

Then, a light bulb goes on in your head.

"Wait, I know you!" he quirks an eyebrow. "You're that reporter from TV, Eddie Brock" you gush, "I love helping others, but what you do is amazing... you're, like on other level, giving a voice to those who don't have one"

You admired him; he was someone who was brave and cared.

"Not anymore" and then the door slams in your face.

It takes you a while to process there, standing in the eerie silence of the empty hall, that Eddie Brock may be the very first person in the world who doesn't like you.

In the end, you'd given the batch of cookies to the homeless people living around your building. Even if it made you feel good, the pang in your chest didn't go away. You simply couldn't forget about the incident (because of pride and embarrasment in equal parts), plus, the fact that he lived next door and you couldn't go on about your day without hearing him pace around his apartment, made the task of forgetting about it difficult.

So in the following days you've avoided him, which has been pretty easy so far, since he barely leaves his apartment and you're busy with work and stuff.

It's friday night, and with the next week's groceries in hand, you take the elevator. The door's about to close when it opens again. You can't believe it: after successfuly evading him for five days, Eddie Brock is trapped with you inside the reduced space; you shouldn't been lazy and taken the stairs instead.

"'Night" he mutters, and you swear you've gone deaf because you barely hear so. You don't know what to do, so you just stand there, clutching your tote bag a little too hard. It could be an accident: he's too drunk out of his mind and doesn't know it's you.

It's not like he's been so nice, but after his asshole-ish move last time you saw each other, you don't expect basic courtesy towards you either.

You get a whiff of his scent, mixed with traces of whiskey. It's unfair how intoxicating it feels―how it's got you wanting more of what isn't yours.

God knows it's been long enough since you've wanted a man this bad.

It's not until the elevator dings again that you realize you've been holding your breath the entire time.

"Bye, pretty"

He casually exits out into your same floor never looking back, without realizing the effect his words have on you, hope slowly making its way through the creaks of your open heart.

Okay, maybe it's your fault for raising such high stakes based on two words and a silly little drunk interaction. Maybe you deserve it: because you've become a bit obsessed with the fact that Eddie hates you, but after yesterday, you've already traced a truce in your mind.

Even Johanna has told you to be cool about it. "It's time someone didn't like you" she joked, but you didn't find it funny. She insisted it's not important, but to you it is! How can he not like you? Maybe if he had a valid reason, you'd stop insisting, despite the let down. But he doesn't have one! And you've been nothing but kind! You think too much about it because it doesn't make any damn sense: you're loosing your mind and your friend just laughs.

The only reason you haven't talked to him again, is because work load has catched up to you.

But now you're here, out on the street, and the first person you see is him: on top of his bike, ready to go out.

"Nice!" you chirp. It may not be a top brand, but the black vehicle is as cool as its owner: the leather jacket, worn out jeans and beat up look is an insane combination that may or may not have you drooling.

"Huh?" he looks back at you, and you swear your cheeks reddened in embarrasment at his deadpan expresion.

"Nice bike, I mean" you nervously laugh, fiddling with a loose string of your sweater. "I love seeing them, but I don't think I'll ever ride one. I get scared too easily, you know?"

He puts his helmet on, "Alright"

Not even a thanks or an attempt of a small talk; what an idiot. Didn't he talk to you last time? Called you pretty? Why is he acting so curt right now?

"Hey, what is your pro-"

Your question doesn't get to be finished, because the engine roars and he's out of there, leaving you confused inside a cloud of smoke, the trail leaving with your last sparks of hope.

It's one of those nights where you just want to lay down and let sleep take control of your body. As soon as you get in your comfy pajamas and sink in the mattress, a noise erupts through the air. Startled, you raise on your feet, the slumber long gone.

Fuck. This hasn't been your week, has it?

The noise comes from outside, and you know who it is: the guy who lives in the corner, right next to the window; he who brings too many women home and plays his guitar a little too loud. It's late an he isn't getting the memo, clearly.

You swing your door open, ready to give him a piece of mind (and perhaps dump your accumulated stress from the week), until you realize you aren't the only one outside on the hall. It's Eddie, and he looks just as pissed as you do.

"Can't sleep?" he asks in a mocking tone, all while avoiding your eyes, rather focused on the common enemy's door.

"What do you think?" you reply, equaling his tone.

You both agree in silence, walking to his door. After some knocking, the guy opens his door: less thrilled when he sees Eddie and more complaint when he sees you.

"Sure, sweetheart. I'll keep it down" and winks. The nerve of this guy. Even Eddie is frowning, surely annoyed at his lack of etiquette. "You can knock anytime, noise or not".

The door closes, but it's Brock who did it, not guitar guy. You're too tired to ask, and after picking what's left of your dignity around him, you decide it's best to walk back to your apartment.

"You know what's funny?" you stop your tracks, laughing, but it's devoid of amusement, "I lost my sleep".

He just stares back, and you're tired of the way conversations have to run by your side, for the very first time. You keep on walking, but as soon as your hand touches your doorknob, he speaks up:

"Goodnight" a small truce, you think. But you're not falling this time.

So you do the right think: walk inside without saying a word, and just like him, never looking back.

You wake up agitated in the middle of the night. It's raining: not just a normal rain but a huge storm. You look over at your alarm, noticing its characteristically red numbers are as pitch black as the sky above you. It's also thundering, and God, do you hate noises and thunder.

You jump again at another one cutting through the sky, and decide it's for the best to just stay awake until it's time to wake up. According to your phone, you have about three hours until morning rises. That's enough time to watch a movie or two. Even to pet your cat, which is laying next to your bed, clearly unbothered―unlike his owner.

But there's a problem: when you try to turn the switch, no lights go on. Your incredulous laugh ecos in the room.

Not only a storm, but also a fucking black out.

Scare slowly creeps up, and the shivers you feel are definitely not only because of the temperature drop.

So you grab your phone and head out, without clearly thinking and obviously in panic, because the first thing you do is knock on your neighbour's door.

Eddie's.

"Oh!" it takes a while for him to answer his door, but when he does, his phone's flashlight burns your eyes. "Sorry" he apologizes, and you don't know if it's for that or the fact he didn't answer; maybe for everything too, "didn't hear the knocking with all the thunder".

You say it's fine, that you're just checking to see if you're not the only one without light.

He flicks a nearby switch to no avail, "I'm afraid everyone in the whole building too"

Eddie probably notices your frightened state, the way you shiver like a lost puppy, and feels sorry.

"Wanna come inside?" he offers, hands inside his grey sweater's pockets.

For the very first time since you met him, he looks at you, but really looks at you: eyes roaming over your body, an all too familiar feeling painted across his brown orbs.

You realize a bit late what you're wearing: a teensy short and top, a set of pajamas that happens to be your most comfortable. Favorite too. Appropiate for this emergency meeting? Maybe not.

"You want me to?" you asked, confused. "I thought you hated me"

The only sound across the hall is the droplets of rain outside, some tapping in the window next to you and his apartment.

He looks rather embarrased, "I don't".

"Then you're just an idiot" you counter back, and he doesn't fight you about it.

"Fair" he says, "I can make some coffee?"

Maybe he's pretty convincing or you're a people pleaser, but as soon as he proposes, you're caving in just like that.

"Fine, but you better let me bring my cat"

Truth is, Muffin plays hard to get, but now he's resting in Eddie's lap―purring, as you two sip quietly on your coffee. Traitor.

"I used to have a cat" he says, cutting through the silence.

"Oh!" you leave your mug on his table, next to the candle; the only source of light in the room, "didn't think of you as a cat person".

"Tecnically, it belongs to my fiancée. Sorry, ex-fiancée" he makes a pause, "bet that cat doesn't miss me".

"I didn't know you had a, uh-" you're not sure how to proceed, so you trail off. Muffin jumps from Eddie's lap to the kitchen, lost in the dark.

"Yeah, I had a fiancée, cat, house, and job. Then I lost everything" he dry chuckles, humorlessly, "guess that's why I'm so bitter"

"I'm sorry" you say on the most sincere tone you can muster. Eddie wonders how can you be so kind and forgiving, especially after he's been nothing but an asshole to you.

"Doesn't mean I should've been a douchebag for no reason. You didn't deserve it" he apologizes, embarrased.

You stay in silence for some more time but then he says: "Not an excuse, but it's been real bad days"

The candlelight is so flickering, you don't know if he's seen your eyes, but by the way he gulps, you think he did.

"Maybe... I could offer a helping hand"

Why had you said that? Are you out of your mind? You barely know the guy, who, by the way, had been a jackass to you like, five minutes ago. But he's hot! And you love to help!

Jesus, talk about dignity and boundaries.

"Y-you would?" he stammers, but the way his hand travels to your lap reveals nothing but security.

He's not asking if you've gone insane or what exactly you mean by that: he's just asking if you would do it.

Would you help?

"Don't you know, Eddie?" your voice drops a sultry octave, "I love to help".

You lean close enough for him to smell the cinammon scent of your skin. Soon, he's leaning too, playing along even against his better judgment. It's too soon, but he's so drawn into you and can't resist it no more; ever since he met you.

His cock twitches in his pants, "help me, then"

It happens too fast, one second you're sipping on your coffee, looking like the most warm and softhearted person in the world and now you're on your knees, deep into his carpet, tugging at his belt with your teeth, a hunger he hasn't seen before in your eyes and filthy needy mouth.

Sex with Anne was sweet and normal. Vainilla. You smell like it too, but there's a difference: you have the appetite of a siren.

Using your hands, you remove the leather your teeth had beggin with, moving them to tug his ripped jeans down, pulling the zipper too in the process. You keep using your mouth, now to get rid of his boxers, where the outline is tight over his cock. Eddie finds himself so aroused to the point he feels hot, even if there's a storm outside and the candle barely provides warmth.

"You sure have a mouth" he mumbles in ecstasy, drunk in the sight of your glimmering lips, coated in saliva. He's dripping too: everywhere.

His cock bounces out, almost hitting you in the face.

"Look at you" you coo, "already dripping for me. What a pretty cock you've got, Mr. Brock"

Fuck, he's going to hell after this. But you can't corrupt what's already corrupted.

"Then you better show me what you mean"

You lick the tip, already leaking with precum. He tenses momentarily, and then stiffle a moan when you take his balls into your mouth, a similar sound coming from you. You suck lightly at them, running your tongue along the sensitive skin.

His hips buckle into your face, and you have to chuckle at the fact it's probably the first time he's ever has his dick sucked this good.

"Don't stop" he huffs.

You obey, tongue tracing along the underside of his cock until you're back at his tip. Eddie's still inside his drunk haze when he feels you taking all of him inside your mouth in one single movement.

"Fuck-!" he chokes out, the thunder outside shutting the vulgar sounds coming out of his plush lips. "Think you can take more?"

His large hand touches the back of your head and pushes it forward with force. His cock presses deeper into your throat, tip hitting the back of it. You feel yourself gag, but the wet spot that's starting to form in your panties says otherwise.

He twists your hair tightly, holding you in place as he fucks your throat with his cock. You feel tears, and Eddie thinks he's never had a prettier sight than you: glossy eyes, looking up to him as you take all his cock.

"I know you can, baby" he presses, "help me like you said you would, yeah?"

His fat cock is blocking your air supply, but the subtle motivation and praise in his eyes is enough to keep you going, thought your throat ends up bulging from the size of his cock, stretching out to accommodate his size.

You said you would help, right? And even if you always do it for the altruist reward, something about being used in such a vulgar and rough way has your chest and panties feeling warm.

Brock groans, body sweating and muscles tense. He yanks you up by your hair, chasing the orgasm like an animal, every movement feeling almost primal.

"Stay there" he feels it coming, "don't move".

You gurgle something, spit rushing down your chin and dripping onto your chest.

"It's almost over, sweetheart" his eyes roll back, head resting on the coach he'd barely used until now, where he's fucking you in the mouth, "I knew that filthy mouth of yours could take me"

You open your mouth wider, anticipating. Tension releases: and he's pounding out his orgasm in your throat, hips banging into your face. You swallow it all, even if you can't taste it since he was so deep in you. He pulls out, a string of spit connecting his tip with your lips.

"Thanks" his voice comes out rough, "you do know how to help those in need"

You wipe your chin with your hand, voice hoarse, "I suppose"

There's some silence afterwards, and now Eddie is cursing he doesn't know what else to say.

"Power is still out" he speaks, "we've got some hours left until the sun rises again"

"So what's your idea?" you giggle, "tell scary stories in the dark?"

You both laugh, but you stop and deadpan. "Please don't, I get scared very easily" and you pout those pretty lips of yours out. How can you be such an adorable but greedy girl? It's hard to believe you're the same person.

"Not that" he swallows thickly. Why is he doing this? Was a blowjob (a fantastic blowjob, by the way) by a young insatiable thing like you enough to make him go mad? "I want to help you too".

Before you protest, he's pulling you and sealing your lips with a hot kiss. His tongue slips into your mouth, playing with it. He pulls out, biting your lower lip.

"Eddie" you whine, "b-bed, now"

He's supposed to be older and smarter, so why is his resolve melting away this quickly? Following your orders immediately, your back bouncing on the soft mattress of his bed. As soon as you lay, his lips trail kisses down your throat.

"God, you smell so good" you giggle, "bet this pussy will taste as sweet, huh?"

His cold fingertips grace the fabric of your tiny shorts and the touch gives you goosebumps, "look at you" he tugs your panties, nudging at your cunt. "So soaked... is this for me, baby?"

"Yes, Eddie" the way you say his name is enough to make even the strongest man fold, his dick jolting in response. "Take it"

Both of you remove your clothes in such a hurry, you hope you haven't damaged your favorite pair of pajamas.

"Let me see her" he demands, so you spread your legs, revealing your dripping pussy.

When you kiss again, the underlying carnal desire is mutual, saliva connecting in a silver thread as you both gasp for aire. Your hands wander across his chest, fingers playing with his tensing muscles.

"I promise to reward her, okay?" he lines his cock up with your entrance, the fat tip nudging against you, sticky with precum.

You're desperate with anticipation, practically begging, "please do".

He pushes inside you fully, balls slaping against your sticky clit hard. He’s so deep, pushing against your cervix and stretching you out with each thrust, making even the task of breathing painful and laborious.

Brock feels like he's ruined you, yet you look rather content. You've been used to giving; your kindness of a caretaker nature. You're used to giving your all and not receiving, so with every new thrust against you, his hips slamming, you know you'll never feel this pleasure again with anyone else, the delicious sense hitting you in waves that make you feel dizzy. So, in a way, he has ruined you.

"That desperate for me to fill you?" there's no answer, but the sound of rain and skin clapping against skin.

"Yes, give it to me” you sob, "Eddie, please!"

"Focus on taking it" he guides you. It may make him a pervert, but he isn't changing the sheets any time soon; they'll be covered in you and he'll smell them everytime he gets inside them. "I'm gonna cum"

You moan, lightly tugging at the strands of damp hazel hair. He chokes out a husky groan, heat pooling on his stomach.

Eddie's dick twitches inside you, cum filling your eager insides with the biggest load you’ve ever felt. Your pussy clenches, spasming, wrapping tighter around his length in a needy way, your high coming almost at the same time.

Both your breathes come out in ragged pants. He nuzzles against your neck, skins equally damped.

"Fuck"

As soon as those words leave his mouth, the power returns. You should go now, as this is the reason you stayed, but none of you make the move to leave.

"Stay?" he pleads, "It's still raining outside"

How can you say no to those brown puppy eyes? Does he think he can fuck you this good and then make you leave?

"Alright" you swear he smiles, and it's the prettiest smile you've seen in your life. Could you fall this easily in love? "But turn off the lights: I have work tomorrow and need some sleep"

"Whatever you say, baby" he nips at your lower lip, "you know I love to help"

[pan-annigans]

Jay x Nya: best ship!!!

Zane x Pixal: they are soulmates and no one can say otherwise.

Kai x Skylor: the two of them balance each other well, plus seeing Kai get all lovey-dovey around Skylor is just cute.

Lloyd x Akita: Akita likes Lloyd for himself and isn’t interested in his status as the Green Ninja, she just might be the one person he could be with without having to worry about keeping up appearances.

Cole x Vania: they’re just great together (as lovers or as friends), their dynamic is sweet and both admire and encourage each other with just simple honest words.

hi!! thank you so much!

I'm going to post art for all of these, along with a few of my thoughts on the ships that have been sent to me. Just for funsies :)

Fun fact, I used to hate Jaya. I thought it was really forced in the canon, and Jay's really obsessive behavior that is the catalyst for all of the events in Skybound always really bothered me? But tumblr has completely turned me around on this ship. They have their moments in canon, but in fanon they're really wonderful. thanks tumblr <3

these two...... 🥺they are really good i will admit. I'm a big fan of glaciershipping myself and I tend to prefer it over pixane, but these two are so lovely to each other and i totally see the appeal. I just wish pixal wasn't so sidelined in the canon fr what were they doing with her character??? let her be around more often let her and zane be sweet together. please smh

SKYLOR ALSO HAS NOTHING TO DO MOST OF THE TIME-- honestly this show sidelines like all of its female characters so hard. but these two are great toooo theyre sweeeet 😊 i just wish skylor was used for more than cameos. i like that she's the only one that can consistently shake kai's ego it's a great dynamic

lloyd and akita!! i'm gonna be so real with you guys i forget about akita so often ;v; which is a shame... i give her the award for most sidelined female character because she existed for half a season. but she and lloyd are sweet! I don't tend to ship lloyd with anyone personally, but i do love that they meet under the circumstances of "lloyd is in a world where his name and status mean nothing so he has no pressure to perform". it's a fantastic break for him. holy shit he deserves it

im gonna be so honest with all of you um. i actually. havent seen MotM yet. i was in the middle of my rewatch, and i got up to the point i stopped, right before MotM, and then Netflix changed their watch policies. and then of course i got busy

but from what i've seen of these two in fanon they seem alright! I usually prefer them in other wlw or mlm ships because of ONE ninjago vine compliation thing i saw with the two of them as this one tiktok and i've never been able to think of them as a couple since then. But they seem like they have a lovely friendship, whether that ends up turning to romance or not!

Thank you so much for sending me an ask, this was a lot of fun and I got to draw a lot of characters that I've never drawn before! To those of you who have sent me asks and reblogs and comments on the original post, I will be working through all of them in chronological order from when I received them in my activity tab :)

[indieninja92]

Hello! Sorry to reach out as a tumblr anon (I've just never been brave enough for ao3 comments sadly and I'm mostly a lurker in the GO fandom) but, I saw your post about the goobers fic and I just felt a strong urge to put something positive in your inbox and thank you so much for writing it :) It is, genuinely no exaggeration, one of my favourite fics I've ever read- I love all your fics tbh but this one's my favourite! Your take on them is so incredible and unique, and I think you capture their banter and their bond like no one else. There's such a sense of warmth and safety throughout as well that keeps me returning to it again and again. I adore every single chapter. I totally understand your decision to stop writing it too (I think readers can forget sometimes that such a decision often isn't easy for the authors! I'm sorry if you've heard self centred reactions) and while ofc I'd obviously jump at the chance to hear anything you're comfortable sharing about your plans for the rest of it, I also respect your right to keep that info to yourself if you want to far more! We as readers are not entitled to a single thing; we are gifted and so lucky for the chapters you wrote and chose to share with us. Thank you so much for the nine chapters you put out there- I know I absolutely will be returning to them for rereads <3

Thank you so much, this is so sweet!! I'm enormously proud of it, genuinely think it's some of the best writing I've ever done. Every chapter was an absolute joy to write, I loved the research process and getting into their heads for each new time period - and planning their little outfits! Fortunately I haven't had any negativity for abandoning it, the post yesterday was more a response to the anon message in the original post rather than reflecting my own experience. People have been very kind about it overall!

As for my plans for the rest, there wasn't a huge amount to go - we left off in the 1980s, and then we were going to jump to them raising a little 4 year old Warlock. I had a very cute scene planned of Warlock's dad being delighted the boy had asked for one of those toy cars they can drive around in because he wanted a big black one which his father assumed was because he wanted to look like a secret service guy, but is actually just because he loves being driven around in Nanny's Bentley. They were going to play some fun little kid games, probably bring back knucklebones, and then have a game of Scrabble (Crowley was going to cheat) before some Feelings Talk.

After that, I was going to do the bus ride home from Tadfield with them playing a game that I know as Cowboy Karaoke (one person picks a word and the other has to sing a bit of a song with that word in), more Feelings Talk while Crowley has a bath, and then a round of Gin Rummy after the body swap when they're feeling a bit too anxious to get to the looming franoodling. And then, of course, the franoodling!

Finally, I was going to do a little epilogue in the South Downs cottage which is mostly kissing, including Aziraphale dutifully keeping to the schedule that Crowley calculated in 1983 to pay his kiss debt. Also, Crowley finally finds out what the moon is.

[fleet-off]

VP in a Gothic setting? 👀 though of course locates and situated in Thai culture. Like VP already has the seeds of the Gothic.

Like think about it. In kinnporsche universe you have Korn locking up porsche's mom in a tower and no one is allowed to go to it. No one knows. Gun/Kan has wasted years thinking of this spectre and ruining Vegas/Macau's life. Vegas, the hound with that creepy symbolic painting ( i forget it's name) in his room. Vegas who remains drenched in blood. Vegas who catches Pete and locks him up and much like Korn would have loved to keep Pete in the safehouse.

Tawan's "ghost" haunts Porsche. Like!!!! With the right aesthetics kinnporsche could totally be a Gothic series.

Ooh, thanks for this ask, anon!

I do have to apologize in advance, because I am maybe going to have a wee semi-academic ramble in my response. You actually have me thinking a lot on the translation of aesthetics and traditions across cultures? Obviously, Gothic has European roots, and the origins of a tradition often play into its presentation in a multitude of ways that can make laying it uncritically atop another culture...thorny, to say the least.

That said, the Gothic has been broadened and translated and reinterpreted across a multitude of cultures, remolding its presentation to their traditions, superstitions, taboos, fears, etc. Because ultimately, Gothic tends more aesthetic than coherent genre, no? It’s a vibe, and a vibe can present itself in a thousand ways. These reiterated elements of fear, isolation, complicity, the ever-present reminders of a looming and violent past, the supernatural and macabre and grotesque--also the motifs you mention of imprisonment and specters (among many others)--appear all over the world in different forms and contexts.

So like. Fear, isolation, complicity, the violent past looming over the present. The ghosts of betrayal and loved ones long gone but still here, the layers of secrets, the woman in the attic, the ah. Repressive, semi-incestuous, all-consuming, glittering trap the family represents. KinnPorsche misses the mood of the Gothic, but the elements and motifs are there to play with for sure! I see your vision, anon 😂

Actually, my Stable Delusion WIP miiiight fall somewhere along the lines of what you’re wishing for with regard to VP. (If only it were complete...😅)

...Hah. You know what? I’m not posting more of that fic to Ao3 ’til the whole thing’s in its final form, but there’s no harm sharing the drafted first chapter here on Tumblr. Incoming!

[thekidsarentalright]

HELLO I SURVIVED!! my voice is extremely fucked up from screaming and my legs hurt but i’m alive!! i feel like there’s so much stuff i need to ramble abt so i’m just gonna write a fuckin essay here lmao i’m so sorry 😭

ok so the stage looked SO cool in person. the backdrops were gorgeous <3 and everything was like a physical prop, not projections… including the giant replica of bubbles the dog <3 pete kept pretending to put his hand in its mouth and patrick was singing to it! and the pyro was insane, i could feel the heat from it and i was Not super close to the stage. they Also had a clock on the side of the stage that would go backwards every so often… like going back in time to play older songs 😭

UM?!?! THAT SETLIST?!?!?! ginasfs was NOT a possibility in my head at all, so that was absolutely insane, my god!!! everyone was like “???” after pete said they’d never played it live. and then it started and my brain literally blacked out. like my only thought was “there’s no way this is happening, what the FUCK”. that song is so important to me and honestly was one of the first ones i remember loving when i got into fob, so that was a whole moment!! if there’s a different song every time that’s so scary, i SO hope u get the song u want if that’s the case! <333

“don’t forget who left the light on 20 years ago” had me tearing up and then all the tttyg stuff… fob wants us all dead fr! and THEN HEAVEN IOWA?! AND HEADFIRST SLIDE?!?!?! i was HOLLERING the whole time, my throat still hurts 💀 and FAKE OUT OMG WHERE DO I EVEN START 😭 the pink lights worked and it looked so pretty!!! it took some ppl a minute to get theirs set up, so the stadium kinda gradually lit up more and more and by the middle of the song it was fully lit! i swear i saw the exact moment where patrick realized what was going on and he smiled so big <3 i teared up so hard (was trying not to cry bc i had glitter on my face lol… i kinda cried anyway) and then pete gave us a shoutout! i’m def keeping my seashell on like… my wall or smth <3

also the covers!! that first song patrick did at the piano is lake shore drive, it’s actually what he was playing in that tiktok of him in the studio back in like… february! (it’s the piano thing right after the clip of him playing trumpet) my mom recognized it when i was watching that video originally and asked why he was playing it, so i already knew the song… was Not expecting it live tho 🤯 and then don’t stop believing?!?! we were all v confused but excited lmao… and then crazy train a bit later 😅

and pete did baby annihilation!! honestly when i said he could do it and i��d cheer, i did NOT expect him to actually do it lmaoo… but he did and it was fantastic!! hold me like a grudge was also incredibly fun, it goes so hard live <3 shoutout to the ppl who were doing the clapping during the bridge w me lol

every time patrick started talking he’d go “hi” in this soft voice and i was just like “HIIIII 🥺” AND HE WORE DOC MARTENS!!! AAAA 💓 he was so sunshiny and just skipping around like usual <3

OH ALSO!! idk what the other venues on this tour are like, but wrigley has this thing above the stage where they have a couple different flags, and all except one of them were changed out to be the smiley face logo!! it reminded me of when they planted their flag in the lftos music video and i got emotional looking at it 😭 like. they did it!! and it’s so obvious they’re excited to be doing all this!! ur gonna have an absolute blast at your show for Sure!

(the openers were fucking amazing too, i totally didn’t process that tai was playing until literally right before they came onstage. and then they covered snakes on a plane and were like “iykyk” and i very nearly died lmao)

(alsooooo congrats on finishing ur first year of college!! happy stardust summer! mwah ���)

- 🧋 anon

SOOO sorry to be answering this a couple days later tumblr never showed me i got it!!!!! ANYWAYS

ohhhhh my god it sounds like it was such a fantastic like. incredibly special concert, i'm so happy for u!!! the setlist and the set itself literally blew my mind as i was watching a livestream of the show like????? my god they really pulled out ALLL the stops while also keeping the classics on there, really a setlist to please Everyone i think?? also w the set like. all the animatronic stuff and different backgrounds and everything. patrick was Not kidding when he said this show was visually different than anything they'd ever done before i am. SOOOO impressed. actually both by that and the stardust project, i remember something similar happened for mania tour and it was really pretty (kept my cutouts and still have them!!!) so im VERY glad it's happening this time for fake out <333 they deserve to see all of our love in every way possible <333

SO interesting that that's what he was playing on that tiktok omg he was practicing for so longggggg.... insane that ur show got a special lil piano mashup and then last night he did what a time to be alive.... so curious to see if its wattba forever now or if that's gonna be different each night Too!!!

and YEAHHH baby annihilation being on the setlist is making me soooo ;__; every time i think abt it im sooooo proud of pete for like. being confident enough to do That in front of thousands of people. also made me so happy to see patrick skipping around stage in his slay lil outfit like all four of them were SOOO happy u could tell i just. god i love them, they DID it they had their lil flag planted and played such a good show. last nights show was no doubt so good and special too from every video i've seen i just. i Know this tour is gonna be the tour of a lifetime, im SOOO excited for my show and also so glad urs was such a wonderful time and experience like u got so many special lil things!!! ginasfs and snakes on a plane etc!!!!!!!!! loved hearing all of this <33333

[kittyrob0t]

my roman empire

as a 14 year old kid learning about indie rock music and the exploration of ballet flats in preparation for college (I've advanced), I've become fond - to use the term fond is such an understatement - of Arctic Monkeys and ofcourse, Alex Turner and Alexa Chung. They came at a time where Tumblr had nothing but a distinguishable niche of black and white, flash photography and red lipstick. I was immediately consumed. As an child without siblings, constantly on Pinterest, Tumblr and Lookbook; and scowering the internet for illegal copies of my favorite albums before the dawn of Spotify, I made their existence a part of my psyche. And even now as a 25 year old, grown and have continuously ventured into other interests, others that more suit my preferences - I always gravitate back to this, a part of my adolescent existence, and once a year or even more so on occasions I can't recall, I deep dive into their relationship. A four year partnership solidified by images on Google and countless articles praising their bond and I can't help but feel a pang of pain each passing year I return to my Google searches and find lesser and lesser articles of them - well not really lesser, but just pushed back by the number of things that the media would likely offer, the new things, the present things they're actually on to. And in my parasocial relationship, a trio that never existed outside of my mind, I dread the day I won't be able to re read old articles of their love. Totally acknowledging the absurdity of this blog entry alone, I think it's mainly because its one of the few things I've actually been a fan of, and I rarely become a fan of anything really. Or maybe the amount of fandoms I enter is a fair amount, but just not shared by the general public which is hard when you want someone to converse about it with. In some wicked part of me, I want to combine all Tiktok videos of manifesting all to get them back together - surely there's a way. But of course, they're both happy where they are now, and people like me are the only one's clinging on to this forgotten piece in pop culture history. I saw an article that discussed this, I believe it was from InStyle, titled 'I'll Never Forget When Alexa Chung's Love Letter from Alex Turner Was Found in a Bar' to be more specific, it was under the website's category 'Breakups That Broke Us' (a weekly column about the failed celebrity relationships that convinced us love is dead). I suggest you read it, because she perfectly encapsulates some of the feelings I have for writing this entry.

I think its also because I'm just generally terrified of love, albeit my relationships and ventures, it's always been something so delicate I normally wouldn't dabble in it. I think too much, worry and dream on what can be a little over normal that sometimes it may be better to just stick to being alone. But maybe it has also been an effect of the latter, by being alone too much I've become ingulfed in media and literature that I can only tolerate men's behavior when they're fictional or not in the presence of my own life. But maybe not just that as well, as a gender fluid person, I often think of taking the men out the equation and just dating women. But I think sometimes consuming too much media makes me aloof about the world and often just want to crawl into a hole and not have to think or decide anything.

I originally planned on writing this entry with Arctic Monkey's in the background, but the 14 year old inside me is heaving from chest pains of the unknown and its laughable. Almost want to write "haha" into it, and I may have just cleverly made a way to do that ;)

[butraura]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @watchyourbuck <3

How many works do you have on AO3? > 17 (and a ton on fanfiction.net)

What's your total AO3 word count? > 158,720 words

What fandoms do you write for? > If we're just talking AO3, I've written for Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The 100, Girl Meets World, Teen Wolf, Shadowhunters, and 9-1-1. Right now, I am only writing for 9-1-1 and I have a WIP I SWEAR I will get back to eventually. On FanFiction.net, I've written for Austin & Ally, Sailor Moon, and possibly some I've forgotten.

What are you top 5 fics by kudos? a. anchored (30,000 words) (9-1-1) (527 kudos) b. for your life, for your love (7,410 words) (9-1-1) (320 kudos) c. electrify me (8,625 words) (9-1-1) (168 kudos) d. the silent treatment (2,493 words) (9-1-1) (156 kudos) e. cracked ribs (9,99 words) (9-1-1) (148 kudos)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? > Sometimes. I don't ignore people on purpose, I just often get overwhelmed and/or forget. I do ignore hate comments because they're not worth my time.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? > I think all of the stories (that I've actually finished) (on AO3) have had good endings to counteract the angst in them.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? > Maybe "for your life, for your love".

Do you get hate on fics? > I never used to lol. But that's changed in the last two weeks. It's pretty rampant now and it's trickled over to Tumblr. My philosophy is: if you don't like the plot, don't read the story.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? > I have... it's not a thing I do often lol. I give myself the ick when I do it lol. It's pretty vanilla though.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? > I don't think I ever have actually

Have you ever had a fic stolen? > Not as far as I'm aware

Have you ever had a fic translated? > I don't think it's ever happened, but someone did reach out to me once to ask if they could translate and post one of my fics in Russian. Unfortunately, I didn't see the message until literally over a year later. I would have said yes but I don't know if it was ever done.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? > Never

What's your all-time favourite ship? > It's extremely difficult to answer that because I am well-rounded girlie that grew up on TV. But; I'd say probably Buck and Eddie (Buddie) and Bellamy and Clarke (Bellarke).

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? > The only WIP I can think of that I care about this much is a Shadowhunters fic called Empires. I will do it but I just honestly don't know when.

What are your writing strengths? > Dialogue. I try really hard to make the words my characters say sound exactly like the way they'd speak in their original media.

What are you writing weaknesses? > I put such a heavy hand into dialogue that I feel like I forget to build the rest of the story. Also, finishing something. The amount of WIPs I have is atrocious.

Thought on writing dialogue in another language? > If you want to, go for it, but don't rely on Google Translate to do it for you. I typically only put Spanish or Latin in my fics and I have the help of fluent people so that the languages correctly translate. Use the tools at your disposal.

First fandom you ever wrote for? > In general, it was Austin & Ally when I was newly 14 years old lol. On AO3, it was Teen Wolf (Why Are You Half Naked?)

Favorite fic you've ever written? It was definitely anchored. It's a newer one but I am so proud of the work I put into it.

tags! (I'm sorry, I had a list of people that specifically asked to be tagged and I fricken lost it... please let me know again if you'd like to be tagged in my random fic-related posts).

[chaoticpallascat]

Hi, thanks for writing such a detailed reply! You didn't come off combative at all, I can also feel that frustration with poorly designed apps (and there are so many of them. UGH). I also agree that AO3's mobile web experience is already way better than many other. There are accessibility advantages for web versions too, for instance when local storage is a problem. So I totally understand why some people may not want to switch to an AO3 app. I hope it didn't come across as anything else :))

For the two things I wasn't clear on:

With apps I can have a tab for search and results, a tab for fics, history, etc, and they would all be accessible directly from the nav bar/side bar.

What do you mean by a "tab" here?

By "tabs" I mean these UI elements in apps (marked 1-4):

These app tabs have two features that are important to me. Firstly, they are static. They don't scroll with the page content - they remain in the same place, accessible all the time. Secondly, what happens in each tab is independent of one another. If I click into tab 1, scroll down a bit, and then click into tab 2 to do something else, then when I come back to tab 1, I can count on it to remain exactly where I left off. An example of this at work would be Tumblr app, where I can switch between posts from search results and posts from people I follow with just one tap, and each time I switch I know I'll be able to pick up exactly where I left it. Eessentially what this amounts to is a reliable "continue reading" feature, which is important to me because I often jump between different fics (attention issues). Especially for long-form chapters (like 10000+ words/chapter), where I would jump between that fic and one shots from, say, my bookmarks. If I have to go back and re-scroll to where I left off each time, it would be a huge pain.

You're right that on AO3 mobile the bookmarks, search and browsing can all be accessed through the header and generally under 4 clicks. But currently the headers move up with the rest of the page, and once you scroll down you have to scroll all the way up to access the header. They also don't behave independently of each other. If I'm on the Search page and want to go check out something in my bookmark, I go to a new URL when I click on "bookmark". Whatever progress I made on the original page is now lost. So although the AO3 header provides navigation, it's not the same experience. Now, one way around this would be to open "bookmarks" in a new tab, which is what I do now. But the thing with mobile browsers is they often (for lack of a better word) silence inactive tabs, so when you go back to that tab it will automatically reload. So, again, it's not a reliable "continue reading" experience.

Of course, the "continue reading" thing would not be a problem if I download the long chapters. But if I do that, I can very easily forget to comment or leave kudos...

And about this:

An app can automatically download the chapter I’m reading the moment I open it, and maybe even the whole work. So I can pick it up if I have to go into offline mode later.

....Can they?

Yes! For instance, Cubox (a Read-It-Later) app downloads and processes an article the moment you send it there. You don't even need to open the article itself, it's already offline for you. I don't know how the app works exactly but I presume it syncs storage whenver you open the app.

It doesn't have to be that fancy, though. What I want to avoid is just the frustrating experience where you open your mobile browser to read something you were in the middle of, only to find out the page is reloading and is getting nowhere because your connection is down. To avoid this, all an app has to do is to download the chapter to local storage when I open it, and then delete it after I move on to another chapter. You can already see this in action in many music apps. Try turning off data and wifi while in the middle of a song, and you might notice the music doesn't immediately stop. There is usually at least a good ten seconds more music even when there's no internet. That's because that ten seconds have been downloaded. My ideal AO3 app just does this for the whole chapter.

I'm not familiar with apps you mentioned but if you know Chinese there's an app called Jinjiang (offers original fiction works you pay to read by chapter) which has exactly this feature. They also have the option to always auto-purchase & download the next 5 chapters, so you always have at least 5 chapters of fic regardless of internet situation. You don't even have to go into the settings for this - It's a box you can tick when you purchase each chapter.

Hope this clears things up.

the worst thing that could possibly happen to ao3 is it being put on the app store so please stop asking for it because you don't understand what would happen if that went through. ao3's whole deal is it archives EVERYTHING, while the apple app store's whole deal is keeping everything clean and safe. so if ao3 were to have an app all of the 'bad' stuff, including nsfw in general, would have to be censored at best or would be purged at worse. the google play store is more lax but who fucking knows what GOOGLE would police if they got their hands on the archive. do not ask for an app. do not use third party apps. it's on mobile browser functioning perfectly, just fucking use that before you ruin everything for everyone please.

[gleefullypolin]

Trying to stay neutral in the face of some of the worst takes you've ever seen is...hard. I try to remember that I may have had the same takes if you took away 10+ years of my fandom experiences. Kneejerk reactions and doom spiraling is very much how I expect younger me might have acted. Though I could do without how literally things are taken at the moment, that's tiring.

Glad to be of service! 🫡 If my main weren't connected to a side blog for another fandom where I know I'd bring possible unwanted attention to myself I'd happily out myself.😄

The double standards: it's very sigh worthy in general and I don't disagree, the men and some specifically, are being held to a standard that was probably unfair to hold them to in the first place. I do realize that a lot of stuff has been fanon or built up the last couple of years and I get it, it's hard to lose your idea of someone. I do think that there's a good chance that men in our ships in general are being held to a standard of the female gaze that isn't about physicality but female empowerment in general. So many men judge women for having sex then immediately do what they're saying women shouldn't do.

It's not really fair to the male characters but the idea that a man would wait for and only want one woman, to be powerless against her in the way women are often portrayed for men in regular media--I get it the appeal that it would carry for some. Men are usually held to a standard of some kind they're sure to miss. If you asked me do I remember meeting my significant other I can tell you details and time and place but if you asked him I'd bet he'd not be able to say much other than he says he knows I was it for him.

I'm with you, I hope that people remember that these are real people not the characters they play and even if they were, to mind their manners.

I have come to just not enjoy screeners at all over the years. I remember one using an emoji for something and you can only imagine how that went. They were biased on top of it and were 100% wrong in its intent. It was a little much.

I think if both scenes are true then we have to have the first one to have the other and the latter one is the only one that matters. The audience is not going to remember a sentence or a throwaway line but they'll remember the scenes themselves. If a throwaway line is enough to get the point across in a visual medium, there's no need to have him staring at her longingly. There's no need to create physical tension between them. They can just tell each other and whoop, problems solved.

I think this, if true, can be handled better but I also think people in fandom forget the largest audience is a general one and they're going to need some hand holding reminders of what's going on. Colin being unable to perform is a damning indictment of what he's done to himself and just how much Penelope affects him. And I have to say that two scenes I'd wager are less than 2-3 minutes total are not going to ruin the romance of a show that's going to have 8 near one hour episodes.

If anything about any of it was even mentioned to Penelope or at all after the fact I would be very surprised. This sort of thing feels very much just a way to establish something with Colin himself. I wouldn't be sad to see it not be true but if it is, I feel it's gotten more importance in fandom than the show is ever going to give it.

I can't imagine Colin being needlessly cruel to Penelope, his words were thoughtless and I'd love to know his side of that story but irrespective of romantic feelings, this man cares deeply for her as it is.

Oh my I went back and checked my original Tumblr blog and I first posted 13 years ago and I still cringe immensely as some of the takes I had back then. Spiraling doesn’t even begin to touch what I was doing back then. Like girl, we had full on meltdowns, actual knock down drag out fights, and even in person stand offs in our fandom. I laugh about it now, most of us are either friends, or acquaintances who see each other around on Facebook or twitter but none of it even matters anymore.

But it got so bad there before the show ended that I eventually abandoned that blog and ended up starting over years later AFTER OUAT had pretty ended on my Captain Swan blog where that family is just a very lovely group of women that have tolerated my absolute abandonment due to my complete anxiety of life. Lol

I didn’t know what to expect with Bridgerton, or even what to expect with a regency type show, it really wasn’t my type of show. And I didn’t know that it had existing books with it until after I had seen season 1. All the girls at work were like “OH girl swoon, you have to watch this show.” And I have a very lovely friend, Natalie, who had written a book called “Emmie and the Tudor King” about the Tudors and I was trying very hard to learn all the rules around that world, so I thought what the hell, lets try this. And now here the hell I am! In another fandom with an actively shooting show.

But after season 1 and 2 with Simon, Anthony, and Benedict, I just figured it make 100% sense that Colin would end up sleeping around. LOL because damn…there is always one seen isn’t there. Maybe it’s a Shondaland thing, or a timeframe thing, but its definitely a theme and its coming to our screen whether we want it or not. I saw a comment earlier today somewhere that if we got up and went to the bathroom during it, it would be over before we got back, so I’m taking solace in that!

I hope they treat Nic and Luke with respect after the season airs. I’ve met my fair share of seeing the actors take the heat of their characters and I have a hole in my heart for the trauma I carry around that fandom I spoke of earlier with how fandom got involved in the actors lives and the result. Again, being young and seeing the spirals of fandom, I feel like I could write a book lol.

Lets get rid of screeners. I get why they have them, pump the hype, but do they? Or do they pump the anger and anxiety? Sometimes they use their “power” to pump the ship wars or stir the wrong sentiment. I know the saying is that all attention is good PR but is it really?

I can’t imagine that Pen finds out about the women or the visit he makes there. I mean yes she or perhaps more likely LW may have something to say about his sudden swagger or new found ladies man behavior, but Pen is not a delicate flower either. She is Lady Whistledown and I don’t think she will wilt. I think last season may have hardened her a bit.

[b-rainlet]

Rating all Katja Songs!!

As the world’s loudest Katja Stan (at least on tumblr) and since her new album is dropping on Friday, here are my - totally serious and backed up by science and shit - ratings on her former albums/singles/features and my prediction for the upcoming album (that's gonna be an extra post though): 

We start (chronologically) with all her stand alone singles and the features: 

Singles

Doggy (song about Doggy Style) - 30/10 her first song ever, aka a classic

Dicke Lippen (song about Blowjobs) - 13/10 solely for the way she pronounces Chupa Chups

Sex Tape (obv about making a Sex Tape) - Infinity/10 instant game changer. You wanna improve my mood? You wanna make me sing and dance? Play this. (also the music video??? Doing it for me, ngl) 

Plus, the line “In mir waren mehr Männer drin als im trojanischen Pferd” (there were more men inside me than in the trojan horse) will go down in history (to me) as the most metal thing a rapper has ever said

Crush (song about being better than everybody else aakjslakjldj) - 20/10 it’s not on Spotify because it’s exclusively on Amazon Music but that song is fucking insane tbh 

You’re My Heart You’re My Soul (remake of the og song from Modern Talking, only in German) - 11/10 is it mainstream? Yeah. Do I still listen to it regularly? Hell yeah. 

Features

Best Friend (yes, it’s a feature with Saweetie and Doja Cat, who would’ve thought) - 9/10 I like it more than the original tbh

Bad Bitch (feature with a lesser known rapper called Eunique, content: The usual ‘I made it’ rap stuff) - 10/10 I don’t listen to this often enough but everytime I do, I remember what a banger it is 

Raindrops engl. Version (heartbreak pop song with Leony) - 7/10 The german Version is on one of Katja’s albums, the english one on Leony’s album and Katja, sweetie, I love you so much but english isn’t your language askjsldjad

Hotel (feature with Nimo about hitting it and quitting it) - 19/10 Genuinely one of her best features, absolutely adore the ad libs (if that’s what it’s called)

Moving on to all her albums!! (there are three total so far)

1st Album Boss Bitch

UHUH (song about how lame fuckboys are)  - 12/10 “Yeah, I can totally rap!” *starts singing this*

Rodeo (song about doing it in various positions) - 10/10 exact same melody as Casino (also on this album), only a lot more nsfw “Was für Schmetterlinge, Ich hab Schwänze im Bauch” (Forget about butterflies, I’ve got dicks in my stomach)

Gucci Girl (Barbie Girl Melody but it’s about being a Gucci Girl - but still made of plastic) - 12/10 Insiders claim this was actually supposed to be part of the Barbie Movie Soundtrack, but they couldn’t afford it

Frühstück ans Bett (song about stringing along a guy who has a gf <;3) - 15/10 a personal fave, her little giggle in the end? I want her to walk all over me

Lolli (song about having sex with women! Because Katja is Bi!!) - 13/10 I WILL strip to this song one day, you just wait

Sugar Daddy (song about acquiring a Sugar Daddy) - 20/10 another classic, will play at my wedding

Nudes (song about wanting a guy to send his nudes) - 26/10 obsessed!! Will play during my funeral and I need everybody to dance to it 

Liebeslieder (song about getting tired of a fling who keeps wanting more) - 12/10 Would probably break up with my bf just on principle if I listened to this to often

Wer Bist Du (iconic song about being better than everybody else because she is) - 25/10 LITERAL LITERAL LITERAL LEGEND! The music Video? Fucking iconic (she’s naked in it), “Hate nicht die Bitch, hate das Game” (don’t hate the bitch, hate the game)???? Invented Feminism, her ad libs? The cutest, I am on my knees

Alles Bounct (song about shaking your tits and ass basically) - 14/10 love dancing to this

Boss Bitch (the main song from this album, about being the best basically - it’s rap, you know how it is) - 17/10 I loved her Boss Bitch Era so much, you don’t get it

Casino (song about driving around in her car and being melancholic - she really likes those) - 11/10 one of the few not overly sexual songs on this album, often seen as one of her ‘better’s songs because it’s not about ‘immature’ things like sex, but fuck that. Still a good song though. “Ihr seid gefickt als wärt ihr (censored)” (You’re fucked like you’re (censored))

Kein Problem (more upbeat song about not caring about other people) - 15/10 random mention of Daenerys, even though Katja never makes pop culture references

Ein Ander Mal (song about being perfectly happy staying single) - 18/10 this song<33 A hidden gem and wayyy too underrated

General Rating of this Album: 26/10 You can’t really compare it to her other albums because it was her first and her sound later changes (not super drastically, but these songs are all explicit and the following albums aren’t save for one or two songs) plus the songs on her other albums tend to be more personal.

2nd Album Eure Mami (Your Mommy)

Million Dollar A$$ (feature with Fler about ??? Idk, but listen to it, it’s so awesome) - 30/10 Legend Status tbh, the music video alone is wild

Wir bleiben wach (song about partying) - 10/10 after that banger opener, this song is a bit too forgettable 

Stottert die Bitch (the usual rap song about how much you’ve archived) - 22/10 The Heel Sound? Obsessed. It works better as the Main Song™ than the one this album is named after tbh

Du bringst mich um (song about a dysfunctional relationship) - 15/10 you would think Katja’s Songs don’t revolve around heartbreak but a surprising amount of them do

Ich Seh (song that’s slightly more personal about the shit she’s been through) - 17/10 a calmer song for a change, may make more sense if you know about her background, especially the music video - the black dress in said music video? I think about it often

Böse Mädchen (song about making a pact with the devil) - 16/10 You heard right folks, Katja sold her soul to the devil for fame! Conspiracy Theorists Unite!

Tiktok Baddie (song that’s basically her describing how awesome she is) - 20/10 an underrated song tbh and I stand by the opinion that this one or Stottert die Bitch should’ve gotten a Music Video

(at this point I regret giving summaries of the songs because rap songs usually don’t have much going on besides bragging ahskhskaj, but nobody will read all this anyway so fuck it)

Alles Schon Gesehen (song about being over an ex, but knowing he isn’t over you) - 18/10 man, do I hate my nonexistent ex

Die Hübsche (song which basically takes a popular tiktok sound and makes a song out of it lmao) - 25/10 what can I say? It fucking works! I love how often she mentions that surgery was done on her body, she is 100% plastic and she doesn’t give a fuck and also she’s cool enough to be able to make jokes about it, plus there’s some whispering in this which earns 5 points alone

Spicy (song about showing the haters) - 18/10 she drops a line here about making a movie out of her published biography and I’ve been waiting for it ever since this album dropped in 2021 - I will be in this movie, I don’t care how, I don’t care what I do, I need to be in a movie about Katja’s Life, also pls appreciate this line in particular “Scheiß auf deinen Hate Junge, nur meine Mom und die Pussy sind heilig” (don’t care about your hate boy, only my Mom and the pussy are holy)

Highway (feature with Elif where she’s once again sitting in a car being sad) - 16/10 the only(!) Katja Song/Music Video I’ve ever seen on tv, therefore the only one not too sexual for the mainstream charts apparently. There’s also a live session version of this on Katja’s Youtube Channel where Luna is singing the chorus, but it has too little Katja for my taste so - 9/10

Tsunami (another song about having made it) - 9/10 sadly, one of her weaker songs

Friendzone (upbeat song about annoying guys and where to put them) - 27/10 unofficial anthem for all the women who say ‘girlie <3’

Eure Mami (THE Song on this album™) - 21/10 love the giggling in the beginning, although I think it’s supposed to be the girls who used to bully her??

General Rating of this Album: 30/10 This Album is more about the usual rap song stuff (I got so much money, my lines are so much better than yours, I can’t hear/see/won’t acknowledge my haters) but tbh? The songs all sound different enough it isn’t repetitive, and all the beats fuck hard. And the lines tend to reference her life and the trauma she experienced more.  

Definitely her best album so far imo.

3rd Album Pussy Power

Intro (basically a summary of her whole life so far) - 50/10 I don’t listen to it often because it’s not really a sing-along song, but how could I not rate it this high? Her life story is the reason why I’m such a big fan (just as a brief summary: she was raised in poverty, lost one of her brothers to suicide and the other to cancer when she was around 12, was bullied all her life for the way she dresses, is constantly being denied a place within the industry because she likes having sex and is open about having gotten her boobs/ass/face done, and she gets criticized 10 times more harshly for everything she does, she isn’t ‘allowed’ to be a feminist despite constantly standing up for women because she is ‘doing it wrong’, she is a divorce kid and her Father was abusive as fuck, he threatened to kill her Mother multiple times and molested her friends when they were all around 9. She is also bisexual and very loud about supporting the queer community <3. In summary: She is me but better (and richer)). 

Moonlight (sad in a car! Once more!) - 10/10 it’s too generic for me, plus the autotune is too noticeable imo

SOS (basically crush but even meaner) - 15/10

Pussy Power (The first release of this album, which got my hopes up way too high tbh) - 25/10 a classic Katja song that’s solely about having sex, absolutely iconic, the mattress creaking gets 10 points on its own tbh

Onlyfans (song about her Onlyfans profile - which she does possess, yeah) - 22/10 the chances of me starting an Onlyfans increase by 0,1% everytime I listen to this

Moonwalk (generic Party Song) - 9/10 I think it’s a mistake to have two songs which start with Moon and then expect me not to forget about them

Raindrops (heartbreak pop song with Leony, but this time only the Chorus is in English) - 16/10 the german/english mixture works surprisingly well, also the music video has big ‘Physical’ vibes and idk why, but there’s the sound of a whip in this so, how can you not love it??

Lipgloss (song about guy being hung up on her) - 11/10 truly makes me wonder how many people’s hearts she broke (‘Fun’ Fact: She’s a nymphomaniac and has a history of cheating because of her addiction, but she’s got it under control now)

Details (song about a One Night Stand) - 13/10 her german pronunciation of english/french words is so fucking funny askajdkla

Narben (feature with Marwin Balsters about all the bullying they endured) - 16/10 you don’t get it, that’s not some singer she makes a feature with, that’s her best friend and the only person who was ever there for her and they’ve known each other for years and now both of them are making music with each other and he signed under her and honestly? That’s such a goal, hope I get wealthy and famous just so I can make all my friends feature in my content to show them off

Aventador (it’s hard being successful) - 9/10 it’s too slow for me (keep in mind that I’m a metalhead usually, even though it doesn’t seem like it, but I need songs which will make me go death within the next few years - harder, faster, better

Drop It (song vagueing other rappers) - 13/10 but a sped up version of this? 20/10 

No Men No Cry (Mrs. Steal your Giiiirl) - 15/10 I should listen to this more often

Vordertür (party song about being better than you) - 16/10 

General Rating of this Album: 16/10 is it noticeable that I don’t like this album as much? A little maybe? I will be honest, I am probably judging this more harshly than necessary because I was so into Eure Mami that this one just couldn’t compare. It is missing the usual Katja Bite to me and even though her second album is also more mainstream, it’s still very Katja. This one not so much. But you gotta take all these ratings with a grain of salt because I don’t listen to this album enough to be sure about my assessments. Maybe it will grow on me one day. 

Pussy Power Bonus EP

These are four additional songs which are not available anywhere via streaming but exist on an extra CD you get when you buy the album. The problem with that is that I don’t have the ability as of now to actually listen to CDs regularly so I heard all of these like…3 times?? so far. So, you can’t really be sure of my opinion on them (also you can find them on Youtube, but it’s garbage quality). 

Slowmo (song about how now people wanna be friends with her) - 10/10 it’s okay, would probably even grow on me if I listened to it more often

Dollar Signs (Money is a girl’s best friend) - 9/10 because I expected more

Suizid (song about repeated cheating on your partner <3) - 11/10 I could make so many angsty edits with this if it were in english

Fick mit wem du willst (song about having a casual relationship but the other party keeps wanting more) - 12/10 honestly the best one of the extra songs

General Rating: 10/10 I’m sorry Queen, I just prefer your older stuff. 

[lejaybleu]

the fuck is this blog

wow i'm so glad you asked!

i've spent a longggg ass time on this site (long enough i can't say how long exactly in case you know how to subtract. whoops.) and haven't made a proper intro post for the whole duration. this is it! this is the one. have fun reading this? i guess?

basics

i'm kind of a fandom blog, kinda not? i mostly reblog and don't post original stuff often, but i do occasionally, and that stuff is either just my thoughts or sometimes fandom content. i am part of many, many different fandoms, so if you came here for one thing, expect to see other stuff too! also, i do engage in discourse and post politics. i do understand that some people come here to escape the world we live in, and that is 100% valid, but as an 18 year old american student with not much income to speak of, engaging in civil discourse online is one of the ways i stay politically active since that's accessible to me. if that bothers you, this probably isn't the blog for you!

triggers, tone indicators and nsfw

i'm not going to share my triggers for my own personal safety, and also because they are the kind of thing that get tagged for being fucked up anyways. i am totally willing to tag for triggers myself (i usually use "// [thing]" as a trigger tag, so if you don't have that blocked for the trigger in question, do that!), and usually i remember to tag common triggers. if you have a less common/more general trigger or just one you've seen me not tag for, PLEASE feel free to dm me/send me an ask and i will absolutely start tagging that for you! if you're an existing follower and i post things with your trigger without tagging for it and you'd like me to start tagging, please also feel free to let me know. i'm trying to become better about tagging for triggers and i understand it's important, so just reach out if you have any concerns in that department.

as for tone indicators/tone tags, i sometimes use them and i sometimes don't. if you'd like me to use them more or for specific things, just shoot me a dm or an ask, but know that i am often very forgetful when it comes to tone tags specifically so i can't guarantee anything

i do sometimes reblog nsfw content. i always tag for it- if you have "nsfw"/"// nsfw" blocked you should be all good if that's not stuff you wanna see- but please take this into account before following me and follow at your own discretion. you have been warned

politics

i am a queer radical leftist and a trans-inclusive feminist!! i am primarily a socialist, but anarchocommunism is neat too. i believe all people are people and are deserving of respect, resources they need to live, and resources they need to be happy. i'm pro-choice, pro-bodily autonomy in general for all people (including disabled folks), pro-queer, pro-trans, pro-woman, pro-inclusion and pro-respectful dialogue. i am anti-capitalism, anti-language/label policing, anti-generalization of any group of people, anti-exclusion, anti-racism, anti-sexism, anti-bigotry, and anti-reactionism. i want to be clear i am not anti people- i do my best to respect everyone regardless of their views, but while i respect every individual, i believe i have no obligation to respect every individual's/group's beliefs.

as for the very prominent discourse on tumblr about shipping fictional characters, i think it's really fucking stupid that people feel so strongly about others finding solace in imagining certain fictional characters kissing or fucking or whatever. if you are one of these people: go outside, touch grass, and funnel that anger into issues that actually affect people's real lives (e.g. reproductive rights being taken away, the policing system, the healthcare system... stuff like that.)

also, please be aware these are my views NOW, as of the date on this post. as i've said i've been on this website for a hot minute and my views have shifted and changed over that time period, so if you find something from like 2019 that totally contradicts what i've said here, that is why.

dni

i don't believe in not interacting with people purely based on their beliefs or random characteristics about them (this is a personal thing. i don't think there's anything morally bad about having a dni) if you are capable of having a civil dialogue and respecting me and my identity, i'm happy to have a good faith discussion about pretty much anything, no matter what your views are. that being said, if you are not in fact capable of that, please leave me alone thanks. also if i fall into your dni, do yourself a favor and don't interact with me

fandoms

if it has a * next to it, i used to be into it and am not really now

life is strange

miraculous ladybug*

voltron: legendary defender*

dream smp/new mcyts*

heartstopper

killing eve

young royals

stitchers

shadowhunters*

winx club

andi mack*

glee*

the arcana

detroit: become human

buzzfeed unsolved/watcher

unus annus

the stormlight archives

heathers (the musical)

dear evan hansen (the musical)*

be more chill (the musical)

a lot of broadway and off-broadway musicals to be honest

personal stuff

if you've read my bio, you already know the drill: i'm jay, i'm a bi trans dykeboy, i'm 18 and i'm south asian american. i'm currently a full time university student double majoring in neuroscience and theatre design (feel free to send me asks about either i will go crazy). in my free time i sing, play guitar, write (or stare at blank google docs for hours), and hang out with cats. i don't exactly know what i want to do other than parenting. i have adhd and that makes life sucky sometimes but it's also very much a vital part of who i am (for me personally). otherrr than that, i can't think of anything, but if you wanna know something my asks are always open! i will not share identifying information though for obvious reasons.

so yeah that's me! if there's anything i forgot just let me know. thanks for reading :)

[expired-blueberries]

#the one thing ill say abt kevins mom is that it seems like she and he dont rly see each other very often#despite kevin having a room there and him using her garage#it seems like theyre still pretty distant#which makes sense for kevin who would obviously not feel very close to her#after being a runaway and then being missing for years#and likely as not by this point distrusting her for marrying harvey and#in his eyes for taking harveys side in things#SO the rooters not going to her for information (or even going and it not being shown on screen)#(bc it ultimately wasnt useful and gave them nothing) does make sense to me given the distance between the two#but anyway i LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE LOVE LOVE THAT#LOVE HARVEYS STORY LINING UP WITH THE SERVANTIS SHIT OOOOOOOOOOO FUCK#i dont think u tagged it or if u did i completely missed it#or i just forget bc my brain is bad. but i would (and am!!) eating that shit UP OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#and if harvey was a rooters plant (which would be interesting if that were the case)#(following the death of aka the death/divorce of whomever li was with prior to harvey)#and he was there specifically to rile kevin further in the hopes it would push him to kill ben.... MAN THAT WOULDVE BEEN SO COOL. FUCK.#in truth kevins mom being a rooter and not caring for him totally breaks my heart#bc that means that poor boy cant have SHIT lmfao#its great for story reasons for sure!! fantastic headcanon that draws cannon together#while simultaneously making fan theories stronger#but damn does it make me soooooo sad lmfao#but kevin (electraslight) and i were actually talking recently abt ragnarok#and how maybe he was a neutral party who had dealings with the rooters#and he saw the way the rooters treated those kids and spoke against it#and the rooters retaliated in rooter fashion#and had kevin off him after tying him in with devin#oh but anyway back to kevs mom that definitely DOES make sense#like one could argue she was just in shock seeing her house in shambles#but she was so calm about it and it seems to me that a regular mom wouldnt be that calm

(original tags i had written for this post ^. missing a good chunk bc i learned that tumblr has a tag limit but i didnt learn that until too late lmfao. trying to recall what all i wrote vvv)

a regular mom wouldnt be that calm, especially after remembering that her son, an ex runaway who had burned down a pervious house of hers was currently supposed to be at her house and there was a big giant gaping hole in the house. so her being a rooters plant definitely wouldve made sense, especially when she expo dumps like you said and started talking like an npc giving kevin a quest.

can you imagine how the storyline, and how kevin, in particular, wouldve been impacted too at the end of the rooters when he had to send his mom (or, well, the woman who raised him) into the null void?the fucking *emotions* he would be feeling? can you imagine if they wouldve given the time to properly look into it? the way he would feel having to send his mom into the null void after allowing her back into his life, after everything that went on in his past because of her (her marriage to harvey directly affecting kevins EVERYTHING moving forward).... god. can you imagine.

and, if she isnt a rooter... can you imagine how she would feel? no, rather- do you think anybody would even tell her? i know that this would never be expanded upon in the show, but just walk with me for a minute... it seems the plumbers already have a past of not really keeping in contact with her, since we know that if they *did* then max might have, yknow, known about kevin and maybe been on the lookout for kids his age and his looks and his powers, and maybe wouldve been able to, i dont know... do something more for him in os. but it seems like the plumbers (though, its true, were largely disbanded in os, and which arguably didnt have anybody to get into contact with widows - but i choose to willfully ignore all of that lol) have a past of disregarding her. if they didnt, then i wont go as far to say that things for kevin wouldve turned out alright in os, but at least she maybe wouldve known what happened to him in all those years he was gone??? no, i dont think the plumbers would tell her. i dont think even max would tell her, considering that although he was devins partner (devin isnt real, i know, but his false existence still meant that max shouldve been aware of her if nothing else), even HE didnt even reach out to her after his death. if he had, he wouldve known about kevin, simple as that. well - considering devin died at the ripe old age of [nebulously toddler], it should be argued that max DID know about kevin... which is even worse, but i digress. all this to say that i think in the end kevin would have to be the one to tell her, which would be absolutely horrible for all parties involved.

damn, i went on a fic tangential again instead of sticking to our original conversation topic, my bad.

but no, it really is tragic that so LITTLE lasting impact happens to kevin. ov, in its quest to remove gwen and kevin from the main cast, did kevin a massive disservice by making it so that we dont get to see anything about how he handles this information more than ten minutes after it happened. hes gonna be sitting on all of this, on his ENTIRE LIFE being a lie, and we dont get to see how it happens, because its the ben show and so we have to focus on ben. and of course, that makes SENSE, because it is LITERALLY the ben show, but it just... sucks. sucks that we cant keep an eye on kevin after this, sucks that we cant see any of the emotional fallout, sucks that all this was for was to tie os future into ov future. hell, with all the shit that kevin had forced onto him, i almost cant blame him for going evil 11k after all this lmfao (keyword being *almost* - i still think its complete bullshit, but thats a rant for another time).

Annoying thing with the Rooters arc is that we never do find out what the fuck the Rooters had planned in the long run. Because the first-and-foremost matter is destroying Ben, yes, but Servantis may as well be holding up a big glowing neon sign saying "this is step three in a greater, larger plan". He grabs Kevin in the first episode of the arc and is talking about using him to make more amalgams, when discussing Kevin seemingly coming back into the fold he describes him as 'coming along nicely' like this is just a step in his training, when he sends the kids out after him in the flashback he refers to the Rooters 'subtle manipulations' and how Ben can't fuck them up, he's literally forming a group of hybrid child soldiers as if he couldn't just snipe the fucking 10-yo as he walks out of his elementary school, or fucking recruit him like the Plumbers already end up doing.

This is not shit you get from someone whose entire deal is 'this one child is too dangerous to live'! You don't see 'child has superweapon' and go 'well then I'll have to transform myself, my staff, and a host of children into hybrids through painful experiments and then train and damn near mindcontrol the children into going and killing the kid'. You don't talk about plans for making more, you don't talk like when the chips are down the big problem is the kid might get in your way, or like the kids you've sent out to kill him are still in training.

These fuckers had Intentions and Plots and they got completely dismantled before we could get an actual answer on what they were longterm.

[withswords]

as usual tumblr is acting very high and mighty about knowing things that other people might not know, and getting very meanspirited about twitter refugees who haven’t heard of goncharov. additionally, there’s a lot of misinformation and jokes floating around that are probably just confusing a lot of people further, which is kind of unfair. the reason you’ve never seen goncharov is because until pretty recently nobody had since the 1970s!

tumblr has always had a thriving community of lost media enthusiasts, and the search for goncharov was kickstarted on here in 2020 after the discovery of a pair of shoes with a label that seemed to promote martin scorsese’s goncharov, a mysterious mafia movie nobody had ever heard of, leading to the ironic ‘this idiot hasn’t seen goncharov’ meme. however, under the surface, a few intrepid lost media excavators wondered, why hadn’t they seen goncharov? was this movie a total hoax?

then in late 2020- an event that got somewhat lost in the jumble of tumblr’s destiel election haze- gonch-heads found an interview with columbia pictures studio head david begelmen (best known for an embezzlement scandal that would be revealed a few years later) that mentioned goncharov. recently the unearthed movie has received praise for its striking visuals, for being a movie truly ahead of its time for the intended 1973 release, so people are often surprised to learn that goncharov was one of the all time production clusterfucks at columbia.

the interviewer quotes begelmen saying, “We don’t say that word [Goncharov],” in a tone that comes across almost scolding. when asked for clarification, he adds: “You know in theater they have the Scottish play? We have that ****ing Naples movie.”

when you look into it, it’s easy to see why goncharov was internally considered a cursed production. there are more thorough posts out there about all the disasters on the set of goncharov, but i’ll go over the two big ones. the enigmatic presence of ilya was created by practical necessity. his role was originally much larger, before the actor died on set (from a heart attack supposedly unrelated to the filming), and much of his part had to be scrapped. studio shakeups as columbia nearly went bankrupt (not helped by goncharov’s ambitious budget) and moved shooting from gower street to burbank resulted in much of the physical film going missing, thought to be destroyed until nearly 15 years later. around this time, rather than attempt to go into reshoots for an expensive nightmare led by a rookie director, the filming was canned completely.

i think because scorsese is so high profile now, people forget that in 73, he was barely scorsese. he was an up-and-coming director with some borrowed clout, but goncharov was a costly mistake that nearly ended his career. there’s a reason he rarely speaks about it. this was only compounded by matteo j.

a lot of people out there will tell you that j was the real director of goncharov, and this is false, if not an understandable mistake. matteo j has been off the grid for decades now and there’s a lot of speculation about who he was, his involvement with the original goncharov project, and why he went underground. there are rumors that he ran afoul of the actual mafia, but in my opinion that’s just sensationalism- you might as well say that the goncharov curse took him out. all we REALLY know is that he was at some point an employee of columbia pictures who gained access to the lost reels of goncharov.

j may at best be responsible for compiling his recovered goncharov footage in the late 80s, into a film which he tried to release in italy in partnership with procacci, who was attempting at that time to break into production and due to the low profile and attempted studio coverup at columbia was not fully aware of the film’s history. there are conflicting accounts of how much influence j’s editing has on the film, with some people considering him basically the marcia lucas of goncharov, and others believing him to be an opportunist taking advantage of a mostly-finished piece of art for his own gain.

obviously the studio intervened before the film’s actual release, but much of the promotional material including the poster, the shoes, etc. came from this time. it seems that columbia came to some kind of agreement with j vis a vis distribution and profits, probably in the hopes of cashing in on scorsese’s by then ascended name, which was of course splashed across the top of every goncharov poster you can find. however, the release was called off a second time once scorsese himself got wind of it.

and that seemed to be the end of it. the completed goncharov went into the columbia vault, with only a handful of misremembered bootlegs and chopped-up local tv airings even attesting to the fact that it ever existed, until a leaked copy appeared with no warning on archive.org. this seems to have been a prelude from a disgruntled netflix employee to the distribution of the film through the service (although, of course, in inferior aspect ratio, ‘remastered’ and with several scenes edited). you can still find copies of the original film on archive if you want to experience it as... well, it’s hard to say what the ‘intended’ goncharov experience is with such a complicated history behind it, but as close to intended as we can get. i don’t know if scorsese has softened on j’s version of the movie after all this time, or if he’s just let his grudge over it go. all i know for sure is that goncharov really has earned the title of the greatest mafia movie never made

[ad-hawkeye]

Random thoughts: do you think, at some point in his life, Artem has written fanfic of his favorite sci fi stories or even interacted with fandom at all?

Related thought: imagine Artem going to a sci fi convention and having a complete misunderstanding of what this kind of convention would be. Like he thought it would be a more serious, business-like convention where people have serious discussions with authors and scientists and people-with-titles, but he gets there and it's a bunch of people in costume chilling out and having fun. There are still serious discussions happening but it's like between someone dressed as a cyberman and someone dressed as a borg. Would he eventually get into the spirit of it or just continue to be confused through the whole event?

Sorry, I was in the shower and started thinking about Artem being his adorable, awkward, nerdy self.

*KICKS DOWN THE DOOR* HELLO!! SORRY I AM HERE AND READY TO RANT AND RAVE, ANON I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCH HAHA

i think about how artem is a sci-fi nerd so often, it’s one of the things that def cemented him as my fav tot boy. so i have many self indulgent thoughts. please excuse anything that seems off, i’m just letting loose and being the little trekkie fan fic writing whore i am.

as for writing for his fav sci-fi stories, i think he’d go about it like one of his mockingbird reviews in terms of writing an essay about what would be “more narratively satisfying”... like he’d ramble on about this theoretical ending he’s crafted, but the more mc reads it, the more she’s like. hm. if you adjusted this slightly and added dialogue, it’d be a story. you should try writing artem, this is really good.

artem just kinda brushes this off bc he’s the most self depreciating mf on this planet when it comes to anything that isn’t law, but i can see him trying to write his own original, non-fandom sci-fi stuff in the future.

god speaking of fandom, i always forget artem is gen z. i wouldnt be surprised if artem stumbled upon fucking like. 2016 tumblr or something as a teen.

he feels like the type to dislike most conventional, modern day fandom spaces. top ten guys who would bitch and moan about a lack of critical thinking after reading one bad take, type up a whole essay to rebuke the take, then delete the essay once he realizes it’s not worth it

i totally agree with the convention bit 100% HAHAH. i think with the right prodding he’d get into the spirit of things. aka, with mc’s influence. she was the person who got artem to wear a little costume and to act in a play. and act in multiple other things. also the person who put bunny ears on him in one of their cn server dating cards. if mc was like we should couple cosplay!! he would simply be Okay Alright Sure (and i think his theater kid ass would secretly get such a kick out of it too)

random side headcanon with absolutely no basis, so please indulge me, but i agree w the many others in this fandom who think artem would be a trekkie (a next generation or deep space nine enthusiast if i were to wager a guess).....

hmm and for fun, here are my #takes on the other nxx members... luke would probably be a star wars guy (with a nostalgic fondness for the prequels and intense opinions on the clone wars). mc is the middle ground of liking both sw and st. these three are the most intense nerds. marius would like the original star wars trilogy and vyn would disgust and dismay the group after admitting he has not seen anything from either. which like... nxx viewing party in order? perhaps?

[grapesodatozier]

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.