#i never got to orin’s part

[viivenn]

her blood probably runs gold too.

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY KISHIMIII ily❤️❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥)

[selunesfavouriteprincess]

saw a meme about wulbren bongle and it reminded me of how during my first playthrough I accepted the runepowder bomb, even though I knew for a fact I wasn’t gonna wipe out the gondians, because I thought it’d be useful for another big fight. I ended up using it in the house of grief and it DID help kill a few sharrans but like… idk how wulbren expected that thing to blow up the entire steel watch foundry because i lobbed that thing directly at viconia devir’s face and it still didn’t kill her so

[freebooter4ever]

awww basketball again

[autistichalsin]

One thing that is VERY important to me is Tavs/Durges/other LIs who fix Halsin just as much as the other way around.

Tavs who call Halsin cute, because NO ONE calls big strong men cute, it's just not a thing that happens, and he pretty much bluescreens the first time he hears it.

Tavs who let Halsin open up about his hurts and pains without judging or blaming him.

Tavs who tell Halsin leaving the Grove is the right thing, but that it doesn't matter because he is doing so much good at the commune, and it doesn't matter what happened in the past.

Tavs who tell Halsin the Shadow Curse was never his fault.

Tavs who understand the complexities of Halsin's feelings about his captivity.

Tavs who promise Halsin that of COURSE it doesn't scare them that he sometimes loses control of his bear, because they can see how hard he works not to give in to his instincts.

Tavs who promise they aren't going anywhere, including leaving him or dying.

Tavs who take care of Halsin when he gets sick.

Tavs who promise Halsin that after all he's done, it's okay to just rest at the commune, and that he doesn't always have to be doing something for others to deserve good things happening to him.

Tavs who tell Halsin they never regretted going with him for a single moment.

Tavs who rescue Halsin from Orin, who hear him talk about the other times he got kidnapped and his loved ones never saved him, and instead promise that they will never not come running if Halsin needs them.

Tavs who promise that Halsin is worthy, that he doesn't have to give them the moon for them to be interested, that he doesn't have to be perfect. That his flaws are a part of him, and they take them with him.

THAT is the kind of thing I go nuts for!

[whatusername00]

Which Baldur's Gate Characters Know How To Lace Up Their Clothing - Camp Edition

I got this idea because I noticed Gortash's shirt isn't laced properly, and then noticed Astarion's shirt isn't laced properly, so now I need to look at as many characters as I can because I can't stop noticing. And I'm about to spend too much time on this for it to stay in my brain. Starting with all characters who appear at camp (main party + others.)

Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Gale, Withers, Aylin, Mizora, Duke Ravenguard, Emmaline, and Arnell don't have lacing on their camp outfits.

Starting with the default clothes for Tav. Yes, they know how to lace their shirt. Good job. This particular Tav is Durge, so it's good to know he didn't forget how when his brain got Swiss'd. However, it's not perfectly consistent because on the bottom 2 sets of eyelets he threads from the outside, but the third set he threads from the inside. Though this is probably intentional so the lacing doesn't hang on the inside of his shirt, so 9/10.

Astarion, baby boy, you were so close. But unfortunately there are two pairs of eyelets where he threads one side from the outside and one from the inside. For someone who wants to appear so put together, you think he could take the two extra braincells to lace his shirt consistently. 7/10.

Threaded consistently the whole way through...with one side. Why didn't you finish lacing your shirt? Why even lace one side if you weren't going to lace the other? Why isn't the lacing that you didn't finish shorter than the one that you did finish? All questions I can't answer because I cannot ask. 7/10 at least it's consistent.

I couldn't get a good in game screenshot of Karlach since her lacing is on her pants, but I found a texture rip so I can work with it. So the lacing here is the same all the way through, super consistent, *mwah*, but...it's sneakily unnecessarily complicated. Typically, the lacing that laces from the inside to outside would sit on top, but it's not that way on her pants. She pulls the lacing through the eyelet, then threads it under the other part of the cross, then threads it through the top of the next eyelet. And with as much lacing as her pants have, this must have taken forever for no extra benefit. It would have been easier to let it sit on top. 8/10 its pretty though.

Halsin. Beautiful. Gorgeous. I choose to believe the knots are hidden on the inside. No other notes. 10/10.

I've never actually recruited Minthara so I took a picture from the BG3 wiki. Just like Halsin, beautiful. Again, I choose to believe the ends are hidden on the inside. 10/10.

Jaheira's pants lace the same way Halsin's shirt does: perfectly. Though if the knot is hidden on the inside, I feel like that would be more uncomfortable, so I'm gonna headcannon that it ties at her waist under her shirt. Other than that, 10/10.

Minsc's shirt uses the same model as Wyll's so everything I said there applies here, though I feel like it makes more sense for Minsc. My real gripe here is that Minsc is a liar. Talking 'bout some thrice laced pants, but I didn't see any lacing on those pants. How dare he trick me in this way. 6/10 I don't like being lied to.

Yenna's mom may be dead, but she made sure her baby knew how to lace her shirt before she did. She may have gotten kidnapped by Orin, but she looked put together while doing it. Perfect 10/10. She deserves it after what she went through.

After being dead for 100 years, Isobel didn't forget how to lace her armor. Gotta be put together to see her girlfriend again. 10/10 Isobel can do no wrong.

Volo...I don't know what you've done to the front of your pants but it doesn't look good. Some of those crosses are missing. It looks sloppy. What is this. This is something I would do as a joke to see if anyone noticed. Well I noticed and I hate it. 2/10 it keeps your pants closed I guess.

That's it for the camp. I'll link other sets of characters below as I do them.

Tieflings

[astarions-wife]

Ranking BG3 characters on if I think they’re good at cuddles or not:

Astarion: 10/10, a little hesitant obviously but this man is touch starved for positive, gentle affection like this, so I think he’s super clingy and holds you while you cuddle. But he likes to be held just as much.

Gale: 8/10, he definitely gives good cuddles, probably especially after sleeping with someone. He is not the kind of man to leave after sex, he gives them the cuddles they deserve. Dare I say, while he’d never admit it, this is his favorite part.

Shadowheart: 7.5/10. She’s good at it when she tries! I doubt Sharrans are like, specifically taught how to be affectionate and snuggly, but she’s read enough romance novels to figure it out.

Lae’zel: 3/10. Why would she waste her time? At least for a good while she really doesn’t see the point of snuggling. Eventually a romantic partner night convince her (only bc Lae’zel definitely gets cold at night), but it wouldn’t be super reliable.

Wyll: 11/10, it doesn’t matter the context. He will be there. He will be THE cuddler. Cold? He’s got you covered. Snuggling just because? Anything for his queen/king. He would be thrilled if you suggested cuddles.

Minthara: 5/10. She would be very adamant about not enjoying cuddles, she’s probably not very good at it herself, but in the right circumstance? I think she’d enjoy being held just for a little bit.

Halsin: 11/10. Have you seen him? He’s like Wyll but with bigger abs. His chest is basically a pillow for you. He would suggest the cuddles most of the time, he wouldn’t want to sleep any other way.

Karlach: 9/10. It’s amazing. Someone can touch her, be close to her? Of course she’s holding them tight, running her hand through their hair. It’s great. She sheds a tear when someone does the same for her.

Minsc: 6/10. I desperately wanna say he would be good at it, but like… let’s be for real, Boo would be involved with this cuddle pile. Sure hamsters are cute, maybe not romantic though. Of course cuddling can be done in a non sexual context (and for this thread, most commonly is), but still… waking up with a hamster in your face every morning is, interesting.

Jaheira: 8/10. She would hold you so tenderly. She’d probably braid your hair before bed if it were long enough, and then she’d pull the blankets up around both of you.

Aylin: 10/10. Except maybe remove two points sometimes, because I think she holds Isobel so tight that Isobel very gently has to tell her that while she’s in love with her, she needs to be able to breathe too.

Isobel: 9/10. Normally she’s the little spoon, but one time she got to pull Aylin close to her, and I think Aylin shed a decent few tears.

Orin: 1/10. Maybe if you really let her heal, she would like to BE cuddled, because she’s definitely touch starved. But giving them? She only knows knives and swords, the fact you’re even sleeping so close is a wonder.

Gortash: -3/10. It doesn’t matter the context. For warmth? Get away from him, your feet are cold. Romantic? Ew, that’s gross. After sex? Bold of you to assume he sticks around.

[meanbossart]

so uh stop reading aaaabout here if you care about spoilers for the original baldur's gate games (no idea if you have/planned on playing em just wanna be safe) but ANYWAY in 2 you can choose to split your soul with Sarevok to bring him back to life and, if you choose to play it that way, give him a second chance. i'm not going to subject you to my Sarevok rants because lord knows you did not ask but i find that concept really really interesting especially in relation to Durge and Orin so after way too much rambling here's my question. what would DU Drow do in that kinda situation? i know post-tadpole he doesn't really hold any warm feelings towards Orin (if you could count whatever he had going on before as "warm" lol) but would any part of him want to give her a shot at living her own life without Bhaal's influence?

oh my god this got way too long i am. so sorry

I've been thinking about this one for a while. Honestly it's a really sweet concept for them.

I think if DU drow were to somehow find out about what he did to Orin over the years (the pressuring, the low-key harassment, how utterly obsessed he was with her, how, unbeknownst to himself, he played a part in making her worse and actively helped her erase more and more parts of herself) he would be a little horrified with himself. Not immediately, perhaps not outwardly, but he'd get a little grossed out feeling in his gut and a churning that is at it's worst whenever he looks at Astarion.

It's only really because of Astarion that he learned what the hell love with boundaries is. He started off by trying to cross them, only to be humbled when his urges wouldn't let him fulfill any carnal desires in the first place and forcing him to appreciate the comfort in Astarion's company alone, without the sexual factor, and in turn coming to understand that that's not even what he wanted in the first place. Then, through learning about his past experiences, he'd grow to abhor the very concept and take slow incremental steps to fix that within himself. He realizes that if he had done the same with Orin, their situation could have been very different - or it could have not. Either way, he never had the self-awareness to try.

You know the scene in Cazador's dungeon? Where you meet up with the caged spawn and you have the option to confront Astarion about it when he lacks the empathy towards them? About how, in another life, that could have been you? Perhaps there would be something similar here. Where DU drow tries to justify his past-self's actions and Astarion holds a very ugly mirror of himself up to his face - if I say no, if I ever change my mind, is this what you're going to do to me?

That hypothetical would make him sick.

So yes. I think in that situation where he has a slightly fuller picture, he would find it nothing but fair to share a little bit of his soul with Orin so she has a second shot at life - It's basically what she did for him, after all.

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

My Mother Plays Baldur's Gate: Part 5

Summary: My retired mom is having me play Baldur's Gate 3 on her behalf because she has trouble using controllers/keyboards but still wants to "smooch the wizard boy." She is playing a neutral chaotic good wood elf druid; this is a detailed account of her crimes. Part 1 & 2 Part 3 Part 4

Sorry for the long break! Life got super busy for a second there. We're about 30-40% of the way through Act 3, and we finished up some companion quest lines and started making some plans to kill Gortash and Orin.

Here's what happened during yesterday's game session:

Scratch gave us an iron bowl at camp. My mom assumed this was somehow plot relevant, so she had me carry it around everywhere because "we might need it." I am not allowed to sell the bowl. She is a druid and her carrying capacity is still garbage. I suffer.

She LOVES Gale’s new kiss animations. I  tasked with smooching him before we leave camp every single time. Even if I just stop by to switch out a party member, I still have to kiss him goodbye. (And pet the animals, obviously.)

We accidentally blew up Volo outside the Steel Watch foundry with a poorly-placed Ice Storm that nicked the edge of the explosive barrels. His corpse was charred and unrecognizable, and my mom was distraught. She demanded to know why I blew him up, so I reminded her that casting Ice Storm was HER idea. We saved him the second time.

Cazador accidentally won his fight several times because we kept rolling dogshit initiative and got zapped by status effects before we could move an inch. The first time Astarion got turned to paste in the ritual, my mom nearly leapt out of her seat. (“RELOAD RIGHT NOW, HONEY.”) We killed Cazador on the fifth attempt, the rotten bastard.

My mom was locked in for the Iron Throne mission. The turn limit really freaked her out, and she kept second-guessing my choices every time I made a move because she was so nervous I was wasting time. I had to gently remind her that I’ve done this mission literally dozens of times. (We got everyone out with a whole turn to spare. Pfffft.)

Got the wavemother robe. I put it on Gale because I thought my mom would love it, but she was actually horrified because he “might catch a cold.” She robe is now somewhere in the camp stash next to all the spoons, iron tongs, and rags. It will probably never be found again. 

Saved the Gondians, and Mom now rides the “fuck Wulbren Bongle” hate train. Shout-out to my boy Barcus!

After watching the conclusion of The Pale Elf quest line (Astarion did NOT ascend, thank you), my mom quietly said, “I hope that actor knows how perfect he is as Astarion. What a wonderful man.” I had the pleasure of informing her that Neil Newbon won Best Performance at the Game Awards for his role. Congrats Neil Newbon, my mom is super proud of you!

Hoping to get together with my mom again soon and make some more progress through Act III. She told me to thank you for all your kind words of support!

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Guarded Desires: Part 8

Fandom: Star Wars - The Acolyte

Pairing: Padawan!Qimir x Princess!Reader

Summary: After an assassination attempt on your mother, she’s asked a favor from the Jedi Council to watch over you and your family until the assailant has been caught. As a result, your mother’s old friend, Master Vernestra, has her padawan, Qimir, be your bodyguard. Based off my imagine here.

Series Masterlist

Qimir did his best not to let anger settle within him, but he couldn't help it. For the first time in his life, he felt...alive. Being with you set him aflame, it awakened a desire within him that he didn't know he could feel.

The Jedi aren't supposed to feel things like desire. The Jedi aren't supposed to form attachments. Such feelings were looked down upon, like they were bad. And yet...they made Qimir feel more alive than he's ever felt before. Only for you to be ripped away from him.

He got a taste of what it was like to hold you, kiss you, and...love you.

Qimir had never been in love but he was sure that's what he felt for you. He thought about you every day since he met you. He protected you, stayed by your side, worried about your well being. He learned about your likes, dislikes, your desires, your goals. He saw you at low points and high. In just a few weeks, Qimir had fallen for you. You made it so easy to do so with your kindness, your sass, your fire, and determination.

His heart aches being so far from you now.

Master Vernestra still remains on Nerathos Prime as she continues to lead the investigation on the palace attacks and the assassination attempt on your mother.

She occasionally checks in on him and his answers are the same. He's still training and working to be one of the best Jedi Knights he can be. However, the more he says it, the less it rings true to him.

He's not sure if being a Jedi is what he wants to do anymore. His faith is wavering as he doesn't understand how something that makes him feel good and warm inside is seen as something bad.

That's when he starts hearing a voice. There's been a poking in his mind. A voice whispering in his ear that the Jedi are wrong. That love and desire aren't a bad thing. That his affections and desire to be with you should be acknowledged and accepted, not swept under the rug like a dirty secret. You don't deserve to be a dirty secret.

_________________________

Nira was...nice. She was professional and was very keen on keeping the professional boundary between you and herself. She never shared too many details about herself. Only vague facts. It frustrated you, but you also understood.

You suddenly felt so alone now.

You took your frustrations out on training, kicking down any and all of the Knight's Guard that became your partner. Orin could see that something was wrong, so after a grueling session. He pulled you off to the side.

"What's going on?" He asks in concern.

You roll your eyes, "Nothing."

He scoffs, "Don't lie to me. We all see something is wrong. None of the others will say something, but I'm your friend. I care about you, Y/N. Whatever it is, let me help," he places a hand on your shoulder and you shrug him off.

"You can't help me," you mumble, looking anywhere but at him.

"At least let me try."

"Why? So you can be in my father's good graces?"

"No! I told you, you're my friend! Y/N, we've been friends for years. You know I'd never do something like that to you."

You run a hand down your face, "You're right. I'm sorry. It's-It's complicated."

"It's about him, isn't it? The Jedi," Orin whispers. You nod and he continues, "Had a feeling. Noticed he was replaced. Did-Did something bad happen?"

You sigh, "Yes, and no. We confessed our feelings for each other and-and we kissed. But then Master Vernestra looked into his head and saw what we did. He was sent back to Coruscant shortly after."

"Why?"

"Jedi aren't supposed to form any sort of attachments. I was too much of a distraction and temptation. So he was sent away."

Orin nods in understanding, "I see...I'm sorry, Y/N."

You shrug, "I'm tired of other people being in control of my life. For once, I was doing something for me. Not for my father's approval or for the good of our people, me! And it was stripped away at an instant."

Orin immediately pulls you into his arms. His hold was tight but also comforting. And for the first time in a while, you let yourself break down. You're heartbroken and feel so stuck. Knowing Orin is there for you really seemed to strike a chord in you.

So you wrap your arms around him and let yourself cry. You cry until there are no tears left.

___________________

You wake up to hearing waves crashing. There's a slight breeze and you smell salt water.

You open your eyes to brightness. The suns of Nerathos Prime beaming down at you. You're laying in the sand. You slowly sit up and look around. You're at the beach you and your family visited a week prior.

But you're confused. Why're you here?

"Enjoy your nap, princess?" you turn to see Qimir sitting beside you, a soft smile on his lips.

"Qimir? What-Where-"

"You're dreaming."

You shoulder slump in disappointment, "So you're not really here?"

His face scrunches up in a sorrowful look, "Unfortunately not. I'm still on Coruscant, but...I think our bond is so strong it's linked us. So we can be in each other's dreams."

"Why now? You've been gone for a week and now you're appearing in my dreams?"

"I've been trying to get the link to stick and I finally got it," he places his hand on top of yours, "How are you?"

You snort, "Miserable. You?"

"Just about the same. I, uh, I got into a fight a few days ago."

Your eyes widen, "What? Why?"

"Another padawan heard about why I came back. Started spewing off a bunch of fodder and wouldn't shut up, so I punched him."

"What did he say?"

"It doesn't matter," he shrugs trying to brush off the subject, he pulls his knees up and rests his arms up on them.

"Was it about us?"

He slowly nods, looking out to the sea, "Said I was stupid for ever thinking a princess could fall for me."

You snort, "How could I not fall for you? You're funny, kind, strong, understanding-"

Qimir blushes, hiding his face in his arms, "Stop it."

You giggle, "No! It's true! I-You're different, Qimir. You see me for me and not some princess."

"And you see me for me," he reaches out and pulls you closer to him. You rest your head on his shoulder and he rests his head on yours.

"Can we stay here forever?" you whisper with desperation.

He sighs, "No, but I'll do my best to visit you as much as I can. But this is my first time actually succeeding and I don't know the toll it'll take on me after."

"Okay. Just take care of yourself, alright, Qi?"

"I'll do my best," he replies, pressing a kiss to your head and letting the sound of the crashing waves fill the silence between you.

[suzukiblu]

Beginning of another old YJ animated WIP I just dug back up; cut for length. I had this fic idea back when the first season was still airing (AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE A VERY IRONIC ONE LATER ON, hahaha), and I never got very far with it, buuuuut . . . well, I still kinda wanna write it, so hey, why not revisit the concept!

“We need to talk,” Batman says abruptly, sweeping into the living room like the black crack of night, dark and foreboding and completely out of place during a Saturday afternoon video game marathon. M'gann squeaks and Wally yelps and they both fall off the couch in surprise, taking the popcorn and nearly Artemis with them. Robin startles up so fast anyone who didn't know better would think he was the speedster, Superboy jerks hard enough to make the steel sofa frame creak in protest, and Kaldur stands to careful attention and looks to Batman.

That’s his job, after all. 

“Is there a problem with last night's reports?” he asks reflexively, but the aura Batman is cloaked in . . . no. That feeling is not about reports, or their last mission, or anything less than utmost disaster. Robin's fingers scrape along the part of his glove that his computer's holographic screen pops out of in an obvious nervous tic, which Robin is not supposed to have–which Robin goes to great lengths to never have, especially in front of Batman.

But Batman is looking at them with a chilling expression and Kaldur understands that tic better than he wants to, because Batman and bad news that makes him wear an expression . . . 

“I'm so sorry,” Batman says as he steps forward and crouches down and sweeps Robin into an embrace, and that fast Robin looks shocked and terrified, and Wally falls right back off the couch he'd just gotten back onto, and M'gann's shaking hands clap over her ears like she's trying to muffle a sound–or trying to block something out of her head, some distant and clinical part of Kaldur thinks. And with Batman out of the way, he sees his king standing in the hall just outside the doorway with the Flash, his own expression tight and just barely pained. 

Kaldur’s heart sinks like a stone.

“Who died,” Robin says, panic in his voice, small and just thirteen, fingers digging in against Batman's shoulders. The Flash darts into the room and looks down at Wally with this horrible, sorrowful look on his face and pulls him to his feet, gripping his hands tightly in his own. 

King Orin does not move from the hallway and does not change that blade-sharp pained expression that cuts into the core of everything that Kaldur has ever served or believed in, and does not stop looking at him with it.

It is not difficult to understand Robin's reaction, with his king looking at him like that.

“Batman?” Robin says, young and afraid, and Batman is still holding him smother-tight and does not speak. “Batman, what–Br–say something!” he yells, but Batman just shifts and drags him even tighter against himself, tight enough so Robin vanishes inside his cape. If not for the low whimper he hears from beneath its dark folds, Kaldur would almost think he wasn't there at all; that Batman was simply injured and curled in around himself to protect the wound. 

And Batman still does not say anything. Neither does the Flash, even as he grips Wally's hands tighter in his own, even as he stays horrible and sorrowful, and Kaldur can only look to his king because there is nowhere else.

But his king says nothing either.

“Guardian called from Cadmus,” the Flash says finally, quietly, watching Wally as he speaks. Kaldur feels very young, suddenly and irrationally; as young as his teammates all look right now, as young as Robin sounds. He has enough time to feel a flash of alarm for Superboy–what if there was a flaw in the cloning process, what if something is wrong with–“They found something on sublevel 53.” 

“There wasn't a sublevel 53,” Robin says, voice cracked and sharp like a broken toy, and Batman . . .

Kaldur will swear it on his own life: Batman flinches.

“There wasn't!” Robin snaps, struggling in Batman's grip and breaking out from beneath his cape, defiant and still terrified and oh, he is so small, Kaldur thinks as he watches the other boy stumble back, hit the sofa and try to disappear into his own much too small cape. “I would've seen it, I would've found it–” 

“Most likely Desmond had that memory adjusted,” King Orin cuts in shortly, and Robin grins in horror.

“Wh–but Supey got the G-gnomes to let us go, they were barely in our heads at all!” Wally protests, yanking his hands out of the Flash's. His edges look blurred–Kaldur thinks he might be trembling. He feels as if he should be himself. They have faced terrible things in their lives, all of them, but the way that his king is looking at him in this moment . . . 

It’s a very, very terrible thing, that look. 

“Superboy lost line of sight on the targets before acquiring them,” Batman says, short and sharp. Kaldur blinks, slowly, thinking, that's strange, why should that matter? Thinking, WHAT targets? Superboy didn't have targets in Cadmus. The only thing he had to do was help them fight Desmond and help them . . . get . . .

“I don't get it,” Artemis says, frowning warily, and Batman's lips thin and M'gann covers her too-pale face with hands that won't stay quite the right shape.

“The source material for Project Sidekick was put in stasis and transferred to storage. There was a power surge this morning that interrupted the sedative dose,” King Orin says as he finally steps into the room, quiet and grief-sharpened. “The genomorphs heard Kaldur'ahm trying to wake up half an hour ago.”

“Oh,” not-Kaldur realizes, and sits back down.

[sorceresssundries]

GUYS, WE FUCKING DID IT!

AND!!!

Everyone got their best ending, and every possible Tiefling was saved.

Thank you for all the words of support and encouragement throughout my little journey! I feel very happy.

I stand by Orin's fight being the absolute worst part of the whole thing. I'm never fucking doing that again.

Love you all loads! <3

[amorgansgal]

The Memory of Shadows

So here we go, the sad Astarion x Reader/Tav fic that made me sad when I wrote it. I've not included a named or gendered tav, so hopefully everyone can enjoy... or not enjoy as the case may be!

Gender Neutral Tav/Reader x Astarion

CW: Grief/mourning, death, depression, suicidal thoughts

He wakes. He takes a moment to look at the gossamer red fabric that drapes over the bed, feels the plush, velvet cover under his fingers, he trails them up to the pillow next to him, its cold blankness always an aching reminder. He hates it and he’s not even sure if it still smells of you, there’s so little of you left. Time is doing that, you slip away from mortal memory, becoming lost to the status of mythical hero, rather than living, breathing, flesh and bone. Like a dull knife forcing its way back into his heart, he aches, everything hurts - though he’d never admit to it.

You’re in books, there’s songs about you, about all of them: brilliant Gale, fierce Lae’zel, clever Shadowheart, noble Wyll, excitable Karlach, even Astarion gets a look in as wily. And you, you were the hero, the glorious leader who led them to victory, who saved Baldur’s Gate. You have the starring role. It seems though, to him, the more that is written and said about you the less real you become. He’s scared of that, you’re shimmering before him, your face drifting like shadows, the memory of shadows. Oh he has paintings of you, they’re all over the house - he put them back up after it became somewhat bearable - but they’re a frozen piece of you, not the real thing. They don’t capture the way your mouth would twitch before you smiled or laughed, the way your eyes sparkled with delight when he had managed to pick a lock or the warmth of your hands when you took hold of his.

‘How long has it been?’ he thinks as he finally gets to his feet. ‘50 years, 80, 100?’ He wrote down the day in a diary, but that too has been lost to this house and he’s not sure if it really matters. Why would it? Knowing there’s a special date to acknowledge your passing doesn’t make any other day hurt less. He’s alone, more so than ever. Gale is gone, Wyll is gone, Lae’zel is gone, Shadowheart passed a few years ago… There’s just him and Halsin and Jaheira, and he’s never exactly been close with either of them. Halsin used to visit when you had passed, you had been close with him after all. But he got the sense Halsin did so out of obligation, rather than actually liking him and when they had exhausted all topics of the past - the nautiloid ship, the druid grove, the goblin camp, the shadow curse, moonrise towers, Ketheric, Baldur’s Gate, Orin, Gortash, the Elder brain, you - and he and Halsin were left with an uneasy silence. A silence that lingered on and on and was close to swallowing them up, until Halsin said he would leave Astarion in peace. As though he even knew what peace meant anymore. Now they only meet when someone else dies. What a grim prospect. Who's next? Probably Jaheira, though that won't be a for a while yet.

He moves over to his wardrobe, even this part of the day holds no joy for him. He doesn’t get to hear your teasing comments about how long he spends carefully selecting his clothes or feel your hands wrap around his waist, your chest pressed against his back, the kisses you would trail down his spine. He presses his lips tightly together, not wanting to let out any whimper of pain or cry of anguish. At times, his darkest, loneliest times, he wonders if he would have agreed to let Cazador torture him for all eternity, if it meant he could just have one more day with you. A single day would be worth it. A single kiss, a single loving touch, a single laugh, a single look. He’d make a deal with all the devils in hell if it meant he got to hold you again for one last time. 

He pulls his hand away from the handle on the wardrobe door. He’s too tired for this and he doesn’t want to do it anymore. He’s in hell already, he may as well see if he’ll get a glimpse of you in the afterlife. He walks over to the heavy draped curtains, his fingers curl on the black fabric lined with golden leaves. You probably won’t be pleased with this, but hopefully you’ll forgive him. He's sure you will. And gods, he would love to see you angry because it would mean seeing you again. He'll take anything he can get. He yanks open the curtains. The sun is brilliant, blinding, burning hot and cold, and the sharp, all encompassing light reminds him of your laugh, your wit, your very being. Maybe he’ll get to see you soon.

[papastarion]

I know everyone has their different takes on Astarion’s character, and what they think his story should look like/what he would or wouldn’t do with his life after the events of the game, and I think they’re all valid. And not everyone is going to like your read or what you want him to pursue or be like after all is said and done. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Could you imagine how boring things would be if we all agreed? I personally love seeing the diversity of takes.

That being said, I am very much a fan of the idea of non-Ascended Astarion starting a family after everything, just me personally. Now, I know that’s a whole can of worms for people who don’t like that concept or who don’t like the idea of kids/pregnancy in their fiction. That’s completely fine. Funnily enough, I have no desire to have my own kids, but I love exploring that sort of lifestyle and the dynamic it creates when it comes to my characters in my own writing.

And I do think he wants kids, in my world state (to borrow a Dragon Age term), anyway.

I always go back to Astarion’s confession, when he says he wants “something real.” All those years where sex and love were nothing but a performance to seduce people and lure them to what he thought was their death. And now, with Tav/Durge, he wants the real thing. He wants to love and be loved.

He says he doesn’t know what “real” looks like anymore, which means he’s got to figure it out. And we know he isn’t much for plans, so that means a lot of what he learns is learned as he goes. That must extend to learning what he wants, too.

“I Want to Live” is the song that is consistently played in relation to his character development (despite being the players song.) Want. For all of those years, he was told by Cazador that he and his fellow spawn were a family. If he doesn’t ascend, then what he desires, and discovering what he wants, and taking what was false for so long and learning what the real version of it looks like to him all come together to make it easy for me to see him enjoying fatherhood.

He wouldn’t be Astarion without that prickly personality of his, but as his relationship with Tav/Durge progresses, you get to see the softness and sweetness he has in him, too. And I believe he really does mean it when he says he wants to protect them. He does genuinely care, as sarcastic and standoffish as he can be. That’s part of his personality and his character arc.

Now, do I think he likes all kids? Not at all. I think he likes certain kids, and for certain reasons. He may not encourage taking in Yenna, but he does insist on saving her from Orin. He seems to have a high opinion of Arabella. It depends on the kid. In a strange way, I think his own personhood being taken from him has made him view kids as more individual than most people tend to.

And I think he would adore his own kids because of who they are. They’re proof of how far he’s come, they’re proof that he’s alive and he’s living and that Cazador didn’t win in the end. He’s here. He won. He’s growing past everything.

And, most importantly: they’re his kid(s.)

Do I think he’s ever considered having children prior to having one, even before he was turned? I doubt it, honestly. But especially prior to his vampirism, I don’t think it matters whether he did or not. He can’t remember what color his eyes were, let alone what he wanted or who he was. And it doesn’t matter, he makes that much clear. He isn’t that person anymore, and he won’t ever get to be them again. So whether he had thought about children specifically or not, whether he wanted them or not, I don’t think that matters to him anymore.

He never saw himself as a hero, either, but he’s a Hero of Baldur’s Gate now. He cares. In his own way. And he defines and does things his own way in his life now. He’s still not your stereotypical hero, but he’s also no longer your stereotypical vampire. He wouldn’t be Astarion if he was easy to define. And after everything, he is still Astarion. He’s complex, and he can be quite contradictory and inconsistent. That’s both part of his personality and a result of the 200 years of trauma he survived, I think.

And again, he’s also not one for plans. I don’t think he considers being a father until Tav/Durge is telling him that he’s going to be one. And that kind of life-changing news can rattle even the people who have planned for it and wanted it their whole lives. Sure, I think it takes some getting used to, and I’m sure there are complex feelings that come with it. Rediscovering yourself and building a life are never easy. Living isn’t easy.

But this is another part of the life he’s living—really living. This isn’t the mockery Cazador forced the spawn to play pretend in, it’s a real family, his family. And I think that means everything to the person he chooses to be now.

[ejoym]

Devlin's History. This is Part II of an ask. Devlin's backstory is like a tour through horror film history with influences from Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist, Halloween, and Hereditary. I generally try to work within the BG3 framework for Dark Urge but I do take some narrative liberties. 

Content warning for mentions but no explicit descriptions of some dark shit (horror, violence, sex, pregnancy, and abusive cults.)

Spoilers abound for the Dark Urge below.

Her adoptive parents were wealthy high elves who were thrilled to learn that a moon elf baby was abandoned at a local orphanage. They were new money and trying desperately to claw their way up the social ladder in the upper city. Devlin was cared for well enough but there was always something a little off about her. 

She loved the circus. She dreamed of being a clown when she grew up and insisted on dressing like one everyday. This alone wouldn’t have been cause for concern but she started acting out in other notable ways…like vomiting black bile, speaking infernal tongues, floating into corners of rooms, and turning her head 180 degrees - you know, typical puberty shit for any Dark Urge, but A LOT more than her adoptive parents signed up for. 

These were, of course, early manifestations of the urges.

Her parents were mortified. They tried to bring in a cleric to purify her. Daddy Bhaal was having none of it though. He took possession of Devlin to hard counter the naive cleric. Devlin, as controlled by Bhaal, incinerated the cleric as well as her foster parents. When she regained control over her body, she was horrified and fled. For a while she survived on the streets as a feral little sewer gremlin in a ratty clown costume. 

Sceleritas Fel eventually found her and revealed her true origin as a Bhaalspawn. He took her back to the temple where she began training as a Cleric of Bhaal. Her father granted her direct power over life and death, which, you know, gave her just the teeniest-tiniest god complex. The downside was that Bhaal used his influence to exert total control over her life. 

She knew that shit was bad at the temple. She ended up having A LOT of sex as her chosen form of escape. She also did this as a way to dull the more murderous urges. Which kind of worked but like most forms of dysfunctional escapism, it was short-lived and came with its own pitfalls.

One of her most important roles as a Cleric of Bhaal was assisting in the childbirth of Bhaalspawn (someone has to do it right?) She trained by delivering for members of the cult but the birth of a true Bhaalspawn was a significant event to Bhaal. It only happened twice during her time in the temple. 

Devlin was in fact the one who delivered Orin from Helena. I have it that Devlin is about double Orin’s age and she served as an older sister role in Orin’s life. 

BUT before Orin there was also another. Remember those pesky little pitfalls I mentioned? Pregnancy was one of them.

It made sense to me that with all of Devlin's chaotic horny energy that she got pregnant, full on birthing another Bhaalspawn. This happened pretty early though. It wasn't a part of Bhaal’s plan but he ended up using it to his advantage. She became his pliable puppet during her pregnancy. The urges were the strongest they had ever been because he could also exert control over the spawn inside.

Birth was a bloody fucking nightmare and she did it alone. She tried to flee with the baby but Bhaal personally showed up in a reaper avatar form to recover her and the spawn. He showed Devlin no mercy in his punishment.

This becomes a huge turning point for her. She grew more compliant to Bhaal’s will as a survival mechanism. She internalized a lot of shame and rage - leading her urges to become more violent.

She never learned what happened to the child. As of the events of the game, she has lost all memory of that time. That said, I imagine her life post-tadpole will be about slowly recovering some details from her past, leading to some interesting revelations.

Thanks again for the ask! Her back story is grim but I suppose it's par for the course of a Dark Urge. 😅

[autistichalsin]

I LOVE Halsinmancing but there is just something so poetic, if also tragic, about paths where Halsin is in unrequited love with the player.

Flirting throughout acts 1 and 2 before realizing it will never be. Being rejected gently in act 3 (and, for added angst, maybe even being kidnapped Orin after the rejection, or even BEFORE the rejection) but picking himself up and still being the best friend he can possibly be to the player. Saving the world, parting from the person he loves so dearly, and forming a family of his own, even if the commune has a Tav-shaped hole in it. Adoringly telling the children stories of his adventures with Tav as often as he can, waiting for the day when they come to tell it with him. Getting the invitation from Withers one day that lets him FINALLY see Tav again, and being asked if he wants/needs a hug by Tav, like an offer of water while dying of thirst. Hugging them, holding them tight, eyes drifting closed in utter contentment, only to eventually be forced to let them go, eyes full of longing, yet also gratitude that he finally got that hug he'd been waiting for for so long. Knowing Tav will never love him back, but feeling it anyway, and having a heart big enough that he can feel love for both Tav and anyone he meets who is interested in sharing in his heart, too.

There's something so sad but so poetic about it.

[moonselune]

if this is too far out there i totally understand you turning down the request but o_o could you maybe do the ladies post-game with a bhaal rejecting durge who found a way to spare and now took in orin to help her rehabilitate (so now they and durge live together as a couple and orin is kind of a roommate). Would there be tensions? Do some just outright make an ultimatum?

Okay okay so gonna do this as more headcanony and see where it goes

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Karlach:

She would be so wary

Probably thinks you are just got hit a bit too hard in the head during battle

"How many Mama K's do you see babe?"

You manage to convince her that if you are going to Avernus to kill Zariel, we might as well bring the incest murder baby with us

Orin's just stood there like "please I'm so good at it."

Karlach groans and relents, kicking the dirt and murmuring something about cannon fodder

Orin is elated and swears on her favourite dagger that she will not kill anyone she is not allowed to

I can see your relationship with her getting better through this because she can prove herself doing the one thing she does best

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Minthara:

no

just no

this would be an ultimatum

at the end of the day you are choosing Minthara and offering up Orin to her as an apology for even thinking it

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Lae'zel:

Also cannot imagine Lae'zel allowing Orin near you

maybe if you join her to lead the coup against Vlaakith, for similar reasons as Karlach

But if she is staying in Baldurs Gate with lil Gith egg baby Xan

absolutely no way

would also ask if you got hit too hard in the head during battle

Lae'zel would not be able to trust Orin and would just have to kill her whether you liked it or not

she could not live knowing Orin is lurking somewhere, good intentions or not.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Shadowheart:

Surprisingly I feel like shadowheart would be the most accommodating

like orin can stay on your farm

maybe in an old barn or something

but she can stay

any animals get hurt though and Orin is out

Unless they are predators to Shadowheart's animals

then Orin is like a guard dog

"Yeah you can get those ones"

Orin would probably rehabilitate the best out here and would have the best chance of fixing herself and your relationship with her

we've made her touch some grass <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaheira:

She's way too old for this shit

She would be so torn up because she has had so much experience with Bhaalspawns

A part of her thinks she should help, because if she hadn't helped you then you two would never have fallen in love

but I think Orin's eccentricity would put her off and she can't risk losing the people she has fought so dear to protect

and a part of her doesn't want to have to fight anymore

she wants to join being with her family, being with you

not having to look over her shoulder just in case her sister-in law got in a mood and now there's one less place at the dinner table

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

These are a bit short, but I like these requests because it really makes me think how they would react and what they would want not only for yourself but for you

Anyways hope y'all enjoyed it even if this was a bit more rambley - Seluney xox