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Can I request headcanons for Zayne, and Sylus react gn s/o who always makes it a habit to tell him that they love him whenever they can like when they wake up, before going to sleep, before they leave, and when they return?
Hearing you say such sweet and simple words like I love you at any and every given moment will never not warm his heart, ever.
Sylus could hear you speak the words softly against his chest, right where his heart is when you wake up, almost as though you were whispering secrets to it in such a loving and caring way that it only made it race within his chest and swell with warm emotions within moments of you saying such tender and powerful words.
‘I love you Sylus, stay safe and don’t do anything stupid.’ You’d tell him as you kissed his forehead, pulling away only to rest your own head against his to stare into his crimson eyes, crimson eyes that stared back at you heavily with love and utter adoration as he chuckles. ‘I wouldn’t dream of it my love, for whom shall warm you in bed when I depart?’ He’d ask jokingly.
‘Mephisto.’ You’d reply jokingly as the crow could be heard squawking confusingly from his corner of the room, head tilted to one side.
You brought or perhaps revived a warmth Sylus thought was long buried within his chest.
You brought it forth so easily that he couldn’t help but find himself wanting nothing more then to rush his business meetings just so he could hear you run towards him, burry your head into his chest as you embraced him while telling him how much you loved and missed him; almost as though the confession weighed heavily upon your tongue like it was something you had to admit to before you couldn’t anymore.
He loved how much softer and sweeter the moments before you both drift off to sleep, the last thing he hears is you saying you love him in a sleepy mumble, face buried deep into his chest as sleep encased you both whole. It was a moment he repeats when you’re far away on a mission, knowing damn well he wouldn’t be able to sleep without hearing your voice, not after having gotten use to it after your short stay in his home.
Sylus has become accustomed to you being in his home, with him and blessing it with your warmth and personality. So to have to endure a week without you was enough for Sylus to reach for the phone and call you just to hear you tell him you love him, to know that even if there was distance between the two of you that the love between you was still as strong as it was when your both together. Sylus had grown accustomed to you sharing your thoughts and inner most emotions with him, with you always kissing him on the lips or wherever you could reach and whispering;
‘I love you’ afterwards before going about your day as though you didn’t leave him wanting to keep you locked in his arms in your shared bed, to drink you and your early morning look as you both partake in sharing your warmth, lost in one another as everything else fell away for it didn’t matter as all that truly mattered was love of your life that you held in your arms.
I love you was a strong word but your version of I love you was to say that you loved him after every moment, and in the end he found himself whispering ‘I love you’ against your forehead as he kissed it softly, holding you closer to his chest protectively before you fell into peaceful slumber together with a content smile upon his face.
Stylus was complete for his other half was welhere they belonged; in his arms.
Zayne would feel as though he was back to how he felt when you first admitted your feelings for him each time you reminded him of your love for him.
His smile upon his lips was soft and gentle, his eyes were equally so as he felt light on his feet and his heart sang your name so dreamily even long after you leave his sight.
They were words that one shouldn’t say lightly but when you say ‘I love you Zayne, I’ll see you when you get back from work to watch that new movie together.’ Zayne truly believed he could hear the angels sing as he finds himself walking into work with the goal of going back home to you.
Something of which he had once thought was never going to happen even in a million lifetimes, but he had found himself blessed to even be sharing a bed with you in this lifetime.
‘I love you Zayne.’ You’d whisper softly against his lips after pecking them multiple times, wanting nothing more than to wake your beautiful doctor with some much needed affection, all the while watching the fluttering of his eyelashes as he opens those gorgeous eyes of his to look at you sweetly.
‘I love you too my dearest.’ He relies in his morning voice, rubbing his hand softly up and down your back as he brought you into kiss your temple.
Those three words only made Zayne feel as though the progression of your relationship thus far was more than worth the longing and the pinning he has to endure in silence. Even though you did tell him there were moments where you knew he felt something towards you that went beyond platonic and into something far more romantic and genuine.
‘I love you Zayne’ were words that lived within his head constantly, even if he didn’t show it sometimes he couldn’t help but find himself wanting you to say it more and more.
Was it selfish? Yes but Zayne couldn’t help it, he wanted to hear you say it for as long as he possible could, for he knew he could never get bored of hearing you say it as it was something he had been waiting for all this time.
It was like two long lost souls finally finding each other again after so, so long. It brought a weight off of his shoulders and Zayne was more than anticipating where your future would lead you, especially if admiring to your love for one another was going to become easy as breathing.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#love and deepspace imagines#love and deepspace imagine#lads imagines#lads imagine#lads x reader#lads x you#lads x y/n#sylus imagine#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x y/n#zayne imagines#zayne imagine#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n
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Made to Be - Extra IV
Read Made to Be here | ~1.8k words
From me: I was just thinking about them (probs because I'm always thinking about school. This take place sometime between January and the second extra (pre-baby stuff). This is just a really quick little thing until I can write something of merit. I believe I'm almost caught up at work. I think I might be able to write something more substantial this week 💕 Thank you for being patient and kind.
Warnings: none, fluffy cute stuff.
Summary: Harry's not the only one who thinks she was made to be a teacher.
May
“I think we should outlaw field trips,” she mumbled sitting beside Harry in the front seat of the bus.
He chuckled. “It will be fun, kitten,” he assured her.
“Fun for you maybe. You got the good group of kids to chaperone.”
“I’ll give y’group a lecture before we split up, angel,” he promised. Harry snagged her hand from her lap and gave it a gentle squeeze. They tried not to be overly affectionate in front of the students because they didn’t want it to be weird...not that it was weird. But it was definitely something in their eyes. “Y’know they only gave y’a tough group because y’can handle it and they love you.”
She sighed. “I know, I know.”
They were dressed comfortably for the history museum trip. Business casual that made Harry think she was modeling for teachers in textbooks. She was so pretty it made his heart skip a beat.
She had been telling Harry how excited she was to go on the trip up until she got the names of the group she was chaperoning. She was especially excited because schools always got great discounts for museums that she generally hated to pay for. But not even the group rate was enough to make her enthusiasm spike. She fiddled nervously with her engagement ring dangling on her necklace. Harry truly outdid himself and wearing the ring on her finger in the city made her nervous so she opted for the necklace so she could tuck it away safely. (But she assured Harry the thought of taking it off made her feel naked.) Until it was tucked away, Harry smiled, self-satisfied as she twisted it on the silver chain. That pretty diamond glittering in the sun coming through the window of the bus made him so happy. The little symbol that they’d be together forever. She was made for him. He was certain.
He almost forgot he was supposed to be comforting her. It was loud behind them. Not excessive, but when forty something students chattered in an enclosed area, it always got a bit loud and also didn’t help his train of thought. “They’ll pull it together for you,” he draped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. The kids would have to deal.
“Aw!” Someone droned. Her cheeks heated briefly but Harry turned in his seat and glared so that the sound was cut off quickly.
“Jus’ show them all y’favorite things,” he shrugged.
“My nightmare is losing a student on a trip,” she sighed. “This is so stressful.”
“They’re not little ones, m’love,” he reminded her. “They can wander a bit and they’ll be okay. S’not like they don’t all go to the mall on their own and whatnot. Plus, I’d never let y’take the fall for losing one of them. We’d find them. M’sure a lot of parents wouldn’t either. But s’not going t’happen.”
She nodded. Then she sighed heavily and squeezed his hand back. “You’re right.”
“Mm, music t’my ears,” he grinned.
“Don’t push it.”
*
But Harry was right. Her group of students who were usually a rough and tumble kind of bunch really got into the trip. At first they were quiet, almost shy. But she acted as if she didn’t notice and told them all about the exhibits they encountered and explained as much as she could. She did her best to connect the displays to their own lives so they would care more.
As such, they walked right along with her and forgot their shyness. They asked intelligent follow up questions after she explained what they were looking at. They followed all her directions and even asked her for more information about the information she told them as they walked through the rooms. She was going to boost their grades when they got back to school with bonus points for being so good and learning at the same time.
The relief was exhilarating.
About part way through the morning, her group of eight needed a bathroom break. She waited outside the bathrooms and checked her phone for any kind of emergency. Harry texted to check in on her, so she answered to let him know how good her group was and how happy she was to be on the trip again.
“School trip?”
She looked up instinctively, the lanyard around her neck was the only thing that marked her as an adult in comparison to her students. Her slightly shorter frame didn’t compare to the boys she taught who often towered over her. She thought she usually looked the part of being a teacher. She felt it was written on her face (or maybe it was the headband with the Treaty of Versailles printed on the fabric and her pencil earrings that gave it away). The man before wasn’t one of her coworkers but he had a lanyard around his neck from a school she hadn’t heard of before.
She nodded. “Oh yeah, drove an hour in,” she cleared her throat awkwardly.
“Same here. About an hour and a half. You’re a history teacher as well?” He asked.
Her students were still in the restroom, so she cleared her throat again and nodded. “Yes, World History.”
“Same here, where are you in the curriculum right now?”
“We just finished up the Industrial Revolution. About to start Imperialism.”
“Fun stuff! You know, one of my students heard you talking about the Enigma exhibit. Said I left out a ton of information that you seemed to know a lot more about.”
She chuckled. “I see, sorry about that,” she smiled politely. “I get a little too into Bletchley Park.”
“Don’t we all.”
“Miss,” one of her students said suddenly appearing from the bathroom with two others. She glanced toward the men’s bathroom but didn’t see any of them just yet. “Can we pop into the giftshop?”
She glanced at her watch. “I think we have time for that, scope it out before everyone else at the end of the day. We have lunch in about an hour.”
“Are you all eating here, in the food court?”
“I think we’re eating outside,” she said. “Nice day and all... I think the boys are coming out now,” she smiled at her student. “Nice meeting you. Enjoy the museum,” she ushered her students toward the men’s room and sighed.
“Was he hitting on you, Miss?” She whispered.
“Shh.”
“Okay, queen,” she giggled. “Are you going to tell Mr. Styles?”
“He wasn’t hitting on me.”
“Miss,” she laughed. “He was so hitting on you.”
“I didn’t—”
“Who was hitting on her?” One of the boys asked.
“No one—”
“That guy.”
“Oooh, he’s cute. Wait until Mr. Styles finds out he has competition.”
“Miss, I think we have to intimidate him,” another one of the boys explained knowingly. “It’s what Mr. Styles would want.”
“Oh, my word,” she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Can we go to the giftshop?”
*
“Everyone please look in the seat next to you and check if the person you travelled with on the way here is still here! We’re doing a final headcount as soon as we’re all seated.”
“Mr. Styles!” One of her group members sang. She glared at him briefly with her best teacher stare before she sat facing forward in her seat. Harry squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.
“Yes? Didn’t y’torture m’fiancée enough today?”
“I would never torture her! But your fiancée got hit on by a guy by the bathroom!” He shouted.
The resounding oohs from the entire bus made her blush. She looked straight forward at the seatback in front of her. “Really?” He smiled and glanced down at the pretty girl beside him.
She shook her head. “He was not flirting.”
“Course he was, Miss! You’re a total catch!” The girl in her group called back.
“She’s right, y’know,” he winked at her knowingly, his voice was low. Maybe only one or two students heard Harry say it and they were kind enough to giggle and not make a scene of it or embarrass her further. “Alright, alright, head count!”
She stayed put while Harry walked up and down the aisle. When he returned to the front, he told the bus driver that everyone was accounted for and they could go on their way.
“Hiding your affair from me?” He winked.
“Shut up.”
He chuckled and grabbed her hand from her lap and brought her fingers to his lips briefly. “S’no surprise, really.”
“It’s probably because my ring was inside my shirt.”
“Lucky ring,” he hummed.
“Harry,” she hissed.
“The man has good taste, kitten,” he shrugged. “M’not surprised at all.”
She sighed. “I wasn’t hiding it from you. I just didn’t want to make you jealous. I don’t want you to think you have anything to be jealous of, you know?”
“I know, I know,” his voice was so kind and soft. The way he sounded when they were falling asleep. It was quiet and warm. If they weren’t in front of forty something students, he probably would have held her cheek and kissed her the way he did every night. Would have traced her features and told her how much he loved her. “You’re jus’ so pretty, so nice, so lovely that anyone with half a brain cell can see it from across the room,” he assured her. Her relief was massive. The idea of hurting Harry’s feelings or betraying his trust was one of her worst fears. She pulled the necklace from its spot and twisted it again and Harry’s smile grew. “God,” he shook his head. Then he squeezed her hand three quick times. She squeezed it back four times in succession. Both knew what it meant. A not quite secret that they loved each other.
She was always grateful for Harry coming into her life. The day she left her old school and got her new job was so scary and sad. In hindsight, she would have told herself in her first year of teaching that a new school was in her future, and she was going to meet a man that was everything she wanted and more.
Someone who was made for her.
“What?” He smirked. The sun was setting and bathing the bus in a soft golden light that only highlighted how handsome Harry was.
“Just thinking about how jealous I would be if a girl flirted with you on a field trip. You have way more kindness than I do.”
“Oh, don’t worry, kitten,” he mumbled and brought his mouth to her ear. “M’going t’show you how crazy the thought of another guy chatting y’up makes me later. Remind you that y’don’t need anyone else. Ever,” he promised and pressed a chaste kiss that did not match the intensity of his words.
Her cheeks warmed once more but she smiled. Shaking her head she squeezed his hand three more times.
--
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♡21:40♡
Pairing: Poly! Ateez x Fem! Reader
Genre: Super duper fluffy
Warnings: some mxm, pet names, reader is very sick
A/N: Hope you guys like this as much as you like the texts 🥺💕 tho ngl the ending is a bit meh. Anyways likes, replies and reblogs are so appreciated!
Tagging: @faeprincess777 @starygw3n @bee-gremlin @pinkpearlstar @sweetinsaniiity (if you wanna be tagged in my next poly ateez story, texts or not then please let me know!)
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
You were sick.
Like very sick.
You had been for a while and you really thought it would just go away after some time and with a few cups of good tea. However it was just one of those times where it didn’t and it lead to where you were now.
Flopped on the couch after a long days of work so sick, tired and weak to the point you didn’t even take off your shoes, let alone take a shower.
You knew you should’ve taken the day off and even more so you should’ve informed your lovely 8 boyfriends of your condition. However it was so busy for not only you but your boys this time of year. Your job really needed you around and the boys had to be on their A game.
Not like they weren’t always were. Those boys are so admirable when it comes to their work ethic and determination. It’s one of the things you love about them. It’s just this time of year is when they really have NO room to slack off. So you didn’t have the heart to tell them.
You barely see them around anyway, as they come home late and you leave early. You couldn’t bare the thought of them having to deal with you when they’re already so busy with work, no doubt dealing with so much pressure and stress. Even though deep down you knew they wouldn’t care and would drop anything to make sure you’re okay.
‘Cause you would do the exact same thing.
About an hour after you practically passed out on the couch, Yunho and San arrived home.
Thankfully they were able to get all the work they needed to get done super quick today, so they got home much earlier than usual. As they walked into the living room thats when Yunho spotted you.
He chuckled at how cutely you looked and then pointed you out to San who awed at you. They thought you just got home too and decided to close your eyes for a bit.
“Princess we’re home.” Yunho called sweetly.
“Come on now silly butt, get up so we can shower together.” San said with a big smile at the thought of relaxing under the shower with his lovers.
However you didn’t respond.
They both pouted and furrowed their eyebrows as they got closer. You were asleep? That’s quite unlike you. They knew how much you love a refreshing shower after work then to change into one of their hoodies. Were you that tired?
“..sweetheart?” Yunho said as he crouched down next to the couch. He softly moved your hair out of your face to check up on you.
Just from that very soft touch alone he was able to tell how hot your skin was. His eyes widened and as he looked at San with worry.
“Baby you’re sick??” He asked surprised as he looked back at you wondering how he and the rest had no idea.
“What?” San questioned softly as he crouched next to Yunho.
He then places the back of his hand properly on your forehead. His eyes also then widened with worry as there was no denying it.
You were incredibly sick.
Their hearts clenched at how they truly had no clue how sick you were, how much you needed them and how you didn’t tell them..
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
Yunho: Guys. Come home. Now.
Seonghwa: what why? What’s the matter?
San: Princess is sick. She has such a high fever and from the sound of her breathing her nose is stuffed. She’s literally passed out on the couch rn and god knows what other sicknesses she’s having.
Wooyoung: WHAT?! She didn’t tell us anything! 🥺
Yunho: I know and at this point that doesn’t matter rn. She needs us. Hurry.
After they sent the texts to the rest of them they quickly got to work.
As Yunho picked you up softly and carried you to bed, San prepared a small basin filled with cold water and some towels. As Yunho was undressing you, San brought in the basin and they both started cleaning you as softly as they could.
Truly not long after they started, they heard the front door open and peeked in Jongho, Seonghwa and Wooyoung.
“How bad is it..?” Jongho asked as he softly entered the room with the rest.
“..bad..” Yunho muttered.
Seonghwa then carefully approached you and placed his hand on your forehead too and almost gasped.
“She’s burning up.. Oh God our poor princess..” he said as he softly ran his hand through your hair.
Wooyoung then approached Yunho with a hoodie from their closet and your shorts.
“Thank you love.” Yunho said softly as he gave Wooyoung a kiss on the head and started dressing you as soon as San was sure you were dry.
“Seonghwa hyung and I are gonna go make her some soup. Yeosang is already on his way home, Hongjoong hyung and Mingi are going as fast as they can to finish recording. They’ll be home soon..” He mumbled to the two who arrived home first.
“Okay.. I’ll go help you cook too, you two will watch over her?” San asked
“Yeah of course.” Jongho confirmed as he sat down next to you and softly stroked your hair.
Yunho then nodded as he gave wooyoung another kiss and sent him on his way.
“You’ve eaten Yunho?” Seonghwa asked.
“Uh.. no not yet hyung. We got take out but we haven’t eaten it yet...” Yunho explained as his eyes trailed back down to you.
“Hmm alright.. I’ll make Sannie eat then once he’s done you can eat and San will watch over.” Seonghwa said as he reached over to grab his hand.
“Alright hyung.. thank you..”
“Of course.”
With that he gave yunho’s hand a comforting squeeze then gave jongho a sweet pat on the head before leaving to join the others in the kitchen.
“Could she really not tell us she was this sick..?” Jongho asked softly still stroking your hair.
“I.. don’t know.. we’ll ask her when she’s awake and feeling better.” Yunho replied as he sat down on the bed as well softly holding your hand.
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
As they continued to watch over you, after a while they heard the front door open and some muttering. Soon the door to the room opened again revealing Yeosang.
“Oh princess… she looks so pale..” He muttered as he made his way to her. “Has she not woken up yet?” He asked as he stood beside Jongho.
“No.. we should just let her rest before we wake her up to eat.” Jongho replied.
“Hmm. I bought some medicine on my way home.. Hopefully they’re enough.. if not we can take her to a doctor…” Yeosang informs the two boys as he placed the medicine on a nearby table.
“Thank you Sangie..” Yunho said before continuing to ask if the soup is ready. And right on cue, Wooyoung popped his head in again.
“Soups ready. And yunho baby, Hyung wants you to eat now.” He said.
The lovers in the room then nodded.
As softly as he possibly could, Yunho began to wake you up.
“Princess.. princess.. wake up please..? We need you to eat and take some medicine…” He said oh so softly with some extra soft shakes.
“Baby..? Baaaabbyy..” Yeosang also called out to you.
Your eyes soon started to flutter open as you take in your surroundings. You however closed them again quickly as the headache in your head began.
“Ugh..” you groaned
“Oh baby what is it..? Your head hurts..?” Jongho who was still stroking your hair asked.
You could only nod.
“Honey bun.. do you think you can get up..? You need to eat..” Wooyoung asked
Slowly you opened your eyes again and finally realized your sweet boyfriends were home.
“Wait.. you guys are home? So early..” You muttered, voice so hoarse it made everyone frown.
“Yes we are sweetie.. we’ll talk about that later.. now we should get some yummy food in that belly okay..? Do you think you can get up..?” Yunho replied then asked.
Your head was still pounding and as much as you wanted to try, you knew its best to just stay, so you softly shook your head.
“Okay I’ll tell hyung, come Yunho you still need to eat.” Wooyoung then said as he retreated back to the kitchen.
Yunho didn’t really have an appetite after seeing how sick you were and he wanted nothing more than to just stay and make sure you’re okay. However he knows his boyfriends and even you will scold him if he doesn’t eat. So with that he gave you a soft kiss on the forehead and got up to go eat.
“I’ll be right back okay..? Jongie and Sangie will be right here.. Eat well darling.” He said to you before leaving.
You could only nod back before looking back at your boyfriends.
“When did you guys get home..?” You asked
“Yunho hyung and San hyung got home first and found you.. told us and then I, Wooyoung hyung and Seonghwa hyung quickly got home after that. They just finished cooking your soup.” Jongho explained.
“Hmm I just got home, and I’m pretty sure Mingi and Hongjoong hyung will be home any minute.” Yeosang added.
You then hummed before Seonghwa and San came into the room carrying a tray of a big bowl of soup and some of your favorite tea.
“Hi our darling..” Seonghwa greets you as San puts down the tray in your lap softly.
You weakly smiled at them and began to open your mouth to greet them however Yeosang cut you off.
“Shhh.. don’t talk to much pumpkin.. your voice sounds so hoarse… your throat must be very scratchy and painful hmm..?”
With a soft sigh you nodded.
“Okay then.. lets get some food in you okay? Can I feed you?” San asked
You made some gestures indicating that you could do it yourself however they weren’t having it.
“Let us take care of you. You’re extremely sick okay? Your pouting game will not work tonight honey.” Jongho said
Of course you were outnumbered so you just sighed and opened your mouth to let San feed you as the rest began preparing your medicine.
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
Once your bowl of soup was almost empty, the front door was opened and the footsteps of the last two can be heard. Said two as quickly as they entered the house, quickly entered your room guilt, concerned and sadness evident in their faces.
“Oh princess…” Mingi said as he walked closer
“Baby.. oh you finished your food, good girl. Medicine?” Hongjoong praised then asked with a pet to your head.
“Right here.” Seonghwa said as he gave you the medicine to drink.
Wordlessly you took the medicine and drank some of your tea.
“Okay.. good… How are you feeling now darling?” Hongjoong asks.
“..better..” you said as softly as you could so you wouldn’t harm your throat even more.
“Thats great love..” Mingi said.
Soon the last two that were missing from your bedroom entered again and were pleased to see you finished your food as well. Now all of your boyfriends were here and sitting somewhere in your bedroom.
“Sweetheart..” Seonghwa started as he sat beside you holding your hand. “Why didn’t you tell us you weren’t feeling so well..? You’re so sick.. this must’ve been going on for a while… and none of us had a clue?”
You took a deep breath before carefully replying, being mindful of your throat. “We were so busy… I.. didn’t want to distract you… a-and I thought It’d get better on its own..”
“You still should’ve told us princess.. you know we would’ve taken some time off to help you get better… and you should’ve taken time off yourself.” Yunho chimed in.
“I didn’t think you could afford to spare some time… and my job needed me..” You pouted looking down playing with seonghwa’s fingers.
“Darling… you hurt us… do you not know we’d stop time for you if we could? You know we literally would do anything for you… We 100% would’ve figured out a way to make sure our work still gets done and be able to take care of you… like we always do. I’m sure you know that..” Mingi said.
You looked up at him to see nothing but sincerity in his eyes. As you looked around, you see sincerity in all their eyes.
“I do… I just.. I don’t know… I just really didn’t want to be a bother. I don’t want you guys to be more stressed than you already are and if I caused you guys to fall behind th-“ You were cut off by Wooyoung shushing you.
“Nope. No. You would never be the reason for that. We would never blame you and you know we would reprimand anyone who thinks that. Sweetheart. You’re our precious girlfriend… you would never be a bother to us.” Wooyoung said full of reassurance.
“Baby… We understand. You wanted us to do well and you were worried for us and wouldn’t want to add more stress or something. However like everyone here has said. You’re no burden. No trouble. And especially no bother. We love you and want you healthy and happy alright?” Hongjoong said as he stroked your hair.
You all looked at them and softly nodded. Heart filled with love and you give them a smile that they find so precious.
“Alright. No please promise us you’ll tell us if you’re sick? Even if it’s just the tiniest cough or sneeze, you’ll still let us know? And yes we’ll promise to do the same.” Seonghwa asked.
“Promise. Now all of you cuddle me to sleep please?” You said with a pout and arms out.
Everyone then let out a soft chuckle and nodded.
With that, they got to work to cleaning up your dishes as San scooped you up and carried you to the master bedroom where that room is specifically for big cuddle sessions. and other stuff 👀
San tucked you in as he got in beside you. Soon enough loud footsteps can be heard as a couple of them (Wooyoung, Yunho, Mingi and Seonghwa) were racing to be on the other side of you. Which ended up going to Jongho as he slipped in while the others were still fighting by the door.
Eventually all of them got into a comfortable position.
“I love you all so much.” You mumbled softly into the darkness.
“We love you too our love.” Mingi said softly.
“Get some rest.” Said Yeosang.
“Tomorrow we’ll make you an even better soup!” Wooyoung then exclaimed loudly.
“Sleeeeppp!” Jongho groaned.
With that you all kinda giggled with each other a little bit longer than you would like. Making sleep not as easy but you all really wouldn’t have it any other way.
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
© mimikittysblog 2024
#poly ateez#ateez x reader#ateez fluff#kim hongjoong#park seonghwa#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#song mingi#jung wooyoung#choi jongho#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#san x reader#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader#hongjoong fluff#seonghwa fluff#yunho fluff#yeosang fluff#san fluff#mingi fluff#wooyoung fluff#jongho fluff#mimikittysblog
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SUGAR-DADDY!NAMJOON who offers you flowers whenever he sees you. whenever you had a planned outing, whether it was a simple trip to the shops or dinner at a restaurant somewhere in the city, the truth is that before you left the house, you would place a bouquet with the most beautiful and colorful flowers there were. you could call Namjoon a gentleman, an old-fashioned one indeed, but that didn’t stop him from carrying out his ritual. it’s just that, secretly, Namjoon counted the time away from you through the withered petals of the flowers he offered you. without you knowing, he bought the same bouquet for himself, placing it on his kitchen counter and consulting it whenever he got home. sometimes the flowers would fade overnight and Namjoon didn’t have any plans for you – but that didn’t stop Namjoon from staying away from you. after all, you didn’t need to leave those four walls to have a good time. “i know it’s short notice, but do you want to go out to eat? we can go to that museum opening before we go home.”
SUGAR-DADDY!NAMJOON who likes to have long conversations with you all night long. talking to you was like listening to odes from the most talented poets in this world. it was incredible how your perspective on the universe was able to captivate Namjoon. you could be talking about your day, complaining about little things that made you tired of living; you could be discussing an artistic vision of the same book you were reading; you could talk about all the probabilities that existed in the stars – it didn’t matter. with you, the words flowed like the freest rivers in the world, falling in a waterfall of enthusiasm, forming a small lake of fascination in Namjoon. having you there, with you lying next to him, your head resting on his torso, your hands spraying Namjoon’s skin with the tranquility that only you could provide – there, in that moment, Namjoon swore that both of you were one poem. “tell me about your day. tell me everything you liked and tell me what you want to repeat. talk to me and tell me how your day was and how it only started to make sense when we met.”
SUGAR-DADDY!NAMJOON who has a personal chef cooking breakfast when you slept in his house. when you spent the night at Namjoon’s house, he wanted to enjoy every minute of it. as much as he enjoyed falling asleep with you in his arms, he had to confess that he felt better when the first rays of sunlight peeked through the window and welcomed you to a new day. it was at that exact moment, before the day really began and everyone went their separate ways, Namjoon truly enjoyed your company. rubbing his face against your skin, wanting some of your essence to stay trapped in him, Namjoon pressed you closer to him. for some reason, it was in you that he found the strength to get through the day. as such, every minute was precious and he would enjoy every second of it – even if he needed to hire someone to make you breakfast. “just five more minutes and i promise i’ll let you go. let me enjoy just five more minutes. that’s all i need. you are all i need.”
SUGAR-DADDY!NAMJOON who gifts you your favorite artwork. visiting museums and galleries had been a norm in your relationship. going to as many openings as you could, scouring the country and world in search of new pieces of art, you and Namjoon enjoyed each other’s presence as tornadoes of emotions and messages surrounded each smile of yours. in the vibrant colors of each painting, you and Namjoon discovered new feelings; in the forced curves of each sculpture, you and Namjoon discovered new beauties; in the tenderness of each word exchanged, you and Namjoon shared eternal moments that would forever be blessed by the most ethereal gods. and to immortalize what was already glorious, Namjoon made a point of thanking your company by offering you the paintings and sculptures that had caught your attention. “what do you mean you don’t have space in your room? i know you want to turn down the painting, but all i’m hearing is that you need a new house with more space. tuesday we can start looking at some houses.”
SUGAR-DADDY!NAMJOON who loves to give you designer clothes. sometimes, the parcels that appeared at your house were so rare that you had to turn to the internet to decode that shirt or belt. often, the parcels that appeared at your house were from a collection so recent that you felt invincible when you wore them. every time, the parcels that appeared at your house had a note written by Namjoon to remind you that, even if you didn’t ask, even if you didn’t even know, he would always take care of you. you just needed to accept it and Namjoon would give you the world. “see it as an early birthday present. you don’t have to thank or reciprocate. this coat is for you. use it when we go to lunch on saturday.”
SUGAR-DADDY!NAMJOON who makes a point of giving you a kiss when others are looking at you. Namjoon enjoyed your company, it was obvious. as such, Namjoon liked to take you to work parties or friend gatherings or really anywhere where you could show off the new outfit he had gifted you. wherever there was an event that called Namjoon, he was quick to hold your hand and take you with him without any prior notice. these nights of get-togethers seemed divine in Namjoon’s company; there was something about his laugh that tied you to the moment; the way he spoke to his acquaintances made you curious to know more about all subjects, even though he had already told that story to you; the way he looked at you, eyes bright and bathed in tenderness, erased everything that was happening around you; and the way he kissed you, slowly, softly, right on the corner of your mouth, teasing you just a little, made you wish the day would end. “patience. we haven’t greeted the birthday boy yet. i promise just one more hour and then we can go home.”
SUGAR-DADDY!NAMJOON who introduces you to everyone as his ‘special person’. e v er y s y l l a b l e of these two words was marinated with the most intense pride in the universe; ea-ch--tim-bre of these two words was intoned with the greatest fascination of the cosmos; those two words were Namjoon’s favorite words. ‘special person’. yes, he could have said that you were his partner or even a friendship that had been going on for years; of course, but all those words were empty. and you were special. you were special to Namjoon and he wanted everyone to know that. and that’s why he introduced you with pride – how lucky he was to find someone as amazing as you; that’s why he named you with fascination – how lucky the universe is to have someone as divine as you; that was why ‘special person’ sounded so good when uttered by him – how lucky you were to be the only one blessed by the gods. “if you don’t feel comfortable, i can call you something else. but, honestly, i don’t think anything i would call you would equal the importance you have in my life.”
#!BTS bouquet꒱₊˚ᰔ.#kimnamjoon#bts#namjoon#btsarmy#bangtansonyeondan#army#bangtanboys#bangtan#namjoon x reader#namjoon x you#namjoon fluff#bts namjoon#bts x reader#namjoon fanfic#namjoon oneshot#namjoon scnearios#bts fanfic#namjoon fic#namjoon fic recs#namjoon imagines#bts fic#bts rec#rm x reader#rm oneshot#rm fluff#rm x you#rm scenarios#namjoon smut#bts smut
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Is that all? Anne didn't know what she expected, but it wasn't this. It wasn't the relieved chuckle he gave, as though she had told him a meaningless secret. Anne knew he was kind and caring, that he was likely to forgive harsh words or foolish mistakes, but her past with George was too heavy to brush off. And it was becoming too heavy to burden as well.
He rambled on, confiding in her his own childish misgivings, and yet it didn't help lessen the guilt she felt for keeping so many secrets from him. She had lied to him about who she was. She had made a contract to never speak of her past, to erase Annelise from the face of the earth lest she condemn her sisters to a similar fate. But keeping such a thing from someone she loved was slowly killing her.
“Yes, b-but you are a man. Y-You’re not expected to remain pure and untouched. As a woman, I…” She shook her head, trying to make sense of the situation. Did he not understand the severity of her mistakes? Did he not understand how much a thing mattered? It had been part of the reason she'd been forced to leave home at sixteen, forced to erase her past and start over. She offered a sad smile, hesitant to believe the worst of it had passed.
“Ben, I…” She wanted to tell him everything, to bare herself to him in her entirety. To pull back the layers of her façade and show him the scared girl that lay beneath. “I do not deserve you.” It’s all she can manage to say without breaking down.
Her brows knitted together at his words. Did he truly think his time in the war and the hardships he endured made him less worthy of love? For Anne, her mistakes were nearly unforgivable. She had maimed a man, scarred him for life because she'd foolishly wielded a blade in self-defense. And it that weren't enough, if she were to ever find a husband capable of looking past her clouded past, it would not change the fact that she would always be tainted. If she bore his children, they would come from an impure womb, no matter how much she loved and cherished her husband. And furthermore, George was still out there, bloodthirsty and vengeful.
“I want you, Ben. But there's more. I-I’ve not been entirely honest with you..." Gently, she pulled away. She didn't want to cling to him, not when there was a chance he might push her away when he knew the full truth. She wouldn't be able to handle a wound that deep, so she pulled away on her own and hoped her legs would be strong enough to carry her.
Anne closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This was the tipping point. This was where the test of their love either flew or plummeted to the ground with a deafening crash. He had excused the horrid words she'd said to him in a moment of anger. He had been kind enough to look past her lack of virtue, but she was about to admit the extent of her façade and, with it, the extent of her sins.
"My real name... is not Anne Wynter. It’s Annelise Sophronia Shawcross." Her own name felt foreign on her tongue, like a dead language that had been killed nearly a decade prior. She hadn't uttered her birth name since she left home. The last time she'd said it aloud was when she whispered her goodbyes and her grievances into the crashing waves below her on her sudden departure to the Isle of Man. She hadn't spoken her name out loud in almost ten years and a part of her worried she never would.
"When I was sixteen, I gave my heart--and, foolishly, my body-- to a monster, a-and I have been paying for it every since." Speaking the truth aloud felt cathartic. It felt like a weight was being lifted from her chest, but now she was at risk of being swept away in her lies. "I was sent away, exiled from my home so that my sins, my crimes, would not spur a scandal that might spoil my sisters’ prospects for marriage. In the eyes of my family, I do not exist, Ben. I am more than just a tarnished woman. I am a fraud, a liar. I am a ghost." With a shuddered breath, Anne rose her eyes to look at him. "And I do not deserve your love, Ben. Selfishly, I want it, but I know I do not deserve it. I do not deserve happiness."
The air grew increasingly thin, leaving him winded and dizzy as her mouth sought his, sweetly forbidden within the pale moonlight.
“I promise you I have never wanted anything more in my entire life,” she whispered.
Her words were a reassurance, a comfort, and with a boyish little grin, Benjamin had to look away in order to calm the frantic thrum-thrum-thrum of his pulse. It suddenly felt like much too much, and yet he wanted more, his limbs trembling as she nudged her forehead into his and anchored him close.
"But..."
The uncertainty in her voice brought his excitement to a screeching halt, his brow creasing as he sought her gaze within the unforgiving dark. "But what?" he asked, his timbre just as shaky as his breath.
Anne pulled away, placing her hands over his chest as a sort of barrier. She appeared haunted, sad, and his heart pounded as she cautioned, "Ben, you should know, I..."
She trailed off again, making him ever anxious.
"What?" he pressed. "What is it?"
To his alarm, the silence continued. Anne was completely overcome, her body starting to shake in his embrace. She took a deep breath, then blurted, "I-I'm not a virgin. I understand if that changes things. I do not blame you if you no longer wish to continue... I just thought you should know. That I'm not quite as pure as you might think I am. That I am a tarnished woman."
For a long moment, not a word was uttered. And then with a breathless, relieved little laugh, Benjamin squeezed her arms and pressed, "Is that all? Truly?"
Drawing her hand to rest over his heart, he splayed her fingers across his chest and kissed her brow. "Anne, I am not untouched either," he confided. "My best friend convinced me to pay a woman to introduce me to pleasure -- and on my sixteenth birthday, no less -- so it was a horrible, mortifying experience, and one I never wish to repeat. But you..." His gaze softened. "You are precisely what I want. Before we met, I was overcome by darkness and despair and loneliness, and I genuinely believed it was all I deserved." Fervent, he nudged his brow into hers. "I don't care who you've been with, or what you were -- I only care about who you are now. And seeing how I, myself, am quite tainted -- from war, from hardship, from carnality -- it hardly seems fair of me to hold you at fault... Not when we share in that same sin."
Withdrawing again to look at her, Benjamin tenderly cupped her face. "What you are could never be tarnished to me. You're the other part of my soul."
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okay no wait, I'm so curious your thoughts on the elvis mythology! I'm trying to think of an example haha. anyway, thank you for that food for thought. your takes on elvis are so interesting and kind of a different perspective than I normally see
Thank you! That means a lot because I do love going into his psychology and thinking about how he thought about things. And I love being able to engage with Elvis stuff from all different angles!
I can think of a few - like there will be people who were close to him who make such absolute statements about him: he refused to wear blue jeans, he hated eating fish, he loved eating peanut butter/banana/bacon sandwiches, he was afraid of germs, he wouldn't sleep with women who were mothers. But not all of those are true for him 100% of the time, or they seem to be big outliers where no one else has reported anything like that. And as you read more, you can see moments where he behaves differently than these big eccentricities that people pin on him, and you have to think about why that might be. You pick up little clues that you can put together to figure out what he meant. Did he have an almost pathological dislike of blue jeans because they reminded him of his childhood poverty, or did he just tell one of his band members that because he had made a brusque joke about the guy wearing blue jeans in front of a bunch of people and wanted to find a way to apologize without apologizing? Was he covering up behavior he was ashamed of, or was he revealing the real shame that drove him to look his best and make sure his entourage looked their best too? Did he actually have an aversion to women after they had given birth (unlikely, since he had relationships with several mothers), or did he want to give Priscilla a reason for avoiding her that she couldn't work around, knowing that she always went overboard trying to change herself to get his attention and getting rid of things she thought were coming between them (his spiritual books/Larry Geller/etc.)? Was this just one of a long line of excuses he made for not truly being in love with her and not wanting to try anymore? Did he actually eat the same sandwich every day, or did he just make a big deal about it one time because it was Lisa's birthday and he wanted to fly her somewhere special? And the other stuff he did eat every day, did he do it because it was one of the few things in his life he had control over, and could extract comfort from, or did he do it because, as he told Larry, he wanted to make himself sick of it so that it would no longer be a temptation? And how much of these conversations are either hearsay or someone putting words in his mouth to absolve themselves of something that bothered them?
The long and short of it is that people have sometimes reported things he said or did without any surrounding context, or it gets stripped away when it's reported elsewhere, and we are left with these moments that don't make sense or tell us anything about him unless we see how he dealt with them throughout his life, around different people, and see him as a whole person and not the Elvis Image that he tended to embrace when it suited him and resent when it hurt him. A really great moment that I think shows how Elvis tended to approach things is reported by Steve Binder, where he said Parker was telling Elvis absolutely not to do something, and Steve felt like Elvis just kind of shut down and mumbled "yes" until Parker left, and then Elvis' eyes flashed and he turned to Steve and said, "Fuck him," and did what he wanted to do. He was a people pleaser! A huge one! He valued loyalty above honesty. He was willing to lie to people he cared about if he felt that it would avoid a confrontation, and sometimes that tipped into a selfish "I want to do things my way," and sometimes that tipped into a selfless "I want them to have everything I can give them." And he waffled between those extremes because of his own low self-esteem and loneliness. I'm! Screaming! About this! At all times! He is an unreliable narrator, he's such a bubble of emotions that pops with the slightly scratch, he's so complex that you are not sure if he wants the bubble to be an opaque shield or a transparent boundary that you can slip through. He was testing people all the time to know if he could trust them with his heart without expecting him to be the Elvis Image, telling them things that were an invitation and a challenge and an insult and a declaration of love all at once, and so much of the problem we deal with now is that people are still completely uninterested in these depths. I???? Love him??? And the things he can help us learn about ourselves??? Just by trying to see him as he really was????
I don't know, I just get very overwhelmed!!!!
#elvis presley#there aren't always completely right answers to any of these questions but i love guessing
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I've been thinking about how Wade and Logan parallel each other in DP&W
One thing I noticed is that while Wade tells Logan about how he applied to be an Avenger, his only response to that was "fuck the Avengers". This showcases that while Wade thinks highly of the Avengers and aspires to be one, Logan couldn't give less of a shit about them. I thought this was a neat mirror between their characters, but then I thought about it even further…
For Wade, when he was turned down by the Avengers, this sent him on a spiral to hang up the suit, become a used-car salesman, and ultimately lose his girlfriend. He desperately want to be one of the "big" and "important" heroes, because he wants to truly matter
Logan is the exact opposite. He already matters, because he's the fucking Wolverine, arguably the most iconic figure from the X-Men (which is true, let's be honest). But this scares him, because he doesn't feel like he can live up to the expectations laid on him. He didn't want to wear the yellow suit because he didn't want to be seen as part of the team. After they were all killed and he went on a rage killing humans, he feels like he let everyone down, because as THE X-Man, he feels that the responsibility to protect them, as well as all mutant kind, rests on HIS shoulders. This is all why being one of the "big" heroes haunts him
These two knuckleheads meeting is how they were able to overcome their trauma. Logan was finally able to prove to everyone AND himself that he could really be the hero that Charles and all of the other X-Men believed him to be. For Wade, in addition to saving the entire multiverse and proving that he really is the world-saving type, he brought Logan into his corner of the universe, the nine people that matter to him, allowing the both of them to take a break from viewing heroism as this huge, end-of-the-world type deal, so that they can both rest and be important within their own little community ❤️
#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#deadpool#wolverine#poolverine#At least that's how I read it🧍♂️
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Don’t ever tell yourself that you’re not enough, I am certain that you’re truly fine
PART FIVE
Ot8 x reader
Word Count: 812
Just a warning, this is my first fanfic! Does have age regression themes so if you’re not a fan, I ask that you respectfully just don’t read <3 also this will definitely have some angst
!THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION!
Days passed and everytime you hung out with them, they seemed more affectionate than usual.
“Is something going on?” You asked suddenly after Seungmin wrapped a fluffy blanket around you the second you sat down on the couch.
The guys look at eachother as if silently communicating then Seungmin chuckles a bit and playfully scoffs. “There is nothing going on,” he says, not being able to make up an excuse otherwise.
You look at Seungmin curiously, not believing him for a second. “All of you have me basically catering to my every need for days now.”
“Oh please, you’re just delusional,” Seungmin tries to play it off, crossing his arms over his chest.
Looking at the guys again, you notice Felix avoiding eye contact. You look at him for a few more seconds before trying to get information from him, knowing he would most likely be the person to tell you the truth. “Lixie? Is there something that y’all aren’t telling me?”
Before Felix can open his mouth, Changbin speaks. “Oh I can’t take it anymore. This is eating me alive!” He says dramatically, before turning to you “We know about your age regression.”
Your face drops in shock with his sudden outburst, hearing Han, Seungmin, Hyunjin and Chris give Changbin a collective “really dude”.
“How…” seems to be the only thing you could say, your eyes looking between each of the guys.
Chris clears his throat before explaining quietly as if he is scared for the outcome of his sentence, “the other night… the night you wanted to leave suddenly… you showed signs of being a little…” He trails off, looking at you genuinely.
“Before you say anything or try to deny it, we think it’s cute.” Hyunjin says quickly, his eyes wide to try and get his point across.
Felix looks at Hyunjin and chuckles, “Hyung, if you keep looking at her like that, you’ll probably freak her out.” He says, trying to lighten the situation, causing a few of the guys to chuckle.
“I-I just… how do you guys know what that is? Or how to look for signs of it?” You ask, curious how they all caught on.
“The old guy knows about it… but don’t ask him how because it’s the most depressing story you’ll ever hear!” Seungmin explains, causing Chris to playfully shove him, saying a quick “it’s not depressing… and im not old!”
You look at Chris, as if observing him. A part of you always seen Chris as some type of caregiver, but now you don’t know if he knows about it in that sense or if he is possibly a little himself. “I want to know the story…” You blurt out, wanting to know the explanation which causes seungmin to playfully groan.
So Chris explains, and your eyes soften as he does. “You were a caregiver to littles online who didn’t have one because you always wanted to be a caregiver?” You ask softly, causing Seungmin to say “See! Depressing!”
“After Hyung told us about how he suspected you as a little, we wanted to learn how to be a caregiver,” Minho speaks up, his eyes looking at you softly. “We wanted you to feel comfortable around us enough so if you ever wanted or needed to regress… you can.”
This explanation makes you tear up. Knowing the guys went out their way to want to learn how to properly be a caregiver… no one has ever done that before. “You wanted to do that… for me?” You ask, your voice just above a whisper.
“We would move mountains for you, Sunbeam, if it meant seeing you carefree and happy.” Felix reassured you, smiling gently.
The petname made you blush, your cheeks now covered a pinkish red. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you guys.”
“Okay, back up!” Han says, standing up from the couch. “Why hasn’t anyone informed me of this information?!?! Where was I when all of you had this important discussion of our princess?” He expresses playfully, though he is very serious.
The guys looks at one another, forgetting to tell Han any of this. “In our defense, you were sleeping next to her when we talked about it!” Jeongin informs, raising his hands up defensively.
“Wait, Hannie, you didn’t know? Then why were you so affectiante with me as well?” You ask curiously.
Han’s mouth pratcially drops in shock, “I am always affectionate with you!” He says in a desperate voice. “You’re my whole world, I always treat you like you’re the most delicate thing in the world!”
“Okay, yeah you make a good point.” I say, chuckling a bit.
Changbin stands up and goes to crouch infront of you, looking up at you. “Since the cat is now out the bag… maybe now you can help us know how to properly take care of you.”
TAGLIST: @puppyminnnie
#ot8 x reader#stray kids x reader#agere little#stray kids little space#little reader#stray kids#bang chan#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#stray kids ot8#stray kids agere#kpop age regression#kpop agere#fluff
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anyway I had a thought today where crown prince xie lian is younger than everyone else.
He is probably 6-7 when he gets mu qing and feng xin (who are 16-17) and they coddle him a lot. Basically XL is their baby brother and baby prince wants to be as strong as his older brothers because they are both so cool!!!
baby lian meets hong-er on the streets one day and please gege can’t we keep him??? I don’t have friends!! You two don’t count cause you’re not my age. Please just please!!!!
So that’s how the trio becomes a quartet and feng xin and mu qing are not only the body guards of the prince but also baby sitters of two very unruly kids who are never up to any good
(They are not getting paid enough to deal with them) (it’s a damn good thing they love the fuck outta those kids)
anyways XL starts his training and ofc Honger tags along. they grow up training together, challenging each other, competing but falling in love at the same time and yeah celibacy is easy for XL except every time he sees HC his thoughts go haywire
When XL ascends, he has three generals by his side.
When he falls, he has two because honger died in the war
And XL truly thinks he is to blame. He went from being the darling of the heavens to someone who has now lost everything. he can’t bear the loss of his beloved
(And he never even got to confess)
Ofc HC keeps him company as a ghost fire because he’d never let his beloved be alone. (XL does not know who the ghost fire is because knowing the love of his life is not at peace would hurt him immeasurably) FX and MQ try their best to stick with him but circumstances deteriorate and they are forced out of his life once again
although this time, MQ does stand up for XL in front of the 33 gods (and gets subsequently banished from heavens). In the end, he still has to leave XL. FX gets forced out of his life after the entire sword ordeal and XL’s subsequent mental breakdown.
Unknown to XL tho they are still both watching over him from a distance because ain’t no way they are leaving their baby bro like this
When XL enters his calamity era, they both lose their minds and are trying their best to subtly stop XL from doing the worst things but THAT STUPID FUCKING GHOST ALWAYS FOLLOWING HIM AROUND WILL NOT STOP ENABLING EVERY BAD DECISION XL TAKES
fx and mq are losing their minds. when xl lies in the streets for three days, they try their best to disguise themselves and go help him but that NAMELESS GHOST!!! He does not let them!! “Your highness would be heartbroken when he realizes you two have seen him in such a state and he’d never forgive himself and you two suck at disguising yourselves anyways~”
wu ming does end up getting dispersed but not before XL realizes his true identity and absolutely loses his mind with grief because how did he manage to lose his loved one not once but TWICE and both the times it was HIS FAULT
He gets banished from heavens again because ofc
knowing xl won’t be able to cope fx and mq finally reveal themselves. xl can feel all ashamed of himself for his actions it’s fine they are not leaving him alone again and they will help him heal and move on
Except one night when the two aren’t paying attention, XL ends up running away. He can’t bear being around them, knowing they know what he did and how he caused honger’s death twice.
(fx and mq never blamed him at all. They were just heartbroken and guilt stricken for not being able to do enough for their darling brother)
Cue 800 years of searching.
This time when XL ascends, he is greeted by two powerful generals who have been reduced to a tearful mess because THEY FINALLY HAVE XL BACK WITH THEM!!! THEIR BABY BRO IS SAFE
they accompany him to mount Yu Jun as themselves and HC comes to XL’s aid
he does not reveal his identity but XL just knows this man is special
FX and MQ then tell him about Crimson Rain Sought Flower, the elusive ghost king who challenged 33 gods and crushed them all
(But he was super nice to both of them and it kinda freaked them out)
When XL meets San Lang. He knows. He just knows it’s Honger and feels like he can finally breathe again because in those 800 years he never once stopped loving him but he waits for him to reveal his identity to him because what is stopping him from telling him and fx and mq?
HC, meanwhile, is sort of embarrassed to meet them, not sure if they would be able to accept this new form of his. He missed them all dearly but he is just not able to move past his self doubts.
It is not until the cave of 10k gods that it revealed who HC really is and instead of FX and MQ freaking out, there is a tearful reunion
Um yeah. A thought was thunked. Bon Appetit
#somehow this AU has more angst potential than the OG work and still it is less ???#idk how to explain it#can y’all see my vision#Xian le quartet being a found family who kept on LOSING each other#like wow#i low key wish someone would write this#mxtx#tgcf#xie lian#hua cheng#feng xin#wu ming#mu qing#hualian#adding fengqing in the mix would make it 10x more delicious but maybe that’s just me hehe
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20. Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.
A very close friend of mine was moving away from the state, and I was really cut up about it. I'd previously been seeing him and Glen at least weekly for many years. We watched movie premieres together, we went to Japanese festivals together, we went to a regular cafe together, we watched TV together, I cooked us all meals together.
On that final day, we had planned a lot of things but we all knew my energy levels might not be up for it.
In the morning, we all went out for dim sum, and talked about our dreams and hopes, and how much we wanted the best for our friend (this person inspired Kadek, incidentally). We had our favourite dim sum dishes, and laughed together, and lightly made fun of each other (taking the piss in a very Australian way) and then afterwards I realised I'd have to dip and get some sleep to recover some energy for the rest of the day.
I was really scared I wouldn't recover, because I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been able to do three big things in one day, on one hand, in the last ten years.
I slept for many hours, and we rendezvoused at Kings Park, which is gorgeous, and it was a beautiful day. Lightly cloudy, breezy, cool but just enough that you'd warm up nicely in the sun. We all sat down on the grass and stared at the perfect panorama of Perth city and took photos, and made the most of it.
We drove back to our favourite cafe that we'd been haunting for a long time, had our favourite meals. As usual, he took forever to decide on a menu he'd seen over 100 times, and I knew what I was getting before I even got there. We reminisced, we talked about how good our friend was going to do after he moved, we made sure to let him know we loved him and we were proud of him and would always be there for him.
After that, we came back here. I was truly shattered. My body was in pain. My friend knew that I'd spent up all the reserves and all of the "savings" and when he inquired about it, I told him that he was worth a million days like this, and he is.
I sat on the couch, barely verbal, basking in a strange warmth I'd never felt before. It was like being in the sun at Kings Park, but somehow warmer. And as I experienced it for longer, I came to reflect on its newness and how strange and nice it was. It wasn't the feeling of being in love. It wasn't the feeling of just happiness. It was some new thing, completely unfamiliar to me.
It was contentment. Something I'd never felt before. It was a bittersweet contentment, because he was leaving, because I knew what it meant about my entire life up until that point that I'd never felt it, not even in my childhood. Not even for five minutes.
It lasted about 20 minutes, it was some golden thing, and I've only felt it about one more minute since.
I live my life hoping I'll get to feel that again, and yeah, I'd say that's a memory I hold very close to my heart.
--
From the soft asks meme
#asks and answers#personal#memey goodness#anyway i miss him#here's wonderwall#*starts strumming my sad guitar*
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thinking still about how the Heart calls the Whalers 'puppets' and the amount of mystery there is around them, when playing as Corvo and perceiving them through the Heart, in comparison to how they are in reality.
we see them talk to each other in a manner any people would. they consider insubordination, they talk badly of Daud behind his back, we have Billie betray him. there are some that are loyal, yes, be it because they believe in Daud or because they see gain in this path, but by no means are they a monolyth.
however, we do hear from the Heart about a 'fog that surrounds them and hides their secrets' and it is even confirmed, by Billie (and also Galia in the books) that leaving Daud made them 'think clearly for the first time in years'
I've seen a couple theories and I do want to dive into each, to an extent.
there's the suggestion of the Heart talking badly of them, calling them mindless drones that only kill out of hatred and hurt. which, valid. the Heart also says certain things about Daud, 'why did you bring me here? do you expect me to forgive him?', so it's not unlikely that their attitude towards human lives and their willingness to kill for Daud is repulsive enough that the Heart does not see past it
another option is that the mindless puppets is more of a metaphor and is meant to talk about how the Whalers are, in a sense, a cult. which would be incredibly interesting to explore if we had more information on how the Whalers function. now I do want to point out that by cult I do not mean it in a Secluded Religious Organization but as a sociological thing. a literal cult if you will, with a leader that charms their followers, the seclusion and all the unhealthy attitudes of losing oneself to the group. and, that does check out - the loss of individuality, they are as one, following someone's orders without hesitation, someone they would die for. there are a lot of unsavory implications here (if you know how cults work, you probably had some cross your mind already), but arguably Daud is not charming enough to be a proper cult leader. the appeal is the magic, and his excellent skills as an assassin and a leader. maybe it's because of the time we see the Whalers at, right before a collapse, but Daud is regularly doubted and we see a lot of insubordination. the Whalers are not necessarily loyal to him because of who he is as a person. they want the power, they want the influence, maybe the protection, and the things keeping them from disobeying are fear, rather than loyalty.
the third thought or theory is, then, that many of these symptoms can be explained by the influence of the Void. we know the Void affects people, both physically as we see with Delilah's Witches or the Eyeless, as it influences them mentally, if the high numbers of people going mad because of their worship are something to go by. if, then, the Whalers are bound to the Void through Daud, it only makes sense that they would be influenced by this link to something that messes with people's brains. Galia saying she feels better after her Arcane Bond faded could easily mean that the influence the Void had on her has faded, and the creeping madness of it has subsided significantly.
all of these most likely come into play. one of the Heart's lines in dh2, if we point at a Witch, is reciting some of the recipes the Witches chant before quickly apologising. we do learn significantly more about them than we do about the Whalers, of course, possibly because Jessamine has more ill will towards the Whalers than to the Witches. still we see the Void affect the Heart. there is also a notion that the Witches are 'not quite human' due to their Arcane bond.
there's no real conclusion. it's just interesting
#li.txt#dh#dishonored#dishonored whalers#I cant stop thinking about this#and since Ive been pointed to 'whalers as a proper cult' Ive been thinking about it#I have a soft spot for cults as a phenomenon i think its very interesting how they function and the things that drive them to function#its really hard to explainwhat i mean without going into proper details on this#and like i dont think theres enough info about how the whalers functioned during their golden days?#to be truly able to tell how things were?#like if it was just a regular organization or if it was Proper Cult with all the unsavory practices that keep people in there#definitely against the 'mindless puppets' bs theyre still v much people#but i wonder like. how much did the arcane bond affect them#we know that it makes them arrogant#and they were already not too kind people before joining daud#i mean who would join the most famous assassin in dunwall without being into murder?#(i think this characterization suffers also because tehres just way less lines about characters in dh than in dh2)#anyways daud is not charismatic enough to be a proper cult leader and in this essay I will---#i did in fact not write about it at all lol but if people have questions I want to answer them#i really want to talk about the whalers actually#ngl should just sleep on this and post it later but nah yolo
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out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?
used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.
#being called butch just reminds me of how much males have the freedom to navigate between male archetypes and how people pay attention to#the distinguishing features of these varying masculinities#but when a female is seen as masculine it all gets lumped under the “butch” category#her masculinity is seen as unnatural and therefore incapable of being considered genuine or taken at face value as it is with males.#its always brought into question instead of taken in consideration with the rest of the woman's life and experiences and her particularities#Hence... Butch is still being treated as though its a huge lesbian cultural phenomena instead of a specific niche thing#also i dont mean to invite the “you dont pass!!” anons again bc that idiot is missing my point entirely (which is that im truly not trying)#but the fact is that for the past 3 years i have found myself increasingly navigating the male social world#and discovering what it means to me as a female to have access to the ability to take my “masculinity” for granted... relax#forget about it#etc#i think thats entirely antithetical to the Butch thing which seems to rest on the tension of other peoples expectations of her#people broadly are more surprised to find out that im interested in women just as much as they're surprised that im a gym queen iykwim...#ive worked hard for this and now that ive gotten the Woman Social Role thing pretty much entirely out of the way i am living the dream#i think a large part of that is learning as a dyke to appropriate the language of gay men theres a reason their terminology had#staying power even when their scene was *literally* dying meanwhile all that seemed to survive from dyke spaces was butch n femme ??#its because theirs didnt necessitate the building and maintenance of a scene in order for the subculture to hold its head above water#their labels *largely* weren't predicated on their relationships to gender roles and its telling that for dykes it was#their labels rested on the need to simply show up anonymous n be able to easily flag whether they were looking to fuck or be fucked#alongside the set of circumstances under which they would be fucking or getting fucked or what have you#it all comes back to the restrictions of female social blah blah blah and i think the sooner we collectively set down what we see as our#responsibility as lesbians and as feminists to Be A Woman the sooner we can step outside of that#n start thinking clearly about our individual circumstances and the necessity of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others
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Ter stop talking over and making decisions for Dee challenge 2k24. Y'all ain't even friends at this point you're just the annoying coworker go away
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday series#listen listen listen#i am glad that ter is starting to realize things about himself#i'm glad he's starting to embrace his feelings#howmstever he needs to do that in a way where he is able to give up some control#he cannot control dee's actions or responses#he needs to communicate with dee not make decisions for him#ter and dee do not mesh because dee is super competitive about silly little things#and he doesn't like being told what to do. he likes gentle nudging and he also likes his boundaries#yak still hasn't kissed him despite both of them knowing how bad yak wants to#ter extended their japan trip without talking to dee and then tried to kiss him not even knowing how dee feels about being kissed#dee hasn't had a chance to explain#and even before he had a chance to explain with yak#yak wasn't kissing him. yak was operating strictly off of body language and managed to not kiss dee#then he asked about it in a non-judgemental way and dee felt comfortable enough to tell him#and yak said got it boss. you know i want to kiss you but this is a boundary that we will not cross#until we are ready and willing to cross it together#yes yak has pushed a bit because he wants it but he always goes slow enough and gives dee enough space to back out before they kiss#which dee does#and he will back out until he doesn't#but that's the difference between ter and yak#dee was closed in and didn't have a lot of options to avoid the kiss if it hadn't been interrupted#i don't doubt dee would have managed to avoid it but ter blocked off a lot of opportunities to leave#yak leaves space for dee to leave if he wants to#ter is controlling and yak is freeing#and that is why dee was able to fall for yak after 8 years of pining for ter#he is free from the feelings that were controlling him#and now he can move on and be happy with someone who truly understands him
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ive just rediscovered an old wip of mine and im having so much fun right now. like i havent opened the document since early 2020 and genuinely forgot it existed yet there's 90k words and so much lore and elements of basic concepts that made it to my present writing in far cooler and more complex ways and the writing isn't great but there's potential to it and idk. it's been a while since i wrote something privately and while i hugely prefer the way i do it now where i actually have a community with it and dont hole myself away and act like it's a huge shame thing, there's still something hugely reasuring about knowing this is something ive always done and that actually i was always drawn to it and had potential and that's something to remember for when my writing block gets bad or i convince myself Everything Ive Ever Done Is Awful
#like this story is one where if i tackled it with my writing abilities now it would genuinely be really good#that's how sound the basic premise is. and i have SO many wips like that with tens of thousands of words to them#and i was doing this for ZERO reward ZERO attention i wouldnt tell a SOUL not even my family#i truly just have always loved and NEEDED to write. that is such a cool thing to be able to say#anyway yeah this wip lowkey fucks. like there's lots of aspects to it that are cringe and telling of the fact i was writing it at age 16#but the fact i came up with something so fleshed out at SIXTEEN??? insane#and this isnt even one of my big older wips. i have three that immediately come to mind that were sooo much bigger than this#like on the shorter end being 100k words and larger end easily being near 300k words#and they were JUST FOR ME like i didnt even know what ao3 WAS and i never spoke to anyone about my writing#and they WERENT FANDOM BASED. i was just casually coming up with super original detailed and COMEPLLING worlds#and characters and plots with complex twists and tropes and i was just doing it for shits#that's so fucking cool. did you ever think you'd see the day i gave past hella a pat on the back bc i didn't
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on the subject of museums though: I'm a FIRM believer that the smithsonians are genuinely some the greatest cultural heritage americans possess and I believe SO fervently in them being free to the public and accessible to all because they ARE our nation's history and tell (and ideally deconstruct) our national myths and help contextualize the natural world around us and show us the heights of human ingenuity and art. also my favorite of all of them is the national museum of the american indian and I personally think if you can only go to one smithsonian museum it should be that one
#I've only been to DC once since the National Museum of African American History and Culture opened and I wasn't able to go bc the#timed tickets for the day were all sold out :( but I'm going to attempt to go later this year#idk I feel very passionately about the smithsonians... one of my favorite childhood memories is the family trip we took there#and I walked around the natural history museum with a notebook and wrote down all my favorite things I saw that day ahaha#and the air & space museum really is just incredible. my dad has Space Race Boomer Brain but I was always really interested#in how his mind was so CAPTURED by the space race and by space exploration and him seeing the first man on the moon#and that bled into me appreciating that museum a lot#but seriously the american indian museum is just a feat to behold. just incredible.#and — I'd argue — the MOST important museum to view if you wanted to truly grasp the weight of the stories our country tries to tell itself
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I generally spend summers out west visiting with my parents because it's much colder out there, which is better for my chronic illnesses. I figure that there's nothing much keeping me here during the summer, especially because it's not really safe for me to go outside when it's hot, so until something comes up that makes traveling for long periods less attractive (like a job that requires me to stay put, a partner, home renovations, etc.) I'm gonna keep doing it.
But brooooo the only thing that makes me occasionally consider staying here for the summer is plants. When I used to stay here during the summer, before my parents moved to California, I used to grow the most beautiful plants. I have this raised garden bed that I got when I first moved in and I've never really gotten to use it because I'm just never here during a full growing season anymore.
I have grow shelves in my office and that's nice, but it's nothing compared to actually being able to grow tomatoes and stuff in my garden. And OH if I were able to use that space out there to get a little apple tree! One of the self-pollinating ones with multiple varieties! Or one of the dwarf peach/nectarine combos...
I'd cry!
But those things need a little babying and I'm just not here enough to do it properly. Which is sad, because gardening is actually pretty good for my mental health. And while I love my parents' area, a lot of fruiting plants just do not do well in that environment. I love the plants that are there, but every time we've tried to do tomatoes or cucumbers or something, they just do not thrive at all. Way too cold and gray. We can grow pea pods, but I hate pea pods...
*staring into space daydreaming about franken fruit trees because someone on my dash had the misfortune to reblog something about plant grafting*
#plant grafting makes me feral#whenever people sit still long enough I always eventually start telling them about apple biodiversity#and how if you plant apple seeds they will not be the same variety as the apple it came from#and you can only truly replicate them through grafting#and that's why -- oh no I'm doing it again#once I did some stupid 'what ___ are you' quiz#and at the end they were like 'tell me something fun'#and I legit just launched into the apple lecture I'm so sorry I love the apple lecture#I took this class on food science in college#and I had to do a presentation on how to read and order from a seed catalog#and I honestly just fell in love with it I now read those things like they're magazines#sometimes I just daydream about being able to move somewhere with land so I could plant everything#but I know my body would never let me anyway#BUT I CAN DREAM...
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