#but honestly even than it won’t be enough to forgive that bullshit she pulled before the election

[capn-merca]

Chappel Roan also refused to encourage her audience to vote against making being trans illegal, and then went on SNL with a TERF. Her actions speak A LOT louder than her empty words; she’s just another cis “ally” who prides themselves on vocally supporting “those trans freaks” while being all to happy to sit back and let somebody else get rid of us. What a fucking coward. People like her don’t care about us anymore than we are a political argument to be won. Just once I’d like to be treated like a damn human being, but no, Chappel Roan is using me to gain clout with the queers, without ever actually having to stand up for us in a way that really matters, while actively throwing us under the bus. I really need her to shut up about trans people man, she was talking about how Trumps plans for us was no big deal! How the fuck is that in any way an ally? And again, she went on SNL with a well known TERF. She gotta shut up about trans people before I loose my entire fucking mind my god she makes me so fucking furious.

I should add that the main kick off for this rant was putting Gaga and Roan on the same level. Gaga is and will always be the goat. Also, sorry to be negative on what’s trying to be a positive post, seeing Chappell Roan beside Gaga just kinda set me off.

At least two major artists (Lady Gaga and Chappell Roan) making a point to vocally support trans people the Grammys is a big deal in this political climate.

[girlwiththereapertattoo]

begin again - part three

Jax Teller x female!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Jax grow closer... I don't know what else to say without revealing spoilers haha

Word count: 4k words

Warnings: very bad language, mentions of blood, physical & verbal abuse, angsty & some fluff

Author's note: I appreciate all the positive feedback I've received this far! It's much appreciated :) also, I'm bad at writing these summaries

If you’re in an abusive relationship or you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up and reach out to the correct people!

Beta read by @crucifixedbitch

PART ONE | PART TWO

💀💀💀💀💀

He’s late. The thought brings about a familiar uneasiness and your mind conjures images of a bloodied Jax lying unconscious in some dingy ditch. Jesus Christ.

“Mommy, why did you stop reading?”

S/N’s soft voice draws you back to reality. You look over to his bed where he’s laying beside Abel. “Did I stop reading?”

He giggles, “Yep.”

Oh. You look down at the book in your hand then back up at the boys. “I’m sorry, ace. I guess Mommy’s a bit tired.” And apparently, she’s distracted. You look back down at the book, willing yourself to remember your place.

“Cooper the Cat was stuck in the tree,” he reminds you.

“Right, Cooper the Cat!” your eyes hastily skim through the short paragraphs until you land at the right sentence. “Got it. ‘Help!’ cried Cooper from the tree…”

And just like that, all thoughts of Jax and his safety are shoved to the back of your mind to deal with at a later time. It’s your lucky day today, the boys have had a long day and they’re out before you reach the end of the book.

“I love you, ace,” you whisper to your son after you’ve kissed him goodnight.

It’s because of your love for S/N that you left Jax and the endless bullshit that comes with him. Anxiety-filled nights like this one are a thing of your past and you know you can’t allow yourself to be consumed by thoughts of him. Once you start, there’s no stopping you. You know this, very well, so why is there a sick feeling twisting in your gut? Because a small part of you is still in love with your ex.

Hope blooms when your phone vibrates in your pocket but it’s only B/N. It’s not that you’re not happy to see your boyfriend’s name on your phone screen, but the anxiety’s gnawing at your mind, and you’re desperate for it to be put to sleep. Fortunately for you, B/N’s in high spirits. He’s been frustrated with you lately, and wants you back in Charlotte — his insecurities about Jax are beginning to show.

It’s for that reason that you don’t tell him about S/N’s friendship with Abel.

“This time next week, you and S/N will be back home,” he muses.

“Yeah, we both can’t wait.” You feel disappointed at the realization, “It feels like forever, doesn’t it?”

And S/N has been asking about B/N more and more these days but you don’t tell that to him, afraid that he’ll catch the earliest flight to California. Truthfully, you’re not exactly ready to let Jax out of your life which you’ll be forced to do if B/N’s in Charming. You see, he’s… protective and doesn’t like the idea of you hanging around men. Especially Jax. Hell, he almost stopped you from attending your own mother’s funeral.

Of course, it was under the guise of being the protective boyfriend. “Are you sure it’s safe for you to be in the same town as your violent biker ex?” He said all the right things and did everything in his power to talk you out of the decision but in the end, he failed to convince you to stay away.

“Goodnight, I love you.”

You hang up just in time to hear Jax’s motorcycle pull up out front. The relief is quickly overshadowed by concern when you open the door and are greeted by a bloody-faced Jax.

“I’m late.”

“I’m more concerned about that gash on your brow. Come in.” You open the door wider, “If you’re here to get Abel, he’s asleep. You can fetch him in the morning.”

“Shit.” You step aside to allow him access into the house, “I’m sorry, Y/N, I got caught up in Oakland.”

“It’s fine. S/N was happy to have Abel stay the night.”

He smiles, “Thank you.”

You return his smile, “We should clean that before it gets infected.” Before you can process your actions, you’re leaning closer to take a better look at the cut. “I can’t see much, you should rinse it with water. I’ll go grab the first aid kit.”

“It’s late, I’ll have Chibs take care of the cut.”

“Meet me in the kitchen,” you start for the bathroom, “rinse the cut.”

You grab the first aid kit from the bathroom and find Jax sitting at the breakfast table, pensively staring into space, a half-drunk bottle of water sitting in front of him.

“Here.”

Your voice pulls him from his reverie. His eyes drop to the pill container in your hand and he arches a brow.

“It’s for the pain.”

“Thanks.” He accepts the pills and pops the cap open, “I should’ve called.”

“It’s fine.” You do your best to keep a casualness in your voice when you ask, “What was happening in Oakland? Is everyone okay?”

He gazes at you for a long while before he responds, gauging where your head is at. “Yeah, we’re all fine.”

“Should I be worried?”

He slowly shakes his head, “No.”

You watch him take the pain medication, there are so many questions to ask, questions only Jax has answers to.

“Is it safe for you to be here?”

He swallows the pills and smiles, “I wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t safe. Don’t worry, you and S/N are safe.”

Hesitantly, you nod as you pull a chair from the table. In a bid to lighten the mood, you tell him, “No offense, Jackie, but you look like shit.”

“I feel like shit,” he chuckles.

You take your seat in front of him and suppress the urge to smile, “Who punched your handsome mug?”

“I was pistol-whipped.”

“Ouch.” Scooting forward in your chair, you lean towards Jax to get a better look at the rinsed cut, and for a very brief moment, your eyes lock with his before they dart up to his cut. “It’s like the good ol’ days, isn’t it?”

“You playin’ nurse?”

“Yeah.”

Back in the day, nights like these were common. Jax would sit at this very table, at the very chair he’s sat on, whilst you tended to his cuts and bruises. Mother would be sitting in the living room, hurling insults at both you and Jax. She would take any chance to remind you that you were making a mistake you would regret for the rest of your life.

“Your mom hated me.”

Your eyes lock with his, “In her defense, you would always be finding ways to antagonize her.”

And in return, your mother would call Jax all kinds of names but even that wouldn’t keep him away. Nothing ever could keep him from you. Memories of Jax sneaking into your room late at night come to mind. “I had to come kiss my girl goodnight,” he’d tell you.

“We were pretty wild back then,” you reminisce.

And you were madly in love with each other, however, you keep that part to yourself. The situation’s complicated enough without the added layer. You’ve barely mustered the courage to mention B/N’s existence to Jax because, in all honesty, you’re not quite sure how he might react to another man raising his son. The thought of his reaction fills you with dread. Heaven knows he’ll give you a hard time about leaving next week.

Gah, it’s all too much! With a shake of your head, you dismiss all thoughts and grab the ointment from the kit. “Shall we?”

He nods and shuts his eye for you to apply it on the cut. A silence descends upon the kitchen and neither of you makes an effort to fill it.

“You’re good to go,” you announce once you’re done.

“Thanks.”

“I couldn’t risk it getting infected.”

More than anything, you don’t want S/N to see Mommy’s friend sporting cuts on his face. He’ll ask questions, probably mention it to B/N, and you’re not looking to have that drama in your life.

“Are you hungry? I’m assuming you haven’t had your dinner…”

“Nah, but I should get going.”

Your mood deflates at his announcement. The truth is you don’t want him to leave but how do you stop him without giving him the wrong idea? Why are you even stopping him from leaving?

“Stay,” you blurt out.

“Stay?”

“Yeah, there’s the guest bedroom. It’s late and you’re medicated and you shouldn’t be driving and–”

“I have nothing to wear.”

“Sure you do.” You take a breath to compose yourself, “I was cleaning out the closets the other day and I found some of your old stuff. They’re clean, I uh, washed them. Everything is oversized, they should still fit you.”

You had intended to take them to Goodwill and you will but right now, Jax needs them.

“Look, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

It isn’t a lie but it isn’t the full truth. Honestly? You just want him near you. It’s wrong, and you understand the implications and know that B/N won’t be happy should he find out, but one night wouldn’t be harmful to anyone, right? Besides, he’ll be sleeping in the guest bedroom.

He thoughtfully considers your proposition. After a stretched silence, he reluctantly accepts your offer.

“Great,” you perk up, “I’ll warm up your dinner.”

You make some conversation over dinner, none of the heavy shit, mostly catching up on all you’ve missed in the four years you’ve been away. He tells you about the club, and that Opie met someone and they’re now married.

“And how about you? Is there anyone special in your life?”

He doesn’t answer your question, not that you expect him to. You just can’t help but be curious. After dinner, he heads over to the bathroom to take his shower whilst you load the dishwasher and dig through the laundry to look for Jax’s old t-shirts and sweats. The guilt sets in and you fight the urge to call B/N to tell him about Jax.

You’re dialing his number when you stop yourself. “Geez, Y/N!” you toss your phone into the laundry basket and step back to create distance between you and the device. Think about this. The last thing you need is B/N bulldozing into Charming and starting shit with Jax and the M.C. — that could be fatal. No, Jax staying the night is you helping out an old friend, there’s nothing more to it.

Grabbing the folded pile of clothing, you make your way down the hall to the guest bedroom and find Jax waiting patiently on the bed for you. Nothing but a towel tied around his waist.

“I should’ve knocked, I’m sorry.”

He rises off the bed and that’s when you get a clear view of his torso, and the tattoo inscribed on his ribcage.

“You’ve proved your point, Jax, now let’s go.” “No, why?” You look over your shoulder to the big, tattooed man standing over by the counter, laughing at whatever joke he’s just been told. You’re at some grimy tattoo parlor, somewhere in Reno, and Jax’s about to get your name tattooed on his body. His ribcage to be exact. The sentiment is sweet, you admit, but it’s a permanent decision, and you’re only 17. You look back at Jax who’s now laying shirtless on the tattoo chair, “Do you realize how insane this is?” He smiles brightly as he shakes his head. “Do you have a death wish? Gemma’ll kill us both when she sees this.” Part of her rage will be due to the fact that it’s your name on his ribcage instead of hers. “And what if they find out we’ve lied about our age?” “Babe, will you relax? They won’t, this place is a dump.” Which is exactly why he shouldn’t get his first-ever tattoo done here. “There’s no talking you out of this, huh?” “No.” He laces his fingers with yours and raises your hand to press a kiss to its back, “This is what I want to do. I don’t care what my mom thinks.” “And the pain? You don’t care about that either?” He shakes his head, “No.” You glance at the stencil transfer on his ribcage and sigh. “I know you don’t have to do this–” “I want to do this.” “And there’s clearly no talking you out of this.” “Yeah.” You squeeze his hand and flash him a reassuring smile, “Do you want me to hold your hand?” His smile returns, brighter than ever, “I’d appreciate it, darlin’.” “You’re insane, you know that, right?” He nods. “Only because I love you.” You lean over to lock your lips in a kiss — you don’t doubt it for a second.

You pry your eyes from his torso, forcing yourself to face the now smirking Jax. Right, his clothes!

You hold out the pile to him, “Did you put your clothes in the hamper?”

He accepts them and murmurs ‘thanks’ before he responds to your question. “Yeah, just like you said.”

“Okay,” you fight off the urge to look down at his ribcage. He kept it. “I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight Jax.”

Spinning on your heels, you scurry out the room before you do something you’ll regret later.

💀💀💀💀💀

“Mommy! Come see!”

S/N and Abel’s laughter sounds from the living room. Saturday mornings have always been your favorite. Sleeping in is always a winner in your books, a vital part of any Saturday routine, and once you’re up, B/N takes S/N out of the house whilst you prepare breakfast. Last weekend was S/N’s first Saturday away from B/N and he was miserable. This Saturday is different.

“Mommy?” More laughter sounds, “You will miss it!”

Lowering the heat, you abandon your cooking and make your way over to the living room. A slouched Jax is taking up most of the three-seater with S/N and Abel on either side of him, all three pairs of eyes fixed on the television screen.

“What’s got you laughing so much, ace?” You take a seat on the armrest and press a kiss to the top of your son’s head. “Beaky Buzzard?”

“Yeah.” He looks up at you, “Are you coming to sit with us?”

“No, Mommy’s got to make breakfast.”

You’d like nothing more than to stick around and watch cartoons with them but there’s breakfast to prepare. When you walk back into the kitchen, you discover your phone vibrating on the counter and you just know it’s B/N. It’s his fifth attempt in the last half-hour, probably looking to speak to S/N, but that just isn’t a good idea. Not when Jax is in the house. You’re being deceitful to both parties, but the timing just isn’t right.

B/N would lose it if he found out about Jax’s regular visits, and you don’t know how Jax would react to B/N’s existence in your life and the role he plays in your son’s life. It would ruin a perfectly good morning. The day got off to a good start with the news of the sale of your childhood home, and your son’s mood is the best it’s been all week. Why would you even think to ruin it by starting trouble with B/N?

It’s not worth it. You’ll just have to come up with a story to tell him later.

“Breakfast is served!”

The boys come barreling in and take their places at the breakfast table. You assist the two youngest boys to plate up their food before you plate up for yourself. Everyone digs into the food, and the compliments you receive are a definite boost for the ego. You listen intently as S/N and Abel excitedly recount the Looney Tune episode they’d watched earlier and S/N’s beside himself with laughter.

The happy moment is disrupted by the unwelcomed vibration of your phone on the counter.

“Is that Daddy calling?”

Shit! You wince at the name ‘Daddy’. It’s what S/N always calls B/N but somehow, it doesn’t feel right when Jax’s sitting across the table from him.

“Mommy?”

“Yeah, ace?” you look over to him, very aware of Jax’s eyes burning into the back of your head.

“Is that Daddy calling?”

“No, it’s probably the estate agent.” It’s not a convincing lie, but you’re caught off guard and can’t come up with something better. “She’s calling about the house.”

“When is Daddy calling?”

“Probably later.” You hate that you’re being so dismissive. “We’ll call him after Abel and Jax leave, okay?”

He looks like he might ask another question, maybe press for a better answer, but he resumes eating his food. You avoid Jax’s eyes for the remainder of breakfast. He helps you clear the table and load the dishwasher in painful silence. Once Jax has helped you load the dishes, he leaves you alone in the kitchen. Can the morning get any worse? Apparently, it can. You unlock your phone to find multiple texts from an irate B/N.

He didn’t take kindly to you ignoring all ten of his calls. Shit. You’re on the verge of tears when Jax saunters into the kitchen.

“Abel and I are leaving.”

You nod, unsure of how to respond. “You’ll ride on your bike with Abel?”

“No. Ratboy’s waiting out front with the van.”

“Ratboy?”

“The new prospect.”

“And will we see Abel tomorrow?”

His impassive expression says it all. Your gut twists with anxiety at the thought of not seeing Jax again before you leave Charming. How do you make this right?

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He slowly shakes his head. Just then S/N and Abel sprint into the kitchen, bustling with energy. Abel hugs you goodbye before the boys run back out of the kitchen and out of the house onto the front yard.

“I’m leaving my bike here. I’ll come by to get it later.”

“Cool. Yeah, that’s fine.”

You walk Jax out, and just like he’d said, Ratboy is waiting out front in a black van. Together with S/N, you watch Jax and Abel climb into the van and drive off.

“Can we call Daddy now?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” you lift him up and carry him towards the house. “Did you have a good time with Abel?”

He nods his little human head, a bright grin plastered on his perfect face. Once inside the house, you dial B/N’s number but he doesn’t pick up, in fact, it seems his phone’s off. Strange.

“I think his phone’s off, ace.”

His face falls. In an effort to brighten his mood, you suggest driving over to the playground.

“When is Abel coming back to play?”

You inwardly sigh. It looks like today’ll be one long ass day.

💀💀💀💀💀

The last person you expect to find standing on the other side of your front door is B/N and yet here he is, and he looks anything but pleased with you. Oh, shit. Your heart sinks at the sight of him, the chill of fear coursing through your body, and your mouth dries.

“B/N?”

His unsettling smile causes the hairs on the back of your neck to raise. “Hi, Toots. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Your movement’s robot-like as you step away from the door to make way for him. He walks past you, and once inside, his eyes search around the small space.

“Are you home alone?”

You seem to have forgotten how to speak.

“Toots?”

“S/N… He’s, uh… He’s asleep.”

He murmurs a soft ‘good’ before he turns around to pull you into an embrace. For a moment, you stand frozen, your brain seized up and you feel like a foreigner in your own body.

“What’s the matter, Toots? You don’t look too happy to see me. Were you expecting someone else?”

Yes. “No.” Moving one arm at a time, you return B/N’s embrace and do your best to calm your nerves. You’ve done nothing wrong, he’s not going to hurt you, you repeat over and over until he releases you from his hold. “I just wasn’t expecting you to come all this way.”

“It’s only a five-hour flight.”

Why the fuck are you here?

As if he read your mind, he tells you. “I missed you guys so much, I thought I’d surprise you,” with a tight smile, he adds, “You’re not very good at answering my calls.”

“I’m sorry.”

B/N hauls his luggage from the porch and dumps it onto the floor before he makes his way over to the living room. You follow slowly behind him, watching as he settles onto the couch and searches for the television remote.

“C-can I get you anything?”

“Join me,” it’s an order.

You drag your feet over to the couch and take your place next to him. Casually, he slings an arm over your shoulder and forcefully pulls you into his side.

“There. Now you’re close.”

You can’t bring yourself to fake a smile. Too petrified. He presses a kiss to the side of your head and whispers into your ear to relax.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

He’s told you that lie far too many times in the past.

“Are you enjoying being back in Charming?”

You nod, the words caught in your throat.

“What are you? Mute? Use your fucking words, Toots.”

“It’s good to be back.” Your voice is shaky, barely recognizable. “I missed it here”

His fingers start stroking up and down your upper arm. “Good.”

Your eyes fix on the blank television screen in front of you.

“Is he here? Is he hiding in one of the rooms?”

“Who?”

“Your white trash biker ex!”

You jump up, surprised by him raising his voice so suddenly. “Jax? No! Why would he be here?”

“You lying piece of shit,” he spits out, shoving you away from him, the force sending you to the ground. “I saw his bike parked out front. I’ll ask you again, is he here?”

“No, B/N,” tears fill your eyes, you know exactly what’s to follow but still, you plead, “Don’t do this here. Not now, please, baby.”

“Shut up!” He raises to his feet, towering over you, and kicks at your trembling frame. “No one’s touched you, why the fuck are you crying?”

“I’m sorry.” You swipe the tears from your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t… I don’t know whose bike that is.”

“Are you cheating on me, you whore?”

Frantically, you shake your head.

“I said use your fucking words.”

You bring a trembling hand to your mouth to muffle your sobs.

“I asked you a question, you dumb bitch!”

“No. No. No.” You crawl over to him, closing the distance between you. “I’d never, baby. Never ever.”

“That doesn’t explain why a bike’s parked outside your house.”

“B/N, please,” you plead softly. “S/N’s asleep, we can do this another–”

The words are lost when he harshly grabs your face and shoves you onto your back. Both hands cover your mouth to muffle your pained cries. He’s vicious, and tonight, he’s out for blood.

“Get up, you–”

Knock, knock, knock! You’ve never been more relieved in your life. B/N shoots you a warning glare, daring you to make a move. A few moments later, the knocks sound again, a little louder this time around.

“Y/N?”

It’s Jax. You are faced with two decisions: do you call for Jax to help you or do you take your deserved punishment?

“Y/N?” he knocks louder. “Are you in there?”

You’re sobbing so much, your body’s trembling. B/N kneels beside you, placing two additional hands over the ones already covering your mouth. His additional weight pushes your head further into the hard ground, causing your head to hurt. It’s sure to leave a bruise. With a final knock, Jax gives up and some moments later, you hear his motorcycle ride off. Once he’s certain Jax’s left, B/N removes his hands.

“Why is he here at this hour?”

“I don’t know.” You gasp when he wraps his hand around your neck and applies pressure, making it difficult for you to breathe. “B/N, please…”

“You’ll regret cheating on me,” he murmurs softly before his hand connects with your cheek in a hard slap.

💀💀💀💀💀

PART FOUR

tag list:

@princesssterek @derangedcupcake @furiouscopshepherduniversity @crucifixedbitch @holl2712 @sweet--catrastrophe @marvelsmylife @brittjulianne97

[emmanelson]

Heatwave

She hadn’t realized that to be able to relish in his warmth, she had to endure the frost that followed his departure. An alternate Season 2 in which Devi agrees to tutor Paxton, but he has a whole other arrangement in mind.

The first time it happens, it’s a few days after he starts doing his schoolwork on his own. He comes to her with the idea and at first, she thinks it’s a joke. Him suggesting a friends-with-benefits relationship? Her having sex with the Paxton Hall-Yoshida?

“I’m sorry, what?” Devi had glanced up at Paxton in shock, trying her hardest to stop her mouth from dropping open from his request. She had to blink a few times to make sure she wasn’t dreaming up this scenario.

“You doing my homework for me, that was weak okay? I can admit that. It didn’t actually do me any favors because when it came time to take the exams, I still didn’t know shit. I do my own work from now on, but you are going to be my stress relief.” He could find other ways to punish her, something that benefited the both of them. Actually, he wanted to punish her, so what if had the chance to bring pleasure to her at the same time?

"So what can I do?"

"Think of it as incentive for me doing well in school." He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He wanted Devi, but he didn't trust her anymore. How could he crave her touch when his heart literally ached at the sight of her? This was the only logical solution he could come up with. "Isn’t this what you wanted to begin with? No strings-attached, only sex?”

Yes, initially she did only see him as a sex object and hastily wanted him to take her virginity. But things changed, first for the better and then for the worst. “That was before we were friends. Before we kissed, before...” I cheated on you . It hung in the air as Devi’s heart hammered in her chest.

“I’m not interested in being your friend. Not right now anyway. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”

He would never admit it, but finding out Devi had cheated on him with Ben Gross? That was one of the lowest points in his life.

“Won’t this get complicated?”

“Why would it? You already told the entire school that we slept together.”

Her faces flushes at the memory and she bites down on her lower lip as her cheeks threaten to turn scarlet. It only makes him want to see that look when he’s on top of her, her body withering underneath his, emitting sounds from her by his touch and his touch alone. He has to shake himself out of his own thoughts and remain nonchalant.

“Again, sorry about that.”

“Unless you’re all talk?” He raised an eyebrow, staring at her in amusement.

“Me? All talk. No, you’ve got it all wrong. This was my idea to begin with. You were the one that called it off, I was all ready to go.” She wasn’t sure if she even believed the words coming out of her very mouth, let alone if he did, but she was able to sell it the first time, why should this time be any different?

“So you’re in?”

“We can’t right now, my grandma’s home.”

“That’s part of the fun though. Seeing how quiet you can be with your grandma or mom right downstairs. If we do this correctly, you won’t even need to take off a single piece of clothing.”

Her body clenches at his words, moisture already traveling to her core.

“You could have any girl you want, what do you need me for?”

“You ruined my swimming career, caused everyone at school to give me these looks of pity, cheated on me, and worst of all with Ben Gross?”

Her silence said more than anything else so he continued, fighting back a smirk.

“Not that I give a shit, but even you could do better than that.” And then to her surprise, he leans across the kitchen table and kisses her. It had been a while since they kissed, since her party, and the accident. It hadn’t been too long that she forgot what his lips on hers felt like, but long enough to miss the sensation. Long enough to crave it in the pit of her stomach when she’s laying awake at night scrolling through his Instagram.

When they pulled away, Devi almost wanted to pout at the loss of contact. Yet she tried to stay neutral and instead shook her head. “Shouldn’t this only happen if you actually see an improvement in your grades? How is that going to work if I’m actively giving you the thing that you want?”

“I’d have an easier time forgiving someone if I wasn’t forced to only associate them with turmoil and pain.” Okay, so he was starting to be a little more than dramatic, but as her face fell, Paxton felt a satisfaction in her reaction. It served her right.

So he would actually forgive her in a quicker manner if they had sex? It sounded like a load of bullshit, but Devi chose to see the positive.

“So that whole being your overbearing Indian mother tactic won’t work?”

“Why would I want to fuck my mother Devi?”

“Let’s see how you do on your next test okay?”

“Please, you’re going to be the one begging for me to come back with a higher grade just so you have an excuse to jump me.”

“Maybe I’ll want to jump you even more after you’ve earned it.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” Devi’s stomach fluttered, she honestly hoped that he would.

When Devi lets herself into his garage the following week, PopTart in hand, Paxton actually seemed happy to see her.

“Is that my reward for doing better in school?”

“It could be.” She handed it to him, expecting him to tear into the package as she set down her backpack but instead he put it down and motioned for her to side beside him.

“What if I’m craving something else.” He showed her his newly graded history test with a glint of something she couldn’t quite pinpoint. His eyes couldn’t help but travel to her lips and she gulped.

“You did raise your grade two whole grade letters.” Their eyes met and Devi suddenly felt a flash of heat scorch her entire body. She wanted nothing more than to rid them both of the layers of clothing that stood between them. If he was a fire, she didn’t mind getting burned.

This time, she was the one that closed the gap between them and pressed her lips against his. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer as their tongues slowly met. Her body flush tightly against his as they leaned back into the couch, Paxton pressing himself on top of her.

His hands were lightly gripping her hips, inching near her thighs, lips moving to the side to trail kisses down her neck, her body shivering under his touch. Their legs tangled together as they sank further into the couch, she didn’t know where she began and he ended. He almost wanted to leave marks on her body, just to see the look on Ben’s face when he sees them, knowing that he wasn’t the reason why. But Ben would be the least of their problems if her skin even looked a different hue, this much he knew. Not wanting his attack on her neck to last long enough to give her a hickey, their lips met once more as his tongue invaded her senses. Breaking apart for air, Paxton looked at her so intensely that she thought she would melt.

“Devi...tell  me to stop.” He panted, eyes searching hers for any sign of hesitation or refusal. Instead she peeled off her bomber jacket and dropped it below them, kicking off her shoes in the process.

“I don’t want you to.” She returned his gaze, a sly smile slowly forming on her lips which only made him to want to kiss her until they were bruised and red.

"Are you sure?" He asked, wanting to make sure she wanted to do this and wouldn't come to regret it.

"Unless you rather take care of that little problem yourself and take a cold shower." Internally, she was basically a puddle, ready to swoon that he was being so considerate. Yet she had to remind herself that this was some kind of sick punishment Paxton thought of. He probably just wanted an excuse to get laid.

"You don't need to tell me twice." She smirks against his lips when he kisses her again and soon her doubts are swallowed by his kiss. This arrangement really could benefit them both.

[angstysebfan]

What’s Done is Done - Part 4

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Requested by: @joannie95

--

You eventually were able to get out of Med Bay and back up to your apartment. You were off missions for awhile, and even had to limit training, so you were not at the compound at all for awhile. Honestly you were happy with the break, both from Bucky and saving the world. 

You knew that you were going to have to talk to Bucky eventually, but you didn’t know what to say. Bucky and you had a an overall great relationship. When you first joined the team, Bucky was the one that made you feel most at home. You two became best friends, and you were there during his worst times and his best. Every nightmare, every panic attack, every time he thought he wasn’t enough for you or anyone.

That’s why him breaking your heart was the worst thing to ever happen to you. Usually when he got depressed or pushed you away, you would give him time and he would realize how much he really needed you, and you two would be fine. But not this last time. No. He took it to a whole new level and did what he had to do in order to not only break your heart, but shatter it to the point that you are still unsure if you can fix it.

You start thinking about that conversation you had with him in med bay. You saw the regret in his eyes as he spoke, but is it enough? Why did you still love him after everything he did to you? I mean at the end of the day, you still dream sweet happy dreams about him. You can feel his soft lips on your skin, hear his loving whispers in your ear, feel his arms wrapped around you. You wake up every morning feeling the ache in your heart.

--

One day you were out having lunch with Nat and Wanda and of course they had to bring Bucky up. “Ya know ever since you moved out of the compound, he hasn’t see anyone,” Nat said with her one eyebrow raised. You rolled your eyes refusing to look at her, “I’m not talking about this with you,” you say as you push your food around with your fork.

“And you don’t have to,” Wanda adds looking at Nat. “Yea because you will read my mind right?” you say looking at Wanda. “You know I won’t if you don’t want me to. Though I did see some of Bucky’s thoughts,” she says sadly. You look at her shocked, “Wanda, you know how sensitive he is when it comes to his mind,” you say. 

“I know. It wasn’t planned. He was thinking really loud! He... he is miserable, Y/N. And I know he deserves it after what he put you through, but I hate seeing him like this,” Wanda says sadly. You look at Nat, “Listen, Y/N... You don’t have to get back together with this, or even forgive him, but maybe just talk to him? His... his nightmares are back in full force. I honestly think they are worse now then before,” she says.

“I... I don’t know what to do. I mean I hate him for what he did to me, but I still am madly in love with him. I can’t talk to him and let him just pull be back under,” you say. Wanda grabs your hand, “It’s ok to have these feelings. You take your time. We’re sorry if it seemed like we are pressuring you,” she says. You nod and continue playing with the food on your plate, wondering what you should do.

--

A week later you walk into the compound and head for the gym, knowing that’s where he will be. Sure enough through the windows you see Bucky punching the hell out of the punching bag. As you enter the room you see a row of unused punching bags and pile of broken ones. You know this means he again hasn’t slept. When he breaks the current bag you decide to make yourself known.

“Ya know Tony is going to kill you for breaking all these bags,” you say. You see him tense for a moment before turning and looking at you. You see the shock and then relief in his face. “I... uh.. I bought these,” he said quietly. You nod and give him a small smile.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as he started to unwrap his hands. You shrug, “Thought we should probably talk. But since you spoke when I was in Med Bay, I think it’s my turn to speak,” you say. Bucky nodded in response and sits on the bench. You walk over and try to calm your racing heart.

“Okay, well first, I wanted to see if you were ok. Wanda and Nat said your nightmares are really bad,” you ask concerned. Bucky chuckles, “Nothing I don’t deserve Doll,” he responds. You roll your eyes, “Bucky, you are not a bad guy, you are just really stupid,” you say annoyed.

He looks taken aback from your statement, but you keep going, suddenly feeling confident. “Ya know, I get what you were feeling or how you were feeling when you broke up with me. It’s not the first time you have done this, but then... then you just got cruel. You kicked me out of our apartment, and then started sleeping with who knows how many girls in OUR bed! You made sure that I would see them! I mean do I really mean that little to you!?” you yell.

Bucky starts to develop tears in his eyes and he thinks of how hurt you are by his stupid actions. He opens his mouth to answer, but you interrupt. “I know you feel that you don’t deserve me, and that you think I should be with someone better, who isn’t tainted, but how dare you make a decision for me! It is my decision on who I date. If you didn’t want to be with me because you ran out of love, then you should have told me the truth!” you screamed in his face.

“I do love you!” he yelled back as tears fall down his cheeks. “Well you have a shit way of showing it Barnes!” you growl back at him. “I just wish you would have come and talked to me. You always push me away and I can’t deal with it anymore! This last time was the final straw, especially with your whores around. I... I can’t be with someone who...” you stop and take a breath. “Who pushes me away and tries to make me stop loving them. I love you Bucky Barnes! I love you more than anything! I feel like I haven’t been able to breath right since you left me, but you need some serious help before you are in another relationship. Whether with or without me,” you say.

Bucky is sobbing quietly in front of you. You walk up and pull him into a hug, letting him cry into your neck. “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I do love you. I’m sorry,” Bucky says through his tears. You kiss the side of his head and push him back. You grab his face, “Get some help. Please. You can’t keep going on like this,” you say before giving him a peck on his lips.

You get up and leave Bucky crying in the gym. Your heart felt heavy, but the weight of the bullshit was finally off your shoulders.

--

Oh did you think this was done? No No... Part 5 is the new finale!

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[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

i am thinking abt elita domming the lil praxian trio…

Is this late? yes. Is it done and SUPER horny? yes.

@queenofmeatballs Here it fucking is, my bitch in crime for this bullshit.

“She’s SO pretty when she sleeps!”

“I know, we ALL know! Now quit FUCKING peeking!”

Red grinned as Scar tried to pull him away. Ever since the incident last week, Red was no longer allowed to watch over Lady Elita by himself anymore. So, all three of them were keeping watch over her. Even now, red kept peeking, opening the door a bit more every time. Scar kept pulling him back, but it was like pulling a mutt away from meat. Red groaned, getting a bit tired of how much of a goddamn prude Scar was being.

“You’re just mad because unlike you two, I have a bit of a shot! I’m the cute one!”

“One, you’re stupid. Two, I’m the one with scars, I’M the hot one by default. Three, stop opening the door, she needs to sleep!”

Blue butt in this time, scoffing.

“Excuse me, I’m the one who writes her poetry! I’m the suave, romantic one!”

Scar let go of Red for the sake of glaring properly at Blue.

“First of all, no one likes your poetry. Second, she reads it because she’s NICE to us! Only SAINTS deal with you!”

“Excuse you!”

He scoffed, hand over his chest. Scar was about to tell him off further, when he made a realization.

“Wait. Where’s red?”

They both looked inside the room. He was in there, the cheeky bastard! They both dove into the room, recalling they had to be quiet at the last second. Red grinned at them as he stood by her sleeping frame. He kept his voice to nothing but a whisper.

“God look at the CURVES on this fem! She is SOMETHING!”

“We know! We all know! Now get out!”

“I second with Scar, uncouth as he is.”

But Red was a cheeky, bold bastard. So instead of leaving, he placed his hand right on the blanket, where her hip was. Not only that, but he slowly trailed his hand up her frame, nearly losing his shit. The blankets did NOT show it properly, but her body was FINE. They both gawked at him, before losing their shit, yelling at him as quietly as they could.

“Are you serious?!”

“How DARE you?!”

Red stuck his glossa out at them, getting a bit cocky now.

“Because she’s hot, she’s asleep, and you guys are SO jealous!”

“Okay fine, sure, we’re jealous, just STOP! Lady is going to kill us!”

Red thought about it, before he shrugged. The mischief in his smirk showed that he could NOT see reason.

“Why don’t we see just how well put together our lady is, eh boys? Just a little peek?”

Red watched as they tried in vain to stop him. He pulled off the sheets, and as she rolled onto her back, he reached his hand up her thigh, stopping just short of her crotch plating. Scar dashed over and tore his hand away, glaring at his smirking, cocky face.

“Are you SERIOUS?!”

“Tch, don’t be a prude! I wasn’t even going to do it!”

“Were you?! I can’t tell with you, you’re a stupid PERVERT! Now we’re going to get out of here, and we’re going to forget this ever happened!”

Scar nearly threw his hand away, snarling. Suffice to say, Scar was the most protective of the three, and he would NOT tolerate such behavior towards her. He knelt down to pick up the blanket, covering her again. Just as he was about to wrap it up, a hand wrapped around his wrist.

“What are you three doing?”

Those sharp, blue optics focused onto his own, and Scar never felt like running like this before. He swallowed.

“M-my Lady! I assure you this is all just one big misunderstanding! I’m so sorry, we’ll leave and-”

“Don’t think you two are safe either.”

Red and Blue froze, being caught trying to sneak off and leave Scar in the dust. Bastards. Scar gave an apologetic smile, nerves on FIRE. While he was giddy that she was touching him, he hated the fact that it was in a way that made him look so awful. Unlike Red, he was NOT a pervert. Elita pushed the blanket off of her, and let go of Scar’s hand, choosing instead to fold her arms across her chest.

“Let me take a guess. You guys got...curious. You boys just couldn’t help yourselves, could you?”

“M-my Lady, I ASSURE you, this isn’t what it looks like! I’d do no such thing! It was Red!”

“W-you snitch!”

Elita’s eyes fell right onto him, and she made the motion for him to come to her. While Red was a pervert, he was just as shy as the other two were, honestly and truly. He gulped as he walked over to her, hands fumbling. She held onto his face, squishing his cheeks as if he was a naughty sparkling.

"Answer me honestly. I'm MUCH more forgiving if you're not lying to me."

Red gave an uncomfortable chuckle, and only really started to find his voice when her hand moved from his face, to his throat. She was as big and scary, as much as she was big and beautiful.

"I'm sorry! I was just messing around! And I came in and then I took away the sheets and...You’re just so pretty.”

It was exactly as she thought. These three were such perverts, they came into her room when she was just trying to recharge. That was why she felt so warm. She thought about just throwing them out, scolding them for doing so lewd, but...well. She had been so tense as of late. So pent up with anger and frustration and worry. They were HER boys anyway, she was pretty sure they wouldn’t mind helping her ease her woes.

“I see. I don’t know why you boys haven’t said something sooner. You really shouldn’t be so afraid of me. I don’t bite. Much.”

That was when she pulled him towards her, and pressed his lips against hers. They both sat there, cheeks ablaze as they stared in disbelief. She wasn’t just kissing him, she was KISSING him. Kissing him a way that she SHOULD be kissing Optimus. But she wasn’t. She was kissing RED like that. Fully, with greed, as they could plainly see when she pulled away, drool still connecting their mouths. He looked ready to dive in for more, before she stood up, placing a hand on her hip, and pointing at the berth.

“Three of you. Bent over the berth. Now.”

They moved fast, knowing that tone of hers. They laid down over the berth in a neat little row, like the cutest little duckies. Scar only just now, in the middle of them, seemed to notice just how weird this was.

“Does this seem right to you guys?”

Blue shook his helm.

“Does it matter? Elita gave us a command, and I’m not the one to refuse her.”

Scar opened his mouth to express his concerns again, when her hand dug into his aft, lifting him up a bit.

“Ass up. I want easy access to the three of you.”

Elita walked over to blue, clicking open his valve panel. Scar watched as Blue damn near swooned. Elita was ACTUALLY sitting there, touching not only him, but his panels. She hummed curiously as her fingers traced over his valce folks. He buried his hands in his face, muttering praises for her. She scowled, pulling away after a moment, looking unimpressed.

"Hmm...not you."

Scar peered behind him, watching her walk past him, to red. Red's panel was opened, and Scar sat there, watching him grip onto the sheets and bite his bottom lip. It was fairly short lived however, as she seemed just as displeased.

"Not you either. Hmm...okay, let's try you."

That was when Scar felt her right behind him. Her hands placed themselves on his ass, slowly sliding down his thighs, till he felt his valve exposed to the open air. Then he felt her servos carefully rub against his folds. Slowly, carefully. His breath hitched, his face buried into the sheets, and it took everything to keep his legs from buckling.

"Hmm...how's my hands feel?"

"G-good my lady, very-"

He couldn't talk more than just a mewl as she pushed two fingers into him. Oh it had been SO long since anyone touched him. Let alone someone so pretty, so big and stunning. She pulled her fingers out after a moment, and he thought he could breathe a sigh of relief. Then he felt something pressed up against him. He was no Wheeljack, but he knew damn well what it was. It was her spike. Long, thick. Not enough to be freakishly big, just enough to make his tanks do flips. He felt her size even further as she laid on top of him, one hand cupping his cheek.

"You. Are going to be SO fun. You're gonna treat me good, won't you?"

She kissed him right on his nose, making him just swoon. So big, so lovely. Primus himself made her. He nodded eagerly, not trying to seem TOO excited about the notion of getting fucked by her, but failing majorly. She held onto his face as she started to move her hips into him, and he swore he was melting like butter on a pan. Not only was she pushing herself inside and outside of him, but she was constantly kissing his cheek, constantly cooing over just how good of a boy he was. And what made it even better? The fact that the other two just stared at them. Silent, yet he could tell they were bubbling with jealousy. He wasn’t a cocky mech, but he prided himself in being the one who loved her the most. And now? They got to see it in full force.

“L-lady Elita?”

“Hmm?”

She kissed him again on his cheek, which, combined with the steady rolling of her hips, only made him feel weaker. How he found his voice was nothing short of a miracle.

“Can...uhm...can you go faster, please? Not that I’m trying to rush you, I don’t dream of it, I just...h-holy shit you’re so pretty.”

That seemed to make her laugh a bit. She patted his cheek.

“I can go faster, so much faster. But I just wanted to get a feel for you. A feel for this nice sweet valve that treats me SO sweetly. I can’t remember the last time I had a valve, let alone one that fit so snugly. But you’re right. It’s about time I start taking care of YOU.”

She slapped her hand over his mouth, and started to move. He knew she was big, knew she was a real strong lady, but he did NOT know just how powerful, till right now. Her hips clanged against him, and combined that with his soaked valve, filled the room with loud, lewd sounds. He wanted to cry out, wanted to beg her for more, but she kept her oh so soft hand around his mouth, forcing his cries to become muffled. And she chuckled. She chuckled so dreamily into his audial, and her voice alone could make him overload.

“Such a cute little con I have. Nice little face, nice little valve. You like my spike? Like it right up inside you? Like how you sit there and take me?”

Scar nodded furiously. He loved EVERYTHING about her, but as she was throbbing inside of him, he was finding even more things to love about her. Including her cruelty. Just when he thought he was going to overload, she stopped, slowly pulling herself out of him. She let go of his mouth, allowing him to freely pant like a dog. She sat back, looking at the hungry, happening valve of his. She stood there, biting at her thumb, and clearly liking what she had done.

“I almost wanted to let you finish, really I did. But, being the commander, I go first. So, let’s get this party started. All of you up, spikes out.”

Red and Blue had no issues turning around to face her, popping open their spike panels. It took Red leaning over to smack his ass to get Scar to stand back up, doing the same. Elita looked over at her selection, curious over which one she wanted. Despite them having so much in common, each spike was different. Red’s had a little more gerth, Scar’s had a slight curve to it, and Blue’s had just the cutest little vibration mod. Yep, she knew just which one.

“Blue, be a dear and lay down for me.”

Blue pointed to himself, as if he wasn’t sure of his name, before she chuckled.

“Yes, you. Lay back for me.”

Blue nearly tripped on his way to scramble to the berth, but the excitement on his face was palpable. He leaned back on her bed, fighting the urge to sniff her pillows. Everything was just so big, so soft here, he could die here and be just fine with it. She crawled into the berth, when Blue suddenly held his hands up, as if to stop her.

“Wait, just one moment!”

They all looked at him in confusion, before they nearly saw that bullshit romance dance in his optics.

“Can. Can I kiss you? Before we go any further? Please? I wanna write a haiku about your lips!”

Even SHE had to roll her optics at that. He was lucky he was cute. She crawled over to him, before holding his little face, and kissed him. It was a slow, sweet kiss that made it look like she sucked the spark out of him. When she pulled away, he was a blushing, lipstick smeared mess. She poked at his nose.

“You gonna be able to hold it together for me?”

“I...y-yes Lovely!”

“Good.”

She made sure he was comfy, before she pressed herself against his front. Don’t ask blue how, but he was suddenly under her, spike rubbing against her oh so warm crotch plating. Red scoffed, knocking against Blue’s helm.

“You look like you’re gonna pass out. What, is sweetspark here too heavy for you?”

“Not in the slightest~”

Truth be told, she was SO heavy compared to him. But he didn’t care in the SLIGHTEST, he could be crushed under her weight all day. Elita chuckled, cupping Red’s chin in order to peck at his lips.

“Don’t be jealous. You’re all going to get a turn.”

As she said that, she opened her valve panel. And they STARED. She had the prettiest valve they had EVER seen. Not only was it huge, not only was it wet, but it was so big and puffy, the pink lips looked akin to a heart. She rubbed at herself, showing them smear her fluids against herself. Combine that with that big, wet spike, it was no wonder why they were head over heels for her. She held onto Blue’s spike, rubbing it against her, before slowly pushing him into her. It was a slow steady moment, but he was acting as if she was fucking his processor out, helm tossed back as he squirmed in place. Red scoffed, completely unimpressed.

“Sweetspark, I’m never one to question your leadership, but HIM? He looks like he’s going to overload any second. Let ME do it!”

Scar leaned over to smack his arm.

“YOU’RE pumping your spike to this, idiot.”

“It’s cuz she's hot? Are we looking at the same thing here?”

She held her hand up to silence them, before motioning for Scar to come forward.

“Come on, back on the spike you.”

Scar carefully crawled back into her lap, and sat back down onto her spike. It felt different at this angle, hitting a whole new cluster of nodes. He had to lean against her a bit to keep his composure, and even then, her grin didn’t help. Scar chuckled nervously, trying to keep his breathing under control.

“I...Is this all okay, Lady Elita? I d-don’t want to overstep any boundaries.”

“You worry Scar, really you do. I’m pretty happy, trust me. It’s...been a while, so I kinda need this. If you boys think you can handle just how much I need.”

Blue, who was practically smothered by her weight, raised a hand to get her attention.

“I can say, personally, that I’m fully willing to accept my fate here.”

“Well then. Let’s get moving, boys.”

Blue moved first, surprisingly enough. He had his vibration mod up and going, and that seemed to be enough to make her grip onto the sheets below. Scar did his best to keep up; riding her spike to match his pace with his thrusts. She was so giving, even as she was taking from them. She kept gifting them with plenty of fluids, as well as a great many kisses, leaving their faces covered in pink lipstick smears. She seemed to just now notice Red, who was standing to the side, and touching himself to the scene.

“Oh, I had no idea I was so mean. Come here, Red.”

He was about to ask just how she was going to do anything for him, when her lips met the head of his spike. She chuckled around him, holding his gerth in her hand, stroking him as her lips adorned him in kisses. She moaned around him, clearly feeling satisfied by all the stimulation she was being given. Blue was swooning underneath her, despite the fact that his hips already ached.

“Lovely’s moans are SO pretty~”

“For once, we can agree on something, Blue.”

Red chuckled. Red wasn’t fairing much better, finding himself wiping the drool off of his face. She was enjoying herself FAR more than he thought she would be.

“Lady Elita...how long HAS it been for you?”

She kept pumping the spike in her hand, kept moving with the thrusts. She was enjoying herself, but her face looked so solemn.

“Optimus and I...haven’t been close enough for that in a long time. Mega cycles, and that’s being generous. He focused a lot more on the war, rather than me. Which I understand, but-”

“Hey, Scar, quit making pretty optics here all sad! WE’RE handling it!”

Scar thought about it. He was right. Optimus didn’t deserve the chance to satisfy her. While he was unsure if he himself deserved it, he knew one thing; SHE deserved the chance to be satisfied, totally and completely. Scar nodded, leaning down to kiss at her forehelm.

“I hate to say this, but he’s right. Please, let us take care of you, my Lady.”

While she was used to being the one to lead, this was something that demanded their full attention. As soon as Red shoved his spike into her mouth, they finally pulled their own weight. Blue started to buck his hips into her, burying his vibrating spike as deep into her spike as he could, and Scar riding the hell out of her spike, even leaning down to leave kisses right between her chest plating. Red chuckled as Elita eagerly slurped at his spike, drool running down her perfect pink lips. While his spike was rough against her mouth, his hand was gentle with her as he pushed it back and forth.

“Holy SHIT you’re SO good at this, Sweetspark. You feel good, you look SO pretty. How a mech that dumb couldn’t be taking care of you? He’s stupid.”

“A r-real fool.”

Blue added, nearly shaking as he fought back the urge to overload. Scar, being the sort of leader between the three, saw that Blue was struggling too hard to keep it together, and decided to speed things up, lest his Lady be disappointed in them. His kisses towards her turned into hungry, plentiful nibbles, and he leaned a hand down to rub her cherry node in fast, small circles. THAT got her going, and they all got the pleasure of seeing her shake, of seeing her face erupt in a deep, intense blush. Elita was a strong, sexy woman, who demanded so little. Making her feel good was the least they could do to show her appreciation. Scar nodded, agreeing with Blue.

“A mech who can’t make you feel good? Shame. You WANT to feel good, we can see that, and we want to make you feel SO good. We want to watch you overload, we want to see you be happy.”

He was going to continue, when Red took a firm hold of her helm, and overloaded right into her mouth. Scar was about to scold him for being so rude, when he saw just how much she liked it, slurping up the fluids that steadily dribbled from his spike. She would’ve stayed there, had she not suddenly tossed her helm back, and overloaded. The cry she let out. The way she gripped onto the sheets underneath her. The way her spike pumped fluid into Scar and tightened around Blue. Suffice to say, the other two didn’t stand a chance, and promptly overloaded right after her. They all sat there, full of condensation and overload, before Elita started to laugh, covering her lips as she did so.

“I can’t believe you guys!”

They looked at each other, confused, before she fanned at her face, near to tears.

“You guys really just did all of that...to make me happy. It’s so sweet of the three of you.”

Her optics were...something. To Scar, they were prettier than any star out there. To Scar, her smile was brighter than the sun. To Scar, she was the most incredible fem he had EVER met. He leaned down to press his forehead against hers, as if it was just the both of them, and no one else.

“We would do ANYTHING to make you happy, Lady Elita. We can do this as often as you need it of us.”

“Like...now, maybe?”

Oh the way her servo lightly tapped against his lips. He was about to agree, when Blue held his hand up, rather weakly.

“Can we uh, take a small breather? Everything is very...sore.”

“Fucking weak, move over Blue!”

“W-I just need a break, get off!”

Blue and Red started to bicker and fight as Red crawled into the berth, and watching them fight seemed to make her chuckle. Elita was looking down at them fighting, and Scar was happy she wasn’t looking at him. Seeing eyes of lust was one thing.

But eyes of true, honest love? He knew that was something best kept to himself.

[serifsans]

Vladimir’s bulk is warm and comfortable in a way nothing else is. It’d probably be downright luxurious to curl up on his lap in his true form but if there’s anything Jean-Paul hates, it’s letting their boyfriend (boyfriend, he calls him, as if either of them aren’t anything but too damn old, as if they don’t think of him as their husband, even if they dare not say it lest that change something and ruin everything.) see them when they aren’t wearing human form. It’s embarrassing, like being caught wearing bell-bottoms before they cycle back into fashion. They’ll let Vladimir see them now when they’re skulking around wearing ratty bathrobes so old they’re now antiques but JP draws the line as letting him see that silly pink dog.

(Also, they figure that if the regulators ever decide to mind-wipe him, it’s probably better if he has less memories of an obviously alien form. Maybe it won’t completely fry his brain then. JP’s terrified of that. Of course, JP also knows that if they ever came for him, Vladimir’s taking as many regulators as possible with him before they could even get to his head. They’re terrified of that just as much.)

They see each other so infrequently anyway that there’s no point wasting it looking like anything but a dream: that is, if your idea of a dream is undersized, middle-aged, and dressed entirely in designer brands. Vladimir’s is, which is part of the reason they like him so much. Their volph form is not a dream. It’s silly and little and adorable when it’s not glitching and lagging. JP will take adorable but the silly part, no.

Jean-Paul has his shop and his commissions and a whole part of his life he doesn’t want to drag Vladimir into any more than he already has. Vladimir’s got his work and his family and a whole part of his life he doesn’t want to drag Jean-Paul (or Polly Jean or whatever other name they cycle though) into any more than he already has. They both have businesses that keep them very busy and also side-pieces that also keep them very busy, mostly because neither of them really like to address their emotions and mostly deal with them by throwing themselves at whatever distraction they can find. Always, always, there’s the looming threat that this cannot last, that it’ll end poorly, that they should just end this, but whenever they break up, they can’t stay apart too long until the fear comes for one of them again.

Anyway, the point? Jean-Paul’s living like a fucking king over there because he gets to wallow all over this man. Anyone who doesn’t get to cuddle him is missing out on one of the finer joys of life.

“Paulie, my sweet one, maybe you would like it more if you moved a little, yeah? Just a little. I love you as I love no other, you are my starshine, my heart, but your ass, it’s bony. My legs can only take so much. I am sorry, my love.”

Oh, okay, the man he loves is just cruelly abandoning him like a complete and utter monster. That’s how it is. Being JP is so hard. They make a big show of looking extremely sad as they scoot off his lap and curl up against his side instead, sighing extremely, extremely over-dramatically. Vladimir pets his hair and gives him a little kiss to make up for kicking him off of his lap. JP sighs even more sadly and when that doesn’t elicit the desired response, sighs even louder so Vladimir kisses him again.

Their ass isn’t that bony.

“I guess I might find it within my heart to forgive you for this cruel and utterly cutting insult,” they say. “But only because I am an extremely kind person. The best. I’m completely saintly, darling. That’s the truth of it.”

Vladimir chuckles, a low rumble.

“They will write poems to your kindness and generosity. They will not say that you called what’s-her-name horrible things for hours only because she did not say hello to you while walking down the street. I still think she did not see you. If she knew what you said, she would never talk to you agains even if she did see you.”

JP huffs.

“First of all, it was not for hours. Second of all, I was only being truthful. Third of all, she did it on purpose; don’t argue otherwise. Fourthly, she can snub me all she wants, I really do not give a fuck, the joke’s on her, I made out with her dear old dad in the 70s and he liked it, so hah. I hope no one shows up at her fucking garden party. I hope she gets kicked out of the country club. I hope she buys a pony and it doesn’t love her.”

“Okay, Paulie, you tart,” says Vladimir, laughter still in his voice. “You were very busy in the 70s. You must have never rested.”

“You know it.”

Maybe being kicked off Vladimir’s lap isn’t so bad. It means they can nestle up against him and rest their head on his stomach. He likes to run his fingers through their hair, especially since they decided to start wearing it long in this body. Anyone else doing it makes him feel like anxious lapdog with no control over who does and doesn’t pet him (or pull his tail or mess with his ears or poke him) but Vladimir does it and he feels like a person instead. He closes his eyes and though he never naps, JP really feels so comfortable right now he could doze off. Bears are fantastic. The world needs more of them. Actually, it needs more of them and it needs this one to last forever.

“Mm, completely unrelated to exploits of the past, but I made an account on a website. Thought you should know. Transparency. Communication. That sort of thing. It’s fun.”

God, they’re comfy. This is amazing. Their life really is so blessed. Thank you, universe.

“Paulie,” his boyfriend says with gentle exasperation in his voice. “You join these websites, you find someone that maybe you do not like, you say things that you know to be hurtful, the websites say that you cannot go to them anymore. You can’t keep doing this. There is a reason that I run the boutique’s social media and you, you, my heart, are allowed nowhere near. You are very spiteful and very rude. I know this and I love you.”

JP really can’t argue against this one because they’re running out of websites to be banned from. Even still, they roll their eyes and huff because how dare Vladimir call them out like this.

“Ugh, fine, I’ll behave. I’m really trying to be nicer, you know. It’s all so goddamn weird that I wouldn’t even understand how to insult these people if I tried, anyway. I don’t fucking get memes, darling. It’s all a bunch of bullshit people pretend is funny. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I am sorry you do not understand the Internet. It is a strange place. I will send you Russian memes instead and then maybe you will understand,” Vladimir says. “If you do not like the site, then maybe consider not being on it.”

“I didn’t say that. I just said that it doesn’t make sense. Darling, you know I really do think people should cater to my exact sense of taste at all times but even though they don’t, I still very graciously put up with it,” JP says. “It’s a website for fellow space fans. They’re all bound to be weird."

Vladimir’s hand in his hair stills.

“I do not need to know the details of what you say on your websites, I think maybe I do not even need to know what they are called, but be mindful of what you post. You do not know who could be reading. Do not mention me on it ever, please.  Be careful.”

The ever-present anxiety starts making itself known. It’s not that Vladimir himself makes them anxious because he’s a giant softie underneath the leather and gruff exterior and the fact that he will commit murder in an instant if it means protecting his loved ones. It’s just that sometimes JP very suddenly remembers how much they absolutely have to protect him at all costs and what it will be like to lose him if they can’t devise a way to keep him around forever.

“I’m sorry, Vladimir. I should’ve said something before I made an account. I’ll delete it. I just...you told me I can’t keep running away from others like me. Well, I can’t deal with them in real life. I just can’t. It’s just a website, I didn’t think things through, I don’t want to compromise your safety, I can-”

“Ah, ah, no, I am sorry, I think maybe I said things too harshly, do not worry, my darling. I trust you. Please, maybe it will be a good thing for you and then you will understand their memes. I only want you to be happy and safe. Just be careful, okay? And do not start fights with people.”

JP whines and buries their face against him.

“I really can delete it. I, I don’t always think things through. I wasn’t made for thinking.”

Vladimir decides the best course of action is to pull them back into his lap in hopes it’ll calm the anxious volph, except JP can’t even properly enjoy it because their brain (if they even have a brain because they honestly do not know.) goes from zero to one hundred in half a second and now they’re thinking about everything bad that could possibly happen because they joined a website for aliens.

“Hey, it’s okay, okay? Have fun on your alien dating site. Maybe you will sleep with a Nessie and it will change your life. Do not worry about me. Just be careful with yourself, okay? You do not protect that person enough.”

That’s enough for JP to momentarily break through the anxiety.

“It’s a blogging website, not a hookup website."

“Okay.”

...

“Paulie? Is the Loch Ness Monster real? Do you know her?”

“Darling, you know I never kiss and tell.”

“Is she real?”

“Fuck if I know but I’m certainly not swimming all the way over there to find out.”

[buckthegrump]

Wait, What?

The Himbo Chronicles

Summary: Someone has a date.

Word Count: 1569

Warnings: angst, a little bit of fluff maybe, minor stalking

A/n: here ya go

Bucky knocked on Y/n’s door, she barely got the words ‘come in’ out before he walked in.

“Ok, so for dinner tonight I’m thinking we go to dim sum,” he plopped himself on her bed.

“Uhhh -” her voice came from her bathroom.

“What?”

“I actually have a date tonight.”

Bucky froze and stared at the slightly ajar bathroom door. His brain short-circuited for a moment before it rebooted.

“Wait, what?” He asked, sounding maybe a little too shocked.

She walked out of her bathroom looking like hell on wheels, and he lost the ability to make coherent thoughts. Again. 

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone,” he finally choked out.

“I mean, this is only date two,” she shrugged as she slipped on her shoes.

“Oh,” he couldn’t stop the disappointment from entering his voice, “Well, be safe.”

“I always am,” she said and walked out of her room leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts.

After about thirty seconds of that bullshit, he left the room.

* * *

Y/n had only been sitting across from Tyler for two minutes before she realized that this guy was batshit crazy. There was an energy to him on this date that hadn’t been there the last time they’d gone out.

It’s like he was waving his red flags around for everyone to see, proud of just how fucked up he was.

A few different scenarios ran through her head, if she did what she really wanted to do and make a break for it, he would definitely stalk her. She could excuse herself to the bathroom but he would notice her take her purse, damn women’s clothing and it’s lack of pockets. Or she could just wait until the end of the night, pay for her own meal and then ghost him.

He began talking about how all his exes were crazy and how someday they would get what was coming to them. 

By that time they had been on the date for forty-five minutes and he hadn’t asked her a single question. She hadn’t even been able to get more than five words in. He was being rude to the waitstaff and honestly, she just wanted this all to be over. 

Thankfully their server brought over the check quickly. However, it was a single check and the guy took care of it before she had a chance to offer to split it. Something told her that he was going to bring that up later to try and guilt her for owing him something.

They were standing outside the restaurant, he wasn’t even trying to be subtle about wanting to continue the night.

“Well, thank you for dinner,” she nodded at him ready to make her escape.

“Wait,” he said, and despite her brain yelling at her to just walk away, she stopped and turned back to him, “you don’t want to take this back to my place?”

“Oh, sorry,” she wanted to punch herself for apologizing, “I have an early morning tomorrow and should probably getting home.”

“C’mon,” Tyler stepped towards her, “I promise that we’ll have a lot of fun.”

“I really should go,” she said. This time she didn’t wait for a reply as she walked away.

* * *

Her night seemed to be one giant idiot plot that didn’t seem like it planned on stopping. Why had she decided to try and be a decent person by taking the subway to the date instead of a car?

She knew Tyler was following her. It was one of the skills she’d picked up from being an avenger, being able to tell when she was being followed. Not to mention he was doing a terrible job.

But recognizing the problem and dealing with it were two very different issues. She hadn’t felt the need to mention to anyone at the tower that she wasn’t the best fighter. She spent most of the time on the jet or in a hotel room, when would her fighting ability have come up?

So now her only option was to try and shake him and she could do that very well in the subway. Which is how she ended up walking around the streets of New York taking random turns not really paying attention to where she was going.

With no real idea of how long it should take her to shake a tail, she had been walking for an extra thirty minutes before she finally decided to text Bucky.

She didn’t give him any real context, just a corner to meet her at in fifteen minutes and hoped that he would show up. There wasn’t really a doubt in her mind that he would show up, he always did.

The fifteen-minute walk to the street corner she’d text Bucky was the longest of her life. 

She was about a block away from where she told Bucky to meet her when he came up beside her.

“What’s up?” He asked.

Instead of answering, she quickly glanced behind them before looking straight ahead again. They made it to the end of the block before Bucky asked again.

“The guy I went on a date with, he’s following me,” she said. She hadn’t let go of his hand realized but he hadn’t given any hint that he wanted it back, and it was making her feel safer than she had a few minutes ago.

“So turn around and kick his ass,” he said sneaking a peek behind them.

“He’s bigger than I am and I -” she cut herself off.

Bucky cleared his throat. “You haven’t learned any self-defense?”

Her silence was, clearly, answer enough for him.

“Jesus, do you want me to die from a heart attack?” He asked.

“Says the person who bought not one but two farm animals and also a farm,” she muttered.

“You’re being stalked and you’re making jokes?”

“Humor is how I deal with shit, Barnes.”

He huffed and pulled her into an alley. He had her stand against the wall of one of the buildings and stood next to her. They were hiding behind a dumpster, not a minute later Tyler stepped into the dimly lit backstreet.

“That’s him,” she whispered to Bucky.

“Y/n, who’s your friend?” Tyler called knowing that they were there.

Bucky rolled his eyes and stepped out of the shadows so Tyler could see him. Tyler opened his mouth, probably to say something stupid, but Bucky’s fist collided with his jaw before he got the chance.

Tyler stumbled to the ground, honestly, Y/n was surprised that he hadn’t been knocked out by the blow. Bucky grabbed Tyler by his collar and lifted him half off the ground so their faces were inches apart.

She walked up behind Bucky just to make sure that no one got murdered.

“You’re going to leave her alone, you go that?” Bucky snarled and Tyler nodded his head pathetically. “And if I ever hear that you are harassing anyone else I won’t be as forgiving as I was this time. Do I make myself clear?”

Tyler nodded again. 

Not wanting to stick around, BUcky grabbed Y/n’s hand and led her back to the street. They walked a block or two before he next to one of Tony’s cars. He opened the door for her wordlessly.

“I’m surprised that you didn’t use a helicopter or something,” she muttered as she climbed in the passenger side. Once he was seated he looked over at her.

“I was already in the area,” was all he said before he started driving.

She had about a million questions but he didn’t seem to be in the mood to answer them so she stayed quiet.

He drove through the city, the ambiance of the life that carried on around them was the only thing that kept them from being in complete silence.

It wasn’t until they were on a country road when she spoke again.

“Are you mad at me?” She asked.

Bucky scoffed and shook his head. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“You’re very quiet.”

“Well, not to sound like Edward Cullen but it’s taking a lot of brainpower to not turn around and kill that guy.”

She gave him a look. “You’ve seen twilight? Enough times to quote it?”

“Excuse you?” He gasped. “You say that like you don’t make me watch it with you every time you decide that you’re going to get wine drunk and watch it. I could’ve gone my whole life without watching that fucking movie.”

“Please, you enjoy it!” She yelled with a smile on her face.

“If I enjoyed it that much, I would’ve gone out of my way to watch the other ones,” he rolled his eyes.

“I haven’t made you watch the other ones?” He shook his head and her smile got wider. “Well, I know what we’re doing tonight.”

“If anything, I’m teaching you how to defend yourself.”

“Hmm, no I’m pretty sure we’re watching the other four movies of the twilight saga,” she said in a higher-pitched voice.

“The fuck you mean ‘other four movies’?” 

“Besides, why would I need to learn to defend myself if you’re here to save me?” She asked. She couldn’t tell if she meant it as a joke or not. But she wasn’t about to dwell on that so she moved on. “Where were you tonight?”

Bucky smirked still staring out the windshield. “Just running some errands.”

[unabashegirl]

Enticing (25)

Author’s note: LOTS OF DRAMAAAA. Hope you like it!

SEND YOUR REQUESTS 

masterlist 

all chapters

---

WORD COUNT: 2K

They lay in the pure intimacy of their bedroom after their lovemaking session. He has just asked her to travel with him to a country that she has always dreamt of visiting. She is a bit surprised by his sudden proposal. He has gone on business trips alone before. So, what has changed?

“I don’t even own a passport.” David groans as he raises to his feet. He faces Y/N from the end of the bed before bending down and reaching down for his phone. He begins tapping on his phone, clearly texting someone else.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I’ll fix that for you” David has enough connections to be able to get her a passport before they arrive back in the city. He is still pretty surprised that Y/N hasn’t had the opportunity to see the world. That single fact instantly makes the trip more important to him. He is going to be able to show her the world.

“What about Henry? Is he coming with us? Who is going to take care of him?” She sits up in bed and begins readjusting her top and tying the bottoms that David had undone.

“He is staying in New York. He is still too young. I’ll get a babysitter” Y/N perks up at the mention of the babysitter.

“He already has me, David. It’s my job to take care of him. That’s what you are paying me for” Y/N gets off the bed in search of a mirror to fix her crazy hair.

“That’s something I need to talk to you about” David has given it a lot of thought. Ever since he first asked her to be his. He doesn’t want her to work for him anymore. It all feels wrong. “Although we’ll talk about that when we get home” He dismisses, not sure how that particular conversation is going to go. He feels they should be in the privacy and coziness of the penthouse before he drops the bomb on her. “Henry is not coming babe”.

“But…”

“I just said no” His voice is rougher like the one she hears him use towards his employees. “Period. Henry is staying and that’s final” She bites her own tongue, stopping her own fingers from continuing to go through her hair. She can see him through the bathroom mirror. He is frowning as he finishes tying his swimming trunks.

“Fine” She snaps back as she tries her best not to feel offended by his sharp and demanding tone. “When are we leaving?” She exhales as she turns to face him, leaning against the bathroom counter. David’s frown softens and his demeanor instantly changes. The dark cloud over his head seems to evaporate in seconds.

“A week from today” He hates using that tone on her, but his temper runs short when people defied him. He still feels shitty because he knows that she only meant well. “Come here” David reaches out. She cautiously walks up to him. His hands make their way around her waist before nudging the side of her head with his forehead. He puckers his lips asking for a kiss. She can’t stop a smile from spreading at his soft gesture. She gently gives him a chaste kiss. “Let’s go upstairs. My mom is probably waiting for us”.

The rest of Dobrik’s clan is waiting for them. The food has been served on the big table on the sun deck. All types of meat including lamb and a bunch of sides have been placed on the table. Y/N grips his hand tightly as they approach the table, she can’t help feeling like everyone knows what they were doing.

“There you are! I almost went looking for you” Mrs. Dobrik calls out, “Please sit and enjoy” David pulls Y/N’s seat out for her before sitting beside her. They quietly start serving themselves meanwhile Y/N tries to ignore Mr. Dobrik’s hard stare.

“Is there something you would like to share, father?” His stare certainly doesn’t go unnoticed by his oldest. Mr. Dobrik looks over at David with pursing lips.

“I don’t think it’s a dining table conversation son. It’s best if we leave it for later” David raises an eyebrow at him as he tries to figure out what he is referring to.

“Then I suggest you stop starring at my girlfriend and making her uncomfortable” Y/N’s eyes widen as she turns to look at David, wanting to smack him for his bluntness. If she wasn’t feeling uncomfortable, she certainly is now. The entire table is completely quiet. It is a staring contest between the men of the family aside from Nathaniel, who seems too invested in his food to participate.

“Forgive me, Y/N. I didn’t mean to be rude” Mr. Dobrik tears his eyes away from his son’s that look so much like his mother’s. He is apologizing, but Y/N could see that he didn’t mean a single word.

“There is no need, Mr. Dobrik. It’s no big deal” Y/N fakes smile at him before staring down to her food. Mrs.Dobrik exhales loudly as she tries her best to thinking of something quickly to break the awkward tension.

“Snorkeling or tubbing next, Y/N?” It is Allison who finally interjects as she reaches out for the giant bowl of cold pasta salad.

“Tubbing? On what?” Y/N giggles; thankful to have Allison around.

“On a hot dog or burger. It’s your choice” David’s younger sister knew how uncomfortable her brother and father can make guests feel. Allison is reliving the same situation that she endured when she had brought Nate home. Her father had treated him like shit. It wasn't until Allison put her foot down and David almost threw himself on his father that he stopped his snarling and condescending comments towards Nate. Either way, he still treated him unkindly at times.

Allison knows that it’s worthless to stay mad at her father. He has always been this way. They have all tried to change him, but they haven’t had much success. Allison just doesn’t understand why her mother never says anything and allows their father to walk all over them.

“Hot dog sounds fun” Y/N smiles as she looks back down at her food. The altercation had honestly ruined her appetite.  David seems to have no problem eating. He looks unbothered by it, but in reality, he is fuming from inside. He is beyond pissed. He just can’t wait until everyone leaves and he can have a moment alone with his father. Mr. Dobrik was going to get a piece of his mind whether he likes it or not.

Allison and Nate are the first to excuse themselves after coffee and dessert. Mrs. Dobrik rises to her feet and looks over at Y/N who seems uncomfortable.

“Let’s go honey” She stretches out her hand for take. Just as Y/N pushes her seat away from the table, Mr. Dobrik’s hand smacks against the table. All the plates, silverware, and porcelain shake; startling the women.

“You leave,” Mr. Dobrik says as he looks at his wife. “This has nothing to do with you”.

“Excuse me?” Mrs. Dobrik asks back with her hands on her hips.

“I told you to leave. Don’t make me ask you again because it won’t be nice” He snaps at her, causing her for her demeanor to instantly changed. That tone is too familiar to her and hearing it only brings dark memories. Horrible memories enough to make her feel scared and bite down her tongue. 

“Do not talk to my mother like that” It’s David’s turn to snap at him. He can’t sit back and watch how his father verbally abuses his mother. He might not be hitting her, but he knows that his words have the same effect. His words sometimes hurt her more than his fists.

“She is my wife! I can talk to her however I please!” Mr. Dobrik responds. Not fone bit aced by his son's harsh tone.

“Honey, just listen to your father. I am fine” She feels like a fool for believing her husband's promise. He had promised her that he wouldn’t cause a conflict.

“Go with my mom, babe” David can change the tone of his voice for her as he sees his girlfriend’s concern expression. Y/N quickly stands up to comply with his demand. 

“NO! This is concerns her therefore she should be here” Mr. Dobrik exclaims making both women shake. Y/N stops moving as Mrs.Dobrik continues walking out and gives her a reassuring nod.

“I just told you to leave, Y/N” David’s protecting side arising. He doesn’t want her around just in case it gets uglier.

“It’s okay” Y/N knows that his father won’t back out and whatever he has to say she can take it. She isn’t going to hide behind David. She is a strong, independent woman that could take the ignorant opinions of an abusing man, especially with her boyfriend by her side —at least that what she thinks. David purses his lips and looks back at his father.

“It’s funny how your girlfriend has more balls than you, David” Mr.Dobrik sarcastically chuckles as he looks over at Y/N. “I am surprised, Ms. Y/L/N. I didn’t think you had it in you”.

“You don’t know many things about me, Mr. Dobrik. You would be astounded to know that I am not like other women” She snaps back as tries her best not to feel intimidated.

“That is certainly true. I was surprised to find out that you aren’t who you say you are, Ms. Y/LN. Did you know that, son?” He asks as he looks over at his oldest. “You have no idea who you are sleeping with”.  David chuckles but continues to listen to his preposterous statements. “Is Y/N even your real name?”. 

“It is Mr. Dobrik and I’ve been nothing, but honest with your son. Therefore, I would love to hear an apology coming from you” She kindly smiles at him. 

“She is a fucking nanny, David!” He snaps, Y/N calm demeanor is easily getting under his skin. “She doesn’t work for Alessandro. Is all bullshit. “She is probably some gold digger” He looks at her with disgust. 

That was enough for David.  

“Don’t you fucking dare to talk about her like that” Mr. Dobrik smirks pleased with the reaction has he has just gotten out of him. “I am well aware that she is a nanny, father” David chuckles as he crosses his fingers with one another, entertained by the show that his father has just put on.

“She doesn’t even come from a proper family. How do you think that the media will react when they find out that she is nothing, but your son's nanny?!” He spats. 

“I took her to the gala, father. They already know. We were seen by hundredths and a bunch of pictures where taken of us” David rolls his eyes before rising to his feet. “Instead of making a big altercation of this, you could have just asked me about it and I would’ve told you. I am not hiding her”. David takes Y/N hand, ready to leave. 

“Her father is dead, David.  God only knows who and where her mother is!” Mr.Dobrik says just before they can leave the room. The small comment is enough for Y/N to let David’s hand go and turn back.

“You have no right to talk about my father, Mr.Dobrik. Let alone about my mother or anything that concerns my family. You might have all the money that anyone could dream of, but not everything can be resolved with money. You are an abuser and at least my father never touched or thought about hurting any of us. Instead of continuing to mistreat your family maybe you could thank them for all the abuse that they’ve had to endure. You should also worship the ground that Mrs. Dobrik walks on because she deserves an award for keeping up with your horrific personality and cruel attitude”  His snarly comment about her father had been enough to set her up in flames. No one would ever mess up his memory especially when she was around. She loves her father and all she has left of him is the fun-loving memories of him and she isn’t going to allow anyone to change that.

TAGS: @getmepizzza​, @yourwonderbelle​, @nohalohoseok​, @lavendercuddles​, @2007rh​, @jeezkiddo​, @beeechhh​, @duh-dobrik​, @kllycole​, @meanlopz817​, @snazzydobrik​, @frickin-bats​, @wonderlandlovelove​, @millie-753​, @cubanidiot​, @itsdaviddobrik​, @justlikehufflepuff​, @clarissahunter​, @saltysebastianstan​, @galaxy-moon​, @alyssajunell​, @crowdedimagines​, @pineappledobrik​, @roxyedobrik​, @owenniasstars​, @didyouheartherain​, @marvelgirl2118​, @daviddobrikssflamethrower​, @kennedyf16​, @meleniearaujo9​

[watchmegetobsessed]

Different - Adam Sackler (pt. 4)

one last part is left, so exciting!!!

series summary: Hannah lets you move in with her and Adam as you are her second cousin and in need of a place to live. Your relationship with Adam starts rocky, but things soon seem to be taking a turn.

pairing: Adam Sackler x Reader

word count: 4.2k

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3

masterlist

You sleep for fourteen hours straight, making it already noon when you wake up the next day. You feel like you’ve been hit on the head or like maybe you have a hangover, but it’s neither of those, you just had the most stressful day yesterday and as the thoughts crawl back to you the anxiety shakes through your body again.

You really did just make out with your second cousin’s boyfriend last night, officially winning the title of worst relative on planet Earth. You feel horrible, even disgusted by yourself and the fact that you have to face her now is just sickening. You deserve to be punched in the stomach at least.

As you walk out of your room you are met with a dead silent apartment, everyone is gone. You take a quick trip to the bathroom before heading to the fridge to find something to eat after your hibernation.

Just when you are about to pour cereal into a bowl the front door opens and a shirtless Adam walks in, probably back from his usual run. Both of you freeze for a moment seeing each other, given the circumstances of the last time you two interacted.

“Hey,” he softly says closing the door and stopping a few feet away from you.

“Hi,” you breathe out nervously.

“I feel like we definitely should talk,” he suggests and you just silently nod even though you have no idea what you want to tell him. You haven’t had the time to figure it all out. “Hannah went back to Iowa this morning,” he admits and you frown.

“Already?”

“Yes. Things hasn’t been… the best between us.”

You nod, curious where he is heading with what he wants to say, the new information about them slowly sinking in.

“This whole Iowa thing has taken a toll on us clearly and we both know. We haven’t said it out, but I’m pretty sure the next time we meet we’ll call it quits. This is not working and I don’t want to pretend like it is. I wanted to tell her this morning, but she was kind of in a hurry, saying that she forgot to hand some papers in, so I didn’t want to get into this conversation while she was on the run. But it’s gonna happen when she comes back, I just don’t want to do it on the phone either.”

It’s a lot at first and you just slowly nod as he walks a little closer, leaning against the counter, eyes focused on you.

“Look, I know guilt has been probably eating you up alive, so I definitely thought this is something you needed to know. And now that it’s out… we can talk about… about us.”

You stay silent a little longer, trying to find the words and Adam just patiently waits for you to speak up.

“What do you think about what happened last night?” you shyly ask. Things happened, but you never found out how he saw it all.

“I think it was the best fucking thing that has happened to me in a while,” he chuckles and his reply makes you smile. You were afraid he sees it in a different way, but now you are sure you’re on the same page.

“So you don’t regret it?”

“Not even a bit, no,” he shakes his head confidently. “Do you regret it?”

“A little,” you admit truthfully. “Because of Hannah.”

“I get that,” he nods. “It’s a complicated situation. But… I really want to give it a try. To give us a try.”

Chewing on his words you try to figure out what would be the best to do. After hearing how they are now with Hannah your guilt is still not completely gone, because regardless of all the problems they are having they are still technically a couple and he basically just cheated on her with you.

“I don’t want anything to happen until you are still with her.”

“But—“

“I know,” you cut him off already knowing what he wants to say. “But my conscience just wouldn’t able to live with it if anything happened before you called it quits officially. Even after, it’s a whole different story, because she is family, but at least I won’t feel like a cheating slut.”

Adam clearly doesn’t agree with you, but he respects your will, he understands your reasoning and he definitely doesn’t want you to suffer even more than what you already did.

“Alright. I can live with that,” he nods.

“So… friends until…?” you ask with a shy smile.

“Friends until we break up. Yeah,” he nods returning the smile. “Can I at least hug you?”

“Yeah, sure,” you chuckle and a moment later his long arms wrap around you, pulling you to his naked chest.

A part of your heart is aching that it’s not a grand romantic story, because the two of you started off the worst possible way, and now that these confessions have been finally made it’s still complicated and not what you imagined for yourself.

But you know one thing for sure: you are falling for Adam Sackler harder than you did for anyone in your life before.

Already thinking about the next steps to be taken, you start looking for a new place knowing well living with Hannah will never be an option. You just wouldn’t be able to look into her eyes even if she’ll know about everything and decide to forgive you.

“You could live with me,” Adam suggests one morning when the two of you are having breakfast together and you are checking out yet another apartment online.

“That’s not an option.”

“Why? We’ve been living together for months and it’s working out.”

“Yeah, but it would be different and I’m not ready for that.”

You can tell he doesn’t agree, but he keeps his thoughts to himself, he has been doing this a lot. The amount of patience he has been showing to you is just incredible, honestly. You were afraid this whole slowing down thing wouldn’t work out, but it did all thanks to Adam.

Looking up at him from your computer you see him deep in his thoughts as he drinks up the rest of his milk and you shut the laptop down leaning closer to him, putting a hand to his knee.

“Hey, this is not against you.”

“I know,” he nods.

“Then what’s bothering you?”

“I just… I keep wishing things weren’t this complicated.”

“Well, we can’t change the past, so let’s just… look forward. It’ll be okay,” you say squeezing his knee gently before returning to your breakfast.

Living with someone you know you’ll be romantically involved with very soon is just a situation you never thought you would face or that it even exists. You keep showing affection to each other in a very subtle way, tiny touches, secret looks, hidden smiles, but nothing crosses the line actually, you just both think about it, but don’t do it, making promises to the times when you’ll be actually able to do whatever you want.

One evening when Adam comes home from work you are on the couch, watching some random documentary on the TV.

“Hey,” he breathes out throwing his stuff into his room before joining you on the couch. Taking your feet he lifts them up and after sitting down he pulls them to his lap.

“How was the play today?” you ask with a tired smile.

“Good, almost messed up a line but it was alright.”

“Crazy I’ve never seen you on stage.”

“You want to?”

“Yeah, I’m interested what you’re like when you are not… you.”

Adam lets out a chuckle as his fingers start to gently work on your feet, massaging it like a professional. You hum at the feeling, sliding lower on the couch so your head is on the armrest.

“Is this a hint that you are into roleplaying?”

“What?” you chuckle with a frown.

“You said you want to know what it’s like when I’m not me. That’s what roleplaying is based on.”

“Yeah, but I was talking about acting, not about sex,” you say feeling yourself growing anxious about where this conversation is heading.

Talking about sex is always hard for you. You’ve never been that open about sex like you know Hannah is, the only person you’ve slept with is your ex-boyfriend and even with him, it took months for you to get comfortable enough to have sex. The whole topic just brings you a lot of anxiety you don’t know how to deal with, so most of the time you just try to avoid talking about it, but there are some cases when it’s not an option and you feel like this is slowly turning into one too.

Adam examines you curiously as you keep your eyes focused on the TV, trying to ignore his stare, but you can’t fool him.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” you shake your head, still not looking at him.

“Okay, then why are you so tensed suddenly?”

“I’m not tensed.”

“Y/N, we made a promise to be honest. This situation is fucked up enough already, we don’t need more bullshit in it.”

You bite down on your bottom lip, hating the fact that you can’t hide your feelings and thoughts. And also how he is right, you really did make a promise about that a few days after everything went down and now you are breaking it.

Peeking up at him your gaze meets his soft eyes as he rests his head against the back of the couch, waiting for you to speak up.

“Come on, you can tell me anything.”

“I just… hate talking about this.”

“About what? Sex?”

“Sort of,” you shortly nod.

“Why? Did something happen in the past that made you uncomfortable?”

“No,” you sigh shaking your head. “It’s just… it’s a touchy subject for me, I was never open about it. Intimacy doesn’t come easy for me and…”

You cut yourself off as the words form in your mind, but you realize you are afraid to say them out loud.

“Y/N, talk to me!” he pleads in a low voice and you let out a whiny sigh losing your patience with yourself and the whole situation.

“Adam, I’ve heard things about you before. I know how you and Hannah started off, the kinky stuff you’ve done and I’m just not like that. I’m anxious when it comes to sex because I honestly don’t have too much experience in it given the fact that I’ve only been with one person ever in my life and I definitely don’t feel comfortable with this whole… thing.”

He stares at you silently and you immediately feel judged and this is truly what you were trying to avoid, but here you are.

“I know you said it’s okay if we take things slow, but I’m… I’m afraid I’m too slow for you.”

Wording your fears you’ve been thinking about for a while now is scary, especially because as always, you can’t read his face and it’s driving you crazy. He is silent for longer than you’d like him to be, but then he finally speaks up.

“You know I’m an alcoholic, right?” he asks and for a moment you’re not sure if it’s a trap. He didn’t tell you this, you know this just like a lot of other stuff because Hannah likes to run her mouth. You nod your head shyly. “And did Hannah tell you about the fight we had about this whole kinky shit?”

“No.”

“Alright,” he nods, ready to tell you all about it. “Yes, I used to do weird shit when it came to sex, that’s just how I used to be. As long as I found someone who was willing to do it with me, I didn’t see it as a problem, because that was what kept me back from drinking. But then I started dating Hannah, a lot of shit went down and I changed. Just like everyone, I changed and my preferences changed with me. I didn’t need what I needed before, I didn’t have these elaborate fantasies, because… reality was enough for me. We had a fight about it, because she thought that it was her fault I’m not into those bullshit things anymore and I had to tell her that it’s all because I’ve matured and changed. My life is nothing like it was before, I’m in a way better place now and it sucks that people who knew about my shit back then can still judge me about it.”

You sit there in silence, soaking up every word that leaves his mouth and you feel slightly ashamed that you were so fast to judge him for something you heard months ago.

“I did enjoy doing fucked up shit during sex, but that was a long time ago. I don’t need that shit anymore to distract me, because I’m completely fine with just being with the person who I’m with. And that is you right now. I want to be with you, as me, not like someone else.”

You feel tears forming in your eyes and you wish you weren’t so easy to make cry. Adam grabs your ankle and pulls you closer, so your leg is across his thighs and he puts his hands to your hips leaning close to you.

“I can do slow, if that’s what you want. I’m okay with that. Because I just want to be with you and want to make you feel comfortable around me. I want to make you feel happy and secure.”

“Stop it,” you choke out chuckling lightly.

“Stop telling you the truth?” he smiles at you, giving your hipbones a light squeeze. You sit like that for a while, you sniffling a little as Adam just silently watches you. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I never talk about it,” you admit, but he shakes his head.

“That’s not what I asked. Do you want to talk about it?” he repeats his question and you think for a moment before shrugging your shoulders.

“I guess I’m anxious because I don’t have experience. With Ben, my ex, I was always just… there for him. I mean we were basically kids when we got together, neither of us really knew what we were doing and we fell into a habit and it was mostly about… him. It sounds bad, I know.”

“It doesn’t, we all start off in an unsure way. You just got stuck with the same person and it made it harder for you to experience what you want, but that’s okay. It doesn’t make you less.”

“So you don’t think of me different, knowing that I’m unexperienced?” you shyly ask.

“Of course not,” he smiles tilting his head. “I think it’s going to make it all… special.”

It’s like a rock has been lifted off your shoulders. You were really afraid of this aspect of your forming relationship with Adam, but he took it in the best way possible, just strengthening you in your belief that you are heading in the right direction.

“I really want to kiss you right now, so I’m gonna go and have a shower to clear my head,” he sighs lifting your legs up so he could stand up. Flipping his hair into place he heads to the bathroom when you call out after him.

“Adam, wait.”

He stops and watches you with curious eyes as you walk over to him. Placing your hands to his chest you tiptoe and press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. When your heels get back to the floor you just shyly smile up at him.

“Thank you,” you whisper tilting your head to the side as he returns the smile. He doesn’t reply, just kisses your forehead and disappears in the bathroom.

 You mostly never know when you wake up in the morning that something life-changing is going to happen that day. You start it just the way you always do and then things just happen and at the end of the day you can’t believe you didn’t see it all coming.

It’s a Friday morning, the day you are moving all your stuff into the new apartment you finally found. You’ve told Hannah already that you are moving out, she sounded completely fine with your decision even though she didn’t know the real reason behind your leaving. The place you are moving into is not too far from Hannah’s apartment and close enough to Adam’s place he rented for the time he is going to move out, just the perfect place, a one bedroom apartment just for yourself, to start a new chapter in your life. You try your best not to feel like you are just getting ready for a betrayal, you like to think this is what must be done.

After an early breakfast Adam and you start your rounds with your boxes and bags to your new place, going back and forth for hours. It’s past 1 pm when the last box finally arrives and you are ready to unpack.

“I like how close this is to my place,” he huffs while you are putting your books on the shelves.

“It was kind of a reason why I liked it,” you smile back at him and he gives you an amazed smirk, liking the fact that you had considered him as a factor while looking for your new home.

“I gotta head back home, I’m meeting my agent soon. You’ll be fine on your own?” he asks kissing the top of your head.

“Yeah. Wanna swing by later?”

“Sure, I can bring food,” he offers and you nod. “See you later, Kid,” he smiles at you before walking out.

You get lost in your own little world, unpacking everything and finding the right place for your stuff and hours go by. When it’s dark outside you find your phone that you haven’t checked in long under your pillows and you see that you had a text from Adam about an hour ago.

“Hannah showed up, I’m gonna talk to her.”

Your stomach immediately drops as you read his words. You were not ready for this at all and you haven’t even really talked about what he is going to tell her. Is he gonna tell her about you? Are they still talking? How did Hannah take the breakup?

“Shit,” you mumble anxiously, feeling the urge to go back to the apartment to check in on them.

What if he doesn’t break up with her? What if he doesn’t want to leave her, he was just playing with you?

There are millions of questions crossing your mind as you nervously pace the floor back at forth, trying to figure out what to do. You are just about to get your stuff and leave when you get another text from Adam.

“I told her about us, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to but it slipped! She fucking locked me into the apartment, I think she is going to see you. I’m trying to get out.”

“Oh my fucking… Shit!” you curse again, your hands shaking from fear when suddenly there’s a violent knock on your door.

“Let me the fuck in, Y/N!” Hannah demands, nonstop hitting the door with her hand. For a moment you think about not letting her in, but you can’t do that. You have to face her.

You take a deep breath as you turn the lock and open the door just to find a raging, red-eyed Hannah standing there.

“You could you,” she hisses pushing her way inside. “How could you do this to me?”

Closing the door you slowly turn around in a complete loss of words, giving the perfect chance for Hannah to lash out on you.

“I fucking trusted you! And what do you do? Steal my boyfriend when I’m away? Y/N, this is so fucked up! How long has the two of you been sneaking behind my back?”

“We-we didn’t. It was just one kiss a-and nothing else happened, I swear!”

“And I’m supposed to believe that? How fucking believable is it that you two didn’t do anything while I was away after that kiss happened?”

“I didn’t want anything to happen until he hasn’t sorted things out with you!”

“How fucking generous! Am I supposed to say thank you?” she scoffs throwing her hands into the air. “This is literally the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, Y/N, and the fact that it came from a family member, is just blowing my mind.”

“Hannah, he said you were already having problems, not connected to me,” you whisper, trying to fight your tears back, but your vision is turning blurry already.

“But that doesn’t mean you can just scoop in and be the shoulder he cries on and then fuck him!” she screams and you jump a little at her voice. “But you know what? You two deserve each other!” she spats. “I hope the poisonous thought of how you two played me will keep you together forever! And I hope you are proud of yourself for ruining my life!”

Finishing up she marches past you and just walks out, shutting the door behind her as you just stand there, tears running down your face, completely and utterly disgusted by yourself. Because every word she said was true. You really did just played her and for what? Because you couldn’t behave like an adult and control yourself around Adam?

You deserved every bit of it and it has opened your eyes.

You have no idea how much time goes by when you hear another knock on the door and you jump at the sudden noise of it.

“Y/N? Are you okay? Did she come here?” Adam speaks up on the other side and your body just can’t move. You stare at the door like it’s him, the tears still soaking your cheeks, but you are just unable to move. “Y/N please let me in!” he begs, but you can’t do that. You can’t face him.

“Adam, go away,” you call out in a shaky voice.

“What did Hannah tell you? She was just mad about the whole thing, I’m sure she didn’t mean half the stuff she told you! Please just let me in so we can talk without this fucking door between us!”

“Go away!” you repeat and as the words leave your mouth you choke out.

“Fuck!” he slams his hand on the door. “I’m gonna break this fucking door if you don’t let me in, I already broke one door today, don’t fucking test me!”

Rushing over to the door you lean against it, like you could stop him from breaking it when in reality you know he would easily sweep you off your feet if he decided to break the door.

“Adam, please go away. This is not working,” you beg him and hearing your words coming from closer he forgets about breaking in, he just leans against the door wishing it wasn’t there.

“I thought we had a deal. I know it didn’t turn out how we wanted, but I still want to be with you. Do you not want to be with me?”

“Don’t make it harder than how it already is. Just admit, it would have never worked.”

“How do you know if we never tried?”

“Not under these circumstances. Hannah was right, we played her and it’s the most disgusting thing ever.”

“Fucking Hannah and her manipulation! She was just angry at the situation, I’m sure she wanted to be the one to break up with me, so now she is playing the drama queen like always to make herself the biggest fucking victim! Don’t fall for her stupid shit!”

“Go away, Adam,” you repeat as you already made your mind up. This is not going to happen, it would have never worked and now you just want to live with the guilt that’s slowly eating you up alive, because that’s exactly what you deserve.

“Y/N, just open the fucking door, let me see you!”

“But I don’t want to see you. Goodbye, Adam,” you say before pushing yourself away from the door and going to the farthest corner of the apartment to get as far away from him as possible.

He doesn’t leave for another hour or so, talking to you through the door, but you never answer. You’re afraid he will for real break your door, but he stays outside. At one point you realize he hasn’t spoken in a long time, so you tiptoe to the peephole and you see no one outside.

Softly opening the door you peek outside to make sure he is gone and you just find the empty hallway, no sign of Adam. He is gone.

He really is gone, and even though you wanted him to be gone, it still breaks your heart. It’s like for the first time in your life, you are completely alone and this void is pulling you in, no matter what you try to tell yourself.

Adam has become a huge part of your life and you realize that you shouldn’t have depended on him so bad, because your relationship was doomed from the first moment and you should have known that. You should have been smarter than that. But now you are left on your own, living with the consequences of your poor life choices.

-

general/forever taglist for Adam Driver

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Adam taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Adam fics!

@superdriver​ @siren-queen03​ @holacherrycola90​ @spencer-is-amazing​ @unusual-kindred-spirits​ @hailthemightywoecloud @holy-kylo-stars​ @kowalskibro-adamdriverblog​ @hurricanesunset​ @writerandee​ @luxury-0pps​ @prncess91​ @malefoygal​ @zaahidahhh​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

[sneakyneighboururchin]

Genuinely asking here bc maybe I've missed/forgotten some stuff but... when homo- and transphobic stuff is said in DA, it's addressed in game as being bad, isn't it? Like Dorian's first personal quest is about his dad acknowleding his homophobia and apologizing to Dorian. And with Krem, Krem and Bull both correct the Inquisitor pretty sternly if you misgender him, and Bull explains how gender identity is respected under the Qun. Not trying to fight you on this, nor do I think DA is by any means perfect, I just don't recall seeing homophobia or transphobia that isn't quickly shut down by the player or other characters. Don't feel pressured to answer tho, I know it's not your job to pull receipts for every shitty thing in a video game lol

Well first off thanks for being so polite and nice in this message, I appreciate it. I'm gonna try and cover the stuff that I've seen myself and have had pointed out to me by other people but keep in mind that I'm not trans, most of what I'll say here on the transphobia issue is me parroting other trans fans who've said this sort of thing before. I am gay though, so I guess we're clear on that front. It's also been a while since i played any of the games so if i get stuff wrong, I'm sorry. This is gonna be long so sorry for that in advance.

So homophobia and transphobia in our world. Why is it a thing? A combination of humanity hating and fearing what it doesn't understand (which Dragon Age also has) and religion, specifically in my experience Christianity (which Dragon Age does not have). Yes the Chantry and Andrastianism is heavily based off of Christianity and Catholicism but it doesn't have any of the bullshit about sexuality and gender that Christianity does. Neither in it's holy texts or it's teachings. The in universe writing about sexuality, a codex by Brother Genitivi, is also kinda homophobic and doesn't explain why this is a thing in Thedas at all. Queer relations and relationships are aparently viewed by most of Southern Thedas as 'peculiar' but no explanation is given as to why. Now I'm gonna go into specific instances. 

First off, let's look at some of the stuff you've mentioned. Dorian and his dad. Yeah that whole situation hit me pretty close to home as a queer person who's pretty much accepted at this point that my dad will never accept who I am and my mother died still not having accepted me. What Halward did is definitely portrayed as a bad thing, that is correct. The narrative kind of subtly pushing the reconciliation being the good option is a bit iffy. What Halward tried to do to Dorian is straight up abuse and I really don't like plotlines that push making nice with the abuser and forgiving them as a good resolution. This is kind of more personal feelings than straight from the script fact but I wanted to say it anyway. 

Second issue: Krem's treatment. So many trans people have talked about this before me, if you want some more in depth analysis of this you should go check out some of their stuff, it won't be hard to find. The basics though: Krem is voiced by a cis woman. This immediately sets a shitty precedent on the side of the devs lending proof to the theory that they don't care about uplifting trans people, just making money off them. Krem should have been voiced by a trans actor. In the actual conversation with Iron Bull you get the opportunity to be extremely transphobic. And if you do this you get told off, and that's kind of it. The fact that your character even has the option to do that is a) gross from an out of character writing perspective, and b) makes no sense in character. Why would your character have these views? There is no in lore reason for any of the potential groups your character comes from to be transphobic. Also, and this is just my opinion, but if you're transphobic to Krem (even though it makes no sense in universe) the Iron Bull's reaction shouldn't be a bit of disapproval, he should send you through the fucking wall. Seems more in character. Also, gender roles under the Qun also have a lot of potential to be transphobic, they are by no means an improvement on ours imo. Under the Qun your gender is essentially decided by your role. So if you're a fighter you're male. If you care for children you're female. Not only is that pretty hella sexist and reliant on our dumb ideas of gender roles (that again aren't supposed to be a thing in Thedas) it also has potential to be hell for trans people. Yes it would work for someone like Krem, but for someone who was AMAB and good at fighting but they were a woman? Being shoved into male gender roles and treated as a man would not be good. If the writer's intent was to create a society with an entirely different concept of and approach to gender they've done it wrong because of how much of it is reliant on the audience's perception of gender which (going by general gaming demographics) is pretty cis and het normative. 

Now I'm gonna talk about the transphobia that doesn't get challenged. Sera makes a couple transphobic comments throughout the game I believe, the one I can remember in detail is in the Winter Palace when she says someone presenting a certain way isn't actually that. And without any further context the only way the audience can really interpret that is that the writers decided to take a cheap shot at someone cross dressing in a bad attempt at comedy. 

Sera's writing in general is super homophobic because she was written by a homophobe. I'm not gonna go into all of that in this cos this is already too long and I could write essays about it. Other people already have! But basically, she's the only out and out lesbian romance we have in the series, and her writing in that respect is really not good. 

So how about the other games? Well. In origins you can hire sex workers at a brothel. The 'special' on offer is a very masc presenting dwarf in a poorly fitting dress. This was a very transphobic attempt at humour. Zevran, much as I love him dearly, is a walking bisexual stereotype, made worse by feeding into the 'sexy Latine' stereotype on top of that, which isn't an in universe problem so much as it is proof that the writers are guilty of prejudices whether they know it or not. I suspect there's more instances in origins but I can't remember right now. 

In Dragon Age 2 Seneschal Bran has a relationship of some kind with a sex worker named Serendipity, a feminine presenting elf with a very deep voice. This is played as something that Bran should be ashamed of. At least I think so, it could be that he's ashamed of having a relationship with a sex worker. Not that far fetched considering Aveline's weaponisation of the word 'whore' against Isabela. But this is also something that doesn't make sense honestly. Why is sex work taboo in thedas? Christianity isn't around to make it so and Andrastianism doesn't have purity culture going except for their clergy ( which also is never explained why and makes no sense.) Additionally, Uncle Gamlen is super homophobic. Why? There is no reason culturally or religiously for him to be that way? Yes he's an asshole but why is he an asshole in that manner? And you don't even get to challenge him on it! It's passive dialogue that you trigger when walking into his house and you don't immediately get the option to fucking fight him about it? Why put it in then?! 

A good amount of this is off topic from the actual question so sorry about that but TLDR there's a lot of in universe homophobia and transphobia, most of it is not handled well in or out of universe. I do believe that they're trying to do better in this respect, inquisition was a step up from previous games it just wasn't enough of one. 

If you want more stuff like this go check out @dalishious cos they have a ton of very good meta on subjects related to this.

[princess-of-riviaa]

Little Lady: Chapter 3

Prologue/Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Pairing: Clark Kent x OFC (Vix/Melanie)

Series Summary:

Chapter Summary: Melanie wakes up, hurt and confused, and receives answers that are hard to swallow.

Author’s Note: My sincerest gratitude to @yespolkadotkitty for being my beta on this series! Love you!

Warning(s): none

Word Count: 1,734

I’m surrounded by an endless, unforgiving cold. I don’t know if I’m dead or somewhere between life and death. All I know is I don’t like this darkness, this emptiness, this coldness. A distant whisper of a voice draws me out of the darkness, coaxing me towards the light. It hurts. Everything hurts. I stop for a second. The darkness pulls me back in, pushing out the pain as well as the light. The voice calls to me again. I turn towards it--only to feel that same flash of pain. I hear my name. My real name. This voice knows me somehow, and I need to know who it belongs to. So I swim through the darkness, ignore the pain as best I can, and move towards the light--towards that voice.

***

The first thing I see when I blink my eyes open are brown eyes staring down at me. They’re eclipsed by a beautiful sea of warm olive-toned skin. It’s a woman. It’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I know her--that fact is planted deep inside of me--but I can’t remember her name. I reach out to her--

Only to find that I can’t move. My entire body is stuck, frozen, immobilized. I begin to panic.

“It’s okay,” she assures me, her foreign accent thick and soft as butter. “Just breathe, Natalie. You’re okay.”

Her words manage to calm me to the point of breathing steadily again. But I still have so many questions: Who is she? How do I know her? Where am I? Why can’t I move?

“You’re in a state of temporary paralysis,” she explains. “It should wear off in an hour.”

My eyes widen. “Temporary… paralysis?!”

She opens her mouth to say something, then pauses. Finally she asks, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

I blink, fishing for my most recent memory. Heat. That’s what I remember. My most recent client--what was his name? Collin? No--Clark. Clark Kent--lit a fire in me, just under the surface of my skin, and I lost the ability to breathe as he kissed me. I’ve never felt like that just from kissing a guy before. It’s never been that intense.

“Clark?” the woman guesses, seeing the blush on my cheeks.

Oh god--had I talked about him while I’d been out? How else would she know who was making me blush like this?

I nod.

“Do you remember what he did to you?” she asks hesitantly.

The memory hits me like a train--grinding against his raging hard-on, desperate to chase my own high, and his mouth latching onto a sensitive spot on my neck. His teeth latching onto a sensitive spot on my neck. I try to raise a hand to my neck, where I know there will be a deep scar, but again--I can’t move.

“Yes.” I swallow, the memory making fear rise in my chest until I want to vomit.

“She’s afraid of you,” the woman says, and after I frown in confusion I realize she said it to someone behind me.

I struggle to see them out of my peripheral vision, but barely make out the familiar shape of a huge man in a nice suit. Clark. He’s here. Is he going to hurt me again?

The woman must notice the fear in my eyes because she grabs my hands and gives them a reassuring squeeze. I can feel her touch but I can’t respond to it. “It’s okay, I won’t let anything happen to you,” she assures me.

I give her a grateful smile before looking back at Clark. He’s as stunning as ever, though he looks a lot more relaxed now than he did in Lilith’s.

“I don’t want you to be afraid of me,” he tells me.

I frown at him. “You bit me, you freak! Of course I’m afraid of you!”

“I can explain,” he says, holding out his hands like he’s trying to tame a wild animal. Funny, considering this wild animal is currently paralyzed.

“I can’t wait to hear this.” I roll my eyes.

“I’m a vampire,” he begins.

I glare at him. “If you think you’re being funny--”

“I don’t.” His tone is too calm for someone who’s pulling a prank. “I’m telling you the truth.”

“Vampires don’t exist,” I argue. “I’m not an idiot.”

“That’s what you said the last time,” the woman says.

“One thing at a time, Diana,” Clark barks at her before returning his attention to me. “Vampires are real. Every magical creature you’ve ever read about is real. I could prove it to you, but it would be a lot less of a hassle if you just took my word for it.”

“Say vampires are real,” I say. “Say you’re one of them. Where’s the pale skin? The red eyes? The weird accent?”

Clark raises an eyebrow and smirks, amused. “You’re thinking of Dracula. He was one of the first; our kind has evolved since then. We’ve adapted and grown smarter. We now have the ability to walk in the daylight, hence the lack of pale skin. And our eyes are only red right after we’ve eaten. The color returns to normal after a few hours. Dracula had an accent because he was European; I’m from Kansas.”

“Okay fine,” I huff. “Say I’m crazy enough to believe you. Why did you come after me? What did I do to you?”

Clark exchanges a look with Diana.

“I’ll just be in the other room for a minute,” Diana says casually as she stands from the couch I’m lying on. “Shout if you need me to break his neck.”

Clark waits until she’s gone from the room to answer my questions. “What I’m about to tell is going to be hard to swallow.”

“Harder than you being a vampire?” I laugh.

He nods.

My laughter dies quickly.

“We’ve met before,” he begins. “We’ve known each other for five years.”

That’s impossible. I didn’t know this man before last night.

“But that was back in 1946,” he adds.

I’m too dumbfounded to laugh at that ridiculous statement.

“You’re a time traveler, Nat. We met in 1901. We dated for a few months before we had a big fight. You disappeared in time before I could make it right. I thought you were gone forever--but then, two decades later, I found you on the streets of New Orleans, dancing in a speakeasy. No matter how well you managed to change with the times, your dancing was always the one constant. I somehow convinced you to forgive me. We married in ‘28. But then you disappeared again on a mission to kill Hitler; it didn’t go as planned. I managed to find you again in 1945, just after the war ended. And then, at the end of that year, we found out that we’re… god, even after all this time it’s still hard for me to say it. I honestly can’t believe it still.”

“We found out that we’re what?” I press.

“That we’re soulmates,” he finally says.

I resist the urge to laugh at him. “You say that like it’s a real thing.”

His eyes flash, angry that something so important to him is being challenged. “It is. In our world--in our crazy, magical world--soulmates are an actual thing. It’s not like with humans, how they say someone they care a lot about is they’re soulmate. Magical creatures experience a bond with each other that no human ever will. It’s undeniable--once it clicks into place, there’s no going back from it. The universe chooses your soulmate for you and not even the strongest man can resist that kind of magic.”

I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around a single thing he’s said in the last two minutes. “You realize that, even if all of this is true, I’d be insane and incredibly naive to believe it right away.”

He nods solemnly, as if this is a fact that he hates but can’t ignore. “I know. But I want to give you the truth. You deserve at least that much.”

I frown, suddenly remembering something. “I’m still confused as to why you bit me.”

“It’s part of the soulmate ceremony,” he explains.

I stare at him blankly.

“In order for the bond to be complete, both people have to drink a drop of the other’s blood. I tried drinking your blood in ‘46, but I went too far. I couldn’t… I’d been denying myself the taste of your blood for so long that when I finally felt it on my tongue, I lost control. You almost died--I-I almost killed you. But you managed to escape to a different time--time travelling has some sort of weird healing effect on the traveler--and you regained your strength.”

“And last night was the first time you saw me again,” I guess, “and so you tried to complete the bond again.”

Clark nods, his eyes shining as I finally begin to understand.

“Is it? Completed, I mean.” I realize with a start that I’m starting to sound like I actually believe all the bullshit he’s feeding me. But I’m curious enough to play along. It’s curiosity, I assure myself, not belief.

“We won’t know until the effects of my bite wear off,” he says.

Diana said an hour. That was… what, fifteen minutes ago? Time will tell whether Clark is telling the truth or if he should be put in a mental institution.

“How did you know to go to Lilith’s?” I wonder.

He smiles to himself, as if appreciating a joke. “I saw a poster for you--for Vixen, I mean. I knew that name was yours. I had no doubt about it. That’s what I used to call you when we… when we were intimate.”

Well, he definitely talks like someone from the first half of the twentieth century.

“You know this all sounds insane, right?” I ask him.

He shrugs. “Maybe to you. I’ve had several centuries to wrap my mind around it.”

“What happens when I can move again and I realize you’re feeding me a bunch of bullshit to excuse your blood kink?” I ask.

He moves to the couch and takes a seat on the other end, careful not to touch me like he can sense how uncomfortable I am. “When you can move again, and you realize I’m not feeding you bullshit, we can talk.”

And until then, we wait.

***

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[iwantutobehapppier]

Just Ask

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader

Story continues here: You Belong, Mine, A Habit and Convalescence 

Summary: You’re a mutant/enhanced human in a relationship with Steve Rogers that only the Avengers are aware of. This takes place at the end of Civil War and moves into the time in between Civil War and Infinity War. 

Warnings: Violence, dubious-consent, Dark!Steve, choking, forced orgasm, forced pregnancy, unprotected sex. 18 an older only, do not read if under the age of 18. This isn’t for everyone, if any of these situations bother you please read no further.

Word Count: 5,537

A/N: This is my first time in this world of Dark!Steve also first time I have posted any of my writing to Tumblr. I have a few sequels in mind and already in works for this. Thanks for reading!

“Steve’s not gonna stop,” was the voicemail Nat left, following the fight at the airport. You knew what that meant. You were never going to sign the accords or fight in this no matter how much both sides asked but you weren’t going to stand idly by while they killed each other either.

You had followed Stark to the location, hanging back but even farther back when you saw some guy dressed like a giant cat.

When you finally intervened Bucky was on the ground visibly unconscious and his Vibranium arm across the room.  Your eyes quickly diverted to Steve and Stark battling it out. Stark was on the ground with the Iron Man helmet smashed off his head you knew it was time to step in.

Just as Steve moved to slam the shield against the Arc Reactor you brought your hands on the sides of the shield standing above Stark’s head. It took all your superhuman strength to keep him there, a mere inch from the chest piece but your strength would not hold up to Steve’s.

“You can’t fight him Steve, please” you voice barely above a whisper. Steve’s eyes widened and you could feel his pressure against the shield falter a fraction. It was enough for you to shove the shield down on the ground.

“Even the golden boy’s girl knows what side to be on. Nice to see you finally picking a side and step out of the side lines,” you grimaced. You wanted to explain that was not what was going on at all but this was not the time.

“You don’t understand, he’s going to kill Bucky.” Steve looking at you desperately as you both remained above Stark.

“No it’s you who doesn’t understand Cap, he killed my mom. He won’t walk out of here.” Stark responded quickly. There was so much pain and malice.

You shut your eyes tightly, just then you heard Bucky groan out in pain.

The sound plasma hand cannon readying was the only warning you heard and before you could intervene Steve had the shield back in his hands deep in Stark’s chest piece. The hum of the suit dying was chilling enough to bring tears to the corner of your eyes.

Steve breathed heavily and looked up at you as you loomed over them both. His eyes pleading you to understand or forgive him, you weren’t sure which. You did understand, it was Bucky how many nights did he stay up telling you stories about the two of them.

It didn’t matter how many times they brainwashed him, he was still Bucky. You couldn’t abandon Stark just like you couldn’t betray your love to Steve.

“Don’t make me choose,” you took in a ragged breath trying hard not to break down. He closed his eyes for a moment then stood up, pulling the shield out of the Iron Man suit as he did.

He moved over to Bucky, helping lift him up to his feet and began to walk away.

“That shield doesn’t belong to you.” Stark called out as he tried to get up right.

“Tony,” you scolded him. That was Steve’s more than it was anyone’s but he ignored you and continued.

“You don’t deserve it, my father made that shield.” Steve looked at you and then down at the shield. Without a response Steve dropped the shield and continued to walk off with Bucky leaning on him.

It hurt seeing the bruises forming on the sides of his face. You were forever grateful to Stark but could you really just let Steve leave without talking? Turning to Stark you helped him get to his feet within the dying suit.

“Who do I need to call?” you asked, making it clear you weren’t going to help him get back home.

“If you go with them you’ll be a wanted woman.” He warned.

“I already am, remember I didn’t sign.” He grunted. “Oh yeah, you and your ‘I won’t sign and I won’t fight’ bullshit. See what happens? Capsicle can’t think right without you.”

“Tony, who do I call, Rhodes?” He looked away and tried to stand on his own but the weight of the suit was off balance from all the damage and he faltered. You quickly helped him stay upright and then guided to a wall he could lean against.

“Does anyone know you are here?” He bitterly chuckled and that was enough to tell you clearly no. What a mess this had turned into.

Shaking your head in disbelief and pain at how it had all turned out you pulled your phone out and speed dialed.

“Nat? Yeah… No things did not go well at all… they’re all 3 alive,” You looked at Tony and frowned at his bleeding face. “…not without damage though.”

“Follow the gps on the phone, come get Tony and keep it discrete.” Nat disconnected after your instructions and you handed to phone off to Tony. He looked down at your hand then back up, dazed.

“I’m not staying here, and I’m not keeping that on me. You know you mean so much to me and saving me from…you know.” A deep sigh escaped your lips and he glared at you. You sat the phone down on the ground.

“You are going to go after him?“ He called out your name when you turned your back to him, "After what you just saw him do to me, to us, and protect that Hydra Murderer! He killed my parents! My Mom!” Stark’s voice rose with each word as you ran off.

By the time you caught up they were already at the Quinjet and the cat guy was talking to them both outside the jet.

Bucky was the first to notice you, the other two looking your way to see what he was looking at. Steve sucked in his breath through his teeth with wide eyes. He did not expect to see you again, honestly that stung.

The man in the Cat suit had I his mask off, it was T’Challa. You cocked your head to the side, this situation was all sorts of fucked up. Maybe one day you’d get all the details but now you had to talk to Steve.

Bucky lifted his arm out from around Steve’s shoulder and T’Challa helped him get inside the jet as Steve walked towards you pulling off his helmet. You speed walked towards him, slamming your body into him not caring about the painful grunt he made, he was a super solider he could take it.

His arms wrapped tightly around you, almost bone crushing as you wrapped his arm around his neck and pulled him down to kiss you. It was rough and full of the need you two always felt for each other. It was a few minutes before you both pulled away from such a tight embrace.

“I won’t ask you to come with me,” he spoke softly against your lips. You almost wish he would but you knew he would never ask more of you than you could give. He kissed you again but it was softer this time. You pulled away.

“Is that how you kissed that Sharon girl?” his cheeks flushed and muttered “Sam,” under his breath. You smirked.

“I intended to tell you before Sam… It was to get the suits, she was doing a favor and there was a sense of duty to-”

“To kiss a girl who you had been leading on? Oh okay.” you teased him as he fumbled to explain. You weren’t the jealous one out of the two of you.

“Stop playing with me. I have to get Buck somewhere safe.” He stressed and you nodded in agreement.

“You have Bucky, get him the help he needs.” You kissed him again but he frowned.

“I want you too.” he pulled you away from his embrace, his hands resting on your shoulders looking you in the eyes. His swirling blue eyes held so much pain, desire, guilt, anger…there was too much as always.

“Then ask Rogers. You just gotta ask.” The hum and heat of the Quinjet starting up pulled you out of each other’s gaze. “Times up,” you smiled at him as you removed his arms from your shoulders.

“I’ll find you,” the confidence and unsaid meaning in those words sent a chill down your spine.

“I’m counting on it old man.” You watched him walk into the Quinjet, turning around to look at you his mouth opening as if he would ask. You knew better, he was always too late. You started walking away to make your own escape from the chaos that had ensued.

8 months later

You stood in front of what had to be at least 1980’s A/C window unit. You hated the heat. You let out a groan as noise rose from outside the bustling city street of Agadir, Morocco.

The motel wasn’t the worst you had been in so far while on the run. Mercenary work was giving you extra cash to move up from D Grade motels to C Grade. It was certainly easier than your earlier years.

Shaking you heard trying to cool down you knew you just needed to get out of the room, maybe the beach?

Your eyes narrowed while looking at the people on the street then nodded your head agreeing with that idea.

You looked around pretty sure you found the least crowded part of the beach. Walking towards the shore a gentle breeze blew your hair and long thin robe you wore over your bikini. You used to care about showing this much skin, the scars and all imperfections would have made you self-conscious but that was before Steve. Before he instilled in you the confidence and encouraged your self-discovery.

Setting your bag down as you neared the shore you sighed; you missed Steve, desperately at night. Giving him space with Bucky was more important to you than having Steve between your legs every night.  

You were pretty sure he was in Wakanda but getting there was proving a task given it was only you. Stark spoiled you with all his means and connections over the years. You looked out, the light blue of the ocean reminded you of his eyes, those eyes that would burn with desire and need for only you.  

Cool ocean water brushes back and forth on your feet took you out of your thoughts. That’s what you needed, this was better than that ancient A/C. You began to walk further in pulling the bottom of the robe up however yelling started behind you.

There was panic and pointing to a young gentleman running with a floral bag in his hand, as he came across your bag he grabbed it. “SHIT!” you were too trusting or as Steve would say “Head in the clouds”. Without thinking you launched after the guy not caring about your lack of shoes or clothing.

The man looked behind him and his eyes widened, you were gaining on him and fast. He ran into the street dodging cars, you followed ignoring the gravel and fiber glass your bare feet picked up along the way. When he saw you were still following he quickly turned down a side road leaving the main road facing the beach.

You kept at him and your feet kept picking up more but you pushed through, you needed your bag! You smiled when he ran down a small alley way, fool.

When you turned down you saw him get closed lined by a large arm falling to the ground and slamming his head against the pavement. You looked at the man who had helped you, he had a ball cap on with sun glasses and a short full face beard.

“Thank you,” you said slightly winded as you walked up to get your bag, starting to really feel the pain in your feet now that you’ve stopped running.

“Your feet,” the man muttered pointing behind you to the bloodied foot prints you left. The voice it was so familiar…

As you got closer you starred at his face intently and it clicked.

“Rogers?”

No sooner the words left your mouth he had you up against the alley wall holding your cheeks and kissing you with fierce abandonment. You pulled his hat and sunglasses off let them fall to the ground.

It caught you off guard, the force and wildness as your lips crashed and his tongue demand entrance to your mouth which you gladly allowed. As he was mapping your mouth his arms began to trail down gripping your ass roughly. On instinct you wrapped your legs around his waist, he gladly held you up.

You pulled away to catch your breath and the moment you took another breath he was on you once more, biting your lip pulling a soft gasp from your mouth. He groaned grinding his pelvis into you, both you feeling the dampness in your bikini bottoms.

You could feel him against you, hard and hot. Just as you started to feel dizzy from his demanding kisses he kissed his way down your neck, biting then gently caressing the bite mark with his tongue only to then suck on the same spot. His beard rubbing against your skin in just the right way, you couldn’t help but whimper and dig your nails into his deltoids.

He called out your name, voice deep and gravelly against your neck.

“Please,” you gasped out, not sure what you were pleading for, more or less? His touch was so rough, so much more forceful than any time before. His hands were continuously kneading your ass and helping roll your hips into him with great force.

You felt his breath against your neck, it started shallow but you could feel it begin to slow, his hands just holding you.

Finally he pulled his head out from your neck and looked you in the eyes. There was an unsettling darkness in his look, something unfamiliar to you.

He opened his mouth to say something but a groan from the man he knocked out stopped him. You both looked toward him, his eyes remaining closed but head moving a little. Steve let you down to your feet. Once on them you gasped at the forgotten pain from glass and gravel in your feet.

Steve glared at you, “How could you chase after someone without shoes on and in only a bikini?” sounding like a parent scolded a child.

“My shoes and clothes were in the bag. Might I add I have a robe on!” you matching him with tone of a petulant child.

He rolled his eyes “See through robe,” he picked up the side of you robe to make his point, “What do you think was going through those men’s minds as they saw you chase after this thief?”

“Look at that girl run?” You tried to joke but it was met with a seething glare.

“They were looking at what’s MINE and ogling it.” You could feel the bass in his voice, it scared and excited you. What was going on with Steve?

Before you could vocalize your thoughts he put his sunglasses and ball cap back on, then grabbed both bags the thief had and held them out to you. You took both and squeaked when he lifted you up with one arm under the bend of your knees and the other under your upper back. You placed both bags in your lap and wrapped an arm around his neck.

He began to walk further in the alley way shadows before you spoke up “These aren’t both mine!”

“You’ll have to get the other one to its rightful owner after you’ve put some actual clothes on and I’ve treated your feet.” You nodded silently, his tone still rough.

He took you back to your motel room, how he knew it was yours was bothering you. What was even more bothersome was his silence as he sat you at the edge of the bathtub, robe tossed on the floor and he began to run water while sitting on the toilet seat adjacent.

“Steve…” you broke the silence.

“How long have you been following me?” He cleared his throat and focused on cleaning out your feet.

“How long have you been trying to…” you winced as glass was being pulled from your feet “…find me?”

He pulled the last of the glass from your left foot and looked at you directly.

“You made it hard to find you, never staying in one spot for long,” he went to work on your right foot avoiding your gaze. “I was impressed; you never lost your edge for hiding huh?”

The implications related to your past were not lost on you. A past you worked hard to keep from most, but not him.

“I’m not as good as Nat but I certainly can stay hidden until I want to be found.” Silence encased the bathroom as he worked on your foot and you worked hard to ignore the feeling.

“8 months.” He spoke so softly you almost missed it. He had finished cleaning your feet and started wrapping them in gauze.

“Hm? 8 months?” He didn’t respond until he finished bandaging your feet and pulling them in to his lap.

He stared down at your feet, caressing your ankles. “We got to Wakanda,” you were right, “and Bucky wanted to go back under while they worked out how to reverse the effects of Hydra’s brainwashing.”

He raised his head to face you. “I started looking for you the moment he went under. I regretted not asking you to come with me.” He leaned forward placing his hand against you cheek, you immediately nuzzled into his hand keeping eye contact.

“When Nat heard about mercenary for hire making way along the coast of Morocco I had a suspicion it was you. I found you here a week ago, checking into this motel.”

“Why did you wait so long to talk to me?”

“Things have changed, I have changed. I’m not Captain America.” You slid into his lap, his hand gripping our thighs as you steadied yourself.

“You never were Captain America to me…” You push his hair falling onto his forehead to the side. It’s so disheveled; it was weird seeing him without it in perfect condition but you liked this more.

“We’re meant to grow Steve, it’s okay if you changed.” You kept gently caressing his face.

“I almost fucked you in that alley way. I would have too had that thief not started to wake up.”

You gasped at his words as he moved his hands to your hips sliding you closer to him in his lap, pushing you pelvis against his.

“In fact I think I would have liked him to have woken up, seen my cock buried deep in your tight pussy.” you whimpered as you grinded on him, his words scaring you as they were not him but excited you none less.

“Know this body belongs to me,” his hands smacked both your ass cheeks and pushed you flush to his hot confined throbbing cock. You gave a startled yelp that turned into a moan.

“That YOU belong to me,” he stood up, your legs wrapping around his waist again.

“You belong with me, by my side, forever,” the last part he spoke with hope, as if he wanted you to agree.

“Just ask,” you implored as he laid you on the bed, your knees bent and legs spread to make room for his giant body.

His eyes narrowed at you.

“I’m way past asking permission,” he growled and ripped your bikini top off, you moaned as you felt the fabric tighten then snap against his strength.

“Steve,” you tried to get him to talk to you more but he ignored you in favor of pulling his own shirt off then attacking your neck as he was in the alley.

This time instead he was roughing sucking on your neck while his hands roughing massaged your breasts.

You responded by wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling his hips down to grind against you. His rough attention was driving you insane.

To be without him for so long and come back with this force, this possessiveness nearly made you cum.

He continued to suck on your neck working to leave a mark, a reminder of what he told you. One of his hands moved inside your bikini bottoms.

Slowly rubbing a few circles around your clit you gasped and dug your nails into his shoulders, the sensation was too much. Just then he plunged two of his fingers inside you and curled up, continuing to rub random patterns against you clit with his thumb.

You lifted your upper body up, mewling at the sensation.

“Look at how responsive your body is to me, your pussy aching for me.” he growled into your ear, stopping his ministrations on your neck.

“Tell me, have you been taking care of yourself while I’ve been gone?” He lifted his head up looking you in the eyes a darkness there that was daring you to lie.

Your cheeks were already flush with arousal but you could feel them warm even more with embarrassment. “Ye-yes.” you got out meekly.

He chuckled, it was a dark chuckle, something you’ve never heard from him before.

“Did you think of me nightly doll face?” he continued thrusting his fingers into you at an increasing pace. You cried out gripping his forearm, it was almost too much.

“Oh no no,” he growled and increased his pace, curling his fingers ever so slightly reaching for your special spot. “You’re so tight around my fingers,”

“I missed feeling you wrapped around my cock.” He began to unzip his pants while speeding up his rubbing of your clit and adding a third finger inside your dripping pussy.

“Yes, you know what I want,” your finger nails dug into his arm. “You’re going to give this to me.”

Your eyes widened as you felt the pressure build up inside you. It was too much, this was nothing compared to what you could do for yourself. It was almost better than how it used to be between you two.

“Steve,” you gasped out the pressure building up at a scary pace.

“Yes doll face? What do you need?” A smirk played at his lips.

“Please-” but you couldn’t finish as you felt the dam release. It was over powering as your eyes rolled into the back of your head your hands going limp against his arm.

You could feel the wetness seep out of you.

“Fuck, you’re always so good for me.” you barely heard Steve’s words as the blood was rushing loudly through you, your body not able to come down as he continued to rub your clit but remove his fingers from inside you.

“Too much!” You gasped out, your hands trying to pry his hand off you. Your legs start to flail.

“No!” He ordered and you stilled. He pulled his cock from his pants, it was red and you could almost make out the throbbing veins from above.

You knew after 8 months without him it was going to be a bit of an adjustment given how long and thick he was.

“8 months you made me search for you,” you felt the head of his cock pressing against your opening. His words full of frustration and indicating he had been thinking about the time between as well.

Before you could express your concerns he plunged in. When you both felt him bottom out a mixture of moans and gasps were released between the two of you.

His fingers stopped rubbing you clit letting both of you revel in the feeling of finally being together again. He shifted his hips and you moaned out his name.

“That’s it, you know who you belong to.” he pulled himself out until just the tip was inside you.

You wrapped your legs back around his waist trying to pull him in. He made a sound of disapproval and pulled both your legs from around his waist and in front of him bending you in half.

“This is how I’ve wanted you,” his voice was graveled again, you saw the darkness in his eyes as he starred down at you. His body completely covering you.

“Helpless beneath me, all mine, and not pushing me to ask for it, but letting me take it.” He plunged back in at that, you cried out at the force of his thrust.

“Not too loud doll face, you don’t want to cause any concern have someone see you like this,” he smirked again, “or do you want someone to see you like this.”

You whimpered at the thought, finding it scary and turning you on even more at the same time.

He started a punishing pace, staring right into your eyes, as you held your legs together to the side of your face. His look was relief mixed with anger and that raw desire you were used to from him. You were trying to hold back your cries. He placed his hands on the back of your lower thighs, using it as leverage to continue his pace.

“Please,” You whimpered out, “Steve.”

He looked down at you raising an eyebrow.

“Come on,” he spoke your name tauntingly, “All you have to do is ask right?”

You groaned out, using your words against you. With every moment you were seeing a different side of Steve. You weren’t sure yet if it was good or bad but it certainly lead to a lot of pleasure.

“Cum, I want to-” you gasped out as he started rubbing you clit.

“Do it, cum on my cock,” his force was wearing down the bed frame, it began to creak and shake with each thrust.

You closed you eyes the intensity too much for you to even look at him, this was four times as intense as the last one. You tried to grasp anything you could to ground yourself.

You opened your eyes as he grabbed one of your hands, pulling to his face he kissed the back of your hand. Never breaking eye contact as he continued to thrust and rub your clit through your orgasm.

“Be good for me now, I want to feel you cum on my cock again,” Your eyes widened as you tried to shake your head no but it was too late.

“Remember I’m not asking,” he warned.

Another orgasm crashed over you unexpectedly from all the over stimulation.  Suddenly his pace picked up with urgency.

“I’m gonna cum in you doll,” you shook your head no. You knew it wasn’t safe.

“Steve, wait I’m-” he kept his pace up.

“I know, and I don’t care,” you felt yourself edging towards another orgasm at his words. What was wrong with you?!

“I’m going to fill you up with my seed,” he groaned at the image in his mind. “Your stomach round with OUR child. That’s what I want.”

You came again, it was too much, HE was too much, you felt your vision swirling.

“No, stay with me.” He quickly pulled your legs back around his waist. His hips movement becoming erratic and desperate.

He groan out your name as he came inside of you just as he said he would. His hips jerked as he continued to cum in you.

When he was spent, he didn’t pull out. Still hard he remained inside you.

“Steve, I can’t-”

“Sssh, I know I know.” He rolled over pulling you with him, staying inside of you.

A soft whimper escaped your lips as you sat up, feeling him shift inside you. He groaned and griped your hips.  

He bent his knees behind you and you leaned back on them. He thrust upwards once, watching your breasts bounce with the movement brought a smile to his face.

You giggled softly at his actions. The sensations making you giddy from all the endorphins running through you.

He felt like a drug induced dream almost. You frowned slightly, what if he wasn’t real?

You bent down towards him and kissed him hard, running your fingers through his hair.

“Please don’t disappear on me,” you pleaded against his mouth.

He looked at you in shock.

“What are you talking about?“he sat up pushing you up with him.

"What if they find you? Or Bucky again? You’ll go off and I don’t want to come between you two but-”

He kissed you gently, his hand caressing your cheek.

“You are mine and I am yours.” he flexed his hips proving his point and causing you to let out a moan.

“Prove that I’m yours,” he goaded you as he laid back.

You smiled at him as you placed you hands on his chest, and started to move your hips back and forth. The groans he emitted empowered you to speed up your movements.

Even with your current speed it wasn’t enough for Steve. He started thrusting upwards, you gasped in shock, everything was still so tinder.

With his feet planted flat on the bed and knees bent he started thrusting up into with precision. One of his hands shot up to grip your neck gently and the other began rubbing your clit.

You started to squirm and moan on top of him. It overwhelmed you but you didn’t want it to stop.

He tightened his grip around your neck, you went almost limp letting your weight fall on it and he smiled.

“Someone likes to be choked?” His words were accusatory but his tone was pure desire.

You meekly nodded your head followed by a struggled moan as he quickened his pace on your clit.

“Please, please,” you hoarse out within his grip.

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you that baby,” he started pounding into you from below.

“I can feel you tighten around me at the thought, I’ll give you my seed, but you have to be good.”

You immediately started cumming, pulsing around his cock as he continued his brutal pace.

“You really want it don’t you?” his hand left your clit to rub your lower abdomen.

“Do you feel me right there?” He pushed down and you flooded his lap cumming again. He groaned not expecting you to spasm around him again, he could take no more and with one final thrust he filled you again groaning out your name.

This time as the darkness began to swirl your vision it embraced you fully.

When you came to you first felt a warm damp feeling brushing over our inner thighs and groin. You slowly opened your eyes to see Steve still naked wiping you down with a warm wash cloth.

He looked up and smiled sheepishly when he saw you were awake.

“I may have treated you too roughly,” he admitted remorse clear in his voice.

“I’m sorry I lost control, after I kissed you the first time I could think of nothing but possessing you in every way possible.” He looked down as he continued to clean you.

“We can shower in a little bit once your energy is recouped.” He set the wash cloth on the bedside table and crawled up next to you and pulled you into his chest.

You curled up into him enjoying the rhythmic beat of his heart.

When you awoke again it was dark. Steve was walking about into the room, fully clothed and with food.

You smiled at him, sitting up in the bed causing the bed sheet that covered you to slip down. He hummed when he saw your chest.

You went to pull the sheet up but he spoke up “Don’t cover up, I love to see what is mine,” he growled.

“You better feed me before you start that up again.” He chuckled and sat the food down on the bed.

You two ate in silence, enjoying the food and each other’s company.

Once you were both finished it was time for a much needed shower. You wanted to shower together but that tiny bath tub proved to be ill accommodating to a super solider plus one.

You lay in the bed satisfied watching Steve put on his boxer briefs and get into bed with you.

“We’re heading to Wakanda tomorrow, any loose ends you need to tie up here before we go?”

You looked at him scandalously; did he just TELL you what you were doing?

“Steve, I have a few things may take a day or two-”

“Find a way to do it in one, our rendezvous is at 1900 hour tomorrow,” he looked at you with a stern gaze.

You went to voice your protest but before you could he shut it down.

“I’m not leaving you behind, I’m not asking either.” He laid back and pulled on top of his chest.

You huffed but cuddled up to him, nuzzling you face into his chest closing your eyes. A smile spread across your face. You wanted to be madder at him but demanding him to be at your side felt right. Maybe he needed to not be Captain America to become more Steve.

[penninstitute]

Case #9910208

Statement of Adrienne Tasker, regarding her childhood friend Kennedy Holst. Original statement given February 8th, 1991.

First things first: I will never forgive the town for what they did to Kennedy Holst.

She was the one good thing I had there, and everything about her was destroyed to create something worse.

I know I should start from the beginning and give a proper explanation, but Corsica deserves this, even if they’ll never read it. Whatever thing is ruining that town, whatever thing ruined Kennedy, it needs to be said that it is horrible and disgusting and I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell anyone.

Kennedy and I grew up in Corsica, Pennsylvania. The Holsts moved into town one July evening when I was four, and my mother made fast friends with them. Right away, Kennedy and I took a liking to each other. We were the same age, we both had older siblings who also became friends, though I don’t know what really happened to Josephine after she got out. I know Alex still lives at home. He never did escape, not the way I did. Nor the way Kennedy did, as fucked up as it was.

I don’t know if I feel bad for him or not. I think I was scared for him, once, but now… I don’t know. I don’t know if he knows what’s really happening there.

I’m not sure I do, either. But I’m not afraid of it anymore. Just angry.

There is--was--a house in Corsica, Pennsylvania, we called the Crucible House. It was old and abandoned and always smelled vaguely of smoke. People reported hearing screaming or smelling burning hair when walking by, but investigations into the place found nothing. It was named the Crucible House because of rumors about modern-day witch trials that took place there, rumors about girls being burned at the stake within its walls. I thought it was all bullshit, just a spooky story told by the seniors in high school to scare the freshmen that had just read The Crucible for their summer work--watch out, or you’ll get sent to the Crucible House.

I thought it was entertaining. Now it’s not funny anymore.

Kennedy and I stuck together all the way through high school. The two of us were best friends, you wouldn’t find us anywhere without the other. I told her all of my secrets, and she… well, I thought she told me all of her own.

I was a little in love with her, if I’m being honest. She was so sweet, one of the kindest people I’d ever met. Despite her family’s struggles with money and mental health and whatnot, she managed to keep smiling through it all. Managed to keep her chin up, almost until the end. She was… so pretty, too, with long blonde hair and the prettiest brown eyes. Admittedly, I was more than a little in love with her.

We were two parts of a whole, people would joke. We were fated to be friends, platonic soulmates in their eyes. Though I would’ve liked to drop the platonic part. I don’t know if Kennedy would have felt the same way, before everything happened, but… I think she did. I think she still felt it, even after everything. I kind of hope she did.

I just don’t know if that would bring her back to me. I’d like it to. But I don’t know how any of this works.

Kennedy stole a lot. It was a bad habit of hers, something she did all the time, she’d pocket anything small enough that she could get away with. Sometimes, she would return things, but more often than not she’d just forget what she’d bought and what she’d stolen. I thought it was a bit endearing, the forgetfulness, but the stealing was a touch concerning.

But I never bothered her about it. It was her life, who was I to tell her what she could and couldn’t do? Fuck capitalism, anyways, these were big stores that could handle a few losses. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

But then her father found out.

James Holst started out a kind, understanding, patient man. I remember him, back when I was little, he was always so sweet. He was like a father to me, since mine was never in the picture, up until sophomore year of high school. Then, he began to change. I don’t know what it was about him, but he grew temperamental, rude… hot-headed, I guess works. And his eyes were a horrible red, it was unnatural--they’d always been brown, but one day they weren’t, and quite honestly, I’m still a bit scared of him. I don’t know where he is now, but he’s not dead. He did not die in that fire, that night.

James caught Kennedy stealing one afternoon, and yelled at her out in the yard for everyone to see. It was one little thing, and he brought Hell down on her head, screaming like a lunatic--it scared me. It scared my brother, it scared Josephine, it brought Kennedy to hysterics. And the neighbors just watched like it was a show. Kennedy’s mother looked almost amused as James shouted about damnation and Hell and how Kennedy was awful, horrible for all of these little things. He even said some queerphobic bullshit about Kennedy and Josephine, and nobody did a fucking thing.

I don’t know how I didn’t notice it until that moment, but everyone’s eyes had turned so… cruel. My own mother, who would have clutched her pearls at the idea of someone screaming at a child, was silently staring, eyes alight with intrigue, as if wondering how this would play out.

Kennedy was dragged inside, and I had never felt more afraid than I did in that moment. I honest to God thought James was going to beat her.

I almost wish he had, as horrible as that sounds, because she may have been able to escape that. She may have been able to get away, if that was all he did.

Later that night, my mom said we were going out with the Holsts for dinner and a show to try and lighten the mood. Alex and I were apprehensive, but I went over to Kennedy’s house to bring her back to mine so we could get ready together. She needed the space from her father.

She was quiet when she came over. Had I known that would be our last night together, that quiet, afraid July evening like the one she moved in on, I would have done more, I would have said something, I would have told her everything I felt. But the truth of the matter is that I didn’t, and I don’t know if I will ever be able to tell her.

I remember how she looked that night, in a plain white dress and sneakers, because she didn’t have any nicer shoes to wear. I thought it was cute, charming--the typical thoughts of a young girl who was hopelessly in love with her best friend. I sat her down, took her by the shoulders, and told her that I would always be there for her, through everything, and she could tell me if things were worse than they seemed. She could tell me what was wrong, what was going on with her father.

“It’s over, Adri,” Kennedy said. “We won’t have to worry about it anymore.”

I didn’t know what she meant. But I loved her, I trusted her, I had to trust her. So I did.

I shouldn’t have.

I only realized just how bad things were when we pulled up in front of the Crucible House. James was there, waiting, with his wife and Josephine, and about two dozen other people from town. It’s a small town, I had known these people for years, the families had been nothing but kind, but that night--that night their eyes were cold.

Millicent Jacobs, the kind, young, single mother of two-year-old Evan Jacobs. Romeo Payes, my English teacher. Ellie Johnson, the eldest daughter of the Johnsons. Kind, regular people, big names in a town of roughly 300, people I knew and people that knew me.

Turns out I didn’t know them at all.

The building was hot when we entered. Stuffy, stifling heat. I began to sweat almost immediately, and it was disgustingly dry inside. I couldn’t get away. I was afraid, I didn’t know what was going on, this wasn’t what my mom had said was happening, and I did not trust a word anyone said to me from there on.

James sat Kennedy down on a chair at the front. Everyone else took their seats in benches that surrounded the large, wooden stake in the center of the room. It was all so closed in, so hot and cloying and awful, and Kennedy looked afraid and resigned all at once and I wanted nothing more than to hold her hand, than to run with her, than to get away.

But I sat and looked pretty, because I could not escape without these people going after me--I knew, then, that they would chase me if I ran. I didn’t know how to get us away safely, so I sat, frozen, clutching Alex’s hand so tightly it hurt. Josephine held my other one. We didn’t know what was happening, but we were afraid, and we knew it would be bad, whatever it was.

James tied Kennedy’s wrists above her head, pinning them to the wooden stake. I clutched Josephine and Alex’s hands so tightly I thought I would break them. I couldn’t do a thing as the kindling was arranged.

Kennedy did not scream when she was set on fire.

The crowd cheered when she went up in flames. I think I may have been screaming. Josie and I were crying. Alex didn’t even look present. Kennedy burned alive in her pretty white dress without a sound, and everyone was happy.

She died.

And then she didn’t.

Cheers turned to screaming when the building caught fire, and Kennedy tore away from the stake, still burning. Her eyes were golden in the rising flames, and she shoved through the crowd, leaving footprints burned into the wood in her wake, and she grabbed my arm and ran.

It burned. There is a handprint scorched into my skin where she grabbed me. We left that house, and she left me on my front porch in tears.

“Stop crying, Adri,” she said softly, “it’s over.”

I was afraid of her in that moment. She was different, leaving burned footprints in her wake, smoke curling off of her shoulders, looking untouched by the flames. She did not touch me again, and disappeared before anyone returned to find her.

The next morning, the Holst household had been burned to the ground. Josephine had taken the car and left. I moved away for college two months later, and I’m never going back.

FOLLOW-UP NOTES

- This is not the first time Corsica, Pennsylvania has come up. In Case #9971014, Ms. Coombs moved to Corsica before her home caught fire in 2002, and she has not been seen since.

- Fire seems to be a commonality between these two statements. It’s interesting, to say the least, along with the sudden shift from kindness to cruelty noted here. I don’t know what would cause such a thing, but whatever is afflicting this town seems to enjoy causing pain.

- As for Ms. Holst, she reportedly died in a house fire on July 19th, 1990, though that is clearly not the case if what’s stated here is true.

- The people of Corsica, Pennsylvania refuse to speak to Institute staff at all. I may send Felix, Blair, or even myself up to check out the town in person, once the Skinsnatcher case is over with.

[anshiva]

Diabolik Lovers BLOODY BOUQUET Vol.12 Subaru Translation

It took me so long, but now it’s done. Next will be Ruki’s Zero CD. You can listen it here.

Track 1. A contented mundanity *footsteps* Subaru: She’s late. Well, she said changing the dress could take awhile. It can’t be helped. But I can’t calm down anyway. I would never dress this stiff costume again. *takes out the white rose* Today I have to give it to her. *you knock the door* Subaru: Wh... *hides the white rose* If there is a key then I’m here. *you come in* You’ve finally come. Damn, how much time do you plan on changing... Ah... Em... Well... Are you done with the preparations? Geez, I got tired of waiting! Left me waiting in this stiff costume. Subaru: Wh... What’s wrong? Huh? Oh, I’m just impressed. You don’t usually dress like this, right? This is a bit strange to see you in dress you don’t wear everyday. But, you know, it suits you. Honestly, I want to call off the wedding right away. Because, I don’t want others see you in this dress. But I can't stop that, right? Subaru: Yeah, that's right! We need to go to ceremony and show everyone that you belong to me. *someone knocks* It's that time already? It can't be helped, let’s go. Hey, give me a hand. *comes out* Subaru: I gently put a rose, that I secretly brought with me, in her hand. While I watched her embarrassed smile, I remembered the days before I get here. Remembered that day when I promised not to lose her anymore, and when I almost lose her. *door opens* Subaru: There you are. If you gonna stand outside right after the bath, you’ll freeze. Subaru: You can watch the sky from your room. Eh... Damn, I wonder what are you thinking about? It can’t be helped. *hugs* If I do like this, will you feel a little better? Subaru: Shut up! It would be a pain in the ass, if you catch a cold. So listen obediently what I say. But why are you watching the sky? Subaru: Huh? You were thinking about others? Tch! They’re living like they want, right? Subaru: No buts! Darn, you like your previous life so much? Subaru: N-no... I mean, don’t talk about other guys in front of me. Think only about me. Don’t look away! *kisses, you push him* What? Aren't you glad that I’m your partner? Come on, say it. Subaru: Tch... You’re mine. I won't forgive the resistance. *kisses* Subaru: Huh? I’m different from usual? Why you say that all of a sudden? Subaru: So you mean kisses aren't enough? He-he, you want my fangs so much?  Subaru: Hm, you never know. *hugs* Listen, are you... happy now? Subaru: Suddenly or not, is not what matters now. Answer quickly. Why you so warm? Subaru: Huh? Wha... Why you do say such embarrassing thing? You want me to crush you? So, that's what it is to be with beloved? You're kidding me. Subaru: Shut up! Don’t pull me! Shit... Enough! Go back inside. *opens the door* And forget everything I told you, understand? Track 2. The visit of the black curse *footsteps* Subaru: M? What are you doing here? Subaru: The book? Ah, you were trying to reach it? He-he. You’ll never get it like this. Subaru: What? That just a fact, right? I mean, if you can’t reach it, you can bring a chair or something like that. *you take a chair* Eh... Tch... Looks shaky. Subaru: Don’t worry, you say? *you take the book, books start to fall, then you fall* Hey! *catch you* Hey, are you okay? Darn, if I wasn't here, it would be a tragedy right now. Subaru: Nh... By the way, how long will you lay on me? Stand up already! Subaru: Hm? You don’t have to apologize. Subaru: Hm? What’s wrong with you? You skinned your knee. Show me. *you show* Such wound will heal, if I lick it. *licks* Huh? Subaru: He-he, there is nothing to be ashamed of. I just treat your wound. Subaru: Don’t move, stay still. *licks* Ah... Enough, I guess. Now, don’t touch it and it’ll heal soon. Subaru: He-he, you was so embarrassed just a minute ago, and now you thank me. But thank me not by words... *pushes* but deeds. Subaru: You don’t get it, until you’re told, right? I’m saying, give me your blood. Licking is not enough for me. Give me more. *tears the clothes* Heh, if you don’t want it, then resist. He-he. Subaru: Huh? What’s wrong? You very obedient today. Usually you tell me to stop. So you do what I say after all? Subaru: Nothing. Enough, I’ve changed my mind. *gets up* Subaru: I told you I won’t drink your blood! Go read your books.  Subaru: I said it’s nothing! That's none of your business. Damn it... *goes away* Subaru: What the hell? Shit! *hit the wall* Why is she...  Subaru: She said that would be happy to live with loved one. Even I think I’m a happy when spend time with her. But I don’t know is she really think that way. She always answers what I want to hear, so sometimes it bothers me. That she has other things on her mind, while telling me what I want to hear. I felt like misgivings, that suddenly crossed my mind, started to growing day by day. Subaru: Heh... What should I do? Ah, shit! It's not like me! *hits the wall* I don’t get it! Subaru: Oh? White roses? When did they bloom? *picked flower* If I bring it, she might be happy. *walks away* *you open the door, grab a bouquet, walk* Subaru: Oh! You... Why are you here? Ah... No... Well... About recent... Huh? Hey, what is it you're holding? Subaru: The bouquet of black roses? What the hell? Subaru: Someone rang the doorbell? Ah... So, it was lying here? And, who they're from? Subaru: You don’t know? There must be a card, right? *grabs the card* Tch! What is this card? There's nothing on it. Where this from? Who sent this? Subaru: M? No, I didn’t see anyone. Huh? It has nothing to do with what I was doing! I didn’t want to see you face, so I went outside. What's wrong with it? Subaru: Eh... Well... Tch... First of all, get rid of this bouquet right now. The flowers from unknown person looks too suspicious. Also, black roses! It’s disgusting. Subaru: How it could be a waste something that didn't exist from the beginning? Come on, throw it away. Subaru: Didn’t you hear me!? Okay, give me that, I’ll throw it. *you resist* I said, give me that! *you fall* Subaru: Ah... That’s your fault that you spaced out. Subaru: Heh... I’m not rude at all. You stay here. *you pricked the finger* Subaru: What’s wrong? You pricked your finger on a thorn? Tch! That’s because you didn’t want to give it. First, I’ll get rid of this bouquet. And you go treat you wound. Subaru: Huh? The blood is dripping on the card. What? The letters appears... “The thorn of black rose put a permanent curse on you. Your blood will slowly go bad and become a poison that cause pain to immortals. And no one could stop this. There's only one way to survive. Your blood must drink only your beloved one. If you won’t keep that rule, the curse will kill you instantly.” Subaru: Nh... So, now you... No, that’s bullshit. What the hell's a “permanent curse”? I don’t know who is it, but someone makes fun of us. Obviously, that is a lie! *takes the bouquet and walks away* *doors opens* Subaru: Tch! *burn the flowers* Shit! The black rose petals scattered on the floor, bloodstained card and one rose, plucked by me... I burned all together in fireplace and it quietly turned to ashes. While I was watching the rose I was supposed to give her and cursed, disgusting black rose were burning, I clenched my fists. Her awfully pale face, when she was watching me after I pushed her, crossed my mind. Track 3. An every torment *footsteps* Subaru: Damn... I was asleep, but didn't sleep well. I feel weird. She hasn't woken up yet? Well, I don't care. Ha! It can’t be! *walks away* *knocks on the door* Subaru: Hey! Did you wake up? *knocks on the door* Are you hear me? *knocks harder* I'm coming in. *opens the door, runs up to you* Hey! What happened? Why are you lying on the floor? Subaru: Huh? “The body’s on fire”? Maybe this is yesterday's curse? Subaru: Tch! When I drink your blood, I will found out this in any way. Subaru: Shut up! Since you need me, then silently give me your blood! In any case, this cannot be a curse. *bites and drinks* Subaru: Cough! Cough, cough! Ah... Damn... It's getting hot... Ah... Kh! Is that really... the curse of the black rose? So, that was true? Tch! Annoying... *bites and drinks* Subaru: I'll drink it to the last drop. *tears clothes, bites and drinks* Subaru: Cough... Cough... Cough... Cough... Don’t resist, stay still. *bites and drinks* Damn ... Subaru: Shut up! I don't care what happens to me. In fact, it's my fault this happened. If I didn’t doubt the curse, I would notice it much earlier. Heck! Subaru: If what is written in that card is true, then you ... *bites and drinks* Cough... Cough... Ah ... Ah ... Ah ... Then you also suffer. So I’ll drink... Kh... The blood poured again. And don’t stop. *drinks* Subaru: Now... here. *bites and drinks* Does it hurt so much? You have tearful eyes. *drinks* No matter how is it painful for you, I can't stop. *bites and drinks* Subaru: Ah... Ha... It seems... my body is on fire. Nh... And it doesn't look like the curse is gonna disappear. Kh! Shit... At this rate... we will both die. Nh, but... what to do! *hits the wall* Damn! *hits the wall* *you knock on the door* Subaru: Ah?! Tch! It’s her... *opens the door* Hey, why you came? I said... go sleep at your place. You can’t even stand on your feet. Subaru: I said you may not worry about me. You should worry only about yourself! I'm fine. Subaru: You’re mouthy. Come in, it's better than leaving you alone. *you come in* Subaru: How are you feeling? Does it hurt? This is all because of me. Subaru: Why aren't you blaming me? Isn't that all my fault? So, why don't you blame me?! You are suffering, but I can’t do anything! I can only... *pins you down* drink your blood. *bites and drinks* Subaru: You're always like that. You always, always accepting me. It’s killing me. *drinks blood* Cough... Cough... Cough... Subaru: Don't apologize. That not what I want to hear. Subaru: Huh? Why am I annoyed? It is obvious! Because, I don’t understand anything. I... don't understand how to help you. I will do everything to save you... But... I don’t know how. I don’t want to watch you suffer anymore. *drinks blood* Subaru: Cough... Cough... Cough... Don't fight back. I don’t give a damn what will happen to me. *drinks blood* Subaru: Damn... I keep drinking, but the blood is still flows. It has no end. Then I will drink your blood dry. *drinks* Subaru: Did I fall asleep? Huh? Where did she go? Shit! I told her not mill around. I have to go looking for her. Ha... Ah... Ah... Track 4. The last request *rustling grass* Subaru: She's not in the house. If you think about it... there’s only... one place left... The lake. *fell* Ah... ah... Damn... I took a couple of steps... and I'm already lying on the ground. I’m not the only one who suffer... she’s worse... I have no time... to rest... I have to hurry... *walks away* Subaru: *came running* Hey! I thought... you disappeared ... What are you... doing here? You didn’t come... to admire the landscape, right?... Did you ... cry? Subaru: Don't lie to me. I see traces of tears on your face. What... were you going to do here? Subaru: If you’re silent, I don’t understand. Speak! Subaru: I told you! I don’t understand, if you keep silent. Say it clearly. Subaru: You were going to... die? Subaru: Kh! You are... stupid! I said... I don’t want to see how you suffer! *hugs* But... I can only... share your suffering. Subaru: Listen... What do you want? Tell me. I want... you say directly about your feelings. Subaru: Want to be with me? You... This is really your true desire? What... I didn’t need to doubt from the very beginning. Subaru: You... once said... That you will be happy to be with your beloved one. Do you still think so? Subaru: I see. I think so too. I just need to be near you. Why I haven’t noticed such a simple thing earlier? You shouldn’t care where to be with your loved one. Subaru: Even if this didn't happen... *takes out a knife* do you know what it is? Subaru: Yes, that's right. This is my silver knife. Now, with his help, I will put an end to everything. Subaru: That's what I mean. I will kill with this knife. Subaru: Yes, this knife is very precious to me. But... that's why... I think I can kill you only with it. I should have thought of that earlier. If you die, you can free yourself from this suffering. Subaru: Hmm... Don't make such a worried face. After I kill you... I will immediately follow you. Subaru: It's funny to imagine what will happen after vampire die. I... no longer believe that even when I kill us, we will be together. But... even after death, I want to be with you. And what about you? Subaru: I see. *hugs tightly* Anyway, this is the end. I will say everything I wanted to say... before it's too late. You... said that all this crap with the curse of the bouquet... isn’t my fault. Yes, that was you who took that bouquet... but... the sender sent it to torture me. Ha... That's exactly what happened. Besides, this is my fault... that you pricked yourself on a thorn. Because, I pushed you back then... I'm the one to blame... It's all because of me... What came over me then? I didn’t understand your feelings... and didn’t know what to do. Subaru: Yes, exactly. You... always... answered what I wanted to hear. That is why... I always doubted... do you really think so... I thought... that I, without knowing it... made you be with me. Subaru: Now I know... this is your true desire. Since you chose me... accept me in spite of all the pain... I must be blunt. Subaru: I chose you... of my own free will... so, from now on... no matter what happens... I will always be there... Even in another world. *kisses* Subaru: What is it? Subaru: It’s late to be embarrassed. But not now. Be silent. *kisses* Subaru: Heh, are you serious? The day when you ask me to drink blood has come? Although... yes, this will be the last request. Subaru: Don't cry, I'm with you... There’s nothing to worry about. But you asked me properly. In last time... I will fulfill your request. So that all torment and sorrow disappear. I will hurt you... So, don’t forget... the pain from my fangs. *bell, heartbeat* Subaru: M? What... was that sound? Is it really... a thorn? *burned out* Subaru: Huh?! Already gone? Huh? Is that... Hey, give your neck! *licks, bites and drinks* I don’t feel... pain? *bites and drinks* Subaru: Ah... it is! But this is impossible. I was suffering just now, and everything has ended so simply? This is definitely not the end. Hey, how are you feeling? Subaru: I see. But don't relax yet. M? Don’t make such a face, I am right by your side. Whatever happens, everything will be fine. Subaru: But... why did the thorn suddenly disappear? I didn’t do anything. Subaru: Huh? The card? I burned it a long time ago. But, yeah, there was very much in it. Like, there is only one way to survive. Only a loved one can drink blood or something like that. A loved one... So, that means... That’s true? Subaru: I... I'm not red! Don’t say nonsense! Heck! Just recently you cried, and now you’re so bold. By the way, do you understand? If the card says the truth, then now you can’t accept anyone's fangs, except mine. Subaru: I-if you understand, then okay. *knife rings* He-he, this knife... I never got a chance to use it. But now we don’t need it. Because, from now on we will always live together. Forever. Subaru: M? What? Why are you blushing? Subaru: Huh? Proposal? WHAT?! What are you saying? Don’t say nonsense like that all of a sudden! In general, this is understandable without words! You will belong to me the whole life. In short, yes! Subaru: How annoying. Explaining to you every little thing... Damn... I will say only once. Marry... me. Subaru: What? What did you say? To invite whom? Subaru: To the wedding?! WHAT?! Are you idiot?! I won’t embarrass myself! Subaru: Not that I don’t want to... Don’t ask me... Subaru: Since we have the opportunity, you say... Ah... Tch! Fine, I’ll do it! Damn... Women love such stuff... What a pain! Eh... but... this is very handy. Subaru: This is a great opportunity... to show others that you belong to me. But before that... *hugs* first you need to learn that you are mine. Subaru: Don’t be shy. Because of the curse, I couldn’t do this, but now I will give you even more pleasure. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you anymore. Leave everything to me. *kisses* At least until the sun rises. *kisses* Track 5. Dedicated to the white rose Subaru: Since then I didn’t feel the effect of the curse, that tortured me, anymore. Looks like the curse is broken for real. I feel empty, but I’m relieved that everything back to normal. When I was suffering from the curse, many times I thought this is the end. I guess, she thought the same thing. But now came the major turning point for us. *door opens* Subaru: Heh... I’ve tired more than I expected. Subaru: How can you call it “okay”! These assholes... Even on someone else’s marriage ceremony they mess around all as they want. How annoying! I said them to go home. On top of that, they’re trying to take you away. I shouldn't have called them. Subaru: No, they rather came to tease me than to congratulate. Heh... That’s piss me off. And don’t laugh with them like a fool! Do you really understand who you belong to? Subaru: If you understand, then fine. By the way, you shouldn't even care about other guys! Heh... I was going to give you something after ceremony’s end.  Subaru: Wait a little. *take the bouquet* Here, I give it to you. Don’t worry, they’re not cursed. Back then, when you took that bouquet, I was planning to give it to you. These white roses were raised in the garden, and I thought you’ll like them. I couldn’t give it to you back then, so I’ll give it now. Will you accept it?   Subaru: Wh... H-hey! You hated it so much that you cry?  Subaru: If you happy, then you should say it right away. I was nervous. Subaru: Huh? Put it on you? Now? But ceremony already is over. Subaru: Tch... Fine. Where you want it? Give me flowers. Subaru: Like this? Hey, don’t move! If it tickles, then bear with it! Done! I guess that should be good. Come on, look in the mirror. Well? It’s okay? Subaru: Huh? You don’t need to thank me for that. *hugs you* It suits you. *kisses* Listen, whatever happens I’ll protect you. So, never leave me. Got it? Subaru: Yeah, good answer. I love you. And always will. *kisses*

[randomfandomfamily]

Sad one-shot idea incoming :( After putting Sheryl in her “cell”, Gary starts getting really REALLY sad and ends up starting to miss his dad IMMENSELY and then locks himself up in his room and starts drinking a lot while the rest of the crew is worried sick about him as he won’t open the door.

---

angst angst angst angst angst angst yes!

As happy as it made Gary to leave Sheryl alone with KVN, there was a piece of him that regretted not sticking to Nightfall’s plan. A couple of hours ago, he might not have had a problem killing her. In fact, he knew he wouldn’t have had a problem killing her.

If the choice was her or Quinn, he’d choose Quinn every time.

But he hadn’t considered the fact that he could do both. It wasn’t until he saw Sheryl crying--genuinely upset--that he realized he didn’t necessarily have to choose. Keeping his mother contained on the ship? Why hadn’t he thought of that first? It’s what he did with Avocato.

It bothered him that killing his mother was the first solution he thought of. Did it really matter that he didn’t or couldn’t follow through? Wasn’t just considering it bad enough?

What would his father think of him? The less rational part of him worried his father would never forgive him for considering something like that. But the more rational part of him knew that his father would be proud he made the right decision and didn’t follow through.

A few words of encouragement would have been fantastic, actually. And his dad had always been pretty good at that. As if his day wasn’t emotional enough, now he missed his friggin’ father. Awesome.

God, he needed a drink. It’d been a long few days. Weeks. Months, really.

Luckily, he knew Clarence had kept a stash of it back when he was still on the ship. And since he was no longer welcome on the Crimson Light (or anywhere near his family ever) Gary figured the con man probably wouldn’t miss it all that much.

It’d been a while since he drank anything. He had a shot with Quinn when they went to New York, but other than that, it’d been about five years since he’d had a proper drink. He was going to have to fix that.

And that night was as good a day as any.

He successfully grabbed a couple of bottles from Clarence’s room and snuck them back to his room. In hindsight, maybe he should have grabbed a cup, but he figured it wouldn’t really matter. There wasn’t anyone else to drink with.

Just him and a couple of bottles. What an evening.

Things didn’t start out so bad. Sure, everything got a little hazy, but other than that he was fine. He couldn’t even remember what he was upset about really. And that was a good thing, right?

Unless it was something important? He hadn’t forgotten anything important, had he? Was he upset about something important? Something about…

His dad.

Oh yeah.

Gary tried to recall some good memories with his dad to distract himself, but he was way too tired and way too drunk. Mostly, he was just sad. Why the hell was he so sad? Wasn’t he drinking to not be sad? Or was he getting drunk to forget?

Either way, the drinking was definitely happening.

The happy part didn’t seem to be happening though. And neither did the forgetting. The more he looked at the bottle of alcohol he was holding, the more he thought about his dad…

And his mom.

Specifically everything that had happened in his younger years. How did his dad ever find it in himself to love her? She was so miserable all the time.

And of course she drank when she was miserable. Which made her more miserable. A vicious cycle, really. Gary didn’t understand why anyone would-

… wait.

“Ohhhhh nooooooo,” Gary groaned, “I’m doin’ th’ same thing she did!” He flopped back onto the bed. “This night… is soooo not my night.”

And that was how Gary spiraled into his own little personal void of misery. His father would be so disappointed in him if he ever found out he had resorted to alcohol like this. He wasn’t an addict, obviously, because he hadn’t really drank in five years. But even turning to alcohol just for one night was bad enough.

There was work to be done. There was a mission to finish. There was a planet to save, and Gary decided it would be a good idea to get drunk? Boy oh boy, another great decision from Gary Goodspeed the Loser of Planets.

He took another swig instinctively, and pretty much immediately regretted it. Why would he keep doing this to himself? It wasn’t going to make things better.

But it gave him something else to blame. If he was miserable because of the alcohol, then he wouldn’t have to miserable about his father or his mom or Quinn or Avocato or the Earth or the endless cycle of bullshit that kept happening all around him.

And with every sip, more of all the bullshit faded away. So why not drink a little more? Why not drink until he forgot? Let the bullshit be bullshit some other day, he was allowed to have a break for just one night.

So why did he keep on crying?

The crying didn’t go unheard, either. Exhausted as everyone was, there was still a high amount of tension on the ship. Fox and Ash were in the medbay, making sure all of Fox’s mechanical life supports were functioning alright, and Nightfall was with them to make sure nothing went wrong.

But Little Cato was wandering the halls. He usually spent his down time with Gary, but he was nowhere to be found. So Little Cato thought maybe he oughta check Gary’s room, see how the guy was holding up after everything that happened.

He could some shuffling sounds coming from Gary’s room as he approached, meaning he was in there. That was the good part.

The not so good part was that it also sounded like he was crying.

“Thunder Bandit?” Little Cato knocked but Gary wouldn’t answer. “Gary, open up.” He tried to get the door open but it wouldn’t budge. Gary must have locked it. “Come on, man, I just wanna talk.”

When he still didn’t get an answer, Little Cato sighed and stepped away from the door. “AVA. Can you open his door?”

“That’s an invasion of privacy, Little Cato,” AVA reminded him, “I’ll open it, but if he’s mad, that’s on you.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Little Cato said, “Just let me go check on him.” The door slid open and Little Cato entered cautiously. “Gary?”

He flicked on the light and was immediately met with protesting. “Turn it ooooooff.” Gary rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. “Hurts m’eyes.”

Little Cato was kind of confused. “Gary, are you… doing okay?”

Gary suddenly gasped and sat up. “Spider-Man!” He wobbled a little as he stood up. “How’re you doing, kid?”

“Uh… I’m not…” Little Cato didn’t even know who this Spider-Man was. “Did you mean Spider-Cat?”

Gary snorted. “Probably.” He reached out and ruffled Little Cato’s hair. “What’re you doin’ in m’room? I lock- uh… I’m pretty sure I locked the door.”

“I asked AVA to open it.” Little Cato pushed Gary’s hand off his head. “Normally he didn’t mind, but Gary seemed really out of it. The behavior was almost kind of familiar. He just couldn’t place it… “I heard you crying and wanted to check on you.”

His father gasped. “Awwwwwww, you’re so sweet.” He ruffled Little Cato’s hair again. “You’re a… you’re just, like, a really good kid.”

Little Cato smiled awkwardly. “Well, thanks, I-I think.” He looked around the room to try and figure out what the heck could be making Gary act like this. Was he tired? Upset about his mom?

Then he saw them. Two bottles sitting beside Gary’s bed. Gary wasn’t tired.

He was drunk.

Little Cato pushed past Gary and grabbed one of the bottles, holding it up. “What are you doing with these?” he demanded.

Gary tilted his head. “Uh… drinking them?”

“You know what I mean.” Little Cato the second one. It was almost empty, maybe an inch or so of liquid swirling at the bottom. “Gary, we’re on a mission. You really think now is a good time to be getting drunk?”

“Who cares?”

“I care!” Little Cato shouted. “Do you know how many soldiers I’ve seen get wasted before an assignment and then not come back? What we’re doing is important. You can’t just- you-” He sighed. “Never mind. You’re probably only hearing every third word I say.”

Gary giggled. “Wha-ha-hat?”

“Exactly,” Little Cato muttered. He set the bottles back down and tried to think of what to do. Nightfall would probably smack Gary if she found out he got drunk. And honestly Little Cato was seriously considering it himself.

Two arms wrapped around him and pulled him off the ground. “Y’know what? I’m glad you’re here, Spider-Man.”

“Spider-Cat,” he corrected, “Or just call me Little Cato if it’s really that confusing.”

“I was reeeeaaaally sad before you came to check on me,” Gary continued as if he hadn’t heard, “Then you showed up and now I feel- I’m… I’m feeling a lot better.”

Little Cato squirmed out of Gary’s grasp and smoothed out his sweater. “What were you so upset about?”

“Don’t remember,” Gary admitted, “Somethin’ about my dad, I think.”

Well, it certainly explained a few things. Little Cato felt the initial anger ebb away, but he was still a little frustrated with his guardian. “Alright, just… don’t drink anymore.” He looked Gary up and down. “And you should probably, like, lay down or something.”

“Mmmmmm’kay.” Gary threw himself onto the bed unceremoniously. “I feel like shiiiiiiit,” He scrubbed at his eyes. “Oh my dad would kill me if he saw me like this.”

"No he wouldn't," Little Cato said.

Gary laughed. "Yeah, no he wouldn't." The drunken smile fell away from his face. "I miss him."

Little Cato felt a tug of sympathy. As much as he didn’t like the idea of Gary drinking, he knew how it felt to lose a father. “Yeah… I get that.”

That made Gary bolt upright and roll out of bed. “Oh my crap!” He fell face first on the floor, and scrambled to stand. “I’m so sorry!”

“What are-” He was interrupted by Gary scooping him up for the second time. “Dude, dude!”

Gary patted his head, bawling his eyes out. “I didn’t even think about- and you… awwwwww and Avocato.” He sniffed and hugged Little Cato tighter. “I’m such a bad influence. I’m a very very bad influence.”

Little Cato once again pried himself from Gary. “Look, man, it’s fine! It’s fine.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Gary put his hands on Little Cato’s shoulders. “Because we can- we can talk about our feelings.”

“No, I think you need some sleep.” Little Cato gently pushed Gary back towards his bed. “Just go back to bed, seriously. We can talk in the morning.”

Gary nodded. “Okay.”

Little Cato picked up the bottles as Gary laid back down. “You know, you probably should have used these to celebrate with Nightfall instead getting drunk and miserable all by yourself.”

“Celebrate?” Gary frowned.

“Yeah,” Little Cato said, “Celebrating. We got the Dimensional Keys, Gary. We got them back from your mom, we won this time. Your dad would be really-”

He stopped, realizing his moron of a father had fallen asleep at some point while he was talking. “You son of a-” Resisting the urge to hit Gary over the head with his pillow, he turned around and walked away, taking the two bottles with him.

His father was a clueless idiot, but drunk he was even more of a clueless idiot.

Clueless idiot or not, Gary was still his father. And while he couldn’t necessarily give him a lecture on the ethics of drinking on a dangerous mission, Nightfall definitely could, so the first thing he was going to do was tell her.

Right after he got rid of the alcohol.

Did this stuff really even help people? It just seemed to make things worse, as far as Little Cato could tell. What was the appeal? Sure it was fun at parties when you had people to laugh with, but it didn’t seem like too much fun if you were just… sad and alone. So why did so many people do it?

He studied the bottle and shook his head. “Man, grown-ups are stupid.”

[pigeontheoneandonly]

Crossroads

December 2185

Ryder’s late, so she’s into her second beer by the time he arrives and takes the seat across from her.  “You’re a hard woman to find, Shepard.”

She takes him in.  His voice matches the comm transmission, near as she can tell. Somehow older than she expected, with a face like leather and a swept mane of gray hair.  “It’s Nathaly.  And you should’ve been here an hour ago.”  

He raises his eyebrows.  “I don’t have to call you Lila?”

“Lila was the name of my imaginary sister when I was about, oh, eight years old.  Give or take.” She sits back with a sigh.  “Which of my parents spilled?”

“Your mother wouldn’t take my call.  My reputation precedes me.”

She watches him, then fumbles in her pocket and lights a cigarette.  “I have to say, Ryder, I wondered if the N7 commendation was as bullshit as the rest of you, but you did manage to track me down, all the way out here.  So maybe not.”

He chuckles.  “Alec, I insist.  And I didn’t come here with bullshit.”

They’re interrupted as the lone server comes to take his order— coffee, black.  She requests a third beer, not remotely caring what he thinks of her drinking, and takes another drag.  Ryder wanted this meeting.  He’s going to have to figure out how to ask what he came to ask.  She’s not inclined to make it easy.

Ryder clears his throat, and glances around the empty bar.  “This place is off the beaten path and then some.”

“It’s Christmas.  I didn’t have many options.”  It’s a dive and she knows it, though with a good view of the harbor.  This planet’s such a backwater everyone can afford good real estate.  “I’d think even a disgraced officer would have better places to be than the ass end of the Terminus.”

“My wife was Jewish.  Possession’s nine tenths of the law, so my kids are, too.” He takes in her expression and coughs. “A bad joke.”

Shepard makes a noise somewhere between satisfaction and contempt.  “I could’ve guessed you wouldn’t win dad of the year.”

“We all have our regrets.”  Ryder eyes her.  “You have kids?”

“No.”  Shortly. Shorter, maybe, than is expected.

“Married?”

“Almost, a few times.”  Her mouth quirking, because it’s sad and true.  “Truth?  I had a ten-minute call with my ex-boyfriend this afternoon, and a fifth of good scotch waiting at home, and those’ll be the highlights of my Christmas.”

“Then forgive me if you can’t understand, but sometimes, doing the right thing for your family means you miss out on everything else.”  

“And that right thing is this Andromeda Initiative.” She drains the last of beer two, and hopes the waitress hurries up.  She honestly couldn’t be more bored.  There’s too many disasters here at home for her to be concerned with new ones a galaxy away.

“My children are going into stasis in two days, Nathaly.  I’m supposed to be there with them.  I need to know that this is the right decision.  I need to know if what you’ve said about the reapers is true.”

She tenders him an exasperated look and glances off, smoke curling up beside her head.  “If there’s one thing I’ve learned since ‘83, it’s that there’s no proving anything to someone who doesn’t want to listen.  And no point in wasting my breath.”

Ryder grows a shade less patient.  “In my day, N7s didn’t run off to backwater colonies to hide from their problems.”

“In your day, all you needed to get an N7 commendation was avoid pissing yourself if a turian winked your way.”  Shepard snorts, and takes another drag, taps off the ash on the edge of the table.  They’re outside and the wind will blow it away.  “I needed to clear my head.  Get just five minutes without someone asking me to do something.”

“Before the real war comes?”

She regards him a long moment.  “So you’re already convinced.  Why do you need me?”

“I had to look you in the eye.”  A pause.  “And I wanted to tell you about the Initiative.  More than I could say over an open comm line.”

Part of her wants to get up and leave.  After Cerberus, hell, after the spectre program, Shepard was done with people trying to sell her on anything.  But she’s always been cursed with an inquisitive nature. One that had to light the fuse just to see how big the boom could get.  “I don’t know which of us is crazier.  Me for thinking we can win against something like the reapers, or you for thinking people can survive two million light years of dark space.”

“Me neither.”  The coffee arrives, and her beer.  He takes a careful sip, and grimaces.  “You sure can pick them.”

Her mouth turns up at the corner. “I don’t come here for the coffee.”

“It’s the last place in the galaxy that will let you smoke at the table,” he guesses, not completely missing the mark.

“Batarians love their cigarettes.  It’s more common out here than you’d think.”  Shepard sits back.  “We’re still not at the part where you ask me what you want to know.”

And she’s right, she knows she is, when he looks at her, long and hard and slightly stricken.  His uncertainty naked as it’s never been before anyone else.  “How do we know this is only a Milky Way problem?”

The answer’s just as blunt.  “We don’t.”

“How do we know they won’t follow us there?”

This time, it takes longer to respond.  “Reapers aren’t alive.  They’re a virus.  They attach to any spacefaring organic civilization they sniff out.  If they sniff you out?”  

She shrugs.  His mouth tightens.  He takes a sip of the awful coffee, and looks out over the harbor.

“But there’s this.”  Shepard takes another sip of beer.  Wipes her mouth.  “They’re at the end of a cycle, completely depleted of resources.  They don’t plan on human time scales.  And I bet they don’t move as fast as your Initiative ships. They’ll want to stock up, so there’s a couple hundred years of harvest after we’re defeated, if we’re defeated. Let’s call it three centuries even. That’s a hell of a head start, knowing what you know.  We didn’t get that here.”

“We’re leaving QECs in secure locations.  So we’ll know what happens.”

“That’s a bad idea,” she says.  Flatly.

He winces, as if in private agreement.  But he changes the subject.  “There’s another reason I’m here.”

She raises her eyebrows.  Suspicious already, but allowing Ryder the courtesy of measuring his own rope.  He continues, “There’s a good argument that your war isn’t something anyone can win.  Not with only a few squandered years of preparation.  We could use you on the other side.  A chance to do it right, with people who will listen.”

Shepard snorts, and drains half the beer in one pull. “People who listen.  Sure.”

“I mean it.”

“I’m sure you do.”  Her eyes cut to him.  Angry for the first time since he sat down.  “I’m not running out on this galaxy.  It’s mine to protect. That’s what being a spectre is, and an N7 marine, too.”

“I am protecting this galaxy.”  Ryder folds his hands on the dirty table, matching her word for leaden word.  “I’m making sure enough of it survives to carry on.  It’s not going to be easy.”

She looks away, a muscle twitching in her jaw. Because it does sound nice. Giving up on a problem she hasn’t been able to solve in nearly four damn years, that cost her life and a hell of a lot more beyond that.  Move on to something fresh.  Clean. Fixable.

If she thought for a second Kaidan might go, she’d actually consider it.

But he won’t, and she knows she’ll taste regret five minutes after the Initiative thaws her out.  So she looks back at Alec Ryder evenly.  “We’ve both made our choices.  I’ve thought for awhile I was meant to die here, doing this.  If anything’s big enough to become fate, it’s the reapers.”

“Or the Initiative.”  Accepting fully the implication.  “I didn’t expect to convince you.”

Her eyebrows rise.  “Then what?”

“I had hoped I could persuade you to leave this little paradise—” sarcasm dripping off each syllable— “For just long enough to take a little tour.  Maybe help me set up a few things.”

The cigarette had burned out.  She grinds it into the deck.  “Set up a few things.”

“You know.”  Ryder sits forward.  “Make preparations.”