#i mean i pay her for a service so there’s that
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This!
I love to sing. I’ve been singing on stage and at every opportunity since I was 5.
I have traveled the country to sing. I volunteered to be awake every day at 4am and not get home till midnight during the final week of a semester every year to do extra singing as a kid.
I’ve sang with opera companies and local theaters and ballet companies as a volunteer.
When I was the age I was doing this, my dad told me to do what I love for a living and I’ll never work a day in my life.
The thing is singing is work. A lot of it. And it’s hard work.
(There are some lucky people who could refuse to do a lot of the things I’m about to get into and still be successful professional singers, but I promise you, they are not the majority of musicians.)
Specifically, I hate reading sheet music. I can read it and I’m really good as sight reading. But I hate it.
I hate wearing makeup. The older you get, the more you’re expected to wear makeup.
I hate heels. And shaving. And a slew of other things you are expected to do all the time if you’re a singer as an adult female. Dresses and bras and spanks and UGH! No thank you.
And here’s another thing. I watched my older sister who also loves to sing pursue being an opera singer since the age of 13.
She worked a job as early as 14 to pay for her own piano lessons. She went to a fine arts high school and trained under one of the most prestigious soprano opera coaches in the world. She couldn’t get into a college of the same caliber, but studied music anyway.
I watched her bleach her hair to straw and then stop. Over eat and then starve herself with a scary diet. Worry about her makeup every damn day and wear heels around the house so she would be used to them. Fret over outfits being exactly what would be acceptable in her profession of choice to the point where she didn’t have clothes for clubbing with friends. She wore a pink sweater and white pencil skirt to go clubbing with a friend once. She looked like she was going to church.
She got her 1st degree in music education because she couldn’t audition for an opera company till she was 35, and then didn’t use it because she hated teaching children.
She proceeded to work retail and food service and hate it and be miserable and mean to everyone around her because of it.
She became so critical of MY singing and MY appearance because she assumed I’d follow her footsteps to being a professional singer. I couldn’t sing to myself while doing chores without her stopping me to tell me I’d done xyz wrong. I couldn’t buy and wear a dress for an event without her spending hours telling me why it was ugly and how I’d get raped in it. (Nevermind how many other people told me it looked lovely, that shit sticks in your head in a bad way.)
She tried to force me into a diet at 14. I was 5’5 and 130lbs soaking wet.
She called me lazy for not having to energy and drive to pay for my own piano lessons. Nevermind that my teenager level paycheck was going to pay for my own medical care.
I know she kept going back to school for music and was working on her doctorate at one point because our brother told me about it. I have no idea if she’s auditioned and been accepted by an opera company or not. I stopped talking to her over a decade ago because I couldn’t take her abuse anymore.
She took dad’s advice so literally that she worked herself into a terrible person. She was just as miserable as our dad who didn’t follow his dreams at all because of money if not more so.
I watched her doing these things to herself and others and by 14 I realized I did not want that for myself.
I tried a few different things. I thought I might be a lawyer or historian or even a teacher.
In the end, college was awful for me. I never finished despite getting a head start on it at 15. I worked retail jobs until I landed my current position.
I like it a lot. More importantly, I love the life it affords me.
I like the work. It’s fairly repetitive and easy to manage. It even is contributing to a cause I find to be important to bettering the world.
I like the people I work with. I get to work from home and watch tv while I work and have a cat on my lap. I almost never have to get dressed unless I have an in-person meeting. Virtual meetings? No one cares what I’m wearing as long as I’m fully clothed. I’m far from the only one who doesn’t shave or wear makeup despite it being a female dominated space. It’s LGBTQ+ friendly and is actually being ahead of the curve on inclusion in many respects (wild for being in a red state).
Sometimes I get paid to eat s’mores and go on scavenger hunts. My hours are flexible. I have almost 400 hours of saved up sick time I can use. My boss is human and accommodating for things like death in the family even though my family now is a found family.
My pay isn’t stellar because my job is “entry level” but it still pays better than most anything else I’m qualified for without a college degree.
And I can afford to sing.
I sing with 2 local choral ensembles regularly. One of them requires me to wear makeup and shave and wear costumes when we perform. One just wants me to wear all black and not smell bad.
I volunteer to sing with fellow alumni of the prestigious children’s choir I grew up with. Their appearance requirements are somewhere in between the other two.
And I love it because it’s for me. I could stop if one group or another ever stopped filling my cup. I don’t have to read sheet music daily or panic over auditions or spend every day working on pieces I hate.
It’s lovely, because I can still love it.
This isn’t to say you can’t love the grind.
One of my choral ensembles had a director (we recently lost her due to a move) who does singing, our specific kind of singing, for a living. She scrapes by financially with making learning tracks and teaching and coaching. Her travel schedule is crazy because the quartet she performs and competes with live all over the country and they perform and teach all over the world. She wears makeup all the time and cute clothes and is comfortable in heels and navigating stages without her glasses.
Unlike my sister, she’s happy doing these things, but it still looks exhausting.
I don’t want to have to live her schedule. I don’t have her energy levels and never have.
I value my peace and I want my music to be for me. Not a pay check. I want to be able to interpret music and put in artistry I like sometimes. But other times I’m perfectly happy just being part of the group that meets once a week.
Figure out if depending on your art to eat would make you hate it. If so, do something else that you like and can afford you the life and art you love.
I see a lot of people who tell young people–especially young people who are heading into college–that they should “do what they love.” And they’re right. You should do what you love.
But there’s a world of difference between doing what you love for you, and doing what you love for a paycheck.
I went to undergrad for graphic design and 3-D design–art and more art, I usually say–and I loved it. You know what I didn’t love? Trying to collect my fees from clients. Trying to meet unrealistic, over-simplified or over-specific briefs from people who didn’t know what they were talking about. Coming home, having worked creatively all day, with no creative juice left for the things I wanted to do.
You know what I would tell you instead? Do something that you can be interested in, with people you like.
You don’t have to love it. Loving your work can be a lot, and it often means you have to live in your job 24/7. Some people can do that. Not everyone can, or should. But if you can find work that’s interesting enough that it doesn’t feel tedious, and people you can enjoy spending your 9-5 with, and you can make money, that’s great! It means you can do the things you love for you.
I’m in law school now. It’s interesting work, and difficult, and I like doing it. I like how complicated it gets, and I like the stories it tells. But I don’t come home and read law journals for fun. I come home, and I sculpt, and I draw, and I paint, and I read. I do these things for me.
And I love it.
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LOV members and their love languages ~
★~`
Shigaraki ~
DEFINITELY an Acts of Service man.
Do NOT expect this man to try and touch you.
If he really loves you, I doubt he'd dare touch you as he wouldn't wanna accidently decay you.
Plus, this man absolutely hates it anyway. The only person he wanted to touch was his mama.
He would totally kill anyone you ask him to, either if he's jealous or if he has the urge to kill.
Or, he'd just invite you to play League Of Legends or Fortnite with him and Spinner.
(which isn't bad because he could definitely carry you in fn)
He would try and learn everyday how to be a good boyfriend. (He pays way more attention to you than you notice.)
He enjoys receiving Physical Touch, but to an extent.
You could touch his face, or anywhere really, but definitely not his hands.
He just doesn't want to lose you.
Touya ~
Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation.
He'd probably be super surprised if you told him your feelings
But he'd be open to a relationship since he'd be down to try something new.
SECONDS into the relationship he's making up so many nicknames for you.
'Babe', 'Darling', 'Hottie', you name it, he's calling you it.
And, he'd definitely kill someone for you.
I think he'd be more down too than Shigaraki would be.
He'd probably be all of the other love languages too, because don't tell me this man won't steal you a thousand dollar ring.
If you were also a villain, he'd totally BEG Shigaraki to let you go on missions together.
He likes Quality Time the most, since Endeavour never gave him any.
So, if you watch this man shoe you his special moves, he's gonna fall 2x as much in love with you.
Toga ~
Himiko literally seeks acceptance through unconventional love.
So I'd think her love language is Physical Touch or Acts of Service.
Along with the others, she'd be more than happy to kill someone for you or more likely impersonate someone for you.
Plus, she'd definitely have to avoid the temptation of using her knives on you.
So, if you told her she could use them, she'd be the happiest girl in the world.
She would be turning into you everyday.
As a means to show her love for you.
She'd want to be you, and feel what your body feels like upon her own accord, like if she was you.
If not, she could find out every little detail about your body by Physical Touch.
She definitely cuddles. (no one can change my mind!)
She likes receiving Words of Affirmation the most, so if you call her beautiful or pretty, she'll go feral for you.
Jin/Twice ~
Quality Time man.
Even a few weeks into your relationship, he'd be down for you to move into his little apartment, if you wanted to.
This would literally be so big for him, he'd spend every single day next to you, even if you were just cooking or cleaning.
If you were showering, he'd literally comes in and sit on the sink to talk to you.
You would definitely have some deep chats about the state of society, or the people you both retrospectively spend your other time around.
I think this man would somewhat enjoy Physical Touch.
Even if it's holding your hand on a busy subway, or leaning your head on his shoulder as he smokes his cigarette.
He would go feral.
It would be difficult to keep his clones' voices under wraps, but if you love him for them too, he'd be happy enough.
Iguchi/Spinner ~
Gift-Giving, definitely.
Although this man spends probably all of his time playing League Of Legends with Tomura, he'd definitely put some time aside to get you presents.
Whether it's something expensive that he's stole, or something small that he's recently heard you talk about.
Such as a new plush, or figurine.
He probably thinks it's more romantic to actually buy the gift, instead of stealing it, so trust me when I say this man has multiple piggy banks in his room.
He would try and ask Tomura for help, but we all know this man wouldn't give good advice.
'buy her League' shut tf up Tomura.
He would buy you both games he'd think you'd like, and would help try to teach you to play.
If you already play games, he'd buy you everything in the game, like DLCs or extra skins.
He most likely enjoys receiving Words of Affirmation.
He didn't get complimented much growing up, so when you do it for the first time, he's super confused.
But, he relaxes more into it and loves when you call him pretty.
Mr Compress ~
ATSUHIRO MY BABY
He'd totally be into Gift-Giving.
I mean, this man comes from a bloodline of thieves, and you think he won't steal you everything you want?
He would literally go to every store in Japan to buy you the most perfect rings, or necklaces, or clothes to make you look even more stunning than you already are.
He'd make sure you had matching things too, like jewellery or clothes, or even small little trinkets to remind yourselves of eachother.
Your room would literally be filled to the brim of everything he's gifted you, also because you would never throw it away.
He'd swear he doesn't need anything in return, but he'd be more into receiving Acts of Service.
Even if this is making him food or coming to see him if he lives a long way away, he'll appreciate every little thing you do for him, no matter how important it is to yourself.
Muscular ~
Muscular would probably just be into Physical Touch.
This man is 6"6, so if your any shorter he would be making fun of you everyday, by ruffling your hair or leaning his arms or head down on your shoulder or head.
Even though he is huge, he'd love to hold hands, if you even can.
He'd LOVE showing off to you, by picking you up or throwing you over his shoulder with ease.
He might have a small feeling that you dislike his muscles or eye, but if you disregard that, he will be all over you again.
Just make sure that you don't get smushed underneath him and his muscles.
Because we all know he would not be careful at all.
He'd be into Physical Touch too, as he would definitely like having his muscles appreciated by your hands.
If you ask him to flex or show his muscles, he will be down within a millisecond and will show you them in every position possible.
hey guyss this is my first proper post to give you a taste of what I wanna do [even if this is not a lot or very detailed so far], so pleasee give me some feedback, and help me so that I can grow my account. feel free to ♡ !!
#tomura shiragaki#shigaraki tomura#dabi#mha dabi#touya todoroki#toga himiko#twice mha#jin bubaigawara#spinner#shuichi iguchi#mr compress#sako atsuhiro#muscular#goto imasuji#x reader#love language#tomura shigaraki x reader#dabi x reader#touya todoroki x reader#toga himiko x reader#twice x reader#jin bubaigawara x reader#spinner x reader#shuichi iguchi x reader#mr compress x reader#atsuhiro sako x reader#goto imasuji x reader#my hero academia#boko no hero academia#imagine
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dw christmas special no. i lost track: joy to the world
I went into this with low expectations because I generally don't really like 1) Christmas specials, 2) Moffat, 3) Moffat Christmas specials. Because of these things I also wasn't really paying attention to promo and was pretty much unspoiled for everything besides "time hotel" and "Nicola Coughlan".
Anyway possibly for that reason, this exceeded my (low) expectations and I mostly had fun, lol. Cynicism pays off
Spoilers:
I think this had a lot of the basic problems I have with most Christmas specials, and it speedran through a lot of the cliches that mark them, but... tbh whatever I guess, I mean, there were some enjoyable bits and at this point it's a Christmas special, right, you know what you're getting.
Time Hotel was a very cool idea and was executed pretty well. Put Disney's money to work
Fifteen abruptly having to spend a year waiting was not an angle I anticipated at all, though perhaps I should've. I think at this point "omg I've NEVER done this EVER before" is just so comically untrue it's an inherent eye roll BUT I'm also at a point with this show where I'm like... it's been over 60 years... of course they've done everything. I'll look the other way. It's fine. The Doctor in mundane scenarios is fun when he's not being an asshole about it and Anita and the Doctor were fun to watch. I also appreciated that they addressed the obvious elephant of "call Ruby ffs" lmao. (Or call the other guy who literally has a TARDIS ... but again, I'll give it to 'em.)
Fifteen's angst about being alone doesn't hit quite right because Ruby didn't leave him, he left Ruby behind. I think you can argue he left Ruby behind because he was trying to get ahead of it -- you can't break up with me I'm breaking up with you! -- but, well, in this era of Doctor Who character stuff comes at you fast and you either roll with it or are miserable I guess. Ncuti is very good and that helps a lot
The general plot of "they want to sell a star so they are using a time hotel and will sacrifice Earth to do it" like. Sure. That's fine lmao whatever it's a DW plot it's serviceable
Joy herself was kind of a letdown ... I def felt more of a connection to Anita than to Joy, unfortunately, and as the Anita montage was wrapping I thought why wasn't the whole ep about this... But I did like the mom-died-alone-during-covid reveal and particularly the jab at the tories. I thought that hit. Fuck em.
It's not a Moffat episode without some generalization about human nature that makes absolutely no sense to me and the "hotel rooms reveal who you are as a person" was way up there lmao. Hotel rooms reveal how much disposable income I have at the time of booking actually.
Moffat's humour is hit or miss with me but it was more hit than miss here, I think. The mansplain bits for example made my eyes roll back into my skull but I liked the plunger joke, the TARDIS toys from the internet, I even thought Joy's boner joke was funny lmao
The ending w the star and Bethlehem and stuff ... pretty naff imo but hey it's a Christmas special. I liked the fakeout of Ruby getting a call and it being from her mom too ... I know they'll reunite next season so I don't mind the tease here.
tl;dr I had fun! I could nitpick a lot of this but what's the point. it's Christmas. is this character growth? hm. tbh I think I enjoyed it more than Boom lmao
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my cute emo hair stylist complemented me on my day old eye make up today and i’m just gonna go cry now.
#it was so genuine too#like#i blurted out that it was yesterdays makeup like an idiot#and she just#‘nooo!! day old eyeliner and red shadow always looks better the day after!’#😭😭😭😭#so yeah#the cute emo hair stylist thinks my make up is great#and one can only hope she thinks i’m great too#i mean i pay her for a service so there’s that#i’m under no true delusion that she wasn’t just making conversation with her client.#but like#she’s so nice#and so fucking pretty#and her makeup is always killer#hair stylist#hair salon#razor blade haircut#emo#punk#fashion
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I know it's been a few years since I've run my own dog training business instead of working for someone else for exploitation wages and that previously I was working in the rural south where prices are a bit different in general, but out of curiosity I decided to look at some dog training services in my area in upstate NY today and got hit with sticker shock ngl.
Most places don't post their prices so I could only compare a few (which... I sort of get since they want to avoid competition doing what I'm doing right now lol but as someone who has run a dog training business and had business marketing included in my education it's something I see as an... *interesting* choice, because most clients want to know price up front without having to contact you and wait for a response because they probably already have a budget in mind and just want to be able to quickly see if you fit into it or not, which means not having prices posted will make some potential clients immediately look elsewhere and if you don't even have some sort of price range for services posted somewhere then most of your calls and emails will just be people asking for pricing and a majority of those calls and emails will not lead to services purchased so it ends up wasting a lot of unpaid time on office work BUT THATS AN UNRELATED TOPIC, I DIGRESS) but WOWZA the ones that did have prices posted really made me realize I do NOT live in a low cost of living place anymore.
One of the popular places here that I looked at charges $150+ for ONE training session with one of their APPRENTICE trainers. It's double that price to train with one of their more experienced dog trainers for just one session.
I looked back at some of the trainers I was competing with back in FL and NC to compare as well as the dog training school I went to just to check and see if prices were getting that high in other rural areas, and nope. Most places $300 would still get you at least three - maybe up to six - private lessons spread out over three (or six, or whatever) weeks, which is the pricing range I'm used to seeing dog trainers in the rural south suffer with because of places like Petsmart setting the pricing bar so low.
I'm pretty sure I have more formal dog training education and certification than most of the employees at this place too since even their main "behaviorist" (not a protected title in the USA so anyone can call themselves that) has no certifications listed at all that I can find, so... I guess now that I live here if I ever start training again I'm going to have to rethink my pricing lol even if I don't charge those kinds of prices I clearly still need to bump them up in this area from what I used to charge in order to be competitive with these other training businesses.
#pricing too low compared to competition is a business killer btw#another think i learned in my marketing classes#most people buying dog training are wealthier#not necessarily rich but... not poor#and although id love to offer sliding scale for low income clients if i ever do training on my own again#your normal prices being too low WILL turn away those clients who are higher income#cuz EVEN IF IT'S NOT ACTUALLY TRUE higher class members of our society have a subconscious idea that price often = quality for services#I KNOW I KNOW I did not believe this either straight out of school and underpriced my services still anyway despite being taught that#because it did not make sense to my poor person brain to assume that wealthier people think like that#but i learned very quickly after having a couple of wealthier people literally LAUGH at my pricing#or make weird faces and say “that's it?'#the first dude who laughed at my pricing actually gave me a tip that doubled my price for his services every time i worked for him#and another regular of mine often left me envelopes of cash because she said she felt bad that i was charging so little#and that it actually made her second guess hiring me at first#SO JUST TAKE THE ADVICE AND CHARGE WHAT IS COMPETITIVE IN YOUR AREA AT LEAST INSTEAD OF TRYING TO UNDERCUT COMPETITION#or compete with the big chains DEAR GOD DO NOT TRY TO COMPETE WITH THE BIG TRAINING CHAINS PRICE WISE FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH#you will burn yourself out and make yourself hate dog training if you try to compete at their exploitation prices#at the least price around what other people who are NOT working for chains in the area do#and ideally price what you think would make you feel like your time and labor is being adequately compensated#which means enough to afford to live and afford to pay for things like health insurance as an independent contractor#and have enough left over for some QOL stuff and to put some into savings for emergencies or slow periods for your work#a lot of people working with animals ridiculously undercharge and then end up screwing themselves over mentallt and physically#anyway this post and the tags are long enough and i could rant about pricing and fair wages forever so im done now lol#just reeling a little at the idea of charging $300 for a single dog training lesson and that PEOPLE HERE ARE PAYING THAT#THAT PLACE IS POPULAR AND SUCCESSFUL#they do not pay their trainers that much though lmfao they make only like $6 over minimum wage OF COURSE#which I know because I got into this pricing deep dive after seeing multiple of their job listings because they're hiring right now#i hate business owners that do pricing vs employee pay so differently like that they are honest to god EVIL that is exploitation
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every day my sister-in-law tests me by posting the stupidest fucking shit on facebook
#one day I’m gonna finally lose it and start being mean in the comments#like what do you mean it only took two old ladies coming to your door to get you to vote for tr*mp?#why are you saying public schools are so scary bc if property taxes aren’t raised the schools will lose some services#girl why do you care about property taxes you live in my brother’s house and don’t pay any bills#she’s also an anti-vaxxer but only bc she doesn’t want anyone telling her what to do#my brother is well aware everyone in our family thinks his wife is an idiot but good god#it’s so annoying that I have to tolerate her being married to my brother
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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🫠
#the way i had one lady say i had the worst attitude she's ever seen and another say im her favorite server and i always get her order right#within the same shift#the duality of customer service#im still so perplexed by the mean one she said i always take out her order but i swear ive never seen someone have that specific issue#and i even undercharged her for the extra stuff she ordered because she was being understanding#and then she still refused to pay for it#tf 😭
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Is one day of peace too much to ask for? All signs point to yes.
#my step mother decided not to go to work yet again today and yesterday#which means im stuck spending yet another day in my room#i have my voice lesson today#on zoom#and my step mother gets mad if i do it while shes home#because it interrupts her tv watching#but im paying a lot of money for it so im not just going to skip it#i already do it in the back bedroom with the door closed#and more than that#anytime either one of them is home i have to be perfectly 100% customer service level ofhappy and accommodating#otherwise its proof that hrt is turning me evil#despite the fact that i just had an appointment yesterday and they're switching me back to injections#because a pretty high dose of the gel had my t levels lower than even the lowest dose of injections#barely higher than is expected in a cis woman#so like even if not being all smiles and sunshine while being insulted 5 minutes after waking up was an indicator of evil#its certainly not due to the testosterone#i just want to lay on the couch and watch a movie in my limited time when im not at work or sleeping so i can go back to work
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Love that the eras tour film will finally be on streaming, feel a little icky about it being on Disney+ but then again what big streaming service has morals I stand behind?
#i mean a small service would probably become big if taylor put her stuff on there#oh well#at least i have access to a disney+ i don't pay for#so good for me i guess?#the eras movie
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i just had the worst autistic experience at a quick serve restaurant where i was trying to order the “chicken with 2 sides” option, which i was trying to make macaroni and yuca fries.
what the employee SHOULD have said was “yuca fries cannot be chosen for this meal as they are a Specialty Side, and only original sides qualify for this specific meal”. i would have understood perfectly. instead what did she keep repeating to me over and over, getting annoyed when i didn’t understand?
“what it says on the menu and what you’re asking for are two different things”
….. bitch what?????
i damn near cried no matter what i asked she would not explain it to me differently i was ready to give up my order entirely until my mother stepped up to figure it out for me.
catch me making my own food at home for the rest of the WEEK at least
#her service was actually terrible like she was being so mean agsjsbdks and did not give a shit about our food At All#then i asked for a side of sauce and she said ‘you don’t order it’#what she meant was… u don’t pay for it. ask for it when u get ur order. but what do u MEAN???#’can i get mac and cheese and yuca fries with my chicken please’ ‘no.’ ‘um. why’ ‘you can have mac and cheese if you order that’#W HAT?? 😭😭😭#then this bitch ROLLS HER EYES and says lemme try to explain this to u. u can’t order that.#i am literally this close to shutting down WHY CANT I ORDER THAT#finally my mom gets it out of her that i can pick 2 sides yes. from this other section.#i ended up getting a chicken + 1 side and then just… adding a side of yuca#but what the actual fuck#i told my mother after: this is what even regular interactions tend to feel like for me even when the person thinks they’re being clear#like genuinely that was harrowing
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#breathing deep and I recognize I shouldn’t use tumblr as a journal but this is my coping mechanism#and I need it rn lol#so the situation is worse than I thought#emergency rental assistance only covered my moms rent until January rather than February#the property never told me it was late#now they tell me today I need to pay two full months’ rent or my mom’s evicted#so I spring into action and I’m panicking tf out today#and I get a hold of my mom’s social worker at aging and long term care#bc she got approved for their housing voucher!! and I thought it was already submitted!!#the whole POINT of emergency rent was that it would give them a few months to get her on housing#but no - two months AFTER it ends she finally gets the voucher#actually she doesn’t even have it yet. they submit the paperwork April 3rd#so it won’t even take effect next month. meaning I actually need to pay THREE month’s rent#nearly $3600 with $150 in late fees tacked on#I’m. a mess today. esp after finding out someone stole my passport and was trying to steal my identity#but that didn’t stop me and we found an emergency service that will pay backrent when someone’s facing eviction.#it can take 8-12 weeks (!!!) to process but I gave the necessary permissions to everyone and so the landlord and my moms social worker#talked and he explained everything going on and is sending the plan in writing to her. and she’s forwarding it to corporate#and maybe they’ll actually let us hold off and have this service do what it does best#esp considering she’s going to be in the housing system so it’s state-guaranteed rent for a year if they keep her#I just. it’s 1 pm and I’m so emotionally exhausted and reeling#why is life this fucking hard lol
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To everyone who looked askance at me owning DVDs?!? in the age of Netflix?!?, LOOK WHO’S TALKING NOW
But also god can we please just go back to everything being on one platform with no ads. I am exhausted. Why is community on peacock and when did it leave netflix. What the hell is happening. GAH
Anyway I could not do my annual watching of the December 10th episode of community while making cookies and I’m sad about that (even though now I’m a member of the rat race who had to work all day on Monday, which is bullshit) (maybe next year I should take Dec 10th off as a holiday especially if they’re going to keep insisting that we get exactly one day off for Xmas)
#slight tiny teeny weeny bit of judgment that I shouldn’t do (hence in tags):#neighbor constantly complains about having no money to do things#neighbor also pays for every streaming service AND cable#I mean you do you but if you need a lil extra cash… I can see some fat to trim. just sayin.#and tbf who knows it might be so minuscule that it’s not worth it to her#and lord knows everyone could use some extra $$$ without giving up the tiniest luxuries in life like idk TELEVISION#but my dude you have every streaming service why do you need CABLE
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Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide
This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.
How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:
The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours
It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people
Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.
Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.
Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)
The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.
It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*
If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people
So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.
Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit
Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen
Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **
General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.
Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something
Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill
* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them
** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone
Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty
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Ok but you have to include the full clip though
The guys name is Paul Parker and he’s literally my hero
youtube
The clip is funny ofc, he literally tells sco mo to square up, but it’s also heartbreaking to see how run down and exhausted he is- how all our volunteers were- during black summer. My parents are both full time rfs members and I’m nearly of age to become an offical member myself, and I can’t begin to describe how run ragged they are every bush fire season, let alone 2019-20. My dad’s birthday was just a few days ago and while we were sitting in our living room cutting the pavlova he was still on call with the radios by his side. Our emergency service workers- the rfs, the ses, paramedics and support services and so many more- are overworked and underpaid and constantly let down by our government, and good old Scotty from marketing is a prime fucking example.
Fuck Scott Morrison, support your local brigades.
I just spent some time scrolling through this blog and am suffering from sever laughter. Thanks so much for collating the countries craziest moments. One of my favourites is when Scott Morrison was in Hawaii while the bushfires where burning.
December 2019: As Australia's east coast is engulfed in the worst bushfires in living memory, rumours begin to circulate that Australia's Prime Minister Scott Morrison may have secretly fucked off for a holiday in Hawaii.
Keep in mind, this is what is going down in Australia at the time:
The Hawaii rumour is initially written off as a fringe conspiracy, because surely nobody could be that fuckin tonedeaf, and it was quickly forgotten about... until an Australian man visiting Hawaii UPLOADED A SELFIE ON THE BEACH WITH THE PM THROWING A SHAKA.
At which point all hell broke loose.
Overnight the formerly popular "Scomo" became the most despised man in all of Australia. Think "firefighters shouting out of their windows to news cameras" level of despised.
After about two days of radio silence and pretending like he was still at home running the country, the Prime Minister's handlers finally dragged him onto call with an Australian radio station, where he pinky promised to return to Australia as fast as he could in an attempt to calm things down.
Unfortunately Scott's empathy consultant (a real job) then had to watch Scott pour more gasoline on the dumpster fire by uttering the now famous phrase "Look I don't hold a hose mate" when asked by the radio interviewer why the fucking fuck the fuckhead wasn't fucking in Australia doing his fucking job during a massive fucking crisis.
Testing just how much worse things could get, Scomo then proceeded to NOT rush back to Australia as promised, instead attempting to complete the rest of his holiday, a fact that was exposed when a passerby snapped a picture of him still lounging on the beach two days later.
Eventually, holiday complete, Morrison did reluctantly slink back to Australia, and in an attempt to calm things down, he decided to pay a visit to a small town that had been destroyed by the fires.
Which was a big mistake.
Scomo still had not registered how absolutely and totally he had screwed the poodle with his Hawaiian beach vacation, and he walks into what is now taught in PR classes as one of the greatest examples of "what not do do in a crisis" in all of history.
Scotty from Marketing, as he is now dubbed by the nation, spends a painfully cringe-inducing hour wandering around a burned down town with TV news cameras in tow, having to FORCE PEOPLE TO SHAKE HIS HAND in what is some of the most awkward footage you will ever see.
At this point it's probably also worth mentioning that, before becoming Prime Minister, Scott Morrison's biggest claim to fame in politics was being the guy that was so far up the coal lobby's arse that he literally brought coal into parliament and waved it around, claiming it doesn't hurt people.
So when a protest was organised it turned out to be one big national fuck you to the Prime Minister, the likes of which the world has never seen before or since.
Needless to say, at this point Scomo's career was dead in the water, but thanks to the rules brought in to stop Australian political parties from knifing their leader every two weeks (a popular Aussie passtime) Morrison basically couldn't get fired until after the next election.
And so, when the election rolled around in 2022, we decided that was an opportune time to travel over to Hawaii to erect this bad boy tribute to the Prime Minister, on the very beach where Scomo had sat and drank margaritas that one fateful week in December as Australia burned (thanks to @chaser for funding the ticket)
#sorry I’m really passionate about this#all the time I sit with and listen to my parents- mostly my mum- talk about how they’re overworked and being fucked over#how her bosses are laying off part timers working communications to ‘open spots for full time workers’ who aren’t there#and how they missed their yearly pay rise at the end of 2020 because corporate just ‘couldn’t afford it’#meanwhile the tops got another pay rise that was literally about the amount she makes in a year#and they apparently upped the pay rise a little the next year but that doesn’t make a fucking difference because it means they’re all#getting less money over the course of their whole CAREERS because it’s supposed to be compounding#and I’m just so sick of everyone being fucked over like this and listening to my mum talk about how tight money is#and I’m lucky for it not to be so tight as to be noticeable- in terms of what we buy for food or the opportunities I get to have as a scout#since we don’t usually just buy things whenever- though around this time of year we’re obviously spending a lot more than usual#but I just know that most people in emergency services#these people doing really dangerous and easily potentially traumatising jobs#are not being adequately cared for and looked after by our government#I’m just so fucking sick of it all the time#the overtime and the years of missing Christmas and birthdays because the people in power won’t listen to the experts warnings#and won’t fund for the proper staffing to keep staff from undue fatigue and stress#and I know it’s harder than them than it is on me- a lot fucking harder#I mean- missing chirstmas day isn’t that big a deal#it’s happened often enough over the years and we always celebrate it on another day anyway who cares about the specifics#and birthdays are fine- a couple presides in the morning before school and work and out for something fun when we have a free day#but I know they feel so guilty for missing these things#because it’s so important to them and they can’t be there#all this stuff is mostly my mum- she’s a shift worker and she has to drive like two hours to get to work everyday and then two hours back#my dad works closer to home and mostly in infrastructure and such so it’s not as demanding for him#but even so he still has so much overtime this time of year#and because of the way he works half the time when he’s not at work he’s on call to respond to incidents#anyway I’m ranting when I should be sleeping#sorry#entirely forgot this was about sco mos incompetence anyway get fucked Scotty#Youtube
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Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.
I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.
I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.
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