#i miss them and wish i could make more stuff of them but alas

[ambalambs]

Just a big alt screenshot dump cuz why not

[grabby-smitten]

Hybrid!Sylus

Pairing: Sylus Qin x Reader

Word count: 1k+ words

Content: Hybrid AU, fluff mostly, domestic stuff, Headcanon-ish format, no beta and not edited, commas placed everywhere, tried to write it as gender neutral as possible, idk… let me know if i missed anything.

Hybrid!Sylus was part of an illegal fighting ring. So far none could find his hybrid specie. His ears, tails and any other hybrid features were cut off. When fighting, other hybrids could latch onto him so his previous owners made the decision to cut them or so you were informed.

Hybrid!Sylus who was rescued by your team from the illegal fights. All ferals were to be put down but you couldn’t get yourself to do as the higher ups ordered. As soon as you saw him bloodied and chained up in the lowest levels of the building, your heart sank and something deep inside you snapped.

Hybrid!Sylus who saw you first and instantly was struck by your scent. Almost all his life he has only known the smell of blood and grime but when he caught just a sniff, his nostrils flared and his mouth salivated. All He could see, hear and feel was you.

Hybrid!Sylus who began to growl and pull at his chains when you got nearer, but surprisingly you didn’t feel treated. Ordering your team to back away and leave you alone with the supposed feral was your best call. you instantly noticed he relaxed his posture but the animalistic sounds didn’t stop.

Hybrid!Sylus who didn’t let anyone near him or you as you transported him out of that disgusting place. Through the whole process of getting him checked by doctors and staff, you had to be there by his side, otherwise he would snap at every and any person or thing.

Hybrid!Sylus who was going to be sent to an experimental facility but you argued that it wouldn’t work. He had already stablished a connection with you and separating the two of you would threw him even more off balance. After hours of talking and waiting, you got the approval to officially adopt him. Sylus was under your care from then onwards.

Hybrid!Sylus who heard everything that was said about him and saw how much you had pressed for him against everyone’s wishes. Even he thought some of your colleagues had good arguments about why you shouldn’t adopt a feral, but alas, you were a stubborn thing. So here he was in a new home with a curious little female and he was not sure what to do with you.

On your part, you also didn’t know what propelled you to make such a bold decision. Now you watched a giant man— wait no, scratch that… hybrid? Yes, hybrid of an unknown species standing in the middle of your living room. What a disconcerting picture this painted…

Hybrid!Sylus who has been your companion for a few months now. He wasn’t as hard to take care as you thought. He seemed calm most of the time and listened to everything you told him. All the growling and aggressiveness from your first encounter looked like a feverish dream. Well, except when a third person was involved. Like the mailman. Poor delivery drivers suffered too and you couldn’t get Sylus to stop.

“Sylus! Stop!” You scolded him, “the mailman is not a threat!” Wrapping your arms around his waist and trying to pull him back inside was the best you have come up with so far.

“How so, kitten? He knows where you live. That’s threat enough for me,” he told you as his red eyes still followed the delivery truck.

“That’s the whole point of a mail delivery system,” you spoke out of breath.

once the truck was out of sight, Sylus finally let you— key words: let you— drag him back inside or more like he walked back inside with you hanging off of him.

Hybrid!Sylus who seemed suspiciously eager to wear a collar with a tag containing his name, yours and your number.

“I think it suits you,” you walked around him, straining your neck a bit so you could get a good look at the red collar around Sylus’ neck.

“So you like me in a collar?” Sylus deep timbre and alluring eyes made you freeze in place. A small smile adorned his lips at your very clear reaction to his words.

“Why are you making this conversation sound so dirty?” You retorted, a frown began to form on your face.

“I merely spoke a few words, that’s all on you, kitten,” with that stated, Sylus smile grew once he saw your face reddening.

Hybrid!Sylus who hated winter. You began to notice how every time it got colder he moved slower than usual and his intake of water decreased which worried you. Such actions gave you clues as to what species he could be, but nothing concrete.

Hybrid!Sylus who seemed to be suffering alone in his room in the cold months and your heart couldn’t bear the thought of it so you relented and allowed him to sleep with you.

Hybrid!Sylus who tried to hide how eager he was for your offer. He nonchalantly nodded as he heard your words but when it was time for bed he was already buried deep in your bedsheets.

Hybrid!Sylus who instinctively seeked out your body heat for comfort and reassurance that a you were near him in the cold nights.

Hybrid!Sylus who in the middle of the night made you his own body pillow. Morning came and you couldn’t move, a heavy body draped over yours and a pair of arms restricting all your movements. Even your lungs began to struggle.

“Sylus? Baby?” your muffled voice barely above a whisper, “Sylus?” As you increased the volume of your voice, you tried to push him off but all efforts were futile. Sylus was pure muscle.

You just laid there for a while and waited for him to wake up which was interrupted by the sudden pressure of your bladder. Now with a real reason to escape your imprisonment, you began to squirm and wiggle with more intensity in between Sylus’ arms. When out of nowhere, you felt a gravelly and hoarse sound. You stopped all your movements as vibrations that shook you to your core soon joined the haunting sound.

“Did you just growl at me?” You asked in disbelief. A bit startled, it made your stomach churn, your chest filled with a warm sensation that expanded up to your throat and cheeks.

“Sorry,” came quick from Sylus behind you. He released you from his constricted grasp just as fast.

“I thought so,” you huffed and jogged to the bathroom not seeing the longing gaze he directed at you. As if you're miles and miles away, yet you're a few feet from the bed and walking barefoot.

Barefoot, he realized. In an instant, Sylus stood up, picked up your shoes and made a beeline for the bathroom.

“Shoes,” you heard him said from your place in the toilet seat. Looking up, you were about to chide him for coming in without knocking but he continued. “The floor is cold,” and just like that you couldn’t be mad at him anymore.

Hybrid!Sylus whose story with you has just began…

AN: well, well, well. Guess what type of hybrid he is. Alsoooo this is my first fic thingy in like 3 years and I’m testing the waters and I wrote out of desperation. I lost my English and I’m this close to downloading Duolingo just to refresh my brain so I’m sosososososo sorry.

AND IF ANYONE HAS RECS FOR LADS HYBRID FF PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY BECAUSE I CANT FIND MORE AND IM DESPERATE.

[purplelupins]

Sugar Sugar

|The Black Phone|

Part I Part II

Albert Shaw/The Grabber x Fem!reader

Summery:

A couple months after Albert had snapped and finally gotten reader, she left for college…and all seemed to be going so well up until he pays her a visit.

Warnings: stalking, age gap, jealousy, toxic relationship, unclear intentions, unprotected sex, tummy bulge, overstimulation, pantie stealing, kidnapping, little bit of feelings, lowkey voyeurism, creampie, swearing, manipulation.

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE WITH ANY OF MY STUFF

Notes:SURPRISE!! a year later and we have a part two!! This is dedicated to my dearest friend @wayward-persephone. Happy birthday you beautiful, talented soul. This is for you 🤍

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If there was one thing you had learned about Albert Shaw, it was that he didn’t like to share.

It had been a month since you left for College, and Albert hadnt taken the change well. He had grown accustomed to seeing you everyday when he pleased, and he had so very nearly persuaded you to stay...to forget about your dreams and any future career you thought you might have...but he hadn’t quite gotten you.

Not yet.

He had played with your hair as you sat in his lap one afternoon in his office. “Why do you need college anyway? Statistically, most people don’t even use their degrees, honey.”

But you were adamant.

It would have been so easy to just drag you into his van and make you disappear from the world, but

You were his sweet little bunny, and he had engrained that in you so well, perhaps you just didnt realize how much you belonged to him yet, and that was alright, he could wait. he was old, and he knew a thing or two about patience.

Albert pulled into the college parking lot and gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white and his teeth hurt from clenching his jaw so tight. One month.

God he had missed you... needed you. Not that he hadnt seen you of course- he had indeed seen you, you just didnt know he saw you. countless nights of driving for hours just to sit outside your dorm window and watch you sleep. On more than one occasion he had attempted to sneak inside the campus but he had to appreciate the amount of security there- at least he knew that his girl was safe from anyone else trying to sneak in like him. he knew what college life was like; he had been young too. He knew all about how good girls became whores so fast without being under their parents gaze and how young men sought out any warm cunt they could to sow their seed...disgusting the lot of them. But he knew he had trained you well.

dumbed you down just right, and made you reliant on him...knew he was the one who could make you cum, and who would make you feel special. because you were. you were his, and that was very special.

Of course he wished that guard hadn’t stopped him so that he might sneak into your dorm room and slip into your bed to use your sleeping body…but alas he was denied.

It was chillier now, and Albert shrugged his cardigan on over his shirt as he strode across the parking lot.

He knew you werent expecting you, but he also knew you would be in your dorm cleaning until 3:30 that day... some study group you had joined was meeting and he knew he only had so long to see you. But regardless of if you had to go or not...he would see you.

As soon as he opened the door to the building, he swore he could smell you. Perhaps it was just his vivid memory, but as he strode to the reception, he ran his tongue over his teeth and he could even taste you. He could feel his pupils dilate at the very thought of how sweet you were when you came into his mouth. How you grabbed at him and whined and whimpered...

So fucking sweet...like sugar.

Albert asked the guard at the desk which room you were in, and it was easy enough to convince the man he was your father- Al was well aware that your family hadn’t come to see you yet- he had heard you talking to a friend one night on the phone.

Plus, the staff knew his face- he had been the one to move you there after all, not your family.

He smirked at the memory; remembering how he had knocked on your front door and your father had answered and looked so pleased.

Of course, your father knew Albert by that time- your he had come to your work numerous times to check on his baby girl, and Al had so happily greeted the man while you stood there with a blanched face. Your poor father had no idea that Al had just finished filling your young pussy with his cum and that it was now slowly dripping down your thighs under your skirt. He remembered how your father had invited him to your family's summer barbecue, and how elated he had been when Al accepted. His daughter's boss coming to their house? This was a big deal.

So when Albert showed up, van and all to move you two hours away, free of charge, you father had almost exploded with gratitude and pride for you. He had called you to the door and beamed at you- he had no idea what a fantastic impression you had made on your boss...he was so proud of you.

There was something about having your family so obliviously accepting of him that made the devil in him purr. He had loaded up the few things you had decided to take into his van, and watched as you nervously climbed into the passanger side. You had both waved to your weeping parents, but as soon as you were down the block and out of their view, Albert's warm hand was on your thigh, dragging that long skirt up you leg and bunching it around your hips so he could stroke your flesh. You had jumped and tried to push his hand away lest someone see...but he had just laughed and pulled off into a quiet parking lot. He had you in his lap before the engine was off; his hands had been in your hair, pulling you tight against his chest as his tongue licked into your soft mouth. "I’m gonna miss you, bunny." he had rasped, "Gotta make this trip count, right?" The sound of his belt unbuckling had made you shiver in his arms.

His eye twitched at the memory of it.

By the time he had your boxes in your dorm, he had made you cum three times. Albert needed you to remember who you belonged to; he didnt care if you could walk. He wouldn’t let you leave his sight without knowing very well that he could trust you…and in the back of your mind, you were aware of that.

His possessiveness worried you sometimes. You didn’t even feel comfortable going to the movies with a friend, lest he find out and torture you the next time. And Albert always found out. He knew everything; while that was charming and sweet sometimes…it was uncomfortable at times too. Al had immersed himself into your life like an infestation and if you wanted him out, you'd have to burn everything to the ground. Possibly including yourself.

He was everywhere all at once.

Al turned down the hall and found your dorm easily, his breathing came faster and faster as he got closer to your door. The anticipation was making his fingers tingle; he could hear light music playing and he smiled to himself when he recognized it. It was song that had come on the radio one night as he had driven you home from work and he had noticed you swaying to it. He had bought you the record the next day...you were thinking of him...

Of course she is.

The idea of you thinking of him was enough to make him sway on his feet.

Albert knocked on the door four times, and waited.

"One second!" He heard you call, and he felt his pulse jump.

A moment later, you were opening the door, and he watched you freeze.

You stared up at the man you knew so well and felt your eyes go wide. Your pulse quickened and your skin flushed at the sheer sight of him

"Albert." You murmured in shock.

He grinned, his canines showing off nicely.

"Surprise, kiddo." Came that voice that made a shiver chase your vertebras. Albert ate up your appearance and clenched his fists to not grab you right there. Your hair was a mess and your only had on a crewneck you had gotten from the school over your jeans.

Adorable.

"C��mere." He opened his arms and relished in you stepping into them. He felt your arms wrap around his waist, and you buried your face into his thick chest as he in turn buried his face into your hair and breathed in. Albert noted that you smelled a little different, but it was still you. He made a mental note to steal a few panties while he was there since the ones he had snatched before now smelled more of him that you.

“Miss me?" he rumbled, and he felt you nod against his chest.

"Mhm. I- I had no idea you were coming..." you mumbled as you pulled away and he tucked some hair behind your ear.

He watched your eyes go all bright and fluttery as you stared up at him.

"Yeah well...I missed my favourite girl." Albert cupped your cheek and you melted into his touch, but you jumped away when you heard some footsteps coming down the hall.

The action stabbed at Albert’s heart and jealously began to poison his head.

Was she embarassed by me?

The older man looked down the hall, and saw that it was two girls who looked to be around you age; they smiled as they saw you.

"Hey y/n! Didn't know your dad was coming to visit you." One chirped and the other nodded.

Ah.

Albert smirked internally.

You wanted to curl in on yourself. They had no idea this man had made your body do things you didnt even know were possible. You looked at Albert pleadingly and he slowly realized why you were panicking...because if they ever met your father they would question who he was…and that would rouse a plethora of questions.

Perhaps if Al was a better man he would have corrected them and told them that he was just a friend…but Albert Shaw was not a good man. And he was feeling particularly sadistic.

"Yeah, I thought I’d surprise her. Nice to meet you girls." Albert grinned and watched them pass.

They blushed and giggled when they were past and Albert’s face fell.

Whores.

You rubbed a hand over your face and sighed out a laugh.

"Come in." You stood aside, and smiled sheepishly.

Albert shared your smile, albeit more predatory, and passed you; he waited until your door was closed before he grabbed you hand and pulled you to him. At the quickness of his actions, you squeaked, but the sound was covered by his mouth as he kissed you fiercely. The other man’s tongue slipped into your mouth and smoothed against yours. He pushed you up against the door and locked it blindly- need taking over him. His huge hand wove into your hair and held you still- a low groan emitted from him when he felt your soft lips move against his.

His warm breath huffed against your cheeks, and you felt as I’ve he was consuming you through his every touch, let alone his kiss. Albert picked you up and had you wrap your legs around his waist in an effort to have you closer. He needed more. So much more. Albert ground his hardening cock into your crotch, and smirked to himself when you moaned helplessly into his mouth, small hands grabbing at his shoulders and hips moving against his like he taught you to.

"A-Al-" You gasped as he released your mouth and kissed messily down your neck. Goosebumps springing up his lips’s wake.

"I know bunny, I know… I got you.” He rasped, and pulled you away from the door before dumping you down onto your small bed.

The record you had been listening to was still playing, and Albert was everywhere, and your head was getting dizzier, and dizzier by the second. It had been a month since you saw him and while you werent a particularly needy person, he had left a gaping hole in you. He had made you addicted to him; the way he held you and spoke to you and fucked you.

He had you in the palm of his hand. all he needed to do was close his fist.

Albert shucked off his jacket and connected your mouths again; unbuckling his belt, and unzipping your jeans and tugging them down all in a flurry. When the cool air snuck up your bare legs, you shivered again. Albert took notice and pecked your lips once before nuzzling your nose with his.

"Don’t worry, I’ll warm my girl up." He rumbled and you blushed even harder at his insinuation. Albert’s rough hands collected yours in one palm and wrapped his fingers around your wrist, while the other pulled his cock out and ran the tip through your slick folds. The slow drag of the leaking tip made you whimper at the contact after so long of relying on your fingers- just like he had showed you.

Albert tsked you and hummed, "Awe I’m sorry...I know. Its been too long. I’ll take care of you, bunny. just hold still."

You were so soaked that he slipped the head in far too easily, and you choked on your breath. The sudden stretch was painful, and you felt tear prick at your ears as your body adjusted. Albert groaned and dipped his face into your neck as he pushed and pulled until he was fully sheathed inside you. There was a bulge in your tummy when he sat fully inside you, and the sight of it when you look down made you clench unconsciously. You whimpered and your body began rolling your hips, needing him to move. And he was eager to oblige. The older man quickened the slow thrusts, and began hammering into you- all need and possession.

Your body bouched under him as the three his weight into fucking you, each thrust striking your clit steadily. Albert’s hold on you almost tightened in tandem with your body and he revelled in it.

“That’s my girl, look at you…” He purred, his head spinning from your rosy cheeks and heavy eyelids, “…You still fucking blush for me…” he mused as his pace slowed for a moment to enjoy how you went even redder.

You looked away, embarrassed that you were indeed a flushed mess; you bit your lip to stay quiet, but it couldn’t hide you mewling and gasping.

Mine.

Albert could feel himself get closer and he gave into his selfishness and began rutting into you without abandon. There was only the muffled noises of your cries and the smack of his flesh on yours in the small room. He didn’t even try to hide it as people passed by outside, and the depraved side of him was hoping those girls from before would hear them and know what he’s doing to her. He hoped it would make them stay away from his bunny…he didn’t want her surrounded by sluts anyways. And if she was lonely, she was more likely to come home to him.

All mine…my bunny.

He was close. You felt Al throb inside you and his warm breath on your neck as he chased his orgasm. Albert’s thrusts grew sloppy and lost their rhythm, then he pushed forward into you, and you sobbed into his shoulder when you felt the tip of his cock press up against your cervix as he came. The bulge in your tummy grew warmer, and you felt as if you might melt into a puddle. His cum filled you, and some began to leak out past the tight seal of cock.

He growled into your hair, and ground his shaft against your g-spot, eliciting a surprised gasp from you at the intense stimulation.

“You thought I wouldn’t make you cum, bunny?” He smirked, exhausted. “You thought I forgot how to take care of you, hm?”

Your eyes went wide.

“I- I don- “ you couldn’t even keep at thought together when he lifted his shirt for his tummy to grind down onto your clit better, and he rolled his hips against you.

“Christ, you’re all dumb already, hm? I think my girl missed me.” He teased you, grinning wolfishly at your fucked-out form.

You nodded, not caring what he said; you could feel yourself tighten more and mor. You could feel a moan build in your chest. You gently grabbed the back of his neck and tried to bring him down to your lips. He resisted for a moment. “Ah ah, what do we say?” He had you hanging by a threat and he was going to soak up every moment while he could.

You sobbed quietly.

“Please!” You gasped when he ground particularly hard into you.

“Atta girl.” He praised you and dipped his head down to kiss you. You latched onto his lips eagerly and whimpered with need as he continued his ministrations. Albert hummed contently at your desperation for him, then he pulled away after a moment and spoke against your lips, “You’re almost there, cmon…” he encouraged you.

You could barely think after the kiss, and nodded. You felt yourself give in to the scorching heat inside you, and you arched your back as you came. You felt a rush of liquid down your bare thighs as you forced some of Albert’s cum out of you.

“There you go…there’s my girl. Good girl.” He rasped against you, the rumbles in his chest making your even warmer than you were. The older man’s demanding energy never ceased to envelop you- consuming you mind and body like you were his property.

Albert kissed at your neck and slowly eased himself off of you, and watched his cum spill out of you as he pulled out. “Made a mess of my bunny…” he mused under his breath and he pushed his hair back from his face. Then he looked down at you, and he paused.

You were staring up at him so serenely. So fucked out that you probably couldn’t even form a coherent thought or idea.

Mine…

As your breathing finally returned to normal, you slowly eased yourself up from your bed and looked down at your legs where Albert was kneeling and kissing at your thighs. You watched him drag his tongue up a streak of your cum; as if he felt your eyes on his, he looked up at you, and smirked devilishly.

“There’s my pretty girl.” He cooed.

“Hi...” You said shyly, while you squirmed and twitched at his touches- your skin already so sensitive.

Albert placed one last kiss to your thigh then knelt down on the floor to look at you as you sat up. “What do you say if I take you out for a bit?” He rubbed your ankle gently, knowing his touch made your brain melt.

To his pleasure, you nodded with a dazed, shy smile, “Yes please.”

“Alright…let’s get you dressed. Can’t have you catching cold can we?” He stood slowly and winced at the pain in his knees; groaning at his back.

As you righted yourself and came back from the washroom after cleaning the mess between your legs, you saw Albert perched on the edge of your bed, playing with one of your stuffed animals. It was a little childish but they made you feel safe. For a man you knew could be brutal and cunning and possessive, he looked so soft with such an innocent object in his large, calloused hands.

You suddenly wondered if he had any when he was growing up…he had divulged very little about his younger life…but a few details about the cruelty of his father slipped by. You knew he didn’t have it easy…

Your heart stung. Wordlessly, your crossed the room to him, and crawled into his lap, not caring that you were sore. Albert watched you climb onto him, and was about to make a comment, but then you nuzzled your face into his neck, and breathed in, and he kept quiet.

“I missed you, Al…” came your soft voice from his hair.

Something in his chest tugged.

“I know…I missed you too, sweetheart.” He rasped, and pet your hair.

You both sat there for a moment- the carnal need for each other out of your systems for the time being.

“How’s Samson?” You asked as you reluctantly pulled yourself away and tugged on a new pair of panties since the ones you had been wearing were missing all of a sudden.

“Howling for you.” Albert laughed. It was true. Samson knew you gave him the best treats and a month without you might have been even harder on him than on Al.

You nodded, then tried to hide your smile as you reached into one of your storage drawers and pulled out a large bag of treats. Albert barked out a laugh.

She’s incorrigible…

“I hope it’s okay…I found them in a shop here and thought of him.” You fiddled with the seal on the bag and looked down.

Albert shook his head, that signature half smirk pulling at his lips, “You’re too sweet, you know that?” And took the bag from you.

You waved him off and pulled on a skirt, and a new shirt that didn’t have cum on it. “It’ll make me happy to know he’s not howling.”

You tugged your shoes on and Albert wrapped his arms around your waist, “Is he the only one you thought of?” He rumbled, and noted that you instantly relaxed into his embrace.

Such a good girl…

“Al…” you gasped embarrassingly, and squirmed.

“What?” He chucked into your ear, “I thought of you, you know…”

You gasped when he nipped at your neck.

“I- well I just…I’m- you know I thought about you…” you felt him smirk, “And i-if you keep pushing I don’t think we’ll ever leave so…you know- just…” you tried so hard to be assertive and it failed so miserably, but Albert seemed to enjoy it as he kissed your head and was smiling as he came around you.

“Can’t blame an old man for asking.” He kissed your temple and handed you your jacket. “Now how about a milkshake and a slice of pie?” He opened the door, and let you walk out first.

You took a booth at the popular diner in town, and went to sit across from Albert, but he didn’t even give you the chance before he was tugging you into the booth beside him.

He scanned the menu, squinting at the small font, and made up his mind quickly.

You tried to hide your smile.

“Now why don’t you tell me what you’ve been learning so far?” He cooed and leaned his cheek into his hand as he watched you read.

You flushed agin. You were certain you’d never get used to his attention.

“Oh well most classes are just introductory right now…so nothing super interesting just-“

“Hi there folks, my name’s Harper I’ll be your server for today…what can I get for you?” A vibrant server came over to the two of you and you almost jumped when you saw her. You had been so used to being in the little bubble Albert seemed to make around you that someone popping it irked you.

Albert smiled at your startled form then looked up at the young woman. “A piece of cherry pie and a coffee for me, please.” He said. The young woman’s face flushed slightly, and you felt jealously rise in you. That was new…You knew Albert was handsome, and you trusted his claim that you were the apple of his eye, but that didn’t stop you from being a little possessive in your own way. You weren’t the most confident about yourself, knowing there were far more beautiful girls out there that could easily catch Albert’s eye-

“And what would your daughter like?”

The simple question made you freeze and look to Albert for help. You didn’t know what to say or if you should correct her. Evidently, Albert took a sick enjoyment from your discomfort and the perverted thoughts that swam comfortably in his head because of it.

Albert hid his wolfish grin, and covered it with a playful chuckle as he pulled you into him like a father might. “Go on then, kiddo. Dad can’t order for you forever.”

You stared down at your napkin like it might help you, but nothing happened. “J-just a strawberry milkshake please.” You murmured, still not looking up at the perfectly nice young woman.

“Sure thing- I’ll get those things out for you in a jiffy!” She chirped, and walked away with her paper in hand.

You still couldn’t look at Albert, though he seemed to have enjoyed the interaction thoroughly.

“Albert can you please make me disappear like one of your magic tricks?” You whispered, and covered your face with your hands when he laughed.

“C’mon now, sweetheart, it’s just a joke,” he kissed your hair, “You didn’t finish telling me about what you’re up to here.” He coaxed you to finally look up when he eased his hand over your thigh under the hem of your skirt.

“What’s wrong? Hm?” He teased you, and you just stared up at him helplessly as he moved his hand higher and higher until your lips dropped open; he passed the edge of your dampening panties, all the way to your very sensitive clit, and at the contact, you forgot how to breathe.

“Go on.” He prodded you.

Your lips felt dry and when you went to try speaking, you barley formed more than a few very discombobulated sentences.

You didn’t even notice Harper coming back with a smile on her face and tray in hand until Al looked past you and replaced his devilish grin with a pleasant expression.

“Here you are. Now just be careful of the pie it’s a bit hot. Oh, and I took the liberty of adding some cream to it…you strike me as the kind of man who might enjoy that.” She said as she put them down, and placed your milkshake down in front of you.

You might have made a comment to her about being more respectful and not flirt with the man she assumed was your father, but you decided against it. You would feel horrible after if you did, and she was harmless.

“Thank you so much.” Albert pulled you closer into his side and continued his petting of your clit as the young woman walked away.

“You think she knows?” He rasped in your ear, “That my cum is still dripping out of you? You think she knows I’m playing with your little pretty cunt?”

His depraved words made you shift and squirm. You gasped when he stroked over your clit- the friction from your panties over your recovering flesh making you twitch in your seat. “I don’t Um- I- ah!” You tried again, but when Al saw you about to speak he ran a finger down your slit between your puffy lips and your mind went blank.

“There she goes again…just an empty head.” he mused to himself as he watched your eyes glaze over while he toyed with your body right there in front of the half-full diner. He took a bite of his pie and groaned in his throat. “Almost as sweet as your cherry, kiddo.”

You fought with your brain to do your best to maintain your dignity and complete enough sentences to pretend that you were not being petted under the table, and seeing as no police were called, you managed.

Albert skillfully ate his pie and sipped at his coffee with one hand ; feeding you every other bite. A little red filling dropped down from your mouth onto your chin, and he couldn’t resist reaching over to you and swiping it away with his thumb before sucking it into his mouth. “Messy girl.” He hummed before returning to his coffee like nothing had happened.

Meanwhile you sipped mindlessly at your milkshake. You barely tasted it. Not when you were on the edge of another orgasm, which you pathetically fell over when he leaned over to you and kissed just below your ear.

“Come on pretty girl. Show your new town how well you cum for me.” He rasped lowly against your skin.

You bit down on your straw to hide your moan and you gripped his leg with your hand like a vice. Albert groaned deep in his chest when he felt the rush of wetness soaking your panties, and slowly took his hand away before sucking the two fingers into his mouth for a second.

“Such a good girl.” He said, and kissed your temple before giving you the last bite of pie.

The bill was brought to you and you didn’t even have time to glance at it before Albert had put down a $20 and was helping you up out of the booth onto your wobbly legs.

“Have a great afternoon!” The server’s voice called after you as Al lead you away and he sent her a wave of recognition; too busy trying to make sure you didn’t fall flat on your face. Your head felt disconnected from your body.

Albert -ever the gentleman- helped you into the van, and kissed your cheek. He climbed in beside you and pulled out with ease; you were still so boneless you didn’t even notice where you were going. He could have been driving to Canada for all you knew.

A comfortable silence enveloped you until Albert broke it.

“I was thinking, honey…why don’t you come back to Denver? You don’t seem very happy here.” He said, eyes on the road.

You blinked, and sighed; fidgeting with your hands. You had hoped he would have dropped the subject after you had officially left for college, but it seemed he was still focused on it. You hated any kind of confrontation, and sadly, he knew that.

“Well…I just…I know I probably will end up doing something else, but I guess I just want to have some kind of education…and it’s not for long.” You shrugged. It was the same conversation you had had with him months ago.

Albert gripped the wheel tight, “Don’t you miss me?” He asked, though his tone masked his rising temper.

“Of course I miss you…” You looked over at him, “So much.”

The older man pursed his lips and his eye twitched.

“Then what else do you need? Don’t you want to just wake up next to me and not have to torture yourself for years just to learn something you will probably forget?” He pushed, though his tone remained eerily gentle.

You were so focused on his words that you didn’t notice when he began to pull off the road.

It wasn’t until he parked the van that you finally looked around, and your brows scrunched up. “Al…where are we?”

There was a pause as he thought.

“Is there someone else?” He asked lowly, turning his body towards you and skipping over your question.

Your eyes went wide at the ludicrous insinuation. “Someone- No! No one…I don’t even really talk at all to anyone.” You offered honestly.

He sighed and shook his head. “So you’re staying?” His question was practically rhetorical.

“I am. At least for a year…if I hate it I’ll come back.” You nodded and smiled gently to reassure him.

Albert felt his anger start to rise and he turned away from you, running a hand through his hair.

He didn’t want “if”…he wanted you. He wanted you morning, afternoon and night and any other time after.

Albert sighed.

“Now why did you have to do that? Hm?” He turned to you.

You shook your head in confusion.

“A-Albert you’re scaring me…” there was a tremble in your voice and while Al had slowed down in his kidnappings and had truly enjoyed you…he had missed that nervousness. And hearing it in your voice was like a drug to him.

“You’re scared?” He asked. There was a lilt to his voice that you had only heard once before when he caught a spider and found out you were terrified.

Back then it was playful.

Now?…now it unsettled you. It was creepy and unnatural.

“Well…Yea…” you confessed, hands going cold all of a sudden.

There was a beat of silence, then he nodded. “Guess there’s not much use in dragging this out then.”

Everything happened so fast, but what you knew was your head stung, and your world went black and fuzzy.

You were dizzy and your temple throbbed. Your limbs all felt like lead while your neck felt like it was pumped with helium. All you felt was your limp body being moved and something rough tightening around your wrists- a tight, sticky feeling over your lips too.

Albert placed you in the back of his van, and tore a piece of duct tape over your pretty lips and bound your hands and feet. He tsked the blood dripping down your face from your head. “All you had to do was agree with me, bunny…now look at what you made me do.” He tittered.

You squirmed against him weakly as unconsciousness took you, and he chuckled at your fight. “Shh…I know you’re scared…I know you don’t loved me like I love you, bunny… but that’s okay. I did all this to get you…and I’m not going to let you leave now…I have just the place for you.”

You would learn to love him, Albert would make sure of it.

He had managed to trap this precious little bunny in his jaws, and he wasn’t about to just let her go.

Not when she was as sweet as can be.

Just like sugar.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

@dogmatic255 @ethanhoewke @honeycovered-bandaids @dancingisdangerouss @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @theroadreader2 @lxdyred @eth1calcannibal @ebiemidnightlibrarian @katehawke @blep-bloop @ratpackash @al-shaw @darkvoidz @belladonnaaura @pecter-specter @samhainrain @turtle-boris @mandowifey

[sozzledjuja]

Mephisto & Praxina - A Relationship Analysis

Because part of me wishes that the twins' dynamic had been more explored in the show, while Mephisto was still "alive".

There are honestly so many scenes, especially in season 2, where you could feel the main underlying issues between them, but they were never actually adressed or explored.

Also, feel free to add your own thoughts, maybe stuff that I missed, or things you disagree with as well.

Let's start with this scene, from Cute As A Doll, which I'm surprised not more people are talking about:

So, Praxina gets hurt by Auriana's blast, and Mephisto immediately stops his chase for Iris to teleport next to his sister, to make sure she's alright.

Aaaaanddd- she yells at him for caring/worrying, telling him to just go after Iris.

LOOK AT HIS FACE BRO. Homeboy was truly worried, but then immediately gets back in the game.

It's easy to just look at the dismissive and "careless" way in which Praxina treats Mephisto most of the time, and rule her off as "heartless". However, this sentiment seems to also be present when HE tries to "connect" or worries about her.

We see this again in Forget You:

She sees attachments and emotions as a sign of weakness and vulnerability, and clearly doesn't allow herself to feel it and lashes out whenever her brother does.

This refusal to accept love and affection is usually born out of an inherent lack of trust in people. It comes from a place of fear. She seems to prefer to remain impartial and formal as much as possible, regardless of how much her brother (or anyone else, for the matter) wishes to get close to her.

When it comes to other people, I believe she simply doesn't trust that the gestures of affection are real/genuine.

Good!Praxina, in Forget You I believe, was less of a "possibly redeemed" Praxina and more of a "blank page" Praxina, as in, what she would've been like had none of the Gramorr or the other bad stuff happened.

Still, let's not forget that Good!Praxina still clearly had some concerning instincts, so some of her less pleasant characteristics like her destructive behavior, lack of empathy, difficulty accepting affection and praise, and connecting with people, were probably already there since the beggining.

Iris said it herself:

Remember, Good!Praxina still didn't like the idea of helping people when the girls first tried to teach her how to be a good person; Only AFTER being exposed to good influences did she actually begin to redirect her energy torwards "good" goals, and I think this proves that, in a different, more positive enviromnent, she would've definetly turned out differently.

But, alas- she didn't, so here I am, writing this big ass psychological assessment. Which is mostly her fault.

Also Mephisto clearly has some issues of his own when it comes to how his sister treats him (which, let's be honest, while I wouldn't call it abusive, she definetly isn't an easy person to care about).

Also the fact that she seems to think he's incapable of doing anything right definetly bothers him more than he lets on.

It's easy to laugh these moments off but there's definetly something much deeper going on.

Again

And again

And again. and this one was fucked up

And in many other times.

Oh- and the fact that she always blames him for everything. Which is another one of Praxina's biggest flaws: an inability to admit fault or take any sort of accountibility. Aaand shifting the blame.

Which he knows, and this is clearly something that he takes and takes, until he snaps.

This moment in If You Can't Beat Them was also really telling on how he actually feels about how his sister never actually shows any appreciation for his contributions, and seems to think he's weaker and less capable of reason as she is.

I genuinely do not know what goes through Praxina's brain to make her do this. I don't know wether she actually genuinely believes he's stupid and fucks everything up or not.

And Gramorr, although he doesn't outright show much preference for Praxina in spite of Mephisto, seems to share the sentiment, given that he appears to be slightly less patient/harsher towards him than his sister.

What I can say is that Praxina definetly believes that he is the weakest link between them (which might seem like it's true at first glance, but I wouldn't be so sure as to state it), which, given the previous statement, might also be a result of Gramorr himself thinking/saying it, since they've probably been training under his wing for quite a long time, which would make her (and Mephisto) easily influenced by his opinion, as an authority figure.

And he might pretend it doesn't effect him, but we all know that deep down it does, and that he's kinda insecure despite all his bravado.

I think Mephisto's always been more sensitive and more "emotionally-inclined" than his sister, even before Gramorr. I believe that both twins have the potential to be good, but Mephisto is definetly more "hardwired" for it than Praxina.

And we already know what she thinks about that: emotion=weakness.

And part of her wants to keep reminding him she's better too. The girl's got a big ego to stroke.

Mephisto also seems to have more morals than his sister.

We can see that throughout the show he's helped the princesses sometimes: Iris, with whom he teamed up with to save his sister in If You Can't Beat Them, in which he even told her he'd be honored to serve her as queen of Ephidea, had circunstances been different, which I truly believe he meant;

And Carissa, in Statue Game, who he ALSO teamed up with to save his sister, and who, let's not forget, he gave the other evil amulet back to, so that the princesses could reverse the spell that turned that human girl into stone.

And when Gramorr got the last gem, Mephisto seemed to actually be horrified by what was happenning.

He clearly wasn't totally fine with enslaving the entire planet.

Praxina, on the other hand, seemed pretty okay with it.

Ecstatic even.

She's relishing in what's happening, that's what she wants. To bend other to her will, to be feared rather than loved, to have power over others.

Maybe not what she needs, but what she WANTS.

Mephisto realizing that is GOLD from a storytelling prespective.

I feel like he looked at her in hopes she'd be as concerned as he was, that they were on the same page about the situation, only to find her- well, laughing. I joked about this being his "oh shit, these people are actually evil" moment, but I think part of him was only surprised with Praxina. Maybe he hadn't realized just how far this "lifestyle" had actually shaped his sister.

We know for sure that Mephisto has higher levels of empathy than Praxina. And common sense. This is why I always disagree when people say that Praxina is smarter than Mephisto. She might be more "logical" and "rational", but neither of those things equate to cleverness. Mephisto seems to be more astute and more intuitive.

Him starting to realize Gramorr was probably not gonna give them shit is a great example of this.

Which Praxina did NOT even think about. She was on a high, thinking about all the power they were gonna have now that Gramorr was free and back in action. Miss girl, you are delusional.

Honestly Praxina's fatal flaws deserve their own separate post.

Because let's be clear: I'm trying to debunk all of the twin's relationship issues, and everytime, it's clear who's actually responsible for everything going badly in the emotional realm.

I love her but she IS the problem. Not saying Mephisto is a poor innocent baby who never did anything wrong his whole life (I'm looking at you, lolirock fandom). He definetly has a lot of flaws and bad traits himself, but he's not the one to blame for anything regarding his and his sister's relationship.

To conclude,

THIS is normal sibling behaviour.

All the rest I showed above this SHOULD. NOT. BE.

This is not me saying they have a bad relationship, but I am saying that they don't have a fantastic one either.

Also, I blame dark magic too. The Team has confirmed it makes them more irritable, so there's that too.

They really care about each other, and I don't doubt that BOTH of them would do anything to keep the other safe. But they got lots of unspoken stuff to talk about.

And are both in desperate need of therapy

[ilovepinof]

HI! I’m currently making a Dnp Youtube playlist so I can fully introduce them to my mother (since shes going to TIT with me). Do you have any favorites/recommendations??

I’m adding more post hiatus vids since thats the energy we’re mostly getting on tour, but i’ll take anything :]

A silly bonus: The other day I gave her a short rundown of the timeline, and she pauses me and goes “Oh they live together?”, and I said yes expecting her to inquire further but she just went “Very nice.” 😭😭😭 so either shes completely clueless on the dynamic or understood it immediately, but I found that funny.

(I literally saw a big post about this yesterday I wish I could find it but alas I will try to give my best suggestions)

This post can be useful for anyone who has friends/family going to TIT with them that may not know much about Dan and Phil!

This post could also be useful to share with any friends who want to get into Dan and Phil

Feel free to pick and choose, you obviously don't have to watch every single one of these with your TIT buddy.

Category 1: Dan and Phil Lore - There are a few current videos that can give insight into past&present Dan and Phil lore without having to go super duper in-depth with her about everything.

Dan and Phil React to Every Phil is not on fire! #1 - I feel like anyone whos seeing TIT should be aware of Pinof lore but maybe thats just me because...I mean look at my username. I think watching PINOF react #1 is good enough because its the core trilogy and explains their origins well

Are Dan and Phil Connected? - I'd describe this video as taking a ton of shots of Dan and Phil lore rapidly at once, though she wouldn't understand everything she could at least begin to know stuff!

Both Pizza Mukbangs!! Here is mukbang 1 & here is mukbang 2. I feel like these two videos really encompass a lot of what Dan and Phil have gone through in the last few years and lay a good foundation of the tour.

Halloween Baking - SLIME AND SADDNESS CINNAMON ROLLS - Dan and Phil baking is a core part of Dan and Phil content and cannot be missed. This one doubles as a fun activity! You can bake and watch Dan and Phil together! Me and my (non phannie) partner did this and it was so much fun.

Any WDAPTEO - Heres a link to the most recent one

One final option in this category would be either of the dnp react to phan twt videos because it would explain the fans more but I don't feel as if this is necessary.

Category 2: Dan vs Phil - I feel like Dan vs Phil really shows a lot about their individual characters and dynamics. I'd start her off with these videos to get her into the world of Dan and Phil a little. Here are the ones I suggest.

Dan vs Phil IS BACK! Switch Sports

Is Dan smarter than Phil?

Dan vs Phil - FALL GUYS!

PARTIAL KITCHEN REVEAL SHUFFLEBOARD SHOWDOWN!

Category 3: Misc - Videos that I could not fill a full category for but I think would still be good.

This game ended our friendship - Bread and Fred - In a similar way that I feel like Dan vs Phil shows their dynamics well, I think it's important to also show the chaos of their team work. This one was one of my favs I rewatched it so much.

Who is the liar? Dan Phil or Pj - Whats a better way to get to know someone than Dan and Phil with one of their good friends? I highly suggest any Dan Phil Pj Soph video!!

GOLF WITH SLITS - Dan and Phil Play: Golf with Friends #9 - An iconic channel series.

Category 4: (some of) ILOVEPINOF's fav comeback videos - These videos were just my personal favorites. Think of this list as kind of "extra things you could watch" because they're all reallly good videos in my opinion.

Dan and Phil's raging Trombones

Trunk Dexting with Pan and Dhil

Dan and Phil Dress Each Other

Forcing Dan to Watch MORE Tiktok Likes

THE BACHELOR PARTY - Dan and Phil play The Sims 4: Season 2 #5

[onthewaytosomewhere]

putting this up now cuz i suppose i have stuff i need to get done and if i don't now it'll end up like sunday where the day is done and i lose all desire to post anything lolz

so i thought i was gonna hafta steal @kiwiana-writes open tag but guess what happens when you open one of these things and don't finish it - others get around to doing it - so i have tags - yay!! - thanks ever so much @jmagnabo92 @caterpills @fullerthanskippy & @cha-melodius for the tags this morning

so the were/vamp coffee shop au that is my @ficwip dark & cozy fic took an interesting turn last night and then i realized i was probably setting it up all along without realizing when i read a few past bits and ... yeah guess we get soulmates here too ... this snip is not that tho cuz it's still very work in progress-y lolz

so have a little bj-interruptus lolz

In the meantime, he has a few things to drop off for Pez from Raf, who he saw earlier. He walks through the backdoor of the club to find Liam pressed against the wall by Pez, who seems to be very much enjoying the way Liam’s cock is sliding in and out of his mouth as his head bobs. Alex yelps involuntarily and turns back to the door he came in through but stops when he hears Pez’s mouth ‘pop’ as he pulls off. Liam huffs and Alex keeps his back to them, really not needing to get an eyeful of his friend. This isn’t the first time he’s walked in on them in a similar position; he wishes he could say it was only the second—Alas, that is not the case. He’s walked in on them so many times lately he’s actually surprised he didn’t find out they were a thing before, but figures that’s due to Liam having been out of town. His enhanced hearing tells him that clothes have been put back in place and Pez has stood back up, so he turns back around to see Liam, still leaning against the wall, looking entirely too serene for someone who was just interrupted in the midst of what looked like an amazing blowjob. Pez is leaning against him and greets Alex, “Alexander, what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Percy makes his name sound even more posh than usual, and Alex rolls his eyes. Pez is the only person who calls him Alexander, and ever since he told him how incredibly posh it sounds coming out of his mouth, he seems to have taken it as a challenge to make it sound even more so. Alex takes the file from his bag and hands it over, “I had to stop and see Raf today, and he asked me to drop this to you.”

(no-pressure) tag ur it! @adreamareads @anincompletelist @bitbybitwrites @blueeyedgrlwrites @cricketnationrise

@dragonflylady77 @duchessdepolignaca03 @england-would-fall @firenati0n @firstsprinces

@forever-fixating @getmehighonmagic @henryspearl @heysweetheart-writes @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

@inell @inexplicablymine @itsmaybitheway @jellibuns @littlemisskittentoes

@lizzie-bennetdarcy @mikibwrites @nocoastposts @piratefalls @priincebutt

@softboynick @sophie1973 @sparklepocalypse @stellarmeadow @suseagull04

@tailsbeth-writes @taste-thewaste @thedramasummer @theprinceandagcd @thesleepyskipper

@thinkof-england @tinyarmedtrex @typicalopposite @everwitch-magiks @myheartalivewrites

@emmalostinwonderland @basil-bird @sheepywritesfics @doublecheekedkinard

@bigassbowlingballhead @exhuastedpigeon @captainjunglegym

oh and a BIG OLD OPEN TAG FOR ANYONE I MAY HAVE MISSED THAT WANTS TO JOIN IN

[thetreestumptherapist]

🎵YOU CAN'T TAKE THE SKY FROM ME!

So, I finished Firefly the other day and am just now getting to posting about it. I had started a draft while I was on like episode 8, but never got to publishing it.

My thoughts on and related to Firefly:

NATHAN FILLION

So, this is the show the internet is mad about. WELL, ME TOO!

Theme song ingrained in my brain within 3 episodes. Like, I felt like I knew it from a past life and couldn't remember the words but I knew it with my soul, type of ingrained. I studied the theme hard so I could sing along with it during the short time I watched the show.

(At episode 6) I like this show. Mentally I know this show is short. Emotionally I am just now getting deeply invested and setting myself up for heartbreak.

I need to go back and watch all the other Nathan Fillion things I have watched and look for all the references to Firefly that I missed.

(On the last episode and after the show) Gorram you Fox! Even Swiper has more decency than you!

In examining my own preferences of steampunky themes and apparently cop shows (Can't wait for Rookie season 7), I now need a steampunk cop show.

Having watched Warehouse 13 and The Librarians directly before watching Firefly, and seeing how well Fillion plays the aloof, loyal, caring, can't-keep-his-hands-off-the-really-cool/shiny-and-probably-dangerous-artifact type characters, I now need an Indiana Jones type adventure, but with Nathan Fillion. Infinite bonus if it has Alan Tudyk, Gina Torres, Adam Baldwyn, Jewel Staite, and Morena Baccarin starring in it. I would also love if Sean Maher, and especially Summer Glau could also come back. I really want to see Summer in a not mentally ill role, but she mostly does bit parts in stuff that I am not really interested in.

Individual thoughts *SPOILERS*:

Jayne needs to start thinking with his brain, and not the thing between his legs.

I absolutely LOVE when Mal threatens Jayne after he tried to sell River to the Fed's. "You turn on any of my crew, you turn on me" and "Next time you stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face" are beautiful quotes that I will be making a part of my personality despite not having a ship, crew, or having been stabbed in the back

It's interesting to see what aspects of Fillion's personality go with him from character to character. From Mal, to Castle, Cayde-6, and John Nolan. They all care deeply about their crew even if they aren't really good with showing affection, and I can tell that Nathan cares about his people too.

I haven't watched the movie yet. I have it, I just haven't watched it. I've also heard bad things about it. But, I plan to watch it anyway. If it ends poorly I will absolutely be making a headcanon.

I wish so bad that it had lasted longer, but alas, 14 fantabulous episodes, a movie, and our imaginations is all that we have.

Also, does anyone know of any good Firefly fanfics? I would love to read them.

[veemunson86]

I see you everywhere

Pt 3, love of my life.

Series masterlist

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

it was Steve's idea, to write a letter to Eddie and burn it. you thought it was cheesy but decided to give it a shot. the heavy weight your heart felt for him ached more and more every day which was causing unwanted stress. going  into the 8th month of your pregnancy began to become unbarable without him. all you wanted was to feel him holding you late at night, but he couldn't, and that alone was a crushing feeling. at first you thought it was a horrible idea, but when you were missing him extra one day, you finally found the right words.

" my dearest eddie, today marks almost 8 months since you left me. it still hasn't gotten any easier. everyone says it gets better, but when? i miss you like crazy. i still wear your ring, but its too big for my hand so i have it on a chain i swear around my neck. i wonder what our wedding would have been like. i wonder how you would have raised our beautiful baby girl, would you have played her music to help her sleep? everywhere i go, its like you're here with me. i see you everywhere around the house that would have been ours. i wake up to what would have been the side of your bed, and its like sometimes i envision youre laying next to me... your hair a big frizzy mess. i find myself doing that a lot, thinking youre here with me, that maybe, just maybe you'll come back to me. but you wont, and that's when i snap back into reality. you're gone. its still hard to say out loud. our baby is growing so fast. she has a strong heartbeat. i remember when i would lay my head  on your chest when we would be on the couch, or laying in bed. it was my favorite thing to listen to. that day when i held you, i felt your heart slowly give out, and a part of mine died with you that day. everyone here says ive changed, and the truth is i have. the y/n i was died when you did, now I'm just the shell of the girl i once was. the shell of a girl who lost the one person she truly loved. but i wanna change, that's why in writing this. i wanna change for our girl. i wanna be the best version of myself i can, for her. it scares my thinking about having to do this alone, but i know I'm not alone. i have the kids, and steve, nancy and robin to help. they go with me to every appointment. i know she is gonna be so loved by them, and that makes me happy. i decided on a name. remember when we talked about a family of our own one day? we wrote down names that we would want for our kids. i found that notebook when i moved your stuff in here. our house. just like we wanted. 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom. big backyard, with a small swimming pool. it wasn't easy, but i had help. my parents and your uncle helped me until i could get up on my feet. i moved your stuff here, part of my thinks youre gonna show up one day. our bedroom is perfect. we both have a nightstand, i have pictures of us together o your side. i know it all sounds stupid, but its comforting. i have a few of your shirts in the closet, they still smell like you. i always loved that smell, like cinnamon and weed. it makes it feel like youre still here. i open up our closet and that's the first thing i smell, it smells like home. like you. i picked our girls name, i decided on Amelia. shes gonna have your last name. i set up her nursery with the help of steve, dustin, and max. her little room is adorable. i have a light pink crib, and above it there is her name smelled out in wooden letters. there is little ducks on the wallpaper, as when i went through my first nesting phase i didnt know the gender yet. there is a fuzzy white rug right by her crib, and a rocking chair so i can feed her in there. i wish you could be here to see it, but alas, youre not. so i guess this is my final goodbye to you. steve said writing this and burning it would give me piece of mind, and i think hes right. so goodbye my love, i will love you forever, please watch over me and our baby. i love you."

and with that, you folded the paper in half, throwing it in the fireplace, watching as it slowly turned to ash.

Tags:

[arclundarchivist]

Spoilers C3E95

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Well that ended much more interestingly than I expected it to!

And I thought the biggest change going into next week was gonna be new art.

But nah we got the Wildmother comforting Orym, Dorian and Orym sharing a very intimate moment, Ashton finally learning about the Luxon, and all the trust FCG helped create within the party shattering like glass because Laudna can’t say no to her murderer and gaslighter.

That was one of the best episodes they’ve done in a while.

THIS, well at least some of it, was what I was hoping for after they lost FCG.

But Laudna seemed so close to realizing she doesn’t actually need Delilah. “We aren’t what our creators made us to be.”

You’re not just her attack dog, hunting prey for her to eat! You have a life, and a love and your losing her, bit by bit.

I love you but I don’t know what to do with it is not far of from I love you and I wish I didn’t and that has to sting.

And you could see it, she looked around at the party all staring at her and this realization that no one in that moment was on her side by the end.

And Dorian raised the best point of all It’s just a Thing. You could pick up a well made blade of any kind in this world and it would carry a similar legacy, maybe shown through a different looking glass but it is still made for killing. The intent of the wielder is what is important.

And I get Laudna’s anger, but she is not being honest with them or herself, and Dorian hit it on the head again.

She doesn’t trust them. For one reason or another, she believes in Delilah, more than she believes in the people that fought the bitch to bring her back.

And that is dark and fucked, and definitely has me worried for what could transpire at Aeor and further down the line.

Especially with her….. similarities to Ludinus and this present motif of Hunger that Matt has been throwing around this and last campaign.

Background stuff:

Desirat being free, bad

Her heading north, far worse.

Labenda is a Lake now?? And has been “reclaimed” by the Merton/Merfolk, which makes me believe the Empire… did what Empire’s do.

The meteor might be affecting the Cyrengreen again, which is near Deastok.

Undead in Druvenlode, and a “smiling shadowy fiendish” presence in Rexxentrum, which I want to point out, Oban, was a smirking ass Devil who invaded Rexxentrum and had a bad death.

And that’s only the shit that’s going wrong in the Empire, what the fuck is happening along the Coast and in the Dynasty.

Fuck Matt said something about the Turst Fields being consumed, win or lose there is going to be a very different Exandria when this is over, and I can’t imagine all this shit gets better if divine magic, ergo most accessible healing, goes the ghost with the Gods.

Edit: I genuinely miss Dark-Dryad Launda. I had hope for a patron switch, and I thought the Sun Tree or the Shadow Snake thing that might have been the source of her Sorcerer bloodline were gonna come into play but alas we are not on that path. Sun Tree Laudna would have been cool.

[yourmomsgranddad]

— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

— CHAPTER ONE: No rules in unbreakable heaven

— SUMMARY: You and Kate are best friends and you think nothing can tear you apart. Until something does.

— WARNINGS: kind of short but future chapters will be longer

"Kate?"

"Yes, Y/n?"

"Can you promise me something?"

You and Kate were laying on your roof, just staring at the stars. This was the last day of summer before the two of you entered high school. And you both were scared out of your mind.

You didn't know what was going to happen to you.

"Anything."

"Can you promise me that we'll always be friends? Even when we're old and wrinkly and forgetful?"

Kate left a little bit of silence, just causing your unease to flutter around your brain. "Of course. We're going to be best friends forever. And then we're going to have matching tombstones."

It was a nice thought. It was a beautiful thought, you figured nothing could break you two apart. You were best friends and you would always be best friends.

But let's back up.

A few months prior.

Summer had just started and you both were ecstatic. This was the last summer of the two of you being kids and you were going to make the most of it.

Do all the kiddy things you wouldn't be able to do high school.

Go crazy in a Chuck E Cheese. Stay up till the sun comes up watching cartoons. Play every video game known to man.

It was one of the best summers of your life.

Turns out, it was your last summer with Kate. However, neither of you knew it. You were just enjoying each other. A little too much.

It was late at night and you ran out of things to watch.

Right now, you were staring confusedly at Game of Thrones. You didn't know how it got on the tv but you didn't feel like turning it off. "Is he kissing his sister?" Kate wondered as her face scrunched in disgust.

"I believe so."

"Ulch!" She spoke as you just groaned. You didn't know what to say. This show didn't make any sense to you whatsoever.

But you knew you were having fun with your best friend, just being in her company.

You barely remember what happened that night.

But there was one thing you did remember about the night and it was going to be in your brain no matter what.

That was the night you and your best friend, Kate had your very first kiss.

But everything after that was kind of a blur, to Kate anyways. You knew everything. But you weren't in the place to tell.

You weren't in Kate's place at all.

Years after high school, Kate moved out of her old house and moved right into an apartment in New York, starting a life out there for herself.

And she was enjoying herself.

Living in her rinky-dink apartment, eating the worse food you can come by. It was the best and she wouldn't trade it for anything.

Something did always itch at the back of her brain.

It would be so much better if she was sharing it with you.

How much warmer the couch would feel if you were sitting there. How much more homier her place would feel if your stuff was filling every space.

But alas, the place was empty and rustic. No you in sight. Sometimes she wanted to enjoy to its fullest content but then realized. She wouldn't be truly happy until you were by her side once again.

She wished she wasn't so obsessed.

She hadn't seen you in years yet here she was, still thinking about you everyday. She needed to shake these thoughts.

So she got out of her blanket and decided to do something to get her head completely away from you.

Crying at the gym.

She wasn't a gym rat, she could only go so often. Every other week and then she can't do it for a few months. Then repeat. Especially if she does end of crying in there, can't let them see her fall.

But for some reason, when you got on the stair machine, she didn't feel like crying, she felt empowered.

Sure, she missed you but if it was meant to be, you would come back, she kept telling herself. And thankfully enough, she kept it in and got home, no tears needed.

And in less than 2 seconds, she was back in her old spot, eating her nasty food, watching her worse tv. It was a nice feeling.

At least it was, until her mom basically broke her door down.

"Mom!"

"Sorry Katie, you weren't answering your phone! I was trying to get a hold of you." Kate's brows furrowed, her mom looked majorly worried.

"Mom? What happened? Did someone die?"

She momentarily paused, Kate was even more worried. "Someone died?!" She shouted, rushing to her mom's side. "No! Everyone's fine. But something else occurred that I figured you should know."

She shrugged, she didn't know what her mom could tell her that had her breaking doors.

"Y/n is visiting New York. You're going to see her again."

Kate's eyes went wide and if she didn't cry before, she definitely was going to cry now.

Oh shit.

[spideycatt]

Pretty n' Pink || 42!M.M x BlackFem!Reader

Synopsis:

New school, new people, new relationships

Word Count: 1.8k (wow!)

Song Recs: Talk that Talk // TWICE, RUN2U // stayc, Big flirt // lil hero, Super Bass // Nicki Minaj, Into you // Ariana Grande

Warnings: Crude language, bullying (me projecting (≧◡≦)), Miles is an asshole for 1 second, BLACK reader, 80% angst 20% fluff

Not rlly warnings: Reader is small n chubby, making out, we’re gonna act like they don’t have to wear blazers all the time lol

Lmk if I missed something!!

A/N: I spent so long writing and editing it was insane. I've been writing since June 26 (*￣▽￣). Literally writing one day, rewriting the next, writing and rewriting, writing and rewriting. AND I'm still not sure if I'm fucking w/ the results... but I'ma still post it cuz mama aint raise no punk!!

Moving to a new school in the middle of the year is never easy for anyone. You cried while packing up, you cried on the ride to New York, you cried while unpacking, and cried on the way to your new school, Visions Academy. Saying you were scared was an understatement.. You only moved because your mom got a new job at some science place, but also because you were horribly bullied at your old school.

Everyone made fun of you for the way you dressed, pink hair-clips all over your colorful braids, hello kitty sweaters and fun makeup looks. You once wore some cute leg warmers to school, what happened to you that day made you vow to never wear them again.

You knew you wouldn't get made fun of every time you left the house, but man going to school made you want to cower in your house forever.

But alas, here you are putting your up hair with your favorite heart-shaped claw-clip. You sniffled lightly as you line your lips and put on your Fenty lip gloss. You wipe your tears away, careful not to mess up your lashes. Grabbing your light pink messenger bag, you sling it over your shoulder and walk out the front door, making your way to school.

The more you walk the faster your heart beats. You weren't as nervous as you were when you first moved here, but you were still feeling a little anxious as you walk onto school grounds. Sighing when you realize there was no time to set up your locker, you try to hype yourself up as make your way through the sea of students to get to your homeroom.

Luckily, the school required uniforms, so even if kids were to make fun of you it shouldn't be that bad. You only had some cute accessories here and there, and a white cardigan with hello kitty over your heart.

You weren't even halfway to the class when someone bumped into your shoulder, causing you to drop all the books you held in your hands. You take a deep breath looking at whoever this boy was, trying to calm yourself down.

'It's ok, it was probably just an accident. You're fine.'

"Watch it, pinkie pie!" He yelled behind him as he walked away, laughing with his goons following behind him. So much for an accident.

'"Wow, how original." You spoke to yourself, trying to ignore all the stares you were getting as you picked your stuff up.

You rush to your class, already wishing the school day was over. And just your luck, the bell rang signaling you were late.

You made it to class a few seconds later, drawing everyone's attention to you. You walk over to the teacher's desk with your head pointed down, speaking softly.

"Hi, I'm y/n I just transferred."

The teacher looked at you uninterestedly, before speaking loudly.

"Class, this is y/n from, Georgia? Was it? Doesn't matter, she needs time to adjust, so everyone be nice to the poor girl. You can go sit next to..." She trailed off, looking around for a place to seat you.

"Sit next to Miles. Miles raise your hand."

You looked up to see a boy with two long braids raise his hand in the back of the class, honestly looking quite bored. You nod as you scurry to the empty seat next to him, taking out a piece of paper and your favorite gel pen. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Miles staring at you.

"What?" You whisper at him, trying not to draw more attention to yourself.

He blinks at you. "You the girl who dropped her books earlier?"

"Does it happen a lot or something?" You scoff at him, drawing cute little doodles to match the lesson title.

"Nah, I guess that was a dumb question." He replied, looking forward.

"Why do you ask anyway? Trying to rub salt in the wound?" You argue, looking at your hello kitty-themed nails.

"Miles, y/n. Please." Your teacher interrupted, making the class snicker.

You hide your face in your hands, silently groaning before Miles slid a note your way.

'Sit with me at lunch?'

You glared at the paper, crumbling at and putting it to the side, giving your full attention to the lesson.

You made it through your first few weeks without any more bumps, and it was now a new month. Miles had become your only sorta-friend at this school, which you were grateful for. The boy was nice to you, unlike everyone else, who give you strange stares and whisper about you like you aren't there.

The calming melody of Apple Cider by Beabadoobee played softly in your headphones as you grab your lunch tray. Thanking the lunch lady before turning around to look for where you should sit today, you suddenly remember Miles had asked you to sit with him on your first day, in which you never did.

You start walking around, subtly looking around the cafeteria for the tall boy with long braids. You spot him quickly, watching him roll his eyes at something the boy in front of him said. Strolling to where he was, you bite back a smile when he turns around and notices you.

"What brings you over here, hm?." He smirked, standing up as you approach the table. You try to ignore how he towers over you.

"Well, I have nowhere else to sit." You shrug, looking at his friends who watch quietly. "Uh, hi.." You wave awkwardly, looking back up at Miles who smirked softly at you.

"You shy, chiquita?"

"Shut up."

His friends laugh, making you swallow thickly. 'Are they laughing at me?'

"Yo, pinkie!"

Someone shouted from the table, chuckling as you look up with fear in your eyes.

"Remember me you little cunt?"

It was the boy from your first day. You look up at Miles, silently pleading him to help you, and of course, he stayed quiet.

"Hey, I'm talking to you." You hear from beside Miles, the boy looked down at you with an angry expression. You didn't even realize he walked up to you.

"S-sorry." You whispered, looking at your pink converses.

"Yea you better be fucking sorry you fat freak." He said, pushing you into the ground, resulting in your lunch landing all over the floor. You try to stop the tears as everyone gasps and goes silent.

"Dude, chill." Miles finally speaks up.

You shake your head, "No Miles, it's fine. Have a good lunch." You say with a slight whimper to your voice, standing up to leave the cafeteria.

You sob, looking for somewhere to cool down, ignoring Miles calling your name.

"Pinkie! Wait!"

You steps falter, flinching at the nickname. You sigh deeply, wiping the tears off your face.

"What do you want, Miles."

"I'm sorry about him, he's been an asshole since like, 2nd grade." He huffed out, slowing down as he caught up to you.

You hummed.

"But you just sat there, so what does that make you?"

His silence answered for you.

"Right. This sucks, honestly, I thought we could've worked out." You say, walking off with a lump in your throat.

You kind of expected him to say something more, you don't know why, but you did. But all you were met with was silence.

You gasped as you feel Miles grab your hand and drag you into an empty classroom.

He closed the door harshly behind you guys, breathing heavy as he looked at your tear streaked face.

"What are you doing Miles— WOAh-" You stutter out as he hoists you up, putting your back against the door so you could be eye-level with him.

"Forgive me pretty girl.." He breathed out, rubbing your plush thighs with his thumbs.

"Miles, put me down."

"Nah ma I don't think I will."

"How... how do I know you won't hurt me..?" You whisper sadly, feeling the waterworks coming again.

"Trust me, I won't, baby." He moved to wipe away the tear that's fallen on your soft cheek, before moving in to lock lips with you.

You wanted to move away, you really did. But you trusted him for some reason, kissing back. The kiss got heated fast, you lock your legs together behind Miles as he pins you harder against the door, gripping your thighs harshly as he pulls away to speak.

"Let me treat you right, ma. Please. I'll take you out, I'll buy you anything you want. Let me protect you." He breathed out against your neck, making you sigh. You nod your head. Bringing his head up to connect lips again.

You sigh into his mouth as your tongues slide over one another, gripping onto his broad shoulders to keep yourself grounded. He turns around to place you on a desk. Hands roaming everywhere as he took your sweater off your body and unbutton your shirt a little to mouth at your collarbones. You let out a quiet noise as he moves back up to your lips, pushing you to lay on your back.

He caught both your wrists and wrapped one of his hands around them, pushing them onto your chest as his tongue seemed to move even deeper into your mouth. Man he was a good kisser.

You seperate with a string of saliva connecting your plump lips to his when the bell to go back to class rings. "Miles, lets go." You said as he places his head into your cleavage, sighing disappointedly at the fact that you guys had to go back to class.

He ended up buttoning up your shirt for you. Glancing at you every now and then to look at your swollen lips, smiling as he helped you off the desk and walked you to class.

You make it through the rest of the school day, smiling softly to yourself whenever you think of your heated moment with Miles.

You had Miles' hoodie on due to a giant stain on the side of your favorite sweater, playing with the strings as you write down some notes into your binder.

Everyone stared at you but you found yourself not caring anymore. Maybe you made the right choice.

You didn't expect to go to this new school and acquire a bodyguard for a boyfriend but here you were weeks later walking out of campus with Miles trailing behind you. You could've sworn you saw that one boy glaring at you from afar, but honestly, as long as Miles was with you there wasn't a problem.

"Hold on baby." Your boyfriend stopped you, kneeling on the ground to tie your shoelaces and fix your leg warmers. Honestly this was a whole new experience for you, never having this affection given to you by someone outside your family.

Miles pressed a kiss on your thigh as he finishes tying your shoes, standing up to fix the ribbon on your ponytail.

"Miles, you're acting like a mom right now." You say giggling, looking up at your boyfriend with heart eyes.

"Gotta make sure my baby lookin good." He replied quickly, leaning down to kiss your cheek. He pulled "C'mon, I saw a nice jean skirt I wanna see you in."

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #171

Today did not go exactly like I expected it to. And that's all right. I'm just really tired.

I went to physical therapy early this morning. Some work was done on the muscles on my back between the right side of my ribcage and the right side of my pelvis. Those muscles were unexpectedly very angry, but I guess I should have expected it, since those muscles are attached to my ribcage, and something near the top of my ribcage, on my front, on the right side, is out of place right now, and has been for at least the last couple of years now.

Today, all day, taking a deep breath felt kind of like my ribs were being ripped from my sternum on my right side, and that's been kinda difficult to deal with, but it isn't exactly new. Still, I guess I'm just getting pretty sick of being in pain all the time. I'm getting sick of not being able to use my right arm without pain, too. And I'm getting sick of not being able to go back into the water. My mermaid tail and monofin have sat unused for such a long time now, and… I guess it feels more than a little sad today, especially since the weather is getting warmer.

I belong chasing after very confused fish and finding pretty rocks and abandoned shells at the bottoms of lakes. I miss mermaid training. But I'm not sure I'm ever gonna be able to do any of that stuff again, and some days it weighs on me a little heavier than on other days.

But some nice stuff happened today, too. I got a song sparrow plush, in honor of the one that Arremo caught some time ago… I don't know if you remember me talking about it. I couldn't save it; it died in my hands.

...I can put this one next to the cardinal plush that I got in honor of the cardinal that got struck by a car, if you remember that letter, 8 days after the sparrow. Hopefully they don't have to be lonely. Maybe their souls can visit my house sometime if they want to. If you see them around as you toodle about the Edge of Creation, will you tell them I love them and that I'm still thinking about them and that I hope they're okay, wherever they are?

After physical therapy, J and I went to my friend R's house. R is an amazing cook and baker; he's one of the best that my planet can offer, and everything he makes always tastes astounding. He wanted to try making mushroom risotto for the first time, and invited those of my house to come try it, and he invited his friend K, too, and we all had a wonderful time talking about various things together.

R made snack trays for us:

...And at some point, we went outside into his yard, and he showed us his garden. He's growing squash and corn and tomatoes and some herbs. I took a couple pictures of the trees and the clouds for you:

We also had a larger-than average squirrel staring at us while making weird noises, so that was pretty funny:

Here's how the risotto turned out; it was absolutely fabulous:

...By then, J had gone to retrieve Br, so J, R, K, Br, and I were all eating the risotto together, and that was pretty awesome.

...I wish you could have been there, too. Goodness knows when is the last time you had a decent meal in good company. I wish you could pop by for a visit.

After that, J and I went to Br's house for a while. We ended up not getting back home until pretty late, and that's why today's letter to you is also pretty late. I managed to snag some good pictures at Br's house for you, though; I hope you'll like these:

...I also got video of the rain that came to R's house. But I'll wait until tomorrow to share that with you; it is very late, and I gotta go to bed.

I love you. I'm thinking about you all the time, and wishing you could be here to enjoy all the wonderful, wholesome stuff alongside me. Alas. But I'll write more to you tomorrow, so please stay safe out there, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[deuterosapiens]

It's now 10:03 at night, July 31, 2024. A Wednesday. We have made it! Heartsong este complet!

I thought about keeping this post brief, so that I might digest these events a bit before writing a more in-depth discussion of my feelings. We know I'm lying and that I will not be doing that. So let's dig in!

So, seeing as we left off with declarations of war and reformed bonds and the reveal of the identity of the mysterious timber wolf, let's go from there. Let's see:

We prepare for war and I an reminded that TJ Klune really doesn't write fight scenes very well. It's okay, his strengths are elsewhere, which we will see quite a bit of as this wraps up. I cannot help but feel like every time a witch enters a battle that I've briefly been transported into a Last Airbender scene where absolutely everyone is an Earthbender for someone, but that's okay. Gold star for murdering Dale. Which means we must say good-bye to our friend, our beloved:

Fuck Dale!

You will be missed. Anyway.

I'm fairly certain the scene with the trees is a direct allusion to the Forest of Suicides from the Inferno. Between this and the creepy Feral Children, I'm reminded of The Forest; you know, that horror film about Aokigahara Forest? Pleasant stuff all around!

Rico is turned, which I'm sure we will all regret by the start of the next book. I was sad at the possibility of his death, but in no way surprised his survives.

Must Thomas Bennett insist upon pulling an Obi-Wan whenever someone has a near-death experience? Oh, who am I kidding! I love Thomas Bennett, I just wish I could stop seeing him under terrible circumstances. Speaking of which!

Livingstone. Alpha Hughes is killed after administering the Bite of an Alpha, which under normal circumstances would be quite fatal to a Witch, to Livingstone. Really, just what we needed. We've made Robert Livingstone stronger!

Gavin.

Gavin Gavin Gavin.

I want you to know off the bat that this name specifically brings me a kind of pain, as I have an ex with the same name who I am unfortunately to this day, madly in love with. So this business with him running away to save the Pack from Livingstone's lycanthropic rampage and shattering Carter's heart into tiny little timber wolf shaped pieces brings be a special kind of pain. I get it, I understand why he's left, but I cannot be made to feel happy about it!

We return home and Robbie and Kelly finally get to remember each other intimately. I mean that Robbie gets his memory back which I was very happy to read until Livingstone showed up at which point I was very unhappy to read. So instead of focusing on how unhappy that made me, I'm just going to blissfully adore the awkwardness that is Robbie establishing very firmly that he absolutely is not making Kelly do anything he doesn't want. Consent matters. I love these two! But alas! Good moments like to end.

Just as we are settling back into life, Carter runs away in search of Gavin. I cannot blame him in the slightest because if his is anything like mine, I would do anything in the universe to have him back. Moving on before I think too hard and make a somewhat questionable decision.

Why the endless hell are we so damn determined to hurt Kelly? Is this who we are? Is this what this series has become? Seriously!! First Robbie, now Carter! This is not okay!

So in conclusion, yepp. That's a book! It has offered me beautiful things, and then politely destroyed them. But it has brought Kelly and Robbie together as a strong couple, and I'm glad there's more Ace representation, as well as whatever hell Carter's got going on (I know he said he might be bi, but I suspect he's honestly just absolutely special in his own way, labels be damned!).

I'm going to be completely honest. I'm not jumping into Brothersong right now. I have a system for these books, brought about by the fact that they tend to make me emotional in a way that's perhaps not exactly good for my wellbeing. So, with Heartsong finished, I'm going to jump into an emotionless fantasy novel, read the next book in my giant stack of Dick novels (The Man in the High Castle), then, if I'm in a good emotional state, I will conclude the series.

Also, a couple of songs I was thinking about while I finished the book. In the event anyone was interested.

[ishgard]

iris & zinnia for the botanical prompts!

[from @/icehearts, and sorry for the angst lmao]

Oh that's fine I love angst thank you so much >3 Answering for Ahru and I'll put them under a cut because 1. length and 2. spoilers! All the way through EW.

iris :   if your muse could convey one last message to someone they have lost or left behind ,   what would it be ?  

~Snippets from Letters to the Lifestream~

To Venat: I feel like you know everything already, but if I don't say it I think it'll fester in my lungs. I hated you. Resented you, feared you. I didn't understand you at all. Not until it was too late. I'm so sorry. Thank you for never holding it against me. Thank you for loving me and believing in me. I love you too, so, so much.

To Wilred: I don't know if it means much, but I am so, so proud of you. You may not realize it but you gave me hope and inspiration - to be a better person, too. (there are smudges here, and the lines are scribbled in a more shaky hand) I wish you could see Ala Mhigo now, free and thriving. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you.

To Haurchefant: It's been so long, since I would walk into your quarters and unravel my trials and tales to you. My quill faltered over the paper for so long, remembering how easy it used to be. I never had to pretend, never had to be more than exactly who I was. Thank you. For that, and everything else you gave me. A home, a family, a life. You know, it's not an easy thing, to live after someone dies for you. It's actually really, really hard. But you always believed in me, didn't you? Thank you for that, too. Also, just one more thing. I wish I'd said it then, but I was too foolish to figure it out. I love you. I love you. I love you.

To Emet-Selch: I imagine writing you like this is just going to annoy you. But if anyone actually found these letters it'd be you, I'm sure. Are you having a good rest? The birds are singing, children play, and the star continues to thrive. But what I really want to say is that I miss you. In ways my 'feeble mind' can't fathom but my soul feels keenly. I look forward to meeting you again one day, and annoying you in the next life too.

To Zenos: You godsdamned fool. Why couldn't you listen for once? If you come back again I... Well, I won't kill you again, but I'll do you one worse. I'll make you live. Really live. Oh, you're going to hate it. You're going to love it. (at the bottom of the page, written small) You will come back, won't you?

(on the back of the page, scribbled at a slant in a faster, angry scrawl) You saved me. I hate that you did. But it makes sense that you did, in our special way. I know only you would truly understand it. But here's the thing you won't understand: I love you for it.

zinnia :   how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ?   has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ?

Ho boy. I'm gonna break this down per character (a few, not all). Gonna put the rest under a cut!

Haurchefant: Bad. To summarize, her mindset basically became "I have to keep going for him, I have to keep going for everyone who is still alive, I have to be everywhere, always, and not ever, ever let this happen again, I can't let anyone else die for me." This was a mindset already seeded by the attack on the Waking Sands and the Bloody Banquet, but really took vicious root with Haurchefant's death. She ran herself ragged until basically post-Stormblood.

I want to say she did gain good things from it too in the long run but that's more her own healing done over a long period of time. She did also realize after he died that she loved him (big oofies), which would be the seed that gradually opened her heart and steadied her spirit in the long run (though also reliant on A Lot of Other Stuff).

Zenos: As far as growth-through-others goes, I feel like Hau and Zenos are two sides of the same coin for Ahru. The two little consciences on her shoulders. Wounds Haurchefant left in her spirit Zenos carved on her flesh to bleed out. I wrote this thing post-SB that I think gives at least some impression:

A kindred beast wrapped in war and bitter despair. A cutting pain that leaves her gasping, bleeding - alive. Human. She remembers in the struggle what it feels like to drown, to barely stay afloat, and then, against all odds, to survive. It is the bricks and mortar of who she is, reconstructed in a terrible dance for the heavens to gaze upon. As her teeth bite down on supple flesh, and blood spills down her throat, she is once more the victor. Once more, alone. 

So yeah, Zenos was absolutely her mirror, and losing him (both times) hit terribly hard despite all the damage he did. But she also realized exactly what made them different; all of the love and companionship she had in her life, deep roots that made the whole world her beloved home.

She also greatly embraced the idea of 'being a monster', at first in a kind of rabid way, on the heels of that mindset mentioned in the Haurchefant section, though gradually more in the sense of 'being a monster isn't such a bad thing': She's powerful and strong and can protect her friends.

Venat: Ahru had so many suspicions about Hydaelyn for so long, and then to have them sorta-kinda 'confirmed' by Emet-Selch? Well, it was more complicated than just giving her the rights to be like "Aha! I knew it!" Because that truth of course came with a lot more information, that made everything a lot more complicated.

I think a lot about meeting her on the boat, how once upon a time Ahru would have chosen the option about 'no longer being able to trust Hydaelyn' - because she never really did. But instead, by this point, she felt so much more compelled and asked 'why show yourself now?' Ahru has always been deeply curious (almost not even a strong enough word) about the Ascians and what drives them, about Zodiark and Hydaelyn.

So then to meet her, to share her stories, to learn the truth behind her blessings, changed everything for her. To learn how similar they were, how deep their connections ran. To learn that this Goddess has been standing firm, waiting for her, just. How soul-shaking it was. She had such little faith in Hydaelyn, and Hydaelyn had so much in her.

There's a lot of other complicated feelings between Ahru and her mother, Ahnia, when compared to the sort of warmth and acceptance she realized Venat gave her. Basically, in the course of Endwalker, she gained a sort-of-mother figure who was then taken away from her and it's a really complicated sort of grief she's dealing with there. It isn't, however as debilitating or damaging a grief as some others, for the most part. Rather, she feels more strong and resolute, renewed of purpose.

There's a common theme in a lot of Ahru's loss, of realizing too late what should have been cherished. And that isn't always her fault, either! she's had to realize. But if there's one thing it's all taught her it's to really hold those she loves close, to keep an open heart, and cherish every encounter.

[ezradogteeth]

heyo james, I've got a question for ya :) (pls feel free to not answer if it's too personal!)

So, I've finally started making calls to get top surgery, and I was really excited! like wow this thing I've been looking forward to for years is finally gonna happen, i'll get to wear shirts without having to constantly think about how i look, etc.

but then I started thinking more about it (i guess because its becoming more Real?), and I'm more conflicted about getting rid of my chest. like, hairy tits go kinda hard actually, and like sensory wise they are fun for stimming. plus i feel INFINITE BUTCH SWAG with them. if it was just me by myself forever, I feel like I could be happy with them, but I also find myself yearning for like, being able to be shirtless in public and also having a smooth surface to run my hands down. stuff like that. (also especially the "not worrying about how I look when i put on a t-shirt thing)

so here's my question: I remember you making a comic about how happy you were to have had top surgery, even if u still missed your old chest sometimes, or felt conflicted about it. what do u miss about your old chest? do you ever feel dyphoric with ur current chest? if u have any other insights or things to say, pls do

(p.s. i am considering non-flat surgery, but i don't know how i feel abt that yet because currently I think it'd be the worst of both worlds for me. i don't think the results would be what i actually want: flat chest that's just slightly rounded across the whole thing so it's soft and kinda andro looking)

hi moth yayyy so exciting!! ty for ur question!! longish answer so its under the cut

first i wanted to say that when i first decided to look into having top surgery, after my consultation, i got wigged out and decided to hold off on it for a while. talking to the surgeon made me Really understand that it is a major surgery and everything that entails. a lot of it freaked me out and i ended up deciding to go for it almost a year after that, and i'm glad i took that time to reconsider.

second, i totally relate to the butch swag thing and sensory thing. since having top surgery i've seen a lot more art and photos and people irl who are transmasc/genderqueer with boobs, much more than i did pre-op, and it makes me feel very happy and i wish i saw more of it back then bc it wouldve made me feel a lot better.

i do think that inherently, i would have been able to make peace with my body as is and not had surgery. i was never super dysphoric about my chest and i liked having partners who found it attractive. like you said, if it was just me by myself, or if i was only ever around people who wouldn't see me having boobs as contradictory to me passing as male, i wouldn'tve minded as much.

but unfortunately it doesn't exist in a vacuum like that. the body is a public form, it's how you engage with the world. similar to what you said, i wanted to be able to be shirtless, not wear a binder, be able to pass sometimes, etc. i also wanted the sensory experience of like, laying down flat on my chest, or running without breasts moving which was always uncomfortable for me esp since i hated wearing bras.

i don't feel dysphoric about my current chest, it's more like a passing wistfulness for how my chest used to be or would've been now if i hadn't had surgery. sometimes it's just the feeling of absentmindedly holding my own boob i miss lol. since i had surgery pretty young there's things i feel like i might've missed out on. i live in a wayyy more transsexual ass place now where it's way more normal for a man to have, and show off, breasts, and for it to be attractive, and not negate his identity at all. and i think i would've slayyed like that. alas! on the day to day though, i've also been working more physical jobs where i want to pass as male, so binding would have been very uncomfortable and i'm glad i don't have to do it. and i get a ton of euphoria from being flat chested, and i'm lucky to be around people who find post-op transmasc chests cool and attractive. as much as i liked having partners be attracted to my chest pre-op, i've also learned that there Are people out there who find flat chests just as attractive, and i love having partners who are attracted to the masculinity of my body, because previously i'd often felt like i had to be feminine to be attractive

and re: a non-flat surgery option, i do think it's something to look into! i never really considered it cuz for me it wasn't really the size of my chest that mattered, more like entirely having breasts or not, and i didn't want to go thru the whole ordeal of surgery just to be dysphoric again or end up wanting to get a flat chest later on - though many people do get a reduction/semi-flat surgery and later have full top surgery and it's totally cool!!!

feel free to send a follow up if i didn't answer something in particular or you want me to elaborate on anything ^_^

[crowandthefics]

Leslie’s slow decline into madness

A Toa fic

All parts!

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Hi, my names Leslie papadopoulos. My favorite jolly rancher color is red, I love mythomagic, and my brothers identity was stolen by a god.

Pretty wild, right? On my 14th birthday my brother, Lester went out and didn’t come back. I remember it well:

“Be back by 3 Lester, you wouldn’t wanna miss your sisters party,” Mom says, as Lester opened the door

“don’t worry mom! I’ll be back in time.” Lester huffs as he steps out.

Lester didn’t come back that day, or any other day. I spent the whole party saying

“I’m not doing that till Lester’s back!”

It was a rather sad party as you can imagine.

My mom made me blow out my candles before all my friends left. by then I had already figured out Lester wasn’t coming back any time soon.

My wish as I blew out my candles was for Lester to come home but the next time I would see him wouldn’t be for a long time.

Well, I never actually SAW him again, but one day he was on twitter for doing something stupid. I don’t even remember what, I just remember going to my mom all excited, and very scared because my brother was alive! And all the way in the way in LA… why was he there instead of at home? Why did he leave on my birthday? I thought we were close?

I cried that night.

Chapter two

I spent the weekend after my birthday crying. But alas I had to return to school on Monday.

I hardly payed much attention in class, how could I? My brother was gone! Why am I supposed to pretend like everything’s fine?

He was declared missing and I started believing he was dead if it wasn’t for all the images of him circling the internet.

Over the weeks my friends decided that I was to much work to be friends with. I don’t blame them, but it will always hurt.

I didn’t really make any new friends per say but this senior, Percy Jackson hung out with me. He could relate to losing people so he understood my pain as well as anyone could.

We weren’t friends but he shared my lunch period and didn’t have anyone else to sit with and neither did I. sometimes he shared his cookies with me!

The months were a blur. I didn’t know what to do so I retreated into fantasy. I already liked mythomagic but now it was my sole coping mechanism. As a result I started reading about the Greek gods.

Funny ain’t it? My brother was taken by the Greek gods and what did I hyper fixate on to escape reality? The Greek gods.

I collected every card and figure and knickknack that mythomagic made. It was all I could do to not to break down.

Then I started seeing things.

Chapter three

I started seeing things. The birds were huge monsters, a dog running down the street could look like hellhounds from my mythomagic cards, I saw teenagers holding swords.

I tried to ignore it for so long, what was I supposed to say?

“Hey mom that kid over there has a sword on his belt!”

Hell no, they’d put me in a mental hospital I’m sure!

…and my parents already lost a child, I can’t make them live with a mentally unstable child.

So I pretend everything’s normal. I don’t see weird things and I’m not breaking apart. But I learned quickly, it’s hard to hide that stuff.

“Leslie! Leslie, are you listening to me?” My mom asked frantically.

I had started crying in the living room, I couldn’t handle all the stress anymore. My brother was missing, I’m failing my classes, and on top of that I’m hallucinating now!

“I want Lester back!” I say through tears.

The rest of that night is spent like that, I wouldn’t listen to reason at.

The next week my parents put me in therapy at the first place they could find. I like to say it helped, all I really did was talk about Lester though. By this point he’d been gone for four months.

It wasn’t long after I started talking about seeing things that I was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

I thought I had things figured out on that until one of the ‘hallucinations’ attacked me, like physically hurt me.

I was out for a walk, my therapist told me getting outside more might help.

I fell to the ground before I could think or react. I couldn’t see the monster so I didn’t know what it was, all I could do was scream.

Then there was just dust and an arrow. A girl with green hair walked up and retrieved her arrow. She looked at me and shook her head, muttering something to herself before telling me: “you should get as far from downtown as you can.”

I didn’t ask questions. I got up and left.

What? Did you expect that I’d stay and find out what was going on? Hell no when straight home and pretended nothing happened, I told my mom I fell to explain any injuries. Apparently the rest of everywhere did to because I saw nothing online about monsters or archers in downtown New York.

It was calm for a while. Until mid June.

Chapter 4

Mid June. They found his body near the Empire State Building.

It was red and brunt, painful brunt. My brother had burned to his death.

He wasn’t crispy the way you’d expect from someone who burned to death, no, he was bright red, red like a cherry jolly rancher.

It confused people. He evenly brunt all over, how was the burn so uniform? It was mystery. A mystery I didn’t want to think about.

My mother tried to calm me down, I was screaming and crying. She offered my what was supposed to be my favorite candy, a red jolly rancher.

“Red red red red no that’s what Lester looked like!” I had cried

Red used to be my favorite color, now I can’t look it and not cry.

I tried to stay calm, I really did! But I couldn’t, my brother, Lester, my dumbass brother who played piano and was late to everything and used to think you eat sunscreen was dead and I wanted him back.

All I could do was sob, my father pulled me away from the scene and took me home. My mom stayed to handle things.

I sat in the center of Lester’s room, just talking as if to him.

“Hey Lester did you know that though Demeter has the worst attack power she has the unrivaled defense?”

“Lester Lester will you play Mary had a little lamb?”

“I’m boreddd Lester… I miss you”

It helped calm me down in the afterwards. His funeral would be the next week but I wasn’t ready to see him again.

Until then, I talk to the walls.

Chapter 5

I stare out the car window on the way to the funeral.

It wasn’t raining, it was bright and sunny. Lester would’ve been sad to know his funeral was on a sunny day. He always wanted a funeral in the rain, for dramatic effect.

At the funeral home I saw way more people than I expected. People I never met.

I was anxious around the people but I tried not to pay attention. Instead eating strawberries. They had been Lester’s favorite snack so we had tons of them.

I ended up talking to one of the people who I didn’t know. He introduced himself as lyre.

“I’m sorry about the loss of your brother,” lyre said, he looked almost guilty. I wondered why.

“No, don’t apologize. You didn’t kill him.” I slightly laughed. Coping with dark humor.

Lyre glanced around nervously before laughing as well, he looked rather awkward.

“Well, still. I hope you’ve been holding up alright,” lyre responded.

“Does talking to walls count as alright?” I ask, to which lyre only shrugs.

The conversation ended there. I felt a bit weird about lyre but I just moved on, I felt weird about a lot of things right now.

I talked to a lot of people who I didn’t know. A set of siblings: will, Austin and Kayla. They were sweet, but Kayla looked familiar to me and I couldn’t figure it out. I ignored that weird feeling too.

I talked about the concept of death with someone named Nico. He was actually really helpful and helped me calm down even in the slightest. “Death happens eventually to everyone. I know it’s so cliche, but it’s gonna be ok eventually. I know how it feels to lose a sibling.”

He also played Mythomagic to so we talked about that for a while. It was something I understood like the back of my hand and it helped to talk about something I understood.

There was a little girl, said her name was Meg. She put a hyacinth on Lester and gave me a potted plant; “so you won’t be as lonely, it can’t replace your brother but it’s something at least!” She told me. It was also a hyacinth.

I held that plant the whole day.

I certainly watered it with my tears.

I can’t remember his service, I just know I cried the whole thing.

I had written out a poem he liked and placed it in his coffin along with my mythomagic figure of his favorite god, Hermes. He liked him because tricks and pranks and shenanigans were some of his favorite things.

At the graveyard I helped shovel the dirt over the coffin.

Staring at his grave I broke down again. Seeing his name in stone made it real.

Long after the funeral was over I sat talking to the grave. As if having a conversation.

Then lyre was there, He just appeared.

“Oh- uhm- sorry hi.” I scrambled to form coherent sentences.

Lyre just sat next to me. After a few minutes of awkward silence he started talking: “I am responsible for his death.” He said.

I blink, “what?”

“Earlier you said not to apologize because it wasn’t my fault, but it was. My name isn’t Lyre, my name is Apollo, and I am responsible for the death of lester.” He took a breath. “I don’t usually tell Mortals about the world of gods, but your life was ruined by it so you are owed an explanation.”

I stare at her. “Explain,” I say sharply.

“I am the god Apollo. I’m sure you know what that means from your little card game-“ I cut her off, “mythomagic.”

“-yes that. How do I put this… I recently went through ‘trials’ of sorts, my father, Zeus made me mortal in the body of Lester papadopoulos. Which is why he disappeared and eventually died. When I ascended to Olympus I can only assume his body couldn’t handle the amount of divine power and burnt to his death. So, young Leslie, I can do nothing but apologize to you,” lyre- Apollo explained to me.

“… with all the weird monsters I’ve been seeing I can’t even say I don’t believe you,” I say, dumbfounded.

Apollo sighs. “If I could bring Lester back, I would, but I can’t.” He takes a breath. “I must be leaving now, goodbye, Leslie papadopoulos.” And he disappears in a puff of gold.

I was mad. Horribly mad. I look at my brothers grave. “Lester. I will make sure he doesn’t just- just move on without caring about what. I swear that to you. I love you.” I hug his grave.

And thus begins my insanity.

Chapter 6

I’m tired. I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I curse the heavens but there’s nothing I can do.

I hate the sun, I hate archery, I hate music- I hate everything Apollo stands for!

I tore apart my Apollo card, I tore a lot of my Mythomagic cards. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was scared and tired and angry, so angry.

Once I came to my senses I shoved the rest of my set in a box into the closet.

I went to my brothers grave so often. One day I was just talking to him in ramblings.

“Ya know what if I summoned Satan? Maybe if I do that I can trade my soul and everything will be fixed.” I laughed, leaned on his grave.

“How hard is it to kill god, do you think?” I asked him.

Things went just like that til I met Anne. Anne was a child of Apollo as she said.

“I fought against the gods in a war a few years back. The second titan war.” She explained to me.

Most importantly about Anne, she was willing to help me make sure Apollo never forgot what happened to Lester.

Anne and I became good friends quickly. And by August we had our plan.

Then, Anne and my plans were found out by a god.

Anne was killed by the gods.

I tore up the paper plans and sunk them in the water. I deleted any digital plans.

I removed all evidence of Anne from my life. I pretended none of that ever happened.

I decided I’d move on from the mess that has happened the last 9 months of my life. I had school to finish, I could make my life a life again.

But things could never be how I wanted them anymore.

My name is Leslie papadopoulos. I hate the color red, my Mythomagic set is long forgotten in a closet and my brother was killed by the gods.

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