#some of these arent crazy dynamic but i just thought they looked nice

[ambalambs]

Just a big alt screenshot dump cuz why not

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

em

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don���t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

[radioactive-synth]

💘 for vaughn/nick/hancock, and as a bonus: how did they all come together? were two of them already dating and then the third joined in, or did they all just kind of meld together at the same time? what sorta dynamic did they have with each other before it became romantic?

short version, they kind of melded together at same time. they are basically best friends to lovers trope, but to be clear, Vaughn is romantically and sexually involved with both of them, but Nick and Hancock arent in between each other, their relationship is platonic and familial. there is no jealousy in between them and neither fight for Vaughn’s attention, and they didnt even before they all 3 became family.

long version:

when Vaughn got out the vault, he was scared and hopeless but still he had revenge on his mind. Nick seen that and understood his need for revenge, so he stick with him until they found Kellogg (3 weeks after the vault). his first impression about Hancock after he killed Finn was that he was afraid of him, but he seen that Nick is totally fine with him, so he trusted Hancock enough to accept his offer to rest at the State House until Amari figured it out with the chip from Kellogg. they didnt seen each other for a few months, but Hancock kept hearing about Vaughn and his MM army. after that, they went in the Glowing Sea, but not before Preston asked Vaughn for help, but he refused, which Nick didnt liked that, but still stayed with Vaughn. after saving his life from 2 radscorpions that damaged his power armor, Vaughn asked how he can thank him properly, and Nick told him that for start, he could help out others, so Vaughn finally accepted his role as General. 3 more weeks, Nick helped him and watched him how he started to talk with the settlers around the area, then he retreated to focus on his own work. their dynamic in that time was that they bonded fast and they could talk about lot of things and talk even about the old world. Vaughn was fascinated to hear about Nick’s previous cases, and Nick liked how Vaughn talked about his past life.

 a few weeks later, Vaughn got hurt badly in a solo mission and Nick was called to help him out, as he didnt seen to accept help from anyone else. Vaughn was relieved to see Nick again and missed him. one night, Vaughn had nightmares and Nick calmed him down, then Vaughn asked him if he can stay with him for the night. Nick was a bit surprised at first, but he was kinda used to other people clinging to him for support, but also he couldnt refuse Vaughn’s crying eyes, so that was first night when they cuddled up. after that, it kinda became a habit to just cuddle at night, cause it felt nice. tho, one other night, when Vaughn took too many painkillers, was too high and kissed Nick on his lips. he only realised that next morning, but neither him or Nick mentioned it, but Nick couldnt stop thinking about the feel of the other’s lips onto his own. they continued to sleep together at night.

as for Hancock. a few months later after he got the leadership of MM and got the Castle back, Vaughn took Dogmeat and stopped in Goodneighbor to buy parts for the radio, when Bobbi No Nose offered him a job: help him break in an old bunker and get whatever he wants (i know the canon says DC but i cant see him accept that ever lmao). only when they got to Fahrenheit, Vaughn realised he was tricked and sided with Fah, as he still feared Hancock. Bobbi left, and Fahrenheit thanked him for that, but still took him to Hancock and apologize for the damages. but Hancock was totally chill, and very surprised that the General of MM would break into his strongroom. after they talked, Vaughn suggested to him to join in his MM missions, which the other gladly accepted, only to get out of the town. they also bonded fast cause of their common values, the humor (even that Vaughn drives Hancock crazy with his puns) and the easy way to talk just about anything. Hancock was so impressed on how kind Vaughn is to other people, and Vaughn likes how adventurous and spontaneous is Hancock. Vaughn offered him a newly renovated house in Sanctuary (which a few weeks later he shared with MacCready). even in that time, Nick stayed in Vaughn’s house when he wasnt busy with his work, and Hancock thought they were in relationship. with time, Hancock started to spend mornings at Vaughn’s house, even with Nick there. at some point, Vaughn started to be touchy with Hancock too, like casual arm over the shoulder or arranging the coat, stuff like that. or even Vaughn asking Hancock if he could look at his hands (’im a doctor, trust me’) as an excuse to feel the texture of his skin. its total different from Nick’s, but still feels fascinated by it. not long it takes that one evening spend together just two of them (as Nick was out for a case) it transforms in a passional night (it was Vaughn who wanted it first, he didnt got any action in 210 yrs lmao). at first, Hancock didnt wanted to take Nick’s place in bed, but Vaughn said its ok. even Nick was totally fine by it. they usually sleep with Vaughn in the middle. at some other point, Vaughn started to have passional nights even with Nick.

even that all in Sanctuary thought of them that they were together, Vaughn didnt really realised that. weeks or months later, the stress was getting higher as he got in the Institute, and couldnt handle his emotions anymore. he started to drink more and neglect himself, which made the other 2 worried, so they took care of him and keep him focused on the MM, even that BOS and the RR were pulling at him too.

when the Institute was gone, Vaughn fell in depression and needed a few days to just sleep, with breaks for eating and bathroom. Nick and Hancock took care of the synth kid, and both adored him even first time. after Vaughn finally decided to get out of the room, he seen Oliver onto Nick’s lap, while he and Hancock were reinterpreting a story from a book, while Dogmeat and Hera were on the floor, listening to them, and Codsworth was also joining in the story. Vaughn felt immense happiness seeing them all together.

 a few days later, Oliver asked his dad if he can call the other two ‘dads’ or to call them different, and Vaughn only realised that he should talk with them two about their relationship. he feared at first that the other 2 will leave for their jobs, but Nick and Hancock werent going anywhere. they thought that they were already a family. Vaughn finally confessed his feelings about them, and wishes to be romantically involved with them. they accepted. and 2 yrs later, they married. also Oliver calls Nick ‘pops’ and Hancock ‘papa’. he doesnt consider he had a mother and has a father, but that he has 3 dads.

currently, Nick and Hancock ocassionally leaves home for their own jobs, but all 3 cooperate so at least one of them is at home with Oliver, and not longer than 2 weeks. even way before they got in relationship, Nick and Hancock provide advices and support for Vaughn’s MM missions. even that Preston is second in command, Ronnie Shaw is third in command and Danse is 4th in command, Vaughn would still first listen to his lovers, and even leave them decide for him if he needs a break due of his bad mental days. Danse isnt happy for this, as he considers that the other two should have a rank (they dont have like the others), Hancock’s only response is that ‘we fuck with the General, is that enough power over him for you, rusted tin can??’. Preston doesnt have anything to comment, as he learned to trust their judgements.

[hildorien]

I am in the minority but I’d love to know more about the pre-noldor elvish edain culture, history, and just life. 

I wanna know more about men in the context of men, I wanna see history through human eyes without the elvish perspective. 

I wanna know the full experiences of all humans in middle earth not the ones the elves interacted with. And if you have to have elves, I wanna hear about what humans thought of elves that isnt ‘oh they are so perfect and amazing and beautiful uwu’, because that’s kind of boring and we can all agree first age elves? on the whole? pretty shitty. (I love em but they have one brain cell to share among them and fuck up on the regular). 

I wanna see Humans who were born into a dumpster fire that is the world of arda, these are a people who didn’t get Orome leading them to heaven on earth, they got Morgoth. These are a people who lived in Morgoth’s land for centuries who probably experienced horror and oppression from basically their species infancy. Unlike the elves of valinor, or even the Sindarin protected by Melian, horror and despair would have not been their abnormal, it would be their everyday.  But they aren’t broken, they survive. They make families, connections, lives in this wasteland. They adapt and change, because I think in some ways that is the race of men’s true advantage over elves. That we don’t have a gap on our ‘greatness’ persay, humanity’s ambitions get’s mutated into greed a lot (I mean numenor is a dumspter fire for a reason) but I think that human ambition is a strength because it means we don’t accept our circumstances. The Edian sure didn’t. 

The edain, the Boerians, the people of haleth, and the hadorians, all marched themselves out of morgoth’s land hoping for something better, with NO GUARANTEE they find anything better.  But they still did it. And while we are here, let’s talk about how the race of men has not guarantee of anything, like elves (and dwarves) kind of know where they end up. They go to Mandos and get reborn, they go to aule, respectively. Men...don’t have that. Men really didn’t get anything (but Morgoth and suffering). They leave this world forever, thats what they know. Thats what they are told. 

But no one knows what the means. (Personally, I think its like a good place situation kind of. Eru is just michael and turin is janet) 

But anyway back to the POINT, (if there ever was one) the edain end up finding beleriand but beleriand isn’t the paradise they wanted. But hey, its not morgoth so let’s celebrate said the beorians before promptly getting found by finrod. And look elves did a lot of good for humans, but I also think there is this really bad dynamic of elves holding all the power and men just being in it for the ride. 

Ive made the joke that the elves of the first age are kind of like the edian’s sugar daddies but it’s kind of true. They give them land and like ‘wisdom’ (whatever the fuck that means) and in return men give them their ever increasing numbers. The Silm is a very elven story we don’t really get a lot of human, but when we do I think it’s pretty interesting. Because the relationship between Elves and Men is really uneven in the first age...and all ages even though in later ages forces of men like numenor at their height could I think easily sweep the floor with the elves of the second age combined. I think culturally Elves give a lot more, like men end up picking up their language, though im one hundred percent sure human languages didn’t die out and never do, humans must have shit talked elves a LOT in taliska (oh yes, that is the name of at least the language spoken by the hadorians and beorians, the people of haleth spoke a different dialect) and I think a lot of humans give more in resources (aka men, power, infantry). I mean personally if I was having at a guess I don’t think (as the latecomers) men got very many places to actually farm and have good land and relied on elvish goods to survive. I think this unevenness kind of spurred this idea that ‘elvishness = superior’, so to make this full circle I think a lot of pre edain culture was lost to make place for diet pepsi version of elf culture that we see human cultures like numenor and gondor have, because that’s better than their orn because elves are SPECIal BETTER AND DON’T DIE LIKE US BROKEN AND FALLEN PEOPLE.  ((screams)) 

Okay let’s talk about the death thing. Human and Mortal and Men all mean the same thing, humans die is not a statement that should be up for debate. But the humans of edain, at least from what we see of Andreth is that this was not how it always was. Humans were once immortal like the elves until they were bad and listened to morgoth and then they became mortal and all sick and ew. 

yeahhhh, I don’t think thats true. I think in-universe its a great myth. I love finrod ah andreth for this reason (also andreth is tolkien’s best female character he ever created and the fact that she’s not in the published silm is why we are in the bad timeline) , but I think humans...always were mortal. 

And thats okay. 

We talked about human ambition above, I think that is fueled by the fact that we all die. We have a timer, so we have to do things now, and that’s not a bad mindset to have. I think it gets humjans into trouble but also, imagine your a human in beleriand, you have children, a family, they might have children someday you want to do what you need to do to make sure THEY have a chance. 

(also lets talk about the fucked up fact that humans are punished for lsitening to morgoth in the first place like im sorry that humans didnt have any other valar looking for them, there was no orome, no fucking chance that they could have met anyone else because no valar came for them only morgoth with his lies so yes humans are bad for listening to the only god like entity that seemed like he wanted to help them, the elves did that too but they had nice gods so they are wise while humans who have illness and sickness and death over their heads listen to a guy with power okay jirt i see your double fuckig stnarad and its STUPID) 

And you can’t wait for that chance, so you leap. I think this is best illustrated by Turin of all people. Turin gets called elvish a lot in looks but in actions, he, like most of his family, are allllllllll human. The bridge in nargothrand even though it’s stupid and ends up horribly kind of reminds me of this. Turin doesn’t have time to wait like Gwindor, and Orodreth, etc do. his people have already been fucking disomated, he’s lost his father, his mother is trapped in enemy territory.  He wants to help. 

Sure it blows up in his face, but yknow...the want to do good is there. 

I think on the whole humans get a bad rep...like they’re called stupid and dumb and ugly by both fandom and in universe elves alike. But I don’t think that’s the case. Humans have a lot more balls and have collectively been through more trauma as a species than I think all of the elves (especially valinorian) elves combined. I think when humans fuck up, whether it be turin or numenor, it’s proof of their incompetence, that their inante (eru-given ability) to have ambition to seek beyond the world they live in for something better for something more is evil and they should be more like the elves, stagnant, already at the height of ‘perfection’, never changing....instead of being humans. Like look at these fools trying to act like than can be GOOD at something, sit down and let these elves be best at everything obviously. How many of you would look at me funny if I said, maybe the race of men was BETTER THAN THE ELVES AT SOMETHING? A lot of you im sure, and someone would have a rebuttle for how I was wrong and how this elf was considered the best. 

(like that post going around how could turin actually be #that pretty to thot his way through all of beleriand? Maybe he just Was like that, sure he may have a little elvish ness but honestly I think that be a funny thing elves say to cover up the fact some elves found a icky human was actually just that fucking hot, because obviously humans could never be that actually hot ever, not to intangle a sindarin mast of a guard, a NOLDORIAN VANYAR-DESSCENT PRINCESS, ect) 

Also just to go back to numenor, ever want an example of why it doesnt work for men to act like elves...look at numenor, early numenor was as elvish as humans could produce....but then they got bored. And then numneor became an empire and everyone eventually had so much of a bad time, eru reshaped the fucking world just to wipe the valar’s ‘humans but better’ ocs off the face of the planet. Like just to stray off topic I personally think men can’t go to valinor 1) because the two trees are actually nuclear, and the whole damn island is chernobyl instant death right there and thats why the valinor elves are like #that (they GLOW for gods shake) 2) the monotonous never changing perfection of valinor while amazing in the short term for humans would eventually drive them crazy. Not to say that the race of men doesn’t like some peace and quite or even humans (like myself) can be obverse to change, even I can admit doing the same thing ever day would drive me crazy. 

This got super rambly, but its been a lot of thoughts Ive been having for a long ass time. Basically, I just want people to talk to me about the atani, edian, race of men, whatever you want to call them. They deserve a lot better and a lot more respect than just playing a supporting role to the elves. 

They didn’t kill all those dragons to be ignored like this. 

[ketzwrites]

REWATCH 101: “THE MORTAL CUP”

Written by Ed Decter | Directed by McG 

Here are my thoughts on the very first episode of Shadowhunters. I think I might keep this format for the following episodes. 

Also, this rewatch will be random and sporadic. So, there’s that. Enjoy!

GENERAL NOTES

Jace bumps into Clary – not very professional, Jace: you’re invisible, not intangible. More importantly, though, Clary has the sight!

Clary introduces herself to examiners who are almost as unwelcome to her as the audience is. We learn about her drawing skills and that she sees weird symbols and demons around. Again, Clary has the sight!

Oh, yeah. Dot runs an antique shop. Also, hello there, Mortal Cup.

Are Clary and Maureen friends? Or is Maureen friends with Simon, who is friends with Clary? I need to know to evaluate how gratuitous this exposition conversation about Clary’s family history is.

Clary unintentionally draws an angelic rune. Because Clary has the sight! I cannot stress this enough.

Too bad Jace didn’t notice the angelic rune on the van. That could’ve been interesting. But, guys, Jace says it! Clary has the sight!!

Jace has a rather intimate approach to interrogating a Shax Demon. Weird take, but okay, Ed Decter. I guess Alec is… jealous? Mildly bored? Uncomfortable? I’m uncomfortable.

Why does Izzy refer to Alec as “my” brother and not “our” brother, I’ll never know. She refers to Jace as her “brother in every way” in the next episode, so there’s that.

Great scene where Izzy is forcing Alec’s suspicion to be based on jealousy while Alec corrects her and says it’s caution. We know he won the argument because he got the last word.

First “all the legends are true”!! Immediately followed by “we’re shadowhunters”, which is not a legend, but okay. 

we learn she’s been out for two days when Simon calls. This is important because it will be the longest episode timeline wise in this entire show.

Oh, this is the first time I notice the shadow passing behind Simon at 34:46. Cool.

Clary has been drawing runes without knowing about them because, you got it, Clary has the sight!

Is this “choose your path” scene with Jace and Simon pulling Clary to literal opposite directions a lot on the nose? Yes. Do I like it? Kind of. Also, here is the theme of the episode, kids. Clary’s two conflicting halves pulling her apart. She has to choose one or she’ll break.

THE GOOD

That whole teaser is great. A nice and functional introduction to the shadowhunters, the existence of demons, and to the fact that Clary is different than your regular mundane girl. Zero exposition is done by dialogue. Effective and compelling.

Clary and Simon's friendship is the sweetest. 

Luke’s terse response about Jocelyn creates some believability later on when he tells the Circle members he doesn’t care about the Frays. Same thing with Luke’s running out of patience with Jocelyn’s lies to Clary.

The dynamic between Clary and Dot is endearing. I’m buying their affection to one another and Dot being worried about what is waiting for Clary now that Jocelyn finally decided to stop gaslighting her own daughter.

“Mom, we’ve had the Talk. I’m good.” Even in the pilot, Clary is shown to be in charge of her own sexuality. Well done, show.

Good for Magnus for pointing out that erasing Clary’s memories won’t protect her. Also, good for the character of Magnus for going along with it anyway. Let’s hope this exchange between Magnus and Jocelyn gets referenced later on.

The entire re-introduction dynamic between Alec and Izzy, Izzy and Jace, Alec and Jace is absolute gold. It humanizes these three suspicious-looking superpowered people we saw in the teaser. Too bad we don’t get a little reaction from Jace to Alec’s snarky “platinum”. But we do get amazing characterization through their dialogue: Alec doesn’t care for mundanes and is the cynical one, Izzy has something to do with science and is the fun one, Jace doesn’t care about the rules and is the soldier-minded one.

Clary checking out Simon when he’s shirtless is there for a reason and I’ll never stop pointing it out.

Clary is a feminist icon and so she tries to help the “girl’ about to be attacked by the crazy dude with the glowing sword. After that, we get a great fight sequence where we infer that the Lightwoods are expert fighters, Alec and Jace act like Parabatai, Izzy kicks ass, and Clary yells and freaks out like the untrained eighteen-year-old she is.

Valentine mercilessly killing that mouthy Circle Member for insulting Jocelyn both works to establish how dangerous Valentine is and to show that his experiments are crazy.

THE BAD

Clary’ unawareness about Simon’s crush on her would be less annoying if she didn’t use such a flirty tone when praising his intelligence. Same thing with “That’s how I know it’s cool” and “You do not tattoo my neck. That creepy.” Whoever told Kat McNamara to use this pretentious sexy tone of voice was wrong. Clary sounds much better when she’s being sassy instead of flirty.

Honestly, “demonic murders” isn’t subtle at all. But aren’t the demons draining mundane blood artistically inclined? Who’d thought they would leave their dead mundane victims looking like a perfume ad?

No, Maureen. A single mother raising her only daughter by herself isn’t suspicious. It’s 2016, get on with the- Oh, wait. Jocelyn just took out a seraph blade and activated it for no reason at all besides being an act break. This level of needless drama requires a sensible third party. I take it back.

So, why exactly can’t Simon hear Jace? People will hear Clary’s phone ringing in a couple of episodes, so why is Jace’s voice inaudible now?

There is no in-context reason for the Circle Members not to mention Jocelyn’s marriage to Valentine as they try to recruit her back. Other than keeping that information hidden from the viewers, that is. But I guess it’s convenient that they don’t mention that in this private conversation.

Why would Valentine’s base be in Chernobyl? I get that they force warlocks to work for them. But still, why? Because it’s evil?

THE INTERESTING

The focus on the missing biscotti is a little heavy-handed, but it consists mostly in a visual-only plot point, so that’s good. 

It’s curious that Jocelyn introduces the Shadow World to Clary using a stele. That will eventually be Clary’s greatest weapon as a shadowhunter. She even uses it to stab a demon, her greatest move as a shadowhunter.

Simon singing “Forever Young” will always be a good foreshadowing. Also, this is the start of the show’s good use of Alberto’s musical talents.

The Circle Members recognize Jocelyn in Clary. Too bad they didn’t have Kat McNamara playing young-Jocelyn in the flashbacks. Give her some bangs and maybe a different tone of red. Kat can do a very good badass and it would highlight the differences between Clary and her mother at her age.

Clary spills out her MO in the first episode. “I’m not interested in being a part of your supernatural fight club. I just want to find my mom. The rest of it – whatever it is – all that I care about is finding my mother.” The warnings were all there and we missed it.

[dumbbitchfrommars]

OH MY GODDDDDDD!!!!!!

I was doing so well dodging any feelings for any of the men in my internship position, which are EVERYONE by the way, the only other woman who worked there just left after me meeting her for like 1 week. its easy when theyre all either way too old or married with kids, and ive fallen into an easy little father/daughter dynamic with them all. but one, oh no, one, he is just a little too young, young enough to be someone id go for. and given my thing for older men, this is DANGEROUS. hes got a girlfriend too which makes it so much worse. im tryna be respectful and stay in my lane, but hes so funny and compatible with me, but in reality hes just compatible with everyone and is the sweetest and funniest person so naturally, and intelligent, and ugh. im falling in love. jk hes not that great he joked about doing literal blackface but omg apart from that he has this childlike personality that i adore, and so chill and laidback and actually funny. but also so unfunny but in a wholesome i dont care and i know its not that funny, like a dads humour, and safe and ugh. wow. that is a lot for someone who told herself she wouldn’t get any feelings. 

anyway i dont think i have feelings. maybe a little. i think hes just so nice and wholesome. maybe just restoring my faith in men a little. like hes just such a short king. changing my opinion on short men, cause stupid fucking scorpion was an idiot in an idiots body (lol) anyway he may have been tall but he had no personality nor any balls or courage or confidence, meanwhile this short king (my new nickname for him in my head) has such a strong presence in a room, in a conversation, and he’s an aries like me! his birthday is only 2 days after mine. he acts so young but also so old. idk. just ideal. i think ive found my ideal type, personality wise. its not him, he has his person. im not stupid either, he wouldnt like me. but hes the blueprint. its crazy though, his height. i think he could even be shorter than me. like so short. but you wouldn’t be able to tell. his eyes though, he looks like he never sleeps. how?! do you sleep? im lowkey like, should i be worried? but hes like functioning which i guess is all that matters. also,... oh yeah. his beard. he looks perfectly aged. men truly age like fine wine (sometimes). i love older men! hahahahahahha my god im fucked. but a girl wants what a girl wants ya feel. i wonder what trauma fuelled this trait of mine. anyway on to the next one. wish me luck tomorrow in the freezing 6am start

okay imma just continue in this post so its not a spam of me frothing over older men. so i was struggling to walk up some dodgy stairs and he literally GAVE ME HIS HAND and helped me walk up them cause i was wearing huge gumboots that i was about to trip myself up in. im sure that was breaking some kind of rule of how to act professional with interns but oh well. ugh im so obsessed now. no man my age would be brave enough to do that. its like they arent intimidated by me, or my anti-social-ness. its nice. its nice to not feel the weight of responsibility to make everyone else feel comfortable for once. 

theres also another guy who i think might be the youngest of all of them there, hes so sweet and cute and complimented my ESSAY HE READ MY FRIGGIN ESSAY who fyi had someone else send it to him, i sent it to the other guy that i met on my first day of fieldwork and is literally the dad of the whole team, and he somehow got it off him>! ive never even spoken or been properly introduced to this guyy and hes reading my words and thoughts about a topic that im so passionate about (the ocean, climate change and how it will affect biodiversity) and he went as far as to tell me it was GOOOOOD!!!!!! Also it was funny how he called it my��“thesis” babes it was barely even 2k words i wouldnt consider it a thesis but i love that you would ugh im in love. thats all i need, someone to minutely compliment me and my heart is yours. lol. this entire experience of doing an internship, its truly changed my life. i have such a newfound perspective of men (crazy!) and myself, what i want out of life, how to treat people, idk . theres nothing competitive about these guys. they know theyre strengths, theyre not insecure, they support one another. and theyre happy to teach me, and genuinely want to help me succeed too. like, i really didnt think it was possible to find that after being let down by people so often. but its possible. i just wasnt looking in the right places. this has been such a massive rant.