#i need to PUNT that child
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summercosmos · 1 month ago
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nothing in this world has pissed me off more than this scene. FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFF leave that teenage girl alone!!!!!!! HELLOOOOO. a GROWN WOMAN with KIDS saying this mind you. Never they could NEVER make me like u
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scottpilgrim4everr · 1 year ago
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Yall think I should sell my organs on the black market? It’s an emergency. I’m tryna raise money for these.
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pikkish · 2 years ago
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So I know that 2022 isn't actually canonically when classic Doom takes place, it was printed in one of the port manuals without ever being confirmed by any of the original team, but I think it is infinitely funnier if that is when it takes place, because that would mean Hayden was alive through the events of classic Doom, and he still decided to everything he did. My man you saw the consequences and you still made the decisions you did. This is very much your own fault.
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teamcircustwo · 5 months ago
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get out of my ask box this isnt anything yet
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This is just me and @thescribblings in a nutshell
I'm very tired but wanted to draw something
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What is that weird cat doing
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nie7027 · 1 year ago
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Ugh I really carry so much trauma...
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ghoststillhaunting · 2 months ago
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My current favorite hobby is to make my own incorrect marvel quotes cause I think I'm so fucking funny
Here are some of my favorites :)
~
After a rough mission
Steve: whew! well that was crazy! I definitely need a smoke after that. Anyone got a cigarette I can bum off them?
Sam: uh Steve? aren't you asthmatic?
Steve: I mean I was? but what does that matter?
Bruce: cause cigarettes have been known to cause asthma...
Steve, who was prescribed cigarettes specifically to TREAT his asthma: What
~
Tony: Hey Steve. what'cha reading there?
Steve: Oh! it's this short horror story called I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. It's about this AI that gains consciousness and sets out to destroy humanity.
Natasha: sounds right up your ally Tony
Tony: That's not funny 😐
~
Tony: Now I do believe that capitalism can work-
Steve, who literally grew up during the Great Depression: I don't. It has done nothing but fuck us over and is the disease at the core of America.
Interviewer, taking notes: "Captain America is a communist" got it.
~
Tony: hey kid! what're your plans for Christmas?
Peter: Uh me and Aunt May don't really celebrate for Christmas
Tony: WHAT!? WHO WOULD EVER DEPRIVE A CHILD OF THE SWEET JOYS AND WONDERS OF CHRISTMAS???
Peter: Mr. Stark...I'm Jewish.
Tony:...oh
~
Steve: Hey Peter! Hey Ned!
Ned: omg Captain America knows my name!
Peter: Ned, you have dinner with us. Every Friday. Of course he knows your name.
Ned:...I know but it's still CRAZY
~
Tony: Peter. You must learn the consequences of your actions therefore I have no choice but to punish you. You aren't allowed in the labs for a month.
Peter: OH SO YOU WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF
Tony: PETER
Peter: NO NO I SEE HOW IT IS YOU HATE ME AND WANT ME DEAD
Tony: PETER YOU RECREATED A LIGHTSABER AND SLICED THE COUCH INTO TWENTY PIECES
Peter: GOD I CAN'T DO ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE
~
Tony: Kid WHY and HOW do you know how to use a gun???
Peter:...I play a lot of call of duty?
Tony: this is the closest i have ever been to wanting to punt a child
~
Steve: Jesus Tony stop being such a cunt!
Tony: 😦
Peter: ATE
~
Bucky: Peter...do you think i'm gay?
Peter:....you are wearing a rupaul muscle tee
Bucky:...you didn't answer my question :(
~
Interviewer: What are your thoughts on immigration?
Steve: my parents were immigrants...what do you think my thoughts are?
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reallyromealone · 9 months ago
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hello !! can i request dad hawks with toddler son that has a cat quirk and keeps trying to hunt him :•0 also i really like your fics !! i always get really excited when you post !! have a good day/night !!
Title: little hunter
Fandom: my hero Academia
Pairing: hawks + reader
Warnings: child reader, platonic, fluff, dad hawks
Notes:
🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
He was small now, he could absolutely punt the little guy if need be.
Hawks watched as his son tried being sneaky, trying to hunt him as his tail swished.
This was a pivotal point in his development, Hawks remembered when he did similar things as his quirk and human aspects developed and evened out.
He knew he would mostly grow out of it but for now?
He has to keep his little one occupied.
Hawks used one of his tails to distract his son, letting him chase it around his office so that he would stop swatting his ankles and he could finish his work, his baby sure was a little genocidal maniac-- well the cat aspect was.
He wasn't allowed at the zoo for a while...
"Ow!" He looked down to see his son nibbling on his wing and sighed, lifting the boy up "hello, kitten" he said to the tot who chewed on his own hand and hawks took it out before popping a pacifier in his mouth "you hungry? You're more of an ankle biter than usual" he teased the babe who let him carry him around "how about we order some chicken? You want chicken my little hunter?" The boy began bouncing happily "iken!" He said excitedly and hawks grinned before having his assistant get some for them.
The two sat at the coffee table so (name) could stand and enjoy it while standing, a way he preferred eating and Hawks wasn't about to judge it as the boy ate his popcorn chicken with a lazy swish of his tail.
The hunter was satiated.
For now.
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bluesgras · 2 years ago
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ough. ow. oof. ouchie
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and of course, Leo never looked back. why bother, y'know?
this is the leo being protective comic you all voted on a while back. i didn't NEED to make it this long but i chose to sooo. anyway, commission me.
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i-cant-sing · 9 months ago
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Hello! I read your Baldwin fics and gotta say that they're really good! I can't help but smile when I read them.
I saw you respond to an ask about him and pregnancy and I remembered this fact about how women are SUPPOSED to give birth standing up/kneeling/squatting because it makes the process not only quicker but less painful, and how there was a special basket + a midwife who'd catch the baby. It apparently used to be very popular, until some king I don't remember the name of decided he liked watching births, which was only possible if the woman was laying down. And over time (presumably bc that king had women do this multiple times), giving birth while laying down became more and more popular.
All this to say... If/when y/n gives birth to their baby, would he want her to do it kneeling/squatting or laying down?
???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN???? OFC BALDWIN AKA GREENEST FLAG YANDERE wouldnt want you to suffer. Child birth is a dangerous feat as is, he cant ever be happy by watching you suffer. Any way/position that would has the lowest chances of pain is the way to go. Lets say that if reader does get pregnant and is about to deliver, do you have any idea of his turmoil? HIS STRESS AS HE HEARS YOU WHIMPER AND SCREAM IN PAIN??? HE HAS HALF THE MIND TO KNOCK YOU OUT AND RIP THE CHILD OUT OF YOU- MAYBE EVEN PUNT IT IN ADRENALINE RUSH BECAUSE NO ONE-! NO ONE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU.
If the physicians are like "but your majesty, the queen needs to bear a little longer/needs to be in this painful position for the safety of the baby-" fuck that child, he doesnt need a stupid heir- not when it would compromise your health.
I feel like after you have delivered the first baby, and if it was like a particularly traumatising event for you two, not only would he apologise but he would even promise that you dont need to try for another one again- even if his advisors suggest otherwise.
Its actually heartbreaking to see how he almost LOSES HIS MIND when you go into labour. He's listening to you scream and it takes every fibre in his being to not rip his hair out in distress. His heart practically sinks at the thought of you dying mid labour and he wants to smash his head for ever thinking this was a good idea.
Once all is said and done, he'd just have his "bundle of joy" swaddled in one arm while he sits on the bed by your side, whispering a string of apologies to your unconscious self, kissing your sweaty temple over and over again with tears pooled in his eyes.
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deadsetobsessions · 11 months ago
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Spider in Gotham AU- Pt.2
[Pt.1]
Peter’s no stranger to memories that comes as nightmares. There’s something different to them, the taste of terror that’s tinged with a feeling of “that’s happened.”
Flashes of Aunt May, dying as he stood next to her while choosing the city over her? Old hat. Inky darkness surrounding MJ falling as Peter reached for her, over and over again? Been there, seen that, didn’t even get a sick scar out of it. Racing against the clock to defeat some bad guy or an unknown threat? That’s his Thursday.
But this?
This isn’t his. It’s real, Peter could tell that much. Sure, it’s wrapped up in silk hisses and heart crushing terror, but Peter could always tell whether a nightmare was a nightmare or whether it was a memory.
This was a memory. Not his. His. It’s complicated.
“Your father, papito, he-,”
Then, it’d be the ruffle of his hair, brown eyes. It reminded him of his mom. But the crease of these eyes were different. Hardened, mean. Even towards him.
“Well, he said no, but I knew what he really wanted.”
The base of Peter’s neck always crawled when he remembered that line. His spider-sense warned him that whatever he’s remembering, he would not like.
“Ey, Peter.”
“Huh?” Peter blinked, looking up from where his arms were elbow deep in wires.
“Don’cha need gloves with that?” Frank asked, munching on some jerky. They were sitting in the living room, repairing a TV and a washer Frank had somehow managed to lug back to the apartment. It’s a toss up between Frank’s network of orphans (Peter included), street rats (these things are not mutually inclusive), or his own slightly higher than average strength. Not that they needed to thrift broken things, considering Peter’s funneling money from offshore bank accounts belonging to this America’s 1%. They just made it so easy! He and Ned had been hacking into government bases in middle school back on his world. This world? Not even a challenge. Regardless, this was kind of like… Frank’s version of those fancy sensory boxes for Peter.
“Oh, no. It’s not plugged in, see?”
“How’re ya gunna know it works then?”
“Plug it in after I’m done. Turn it off and on, you know?”
Frank stared at him, then rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.
“If you burn down that portion of the house, at least we’ll be warm for a bit.”
“Thanks. Your confidence in me is astounding.”
“You talk like an old man.”
“I do not! Excuse you! If I’m old, you’re the expired knock off cup ramen in the back of a convenience store!”
“Yo, shrimpy, that’s rude, ya hear?” Frank snickered, impressed at the quip. The Alley kid turned brother stood up to plop next to Peter.
“So… you gonna go…?” Frank made a whooshing sound and held his hand in a web shooter position.
“Tonight? Prolly. Anything I should look out for?”
“You’re gunna get yourself killed, but yeah, heard the gang’s back up north.”
Peter flashed a smile, dimples coming out. “I’ll try not to. Thanks, Frank.”
“Anytime, Spidey.”
Frank, though little (to Peter), was a good friend. Then again, considering Peter saved his ass both in mask and out of it, it’s to be expected. One would think that after eight years of hiding his identity, Peter would be better at it. Then, he got punted into a different world and got made by a child.
To be fair, the circumstances all but screamed Parker Luck, so Peter’s not counting this instance.
See, the first few days of this sudden cohabitation, Peter had asked Frank to find them furniture. Both because he was getting real sick of eating on the floor and because Peter needed to fix his suit to match his much younger body. Then, once he readjusted the shrinking nanotech and the spider legs to fit him in a way that wouldn’t break him, Peter had promptly swung out of the building and went patrolling. He stuck with the wandering Frank, taking out muggers and robbers and everything in between and past that around the area where Frank is.
Looking back, Peter realized how lucky he was when he decided to go on the “helping joyride” at the beginning of the evening. His spider-sense activated way later in the night, the moment where he began seeing and sensing the cameras that kept pointing towards him. He ducked and dodged out of the way, and eventually, the feeling left. Somebody was watching. And he doesn’t know where they stood on the moral side of things.
Anyways, it happened after three weeks and a half of going out and just… settling into life in Gotham. He had already been struggling to find a way home, scouring the libraries around Gotham on any subject that would aid in his multiversal travel. Peter would like to know which emo kid named this city.
Eventually, Parker Luck decided to strike once more.
“Get back, freak!” The lady brandished a wicked knife.
Talk about deja vu.
“Oh no! Knives! My greatest weakness!” Spider-Man yelled, sticking to the shadowed windows as he let his voice echo in the alley. Gotham had a lot of nice hiding places. Spider-man dropped down on her head like a bat out of hell and webbed the knife out of her hands. He webbed the mugger up onto the alleyway above normal reach, and told the man to call the police.
Frank screamed, just as Spider-man wrapped it up, loud enough to reach his enhanced hearing.
“Wait-!” The man tried to stop him, but Peter, small, trained, and having readjusted his reach, slipped away.
“What’s your name?!” The guy he saved yelled at his back.
Spider-man, distracted, yelled back, “SPIDEY!”
He shot webs upwards and used them to slingshot his way towards where Frank was. And… car! Peter used his webs to swing up, up, and let himself fall to gain momentum. At the last moment, Peter shot a web to the top of the car and pulled himself to it.
Shit, shit, shit. He’s stupidly attached to the kid, and he was stupid enough to let Frank go out into Gotham looking both well-fed and well clothed.
The world slowed as he locked eyes with a terrified Frank, who was getting dragged into a car.
The world narrowed to speed and Spider-Man landed on top of the car roof, sweeping his leg out and thankfully remembering his much shorter reach. His foot collided with the kidnapper’s face with the equivalent force of a grown up, slightly annoyed Peter Parker who’s letting his strength go a bit unchecked. Basically, they went flying, blood spewing out of the undoubtedly broken nose Spider-Man had just given them.
Standing on business, the shorter webster promptly flipped down wards as he all but glued the would-be kidnapper to the curb.
“You alright?”
“You’re- You’re that new mask.” Frank whispered, scuttling away from the car where he’d been dropped.
“Yeah, man. You okay?” His voice modulator came in clutch.
“Fuck. Fuck, I gotta-” Frank stumbled. The kid looked like he was one bad break away from snapping. Peter hated it when kids got that terrified look on their faces, it reminded him of himself, helpless as Ben bled out because they should never have to fear something that much.
Something’s wrong, though. As much as Peter wished otherwise, Frank was a Gotham bred and true alley kid, through and through. These kids don’t spook easily. Peter already stopped a couple of kidnappings and at least two of the kids had yelled at him to stay out of the way before unloading a rain of nut kicks on their kidnappers that left Peter wincing for days in sympathy. Frank being this spooked? Something’s going on.
“Woah, easy there, I’m not gonna hurt you,”
Frank shot him a half hysterical, half condescending look. Yeah, that’s more like it.
“Ob-obviously. I have to go before more of them comes,” Frank muttered.
“More of them? You know what they want?”
Frank stared at him, looking up and down at his blue, red, and gold ensemble.
“I can help,” Peter promised.
“What’re your thoughts on metas?”
Suspicious.
“Uh, they’re fine? Depends on the person, why?”
Frank sighed. The skinny teenager, barely 14, tugged at his hair. “They’re traffickers. Meta kids, mostly, so the Bats don’t do nothing. I- uh, I got caught.” He held up a thin wrist, showing Peter his new accessorie, a think metal bracelet that was beeping red.
Peter cursed in his head. Fuck, of course he’d stumble into a-
“Caught? You’re a meta?”
Frank nodded. “Strength. This is an inhibitor, illegal kind, you know?”
Well, that explained how he got all of those furniture without struggle.
“Right. Hey, don’t stress, kid, I’m a meta too.”
Frank blinked.
“What?”
Peter walked up the side of the car and did jazz hands.
“You’re a meta?! But- but you’re a mask operating in Gotham!”
“Yeah…? Is that weird?”
Before Frank could reply, Peter’s sense screamed and Spider-Man shoved Frank away from the spray of bullets.
“Move, Frank!”
Peter flipped away, vaguely aware of Frank’s gaping realization. He took down the shooters in quick succession, stopping the speeding car with his bare hands and some webs.
“Shooters, no shooting!” He yelled, liberally applying force he tended to keep under wraps. Frank was like a brother to him, and there is no universe where Peter Parker would hold back when his family was in danger.
When he got back to Frank, who had oddly stayed instead of running, Peter found out why the kid stayed.
“Peter?!” Frank hissed lowly, looking more pissed off than terrified. “Are you fucking insane?! Why are you running ‘round as a mask?!”
“Shhh!” Shit, he got made. “Come on, get back to the apartment and we can talk there. I’ll get rid of this-”
Peter casually snapped the bracelet in half, tearing the tracker out, and tucked it away to study later.
“Fuckin’- shit, fine, but you’re explaining everything, motherfucker!”
They split, Peter guessing correctly that he was in another lecture of a lifetime.
——
“Your vigilante name is Spiderman?”
“Hey, I can hear you say it without the hyphen! There’s a hyphen in there!”
“You’re not a man! You’re a twerp!”
“I’ll show you twerp, you-”
Five minutes of tussling later, in which Peter did not try to bite Frank’s arm off, thank you very much, Frank leaned back on the couch.
“Besides. People in the streets are calling you Spidey, anyways.”
“Spidey?”
“Some dude you saved from a mugging said you told him.”
Peter slammed his head on the floor where he was laying face down.
“Ughhhh.”
——
“He could have been great. I saw his potential.”
Anger. But he shouldn’t be afraid. The woman loved him.
“Hey, Peter. You’re up here again.”
“Hi.” Peter stayed curled up. His mind had refused him sleep for the last three nights, causing dark circles to appear underneath his eyes. The memories of what he assumed to be this world’s Peter was merging with his. What he’d seen so far did not fill him with confidence of a happy childhood. Flashes of wielding weapons, the sterile smell of a metal dissection table, and hundreds and hundreds of spiders crawling over him, getting startled into biting down. Plus, the stress of tracking down the meta trafficking circles in Gotham was no joke. He doesn’t know Gotham nearly as well as he knew New York, and he had to be extra careful running around and trying to catch every bit of the circle before making any moves. Frank was helping with his network of homeless Meta kids, but the traffickers were everywhere except for Crime Alley.
He should be dead. They sold his body to an organ harvester who dumped his venom filled corpse on the side of Gotham. At least he didn’t have to worry about killing his alternate version.
“Everything all right?” Red Robin clambered down to sit next to him, cowl hiding the concerned scrunch of his brow. He’s never seen Peter like this.
Peter grumbled, staring down at another alleyway. He knows his alternate died. His shit excuse for another sold his body to an organ harvester, when he seized on the operating table, who dumped his venom filled corpse on the side of Gotham. At least he didn’t have to worry about killing his alternate version. He does, however, have to worry about missing vital organs.
“I… remembered something.” Peter remembered a lot of things. And pretty much none of them were good. This Peter suffered a lot in his short life.
Red Robin nodded. The issue of Peter’s spotty memories had come up in their discussions over the past month.
“Ah. Something unpleasant?”
Peter thought back to the voice who, despite all of the other, highly traumatic memories, haunted his brain like nothing else.
“He didn’t live up to it. He refused to kill. So I made the decision for him.”
“Yeah. Not for me, but unpleasant that I know about it.”
“Yeah, I get that. You wanna talk about it?” Peter hid a small smile. Even though Red Robin kept his tone light, the concern still bled through. Warm. It made Peter feel warm. Even if it appeared that the Bats don’t really care about the trafficked meta kids… maybe Red Robin would come save normal kid Peter if he got kidnapped. A backup plan to consider. For now…
“Sure,” he said. Red Robin waited patiently.
“I think, I remember someone. Maybe, maybe my…” Peter grimaced. “My mom? She… told me something. And uh, I think I’maproductofrape.”
“Oh,” Red Robin said, so awkwardly that Peter had to crack a small smile despite the gravity of the topic. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Me too. Not myself, but for…” Peter waved a hand. “You know.”
“Yeah.”
“She wasn’t a good person,” Peter whispered and hated how he missed the browns of her eyes- her middle name was Marie, and god, Peter wished he hadn’t known that because he gets why her eyes reminded him so much of his own mother- and she besmirched everything Mary Parker stood for.
“You have our combined potential, Peter. Make sure not to be like him too much and live up to it, papito.”
“It’s okay, to love her even if she hurt other people,” Red Robin said, gently ruffling his greasy hair. Peter’s spidey-sense tingled and he ducked away. Red Robin withdrew his hand. “Because you can’t really help that. Trust me, I’ve tried. You just have to make sure they don’t get the chance to do what they did again.”
Cold, cold voices and his voice gave out from screaming. “You really are your father’s son. Never being able to do what’s necessary.”
And Peter wondered what happened to Red Robin and who hurt him. Peter would just like to talk. Red Robin reminded him of himself, way back when being Spider-Man meant finding out Harry became Green Goblin. Pained. Tired.
“Yeah,” Peter agreed. But that’s not really a problem, considering the last thing the organ harvester said before dumping him in an alley. “She’s dead in a ditch in Siberia or something. I’m not really worried she’ll do it again.”
“Uh.”
“It’s cool,”
“Right. Have you… remembered your dad?”
“Yeah. He’s in Gotham,” Peter unfurled a little.
“You want help tracking him down? I’m good at that kind of thing.”
Peter glanced at Red Robin. “I think you just admitted to being a stalker.”
“Vigilante,” Red Robin shrugged, like it explained everything. And yeah, it kind of did. Peter snorted.
“Nah, it’s okay. I don’t want to meet him anyways.”
“Why not?”
“He doesn’t know about me,” Peter ticked off his fingers. “I’m a literal walking, talking, breathing reminder of his trauma. And I don’t need a dad.”
Red Robin looked at him silently. Peter doesn’t think about it.
He never wanted to see his parents suffer. An alternate version of his dad, hurt so irrevocably by an alternate version of his mom?
Peter hated that this Catalina dirtied his mother’s name, and went against the most fundamental parts of what the spider symbol was meant for. And considering he’s been doing this longer than her, he had first dibs on defining it. He’ll look after his dad, as long as he’s stuck in Gotham. It’s only right.
“His name? Oh, my son, it’s Richard Grayson.”
——
Peter, who Trusts his instincts: no head rubs?? awwwww
Tim, who’s been trying to get a dna sample for the last month: how does he keep evading me?? He must be a genius or a spy or- *spirals down the conspiracy board*
——
Tim: I’ve connected the dots!
Peter: you’ve connected jack shit
——
Listen, the moment I learned Catalina Flores’ middle name, the pieces clicked, okay? Like legos. It’s like, former FBI agent in this one and former CIA agent in Peter’s home universe? Wow. Middle name Marie? Mary Parker? Incredible. Spider themes run in the blood apparently?? They both have brown eyes!! Trying to do good with no qualms about murder!! (I’m assuming since Mary Parker was SHIELD and I don’t think SHIELD cared much for the sanctity of human life if it threatened the country or something)
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greenunoreversecard · 11 months ago
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Kai,llyod, and Cole hc of them with a s/o that's kinda like a child of aphrodite from pjo? A bit more like piper though, they hate their gift and have to deal with cat callers alot?
I got cat called by way older men on the way home so this would be really comforting.
A/N:sorry it took so long to get this out for you. Ik my words can't offer much, but I'm sorry you get catcalled, it's not a fun feeling.
Sugar and spice-> Gn! Reader
individual headcanons of kai, cole and lloyd with a stunning S/O
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Kai:
Kai, despite being extremely similar to his element in a multitude of ways, is an utter gentleman.
Hes always respectful of you, and makes sure to ask before he touches you in anyway, and is respectful with his eyes as well
With this said, as you guys grow close and start dating, he becomes uber protective of you.
He knows your very stunning.
And he knows others know that as well.
But alot of times, these people are creepy and go about saying: "hi, your outfit is cool" weirdly
And so he won't hesitate to punt a bitch into the sun
Most likely to throw a punch before a word leaves the creeps mouth.
And if your ever feeling gross and icky bc of the creeps?
Bros pulling out every stop.
Hes getting Zane to make a 10 course Michelin star meal, he's getting your comfort items, a hoodie (yours or his, doesn't matter) and he's becoming a 10/10 massager
Hes getting self care items, and a bath along with movies and cuddles with a side of shoulder to cry on
But if you get angry about the creeps??
He eggs you on. Agrees with you"YEAH BABE, FUCK THOSE ASSWIPES"
he will actively encourage any fist fights fights want to start with them
Hes your number 1 hype man, as well as comforter
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Cole:
This man worships the ground you walk on. Just generally
Also drinks the respect tea (all of them do)
Hes always telling you how amazing you look, and even gives advice for anything you may need
Clothes? Food? Whatever hobby your working on?
He just has a eye for style of all categories
Hes generally also more down to earth, and realizes its much more than looks that makes a person
Which is why it takes him a bit longer to confess, as he wanted to get to know you better first (this man is demiromantic and demisexual)
Hes also fucking oblivious
So when people are more... sly about their intentions, like wording and such, he prolly won't notice
But the second he gets wind of what they are tryna pull
Hes super passive aggressive
And he slings a arm around your shoulder, or hides you behind him
Trys to talk it out first, and if they don't catch the hint they will catch his hands
Hes not... great with comfort tbh
His mom's dead and his dad's lowkey emotionally unavailable so he's not good at it
But he will rub your back when you cry, and buy takeout
He'll also prolly ask kai or Jay about how to comfort you better, bc both had either a sibling or parent.
He would ask Nia buts she's a younger sibling with a emotional brick wall of a brother so it's next to never she did some comforting.
Hes a little confused when it comes to comfort but Hes got spirit
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Lloyd:
He has always been a little silly
So expect to bark at your aggressors
Idk why I just see him barking at your catcallers
Besides that
Hes always relied more on personality for if he likes someone, like cole
Not that kai doesn't care for personality he does, but looks plays a bigger factor for kai than they do cole and lloyd
Anyways
Off topic
Lloyd doesn't make a big deal how you look. Like doesn't comment on your outfits like cole.
Doesnt mean he doesn't think you don't look nice, bc he thinks you look lovely always
But moreso doesn't give a fuck
Wear a potato sack, or go naked, he doesn't give a fuck he just wants to get to the mall before it closes to he can check out the anime shops
He Def has a idrc additude, especially in dragon rising i feel, so I think if you want compliments you'd have to be outright about it, whereas the other two just kinda;"aww my partner is lovely🥰🥰"
And he's like;"babe, love you to bits and pieces but hurry the fucketh upeth I wanna get there before the fucking store closes"
And bc of that he's also the worst at comfort
Like he's always been told to suck it up so he kinda just is like... cool you done? And stands there awkwardly. He will get better with time, but please explain how to help better for future moments bc he was a Lil scared when you started crying.
Anyways back to the beginning about when mfs are being creepy
Barks at them
Fr barks
Bc it weird them out and he thinks it's funny
Or just tries to be as weird as possible
Like starts acting possessed
Crawls backwards on all fours like the lady from the ring or smth
If generally weirdness doesn't work he fights them
Though he tries to scare them off first
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Can I have Yandere Malleus, Jamil, Floyd and Leona with a fem reader whose kid brother transported along with them to twisted wonderland? MC’s little brother is a bratty bully that she’s protective of because she had to act like a mother to him since they don’t have any parents. Her little brother can be very protective of his big sister and constantly antagonises the yanderes any chance he gets and when the time comes for them to kidnap MC, her little brother would do anything to stop them.
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Kid Brother | Yandere Twisted Wonderland
Similar to Spirit your brother is the deterrent for your obsessive suitors. But rather than protecting you through strength and perception, your baby brother’s aim is in his pull over his beloved older sibling. As the eldest sibling its natural you be as attentive as possible; its a given those interested will be less than stellar about it:
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Malleus Draconia 
“Aw sorry Malleus, his stomach is hurting. No doubt he’s probably just got to go to the bathroom but just in case.”
“Perhaps Lilia can care for him? He has plenty of experience with children.”
“Noooo I want (YYYYYY/nnnn)!”
He doesn’t suspect much 
Not until a blatant attempt to propose to you is flubbed by your brother’s interjection
Than he’s alerted 
And he’s mad
He’ll need Lilia and Silver to bring him down from striking a child with magical lightning
In the end he’ll cope with it like its your child his child
“I see. The young one needs correcting and in honor of my love for (Y/n), I’ll be sure to…reprimand him properly.”
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Jamil Viper  
“(Y/n)!!! He’s scary! Let’s go home!”
“...Fat chance. ~Tell the truth.~”
“I just want (Y/n) to take me away from you because you threatened to cook me.”
“...”
“...It…was a badly timed joke.”
Hypnotising children is usually easy
But your brother is such a snot nose it might backfire
But Jamil is slick and he doesn’t have morals 
So if given the chance to punt the little thorn in his side 
He will take it
‘Jokes’ aside he’s going to most likely shove him off towards the one person that can keep up with him 
“How about you and Kalim go on a magic carpet ride? Yeah that’ll keep you busy, right?”
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Floyd Leech 
“Stay away from (Y/n) or ’ll beat you up!”
“Oh yeah?”
“...Yeah.”
“Yeah?”
Floyd is usually good with kids
Usually he’s able to get on their wavelength and have a good time 
But when he’s not doing that he’s used to making adults wet their pants
And he’s most likely going to do that
He can worry about being friendly with your kid after he’s shown them who’s really protecting you
“Oi oi why don’t we…work together. Shrimpy’ll like that, right?”
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Leona Kingscholar
“Grrr. Back off kit we’re talking.”
“LAlalala (Y/n)! (Y/n)! (Y/n)! (Y/n)! I’m hungry.”
“I’ve got a knuckle sandwich for ya then.”
“Leona!” 
He should probably remind you what male lions do when they establish their rule over a pride
He doesn’t bother arguing with the rat because he’s too stupid to get it
But you’re not 
And unless you don’t want to be a single sibling 
You’ll tell him to shape up
“Ah (Y/n) does the rat really want to bother us now?”
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nintendont2502 · 3 months ago
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MABEL NO
nooo girl dont say yes
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abyssal-author-and-artist · 4 months ago
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I love the Gravity Falls fandom because, like, you can headcanon any character as trans in any direction with like. Three exceptions.
Uh, headcanons below cut I guess
Dipper? We can make a good case for trans masc and trans femme. I tend towards trans masc because he's a little guy and just like me fr fr, but like, I like her, too, I find her cute in the punt-that-small-child-(affectionate) way.
Stan and Ford? Well, they're identical and I've seen a lot of them both being transmasc which I love and trans femme Stan and Ford actually make me feral. I need to do some things with transfemme Stan and Ford actually, I've seen them floating around and they're so cute and wholesome. Old trans sisters to me.
Side headcanon, Stan and Ford are extremely accepting even if they're cishet. Like Stan to me knew queer people in New York who died in the AIDS crisis. Like he can name people on the AIDS quilt to me and the only reason he wasn't hit by it and didn't die to it is he had to move to Gravity Falls. And Ford has a weird conception of gender that's shockingly progressive because multiverse.
Soos, okay, well, I haven't seen trans Soos around but like. First of all, super neglected character (I say as I do nothing with him). And second of all we are SLEEPING on trans Soos. A couple of the reasons for transfemme Dipper hold up here, mostly being the going-only-by-a-nickname thing. But also like, Soos's abuelita seems like just the most tolerant person ever and would so just go "Oh. I have a grandson/daughter now." and move on with her life. And also can someone draw transfemme Soos because I have a vision and if you saw it you'd agree because I can't get over her but like I can't even describe it it's just. Transfemme Soos in a corset. Transfemme Soos putting on a skirt for the first time. You feel me? Oh, and nonbinary Soos, too, just like. Soos went from very cis to the most gender human being ever to me very fast.
The three exceptions to me are Wendy, Mabel, and Pacifica (and it's up for debate whether Pacifica's even an exception).
Mabel is always transfemme. She can't for the life of me be a guy and I can't explain why. She's either transfemme or cis. Sorry, that's a girl to me and she always will be.
Wendy is either a cis woman or a trans man, and probably honestly falls on either extremely-masculine-man or tomboy-cis-woman for me. I can't really see her as transfemme.
And Pacifica is trans masc to me. I don't even see him as cis, he's just a guy. A man. Alternatively, the reason he's one of the execptions is because I was working on Divine Falls stuff and I went "what if he's genderfluid lol" and then "oh wait that's actually cool" so he's either a trans man or genderfluid to me, but like. He's genderfluid in the "getting my tits cut off and taking hormones does not make my gender one thing, I am unknowable and my gender is whatever pisses you off the most" sorta way. (Unrelated I think genderfluid Pacifica would do great on Tumblr)
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mono-dot-jpeg · 2 years ago
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child! reader w/blade, yanqing, natasha, & gepard
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summary; thoughts being thunk about cute scenarios with child! reader
genre/extra tags; fluff, blade is probably ooc, don't give blade a child, yanqing being a big brother, yanqing and reader gang up on jingyuan, natasha my beloved, gepard big brother arc, but gepard is an awkward big brother, whoops my hand slipped now there's angst (natasha's part), blade wants to punt a kid (/hj)
[gender neutral! reader] [child 7-9! reader] [platonic]
[warnings; implied for reader to be heavily sick often (natasha)]
a/n; *smacks my head* this baby holds loads of child!reader ideas, thanks to their family being the way their family is. good ol' trauma. you didn't pick any characters in particular other than just non-express crew characters. hope you enjoy
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it's a fucking miracle that you're even standing next to this man. kafka just had to give you to him. luckily, blade is less violent than he looks. and luckily for you, you hold no fear.
"you look ugly like that." you point at him, your tiny finger inching a little too close to his eye. "why do you look like that?" kafka stifles a laugh as she watches from afar.
"i can't believe i want to punt a child." he mutters. "i don't know, why do you look like that?" he retaliates.
"look like what? ms. kafka says i'm cute!" your hand goes limp to rest on your lap.
"you are anything but cute, you devil spawn."
you gasped, "ms. kafka! blade is being mean!" you get up to run to the woman, who is laughing silently. "he called me a devil spawn... whatever that means!"
"it means you're tiny. and stupid." blade says, watching as you hide behind kafka's leg.
"no, you're stupid!" you stick your tongue out at him.
"you little sh-"
"curse jar!"
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"yannie!" you cheered loudly.
"y/n!" he cheers back. you run to him as he picks you up. "do you want to walk around today?" you nodded. "let's go get some allowance from the general first!"
"jing!" you and yanqing arrive at the general's office.
"if it isn't our little cloud knight." jingyuan watches as the young blonde puts you down to go run at him. "i could only wonder what you are doing here with yanqing."
"i wan' to explore with yanqing!" you climb up jingyuan's legs as he watches with a fond gaze.
"is that so?"
you nodded, "but me 'n yan need help." jingyuan looks at you confused before turning to look at yanqing.
"we need some money, general..." jingyuan raises an eyebrow, glancing at you who shows him puppy eyes. and then yanqing tries to play off his ask with an innocent grin.
jingyuan can't help but sigh, "for a lieutenant and a little cloud knight, you two sure are sly." he smiles gently.
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"you think we can annoy serval?" an impish grin starts to grow on your face.
"we really shouldn't do that." gepard chides you. you groan.
"but i'm so bored! she's got cool ga- gad-gets."
"gadgets."
"yeah! i wanna see them! i wanna watch serval work!"
"she's probably busy, y/n." you huffed as you struggled in gepard's arms, "stop it!"
"what can we do then?" you pouted. "what do you wanna do?"
awkward silence...
"my idea is better! let's go see big sis!" you tug on his clothes as if it would anything to make him move faster.
"how about we make something for serval? wouldn't that be fun?"
"hm? making something like a gad-gets?"
"gadget. yeah, maybe something like that. or we can draw something for her, and she can put it up somewhere."
"yeah, let's do that!" you cheered, walking alongside gepard and putting your hand in his.
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it's no doubt that your parents would leave you in the care of the nicer-est nurse in town (your words, not hers). even if you were a not so amazing state, you can't help but still be happy.
"i think you're a superhero, ms. natasha. i wanna make a story about you!" you've always been a creative soul, it was one of the few things you can do with being bedridden for days on end. writing was a favorite. but you really liked making comics.
"i'm just doing my job, dear. i think you should make a story about yourself." natasha speaks with fondness as she distracts you from getting a shot. "you're just as strong as a hero." her voice is bittersweet but you don't notice it.
"how about i make a story about us? we can be the best-est heroes in the world!" you beamed at your own genius suggestion. "i can be your sidekick!"
"i would love to see that story someday." she smiles. "i know it will be amazing as always." she places a band aid where your shot was taken. her thumb brushes over it once, then again. "i'll even put it up by your bed. framed and everything."
she just hopes you live to see another day.
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