#i might have vented with this one

[jjmaybae]

The one that deserved better. (scp: aejjmbk & matteditscp / ib: underooss)

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze

[trans-leek-cookie]

yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.

The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.

[venacoeurva]

Hircine help him he’s stuck in that “No I don’t want kids” song and dance, for over 200 slutty, slutty years

Dialogue is in image description if Tumblr ate the quality too much.

-Please do not reupload/edit/use-

[inkly-heart]

please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤

🌱

[angelpuns]

pov i did in fact get a (v cheap) cane to see if it helped any but I'm??? apprehensive about using it or telling anyone about it cause im?? Idk if it will improve my life but it's a temporary solution until I can go to the doctor. Anyway this is just me telling someone( the internet) about it cause it frankly should not be this big of a deal. It just is cause that's the type of person I am. I mean- my friends can attest to me not being able to stand or walk for long periods of time, I just don't want them to??? i don't wanna say judge me, but maybe think I am being dramatic?? It really is temporary to see if it helps so. Idk. I know they probably wouldn't but man im just.ragh. I also was under the assumption that canes are just for support when walking but apparently nthey are also helpful if you have trouble standing. good to know cause that's where most of my issues lie. walking sucks too but I can usually deal cause im too focused on other things such as 'dont get hit by car' and 'dont let knees get too straight'

ALSO SIDE NOTE I WILL BE GOING TO A DOCTOR SOMETIME AFTER JANUARY IM JUST LITERALLY TOO BUSY AND POOR RN TO DO SO

[wishchip106]

i wonder how long it took for charles to get out of his habits and depression after dofp

putting my problems on charles lmao

charles not wanting to change but knowing he needs too because nothing beneficial will come out of staying in his sad little bubble of alcohol and the serum.

i find it kind of unrealistic to just be able to get out of that hole. he would be going through two different types of withdrawal and his ex kinda broke his heart again

the main reason he got out of the house was because logan told him about the future and that his sister was going to be tortured and experimented on

he would also have to get re-used to not using his legs AND telepathy

bro stronger than me damn

i feel like mental health was also definitely not treated the same way it is now compared to the 70s so he pretty much just has hank as a support beam

change is an incredibly difficult thing so i bet it took at least a few years for charles to heal from all those years of drinking and taking too high a dose of the serum and depression. even then he still clearly has some lingering habits as we can see in dark pheonix he resorts to drinking whenever he struggles with something (and this is 20 years after dofp)

this guy crazy forreal

[aychama]

Guys Im not a big account with a lot of experience, don't treat me as such...

[def-not-kaz-brekker]

i love being aromantic but Jesus it’s so fucking isolating

[starlingpaw]

throws more squid art at you

listen to this,,!!!!!

[chiangyorange]

I just had some violent flashbacks of the peepaw polls. Hit me like a truck

hey bestie did u mean to drag my ass down with you

[venacoeurva]

I appreciate Wacom's packaging of pens because it's more than just A Box, but why do they gotta add fabric wrapping around the pen so tightly that when trying to slide it off it makes it feel like you're trying to push its foreskin down and it has phimosis

[moeblob]

idk if it's a fun fact or not but! Right's favorite color is green. He never wears green but it's his favorite color. then I've been working on silly emotes for my OCs and they're "disappointeddad" and "tryme".

(Also there is an AU where these two are knights along with Paul and Evelyn while Brent/Caspian/Atticus are princes. Chris is basically Caspian's personal guard while Right just runs around trying to do everything to stay busy even when not on duty which stresses Chris out. But since he's kinda busy with the crown prince it defaults to Paul having to babysit Right.)

[falmerbrook]

Not to be too corny but the new year has got me thinking and I really appreciate this blog because this is pretty much the only site/community/fandom where I don't stress out over posting every single thing I post, afraid I'll be shit on for... something (my brain is very good at coming up with hypotheticals). I know, I know I'm way too sensitive and i shouldn't care about what others think and the internet isn't real so it doesn't matter etc. etc. but unfortunately I just don't know how to get my brain to work like that. I mean, I'm still too afraid of being cringe to draw/write/yap about everything I'd hypothetically like to, but I've been way more social and open to posting my thoughts on here than I've ever been before, and it's made me more confident online overall. So thank you all for being so welcoming and chill!

[saetiate]

yall didn't know me back then but 2020-2022 i only wrote smut all day every day on this blog. like it took me so so long to get comfy writing fluff or selfshipping or anything like that and even now i've only been writing fluff bc i'm scared of like diving into my emotions so harshly in more emotional fics. which is to say like i always say: growth is happening all the time.

[vivika-ka]

I hate to be the person complaining about fanfics, but reading Leopika fics can be a bit difficult when you kin Kurapika more so than the other characters lol.

I feel like there’s barely any emphasis on the fact that he’s grappling with the literal genocide of his people. It’s not one person or some members of his family, it’s literally everyone. Everyone and everything he’s ever known, completely gone yet simultaneously haunting him as parts of them can’t be laid to rest properly (the eyes) and sold as some exotic commodity, completely dehumanizing their bodies even in death--I also wager it is part of their culture to be buried "whole."

He’s carrying that guilt and the fear it’ll happen again to the people he loves and who love him. He’s carrying the legacy of every Kurta clan member on his shoulders. He’s grappling with the disappearance of their culture, sans himself attempting to keep it alive amidst revenge and a quest that may very well kill him. He doesn't want to do the things he's done, but rather views it as a necessity to achieve his goal (to catch a monster, you become one, essentially).*

If this was One Piece, I’d somewhat understand the vitriol in majority of the fics—how frustrating it is that Kura doesn’t open up to his friends, since One Piece begs the characters to trust their friends wholeheartedly (thinking about Nico Robin and Trafalgar Law in relation to Kurapika). But Hunter x Hunter is entirely different in its approach to trauma and interpersonal relationships in general.

I know it doesn’t excuse how Kurapika’s coping mechanisms affect the people who love him; if anything I appreciate how fic writers explore the pain of watching someone you love trying to fight alone and fighting in self-destructive ways. This aforementioned aspect in fics is not what I'm usually picky of, but more so how his trauma is constantly overlooked or underplayed.

The comparison to Gon is something I also don't mind in terms of how hard-headed and self-centered they can be when it comes to their goals (tunnel vision). However, it is not a 1-1 comparison. It always goes back to the fact Kurapika is carrying a genocide on his back vs. Gon carrying the loss of one person. Above everything else, grief is absolutely valid. But I do think there's such a thing as someone grappling with a person's death vs. an entire society and subsequently their culture.

(Much is similar when it comes to aforementioned OP characters, especially Trafalgar Law, when their loss is often compared to other characters but it doesn't quite amount to the same level psychologically and physically. For example, his loss to Blackbeard is often compared to the Strawhats losing to Kuma, when it is entirely different given the context of both characters and crews' backstories and world connections).

Killing the Phantom Troupe is one thing I don't necessarily mind when other characters urge him to let go, since killing them won't bring his clan back. What vexes me boils down to the mission of laying his clan to rest being treated as something easy to give up, I feel like it loses sentimentality. Especially when the fics, and occasionally metas, usually entail every single character shitting on Kurapika for essentially not giving that up.

If there’s any character who hates Kurapika with a passion, is Kurapika. No other character needs to do that for him because he does it plenty for himself, given both his survivor’s guilt and the guilt of hurting the people he cares for.

Anyway, I rarely complain publicly like this, nor do I like to. Following etiquette, I don’t keep reading the stories that aren't for me, and choose to work on my personal WIPs, of course. This is a vent, if anything. It’s just hard when the fandom at large seem to mischaracterize the your favorite blorbo 😅

*Disclaimer. I wouldn't even bother putting this here if I didn't see people arguing Kurapika is willfully enabling the upper class' oppression just because he works for rich folk, plus claiming he himself subscribes to capitalist and oligarchical ideologies compared to Leorio, when that's not true at all lmaooo. Kurapika came from a clan that has deep connection to nature, they were far removed from society at large and lived through deep communal relationships and "trade," they used what was available to them; I wouldn't be surprised if there was little to no monetary system in place. His notion of what is honorable and what isn't has nothing to do with capitalism, it boiled down to doing what is right at the cost of yourself, that's why he is literally sacrificing himself to avenge his clan. Him disagreeing with Leorio on reasons why to become a hunter and having to work for the Nostrade are not AT ALL congruent with agreeing to a capitalist and oligarchical view, what are you people on?