#i need to reread it one of these days

[brbarou]

hueyyy....

[why-the-heck-not]

finished a book in the morning and that was a mistake like what am I supposed to do with the rest of the day? Starting a new book would feel like a blasphemy towards this one but also so would just moving on & doing other things

[expectiations]

The Husbands of River Song is not and has never been about the Eleventh Doctor being a deadbeat, distant husband (gross mischaracterization by the way) and the Twelfth Doctor being the "better, more mature, affectionate" husband.

It was about River Song. It was about River and how the events in Manhattan took such a toll on her. It was about letting us see River dealing with grief the way The Snowmen showed us how the Doctor coped after losing believing he had used up all his time with River.

Looking at THORS now with The Ruby's Curse in mind, I get the instinct (for lack of a word that I cannot remember) that the Manhattan incident Blue Roach read from River's diary was not the Manhattan episode that we saw in series 7.

On that note, I'd also like to bring up the fact that the Doctor grounds River and River grounds the Doctor. As Tree talked about in one of her tags, River's empathy is more cognitive than emotional and after musing on it for a bit – considering that the Doctor can no longer go to Manhattan (which may have changed in later series but I wouldn't know at the moment because I have yet to overcome series 7b) and that River does spend time with her parents in Manhattan post-TATM, would the latest Manhattan incident in River's diary be the funeral for Amy? Amy's death? Perhaps even Anthony's? I mean, we already know Rory died five years earlier than Amy. So, knowing how deep River's love for her mother is, it's not too farfetched to say that River spent that time with them. River was by their bedsides as they drew their last breath.

Then Rory's gone, Amy's gone, Anthony's gone. Where does that leave River? Where is the Doctor? (sulking on a cloud on top of Victorian London? trying to figure out the mystery of his newest companion? all while constantly mentioning a certain Professor Song who actually turns out to be his dearly sort of departed absolutely beloved wife?)

Without her parents (and her husband) to ground her, she goes on this maddened, grieving space Robin Hood spree. She seeks fun to fill in the void and takes up marriage as a hobby/side quest. Does she look for the Doctor? Perhaps. Yes, actually. Considering she crashed her latest sort-of-husband's ship onto a planet where she purported the TARDIS to be.

But... she's stealing the TARDIS. She could have just called the Doctor, yeah? So, she doesn't want the Doctor to know then. Well... yeah, considering she has two sort-of-husbands in hand.

So, River would just have gone on from one space Robin Hood spree to the next had the TARDIS not sort-of-stranded herself on Mendorax Dellora to make sure her Water stopped being stubborn and reconcile(?) with her Thief?

Also taking note of how River has read stories about them and knows that Darillium is purported to be their last night together (I could also bring up the fact that this is why I find it easy to digest the "River meeting regenerations of the Doctor younger than the Tenth Doctor makes sense and doesn't break cannon nor ruin SITL/FOTD" but that would take a whole other post). Does this River believe her time with the Eleventh Doctor has ended? The same way series 7b Eleven believed his time with older versions of River has ended? Is this all part of some grand fuckup in communication all thanks to their tangled timelines?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But has River not just been running from her family's death? Has River been running from her supposed last night with the Doctor?

"But River doesn't run." Oh yes. Yes, she does. She knows when to stand her ground. She knows when to charge. And she knows when to run.

"That's out of character for her." No, it's not. She's not invincible. She's this well trained assassin, yes. But invincible? No.

Invincible from the tendency to be blinded by their emotions? Obviously not.

River lies. And River runs.

She is not afraid of her death. She is afraid of the day when her husband, her Doctor, looks into her eyes and looks right through her. And it shouldn't kill her but it does. It did.

So she ran and ran until her bigger-on-the-inside Mum gently reached out and put her back together with the only person left who could ground her. Who she didn't recognize at first but still fell in love with (and would have loved even if he hadn't been revealed to be her actual, long missing husband). Who finally found out their last night wasn't just any night – it was a twenty-four year long last night. Who finally gave her a breather from all the running she'd been doing.

And oh what a night that was (it was the talk of the universe).

[camellia-thea]

okay. just rambling here, but, i think armand took more than just the end of the interview away from daniel.

we got that little moment about that night, saying 'you asked me to' to louis. 'you asked me to take this from you, you could not live with it,' leading into, 'i look after you when you cannot look after yourself, i make those choices for you.'

we know that during the chase and devil's minion era, daniel was an addict, who was, by his own admission, slowly killing himself. he was also addicted to blood.

it's really not too far to make the jump, if devil's minion occurred, that armand made the choice to step in, in his own mind, for daniel's best interests. i know this isn't a unique jump to make, but; again with armand's "i look after him when he cannot look after himself" continual reiteration, i think it's a fair assumption.

he can also replace and blur memories, which makes the discussion of alice and paris -- why the dessert from that night? -- and how immediate and sincere his answer of "she wanted to say yes, but she didn't trust you. you hadn't given her a reason to." this could be the night he took them away, replaced himself with alice, planted something similar for her to start the relationship, then step back and watch it fall. and i think the thing that stands out there is just how tender he is while saying it. there's an undercurrent of something else entirely underneath, it isn't a dig at daniel in the moment, despite the pushing earlier in the scene.

and then in s1, when louis say to daniel, "i'd give it to you now." and the cut to armand, still in disguise, and his micro-expression of horror, the way he stiffens and looks away... and the little moment of what i read as conflict when daniel says no. his jump to "may i be excused?" i can't tell in the moment, if he's horrified about the offer itself, the fact that it is louis offering to turn daniel rather than himself, or the fact that daniel denies it. because i don't think armand could actually let daniel die if this was the case.

the disguise itself-- why pretend to be rashid? i think part of it is to try and hide behind a human persona to keep those memories at bay; especially given the little moments of flashback that got triggered by little mannerisms. i can't decide whether they're intentional pushes or not, whether armand wanted/wants daniel to remember on his own, or wants to keep it under wraps. i think, even if he believes he doesn't want it to come forward, he truly does deep down.

and once he's revealed himself as armand, the way he gazes at daniel, his beautiful boy. the continued "our boy", from both he and louis, the "he's still in there, somewhere..."

and i think "our boy" is also really interesting, because why would daniel be armand's boy, based solely on the moments that louis initially remembered? armand didn't really have any emotional connection to daniel that night, sure, he saved him, but that doesn't really mean anything; he saved daniel for louis, not for daniel's sake.

and, jumping back "our boy,[...] he's still in there somewhere"... there's implication that louis might know about it? again, i don't think this is related to the original interview, or at least, limited to it? i don't have anything concrete here, just vibes, but again, why is armand's boy still in there somewhere?

and sure, some of these are reaches and i don't think i'm necessarily right, but god it would be deliciously awful if i was.

[foxstens]

we should talk about this scene more often

[mistylakeee]

I often forget that Jude and Cardan grew up going to school together. I can’t imagine eight year old Jude and Cardan they both must’ve wrecked absolute havoc as kids

[quietlyblooms]

alright, friends, it's time for a lil heart-to-heart.

for quite a while now, i've struggled with feeling like the rpc is an actual community. there's a few things that contribute to this feeling, but it mostly comes down to a lack of interaction and visible interest. sometimes i feel very one-sided in my interest and attachment to my mutuals bc when i see their ooc posts or headcanons, i like them or comment, yet this isn't reciprocated by everyone. i can usually guess who i'm about to see in my notifications, and to be absolutely clear, i'm very grateful for those people!! it's a handful or two of you, but it could be just one and i'd be grateful. it's not about numbers whatsoever but rather growing uncomfortable that not all of my mutuals are all that interested in my character or me.

i write on here to share the excitement of creating with other people. i write on here to create together, too, but i'm also here to share characters and ideas and lore with people i know are happy to hear me ramble. i'm just getting to the point in which i'm questioning how many of you are actually happy to listen, and that's just not a good feeling at all. i'm not a mind reader, y'all. if you don't tell or show me that you care about the things i talk about or even about interacting, there's no way for me to know. eventually, i'm going to question why you're following me if i never see or hear from you, and eventually, i'm going to softblock and move on. that's the only way forward i see right now because i just do not feel comfortable on my own blog. i feel like i'm retreating into this quiet bubble to avoid discomfort, and it really sucks. it's killing my muse.

i'm not perfect. none of us are, and we can't be online at all times to catch every little post. but if we're a community, then we should be supporting each other when we can and liking headcanons, liking/commenting on those lil ooc posts that remind us our writing partners are humans with lives outside this site, reblogging their promo posts, sending in that meme they've reblogged even if we're nervous to reach out first -- if we're a roleplaying community, then we need to act like it. " community " implies connection, and a connection doesn't really begin when you follow each other. it begins when you reach out, even if it's in some small way.

tldr: i think we can all do better to support our mutuals and to connect, and i'm going to softblock people rather than continue to feel unsure where i stand with my mutuals. i won't start until sometime next week, and i won't make one of those " like this to remain mutuals " posts. they're not helpful to me, if i'm honest. if you're worried, just reach out. i'm literally a 4'9'' gremlin who sleeps with a m.unchlax plushie -- i promise i'm not scary despite this post uvu

[aglionbyacademia]

“Lynches appeared to be very good at dying” Maggie what if I killed myself? What then?

[ash-and-starlight]

another thing i need desperately is a Single crumb of seyhan pov. an average day in his life. how is he dealing with being promoted from secretary to nº1 Henchman

[acaciapines]

i always forget how, like, raw, the opening of 17776 is....just the way you have to scroll for SO LONG, months and years passing by and nine's desperate loneliness and wanting and "i need you to know that i am getting good at being patient but i also need you to know that this is very hard." just. man. i dont think any other story has gripped me from the very start in this way. all the 'please answers.' how long it takes. god. god. 17776 i love you so much.

[not-the-coffee-machine4]

kind of insane that the people who were the most kind and supportive to the Garden Lodge boys after Freddie died were the actual band themselves and ELTON JOHN

[brutal-nemesis]

"writing this next chapter will be easy because i wrote most of it 3 years ago!" WRONG you have to put it in a blender and add a bunch of shit that didn't exist 3 years ago good fucking luck

i always feel like my writing is a big frankenstein project of stitched together parts but man this newest chapter is really very smash the vase and put it back together and now it says "I AM" instead of "AMI"

[crow-caller]

good angel turns 7 goddamn years old on the 22nd I'm going to lose my head. did you know bad end is 6.5 years old. Did you know Angel radio is 8.5. Did you know I'm 27. did you know time continues ceaselessly forward and so do i

[gifti3]

i wrote a really small thing related to this post! I've been getting back into OIs so i came up with this arranged marriage scenario in a Victorian setting for Asmo and MC and have been chewing on it for the past several days lol I think I'm gonna come up with more stuff for this later but I just wanted to post this for now φ(゜▽゜*)♪

The weather was nice out today so you decided to go for a walk around the estate garden and rest in a somewhat secluded spot. Unfortunately, someone had managed to find you. How did the two of you keep running into each other in place so vast?

"Sooo….." Asmodeus leans into your space to look at the pages of you book. "What are you reading?"

"…A book."

"…Well yea, but what is the book about?"

You hold back your sigh and answer instead. "It's just about something I took interest in recently…"

Asmo stares at you for a moment. "You know, I'm starting to realize something about you."

"You are?"

"Uh huh," he nods. "At first, I thought you were a cagey person, but you're just really socially awkward you know? You kind of remind me of one of my brothers."

You close your book without making note of the page you were on. "I'm going back inside. Goodbye."

"Wait, I didn't mean it in a bad way!"

You sigh. "Are you sure? Cause you've been pretty rude to me several times before. So I'm having a hard time believing that."

Asmodeus makes a face. "It was an observation?"

"Okay. Can you just…let me read please?" The request came out harsher than you intended but maybe you were feeling a little defensive.

So what if you were "awkward". You weren't expecting to talk to anyone when you came out here.

Asmodeus huffs and leans back on his hands. But he doesn't leave…. for some reason. Maybe he was bored?

You flip through your book trying to find what page you were on.

"Page seventy six."

You look over at Asmo who has already busied himself with inspecting his nails.

"Thanks."

[hayaku14]

i just thought of kaishin hugging and i almost cried

[hell0mega]

okay wait re: ur tags on foreshadowing ur talking abt john dies at the end right????? cuz if so i know EXACTLY what u mean ti was SO GOOD ive read that book a dozen times!!! (side note if u have never read the sequel you absolutely should, its an INCREDIBLE follow up!!!)

YES!!!!!!! i'm so glad someone caught it and knows what i'm talking about!! it's GREAT and tbfh so is Spiders! i haven't read the third one yet though cuz i'm the worst at reading lol but i've read jdate several times since 2011 and it's great every time