#i might as well start an archive fuck

[stlamb]

vintage betsey johnson punk label (80s) lace skirt

[crossbackpoke-check]

about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)

for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge

[the-busy-ghost]

Idk why every time I have a project that involves using the Register of the Great Seal for something even slightly more complex than looking up a single isolated charter, I always have a lovely plan where I think it will only take me a couple of hours to go in, check the index, and take the numbers I need down. And then I end up having to skimread the whole damn volume.

[cloud-etudes]

Edgewater, Chicago - September/October 2019

[nomaishuttle]

aughhhhh i wish i had books 2 read i wanna read books so bad rn 🤓 <- i look like this. 2 pictures of me 👇

[foone]

Your posts are in an AI model

and then Tumblr decided to sell them to AI models.

Now, don't get me wrong, tumblr selling out the users to AI companies is bad, yes, they shouldn't do that. It sucks.

but don't lets get this confused: your posts were already in there. Tumblr selling them is about tumblr making some money and about the AI models having more exhaustive post collections. It's not about your posts being in an AI model, vs not being in one. That battle has already been lost.

Can you find your post on google? Then it's almost certainly in an AI model already. Think about it: These AI sites showed up before all the sites were making deals to sell their users' content, right? How do you think they built them in the first place?

They scraped the posts. Just like google and bing and such do when they build their search indexes.

It's a fundamental part of how the open web works: you want your posts on tumblr to be visible to users, right? You want them to be readable?* Like, look how much stuff broke when twitter changed their whole read-while-not-logged-in policy, ruining a bunch of thread links/NSFW links. And if it's visible, it's scrapable. That's what the AI models were built on.

I've done website scraping before (not for AI models, of course. I was doing search engines and website archival), this is just how it works. You hire a few relatively smart CS graduates and tell them "build me a scraper that'll give us a bunch of tumblr posts" and they go off for a month or two and come back with a database of a few billion posts, and you stuff that into your AI model. That's how they got all the deviantart and flickr and twitter and pinterest and so on posts. They didn't pay for them: they just took them.

They only ever pay for this shit because either:

they fucked up in such a way that the site might be able to sue them for taking rather than paying

They can buy them cheaper than they can finish taking them. Maybe they'd need to pay the CS grads for an extra month? well, that might be more expensive than just throwing the site a couple hundred thousand bucks.

ANYWAY: my point is, don't treat this "oh no tumblr is selling our posts to AI" like it's a big thing that might happen and it would be bad to happen. Yes, it's bad, tumblr shouldn't do this, this'll let AI models get continual updates of content for far easier than just scraping them would be, tumblr betrayed user trust, and so on...

but realistically, this is not a black and white matter of "if only tumblr didn't do this, then we'd be safe from AI models!"

Nope. We already lost that battle. I'm sorry, and it does suck, but that's just how it is. The avalanche has already started, it's too late for the pebbles to vote. * I'm assuming here that you don't run a private blog that's set to only followers or something. You'd be safer then, of course, but you're not really my target audience for this rant

[arolesbianism]

The things I would do if I had a less shitty laptop (things being streaming dst)

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

[susiephone]

wtf is dracula daily?

i’ve seen a couple people ask this question on my posts about it, so i thought i’d go ahead and clear it up here!

ok so, the classic horror novel “dracula” is an epistolary novel - that means it’s told via letters, diary entries, ship logs, and news articles. (technically the term “epistolary novel” refers to works told solely through letters or emails, but many have expanded it to mean any work that is told via in-universe documents, hence why diaries and logs often get included as well. “frankenstein” is another classic example; the whole framing device is robert walton is recounting the story he heard from victor to his sister via letter. a modern example would be “several people are typing,” which is told via slack messages, or “the perks of being a wallflower,” which is told via letters from charlie to his anonymous pen pal, which is functionally more like you’re reading his diary.)

because of the nature of the narrative, we actually know the exact day nearly everything in dracula happens - the letters, news articles, diary entries, etc. are all dated.

“dracula daily” is a substack project where the novel is broken up into parts, with people who are subscribed to the project getting emails every day something in dracula happens - for example, the novel opens with jonathan harker’s journal entry on may 3, so on may 3, subscribers are emailed that entry. the action of dracula takes place from may 3 - november 6, plus an epilogue set some years later. the project started in 2021 (i think), but fucking BLEW UP in 2022, and they’re doing it again this year! lots of us are very excited - especially people like me who fell behind last time.

why not just read the book?

valid! due to some parts of dracula being told out of chronological order, dracula daily does reorder some things. for example, the first section of dracula is told entirely from jonathan harker’s pov, then the second section switches the pov to mina murray. their sections have some overlap in the timeline, so dracula daily jumps back and forth between their perspectives.

if you want to read the book as bram stoker intended, dracula daily may not be for you. but for a lot of people (myself included!), it breaks up a very long text into easily digestible chunks (....mostly. there is one entry that is 10k words), and the fact that it’s a big project means there are a lot of people reading along with you.

i think there’s also something valuable about experience the slow revelation of wtf is going on along with the characters. the book which you might otherwise get through in a few days is stretched out into months of suspense and agony as you wait for the other shoe to drop, and it’s great.

plus, the whiplash between “jonathan harker’s neverending horror” vs “lucy is basically on the bachelorette” that you get in dracula daily is very very funny.

how do i sign up?

right here! and if you sign up and fall behind in the emails, no worries - the dracula daily website posts past entries so you can catch up.

what if i prefer audiobooks?

have i got great news for you!

like i mentioned before, i couldn’t keep up with the emails last year. part of it is that it is much easier for me to focus on an audiobook or keep up with a podcast than it is for me to sit down and read, especially with longer entries.

this year, there is going to be a podcast titled “re: dracula” that was inspired by dracula daily. every episode will be a dracula daily entry, with a full voice cast! (seriously, if you listen to british podcasts, you will recognize some of these names. the magnus archives and wooden overcoats girlies are WINNING.) you can find that here.

there is also a podcast called “cryptic canticles” that has an already-completed audiodrama of dracula that i’m told is also extremely good, and was also broken up by date. you can find that here.

why do i keep hearing about paprika/the boyfriend squad/lizard fashion/cowboys?

you’ll see.

oh god am i gonna hear about this nerd shit for the rest of the year

yes. sorry.

[weebsinstash]

I know the show isn't out yet but Stayed Gone is stuck in my head and I'm chugging my yandere Vox juice so hard right now. I think he has the capacity to be absolutely insufferable

---for starters THE SPYING POTENTIAL WITH THIS MAN. You're telling me he can directly plug himself in to the city power grid and see through all televisions, potentially even phones and computers too? Could he put himself on your phone and start going through your texts? Could he even just put himself on your phone real quick while you're sleeping to check in on you? You couldn't even have privacy in your own home because of whatever screens are around he could potentially shoot himself to or watch you through. Imagine just being in your apartment completely alone and he's suddenly on your tv. Like what if you had just been sitting there topless or with your dick out or something or 👀 I mean. He could see so much, really...

---God honestly like. You know I keep mentioning the Instagram without ever attaching pics or anything because I'm on mobile and I'd have to use the hazbin Instagram archive blogs here on tumblr to go find them back like, you know Val would openly post the meanest shit, would literally post Vox's face being busted up because he woke Val up from a nap or i think it was he literally just brought him the wrong soda (which to be fair was taken from Velvet and was half empty), and then you go over to Vox's account and his pic was taping his pieces back on while being really frustrated and kinda lowkey looking like he would cry

Like Val's out here "women are stupid also men are stupid too" and talking about how he adopted a dog and killed it within like 48 hours and here's Vox celebrating his pet's birthday with cake and a party like. Why are these men together. Why. Why. Don't get me wrong I love to be the involuntary third in a toxic codependency but--

look all I'm saying is... do any of you get really really upset when you see someone being mistreated, especially more so a friend of yours?

READER JUST LOSING THEIR SHIT GETTING FERAL ANGRY SHOUTING AND SCREAMING AT VAL BECAUSE HE PULLS SOME SHIT and like that's IT for you because 1. Valentino might like actually backhand you one as well, do you think he wears rings so it hurts, 2. Vox sees you defending him and like, it's based on your own preferences really but if he wasn't already gaga this CEMENTS it and 3. especially if he watches you have to take a blow for trying to stick up for him. Like what if you cry. I have a low pain threshold, I'd be sniveling and crying at the least. Valentino storms off and Vox is helping peel you off the floor cause you curled up into a ball or some shit and he's sitting there thinking "wow they suck at this but they still did it for me 🥺"

---during his song with Alastor, it's a little confusing because they show an actual camera crew when he's turning the TVs on, but i think it's pretty clear that he can control whatever the screens show visually, thus his little zany sketches and being able to talk to himself and at one point, showed the visual of himself blocking the radio Alastor was projecting on right next door. I can just see him using this to kind of.... fuck with you, really! Or do whatever he wants? He's trying to suck up to you and he's surrounded by roses, or you're his co-host/guest host and he thinks your joke was funny and gives a little audience laughter as a treat

Or you know... you're running from him down the street, passing all these different screens and displays as they power on and show things like, him "jumping in front of you" while demanding you stop or, trying to show some kind of blackmail publicly, or just, begging you to just ACCEPT HIM and showing you all the fun things he could do with you, "cmon, I said I was sorry, stop freaking the fuck out! We can- we can do that thing you've always wanted to do, what about that?!" as he tries to project you two doing something fun, but most importantly, doing it TOGETHER. You're running from him terrified and he's showing you images of like you two smiling and happy or, it becomes scarier as he's more desperate

"Don't-don't make me do something fucked up!! I'm serious, STOP RUNNING" and he's like freaking out, showing shit of trying to hold you down, tying you up, and/or shoving you into a locked room

Sudden thoughts of "what if the more emotional and unstable he becomes, the less he can control his intrusive thoughts and shows his more impulsive darker desires". He's tweeking and the screen glitches and you briefly think you see yourself completely restrained, blindfolded, gagged--

---he's just like OBVIOUSLY so prideful but also immature and whiny ("who gives a shit about alastor?" Well you, mr hes just quietly minding his own business and I'LL start beef because i feel threatened and STILL LOSE, like awww my poor little pogchamp got publicly humiliated in an argument HE started out of nowhere, he's my little sad wet baby lmaoooo) and we already know his relationship with Val can become physically abusive, so, you pair him staying in that kind of relationship, being codependent, with this personality of his, and I can just see.... ACTUALLY FUCKING TRIGGERED LIKE LITERALLY CRYING UPSET VOX BECAUSE YOU REJECTED HIM like he's pissed he's hurt he's lonely he's heartbroken and HELL NO IS HE GONNA ACCEPT THIS

Vox would be over here proudly claiming on his TV show that NO HE REJECTED Y O U, not the other way around! He's not upset! He's totally fine! Meanwhile everyone watching can tell this man is manic and visibly hotboxing copium, "I didn't even really like you anyways!!.... no, I mean, shit, fuck, COMMERCIAL BREAK--" *cut to technical difficulties screen because the man is CRYINGGG*

-- Valentino and Reader bonding over teasing Vox and making him flustered and of course, obviously, the inverse. I still kinda like the idea of "they both think you're cute but like nothing exciting until one night they bump into you unplanned and you're all dressed up". Like Val is from the 70s or 80s so they go to a roller rink disco whatever kinda place because I'm sure the coke game there is INSANE and you're just like, swaying your hips spinning around to Let It Whip or September or something dressed in some shorts that make your ass look just right 🤌

You're sneaking back into the studio after a night out and they're both lounging somewhere and Val's like "uhhhh who is THIS coming in without saying hi to Daddy?" and you pull your sunglasses down like "SIR??? 😳" And now HE'S flustered because he didn't know that was you and Vox is feeling some new kinda way because he's used to seeing you in like, your work uniform or casual wear

Val who then makes your work uniform really slutty and you have to serve him and Vox wearing it 😩❤️

---I have this thought of like lmao imagine walking down the sidewalk with Angel and seeing Vox on TV and Angel is like "ya know he can see everything outta dese things when he's plugged in" and you're like "bullshit, he couldn't possibly process that many screens at once, it'd overload his brain, he wouldnt be able to concentrate" and you're like "here I'll prove it, hey Vox, check it out you fucking dweeb" and flash him your bare titties or you MOON HIM

scenario A would be that he INSTANTLY barks out laughing, "hey Val, that dumb slut who brings you drinks just flashed me!" And he just totally shows it on the air, maybe partially censored, maybe not at all, your phone is ringing IMMEDIATELY, of COURSE it's Val, and Vox is broadcasting your mortified embarrassed expression, "our big story tonight: drunk bimbo fucks around and finds out! More updates after this word from our sponsor!" and the man will noooootttttttt stop bullying the fuck out of you afterwards, because he's got a crush on you and you're like someone weaker than him his insecure ass can punch down on

Scenario B is that he instantly turns pink and about 5 seconds later he blue screens and the entire city experiences a blackout and when he comes back on the air he's like stammering and, glancing at, it FEELS like he keeps glancing at you, but, is he really?

------

I dunno... like I'm sure Valentino is gonna wind up being unstable in his own way but I guess there's a certain, ALLURE to Vox being a little bratty and whiny while also having these very VERY handy, actually quite scary abilities and resources 👀 like boy show me what that screen do 😫💦

[thedevilundercover]

I might write a fic that’s just Tim running around being a little shit.

Like imagine if Timmy started to go on like hacking forums in his teens bc he was bored and then he just became a little troll on the internet for shits and giggles.

It starts as a stupid dare one of his friends makes him, “I bet you can’t hack into the GCPD database” and Tim’s has had no fucking chill ever.

Then it slowly spirals until he becomes a well known troll on the internet. He has a distinctive tag with his hacking as well. He posted details important politicians doing shady shit, drug cartels, human trafficking gangs. Like every weirdo on the internet wants to kill him and Tim finds it hilarious.

He’s like a part time info broker for the criminal underworld

Until the red hood reached out to him for info and he seems weirdly familiar

Edit: I did write a fic abt this :)

Uhhh I gave timmy a gun so you're legally obliged to read about it now

[in-halingstardust]

Unexpected Situation

A/N: Hi hi, its been such a long time and no I'm not dead...Maybe my brain is. But! I am going to start openign up bullet requests again. I have a few requests to get through, but this was stuck in my head for a solid week. dom!caelus x gn!reader x sub!danheng Tags: semi public sex, deep throating, sub and dom dynamics, dirty talk, praise, dirty thoughts~, NOT Beta'd sorry I'm tired :,0

You wonder how you find yourself in these situations.

What situation you might ask?

For one, you only wanted to go to the archives to research information about Xianzhou's local flora and update the records from your last trailblazing.

Second, when you heard the faint cry of Dan Heng come through the archive’s doors, you were on alert. Dan Heng, stone faced though warm, one who never showed his true emotion outwardly, the one who would only talk when he was certain about every single word that would come out of his perfect lips, gives a another cry.

Third, when you slam the door open you are extremely embarrassed at the open debauchery of the Express' silly goober Caelus slamming himself into Dan Heng against the console. Pinned against the archive is Dan Heng, one leg up hooked around Caelus shoulder, the other flexed on the floor as he grips tightly to Callus. He sees you first and in shock gives a rather harsh hit against Caelus back, his only return was a deep thrust.

Dan Heng moans fill the chamber, and you turn deep red. Not out of embarrassment but because it was the hottest thing you have ever witnessed.

It didn’t help that you had massive crush on them both.

Caelus must have eyes behind his head. The next time, Dan Heng whimpers into the crook of his neck he tilts his head back. His eyes are molten gold heavy with pleasure that leads you to feeling extremely warm in your core.

"Hey close the door,” a smirk, “I know you want in."

So when you are on your knees in front of Dan Heng's pink, slightly longer than average dick, you can't help but feel your mouth water.

Caelus runs a finger over Dan Heng’s perky nipples, "Oh pretty boy aren't you excited that they are also here to join us? Tell her how thankful you are," Caelus echoes as he twists his nipples.

Dan Heng's dick twitches in the cutest way possible in front of your nose. You can't believe this is happening.

"I- ah, thank you..." Dan Heng trails off. A full blush on his cheeks as he looks down at you.

Caelus laughs as he retracts his fingers, "Sorry (Y/N), promised Dan Heng, I give him the best fuck of his life." A devious smile curls at his lips, "We can all fuck later if we want to, but right now it's all 'bout our little dragon." Caelus hums as he presses a kiss against Dan Heng's temple. It must have been a distraction since you see Dan Heng's little mouth pucker into an "o" with the filthy sound of Caelus entering him.

Dan Heng's cock swells with each thrust of Caelus, ruining his insides and you? There is something mesmerizing seeing Dan Heng on display. How the cold stone archiver makes so many cute noises right in front of you. He doesn't hide them no- he looks at you with desire and desperation.

He wants you as well.

Something filthy clicks in your mind as you attach your lips to the tip of Dan Heng's cock. Swirling your tongue around his head as your delicate fingers stroke the base.

It's adorable how Dan Heng squeals and moans, the smell of sex filling the room once again.

He only encourages you. Taking him deeper, sucking harder as you place one hand on Dan Heng's thigh to support yourself the other guiding his cock.

What a dichotomy between you and Caelus as you pop off Dan Heng to run your tongue along a fat vein, gently coaxing him. While Caelus ups his pace, squeezing his fingers against Dan Heng's hips in pure animalistic trait.

Another thrust, "Tell her Dan Heng. Tell her about how badly you wanted her here with us. How you wanted to have her lips just like this all over your wet cock." Caelus babbles as he continues to jerk into Dan Heng in turn making his dick go further into the back of your throat till it hits the back.

You can only breath as Dan Heng uses you.

Caelus doesn't stop spilling dirty secrets and you can't help but listen to what they want to do to you. It feels so warm and wet down there, but this is about Dan Heng, not yourself. So, when you breathe in through your nose to swallow more of Dan Heng. He gives a large cry. If it wasn’t for Caelus pinning his arms back and supporting Dan Heng he would of fell from overstimulation.

"Or would you like me to tell (Y/N) about how you wish they were underneath us, taking us both? How you want to touch them all over, how that our thoughts are too dirty, too impure, that poor little baby couldn't take it even though they are taking your monstrous dick like the good little angel.”

Caelus is going faster and faster. You need to keep your hands on Dan Heng's thick thighs to keep balance. You feel him in the back of your throat. He's trying so hard not to gag you. To not make this uncomfortable for you, but it's as his dick swells in your mouth, leaving it full and large.

"Fuck!" Caelus groans against Dan Heng's shoulder. "Don't tighten up like that, feels like you're squeezing me off."

Caelus is going faster and faster. The rhythm is lost as you three are only guided by instinct. He’s close you can tell with the way he swells, the veins as they run along your tongue. It’s a dream, being used like this, the smell, the two of them. Together.

You can't believe how lucky you are.

You feel the stuttering of Dan Heng's thighs and the groans coming from Caelus as he bites his lips, his hips losing its rhythm as he reaches his climax.

Dan Heng cups first. It fills your mouth and gushes down your throat in salty flavor in pulses. His eyes are closed as his hands hold your head still till, he is spent and panting.

Caelus is next as he moans spilling inside of Dan Heng, not even pulling out as he grips Dan Heng tightly to himself whispering sweet thanks into his ears.

You. You let go of Dan Heng's cock with a pop, letting go of his thighs. Your core is wet and hot, but it's not enough to make you feel you're lost in the stars.

Of course. They know this and it's not the end of the night <3.

[eldritch-spouse]

Kalymir and tactition reader? Sort of a brains and brawn situation?

[I enjoy this. "Big dumb villain and their smart assistant that's not paid enough"-core.]

He starts pacing around the table, always does, when something you say isn't to his liking.

" DON'T FUCK ME! "

Fortunately, you were hired to be the brains to his muscle, not to glaze his metaphorical balls.

" M'lord I'm fairly certain I couldn't even if I tired. " You eye him up and down, silently asking if he's done with his bitchfit. " Nonetheless, I believe this is no time to be aggressive. You'd do well to send scouts- "

" SCOUTS?! " He snarls at the top of his rather annoyingly large lungs. Some kind of battle axe flies over your head, decapitating baby hairs. You barely blink as it embeds itself into the wall behind you. " THIS IS BARELY A PROPER SETTLEMENT! I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS PIECE OF SHIT RESISTANCE POCKET- "

The King stomps forward on mighty talons, nearly swiping your pondering orb away as he gestures toward it with a fury of such might that it makes the muscles in his arms swell.

" LOOK AT THESE INSECTS! "

" Precisely. "

The demonlord looks as if his honest desire is to cut your back open and slurp the spinal cord out. Yet, in the midst of the anger constantly frying his nerve endings, is a tungsten carbide core of minimal intelligence that reminds him eviscerating you is a most terrible idea.

" EXPLAIN THEN, YOU MOUTHY CUNT. "

" I've been trying to do so this entire time. "

" THE FUCKING NERVE Y- "

" This resistance pocket- " You start, snapping your fingers repeatedly as if trying to garner a large dog's attention. " Is mixed and dangerous, m'lord. "

Although Kalymir is visibly fuming, he does listen.

You scroll through the field of view offered by the hidden summoned aid currently hiding in tall trees. It provides a top-down map feed of the location Kalymir's latest headache has been operating from. Currently, at least. People buzz from one side to another, not many in numbers but extremely well-organized and efficient, almost as if controlled by something.

" Notice there are more than just wrathful demons in the midst, this group employs humans and monsters, especially the less social of the bunch. The kind of monster you'd find hiding in darkened places, isolated but by no means uneducated. To gain the alliance of these monsters, one would need a surprising sense of- "

" I'M FUCKING SNOOZING HERE... "

Sometimes, you're the one that wants to maul him.

There's a tired sigh.

" Harmonious diversity equals no-no. "

Pause.

" I'M NOT A BABY, YOU SURFACE WHORE. "

" Putting that aside, I'm sure you've noticed by now, that they brandish weapons of ancient times. The very things that allowed the initial group to leave the Rings unscathed despite being hunted, not just in Wrath but in the territory of all the Lords you've made agreements with. "

" CELESTIAL WEAPONRY. " The warlord sneers, thoughtful.

" Yes. "

Kalymir shakes his head.

" YOU CAN'T TELL ME THEY'RE ALLIED TO ANGELS! MOST ARE DEMONS, YOU CAN'T BRIBE ANGELS INTO HANDING THEIR TOOLS OVER- " He slams both fists onto the worn and dented table, making your chair jump. " THEY'RE HARDLY EVEN SEEN. AND LIKE FUCKING HELL THESE PARASITES CAN KILL ONE! "

A smug smile tugs your lips. " But, my King, they don't need to be allied to angels to have those. "

Kalymir makes a rare effort to calm down, sharpened claws tapping at the same table. You can hear a heavy-tipped tail swing, the woosh mildly distracting.

" SPEAK! "

" The archives. "

You can hear the gears melting in his cranium.

" THE ARCHIVES... " He stands, mighty body straight as he beings putting two and two together. " THE ARCHIVES! "

You nod, arms crossing.

Not just any archives, the Royal Archives of Wrath, containing a litany of detailed instructions in old Infernal about how to dispatch different types of celestials. The same archives that guarded weapons of Eden stolen from perished angels, weapons that destroyed the limbs of the brave demons who managed to retrieve them, whose core names and sigils have been carved into the cases holding these artifacts. Those are the only celestial weapons left behind, as far as anyone knows. The type of material prize a lord of Wrath would die protecting.

" NO! " He barks once he realizes the first possibility that statement implies.

" Yes, my King. "

" NO ONE COULD HAVE BROKEN IN, YOU SNOT-BRAINED ANKLE BITER! "

Hm, that one's new.

He's right, no one could have broken in, he knows you know this, and the fact that you always seem one little step ahead of him is both infuriating to the King but also exciting.

" Correct. "

" THEN- "

" Who has access to the Royal Archives of Wrath? "

" I DO! I'M THE KING- "

" And who had access? "

As soon as you ask that, he falls eerily silent, pacing again, this time to the opposite display of weapons, subconsciously studying them as he thinks.

" IMPOSSIBLE. "

You recline on the chair, eyes closing. " Is it? "

" I BUTCHERED HIM! I HUMILIATED HIM. HIS VERY SKULL SITS ABOVE MY THRONE OF VICTORIES! "

" His offspring, my King. His descendants. " As far as you know, they were only juveniles when Kalymir murdered their father.

" ONE DIED IN THE CRUCIBLE... "

" The other...? "

Kalymir doesn't answer, he doesn't know. And neither did you, not until very recently.

You don't need to spell the implications out this time, he gets there on his own two synapses.

" YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. " The demonlord bristles, not because he finds the suggestion ridiculous, but likely because it's going to make things a lot more interesting.

" But I am. He can't show his face, it'd be too risky, but some dissenting demons still recognize and have followed him to the surface. He then seeks the help of monsters living in the margins of societies or straight up outside of them, safer options to utilize holy weapons. And not just that, these monsters muddle our understanding of the resistance's origins and goals, adding humans to the mix just makes it all more confusing. Many of the non-demonic members are likely under contractual obligation to do this too, I'd reckon. "

The King is silent.

" Think about it. You lost track of them a long time ago. This prince-to-be witnessed the death of his father, his brother, his mother has likely died of old age. He has nothing. Nothing but a sweltering desire to dethrone you. This is his doing. "

A cruel glint settles in your eyes, belying that there is room for your frigid coldness in the boiling Ring.

" Unfortunately, he must have been too young to properly absorb his father's teachings, because this is amateurish at best. A little bit of care and thought is all you need to nip his budding plans, m'lord. "

The King smiles, drags a hand down his face, chest heaving faster as a very thunderous bark of raucous laughter shakes the entire fortress. The clapping of meaty red hands accentuates how wolfishly delighted he is.

" YOU GLORIOUS, ROTTEN WENCH! HOW COULD I NOT HAVE SEEN THIS?! "

Yes, really, how did he not see this a mile away? He should have figured it out before you, you actually had to do research concerning the past ruler of Wrath.

Kalymir damn near sprints towards you, reaching over the table to grab you up by the collar of your outfit.

" LEAD ME TO HIM, STRATEGIST. TELL ME HOW TO GET MY HANDS ON THE WORTHLES TWERP. I WILL WEAR HIS BROTHER'S SKIN. "

" Of course, my King. I will lead you to victory as always. "

" GOOD. GOOD LITTLE HUMAN. "

You're dropped back down unceremoniously, feeling a creak in your hip but remaining composed. Kalymir is clearly getting overly excited over the whole deal, you can tell he'll be obsessing over it from now on.

" WE WILL MAKE A NEW CHANDELIER OF HIS BONES. "

Satisfied, there's a pep to the demonlord's step as he makes to leave, opening the great doors to his hall.

" AND ONCE THIS IS OVER, YOU- "

" YOU WILL SIT BESIDE ME AS QUEEN. "

[ang3lina-xoxo]

ghostface!chris + fem!reader

made by: ang3lina-xoxo only on tumblr!

authors note: i haven’t slept in days. (forgive me for any grammar errors, i’ll try to get better) ALSO i usually don’t use caps soooo…

also i might forgot fix a few things. so sorry if i forgot about that.

english isn’t my first language!! also this is my first fic so

!warnings: mentions of using a blade(knife), smut, shit writing. gaging, rough sex, edging, praise kink, chocking.

! ꩜₊ ⊹౨ৎᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

inspo: lil red on archive!

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ ─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ ─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ ─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ ─

when we are around the people we love, we feel safe, and we feel at ease. but, what do you do when the person you love goes missing when a murder is going around? and what if the person you love is the threat? who do you run to then?

when was the last ghost face attack? you can’t even remember, three years ago? maybe even four, but he’s back, and this time it isn’t a joke.

8:37 pm

you’re at the sturniolo’s house, although it’s quieter then usually is. the reason? Chris isn’t here. why? well that’s cause he’s all the way down in California for a modeling shoot, for fresh love of course.(or atleast you think) you don’t mind that he isn’t here, i mean you’re the closest to nick so it isn’t much of a problem.

you and nick sat on the couch, Trevor in between the two, as your eyes are glued to the tv screen, watching the news, which was odd because you aren’t a news person, you rather wait until it popped up one your fyp while you aimlessly scrolled, but this? this was different. this was specifically talking about the town you’re in, and how ghostface was back.

“could be some kid trying to be cool.” nick mumbled next to you, you didn’t have much to say so you just nodded in a agreement. nick reached out and grabbed the remote to the tv, he swapped the channel to a different news station but… the same thing, different reporters.

“alright, whatever we can watch a movie tomorrow, yeah?” nick sighed, looking at you.

“yeah.”

“alright the guest bedroom is free, like always. make yourself at home.”

“got it.”

11:32 pm

you slide on some pjs before walking down the stairs to the kitchen to get yourself a snack before you headed up, to your room. as you close the cupboard your phone begins to ring causing you to jump slightly. you let out a breath of relief and slight embarrassment realizing the noise was just your phone.
you pick up your phone dismissing the fact that it’s an unknown number.

“hello?” you answer

nothing..
“helloo?” you ask again moments from hanging up, when you hear a heavy breath through the phone. your body tenses up, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.


“who is this?” your thoughts immediately flooding with the murders happening in your town starting with a phone call.

the breathing sound continues until you hear a voice “you know who it is” a deep distorted voice vibrates through the phone. your breath quickens and you start to hyperventilate, your entire body shaking. you knew your luck would run out eventually, it was your turn to die now.


“where are you?” you say as confidently as possible, with tears welling up in your eyes. you look around yourself anxiously before running to the knife block to pull out your biggest knife for protection.

a deep chuckle rings through your ears “come find me doll, i’ve got a surprise for you” he taunts. you blink a couple times to clear your eyes and let fresh tears fall. you find yourself playing his game, searching for him. “can you see me?” you gulp dryly, as you slowly open the shoe closet.

(a shoe closet? great choice, champ.)

“of course i can love.” his voice cocky and horse, was it bad that you totally thought his voice was hot? maybe that’s an issue cause it’s a fucking murderer.

you searched aimlessly, as you slowly made your way towards nicks room to wake him up, when u here a raspy “stop.” your eyes flicker down to your phone, as you realize you weren’t on the phone, but the voice was in the same hall as you.

you’re about to scream when a hand is placed over your mouth, as a blade is pressed to your throat.

“walk.”

your hands wrap around his, trying to pull em off, as he drags you to the direction the guest bedroom.

the only sounds are your footsteps and your embarrassing whimpers.

his gloved hands travel up your arms gently touching your skin, you followed his movements with your eyes. his hands tighten on your neck/ throat signalling you to look at him.


your eyes meet again and your breath hitches at his cold gaze. he pushes you onto the bed behind you and you let out a scream (or tried to as it was quickly muffled but his hand covering your mouth.) at the sudden movement, he crawls on top of you and grabs the knife in one swift motion.

“we don’t want to wake them up now, do we?”

you shake your head no, in a desperate attempt to make him feel bad and go away.

he took the handle of the knife and trailed it down your body, leaving goose bumps in it’s wake.

he paused, leaving the knife on your lower stomach, as his hand slipped into his pocket, pulling out a black blindfold, his other hand pining you down. your sense of vision was quickly taken away, but you felt the handle of the knife trail lower and lower.

now, if you said you weren’t worked up, that was a lie, and he could tell by your body language.

his other hand hooks onto your waistband before pulling them and your panties down your legs. he then slid the knife lower, and lower.

he then flipped the knife and caught it by the blade, before pressing the handle onto your clit. you squirmed with unexpected pleasure letting out a small whimper at the touch.

“you’re absolutely fuckin’ gorgeous.” he coo’s. “yeah?” you questioned, your voice dry and raspy.

“yeah..” he answered immediately.

fuck, this was too good.

he slowly slides the handle down your folds and pushes it into your cunt, twinges of arousal shot though your core, you bit your lip containing a moan while your hand found your way to his bicep. Chris chuckled at your grip on his arm and pushed it into you again deeper this time making a loud moan fall from your lips. quickly overwhelmed as he repetitively pumped the knife inside of you slowly and teasingly as he admired you beneath him.

you bit your lip to stifle your moans.

chris quickly noticed and smirked, “good girl, don’t make a sound.”

you felt the knife pull out of you, as your legs are forced open by the nudge of his knees. chris dropped in-between your legs, of course you didn’t know this as you were blind folded. he placed his hands on the back of each thigh, as he pulled your legs onto his shoulders. “fuck, you’re stunning, ma’”

his hands could practically leave bruises by the way he was gripping your legs as if he was holding on for dear life.

he pressed a kiss to your core, causing your back to arch slightly after this, he fucking ate you out, praising you with his kisses.

(i have no idea how to write someone getting eaten out so uhhhhhhh)

as you reached your climax, he just had to stop there, before the sounds of a zipper being undone, and a belt falling to the ground is heard.

he lined his tip, running it against your sensitive folds to tease you, a small groan escaping his lips as he pulled away, suddenly you could feel all his inches getting pushed into you at once, without giving you a moment to get used to his size, he pounded into you, leaving you at his mercy as you tried not to whimper or moan to receive more of his praises.

“fuck, sweetheart…. you’re so perfect…” he whimpered

you whine hopelessly, in half pain half pleasure.
“take it.” he says through gritted teeth. chris’s gloved hand slides over your throat roughly squeezing the sides, almost immediately making you lightheaded. his other hand squeezes your hip roughly.

both of your moans flood the room as he fucks you senseless.

“such a good girl.” he whimpers. his hand travels from your neck to your mouth, sticking two fingers down your throat, making you gag, your eyes squeezing shut as he rode you though your high. Chris slows his pace, still catching his breath. he slides his dick out of you, he plants a small but loving kiss on the back of your head. “keep your head down, doll.” he says your eyebrows furrow at the odd request but you oblige.

a couple seconds pass of silence. “can i put my head up now?” you ask impatiently, muffled through the pillow.


silence. you sit up and look behind you only to see your empty bedroom, and his ghostface mask on your bed.

oh, and, chris is home early.

…………………………………………………

AHHHH this is absolute shit i’ll try harder in the future, trust.

[spacebarbarianweird]

How would Astarion be if his darling was a Mestipholes Tiefling? Like, first time they see his back THEY CAN READ THE INFERNAL ON HIS BACK… And their face just drops. And when they suddenly snap back to reality they have a newfound hatred for Cazador?

Hi! I have a ton of requests from you and I haven't started any of them :-( I am so sorry and I promise I will eventually get to them!

As an apology, this is a headcanon straight after your request! Besides it's been a long time I've made anything more or less classic.

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Mephistopheles Tiefling!Tav

You weren't born to Tiefling parents.

You are an abnormality, a payment your family paid for mingling with devils.

Orphaned and abandoned, you've been traveling this world all on your own fearing to make friends even among your own kind.

You know a lot of dark and secret magic but prefer not to use it.

The hells scare you.

You see a relative soul in Astarion. Abandoned, lonely, scared.

You didn't have time to notice the scars on your first night together but the moment you open your eyes you see his back.

"What is fuck" is your most modest reaction.

You immediately read to him what it's there. And you also it's a pact with the devil.

The devil you sort of belong to.

You warn Astarion not to have business with Rafael or his father. 

And not to pursue the ritual.

He huffs all the way long, and lashes at you but you keep insisting.

Astarion doesn't know what the conditions are. He has no idea what Cazador and Mephistopheles agreed on.

He is a fucking magistrate, he must know how dangerous it might be!

If he doesn't want to be stuck in hell for eternity, he must not pass the ritual.

In the mansion, you are sure Astarion will ascend.

He doesn't. He doesn't want the infernal chains to enslave him.

But you also know this. If Astarion wants to become mortal, the solution is probably in the hells as well.

You spend years researching and traveling. Years spent in each other's arms.

Your blood is a bit spicey to Astarion's liking but it also provides him additional warmth. 

He loves pulling your tail in public which is the equivalent of putting a hand into someone's trousers.

And also grabbing your horns when you make love. 

He loves every part of your hellborn body, every small detail.

And you enjoy the coldness he provides.

Finally, you think you've found the way to make Astarion mortal. 

You need to go straight to hell.

Unfortunately, it's a dangerous place even for a vampire...

... And he is killed.

His death devastates you. Makes you want to kill yourself. 

And you do something you would never think of doing.

You make a pact with Mephistopheles. You ask him to return you Astarion in exchange for a lifetime in servitude.

The devil does his part. Astarion awakes at your feet, dizzy and scared. 

Only when you both come back to the material place do you realize that something is wrong?

Astarion's eyes are green, not red.

Alive.

He is resurrected. As a mortal.

His body is warm, and he can walk in the sun.

But Astarion isn't stupid. He knows his life came with a price.

When he learns about the pact, he gets angry. You've never seen him like that.

Angry like a devil.

When he calms down, he gives you his word. He will find a way to set you free from the pact.

Your soul won't belong to the Mefistopeles. 

Unfortunately, the lifespan of tieflings isn't really long. You eventually die. At the ripe old age of 115.

And your soul is immediately in the devil's claws.

You wait. You serve. You hope.

Elves live for centuries, Astarion will find a rescue for you.

Even if your soul immediately fades away the moment it's free, you know for sure.

You will see Astarion once again.

---

@tugoslovenka  

@herstxrgirl 

@herdarkestnightelegance  

@vixstarria 

@not-so-lost-after-all  

@marcynomercy  

@theearthsfinalconfession 

@starlight-ipomoea    

@micropoe10 

@astarion-imagine-archive  

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress  

@fayeriess  

@lumienyx  

@tallymonster    

@caitlincat-95  

@tragedybunny  

@valeprati  

@lynnlovesthestars   

@marina-and-the-memes  

@waking-eyes   

@ayselluna  

@connorsui  

@asterordinary  

@darkarchangel96  

@locallegume  

@brainfullofhotsauce   

@coffeeanddonutscafe  

@my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen 

@queenofthespacesquids  

@ednaaa-04  

@dajeong

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfics - Hogsmeade

Words: 935

@wolfstarmicrofic

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

“Any plans for the weekend, Moony?” James asked pointedly.

Sirius cursed him internally and then cursed himself. Why on earth did he decide to tell Peter ‘Has-Never-Kept-A-Secret-In-His-Life’ Pettigrew about his tiny crush on Remus? James had known about it less than a day later, and several weeks on, James was getting impatient, which was exactly why Sirius hadn’t told him in the first place.

Remus looked at James for a moment, “Not since the last time you asked.” He said with a small frown. “Is this your way of asking me to Hogsmeade?”

“And if it was?” James asked with a grin that Remus didn't like the look of at all.

“Prongs, be serious.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” James muttered, and Sirius kicked him under the table. “Ow! Fuck you, Padfoot! I mean, I’m serious! Go to Hogsmeade with me.”

Remus was looking more and more concerned, he looked to Pete and then to Sirius, but they seemed as baffled as he was. “As mates?”

“Sure, if that’s what it takes to get you there.” James shrugged.

“Is this some convoluted attempt to make Lily jealous? Because I can tell you right now, it won’t work.” Sirius wanted to smooth the crease between his eyebrows. “I’d honestly just planned to stay here and read. It’s going to snow.”

“Hogsmeade in the snow is very romantic!” James grinned, “I’ll buy you a hot chocolate.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “I have no idea what you’re trying to do, Prongs, but sure. I’ll go to Hogsmeade for hot chocolate.”

“Wonderful. Does Madam Puddifoots take reservations? I want to make sure we get a good table right by the window so we can watch the snow.”

Sirius choked on his coffee, and Remus instinctively rubbed his back until he could breathe again, without even looking at him. Sirius stood up and left the table without a word.

“Ok, what’s going on?” Remus asked.

“With Padfoot?” James said innocently, “No idea. Maybe he’s jealous because he doesn’t have the balls to ask someone to Hogsmeade.”

Remus sipped his tea. “Oh. Who did he want to ask?”

“Unimportant.” James gestured vaguely towards the doors. “But what is important is our date.”

“I don’t think I agreed to a date,” Remus said.

“Nonsense. Of course, you did.” He looked at Pete, “Didn’t he?”

Pete said nothing, fearing that if he opened his mouth, he’d say something that he’d regret more than he already regretted telling James.

“You’re being weird.” Remus frowned at him. “I’m going to go and see if he’s alright.”

“Fine, abandon your boyfriend!” James said dramatically.

Remus scowled as he got up from the table, “Fuck off.”

“Well, you started strong.” Peter said as they watched him walk away, “But then you fucked it up in a fairly huge way.”

“Ah, the story of my life, Pete.” James went back to his toast as if nothing had happened.

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Sirius had taken the map and was nowhere to be found before classes. The next time Remus saw him in Charms, he mouthed ‘You okay?’, to which Sirius nodded stiffly before turning away from him. Remus considered that maybe it wasn’t James. Maybe he’d done something wrong. He went back over breakfast and tried to piece together anything that might have made Sirius upset. Sirius had kicked James under the table, but Remus couldn’t remember what James had muttered to prompt that. Maybe James would know.

As they filed out of the classroom, Remus grabbed James’ arm and dragged him into a side corridor. This did not go unnoticed by Sirius, who couldn’t believe his eyes. He pushed past Pete and raced back to the dorm before his feelings started leaking everywhere.

“Moony, we haven’t even been on a date yet!” James teased.

“Why did Sirius kick you earlier?”

James paused, “What?”

“At breakfast, you said something and he kicked you.” He leaned against the wall. “He’s upset about something.”

“Yeah, it’s probably the Hogsmeade thing,” James said nonchalantly. “Like I said, probably jealous.”

“Well, that makes no sense. Pretty much anyone would agree to go with him if he asked.”

“Oh, believe me, Moony. That’s what I’ve been telling him!” James smirked, “I also said ‘If you don’t ask soon, someone might beat you to it!’.”

“Must you be so cryptic?” Remus rubbed his temple. The moon was less than a week away. ‘All the more reason to have a nice weekend planned’, James had said to Sirius a few days ago.

“Ok let’s go through the facts.” James did his best Professor Binns impression, “One, Sirius could get almost anyone to go to Hogsmeade with him if he asked. Two, I told him that if he didn’t ask soon, someone else might. Three, he left the Great Hall in a huff after you agreed to go to Puddifoots with me.”

“I didn’t agree to— wait, what?” Remus froze, “Go back, you think that’s why he left?”

“You are two of the smartest people I know, and this is possibly the most frustrating thing I’ve ever gotten myself involved in,” James said with a smile. “Maybe you should ask him.”

“Ask him why he left or… ask him to Hogsmeade?” Remus said quietly.

“I imagine one will lead to the other.” James shrugged. “Do insist on a table by the window though. It’s not actually any more romantic but when it’s icy, you do get to see more people fall over.”

“You’re something else,” Remus said with a laugh before walking away.

“And just like that, our work here is done!” James said as Pete came round the corner.