#i need 200+ characters
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i wont ever forget when glass shattered on my head and i lost a chunk of hair in the front bc instead of giving me stitches or staples they glued it and ever since them ive had migraines in that area
#i wish i could forget this LMAO i was SOOO calm i didnt even panic until i saw blood rushing down the side of my face#i didnt even feel it tbh#im still numb right there :sob:#but yeah it was blood stains in our bathrooom for a while after that and i had to change pillows :sob:#wont ever forget this bc i was forced to keep the same hairstyle for a month until it healed and when i finally washed it it took hair with#AGHHHH IDC MY TAGS NEED TO BE LONGR#im a loredumper.#i need 200+ characters
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Decided to give Dragon Age another try and the first character I meet COMPLETELY wins me over in a matter of seconds-
#AND HE KEEPS GETTING BETTER- Alistair you singlehandedly pulled me back into enjoying video games and DRAWING- how dare you#dragon age#alistair theirin#alistair dragon age#dragon age orgins#fanart#my art#doodles#sketches#i have a very simple and obvious favourite character type and BOY OH BOY DOES HE DELIVER--#also gave me just the tiniest Stanford HWBF5 vibe so when I say i was sold in seconds I Mean It™#im still at the relative beginning of the game so i bet there is more fun to come but!! Fun to have someone to rotate in my brain again!!#100#tags here are a love letters to our lovely boi and i livr for them-- 💕#200#hello i love all of you - this is slowly becoming my favourite post just because of how nice it is to read your excitement over this boi :³#AND IM RIGHT THERE WITH Y'ALL i just need my real life to calm down for a second so i can draw more of him--#300#400#500
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i joke about ociel thinking he's his dad's age a lot but like really he does. something so heartbreaking about the fact that whenever ciel references his own age it's like he's making an inside joke- dryly reminding the dinner party in book of murder that children have early bedtimes, for example. as if his age is a mere technicality, it's inaccurate on some level but is still a loophole he can exploit when convenient. Feigned innocence.
Because in kuro youth primarily functions as an axis of powerlessness. Ciel can't act his age or he's delegitimized. It's just another wall he's built between his persona and his actual self. To be Earl Ciel Phantomhive The Queen's Guard Dog he buries his age, his name, his illnesses........ idk it just always gets me that he isn't only borrowing from his brother, but his father as well. Anybody but himself. He really believes it, too, that any lie can become the truth with enough dedication and hard work.. He's so good at deluding himself. But he's not a grizzled 34 year old detective :( hes just a baby :(
#he also tries so hard to bury his naturally empathetic tendencies but it doesnt work#i will not get into it but everything surrounding his relationship with finnian AUGH. boy i know you hired him bc you saw yourself#ciel phantomhive is a masterclass in character writing because tell me why hes constantly lying to everyone including himself about almost#every aspect of his identity. and yet the reader comes to know the true him so well. that is my baby boy#i need to save him so bad#arthur conan doyle and me are exactly the same in this way#kuroshitsuji#black butler#txt#50#100#200
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#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3 astarion#bg3 shadowheart#gamingedit#bg3edit#kill the shit ass abusers forever gif set. lol#I love it fits the characters to. Shadowheart just wants to forget and save her parents. You can take care of it.#Astarion just had this hate pent up for 200+ years. He needed to get it out.#blood//
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"babytrapped into caring for the entire orc race" has got to be one of the most interesting motives for joining the dark side i've ever seen
#adar the character that you are#i just watched the new ep6 clip and am going insane!!!!#he wanted kids and sauron made his wish come true Wrong! i need his full 200-page backstory now all the tidbits are so tantalizing#adar#rop#rop spoilers#rings of power
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can't believe a show based on a videogame (usually games adaptations are notoriously bad, which isn't the case here tho) gave me the beauty and the beast/twisted mirrors/enemies to traveling companions/ruthless antihero+optmistic but still badass heroine who takes none of his shit/age gap but make it sexy dynamic of my dreams. as much as i love maximus and i think he deserves the best writing ever because 1. he's a clever deconstruction of the aspiring Knight bro who's actually a bit of a loser and, as much as lucy, sees the world in black&white at first and then doesn't get what he thought he wanted but what he needs (or at least i hope he'll eventually get it), and 2. he's a cutie and i want an epic love story for him too, it's very funny how they tried to give us a puppy kind of romance and the tumblr girlies still fixated on the "toxic ~she bites his finger off and he cuts hers off and sews it on his hand in what we'll pretend it's a symbolic marriage rings exchange or whatever~ asshole who used to be a nice guy/good girl™ with a lot of spunk and hidden anger but unshakeable morals" kind of relationship.
#mind you idt the writers will ever have the guts to go for this pair or anything and i'm perfectly okay with the maximus/lucy romance#but still. they tried to give us the wholesome love story between two cuties with a killer side#and the fandom went ~mmmh we kinda want for that girl and the noseless radioactive ghoul to fuck nasty actually#shhdhdhf i'm sorry but this was so predictable to me. conosco i miei polli#also. i don't fully understand those who see it as a father/daughter thing? just because it worked on tlos#doesn't mean we need the same kind of dynamic here#1. despite him being an actual father (or at least. he was 200+ years ago) i've never seen a less paternal character than the ghoul lmao#2. lucy is an adult woman. young but in her mid twenties i guess? cooper had (and maybe still has) a daughter but the kid was like. 6 or 7?#lucy doesn't need a daddy she's a grown up. stop infantilizing women all the freaking time#let them be fully equals!! let them be bickering road trip companions/a killer squad/tentative allies who eventually form a real bond#i SWEAR if the writers go full parent/child bs with them in s2 because they're more popular#(at least on ao3. i don't expect the same level of insanity from the general audience)#than the canon ship i'll riot. idt they will but still#..... maybe they should go for a hot max/lucy/coop polycule instead. that would be interesting lmao#vaultghoul#fallout#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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insatiable appetite [1/?]
sooo... this is one of the thirstiest things i have written—and also one of the only times i've written a character with the kink, ever T.T warnings in advance for mess, character getting sneezed on, implied contagion, possible ooc-ness, & me writing this entirely with my d instead of my head
ivan and till are from al//ien sta//ge (a very fun watch which will only take 30 mins out of your life; i really recommend it!!). that said, this fic takes place in a modern au setting, so feel free to read it without any prior context :)
special thanks to @6pmsoup for sending me a very cute alnst doodle of these two which altered my brain chemistry permanently
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Summary: Till shows up to a dinner outing with a brewing cold. Ivan suffers. (est. relationship, kink!Ivan, ~2k words)
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For all Till tries to hide it, Ivan can tell immediately.
There’s this: Ivan has been paying attention to Till for most of his life. A full decade before they’d gotten together officially, and some more—this is how long Ivan has had to observe his tells. Always from the sidelines, always with a detached air of indifference that, in reality, was anything but.
All the signs are there the night before. Till, turning up the thermostat a couple degrees higher than he usually keeps it. Spending a little too long in the shower and using up almost all of the hot water. Clearing his throat one too many times in the morning before Ivan leaves for work, his smile distracted, the rasp of his voice nearly indistinguishable—but only nearly.
Now, Till is here for dinner—it’s a dinner they’ve had plans for a couple weeks now, at one of the nicer restaurants downtown, in celebration of Till’s recent promotion. Ivan had booked the reservation a couple weeks in advance.
When Till arrives, stepping out of a taxi cab, he’s wearing a scarf, even though the weather is too warm for it. Ivan steps up to meet him.
“Sorry I’m late,” Till says. “Traffic here was the worst I’ve ever seen it, swear to god.”
“Was it cold outside today?” Ivan asks, a little pointedly, tilting his head towards his scarf.
Till looks at him, his expression unreadable. Then he nods. “Colder than usual, for this time of year.”
“Strange,” Ivan says, just to be difficult. “But the weather forecast says it’s the same temperature today as yesterday.”
“It’s probably just windier today,” Till says, readjusting his scarf around his neck. His face is a little flushed.
“Your voice sounds a little off, though.”
Till clears his throat with a scowl. “You must be imagining it,” he says. “It always sounds like this.”
No admission, then. That’s fine. Ivan will get the truth out of him at some point. He lets Till guide him into the restaurant.
It’s a nice restaurant—worth the hassle of the reservation, Ivan thinks. Each table is set with flowers arranged tastefully in long glass vases, empty wine glasses turned on their heads. The server—who leads them to their table in a small, private booth—is wearing a suit.
It’s a shame, really. Ivan has a feeling that he won’t be able to pay attention to any of that tonight.
They sit. Ivan looks down at the menu, picks out something at random in a matter of seconds. Truthfully, he can hardly think of anything less worth his attention right now. He turns his attention to Till instead—Till, who’s seated directly across from him, the scarf still around his neck, obscuring the lower half of his face.
Till sniffles, reaching down to turn the page, and oh. The sniffle is terribly liquid—has he been sniffling like that all afternoon? Perhaps it’s a good thing that they work at different offices—Till at a law firm, Ivan as a senior manager at a consulting company—because Ivan certainly doesn’t think he’d be able to get any work done with Till sniffling like that.
It’s not two minutes later that Till is reaching up to wipe his nose against the back of one knuckle. All in all, it’s discreet. Just a quick brush of the fingers against his nose, which is still hidden under the scarf. Though, the look of sheer ticklishness that passes over his features for a brief moment there is...
“What are you thinking of ordering?” Ivan asks.
“I can’t decide,” Till answers. He turns the page again. “It’s between the ribeye steak and the… snf! The pork belly. Is this the kind of place that skimps on the portion sizes?”
“Not from their Yelp reviews,” Ivan says. “You know, if you really can’t decide, I can flip a coin.”
“I’ll pick,” Till says. “Why? Hungry already?”
He looks up, now. His eyes are a little watery. There’s a faint flush over the bridge of his nose. Ivan thinks that if he reached out and touched him, he’d probably be running warm. The thought is almost unbearable.
“Your taxi did take forever to arrive,” Ivan says, by way of explanation.
“Did you really wait that long?”
He looks uncertain, for a moment. Ivan says, “Not at all. But you know, I’m always impatient when it comes to you.”
Till rolls his eyes, but it’s fond. “There was a meeting that ran late. I wasn’t avoiding you.”
“Is that also a part of your new position?” “I guess so, yeah.”
“I can see why they were eager to promote you, then,” Ivan says. “How productive can late afternoon meetings be, anyways?”
Till snorts. “Not that important. It definitely could have been an email instead. I was about ready to doze off.”
He sniffles again. “Okay. I think I know what I want.” The way he says know betrays the slightest hint of congestion.
“At long last,” Ivan says, just to be a little bit of an ass. “I’ll call over the waiter.”
He flags their waiter down, waits for Till to order first.
“A spiced apple cider,” Till adds on, at the end, with the slightest of coughs. “Hot, if you can.”
That’s new, too. Till seldom orders hot drinks at restaurants, though he’ll drink tea without complaint if it’s offered. Perhaps his throat hurts, then, from the cold that has clearly started to settle in his system. Subtle, still, but Ivan is familiar with colds like this. He knows it will probably only be a few hours before this deceptively “small” cold turns into…
Ivan orders, too, and thanks the waiter, who leaves with a curt nod. When he looks back over to Till, there’s a… strange something to Till’s expression, a slight distractedness. Irritation.
Ivan swallows hard. He should look away.
He should, but then, Till’s breath hitches. He pulls the scarf higher over his face preemptively, as if he anticipates having something to have to cover for. The sharp intake of breath that follows is breathy, though Ivan can hear Till’s voice in it. He should really look away.
Instead, he takes the scene in, painstakingly, little by little, as Till’s shoulders jerk forwards. As Till presses a hand to the scarf, presses the fabric closer to his face, to muffle a sneeze into his fingertips:
“hhH-Ih!! hiHH-’IESCHH-eew-!”
God. It sounds utterly miserable, the harsh release of it scraping against his throat, the spray tearing into his scarf. It’s the kind of cold sneeze that is undeniably telling: this is going to be one hell of a cold. It’s not very quiet, either, even muffled into the fabric.
For more reasons than one, Ivan is glad they’re in a private corner of the restaurant, not somewhere more public.
“Bless you,” he offers, once he can trust himself to speak. It’s a good thing that Till is too distracted to look up at him right now. Ivan isn’t sure he can keep what he’s feeling off of his face.
Truthfully, he isn’t sure he’s going to be able to endure a whole night of this.
The problem here is that Till—Till, of all people; Till, who Ivan has been pathetically in love with for almost as long as he can remember—has no idea about Ivan’s… relatively niche interests. That is to say, he has no idea what effect it has on Ivan when he does that.
“Thanks,” Till says, a little stuffily. He sniffles again, lowering his hand.
Ivan can’t help it. He knows he shouldn’t pursue this line of questioning, but he can feel his self-control dwindling by the second. “Don’t you think it would be better to take off your scarf, now that we’re inside?”
Till freezes. “Y-You know what,” he says evasively. “It’s pretty cold in here.”
Ivan tilts his head in question. “And just how do you plan on eating like that?”
“I’ll take it off when our food comes.”
“I can ask the waiter to turn the temperature up, if it’s a problem,” Ivan says.
“It’s not a problem.”
Ivan rises from his seat. Till watches him, perplexed, as he heads to the opposite side of the table, where Till is seated.
When he gets there, he stops. Stands, unmoving, so he can study Till from above.
“What are you—”
Ivan reaches out, settles his palm across Till’s forehead. As expected, it’s warm. Not quite feverish, which is a good sign, but warm enough to be notable.
“Just how long were you intending to hide this?”
Till stares back at him, wide-eyed. “Hide what?”
Shouldn’t it be obvious? “The fact that you have a cold.”
“I didn’t think it was worth mentioning,” Till says, slowly.
“Hmm.” Ivan drops his hand to his side. He is a little concerned, now. “We could’ve called a rain check.”
This time Till really does roll his eyes. “For the reservation we planned weeks ahead?” he sniffles again. “That just sounds completely and utterly unnecessary. Are you the type of person to call things off just over a little cold?”
Ivan leans over, tugs down the edge of Till’s scarf. Till bats his hand away just a moment too late, cups his other hand over his face to shield his face from view. For a moment, he looks faintly mortified.
Then his expression settles into something more disgruntled. “What are you doing?” he hisses.
So uncooperative. “Let me see,” Ivan says. Slowly, gently, he pries Till’s hands away from his face, and then—because the restaurant is dimly lit—tilts Till’s face up slightly so that it catches more of the overhead light.
Till’s nose is redder than usual. He’s probably been rubbing it all afternoon, if the redness that percolates into his cheeks is any indication. There’s a damp, liquid sheen on the underside of his nose.
“What’s there to see?” Till says, a little crossly.
“Your face, since you’ve been so intent on hiding it under that scarf,” Ivan says, leaning in to get a better look.
Till scowls at him, but there’s no heat to it. “You see my face every day.”
“On the contrary, I don’t see it nearly enough,” Ivan says. “And you hardly ever get sick. Is it so wrong for me to be concerned?”
Without looking, he reaches behind him with one hand to grab a couple cocktail napkins. The other hand he keeps held up to Till’s cheek.
But then, Till’s breath hitches. “Wait,” he says. Panic flashes through his face. “Ivan, move, I—”
Oh. Well, seeing as there’s no way he’ll be able to get the napkins over in time, it looks like he’ll have to improvise. If Till wants to cover, Ivan can help with that. He moves his hand to cup it loosely over Till’s mouth. Not a second too late, it seems. Till jerks forward unceremoniously, his nose twitching, his eyes squeezing shut.
“hHheh-! HHh’EIITShHh’yYiew!” he gasps sharply. Two? “Hh-! hHiiH’DSSCSSHh-IIew!”
The jolt of the sneezes is practically electrifying—all of that force, brought to an abrupt halt behind Ivan’s waiting palm. He feels the expulsion of air against his skin, the warmth of Till’s breath, feels the slight dampness behind his hand as the spray mists over his fingertips.
Ivan swallows, hard. Thank god it’s so dark here, otherwise Till might notice what this is doing to him.
“Bless you,” he says, withdrawing his hand at last to wipe it on one of the cloth napkins. It comes out slightly raspier than he intends it to, though perhaps it’s a miracle that he’s still able to talk at all. “Some cold, hmm?” Belatedly, he hands Till the stack of napkins.
Till practically snatches them from him, turns aside to blow his nose wetly into the top few. The way he sniffles afterwards suggests that his nose is still very much running.
“Do you have no self preservation? It’s as if you want to catch this,” Till says, drawing back with another sniffle.
Oh, Ivan thinks, fighting back a shiver. That would be far from the worst thing.
#sneeze fic#sneeze kink#snz fic#snz kink#my fic#i needed to get this out of my system 😭 i know its unpolished#i thought i was already baring my soul with the ki//ll//er pe//ter fic but this is so much worse#special apology to my dear friends who have been forced to listen to me talk nonstop about al//n//st (you know who you are) (and if you see#this i'm personally sorry 😭) maybe someday i will write something for them that is less unhinged and perhaps more in character#the thought of kink!iva//n just took hold of me and then this fic materialized#still experimenting with different flavors of writing him... balancing my understanding of his character w this specific kink flavor was#an experiment for sure. like how do you balance concern and desire/selfishness?#i couldn't figure it out so just leaned very hard into the latter#also the 1/? is a placeholder; writing this was already testing the limits of my courage LOL#if i sit here i'll write another 200 disclaimers because i'm embarrassed to be posting this so i'll just schedule the post now
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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More misc. daily life pictures and such
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1 & 2 - Very bright pretty looking sky !#2. HUGE icicle that looked like you could kill someone with it or something.. Pulled from near a gutter on the side of a building#3. & 4 & 5 - various images from a silly party I had where I pretended to be some elf king turning like 204 years old lol (also not like#a REAL party. Only my roommates were there really and we're all in the same household bubble.#just to clarify. I would never dare have a large party anyway given#my hermitous nature but on top of that.. didn't want there to be some implication that I'm having a Party while covid is still ongoing lol.#NEVER.. But I do love dressing up as some fantasy character so much.. The only thing that could ever bring a true hermit wizard#to engage with others socially is the prospect of connecting it somehow to fantasy worlds and costumes lol. One must simply dress up#as a silly 200 year old man from time to time and pretend you've never seen a balloon before in your life. etc.#6. bapy boye... feets#7. The main food that I made for the elderly elf man 'party'. which was a Deconstructed Beef Wellington (kind of as ajoke since I watch s#o many silly cooking competition shows and they always make stuff 'deconstructed' at the last minute when under time limits or whatever.)#I've wanted to make beef wellington a few times but Ithink to do it well I'd need like..an actual kitchen and a lot of time and#an oven that fully works to bake things and etc. etc. So I thought this would be an easier method. A thick steak cut round to kind of mimi#c the round tenderloin or whatever it is in a wellington. instead of the puff pastry being wrapped around - I just did star shaped cut outs#of pastry and baked them and put them on top (to go with the star theme). instead of mushroom duxelles being wrapped around in pastry#its in a little circle under the steak. and instead of mustard being brushed onto the meat I made a mustard gravy sauce type of thing#Then of course asparagus on the side.. my favorite... Though I know some wellington#also has a layer of prosciutto I think. or I saw one person use crepes. I didn't feel it was necessary to incorporate that too lol#8. bapy son helping me do a giant puzzle that took me hours and I had no idea it was actually that large of a puzzle#until I started putting it together and for some reason it made me stressed by the end instead of relaxed lol.. puzzle fatigue#photo diary
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I love how “Gregory has PTSD” is an official tag on ao3, but “Vanessa has PTSD” is not…
#Tbf though#none of her tags are really official#at least not enough to warrant the FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS thing at the end#literally if you look up every other character#they are official tags for FNAF#except for Vanessa#which really fucking sucks#also there’s a tag that’s just Vanessa is a jerk and it has more works than good Vanessa or protective Vanessa#so that shows where most people outside of 3 star fam fandom stand with her#they gon be mad when she shows back up a badass and I’m gonna laugh#also in the adopted tag Freddy has 200+ more fics then Vanessa#which I can at least understand since they dont see her as parental (either sibling or unspecified seems to be the general consensus)#but you can like still add it even if it’s just a guardianship ya know?#idk I’m just rambling at this point#I want justice for my fave security guard alright 😭#she didn’t get glitchtrapped and turned into a killer and forced into therapy by her company for yall to say she isn’t traumatized#also Vanessa needs a hug doesn’t have enough fics#yall don’t deserve her /hj 😭#only half bc some of you do treat her well so you’re fine#fnaf rambles#Starr speaks#five nights at Freddy’s
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as long as you don't derez me in the morning
#ive been chipping away at this since January and i will never be happy with it so i need to be just okay with it#this is based on a photo from uhhh dazed magazine from 2006 havent found the name of the model just was knee deep in wires at the time and#it spoke to me#oc tag#angle#2090-1#not the name of any of the characters but a more general tag for the where and when.#don does art#do not fold spindle or mutilate is my cellar door it is my linguistic obsession and also i think punchcard computing is really cool.#for like 60 per cent of this i was also listening to the stan rogers song where he says no ones gonna fold stamp or mutilate me#so many factors#and the caption is from a cover of valley girl about computers that has like 300 views and im 200 of them
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The more I work on my long fic the more work I’m realizing it needs…
Maybe I should just take it down for now and repost it when it’s actually ready
#don't mind me having a moment#the main issue I’m realizing is Hualian#XL is a pov character but there’s no real stake for him in this adventure#so there’s no real conflict or growth for him to be had#but on the other side some of the planned scenes with sqx just won’t work if he’s the pov character#because he’s unconscious for them#and there’s no other character who can really fit the role XL plays#because he’s the one sqx trusts the most#things to think about#maybe I should shift gears to my 3T fic instead because the goals for all 3 are defined there#it’s not something I think about as much when writing oneshots#but character drive and motivation is important#the pov character needs to have a reason for acting#that goes a little further than ‘he’s my friend and I’m concerned’#the fic has some good themes with sqx & the peis#I need to find a parallel for hualian that xl can work on#another theme is disappointment (and that it’s ok) so…..#(hualian being one of those couples who support each other 200% makes them kinda boring to write in this sense)#(I think I might need to embrace the ooc a little >.>
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I've got too many games I want to play and not enough free time 😭 I still need to finish my BG3 playthrough but since Endless Ocean: Luminous came out I've been playing a lot of that instead. Also just got back into Wizard101 last night. Started playing House Flipper again last weekend. Still need to finish BOTW so I can start a TOTK playthrough and finish Pokemon Shield so I can start on Pokemon Violet. I've been fighting off the urge to start up a new Skyrim playthrough for weeks. My brother just told me that Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is getting ported to the Switch. And now I'm suddenly feeling inspired to replay DAI... And throughout all of this I'm also playing the hell out of DragonVale on my phone. Someone just pay me to play video games all day please
#and before anyone suggests it: no i cant try to get into streaming#the way i play video games is extremely frustrating for other people to watch ahdjsksl#no one is going to give me money for producing a video where i spend two hours checking every barrel in the map while juggling my inventory#and then immediately give up on a puzzle and just sit in silence for 30 minutes while i look up a walkthrough instead#i need a situation that pays me $200 a day just to be autistic at the screen alone in the comfort of my own home#rambling#a few years ago i made it a mission to play all of the dragon age games and dlcs in order and i did not complete it#i got all the way to inquisition before i quit#i had already played it on ps3 but i wanted to replay on my new gaming laptop and unfortunately my computer decided it was too complicated#and also i just wanted to play as an elf again and i was resisting that urge bc i played as an elf the first time and wanted something new#so i didnt connect to my character as much#BUT ive learned a lot about optimizing my games from getting bg3 to run on my computer#so i think i could get it to handle dai now. especially if i upgrade to ssd like ive been wanting#and i just saw a dai post on my dash that made me daydream about possible characters and i was struck with inspiration#when i first played through on ps3 i didnt know anything about da lore. it was my first dragon age game#i was just doing whatever i thought seemed coolest#so i basically modeled my inquisitor after my dnd oc and then just picked a vallaslin i thought was pretty#and then when it came time to pick a specialization i was just like 'i mean my hand has rift magic right? seems obvious enough'#but now i know the LORE. and the dalish really interest me. and i want to make an inquisitor thats their own character#i didnt want to replay another elf mage bc i thought it would be too similar#but at the same time i wanted to re-experience dai (and experience trespasser for the first time) now that i knew more about the dalish#(with mods that fix the annoying bits where your character seems to not know about their own religion of course lol...)#i was thinking about that and i just got hit with some inspiration#instead of 'my dnd character but with a cool tattoo and rift magic and they kinda roll with the inquisitor stuff bc idk whats going on'#what if i made a more intentional character with a much different personality and their own backstory#theyre still the first of their clan but i know what that means now so theyre not really into the herald of andraste stuff#theyre a devotee of falon'din with his vallaslin and fittingly choose necromancy specialization (tho theyre annoyed by all the maker talk)#they can look cool and goth and maybe they even make some different choices about the well of sorrows 👀#i could keep rambling but im running out of tags gah#anyways ive got lots of ideas now and i think the playthrough would be unique enough to be worth it
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aHA! i have finally figured out why i never jived with the kanade tenma hc. like you know me. THE found family guy. even if i don’t hc it myself i can still have fun watching other people have fun. but this one was always just 1. confusing and 2. not fun for me to see and i could never articulate why but i’ve got it now
the entire problem with Kanade Tenma is as a whole the fandom has a tendency to treat kanade like an orphan. like she has no family, no support system, like she’s all alone and needs to be taken in by the... tenmas... for some reason... (still not sure why the fandom decided she needs to be a tenma like she’s never even met tsukasa or saki. how is she getting over there. if she’s getting taken in by anybody it should be like... the mochizukis) and it’s like... guys. you do realize she’s not an orphan, right? she has family. she has good family. idr all the reasons why her grandma doesn’t live with her, but i’m assuming it’s along the lines of her being too old and frail to properly take care of a child at this point in her life - which is why she set kanade up with that caretaker/housekeeper system. it’s not perfect, but at least she isn’t being left to fend for herself
her dad is alive. just because he had a stroke and is now experiencing vascular dementia doesn’t mean he’s basically dead or that kanade is basically fatherless or something awful like that. (i’m genuinely still not sure what the fuck the game thinks it wrote irt what put kanade’s dad in the hospital but like. it wrote a stroke followed by vascular dementia. that’s what it did. “burnout” my fucking ass) i know at the end of the day kanade tenma is ultimately just a harmless headcanon, but like... please take a moment to think about the message even your most harmless headcanons might send. “if your parent is suffering from dementia and no longer recognizes you... well you don’t have a parent anymore. you need a new one. sorry.” obviously no one intends to say such a horrible thing, but remember that intent <<<<<<< final impression left on your outside audience.
having a family member that you love so much forget about you is a story that needs to be told. the prsk fandom needs to take a step back and just let this be told As It Is. kanade’s family is so, so fucking important to her. she’s only the person she is today because of her parents and all the gratitude and love she feels for them both. like, literally her most recent focus was her realizing how loved she was in light of mafuyu’s mother’s coldness. she knows that she experienced true unconditional love - something that mafuyu’s mom seems incapable of giving her daughter - and she still carries that love and warmth in her heart now. it’s what defines her as a person. it’s what gives her the courage to continue living. it’s why she believes she can save mafuyu and so many other people. she has that memory of what real genuine honest to god unconditional love is, and she’s so fucking determined to share it with the world.
kanade doesn’t... need a “new” family. her family may have suffered multiple tragedies, and it may be fragmented and a little broken, but... it’s hers. i don’t think it’s in good taste to take that away from her and try to “fix” her by placing her in a “better” family. it’s completely unnecessary.
#also someone on twitter said this i think but on the note of how i feel like making kanade a Tenma of all things is kind of out of the blue#like. the tenmas have nothing to do with kanade. i'm sure she'll meet saki and tsukasa at some point but ??#they aren't significant to her development in any way. and they /won't be/#their stories will just never intersect to that extent. trust me.#and because toya tenma (which is canon and true shut up shut up shut up learn how to READ) is often looped in with this hc too like#he doesn't have anything to do with kanade either!!!!!! she doesn't know who he is!! the tenmas are strangers to her.#so like. when you hc Kanade Tenma it feels like you're doing it for the sake of the OTHER characters and not her.#kanade HAS support systems !! she has people she's close with that she could potentially form a familial bond with!#she has niigo! she has honami! she has her literal grandma!#she has her dad even if he doesn't remember who she is. she's still able to talk to him some days and is able to connect with him by-#reliving the past with him. i can't like... express how powerful that scene where he's talking to her about how his wife is pregnant and-#how excited he is to meet their new child and that they're thinking about naming her kanade is. like it's heartbreaking but like#this kind of family dynamic is frequently glossed over in media. like i said it's a story that needs to be told as it is#learn. to explore kanade's relationship with her father and the relationships the game has spent like 200 episodes building up#stop throwing her into a random stranger's house stop thinking of her as an orphan in need of adoption.
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pretty sure shiny duo gonna win the poll
making designs currently
gem is being difficult
h e l p
(link to poll)
#Amyy talks#shiny duo#need suggestions for the name also#Oh yeah how did so many people vote#I have less than 40 followers#And got over 200 votes#Love you guys who reblogged the poll#amyy polls#mcyt polls#how to character design?
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There's a silly lil duality between my Limbus and my Genshin profiles
Like, on one hand my genshin one is pastel blues. It has cute art. I typically have a kinda goofy catchphrase.
And then on Limbus it's just. Hot anime character. Let's gooooooo!!!! (It's a bit more nuanced than that, I typically will put my main as my profile character but every time I update my profile character they just happen to be covered in blood)
totally not making this post just so I can share my friend codes. nope.
#im not gonna tag the fandoms#if people wanna play games with me then they can be my followers or something#level sixty nine lyney haha get it cuz hes the rizz master /j#but that event shows up every few months and in thaf event you can access every single previous limited character#man i love the limbus gatcha system so much its just... more understanding#you need 200 pulls to get a guarenteed but you can easily get pulls without paying. its so easy to get pulls without paying.#and theres only one reoccurring event that has limited characters#but yeah. limbus is such a good game. i could ramble so much about project moon games.
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