#astarion x gender neutral reader
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kittenintheden · 10 months ago
Text
Let Go
just a horny lil thing nbd
Rating: E Word Count: >1k Content: 18+, fluff, gentle sex, making love on a bearskin rug and being mushy about it, gender neutral reader
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It's taken time, encouragement, and familiarity to reach this point, but you're here now. Lost in bliss, riding your love's lap as he continues to take his pleasure in you. You've come already, of course, because Astarion is nothing if not a stubbornly attentive lover.
It's been work for both of you to get to this place of true comfort, of true loving abandon, and it's been so very worth it. Your post-orgasmic haze leaves your focus soft and glowing, your hands knit together behind his neck as you ride him, watching him finally let himself go and enjoy the moment to the fullest. A little selfishness. A little self-focus.
His eyes are closed as he sinks into the sensation of you, his arms wrapped around your back as he thrusts up, up, up, your body gently bouncing from it. Long and languid strokes going much sloppier than he'd normally allow, so many months ago, but he's no longer obsessed with the performance of the thing. He's here. He's inside you. He's letting himself feel it all.
Astarion takes a hand from your back and spreads it out against the bearskin rug where you're making love, giving himself more leverage as he lifts himself into your pliant heat. His breath comes in short bursts, little puffs past his lips. He tries to interject his favorite sultry quips when he can -- he is a man who loves the sound of his own voice -- but even those come out piecemeal.
"So hot inside," he pants, resting his forehead against the side of your cheek. "Feel so… bloody good. Want to… want to… I… please can I…"
You watch his face, the tension between his brows as his pleasure climbs, the way his lips part, the tips of his teeth just peeking through. His hair, his pride, falling unkempt and sweaty across his forehead. Your own body is stretched with aching pleasure, your recent peak leaving you sated and delighting in the simple joy of feeling him inside you.
It's magic, seeing him like this. No grand gestures, no performative moves, no catalog of exciting positions. Its just you, and him, and your collective ecstasy. Your collective love made physical. You smile to yourself, secret, and reach up gentle fingers to caress his ear, thumb rubbing soft circles, stroking along it lobe to tip, and he groans as he leans his head into it.
"Going to make… going to make me come, I… can't…" he stutters.
You know. You know exactly what you're doing, and you're rewarded with a long roll of his hips up into yours, his fingers gripping you tight, and the wrinkle in his brow smoothing out into relaxed rapture as his mouth stretches into a lazy, contented smile before it drops open. You watch the journey across his face as he reaches the crest of his wave and then crashes down with it to the other side.
He holds you tighter to him as he shivers, his last thrusts shallow and messy.
"Gods, gods, gods," he whimpers, going softer, going weaker, going still.
When he finally opens his heavy eyelids to look upon you, you know there are stars in your eyes. There is simply nothing like watching him let go for you. With you.
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sankttealeaf · 1 year ago
Note
Can I request Tav and astarion but they get trapped together and astarion has to feed but feels like Tav offering isn’t really giving consent since they are trapped and he thinks they feel obligated. Bonus points if they’re also bickering and pining for other
this was so much fun to write! i may have gotten a little carried away but i hope you enjoy!! requests are still open if anyone is interested<3 i'm really enjoying writing these and am open for more ideas!!
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
trapped
pairing ; astarion x gender neutral!reader
summary ; a wild treasure hunt leads to an unfortunate situation where you find yourself stuck in a cave-in with Astarion. / ao3
other info ; wyll, karlach and gale get special roles in this because i physically cannot stop myself from including other companions in the background. no real spoilers for the game so you're free to read wherever you are in the game!!
warnings ; vampire feeding, blood mention, vague mention of Astarion's past, general conversation surrounding consent (but everything is consensual because that's hot)
word count ; 5.9k (again. went a little wild)
You have no idea how long you have been walking for. It feels like days though you are certain it was only a few hours. The lack of sunlight is starting to get to you and the cramped cave system you are walking through is really not where you wanted to be today.
Was it a little ridiculous to be chasing a lead you found on a note on a dead traveller? Probably. Did you have to convince everyone that it wouldn't be a waste of their time? Yes. But here you are, travelling in the dark to hunt down buried treasure.
Karlach was more than happy to join you, in fact she was the first one who volunteered to be part of the “treasure hunting team”, as she called it. She managed to get Wyll involved and you were happy with this group. As you were getting ready to leave you had a last minute addition to the team - Astarion. Why he wanted to join you trekking through a damp cave, you had no idea. You weren’t going to ask, either.
So, here you are in the depths of a cave system, following a badly drawn map that should lead you all to hidden treasure. It took you way too long to get to this location and the day is already drawing to a close. You are certain you weren’t going to make it back to camp before nightfall. This treasure has to be worth it.
Through flooded areas and tight walkways, the deeper you get into the cave the quicker your hopes that this treasure would be easy to find crumbles. On the map it looks simple, yet the actual cave was difficult to navigate and you are not as prepared as you thought you would be. Perhaps you should have taken the spare rope from Halsin before you left camp. Karlach spends the time picking up interesting rocks she comes across, rushing over to show you with a grin on her face and a list of places to put it back at camp. You have a few rocks she gave to you in your pocket and you are glad that her optimism never falters the longer you travel. Wyll has marked arrows on the walls to keep track of where you have been, which is an idea that didn't even cross your mind until you noticed him doing it. And Astarion is… complaining.
Maybe complaining is the wrong word. It's more like he has been announcing loudly how he thought this would be an easy task to complete. He didn't sign up to be wading through knee deep cave water or scrambling over rocks to get to the next area. Neither did you, but you aren’t complaining about it.
You have managed to drown out his comments for the most part, keeping your focus on following the map and making sure not to get lost. There have been a few times where you almost walked on some loose stone and went plummeting down into the depths of the cave and you really didn't fancy getting stuck down here. You have also noticed the further you went into the cave the more dust and debris that fell from the ceiling. A sinking feeling begins to settle in your stomach and you approach each step with caution.
“Personally I think this map is leading us to a dead end,” Astarion says as he slinks up next to you, ignoring how lost in focus you were. “We should cut our losses and return back to camp before nightfall, don’t you agree?”
The dust from the ceiling drops in front of you again as you pause, reaching an arm out to stop Astarion in his tracks. “Be quiet, would you?”
“Everything alright?” Wyll asks from behind, hand reaching for his rapier in case something jumps out to attack.
Either something was down here with you or the cave ceiling isn’t as strong as you would like. You didn't know which thought was worse. Turning back to Wyll and Karlach, you shake your head slightly. “Be on your guard. Something’s off.”
“This is what I’ve been saying for the past five minutes. Have you seriously not been listening to me?” Astarion asks as you continue walking at a slower pace now, acutely aware of every foreign noise that doesn’t come from your group.
“Not really. I’m trying to keep us alive here,” you reply quietly, eyes darting from the floor to your surroundings in quick succession.
You stop in your steps as you hear the rumbling grow louder, though Astarion keeps talking even after you shush him again. It’s a rolling noise, one that grows the more you focus on it; a sound of rock against rock and a low rumble from above. You cast your gaze upwards and spot the beginnings of a large crack splitting the ceiling. Like pressure on ice, it splits into several off shoots before crumbling beneath whatever weight was on it.
You quickly pull Astarion towards you, dragging him away from the collapsing ceiling as you both fall to the floor with a thud. In an instant, your surroundings grow darker as a wall of stone and rubble barricades you and Astarion from Wyll and Karlach. The dust settles from the sudden upheaval of rock and the noise you have been hearing stops. Shit.
“Are you both alright?” Wyll calls out from behind the rubble and you can hear the sound of stone grating against stone which only cements your idea that this could be an early grave for you both if you didn't think fast.
You glance over at Astarion who is dusting himself off, rubbing at his elbow in a way that makes you assume he landed on it wrong. “We’re alive… just.”
“Does the map show any other ways to get to you? I’m not certain we can budge all this stone…” Wyll asks as you hear the sound of metal against the stone and a disappointed sigh from Karlach. You sit upright, grabbing the map from where it fell onto the ground and frown. It was a one way system, looping back around the way you came once you got to where the treasure was. This pathway is the only way in and out of the cave. You are stuck.
“So, uh… bad news… There’s no other way around,” you reply. The silence that follows on their end is not a good sign, however it is quickly broken by Astarion.
“What?!” He looks at you in dismay, his face falling at the thought of being stuck here. “You cannot be serious.”
“We’ll find a way to get you guys out! Don’t even stress!” Karlach yells. Her voice gets quiet but you can still hear her. “Do you think they’re stressed, Wyll?”
You take a moment to assess the cave-in, trying to budge a few rocks out of place but nothing moves. Perhaps with enough force they could be displaced, but you don’t have anything on that level right now.
“Wyll? Do you have anything that could push the rocks away?” you ask, hoping he has something in or on him that could force the rocks out of place.
“I don’t…” he pauses for a moment, before you hear him click his fingers together as an idea forms. “But Gale does. I know the spell you are hinting at. We can go back and get him?” he suggests, and you run the time it would take for them to get back to camp and back here again in your head. They would be back by early morning at the earliest… Which means you will need to spend the night in a cold, slightly damp cave. You give Astarion a look.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m not going to dig our way out. My hands are way too delicate for that,” he says, turning his back to the problem at hand.
“Gale seems to be our only way out, which means we may need to spend the night here…” you tell him.
“Gale? Our only hope? What is he going to do, talk the rocks to death?” He rolls his eyes. “Surely there’s another way out?”
“There isn’t.” You sigh, rubbing at your temples as you begin to feel a stress headache forming. “And he can use spells, Astarion. Gale can shatter the rocks or something. They’re too tightly packed to move them normally. We’re stuck here until he can sort it out.”
“Great. Wonderful, actually. I’ve always wanted to spend a night in a cave. Thanks for this, really!” His voice drips with sarcasm and you have to physically hold yourself back from getting annoyed at him.
“I didn't personally cause this cave in! You think I want to be stuck here with you like this? Gods, you are infuriating.”
Before the argument could escalate, Wyll calls out from behind the wall of rocks that he and Karlach are going to head back to camp and grab Gale. They’ll be as quick as they can, he promises. It gives you some reassurance that you will not be stuck here for too long with Astarion.
The sound of your fellow companions leaving fills you with anxiety as the clock begins to tick on getting you both out alive. This is not how you planned this trip to go and you are starting to wonder if this was even worth it at this point. Astarion didn't seem to think so.
"For your information, I am not sleeping on the floor with no bedroll. This is expensive fabric, I’m not ruining it.” Astarion gestures to his outfit as you begin to set yourself down on the ground, ready to call it a day.
“We’ve camped in worse places, I don’t understand why you’re complaining so much about this,” you say, rummaging through your bag and thanking the Gods you packed some food for yourself.
“At least at camp I have my tent. And all my belongings. And comfort. Do I need to go on?” He shifts in his stance, looking down the tunnel to avoid your gaze.
You glare at him. “Okay, fine, I guess this isn’t an ideal place to rest. But I don’t want to travel too far in case we get lost. And then we’ll probably die down here. Do you want that?”
He sighs but doesn’t make a comment. You take it as a win.
After placing the contents of your bag onto the ground you come to two conclusions. One: the floor is far too damp to start a fire which means you are going to spend the next few hours cold. Two: you have enough food for yourself, but you aren’t sure if Astarion bought anything of use with him. You didn't see him pack much before he said he was joining you. He is still standing when you look over to him again.
“Are you going to stand all night?” you ask as he nods, still avoiding your gaze.
“Like I said. Expensive fabric. I’m not ruining it because someone got us trapped in here,” he replies and you roll your eyes. Wordlessly, you unbuckle your cloak from your shoulders and place it down on the floor for him. The dampness of the floor is most likely going to ruin your nice and expensive cloak, but at least it will stop him complaining. Hopefully.
He looks from you to the cloak and back again, confusion crossing his face and disappearing as quickly as it arrived. “What’s that for?”
“Just sit down. Please.” You start to reorganise the contents of your back, returning the tinderbox and an almost empty waterskin but keeping out the food you swiped before you left. When you look back up, you see Astarion has sat down atop your cloak. You hold back a smile.
The silence that falls over the both of you is broken by droplets of water or the sound of other vaguely ominous cave noises. If your timing is right you are certain it was now early evening. Hopefully Karlach and Wyll have left the cave by now.
“Did you bring any food?” you ask after a little while passes. It’s only when the question leaves your lips that you realise it is a stupid one. The look Astarion gives you only enhances your point.
“Yes, actually. I have three live rabbits tucked neatly away in my bag in case I fancied a snack,” he responds, opening up his pack with a flourish. “Did you want one? I’m so happy to share.” A few books and his trusty thieves tools were the only things you spot before he shoves his bag to the side with a frown. “Of course I didn't bring any food.”
You feel bad holding a stale bread roll in your hand as he tells you that and you lower it down slightly, letting him continue his rant.
“I was considering going to hunt down a cave bat or something. Not what I wanted, but I guess a life of “adventure”-” he says the word with exaggerated air quotes around them, “means that I bury the idea that I’ll ever get a lavish meal again.” He crosses his arms in annoyance.
“You shouldn’t eat a bat. You could get sick. Rabies, or something like that,” you tell him, though you aren’t sure your fun fact is a welcomed sight right now. The look on his face tells you that it isn't. “Halsin told me that after I tried to convince him to keep a family of bats that were living near one of the spots we set up camp a while ago…”
Astarion blinks, unsure of how he is supposed to react to that nugget of information. “Now my meal options have been reduced to nothing. Thanks. You’re truly a beacon of hope.”
An idea pings into your mind as you take in how irritated he is getting, most likely from the lack of food on his part. Not that you have been keeping tabs on when he would feed but from your calculations it had been a while. The last time he fed on you was a week or so ago and you still felt the sting of his fangs against your neck even now. It is an uncomfortable sensation and you were certain that it would only happen again in dire circumstances.
This feels like a dire circumstance…
“You can feed on me if you want.” The words come out quickly before you have a chance to think too deeply about the implications of it. You take a mouthful of bread to stop yourself from taking back the offer.
The irritation on his face dissipates into a softer look, one you didn't recognize. His usual quick remarks have vanished at your suggestion and it takes him a good minute to respond. The minute feels like hours to you as you start to regret even offering. Was it weird? Did you say it in a strange way?
“You don’t… I mean, I’m sure I’ll manage until we get back to camp.” He waves nonchalantly though you are unsure if he really means it.
“No offence but I have noticed you lagging behind a little lately…” you begin, unable to hold your gaze on him. “I just assumed, well, y’know… Plus I have a lot of blood to spare, so I don’t mind.” You cringe a little at that last sentence, wondering why you said it like that.
“It’s really not a big deal, I’m perfectly fine! If need be I can always go and find…” he grimaces at the next few words that leave his mouth, “a cave rat or something.”
You aren’t sure if you should feel offended at how he hasn’t jumped on the opportunity to feed from a person. Maybe it is because of how little you allowed him to feed on you. Maybe he hates you and would rather drink blood from a rat than you. You push that thought away with a frown.
“Astarion, I’m offering this to you if you need to,” you say as you set down your own food. “I’d rather you do it while I’m awake this time.” You see that he is thinking of more ways to put barriers between him and feeding on you and you wish he could be straightforward with you and say no.
“You’re all the way over there and like I said before, I don’t want to get my clothes wet,” he says and you can’t help but laugh at that. “What?”
“You can tell me no, it’s okay. I just thought I’d offer seeing as I really doubt you’ll find many cave rats around.”
He’s quiet for a moment and you can’t work out what he’s thinking. With what little you know about Astarion and his past you can’t help but assume he hasn’t had that many opportunities to say no to things.
He considers his words, opening and closing his mouth a few times before sighing, looking at you with a soft frown. “I don’t want you to feel like you are obligated to do this considering our circumstance.”
You blink in confusion at that, unsure why he feels that way. You wouldn't have offered if you didn't feel comfortable in allowing him to feed, so why was he convinced you were doing this because there was no other option?
“We haven’t built up much of a feeding rapport, that’s all! We haven’t… done this much. It still feels new.” He looks away and it clicks in your head at once - he’s nervous. You are also incredibly nervous about this, but if it means he is at the top of his game afterwards then the pain would be a small price to pay for it.
“I have no idea how else I’m supposed to say this: I’m giving you permission to feed on me, Astarion.” You want to know what he is thinking as your words hang in the air. You want to tell him that this is you telling him it’s okay, you’re wanting this just as much as he needs it.
He waits a moment, like he is expecting you to tell him you're joking or change your mind but it doesn't happen. When he realises you mean this and aren't saying it for the sake of it, he gives you a nod.
"Alright. Only if you're sure," he says quietly, moving over on your cloak to give you room beside him. You move over to sit next to him, glad to be off the cold floor and sitting on something that wasn't as uncomfortable.
"Is this alright? Do you need me to be in a certain position?" you ask quickly, shifting yourself from sitting on your knees to crossing your legs.
"It's easier if you lay down," he replies, quickly adding, "for the blood flow."
"Right. That makes sense." You check to see how much room you have of your cloak behind you before shuffling forward, coming face to face with Astarion for a moment. The sudden closeness causes you to stop in your tracks for a moment, holding his gaze for a moment longer than what is normal.
It's strange how you never really see Astarion without his guard up. Whenever you two bicker it was always with his signature smile on his face and a carefree laugh after each comment. But seeing him here and now with the gentle furrow of his brows and the soft lines etched along his face you can't help but try to memorise it all. Without even realising you found yourself moving a hand up to brush some hair from his face, stopping yourself once it rested ever so lightly against his cheek. You are about to pull away until you feel him lean into the touch, something you had not planned on happening.
The sound of a loose rock falling a little way away causes the moment to break as you pull away from him quickly, ready to move in case there was another cave in.
In an instant, the facade he has is pulled back up. "Are you trying to get me to starve to my death?" he asks once you have realised there was no chance of another incident. You laugh a little in response, cheeks warming up at the moment the two of you just shared.
"Wanted the last thing I saw to be something good. You know, in case you drink all of my blood and I die," you tease, before laying back on your cloak. The reality of what was about to happen is starting to settle in now and you keep your focus on the ceiling above you, not on Astarion.
"I promise you I won't kill you. I don't have any way of getting you back and I'd rather not have to explain to the others what happened," he replies, hands moving to either side of your head to hold himself up. He's at an angle, legs staying to one side of you. It's a little awkward and you can tell it's not ideal for him.
"That's good to hear! I do bring a scroll of revivify with me everywhere so we have a backup plan… just in case." It is hard to keep your gaze on the ceiling now as Astarion leans over you. Your heart pounds heavily against your chest and you cannot work out if it's because you know you are about to lose blood and it was working to keep it flowing or perhaps because of something else you didn't want to admit to yourself.
"Are you ready?" he asks softly, and you can already anticipate the sharp sting of his fangs piercing your skin. You give him a nod and turn your head to the side, exposing your neck to him.
He leans in and you can feel his breath against your neck. It takes everything in you to not turn to look at him, even seeing him so close out of the corner of your eye was enough to redden your cheeks. You hope he didn't notice.
The sudden pain is sharp and takes you off guard, reaching to grab onto Astarion's shoulder tightly to try and take your mind off of it. It's not as bad as the first time he fed from you, but it certainly isn't any better. He shifts positions as you see his legs now straddling you, and if anyone were to suddenly burst down the wall of rock it would be a rather embarrassing encounter for everyone. You forgot how intimate this whole ordeal could be.
You close your eyes as the pain subsides, now giving way to a feeling of numbness that crashes over you. You're very aware of the feeling of his lips against your neck and it would be so easy to let yourself imagine this was something else entirely. But then you move and the discomfort of your blood being removed from your body kicks back in and you have to stop yourself from allowing him to take too much from you. You give his shoulder a soft squeeze, and when there's no response from him you are forced to find your voice.
"Hey…" You mumble, tightening your grip on his shoulder. "Astarion..?"
He does nothing except press himself closer to you, savouring every last drop he could get. Black spots begin to fill your vision and with what little strength you had in you, you smack your arm down into his side to get him to stop.
He pulls away from your neck at the impact, blood smeared across his lips and his pupils dilated - you can hardly see the red anymore. Would it be odd to say that he looked so very handsome like this?
"Shit," he says breathlessly, "might have over indulged there. Sorry."
You give him a weak laugh, feeling your head spin at the sudden blood loss. "S'alright. Just glad you didn't kill me."
His eyes glance back at your neck as you speak, and when he leans you worry that he was going in for round two. You are taken aback when he licks across the area he had just bitten. If you weren't so dizzy you would have questioned him as he sits back, still straddling your waist.
"I'm not about to waste perfectly good blood," he says, noticing the confusion on your face. "Are you alright, though? You look a little pale."
You give him a thumbs up, still laying down. "All good. Missing some blood, that's all."
He nods, watching as you close your eyes again. You could quite easily drift off to sleep right now, the dizziness and the general feeling of not being right only adding to the need to rest. When you don't feel Astarion move off of you, you open one of your eyes to make sure he was okay.
"Are you alright?" you ask, catching him deep in thought.
"Oh, yes, I'm great. Wonderful. Absolutely perfect," he replies too quickly for it to be truthful. You frown, sitting up slowly to be at eye level with him.
"Is there more blood there still?" you ask him, watching as his eyes keep going back to your neck. "If there is, you should get it."
His touch is so soft you cannot discern if he was cleaning up some blood on your neck or if it is a kiss. When it happens again you realise he isn't cleaning up your neck but kissing over the spot he had just bitten. It is a strange feeling and one you didn't expect to feel after being drained from your blood, but as he moves along your neck leaving faint kisses in his trail you wonder if perhaps he had similar feelings towards you as you did him. You have always been happy to push those feelings down, keeping your focus on the main goal at hand. But here, trapped in a cave with no one to bug you to keep on track, maybe you could indulge yourself this once.
Astarion pulls back from your neck to look at you, his lips are still tinted a softer red from your blood and you find yourself staring at them for a little too long. Gently, you place your hand back on his cheek, smiling when he leans into the touch again. His hand moves to cover yours and you are still in shock at how soft his movements are.
The gap between you both closes slowly and you are aware of what this would lead to. Playful remarks and comments about hooking up were one thing, but this was not playing out like how you imagined it would. You didn't picture yourself being stuck in a cave with him, for starters. You want to ask him if this was okay, if this was even allowed.
You opened your mouth to speak and are suddenly caught off guard by the sound of more rocks falling elsewhere, echoing through the cave. The sudden sound causes you to flinch as you both turn to look in the direction it came from, further along the tunnel. At least it wasn't the way you came, you thought.
Astarion looks back at you after a moment and clears his throat, sitting back to put some distance between you both.
"You should get some rest. I'll, uh, keep watch in case the others turn up," he says quickly, climbing off of your lap in a clumsy manner. You can't help but feel slightly sad at the loss of his touch, but sleep was begging for you to join it.
"Wake me if anything happens," you tell him as you lay back down, already closing your eyes. You don't hear his response as sleep greets you with open arms.
Sounds of your name being called over and over again wakes you up from your slumber. Your head hurts and you feel as if you've been fighting fifty different battles and didn't win one of them. There was a pressure on your chest and as you come to you are met with a mess of white hair laying on you, Astarion's arms wrapped tightly around your midriff. You smile softly at the scene, hand moving to brush through his hair slowly. He hums in response but the moment is broken by your names being called again.
"Are you both still alive?" It's Wyll, you note, which only means he and Karlach had either gotten lost and returned back or they had Gale with them.
"We're still here!" you call back, still groggy from sleep. "Is Gale with you?"
Gale's voice is heard next and you have never been so happy to hear him speak. "The one and only!"
"Thank the Gods. Gale, I promise you that I will buy you whatever you want when we get to Baldur's Gate, just please tell me you have a way to get us out of here," you say, hoping that he had good news with him.
Astarion stirs from all the loud conversation, pressing himself closer to you in an attempt to drown out the noise. You move your hand from his head as you try to sit yourself up. It doesn't work.
Gale continues speaking. "I have a way to get you both out, don't you worry. I will need to ask you both to stand as far back as possible. I mean it. Far. Back."
You give Astarion a shake of his shoulder, trying to wake him. "Hey. Get up. We're almost out of here."
"This is not a good time to wake me up," he grumbles, swatting your hand away with a groan. "Too early."
"Gale is literally on the other side ready to blow this wall of rocks up. Wake up." You continue to shake him awake, ignoring the groans of protest.
He turns to look up at you with pleading eyes. "He can wait five more minutes. Please?"
You want to say yes, to give in and allow himself a moment of comfort. But your back hurts from laying on rock for hours and you want nothing more than to sit in your own tent and get some fresh air. You sit up quickly, causing Astarion to lose his place on your chest and sit up with you.
"I cannot believe this betrayal," he exclaims dramatically, giving you a half-asleep but playful glare. "Being this pretty doesn't come easy, you know. I need my sleep."
"You don't even sleep," you mumble, ignoring how your head sways as you push yourself up to your feet. "And you're pretty enough already." You blame the aches and pains for that last comment, though it doesn't seem to go past Astarion as quickly as you wish it did.
He grins. "You think I'm pretty?"
"Shut up and move your things. I want to get back to camp." You begin to pack away your belongings, shoving things back into your pack and waiting for Astarion to do the same. He picks up your cloak and gives it a quick brush off before putting it on himself. You're too busy putting distance between yourself and the rocks to even notice this. He slides up next to you after a moment, arm wrapping around your shoulder with a grin.
"Okay, I think you're good to go!" you yell, hoping Gale can hear you through the wall. You get confirmation almost immediately afterwards.
You feel Astarion lean towards you as you wait. "I think we should get trapped together more often. Who knows what else it could lead to?"
"More puncture holes in my neck, probably," you mumble in response. He laughs, his lips meeting your neck again just under the place where he drank from you hours ago.
"But you're so delectable," he whispers and you glare at him. The blush rising on your cheeks tells him you aren't mad.
With an almighty crash of thunder, the rocks that made up the wall you have been trapped behind suddenly disperse, the larger ones shattering and the smaller ones turning into dust. You cover your face at the impact and when your ears stop ringing you turn to see Gale, Wyll and Karlach on the other side.
Karlach immediately runs over, arms outstretched and embracing both you and Astarion without thinking.
"I'm so glad you both aren't dead. I have no idea how I'd break the news to Scratch and the Cub! Or everyone else, I suppose," she says once she lets go of you both, your clothes slightly singed by the warmth emanating from her.
"Did you find the treasure?" Gale asks when the three of you walk back to him and Wyll and is only slightly disappointed when you shake your head no. "Ah, well, nothing lost then! I'm sure there's plenty of other treasure to be found. Hopefully not in caves, though. Might I suggest avoiding them in the future?"
"Suggestion taken. I miss sunlight," you reply, feeling Astarion's hand move from your shoulder to the small of your back.
"We had fun though, didn't we? A cave-in can certainly bring people closer together. Right, my dear?" Astarion grins, giving you a wink.
"As much as we all would love to know what that's insinuating, we really should get out of here before there's another freak accident," Wyll suggests, gesturing to the way out.
You nod, wanting nothing more than to breathe fresh air and be away from cramped spaces.
The journey out of the cave is long and feels longer due to the woozy feeling of having a little less blood than you started the journey with. You find yourself leaning on Astarion for support every now and then and he is more than happy to wrap an arm around you to keep you up. The two of you are at the back of the group; you didn't want your slow pace slowing everyone else down.
"I never thanked you earlier," Astarion says quietly to you, a look of sincerity on his face.
"Oh, it's no problem," you reply, nudging him with your elbow. "Just don't almost kill me next time."
"Next time?" He raises an eyebrow with a grin. "You'll allow me to go for seconds?"
"As long as you treat me as nicely as you did afterwards, I may consider it." Thinking about the almost kiss that happened after makes you blush and Astarion shrugs casually, though you can spot the faintest hint of pink spreading across his cheeks.
"Maybe. We can always do that without the biting part," he suggests. "Only if you want."
"I'd like that." You give him a smile, leaning over to press a kiss onto his cheek. "Only if you want, too."
The first sign of daylight causes you to pull away from him before he can respond as you rush over to the opening of the cave with Karlach, thankful to get fresh air again.
Astarion watches you go, listening to you cheering and praising Gods you didn't believe in. How quickly his plans could crumble. How quickly you made him feel accepted. There was a knot present in his stomach that was slowly untangling itself the more he thought about intimacy with you. Perhaps, one day, he would want that with you.
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littlejuicebox · 1 year ago
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Astarion talks in his sleep.
Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader/Tav (Shadowheart is our lovely supporting role though.) Summary/Setting: 6 months post BG3, "good/spawn" Astarion ending, all fluff Rating/Warnings: PG / Very mild if any game spoilers but nothing related to major content or scenes Word Count: 900+ Notes: Inspired by this post here!
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Astarion talks in his sleep. It’s something you’ve never mentioned to him, because it’s mostly when he’s having a nightmare about Cazador or some other horrid trauma from his past. You'd quickly determined it not worth bringing up, for fear of embarrassing him. Plus, if you were being honest, part of you found it rather endearing... especially the lighter drabble that would escape his lips. Delighted giggles, little purrs... it could be overwhelmingly adorable, on occasion.
In fact, the first time you ever heard him say he loved you was in his sleep. Then you'd waited weeks… anxiously, impatiently, unbearably for the revelation to come out while he was awake, under his own terms.
But tonight, the talking and tossing isn't cute. The vampire writhing in bed disturbs you, and your eyes flutter open, catching the smallest glimpse of daylight between the thick, tightly drawn curtains and shuttered windows of your bedchamber. You'd just fallen asleep, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't the slightest bit annoyed.
You idly try to figure out the date. Adjusting your schedule to the night life was… difficult; you often lost track of dates nowadays. But somehow you manage to remember that it's been nearly six months since you all saved Baldur's Gate; six months since Astarion had been returned to a creature of the shadows. Six months you've been in the house provided by the city as you two adjust to whatever normalcy you are able to conjure up and figure out your next steps. You were a strong proponent for the Underdark; Astarion was not quite sold.
At first you think the silver-haired elf's tossing and turning is a night terror… it’s been nearly two weeks since the last one. He’s overdue. You ready yourself to pop out of bed and grab your calming herbs to steep a quick sleeping draught. But then you hear him, soft and garbled, laced with thick strings of sleep.
“Will you marry me?”
You turn to stare stupidly at the elf, eyes piercing through the blackness of your room; his face is obscured, you cannot tell if he’s awake. “…what did you say?”
Silence. A long, unbearable stretch of silence where your heart is pounding into your throat, practically rattling around your chest cavity at the sudden shock. And then he’s snoring again, and you’re left with your brow furrowed and robe half pulled onto your shoulder. Well, so much for your sleep.
You meander down the hall to the kitchen, where Shadowheart has several jars and plants strewn across the table. She’s practically taken over the kitchen since Gale left, not that you particularly mind, since she’s also taken over the cooking.
“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep right now?” She asks, spotting you out of the corner of her eye, not lifting her focus from the mortar and pestle in her hand.
“You won’t believe what Astarion just said in his sleep.” You murmur in dazed response, walking over to the cabinets and rummaging through the contents. You grab an old kettle and fill it with water, turning to look at the cleric.
“Gods, what was it? I’m quite thankful to be out of the camp... his night terrors woke all of us up at one point or another. It's no wonder you’re struggling with the schedule adjustment.”
“He said, ‘Will you marry me?’” You respond, almost giggling at how silly that sounds in retrospect, as you place the kettle on the stove.
Shadowheart pauses. One, two, three beats of silence. “Shit… well, I guess the cat is out of the bag now.” She murmurs with a shrug, before returning to grinding her herbs.
“Wh-what?!”
“Oh, come off, don’t be daft! You had to expect it would be coming sooner or later. Gods, your love is almost sickening… it was sickening, having to hear it all the time... once again, so thankful for the separation of these walls.”
You are frozen, your hand still holding onto the kettle as you appraise your friend. Shadowheart is right. You knew a proposal would come sooner or later… you just figured it would be much later. Astarion was still struggling; more often than not you woke to him in tears or in the throes of a sleeping fit. Countless calming elixirs and teas had been drawn up by you and Shadowheart in the last six months. Truly, you hadn’t thought he was thinking that deeply about it... you hadn't been, if at all. Gods, you two still didn't even know where you were headed after leaving this city-supplied house... the lease was up in a few weeks' time.
“I guess… well, I suppose I didn’t think he was ready.” You sigh, lighting the stove and sitting across the table, watching the cleric as she works.
“Oh, trust me, he’s ready. And he's certain. Perhaps not about anything else... but definitely about this. He's been writing to Gale for weeks trying to source a particular ring." Shadowheart responds, now pouring the contents of her grinder into pouches. "Just promise you'll act like it's a surprise when the time comes... he's been talking about it for a while. He's put a lot of thought into things."
"When will it be?"
Shadowheart laughs, the edges of her eyes crinkling as she flicks her gaze toward the ceiling. She’s now cinching the sachets and sorting them all into a nearby basket. "Now that I'm not telling you. I've already given away too much."
You try for a few more minutes to pry the information from your friend, but she remains tight-lipped. You even threaten her with detect thoughts, though you both know you'd never go through with it. Finally, a whistle from the kettle beckons you back to the stovetop, and the conversation is halted as you ready your tea and aim to go back to bed. You might not know when your love is going to pop the question, but you do know that when the time comes, your answer will be a resounding yes.
Click here for Part 2
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dancingbirdie · 1 year ago
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I interrupt your daily schedules to present some purely plotless Astarion x gn! Reader smut. Courtesy of me listening to an oldie but goodie "What's My Name" by Rihanna ft. Drake during my morning commute.
Note that this is seriously NSFW so don't read below the break line unless you're a horny little gremlin like this pair or me since yeah I wrote it. :)
Like my smut writing? Find more here.
The Things We Could Do in Twenty Minutes…
Rating: MATURE
Pairing: Astarion x gn!Reader
Tags/Warnings: Oral sex (Astarion receiving), hand kink, slight praise kink, slight dom!Astarion/sub!Reader, public sex/exhibitionism
Summary: You and Astarion have been tasked with a scouting mission. You grow a little bored from waiting around and very horny watching Astarion play with his knife.
***
The two of you were leaning side by side against the alley wall. Watching. Waiting. Poised to strike whenever your quarry exited the tavern across the street. 
But it was late. You had been skulking about for hours. You were bored. 
And Astarion, gods damn him, was flush against you, smelling like temptation and sin. Subtle wafts of his signature bergamot, rosemary, and brandy scent teased your nose as his fingers idly spun his blade around in his hands. 
Your breath hitched as you watched him. Watched how gracefully those long, slender fingers absently played with the knife while his eyes scanned the street for any signs of activity. He was totally oblivious to your ogling, which was good because you could swear you were starting to salivate just watching him toy with his weapon. 
You wondered how those fingers would feel scratching against your scalp. Pulling your hair. Clasping your jaw. 
Fuck it, you thought. Throwing caution to the wind, you reached a hand forward to caress his chest. His head whipped around immediately to look at you, brow furrowed. It was an innocent enough gesture, but his eyes caught the look on your face, illuminated dimly in the silvery light of the moon. How your pupils were blown wide with unbridled lust. 
He smirked, one delicate fang peeking out from between his lips. 
“Can I help you?” he drawled. 
“You can actually,” you whispered. Your hand lightly traced down his chest, down his abdomen, before it stopped at the bindings of his trousers. 
You looked up at him beneath your lashes, your eyes beseeching.
“My, my,” Astarion chuckled, his voice like silk. “Wanting to play while we’re on the clock? Tsk. What would our comrades think?”
“It’ll make our cover seem more convincing, don’t you think?” you reasoned, licking your lips as you noticed the growing bulge between his legs. “Just two unassuming lovers, swept up in a moment of passion as they passed this dingy alley?”
“Our target should be leaving any moment now, darling. We wouldn’t want to miss our window of opportunity.”
“I give it at least twenty minutes before the tavern closes. And just think, the things we could do in twenty minutes…”
He gave a throaty laugh. “You make a very convincing argument. How could I ever deny you?”
“Is that a yes then?” your voice was husky, struggling to contain the urge to drop to your knees and taste him. You would wait for his consent. Of course you would wait. But you couldn’t deny the heady desires ratcheting up within you. 
“Yes,” he cooed, nuzzling your neck and planting a quick kiss against the fang marks he’d left earlier that evening. “Go on then, love.” 
“Thank the gods,” you groaned, immediately kneeling before him and undoing the bindings of his breeches. 
You captured him in your mouth as soon as his impressive length sprang free, tasting the salt and musk of him as you took him as far back as your throat would allow. Your eyes watered with the pressure of him pressing down your throat. It was the sweetest pain. 
You heard the muffled thump of his head as it hit the brick wall. You relished the tortured groan that spilled from his lips as you continued to gorge yourself on him.
Then a moan of your own vibrated against him as his hands moved to grip your hair. His fingers scratching against your scalp nearly had your eyes rolling back into your head. With your hands braced on his thighs, you continued to bob your head, sucking, licking and swallowing around him. 
He tasted like the purest drug you could ever inject into your veins. You would never tire of doing this for him. Of hearing and feeling how your mouth and tongue caused him to shiver and quake with pleasure. You could feel your own release building because of it, despite the lack of any stimulation to your groin. It didn’t matter. 
You had no desire for anything but Astarion’s pleasure tonight. 
“Look at me,” he growled suddenly. You felt his fingers clutch your jaw, tilting your face up to meet his eyes. 
You peered up at him as you continued to piston your mouth around his length, whining softly as you beheld the look in his eyes. 
“I want you to look at me while I cum in that gorgeous, sinful mouth,” he whispered, his hips beginning to buck into you, meeting your movements in perfect synchrony. 
You moaned again at his words, your mouth dripping with saliva and pre-cum as you continued to suck him. 
“Are you ready, darling?” he murmured, his other hand reverently stroking your hair. A stark contrast to the absolutely deplorable things you were doing to his cock. 
You gave a garbled assent, taking him in with a surge of passion as you anticipated the feeling of his release shooting down your throat.  
A few moments more and your anticipation was rewarded in full. You groaned as you heard him grunt. Felt his final, feral thrust into your mouth. Tasted the salty sweetness of his cum on your tongue. 
As he came down from his high, you gave him one last, obscene lick before removing your mouth. Slouching against the wall, utterly spent, he watched as you deliberately met his eyes and swallowed his cum with a gulp. He hummed his approval, grinning wickedly. 
“You naughty thing,” he crooned. “You’ll be the death of us both.”
You returned his grin with an impish one of your own before wiping your mouth clean on the sleeve of your shirt and rising to stand next to him once more. 
You surveyed the street. Scanned the tavern for signs of movement. Nothing was amiss. Your quarry hadn’t escaped.
“See?” you murmured, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Twenty minutes was all I needed.”
***
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ancuninfiles · 8 months ago
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Astarion's post-nut clarity is so real. It's not like regular post nut clarity because he literally just almost killed Tav from drinking their blood as he nutted in them. He looks up and goes "Oh shit" and panics looking for a scroll of lesser restoration or the Amulet of Silvanus cause he doesn't want to make the walk of shame to Shadowheart's tent with a half-dead bloodless Tav in his arms. (This happens at least once a week.)
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carooosa · 10 months ago
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Can I Kiss You?
Word count: 600 Rating: Mature Pairing: Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader Warnings: 18+, kissing, grinding AO3 link: Can I Kiss You?
Summary: You decide to try something different with Astarion: kissing with no intention of going further
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You’re leaning up against Astarion, your head gently resting on his shoulder as he reads a book. For the first time in a while, you have nothing planned for the day. You caress his arm holding up the book, watching intently as he flexes underneath your touch.
“Are you wanting to do something, love?” Astarion asks with hooded eyes.
“Well, yes-“ you start to reply before he tosses the book off to the side and starts to climb on top of you. You press your hands against his chest, creating a barrier between the two of you. “Wait.”
“Is everything alright? Am I going too fast?” Astarion asks with worry.
“No, nothing like that,” you reassure him, “I was thinking that maybe we could just… make out? With no intent of going further?” You wrap your arms around his body and look up at your lover with genuine affection, and he all but melts into your embrace. “Is that alright?” you ask.
A gentle smile appears as he whispers a delicate ‘yes’ before stroking your hair with one hand. He cups the other hand around your face and leans down, placing a soft kiss on your lips. You reciprocate his touch by tightening your hug around him, kissing him sweet and slow in return. A delighted hum starts in the back of your throat as you take in the coolness of his lips against yours.
You grip onto his shirt and gingerly press your tongue against his lips. He accepts your advance and a tender dance begins between the two of you. Astarion holds you as you make out, playing with your hair.
You start to pick up the pace, growing hungry for more of the man you love. He slightly pulls your hair, causing you to gasp and open your mouth wider. He takes the opportunity to plunge his tongue deeper into your mouth. You feel him start to gently rock against your body, his growing erection grinding against you.
He pulls back from the kiss, his eyes wide as he asks, “Is this okay? Can I… grind on you?”
You smile as you hook one of your legs around his back, forcing him into you. “More than okay,” you whisper before taking his lips into a needy kiss.
He groans against your lips, the vibrations sending a wave of bliss through your face. He rolls his hips into yours, barely noticeable at first, before he begins to rock further into your body with each kiss. You match his rhythm and the two of you embrace the tenderness of the moment.
The kiss slows and Astarion pulls away from your lips, choosing instead to place small kisses all over your face. He rolls over and takes you with him, placing you on top of his body as he holds you tightly.
“That was nice,” he sighs.
You respond with a grunt before sleep takes you, the safety of Astarion's arms providing more comfort than you have felt the past few weeks. Astarion watches as your breath slows. He gingerly brushes your hair out of your face and places a gentle kiss on your forehead.
He wouldn’t dare say it if you were awake lest you make some sappy monologue about how much he means to you, but in the quiet of his tent he whispers, “I love you.”
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dragonsfictavern · 8 months ago
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In The Wind 
Astarion Ancunin X Reader
a/n: This came to mind specifically because of the scene in 2005 Pride and Prejudice where Bingley is trailing after Jane and touching the ribbon on her dress. So keep that in mind bc it haunts me in the best way
summary: After your tunic gets torn in battle, you and Astarion head to a shop to get materials to get it fixed. Astarion, trapped in thoughts surrounding you, decides to do something to properly show his appreciation
word count: 2k
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The day was cool, the breeze blowing through the opened door of the fabric store you and Astarion currently walked through. The others were Gods knew where but Astarion didn’t particularly care where they were. His thoughts were on you. More and more he found that his thoughts always came back to you.
Baldur’s Gate was loud. It has always been loud. Something Astarion remembered specifically. But he found the sound drained out as he stared down at a beautiful ribbon. At first he couldn’t exactly say what about it had caught his attention. What kept it. But upon reflection he noted how it reminded him of your eyes.
Cursing himself under his breath, Astarion threw down the ribbon and glanced away from the pile of fabrics. But just as his eyes lifted from the box, they fell right onto you. You who stood right in the sunlight, whose hair flowed through the wind that passed through the store.
He couldn’t look away from you, once again not really believing that you somehow cared about him. You were so… good. It was honestly almost nauseating. But it was also something he admired about you. It made him want to be better. To be better than what he was before. Most importantly for him. But he couldn’t deny he also wanted to be better for you. To be someone you could be proud to love.
Astarion walked around one of the makeshift aisles of the store. You were busy as you looked over some of the patches of fabric while Astarion was busy as he watched you. He didn’t blame you for not having noticed his stare. You were on a mission after all. Your tunic had been badly torn in your party’s last battle. The tear could easily be mended by you and the enchantments on it could be replaced by Gale if he was going to actually be helpful today.
But Astarion knew you weren’t the most gifted tailor. At least, not better than him. He could do a fine job, he’d been doing it with his own clothing for longer than he’d care to admit. A rare warmth spread through his chest as the idea came to him. When you least expected it, he’d take the fabric from you and fix your tunic before you even noticed it would be missing.
Something in him told him he just had to do this. To show you he cared, at least enough to do something as little at this… and to show you that you weren’t making a mistake as you stuck by him. Astarion closed his eyes as he shook out those unwanted thoughts. Not wanting to think about any of that or what it meant.
When Astarion opened his eyes he’s met with you walking away, a long piece of fabric hanging from your belt. A brief shot of panic ran through Astarion as you walked away, only deeper into the store to pay for fabric. Yet that didn’t shake away the fear. Astarion cleared his throat in order to push down the panic and put it with the rest of his emotions he was ignoring before he headed after you.
He doesn’t say anything, knowing he doesn’t need to. He knows you know he’s there. The wind blew through the store once again and your scent wafted straight into Astarion’s nose. He closed his eyes as he continued to follow you. He relished in the way you smelled. Focused and memorized it, knowing he could pick it out of an entire crowd of people. Aware of the fact that he could find you in an instant if needed. But still he preferred to remain close. Have you stay in his sights.
As he opened his eyes and looked back upon you, his eyes moved down your form. Not stopping until they halt at the fabric on your belt. He hand reached out and lightly fiddled with the end of it that flowed in the air after you. Neither of you have stopped walking, Astarion not thinking as he walked behind you. His attention completely focused on the fabric and the way it hung off of you. On how beautiful it would look on you.
He then noted how soft the fabric was. How easy or difficult it could possibly be to work with. A plan already had formed in his head at how he’d stitch it into your tunic. It would be flawless, just as all his other work had been prior. Just as his thoughts shifted into imagining your reaction, your voice broke him out of it.
“Are you trying to pickpocket me?” You ask softly, not having bothered to check back and glance at him. Astarion blinked back, hand still gripped onto the fabric, though his eyes found their way to the back of your head. Before he realized what he’s done, an easy grin was on his face and a joke had slipped from his lips.
“You, my darling? Never,” Astarion jested, both of them keenly aware of the fact. He gave a little tug on the fabric for good measure and was rewarded with the sweet melody of your laugh. You shook your head as you both turned a corner, seemingly in search of an attendant.
“Oh, don’t give me that. No one is safe,” you teased right back but for some reason Astarion felt his grin drop a little. His brows furrowed as he quickly thought over your response. The word ‘safe’ having run repeatedly in his ear. He wanted you to feel safe. With him. He wanted you to know that you were safe from him. Whatever that meant he didn’t exactly know but it was what he felt. From what he could pin point.
He debated even telling you all this. To have allowed himself to randomly unleash his soul to you in the middle of a random shop in a city that held so many memories for him. But then he started to think about what you’d say in response. How you would react. Emotion begun to rise within him at the idea of admitting any of that to do. So instead he simply continued the light and fun banter.
“Well now I suppose I must for fear that I have something to prove.” Astarion gave another tug to the fabric, though this time a little bit lighter in order to have kept up the playful atmosphere. As your laughter echoed throughout the store due to his actions, all those pesky emotions subsided.
You lightheartedly pranced forward a few steps in a weak attempt to get your fabric out of his reach but Astarion followed right on your tail. Both to stop you from getting away and to stop any other displaced emotions from coming forth from your distance.
“Or you could simply not steal my fabric from my person,” you responded with laughter still in your tone. Astarion tsked as he shook his head at you. He picked up his pace, walking closer to you now. He adjusted his grip on the fabric, getting ready for his next move.
“No, darling, I’m afraid that doesn’t seem to be an option,” he said smoothly before he harshly tugged on the fabric for the third time. It slipped from your belt with ease and curled right around Astarion’s hand. You immediately felt it and a gasp ripped from your throat.
You turned around, finally facing Astarion since you both walked in here. You looked breathtaking. Astarion could marvel at your beauty for hours. At times he’d almost swear it’s greater than his own. Almost. But he especially thought your beauty shined most spectacularly in the sun, and it had hit you just right in this moment.
“Ah, Astarion! Why must you do this?” You asked with a light grin on your face. Astarion mirrored it, holding the piece of fabric slightly above his head as he knew you wouldn’t be able to reach it. That didn’t stop you from trying as you stepped up to him to try and reach for it. Your body pressed against his and instead of feeling like he needed to back away, not wanting to be touched, Astarion found himself leaning into you.
“I believe you practically asked me to do this, love. Begged me to almost as much as you beg for my attention,” he boasted, his expression smug as you continued to try and grab at the fabric. He’d lower it briefly just as you’d reached for it but then quickly bring it back up. You laughed again, shaking your head at him. Astarion didn’t realize until that moment that he had been counting the number of times he had made you laugh. The revelation sent a tremor through his chest that he’d rather just ignore.
“My dear Astarion, I think that tadpole in your mind has finally driven you to insanity,” you said with a light scoff. Astarion’s face dropped into a deadpan at that, though he couldn’t help the quirk of his lips still present.
“Dear me, how humorous you are, darling,” he responded back flatly, though a teasing note was still clear through his tone. His attention zeroed in on you once again as you snickered back at him. Astarion fell deeper into his focus, his ears ringing till he felt a deep pounding surrounding him. He didn’t realize before it was too late that he had focused on your heartbeat. It sounded light. Happy. Because of him.
While he remained distracted, his body sagged in place, not paying attention to his momentary lack of posture. You don’t hesitate to use that to your advantage as with it he had lowered his arm that held the fabric. You reached up, your arm having stretched as far as it could go before you swiped up the fabric right from his grip. A noise of victory left your lips and it effectively alerted Astarion. He blinked back, breaking out of his thoughts. It only took a couple of seconds for him to realize he didn’t have the fabric anymore. He met your smug look with a bit of disbelief as his eyes connected back to yours.
“I try,” you replied playfully to his previous comment as you winked at him. Astarion stood there frozen for a moment before he added another mental tally as you laughed once more. You strode off to barter with the owner as Astarion stood off to the side while he waited for you.
He couldn’t understand how easy this all was for you. How open with yourself you had always been. Especially toward him. He… didn’t know how to do stuff like that. To let you in so easily. But stitching this for you, even without your initial knowledge, that he could do. It was the only way he knew how to express what you meant to him. It was all he was ready to do. For now anyway.
So as you walked past him after you purchased the fabric, Astarion stayed particularly close. As you both entered the hustle and bustle of Baldur’s Gate’s streets, there were a lot of things around you both that served as proper distraction. Astarion struck when the time was right, just as another vendor started a loud argument with a customer, you looked over and that’s when Astarion reached out and slipped the fabric off of you with the lightest touch he could have managed.
He gazed down at it with a smile on his face and a sense of victory in his heart, his thumb brushed over it lightly as he reminded himself of its softness. But when you started to turn your head back to him, his eyes jerked up and the fabric disappeared within the confines of his inventory. You snorted as ruckus that continued off to the side and as you looked at him, Astarion plastered on another one of his signature grins.
It was only after you chuckled at him and looked back forward that Astarion found his grin had softened. He looked toward the streets just as you had as he counted down the minutes till you both got back to camp and he could get started. He wondered if you’d like it and what you’d say when you found out. Most of all though he wondered if you’d know what it meant. If you’d see through him as you always seemed to. Strangely, this time around he kind of liked that thought.
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madschiavelique · 4 months ago
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Hi! Could I request a drabble about some spawn!Astarion x reader cuddles? Our favorite vampire deserves some quality cuddle time. Thank you! ❤️❤️
thank u anon for ur request !! YESS some cuddle time for astarion <3
─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ pairing : spawn!astarion x reader
─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ content warning : just fluff, tooth rotting fluff actually, gn!reader (i think ? correct me if i accidentally put some fem!reader stuff), no use of y/n
─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ words : 709
( not proofread, english is not my first language ☆)
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When Astarion discovers that bodies can do other things than being here for the pleasure of another only and that he has power over his own body, believe me, he won’t go of you.
In public I can see him being a bit more reserved, which probably derives from the fact that for so many years he simply couldn’t allow himself to show that he could express love in case Cazador would find a way to use it against him.
He wants to take your hand in public, wants to kiss you on the forehead while you’re looking at a stand of weapons and deciphering which one would be better for your party, but he always fears he is being watched and that because of him you could be a target.
You respect his points of view, even if you wish it could be otherwise.
But when you get back to camp, that’s a completely different story.
Astarion would be sitting as his back rested against a huge cut tree trunk, listening to whatever conversation was happening between Gale and Lae’zel as the wizard asked more about that astral plane of hers. You’d walk up from behind him, his gaze laying on you with a soft smile as you sat on the trunk behind him, his head falling back in your lap.
You’d place your hands on his head, combing his hair with your fingertips.
He’d close his eyes as the pieces of any nearby chatter blurred away, your caresses making him forget where he was. It felt so good to untense under your fingers, to have this attention just for himself and no one else.
You lowered your head to kiss his forehead, making him smile while keeping his eyes close. He grabbed both of your wrists, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as you whispered “I have to go help with dinner, want anything ?”
He knew you were aware about vampire’s specific diet, although you had made meticulous care in finding proper blood within any fight victims or animals that could have suited his palate. 
He hummed, opening his eyes as he exhaled with a smile, “You.” 
Hearing your laugh made him open his eyes softly, “You can’t have the desert for your only meal.”
He closed his eyes again, replacing his head a bit better and shifting his position on the hard ground - your caresses had made him forget how stiff his original position felt.
“That’s a stupid rule,” he managed to sigh.
You were about to remove your hands but he tightened his grip the slightest bit, his ruby eyes pleading.
“Stay a bit longer,” he asked, leaning his cheek in one of your palms.
You eyed for a moment the other companions on dinner duty prepare the fire for the night, and turned back to astarion, “five more minutes.”
He didn’t battle, didn’t bargain for more of your time, and just relished in the feeling of you.
Later that night, as candles in the tents were put out one by one, he came to yours.
There was no words needed, you simply opened your cover for him to come lay with you.
You’d take him in your arms, caressing his back as he placed soft pecks in the crook of your neck which made you giggle. He’d whisper sweet nothings in your ears, kiss your cheeks and try not to bite them as if they were the sweetest fruits he wanted the juices of.
He’d hug you so tight, would spoon you when you sleep as he’d stay awake just to admire you
But one feeling was irreplaceable, and he did it every night he had the opportunity to do it.
He’d lay on top of you, his ear pressing against your warm chest as he listened to the sounds of your heart.
He sometimes had the realization at times that your heart was beating for him. This thing that could be held in his hand, so easily crushable by anyone. He had one at a time, and if it was still alive it’d beat hard for you.
He wished he could just take your hand and say “can you feel it ? can you feel how loud my love is for you ?”
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bhaal-baby · 10 months ago
Text
Gods Damned Feelings
Word count: 1274
Rating: SFW
Pairing: Astarionx gn!Tav
Triggers: minor injury
Summary: Astarion struggles with his budding feelings as he takes care of Tav after they are downed in a fight.
Tav went down in a bloody heap. 
 Astarion all but shoved Shadowheart in their direction. “Help them. Now godsdamnit!” 
He couldn’t help the dread pooling in his stomach at the sight of them, prone and defenseless, as Shadowheart raced towards them. He stuck his dagger in the throat of the bastard who’d done it, kicking his lifeless body to the ground before dropping to his knees at Tav’s side. Shadowheart was already at work, channeling magic into them. Astarion watched as some of their wounds began to knit closed at her touch, but their eyes remained closed. “Are they going to be alright?” he asked, not liking the desperate tone in his voice. 
Shadowheart gave him an odd look. “They’re fine. They just need some rest. They took a serious blow to the head. We should get them back to camp.” 
She nodded to Gale, who knelt down to scoop them up. 
“Don’t.” Astarion cringed, hearing his own voice. “I’ve got them.” 
Gale shrugged, looking amused. He couldn’t place why, but the thought of Tav in his arms filled him with a rage he didn’t understand. Bloody bookworm would probably drop them anyway. 
The walk back to camp was a long one. Astarion’s arms burned against the weight of Tav’s body, slack and lifeless in his grip. He focused on the steady rise and fall of their chest, finding comfort in knowing they were still breathing. They were still here. 
He couldn’t understand the emotions coursing through him. He was never supposed to care like this. Their entire…whatever they had was a ruse. It wasn’t real. They were a mark, and he had them exactly where he wanted them. They were like all the rest, helpless to his honeyed words and easy charm. They desired him, and he desired something from them. It was supposed to be simple. 
But they weren’t like all the rest, were they? When he spoke they listened, hung on his every word. They cared about what he had to say, his past, the things he’d been through. They’d drawn the scars on his back so he could see them, and when they promised they would help him discern their meaning, he believed them. While they always acquiesced to his invitations to his bed, they never pushed. They never asked for more. It was as if they saw him for more than just his body. Astarion could have laughed at that thought, as unbelievable as it was. But still, the way they held him after a night together, the tender way their hands brushed against his chest like that was all they were after. No one had ever touched him so gently. 
Tav stirred slightly as Astarion set them down on their bedroll but they didn’t wake. They looked so small like this, all traces of the warrior he knew out on the battlefield, tearing through hoards of enemies, were gone. Their breathing was still steady, thank the gods, but they were in a state. Blood caked their face and clothes and a nasty bruise was forming on their forehead. Shadowheart would have to take another look at them once she’d rested and regained some of her magic. He knelt beside them, tucking a strand of hair behind their ear. 
Astarion hated this. He hated seeing Tav like this. He hated the feelings this whole situation was dredging up inside of him. He hated the longing because gods, he realized how much he longed to hold them. It wouldn’t do any good to deny it, he wanted them wholly and truly. It was fucking terrifying. He’d not allowed himself to want anything in so long, it never got him anywhere. Everything good in his life was swiftly taken from him, and he couldn’t bear to have them ripped away as well. Like they almost were today. 
He’d gone this long not getting what he wanted, so he figured it wouldn’t kill him this time. But still, he couldn’t leave them like this, bloodied and hurt. So he got to work. 
Astarion slowly and carefully lifted Tav up, propping their weight against his chest as he removed their ruined clothes. Shadowheart’s spell had closed the worst of their wounds, but blood still stuck to their skin, making the bruises and scrapes leftover look as grisly as ever. Tav mumbled something in their sleep as he gingerly set them back down. 
He tore some rags from bits of cloth he had in his pack while a pot of water boiled over the coals of the fire. He used them to wipe the blood from Tav’s face first, being as gentle as possible around the bruise forming above their eye before tending to the rest of them. He hoped they would forgive him for seeing them in such a vulnerable state, he knew he would hate such a thing. He breathed a sigh of relief once the blood was gone. Their injuries weren’t nearly as bad as they had looked before. 
Next, he collected their clothes, washed them in a nearby stream, and set to mending any holes he could with the sewing kit he kept in his pack. A few blood stains refused to wash out but overall, they were much better than they were before. After laying them out to dry near the fire, he returned to Tav’s side. 
They slept peacefully still, every once in a while mumbling something incomprehensible in their sleep. Astarion felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth as he watched. He might never know what it means to have them the way he so desperately wanted to; he didn’t trust his luck enough for that, but for the moment, he let himself pretend that they had something real. Something special, something no one could take away from him. Not Cazador. Not the Absolute. Not some asshole cultist out in the woods. He let himself pretend they might even have a future together when this was all over. 
That was all it was. Pretend. But even so, he knelt down beside them and placed a gentle kiss over the bruise on their forehead, longing for something real. 
Tav’s eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times before choking out, “Astarion?” 
He let out a shaky sigh. “Yes, love. I’m here.” 
They looked confused for a moment before cracking a weak smile. “Kiss me again.” 
Damn. How long had they been awake? But he couldn’t ignore the note of pleading in their voice, so he lowered his mouth to their forehead again. Tav made a happy noise in response, sending a bolt of electricity down his spine. 
Gods, he was fucked. 
“How long have you been watching me sleep?” Tav asked, a hint of mockery in their voice. 
“I was not watching you sleep.” he lied. “I was merely checking to make sure you hadn’t died. You’ve been asleep for hours.” 
Tav looked confused. “I have? Oh shit, that fight–I totally forgot. What happened?” 
“You nearly got yourself killed, thats what happened.” he chided. “Don’t do that again.” 
Tav chuckled. “Keep waking me up like that, and I’ll make a point of getting knocked out more often.” 
“Next time, I’ll rouse you with a bucket of cold water.”  Astarion deadpanned. 
“That’s more like it. I was worried you were going a little soft on me.” They laughed, wincing a bit as they did so. 
Astarion instinctively reached out to grab their hand, not wanting to see them in pain. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that that was exactly what was happening. Tav was making him softer, in all the best and worst ways. 
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nerdallwritey · 3 months ago
Text
Awfully Fond of You
Request: i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a little something for act 1, during the tiefling party for an autistic tav who has a crush on astarion but also has body insecurities + SA trauma, maybe instead of the usual scene that goes down they request to bathe with astarion instead? a tav with poor interoception (sense of awareness with one’s body) who loves to help and touch others but doesn’t quite register others touching them or how they feel about it but still craving intimacy with astarion is something i’m obsessed with (*^^*)*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・* i love your writing style and NEVER request so im super nervous!!  - 🪴 (Link to original request here).
Pairing: Astarion x gn!reader Rating: 18+ - no smut, but mature themes Word Count: 7.7k CW: Very vague alludes to SA trauma, reader is a sweetie pie, Astarion is an idiot as always - No explicit smut this time; this one's mostly fluff! Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3
a/n: Hello folks! I come bearing my very first request fulfillment! As you can tell from the ask, 🪴 anon wanted something very personal and sweet, and I'm incredibly honored that they chose me to see their vision come to life. I did my best to hit every beat they requested, while also staying true to my writing style, which, of course, means there's plenty of banter to be had. Yes, it is a bit similar to An Evening To Ourselves and Perfect Every Time (I swear I was in the middle of writing that one when I received this request), but I'm pleased with how this new remix of Astarion's Act 1 romance scene turned out! And yes, the title IS based on a lyric from everyone's favorite Sesame Street bath time song, "Rubber Duckie." HIT IT, BOYS! (Thank you, as always, to @kermitwazowski for beta reading!) NOTE: This Tav is completely separate from bard!Tav and does not take place in the same universe as Beauty and the Bard. Part 5 of that coming soon! And my request box is open!
Without further ado, 🪴 anon, I hope you like it!
The air in camp was abuzz with laughter and cheer. Booze flowed into goblets and down throats, and smiles graced the faces of nearly every guest currently in attendance of the last minute celebration thrown together by you and your companions.
With the goblins and their leaders defeated in what turned out to be a rather difficult encounter, Halsin and Zevlor had insisted on celebrating with you and your party at your campsite before the tieflings made their way to Baldur’s Gate within the next few days. 
Alfira supplied the evening with a somewhat constant stream of joyful songs, only stopping every so often to enjoy a drink with Lakrissa, while other tieflings danced and mingled with each other, relief and excitement making their shoulders relax as they reached for more goblets of wine. 
You were in the process of making your rounds through the party; you’d shared a drink with Shadowheart, some jokes with Gale and Karlach, a quiet moment with Wyll, and a confusing conversation with Lae’zel about limbs being torn from a neogi? You weren’t entirely sure what those even were, but you had to assume they were a fearsome creature if Lae’zel was bringing it up. 
That only left Astarion.
To be honest, you’d been avoiding him all night. Try as he might to catch your eye whenever you passed by, whether it be with a pointed clearing of his throat or a blatant call of your name, you would zero in on something else, and focus all your attention on that. Even if it meant sitting through an extended conversation with Volo. 
But now, there was nowhere left to go. Unless you opted to avoid him completely. And that would only lead to questions from your companions that you wouldn’t know how to answer.
It wasn’t that you didn’t like him. No. In fact, it was the exact opposite. You liked him a lot. And you weren’t sure what to do about it. 
Astarion was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen and you were… you. You’d been you, your whole life, and knew for a fact that the pair of you were an odd couple. Where he was crass, you were kind. Where he was violent, you opted to talk things through. 
And yet, you couldn’t help but enjoy spending time with him. His bloodlust was fascinating to watch, and you loved sparring both physically and verbally with him. More than once, you’d both saved the other’s ass in a sticky situation during battle. More than once, you’d allowed him to drink from you to ease his sanguine hunger. 
You were pretty sure that at the very least, he considered you a friend, though you weren’t sure he’d ever directly admit that to you. Unlike Gale and Wyll, who often reminded you how much they appreciated your friendship, Astarion was much tougher to read. Yet despite his somewhat malicious name calling and disapproval towards your actions, you couldn’t help but feel that he had a soft spot for you. Even when you were telling him he couldn’t kill a man in cold blood, it seemed like he legitimately enjoyed your company. The thought made you smile softly.
Taking in a deep breath and straightening your posture, you finally willed yourself to approach the vampire.
His eyes lit up in that way they often did when he was preparing to tease you.
“There you are, darling,” he said, dramatically. “I was worried I’d never see you again.”
“Worried I’d leave you, huh?” you teased with a smirk. 
Astarion tsked. “Perish the thought. But I recognize someone avoiding me when I see it.”
“Ah,” you clasped your hands in front of yourself, looking down at the ground, “you noticed that.”
“When I usually have to pry you away from me, yes, I noticed.” He took a swig of the wine he was holding.
You nodded and bobbed back and forth on your toes. “Best for last, I guess?” you shrugged your shoulders and smiled at him, hoping he’d drop the subject.
He hummed lamely. 
“So,” you perked up, “are you enjoying the party? I see you’ve been indulging in the spirits.”
“Watching me, were you?” Astarion smirked and you held up your hands, caught.
“Guilty.”
“You know,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “I never pictured myself as a hero.”
You reached out to squeeze his arm. “Don’t say that.”
His eyes met yours, and he gently pulled his arm out of your grasp. He cleared his throat before continuing.
“Never thought I’d be the one they toast for saving so many lives. And now that I’m here…” He closed his eyes and took another swig of his wine. When he brought the bottle away and opened his eyes, he met you with a scowl. “I hate it. This is awful.”
You laughed. “Really? Saving lives is awful?” 
Astarion rolled his eyes. “We killed some goblins to save some tieflings. The tally of lives didn’t change much.”
“You’re awful,” you shook your head affectionately. 
He looked smug before puffing his chest. “And what do I get for all my hard work?”
“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.”
“Nothing but a pat on the head, and vinegar for wine.” 
You pursed your lips and reached for the bottle, brushing your fingers against his own. 
“Let me try,” you said, lifting the bottle to your lips and taking a sip. Your tongue was flooded with the bitter taste of fermented grapes and something else you couldn’t place. Your face scrunched at the flavor and Astarion snorted.
“See what I mean? Awful.”
You handed the bottle back to him, smacking your tongue to get rid of the aftertaste. He took the opportunity to continue speaking.
“All I want is a little fun. Is that so much to ask?”
You let out an amused scoff. “Knowing you, it probably is.”
Astarion lifted a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Oh, don’t be so sour. I like a good time as much as anyone.”
“‘Sour,’” you repeated, pointing at his wine bottle. “Good one.”
He smirked. “You know, we could always make our own entertainment, darling.”
“Oh, really?” You lifted an eyebrow. “And what does that entail?”
“We could get a little closer, so to speak.”
You were suddenly very aware of how close you were standing to Astarion. You took a considerable step backwards and crossed your arms. 
“Sorry, I was really close to you just now, wasn’t I?” You rubbed up and down your bicep awkwardly.
Astarion blinked before his face settled into a seductive smirk. He reached his free hand out to rest on your hip. “On the contrary, my dear. I rather like it when you’re close.”
“Oh, good,” you sighed in relief. You brought your hand down to where Astarion’s rested on your hip. “Sometimes I can’t tell.”
He chuckled, squeezing your hip slightly. “So what do you say?”
“To us getting closer? I don’t mind!” To emphasize your point, you took a step forward and rested your other hand on his shoulder.
Astarion furrowed his brow. Then he chuckled again, gently removing both of your hands from his body. “While I appreciate your enthusiasm, let’s wait until things quieten down. Once the others are asleep, we’ll find each other.”
“Okay, now I’m really interested in what kind of entertainment you have planned.” You smirked at him, sensing a shift in his tone, but unsure of what it meant. “Don’t tell me you’re a master of shadow puppets or something.”
He smiled skeptically. “Very funny,” he said slowly. “But I trust you’ll meet me?”
You giggled. “Yes, I’ll see you later, Astarion.” 
“Indeed you will, my love. Indeed you will.” Rather than bid you a proper goodbye, Astarion brought the wine bottle to his lips once more and turned away from you. 
You spun on your heel and made your way back to the party. 
This was fine. Good, even! Spending time one-on-one with Astarion was probably exactly what you needed if you wanted to navigate this silly crush you’d developed. Sure, he’d just called you “my love,” and that was a new one, but it wasn’t that much different from the other pet names he threw at you and your companions. You didn’t need this foolish infatuation distracting you on your journey or, gods forbid, diverting your attention during battle. No, this would be the perfect time to remind yourself and your fluttering heart that Astarion was, first and foremost, your friend, and a person. It didn’t need to be anything more than that. 
Your feet carried you not too far from Astarion’s tent and landed you at Karlach’s tent, the tiefling in question currently lying on her back, looking up at the stars.
“Hey, Hot Stuff,” you said, standing over her. 
“Soldier!” she grinned, her eyes a bit fuzzy from the wine. 
“This seat taken?” You kicked your foot over some dirt to her left. 
“All yours,” she said, sitting up to join you. 
You settled down next to her and watched the party still taking place at the center of camp. It sounded like Gale and Lae’zel were having some sort of heated argument over which main courses were best to prepare for battle, while Halsin awkwardly weaved between them to gather a plate of food for himself.
“Saw you chatting up Fangs just now,” Karlach playfully air-elbowed you, careful not to accidentally touch and scorch you. “Did he have anything good to say?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary,” you shrugged. “He was an ass to me, I was an ass to him, the usual.”
Karlach nodded. “Sounds about right.”
You both sat in pleasant silence for a moment before you laughed a little. “It’s funny, he actually asked me to spend time with him tonight, after the party.”
Karlach furrowed her brow. “After the party? What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” you shook your head, “he said we could ‘make our own entertainment.’” You made air quotes when you repeated his words. “I figure he wants to read together or something. It was just weird how he phrased it.”
She sat up a little straighter, her expression growing more serious. “Hang on, what were his words, exactly?”
You leaned back a little, confused by her sudden interest in your mundane conversation with the vampire. “Um… I don’t know. He said he didn’t like being a hero, I told him not to say that, he said he wanted more than a pat on the head and bad wine, I tried the wine and it was bad, he said he wanted a little fun, ‘is that so much to ask?’ and I said ‘knowing you, it probably is,’ and then he said we could make our own entertainment. Or something like that.”
“Huh.” Karlach thought for a moment. “I think he means to bone you, Soldier.”
You sputtered out a laugh. “What?! No he doesn’t!”
“He sooooo does!” Karlach barked out a laugh. “And good for you! I know I’d ride him to the Feywild and back if I had the chance.”
“He does not,” you said again, trying to convince yourself as much as you were trying to convince Karlach. 
But you faltered. 
“Does he?”
“Soldier,” Karlach lowered her head at you, giving you an incredulous look, “he was absolutely asking you to get nasty with him.” 
“Are you serious?”
“Yes!” she threw her hands up in the air. “We all see the way you look at each other! You practically undress one another with your eyes every time you see each other!”
“No we don’t!” you argued, but shrank back when Karlach raised an eyebrow at you. 
“You do. You know you do.” 
“Am I that obvious?” you asked, lifting your hands to your cheeks as you felt them heating up. 
Karlach started counting on her fingers. “He’s always the first one you check on after a battle, you’re always walking next to him when we’re traveling, AND you let him drink your blood. Weirdly often. Which is gross.”
“I like helping him,” you countered weakly. “And I always check on you guys, too!”
“Of course you do, Soldier, but we can all see how you two treat each other differently.”
You peered over at Astarion’s tent. He lounged comfortably amongst his pillows, a book propped open in his lap and his bottle of wine was not too far off. 
How could he be so casual and relaxed about all of this? The thought of talking to him later tonight made your stomach drop.
“What if I turn him down?” you asked softly, leaning forward to hug your knees.
Karlach’s expression softened. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” She reached out a hand, but retracted it. “If I could, I’d rub your back like my mum used to do when I was a kid.”
You smiled over at her. “Thanks.”
She nodded. “If you don’t want to sleep with the leech, that’s your choice. Don’t let him talk you into it if it’s not what you want.”
“I’m not entirely sure what I want,” you admitted, looking up at the familiar stars above.
Karlach sighed. “Well, you don’t have to decide anything tonight.” She nodded her head towards his tent. “In fact, I could go beat the shit out of him, if you’d like.”
You laughed. “Not necessary. But I appreciate the offer.”
“I’ll do it.”
“I know you will,” you smiled and settled your cheek on top of your knee. “I do really like him,” you confessed.
Karlach thought for a moment. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the problem?” She cocked her head curiously.
You sighed. “Sex isn’t really something… I have a great relationship with.”
“Ah,” Karlach nodded. “Same,” she joked, flaring her flames a little for good measure.
You snickered quietly. “I won’t get into it, but… yeah. No thanks. For now, at least.”
“Say no more,” she held up her hand and turned to observe Astarion at his tent. “You could always just see what he has to say? Maybe he just wants to show you he’s a master at shadow puppets or something.”
“That’s what I said!” you laughed, and Karlach joined in.
When you’d both settled, she spoke again. “But seriously, Soldier. Astarion may be a freaky vampiric bastard, but I don’t think he’d hurt you.”
“I don’t think he would either.”
“He knows we’d kill him.”
“I’m sure you’d all take turns sending him to the hells.”
“You bet your sweet ass we would,” she brought her fist to her hand as if preparing to punch this hypothetical Astarion. 
After another quiet moment, she spoke again. “You don’t have to go with him tonight. Or, I could come with you, if you want. As backup.”
“Thanks,” you said, “but I think I need to have this conversation with him alone.”
“Of course.”
You looked back over at Astarion’s tent. He was now standing and stretching his arms over his head. When he caught you watching him, he smirked and threw a wink in your direction. You quickly snapped your head forward, back towards the center of the party. Groaning, you brought your hands up to cover your face.
“What am I gonna do?”
~~~~~
Staring into the trees ahead of you, you remained frozen in place. 
The party had died down and dispersed about an hour ago, giving you and your companions plenty of time to perform a quick cleanup and head to bed. And just as Astarion had said, once a peaceful quiet had enveloped the camp, he’d come to your tent and wordlessly motioned for you to follow him. 
Now you were wringing your hands, trying to convince yourself to follow after him into the forest.
Karlach was right: you didn’t have to do anything you didn’t want to do. And Astarion was a reasonable guy. 
To a degree.
Okay, no he wasn’t. 
He was always prepared to kill someone who wronged him in an instant. But surely he’d be reasonable in this department. Your gut told you that that was true. And if it wasn’t, you’d sicc Karlach and the others on him. 
You knew it wouldn’t come to that, though. You felt strongly that he was the type who wouldn’t react rashly to a rejection. 
Before you’d even made up your mind to do so, you found yourself walking into the trees, following the general direction you’d seen Astarion head off towards. The least you could do was hear him out. And who knew, maybe this would be a funny anecdote in your friendship later on down the line. Only time would tell.
It took a few minutes of mindless wandering before you reached a clearing. You kept going, prepared to keep walking until you eventually found Astarion, when you spotted him emerging from behind a tree in your peripheral. 
You screeched to a halt and turned to face him, growing stiff with nerves when you realized he was shirtless. 
“There you are,” he said, his hand lingering on the tree behind him. “I’ve been waiting.” 
He approached you slowly. 
Seductively. 
You stood completely still.
He continued, “Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you.”
You swallowed thickly.
He moved even closer. “Waiting to have you.”
“About that,” you said, struggling to keep your voice steady, “what exactly do you mean?”
Astarion’s sensual expression morphed into one of confusion. Then he laughed a little. “Isn’t it obvious? Tonight is about pleasure.”
“I was afraid you’d say that,” you muttered.
While you were pretty sure he heard you, Astarion pressed on anyway. 
“Yours. Mine. Our collective ecstasy.”
“Astarion,” you said quickly, surging forward to grab his hands in yours, “please.”
He looked surprised, but quickly recovered with an alluring smirk. “Please what, darling?”
“We don’t have to.”
Astarion narrowed his eyes skeptically. “Don’t have to what?”
You groaned and leaned your head forward to rest on his bare shoulder. After a second you lifted your face back up to look at him. “We don’t have to sleep together.”
This time, Astarion looked stunned. “Then… what are you doing here?” 
You shrugged. “I thought we could talk.”
Astarion pulled away from you and took a step back. “‘Talk?’ I thought we had an understanding?”
“See, that’s the thing,” you said, “I did not understand.”
“Hmm,” he hummed and tilted his head in disbelief.
“I’m serious,” you said, stepping closer to him again. “I thought you wanted to spend time together.”
“Oh, but I do,” his lips quirked up mischievously. “I mean to spend the entire night with you, my dear.”
“And while that sounds great, I think you and I are having different thoughts about how to spend that time.” You held his gaze, willing him to hear you.
He humphed. “So you don’t want to have sex with me?”
“Not right now, no.”
He sputtered his lips together and threw his arms up. “And what does that mean?”
“It means… It means I don’t want to have sex right now. At all.” You watched his face scrunch in incredulity. “It has nothing to do with you!” you clarified, grabbing one of his hands again. “Believe me, this is all me.”
Astarion looked you up and down, scanning your body language. You still held his hand and leaned into him ever so slightly. 
“What’s this then?” he asked, placing his free hand over the hand holding his.
You pulled away from him completely. “Sorry,” you said, “I end up touching the people I like. I don’t realize I’m doing it.”
He narrowed his eyes, putting the pieces together in his head. 
“You like me.”
“Yes.”
“And you don’t want to sleep with me.”
“Yes.”
“So… what? You want to be friends or something?” He made a sour expression.
You laughed softly. “I’d like to think we’re already friends, actually.”
“And why would you think that?” Astarion asked, but you saw in his eyes that he was teasing.
You smiled lightly. “Maybe because you won’t stop following me around Faerûn?”
“Well, it’s not like I-”
“Or maybe because you’ve had a taste of my blood and now you can’t get enough?”
“Okay, that’s-”
“Or maybe because Karlach said you treat me differently than you treat everyone else.”
“She did not!” Astarion sounded genuinely scandalized and you laughed.
“Face it, pretty boy, you like me, too.”
Astarion groaned and rolled his eyes. “This is not at all going how I planned.”
You pursed your lips and wrapped your arms around yourself again. “Sorry.”
He glanced back at you and saw you staring at the ground. He sighed. 
“No, I’m sorry, darling.”
You met his eyes. He stepped closer and placed his hands on your cheeks. Instinctively, you leaned into his touch. 
“I assumed you wanted the same thing as me, and I was wrong.”
“It’s okay,” you assured. “You couldn’t have known.”
“Still,” he said, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheek, “I misread your touches as advances rather than…” He searched for the proper words. “One of your quirks.”
You exhaled, amused. “You didn’t entirely misread me.”
“Pardon?”
“I do like you. A lot. And if things were different, maybe I would sleep with you, but…”
Astarion pulled away from you and held up a hand. “No explanation needed, darling.” He smirked. “But it's good to know how you feel.”
You felt your cheeks go red. “Yeah,” you said, suddenly shy.
Astarion clicked his tongue. “You’re so adorable when you’re thinking of what to say.”
You shook your head and patted your cheeks. “I have another idea,” you said.
He nodded for you to continue and crossed his arms.
“Um… if it’s alright with you, I…” You paused, not exactly sure how he’d react. 
“What is it, darling?”
“I’d like to… bathe you.”
Astarion uncrossed his arms and looked rather dumbfounded.
“What?”
Your words came out clumsily and a little too fast: “Or not! I don’t know, I just like you so much, and I’d like to be closer to you but I don’t want to have sex with you so I thought maybe we could get closer another way, or maybe-”
“Okay,” Astarion interrupted.
“Huh?”
He moved closer to you and brushed some hair out of your face.
“Okay,” he repeated softly. “Let’s bathe together.”
“Oh,” you said, disbelief painting your features. 
Astarion laughed. “Did you assume I’d say no?”
You shrugged as a smile grew on your face. “I don’t know what I expected,” you reached for his hand, “but I’m really glad you said yes.”
~~~~~
The walk back to camp was pleasantly silent, save for the crickets singing their nightly aria. Astarion kept pace with you, the back of your hands brushing every so often, each time sending a tiny shock wave through your body. 
This was happening. You were going to have a private, intimate moment with Astarion. Even if it hadn’t been what he originally intended, you were happy to think of a compromise that still allowed you to get close to him in a way that you knew the others in camp hadn’t, and probably wouldn’t. It made you feel special.
Happy.
And nervous. 
Nervous as all hells, to be honest. You felt your heart speeding up with every step you took, bringing you closer to camp.
“Something wrong, darling?” Astarion asked, giving you a sideways glance.
You jumped a little when his voice broke the silence. “Huh?”
“Your heart, love. It’s pounding.” He waggled his eyebrows teasingly. “Nervous?”
“Oh, that.” You held a hand to your chest and focused on slowing your breathing. When you turned to look at him, you asked, “Is that weird?”
“Seeing as how this was your suggestion, maybe a little.” He smiled and nudged his shoulder into yours.
You groaned. “If this is too weird, let’s just not.”
Astarion halted and grabbed your wrist to stop you. He spun you to look into his eyes. “Whatever’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, darling, cut it out.”
“Oh, okay great. Done.”
“Really?”
“No, not really!” You narrowed your eyes at him.
He sighed. “Never is that easy, is it?”
It was a rhetorical question, but you shook your head anyway. 
“Well, whatever’s making you nervous, I’ll strive to steer clear of it.”
He looked at you expectantly, as if he wanted some sort of explanation. You avoided his eyes and moved to continue walking towards camp. He followed close behind.
“It’s just that…” you paused, trying to collect your thoughts. “I haven’t been… naked in front of someone. For a while.”
Astarion bit his lip, mirth in his eyes.
“Don’t laugh!” you exclaimed, mortified.
“No, no, darling!” His tone was gleeful. “Apologies. It’s just that that’s what’s making you nervous? I’ll have you know that you’re one of the more beautiful creatures who I’ve attempted to bed. You have nothing to fear. I’ve seen all manner of bodies and I can assure you, yours will be nothing short of exquisite. In fact, your shyness is rather endearing.” He smiled at you, looking like he might still be withholding a laugh.
You flattened your lips into a line. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.” You began walking ahead of him but stopped when you heard him call your name.
“I may be a rake and a thief, but I’m no liar.”
You blinked at him. “Yes you are! You lie all the time!”
“Okay, yes, sure, but I don’t lie about things that matter! Things like this!” He motioned up and down, indicating your body.
Just as he did so, the two of you emerged from the trees and into camp. You held a finger to your lips and indicated for him to be quiet. He nodded and padded after you as you crept quietly towards the shore of the lake that lapped quietly next to your sleeping campsite. You bent to pick up towels, along with the bucket that held soap and other washing supplies that you and your companions shared in an effort to stay clean on the road. You held them up and motioned for Astarion to follow you again, away from where Withers stoically kept watch, and more towards where you’d spoken with Wyll earlier in the evening. When you turned to face Astarion, his eyes were full of questions.
“Are you sure you still want to do this?” you asked.
He perked up and grinned. “My love, there is nothing I’d like more.”
You searched his eyes one more time to make sure he was serious. When you were satisfied with what you saw, you motioned for him to step into the lake. 
“Ladies first,” you teased, looking anywhere but at Astarion.
He, in turn, looked down his nose at you. “I know what this is,” he said, pointing a lazy finger at you.
“What’s what?”
“You’re stalling, darling.”
“I am not!”
Astarion crossed his arms and tilted his head towards you, unimpressed.
Your posture fell into a slouch. “Okay fine, maybe I am stalling.”
“Really?” Astarion said dramatically before dropping his arms to his sides again. He approached you, close enough to where you could feel his cool breath on your face. 
He placed both of his hands on your hips. You looked down to watch as his fingers drummed a calming rhythm into your sides. He whistled quietly, gaining your attention. 
“Let’s start here,” he suggested, now fingering the hem of your shirt. He refused to let you look away. 
You nodded.
“Good,” he purred as you raised your arms and helped him take off your shirt. 
The cool air of the evening immediately sent goosebumps down your arms, and you unconsciously crossed them over your chest for warmth.
Astarion tsked. “Come now,” he protested and placed two gentle hands on your wrists, guiding them to your sides. “Lovely,” he praised once he was able to look at you. 
You made an uncomfortable sound before placing your hands on your waistband. 
“These probably need to come off next, right?”
“Typically that’s how one bathes themself, yes.”
“Right,” you agreed, watching as Astarion mirrored you and reached for his own waistband. You looked down at your legs as you removed your pants, leaving you in only your underwear. 
“Goodness, love,” Astarion said quietly and you looked at him shyly. He himself was now only in his underwear. “You have nothing to be shy about. You’re magnificent.”
“Would you shush and get into the water please?” you half teased, half begged. Anything  to end this weird tension you were feeling. 
“Alright,” he laughed softly before reaching for the waistband of his underwear. He looked at you for approval. When you nodded, he removed them in one fluid motion as if he’d done this a million times. Maybe he had.
Regardless, you couldn’t help but stare at the space between his legs.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Eyes up here.”
“Sorry,” you said, immediately flicking your eyes up to his face. “I didn’t- It’s just-”
Astarion chuckled. “I understand.”
“Thank you,” you said, breathing a sigh of relief. 
“Your turn,” he said, lifting his eyebrows.
You bit your lip and slowly reached for your underwear. When you pulled them off, Astarion watched you without a hint of judgment in his eyes. You ran a hand through your hair and shifted nervously on your feet. 
He held out a hand to you and you stared at it before looking up at his face. He rolled his eyes.
“I’m not going in this frigid water alone, are you mad?”
You laughed and took his hand. He instantly pulled your body to his, holding you so that you were chest to chest. He gave you a seductive smirk before leaning in. You leaned away, avoiding his advances. You shook your head ever so slightly before stepping into the gentle water. Astarion remained standing on the shore before following after you. 
Braving the cold of the water, you sunk down until you were sitting in neck deep water. You let the bucket you’d brought with you float next to you as Astarion crept through the water, clearly freezing. 
“Why did I let you convince me to bathe at night? There’s no sun out to warm this wretched lake.”
You ducked your mouth below the surface to blow some bubbles in his direction. “You should know by now that dunking your whole body helps you warm up faster.”
He gave you a dirty look before slowly sinking down in front of you, yelping and contorting his face the entire time. You couldn’t help but squawk out a laugh. 
When he was fully seated, he pulled you towards him, making you sit in his lap. He gave you a sensual look that had you frowning and pulling back. He raised a quizzical eyebrow.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
“When I said I wanted to bathe you, that’s all I meant.”
“Ah.” His tone was confused. Then he shook his head. “Right, sorry. This is - well… you know.” He smiled, looking like he was admitting defeat and that he wasn’t pleased about it. “I have no idea what to do with you.”
You swam behind him, pulling the bucket of soap towards you and laying your hands on both of his shoulders. “You don’t have to do anything.”
He spun to face you. “Nothing?”
You nodded and he huffed out a laugh. “No sex, no fooling around…I’m sorry, darling. It’s just - having to slow down, it’s… I’m just not used to it.” 
“That’s okay,” you rested your hands on his shoulders again. “We’re in no rush.”
He hummed. “Can you… I don’t know. Help? Show me what to do?”
Laughing, you took his hand. “I’ll try.”
You led your weightless bodies into shallower water and had Astarion sit facing away from you, towards the shore. Reaching for the bucket again, you pulled out a bar of soap and a sponge. 
“Relax,” you cooed, seeing how tensely he held his shoulders close to his ears. 
He let loose a breath and you watched as he relaxed his muscles. Your eyes traveled lower, suddenly catching a glimpse of a complicated and gruesome scar on his back. Your eyes widened, taking in how the water and moonlight reflected off of it. Calmly, you dipped the sponge in the water and added soap before gently rubbing his right shoulder. Astarion melted further, allowing his neck to tilt forward, which, in turn, gave you a better view of his scarred flesh.
“Um… Is it okay for me to wash your back?” you hesitated in bringing the sponge across his shoulder and over his back to his other shoulder.
“Why wouldn’t - oh. I suppose you’re talking about the poem.” He barely looked over his shoulder at you.
“I’ve never seen a poem like this,” you said quietly, a hint of anger in your voice.
He chuckled darkly in response. “It’s a gift from my old master, Cazador. He considered himself quite the artist and used his slaves as a canvas. Do you like it, darling?” He shimmied his shoulders, mockingly preening over the evidence of his own torment.
“Not at all,” you said evenly, continuing to wash his shoulders. 
“Ouch, love, you’d hurt his feelings if he heard that.” Not a hint of joy reached his eyes.
“I don’t much care about the feelings of this old master of yours.”
“Oh, be still, my undead heart,” he held a hand to his chest sarcastically. Then he sighed. “You’re allowed to wash it. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” His voice was quiet when he said, “Thank you for asking.”
Wordlessly, you moved the sponge from the back of his neck to his shoulder blades. 
“I’m not going to break,” he laughed softly, “you don’t have to be so gentle.”
You increased the pressure you were applying to his skin before adding more soap to the sponge. “Move up a little,” you instructed, tapping him to move closer to the shore. “Lean forward.”
Now you had a better angle to wash away the grime of the road from his back, and an even better view of the scar. You clicked your tongue and set to work. 
Perhaps uncomfortable by your silence, Astarion began to speak again. “He, Cazador, composed and carved that poem over the course of a night.” There was a venom to his words. Maybe a deep regret, or a weighing sadness. “He made a lot of revisions as he went.”
Your hand paused over a particularly brutal ridge. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his torso, resting your cheek against the raised tissue. “You’re brave for enduring that.”
“What are you doing?” Astarion straightened, making you push your cheek further into his skin. 
You pulled back immediately. “Sorry, I wanted to hug you. I should have asked. I just… wanted you to know that I care.”
Astarion looked over his shoulder at you blankly. “You ‘care?’”
You nodded. “Turn back around, let me keep washing you.”
He gave you a slight nod before facing forward again and leaning over. 
After another silent moment of gliding the sponge across his back, you asked, “Any idea what it means? Or is it just some pattern?”
Astarion let out an unamused laugh. “Hells if I know. Not sure how much you know about vampires, darling, but typically, we can’t see our reflections.” He spoke as if talking to a child. 
You splashed his back with a small wave from your hand. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“You’re lashing out at me when I was just asking a question.”
“I-” He paused. Then he fell silent.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped but… I’m not your enemy,” you said gently. “We don’t have to keep talking about this. We don’t have to talk at all.”
Astarion groaned. “Silence is dreadful, darling.”
“Is that why you never stop talking?” you teased, trying to lighten the mood again.
“Good one,” he said flatly, but you could hear the smile in his voice. “I only talk because you lot never have anything interesting to say.”
You scoffed with a smile. “I have plenty of interesting things to say!”
“Oh, really? Like what?”
“Like-” you thought for a moment. “Like the other day! When I was talking with you about your embroidery!” By now you’d moved on to washing over Astarion’s arms. You spun him to face you so you could wash and massage his hands. 
Astarion clicked his tongue. “Unfortunately, darling, that’s not an entirely interesting topic, seeing as how I was in the middle of mending a shirt and you just wanted an excuse to talk to me.”
“I did not!” you denied, massaging between his fingers. Unconsciously, his fingers curled around yours before retracting and flexing. 
“Deny all you want, you still didn’t say anything interesting.”
“Hmm,” you narrowed your eyes at him. “If I’m so uninteresting, why did you want to spend the evening with me of all people?” You were massaging his other hand. 
“You-” He paused again.
“I?”
“You’re… I’m still trying to figure you out.” His voice grew softer when you pulled yourself closer to wash across his chest. You sensed the shift and looked up at his face to make sure he was okay with your actions. When he nodded minutely, you continued. 
“If you’re trying to figure me out… one might say that you’re interested in me.”
He groaned. “Say whatever you want to help you sleep better tonight, darling.”
“Uh huh,” you said pleasantly to yourself, feeling like you’d won. You looked away to add more soap to the sponge and when you looked back, you realized how close you were to his face. His pupils were blown wider than usual and you could see yourself reflected in his eyes against the moonlight. His breath tickled your face. 
He watched you with an intensity that had you hesitating. Why was he so-?
“Look up,” you said, looking up yourself to demonstrate what you wanted. “Please.”
He held your gaze for as long as he could before looking up at the sky. 
You carefully brushed the sponge along his throat, pausing briefly when you got to the twin wounds on his throat from the night he was turned. You circled them gently with the sponge before rinsing the suds with water cupped in your hand. A shiver ran through Astarion’s body.
“Are you okay?” you asked.
“Yes,” he said looking back down at you once you’d finished rinsing the suds away. “But I’d very much like to kiss you.”
You blinked a few times before resting your forehead against his. When you pulled back, you asked, “Is it okay for me to wash your hair?”
Astarion looked at you for a moment, his eyes flicking to your lips for a second before meeting your eyes again. “I suppose so,” he said.
“I don’t have to. Your legs are still-”
“I can handle my own lower half, thank you.” He winked at you.
You smiled and handed him the sponge before bringing yourself to rest behind him again. You gathered the bucket that was still floating nearby and submerged it until it was filled about halfway with water.
“You can either dunk yourself, or I can pour this over your head,” you held the bucket for Astarion to see.
“I’m actually quite enjoying you taking care of me, darling. I trust you won’t drown me.”
“A mistake,” you said, pretending to dump the bucket over his head all at once. “Can vampires even drown? It’s not like you need to breathe.”
“I’d rather not find out, if it’s all the same to you,” he smirked. 
Instead of dumping the entire bucket on his head like you threatened, you poured a gentle stream along the back of his skull before moving forward to evenly wet the rest of his hair. 
“Bloody hells, that is cold,” he pushed some flattened curls out of his face.
“For being a fearsome vampire, you sure are a wimp,” you teased. 
“I could rip your throat out.”
“And I might be able to drown you.” You placed firm hands on both his shoulders and pushed gently, as if you wanted to test your theory. 
“Terrifying,” he smirked, running the sponge along his legs underwater.
“You should see what I did to those goblins who were holding Halsin hostage.”
Astarion laughed. “I know, darling, I was there. Who knew you could be so hellbent on vengeance?”
You laughed softly, coating your hands in soap before running them through his curls. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
“Like?” he prompted.
“Astarion!” you exclaimed sarcastically. “You want to know more about me?”
“Well if I knew you’d make a fuss, I wouldn’t have said anything.” Despite his tone, his eyes were closed in pleasure as you continued to massage his scalp. 
You chuckled quietly, trying to think of something to share with him. 
“I’ve lived in Baldur’s Gate my whole life,” you started.
“A shame we never crossed paths.”
“I’m not entirely sure you’d spare me a passing glance.”
Astarion opened his eyes. “Don’t say that.”
You shrugged. “I read a lot, growing up, and liked being indoors. But I also liked the outdoors. I helped my dad tend our garden, and helped my mom cook dinner–”
“How quaint.”
“We’d visit my aunt in the Upper City every Midwinter, and I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.” 
“Pity, you have such a promising career as a spa keeper.”
You examined Astarion’s head to make sure you hadn’t missed a spot. When you were pleased with your own work, you continued: “This is the first big adventure I’ve ever been on.”
“First brain worm?” Astarion opened one eye and pointed to his temple.
You laughed and nodded. 
He smiled. “Mine, too.”
You filled the bucket with more water and held a hand over his forehead to keep soapy water from splashing into his eyes when you poured the fresh water over his foamy locks. 
Astarion sighed as the soap began to wash away. You filled the bucket again to repeat the process. 
“Did you ever foresee yourself bathing a beautiful vampire, when you were a child?”
You pursed your lips. “I mean, I had my hopes.” You smiled as he let out a laugh. 
“Tonight definitely didn’t go how I expected,” he admitted.
“You didn’t foresee yourself getting bathed by your incredibly interesting leader?”
He let out an amused breath from his nose. “No I did not.”
You finished rinsing out the last of the soap from his hair, but continued raking your fingers through it. “Are you disappointed?” Your voice was small.
He turned to face you, making your hands disconnect from his curls. “Not at all,” he said, sounding genuine. “Pleasantly surprised, actually.” He thought for a moment. “And cleaner than I’ve been in weeks. Probably.”
You laughed. “Happy to have provided my services.”
He smiled at you, his eyes softer than you’d ever seen them. “This was nice.” He lifted his hand to swipe through his hair. “Let’s hope you didn’t ruin my hair.”
“With soap and water?”
“You might have done it wrong,” he teased.
“How? It’s soap and water!”
“Not so loud,” he chuckled, nodding his head towards camp. You could vaguely hear Gale snoring in the distance. 
“I’m leaving,” you joked, moving to get up, but Astarion grabbed your wrist and pulled you back into the water.
“Am I not to return the favor?”
You looked back at him and half smiled, patting his cheek. “I’m not convinced you’d do a thorough enough job.” With that, you pushed away from him and got up, gathering the bathing materials and walking back to shore where towels awaited. 
Astarion sputtered behind you. “How dare you! I could give you a massage, the likes of which you’ve never experienced before!”
“You know, sometimes, Astarion, people do things for other people, and don’t want anything in return.” You threw the towel over your head to start drying your hair before wrapping it around your body. 
Astarion did the same before bending to pick up your discarded clothes. “I- Well… You-” He sighed heavily. “You’re a tricky one, aren’t you?”
“I’m not trying to be,” you shrugged.
“And yet,” he sidled up next to you, offering you his arm, “you are.” 
You took his arm in one hand and the bucket of washing supplies in the other and followed him as he led you back into camp. You placed the materials back where you found them and brought your newly freed hand up to wrap around Astarion’s arm. You leaned your head onto his shoulder. 
When you arrived at your tent, he handed you your clothes. 
“I suppose this is where we end our evening,” he said quietly so as not to wake the others.
“I suppose so,” you agreed, your eyes shining as you looked at him.
“What?” he asked.
“Thank you for letting me do that,” you said, still holding his arm. “I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.”
“I did,” he said. “Very much, actually.” When he saw the excited look on your face, he amended, “Don’t be weird.”
“I’m not weird,” you said, weirdly.
“Uh huh,” Astarion said, pulling his arm out of your grip, not unkindly.
“We can do it again,” you bobbed on your feet, “if you want.”
“I… could be persuaded,” he nodded.
“Good,” you said. Then you surged forward to kiss his cheek. “Thank you. Goodnight Astarion.” You turned and ducked down into your tent.
“Pleasant dreams, darling,” he said softly. 
You didn’t see how his hand lingered on his cheek where your lips had made contact, didn’t see the small smile that crept onto his face or the mask beginning to slip. 
Instead, you had pleasant dreams filled with laughs and curls and a flash of fangs accompanied by a smile of delight. 
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deadtired-highkeyenergetic · 5 months ago
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Heya! I love your "half a bed" fic!!
You said to drop any "only one bed"-trope ideas in your inbox so I'm hoping I did this correctly? But I'm thinking for Asterion x Tav that since Cazador controlled Star so much, he doesn't really own anything for himself? And maybe Tav notices and because the others are already asleep, she offers for him to share her bedroll? He's snarky and rude and she's unimpressed but it's the start of a mutual very strong infatuation and eventually relationship?
Heyo sorry it took so long!! Had some trouble overcoming the writer's block for this but hey I did it in the end! Hope you like it!
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"I don't recall giving you my bedroll." You raise an eyebrow at the pale elf who has taken to using your bedroll every night ever since you first offered to share it with him.
He yawns, flashing his fangs at you before grinning, "we're sharing it, are we not? That means I have every right to lie on it."
"It doesn't mean you can take up the whole thing! Where am I going to sleep?" You attempt to shove him to one side but he refuses to budge an inch. "Move!"
"Nope." He pops the 'p' on purpose, knowing it will irritate you. You scowl and shove harder, half ruing the night you offered to share your bedroll. He laughs at your futile attempts, a genuine smile playing on his lips until you give up and flop onto him, causing him to yelp in surprise. You glower when he complains about you being too heavy, giving his side an annoyed poke but you can't really bring yourself to be mad at him even if he just stole your sleeping spot.
Then again, you always had a soft spot for the vampire spawn.
The first time he shared your bedroll was early on in your adventures. Everyone else had gone to sleep but he had remained outside, seated by the dwindling fire with the excuse that he wasn't tired yet. You'd woken up in the middle of the night to relieve yourself, noticing that even though the fire was long gone, he remained outside his tent.
"Still not tired?" You ask, slightly concerned.
"No." He answers curtly, leaving no room for further questions. You sit next to him, much to his chagrin and he shifts away ever so slightly. You notice it, of course, but choose not to comment on it.
"You should still try and trance, you'll need your strength for tomorrow," you hum, looking up at the night sky. The stars are bright tonight, shining in stark contrast to the dark sky.
"Shouldn't you take your own advice?" He snorts.
"Well, I'm not the one who has been out here the whole time," you retort, suppressing a yawn. He notices, however, the twitch of the corners of your lips and rolls his eyes.
"Go and sleep, idiot. Can't have our dear leader collapsing midway because they didn't get enough rest can we now?"
"Is that concern I hear?" You smirk.
"No." He scowls, sending a glare your way. You give him a look of disbelief, which then morphs into amusement and you grin.
"You're terrible at hiding it you know?" You huff, giving an amused shake of your head.
"Hiding what?"
"Your concern for my well-being."
"What concern?"
"That concern." You fold your arms across your chest, undeterred.
"Tch, stop bothering me and go back to sleep." He snaps, looking away. You, however, remain undaunted by his attitude.
"Is there a reason you can't trance?"
"Stop it and go back to sleep."
"There has to be a reason. Nightmares perhaps?"
"Shut up and stop asking so many questions."
"I'm trying to help you here."
"Then stop trying to help me. I don't need it."
"You don't want it, you mean."
"Yes, finally, you get it. Now leave."
"No." Your response surprises him.
"No?" He asks incredulously. "What do you mean no?"
"I'm not going to leave you to deal with your problems alone. We may not be friends yet, but we are companions. If you're stuck dealing with your own problems, you're not going to be able to fully contribute to the party and that's an issue. So we're going to solve it together, with me helping in whatever way I can and you doing the rest." You put your hands on your hips, daring him to talk back.
"And what if you can't do anything to help solve 'my problems'?" He sneers.
"Then I'll accept it and rely on you less so you can sort your own issues out first." His eyes widen slightly and you can see the panic that flashes across his face. Your heart aches upon seeing his reaction but you steel yourself, reminding yourself that it is for the greater good of the party.
"I —" He pauses, looking down. He sighs, looking back up at you reluctantly, all the fight having left his body. "I don't exactly have a bed roll to sleep in, you see. Cazador never allowed any of his spawn to have any personal belongings, everything belonged to him and he 'loaned it to us out of the kindness of his heart'. Trancing on hard ground is…difficult."
"We can share my bed roll if you're comfortable. Each of us can take a half, it should be big enough for us both."
He blinks, surprised. "Are you…sure? We…" He swallows hard.
"We've slept together before, don't tell me you're squeamish about sharing a bed roll." You raise an eyebrow.
"I'm not. It's just that…"
"Don't worry. I'm not some horny bastard who can't go a night without lying with someone. We can have our own side of the bed roll, no physical contact required." He still looks uncertain, and you sigh. You can't exactly fault him, he's dropped enough hints about certain aspects of his past and you're not going to tear open any of those wounds.
He laughs, the sound ringing hollow. "Are you sure about that, darling? It would suit my taste better if you were~"
It's your turn to roll your eyes. "Yeah, right. Anyways, are you going to take me up on my offer or not?"
"I'll take you up on it if you don't mind, darling." His usual smirk replaces the quiet sad look on his face.
"Well, come on then. We don't have much time left."
You can't help but smile upon remembering that night. He'd come so far since that night, the two of you had grown more comfortable with each other, and even after you had bought a bed roll for him, he still preferred sneaking into your tent to steal half your bed roll.
"What are you smiling about?" He pokes your cheek with a huff.
"Nothing." You grin. He rolls his eyes in response, running a hand through your hair. You bury your face in his chest, letting the gentle feeling wash over you. He presses a kiss to the top of your head, loving the way you sprawl on top of him without a care in the world. He's a vampire, for goodness sake, and yet you bare your neck to his fangs like that, not the least bit worried he take advantage of the situation and drain you.
"Hmph." He wraps his arms around you, nuzzling into your hair. As much as he complains about it, your weight is comforting. It reminds him that he isn't alone anymore, that he has you to turn to when he needs someone to lean on, and that you have him to lean on in return.
"Good night, Star." You yawn cutely, stretching your limbs.
"Good night, love." He murmurs back, pressing one last kiss to your head before he drifts off into a trance. You watch him for a while, smiling softly at the way he slowly relaxes as the trance takes hold, worries forgotten for the night.
Wrapped in the cocoon of your vampire lover, you too drift off and let sleep claim you, knowing that when you wake, he will be the first thing you see just as he's always the last thing you see before you sleep.
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kittenintheden · 11 months ago
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Where were you, when I was new?
AO3 Version Here bonus gift art by tavplum!!
Even the masters have to start somewhere.
Rating: E Word Count: 5.6k Content: 18+, Virgin Astarion, Pre-Canon Astarion, Law Student Astarion, Young Astarion, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Intercourse, Gender-Neutral Partner (3rd Person), Unnamed Partner (3rd Person)
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Astarion Ancunín is twenty years old, a law student, and a virgin. At least, he is for the time being.
It’s not as if he doesn’t know he’s an exceptionally good-looking young man, not as if no one’s ever asked before. Not as if he’s completely inexperienced. He adores kissing. Flushes with pleasure when someone plays with his long, elegant ears. Participates in a little hand stuff here and there. He even received head and gave it back, once, at some party.
Really, it’s simply that he’s had other things to do – other lessons to learn, other books to study, other concerns about his future position – and no one ever seemed worth sharing himself with fully. At least, not the first time. What can he say? He has standards.
It’s neither here nor there, to be honest, because he’s deep in his notes from a recent lecture when a friend puts a hand on his shoulder and draws his attention away. He grumbles, annoyed at being yanked out of his zone.
“What, arthehole?” he says from between his teeth because he doesn’t want to drop the pair of gold-rimmed glasses that dangle from his mouth by one temple. He never did quite outgrow his oral fixation.
His friend tilts their chin toward the large double doors that offer entry to their university’s library, which is where they’re currently holed up. “Look sharp,” the friend says. “The mock trial team from Neverwinter just walked in.”
Astarion sits up and shifts his gaze to the group of unfamiliar students following behind an enthusiastic prefect who seems to be giving them the full tour of the Grand College of Baldur's Gate. They certainly look like standard Neverwinter fare – wizard-chic robes, scrutinizing stares, Northern city attitude. He leans his cheek on his hand, lazily sizing up the competition.
There’s one that stands out and he quirks his mouth up as he observes. This student is smiling brightly, slowly spinning in place to take in the shelves around them with wonder. Their clothing is simpler than the others, more street-friendly than cosmopolitan.
“Huh,” he says to himself.
“I think we can take them no problem,” his friend says. “But what do you say about running a bit of an insurance policy? Some friendly distraction, if you will.”
Astarion glances their way. “I’m listening.”
The friend points to someone toward the front of the line. “I’ll take that one. You know I’m a sucker for tieflings with blue… everything.”
He laughs. “Have at. I think…” He folds his glasses and slips them into his pocket, training his eyes on the student who stuck out to him before. “... I’ll deal with that one.”
“Good man,” says the friend, holding up a hand for him to clasp.
***
Some time later, Astarion leans casually against a support beam in the university’s canteen with his supper in hand, waiting. It isn’t long until the Neverwinter students begin to filter in and he quickly spies his target.
They’re taking in the room and the people around them, eyes soft and gentle as a cow’s. Elven, like him, he thinks. They look over their shoulder and happen to catch his eye for a scant moment. He tilts his head and they give a polite smile before stepping forward in the queue.
Astarion examines his nails closely during the several minutes it takes the group to retrieve their food and find seats. As the elf walks along the line of chairs, he makes his move.
Before they even notice his approach, he steps just in front of them and then startles as they knock into him.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” they say, mercifully righting their tray before anything spills. “I didn’t see you.”
“No, no,” Astarion says, smiling bashfully. “My fault entirely. I didn’t look to see where I was going. I’m terrible that way. Please, join me?”
He pulls out the nearest chair and gestures for them to sit. They blink at him, wide-eyed, then lean around to look for their friends, then back at him in slight confusion.
“Ah, sorry, that’s presumptuous, I shouldn’t-”
“No, it’s fine,” they say, their face brightening with another grin. “We’re supposed to be here to meet other students, anyway, so. Yeah. Yes, I’d be happy to join you.”
“Wonderful,” Astarion says, pushing the chair in under them as they take his offered seat. Behind their back, he casts a look over at his friend across the way. They waggle their eyebrows at him and go back to chatting up their blue tiefling. Astarion smirks.
He schools his features back to neutral as he takes his own seat, giving the Neverwinter student a tight smile, playing the part of the nervy introvert superbly. Right on cue, his glasses slip down his nose a bit and he adjusts them back into place.
“Do you actually need those?” his guest says, their cheek already full of food.
Astarion’s smile drops for a second before he snatches it back and gives a laugh. “What?”
They chew and swallow their bite before pointing at his face. “The spectacles. I was just wondering if they were for show or…” They pause and their eyes go even wider than usual. “I apologize, that’s really rude of me, forget I said anything.”
His surprised laugh is genuine this time. “You know what? I don’t actually need them.” To illustrate his point, he removes them, folds them, and puts them in his jacket pocket. He leans in like he’s about to tell them a secret and quietly says, “Honestly, I just think they make me look smart.”
Immediately, they burst out laughing and he joins them. The conversation flows smoothly, after that.
“What are you doing all the way down at the Gate?” Astarion asks, placing a forkful of his own food in his mouth to chew as they answer. He now knows their name, their year, that they adore snow foxes, and that they are indeed visiting from Neverwinter.
They pick off a piece of their roll, then another. “I’m here with the mock trial group. You know that one? We playact cases like you’d find in the courts. We’re here for a competition with the Gate’s team.”
“Really?” Astarion says, the picture of innocence as he leans in closer, fascinated. “Like theater? I didn’t even know we had one of those.”
“Oh, yes, it’s a lot of fun.” They’re animatedly waving their forgotten roll around as they speak. It’s cute. “We each take the side of either the prosecution or the defense and we sort of, you know, duke it out.”
Astarion giggles. “Maybe I should come watch this thing. Which side are you on?”
“Defense,” they say with a wink. “And we’ve got a killer case.”
“Is that so?” Astarion’s grin spreads wide over his face. “I’d love to hear more.”
***
It had been quite the productive evening. His companion spilled the details of nearly everything that mattered, from their witness list to the evidence they hoped to sneak in last-minute with a legal loophole. Astarion flirted up a storm, keeping them talking. And talk they did, punctuated with laughter and light touches and a general aura of friendship .
Astarion grimaces as he organizes his notes for the trial. It should begin in an hour and he’s been hiding out in the nearby lecture hall that serves as the makeshift judge’s chambers. If he’s really, truly honest with himself… he feels awful. His opponent had been sweet, friendly, and genuinely enjoyable to be around, if a little… south of brilliant. It hadn’t taken long for him to realize he actually kind of liked them. Would maybe consider flirting with them for real, even.
If only they hadn’t been so naively trusting . That was their own fault, wasn’t it?
He swallows the sour taste in his mouth.
Around then, his friend swaggers into the room with a blooming bruise on their neck and a sleepy smile. They flop down in the seat beside him.
“Good night?” Astarion asks, cocking an eyebrow at them.
“Blue everywhere,” they say as if they’re doped up. “Everywhere, Ancunín.”
Astarion chuckles and shakes his head. “But did you learn anything useful?”
His friend doesn’t answer and Astarion clears his throat to prompt them. They focus back in on him and say, “Erm, we were supposed to be learning something? I proposed running distraction.”
“Oh for the gods’ sake.” Astarion rolls his eyes. “No matter. I got all the details from my date, anyway.” He taps his notes against the desk to straighten them and slips them into his satchel.
“You mean their team captain?” his friend says.
Astarion freezes with his hand on the latch of his satchel. Turns his head slowly to gawk at his teammate. “Their. What?”
The friend shrugs. “Guess I did learn one thing, after all. My companion said you were sitting with their team captain. Thought it was a pretty bold choice.” They wink at him. “Good for you.”
“Shit,” Astarion whispers.
His friend frowns, but before they can ask, he’s up and pulling open the door that leads to their mock chambers. The Neverwinter team is already well underway on their setup. He storms down the center aisle and sure enough, there’s his dining companion, looking polished to a fine shine with their hair properly styled and robes of deep blue setting off their elven complexion.
They turn just in time to catch him glaring at them with his jaw clenched.
“Glad you could make it,” they say with a much slyer smile than they wore last night.
Astarion has never been so simultaneously angry and infuriatingly attracted to someone in his life.
***
The first trial of their three-day competition is, naturally, a complete bust for Team Baldur’s Gate. Astarion is completely off his game and operating off of a strategy that proves totally useless. The Neverwinter team absolutely trounces them.
He got played. He got played and he’s furious about it.
Worse, he’s impressed by it. Gross.
Afterward, they come up to him to offer a genuine, friendly handshake. Astarion reluctantly accepts it.
“I’d apologize,” they say. “But honestly, I let you take the lead completely. You didn’t have to listen to a single word out of my mouth.”
Astarion sniffs. “Yes, well. Congratulations. You won.” He leans into their space ever so slightly. “This time.”
They laugh and it sounds almost the same as it did the night before. “Come on, let me buy you a drink.”
“You don’t have to rub it- wait, what?” Astarion says.
They shrug. “Secret’s out now, I guess, so I don’t see any reason for us to pretend that we didn’t enjoy one another’s company.” When Astarion doesn’t immediately respond, they put a hand on their hip and smirk at him. “At least, I enjoyed yours.”
“Well, I…” Astarion huffs and looks askance, then back at them. “I don’t even know which parts of you are real , so. I can’t say.”
The elf reaches out a finger and taps him right on the center of his chest. “You’re the one who saw someone from one of the top universities in the realm and assumed I must be some foolish bumpkin who’ll spill their guts to the first pretty face that comes along because I smile too much. I’m the one who should be concerned, I think.”
“Ugh, okay, fair,” he says, tossing his head. Then he smirks back. “You think I’m pretty?”
“Come on,” they say with a laugh and a tilt of their head toward the exit. “Let’s get that drink.”
***
Hours later, Astarion stands in front of the tiny vanity in his dorm, turning his face to examine his reflection. His cheeks are flushed from a second and then a third drink, his curls looking a bit flat at the end of the day. He pulls back his lips to examine his teeth, making sure the wine didn’t stain them. Fine. He looks fine.
He huffs at his reflection. Normally, his confidence in his appearance is, one might say, inflated . Tonight, he’s feeling unusually self-conscious about it. He pokes at the moles under his eye and grimaces.
It had been a marvelous time. True to their word, his fellow captain had bought him the first cup of cheap wine. He’d pitched in for their second round, and they’d each decided on a third. After agreeing that tonight would involve absolutely no discussion of the next day’s case, they simply let the conversation take them where it would, and took them it did. 
It was… easy. Instinctive. He told them all about leaving his terribly boring hometown behind for the call of Baldur’s Gate, determined to polish himself to a high shine and enjoy everything the city life had to offer. They told him that Neverwinter was a beautiful, sparkling metropolis, but woefully lacking in people who weren’t head-and-shoulders up their own arse.
Astarion fidgets with the wooden comb and brush laid out on his vanity, smiling. Wine loosened their tongues a bit more and they’d given into the compulsion to openly flirt with one another, and it had been… good. Very good. It’s been some time since he’s felt genuinely interested in spending an evening with someone this way. If anything, he thanks his dates for the delightful makeout session and goes on his merry way.
He runs his fingers along his bottom lip, remembering being partway into that third cup and snatched up with the overwhelming desire to kiss them. The air around them felt heated and heady, their laughs going lower in pitch as the night wore on, their eyes half-lidded when they looked at him.
He’d wanted to. He’d wanted to so badly. More than he could ever remember wanting to kiss anyone. And he’d let his nerves get the better of him.
They’d bid their goodnights, he’d come back here, and now he was flopping down onto his too-hard single bed with a huff, covering his face with his hands. He sighs and drags them over his skin, looking at his wall covered in parchment, his reminders and notes to himself everywhere, a few tickets to events he wanted to remember pinned here and there.
He reaches out and taps the flyer advertising the mock trial competition, feeling a slow grin spread over his face. They’d bested him today, but tomorrow… tomorrow’s another story.
***
The look on their face when Astarion delivers his final arguments to the judges is delicious. He’s back in the game, fully and completely, using every bit of performative flair to make sure all eyes stay on him. When he wraps it up, he pays them a smug glance and they’re looking at him with lips slightly parted.
Better yet, they’re blushing .
He positively beams.
Baldur’s Gate comes out victorious, leaving the teams one-and-one. Tomorrow will decide the competition.
Tonight, they all go out together to play.
The Neverwinter team is desperately competitive and worth every bit of the name they’ve made for themselves on the university circuit, but they also love to party. The two groups find a rager of a soiree happening at the winter house of one of the Upper City students. There’s dancing, and drinking, and no small number of heated exchanges.
Astarion doesn’t waste the opportunity to rub elbows with anyone notable – he has long-term goals, after all – but most of his attention is devoted to spending as much time as possible with his new Neverwinter friend.
They share a dance or two on the trellised patio, purple and white wisteria hanging down all around them and perfuming the air. Nothing salacious… at least, not at first. That second dance ends up a bit close, with their hand on his chest and his just the tiniest bit too low on their hip for propriety.
In the twilight, they look into his face, their own expression open and affectionate, and it hits Astarion again – that overwhelming desire to kiss them. His heartbeat quickens, fluttering his pulse up along the side of his neck, and his breath catches. Heat swirls through him from the place their hand sits on his chest.
This is ridiculous. He’s never had a problem kissing anyone else before.
He’s never wanted to kiss anyone like this before, though. This thing between them… it’s chemical. Magical.
The music drifts away and they drift apart.
He does not kiss them.
***
Day three of the competition dawns and it’s the fiercest one yet. Every member of each team is out to win and they bring their very best to the table. The professors and other staff acting as the competition's judges watch the back and forth with raised eyebrows, thoroughly impressed by their students’ passion.
And no passion is so intense as the passion between the two team captains, who pace around one another like a pair of territorial wolves, seeking any weakness at all. They stand on either side of a long table, making their cases back and forth. Occasionally they address the judge, but clearly this is a battle between the two of them.
“The evidence is crystal clear,” the Neverwinter captain states, eyes narrowed. “This man is corrupt, feeding information to the highest bidder with complete disregard for any life ruined in the process. It is unconscionable, and the court must see justice through.”
Astarion slams his hands down on the table for effect and leans closer, eyes on them. “The evidence reveals he feared for his life, for the lives of his family. He performed these misdeeds under duress. The true culprit is not in this courtroom. And that…” He pauses for effect, letting the tension stretch. “... is why I move for a mistrial.”
There’s a bark of laughter behind him from his teammate and the room goes nearly to shambles under the sudden upswing in feverish whispering. Astarion grins.
Astarion stands his ground.
Astarion wins his requested mistrial .
In the end, the final judging declares Baldur’s Gate the winner of the day, but Neverwinter the overall mock trial champions – decided by a single point.
The entire mock chambers breathes a collective sigh of relief for the end of a battle well fought and new friends made. Astarion’s teammates are swarming him, slapping his back and praising his performance. He’s grinning ear to ear and looks up just in time to see the Neverwinter captain come barrelling through the crowd to catch him in a hug. He gasps and instinctively wraps his arms around them in return.
After a solid squeeze, they stand back and put their hands on his shoulders. They’re flushed with the fight, with the win. Their eyes shine a bit in the light.
“Well done,” they say, beaming. “You were incredible.”
Astarion gulps and manages to pull on a smile. “Congratulations on your win.”
“You’ll be at the party tonight?” they ask, looking between his eyes.
“Of course,” Astarion says. “I'll see you later.”
***
And he doesn’t miss it.
Astarion stands in the mock chambers again some time later, the air far less tense and much more celebratory. The teams and their judges and staff mingle amid the catered trays of sandwiches and pitchers of cheap wine. He looks around with two cups in hand, seeking out his new friend. Friend. Friend?
When he spots them, he simply can’t stop the smile pulling at his mouth. He wants so badly to be cool tonight and they make it so hard.
He takes a breath and approaches them. They turn from the person they’re currently chatting with and light up when they spot him. Their companion looks at Astarion and takes their leave with raised eyebrows, clearly aware that their conversation is now over.
Astarion clears his throat and offers a cup. They accept it.
“It’s really very bad,” Astarion says with a scoff. “But it’s something.” He takes a sip.
They continue to smile coyly at him as they bring their own cup to their mouth.
“You’re leaving tomorrow?” Astarion says, looking into his cup so he doesn’t have to see their face.
There’s a pause, and then softly, they say, “Yes. Late morning. We’re hoping to make it back to Neverwinter before the snows start on the road.”
Astarion takes another drink of his wine and sets it down before he looks back at them. “That’s unfortunate,” he says with a soft, sad laugh. “Because I’ve rather liked the time we’ve spent together.” He pauses and swallows. “I’ve rather liked you .”
They tilt their head, wine held aloft in one hand, and let their smile widen.
When they don’t respond, Astarion says, “That is, you’re very clever to be around. Fun. Fun to be around? I like to be around you because you’re just…” He looks around desperately like he’s going to find help for this. “... incredible.”
They turn and set their cup down on a nearby bench.
Astarion rambles on, “I only thought maybe you might be, I don’t know, interested in letting me show you what else I’m capable of.” High-pitched laugh. “Outside the courtroom.” Clears his throat and blinks rapidly. “If you want.”
With a giggle, they grab him by the lapels and pull him in, pressing their mouth fully to his in a kiss that makes him immediately swoon, his legs going a touch weak as he leans against them for support. The chatter around them goes muffled in his mind as they both adjust for a better fit and he feels his ears flush pink to the very tips.
When the kiss breaks, Astarion can feel his heart beating in his throat, in his fingertips, in his lips, in his… oh, that’s going to be an issue very soon.
They catch his eye and say, “You want to get out of here?”
He’s never nodded his head “yes” so quickly in his life.
***
They don’t make it anywhere close to the dorms.
Now that the seal’s been broken, Astarion simply can’t keep his hands off of them. They escape into the hall together and run a few steps down the way when he crashes into them, wrapping his arms around them from behind until he gets them to turn so he can kiss them again, both hands on either side of their head as they stumble.
They run a ways, kiss a ways, run a ways, and so on until Astarion yanks them down a side hallway behind the library, looking from door to door. When he finds one he likes, he gives their hand a tug and they use the momentum to slam against him until his back hits the door. The pair of them laugh deliriously as they kiss again, tongues testing and discovering, but then they break from his mouth to kiss toward his ear.
The moment they suck on the lobe, his cock goes fully and painfully hard, hips bucking out as he whines into the air beside them.
“No, no, not there,” he says in a breathy whisper. “Not unless you want to call it a very early evening.”
They bury their face in the side of his neck, giggling, and he scrambles his hand around behind him until he finds the doorknob and they both go tumbling inside.
Astarion collapses onto the floor with his companion on top and doesn’t even think before he kicks the door shut with one foot and reaches up to bring their face back to his for another kiss. This time, he uses a thumb to stroke along the length of their own elven ear and then groan into his mouth, grinding down hard against him.
Oh gods, this is happening.
He wants this to happen.
On impulse, he reaches down their bodies until his hand's between his companion’s legs, gently cupping them there, and they sit upright, head thrown back in the very low magical lantern light of this filing room, and rock themselves against it. He does his best to give them the friction they’re seeking.
A minute or so later, they tilt their head forward and meet his eyes, their eyes stormy and lustful. They take his hands and pull them both back to standing, backing him up until he slams up against the side of the nearest filing shelf. Fingers fumble with the buttons of his doublet and he tries to help, getting them undone enough that they can reach their hands inside and scrape their nails over his ribs through his undershirt. Astarion’s chest arches forward, goosebumps prickling over his skin as he makes contented noises through their kiss.
Then they kiss down his neck, giving him a little nip near the collarbone that makes him squeak, which he attempts to cover with a purr. They keep going until they kneel on the floor and work at the lacings of his trousers. His tongue feels so heavy in his mouth, and he’s about to say that they don’t have to do-
But then their mouth is on his freed cock and he throws his head back, swooning into the overwhelming sensation of wet heat surrounding him. He’s done this before, and it was fine, but it wasn’t like this . Maybe it’s because he’s so attracted to them? Maybe it’s because they’re doing… that thing… with their tongue…
He whines and pulls in a deep breath, trying to keep his wits about him, because he highly suspects that one-sided head is not how they want the night to end. Before he reaches a dangerous place, he puts his hand on their head and gently slows them. They pull off of him and look up with a smile, their eyes the exact mix of mischief and sexiness that caught him in the first place.
No one’s ever made him feel like this. Not once.
This one, though. They’ve wound their way around the very core of him.
Astarion gulps and says, quiet and shy, “I haven’t done this before.”
Their eyes go a little wider. “Really?” they say, sincere. “You?”
He laughs. “I mean, I’ve done what we just did, but I haven’t… done what I think we’re about to do.”
They give his cock one more long lick that makes him sway a bit before they stand back up and kiss him. He melts into it. He likes them so very, very much. It hurts that they’re leaving, but this is right. He knows it is. These past few days and nights feeling them take root in him… they’ve all been leading to this.
“Well, then, I’m honored,” they say, and they sound like they mean it. “If we’re about to do what you’re thinking.”
“Oh, yes, please,” he says, kissing them again.
They each separate and disrobe, their clothing building a haphazard pile between them. Soon enough, they swipe the old files off the nearest table and his playmate faces it, bidding him closer with a smile over their shoulder, almost exactly the same as the first one they ever paid him in the canteen only a few nights ago.
Astarion takes his cock in his hand, still spit-slick, and puts his other hand on their hip. They lean over the tabletop, palms flat on the surface, and spread their legs for him. His breath stutters, his legs go weak beneath him. He can’t quite believe he’s here.
Beneath him, they shift their weight so they can put their hand over his. He’s shaking, just a little.
“We can stop if you want to,” they say, their words reedy with need but sincere beneath it.
“No,” Astarion says. Licks his lower lip. “I want to do this with you.”
They give a light laugh. “Whenever you’re ready.”
He nods, then realizes they can’t see him. “Okay. Okay.”
His fingers move from their hip to the middle of their back and he draws the pads of his fingers down over their spine. They shiver under the touch and Astarion swallows hard. His fingers trace all the way to where their arse begins to curve. He shudders in a breath and brings two fingers to his mouth to suck, then reaches between their legs to touch them there, apply pressure, rub small circles.
They arch and hum beneath his ministrations.
Astarion holds his breath and pushes his fingers inside them, losing his footing just a bit as he feels their heat, the pulse of them around his fingers. When he has his wits back, he moves his fingers in and out, pumping slow, listening to their breath beneath him for cues on what he might be doing right or wrong. He turns his fingers a bit, mapping their body, and they give a shuddering sigh.
Their insides grow warmer to the touch. Are they supposed to do that?
“More,” they huff. “You can do more now.”
“Right,” Astarion says, withdrawing his fingers and moving in closer, his arousal pulsing with anticipation. It feels like crossing into a new world, going somewhere that will well and truly mark him an adult. And he’s ready.
His cock rests at their entrance and with one more breath he guides himself inside with his hand. There’s a brief resistance, a pleasant pressure against the head of him, and then he’s half inside. His hips instinctively give a second thrust and then he’s fully sheathed.
He gasps and curls forward into their body just as they arch into his. Astarion’s arm wraps around their waist and he holds them tight.
“Okay?” they gasp again, their legs quivering.
“You feel…” he pants, pressing his forehead to the space between their shoulder blades. “Gods, you feel so good.”
They laugh and reach a hand behind them to tangle in the hair at the side of his head. “You too. You feel good, too.”
Astarion huffs out his breath and tries to place a sloppy kiss to their back, but it’s so hard when this feeling is coursing through him and his thoughts are going haywire because everything is different, now. He’s different, now.
He draws his hips back and rolls them forward again.
They sigh with it, signaling their approval.
So he does it again. And again. And again.
Together they build a rhythm. Every once in a while, they help Astarion angle himself this way or that, teaching him how to make a partner feel, make them shudder, make them moan. He finds a spot near the front of them that makes them squirm and he files that knowledge away. They take his hand and guide him round to their front and show him what to do, how they like to be touched.
He’s a fast learner. Always has been.
Astarion pants as he attempts to commit every second of this experience to memory: being buried deep inside, feeling the shudder and movement of his partner, the way they flush and bloom, the unbearably sexy sounds that float from their throat to his ears. Most of all, he wants to remember how this feels , how much he enjoys the person he’s sharing this with. His heart thuds in his chest, his ears flush with arousal and affection, and he is so happy to be exactly here, in this moment.
The pair of them grow slick with sweat against one another in the unventilated room, their cries stifled and sultry. The minds are willing, but the bodies are young and eager. The passion building between them swells, shivering, laser-focused on the place where they meet.
Their rhythm goes chaotic and Astarion only barely holds on long enough for his partner to fall over the edge before he goes tumbling after.
For a scant moment, the world goes paler than he’s ever seen it.
Then they’re both whimpering through the other side of their peak, movements gradually slowing to stillness.
After they’ve had an awkward disentanglement and a more awkward cleanup, they look into one another’s faces, and then they’re kissing again, touching again, losing themselves again. What youth lacks in experience, it makes up in vigor.
They do it once more, face to face this time. Slower, longer. Astarion learns what it’s like to soul kiss someone while making love to them. He likes it. Very much.
Some time later, Astarion leans against the table and stares down at his doublet while he does up the buttons. Beneath his lashes, he peeks up and sees them looking at him, their mouth titled up in a sweet smile. They’re already fully dressed.
“What?” Astarion says airily. His cheeks are warm and he’s positive he’s rosy pink with a blush.
“You are so pretty,” they say. “And funny, and clever. You’ve been lovely company.”
Astarion raises his eyebrows and looks askance, unable to stop grinning. “Yes, well. You’re delightful, as well, and you certainly gave me a night to remember. Thanks, for that.”
It goes unspoken between them, the knowledge that this is the last and only night. They’re young, they’re dedicated to their studies. There won’t be time for lovesick letters and pining, nice as it might be. No. Best that they keep this memory contained in crystal, sparkling.
His opponent, his friend, his lover walks closer and puts a finger under his chin and Astarion allows them to tilt his face so he’s looking at them. Then they lean in and give him a tender kiss.
When they break away, they stay close and look him in the eye. “What you gave me was a gift, you know. I won’t forget it.”
Astarion smiles. “Nor I.”
With one last kiss, they say their goodbyes. “Goodnight, Astarion,” they say. “I do hope we meet again, one of these days.”
“Me too,” he says, watching their retreat. “Goodnight, Tav.”
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comatosebunny09 · 11 months ago
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heavy | astarion a.
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summary: well, it...looked heavy. genre(s): fluff, romance, humor warning(s): cheesy af, a little steaminess now playing: fish in the pool - frozen silence screenshot credit
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In a cozy, snow-laden inn tucked away in an undisclosed location, you watch him. Half-hidden by a support beam, studying your target like, well…a creep.
He’s prim and pretty, perched on a red velvet settee. The shadows cast by the fireplace dance over his striking features. 
He pores over a tome, a wine glass clasped in slender fingers. Swirls its contents about, settled in an easy slouch. Nothing in the book catches his interest, boredom draping itself across his shoulders.
You take that as your cue to add some flair to his evening. 
“Hey,” you venture, capturing the vampire’s interest from across the lobby. He sits up, lowering the tome to his lap at the sound of your footsteps. Blinks as you slide onto the cushion beside him, a smirk playing at your lips. 
“Hello, darling,” drawls Astarion, draping an arm over the back of the chair. His lips quirk the slightest. Eyes skim over your lashes, your mouth. “How may I be of service to you tonight?”
You angle yourself closer. Enthralled by the idle shift of his fingers as they curve along the gilded spine of the tome. Squinting, you note, “That looks heavy.”
Astarion fixes you with a pointed look. Leans against the hand cupping his wine glass, pushing a few alabaster curls from his face. “What are you on about, love?”
“That,” you insist, signaling something in his lap. “That looks incredibly heavy. Need help holding it?”
Astarion scoffs, so close as he searches through your mischievous gaze that his breath ruffles your hair. “Well, I was reading it. But, if you insist.” 
The book snaps shut. Resigned, the vampire levels the tome towards you. Humored as you pluck it from him and discover it’s weighted. Cautiously, you slide it onto your thighs. And when Astarion moves to return his hand to his lap, yours darts out to take hold of it.
Astarion releases an indignant sound, his glass poised at his lips. He raises a curious brow, to which you shrug and chuckle something impish.
“Your hand. It looked heavy. Figured I’d hold it for you.”
Astarion huffs a laugh. Watches you through crinkled eyes whilst throwing back the remains of his wine. “Come now, darling. You can do better than that.” 
You peer down at your hands clasped together on the book. “Well, I’m holding your hand, aren’t I?”
The vampire rolls his eyes, relinquishing something between a scoff and a chuckle to the soundless air. 
Touche.
You sit like this in comfortable silence, occasionally exchanging fond glances and enamored laughter as the air thickens with desire. 
Suddenly, you turn towards him, scrutinizing his side profile. “You wanna make out?” you blurt before your mind can sync with your lips.
“Gods,” sighs Astarion, throwing the wine glass over his shoulder. It shatters on the floor whilst the vampire crawls towards you on the sofa. A predatory gleam in his eyes as he corners you, pinning you beneath his weight, murmuring against your lips, “I thought you’d never ask.”
You giggle when he slots himself between your thighs, arms instinctively winding about his shoulders, and he draws you into a succulent kiss.
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littlejuicebox · 11 months ago
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My Sun, My Moon
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Pairing: Spawn Astarion x GN!Reader/Tav Summary/Setting: 6 months post BG3 / Part 2 to my other fic Astarion talks in his sleep. Rating/Warnings: PG-13 / In game spoilers / Alludes to sexual encounters / Mentions of past trauma etc / Pretty much all fluff / It’s so sweet it’s going to rot your teeth Word Count: 2.3K Notes: This is 5/5 Days of "Star-mas!"
*takes a bow* Happy Holidays! Hope you all enjoyed!
I'm also entering this into the #BG3HolidayFluffle23 challenge under the prompt "twinkling lights."
Click here to see my master list.
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After Astarion’s sleep-talking gave away his little secret, you’d spent nearly every waking moment anticipating the rogue’s proposal. You were horribly, terribly wrong every time, of course. You began to think that perhaps your original assumptions were right, and that an engagement would come much later on. Maybe he wasn’t quite ready. Maybe he was just planning and thinking about the future… the frustratingly distant future. He’d ask the question when he was ready, you reasoned; in his own time and on his own terms. You could respect that.
But then, on the eve of the Netherbrain Battle’s six month anniversary, you came home to a dinner that Astarion had cooked (almost) entirely himself. Candles were lit, table settings were placed, and your lover chose an expensive wine pairing for the meal. His steak was, of course, entirely raw while yours was seasoned and cooked to perfection. You were certain you had Shadowheart to thank for your half of the meal, but you’d complimented your lover and all his efforts, nonetheless. At the end of dinner, you were quite confident that this would be the moment you’d been waiting weeks for.
“I have something to say.” Astarion murmured, lithe fingers rubbing circles on the back of your hand as he clasped it in his own.
You practically felt your soul leave your body in that moment. Oh gods, you knew what your answer would be, you knew this was coming, and yet here it was, and you were still wholly unprepared. You barely fumbled out a, “Y-yes, my love? What is it?”
“I read your mail.” Astarion responded, his eyes flooding full of guilt at the confession. He expelled a small sigh, flicking his gaze up at the ceiling and then back down to you. “Darling, I know we have been discussing this for months, but I really don’t think we should go to the Underdark. You’re getting so many outstanding offers that require you to remain in the city. You’re the hero of Baldur’s Gate, for god’s sakes. I know you want me to be safe from the sun… but I can’t, in good conscience, do that to you and rip you away from so many wonderful opportunities.”
“O-oh…” Your chest deflates and you catch yourself frowning for just a moment. Astarion’s brow furrows as he incorrectly interprets the cause of your sudden mood shift to be the current conversation and not the crushing disappointment you were trying to shove aside. You quickly try to move into a more neutral expression, but the rogue is already jumping into another worried explanation.
“Darling... Please hear me. I love you more than anything, and I know you better than anyone. You will not be truly happy there, of that much I am absolutely certain. These offers you’re receiving will give you multiple avenues to build the life you want…. the life we want. Imagine the good you could do with that level of influence, my love! Let me help you; I can review contracts, negotiate deals… whatever you need to ensure your success. Do not throw away so much potential on my account. I simply couldn’t live with myself if you did.”
He was right, of course. The only thing you wanted almost as much as you wanted Astarion was to continue the good work you two had been doing for Baldur’s Gate.
You sigh and nod your head, squeezing his hand gently. “You’re right, my love. I suppose it would be silly for both of us to throw away so much opportunity.”
Astarion beamed at your response before leaning over the table to plant a kiss on your lips. You smiled at the rogue when he pulled away to look at you with adoring crimson eyes. Perhaps it hadn’t been the conversation you were hoping for, but it had been a good and much needed one, nonetheless.
-----
Tonight, you and Astarion decided to take a stroll around the city. You were following the vampire’s lead, ambling around the streets as he pointed out more than a few of his old haunts. He revealed some of the difficult moments in his past as you two meandered about… more than one of the tales nearly made you cry with an overwhelm of sympathy for your lover. But you held back, knowing the elf hated eyes full of pity almost as much as he’d hated Cazador.
You noted that Astarion seemed to look back on his experience with more acceptance now. You knew, of course, that there were likely an infinite number of stories he had not yet revealed to you and perhaps never would. But you were still happy to see a bit of lightness in him as he spoke his truth. He hadn’t appeared to have one of his episodes on the entire walk, and as you pondered this, you also realized his night terrors had only occurred a handful of times this month. Such an improvement to what had been an almost daily incidence when you two originally moved in together.
Before long, you and your love arrived at the docks, where just over six months ago you’d felt as if you’d been stabbed in the gut as you watched the rays of sunlight scorch the vampire until he was forced to run for cover. But now, you two stood there hand in hand, resting in a pocket of comfortable silence. Both of you were admiring the twinkling starlight, full moon, and dark, mysterious expanse of the sea.
“The stars were so much more beautiful in the wilds… don’t you think, my sweet?” Astarion asks, his eyes filled with wistfulness as he ponders the sky.
You utter a little hum of agreement as your mind flashes to the first night in camp, when you caught Astarion reclined on his bedroll, stargazing. You turned your head to look at the rogue and remind him of the memory, but found he disappeared from your line of sight. Your vision wanders down and there he is, bent on one knee.
Oh this had to be the moment. Just when you were about to shout yes before the rogue even had a moment to say anything, Astarion looks up and smiles, a small pouch of gold coins in his hand. “Look! I suppose it’s our lucky day, darling. Their loss is our gain, would— are you alright, Tav? You’ve got this strange look on your face.”
Gods, not again. You feel your face flush with embarrassment. In your excitement and overwhelm, you’d almost ruined everything and let Astarion know that you knew his little secret. You made the decision then and there that this would be the last time you anticipated his proposal; let it happen when it’s meant to happen. You were done playing the guessing game. You couldn’t ruin everything with your big fat mouth.
You nod your head slightly before turning to look back at the stars once more, taking a deep breath and hoping to settle yourself.
“Yes, my love. I suppose I’m just thrilled by the beauty of the stars and the full moon, tonight. And by your beauty, of course.”
The rogue stands up, tucking the small sachet in his pocket. He smiles and places a soft, loving peck on the apple of your cheek before wrapping his arm around your waist. The two of you look up at the stars once more, and you spend a few moments pointing out some constellations in the sky. Stargazing had been one of the first things you two bonded over in camp.
Astarion is watching you with devoted interest as you ramble on about the planets and the mythological creatures represented by the patterns in the stars. Finally, there is a small lapse in conversation, and you want to take the opportunity to kiss him, but when you turn, the vampire is once again out of your sight line.
When you look down this time, Astarion is looking up at you, holding a velvet box in shaking hands.
“Tav—" He manages to choke out, but then his eyes fill with tears, and he stops to blink them away, chuckling softly at himself. You immediately come to kneel in front of your love, hands pressed to either side of his face, silently urging him to continue.
The vampire inhales shakily, suddenly quite overwhelmed by the extreme vulnerability he knows he’s about to lay before you. But the softness of your hands on his face grounds him in the moment and he smiles, admiring the look of utter adoration in your eyes.
A couple of tears fall over the edge of his lash line, and you immediately swipe them away with your shaking thumb. Another chuckle escapes the silver-haired elf, and he shakes his head in disbelief.
“My love… I’ve rehearsed this for weeks. I’ve said it all out loud more than a thousand times, I’m sure. I’ve spent almost every opportunity in your absence practicing this. One time I even had Shadowheart pretend to be you while I rehearsed my grand speech. But now that we are here… I’ve nearly forgotten everything I wanted to say.”
You move forward to press a kiss to Astarion’s lips, your hands still shaking as you run your thumb over his cheekbone. “It’s okay, my Star. Please continue, when you’re ready… rehearsed or from the heart… I want to hear it all the same.”
Astarion nods just a fraction and inhales. The shaking hand that is not holding the ring box comes to lay atop your own hand resting on his face. Your love slowly, absently runs his thumb along the back of your palm as he gathers his thoughts. He stares into your eyes with so much love that you almost kiss him again but hold yourself back to allow him to continue.
Astarion exhales a shuddering breath and then continues in a reverent tone, as if he’s whispering a prayer, “My darling. I have lived long life. Much of it was a sad and hopeless one. When we were walking through the city, I pointed out several places where I’d encountered horrible things. Many of those things are still hard to talk about… some of it, I don’t know that I will ever be able to.”
You are crying now, from the overwhelming blend of sympathy for your little Star and palpable feeling of love in this beautiful moment. Tears begin coursing thin streams down your cheeks. Astarion wipes away the tears as they fall, though his lips start trembling from your display of emotion.
“B-but what I do know is that… in many of the places I pointed out, there are also memories of us. Of our friends. Of the time we spent together before saving the city and of the six months we’ve spent here after that. Little by little, we are taking places that only held horrible memories for me and turning them into places that hold feelings of hope and happiness.
I guess what I’m saying is that… these past six months have been the counterweight to two hundred years of misery. And I do not think I deserve you, but I cannot imagine my life without you. You are everywhere I go, everywhere I look, and every happy memory I hold in my heart. If you’ll have me… I would like to spend the rest of our lives, however long they may be, turning this city into a place of hope for us and for the people we hold dear.”
Astarion opens the box, and you gasp in true awe as he reveals possibly the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen. At the center is a beautiful moonstone, emitting an ethereal glow that shines brilliantly in the darkness of the pier. The setting is gold, and an intricate sunburst pattern made in smaller gems surrounds the center stone.
“Standing on the dock that day, after that long battle… I had the thought that my life was ruined when I realized I could no longer stand in the sun. I thought I might never know true happiness again. But it turns out, that was the moment my new life with you began… and you’ve opened the door to more happiness than I could’ve ever imagined for myself.
Even if I never see the sun again, I have made my peace. I would make the choices I made to be here with you, on this dock, in this moment, again and again in every lifetime. You are my sun and my moon. And my darling, it would be my honor to be your Star for the rest of time. Tav… will you marry me?”
As soon as the question comes out of your lover’s lips, you instantly push forward to crash into Astarion, enveloping the elf in an emotional kiss. You both topple over from the sheer force of your ardor, and as you do, the vampire deftly snaps the ring box closed to protect it from spilling out onto the dock.
When you finally break away, panting heavily, both your faces are thoroughly flushed with excitement. The vampire looks up at you, scarlet eyes filled with absolute devotion. You giggle and press one more soft kiss to the rouge before taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss to his knuckle. “Yes, Astarion. Nothing in this life would make me happier than to share it with you.”
-----
Later that evening, the two of you are naked in bed after several rounds of vigorous celebration. You’re admiring your ring, which is still faintly glowing in the semi-darkness of your bedchambers. Astarion takes your hand and presses his lips to the ring with a small smile; his scarlet eyes closely examine the gem.
“I don’t know how it works… you would have to ask Gale. But the center stone glows when I think of you, you know.”
You blink, moving to touch the gemstone in the middle of the ring with curiosity. “But it hasn’t stopped glowing since we’ve been on the docks.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we’ve been on the docks.” Astarion replies simply, moving his hand to stroke your cheek as a gentle, good-natured laugh escapes his mouth, “Perhaps now you’ll have some insight into how often my thoughts revolve around you, my sweet.”
You feel your eyes welling with tears again. Damn this man and his beautiful heart… he truly never misses a detail when it comes to you. You move forward to pull his lips into another loving kiss, and when you break away this time, a thought crosses your mind.
“Astarion… did you really find that bag of coins on the dock?”
Your lover grins mischievously, his crimson eyes crinkling at the corners as he grabs your ring-clad hand and kisses it once more.
“No, my sweet. But I had to throw you off. Shadowheart told me about my mishap. I wanted to surprise you… but you know me far too well and you’ve never been easily fooled… and the sleepy confession didn’t help things at all. I just figured that you would never anticipate that I’d drop down on one knee twice in a row.”
Astarion knew you just as well as you knew him… and he had been right. He’d fooled you. You roll your eyes and chuckle as the rogue moves closer to you, nuzzling into the side of your neck where fresh fang marks throbbed.
“Now what do you say, darling? One more round of celebration before we go to bed?”
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victoria-grimesss · 7 months ago
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Hi! Can I please request hcs for Halsin and Astarion with plus size gn!reader who is self concious about their size (and are extremely anxious about clothes and food if thats not too much)? Completely understand if no, feel free to ignore 💚 Thanks!
Astarion & Halsin with a PlusSize!Reader (GN)
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->A/N: This turned out to be more of a Drabble and less of HC’s oops.
————
->Halsin:
Once you two are in an established relationship he would be tuned to your feelings and notice when your mood shifts and sours.
He would notice you paying more attention to your clothing and what you eat, at first he would be alarmed, not taking it lightly that you would restrict your meals. “My flower, our travels take us long and far, please let me know what ails you so I may see you well again.”
When the tears come to your eyes and your hands shake with your heightened nerves he would grow even more alarmed.
You would tell him all of your worries, and how they plague your mind day and night.
He would silence, your worry growing with each second of silence before his gentle reassurance graces your ears.
“You are beautiful to me, from sunrise to sunset I only think of you, your beauty ellipses all else and I’m sorry these thoughts make you think of yourself any other way. I have traveled and seen things far and wide, but you; you are nature's greatest gift to me, to the world. If I could manifest these terrible thoughts from your head and slay them myself I would for you. But know, you are beautiful as you are, I would ask for you no differently.
“I will help you work through these thoughts, no matter how long it takes.”
Your eyes are glossy, his sincerity seeping to your bones, “And what if it takes quite a while to quiet my racing mind?”
“My flower, you forget I am a Druid, I have lived a lifetime already and for you I would live a thousand more just to see you happy.”
->Astarion:
To speak plainly, Astarion is vain. He cannot see himself but he knows he is an attractive man that much is clear.
He would find you no different than anyone else, besides the fact that he loves you more than anyone else at this camp. And it turn, you would get to hear all of his daily complaints about the other companions.
He would come to you to complain when he would stop and notice you’re not listening at all. “Darling, you know it is rude to ignore someone when they’re talking to you.” He would be teasing but the words would flow over you like the wind.
The mirror by his tent had your attention, you glare at your reflection, your thoughts racing with the shadows of doubt.
“My sweet?” His hand touches your shoulder and it brakes the trance.
“Do you like how I look? Am I what you want?”
His heart would break at your voice, “Is that why you’re eating less? And here I thought the parasite was messing with you.” He means to lighten the mood but when you show no change he clears his throat.
“Of course I like how you look, I love it. Gods to be honest your the first person that I love everything about. It’s odd to love someone so strongly, I resisted it for a while, scared I’d lose you but I couldn't be without you or see you with another.
“You could have anyone”
“I could, but I only want you, as you want me. I will love you until I turn to dust and even then in the next life I believe I will love you. No matter how you look.”
He can be awfully sweet and poetic when he wants, almost makes your teeth hurt sometimes.
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bloodiedrogue · 1 year ago
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EASY DAYS AHEAD
SUMMARY: Astarion's not used to feeling cared for. Luckily though, you're as caring as they come.
PAIRING: Astarion & Gender Neutral Reader
WORD COUNT: 1,925
WARNINGS: Astarion's POV, 18+ sexual content, oral sex (male receiving), body worship if you squint, CONSENT!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi, consent is incredibly sexy. That's all I gotta say. Also that I'm pretty sure I was possessed by something because I wrote this in literally an hour and a half???
MASTERLIST
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Astarion doesn’t deserve the care that goes into loving him. With nothing more to offer than a broken mind wrapped in precious, tainted silk, it’s hard to wrap his head around the tenderness. Specifically the feeling of your skin, trailing patterns down his spine —painting fresh images over the scars that line his back as you praise him for his efforts. 
Your voice sounds wrong in his ears. Every word distorting. All the syllables jumbling up in ways that make him narrow his eyes, staring through the darkness of the tent at nothing in particular. 
“You okay?” you ask, and even now, weeks after your first night spent together, he has to muster up everything he’s got not to break down in front of you. 
“I’m fine, darling.” 
His lips always pull in that liar’s grin, ripping through his face like knives. Slicing the inside of his cheeks each time his fangs bite down on the wet flesh inside. 
He has to force himself to look at you. To stare at the exhausted smile that slowly shifts to a frown, showcasing your insight. How you know he’s lying before he can even elaborate on why he’s fine or how you shouldn’t worry about him —he’s a creature of the night after all. 
Pressing fully against him, he hears you click your tongue and shake your head as if scolding him. “What do you need?” 
Each time you pose that same question he feels like dying. Despite the fact his heart no longer works like yours —despite the act of breathing being nothing more than a habit he’s carried over from his deathbed— there’s a dread that coats his chest. Like oil, thick and slick, it completely drowns his organs. Suffocating his body while his mind and soul fight over what comes next. 
As the internal argument grows, his eyes always dart back and forth. One moment they’re locked onto your face, obsessively viewing each section and the next they’re anywhere but. In the forest, on the battlefield, back home tucked tightly inside the palm of his master’s hand —each night he travels everywhere, lingering in certain places while speeding through others, praying to all the Gods that never listened that he’ll make his way back to you. That just this once, instead of drifting off to sea, they’ll grant him the anchor he so desperately craves. The one that’s tethered to you and the solid ground beneath. 
“You still there, handsome?”
He is —sort of— depending on the moment, but instead of saying that he merely hums. Offering the bare minimum to the only person he’s ever met deserving of more. 
“Tired?”
“Incredibly.” 
You push your chest against his back and grip his shoulder, allowing your fingers to tighten around as you maneuver your lips to his cheek. “You should rest then,” you tell him afterward, but like always the words get pushed together. Morphing into something else entirely, causing him to narrow his eyes. 
“You’re one to talk, aren’t you?” he teases, watching you roll your eyes —feeling your nails tentatively dig into his flesh as a warning. 
“Shush. Don’t make me shove a sleeping potion down your throat.”
In response, he lets out a humorous huff. Then, his hands move to snake around your waist, pulling you on top of him. “Go ahead. I’m sure Gale would thoroughly enjoy such misuse of his wares.”
“My wares,” you correct, pressing an annoyed kiss to his chest, making sure to catch his skin between your teeth in the process as a warning. “I bought them from him fair and square.”  
Immediately, he grabs your chin and raises his brow. “Why the hells would you need a potion of sleep anyway? You already sleep like a corpse.”
You merely look away with a smile. All while rolling your eyes in that way that makes him feel like he’s young again. Freshly born into a world that hadn’t yet chewed and spat him out. One where the veins beneath his skin are full of warm blood, pumping through his system, fuelling the desire he knows he should have now that you’re lying against him, flesh against flesh. Beating heart against— 
Your lips press against his sternum and he swears they’re the most tender things he’s ever felt. Next to the way your fingers always seem to lace in his when you’re sitting by the campfire, they’re softer than any touch he’s ever experienced. Hungry yet restrained for his benefit, knowing it’s hard to feel like this. To experience the kindness of a pair of lips, worshipping a slab of skin so undeserving of such care. 
Each time your mouth makes contact, your eyes are always on him, asking for permission. Begging for consent. He’s never told you this but it’s the most selfless thing he’s ever experienced. Despite it’s obvious subtly, that look you give each time your mouth can’t help itself or your hands grow a bit too greedy, means more to him than life itself. More than power or revenge. More than freedom. Because that look requires worth. Value. An offering of submission he’s long since memorized. 
Each time it’s given to him, he has to compose himself. Otherwise, he might just shatter entirely —fall to the floor in a hundred tiny pieces not even you may be willing to put in the effort to fix.
Swallowing hard, he has to stare intently at your face, taking in the way you look up at him through your lashes. How you arch your brow just slightly upward, asking for forgiveness. Atoning for your sins in the form of restraint until he eventually nods, hearing your voice. 
You always ask out loud to make sure. An act that only further fuels his desire to feel you wrapped around him. To experience the warmth of your flesh tenderly pressing against the iciness of his. 
“Go ahead, darling,” he tells you, and for once, he means it. Truly. 
Instead of pretending like he wants this for the sake of a game, he accepts you in full. Watching you genuinely grin as you lean up to capture his lips, savouring the taste of his approval. Consuming the sound that absentmindedly passes through his lips as your hand lingers down, drifting past his chest and stomach until you’re pulling away to breathe. 
He can feel his mouth swell with need. The rest of his body following suit as you begin to descend, touching and kissing and biting —putting him through every sensation he’s gifted so many others. 
Leaning up to watch you work, he can see the excitement in your face each time he accidentally twitches beneath you. How the edges of your eyes crinkle with anticipation the moment you find yourself tucked between his legs, looming over him with heavy hands and breaths. 
“You’re beautiful,” you tell him then, and for once it means something. 
“You’re beautiful,” he repeats back, and for once it isn’t a lie. In fact, it’s the most honest he’s ever been, and secretly that scares him. So much so that he has to look down to see if you’re still there. 
Hoping that the sudden sincerity in his voice hasn’t scared you away, he can’t help but focus on the curve of your spine. How it starts low; your chest slightly leaning against one of his inner thighs.
Somehow despite the precarious position, you look perfect. Like a piece of art so carefully made, he can’t help but reach down and touch, revelling in the way you shudder beneath him. Sighing at the sudden desperation that erupts when you pull at the fabric against his waist. 
“Greedy, are we?” he jokes. 
Shooting him an embarrassed look, your hands continue to work his underwear down his legs —ignoring the way they catch at his knees and ankles. “I just really want to make you feel good.” 
The way you speak sends him over the precipice of ruin. Even before you discard the cloth and wrap your hand around the head of his cock, he’s already done for. Lost to the feeling of your digits. Fully enraptured by the heat of your breath as you lean forward and take him between your lips, coating him in spit. He has to close his eyes despite wanting nothing more than to look at you. Feeling the way your cheeks hollow out against him, he can already imagine the expressions of your efforts. All the time and care put in as you stroke him gently, maintaining the slowest pace he’s sure he’s ever experienced. 
It drives him mad with need. Bucking upwards each time your tongue drags across the tip, he instantly feels you push back. With a firm hand, you grip his hip and dig the pads into his flesh as yet another warning, telling him to behave. To just sit back and savour the pleasures he’s deserved rather than rushing through. 
He isn’t used to enjoying this. More often than not feeling like nothing more than a body designated for others enjoyment, he isn’t entirely sure how to properly relish your efforts. Or at least, in a way that doesn’t feel forced. Because he could do what you’re supposed to in this situation: touch you, moan for you, utter sweet nothings in your ear to further spur you on. He could do one of them or all of them, perhaps a mixture of two and still, it wouldn’t be enough to fully showcase the weight that fills his chest each time your mouth bobs up and down. How, as you begin to push him further and further into your mouth until he’s grazing the back of your throat, everything you do feels like the greatest gift he’s ever received. How maddening it is to feel loved like this even when he’s at his most unloveable.
Because that’s what you do to him. With the simplest of touches, you make him feel like him again. Like his mind hasn’t been shattered by the repeated slams of a sinner’s hand. As if his skin, etched by the knife of that same bastard, isn’t scarred. That instead it’s merely just skin. A grouping of muscle and tissue wrapping around his bones —a simple casing of flesh meant to be licked and sucked and pumped for all it’s worth until he’s gasping for air and uncontrollably shaking. 
And sometimes he feels like he’s earned it. During the easy days when he’s able to forget about his past and instead focus on the beauty that’s pressed against his leg, continuing to suck the come from his orgasm, it’s as if he’s on top of the world. Standing on a pillar of his past self’s hopes and dreams, he can easily look down at you with pride. Reaching down to touch your temple, he can feel the haze of your affections in full. The tremors of your possessive lips slowly slipping off, granting him a slick-coated smile that makes him almost faint. 
During those days he can smile back and pull you up into his chest, ignoring the ache between his thighs in your absence. Opting to hold you close. 
“Was that okay?” he hears you ask, and despite the question seeming almost juvenile, all he does is kiss your face. Starting at your forehead before moving to your nose and cheeks —eventually ending on your lips, he answers the question the only way he can. By showing you that, thanks to the care you foolishly offer, the days really are getting easier.
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