#i need this out of my brain before bed
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Back to arranged marriage! Gojo
As much as he might be overly confident and unfairly handsome, he's completely out of his element on your wedding night. Even though he was in his twenties, he had yet to be with anyone the way he was going to be with you now. The vow to "stay pure until your marriage" didn't really mean much to him but it's the fact that he had made a promise to you that made him stick to it.
So when the wedding night comes and he's got you spread out under him on the bed, the sight of your naked body sending fire burning through his veins, he's unsure of himself for probably the first time in his life. And you know the moment he casts his ethereal blue eyes to you in an almost pleading manner, so you shift your legs up around his waist and lay a soft hand against his cheek.
"Just take it slow".
He nods with a deep breath, positioning himself before popping the head past your entrance. It's a snug fit that nearly sends all of the air rushing from his lungs as you dig your nails into his shoulders, whining and squirming as his hands held your hips.
You gave a quiet shriek as he tore through your virgin wall, his hips stilling as you adjust to the intrusion and he kisses away the tears leaking down your cheeks. But he can't help but feel... prideful? Victorious? Triumphant? All of those wrapped into one as your blood stains his cock. You're his. Only his. No one would ever be with you like this, feel connecting to you like this. That was a high he could ride for the rest of his life. Along with the high of feeling your tight cunt fully squeeze around him for the first time.
Satoru barely recognized his own voice as he wreathed and panted and cried out for you, drool running from his lips as he fucked into you. God he was trying to go slow, he really was, but when you were sucking him in like that and practically milking his cock it was impossible. He'd never felt anything as incredible as you cumming around his sensitive dick before and it was more than enough to drag a strangled moan from his chest as he pumped you full, thick spurts of virgin cum filling your insides to the brim. Before you know it he's got you on top of him, your nipple in his mouth as he thrusts his still leaking cock up against your sensitive pussy as he whines.
"Can we go again? Please?"
#i need this out of my brain before bed#gojo satoru smut#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo smut#tw arranged marriage#arranged marriage gojo#em talks đ#late night ramblings đ#tw loss of virginity
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He always says thatâsomedayâheâll get you without the cameras.Â
Itâs a vow he whispers to you between gritted teeth one day on set when heâs got your legs tossed over his shoulders. Your feet play peek-a-boo behind Kyleâs head, wiggling with each thrust he makes deep into your cunt, relentlessly forcing himself inside as the crew records the debauched imagery, burning it into film for it to be viewed by thousands of strangers online.Â
But Kyle likes it better this wayâup close. Having you all to himself; almost. Every millimeter that your lip parts, the very creasing of your brows as he pushes deeper and deeper, the unobstructed symphony of your moans falling across his ears, soaking into his psyche, burning, burrowing, growing. Shockwaves ripple throughout your body, forcing your hands to grip his shoulders, holding on lest you deliquesce into the bed.Â
Thatâs exactly what he wantsâfor you to melt beneath his touch. For you to let go of the synthetic lights in your face and the pounds of makeup smudged on your cheeksâfor you to stop the nervous glances in the corner of your eyes as you follow prying footsteps and a bored crew as they twiddle their thumbs and scroll on their phones.Â
âGazâŚâ Your voice breaks in a gasp, a pathetic moan separated by the sharp thrusts of his hips against yours, breath stolen away before it could properly expel.Â
But this isnât his real name. Just the facade he wears for the videos. For the fans. For everyone.Â
Everyone but you.Â
âThatâs it, doll,â he croons, hips rolling, tenebrous eyes boring through you like a stake.Â
He witnesses youâeyes unblinkingâbut youâre not looking at him. No, youâre staring just over his shoulder. In the distance. Eyes caught up in the lens as you make facesâforced faces, something for show, something thatâs fake, faux, disgusting. Itâs not real. All a performance. So caught up in your own head and thoughts that he no longer feels the fluttering of your cunt as strongly as it was just a moment before. Distracted. Severed.Â
âHey-âÂ
His voice is strong, but not sharp. Firm fingers dig into either side of your jaw as Kyle forces your head to turn, for your eyes to focus on whatâs importantâhim. Your pleasure. Not the hulking camera behind his toned shoulders, but the way his cock bullies deep into you, each kiss of skin against skin the backtrack to the melody of your gasps.Â
âDid you hear me, doll?â he whispers. You see the way his grin pulls at his lips, ever soft like velvet against your neck. âIâm gonna get you without these cameras someday. I promise you.âÂ
Thenâit snaps. Fractures. Uncoils so deliciously, licking down the back of your legs and through your core until your stomach and cunt are both left fluttering. This time when your eyes leave him, itâs not to focus on some malevolent camera, but to roll into the back of your head with shaky legs and nails digging into his deltoids. Head falling into the side of your neck, he smothers his grin and mirth into your skin. He lets it bleed. Lets it fester.Â
âThere we go, just like that, doll. Just like that,â he murmurs.Â
As the roll of his hips slow, allowing you to ride your orgasm out without burning your synapses too much for the next round, he repeats his mantra. This promise to himself. This oath to you. This will fade. There will be no microphones, or equipmentâjust you, him, and the melding of your skin.Â
One day, anyway.
#ilium writing#kg ilia#ps!gaz#kyle garrick x reader#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#female reader#yeah i may have lost all my old ps!gaz shit when i deleted my old blog but they are on my brain again okay#also i'm half awake so if this doesn't make any sense ignore it okay i just needed to spew this drabble out really quick before bed
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15 with Eddie? :)
i woke up this morning, rolled over, and immediately wrote this all on my phone. wasn't even 8 am and i was already all mushy and horny for this man. enjoy whatever this is (morning sex. it's morning sex and being in love) <3
15. "I had a very nice dream that started like this."
warnings: smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), afab reader but no pronouns used, a lot of religious imagery idk why it just... worked?, not edited, 18+ so minors do not interact
pairings: eddie munson x afab!reader
wc: 2.9k+
join the smutty party! send me one of these smut dialogue prompts with a character
The sun hadnât even rose yet. The sky simply lighter, a gentle omniscient light peaking through the curtains, holding little to no warmth yet when you first awoke. The room is shades of grey with hints of violet, soft pinks just on the horizon but not quite painting the scene.Â
Itâs nice â itâs serene.
You can feel him breathing behind you. Still there, still warm, still holding you with one strong arm around your waist as his nose brushes at the nape of your neck, his snore rustling your hair ever so carefully. Itâs almost enough to soothe you back to sleep; counting his deep intakes of air, exhaling in time with him, sinking deeper into bed sheets that are stained with the smell of his cologne and shampoo. Almost.
But when you first awake, you have a different idea in mind.
It starts off innocent enough. Small movements as you press yourself further back into Eddie, minuscule wiggles to just be close to him. Youâre still half asleep and yet, every atom in your body is desperate to melt into him. You need every inch of his skin pressed tightly into yours. Your vision still blurry, but the instinct to burrow more tightly into your boy impossible to miss.
âI know youâre awake,â he suddenly murmurs into your neck, voice muffled and rough with his rest.
You hadnât even noticed the change in his breathing. More focused on the ache between your thighs that you had woken up with.Â
âSh,â you jokingly whisper, smiling as you force your eyes back closed. He canât even see your face, but it feels right to put on an act, âYouâre gonna ruin it, Munson.âÂ
ââM not ruining anything, baby,â he nearly slurs. His arm tightens around you, encouraging all your squirming, pulling your hips back to be flush with his a little more urgently.
Heâs hard against your lower back. His flimsy boxers do nothing to hide his excitement. It isnât particularly surprising â most mornings he wakes up hard as it is â but it does cause a soft stirring within you. Encourages your hips to swivel once more, action a bit more pointed, just enough pressure to cause a low groan to slip almost inaudible from between his lips.
âCareful,â he warns, voice a bit louder now. His tone is still gravely, scratching an itch of the farthest reaches of your mind. Somewhere between a catâs purr and the sound of tires on dirt roads when your favorite person is returning home. Comforting. Serene.Â
You press into him further, shamelessly grinding now, eyes still shut, âWhat? âM not doing anything.â
He doesnât need to see your voice to hear that sleepy grin.
It doesnât happen quickly â thereâs no rush as he slowly tugs at your body, encouraging you to rotate so that heâs no longer spooning you. Your back digs into the mattress holding the warmth of his body from the entire night, wrapping you up in a bliss thatâs impossible to replicate. His smell, his warmth, his presence. You donât think youâll ever tire of mornings like this, especially not when you finally open your eyes to find him propped up on his elbow, looking down at you with half-lidded eyes and a half-smile that accentuates his left dimple.Â
Heâs fucking beautiful. It takes your breath away.
âWhatâs got you so excited this morning, hm?âÂ
The light has grown ever so slightly brighter, just enough as though it whispers, look at him. The room is still grey, but your boy is a vision of colors. Dark russet eyes with streaks of gold that the sun couldnât compare to, chestnut hair that sticks up in all the wrong places from his slumber, skin that washes out in the pale winter morning and only makes the contrast of the soft fuchsias and violets blooming along his neck from the evening before more apparent. Heâs softer than any sunrise, more relaxing than any bath heâs ever drawn for you, more calming than hearing your favorite song strummed out on muted guitar strings.Â
You love him. And that only really fuels your flames.
âI had a very nice dream,â you mumble, squinting up at him, bringing a hand up to his cheek. Your touch is delicate as you trace over his stubble, painting mindless patterns briefly before cupping the full side of his face and threading your fingertips into the edges of his hairline, âA very nice dream that started just like this.âÂ
He rolls his hips against your side, peering down at you as he does so, letting you guide him closer until his lips barely brush yours.Â
You can hear birds chirping outside. Thereâs the rumble of a truck engine. The creak of a nearby front door opening and shutting.
The world is beginning to wake up, but youâre not quite yet ready to share the day with anyone but him.Â
âYou did, did you?â heâs awake enough now to tease you, body slowly inching its way over yours, arms on either side of your head to hold his weight. The plush comforter slips down, exposing his bare shoulders as his torso serves as your new blanket, âTell me âbout it, baby.âÂ
Your legs fall open instinctively, making a home for him and only him. A space between your thighs perfectly carved out for the shape and weight of him as he slips into place, hips digging into yours, a homely and familiar position youâve found yourself in a hundred times before.Â
It never gets old. It never elicits any less of a reaction from you, always pulling the softest of gasps from your throat as he leans his head down to trail his lips down your exposed neck.Â
The sound has him pulling you into him a bit more urgently, but his pace never quickens. Heâs taking his time. You two have all the time.
A car alarm, distant as could be, sounds off. A voice of a neighbor echos across the trailer park.Â
Maybe itâs an adoring husband wishing goodbye to his wife for the day. Or a mother, rushing her children for school. Thereâs a million and one scenarios, thousands of strangers beginning their dreary week, but you only care about the warm welcome of the day that he offers you.Â
Anything but dreary, even in tired morning light.
âYou were kissing my neck,â you say, careful to be as silent as can be, even if it were just the two of you in the room. The world doesnât need to know youâre awake yet; it doesnât deserve your attention like he does yet.
His teeth graze unintentionally against the soft spot below your ear, âLike this?â
âJust like that.â
For emphasis, you lift your hips, seeking out his with ease. You can feel him, pronounced as he presses against the thin fabric of your underwear. Thereâs too many layers between the two of you, too much cotton and linen in the shapes of his t-shirt youâd worn to bed and his damn boxers, but theyâll come off eventually.Â
Eventually. Thereâs no rush.
Your head tilts back in a sigh, and he pauses all his kisses to ask, âWhat next?â
âKeep going,â you squirm, hips continuing to roll, flames of desire lighting in your gut, dancing as soft as the morning light, âKeep going, please.âÂ
The night before, he would have teased your desperation.Â
But right now, with just you and him and the ghost of sleep, heâs not in the business of taunting.Â
He listens, a hand coming down to your hip. Not holding it down to the mattress, but simply holding. He lets his thumb slip beneath the t-shirt, lets a rough callous built up from years of guitar and working on his van brush roughly over your skin with the most sensitive of intentions.Â
Slowly. If the morning wasnât so heavy still on the two of you, weighing down every movement, slowing every reaction and pacing every adoring kiss, this is the part where the two of you might have grown a bit impatient. More nipping, more bruising gripping, more complaints of going further, further, further.Â
But today? In this moment? The two of you have time.Â
A dream sequence of his wandering hands slipping that old faded tee up until itâs finally bunched at your chest, until heâs finally peeling himself away from your body and heâs lifting it over your head. Every move is brimming with a love you never thought possible. A love to swim in, a love to sink into. One with the capability to drown the two of you, but it only breathes a new life into both of your lungs.Â
When his lips wrap around a nipple and your back arches, that love thrums a bit deeper, coiling up your insides and urging your fingers to tangle up into his curls.Â
You need him closer.
âSo beautiful,â he whispers against your skin as he mouths at it, âSo, so fucking beautiful.âÂ
The back of your skull digs deeper into a pillow engrained with the shape of your head from years of rest, a soft laugh slipping in between your blissful breaths, âDonât lie. Iâm a mess right now.âÂ
You were. And so was he. In a barely awake, subtle and tired way. Messy hair, messy marks of sleep across cheeks, messy breaths not yet minty from a morning routine the two of you followed like a religion.Â
His head lifts, eyes glowing in the limited light, âI like your mess. As a matter of fact, I love your mess.âÂ
His hand on your hip squeezes for emphasis.Â
You look down, wordless as you drink him in. A vision between the pinks dancing through the curtains, a godly presence as the dawn breaks. Heâs a salvation, a new beginning and a new ending. Heâs everything fairytales had tried to convince you existed in your youth. Prettier than any angel, warmer than any sun.Â
And heâs yours. In this moment, and in all the next ones.
âI think I can make an even bigger mess of you, though, if youâll let me,â a devilish smile finally overtakes his features and both of those dimples youâve become so unintentionally fond of make an appearance.Â
He dips his head, lowers his voice, lets his lips explore. You nearly pray to the Heavens above as you feel his hand slip from its gentle cupping of your hip, moving to slip nimble fingers beneath the band of your panties â but you donât. Not a single God would care about whatâs happening right now.
Just two people, two souls, twisting up in their bed sheets. Finding each other, finding divinity, before the sun even has a chance to stretch its arms fully over the horizon.
When he sinks lower and his face disappears beneath the cloak of the comforter, you hold your breath. When his mouth finds your cunt over fabric, you release it with a moan.
âThatâs it, baby,â he encourages, both hands pulling off your underwear, pressing a hard kiss one final time over the cotton before he slips them off, âKeep making those pretty noises for me.âÂ
Your thighs drape over his shoulders, heels digging into his back as he begins his morning worship. All lips and tongue and finding the right places as fast as possible. Not out of a rush, but out of practice. He knows your body like the back of his hand, and he proves it.Â
He knows exactly how hard to suck on your clit once heâs captured it between his lips. He knows exactly where to trace his tongue, circling your hole in lazy circles, not quite teasing but not quite succumbing as he lets you buck your hips in reckless abandon. When to speed up, when to slow down, when to add a finger and when to let the gravel of his voice vibrate against your core â he knows you. Through every little whimper, through every soft chanting of his name, through every tug of his hair.Â
And he knows you well enough to know when to stop his ministrations, pulling back only to crawl his way back up your body, his boxers slipping off somewhere in the process.Â
Youâre still all over his lips as he kisses you fervently, slick and sticky and a little tart as his tongue dives into your mouth.
And just as he knows you, you know him.
Youâd lied, of course. You hadnât really had a dream just like this. You canât even remember how youâd awoken with such want, but all that mattered is you had. Youâd woken up to an all-consuming need, even if your half-conscious state, and youâd woken up to him.
Your hand reaches down between the two of you, wrapping around him carefully. Your skin is still cooler than his, itâs always cooler than his in the dead of night, and he hisses at the content.
âI love you, you know?â you quietly confess to your lover, as though it might be a sin, as though it might be the greatest secret to ever be held on a patient tongue.Â
His skin is nearly velvet under your touch, pliant in your palm as you stroke him. Each movement and twist of your wrist begins to unravel him, his head dropping to the juncture between your shoulder and your neck. Every pant of his breath brushes skin just as his snores had.Â
Gold litters the shade of sunrise entering the room, but the only warm colors you care to entertain are the ones in his eyes as he finally looks at you and tugs your hand away.
âI love you more.âÂ
You could argue. You could fight him on it, start to rattle off your list of all the things you adore about him, prove that no one has ever loved another person in this lifetime the way that youâve loved him. The freckle below his right eye, the chip in on of his canines from an accident in his youth, the scar on his left knuckles from the first time heâd tried to do a trick with a butterfly knife at nine years old. The jokes he interrupts your day so kindly with, breaking up the mundane with laughter that seemingly fuels you to carry on with your time until youâve returned home to just him. The passion that flows inside of him until it pours out over everything sacred to him â his music, his interests, his friends, you. A passionate and devoted man, yours to have and yours to hold.
But you donât argue the point. You just smile as he kisses you, deep and searching, as he lines himself up with your entrance.
He loves you more, you love him most. Heâll figure it out â eventually.Â
The stretch of him is pleasurable, just like it always is. Filling you, warming you, making that closer you crave so ardently nearly tangible. Every roll of his hips has him reaching spots inside of you to elicit stars to cloud your vision. The morning light, the white hot pleasure â you donât care what makes your vision blue. You only care that it does, all your mews and all his groans entangling up in the air.Â
Your palms slide over the back of his shoulders, your fingers dig into soft skin that youâll spend the rest of your days memorizing.
Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
No prayer has ever been repeated with such need or belief as his name from your lips.Â
And he returns the favor. Gasping out your name, somehow finding himself just enough in his right mind to continue to whisper sweet nothings against your ear, timing them with his leisurely thrusts.
âSo fucking tight and so fucking good to me,â he manages to gasp, digging his hips in a little harsher, âCould stay here forever. Kind of want to stay here forever.âÂ
You donât know how heâs coherent; you canât form a single response, eyes rolling, hands clinging to him tighter.Â
âLook at me when you cum.âÂ
He knows you. He knows you very well. You hadnât even noticed that coiling in your stomach or the fluttering of your walls when he calls you out, forehead pressing to yours as your eyes open to find his.Â
Itâs not world-shattering when the waves come â it doesnât have to be. Itâs something to wrap around your entire essence, something to soothe and something to coax you into oblivion. Something to get lost in as his movements stutter and his own eyes grow heavy.
He doesnât close his eyes, and neither do you. Lost in that pleasure, and lost in each other.Â
Youâre still rhythmically clenching around him when he comes, filling you up with warmth, burying deep in you and holding there as his mouth falls open and you're quick to pepper his outstretched neck with kisses. The smallest reminders of all the love you have for him. The gentlest of devotions, sprinkled across the skin of a man who will always know an affection like no other. Not everyone in the world will be so lucky as to know the fondness you offer him, and as far as youâre concerned, thatâs how it should be.Â
Curses spill as his movements slow, before finally stilling. He drops his weight onto you, exhaustion finding its way back into his bones.Â
Thereâs things to do, a day to begin. Work and people waiting on you two, responsibilities to worry about and daily mundane accomplishments to achieve. But for now, itâs just the two of you. Awake with the rest of the world, but completely separate as you cradle him and he holds you.Â
âThat was one Hell of a way to wake up, sweetheart,â he murmurs into your skin, and you only throw your head back in a laugh.
eddie's taglist: @capricornrisingsstuff @thisisktrying @hideoutside @vol2eddie @corrcdedcoffin @ches-86 @alovesongtheywrote @its-not-rain @feralchaospixie @cheesypuffkins87 @thebook-hobbit @babez-a-licious @eddies-acousticguitar @aysheashea @kellsck @cosmorant @billyhvrgrove-main @micheledawn1975 @eddiesxangel @siriuslysmoking @witchwolflea @tlclick73 @magicalchocolatecheesecake @mizzfizz @nanaminswhore @mikiepeach @ali-r3n @hawkebuckley @alwaysbeenfamous @darkyuffie-blog @vintagehellfire @lilmisssiren @elvendria @loveryanax @stylexrepp @princessstolas @fangirling-4-ever @eddiesguitarskills @babez-a-licious @josephquinnsfreckles
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#ghost's stories#smutty party#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson smut#i just really like the idea of waking up to eddie#especially like this#i wrote this half asleep so it might not be the best my brain wasn't really working#i just needed to write it out before work and before i got out of bed#the run on sentences in this one are strong
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yk its bad when not even etsy sewing patterns can save you (i desperately need a hobby so i was gonna try to sew those old Abercrombie baby doll tops but i'm so shit at sewing so idek how)
#etsy didn't even have patterns for them :(#its bc i havent gotten out of bed before 2pm for the last two weeks so i need smth to do#tiktok has rotted my brain i nee one of those tops so bad#NOT blue jays dc posts#text post#random thoughts
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Knocking them over and watching them scramble to get up with those big ass heads
#kelperambles#captainshipping#tw eyestrain#eye strain#the captainshipping brainrot is so bad right now oh my god itâs like something wormed into my brain and started destroying everything#to constantly think about them but not have enough time to draw them. torture.#Nintendo yaoi is what could save me.#the last time I tried to draw Captainshipping I drew ONE (1!!!!) line on Falconâs chin and went âok thatâs pretty good. I should lay downâ#AND THEN I FELL ASLEEP FOR 5 HOURS#wiping a tear from my eyes as I look at captainshipping photo album on my phone before bed#life is beautiful#I love drawing them and just looking back at my art months later and thinking âdude I actually killed it. this is everything I ever wantedâ#because itâs true!!! Itâs exactly what I want to see because it came from ME?!? CRAZY IDEA.#I imagine their dynamic as something genuinely so sweet. hopefully I can articulate it well enough here#Like from subspace emissary you can already see how Falcon (quite literally) pushes Olimar to try new things and be more adventurous#(even if Olimar doesnât need it after his time on PNF-404 LMAOO)#and Olimar encourages Falcon to slow down and live in the moment#plus. between the two Olimar definitely talks the most about nearly anything and everything#EXCEPT for his true feelings because if thereâs one thing heâs good at. itâs bottling his emotions until he explodes in the worst crash out#But falcon is observant and provides Olimar the space he needs to vent any issues#even if Olimar thinks theyâre probably insignificant in the face of CAPTAIN FALCON of all people#like dudeâŚthe infamous bounty hunter and rich award winning F-Zero racer? CRAZY.#Falcon doesnât mind though. He cares about Olimar and genuinely wants to listen.#if its about financial issues he could definitely help but olimar adamantly refuses#Olimar doesnât want to âtake advantageâ of his relationship with Falcon and heâs always been super self-reliant so itâs hard to adjust#and guess what. Falcon could care less. he has too much money to count and would probably spend it on another custom racetrack#istg heâs so obsessed with racing I wouldnât be surprised if he LIVED in the blue falcon instead of getting a place to stay#Olimar and Falcon are opposites attract taken to the extreme dude I love it so much#and consider the tropes????? LIKE DUDE FALCON IS LITERALLY GETTING HUNTED DOWN BY VILLAINS IMAGINE IF THEY FOUND OUT ABT OLIMAR#AND THE HELMET. THEYLL NEVER BE ABLE TO KISS AND ITS SO GOOD I EAT IT UP!!! FOREVER YEARNING LONGING REALNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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jumping on the trend. I have never felt so mainstream in my picks
#gopher art#team fortress 2#meet the tf2 artist#tf2 medic#and i relate to medica lot but i have more in common with heavy weapon man#tf2 heavy#tf2 demoman#heavymedic#red Oktoberfest#all fast sloppy doodles before bed#am leepy and love meem#i love every merc. yes even spy. they're all so fucked up#but unfortunately i have medic on the brain so fucking often. i love him. he rotates so easily#im very parental friend. the âyou need to eat something/hydrate/sleepâ friend#and im also the strong guy that likes throwing around my weight#love lift big object#and im fond of reading and analysis#so again. im short beboobled heavy#like if he were 5'5â and had an inconveniently large rack#(tags out of order because hellsite. sorry)
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happy sunday friendz ࡠmay you rest up today ! drink lots of water, unclench your jaws, & be gentle with yourself as this week comes to a close (âżá´ÍËŹá´Í)âžâž

#as much as sundays scare me ( usually later in the day ) i just love waking up in bed without a lick of plans#sat is always busy no matter what but sunday truly is the calm before the storm + i love it#(again. i will not be saying this around 7pm LMAO)#anywaaaay !#lounging around the house today and working on my mootie sleepover ! !#i used to do so many lil games on my old blog + id like to bring that energy here#taps chin#also âŚâŚ.#i kinda wanna redo my tagging system#is that crazy#LMFAO#i built one for my personal blog and they are 10x cuter than these and iâm like :T ! !#so i may slowly update them over the next week + iâll reblog the tag post when itâs done in case anyone needs to block certain ones#finally will make my daily yap one cute + aesthetic . FINALLY !#i almost said may the force be with you (qimir on the brain) but LMAO#may you all have a wonderful + peaceful day#sending out much love#âËâš á° xoxo aims#ăž( Ëá´Ë )â â ⊠daily yap.
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i neeeeed to draw pomni and gangle hangout their hypotethical dynamic is so compelling to me i hope we see more of it one day
#weird women who are awkward in different but complimentary ways ooooooo you wanna talk to each other soooo bad#i cheer and cry joyfully at the idea#the total like 1-2 mins they have interacting is awesome. olease... please#this show has great dynamics and i like seeing pomnis but also like#these two. they are inverse but also have great similarities#weird and subtly disheveled and awkward and struggling and have contentious opposite relationships with ragatha#falls to the ground#also they both look awesome in suits. ok? its just the truth#i want to put them in an enclosure together and see what happens. i need to know#sorry for being obsessed with them it will happen again#i just need to come up w smth for them to even do together#fun fact that id been planning on a ragatha pomni comic for a while before the movie discussion one#but i just was having such a hard time figuring out what theyd be doing together or talking abt#so now im having the same issue w pomni and gangle. i need to see them stand near each other or ill keel over and die#anyway. its 5am#i need to go to bed but. sometimes i think abt characters i really like interacting and its like my brain must consider it immediately#i just .... manager gangle brought out a side of gangle that i think compliments pomni REALLY well#both get stressed and are liable to act unusual and i think thats great#also the tiredness. the just. theyre inverse .... but also not.......... am i making ANY sense at all
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Okayyy I might take a bit of a break! School JUST started again after break and everything is going all over the place so I might need some time to figure it out along with some other work I have to do so YA! Urrr no arts for now sadlys
I will see you!! I'm not sure when!!
I LOVE U!
#I can NOT start freaking out alreadyđ#panicking and crying of frustration is not going to get me anywhere. I'll have to really think about what to do#My focus is HORRIBLE and I think I need to make that my main mission (if I even can) to try to figure out what's going on in that brain!#maybe a couple of tangled wires...I'll try to see!#I was doing okay wayyy before (I'd say around valentines day?) good schedule and all! oh only if I could remember how on earth I did thatđ#curse that horrible short memory of mine...why is everything against me!#posts will have to wait while I do this#I might pop in a bit of times. of course to see julie heheeeeee#Need better focus. need more patience. need better memory. need to get my life together!#I said that yesterday to start school right but ended up sleeping late and spending most of my time in bed...#today might not be any different since its 3AM but hopefully sometime in any week I'll figure it outđ#6 weeks of school till the end I am so happy#If I don't pass I will be baked. fried. peeled and in a volcano because I am NOT doing that againđ#WHAT A YAP! I GOTTA GO!!! GAH!#sloppy hand wave anim that I hate but its ok for only this time... (I swear I have a julie one thats way better that im working on...)
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pt update!! iâve been using a .5 kg weight and it seems a good size, i get around 7 in a 10 set and it starts to get difficult so iâll stick with it at least until i can do the full 10 without pushing. i started with single bicep curls, side raises and overheads and overheads are the absolute worst lmao. now iâve added double bicep curls and front raises!
i thought i wasnât really getting much better bc the weight is so light (even though i know it takes time and iâve only been doing it for like two weeks) but then i did the front raises for the first time, got to 3 and was like this fucking sucks lmaoo
#theres still a part of my brain that thinks its basically not worth it if im doing such a light weight#but im doing 50 weighted arm movements! thats still doing a lot!#and remembering im going from entirely deconditioned and exercise intolerant thats pretty huge#and ive literally noticed improvement! i used to start to struggle around 3 when i did the side raises and overheads and now i can get to 7#before it starts to suck#i need to add my bed exercises for my legs then ill have a pretty decent workout going#the only thing is my shoulders pop and click both when i go up and down and i have no idea if theyre bad noises or just my body noises#bc all of my joints constantly pop when i move#so it could just be that but i wouldnt really know if it was something bad#i havent had any pain but thats not really a good indicator either since joint pain is normal too#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt
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okay tomorrow i'm really gonna DO IT, i'm gonna TRY the THREE SENTENCES CHALLENGE that cee polk told us about, i will REPORT BACK ON HOW IT GOES
#text#personal#writing#in btw#driscoll#3 sentences#3 sentences challenge#its basically 'the first thing you do when you get out of bed is write three sentences and only three sentences on your project'#BEFORE any other routine items#if u do 3 congrats u win!!#apparently the side effect tho is it puts it in your brain and you noodle on it all day#since ive been failing at capitalism crime time im gonna try it at home tomorrow and carry it With Me to capitalism#see if that helps fix me or nah#i really do miss using my Fresh Brain for morning words#office jobs are fucking bullshit i dont want this#unfortunately. i need a book deal. to escape mine.#so. 3 sentences it is.
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scheduled Rot Day = success
#barely left my bed in 24 hours#kinda needed it been WAY too busy with work and everything as of late#didnt even have enough brain power to play a new video game#got like 10 mins into dream bbq before i was like. yeah This Too is too much effort#and i didnt fall out of front !!#brain decided âyou know what Yeah you are the one most suited to this activityâ#mango man rambles#sage
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I hate it when you're in the middle of doing something you can't stop immediately when you get a good idea. And it plays through your head and it's like yes this is amazing. And the moment you get a chance to write it down it's gone. đđđ
I had a good moment for Lachrymose finally losing his cool with Tarlyn over Tarlyn questioning Lachry's choices and using his faith as a reason.
And poof... Gone... All bc I had dirty dishes and soap covered hands....
#bee speaks#i at least got like a small bit out in the gc...#i might take it further before bed#but right now i need to turn off my brain and play Infinity Nikki#the new dresses are here and i need to dress up like a pretty princess.
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mogh's theme is in my top three for the entire elden ring ost and it's one of the few songs i risk my eardrums for because it needs to be blasted real loud to properly hit.
there's basically a single word sung in it that kills me. in second phase, when after the drop it goes quiet, instruments drawing back and the low voices reducing in number (maybe there's only one mainly heard?) and sounding personal and up close instead of grand and ceremonial and preaching.
and then at the end of a line there's a word that kinda sounds like "praetori" and the lilt of it. sounds like such adoration. disney princess lifts a forest critter on her palm and nuzzles it to her cheek.
combine that with how the low and high voices interact, what the bells are doing. it's so rich in implications.
idk man. the whole thing sounds so much like a monologue (switching to a dialogue, or asides responding to commentary at times) and i keep hearing so many different types of speech in it. makes me want to use words like implore and beseech.
and then the ending is like hands reaching toward the light only for it to cut off.
no amount of pomp nor fervor could save mogh from being an omen.
#having thoughts#i typed a whole thing about this twice on youtube only to lost the whole thing both times#divine intervention to keep me from getting too used to commenting over there#tho i do need like. the hyperfixation fix to try and calm down for bed#entirely too much happened today and i'm unpleasantly wired#but yeah even tho i've posted monly about puzzling out radahn and miquella#i think i actually think about mogh more often. and morgott alongside him#on like a more character basis. personalities. circumstances. how would i write them.#even before the dlc revelations i was obsessed with their diverging paths#not to mention about the 'does he have trouble buttoning up his undergarments with his claws' that rewired my brain
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12 straight hours of phone in bed give it up for 12 straight hours of phone in bed folks
#didn't want to get up and eat this morning so i put off taking my meds bc i'm not supposed to take them on an empty stomach but i didn't#ever get out of bed to eat bc i was. unmedicated. and now all i've eaten today is an entire box of cheezits and i still haven't gotten up#it is past 9 pm 𫶠i have 6 hours of class tomorrow 𫶠i am not doing well#i made a color-coded list on my little whiteboard this afternoon of all the shit i needed to do and that apparently took up all my brain's#capacity for action beyond cycling between the same 3 apps#i need to shower sooooo baaadddddddddd :( but i can't do that until i eat and my kitchen is downstairs and idk if i have food anyway#i forgot how much of a nightmare the beginning of winter quarter is :( and i haven't made my mango lassi froyo bc everything's So much money#woe is me boo hoo etc etc#i hope i get up i wanted to be asleep before midnight (it's a benadryl night for sure)#a post#don't think i've gotten more than 5 consecutive hours of sleep in over a week <3 yippee
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5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again đ
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
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