#office jobs are fucking bullshit i dont want this

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

okay tomorrow i'm really gonna DO IT, i'm gonna TRY the THREE SENTENCES CHALLENGE that cee polk told us about, i will REPORT BACK ON HOW IT GOES

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[turtle-ier]

Living in hatred and fear for tomorrow, lads

[roses-n-rads]

I'm gonna face plant in the snow and scream

[fuckin-wilde]

Tw for police brutality, murder

One of my high school friends was murdered by our local cops last week. Ive seen absolutely nobody talking about it, and while im sure Bill would appreciate that, i definitely dont. That being said, im making this post for me and anyone else who has lost sleep over Bill's death, nobody else.

Bill was a uniquely wonderful man. If he'd just met you, he'd stick his hand out and say "Howdy, Bill Factor". He would do things for the fuck of it, or because nobody else would, just to laugh with his friends. He was one of two teenagers i knew who didnt think you had to be mean to be funny. He wore this amazingly tacky christmas suit (blazer and pants) for the holidays, which his sister wore to his funeral yesterday. He was barely 25, disabled, native, queer, and a legally ordained minister. He was the only guy i knew who could be in color guard through high school and then rush a frat in college. Truly if the world is ever going to get better, it takes a whole bunch of people like Bill.

Bill was murdered by two cops with less than 5 years of job experience between the two. Supposedly he was hiding on a strangers balcony before he fired a gun at the officers, but - and i know this is an old ass song - thats complete bullshit. He isnt here to explain what happened, he cant tell us what was going on that night, and i hate that how cops abuse this every time they kill someone.

Isaiah Lewis should have been able to tell his mom why he was doing edibles, get grounded like a normal kid, and graduate high school. Bill Factor should be here to tell his mom what he was doing in some karen's backyard. No parent or grandparent should be at their kids funeral. No one person should be allowed the position of judge, jury, and executioner - especially after only doing his job for a year or two.

If you made it through this long ass post and want to help, put pressure on Edmond PD. Let them know we havent forgotten Isaiah Lewis and we wont forget Bill Factor. Ask the city of Edmond and/or the state of Oklahoma for an external investigation this time. Leave a voicemail that just says their names.

And please do say his name.

Bill R Factor. 1999-2024

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

saw some western aus and wanted to throw my proverbial hat in the ring. well. toss it gently. place it down on the edge-

actually no fuck that, slamming down the hat i have Thoughts:

first off, if anything this au should be the silliest looney toons bullshit.

~ of all the revolvers are unloaded. so gunfights are just people saying "bang" at each other and then throwing the nearest thing at their opponent in place of a bullet

~ Wally is the town sheriff, and he's hilariously incompetent. he also has a habit of shoplifting apples from Howdy's saloon / general store fusion. his cowboy hat has a card with an apple on it tucked in the band, but he doesn't wear it, so at nearly all times one of his hands is occupied with holding the hat. also he doesn't wear his badge ever

~ Barnaby is the town deputy, and he's marginally more competent than Wally. however, he doesn't take his job seriously and is usually napping in his chair on the sheriff office porch. sometimes he wears Wally's badge along with his own for funsies

~ also when Howdy catches Wally stealing, he'll call Barnaby over. Barnaby will proceed to arrest and lock up Wally in his own jail until Barnaby feels too bad for leaving him in there and lets him out

~ there is only one horse in town, and its Eddie's so that he can do his delivery runs and get mail from the town over - he has a lil wagon too. Sally has a running gag where she tries to steal the horse, but it completely ignores her and won't budge an inch.

~ on that note, Wally has one of those stick horses. when he needs to chase someone down, he hops on it and Barnaby lifts him by the scruff and runs, gently shaking him up and down to simulate natural horse riding movements. somehow it always works. no one can escape this tactical move

~ the only role i can see for Sally is overly-theatrical outlaw, just as incompetent as Wally. she never succeeds in stealing anything but also never gets caught because, again, Wally is terrible at his job. everyone usually comes outside to watch their wacky "fights" and do nothing about it, including Barnaby. also Julie helps her sometimes

~ Julie i think would be the town banker. she's unusually strict about it and can get kind of scary about technicalities. however the town doesn't really use currency, so they have a point system that they keep careful track of. it would be stickers, but those dont exist. actually fuck that these are puppets, stickers exist and the board is like the gold stars in that one spongebob episode

~ Frank is an entomologist that decided to brave the untamed west to see what new bugs he might discover. what he discovered was dust, scorpions, and an inability to leave the town due to no monies anywhere. he finds entertainment in keeping track of the local ant colonies' wars & affairs, and also complaining at Howdy at the bar

~ everyone complains to Howdy. he has someone at his bar at any given time and he's taken to being incredibly passive aggressive about it. they still have to pay with jokes or favors or whatever they can think of that he'll accept

~ Poppy runs the hotel, where pretty much everyone lives. Julie lives there, Frank lives there, Sally lives there, Wally lives there. Barnaby prefers to sleep in the sheriffs office, as he doesn't want to make the "across the street" commute. Howdy also stays in his saloon/store, and Eddie sleeps in his post office - as canon intended.

~ Home is the mayor. don't ask me if he's a person, an object head, or just a building - i do not know. he's probably still a building. no one can understand what he says

~ oh also Frank is incredibly pressed over the fact that the town's lawfolk suck at their job. he swears he has an aneurysm every time Wally chases Sally down the street on a stick horse, or when blatant crime is happening right in front of a very asleep Barnaby. he is tempted to take over as sheriff, but alas, there are scorpions to be stung by

~ and finally: apple chaps. thats all thanks good day

[aswefindourwayback]

I love you, I’m sorry

Authors note: this is my most vulnerable piece of writing that I’ve ever shared since it’s taken inspiration from some terrible moments in my life. So it’s not my best piece of writing. Feedback is always appreciated.

Word count: 2071

Content warning: mentions of poor mental health, angst

you’ve never been able to keep people in your life, no matter how hard you tried. you would always change parts of you to fit other people’s wants and needs but it was still never enough. it got so bad that you were having thoughts about ending it all, thinking it’d be easier for everyone around you. they wouldn’t have to deal with your bullshit anymore and they could finally breathe again. but you instead threw yourself into your work.

you were already good at your job, but you quickly became the best. your work became your life. you stopped seeing and talking to your friends because you got so caught up in your work.

after years of working your ass off, you found yourself as a profiler for the FBI. you were now a member of the BAU. it took some getting used to and learning how to socialize but you got the hang of it. you guys were cracking case after case. you got along with all your coworkers and you guys often had fun together. you really loved all the laughs and good times you had with them, even outside of office hours. like that one time Emily, jj, and Penelope invited you out to go shopping and get dinner. it was something you were terrified of doing, getting closer to people and getting out amid socializing again, but you did it and found that it wasn’t as bad as you’d made it out to be in your head.

but there was one who you really got along with. spence. when you guys first met, you were both a bit shy and timid. but with time, you two grew incredibly close, always going to each other for anything and everything. and over time you fell for him, without meaning to. you knew it would complicate not only work but your friendship with him. your friendship with him means the world to him and you don’t know what you’d do if you lost him, so you kept your feelings to yourself. until one day, you didn’t.

it had been a normal day when rossi had called you into his office to talk about some case details. after going over the details and correcting him a few times, he asked you something:

“so, when are you gonna tell him?”

“what? tell who what?” you asked, completely lost in the conversation.

“reid. when are you gonna tell him how you feel?”

“spencer? what do i feel for him?” you said trying to play stupid. but it was rossi, he could see straight through you.

“Dont play dumb, kid.”

You slouched your shoulders in defeat, “no, i’m not gonna tell him.”

“Why not?”

“there’s a millions reasons to stay quiet”

“but there’s a million reasons to tell him too. don’t be afraid y/n.”

“easy for you to say. you’re not the one confessing your feelings”

“but i’ve done it a million times, kid. trust me. what if something good comes from this?”

“what if i ruin the one good thing in my life?”

“you won’t”

“how do you know that?”

“i just do.”

“what if it’s not the right time? like we’ve got that new case coming up and spence has been through some awful shit recently.”

“there’s never a “right time”. you just gotta do it.”

“i never intended to fall for him.”

“feelings are something we can’t control.”

“fuck. i’m gonna do it.” you say walking out of rossi’s office. the last thing you hear is rossi calling out to you “good luck, kid! not that you need the luck.”

-=+=-

you waited until the work day was over cause you didn’t want to make it very awkward in case you were rejected, which would very likely happen according to your calculations (you tend to distort your brain and imagine that the worst will happen for any situation). the odds of you being rejected were quite high so, you were just taking safety precautions. and if he still ended up rejecting you, you had it all planned. you would transfer to another branch. it’s not the best plan but you never claimed to be the brightest.

most of the team had already left for the day, so it was just you and spence standing waiting for the elevator, just talking about the paperwork you guys had worked on today. the elevator dinged, indicating it had arrived and the doors opened.

as you two stepped in, you took in a deep breathe and faced spencer.

“hey” you’d said.

“hey” he said, smiling shyly.

“so i’m gonna tell you something and i need you to let me finish before you say anything.”

“alright, i’m listening.”

“spence, i really like you, i mean really like you, so go ahead and reject me. i'm a big girl, i can take it. also you don’t have to say anything now.” you said at lightning speed, squeezing your eyes shut, afraid to look at him.

“y/n?” he asked as you felt his finger lightly lift your chin up.

“open your eyes, y/n”

you did as he said.

“i have something to tell you too.” he admitted, dropping his hand from your chin and shoving them into his pockets. your eyebrows were scrunched up a bit, hopeful of what his response would be, “i’ve never felt a connection with anyone before like this. I know that’s not surprising considering my awkwardness around people and my need to always correct people when they’re wrong and the fact that I shove myself into my job so much but i’ve dreamt of kissing you and feeling like i was on cloud 9. i started to notice when morgan kept calling me out for always watching you. and then i kept having dreams about you. not like any weird or sexual dreams or anything. just dreams where we hung out. just being near you. but i definitely want to see how this goes.”

“oh thank fuck” you said letting out an exasperated breathe.

that had made you both laugh. you felt like so much weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“so” spence has started, exaggerating the length of the word.

“so”

“do you wanna like, hang out now? we could go get a drink or something. or if you want to wait and stuff then we can do that.” he’d said, almost stumbling over his words.

“id love to get a drink, spence.” you smiled at him.

and he smiled back.

at the bar, you two mostly forgot about your drinks and basket of fries as you were so caught up in each others company. you spent the night talking and laughing. you laugh so much, you were sure you were going to have abs in the morning. you’d never felt so happy. he made you forget about all your worries. he was unbelievably amazing that it was hard for you to believe that he existed and that he liked you back.

you two stayed until the bar almost closed for the night. he walked you home and you two kept talking on the walk. once you two had reached your door, you stood in front of him, not wanting the night to end.

“thanks for the drinks. i had a great time.” you said to him

“thanks for joining me. i had a great time too. um, do you think we could keep this on the down low for now? i don’t want everyone breathing down our necks at work and stuff. and i just wanna enjoy us for a bit.”

“yeah, of course. i’ll see you at work tomorrow. goodnight, spence.” you said as you walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek, making both your cheeks turn bright red.

“goodnight, y/n”

-=+=-

the past few months have been amazing. you and spence have been doing amazing as a team, not just at work. so many nights were spent together, either in complete silence or going on stupid late night adventures aka going down to the gas station across the street from your apartment to get snacks. you were so grateful for him and you were head over heels for him. you never thought you could feel this way for someone. you guys had of course had some ups and downs, mostly due to you and your mental health but you always got through it together, and for that you were forever grateful. he was different to anyone you’d ever met. he actually wanted to learn about the things you struggle with and wanted to learn what were ways he could help you. and after a really bad episode, you helped you breathe and told you he’d stay with you no matter what battles you two would have to face, cause he knew in the end, you two would end up the winners. it was insane to think someone so amazing would be able to love the mess you are, but he somehow does.

until he started to distance himself. it started after a specific incident when you had said something that came off wrong when he’d already had a bad day. after that, you could see it in the way he would interact with you. his speech and body language had changed towards you. his messages became a lot drier, even if you were verbally talking, he’d seem so disinterested, it was disheartening. you wanted to fix things but you didn’t know how. so you decided to arrange a nice little date night for the both of you, so you could show him how much you loved him and to talk things out. you even wrote down a little letter to tell him how grateful you are for him.

when you entered the office to tell him about the plan, he was on the phone so you waited behind him, waiting for the call to end. you didn’t mean to but you eavesdropped a bit, he seemed like his old happy self when he was on the phone, and you overheard a name, “maeve”.

you decided to walk away cause the call seemed to be taking a while. you walked towards morgan’s desk, where he was sitting and talking to pen.

“hey, what’s going on with you?” morgan had asked as soon as you walked up.

“nothing much, just waiting for spence to finish his call so i can talk to him about something.”

“oh yeah, he’s been on his phone a lot lately.” morgan had said.

“really? do you know why?”

“there’s this girl named maeve that he’s been talking about nonstop. he seems really infatuated with her, it’s nice to see him this way.” pen had said.

it was at that moment that all those bad feelings came back. your heart felt as if it was being grabbed out of your chest, just to be bitten into and shredded to pieces.

“i gotta go.” was all you said before you walked away from morgan’s desk.

you walked over to your desk and grabbed your stuff before walking to rossi’s office door and telling him you were leaving early.

“you alright, kid?”

“yeah, i just forgot something.” you said as you spread the fakest smile on your face.

you walked out the office and looked back at spence, hoping he’d walk after you to check on you. but he was so caught up in his phone call that he didn’t notice you leave.

you walked out to your car trying to keep the tears at bay. you ripped up the letter you’d written for him.

was it all a lie?

did he really mean those things he said to you?

was he playing you the whole time?

or did he just change his mind?

you messed up again.

you made mistake after mistake and he finally got tired of you.

he was the best but you were the worst.

you’re wrong again, about being lovable, cause you’re not.

it’s the way life goes.

it’ll never end.

you felt like pink cherry blossom petals that were left on the ground. loved and cherished when in the trees, awed at when falling, then left discarded and forgotten on the ground once you were no longer attached to the thing that gave you life. always being stomped over and discarded. never to be seen or loved again. the way it’s always been and the way it’ll always be.

[starpirateee]

WAITWAITWAITWAIT YKNOW HOW SPANKOFFSKI IS A POLISH NAME

PETE OR TED OR MAYBE BOTH SPEAKING POLISH AND CONFUSING THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM

JUST LIKE, THEY HAVE A PRIVATE CONVERSATION OVER THE PHONE THEY DONT WANT OTHERS TO HEAR SO SPEAK IN POLISH TO EACH OTHER AND WHEN TEHY HANG UP EVERYONE AROUND THEM IS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??????

god im insane about themmmmmm

Anon this is really funny in concept, the size of your mind is insane && I just hope I can do it vague justice

The major problem for Ted on most days was that his phone tended to ring in the most inconvenient of places, at the most inconvenient of times. another major problem was that he often got so engrossed in… Whatever he was doing in the office that he forgot that he and Pete ran on completely different schedules, because his brother was still three months from graduating high school.

He'd been bunking off for the past half hour, and had been talking to Charlotte in the break room, trying to work out when a good time to see her again would be. Everyone who knew them tended to avoid the fact that she was blatantly using him as a fallback option because her husband couldn't— or wouldn't— give her what she wanted. People like Paul and Bill tended to ignore it, only because Sam was doing the same thing across town, with one of the Beanies' baristas, and one of his coworkers… Never at the same time, mind, but Zoey Chambers seemed rather unapologetic about it, so Paul and Bill had managed to work it out as fact.

Still, it was weird to see Charlotte with Ted. Because, at the right angle, it almost looked like Ted genuinely cared about her, and wanted to keep doing what they did to get her away from the thought of her husband for a while. That, of course, had seemed like enough total bullshit that nobody bought it, but they left the two of them to their well needed privacy when it came down to it. Only two people knew they were spot on with near enough everything they speculated about.

Ted leaned against the water cooler, sporting a little more confidence than would surely be allowed in a situation like this. Charlotte wasn't having a terrible day, and that meant it was that little bit easier to talk to her. Less Sam to think about… How did that bastard end up with a woman like her? And why was it that her situation was that bad that he was an upgrade for her?

He was going to think about an answer to that question, but his phone started ringing in his back pocket, vibrating way too dramatically against the cooler.

"Jesus christ-" He stood up a little straighter, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Sorry, Charlotte. One sec, I swear- hello?"

"Hey, Ted."

That was a voice he'd recognise from anywhere. Pete, once again working off his own time and perhaps completely overlooking the fact that Ted still had an hour at work.

For the sake of clarity, Pete checked his watch and drew the realisation that the holidays were over last week, and Ted was back on office hours. His brow creased, hoping he wasn't interrupting anything then realising there wasn't really anything to interrupt in his brother's work life. "This a bad time?"

"Oh, hey, Pete. No, you're good, I wasn't doing anything anyway…" Ted went straight back to lounging, aware that Charlotte was now trying not to eavesdrop but didn't really have anything better to do. "What's up?"

Pete chuckled. "C'mon, when are you ever doing anything? You don't do shit! Especially not at work!"

"Hey! I do shit! I get paid to do shit, don't I?"

"… Do you even know what department you work in?"

It was a genuine question, and would've accounted for Ted's genuine laziness and reluctance to do any of the actual work he was sent… If Ted hadn't prepared for this exact eventuality several months ago. He'd made sure to pay enough attention in a Monday meeting to at least account for what depeatment he worked in, and what that department pretty much required him to do. He didn't have to work constantly anyway, and that was the best part. His main job was just… fixing the problems everyone else had, when they had them.

"Sure I do. Tech support!" He imagined the defeated expression that flashed across his brother's face, and laughed to himself. There were too many people around him to make the point he was going to make next without getting mobbed, so he leaned in a little closer to the phone, a smirk playing on his lips, and muttered, "Czuję się, jakbym był jedynym idiotą, który faktycznie się zakwalifikował… (I feel like I'm the only idiot who's actually qualified…)"

That prompted an unexpected laugh out of Pete, who was clearly around other people too, because he tried to cover it up. "To wiele mówi (that says a lot.)" He returned once he'd stopped laughing. The two of them had stopped questioning the other's occasional slip into their own version of mostly fluent Polish. They used it to their advantage, to have private conversations in public, or sometimes in reverse when they were around the Polish side of their family. More things could be said if there was the added bonus of nobody overhearing, and that way of thinking had helped Pete out on a few occasions.

Ted cracked a smile. "Ty jesteś gówniarz- (you're a little shit)" He managed to bring himself back into the conversation they were supposed to be having, before he and Pete managed to lose it like they always did, lost in the jesting and the back and forth that just seemed to get better with every phonecall they had. "You didn't call to insult my supposed lack of work, did you? What's up?"

"Can I drop by the office and pick up your keys? I must've left mine on my desk this morning… Took me till third period to realise they weren't in my pocket…" Pete turned from the phone to mutter something- a goodbye, perhaps- towards someone else, and Ted found it vaguely amusing that Pete had retaliated to his complaint when he was with friends.

"You left after me this morning…"

"The front door locks itself, don't worry about it."

Ted faltered, and then nodded. He'd figured that by accident once when he accidentally locked himself out after forgetting his own keys, and he had to wait in the foyer for half an hour like an absolute fool for Pete to show up after his study session. "Fine. You know where the back entrance is, don't you? My car's parked out there, you should recognise it."

"That hunk of shit? I'd recognise it anywhere,"

"Do not slander my car!"

"C'mon, Ted, you've had it like, twenty years! And it hasn't gotten any better in all that time…"

He was going to ignore for now the seemingly increasing pile of problems that it seemed to have every year. Wings that needed replacing because they'd rusted so hard last year, numerous little engine faults… And the suspension was probably shot after all these years… It was a hunk of shit, sure, but it was _his_hunk of shit. "You just wait till you get your own hunk of shit, we'll see who's laughing then!"

"I'm- I'm getting close, I can see your car. Thanks for this, by the way…"

"Yeah yeah, don't mention it, Pete. You better not lose 'em on your way home, I know what you're like…"

"Dupek. (Asshole)"

"Tak, też Cię kocham… (Yeah, I love you too)" Ted chuckled before Pete hung up on him with a scoff. He rolled back his shoulders and stood up from the water cooler. Charlotte tilted her head, and it dawned on him that she'd probably heard all of that. He shrugged. "My brother. Useless bastard left his keys in the apartment… Hold on just a moment." He flashed her a quick smile and sauntered out of the break room towards the lift at the back of the office. Charlotte didn't have the time nor the space to question the constant little jumps in language that may well have happened on both ends, because Ted was gone before she had the chance to think about it at all.

[racmune]

what are your favorite scoutpauling hcs!!

HOLY SHIT THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK!!!!!

UMMM idk how im gonna format this so im just gonna put it in bullet points ig

scout is a big ole hugger and very physically affectionate,, this contrasts with miss pauling being touch starved and really reserved. the way each of them love is something to get used to for both of them but its just works!!

i think miss pauling is very quick to try to ignore her feelings in order to focus on her work rather than a relationship with scout but it ends up coming up over and over again. like perhaps she'll try to convince herself that she can work with him and be normal and ends up fumbling over her words or another flub like that "hey scout i need you, i mean- for-for this" contract line. (i see her being shown to act stern to him in fanon even when she's supposed to be pining, but i think its forgetting the aspect of her character that she's a huge nerd >:33 i just really enjoy scoutpauling pining. scout becomes softer, shyer and more considerate, and miss pauling becomes that "girls when they're in love" meme. i just think they're such a good ship for a slow burn which is so upsetting cause i don't think there's a single scoutpauling-focused fic that's a slow burn. i'd say i'd to take up the torch but i struggle to even write one shots so 💀)

i also like to think that miss pauling notices his insecurities and compliments them. and he gets all flustered but he loves it so much. (yup i did rip this from a measured fic i read but i gotta beef up that wordcount biatch. i am insane abt this pairing i dont think you guys understand yet)

miss pauling is often overworked (as she is lol) and will struggle to take basic care of herself (feeding, sleeping, etc) and as they get closer scout will swing by her apartment often and help her clean up the garbage, water the plants , take her to bed (NON SEXUALLY!!!!11!!! we keep it PG here) and get her some good food

miss pauling will sometimes be so overworked she'll be sleeping sitting up or fall out of her chair and sleep crumpled on the floor. scout is often coming into her office/apartment just to spend some time with her and she'll tell him that she's fine and doesn't need much sleep to keep going. scout let's her go for this but soon he finds her asleep in even more concerning spots and finally says fuck it and cleans up her apartment and tucks her into bed

i feel like scout has put on a tough, "manly" persona all his life to prevent himself from getting bullied (or at least getting affected by it in front of others) but i think miss pauling being a girl able to call him on his bullshit is really good for him to be more down to earth and good for his self esteem in a way? like i think he allows himself to be more vulnerable with her and that feeling rewarded by being loved for what he is rather than just a persona is just really nice.

miss pauling is really capable but also i think shes avoidant to help if its really personal to her and not only her job. miss pauling was raised to be an assassin by the administrator and was never really allowed to just be a PERSON and i think that its kinda nice for her to be able to just have a normal relationship with someone. like, i think their relationship is pretty non-normal lols, but also i think scout can be really nice to her and nurturing to a more personal side of her she often times will have locked up because of her line of work.

if the administrator didnt adopt miss pauling (a big hc i have) i like to think that she had a very cold and unforgiving set of parents (like perhaps she can attach herself so well to the administrator because shes used to authority figures behaving in that way? or something?). i imagine after miss pauling getting well acquainted with scouts family, scout wants to meet her family. scouts family is a lot more warm blooded and caring than miss paulings family, and miss pauling says no at first because of this. scout still wants to go or at least know why miss pauling wont talk about her family, but reconciles that some things she isnt ready for. miss pauling still notices his feelings and decides to bring him over for one dinner. its just the worst for everyone involved. scout is wearing his sunday best which is a goofy haircut and a bowtie because he cant be fancy to save his life and no matter how polite he tried to be his bluntness would always shine through on accident. miss paulings mom would insult her and scoutd get really defensive. hes not allowed back. ;-;

another hc i like is that miss pauling and scout both speak spanish. scout learnt it because he mistook it for the language of love (which, i mean spanish is still a pretty romantic language so i fuck w it) but in miss pauling's case it was her first language. miss pauling is excited to know he speaks her language and he often needs her to slow down her speech for him to keep up which i think is a fun contrast to everyone struggling to keep up with him loll... also this happened valve told me/j

(im also not a spanish speaker so umm if i got smtg wrong then im sooo sorry ;u;;)

i also just really like miss pauling's hyper-activeness and excitability as well,(i didnt say this yet but i also headcanon them both as audhd A LOT) like ive said before its rarely shown in fanon and its upsetting cause i think she's just a silly little character and she's often shown to be the straight man or team mom exclusively…. and i think theres a twinge of fandom misogyny in there but like whatevs ig.

they can work together really well as a unit but also i think they are really nice for just . healing together from fucked up childhoods i guess

ive seen scoutpauling be viewed as a ship with no sauce or spice but i gotta disagree!!! theyre the most concentrated flavour containers ive ever seen in all my years its great

...

@saffsketches told me that ill get bullied for this post💀

//ok also have some headcanons from my discord server under the cut, all these are from me but there were a lotta good ones from other members that i just didnt show cause i was too shy to ask to cred LOLS

btw fuck this took post longer to make than i thought it would ;;; ummmmm………….. sorry ;u;

(this one was from when the server was talking about miss pauling having a big ole st bernard named otto in the headcanon channel for context LOL)

ok im done now bye hope yall enjoyed this small peek into the inner machinations of my fucked up mind..... HEHE

[gender-void-partially-stars]

as a math person idk what the fuck im gonna do for a job. i dont trust the tech sector, i despise all the bullshit that comes with finance, and im not gonna work for some defense contractor. i also kinda just don't want to work in an office? idk man

[notjennyfromtheblocked]

The more I interact with people the more I realize that extroversion is completely unnecessary and unnatural.

No, you do not need social interaction constantly. No you do not need hundreds of friends. Wtf is even small talk.

Humanity flourishes with small familial/found familial groups/friendships, and everyone needs alone time. Very few jobs ACTUALLY require extroversion to thrive. No, I don't want to have a conversation wirh my cashier or barista. We are making a transaction. We don't need to interact. And as time progresses with self service eventually we won't need even that. Don't speak to me if I'm purchasing something from your company. You're not my friend; you exist simply to give me what I am spending money to have. That is your purpose. I know you think becoming my friend will endear me to you so I can save you from the hellscape of boredom your job is, but that's not my obligation. This isn't Great Expectations. Being nice to a stranger won't give you a better life. Getting off your ass and applying yourself will; stop expecting introverts who are independent to do it for you.

Office work probably needs even less interaction. There's no reason FOR office work at all. It's a fact work from home was more productive. Most jobs don't actually need in-person work and if they do they definitely don't need you to be social. If you're in healthcare you fix my ass up and that's it. We dont need to chit chat. We don't even need to go out anymore tbh; that's why have the internet, online shopping, and DoorDash and Instacart. If it is required to go out, shut the fuck up and get back home asap. If you need to be social, go home and talk on the phone or use the internet or text. Nobody wants to hear your squawking laughter at restaurants and unintelligent gabbing at parks and stores. If you can't be noisy at your apartment or house, too bad. Should've bought your own hoke in a more secluded area. Don't make it pur problem. Cell phones in public should be for texting, dipshit. That's why it was invented. If you're waiting for an important phone call, STAY YOUR ASS AT HOME. I don't care about your problems! I don't know you! I don't want to overhear your cunt ass speak!

Any job that """requires""" talking to individuals in a conversational way is bullshit and it isn't actually necessary. Extroverts FORCED it to be a requirement by their nonstop yammering and FORCING people to put up with their look at me look at me main character syndrome. NOBODY should be making friends in a workplace environment anyway. Do you want to be betrayed and manipulated? Wait you're an extrovert. You're the one throwing us under the bus.

Do you think cavemen were partying and laughing noisily as possible and bragging about how social they are? No they were being quiet so they could hunt to survive. I guarantee that extroverts were killed by bears in the past. You think peasants and servants were making asses of themselves in public and forcing everyone to pretend they weren't annoyed? Do you think slaves were walking slow on sidewalks and taking up space in aisles to chat and never getting their work done because they were playing around but get away with being lazy because they're ass kissing their bosses with their extroversion? No. But you know who was doing that shit? Their rich ass elite royals and slave owners. Servants mind their business and Eat the Rich sociopaths were gossiping. Extroverts will manipulate everyone around them by playing invented games like "how to act exactly as society demands and say all the right opinions without offering an actual opinion" to get everyone on their side then you'll see how they act off the clock and they're totally different. This is SOCIOPATHY. You're a schmoozing sociopath who fucking lies and everyone thinks you're annoying and hates your fucking GUTS but Society demands we can't tell it how it is.

TLDR; extroversion is an invented word to cover for psychopathy, manipulation, and coercive control over the masses.

[doctordragon]

you do know that by transitioning to a masc aligned gender identity you don’t have to hate women or be radically pro-sex to the point of supporting harmful things. like those two things don’t have to go hand in hand. you do know that

also, your arguments are just asinine. yes, all work is degrading, but it is no way comparable to the shame and violation which comes with raped all day for money that you dont get. no one is trafficked and forced to become a chiropractor/masseuse/etc. also, you are against capitalist society, and yet you are somehow still pro sex work? you cannot agree that all work is degrading and yet delegate one type that is particularly degrading and harmful as okay or even good.

also, you cant compare hierarchical society in the workplace (as bad as it may be) to actual, real world forced sex. no one is forcing you to have an office job

consent can’t be bought for the right price. if all work is non consensual what do you call non consensual sex. i think you know

First of all, you have absolutely no right to call me a woman hater you projecting motherfucker. You literally told me you think all men should die and that I should kill myself for being a man. If that's not you, stop being a fucking coward and prove it and talk to me off anon. Meanwhile I have been nothing but supportive towards women and women's issues, especially because almost all of them still affect me as a trans man.

I am radically pro sex. Our culture's views on sex are incredibly toxic and unhealthy. Your puritanical bullshit is only contributing to this toxicity. Sex is a neutral act. You can use all sorts of provocative language to describe it, but ultimately it's not that much different than any other activity people can do together. Your attitude towards sex as inherently violating, intimate, and shameful comes from the fact that you are a 17 year old asexual teenager. Not everyone views sex the way you do.

And how many times do I have to tell you, you are minimizing workplace abuse. My friend had her legs PERMANENTLY FUCKING DESTROYED from working at Starbucks out of the managers convenience. She literally told you that she would rather be "forced" (because you don't believe sex workers can give consent) into sex with strangers than have to live with her shitty legs. Amazon warehouse workers literally died because they weren't allowed to leave the warehouses during a deadly tornado. And that's just in North America. The electronics you are typing this ask out were made with slavery. The lengths you go to dismiss workplace abuse are astounding.

Anyway, you have yet to provide an argument against SEX WORK ITSELF. You're just arguing against trafficking and rape, and of fucking course those are bad. But, trafficking and rape are not inherit to sex work just like forcing people to stay in a building during a tornado isn't inherit to warehouse work. The problem isn't sex work itself, it's the abusive practices in the sw industry and societal factors that force people into sex work. If people were being trafficked into office jobs, would you be against any job sitting in front of a computer? If being a non trafficked masseuse is fine, what's wrong with being a non trafficked sex worker?

And yes, all work is degrading because we live in a capitalist society. The problem is the capitalism, not the work itself. In a perfect socialist utopia, people would still do work because we have a society that needs running. And there would still be sex work because there will ALWAYS be sex work.

I still have no idea what your actual policy positions are, unless they're just coming online, complaining about the concept of sex work, and misgendering trans men, which is very ineffective. There will always be sex work, so what measures do you want to take to ensure sex worker protections? I have realistic goals and policies that would tangibly make the lives of real sex workers better. All you have is a shoddy argument that sex workers are too stupid to know what's best for them or give consent.

And again, you can't easily sort things into "consensual" and "non consensual" with a hard line. Of course work in our society isn't fully consensual. The problem here isn't the presence of sex - sex is completely neutral - it's the coercive factors. If you can acknowledge the difference between working a minimum wage job and slavery, you can acknowledge the difference between a sex slave and a sex worker.

[wi55iams]

📕More Cruise AU. MORE. <3

Ok FINE. IF YOU INSIST i wanna talk about it so so bad actually please send more asks people ty

Hiding under cut cause its long ahdkdl

As established we have Captain Alonso and Entertainment host Lance. But ofc the entire grid have got to be here

Charles, Carlos and George are all third officers. Which means they take it in turn to stand on the bridge and drive. George is always sucking up to the higher ups cause he wants a promotion really really badly but he also is the best at his job. Carlos and Charles start constant debates about 'interpretation of the colregs' and 'your knowledge of the rules' and spend most of their time passive aggresively flirting and not doing their jobs.

KMag, Hulkenberg and Valterri are the higher ranking officers. Kmag and Nico have both been passed over for promotions and are at each others necks in a sexual and violent way. Valterri is the first officer for passage planning. Which means he sits at the computer and draws lines on charts all day and doesnt get involved with that bullshit

I want Max to be a prodigy still so he's Chief officer. He organises all the maintenace and is Fucking Done with the 50 situationships ocurring around him

Saftey and Staff captain... Im gonna make Staff Nico Rosberg because holy shit him being second in command to Fernando is hilarious. And just second in command at all really. Also means he can have a good brocedes dynamic with lewis

Saftey officrr is Mark Webber. Someone has to make sure all the injuries these chucklefucks get are recorded and organise the weekly drills. He and Fernando went through boat school together... they were close... he doesnt like Nandos new boytoy very much

Thats just the deck department im still going

Alex, Lando, Logan, Lance, and Esteban are all entertainers. Lando I imagine would be a dancer doing backflips on stage, Logan a sensual operatic singer, and the remainder hosts for the various events onboard. Lando and Carlos meet up frequently in the crew bar to get drunk after work.

Daniel is the Cruise Director who the passengers fucking love hes hilarious and makes time for anyone who talks to him and his organised entertainment is very good.

Pierre is the DJ/sound technician for the stage and he and Esteban have had. A thing.

Lewis is the Hotel Director. It doesnt sound like an important job but its one of the most important on any cruise ships because hotel = guests = money so the hotel has to be banger. Lewis rules the hotel department with a patient yet iron fist. He and Staff captain Rosberg frequently butt heads.

Zhou I struggled with but I think he'd make a nice nurse in the medical department! Good at remaining well spoken and chill in the face of passengers complaining.

Yuki is absolutely the head chef running his restaurant, he is ordering 3000 cooks around constantly and he NEEDED THAT LAMB DONE FIVE MINUTES AGO-

Oscar is the ETO, which is basically an electrician. Keeps out of the way of the bullshit but has no choice to listen to Carlos whine about Charles while he fixes the screen they broke

Checo is an engineer cause he also doesnt partake in grid drama. He waits for the bridge to call him to tell him to press the on button for the engines. Chats with Osc about how #crazy everyone else is

And finally we have Seb and Kimi... who dont work on the ship. They are retired mariners. Seb now works as an instructor at an academy part time and also a marine pilot for a nearby port. Kimi works on a tugboat at that same port. They are gay married and frequently recieve texts from their good friends Fernando and Mark about what whacky bullshit is happening now

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

office jobs are so silly. what do you mean all you do is write emails, do excel and sit in meetings? dont get me wrong im eternally grateful i scored this job because my mentally unstable ass could not work a demanding job but i think so many people should have more recognition and especially earn more than me because their work is arguably more valuable… nurses, bus and taxi drivers, teachers, construction workers, people who stock shelves, retail workers, waitresses, delivery people, farmers and farm helpers, garbage and fire departments, ambulance drivers, cleaning staff, repair people, customer service, social workers… probably forgetting lots of important people but you get the idea. i think office jobs should pay less than jobs that pertain to critical infrastructure and services. so many of the most important jobs are so underpaid and underappreciated, it will never make sense to me. „nobody wants to work these days“ is such bullshit, most people love being useful and productive, its just that the conditions are fucking shit. offer flexible times, part time with a sufficient income, more vacation, more free days, and people will come. everyone who works odd times should get paid extra and get extra free days. fucking embarrassing how „essential workers“ are treated.

[richardsphere]

Leverage Redemption Log: The Card Game Job

Ok, time for the show to try and justify its use of playing-cards in the leader i guess? (still waiting for the timebomb) --- Ah, a beautiful establishing shot of a riverside, then a shot of a toppled tree. Nice to see a place get shown rather then hidden behind infinity-point font.

Kids dad is running out of money for their medication, its gotten to the point they need to sell their truck. (Fuck) kid dies within 1 minute of taking the medicine. --- Look I know this guy is scum, but lets not use the "he's pleading the fifth and listening to his lawyer and therefore must be evil" propaganda bullshit, allright? He's evil because he's holding sick childrens lives hostage, not because he's pleading the fifth.

hedge fund primarily made up of his own money? That sounds like a lie. --- Poor Lucy, Not only did she get fucking kidnapped, not only does she have to watch workplace harassment seminar videos but also IT looked into her browsing history? Poor Lucy.

Coffee and Beignets delivered (place your bets for poison?), button-cam in place.

Suck-up is gonna be the achiles heel. (Suck up is also the true mastermind behind the price-gauging) Breanna is placing office bugs.

Guy got second in a TCG once years ago and is still pissed about it. Initial prediction: Sell him a Black Lotus? --- Back from commercials, Breanna is loredumping. Apparently there is a rare and unique card in the castle somewhere. (no one knows what the finder gets outside the card. Im betting its Willy Wonka rules and the finder gets the company) --- They've taken the bait and now legitimately think the company might be for sale.

redirected his e-mail server. Honestly a lot more we could be doing with that. (you know what happens when a hedgefund CEO type doesnt have access to his own e-mail for a day? What can happen if you can send e-mails from his server in his name? I sure as heck dont know but am afraid of the answer)

Ok, either he is actually selling or we're getting counter-conned. (yeah, number 2 is definitly the real power here. We're scamming the wrong mark) --- and we're doing a national-treasure cluehunt. (its gonna suck, cause all the riddles are gonna be clueless riddles about a fictional cardgame we as an audience cant solve.)

Why the slo-mo on the walkout of the theatre? This scene does not ask for that. --- Sad Breanna is sad that Parker wont accept their help. (Parker is acting a bit OOC here, she knows better then to refuse a booklet of passwords)

Harry is here to unionise the securityguards.

Breanna has bought Parker time by attacking his pride and re-focussing him into "proving himself" by playing the actual game (he knows he cant lie about the riddles) Big Thug is off to find Sophie (dont worry, Elliot is with her)

Elliot is not happy that he's being volunteered for a Joust. (weird, i know he likes horses) --- Cordozar is wearing secret Clark Kent glasses to cheat. (When is team leverage gonna catch on that they're conning the wrong mark) --- And "Rage" has killed Elliot's dragon. Ah the classic "its all part of the show" fightscene. Love myself one of those.

Ok its the lake-pond. Nice little thing with harry signing to take the earbuds out for a private talk. --- "you have to be a killer" breanna says one thing he doesnt like and he imediatly calls for a time-out. Look for anyone who wasnt paying attention, obviously this all ends with Mr. Poet not selling his company because his passion has been re-ignited, and may even end with him getting his castle back. But I just want to note how charming it is to see Sophie con a man, not because she is after anything he owns but because she just needs him to be happy and distracted for a bit. --- What do you mean it took Breanna this long to realise she could hack his glasses/earbud thingy or his assistants cardgame-supercomputer... I guess she is new at this like Harry is so it sort of makes sense for her to miss that... --- Climatic "place to belong" community-speech is a bit on the nose and overdone but its a cliche that is overdone for a reason. (guess what, most cliche's are cliche because they work. saying something is cliche is a statement of fact not an insult)

"guess im not that good", nice line. 8.9/10 --- "lets just say the new owners are happy, and even happier to avoid a class action lawsuit". Game night at the theatre. --- Unfortunately this episode did not assist in justifying the sequel series bond-based trailer.

[cowvboyenema]

sorry for the not even remotely funny topic its just that every day i have to hear about someone killing themselves or having a sudden heart attack or they got hit or they just cant physically do the job anymore or they got sick or some other terrible fucking bullshit happened

i dont want to focus on the downside of my job like im the funnyman but fuck it gets to me

one of my execs mentioned his sister died and i was talking to rose and she was like

oh yes, sherry (not her name) yes? i went to her funeral

i saw him there and gave him his space

she worked at the hospital with kanaya and when we were still pre dating i would hang out in the office with her

sitting here with my head in my hands talking to all these fucking people and its like fuck!!!!!!!! fuck!!!! i need to scream! i need to scream i need to cry i need to cry i need to run away why am i still here if i cant even help

what am i supposed to do with this shit how am i supposed to help what can i do about it i cant

i cant HELP there

its just a lot sometimes