#i mean if i suffer hard enough
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yudol-skorbi · 1 year ago
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manic pixie dream gunslinger
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canon-gabriel-quotes · 7 months ago
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These will just keep getting worse, btw.
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perenlop · 6 months ago
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im abt to rb a post on this anyways but tbh i dont know how you can finish isat and go “siffrin wasnt punished enough”.
the fella has killed themselves several times, what more do you want from him?
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beastking-golion · 3 days ago
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Saw a fic about vastaya Viktor and if you ask me he’s definitely a bird (or salamander if you wanna super angstify him- cough cough Rio cough).
#dex talks#league of legends#arcane#can apply to both#viktor league of legends#viktor arcane#league vik building himself a second wing so he can finally fly#the bird vastaya weve seen only have 1 wing but I mean vik is vik if he can’t fly naturally he’ll make it himself#he’d also get those cute long ears too so that’s always a bonus#have those sticking out of his metal helmet like two antennas#he could use his wing as a cape like how xayah n rakan do#one naturally clawed hand and the other a powerful prosthetic attuned to his magic bloodline#could make his desire to create robots even more founded in grief as he lives long enough to see suffering never change- at least not-#without interference#as for arcane vik he could be born weaker than most vastaya due to zaun chemicals#maybe have those hollow bones birds do making injuries especially perilous#an ousted loner vastaya family stuck by the fissures and disconnected from their tribe#jayce’s interest in magic particularly sparking viktor’s interest because his vastaya blood has somehow not born him any natural magic#his lack of magic being a reason the council tolerates him because he’s not technically a mage if he can’t use it#or really heimer took pity on vik and used his lack of magic to convince the council he wasn’t dangerous (after already hving to argue-#through him being from zaun)#as a vastaya vik shouldn’t be decaying and dying so rapidly making his desperation to live even stonger#feeling like his entire life was set up for failure and after finally being able to use (hex) magic after secretly trying his whole life#either bird or salamander/gecko like the oovi-kat#meeting rio as an oovi-kat would prolly be even more heartbreaking#they’d have a near literal kinship lol#IDK BRAIN STORMINGGGG THINKING THINKING SO HARD#I’m crazy about league and arcane rn help me lord#plus the vastaya are some of my favorite species of runeterra so…#arcane spoilers
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yellowocaballero · 1 year ago
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So fucking glad to see someone talk about SSS Class revival hunter 😭 I lived it so much and I feel like no one ever mentions it against more popular titles like ORV or even The Lout of the counts family, so I'm so glad to come here and see your amazing takes :>
Thank you for the ask which lets me talk about SSSCRH (the version I read was titled 'Suicide Hunter', which tbh I like more - no beating around the bush).
It's hard to draw an accurate comparison since I'm going off just the webtoon for SSSCRH, while I'm going off both the webtoon and the webnovel for ORV. And I love ORV, ORV is my media blorbo right now, it hydraulic presses my brain, I am writing ORV fanfic - it's, like, funner to enjoy. But SSSRH is just better. In the vast majority of ways it is is better. It's better than the holy trinity by a wide margin. TW talk of suicide obviously.
I can't believe I'm saying this but you need a basic understanding of Buddhism in order to understand SSSCRH. It's not about Gongja's suicides - he doesn't suicide from depression or lack of self-esteem. SSSCRH is about suffering in the Buddhist sense - dukkha. I don't want to make this an essay, so I might reblog this with more information, but extremely shortly:
The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism is the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. You've heard that Buddhists say 'life is suffering'. To put it one way that doesn't require defining a lot of words: the cause of suffering is experiencing the world as we percieve it instead of how it truly is. Suffering isn't just being miserable and in pain, and life isn't suffering because life sucks and global warming exists and people voted for Trump. Life is suffering because we can experience beautiful and joyful moments in this world, but we do not exist in the moment of that happiness or place our ego/'self' between us and that happiness. Living in that moment, accepting the moment as it is unconditionally, is freedom from suffering. The Buddha tries to free people from suffering through teaching Buddhism.
"What does this have to do with the webnovel and manwha about a guy murdering himself thousands of times" it has everything to do with it. Because SSSCRH is about suffering, and it is about using suffering as a tool in order to experience a world unfiltered by ego and break down the artificial boundaries between human beings. Suffering in SSSCRH is not a bad thing. Gongja has the unique capability to (reincarnate.) experience a person's suffering in unity with them, which dissolves the delusion of separation between people and puts us in touch with the reality of oneness.
The Murim arc was fucking insane because Gongja pulls a Big Bodhisattva Move and walks through the suffering of the world in order to achieve full understanding of the human experience. He takes all of the suffering of the world into himself and is liberated. You can tell it's Buddhist because death was not presented as a bad thing - death was an aspect of a happy ending for the Heavenly Demon lady, because she was finishing her life according to her own joy, and because her teachings were passed on she did not truly die.
But the purpose of embracing suffering is to discover the ability to fully embrace life, and that's where Heavenly Demon's teachings were incomplete - as the ghost dude said, Gongja hasn't even experienced his own full life and the infinite capability for his own happiness. You can only feel the depths of sadness when you've felt the depths of happiness. Sadness deserves its place in the world and it can strengthen you, but so does happiness.
Gongja is attention-seeking, envious, and unbelievably petty. When he drills down into his own desires and why he wants the things he wants, you see that he has a very strong sense of justice and right and wrong - he realizes he doesn't want to be famous, he wants to be acknowledged, but on an even deeper level he is desperate for love and to be loved. Everything he does is to experience love, and as such he learns to love others. His love for the Flamey Asshole was purely parasocial and ego-filled, with no concern for who he was as a human. Throughout the manwha, he grows to care for people as they truly are and pierce through any delusions or misleading outward appearances. He has released all attachment to life and death, and as such does not fear death, and as such has taken a step on the road towards becoming a Boddhisatva who frees others from the cycle of samsara, and as a result has learned sick sword techniques and is sooo good at beating people up.
I think the only other thing I want to mention here because otherwise this is an essay: in almost every time loop/regression story, only the final regression matters. In stories with dungeon monsters and NPCs, only the humans matter. The regressor exists in a space where there are no consequences for their actions, so they act terribly and do whatever because none of it matters. In Groundhog Day Bill Murray acts like an asshole because he can. That's not the case here. Everything Gongja does matters. The NPCs are fake, but Gongja never treats them as anything less than real people who deserve life. Once he understands a person's life he never treats them as unimportant. No loop is thrown away and no person or life is disregarded. His choices matter, the way he treats others matters, and Gongja never treats anybody as if they don't matter except for himself.
That was not short. There is a lot more. The female characters are so good and so rich. From a craft perspective it is excellently paced and has a wonderful sense of set-up/payoff and balances tone and maintains a lot of momentum, which is really hard in a time loop story. You have to do a few very specific things to write OP characters well and SSSCRH does it very well. There's more to say from a craft perspective and it's hard to judge accurately from a webtoon but it's good. I was so strangely struck the entire time about how sincere and genuine it was, how it said what it said with no trace of irony of confusion, and I think that's what stuck with me the most.
TL;DR: SSS Class Revival Hunter is good for a lot of very normal reasons, such as excellent pacing and set-up/pay off and characters, but it's also so sincerely and genuinely Buddhist that it blew my tits clean off.
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iknowicanbutwhy · 7 months ago
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Puyo/Madou, meet ISAT. ISAT, meet Puyo/Madou. I'm sure you have everything in common and this is not at all a completely random crossover of my two current interests
#dont look at Salde for rhe love of my sanity do not even percieve Salde i dint kwno what ifmf doing g#art#fanart#ISAT#puyo puyo#in stars and time#madou monogatari#kitscribbles#sig puyo puyo#schezo wegey#arle nadja#ringo ando#sig really do be sig no last name#prince salde#their ages are different in this one. oldest to youngest - schezo > arle > sig > ringo > salde#you see that stubble on Sig thats baby stubble. thats unfortunate facial hair on a teenager#sometimes it works out for people still in their teens but not sig#Ringo is!! Perhaps a bit too young to travel!! She's basically a foreign exchange student#i have to admit all the roles and dynamics in ISAT are NOT 1:1 in this AU#i have it all mixed up#when i say sig and schezo are besties i mean theyre both awkward with people they just happen to have an understanding. also sig bullies hi#Sig is he/they here!! I dont usually mess with canon genders (hella respect those who do) but honestly i just like it for Sig...#I still need to learn more about Salde but imma just go ahead and say that Salde is kid gender#Was tempted to hide Sig's lil hair thingies under his hat but then was like. Why would i do that#favorite joke in all this is that Schezo tried so hard to Change that he fucked up his own speech patterns and now socializing is. well#sig didnt shave before the loops and now he has to do that every time or suffer the teasing of his friends at some point in the house#thanks guys im going insane over here and youre laughing. going nonverbal now#How does Salde balance a fish on their head? uhhhhh well you see. have you ever balanced a massive bag of frozen peas#Salde doesnt cook but there's money in that fish. Nobody feels comfortable enough to ask a kid for cash but they WILL reward good behavior#in puyos and time
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eightspringdays · 23 days ago
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You know what has always seemed funny to me is that Mello has some kind of relation with fire (the explosion and then the fire in his death), and at the same time, his real name is the same one of the arcangel known for having a flaming sword (even tho never stated in the bible but he's represented with one in almost everywhere for interesting reasons but no one gives a shit about that)
which i totally think is a stretch of my part because based on platinum end, ohba's vision of religion is almost the equivalent to the opinion of a 15 yo edgy incel that likes reddit too much
but still funny to me. it's also funny considering the name literally means "who is like god?" because, technically speaking, michael will never be like god, he's the protector and fighter. his name is almost the statement "no one will be like god" which I think is funny considering that the one who tried to be like god was cast out to hell, like u know, the good-looking angel that in some depictions is actually a very manipulative entity that convinces some angels to get into his side and fight with him and was defeated by this said arcangel
that's very funny to me
#i could go on and go about this but yeah no. i do like a lot the meaning of his name and what represents#the atheism in platinum is so bad it almost made me go catholic again. it's a reddit atheism (“god is like santa claus���)#i really really like all the meanings and how you can play with mello's real name if you try hard enough and aim for the stars#near's too. if you do the same. and i WILL. putting the catholic knowledge in action.#alsoo it's so funny to me that in paradise lost (not bible canon but still very VERY really known) Michael is a lil bitch.#he's the one who casts adam and eve out of eden and he's like “MAYBE if SOMEONE hadn't eaten the FRUIT” which I think is very mello coded#he's like sad for them like two seconds and then he's like “lmao this happened because u're stupid” and points and laugh#technically not that but shush. he is still like “dude. adam. it's fine u can make ur life out of here..stop crying lmao”#it's like dante in the divine comedy when he's sad for people at first and then in like the third circle he's like “hahaha stupid”#“you're suffering? GOOD. this is what you get for being GAY. i dont give a shit your suffering. do you know what's happening in Florence?”#satan in paradise lost to the other angels is like “aren't you tired of being nice? don't you wanna go apeshit?”#“the other day saw god drinking the last of the milk and putting the carton back in the fridge :/ idk man doesn't sound too heavenly to me"
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quietwingsinthesky · 8 months ago
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the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?
to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.
#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they#already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that.#but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did.#and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe.#but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people.#a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part?#but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt.#anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here#theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never#escape.#i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord.#but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s#physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering…#but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong#its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know?#i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond#their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!!#what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly*#human!!!#enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one.#does that make sense?
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cent-scratchnsniff · 2 months ago
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progressing through the myth of sisyphus again
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#netzach#netzach lobcorp#obligatory drawings. ive had the book since my freshman year in highschool but never ended up finishing it due to how its worded and the#structure of it.. i need to be in a very specific state to be able to focus. mostly for reading in general but even more so for this#i have done parts though. never in its entirety which is a shame its a very intriguing read. hopefully i can finish it and then reread to#fully process. it is just 138 pages after all. its just so Dense... enough of book shit though. LOBCORP!!!#living hurts but the body yearns for preservation and people want to Live. to live is such a crucial want even if the self doesn't recognize#it on its own. everything in the flesh is designed to try and keep you alive. pains to eat the signals to drink the fear of hurt and pain#the automatic jerk when pain is experinced. the signals to show pain. yet living hurts. to survive hurts. so to sleep#to numb the pain to go through escapism to shut your eyes. general ideas. to see such a thing addressed and spoken about and acknowledgement#of pain and how it gets to that point was very stunning to me. it felt so real. seriously its hard to Not consider such a thing and its#rather scary? moreso when one doesnt have the words to explain or able to see such a thing experinced. it felt amazing? to see such a thing#Wanting to Die yet not to Die and to live but living hurt so much and so to get by and for the pain to Stop one does anything to soothe it#suffering is tiring. suffering hurts. its empty yet its excruciating. the want for it to stop and to not be there and experince it anymore#be it through various means or to the extreme to force it so that Nothing Else could ever happen to you. even pain. ahh nuts not quite just#lobcorp its just ramblings in general somewhat related since i didnt reread the exact dialog lately.#anyway skethcy drawings yay... i am fine currently its not super bad as it was earlier just a fatal flaw of thinking a lot (rip)
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sovonight · 8 months ago
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why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now
#drawing up a design that i can easily pattern from my sloper: 😊#actually having to make the pattern by tracing and cutting ad infinitum: 😰#piecing together printer paper to get a big enough sheet of paper and doing this ten million times: 🥲😭#not to mention the IRONING.... prewashing the fabric and having to iron 8 yards of fabric???? excuse me????#and then distorting it as i iron bc it has a slight stretch and i got so tired i stopped being careful 2 yards in#and the way that you're supposed to press every seam... excuse me... am i just supposed to have my iron heated and on standby at all times#AND THE STEAM??? i just got stay tape the other day and thought it'd be a neat alternative to stay stitching#BUT IT NEEDS STEAM TO ACTIVATE (which okay makes sense) BUT long story short i'm too afraid to use the steam function#on my iron because none of us are sure if water should go back into a tank that's been in disuse for 30+ years#so instead i get this water spray pen and delicately spray down the length of each piece of stay tape#before i cover it with a piece of gauze and iron it. and then i have to iron it extra so all the water actually evaporates#oh and the spray pen holds as much water as half a pen so i have to walk to the kitchen every 10 sprays to refill it#and i have to do this for every curved edge on my pattern pieces#i mean the alternative is just stay stitching but then i would have to calibrate my settings for a single layer of fabric instead of double#which means i have to switch my needle out more and i'm still new enough that sometimes i install a needles wrong despite going through#all the same exact motions that i usually would. i'm LITERALLY suffering out here. anyway can't wait to sew or whatever#oh and did i mention i went to a sewing meetup recently? yeah...#everyone there bought like $30-$100/yard fabric and i was there awkwardly knowing i only buy like $12/yard fabric#honestly though i have the opposite problem people usually joke about. i find it So hard to find fabric i actually like#it needs to be the right fiber + right color + right pattern/texture + right weight + i have to know exactly what i'm going to make with it
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eyefocusing · 1 year ago
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fluffy fireflight is finally done!!!! it was really fun to work on a new sewing project, its been a couple years since i did much besides mending. and even tho this fabric was a huge pain to worth with it was totally worth the trouble. hes soooo fluffy. fluffy flighty
based him on the seeker pattern by @milk-sharks, but a bit smaller and with some small alterations (wing shape, tail fins, added a nosecone, probably some other things i forgot). im thinking abt maybe taking it even smaller and making keychain-size versions of the other aerialbots? aside from silverbolt. i dont think a concorde would be very compatible here lol
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alberichfanpage · 5 months ago
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The torch has been passed to Bree; she will not fail to become the Lord of Frenzy.
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myrquez · 7 months ago
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whole ass english vocabulary could never express in full sentences how unbelievably tired i am of all those people who keep trying to put pedro and marc against each other or, even WORRRSE, try to drag pedro into the rosquez great war like. THAT is a baby. that’s a newborn baby, leave him alone he needs to know peace, why making all this fuss about some dumbass quiz shit on dazn
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cloudd-nyne · 8 months ago
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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no-light-left-on · 8 months ago
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thinking still about how the Heart calls the Whalers 'puppets' and the amount of mystery there is around them, when playing as Corvo and perceiving them through the Heart, in comparison to how they are in reality.
we see them talk to each other in a manner any people would. they consider insubordination, they talk badly of Daud behind his back, we have Billie betray him. there are some that are loyal, yes, be it because they believe in Daud or because they see gain in this path, but by no means are they a monolyth.
however, we do hear from the Heart about a 'fog that surrounds them and hides their secrets' and it is even confirmed, by Billie (and also Galia in the books) that leaving Daud made them 'think clearly for the first time in years'
I've seen a couple theories and I do want to dive into each, to an extent.
there's the suggestion of the Heart talking badly of them, calling them mindless drones that only kill out of hatred and hurt. which, valid. the Heart also says certain things about Daud, 'why did you bring me here? do you expect me to forgive him?', so it's not unlikely that their attitude towards human lives and their willingness to kill for Daud is repulsive enough that the Heart does not see past it
another option is that the mindless puppets is more of a metaphor and is meant to talk about how the Whalers are, in a sense, a cult. which would be incredibly interesting to explore if we had more information on how the Whalers function. now I do want to point out that by cult I do not mean it in a Secluded Religious Organization but as a sociological thing. a literal cult if you will, with a leader that charms their followers, the seclusion and all the unhealthy attitudes of losing oneself to the group. and, that does check out - the loss of individuality, they are as one, following someone's orders without hesitation, someone they would die for. there are a lot of unsavory implications here (if you know how cults work, you probably had some cross your mind already), but arguably Daud is not charming enough to be a proper cult leader. the appeal is the magic, and his excellent skills as an assassin and a leader. maybe it's because of the time we see the Whalers at, right before a collapse, but Daud is regularly doubted and we see a lot of insubordination. the Whalers are not necessarily loyal to him because of who he is as a person. they want the power, they want the influence, maybe the protection, and the things keeping them from disobeying are fear, rather than loyalty.
the third thought or theory is, then, that many of these symptoms can be explained by the influence of the Void. we know the Void affects people, both physically as we see with Delilah's Witches or the Eyeless, as it influences them mentally, if the high numbers of people going mad because of their worship are something to go by. if, then, the Whalers are bound to the Void through Daud, it only makes sense that they would be influenced by this link to something that messes with people's brains. Galia saying she feels better after her Arcane Bond faded could easily mean that the influence the Void had on her has faded, and the creeping madness of it has subsided significantly.
all of these most likely come into play. one of the Heart's lines in dh2, if we point at a Witch, is reciting some of the recipes the Witches chant before quickly apologising. we do learn significantly more about them than we do about the Whalers, of course, possibly because Jessamine has more ill will towards the Whalers than to the Witches. still we see the Void affect the Heart. there is also a notion that the Witches are 'not quite human' due to their Arcane bond.
there's no real conclusion. it's just interesting
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veatomis · 6 days ago
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Would it. Be too diabolical if i put lucanis in the tailored to elio version of the regret fade prison.
#varric is still making it into the regret fade prison he's just not the main attraction anymore#neve... so sorry bestie but i dont think her relationship with elio is good enough for her to have the kind of impact the prison requires#harding.... maybe. she and elio were better friends the problem is as a crow idk if he would be that sentimental#about her sacrifice. like i could see him explain it away as her choice#viago is obv making it into the regret prison. elio regrets tarnishing house de riva's reputation#he regrets putting viago in such a tough spot. he regrets looking to viago for familiar ties even if it was a bit long ago#elio's twin luar might make it there too. regrets trying to force a deeper bond with them even tho they were obv not that interested#also in a fucked up way. he comes to regret not being able to help minrathous more because it hurt luar's best friend#neve rather than just because it hurt neve period. (+ it forced luar to take sides and they chose neve so...)#there are also some more nebular regrets idk how to include just yet. elio following the crow's path and using his body to get info#during contracts even if it means he has to suffer thru pretending to be a woman.#elio knowing his ex loves him but choosing his own methods of doing contracts over said ex and causing them to break up#the kind of person elio chose to be. the kind of personality type he's boxed himself into (jokester/shoulder to cry on/defers to his#superiors/doesnt shoot above his station) and how he cant escape that anymore#and the most diabolical one. how elio regrets thinking he could ever find a family within the veilguard#and how maybe he even regrets falling for lucanis (elio did NOT get the dessert thing. he's operating in a lucanis#doesnt reciprocate his feelings wavelength) and how him being so pushy mightve led to lucanis being turned off#from pursuing him while also adding unnecessary stress onto lucanis
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