#i need to increase my vocabulary

[gnomewithalaptop]

Bro why are there so many suffixes in Kazakh what's happening

[midnight-rice]

Petition to bring back the archaic word "fere" as a gender neutral* term for a companion/mate/spouse. It has roots from the Old English word "gefera" roughly meaning "one who goes with another" and is pronounced "feer" which sounds like "Dear" which is already a term of endearment and is homophonous with "fear" so you can sound like an oxymoronic gay vampire or smth ("Hello my Fere >:)")

*the word "fere" was gender-neutral in English but has evolved into male-gendered words like "fuhrer" and "frere" in German and French respectively

[geyserdemo]

🎧! also i accidentally opened your messages while sending this ask and according to tumblr you post about “hm and well”

hm, well.

ive only had this blog for like a month so that's like... really what i say on here huh, such riveting insight i have on matters <3 hope all my dear mutuals enjoy my contributions in the notes :) anyways! song 4 u my dear!

The Swimming Song - Loudon Wainwright III

"This summer I swam in the ocean

And I swam in a swimming pool

Salt my wounds, chlorine my eyes

I'm a self-destructive fool"

I'm a self-destructive fool

[misskamelie]

Decided to believe my listening comprehension is improving by being able to somewhat follow a radio podcast on a topic I know something about

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Dirty words are politically potent

On OCTOBER 23 at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.

Making up words is a perfectly cromulent passtime, and while most of the words we coin disappear as soon as they fall from our lips, every now and again, you find a word that fits so nice and kentucky in the public discourse that it acquires a life of its own:

http://meaningofliff.free.fr/definition.php3?word=Kentucky

I've been trying to increase the salience of digital human rights in the public imagination for a quarter of a century, starting with the campaign to get people to appreciate that the internet matters, and that tech policy isn't just the delusion that the governance of spaces where sad nerds argue about Star Trek is somehow relevant to human thriving:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2010/10/04/small-change-malcolm-gladwell

Now, eventually people figured out that a) the internet mattered and, b) it was going dreadfully wrong. So my job changed again, from "how the internet is governed matters" to "you can't fix the internet with wishful thinking," for example, when people said we could solve its problems by banning general purpose computers:

https://memex.craphound.com/2012/01/10/lockdown-the-coming-war-on-general-purpose-computing/

Or by banning working cryptography:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/09/04/oh-for-fucks-sake-not-this-fucking-bullshit-again-cryptography-edition/

Or by redesigning web browsers to treat their owners as threats:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2017/09/open-letter-w3c-director-ceo-team-and-membership

Or by using bots to filter every public utterance to ensure that they don't infringe copyright:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/09/today-europe-lost-internet-now-we-fight-back

Or by forcing platforms to surveil and police their users' speech (aka "getting rid of Section 230"):

https://www.techdirt.com/2020/06/23/hello-youve-been-referred-here-because-youre-wrong-about-section-230-communications-decency-act/

Along the way, many of us have coined words in a bid to encapsulate the abstract, technical ideas at the core of these arguments. This isn't a vanity project! Creating a common vocabulary is a necessary precondition for having the substantive, vital debates we'll need to tackle the real, thorny issues raised by digital systems. So there's "free software," "open source," "filternet," "chat control," "back doors," and my own contributions, like "adversarial interoperability":

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

Or "Competitive Compatibility" ("comcom"), a less-intimidatingly technical term for the same thing:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/12/competitive-compatibility-year-review

These have all found their own niches, but nearly all of them are just that: niche. Some don't even rise to "niche": they're shibboleths, insider terms that confuse and intimidate normies and distract from the real fights with semantic ones, like whether it's "FOSS" or "FLOSS" or something else entirely:

https://opensource.stackexchange.com/questions/262/what-is-the-difference-between-foss-and-floss

But every now and again, you get a word that just kills. That brings me to "enshittification," a word I coined in 2022:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/28/enshittification/#relentless-payola

"Enshittification" took root in my hindbrain, rolling around and around, agglomerating lots of different thoughts and critiques I'd been making for years, crystallizing them into a coherent thesis:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

This kind of spontaneous crystallization is the dividend of doing lots of work in public, trying to take every half-formed thought and pin it down in public writing, something I've been doing for decades:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

After those first couple articles, "enshittification" raced around the internet. There's two reasons for this: first, "enshittification" is a naughty word that's fun to say. Journalists love getting to put "shit" in their copy:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/15/crosswords/linguistics-word-of-the-year.html

Radio journalists love to tweak the FCC with cheekily bleeped syllables in slightly dirty compound words:

https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm/projects/enshitification

And nothing enlivens an academic's day like getting to use a word like "enshittification" in a journal article (doubtless this also amuses the editors, peer-reviewers, copyeditors, typesetters, etc):

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=enshittification&btnG=&oq=ensh

That was where I started, too! The first time I used "enshittification" was in a throwaway bad-tempered rant about the decay of Tripadvisor into utter uselessness, which drew a small chorus of appreciative chuckles about the word:

https://twitter.com/doctorow/status/1550457808222552065

The word rattled around my mind for five months before attaching itself to my detailed theory of platform decay. But it was that detailed critique, coupled with a minor license to swear, that gave "enshittification" a life of its own. How do I know that the theory was as important as the swearing? Because the small wave of amusement that followed my first use of "enshittification" petered out in less than a day. It was only when I added the theory that the word took hold.

Likewise: how do I know that the theory needed to be blended with swearing to break out of the esoteric realm of tech policy debates (which the public had roundly ignored for more than two decades)? Well, because I spent two decades writing about this stuff without making anything like the dents that appeared once I added an Anglo-Saxon monosyllable to that critique.

Adding "enshittification" to the critique got me more column inches, a longer hearing, a more vibrant debate, than anything else I'd tried. First, Wired availed itself of the Creative Commons license on my second long-form article on the subject and reprinted it as a 4,200-word feature. I've been writing for Wired for more than thirty years and this is by far the longest thing I've published with them – a big, roomy, discursive piece that was run verbatim, with every one of my cherished darlings unmurdered.

That gave the word – and the whole critique, with all its spiky corners – a global airing, leading to more pickup and discussion. Eventually, the American Dialect Society named it their "Word of the Year" (and their "Tech Word of the Year"):

https://americandialect.org/2023-word-of-the-year-is-enshittification/

"Enshittification" turns out to be catnip for language nerds:

https://becauselanguage.com/90-enpoopification/#transcript-60

I've been dragged into (good natured) fights over the German, Spanish, French and Italian translations for the term. When I taped an NPR show before a live audience with ASL interpretation, I got to watch a Deaf fan politely inform the interpreter that she didn't need to finger-spell "enshittification," because it had already been given an ASL sign by the US Deaf community:

https://maximumfun.org/episodes/go-fact-yourself/ep-158-aida-rodriguez-cory-doctorow/

I gave a speech about enshittification in Berlin and published the transcript:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle/#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel

Which prompted the rock-ribbed Financial Times to get in touch with me and publish the speech – again, nearly verbatim – as a whopping 6,400 word feature in their weekend magazine:

https://www.ft.com/content/6fb1602d-a08b-4a8c-bac0-047b7d64aba5

Though they could have had it for free (just as Wired had), they insisted on paying me (very well, as it happens!), as did De Zeit:

https://www.zeit.de/digital/internet/2024-03/plattformen-facebook-google-internet-cory-doctorow

This was the start of the rise of enshittification. The word is spreading farther than ever, in ways that I have nothing to do with, along with the critique I hung on it. In other words, the bit of string that tech policy wonks have been pushing on for a quarter of a century is actually starting to move, and it's actually accelerating.

Despite this (or more likely because of it), there's a growing chorus of "concerned" people who say they like the critique but fret that it is being held back because you can't use it "at church or when talking to K-12 students" (my favorite variant: "I couldn't say this at a NATO conference"). I leave it up to you whether you use the word with your K-12 students, NATO generals, or fellow parishoners (though I assure you that all three groups are conversant with the dirty little word at the root of my coinage). If you don't want to use "enshittification," you can coin your own word – or just use one of the dozens of words that failed to gain public attention over the past 25 years (might I suggest "platform decay?").

What's so funny about all this pearl-clutching is that it comes from people who universally profess to have the intestinal fortitude to hear the word "enshittification" without experiencing psychological trauma, but worry that other people might not be so strong-minded. They continue to say this even as the most conservative officials in the most staid of exalted forums use the word without a hint of embarrassment, much less apology:

https://www.independent.ie/business/technology/chairman-of-irish-social-media-regulator-says-europe-should-not-be-seduced-by-mario-draghis-claims/a526530600.html

I mean, I'm giving a speech on enshittification next month at a conference where I'm opening for the Secretary General of the United Nations:

https://icanewdelhi2024.coop/welcome/pages/Programme

After spending half my life trying to get stuff like this into the discourse, I've developed some hard-won, informed views on how ideas succeed:

First: the minor obscenity is a feature, not a bug. The marriage of something long and serious to something short and funny is a happy one that makes both the word and the ideas better off than they'd be on their own. As Lenny Bruce wrote in his canonical work in the subject, the aptly named How to Talk Dirty and Influence People:

I want to help you if you have a dirty-word problem. There are none, and I'll spell it out logically to you.

Here is a toilet. Specifically-that's all we're concerned with, specifics-if I can tell you a dirty toilet joke, we must have a dirty toilet. That's what we're all talking about, a toilet. If we take this toilet and boil it and it's clean, I can never tell you specifically a dirty toilet joke about this toilet. I can tell you a dirty toilet joke in the Milner Hotel, or something like that, but this toilet is a clean toilet now. Obscenity is a human manifestation. This toilet has no central nervous system, no level of consciousness. It is not aware; it is a dumb toilet; it cannot be obscene; it's impossible. If it could be obscene, it could be cranky, it could be a Communist toilet, a traitorous toilet. It can do none of these things. This is a dirty toilet here.

Nobody can offend you by telling a dirty toilet story. They can offend you because it's trite; you've heard it many, many times.

https://www.dacapopress.com/titles/lenny-bruce/how-to-talk-dirty-and-influence-people/9780306825309/

Second: the fact that a neologism is sometimes decoupled from its theoretical underpinnings and is used colloquially is a feature, not a bug. Many people apply the term "enshittification" very loosely indeed, to mean "something that is bad," without bothering to learn – or apply – the theoretical framework. This is good. This is what it means for a term to enter the lexicon: it takes on a life of its own. If 10,000,000 people use "enshittification" loosely and inspire 10% of their number to look up the longer, more theoretical work I've done on it, that is one million normies who have been sucked into a discourse that used to live exclusively in the world of the most wonkish and obscure practitioners. The only way to maintain a precise, theoretically grounded use of a term is to confine its usage to a small group of largely irrelevant insiders. Policing the use of "enshittification" is worse than a self-limiting move – it would be a self-inflicted wound. As I said in that Berlin speech:

Enshittification names the problem and proposes a solution. It's not just a way to say 'things are getting worse' (though of course, it's fine with me if you want to use it that way. It's an English word. We don't have der Rat für englische Rechtschreibung. English is a free for all. Go nuts, meine Kerle).

Finally: "coinage" is both more – and less – than thinking of the word. After the American Dialect Society gave honors to "enshittification," a few people slid into my mentions with citations to "enshittification" that preceded my usage. I find this completely unsurprising, because English is such a slippery and playful tongue, because English speakers love to swear, and because infixing is such a fun way to swear (e.g. "unfuckingbelievable"). But of course, I hadn't encountered any of those other usages before I came up with the word independently, nor had any of those other usages spread appreciably beyond the speaker (it appears that each of the handful of predecessors to my usage represents an act of independent coinage).

If "coinage" was just a matter of thinking up the word, you could write a small python script that infixed the word "shit" into every syllable of every word in the OED, publish the resulting text file, and declare priority over all subsequent inventive swearers.

On the one hand, coinage takes place when the coiner a) independently invents a word; and b) creates the context for that word that causes it to escape from the coiner's immediate milieu and into the wider world.

But on the other hand – and far more importantly – the fact that a successful coinage requires popular uptake by people unknown to the coiner means that the coiner only ever plays a small role in the coinage. Yes, there would be no popularization without the coinage – but there would also be no coinage without the popularization. Words belong to groups of speakers, not individuals. Language is a cultural phenomenon, not an individual one.

Which is rather the point, isn't it? After a quarter of a century of being part of a community that fought tirelessly to get a serious and widespread consideration of tech policy underway, we're closer than ever, thanks, in part, to "enshittification." If someone else independently used that word before me, if some people use the word loosely, if the word makes some people uncomfortable, that's fine, provided that the word is doing what I want it to do, what I've devoted my life to doing.

The point of coining words isn't the pilkunnussija's obsession with precise usage, nor the petty glory of being known as a coiner, nor ensuring that NATO generals' virgin ears are protected from the word "shit" – a word that, incidentally, is also the root of "science":

https://www.arrantpedantry.com/2019/01/24/science-and-shit/

Isn't language fun?

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/14/pearl-clutching/#this-toilet-has-no-central-nervous-system

[rigelmejo]

Notes on my language levels:

Ignoring actual hours spent studying (because 1 I don't remember right now and don't want to calculate it, and 2 for Chinese and Japanese the level hour estimates would be much different... with 2200 hours as somewhere close to the 600-1000 hour estimate, and 1500 hours matching up to 4400 hours in Chinese or Japanese).

This is the level I, conservatively, think I'm at in the languages I'm studying.

Japanese: Between Level 3 (1,500 words - low level graded readers I've read like Tadoku readers, can understand easy learner podcasts like Nihongo Con Teppei, I don't rely exclusively on visual information, I can follow lessons with less visual cues like Intermediate videos on Comprehensible Japanese youtube channel), and Level 4 (3,000 words - understand a range of daily topics without visuals... I need some visuals but only the amount in actual places or a show, I do not need the visual cues of a teacher for daily topics, listening extensively to podcasts for learners would help, can handle graded readers). If I were to be generous, I'd say I'm close to Level 4 but I am not fully comfortable with daily conversation if there's zero visuals, and not fully comfortable with less easy learner podcasts.

My goal with Japanese is to hit Level 5 - 5,000 words known (which I HOPE Glossika gets me to). At that point I will understand podcasts for learners fairly well, and can listen to a lot of Nihongo Con Teppei and Yuyu no nihongo podcast. At that point easier TV shows and cartoons should be accessible (I can already watch Doraemon fine and understand fine, I'd like to be to the point where I can watch Sailor Moon, Ranma 1/2, and Inuyasha to learn a lot more new words just by watching, and rewatch shows I've seen in english to pick up new words - since I already know the context... and slice of life BL jdramas, which I am almost at the point of being able to do). Also, at that point harder graded readers like the stories on Satori Reader app should be doable.

So my plan right now is to: finish Glossika japanese then review for a month to get my vocabulary close to 5,000 words so I'm around Level 5, then listen to Nihongo Con Teppei and Yuyu no Nihongo Podcast (and maybe watch more Doraemon) to continue exposing myself to common words and hopefully picking up some more vocabulary, then when I feel ready begin to read-listen to stuff on Satori Reader and watch daily life romance jdramas and some anime I've seen before in English.

Chinese: Judging my level is a bit difficult, as I've been able to read novels in specific genres and watch shows in almost any topic for a while now. Let's put me at Level 6 for simplicity's sake, because I don't feel I'm at Level 7 (functionally done with formal studying) yet. Level 6 - 7,000 known words (which for a language like Japanese or Chinese, I am guessing may need to be to closer to 14,000 words since there's no cognates to rely on). My vocabulary estimate is 1787 "like a 15 year old in China" on ARealMe site, and on hsklevel.com my estimate is 12,500 words known, HSK 6 level vocabulary or TOCFL Band B.2 (which matches with my ability to read well). I can read stuff for teenager without looking any words up, and understand all plot and most details (like Daomubiji), when I read stuff for adults I can get through things without looking any words up but it's hit or miss as to whether I understand just the main idea and some details, or the main idea and almost all details (depends on the genre, author, unique word count, those sorts of things). In TV shows I know almost all words I see in subtitles unless I'm watching a genre I never watch (like very in depth legal-type or political genre or older wuxia and palace shows), and if I don't know a word it's usually clear in the context of a show so I guess it (which is what I do for genres I don't know as many words for).

"You can understand TV shows about daily life quite well (80 to 90%)." - I could do this a few years ago in Chinese, after around 1 year of studying. This statement is also true for me with all genres of shows, I always can understand at least the main idea even in unfamiliar show genres, which is probably at least 80% of the words given that visuals also help guess main idea plot. So I can watch shows easier than Level 6 estimates ability at this point. "You'll still want to read books that are targeted at elementary school children, although maybe you don't need to stick to the lower grades" - like with shows, I can read more difficult books than the Level 6 estimates ability at this point.

So I am maybe at some point between Level 6 and 7, and just continuing to read and listen is going to keep me improving. In Dreaming Spanish's levels, speaking is recommended at Level 6... I should practice trying to speak and write at some point... Specifically, I am listening to audiobooks right now (goal of 50 hours... just finishing 1 lol, then eventually 200 hours so 4 audiobooks), and continuing to read novels. Aiming to read 4 million words (then 11 million eventually), and I think I've only read 0.5 million so far (update: checked my last estimated word count and yes it was ~454,000 words, and I've read more since then, so I am at around 500,000 words read right now). So I'd like to read 3.5 million more words... that's around 35 cnovels if I pick webnovels around 100,000 words (a lot of webnovels are 50k-300k, with a lot that I like being 100k-150k so a goal to read 35 novels will probably get me to my goal). SCI Mystery is 495,422 words all on it's own (around another 0.5 million words). And even if we assume less words per characters, then it's equivalent to ~322,024 english words (at 650 english words to 1000 chinese characters conversion). Which is still over a quarter million words for 1 webnovel.

French: haha ha haaa. My Level is totally skewed, as I have a much weaker listening ability. I can follow an audiobook... if I have a transcript. I can read great (Level 7), I can watch videos for learners with some visual context and some abstract discussions like Comprehensible French youtube channel's B1 videos (Level 4 and Level 5). I cannot understand French shows much without subtitles (Level 5), but with subtitles they're understandable (Level 6). So I would say... my listening ability is between a Level 4 and Level 5, it would probably improve from: simply listening to more stuff for learners like Comprehensible French's B1 and B2 videos, and Ayan Academy's audio of Le Francais Par Le Methode Nature. If I listened more, I think my listening skill would get up to Level 5, and then from there I could watch French shows without subtitles, perhaps audiobooks with no transcript, and probably get my listening skill up to my reading skill with time. As for speaking... after some listening to stuff for learners, I'd be around Level 5 and probably should start practice speaking and writing...

Dreaming Spanish Levels - A good reference in general for progress milestones when studying X hours

I'm about to paste in the entire Levels Guide Dreaming Spanish has on their site, if you make an account and look at their levels. It's on this Progress page, when logged in. A less detailed version of the Levels can be found on the roadmap picture on this public Method page. I want to paste in the detailed levels descriptions, because I want to be able to reference them in my notes generally, when I'm not logged into Dreaming Spanish.

Level 1

Starting from zero.

Hours of input: 0

Known words: 0

Videos to watch: Superbeginner

What you can do: The sounds of the language sound weird to your ears. You can't tell many of those sounds apart from each other. When hearing the language, it’s hard for you to know when one word ends and when the next one begins. Even when you guess what a sentence means, many times you can’t guess at the meaning of the different parts. You can't say any words and be confident that a native speaker would understand you.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. The listening needs to be very comprehensible. The best materials are classes or videos where the teachers speak in the language, but make it easy to understand by using a lot of drawings, pictures, and gestures. Crosstalk is the most efficient activity that you can do, if you can find speakers of the language. Reading is not recommended until later on, especially if you care about having clear pronunciation. Practicing writing or speaking is not recommended yet.

What you are learning: You mostly learn individual nouns for concrete things: car, nose, elephant. Action verbs: walk, eat, sing. Adjectives for simple emotions and sensations: happy, scared, cold. Adjectives for physical properties: blue, tall, fat, beautiful. Interjections are the clearest words early on: Hey! Wow! Hi! You may learn the numbers early on, but this depends quite a lot on the kind of content you listen to.

Level 2

You know some common words.

Hours of input: 50

Known words: 300

Videos to watch: Beginner

What you can do: You understand some common words, even if you are not 100% sure how to pronounce them. You can now guess the meaning of some 2-word sentences, like "go home", or "eat cake". There are only a few words that you could produce yourself. For many words, you’re still not sure what sounds they’re made of.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. You are still best served with Crosstalk or classes or videos where the teacher(s) speak in a very comprehensible way. However, with a few words under your belt you are better prepared to make the most of that input. Those words will help you understand the rest of the input you are listening to. Reading not recommended yet.

What you are learning: More verbs, since nouns help you understand them. Still mostly nouns and verbs for concrete things. Many expressions are learned as a chunk. You don’t know what their parts mean yet. Grammar for basic sentence order. Many common function words will remain unclear for a long time.

Level 3

You can follow topics that are adapted for learners.

Hours of input: 150

Known words: 1,500

Videos to watch: Intermediate

What you can do: You can now understand people if they stay within certain topics. They still need to talk to you in a way that's appropriate for you, but you know many words, and you don’t rely exclusively on visual information. You still aren’t completely used to the sounds of the language. You have a good intuition for basic grammar, like sentence order. You can sometimes feel it when other learners make mistakes. It sounds wrong somehow. You can now say quite a few words and that will already be useful when traveling to the country.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. Now you can listen to videos or classes in which the teacher doesn't use as much visual input, and may even be able to take advantage of really easy audios and podcasts that are catered to learners at your level. Crosstalk is still the best way to spend your time. At this level it becomes easier than before to do crosstalk over the internet using video call software, so you won't need to find native speakers where you live anymore. Reading is still not recommended if you care about your final achievement in pronunciation, but it starts becoming possible to understand lower level graded readers.

What you are learning: Because you are starting to get used to what the language sounds like, and what kinds of sound combinations to expect, you start learning words faster, without needing to hear them so many times. You learn nouns faster and faster. Knowing a decent amount of nouns helps you also learn more adjectives. You start learning more abstract terms for feelings, appearance, and more abstract verbs: to need, to have to, to be good at, etc. You are now getting used to more complicated grammar faster.

Level 4 (purple-blue on the DS site)

You can understand a person speaking to you patiently.

Hours of input: 300

Known words: 3,000

Videos to watch: Intermediate

What you can do: You're at the intermediate level! You can understand a patient native speaker. You still miss some words, but the speaker can explain their meaning to you without resorting to translation. You can understand a range of daily topics without visual support like drawings or pictures. The sounds of the language are becoming clearer now, and you are getting used to how the sounds are likely to be combined. That helps with retaining new words. If you tried speaking at a store, you could get your point across most of the time, but you still struggle producing even some basic words. Making friends in the language is now possible, but you need to find people who are quite patient, because not everybody will want to make that effort. Depending on your tolerance for getting negative reactions, you may want to wait a bit longer before speaking.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. You can understand videos or classes in which the teacher doesn't use any visual cues, and can now benefit from listening extensively to audios and podcasts for learners everywhere you go, anytime you can. Crosstalk is still the best, most efficient way to improve. You can now make friends with whom you communicate only in the target language. While you will learn a lot when listening to people speak to you, speaking this early will invariably result in hard-to-fix non-native pronunciation, noticeably bad grammar, and poor word usage. If you really want to start having conversations with people it's recommended that you don't try to actively practice grammar or vocabulary, but rather speak in single words or simple sentences that come to mind easily. Reading is still not recommended if you care about your final achievement in pronunciation. By now you could understand slightly more difficult books, but still mostly just graded readers.

What you are learning: Surprisingly, in this phase you learn many common function words that are taught right at the beginning of most language courses. These words are used very frequently, but carry very little meaning. For example: the verb "to be" (or equivalent), prepositions (in, at, on), conjunctions (therefore, so, and), and even some pronouns. Once you become aware of a new word, you’ll encounter it everywhere. At this point you may start feeling that there are many more words that you don't know than words you do know. The exposure to less controlled speech allows you to notice many new words. Don't worry, you'll eventually also acquire those words the same way you acquired all the words you have learned until now. By this point you are full on acquiring all kinds of vocabulary, both concrete and abstract.

Level 5

You can understand native speakers speaking to you normally.

Hours of input: 600

Known words: 5,000

Videos to watch: Intermediate/advanced

What you can do: You can understand people well when they speak directly to you. They��won’t need to adapt their speech for you. Understanding a conversation between native speakers is still hard. You’ll almost understand TV programs in the language, because you understand so many of the words, but they are still hard enough to leave you frustrated or bored. Conversation can be tiresome, and if you try to speak you can feel a bit like a child, since it will be hard to express abstract concepts and complex thoughts. You understand most of the words used during daily conversation, but you still can’t use many yourself. If you try to speak the language, it will feel like you are missing many important words. However, you can, often, already speak with the correct intonation patterns of the language, without knowing why, and even make a distinction between similar sounds in the language when you say them out loud.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. You'll be able to understand more advanced materials for learners. Listen to audios and podcasts daily if you want to learn fast. Crosstalk is still as good as always. You may start feeling you are not getting much out of getting input about daily life topics. Try getting input about new topics. Easier TV programs and cartoons should be accessible too. The purists who want to get really close to a native speaker and get a really good accent may still want to hold off on speaking and reading for a little more, but if you do start speaking and reading it's not a big deal by this point. You'll still end up with better pronunciation and fluency than the vast majority of learners. If you want to start reading, by this point you'll be able to understand books targeted at children of lower grade levels, and you can skip over graded readers. If you start reading, try setting every gadget you own (PC, phone, Google and Facebook settings, etc.) to the target language, and following speakers of the language on social media.

What you are learning: This level can feel frustratingly similar to the previous one. You will still feel that there are many more words that you don't know than words you do know. You'll now feel many more instances of finally understanding that word that you have been hearing since forever. It may feel like these words are infinite, but no! Continue doing what you are doing and you'll little by little fill in all the missing gaps. For some words, you’ll even wonder why you hadn’t learned such a basic word yet. Learning abstract words (democracy, absence, patience) will be your bread and butter, as will be learning more and more grammatical connectors. At this level you’ll mostly finish up the grammar and the different sentence types. While still not being able to make the most complex sentences yourself, you’ll become able to understand almost every type of sentence.

Level 6 (green-blue on the site)

You are comfortable with daily conversation.

Hours of input: 1,000

Known words: 7,000

Videos to watch: Advanced

What you can do: You can really have fun with the language at this point. You are conversationally fluent for daily purposes of living in the country and you can get by at the bank, at the hospital, at the post office, or looking for an apartment to rent. In spite of that odd word that is not quite there when you need it, you can always manage to get your point across in one way or another, and by now you are already making complex longer phrases. At this level, for the first time, you start feeling like you are actually thinking about what you want to say, and not about how you want to say it, even though you may fall back on thinking about how you say things, especially in stressful situations or when feeling self-conscious. Using humor in the language is much easier now. You can understand TV shows about daily life quite well (80 to 90%). Shows about families, friends, etc. Unscripted shows will usually also be easier to understand than scripted shows, as long as they are not too chaotic or rely too much on cultural knowledge. Thrillers and other genres will still be hard.

What you need to do: Listen and read A LOT. It's also a good idea to get massive input in authentic media, be it TV, podcasts, radio, movies, etc. If you can't find a lot of easy media in the target language, you may find that videos and audios for learners are still more efficient for acquiring new vocabulary until you get a bit better. If your target language has many common words with a language you already know you may be able to understand quite well things like TED talks and university lectures. Lots of reading is also recommended if you want to be literate and if you care about reading. You'll still want to read books that are targeted at elementary school children, although maybe you don't need to stick to the lower grades. Nonfiction will often be much easier to understand than fiction. By this point, speaking and reading are completely unrestricted, and it's really encouraged to make friends in the language. If you live in the country, join as many social activities as you can. Live in a shared apartment, go to bars, join dance classes, a sports team, anything! Set your PC, phone, and all your online profiles to your target language. Make a list of daily things you do in your own language, and find alternatives to do them in your target language.

What you are learning: You may find the odd common word that you haven't learned yet, but by now your known vocabulary pretty much covers everything that you will usually want to say during everyday conversation. If you make friends and have real conversations, or watch certain TV shows, you will now be learning a lot of slang. By now, your knowledge will cover most sentence structures and grammatical words, so you will rarely learn these anymore, unless they are specific to certain registers of the language. You will mostly learn specific vocabulary used in formal speech or in writing. Most words that you learn now will be words that are used in more formal registers of speech like in the news, words used in formal writing, literary writing, or technical terms used in the specific fields that you are interested in: politics, technology, science, or 13th century woodblock prints. If your language doesn’t share a lot of its specialized vocabulary with your new language, you may still have to work on this for a long while.

Level 7

You can use the language effectively for all practical purposes.

Hours of input: 1,500

Known words: 12,000+

Videos to watch: Advanced

What you can do: You can understand any general content effortlessly, including newspapers, novels, and all types of TV shows and movies. You might still struggle with technical texts in unfamiliar fields, heavy regional slang, and shows with intricate plots. You speak fluently and effortlessly, without thinking about the language. While native speakers might still detect a slight accent, your clarity and fluidity make your speech easy to understand, and no one considers you a learner anymore. You may still make some mistakes, or miss a specific word here and there, but it doesn’t hinder you from being an effective member of society.

What you need to do: Listen and read A LOT. Add variety to what you read and listen to. By this point it's easy to find media in the target language that you understand very well, but it's also easy to get comfortable and not seek new challenges. If you want to continue improving, simply do things that you have never done before. Try reading a book by a new author, try watching a show about a topic that you're unfamiliar with (about space, about the Middle Ages, about lawyers, etc). If you live in the country, try joining activities that are new to you: a sports team, an improv group, comedy nights, etc.

What you are learning: You will continue learning slang, and learning about the culture, and that will allow you to understand more and more cultural references. You can explore other regional dialects of the language, ancient literary versions of the language, or vocabulary in other technical or scientific fields that you may want to learn about. You will still encounter new idioms and proverbs, but they will almost always be clear from the context. And of course, you can start learning your next language!

[alphajocklover]

Hey ! Recently, I've heard about a guy in my college, a young jock fresh from high school, that honestly acts very weirdly.

Apparently, his friends all went to local universities, while he moved all the way out to the capital, apparently in a bid to get some "elite" education. But that's not really weird, isn't it.

No, the weird thing starts at how he already acts like he's the king of uni, belittling everyone, including those like me who have been here for quite a few years, acting and even stating that he is the "alpha" of our department - as if such an outdated and so obviously false way of classifying people was even remotely correct. But then, he just goes around stating that he needs some "betas". Now, while I can imagine what they must be, those "yes-men" you see in movies accompanying the bully, I can't even begin to see how he wants to bring that to real life ! Especially since he's not in high school anymore !

Well, whatever. The real thing that creeps me out is how he seems to hang out near me weirdly often... Should that be cause for concern ?

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. I’ve only just seen your message. Hopefully there's still enough time for me to warn you. What you’ve met isn’t human. Not exactly. He’s… more.

Most teenage boys go through puberty with drastic changes. They shoot up, gain a bit of hair and possibly some muscle. Their voice deepens, and of course they get some��� urges. It’s all very natural. But some teenage boys undergo a… startling transformation. They don’t just shoot up, they tower. They don’t gain a bit of hair, they grow bushes of it. Some shave it so that they can better show off their muscles, but most don’t. Muscle isn’t just possible for them, it’s inevitable. They’re bodies become beefy and hard, even without exercise, though most still become obsessed with lifting weights and getting even bigger. But what sets these boys, or rather these men, apart from the rest most are their urges. They don’t just feel the need to cum like most guys. They get the urge to dominate. The urge to show their power. The urge to fuck.

These men are what’s known as Alphas. And no, that’s not just some arbitrary classification. This isn’t some guy calling himself an alpha male because he’s an insecure Andrew Tate obsessed bitch. What you are dealing with is a real fucking Alpha. Once they were normal people like you or me, but something… awakened in them at some point. Usually during puberty, as I showed before, but it’s not impossible to have an Alpha discover his true self later in life. These men, if they can be called mere men, are bigger, stronger, more dominant than the average man. Much more dominant. So much so that the world seems to… bend to their will. I don’t know how they do it. Maybe they have some sort of special pheromones, or magic powers. But what I do know is when they want something, it just happens. If they want to be good at something, they just are. If they want to win at something, they just do. If they want the world, it’s served up to them on a silver platter with a protein shake.

And if they want you to be their Beta, you will be their Beta.

I’m not kidding. They can just.. change people. You’ve probably already seen some symptoms, in you and your friends. A sudden interest in fitness, in sports, in ‘bro culture.’ A strange growth spurt, the kind that really shouldn’t happen after puberty. An increased libido, a simpler vocabulary. And most of all, a great admiration for your Alpha. Not just admiration, a deep love. A need to do what he says, be what he says. Once those feelings start it’ll be too late to save you. Soon you’ll be nothing more than his Beta. Everything about you will revolve around what they want.

It’s not the worst fate in the world. Most people think that if a horny Alpha could do whatever they want to you, you’d end up a brainless sex doll. But more often than not what they really want is a bro. Or, more accurately, they want bros. Alphas are so competitive that they rarely are able to spend extended periods of time together. It’s like having two leaders of a pack. Eventually they end up locking horns. So they find, or rather make, Beta bros for them to hang out with. Big, but not as big as their Alpha. Sexy, but not hot enough to take any pussy away from the Alpha. Cool but not cool enough to take any attention away from the Alpha. There are some differences based on what the Alpha wants. Some Betas are stoners, some are jocks, some are surfers and some are skaters. It all depends on the Alphas personal aesthetic and taste. But Betas are all muscular, horny, hung, and completely subservient to their Alphas.

If you’re lucky, you can get out. Move somewhere far away, and forget about all of this. If you’re lucky the Alpha won’t care enough to go after you. You can keep your identity and sense of self intact.

But if you’re not lucky? If you’re too far under his influence? If your Alpha has taken a liking to you and won’t let you go? Well…

… be grateful you’re his Beta bro and not his Beta bitch.

**3 post in 2 days! I feel like I’m on fire! Guess I’m just very motivated to write recently. Anyways I hope you guys liked this one! Hope mentioning Andrew Tate wasn’t too political. I hate to let irl politics ruin my online fun. Enjoy!**

[mariasont]

Our Minds Entwined-----------------------

ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9

MDNI----------------------------------------------------------------

pairings: aaron hotchner x oc x spencer reid

summary: in which jason gideon's daughter joins the fbi as the newest, brightest member

warnings: implied smut, evelyn annoying the fuck out of hotch

Chapter Eight:

The coffee machine gurgled in the quiet of the break room as Evelyn filled her cup, her hands carefully cradling her favorite pink mug as the steam raised in delicate swirls. The rich aroma of the freshly brewed substance wafted through the air, Evelyn was moments from savoring her first sip when Spencer made his entrance. 

He moved with an awkward grace, his lean frame wrapped in a sweater, the morning light casting a scholarly glow on his thoughtful expression. Evelyn took a moment, as she often did, to admire the earnest curiosity etched into his features. She pivoted gracefully, a playful glint in her eye, the corners crinkling in silent laughter.

"Morning, Dr. Reid," she chimed. "Joining me for the most important meal of the day?"

Spencer offered a small, hesitant grin, casting a wary glance over his shoulder as if anticipating an unwelcome audience. When he turned back, finding the coast clear, his gaze couldn't help but sweep over her, a slow, involuntary trail from her eyes down to her heels and back up again.

"Did you know caffeine can actually increase cortisol levels?" Spencer inquired, his tone shifting to that of a lecturer as he warmed to the subject. "Cortisol is secreted by the adrenal glands and plays a critical role in regulating various bodily functions. While it's essential for survival, elevated cortisol over prolonged periods can lead to a host of issues. So, while that cup of coffee might seem like a good idea, it's worth considering the potential endocrine implications."

Evelyn closed the distance between them with a playful step, her eyes gleaming. "I love when you talk nerdy to me, Dr. Reid," she started. "But if you deprive me of my morning coffee, I won't be the only ones suffering the consequences."

Spencer's hand reaches out, almost involuntarily giving Evelyn's ass a quick, teasing tap. She arched an eyebrow, her lips curving into a feigned expression of shock. 

"In the workplace, Dr. Reid?" Evelyn chided, her voice laced with mock scandal.

Spencer's chuckle was a soft counterpart to the florescent hum of the break room. Evelyn stood there, the light catching the subtle highlights in her hair, her smartly tailored suit accentuating her figure.

"Speaking of which, and presuming your neurons are adequately myelinated for the day, how about those ground rules?" Spencer's question came with a half-smile.

"I'm going to pretend for a second that myelinated is part of my daily vocabulary," Evelyn retorted with a playful roll of her eyes. "Upstairs is all clear," she tapped her temple for emphasis before taking another step towards the genius, "but after last night, I can't say the same for downstairs."

Spencer cleared his throat, a faint blush creeping up his neck as memories of the previous night flickered through his mind. "Don't start with me."

"Me? Start with you? Never," she said, her eyes dancing with humor. "But in all seriousness. This," she gestured between them, "stays between us. We can't do anything here."

She straightened up, her expression mock serious. "I'm already juggling enough with these legacy rumors. If I start adding 'sleeping with my mentor' to my resume, I'll need to write a survival guide."

Spencer's response was quick. "I can do that," he said, his eyes accusing. "As long as you behave."

"I'm always on my best behavior, sir," she declared with a sly smile, her voice trailing off as she sauntered out of the break room, "my place or yours tonight?"

Spencer's hand instinctively went to the bridge of his nose, squeezing gently as if to ward off an impending headache, the universal gesture of a man both charmed and utterly undone by the woman before him.

--

The tech lab was alive with whirring machines and the subtle glow of displays. Evelyn glided into the room, her steps light and her grin spreading. 

The hum of computers and the soft glow of screens set the backdrop as Evelyn breezed into the tech lab, her steps light and her smile wide. She found Garcia, the queen of all things digital, her dominion sprawling before her in an array of flickering pixels and streaming data.

"Hey, P! Need your magic fingers to trace a number for me. And maybe sprinkle a little of that fairy dust to make the results come faster." Evelyn says with a lighthearted twinkle.

With a flourish, Garcia twirled in her chair, her clothes a riot of color that defied that room's monochrome sterility. She peered at Evelyn over the top of her pink-rimmed glasses, her lips curling into a knowing smirk.

"Sweetie, you're radiating more energy than my entire tech setup. What's got you bouncing off the walls? Extra shot of your coffee or just high on life?" Penlope questioned, her voice laced with humor as she watched Evelyn practically vibrating through the room.

"What? No, I'm not. It's just a good day, that's all," Evelyn laughed, the sound bubbling up effortlessly.

Garcia tilted forward, a teasing glint in her gaze. "Uh-huh. You can't fool me, Miss Sunshine. You've got that 'I just got laid' glow," she pushed, "spill it. Who's the lucky guy?"

"Garcia, quit it," she giggled, brushing off the insinuation with a wave of her hand. "There's no guy. Just... work stuff, you know?"

But Garcia remained skeptical, playfully wagging a finger bedecked with a glittering ring. "Oh, come on! You've got that look. The one that says, 'I did not get my eight hours, but boy, was it worth it.'"

Laughter spilled from Evelyn, a rich sound that reverberated against the walls. "Seriously, Penelope, drop it. I'm just happy. Can't a girl have a good day without an interrogation?"

Garcia shot her a knowing glance, but she conceded with an exaggerated sigh. "Alright, alright. I'll let you off the hook... for now. But I've got my eye on you. Now what's this number you need traced?"

Evelyn passed a slip of paper across the table, her grin unwavering. She offered a swift thanks and retreated to the bustling bullpen. 

Evelyn's desk was a splash of color in the otherwise muted tones of the bullpen. Pink post-its fluttered like flags, each scrawled with affirmations and tiny tributes to her teammates. Amidst this cheerful chaos, Hotch stood, his hands clasped behind him as he surveyed the landscape of girlish whimsy.

At the sight, Evelyn's steps hastened, she darted forward to intercept his gaze, positioning herself squarely before him. "Hotch, sir, hi! Can I help you with something?"

Hotch met her gaze, his eyebrow lifted in mild inquiry, the shadow of a smile on his face. "I was looking for the Simmons report. You were supposed to turn in it yesterday." He tried to peer around her, amusement flickering in his eyes at the sight of her cluttered workspace. 

His eyes settled on the pen holder, an extravagant display of sparkle and faux gems. He remarked with dry wit, "Does that... fit the bureau's decor standards?"

Evelyn's smile was unapologetic as she shrugged lightly. "Mm, probably not. But it brightens up the place don't you think?" She rifled through the stack of papers, her face a canvas of sheepish charm. "About that report... I, uh, totally forgot. But it will be done, pinky promise."

She extended her pinky towards him. Hotch regarded the small gesture, his features betraying no reaction. A smile played at the corners of his mouth, but his stance was unwavering. "I'm not going to do that," he declared, eyes flicking to her upheld finger. "I expect the report on my desk by the end of the day."

Evelyn snapped to attention, grin never faltering. "Aye, aye, captain," she chimed cheerfully. "You'll have it before you can say 'bureaucracy'."

With a parting nod, he moved back to his office. In the corner, Morgan, JJ, and Prentiss stood in a tight knot, their quiet conversation floating in the air near the water cooler. 

"There's no way," Morgan asserted, his head moving in a firm denial, his eyes reflecting staunch disbelief.

"I told you soooo," Prentiss crooned, her voice dripping in smug satisfaction.

"Huh?" Evelyn's question hung in the air as she swiveled towards the group, her eyebrow arching in a silent demand for clarity. "What are you talking about?" 

"There's an ongoing bet to see how long it'll take you to really get in trouble with Hotch," JJ confesses, her grin spreading as she looked towards the other.

Evelyn's voice rose in protest. "What? I do get in trouble!" she insisted. "Did you not just see that? Or when I went rogue on my first takedown?"

Prentiss let out a soft chuckle, her eyes meeting Morgan's knowingly. "Please that was 'Evie trouble.' It's like being scolded by a teddy bear."

"And what does that even mean?" Evelyn asked, her laughter rising through the room as she shook her head.

"Baby girl, your definition of trouble with Hotch is a lot different than ours," Morgan said with a playful wag of his finger. "You barely get a slap on the wrist, while we'd get the whole paddle," he teased.

"That is so not true!" Evelyn's giggle bubbled up uncontrollably, her shoulders bouncing with each note of disbelief. She playfully rolled her eyes, dismissing the notion with a shake of her head.

As if summoned by the very topic, Rossi and Reid appeared in the doorway. They caught the end of the conversation and, with impeccable timing, chimed in together, "It's true."

"If I forgot my paperwork, I'm pretty sure I'd be relegated to coffee duty for a month--minimum," Spencer said as he gave a small, resigned shrug. 

"I'll have you know, I can get into trouble," she declared, puffing up in feigned offense. "I'm always getting under Hotch's skin."

Skepticism was written all over their faces, each look a playful jab at the very ideas. "Oh, we're sure you're a regular rebel," Morgan said, his tone heavy with irony.

"Yeah, right. They day you get a real scolding is the day I'll dye my hair pink," Prentiss declared, her laughter softening the edges of her sarcasm.

"And I'll wear a feather boa to work," Rossi added, the twinkle in his eyes suggesting he found the image as ludicrous as it sounded. 

"Statistically speaking, Evelyn, the probability of you inciting Hotch's ire is remarkably low," Spencer articulated, his brows furrowing in thought. "Considering the standard deviation of workplace interactions, it's more probably likely for an asteroid to graze our atmosphere."

Evelyn rolls her eyes, taking their words as a challenge. "We'll see about that."

Noon struck, and with it, a cast of golden rays pierced through the blinds of Hotch's office, painting the surfaces with a light hue of daylight. Evelyn, her arms cradling a stack of tardy documents, sauntered into the room. Her hair, a cascade of chestnut waves, framed her face, and her eyes, sharp as flint, scanned the room.

"Special delivery!" The announcement echoed off the walls, as Evelyn, framed by the doorway, held the papers aloft like a trophy. "The prodigal paperwork returns." Her smile was a bright flash in the subdued light.

The click of the mouse ceased as Hotch's gaze lifted slowly from the computer, his face betraying nothing of his thoughts. "Thank you, Evelyn," he uttered, each word measured. "I was beginning to think it had gone into witness protection."

The room was filled with the sound of Evelyn's giggle as she perched against the doorframe. Her smirk was a playful twist of her full, rose-tinted lips. "Oh, you know me. I like to keep things interesting. Life's too short for bureaucracy. "

Hotch's fingers moved methodically through the stack, each page turning with a crisp snap. His eyes, sharp and calculating, never strayed as he spoke. "Interesting isn't quite the Bureau's motto. We prefer efficiency."

"And yet, here I am, brightening your day with my inefficiency," she teased.

The folder landed softly on the desk as Hotch straightened, his gaze piercing as it met Evelyn's. "Evelyn, is there something else you needed?"

"Just checking on my favorite unit chief," she declared with a shrug, "making sure you're not bored under a mountain of dullness."

Hotch's eyes took on a sharper focus, an almost accusatory gaze. "I'm quite capable of digging myself out, thank you," he stated, the hint of a smile lurking beneath his serious expression. "Now, if there's nothing else, I have work to do."

Evelyn's smirk was unwavering, a silent ally as she acknowledged his words with a graceful nod. "Of course, sir. Duty calls."

--

The bullpen thrummed with life, agents weaving through the maze of desks, papers shuffled, and phones rang, the air buzzing with the collective focus. Evelyn's presence was a silent counterpoint, a different mission in mind. Her fingers sifted across the documents in front of her. With a feigned slip of the hand, she accidentally exchanged the contents of two folders. As she handed Hotch the Thompson report, masquerading as the Henderson case, she could barely contain her amusement.

Evelyn glanced up at Hotch with feigned surprise, her eyes wide with mock innocence. "Oh, did those get mixed up? That's totally on me," she said, her voice dripping with faux contrition as she sat perched on the edge of her chair.

Hotch's hand clasped around the correct folder, his gaze drifting across Evelyn's features, a wordless pause hanging in the air. It was a look that lingered just a beat too long before he finally looked away.

With a serene composure, Hotch handed back the folder, his words deliberate and clear. "Please double-check your work in the future." 

"Absolutely, won't happen again, sir," Evelyn responded.

Watching Hotch disappear behind his office door, Prentiss and JJ, couldn't help but shake their heads. "You are playing with fire."

With a playful toss of her hair, Evelyn responded, "It's what I do best." Her wink sailed across the room to the women as she swiveled back to her desk.

Later, she sent Hotch on a wild goose chase for a non-existent file. Hotch reappeared, the absence of the file evident in his empty hands and the slight crease of annoyance on his brow. His irritation was barely veiled by his professional composure and the sight stirred a warmth across her cheeks and spread through her. It was as if the air had thickened, her body responding with a clench of her thighs. 

Evelyn snapped her attention back to her task, letting out an exaggerated gasp, her eyes widening with feigned realization.

Evelyn's eyes lifted to meet Hotch's, a flutter of her lashes accentuating her apology. "Oh, my mistake. It's actually for next week's briefing. My apologies, sir."

A collective gaze tracked Hotch, the team's faces etched with a blend admiration and disbelief at the boldness. Hotch's head shook slightly as he closed the door behind him. 

With a subtle lean, Morgan caught Rossi's attention, a smirk playing on his lips. "You seeing this, Rossi?" he asked, his voice low, carrying the weight of disbelief.

"Hard to miss," Rossi mused, "she's got guts, I'll give her that," he admitted, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a half-smile, "but she's doing a great job of proving our point."

"Hey," Evelyn's whisper was a soft accusation, a conspiratorial murmur that barely reached between the three of them. "Just you wait, I've got more up my sleeve."

With a gentle head shake that sent his curls swaying, Spencer loomed over her desk. "At this rate," he said, looking down at her with an amused glint in his eye, "you're going to need your own section in the employee handbook."

--

The bullpen fell into an abrupt hush, the agents' heads turning as Hotch's commanding tone sliced through the idle banter. Without missing a beat, he looked eyes with Evelyn. "Gideon, my office. Now."

The team's eyes flickered from one to another, the collective oooh sounding more like a drawn-out sigh as Evelyn got to her feet. The air seemed to still as she offered a nod, her face the picture of innocence. With a gentle tilt of her head, she responded sweetly. "Of course, sir."

Hotch stood behind his desk, the stern set of his jaw softening despite his best efforts. His words came with struggle, weighted with disappointment rather than anger. "This isn't like you, Evelyn. Misplacing evidence is a serious offense."

With eyes wide and innocent, Evelyn held her poise, her hands neatly folded in front of her. "I'm so sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

The room felt smaller as Hotch sighed, his authoritative demeanor dissolving into a softer, more approachable one. His voice lowered, tinged with an unexpected warmth. "What's going on with you today?"

"Hotch," Evelyn burst out, the playful strain in her voice belying the seriousness of her words. "I've been an absolute terror today--don't I deserve a better scolding that that? Everyone thinks you go easy on me."

Hotch's eyes sharpened, the hint of annoyance seeping through his demeanor. "So that's what this has been about? You've been testing my patience all day because of what--some office wager?"

Evelyn watched, a spark of mischief in her eyes as Hotch's composure began to fray. The fabric of his suit jacket tensed, subtly outlining the firm set of his shoulders. His jaw worked silently, a clear sign of his growing irritation, a detail she found inexplicably enthralling. 

"See, right there!" she exclaimed, her finger jabbing the air with theatrical emphasis. "That's what I'm talking about--that's the look!"

A barely perceptible quirk of his lips betrayed him. "You're unbelievable."

Evelyn's eyes sparkled with sheer desperation shimmering within. "Hotch, can you please--pretty please--pretend to yell at me? I need to win this bet."

"At this point, Evelyn, I don't think I need to pretend."

She offered him a pout, her lower lip protruding just so, a silent plea.

He exhaled a deep sigh, a reluctant white flag. "Fine. Shut the door."

"Thank you, thank you!" Evelyn sang out, her mind already racing ahead. "Oh, wait, I need to look scared, right?" She whirled around, her hand hovering over the door handle as she caught the team's collective gaze, wide and expectant, peering through the blinds.

Hotch positioned himself with his back to the window, his silhouette casting a commanding shadow across the room. With a flourish, he gestured towards the scattered paperwork on his desk, his voice booming just enough to be heard through the glass.

Evelyn's lip caught between her teeth, an effort to rein in the giggles that bubbled over. Her shoulders trembled, betraying her struggle as she dipped her head, a strategic move to conceal from the curious glances beyond the glass.

"Evelyn, you're terrible at this."

"I-I know, I'm sorry," she sputtered between fits of laughter. "But I think they bought it."

"I doubt it."

"You're the best boss ever, Hotch," Evelyn beamed.

Hotch's head gave a slow shake, the barest hint of a smile playing at the edges of his mouth.

"Too much if I cry on the way out?" she teased, feigning distress as she inched towards the door.

"Just go, Agent."

--

The day was winding down with the low hum of the office, Evelyn glided through the bullpen, her smirk as loud as the click of her heels. She tossed a bag onto Prentiss's desk, the contents clicking softly. The bag, clear and plastic, revealed the pink hair dye inside.

Evelyn leaned closer, the bag crinkling between them. "For your new look, Em," she teased with a wink. "I want to see a brand-new you by tomorrow."

Prentiss examined the dye, eyebrow raised in playful defiance. "Dream on, Evie," she chuckled. "This going in your Secret Santa gift."

Next the feather boa found its new home around Rossi's neck, courtesy of Evelyn's hands. "This is non-negotiable, Rossi," she declared. "Your suit needs a touch of pizzazz."

"But let's be real, Evie," Morgan chuckled. "You didn't really win the bet, did you?"

Evelyn gasped, her hand flying to her chest. "Whaaaatt?" she uttered. "I have absolutely no idea what you're implying."

"Oh, come on," Emily scoffed, "we all know what Hotch looks like when he's chewing someone out. And that, my friend, was a performance worthy of an Oscar."

Evelyn's eyes widened, her act faltering under the team's knowing looks. "Oh! You know, I-I totally forgot, I have that thing I was totally supposed to do."

--

Evelyn was in her own world, surrounded by the familiar end-of-day bustle. As she slid her laptop into its case, her phone chimed--her eyes lit up, a smile curving subtly as she read the message from Spencer: My place. 8 pm.

Evelyn's gaze lifted, catching Spencer's eye across the room, a knowing look shared between them. She typed her response with haste: I'll be there. No sooner had she done so than Hotch's voice sliced through the buzz of the office. "Evelyn, my office."

She breezed in, her retort poised on her lips. "You didn't call me in here to actually yell at me, did you? Because, despite popular belief, I'm about as good with confrontation as a cat is with a bathtub. I'd probably start crying, it'd be this whole thing, and--"

"Evelyn." Hotch's voice was firm, a verbal full stop that demanded attention.

"Right. What's up?"

"Miami. Next week. A conference on behavior analysis," he began. "I want you there, presenting your research on the correlation between language patterns and criminal behavior."

"A paid trip to the beach? Count me in!" Evelyn squealed.

Hotch's reply came as a dry gust. "This is a business trip, Evelyn. Not a vacation."

She nodded, her grin undiminished. "Sorry, what? My mind's already sunbathing in Miami," she teased, twirling on her heel.

"Oh, and Evelyn?"

"Mhm?"

"The team's right," he confessed. "Don't let it go to your head."

next

taglist: @nonamevenus@aceofspades190

[imaginariumwanderer]

So I finished the latest story...

This is pretty horrifying from a cookie's perspective. One of cookiekind's main forms of happiness is their ability to express their various colorful flavors/personality. I suppose it's the same thing as tripping a living human of their sentient and individuality. Ego death. Leaving behind hollow flesh

We be committing unspeakable crimes against nature with this one✨

We be crumbling our colleagues while slowly losing our mind with this one✨

On another note, "eyecing" make its glorious return. I have no memory of it being used before the Mystic Flour update. Can anyone point out the other times it was used, if there's any?

????!!!!! OMG HIIII

MORE CJ PAWLIKOWSKI VOICE ACTING YES YES YES

Don't do it, don't give me hope...

I know he's the last to be released u don't need to tease me like that

So the other-space here clearly refer to the Dark side of the Moon, right? Is there any other-space I don't know about? Also, I guess this confirmed Shadow Milk is the only one able to do this astral projection thing. On one hand, it increases his chance of appearing a bit more before his own update, on the other hand, we most likely won't see the other Beasts having any talking-role any time soon

The implications here...

So the Beasts may likely have their own voices of their Light just like the Ancients does. And "Soul Jam"... Without an (s), Shadow Milk is specifically referring to his Soul Jam here, I can't believe my headcanon of the Light of Deceit/Knowledge whispering things to him is becoming true

It's a thing unique to Shadow Milk and not the other Beasts too. Interesting how both the voices of the Light of Truth and Deceit operate differently from the other Lights' (referring to the theory that the Light of Truth have never make an actual appearance since all instances of it in-game were all Shadow Milk's disguise)

... Clownage. Whelp! time to integrate that into my daily vocabulary!

Alright, so we got confirmation Smilk is not only aware of Dark Enchantress' plans but he's actively helping her out. Whenever he's oblivious to her other, secret plans (stealing the Beasts' Soul Jams) or he's aware and already have a counter measures to it though, is still up in the air.

My money is on the latter. Shadow Milk have shown time and time again he's way more knowledgeable than he let on. The way Dark Enchantress was depicted in his previous "play" does show us a certain level of... Appreciation(?) but who's to say he actually trusts her? It really does feel like a "I rub your back if you rub mine and then we'll backstab each other" kind of deal. Now I'm curious about the other Beasts' opinions on Dark Enchantress as well.

Where's Dark Enchantress anyways? We haven't seen her make any on-screen appearance in a while. I, um, I missed her a lot actually. I missed the diabolical meema

Laughing at Wind Archer cookie repeatedly telling Smilk to stfu from the moment they've met. He's saying what we've all been thinking

Also laughing at Shadow Milk basically only here to make cryptic riddles and mocks our Wind Archer. He really does have nothing better to do lol

Yeah that's right, FRIENDSHIP will save the day!

For real tho, tons of intriguing implications about the Ultimate Cookie with this one. I gotta mulls over them for awhile...

GUYS NEW SMILK'S SPRITE JUST DROPPED

HE'S ROLLING HIS EYES. HE'S SO DONE I'M DEAD

"In conclusion, this changed nothing!"

Kidding, kidding! I was getting real worried for Wind Archer there despite knowing full-well it's not crk's style to let something happen to a character unless they're a minor villain or an elderly *grinding my teeth trying not to bring up Elder Faerie again oops too late-*

The unexpected yet sweet moment of empathy Wind Archer have toward the Ultimate Cookie combined with the stunning animation toward the end were definitely my favorite part of this little adventure. Although I half-expected for him to have his magical girl transformation like White Lily and Dark Cacao right then and there-

"Beast-Yeast EP 5 coming soon to theaters near you! Remember to stay tuned, mkay? Okie dokie? Pinkie promiseee?"

[steamberrystudio]

28/07/2024 Devlog

Hallo everyone!  Time for the tumblr update! I have big news! So read on!

Summary:

Finished drafting Yren's ending

Revised Kav, Noel, Raif, and Yren

Formatted/Scripted Kav, Noel, Raif, and Yren's endings

Worked on the play test for Yren

One new BG

Lots of UI stuff

Big Fiddly To Do List

Writing:

I am done with the writing. (Well. As done as one ever really is. I was telling another writer friend of mine just yesterday that we're never really done until the moment we have to ship the project to someone).

BUT. I am done with the rough draft. I am done with the major revision. So from this point onwards, the changes will be more minor as I play test and others play test (eventually. I'm the only one testing right now).

So going forward you probably won't be getting any writing updates because there won't be enough to report. Cause...it's done.

Uncoded word count is 657,000 words.

Coded word count is 616,000 words (this is how much actually ended up in Ren'py).

Huzzah. My 350,000 word story is done. He he. He. LoL

It took so much longer than I thought it would even though I was writing every day - sometimes 3000 words a day!

Timing was just so hard for this project. It was much more difficult to predict a total word count for this game. Because of the structure of this game, word count variations are going to be much more noticeable and I had to focus and work a little harder to keep everyone in much tighter alignment. So when one route (like Asher), increased by 5000 words, I knew immediately I would have to increase all the others by roughly the same amount.. That meant the overall word count goal instantly increased by 25000 words.

Additionally, any time I made a small change in something - whether it was lore or a minor wording or vocabulary change (for instance, changing one thing from "system void" to "gate void" then to "nexus void") - each time, I had to go change that thing in all the other routes.

There was a lot of continuity babysitting.

This was somewhat true for GS but not to the same degree. Not everything mentioned in one route in that game was even mentioned in the other routes. So I might need to only change one other route's references to that thing but not all nine routes. Or maybe no other route would need changes. In WSC, it was all 6 routes every single time.

So even if I was focusing on one particular route, I could never really work on that route in a vacuum. I was constantly having to go check on and edit the other routes for things too.

This not only made it harder and more time consuming to write in general, but also just made it impossible to predict things like how much time it would take.

But that is squared away. Life is good.

Art:

Just some BG stuff. I've been so focused on writing that not much of that focus has been spread around to art so there's not much to report here.

Other Stuff:

UI.

As you know I've been making some visual changes to the UI. Mostly minor stuff involving slight changes to the general aesthetic of the UI. Those fixes are largely complete.

And now the focus has shifted to adding more of the features and functionalities that have been planned but on-hold for the last year.

The new save screen is coded. This save screen, as you can see, divides the characters up by name and lets you add additional save slots when you've filled up all the empty ones. 

For a game like WSC, where people may have multiple playthroughs for different characters going at the same time, I thought it would be useful to have this paged organisation. I always find that even if I try to keep my playthroughs separate and organised, they invariably get messy. This is true in other games, this is true for my personal play tests...

I'm really hoping this structure helps with that.

Another feature I'm adding to WSC is a recap screen.

I know that with episodic games, one of the struggles people have is that they forget some of the story details during the gap between episodes. So people feel like they constantly have to replay and refresh their memory. This is, of course, an attempt to help players maybe not have to do that.

The idea is that I will update this with every episode so that people who want a recap can just click in and refresh their memory.

There are some other features that have been added in. Some other QOL of life things. And there are more features to come. I won't go into everything here.

But those things are slowly coming together as well.

There are a lot of things that have to be done before the first episode can release. Some are major things like completing the CGs or coding the sprite expressions. Some are more minor like adding the in-game achievements. 

And there are also a ton of smaller, more fiddly things. Like double-checking the styling of certain words (my editing programs could never decide if they preferred home world or homeworld and so both get used.)

I want to fix those kinds of things so testers don't have to worry about pointing them out.

I have a massive to-do list filled with all of those big and small things. And now I'm working through it.

I have also been doing a play test of Yren's route. I have to personally do each route one time just to see if there are any significant issues that need to be fixed before anyone else sees the game. So I've been doing that as well.

Upcoming Weeks:

Finishing my own play test of the game. This goes fairly slow because I play test with the self voicing enabled. And that means that I'm playing through it at a much slower pace. I also stop frequently to fix typos, change repetitive wording. Or may slightly more substantial fixes.

I've been testing for like...2 hours a night because I've been focused on writing during the day. But I'm going to be increasing the time I spend play testing so that hopefully I can get through the rest of it a little faster.

Additionally, all the UI and "Fiddly List" stuff will continue to be worked on as well.

So that's where we are.

We have moved past writing and into the next phase of development. I'm really excited to be finally focusing on other stuff.

That is all for now. I will see you next time.

[doberbutts]

I think the terms TMA/TME work best when they're used as rules of thumb, rather than expected to function as strict categories. They're often helpful, but occasionally they can become obfuscatory, and there are edge cases where they can't be neatly applied. In those cases, they should be set aside, but with an understanding that they will be brought back into conversations when helpful.

To give a personal perspective - I'm a trans masc individual who has, upon occasion, experienced misdirected transmisogyny. I was on T for 5 years, then came off it (partly due to health problems, partly due to starting to identify as nonbinary rather than as a man) and began presenting in a more feminine manner, and people would regularly mistake me for a trans woman.

When people thought I was a trans woman, I did notice an increase in hostility, harassment and unwelcome advances from strangers. Groups of men would shout at me in the street, mothers would glare at me and physically pull their children further away from me if I came near. I also started getting catcalled and couldn't enjoy a night out in a club without being groped. I'd experienced some of these things as a trans man and as a girl, but probably never at such a high frequency or so intensely.

I definitely think I got a taste of transmisogyny and people do still assume I'm trans fem from time to time. But I still wouldn't describe myself as TMA. I don't shout it from the rooftops, but if it feels relevant in the context of a conversation, I will say I'm TME. Because I think the terms are about overarching dynamics, rather than whether or not an individual has ever faced a single instance of transmisogyny.

For me, there was always a sense of distance between myself and any negative experience, that came from knowing they'd misread my AGAB - "that lad just called me a chick with a dick! How funny! I'd be so lucky!" / "You're harassing me for using the female showers at the gym when I am literally menstruating. Are you going to stop being a creep, or do I have to show you my bloody tampon?" There's a degree to which I can sidestep or disavow their idea of me in a manner trans women can't.

I also don't know what it's like to deal with many other elements of transmisogyny, or deal with it as an overarching narrative in one's life rather than a freak episode.

I think it's fair to say I have at times been a grey area and I could use my experiences to argue against the validity of TME/TMA, but I don't want to do that. I don't like it when the terms are just used as a way to say AFAB/AMAB while being perceived as less problematic. But I think it is helpful to have little shorthand reminders about specific power dynamics that do have an impact in our communities. I have absolutely seen transmisogyny play out in queer spaces, both online and IRL, and I think it's worth having vocabulary that emphatically reminds people to check themselves and to not assume they don't have internalised bias against trans women just because they're trans masc.

Trans women are a boogeyman in popular culture and the collective unconscious in a way trans men never have been (at least, not to anything like the same extent). Trans women face an intensity of monstering that I think most people won't understand unless they spend a lot of time sharing space with and listening to trans women. The rapid adoption of TMA/TME feels like an attempt to fast-track that understanding en masse. Maybe it's a bit clumsy, but I do think it's having an impact and important conversations are happening. I don't know if the terms will stick or fall out of use. Having been in the trans community for over a decade and seeing how our vocabularies evolve, I'm inclined to think they'll stick around for a few years and then largely disappear. But I feel that while trans women are finding them useful, we need to be respectful of that fact.

Idk sorry to rant in your askbox, I wanted to give my two cents. Feel free to ignore lol

I'm going to be a bit blunt here: in the span of time I've been off tumblr to, you know, sleep... I've gotten 20 different asks trying to convince me to like the usage of tma/tme and also several transphobic asks about my top surgery. The transphobic ones I blocked and deleted because I'm literally 3 weeks out and will not be dissuaded. But I'm simply not willing to continue arguing a point I've made very clear that I don't love the usage of this particular theory the way it's currently being used.

You can like it for yourself. I have said this over and over again. I do not like it for me, and do not think it is accurate for my life or my experiences or the reality that is what I have to go through on a regular basis. True to everything else that I've posted, I don't really care what you call yourself. If you want to call yourself TME and you believe that framework works for your experience, more power to you. Just don't label me that, because I don't think it works for mine.

Trans women are absolutely a boogeyman in a way that trans men often aren't. That is, unfortunately, one of the ways that hypervisibility is such a curse. Everyone knows what a trans woman is, and a good majority of those people also think the only good one's a dead one. That's bad. That's transmisogyny, and we should ally with trans women to help fix this problem.

Also unfortunately, as trans men become more and more visible to the world, instead of facing mass erasure and dying in silence or escaping to live in stealth, trans men are also beginning to become a boogeyman as well. Now we are a social contagion, a craze, with rapid onset gender dysphoria, mutilating ourselves and ruining our precious bodies, carving out our wombs, simultaneously debasing ourselves and also becoming predators lurking to snatch daughters up and forcefeed them our ideology, betraying women by becoming a mockery of men. What's worse, we tend to politically close ranks with trans women and cis women alike so it's harder for transphobic lawmakers to divide and conquer as they're used to with cis men, so instead they have to demonize us to prevent any further allyship.

That's the conversation trans mascs are trying to have.

Genuinely, I do agree that trans women face an othering that most people do not grasp without understanding transmisogyny theory, which is why I think everyone should have at least a basic understanding of it. But I also think that's true of many other demographics, and that if we want to get out of the pit that bigoted society put us in, we've got to work together to do so. It was, after all, the combined efforts of Marsha P Johnson AND Storme de Laverie that brought us out in the open. And among me friend group, we have people from all different races and backgrounds and genders and more locking arms to ensure the safety of each other, wanting to understand and know each other, lifting each other up.

[selfhelpforstudents]

Set specific, achievable goals for your study session: Set a clear goal for what you want to achieve in each study session. For example, "I want to complete the first three chapters of my textbook today."

Create a study schedule and stick to it: Develop a study schedule that works for you and stick to it. For example, "I will study for one hour every day after dinner."

Minimize distractions by finding a quiet place to study: Eliminate distractions that can interfere with your focus. For example, turning off your phone or finding a quiet place to study.

Take regular breaks to avoid burnout and increase focus: Take short breaks every hour or so to recharge and refocus. For example, taking a five-minute break to stretch or grab a snack.

Use active study techniques, such as summarizing, reciting, or creating flashcards: Use active techniques to engage with the material you're studying. For example, summarizing a chapter in your own words or creating flashcards to test your knowledge.

Get organized by using a planner or calendar to keep track of assignments and due dates: Keep track of your assignments and due dates to avoid procrastination. For example, using a planner or calendar to keep track of your deadlines.

Find a study group or accountability partner to keep you motivated: Join a study group or find a partner to keep you accountable and motivated. For example, joining a study group on campus or finding a study partner online.

Use mnemonic devices to help you remember information: Use memory aids, such as acronyms or visual images, to help you remember information. For example, using the acronym "ROY G BIV" to remember the colors of the rainbow.

Stay hydrated and take care of your physical health by eating well and exercising regularly: Take care of your physical health to improve your mental focus. For example, drinking plenty of water and going for a run before a study session.

Make use of study aids, such as textbooks, notes, or online resources: Use study aids to supplement your learning. For example, using a textbook or online resource to help you understand a difficult concept.

Use technology to your advantage, such as apps or online tools for studying: Use technology to enhance your studying. For example, using a study app to practice vocabulary words or online tools for organizing your notes.

Vary your study routine by changing your location or study technique: Change up your study routine to keep it fresh and engaging. For example, studying in a different location or using a different study technique, such as listening to an audiobook instead of reading.

Review your notes regularly to reinforce your learning: Review your notes frequently to help you retain information. For example, reviewing your notes after each class or at the end of each week.

Focus on understanding concepts rather than memorizing facts: Focus on understanding the material rather than memorizing facts. For example, understanding the concepts behind a mathematical formula rather than just memorizing the formula itself.

Test yourself regularly to identify areas that need improvement: Test yourself frequently to identify areas where you need improvement. For example, taking practice quizzes or tests to gauge your understanding.

Use positive self-talk to boost your confidence and motivation: Use positive self-talk to stay motivated and confident. For example, telling yourself "I can do this" when faced with a challenging task.

Avoid procrastination by breaking down large assignments into smaller tasks: Break down large assignments into smaller, manageable tasks to avoid procrastination. For example, breaking down a research paper into smaller tasks such as researching, outlining, and drafting.

Reward yourself after reaching a goal or completing a challenging assignment: When you complete a task or achieve a goal, reward yourself with something that you enjoy. This can help you stay motivated and make the studying process more enjoyable. For example, you could treat yourself to a favorite snack, take a break to watch an episode of your favorite TV show, or go for a walk outside.

Take care of your mental health by practicing self-care and seeking help if needed: Studying can be stressful, so it's important to take care of your mental health. This can include practicing self-care activities such as meditation, exercise, or spending time with friends and family. If you feel overwhelmed or need additional support, don't hesitate to seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional.

Stay positive and motivated by focusing on your progress and accomplishments: Studying can be challenging, but it's important to focus on the progress you're making rather than getting discouraged by setbacks or mistakes. Celebrate small wins, such as completing a challenging assignment or understanding a difficult concept. For example, you could keep a study journal where you write down your accomplishments or take time at the end of each day to reflect on what you learned.

Source // Follow my Studygram for more motivation // Join our Discord Server // Follow my Tumblr

Write me a message if you need someone to talk to!

Love, Sophia <3

[secret-life-of-9to5-polyglot]

JLPT D-148 - welcome to my new blogging journey

So, my goal for this 2024 is to pass the JLPT N2 exam in December, so I have created an intensive study plan to tackle all the different areas (hopefully) in an efficient way before the exam date

I have tried two or three times to sit down and study hard to try the JLPT N2, but I always gave up in the end as I haven't been strategic and realistic about my studies

So why is this time different (or at least it will be different) ?

I decided to approach my JLPT studies as if it was my biggest career project of 2024, which kinda true is btw, so I got into project management and treated this new study goal as if I were the big girl boss in the room

LET'S BREAK DOWN THIS JLPT THING TOGETHER OK?

WHY >> why do I want to pass JLPT N2?

Having a piece of paper certifying my level of Japanese

To feel "validated," to prove that my years of study and passion were worth something

Certify I can work with companies who have Japanese clients or partners

DEADLINE >> December 1st 2024 (T . T)

MAIN PROBLEMS >> problematic elements in my daily life that could be obstacles to achieving my goal

Lack of time

Lack of energies

Possible strategies to overcome those problems:

Learn to manage my time better

Learn how to face my procrastination problem

Learn how to manage my energies better

Work on my sense of discipline

SUCCESS CRITERIA >> parameters that indicate positive progress

Improve my success rate during Anki sessions

Improve simulations' total scores

Improve the score of those vocab & kanji exercises that have the same structure of the ones I find on the exam paper MAIN STRUCTURE OF MY STUDY PLAN:

Create all the flashcards on Anki for the vocabulary and kanji in Sou Matome N2 books

Study all the grammar points in TRY! N2 book

Focus on how to tackle in an optimized way the different questions on the test

LOOOOOOTS of simulations of the exam

Anki daily streak

Daily exercises that cover the different parts of the exam

RESOURCES I AM GONNA USE AND THEIR PURPOSE:

Vocabulary & Kanji learning:

It was recommended by the Italki teacher I am taking weekly lessons from, it was the perfect choice for me indeed! I am using these two books mainly as flashcards prep

Grammar:

TRY! N2 is the main resource I use for learning new grammar points and patterns and I tend to compare its explanations with the ones in the　ESSENTIAL JAPANESE EXPRESSIONS GRAMMATICAL POINTS DICTIONARY 

General exercises:

These books are like the step n.2, all about reinforcing my knowledge and getting used to test format

Simulation book:

Planning to make a simulation of the test 2 weeks, this will help with getting used to the tight time available

Now that I have noted down the resources I need to tackle before Dec. 1st, I created an extremely detailed of what I need to get through every day. Of course, it would be hard to keep up with as I am also adapting to a new workplace and getting my life together, so here's why I am also thinking about emergency plans for those days when I don't feel well at all. This is something I will develop on the go, but one of the side quests of this long journey is to also increase my focus time, study stamina, and discipline.

MAIN TIMELINE

Sharing all the extremely detailed plan would be too much, but I have divided these remaining 148 days into two main chunks of practice:

July - August : build the flashcard deck on Anki and study all the grammar points contained in TRY! N2

September - November : exercises

! one element that will be a constant presence in my study plan is doing at least 30 minutes of Anki revision + studying daily

This is more or less the complete overview of how I am going to tackle the JLPT N2 exam, I am feeling very energized and motivated.

Hopefully, I will also be able to update you on a daily basis here. Thank you so so much for your attention <3

[moyazaika]

Professor.

One of the most disgusting things that exists in this world is the human mind. The human mind is the source of all bad things humans do, consciously and unconsciously. It’s where we have our darkest and most private thoughts. It’s also the place where we have our involuntary thoughts. The thoughts that you have, the ones that you disagree with, but still have because they are as true as your disagreeing ones.

I hated the college that I went to. Not because it was a bad one, it was one of the best, but because I was always surrounded by people who thought they were better than everyone else. People that would look at the “lower” colleges and think about how stupid those people must be if they only got into “that one”.  The teachers weren’t much better. No matter how much some of them try to deny it, they will always feel a sense of superiority compared to other college professors, because they work at this one. They also feel a sense of superiority over the students, which doesn’t go unnoticed by new arrivals. When you are new to a space, you go in more aware of what is going on. People that have studied there long enough get used to how people view them, or in this example how teachers view them. But new arrivals, they notice how the teachers always seem to have a hint of……well….as if they are speaking to a child when they speak to them. Making the new arrivals feel belittled. 

Humans can ignore a lot of things, but being belittled seems to always strike a nerve.

I never wanted to return to the campus. It’s a beauty to the eye and an annoyance to the mind. But business is business. If this could even classify as that.

They wanted me to work here. Despite my distaste for the school and most who stepped foot on it, I was a great student even for their high standards. Since a young age I’ve strived to always want to know more, but I wasn’t a young genius (a common lie teachers tell about me when they brag that I was in their class, no matter what grade).  I was smart, sure, but only when I applied myself, which wasn’t often. I only cared to study things I wanted to, anything else that I “needed” to study, well…I nearly failed a few grades. And the things I wanted to study were either not part of what we needed to study, or they were things teachers considered far too “advanced” for me. 

Looking back, I can’t blame them. Who would encourage a ten-year-old to learn a new language when they were failing the grammar of their first language?

My interests always revolved around the same things. I loved reading books, so I wanted to read as much as possible, meaning I knew a lot of random things. And despite what some self-proclaimed “educated” people say, reading fiction is actually quite good for you. It helps you be more empathetic, increases your vocabulary, and makes you understand people even more.

(The first one is quite useless if you plan to go to the same college as me. You’ll get stepped on like a cockroach by overly polished shoes that cost more than your rent if you act to nice and understanding. Fair warning.)

I know it sounds like I’m honking my own horn. “oh, look at me, I was smart as a kid but my teachers didn’t notice. I went to a top college and am an ungrateful bitch, wow”.

No. I hate that some people know that I have a good head on my shoulders. You can’t play dumb when you want to. You think too much when you are like that, too self-aware of what you are thinking and what that means.

I had that as a kid too. I was always hyper aware of people and what they were thinking. I had what some people would say an exceptionally high emotional intelligence from a young age. I could know exactly what someone was feeling from watching them, and I could guess what the cause what, even if I barely knew them. That always helped me in school a lot, avoiding fights, stopping fights, and getting on the good side of the scary people.

But I’m getting off topic.

Long life story short, I became a “genius”. I learned multiple languages for fun on my own time because that was what interested me. I wrote stories because that was what interested me. I studied languages and psychology because that was what interested me. I got into this college and did well when I applied myself. Well enough so that years later, when I did well with my books that they wanted me to do lectures.

I wanted no part in it. But my favorite teacher, Mrs. Welling, asked me personally to at least talk to Mr. Rossi. Mrs. Welling was the only teacher I liked past elementary. She is as old as the books in the library. Her skin is withered like the paper too. So, I came. It’s hard for me to say no when people that I actually like ask me to do something. Something I’m also hyper aware of.

…

I knocked on the door to his office, a little sign on the door with neat black font saying “Mr. Rossi”.

“Come in” I never met the dude, but I knew it was him, it was a male voice, and you could just hear from those two words alone what kind of person he was, and wanted to be. You could hear that he well educated and tried to seem even more educated. You could hear the hint of an accent that he desperately wanted to hide. You could also hear he was young, late twenties. Though I guess that last one it unfair since I already knew that about him. He was a new teacher to the school, and Mrs. Welling had told me about him in the letter she wrote (she’s one of those old women that send letters with pressed flowers from their personal garden).

I opened the door and looked around.

The entire room was made of wood. The walls were beautifully carved with dark wood, candles littered all around lighting up all the books on the shelves (all bound with leather or cloth, a professor would never dare have a modern looking book in their office). Despite the room having no windows it was well lit with all the candles. It smelled like, you guessed it, burning candles, paper, and……a cologne. I tried not to grimace at the smell. It smelled nice, but I never liked the smell of cologne when I didn’t expect it. I got used to it quickly.

It reminded me off all the other rooms in the school, not specifically from the layout, but the feel. The type of place you could go mad in if you were mentally well.

Mr. Rossi was sitting at his desk, smiling. He had dark brown hair that reached his shoulders, styled in a “messy way” that looked good. He had dark eyes with lashes that any woman would envy, and thick eyebrows. And sun-kissed skin, but not in the orange glowing way, the type that is dark and cold. Like the sun has touched his skin but not his soul. If I had to make a guess, he was Italian.

“You’re early, are you actually interested? Didn’t take you as the type to play hard to get and then seem interested.”

I looked at him with my usual expression, nothing. An expression that has protected me from all the wolf in sheep’s clothing at this school.

“No, I just hate being late, and the sooner I get this over with the sooner I can work on my next book.”

He smiled at me, I hated that I knew what that look in his eyes meant. I missed my house, somewhere to be alone. 

“Please, take a seat, I was hoping that I could convince you to truly be interested in my offer.”

I sat down and debated quickly how to sit. He’s a smart man, so he’ll know however I sit will indicate how I feel. I decided to sit straight with my hands laying on top of each other in my lap. Indicating that I’m not relaxed, or comfortable, but that I’m not resorting to self-soothing behavior that would indicate weakness. Though my hands desperately wanted to rub together.

He stared at me, still smiling, and I stared back at him. I knew what his eyes meant, his politeness couldn’t get rid of it. He was interested. Not in getting me to work here, though he also would benefit from that, but he was interested in me as a ….concept? thing? It’s hard to tell sometimes.

“You’re quite an intriguing case you know.”

I didn’t respond.

“Most students when they get out can’t wait to talk about their time here, some wishing they could have stayed longer. Or at the very least brag any chance they get. But you never once mentioned it publicly. Not in your books, interviews, anything.”

“That’s my private life, I see no reason to bring it up in my work.”

Stop looking at me like that. Stop looking at me like that.

He was curious, he wanted to pick apart my brain, he wanted to know what I was thinking, he wanted to know what I was feeling, he wanted to know know know know know know.

“You know the students here often say you are one of the few real writers in this generation. They could really benefit from having someone like you in lectures.” He used an encouraging tone, one you would use to encourage a child to try a new hobby.

“I don’t care much for teaching, and I don’t agree with their opinion. There are plenty of great writers in this generation. I’m hardly a rarity.”

“Modest as ever,” He praised, “but they are saying the thing everyone else agrees with. So, you’re outnumbered there.” 

He leaned backwards in his chair a little and continued,

“You never advertised your books, just published them under a pen name and left them, not caring if people read your books or not, just wanted to publish them.  Not like the money hungry “great” writers that you speak of. You’ve never done anything to try and get you more money. The only interviews you’ve ever done were when people wanted advice and help from you, or to understand your stories more, you don’t care for advertising. You-“

“Me not advertising myself doesn’t mean I’m great, and as much as I would usually prefer professionalism, I would prefer now if you stopped trying to praise me into saying yes to your offer.”

I hated it I just wanted to leave. Both because I knew I didn’t want the job, but because I knew too much of what he was thinking. Being hyper aware of people’s thoughts is never fun. And being hyper aware of your own is even worse.

He looked at me….in…. that way……I…..stop thinking about that and move on, get away around it already for fucks sake.

I interrupted him before he could say anything.

“Thank you for the praise, and you can tell your students that I appreciate it, but I’m not interested in working here or any other teaching job. Not even for a few short lectures. I like my private life, and I’m not interested in anything that deviates from that.”

He smiled. He didn’t fail to smile once.

“I understand. And I agree, that being professional will only drag this out, so I’ll get to it a little.”

He leaned forward, in a way that tries to impose authority.

“You fascinate me, as you already know.”

I didn’t deny that, waiting for him to continue.

He pulled out a book as he continued to speak, “One of the main things that teachers often pointed out when looking back on the time you spent here was that you are very perceptive. I looked into your files and saw that you avoided a few….incidents…because you detected the signs. Good intuition.”

He flipped through the book as he spoke, the book had no cover title to show what it was about.

“Darlings that are that aware tend to try and avoid dark topics, their minds already occupied with such thoughts, but you seemed more than interested in those thoughts. Your library check outs show that you were highly interested in books about psychology, specifically darling psychology, though you had more than the average amount of books on the OTHER psychology.”

He listed a few off in the book he was looking at. The book was about me clearly.

He looked at me again, trying to search my eyes for what I was thinking, and when he didn’t find what he was looking for he continued.

“You seem to also have a high level of empathy, not just in your general EQ score but some of your personal essays.” He flipped through a few pages of what I assumed were those essays.

“You seemed to have a very understanding view of you-know-what’s, explaining the different reasons they feel the ways they do, both biological reasons and psychological reasons. You never villainized them like how some others do.”

He looked in my eyes again, searching for something, “why is that?”

I stared back at him.

“…. understanding and open-minded.”

He smiled, but it seemed more real this time, “you really are a sweetheart behind those dead eyes of yours.”

I was getting nervous, it didn’t show, but I felt it. I was becoming more and more aware of our surrounding, his breath, his movements, and what I picked up on him. And I became more and more aware about what I was feeling.

“Did you ever read “The Lying Heart” by Emily Gatsby?”

“Yes, it’s a study on how some darlings develop an attachment to “certain” people, despite them being aware that those feelings are wrong. No doubt you already knew that I read that book from my records.”

“You seemed fond of that book, no?”

“She’s a great writer, and her research was amazing, even though it wasn’t appreciated at the time.”

He nodded.

He closed the book before looking at me.

“why didn’t you press charges against the man that tried to kidnap you?”

…

…

…

…

I didn’t answer and didn’t plan to.

I got up.

“This seems to have went down a few wrong turns, Mr. Rossi. I came here out of politeness to listen to you offer me a job I don’t’ want. Instead, you go in circles about me and then bring up private business from when I studied here. I’ll be leaving now.”

He hadn’t been going in circles, he was going straight down a path that I never wanted him to reach the end of.

I walked to the door and already had my hand on the handle, when he said it,

“You’re “a lover’s dream”, aren’t you?”

I froze.

I heard him laugh, and I turned around I saw that he had also gotten up from his seat and made his way to me but kept a good distance between us.

I contemplated my actions, 

“You’re incorrect.”

“now don’t try to lie no-“

“I’m a “Darling’s Self hell”.”

Saying it out loud made me have to silently accept all the thoughts I was having the whole time. The way that I thought he was attractive from the beginning. The way that despite how much I hated the way I felt preyed upon by his eyes that tried to look into my soul, I found it highly attractive. The way that I liked how he gave off an air of threat, of danger. Not the danger to me physically, or mentally (technically), but the attraction of danger.

He smiled, but this time it was a real smile, a wolf like smile that I still found attractive,

“I’m glad we finally stopped beating around the bush. Now….where does that leave the two of us? You already know I’m infatuated with you, and I know that you have an unwanted attraction to me.”

He approached me a bit more, I walked around him, keeping a distance and avoiding a door being behind my back.

“I don’t plan to kidnap you, that’s not something I personally fancy doing. What I do want though, is you indulging that part of your brain that finds this attractive. Indulge me a little.”

It sounded so tempting, I hate to admit it even now, but it was so tempting. To indulge that part of my brain that liked this, that loved this.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t say yes, or nod.

“Since we have both clearly read “The Lying Heart”, we both know that Miss Gatsby clearly illustrated that a “Darling’s self-hell” have unwanted, intrusive thoughts that they don’t agree with. The same way some self-aware you-know-what’s aren’t fond of their mind either. So we both know that I would never agree to such an arrangement.”

“And, yet, you didn’t press charges against him. You didn’t’ seem to care then about what was socially acceptable.”

“Those are two very different levels of socially unacceptable.”

“Some people have already outcasted you for having sympathy for a “lover”, how much worse would it be to be with me?”

“I would say it’s the difference between burning yourself on a candle, and jumping into an active volcano.”

He chuckled, “A lot of the students here actually find me quite charming.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“No, not like that, I don’t engage with students, how low do you think of me?” 

“Low enough to bring up personal matters that happened while I was still a student here. Bringing them up while you’re actually supposed to be professional by offering me a job. And low enough to not take a no.”

He nodded, “Fair.”

It didn’t matter that he was attractive. It didn’t matter that I found his forwardness attractive. It didn’t matter that a part of me liked this attention. It didn’t matter because these thoughts aren’t my own. They are something my brain makes against my will, therefore, they are not my own, and I am not tied to them.

“This has went on long enough. I won’t be accepting ANY offer from you. Be that job related or other. Have a nice day Mr. Rossi, and do no try to contact me again in the future, this was a one and done thing.”

I sped off to the door, opening it and leaving immediately. I didn’t care that it looked weak, showing that I was deeply bothered by all of it. Running away like a rabbit or a deer. I just didn’t want to give him a chance to say or do anything else.

I left the hell built like heaven, avoiding the eyes of students as some of them pointed and whispered amongst themselves. Letting the breeze carry their questions. “Is that them?” “No way, really?” “who is that?”

I never thought I would write about that day. Not anywhere but my journal at least. But in light of the recent movements and criticisms towards Emily Gatsby’s works I thought this would benefit more people than it would hurt me.

I’m aware that in this piece I have outed myself as one of the types that Emily Gatsby coined in her book “The Lying Heart”, but as I will quote from her, page 17, paragraph 3 “There should be no shame when it comes to our biology. We should not blame a man for only having one arm, or a woman for being infertile. We should not blame a child for being a mute or a dog for being blind. And we should never blame a darling for being a darling. We can only pass criticism about what someone does, not what someone is.”

As of the time of this writing, there are currently charges against Mr. Rossi for attempted kidnapping, stalking, blackmailing, breaking and entering, and theft. From yours truly.

I shall end this piece with a word to an editor, who encouraged me to not write nor publish this.

Scheiß auf dich du alter sack.

(3406 words)

-✨🥐anon (Sorry for any typos! Wrote this while the wolves were howling outside.)

wowww i did not think that was the path we were going down at the end, from the way this started. the dialogue in this is probably the best you’ve written in my opinion and the banter was so good bc “you’re quite a sweetheart behind your dead eyes” took me out 😭

love love love the meta concept of a self aware universe of ‘lovers’ and darlings. love that professor, and the way he was trying to pick reader’s brain, when they wanted nothing to do with him. even the part with how darling is mindful of how they sit down so as to not give away any weakness fuck yah

interesting that they have entire books dedicated to the topic, with subtypes of darlings. i wonder what other categories exist besides ‘a lover’s dream’ and the self hell one,,

lowkey need Mr rossi carnally ❤️❤️ even if he is an “old bastard” LMAO

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update 02/25/2024

Nerdie! You saw it right! He won! *hugs tightly*

Yes he did! 🥰 We're all so happy for him! Finally!

We're also buzzing about how he looks like he's on the cover of a romance novel. Maybe on a ranch, maybe in the 1800's. It's a pretty versatile look. He likes his deep V's....

As we all should. Also, I'm taking notes on that. *scribbles*

Anything new besides, well clearly pirate adventures?

Pirates have scurvy and Pedro is well nourished so none of that. Other ideas for his characters. Ezra and Pero might have scurvy though. I did manage to write some this week. It's been busy. 👀 Ugh...real life stuff. Nothing major. Just needs to be done.

Nerdie's fics:

Guiding Light (Ezra one shot - I was chatting with @lady-bess and had the idea for this. I always have Ezra in some crime. 😎)

Lunch is happening right? (Part two of my summer romance Javi G fic. Not sure how many parts.)

He told me his name (Din Djarin x plus size female reader) I wrote it after reading a new Din fic by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (will be listed below. I'd still call it moody because despite writing, I still have trouble with my vocabulary. 🤣 It is pretty though. I'm working on a follow-up since people asked 👀)

Can't win carino (Javi G one shot - for @i-own-loki because she gave me the idea and the moodboard so I ran with it.)

The Man Next Door (Jake Lockley one shot for @megamindsecretlair because she kinda asked, more like I asked her what she wanted in it. She asked for action and smut. I might try more action in fics later.)

Get a room you two and BONE (Part two of my Tim Rockford comedy series which now has romance? I binged too much B99, watched a bit of Castle and a few episodes of Kojak with my mom. The insanity will only increase with part three but maybe there might be some growth between Tim and Doc? Or a hippo.)

Nerdie I thought you said you were busy....that's six fics...

I was and some of them I had been working on for a while. I also had some insomnia (that lead to parts two and three of the Tim Rockford fic). Anyway, on to the main event! 😘

Nerdie's fic recommendations! or things I read this week. 😄

14 x kisses by @trulybetty (Jack Daniels x reader) Part of her 29 days of valentines for February.

Sorgan Girls Are Easy - Solo Din Djarin by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (the fic that inspired my Din - her Din has 100% more smut)

Half of you - chapter 3 by @foxilayde (Santiago Garcia x fem. reader) Slow burn series - love it and trying to read it slowly to savor it.

Falling for you by @toomanystoriessolittletime (Javi Pena x fem reader) A bittersweet read that had me wonder what was next but I was hopeful.

Sunday Naps by @javierpena-inatacvest (Frankie Morales x fem reader) More proof that cuddling with Frankie leads to wonderful things.

Poe Dameron falling in love with his shy best friend (GN reader) by @i-belong-to-the-stars What one hopes for if you're shy and you're in love with those curls...er Poe. 🫣

Mystery Strain by @rebel-held (Dieter Bravo x GN reader) All kinks are valid and who doesn't love Dieter with a belly? 😘

Bulletproof by @laurfilijames (Jax Teller x fem reader) She wrote poetic porn with feelings. I was overcome, titllated and confused.

A girl walks into a bookshop by @oonajaeadira (Ezra x fem reader) Soft Ezra with a bookshop, yes please! 😄

Beneath the mask by @saradika (Din Djarin x fem reader) A medieval knight Din...so where does one pick up the velvet dress?

Loneliness by @sirowsky (Pero Tovar x GN reader) Pondering Pero in your local Park? Highly recommended for Valentine's Day.

15 x cashmere by @trulybetty (Joel Miller x GN reader) What thread count was it that encouraged Joel to hop in bed in such a state? For my personal file. 👀

He sees you by @maggiemayhemnj (Joel Miller x reader) This writer will tell you she just loves words. I would argue that the words love her in a unique way that makes you see the things. 💜

16 x dance by @trulybetty (Tim Rockford x reader) I pictured him dancing with the reader in his trench coat. @secretelephanttattoo (El) is to the holsters as I am to the trench coat. 🤣 In my mind.

Quiet Moments Collection by @secretelephanttattoo (various Pedro characters x reader) It’s the small instances that you think don’t matter, that are the most meaningful.

Plus One by @always-andromeda (Frankie Morales x fem reader) Always a fan of two idiots in love, even with their spat.

A Strange Fate by @youandmeand5bucks (Silva x fem reader) Two people who came together because of life circumtances. Are they really satisfied?

A Beskar Valentine by @firstofficerwiggles (Din Djarin x female reader) Awesome username, it makes me giggle. Din will be ten steps ahead and still fifteen behind when it comes to matters of the heart. My guy is an overthinking champion.

Seven by @lokischocolatefountain (Javier Pena x reader) A simple discussion about children leads Javier to a drastic solution.

To be Explored Later by @legendary-pink-dot (Frankie Morales x fem reader x Santiago Garcia) aka Ms. Curls if ya nasty! 😘 Somehow I missed the gem of a sandwich. How the reader was able to think about anything is beyond me.

Red Light Glow by @missredherring (Lucian Flores x fem reader) This man has me and @rhoorl keeping track of his silk shirt and gold chain. We would accept his call. The guilt would go away too quickly if we felt it at all. 😌

Incarnadine by @iamskyereads (Pero Tovar x fem reader) This Pero has me swoon with his care toward the reader, his love of baths (I just want him to soak and relax - he's been earning coin!), and his word choice. This is another person that words appear to favor. 💜

Not like I fangirled over these writers this week or anything 👀

What on the docket for this week Nerdie?

Part three of the Javi G summer romance

Maybe...Roc & Doc part three I don't like sitting on finished parts but then I whine about having no motivation for the next part. 👀 I make no sense.

March is toward the end of the week so my March Spring Prompts will start! I scheduled the first six days I think. I got anxious about getting behind (which isn't the point of doing them but anxiety doesn't care) and did some in advance. I like how they're coming along and that they're short. Unlike this update. 🤣 They won't have summaries, but will have warnings, tags and notes.

And because I hear series and I think "I should start another one!" I decided to write an Ezra series. How did I happen upon our favorites prospector/scoundrel/reluctant father figure? I've been reading works by @morallyinept @maggiemayhemnj and @magpiepills

Ezra intimidated me because of his language, but actually, I think I'd get along with him because he puts on a persona with a great deal of performance. It's the audience's job to figure out if you're serious or not. Or at least that's how I approached him. 🤨 This could go badly. I stuck him on the bayou with an air boat and I want him to cook gumbo. *full delusional achievement unlocked*

Special shout-outs to @connectioneverywhere and @soft-girl-musings for sending me lovely asks this week.

Also to @inept-the-magnificent who called Tim Rockford her sidepiece and I am still very tickled. 🤣

This update was long 🤗 Hehe

Love Nerdie ❤️

[bruciemilf]

Harvey dent seems like the type of mf to say "we needed that" every time it rains

"the plants are gonna love this" headass

PLEEEEEASE. please.

Dick got his mayonnaise vocabulary from Harvey 100% and you can't take this for me without my life on your hands.

Absolutely obsessed about Harvey also saying/doing the following:

[When answering the phone] " Yellow"

" Later, gators"

" After a while, crocodile!"

[Reaches hand in the back of the car] " Lemme me get some of that"

" Ready to rock and roll?"

If he's getting groceries and there's a scanning problem, he'll be like " Guess it's free then! Ha" and Tim wants whatever curse that keeps this family alive to break so badly

He's probably the worst at restaurants, thought. Jason nearly shoots him when he pulls a server aside and is like, " My boy thinks you're cute" or says the dreaded " Yeah, a million dollars" joke

Dick thinks he's the funniest man alive, but only because they have the same cornbread humor. They toss dad jokes back to eachother while the annoyed groaning of the batfamily escalates rapidly in the background

Tim covers his face with his hands as if that's gonna block out his brother and step-dad being unnaturally embarassing, " B, get your husband and that embarassment."

" It's really not that bad. "

" You only say that because THEIR bad jokes outweigh YOUR bad jokes."

" I'll put up with a lot of things, but I won't stand to being called a comedian. I haven't made a joke in my life and you know that."

Cass shrugs, " You made Damian." Harvey increases her allowance, of course.