#i need people to hang out with that i can support and who will support me
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eroaneki · 55 minutes ago
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so i'm going to explain this as someone who was 10 when the war in Afghanistan started and 12 when the Iraqi war started, and remembers, very vividly, the general feeling of America during that time.
there is a distinct difference between America prior to 9/11 and America post 9/11. prior to 9/11, America was "free." you could go anywhere without having cameras following you, needing to go through a million security checks at the airport. your loved ones were able to meet you at the gate when you got off of a plane, and you could literally take the bus to any major airport in the country and just hang out all day. you didn't have to have a flight scheduled to be allowed in an airport. it was literally a thing to go down to an airport to have dinner at one of the restaurants there or hang at the bar. basically there wasn't such an obvious "big brother is watching you" type feeling.
when 9/11 happened, America was shaken to its core. we realized, for the first time, that we weren't invulnerable to attacks from foreign entities. 9/11 was the first time America had ever suffered a foreign terrorist attack. there was instant panic. i remember people being pulled out of school the day of. businesses shut down. people pulled money out of their bank accounts. the economy came to a grinding halt so badly that the Federal Reserve dropped interest rates to 0% in order to stimulate people to keep spending money. there was widespread fear that the end of America was coming.
that feeling persisted, and still persists today. Bush, wanting to right the "wrongs" of his father, used these feelings of panic and uncertainty in the American public to drum up support for invading the Middle East. most of the American public agreed with it because they just wanted to feel safe again. they wanted things to go back to the way they were prior to 9/11. Canada, France, the UK, and other world players supported him in this endeavor and sent troops.
Bush ended up invading Afghanistan without Congressional support in October 2001. Congress later agreed to grant him authority to declare war on Iraq when he eventually started touting how they had information about "weapons of mass destruction (aka nukes)" being stashed in Iraq and sought to flush them out. I watched on live TV in December 2003 when they pulled Saddam Hussain out of a dusty hole in the ground and toppled the statue of him in the middle of Bagdhad. Again, I was 12 when this happened.
It became evident after some time that Iraq did not house nukes. Or if they did, they'd been moved somewhere else long before America got to these so-called "facilities" where they were being kept. There were literally no nukes or weapons of mass destruction to be found. Slowly, our allies started to pull out of the war effort, realizing there was no other reason to be there. Because France pulled out, Bush went around trying to rename french fries "freedom fries" as a way to show our displeasure with France's decision.
Because we created a power vacuum by pulling Saddam out of power, we were forced into staying in the Middle East and then tried rebuilding Afghanistan as like a sovereign state. Basically we started fighting ideologies from all over the Middle East, which cost us thousands of American lives unnecessarily and it's been a big point of contention for years now as to whether we had any business going into Afghanistan at all. It also cost thousands of innocent lives throughout the Middle East and completely destabilized the area. It only gave birth to further, more extreme terrorist organizations such as ISIS.
The whole conflict in the Middle East was supported by Americans for the first few years of the war. But as the results and rationale waned, most people wanted out. America likely stayed due to resources, wanting to establish influence, and worst of all, pride. Almost every issue we have right now can be traced back to 9/11 and the fallout after.
But what's even more upsetting is to see what happened after we pulled out of Afghanistan in 2021. After 20 years of literal blood, sweat, and tears trying to prop the country up, Afghanistan crumbled completely in less than 24 hours. 20 years and countless lives lost and forever changed, for nothing. Quite literally nothing other than to serve the ego's of those in power.
And now our generation and every generation after us is saddled with trillions upon trillions of dollars worth of debt from a war that quite literally meant nothing. We cannot afford basic living expenses, rent, education, etc., in large part because of the economic response to this war.
Our futures were all sold because of this war.
I missed most of the Iraq war due to being a baby, but every time I read about it I start wondering why we aren’t all talking about it all of the time
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spidermanifested · 5 months ago
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doing a lot of posting this afternoon but. man. if theres anything that sets off my alarm bells its whenever i see a post thats like. Sticking It To Those Dumb Motherfuckers Who Complain About/Can't Just Suck It Up And/Don't Know How Great It Is To Engage In [INSERT SOCIAL CONVENTION HERE]
i know when i see one of these posts im going to go in the notes and see people calling op ableist, maybe in a way that comes off mean, and i know the op is going to respond calling them all terminally online sjws because of their tone, and/or playing the "so you think all autistic people are the same?? you think no autistic person can navigate social interactions like everybody else??? look at all these autistic people agreeing with me" card. the old "No You" Switcheroo
And its just, really exhausting, knowing they probably mean well but theyre operating on such faulty defensive logic that you can see from a mile away when youre in any way educated about disabilities. because the thing about disabilities is that theyre disabling. and when "difficulty with an ability" is a symptom of a disability. and then you insult people who find that ability.... difficult....... like i dont know how else to show people how to put these 2 puzzle pieces together. i dont know how else to explain that "people who cant do this one thing experience less of the full scope of humanity than me" is never a progressive statement to find yourself making
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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year ago
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not sure if I personally agree with Aristotle about friendship tbh
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jrueships · 2 years ago
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if a journalist doesn't ask about jaylen and ants friendship imma fuckit and become one myself
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kindnessoverperfection · 1 year ago
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Some recent wins:
-Sang loudly and off-key with my partner. We were both laughing to tears. I was sober.
-Found myself actually thinking about musical theatre today. For myself, for my own interest in it. I wasn't chasing it for a narc high, nor avoiding it due to a crash. It's been a long time since I've thought about my interests for my own sake.
-Invited my friends to hang out
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capn-merca · 6 days ago
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Chappel Roan also refused to encourage her audience to vote against making being trans illegal, and then went on SNL with a TERF. Her actions speak A LOT louder than her empty words; she’s just another cis “ally” who prides themselves on vocally supporting “those trans freaks” while being all to happy to sit back and let somebody else get rid of us. What a fucking coward. People like her don’t care about us anymore than we are a political argument to be won. Just once I’d like to be treated like a damn human being, but no, Chappel Roan is using me to gain clout with the queers, without ever actually having to stand up for us in a way that really matters, while actively throwing us under the bus. I really need her to shut up about trans people man, she was talking about how Trumps plans for us was no big deal! How the fuck is that in any way an ally? And again, she went on SNL with a well known TERF. She gotta shut up about trans people before I loose my entire fucking mind my god she makes me so fucking furious.
I should add that the main kick off for this rant was putting Gaga and Roan on the same level. Gaga is and will always be the goat. Also, sorry to be negative on what’s trying to be a positive post, seeing Chappell Roan beside Gaga just kinda set me off.
At least two major artists (Lady Gaga and Chappell Roan) making a point to vocally support trans people the Grammys is a big deal in this political climate.
#ugh sorry for the rant but this has been REALLY bothering me#like especially now we need to know who’s really on our side#but more often than not I find that cis queers are just pretending to tolerate us to make themselves look good#they act like we’re not real people#like we’re just a political point#an argument to be won#but they don’t care AT ALL about us as human beings!!!#our lives are on the fucking line and all she can come up with are goddam thoughts and prayers?????#like bro she got money she can donate to charities#but honestly even than it won’t be enough to forgive that bullshit she pulled before the election#calling both sides equally bad#downplaying how bad trump would be#leading her audience to think voting didn’t matter#because why should it matter if trans people are imprisoned and killed?#it doesn’t matter to her! we don’t matter!#and when she was confronted on this she went and cried on instagram!#I don’t fucking care about your cisgender celebrity tears trans lives are on the line and you refuse to put your fragile fucking ego aside#and use your platform to support us#she told us right then and there that she doesn’t care about trans people#but just to make sure we got the message she then went on SNL with John fucking Mullaney#A TERF#BRO SUPPORTED DAVE CHAPPEL#THIS IS WELL KNOWN INFORMATION#THERES NO WAY SHE DIDNT KNOW HES A TERF#but she didn’t refuse to go on the show! because once again her ego was worth more than our lives#I fucking hate her and I hate the brand of cis faux allies she represents#the types of folks who will act like they’re fucking martyrs for letting those disgusting transgender hang out with them#the types of folks who will welcome you with open arms only so long as you sit in the corner and let the real women talk#right now I’m so fucking frazzled and anxious and angry#and I really need to know who will actually have my back and who won’t
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mohfamily · 26 days ago
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🌟 A Plea from Gaza: Rola’s Story 🌟
Hello, my name is Rola, and I am a mother of two children living in the Gaza Strip. Our lives were once filled with love, laughter, and dreams for the future. But everything changed on October 7th, when the war shattered not only our home but our entire world.
That morning, my family and I were enjoying coffee together on the balcony. Out of nowhere, an explosion erupted, shaking our home violently. My husband and son ran for cover, falling over each other in panic, while I stood frozen, still holding my cup, unable to process the chaos around me. When I looked out the window, I saw that our neighbor’s house, once filled with life, had been reduced to rubble. Ambulances rushed to the scene as people scrambled to rescue the injured and pull bodies from the debris.
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The bombings didn’t stop. At night, the rain poured heavily, and the cold seeped into our bones. I stayed awake, covering my children to keep them warm and praying for their safety. But safety is an illusion here. Another explosion shattered the night, and our neighbors’ home was destroyed. Their children, who had been sleeping peacefully under a blanket, were found lifeless, their cover soaked in blood.
I looked at my children with tears in my eyes and thought, How can I protect you? We had to flee our home with nothing but the clothes on our backs. We left behind my children’s toys, their clothes, and their beautiful bedroom. Everything we had worked so hard to build is gone.
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Our Current Reality Now, we are displaced and living in a nightmare. Food is scarce, and prices are unimaginably high—$10 for a kilo of sugar! The fear of death hangs over us constantly. My children deserve a life of joy and hope, not one defined by fear and loss. Why can’t we live like everyone else—go to work, visit family, and watch our children play in safety? Why do our children have to grow up surrounded by death and destruction?
How You Can Help I am pleading for your kindness to help us rebuild our lives. We need your support to: 💔 Rebuild our home, so my children can feel safe again. 🌍 Evacuate from Gaza, seeking a future where my family can live with dignity. 🩺 Provide urgent medical care for my children, who need protection from this nightmare.
Even the smallest donation can make a difference. If you can’t donate, please share my story. Every share brings us closer to hope.
What Your Support Means Your kindness is not just about helping us survive; it’s about giving us a chance to dream again. To rebuild what we’ve lost and to ensure my children have a future filled with possibilities, not fear.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Your support means the world to us. Let’s work together to rebuild hope, one step at a time.
🌸 Please share our story and consider donating today. 🌸
Together, we can create a better tomorrow. 🌍❤️
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werewolfbneimitzvah · 10 months ago
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vent post. There are two stories i was told in my teenage years that even before i had a real concept of trans issues made me uninterested in discussing the supposed sacredness and safety of separated sex-based spaces.
First, when i was like 13 or 14 my PE teacher told us about a time she went to a women's public restroom, some guy was hanging out outside the bathrooms, she didn't think anything of it, went to the bathroom, and he walked in after her and like, creeped on her over the top of the stall. She was ok, she wasn't telling us this to scare us, just telling us what to do in situations like that (and iirc she was telling the whole co-ed class this, not just girls, bc it's useful for everyone), but this taught me immediately and forever that there's nothing actually keeping these spaces separate really, that anyone can be a creep in any space, and that establishing a space like that as for women only isn't actually particularly useful for safety.
Second, when i was 16 i was at an anime convention, a friendly acquaintance of mine and i ended up in conversation outside, and he showed me his bare wrist and told me he'd been kicked out. A female friend of his had stepped in dog poop outside, and between that and the stress of the convention she'd had a bit of an emotional breakdown, so being her friend, he started comforting her and ushered her into the women's restroom so they could wash the poop off her shoe together. And because he was a man who went into the women's bathroom, he got kicked out, no matter that he was doing something that was actually beneficial to a woman. Punishing a woman's friend for supporting her was supposed to... protect her somehow? This made it clear to me that a no-exceptions rule separating the sexes like that wasn't actually inherently good for everyone.
And this isn't even getting into me as a child needing to accompany my younger sister to the restroom when we were out with just my dad because she had certain support needs past the age he felt comfortable bringing her into the men's room with him. And what if I'd been born a boy, or she'd been the first born? Who's helping her then?
And of course even putting all this aside, we should always prioritize compassion and support anyway. But i never even needed to meet a trans person to know that "keeping men out of women's bathrooms" is silly nonsense. But trans people also need to pee anyway and as humans they have that right, so leave them the fuck alone. your precious women's restroom is just a fucking room with a door, holy shit give it a fucking rest, if someone is attacking you in the bathroom that's bad and if someone is in there to pee that's good and it doesn't fucking matter what their junk is or was when they were born.
a woman could have done the exact same thing to my PE teacher and it would have also been bad no matter how "supposed" to be in the restroom she was, and no one should ever be punished for helping a crying friend wash their shoe.
Anyway i know I'm speaking to like-minded folks here, i just think about those two stories literally every time bathroom gender shit comes up and it pisses me off.
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confinesofmy · 9 months ago
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soo crazy how after about a year and a half of leaning heavy on my family because my mom died and i was falling apart i am now pretty sick of the majority of them lol. like i finally fell in with them properly because the circumstances were right for it and uhhh turns out they're bad. can't stand em. lowkey. not good people, like for OTHER people they're not. but also me personally they're not good for me to be around. so now i know lol. 😵‍💫
#my cousin was telling me about something happening with her mom rn and i can't even put it into words nor do i know what to think#or how to act#and there's nothing to be done but just sit with it#and i'm unhappy to know it#and it's second-hand! like it's not even my burden to bear and i'm just 🫥#and we also talked about my parosmia bc she bought a salad that smelled so unspeakably bad#and she was like you should have told me and i was like i didn't know for sure that it would smell bad#and i don't feel comfortable demanding you not eat around me unless i approve of what you choose like that's crazy#and she was like well i would! if i was in your position i definitely would#so i was like yeah i guess. i guess i'm just used to people having bad reactions when i even bring it up.#and she was like yeah <other cousin> thinks you're faking it#and i knew obviously. because of the way she acts. but jesus christ.#that's so so mean to even think. such a misunderstanding of me as a person but also just. literally fucking mean.#and that's how she is with everything#she wouldn't believe in a snake if it bit her#and if we had spent more time together we would've talked about all the other people i can no longer particularly stand#god what a bummer#they were a much better support system when they were hypothetically supportive#presumed supportive#adam yaps#also i love the cousin i was hanging out with today very very dearly but she has low emotional regulation#and it drives me slightly fucking insane at times :') like can you please keep it together for a few hours :')#but that. might be my own internal issue that eye need to work on... like other people's emotions shouldn't affect mine maybe#or maybe i'm right and it's fucking annoying to hang out with someone who's very vocal when they're not having a good time lol idk 🤷
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sun-lit-goth · 1 year ago
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It’s important to clarify your reasons for networking though, especially if ur not necessarily the most social in the first place. The goal isn’t to besties, but to put yourself out there authentically in the hopes to gain opportunities that can further your career.
young me especially would have hated hearing this but networking is literally the most important thing you can do to improve your situation like forget economic barriers to education etc just keep making friends with different people and eventually someone will offer you a hand up just because they dig your vibe and that is exactly all that's happening when undeserving people surpass you anyway
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jeonginsleftcheek · 4 months ago
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The art of erotica
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pairing: felix x afab!reader x hyunjin
synopsis: hyunjin asks his friends to model for his paintings and things take a turn as they indulge in their fantasies.
genre: smut, fluff
word count: 6.6k
warnings: everyone is a horny desperate switch, oral (f and m), voyeurism, threesome, mxm action, fingering, a lil spit play, cockwarming, unprotected sex (wrap it up pls), double penetration (one hole), cum eating, cum swapping, creampie
a/n: can't seem to get enough of hyunlix so enjoy🤭
~ divider by @anitalenia
~ Masterlist
"Fuck...! Lixie!" you jolt, your middle lifting towards Felix's lips as he flicks his tongue in a particular way that he knows gets your toes curling.
He groans into you, the taste of you and the sounds you make, how you sit on the couch spread out for him while he kneels with his head buried where he loves to be the most; he can't help his hand as it travels into his pants, grabbing his needy leaking cock.
You're so close, his nose pressing into your clit perfectly as you play with your nipples through your thin shirt and Felix pulls his cock out to bring himself release along with you.
"I'm gonna-" you're interrupted by your phone ringing, both of you jolt and groan as Felix moves away, licking at his lips.
"Who is it?" your best friend looks up at you, a little breathless, still stroking his length slowly, squeezing it a little.
"Hyune." you chuckle.
"Answer him." Felix smirks diving back in, pushing his tongue between your soaking folds into your warmth.
You groan and accept your other best friend's call.
"Hi, beautiful." you can just hear Hyunjin's smirk by the way he says it.
"Hey, prince- ah!" you accidentally moan as Felix pinches your clit teasingly.
"Hi, Felix!" Hyunjin yells loudly, making you laugh as you move your phone away from your ear.
Felix chuckles, detaching his lips from you as you put Hyunjin on speaker so Felix can talk to him too.
"You're between y/n's legs, I presume?" Hyunjin teases.
"My favorite place to be. Care to join?" Felix claps back as you close your legs and flick his forehead.
"That's besides the point. I'm calling cause I need a favor from my two very beautiful and very horny best friends." Hyunjin announces as Felix rubs his forehead, his brows pinched together.
"I'm not filming a porn movie and putting it on the internet!" you chime in, making Hyunjin laugh.
"I wasn't gonna ask that but now that you said it-"
"Stop stalling, Hyunjin." you interrupt him and he giggles.
"Alright, since the two of you are at it anyways, I wanted to ask if you would let me paint you in different sex poses? I wanna make it aesthetic, erotic, raw... you know? You two would be perfect for it!"
Even though you and Felix messed around sometimes, you've never actually went all the way so both of your faces become red as Hyunjin explains his vision.
You've kissed Hyunjin too, as has Felix but it never went further than that so the thought of being naked with Felix inside you, while Hyunjin paints the both of you made your gut stir, arousal gushing out of your already wet pussy.
The three of you had an interesting friendship, and you know not many people would understand it or support it but as long as you have each other, you didn't care.
"Hello? Earth to my pretty people?" Hyunjin laughs.
"I'm down." you nod and then look at Felix whose face was as red as a tomato now.
"M-me too. Yeah. Why not." he shrugs, trying to make it look like it didn't affect him at all.
"Great, that's settled! Come to my studio tomorrow at 6pm." Hyunjin sounds excited.
"Sure, see you!"
"And loves?" Hyunjin adds, his voice dropping a few octaves.
"Y-yeah?" Felix speaks up first.
"Don't worry about anything. I'll take good care of you." Hyunjin almost purrs and you feel your pussy clench at his words.
After you hang up, Felix and you look at each other and then burst into an awkward laugh.
"This'll definitely be interesting." he says, a contemplative look on his face.
"Mhm. Let's think about that tomorrow, though. We have some unfinished business here." you smirk, spreading your legs again as Felix looks at you darkly, licking his lips.
Excitement runs through your veins that night as you curl up in bed, anticipating tomorrow.
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Felix drives you to the familiar building and the two of you step into the elevator, letting it take you to the top where Hyunjin's studio sits.
Hyunjin lets you in, and as always when he paints, he is messy, his hair disheveled but somehow making him even prettier, his bottom lip is red as he probably bit into it with concentration, there's a streak of yellow paint on his left cheek, and more on his shirt and pants.
"You know the rules." he wiggles his eyebrows before twirling away like some fairy, making you and Felix laugh.
The rules were simple; no shoes because they're dirty (and probably because Hyunjin likes to take peeks at your feet, sometimes even rub them when the three of you cuddle) and no phones as he felt they were an unnecessary distraction in his sacred space.
You and Felix leave your shoes and phones by the door, before following Hyunjin, walking on the plastic that's covering the floor for protection, and Hyunjin looks at you, leaving his paintbrush aside before he skips to you, his long arms enveloping both of you in a hug.
"Oof." Felix huffs out air as he accidentally knocks into Hyunjin a little too hard, making Hyunjin snicker before he leans back, his hands splayed on the backs of your heads.
"My loves. Are you excited?" he asks as you swat at him which he dodges with a laugh, finally releasing you.
"Intrigued, I would say." you smirk, both of you looking at Felix.
"I'm - a little nervous." Felix admits, a blush coloring his cheeks.
"We shared a bath multiple times." Hyunjin narrows his eyes at Felix, a playful smile gracing his features.
"This is different!" Felix swallows and you chuckle, your hand on his upper arm in an attempt to comfort him.
"It's just us, I know you'll feel better as soon as we get into it." you say, knowing that Felix isn't as spontaneous as Hyunjin or you are and it takes a little convicing when he's on the spot, but ultimately he always caves in.
"You don't have to strip right away. Here, I prepared coffee and snacks for my models." Hyunjin beckons you to the table with a smirk.
"Hardly a model." you chuckle as Felix picks up a drink.
"Y/n, you're gorgeous and you're not allowed to talk badly about yourself in my studio... or like ever." Hyunjin nods, folding his arms on his chest.
"Damn, calm down, I was joking." you giggle, your face warming up.
"Oh my god, ew! What the fuck did I just drink?" Felix makes a disgusted face and the two of you laugh.
"That would be my coffee. Your hot chocolate is on the left, sugar boy." Hyunjin smirks.
"I swear-" Felix starts, his hand curling into a fist and you laugh.
"Anyways. How will this work?" you stop whatever banter they were about to have, because you know it can drag on, sometimes they don't know how to stop when they start joking around.
"So. The bed, right?" Hyunjin says, semingly a bit bashful himself.
You look towards the bed, one where the three of you spent countless nights watching some artsy european movies on Hyunjin's projector; Felix would fall asleep with his head on your chest and Hyunjin would end up putting his head on your lap, demanding of you dramatically that you need to caress his head and play with his hair or he'll die.
The three of you would end up falling asleep together, limbs all tangled and messy, and one of you would always be close to falling off the bed (that one would mostly be Hyunjin).
"Okay." you nod.
"I will instruct what poses you'll make and then paint them. Of course we will take breaks when it becomes too much. Or stop altogether if either of you feel uncomfortable." Hyunjin waves his arms around as he talks.
"Alright. Should we just start?" you shrug and Felix sputters a little.
"I'm not hard yet." he says quietly.
"That's no problem. I'm sure y/n can help you with that." Hyunjin smirks. "Or if you want, I can help you."
"T-that... y/n and I can just make out." Felix's deep voice is so quiet in the big space.
"Okay, if you need me I'll be here. I can turn around if you want." Hyunjin chuckles.
"N-no, you can... watch." Felix says and you smirk, taking his hand and leading him to the bed.
Hyunjin sits on his stool, his eyes darkened already, his tongue pressed into his cheek as you push Felix to sit on the bed, your body following his as you grab his face in your hand and press your lips on his.
His lips are sweet and familiar, albeit trembling a little in this moment so you press harder into them, his hands coming up to caress your waist.
Hyunjin watches with dark and curious eyes, his two beautiful best friends kissing in front of him.
Felix relaxes the more you kiss, his tongue darting out to lick at your lips, asking for permission to taste you which you happily grant him.
Hyunjin's heart speeds up as he observes you, his cock twitching in his pants.
He notices the way your hands tangle in Felix's hair and how you pull at the strands, he notices Felix's hands on your ass, squeezing and massaging the flesh as you get closer to each other, the wet sounds of your tongues dancing together bounces off the walls as spit dribbles down your chin.
He notices Felix's pants growing tighter, and he doesn't feel jealous of him, he feels exhilirated.
He wants to join.
Hyunjin stands up and makes his way towards the bed, which gets your attention as you detach from each other, a string of saliva connecting your lips.
Without any words, Hyunjin cups your chin and leans down to kiss you messy and sloppy, his tongue pushed in instantly to lap at you and you whimper, jolting a little as Felix grips your thighs.
Hyunjin leans away and turns to Felix, his hand big on Felix's head as he gathers his hair in it and yanks his head a little, making Felix whimper.
Hyunjin leans down and kisses him equally as messy and sloppy as he did to you, arousal gushing on your panties as you watch them making out.
"Fuck. I'm sorry." he shakes his head.
"It's okay, Hyune. You're always welcome to join." you lick your lips, your eyes traveling between his face and the obvious bulge in his sweatpants.
"I'll hold onto that invitation. But, right now, I need you two to strip. Okay?" he asks and both of you nod.
It's easy to be naked in front of each other as you have shared baths and one too many nightly escapades which ended in skinny-dipping, Felix always being a victim of yours and Hyunjin's jokes, where you would dive in and grab his ankles or try to scare him with stories of lake monsters.
Felix would nearly cry but you didn't want to be too cruel so you would hold him, as the three of you floated around naked in the cold water.
But, something about only you and Felix being naked while Hyunjin is dressed and observing every single move you make is new and exciting.
"So, what would be the first position?" you ask curiously as Hyunjin prepares his easel.
"What do you usually do?" he asks, not looking at you.
"We never... we never did that." Felix says, making Hyunjin look up.
"Really? I thought you for sure have. Don't you like - mess around?"
"Yeah, but we never went all the way." you nod and Hyunjin gasps.
"Oh my god, why didn't you tell me! Is this uncomfortable for you?"- he panics, his arms flailing, making you laugh at him because he's seconds from slipping on that plastic cover.
"Calm down, Hyun!" you say as you sit on the bed.
"I'm totally fine with it. Lixie?" both of you look at Felix.
"Yes. I'm okay to go." he nods.
"Alright, just prep yourselves then." Hyunjin says it like it's a command to obey and you can't help the way your pussy clenches at his words and the determined look in his warm eyes.
"H-help us?" Felix gets bold suddenly, batting his pretty eyelashes at Hyunjin and he lets out a delighted chuckle, only two long strides and Hyunjin is in front of you.
"Sweetheart, spread your legs for us." Hyunjin coos at you and you immediately obey.
The smirk on his face deepens as he brings his hand to Felix's lips.
"Spit on my fingers, angel." he taps his lips and Felix whimpers a little, gathering spit before letting it drip onto Hyunjin's long fingers.
You expected him to only finger you, but what you didn't expect is for Hyunjin to drop to his knees between Felix's legs and spit on his cock as he grabs him, making Felix squeal from the sudden action.
Hyunjin wastes no time, his wet fingers press into your clit and run down your folds, as his other hand starts slowly working Felix's length.
"Ah!" Felix moans, jolting into Hyunjin, you know it must feel quite different to have another guy jerk him off like that and you whine for more attention as Hyunjin stares up at Felix with a knowing smirk.
Hyunjin turns to look at you, eyes softening before he slowly pushes his fingers inside you, your warm pussy welcoming them and sucking them in.
His tongue darts out to catch a bead of pre-cum from Felix's tip and Felix gasps, his hands clutching at the covers under him as his thighs tremble.
Hyunjin doesn't stop smirking as his tongue swipes around Felix's tip before he takes him in, hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head up and down slowly, his fingers matching the pace of his lips as he fucks them deep into you.
"H-Hyune." you whimper, the tips of your fingers touching Felix's as he falls apart too, his head thrown back, a string of curses leaving his lips as Hyunjin sucks on him harder.
You admire how he seemingly has no gag reflex as he keeps sucking him in, his nose pressed into Felix's pubes as he swallows his whole length, while fucking your pussy skilfully, scissoring you open to take Felix's cock.
"There." he suddenly pops off of Felix, pulling his fingers out of you and immediately sticking them into his mouth to taste your sweet juices.
"Mm." Hyunjin moans around his fingers.
"T-thank you?" you bite your lip teasingly and Hyunjin giggles.
"Anytime."
"How do you want us for the first position?" you ask, your pussy throbbing and clenching, needing more attention.
"Okay, so..." Hyunjin pushes Felix to lay down and then moves him a little, making you chuckle at how Felix looks up at him cutely and almost innocently as Hyunjin adjusts his body however he wants.
"I want your arm lifted and kind of falling of the bed. And the second on will be on y/n's hip when she straddles you." Hyunjin motions at you and you nod, your legs on either sides of Felix and he squirms a little as you grab his cock and run it on your wet folds.
Felix gasps as you moan and slowly lower down on his length, Hyunjin observing his cock pushing into you with his lips parted.
You wiggle a little to adjust, feeling your best friend's cock filling you up perfectly and Felix whimpers quietly, bucking up into you.
"Where do you want my hands?" you ask, sounding almost breathless as you clench around Felix involuntarily, making his eyes flutter.
"Hm. Actually, let's change it up. I want y/n arching off you and holding your hand. So you can put this one-" Hyunjin takes the hand that was falling off the bed- "here." he lays Felix's hand on your hip.
"Your other hand here." Hyunjin takes your hand and puts it on Felix's abs but a little bit to the side so the point where you connect can still be visible to him.
"Beautiful." Hyunjin breathes deeply. "I want you looking at each other." he adds, messing with Felix's hair and then yours, making some of it cascade on one side, but not covering your breasts.
"Arch your back a little, sweetheart." you do as he says, any movement making both you and Felix moan.
"Now, stay like that as long as you can." Hyunjin smirks, almost evilly, the bastard.
He moves from the bed to blast some music on his speakers, whistling and acting nonchalant but you can see his cock struggling against the fabric of his pants.
Your eyes find Felix's and he licks his lips as he looks at you.
"You okay, Lix?" you ask, squeezing his hand a little.
"P-perfect. Feel so good. You're so warm and tight." he whimpers and you can't help your hips moving at that, your pussy clenching.
"Hey, no actual fucking." Hyunjin chimes in, knocking down a few paintbrushes accidentally. "Yet." he adds with a devilish smirk.
"Bastard." you mutter under your breath with a chuckle, making Felix smile.
"I heard that!" Hyunjin sits at his easel, and you look up at him, sticking your tongue out at him as he rolls his eyes playfully.
Hyunjin starts sketching quickly as you look back down at Felix.
The two of you lock eyes and in the sudden silence devoid of your conversation and jokes, you're aware of everything.
You're aware of Felix buried inside your warmth, throbbing and full, his fingers slotted between yours, his other hand gripping your hip, his dark eyes fixated on you.
Felix's eyes travel down to where he's filling you up and he groans deeply.
"Fuck." his hips buck just a little and you feel your arousal gushing and coating his cock.
"Lix." you warn but it comes out as a moan.
"You two have no patience." Hyunjin scolds as he continues sketching.
"You try being in my place." Felix huffs.
"Maybe later." Hyunjin winks at you as you flip him off.
"Hand back on Lix." he points with his pen and you make noises of protest but listen nevertheless.
You look into Felix's eyes again and he looks at you so softly but still full of lust and you find yourself getting lost in his gaze.
After he's done sketching, Hyunjin starts mixing his paints and you wiggle a little, making Felix moan under you, his nails digging into your hip.
"My legs hurt." you whine with a pout.
"Let's take a break." Hyunjin states, and you can see that he's adjusting himself in his pants, as his other hand holds the paintbrush.
"You have a sketch though," you start, sliding off of Felix and making him whimper. ",can't you like finish painting without us having to be in this position for so long?" you ask, your eyes falling down to Felix's cock, wet with your arousal.
Your face warms up and you tear your eyes away to look at Hyunjin expectantly, as Felix sits up, feeling a bit dizzy as he shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath in.
"I need you in the position just a bit longer. Just to get some shading done, then you can change positions." Hyunjin says, finally looking up at you.
His eyes rake all over your body and he licks his lips hungrily at the sight.
"What, you hate being on top of our Lixie that much?" he decides to tease to calm himself down.
"As much as I love cockwarming Lix, my legs are cramping." you state nonchalantly, making Felix cough behind you as he stands up.
"You okay there, angel?" Hyunjin asks.
"Perfect." Felix nods but you can see that his eyes are almost crossed from the need to be touched.
You laugh under your breath, drinking some water before sitting down and stretching your legs.
Hyunjin stands up abruptly, making his way to you as Felix sips on his chocolate.
You look up at him and before you can ask him what he's doing, Hyunjin kneels before you, his fingers wrapping around your ankle as he brings your foot on his thigh.
"W-what..." you start but he shushes you, his hands wrapping around your calf as he gently massages you, soothing out the tension in your muscles.
Your pussy keeps clenching around nothing as Hyunjin stares into your eyes darkly yet his touch is so sweet.
You smirk a little, sliding your foot on his flesh before gently resting it on the bulge in his pants.
Hyunjin sucks in a breath, closing his eyes for a moment as his hands squeeze you a little harder.
"Be careful, sweetheart." he warns you but you want to play, so you press harder into him, wiggling your toes against his tip, realizing quickly he isn't wearing any underwear.
Hyunjin looks up at you, narrowing his eyes with a smirk.
"Lix, come here for a sec." Felix makes his way to the two of you instantly.
"Entertain our sweetheart. Perhaps she needs a distraction." Hyunjin winks at Felix, and Felix returns the wink with a smirk of his own as he stands in front of you.
You look up at Felix and he puts his hand on the back of your head, gently caressing you as his other hand holds his cock, bringing it closer to your lips which fall open immediately, letting him gently push his tip inside your mouth.
It's not the first time you've done this, but you never tasted yourself on him or done this with Hyunjin in the room and it makes you moan around him, Felix's hips stuttering as he pushes in more.
Hyunjin whines quietly as he starts massaging your other leg and Felix holds your head in place, fucking into you slowly.
"See how good you can be for us, sweetheart." Hyunjin's voice is low and you struggle to look down at him as Felix slides his cock deeper inside you, your throat adjusting to take him.
Hyunjin's hands wander up towards your thigh, squeezing and massaging the flesh there, his fingertips dangerously close to your wet core.
By now you're dripping on the sheets, and Hyunjin subtly parts your legs just to take a look at your cunt and the sight of your glistening folds has him groaning.
Without a word he leans in and starts kissing up your thigh.
You jolt a little, whimpering around Felix's length as his eyes fall down to see Hyunjin kissing and nipping at your flesh.
The sight makes him twitch inside your hot mouth as Hyunjin comes closer and closer to your core.
He worships your inner thighs with his lips, tongue and teeth as Felix pushes his cock deep inside you, making you gag a little.
You know he's about to apologize so you start bobbing your head on his length just to prove to him that you don't mind, rather the opposite, you love it.
Felix's fingers grip at your hair as he lets you take control, wetting his cock with your spit as you close your eyes and get into it.
Just as you're beginning to lose yourself, Hyunjin suddenly buries his face in your cunt and inhales deeply, making you aware of him.
"You smell so sweet." Hyunjin almost growls. "Fuck the paintings." he mumbles against you and your legs tremble but be grips them, pulling them over his shoulders before his lips attach to your lower ones.
"Shit." Felix thrusts into you, the sight of Hyunjin's plump lips against your cunt as he kisses you and sucks on your clit, his tongue darting out to gather all your dripping juices drives him insane and he can feel the familiar build up inside his gut.
"I'm gonna cum." Felix whines as he continues fucking your face and you're a mess, drooling on his cock, your legs shaking from the way Hyunjin eats you out, like he's never tasted anything better in his entire life.
The slurping noises Hyunjin makes as he presses his lips and nose as hard as he can into you, his tongue fucking your clenching hole, bring Felix to the edge and he twitches inside you as you grip onto Hyunjin's hair making him groan into your pussy.
"Ah, y/n!" Felix moans loudly as he shoots his load down your throat and you swallow readily, not letting a drop go to waste as you milk him dry.
Felix pulls out of you, trying to come to his senses and catch a breath just as Hyunjin is about to lean away and throw some snarky remark but Felix is quick to grip his head and push him back into you, making him moan.
"Finish what you started, Hyunjin." Felix's voice is deep, his eyes sharp and electricity shoots through your body when he takes charge like that.
Hyunjin's eyes roll back in his head as he eats you out even more hungrily, palming his erection harshly through his pants, a wet spot appearing on them.
Felix smooths out Hyunjin's hair with a smirk.
"Good boy." Felix's deep voice rings out and Hyunjin groans deeply, bucking his hips into his hand, very obviously moaning into you and you whimper, you're so close to release.
Felix decides to help you feel even better as he sits down next to you and leans in to suck your nipple in his mouth, his fingers playing with the other one.
The combined stimulation proves to be too much and you cum hard, painting Hyunjin's face in your pleasure and he whines lapping you up and licking at his lips.
"Now I understand why you love being between y/n's legs so much." Hyunjin pants as he looks up at Felix, his hand shoved in his sweatpants.
"I'm right here, you know." you chuckle and he stands up.
"I know sweetheart. Ah, please help me." Hyunjin whines, pulling his cock out as it twitches miserably in his hand, pre-cum dribbling from the tip.
"Let me." Felix interjects, sensing that you need to come to your senses a little bit and let your throat rest.
"Be my guest." Hyunjin smirks as Felix sits right in front of Hyunjin's core.
You gasp quietly at the sight before you, Felix wrapping his lips around Hyunjin's dick and Hyunjin tangling his hand in Felix's hair making him take more as he guides him.
You get desperate all over again, your hand reaching between your legs to play with your puffy clit as you observe your best friends lost in pleasure; Hyunjin's head thrown back as he moves his hips purposefully, languidly, fucking Felix's mouth, his big hands gripping his hair and controlling him as Felix drools around him, his eyes squeezed shut, his hands digging into Hyunjin's thighs.
"Oh god." you whine as you push two fingers inside your pussy and start fucking yourself with the same speed Hyunjin is moving his hips against your friend's plump lips.
Hyunjin opens his eyes and looks at you with a smirk before he looks at Felix.
"Looks like you're the good boy now." he says lowly before snapping his hips into Felix harshly, making him gag as tears spill from his eyes and for a moment you get worried but you see that his cock is twitching against his thigh at the way Hyunjin is handling him, fucking harder into him, making the tip of his cock hit the back of Felix's throat.
You speed up with your fingers, your other hand coming up to play with your aroused nipples as Felix cries against Hyunjin, gripping his thighs and as his nails dig into his flesh and break skin, Hyunjin whines loudly and cums, painting Felix's throat with his cum.
"Don't swallow." Hyunjin warns and Felix sputters a little, some of the cum seeping out of his lips.
"Come here, beautiful." he beckons you as you stop what you were doing and come closer to Felix.
"Kiss her." Hyunjin commands and Felix grabs your face gently and you open your mouth to let Felix push Hyunjin's cum on your tongue.
The two of you make out, playing with his cum and Hyunjin joins in, grabbing the back of your heads, he leans in and kisses you first, tasting himself on your tongue then he does the same to Felix, wiping his tears as he kisses him.
"You've no idea how long I wanted you both." Hyunjin exhales, his eyes shiny.
"Kinda did. You are obvious, eye-fucking us whenever we're together." you smirk.
"You humped my ass while we were sleeping here once." Felix added with a flush on his cheeks and Hyunjin hits his arm as he got embarassed.
"Shut up, I was half asleep then." he mutters and the two of you chuckle.
You lean in and place a chaste kiss on his cheek.
"Are we gonna continue or what?" you smirk. "Or are you going back to painting? Was that just a ruse to get us naked and fuck us?"
"It wasn't! I genuinely wanted to paint you!" Hyunjin pouts.
"Okay no need to get defensive, prince." you wink.
"We can get back to painting some other time." Felix chimes in and you agree, leaning in to kiss Hyunjin to get him back in the mood.
It doesn't take long before he lays you down, with Felix on your left side and Hyunjin between your legs.
"I want to worship you, my beautiful sweetheart." Hyunjin grabs your foot and starts kissing your toes.
You whimper a little and Felix leans over you, pressing his lips into yours.
There are so many hands on you that you can't even think straight, your mind is cloudy, your pussy is soaking and you can't stop arching off the bed, your body begging for more.
Hyunjin worships your feet, kissing them and licking them, sucking on your toes, his lips pressing into your ankles gently; while Felix's face is buried in your neck, his teeth sinking into your skin and leaving purple bruises as he marks you, his hands slide all over your chest and stomach until he lets his hand settle over your pussy as he cups it.
"Ah!" you whine as Felix runs his fingers on your folds before stopping at your clit and pressing into it.
You moan quietly, your eyes closed in bliss as you play with Felix's hair, your other hand gripping the sheet.
Hyunjin kisses up your leg until his face is close to your cunt for the second time tonight.
"Need to taste you again." he mutters and you open your eyes to look at him as Felix retracts his hand and instead puts it on your breast, massaging it and playing with your sensitive nipple.
Hyunjin doesn't wait, he dives in, his tongue lapping at you again as you drip on him.
"Come, angel." he calls out to Felix, gently taking his hand in his and pulling him to kneel between your legs too.
You groan when they start making out, both of them battling for dominance but ultimately it's Hyunjin who lets Felix tilt his head with a fistful of his hair gripped.
When they part, a string of saliva connects them and they smirk at each other before leaning in closer to your core.
You almost yelp when both of their tongues start playing with your throbbing pussy, Hyunjin pushing his inside you and sliding over your folds, Felix flicking your clit with his and meeting Hyunjin in the middle where they move together against your cunt.
With your legs spread as they hold your thighs, your best friends continue to lap at you, their tongues meeting constantly as they make out, their spit and your slick making everything even more wet and naughty.
They both eat you out like you're the sweetest treat ever as Hyunjin keeps dipping his tongue into your hole, Felix concentrating on your sensitive clit, sometimes sliding down to lick at Hyunjin's tongue and your hole.
Your legs start trembling and you can't hold in anymore, you let go, gripping at the bed, your hips spasming as you squirt all over their faces.
"Fuck, she squirted for us." Hyunjin groans, lapping at you.
"What a good girl." Felix adds, looking up at you darkly as he kisses your inner thigh.
Hyunjin leans back and Felix grabs his face, kissing him hungrily and sucking on his tongue, making Hyunjin grind his cock against the mattress.
"I need you inside." you whimper when they lift up to look at you.
"Which one of us, sweetheart?" Hyunjin asks, as Felix gently caresses your thighs and waist.
"Both." you whine.
"Both?" Felix's eyes widen. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Please."
"Whatever our princess wants, she gets." Hyunjin smirks, fingertips teasing your clenching pussy.
"Lixie, get under me." you lift up and Felix lays down, his eyes becoming hazy instantly, his lips parting as he stares at you in awe.
You throw your leg over him as you hover, before grabbing his cock and sliding it inside you with ease.
Felix moans, arching off the bed as you adjust yourself.
You lean down, pressing your chest on his as Hyunjin shuffles behind you.
"Make some room for me." he almost whines, making Felix chuckle.
"Always." you say as Hyunjin presses himself behind you, the tip of his cock on your already stuffed pussy and you whimper.
"Are you sure you can take both of us?" Hyunjin teases, prodding at you with his tip.
"Y-yes. Don't make me wait anymore, please Jinnie." you moan as Felix caresses your head.
"As you wish, love." Hyunjin whispers, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as he pushes in.
It's tight and it stings but you love the feeling of your best friends stretching your little cunt at the same time.
"Fuck, so tight." Hyunjin groans, pushing in slowly as you whimper, tears gathering in your eyes.
"You're doing so good, darling." Felix praises you, his hands gentle on your soft skin.
"Mhm, taking us so well." Hyunjin moans, pushing in as much as he could.
"Ah!" you moan, your pussy stretched and dripping on their cocks.
"Angel." Hyunjin looks at Felix, their hands finding each other as their fingers entwine.
Hyunjin's other hand is on your hips, while Felix gently holds your head, caressing the back of your neck.
"Tell us when to move, love." Felix kisses your forehead.
"You can move." you say breathlessly, as your pussy clenches around them eagerly.
Both of them start dragging their cocks inside you, opening you up with each gentle and languid thrust, their lengths rubbing against each other in the tight, warm space.
"F-feel so good!" you exclaim, your eyes crossing from pleasure already.
"Yeah. S-so good." Felix whines, fucking up into you.
"Ah, my loves. I love you so much." Hyunjin groans, his lips dragging on your skin, face buried in your neck.
"Love you too." you whimper.
"It's just the three of us. Forever." Hyunjin grips Felix's hand and your hip harder, nails digging into your skin.
"Mm yes." Felix groans as the two of them speed up, their cocks filling you up constantly, the squelching sounds so loud in the big room.
You've never felt this full or this wet as they fuck into you desperately, pressing into your sweet spot and stretching your little pussy just for them.
"Lix." Hyunjin moans, releasing his hand and lifting up a little to angle his hips better as he holds yours.
Felix smirks faintly, wrapping his arms around you before the two of them start fucking your hard, using you like a little fuck toy as you grip at Felix and moan, becoming putty between them, letting them have complete control over you.
"Ah, ah, ah, L-Lixie! Jinnie!" you whimper and babble as your orgasm builds up.
"Squirt on our cocks, sweetheart. Please." Hyunjin ruts into you desperately, making both yours and Felix's eyes roll back as he matches his pace and fucks up into you as hard as he can.
You dig your nails into Felix's arms and let go, cumming and squirting around them as you clench making them both groan.
"I'm gonna cum, ah!" Hyunjin whines.
"Are you gonna be a good girl and take our cum?" Felix asks, his lips brushing yours.
"Y-yes, please." you moan, your vision cloudy as your body burns up.
All three of you are on fire and slippery from sweat, holding each other tight as Hyunjin and Felix reach climax, both of them cumming inside you, filling your pussy up to the brim, making you cum with them again.
"Shit." Felix whimpers as Hyunjin pulls out first.
Felix helps you as he lays you down and you whimper, your pussy throbbing from the stretch you just endured, all of your releases gushing out of you.
"Are you okay, beautiful?" Hyunjin hovers over you, his hands gentle on your face as Felix slowly stands up to retrieve a wet cloth and some water.
"Mm. Perfect." you smile blissfully and Hyunjin giggles, leaning down to kiss you gently, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth before leaving more sweet pecks against your mouth.
Felix kneels on the bed and cleans you up gently and Hyunjin sits up, quickly kissing Felix too.
"I'm gonna go run us a bath." he says.
"Are you in any pain?" Felix asks and you can't help swooning at the thought of having two sweet men who care about you.
"No, I'm okay." you say and he smiles.
"Good." he kisses you too and before long, the three of you are in the bath together.
As always, you relax at first before one of you starts getting playful which is usually Felix who splashes Hyunjin's face with water.
It's not that different this time as you sit between Felix's legs, leaning your back on his chest, your legs on Hyunjin's thigh as he caresses your feet.
It's silent and relaxing for some time as you melt into the warm water with your two lovers until Felix decides to joke around, splashing Hyunjin's face and making him whine dramatically before he returns the favor, you being the victim in between them.
The bathroom fills with sounds of laughter, stupid insults and splashes of water for some time before you finally manage to calm down.
The three of you sleep naked that night, you between your two favorite boys, feeling like you have the whole world in your hands when you have them.
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In the morning, you're tangled up with Felix, his face smushed into your chest as you hear the familiar clicks of Hyunjin's camera.
Your eyes slowly flutter open to see a still very naked Hyunjin holding his camera, a cheeky grin on his pretty face.
"Hyunjin. Were you taking pics of us?" you almost growl at him, making Felix stir.
Hyunjin giggles and then bursts into full on laughter as you sit up, grabbing a pillow and throwing at him.
Felix looks at you confusedly, his hair a royal mess and eyes barely open as Hyunjin dodges your attack only to twirl away laughing.
"You were too adorable not to!" he yelps.
"I swear I'm gonna kill you!" you yell out and Felix puts his arm around your waist, pulling you back down.
"We can kill him later, I wanna sleep more." he mumbles and you chuckle, your eyes still laced with sleep too.
"Hyun! Come join us!" you beckon and Hyunjin appears from the kitchen.
"Promise not to kill me." he pouts.
"Eh, you're safe." you say and he makes his way to the bed slowly and lays down. "For now." you add and he giggles, kissing your neck as he wraps his arm around the both of you.
You don't know where the three of you start or end, all tangled up together in the warmth of the sun and the soft sheets, but you know it would always be like that with them.
Just the three of you against the world.
Endlessly.
Forever.
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Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette
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musical-chick-13 · 1 year ago
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The thing is, like...yeah, a lot of times, the Social Exclusion I've experienced has been from people I probably wouldn't have wanted to be friends with anyway. At the very least, if someone is willing to do that, if someone is going to be that judgmental over things that don't actually matter, then any actual friendship with them probably wouldn't last very long.
But...it still hurts. Because regardless of how you actually feel about these people, it's still another instance of somebody telling you that you're too annoying or too much or too emotional or too whatever. It's still one more thing that people don't even give you the choice to have? And if you hear this over and over again, if it happens everywhere you go, then after a certain point it gets difficult to not internalize it at least a little bit.
It's been 30 years of this and it never gets any easier.
#and obviously I DO have friends who mean a great deal to me. I'm not discounting that at ALL.#the sad unfortunate fact is that the vast majority of those people live far away from me#so if I want to find any kind of community that I can actually access on a regular basis...if I want to be part of like. an actual Group.#(as opposed to having a few distinct individual people I hang out with occasionally or speak to sometimes) then...that kind of.#depends on people in my general immediate sphere like. accepting me. on having several to a bunch of them accepting me.#I cannot control that! and I can try to be a kind person and live out my values and be genuine and patient and authentic and understanding#and all of the things that are important to me but I CANNOT CONTROL WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO. THIS IS NOT UP TO ME.#it's so incredibly frustrating whenever people go 'just love yourself' because yeah we SHOULD all work toward being okay with#ourselves but humans crave community. most of us need emotional support! me loving myself isn't going to guarantee those#things because OTHER PEOPLE need to be involved and view me positively for that!!!!! and generally they just don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(it also doesn't help that a lot of Groups™/communities/etc. have like. one or a few people who are kind of The Head Of The Group#and either explicitly or implicitly run everything. so even if the GROUP MEMBERS are okay with you. if that one or two people aren't then#tough luck you STILL are prevented from entering that particular social space)#sorry something like. happened recently. in this vein. and it REALLY shouldn't have upset me but. you know. it still did.#my entire life has been this battle of trying to figure out how to be 'good enough' and my fucking GOD I am so tired#WHAT ARE THE RULES!!! WHAT IS THE KEY!!!!!!#like do I just have to put out an ad on craigslist?? TELL ME THE SECRET HERE#In the Vents
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demilypyro · 1 year ago
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So I've seen a few too many people on twitter talking about The Kiss Scene from the new Scott Pilgrim anime. People saying it's fetishistic and indulgent, people calling it male gazey, etc. And while the kiss itself is certainly a bit exaggerated, I felt like writing a bit about why I disagree, and why context is important, like it always is. But it basically turned into an extended analysis on the metatextual treatment of Roxie Richter. So bear with me. It's a long post.
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What really matters about this scene is not the kiss itself, but what precedes it. Not even just the fight scene just before it, but what precedes the whole anime series, really. And that's the Scott Pilgrim comic book, and the live action movie. Because in both, Roxie is a punchline.
She's a joke. Her character starts and ends with "one of the exes is actually a girl, I bet you didn't expect that." Jokes are made about Ramona's latent bisexuality, the movie especially treating it as funny and absurd, and her validity as a romantic interest is entirely written off by Ramona as being "just a phase." There's a fight scene, she's defeated by a man giving her an orgasm which implicitly calls her sexuality into question (come on), and the movie just moves on. It sucks. It really, really sucks.
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The comic fares a little better. It never veers into outright homophobia like the movie does, and while the line about Ramona having gone through a phase remains, Roxie actually gets one over on Scott when Ramona briefly gets back with Roxie. But Roxie is still only barely a character. Like all the other evil exes, she's just a stepping stone towards the male protagonist's development. She barely even gets any screentime before she's defeated by Scott's "power of love." But Roxie stands out, since she's the only villain who is queer, or at least had been confirmed queer at that point (hi Todd). In a series that champions multiple gay men in the supporting cast, the single undeniable lesbian in the story is a villain. She's labeled as evil, made fun of, pushed aside in favor of the men, and then discarded. Her screentime was never about her, or her feelings for Ramona. It was about the straight, male protagonist needing to overcome her. And that was Roxie Richter. An unfortunate victim of the 2010s.
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Fast forward to current year, and the new anime series is announced. Everybody sits down to watch the new series expecting another retelling of the same story, and.... hang on, that straight male protagonist I mentioned just died in the first episode. And now it's humanizing the villains from the original story. And there's Roxie, introduced alongside the other evil exes in the second episode, and she's being played entirely straight, without a punchline in sight. No jokes are made about her gender, no questions are made of her validity as one of Ramona's romantic interests. The narrative considers her important. In one episode, she already gets more respect than she did in either of the previous iterations of Scott Pilgrim. And this isn't even her focus episode yet... which happens to be the very next one.
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The anime series goes to great lengths to flesh out the original story's villains and to have Ramona reconcile with them. And I don't think it's a coincidence that Roxie gets to go first. While Matthew Patel gets his development in episode 2, Roxie is the first to directly confront Ramona, now our main protagonist. This is notable too because it's the only time the exes are encountered out of order. Roxie is supposed to be number 4, but she's first in line, and later on you realize that she's the only one who's out of sequence. She's the one who sets the precedent for the villains being redeemed. She's the most important character for Ramona to reconcile with.
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What follows is probably the most extensive, elaborate 1 on 1 fight scene in the whole show. Roxie fights like a wounded animal, her motions are desperate and pained. Ramona can only barely fight back against her onslaught. Different set-pieces fly by at breakneck speed as Roxie relentlessly lays her feelings at Ramona's feet through her attacks and her distraught shouts. And unlike the comic or the movie, Ramona acknowledges them, and sincerely apologizes. And the two end up just laying there, exhausted, reminiscing about when they were together.
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Only after this, after all of this, does the kiss scene happen. Roxie has been vindicated, she has reconciled with the person who hurt her, the narrative has deemed that her anger is justified and has redeemed her character. And she gets her victory lap by making the nearest other hot girl question her heterosexuality, sharing a sloppy kiss with her as the music triumphantly crescendos.
It's... a little self-congratulatory, honestly. But it's good. It's redemption for a character who had been mistreated for over a decade. And she punctuates the moment by being very, very gay where everyone can see it, no men anywhere in sight. Because this is her moment. And then she leaves the plot, on her own accord this time, while humming the hampster dance. What a legend. How could anything be wrong with this.
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mrsbarnesblog · 8 months ago
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i am not the only one who saw that, right?
masterlist
summary: your friends find out that you secretly dating their enemy, but their opinion might completely change when they see Rafe from another point of view
words count: 2.2k
warnings: secret relationship, pogue!reader, attempted assault, mention of blood, soft and protective Rafe
a/n: inbox is open for requests💘
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“You cannot be dating Rafe fucking Cameron, Y/N!” John B exclaimed, burying his hands in his hair and walking all around the place. 
“No, seriously, this is not a good idea.” Sarah looked at you, giving out a nervous laugh. 
You were currently surrounded by your friends, who were all practically yelling at you after they accidentally saw a message from Rafe on your phone. You were one of the pogues; you never hanged out around the kooks, but somehow, when you were visiting Sarah a few months ago, you got into a random conversation with Rafe, and since that moment, the connection between you two has only gotten stronger. 
It was an instant click and as much as you both tried to deny the spark, it was there. As you started going out, secretly from everyone, of course, you decided to keep it private until the right time. 
“Alright, guys, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I knew that this would be your reaction. It just happened, okay?” You rubbed the bridge of your nose, already feeling a headache from the tense situation. All of your friends were standing on the opposite side of you and it felt like they were just attacking you. 
“What were you thinking? You know that he hates people like us, like you. We are pogues, Y/N. How the hell did that even happen?” Kiara was standing with her hands on her hips, as her piercing eyes were studying you. You felt awful looking at Pope, who was the one who always supported you, but he just shook his head and stepped away. 
“I don’t know. It just happened. We talked once when Sarah left, then I accidentally met him a few times in town, and then he texted me. He’s not bad when you know him closer.” You sighed. “Look, I know Rafe was a lot of trouble for us. He did bad things; I know that. But he’s not like that; he’s sweet and caring, and he has never shown any sign of being disrespectful towards me. I just can’t deny my feelings for him.”
“Honey, Rafe is not a good person. He doesn’t care about anything or anyone; he’s evil, selfish and manipulative.” Sarah stepped closer to you, touching your hand. “He’ll play with you, hurt your feelings and just throw you away.”
“And he probably just wants to get into your pants.” JJ grumbled, also taking a defensive position. 
“I haven't even slept with him yet, JJ!” You desperately snapped at him. It felt ridiculous, like all of them turned against you at the same time. Sure, Rafe wasn’t the sweetest person to them before, but they didn’t even give you a chance to say something in your defense. “And you’re wrong too, Sarah. All of Rafe’s actions were just to get people’s attention and appreciation. All it took for me to get on his soft side was to just listen to him and give him some affection. Other people didn’t care enough, including you and your father. He needs someone who he can trust and open up to because he’s hurt.” 
“No, Y/N. If you think that he loves you, then he just got into your head. My brother doesn’t love anyone. It will end badly; I just know that.” 
Tears gathered in your eyes, and a lump in your throat made it difficult to say anything back, so you just stupidly stayed there. You had no strength to fight with all five of them at the same time. You turned around, silently getting back in the car, even though your head was filled with doubt and dark thoughts because of their words. 
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For the next few days, it was tough for all of you. You and the rest of the group were still close, and even though they were completely against your relationship, you still met and hung out. The pit in your heart was still there, no matter how hard you tried to act nonchalant and not let their words get into your head. 
Rafe noticed the change in your behavior—that you were upset with something—but he didn’t put any pressure on you and allowed you to decide for yourself when you wanted to open up. 
Pogues decided to go to some party on the cut near the beach and as much as you tried to refuse, Sarah and Kiara managed to drag you there. You all rarely went to such places, preferring to hang out in your little circle, but apparently everyone wanted to clear their heads and saw it as the best opportunity. 
It was pretty fun with a bunch of people you did not know, some music, and drinks, and you mostly hung out with your friends. Though quickly it got overwhelming and made you want to go home or at least go outside of the house to get some fresh air. As you left your friends and wanted out from the backyard to a part of the beach, you didn’t notice the guy who had been eyeing you the whole evening. 
He came out of nowhere from your back, his arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You yelled at the sudden and unwanted touch, and your heart seemed to drop into your stomach when you realised that it wasn’t just a joke from JJ, who liked to scare you. You started wiggling in his hands to get free, but he was fighting you back, dragging you up when you fell to your knees on the ground. 
It was such a mess trying to scratch and punch him that you almost did not notice his hand coming into contact with your face several times. You screamed again, this time loud enough, until you saw JJ running towards you. The guy behind you pushed you away as soon as he saw someone, and you fell to the ground with a loud huff. 
“That fucking bastard!” JJ was right near you, helping you to get up as tears streamed down your face. He tried to comfort you, checking your body for any injuries, but you pushed his hands away, wrapping your own around yourself in a defensive way.
“Oh my god, Y/N!” You heard Kiara, along with your other friends, calling your name. “What the hell happened?”
“H-he attacked me.” You sniffed, trying to catch your breath and, with shaking hands, reaching to the pocket of your jeans shorts to get out your phone. All of them looked at each other, questioning your actions, until you pressed someone’s contact button and put the phone to your ear. “Can y-you pick me up, p-please?” You sniffed again, now trembling from the adrenaline. 
“Baby? Are you crying? Where are you?” You heard your boyfriend’s concerned voice through the phone, feeling how JJ tensed beside you. 
“I’m on the cut. Near the beach. There’s a party and... Please, Rafe.” 
“I’m coming, angel. Just wait for me, ‘kay?” You heard the sound of the car engine at the other end of the line. Rafe didn’t ask any more questions, and as soon as you mumbled quiet 'mhm’ he ended the call. 
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You all heard him before you saw him. The sound of the tires drifting through the sandy street was loud, drawing attention to the expensive car that was unusual to see at this part of the island. 
Rafe didn’t bother to properly park, turn off the engine or even close the door when he saw you sitting on some old chaise lounge, with his sister and Kie trying to talk to you and your other friends arguing nearby. 
The girls stepped away from you as soon as they saw Rafe running towards you with a furious expression on his face and ready to deal with anyone who made you cry. It looked like he didn’t even care about the pogues, with whom he always had to get into arguments; he was fully focused on your shivering form.
“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” He squatted down in front of you, and you started sobbing again. Your hands immediately found their place around his neck, and, before he could even properly look at your face, you pulled him closer to get some sense of comfort from his warmth and smell. Rafe hugged you back, soothingly rubbing your back. His eyes shot towards your friends, who were watching in awe at the interaction. “Which one of you did that?”
“It’s not us, you idiot. Some guy jumped her when she walked outside.” Sarah said, rolling her eyes at her brother. “JJ heard screaming, and when we walked outside, he ran away.” Rafe pulled away, finally taking in your appearance.
Your knees were covered in dried blood mixed with the sand. He gently took your hands to see the palms scratched from you trying to catch yourself before hitting the ground. Rafe’s eyes were burning with fury, showing his side that he rarely revealed in front of you. His hand reached to move your hair from your face, noticing a red, now already turning purplish, bruise covering the side of your cheek.
“Holy shit, sweetheart.” He softly brushed his fingertips along your cheek and you leaned into the touch, closing your eyes. Your bottom lip started quivering and you bit inside your cheek to calm yourself down. “Sh-h im here, okay? You’re safe. Did you see him? What did he look like? Just tell me and I’ll deal with it.” He almost begged, but you only shook your head. JJ suddenly stepped closer, slightly hesitating to actually normally communicate with his longtime enemy,  but he thought that it was the least that he could do for you.
As much as he hated The Kooks King, JJ knew that Rafe was the best option to find the guy who hurt you. 
“Tall, with dark and curly hair. Never seen him before, probably someone new on the island, but I’ll recognize him.” They looked at each other for a moment, and Rafe just simply nodded, turning his attention back to you. 
“I’ll find him, ‘kay? I promise I will.” He gently took both of your hands in his, bringing them to his lips to place a soft kiss on your knuckles. “We should go now. I need to take care of your knees and that bruise, baby. You don’t mind going to Tanneyhill, yeah?”
“Thank you, Rafe.” You whispered, slightly bending forward to ask for a kiss. Rafe smiled at you, his thumbs gently swiped the leftovers of the tears under your eyes, and then he kissed you on your forehead, nose, and gently pecked your lips. 
Your heart flattered at his soft touches and for a second, it felt like you two were in your own little bubble. Rafe's eyes shimmered slightly in the moonlight, and the way he looked at you, soft and caring, made you want to kiss him again and again. You suddenly snapped out of the trance, looking back at your friends, who all had different levels of shock and uncertainty written on their faces. 
“C’mon, pretty girl.” Rafe stood up, lifting you in bridal style without an effort, carefully not to hurt your bleeding knees. He almost walked away, but then sighed, turning back to look at his sister. “You coming home with us or somethin’?”
“Um, no, I’ll be with John B. It seems like I would be third wheeling with you anyway.” She shrugged, not being able to keep a smile when you two met with your eyes. 
Rafe then looked at JJ, thinking his words over. “I appreciate it, Maybank.” 
They exchanged a tight nod, both slightly shocked that for the first time ever, they communicated without biting each other's heads off. You leaned closer to Rafe, comfortably nestling in his protective hands, and looked at your friends, who were still too shocked to say anything. 
“I’ll see you guys later, okay? 
Everyone agreed, saying goodbye to you and asking you to text them when you get there safely. They saw how Rafe made sure to slowly put you into the passenger seat, then circled the car and drove away. An awkward silence fell around them, everyone at a loss for words. 
“Okay, so I am not the only one who saw that, right?” Pope spoke first, looking around the place as if he were trying to find something. “Rafe freaking Cameron just was acting cute and didn’t threaten to do something to us?” His own body physically shrugged at the word ‘cute’.
“I don’t know, dude. We all just probably drank something and it’s messing with our heads.” 
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neverendingford · 1 year ago
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#tag talk#a short one today. I just.. idk.#I've realized I still haven't grown out of my twelve year old behavior of immediate hostility to people who function differently from me#I can view them from an outside perspective but I can't engage personally with people who are different from me#I can make the conscious choice to be kind and empathetic but it's always deliberate and painful effort.#which like. a lot of it is about what we're different on#I'm not going to apologize for hostility towards people with conservative. puritan. or fundamentalist views.#but other things are just innocuous human differences and my brain cannot allow that to exist in this my perfect mirror world#and I'm torn because I know I should be more accepting of difference and variance in the world but it's genuine work to maintain that#should I be expected to put out that energy? or can I not sit back with my limited social circle where I am comfortable.#idk. I will once again affirm that just because other people like me does not mean I have to like other people.#I have grown enough that I have gates in my walls now. and certain people are let in and out#but I still think I need to maintain that no-fly list for people who take a lot of coping to handle and do not provide any returns.#not to be utilitarian about it but social transaction isn't entirely false. I enjoy someone and they enjoy me therefore we hang out.#a good and healthy relationship should be mutually beneficial to some degree#parents receive a sense of fulfillment. legacy. and children receive support. patients receive help and therapist receive money#friends receive an emotional outlet. a social enjoyment. and a personal connection.#if your friends drain far more than they fill then maybe that's not sustainable friendship#jajaja I lied that wasn't a short ramble at all
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genderqueerdykes · 10 months ago
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as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.
let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.
i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.
i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.
it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.
queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.
also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.
not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.
some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.
please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.
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