#i mean her whole thing is stuff being fair so if she sees something she views as positively unfair she’d probably hate it

[gods-favorite-autistic]

My current theory for why Kipperlilly had Riz in her file is that in freshman year, Kipperlilly tried to investigate either the missing Seven or something else and Riz’s mom, being a cop, stopped her, and Kipperlilly WOULD have thought that was completely fair and that she was doing her job

Until she saw Riz doing basically the exact same fucking thing and essentially getting rewarded for it.

Like she doesn’t know all of the intricacies of what Riz is doing or why his mom is so lenient about this stuff all she sees is that it’s completely unfair to her that she has to sneak around the system while this kid is just handed what he needs

And then I’m assuming her hatred probably spread to Riz’s entire party and she convinced the rest of her party to hate the Bad Kids too

That’s just my theory but I think it makes sense

[stagefoureddiediaz]

We’ve been looking at this all wrong the entire time...

So my brain is a weird place that I don’t fully understand, but sometimes it connects dots and I figure something out that has been staring us in the face the entire time! Lets just say it explains so many things - right down to the very pointed use of tommy calling Buck Evan!

This all stemmed from me looking at colour theory and costuming for Buck and Eddie (and by extension Tommy) season 7 again, because I was going to try write the buddie costume metas for episodes 9 and 10 that I never managed to get done before we started season 8 I will hopefully get to those posts, but this post - while technically about Tommy and his costumes (yes me ant Tommy person writing a post on him I know!) it does also look at the costuming for Buck and to a lesser extent Eddie more widely across the season and what the colours used actually mean - getting some distance and some time on the season has been a blessing!

Im not going to go into it in detail, but, broadly speaking the show has given each character a signature colour - this doesn’t mean they wear it all of the time - but they do wear it a lot of the time and especially in key scenes - characters can have more than one key/ signature colour, and it can change and develop over time. We can ignore season 1 because it was a pilot season and very often shows won’t choose to establish a signature colour for a character (911 s1 is all over the place from a costuming perspective - because they had several designers working across the 10 episodes but since s2 we’ve had much more continuity with Alayna Bell-Price at the helm for most of it). So for example Athena’s signature colour is mostly black with white and khaki green also in the mix. She’s moved away from that subsequently - wearing less black and more white/creams but both colours are still staples of her wardrobe.

Eddie we all know mirrors Athena from a costuming perspective - his signature colours are also black and khaki green with some white/cream as well. The khaki green was much more dominant than the black to begin with - which played into his military past -  that had evened out on the black and khaki front whilst the cream had stayed fairly steady, but now we’re also starting to see a little bit more of it as well as some darker blues. this mirrors Athenas own journey t healing - the more she heals the less Khaki we see and the more white/cream - Eddie is starting to follow the same path from a costume perspective. 

Bucks signature colour has always been blue, but he also wears a fair amount of yellow and grey, so those are his three colours. He obviously wears a lot of other colours, especially white, but white has its own specific use in Bucks costumes that sits separately from his signature colours. 

We all know about yellow/ blue and green blue colour theory - I’ve gone on about it enough (especially yellow blue colour theory and its queer coding) and others such as @lover-of-mine have as well. Well both yellow/blue and green/blue continued to play out in season 7, I’m not going to go into them in too much detail - there are posts on my pinned post that cover that much better and I want to get to the good stuff (and I know you all do too!) 

We do need to remember that Buck and Eddie very very rarely wear blue and green in scenes together - if Eddie is in green Buck won’t be in blue, and vice versa - this is because of the ties to blue/green being Buck and Eddies break up colours - the colours they wear opposite their respective girlfriends when the relationships are ending. This is a little less set for Eddie - who actually wears white/cream much more when he’s ending relationships than blue or green - but the one time he has actively done the breaking up he was in green.

As I was starting to do a bit of work on the 7x9 and 7x10 metas, I ended up going back and looking over the Buck and Eddie costumes for the season as a whole, and how Tommy fit into all of that as well - as we’ve all been billing him as Eddie lite.

While I do still think there is an element of Tommy being Eddie lite, I don’t actually think that is what the show has been doing -that concept is a bit of a red herring. I’m sorry that this is likely to get a bit convoluted and wordy - but my brain is  still reeling and incoherent so bear with me - I hope it all makes sense.

Right this post is super long so the rest is going below the cut! I hope you enjoy!

Because I was looking for Eddie and Tommy parallels in the costuming for the season, I had been looking at the choice to put Eddie in red/black for his dinner date with Kim and Buck being in green for the scene at Bucks loft, and the fact that back in 7x04 Tommy had been dressed in the same colours - a red henley which was shot with black giving it a red/black colour way. I naturally started looking at the other Eddie - Tommy costume parallels - and there are plenty - lots of the khaki green we see Eddie in - playing into Tommys own military background.

These are Tommy’s scenes - where he wasn’t in uniform of some description (which is a good chunk of his scenes to be fair) 

7x04 

at the hangar - white tee, greenish stone coloured shirt and a tan jacket with stonewash jeans

at the court - light grey marl cut off hoodie and bright blue shorts

at Bucks loft - red/black short sleeve henley and stone wash jeans

7x05

at the restaurant -dark khaki green shirt (I would also like to point out the blue green colour theory here with the addition of tommy having a blue phone case - which is relevant later I promise!)

coffee meet up - light grey henley and navy blue hoodie with mid wash jeans

7x06

karaoke club - navy blue short sleeved henley

7x10

light grey marl tee and greenish denim shirt 

So what you can see from this is that besides the use of henley’s, the only time we get actually get direct reference to Eddies costuming is through the use of khaki green and his first outfit at the hangar. There is of course the direct parallel of the red/black colour way I spoke of before, but, beyond that if you look you’ll see that Tommys outfits actually parallel Bucks far far more. I would even argue the Henley’s are more similar to Buck than Eddie - because they are short sleeved and Eddies are invariably long sleeved.

Bucks colours are blue and grey - and so are Tommy’s - particularly in scenes that are 1-1 with Buck. What I’m trying to get at and will explain is that this has never ever been about Tommy being Eddie lite - this is all about Tommy being Buck - Buck’s subconscious if you will. (I know you all this I’m completely mad at this point - but stick with me!) I have a lot to say about all of this which will explain the why of it all and how we ended up here so we’re going to go through it Tommy costume by Tommy costume!

Lets start with the hangar scene - the most Eddie like Tommy looks throughout the entire season. this is very much intentional - this is about the red herring of it all, but it is also about Eddie (I’m not discrediting anything we’ve talked about regarding Tommy being Eddie lite etc - it is all relevant - but that’s what makes it such a good red herring!) and about Buck being an unreliable narrator. This is in part why we also still see Buck in his too short trousers and his white sneakers. This is his journey (the sneakers), but he’s still trapped in his old self at this moment in time - but aware that he doesn’t fit his skin anymore (as an aside I will be writing a post about Bucks trousers and their changing fit throughout the seasons at some point soon!)

Script wise the key lines are plentiful - the entire scene is full of double meaning. We get Buck stating that he is ‘happy where he’s at’ and Tommy’s response of ‘you’re thinking of changing things up’. viewed through the idea that Tommy is a version of Buck, this then plays out as an internal conflict - a battle about wanting what you already have - being happy with what you have, but also wanting to change things.

Eddie saying ‘you aren’t thinking of leaving us are you’ and Bucks response ‘I’m keeping my options fluid.’ Eddie needing reassurance that what they have isn’t going to change, while Bucks reply is about him not really being sure of himself - of who he is - keeping his options open because he’s figuring out if he wants to change - the line is said to and directed at Eddie so its about Buck keeping his options open about possibly changing their dynamic - becoming something more, even in the face of Eddie not wanting things to be different.  Tommy stating in this scene that Buck doesn’t need to leave the 118 to get certified to fly - that its something he could do for fun on his days off - becomes even more loaded through the internal monologue lens - Buck considering how he can stay at the 118 and have the joy, fun and benefits of ‘flying’ when he isn’t at work - that he could fly with Eddie (Eddie going flying with Tommy to do something fun and date like is a very literal visual metaphor for Bucks internal monologue - showing him what it could be like if he changed things up). There not being three tickets - only two is also important - its again a metaphor this time about how if Buck and Eddies relationship changes - it would only change for the two of them - it would become a relationship that doesn’t have room for another in it. When I say that’s about Chris not being involved it sounds really harsh, but the reality is Chris cannot be a a part of Buddie - he cannot be a part of something romantic. it isn’t saying Chris isn’t important or central to Buck and Eddie - simply that he cannot be a factor in a romantic relationship - that has to be just between Buck and Eddie alone - its kind of about Eddie (and also to a certain extent the same is true for Buck) not being able to hide behind Chris anymore when it comes to Buck.

Fundamentally its all tied back to his death in season 6 (we even get the being struck by lightening reference from Buck just to bring that aspect home) and subsequent resurrection and rebirth  (post linked on my pinned post if anyone wants to read it!). we have to keep at the front of our minds that Buck has died and that is still playing on his mind - its still influencing who he is and who he is becoming and it was all throughout season 7 - even if it wasn’t obvious or stated.

The basketball costume is actually the one that has always stood out for me - Its the most Buck outfit of all Tommys outfits. The bright blue shorts especially. 

So in that scene, which we know is supposed to read as being from Bucks view point, not only are we getting golden haloed super happy bouncy Eddie - Eddie the way Buck sees him -  but Buck is also projecting and seeing Tommy in the place he (Buck) has always existed in. It’s a visual representation of what Buck talked about with Maddie and Tommy replacing him in Eddies life.  Its unreliable narrator buck in visuals he’s seeing Eddie replacing him with Tommy - occupying the same places Buck has and more - from the calendar to the basketball court.

But that’s actually wonderful, because not only does it give us information on how Buck views himself (as expendable/replaceable) and how he thinks others view him - because if he thinks he’s similar to Tommy (which for a purely visual stand point he is - Lou looks more like Oliver than Ryan) but it also gives us information about the reality of how much Buck is actually intwined in Eddies (and Christophers) life - its telling us that Buck is in fact on Eddies calendar (and therefore fridge - fridge magnet theory for the win!) and how much space and conversation he occupies in the Diaz’s everyday life.

So he isn’t actually seeing Eddie in Tommy at all - he’s actually seeing the version of himself he doesn’t think he is but wants to be in Tommy. The version of himself that takes Eddie to vegas etc - that’s the Buck that Buck wants to be - the one openly flirting with Eddie and taking him on dates etc. That’s why the vegas fight is so seemingly ott (especially when you think about the fact Tommy and Eddie have known each other a week or so at most by this point) its the grand gesture Buck wishes he could be making.

All of this also makes Bucks ‘attack on Eddie’ more telling (it’s still the boy pulling the girl he likes pig tails in the playground concept) because Eddie is being receptive to all of these advances by Tommy - adding further weight to the Buck being jealous of and threatened by Tommy. 

Tommy is this version of Buck swooping in and doing all this stuff that Buck wants to be doing (subconsciously still at this point - willful ignorance be winning) but either didn’t know how to or didn’t know Eddie if would be receptive to. Remembering that this is all Bucks viewpoint of things its essentially Bucks brain showing him what dating Eddie would be like and Buck being Buck misunderstands what his brain is telling him (forever misunderstanding the assignment).

There is a second aspect to this and it ties into Tim’s comments about the hamster wheel Buck has a been stuck on and it being time he got off it - the hamster wheel is actually multifaceted and has more than one meaning. The most important is that the hamster wheel hasn’t ever been about his relationships or about the women he’s dating (or men now). The hamster wheel he’s stuck on is actually the fact that he’s built this strong relationship and family with Eddie and Chris - (you don’t find it son you make it) and its something safe and stable and predictable in his life. Getting off that hamster wheel is about being brave and moving that relationship - that family dynamic onto the next level - removing the platonic aspect of their family and making it a fully formed family for real - romantic love and all - so the ‘platonic’ family is the hamster wheel he actually needs to get off of. 

The other aspect of Tommy actually being Buck and the hamster wheel of it all is that hamster wheels are solitary pursuits - the implication is that Buck is the one standing in his own way - and coming back to the basketball game we see that played out in the moment where Buck tries to literally run through Tommy - only you can’t act out at yourself, and Tommy is a literal solid unmoving barrier and Buck won’t get past himself by just trying to bulldoze his way through.

This all then plays into the final Buck and Tommy scene of the episode - in bucks loft. I already spoke above about the red/black of it all, but now with the added concept of Tommy being A version of Buck things start to become more interesting. The red/black of it all is a warning (and the poker date red/black velvet suit and eddies red and black suit from s6 actually play into this as well!) - its dark romance - ‘forbidden’ dangerous romance or love. So for Eddie and his date with Kim that meaning is very self explanatory. The two season 6 suits are also fairly self explanatory - for Eddie again its the dangers of looking for romance that isn’t on your own terms and for Buck at the poker game its about the danger of falling in love with the person you are when you aren’t being truly yourself. Tommy being a version of Buck and this concept is a little more murky - essentially is about a similar thing to his poker suit - with a twist - its about the danger of seeing more value and loving a version of yourself that ‘used to exist’ as well as a version of yourself that you think will make you more attractive to others.

We do also need to Talk about Bucks costume here as well - the fact that it fits him almost perfectly - he’s in well fitted if slightly loose jeans and a navy shirt that isn’t tight with buttons not clinging on for dear life (to the same extent). The colouring is still on the dark side - so its not entirely positive - much in the same way that other scenes with buck in a dark navy shirt are moments where things go a bit askew for Buck (think the  taylor ‘I kinda love you for it’ scene from s5 as an example). The implication is that - before Tommy comes along Buck is at his most content with who he is - he’s fitting into his skin better than he has in a long while but it’s not perfect. This is key, firstly because of how the scene unfolds and secondly, because of how he is then costumed from here on out for the rest of the season.

I do also want to mention the yellow blue colour coding in this scene and that is mostly done through the lighting - Buck is in blue and the light behind him is always yellow - he is surrounded by yellow light. In contrast - Tommy is barely touched by the yellow light - not until Buck starts to figure things out - then we get him briefly touched by the yellow light - the rest of the time he is lit very cooly - which is in contrast to the warmth of the loft - and further plays into the idea of Tommy being a stand in for Evan - Evan who isn't loved and accepted in the same way Buck is - Evan who Buck needs to learn to love.

If we look at the script for this scene, it also fits in perfectly with the idea of Bucks internal monologue.  Tommy and Eddie being ‘buddie’s’ making perfect sense is a literal aside to the audience telling them that Buddie makes perfect sense - but it is more than that. This is where I have to bring up the ‘Evan’ of it all. I know a lot of us shudder with horror because of the fact Tommy only ever calls Buck ‘Evan’ and how both jarring and rude it is. How it shows how little Tommy knows Buck. We’ve always known it was being done intentionally. Well, if we view the use of Evan through the lens of Tommy being a version of Buck and things become clearer.  Because Tommy is basically the old version of Buck - the Buck who existed before he knew Eddie - before he joined the 118. And this is where the choice to bring back Tommy specifically for this role becomes a really smart one - because ‘Evan call me Buck Buckley’ was Tommys replacement at the 118. Tommy who has a problematic past that has never been dealt with on screen. This isn’t about the nature of the problematic past. This is the show playing on the idea of Buck’s software upgrades - before Buck 1.0 there was Evan, and using who Buck replaced at the 118 as a plot device to actually dig into Evan more so that Buck can deal with, accept and move on from Evan and become who Buck is meant to be.

Tommy saying he couldn’t replace Buck furthers this - because Buck cannot go back to being Evan - Evan can never replace Buck. invoking Christopher adds weight to this - because Chris never knew Evan - he’s only ever known Buck and Buck is ‘his Buck’ and irreplaceable. Tommy then stating his jealousy is about Evan feeling the lack of family that he grew up with - the recognition that as Buck he has made a family for himself - Bucks assertion that Tommy (Evan) was a part of it is valid - because without Evan Buck couldn’t build the family he has. The entirety of this conversation is about Buck choosing to ‘get to know’ his past (remember this is coming of the back of Buck crossing out the ‘LEY’ on his nameplate in s6 and his struggles with his parents acceptance in that season before the lightening strike), choosing to learn about Evan and embrace him as a part of Buck.  

Bucks assertion that he was ‘trying to get [Tommys] attention and it being exhausting’ is part of that as is the confusion Tommy expresses. The choice for Buck to use the word ‘exhausting’ - it’s Bucks subconscious trying to get his own attention - its his subconscious telling Buck that he’s exhausting himself by not listening to what his inner voice is saying. It’s of course a play on Buck being called exhausting by other people (and is perhaps why he doesn’t have the confidence to listen to that inner voice) and that also plays into the Evan of it all and how Buck views himself. Tommys confusion also plays into that - bucks own mind is confused - it was getting ready to ‘pursue’ Eddie but now we’re pivoting into what is essentially self love.

The continued bringing up of Eddie also makes sense with the contact of Tommy being alt Buck - because Eddie Eddie Eddie fills Bucks heart and mind - Both Evan and Buck recognise Eddies importance if not his full relevance in this moment. The resulting kiss then becomes less about Bucks bi awakening (I am not diminishing the importance of that in any way shape or form - its a vital aspect of Bucks journey) and more about Bucks decision to pursue loving himself - this ties into his statement ‘it wasn’t about me wanting to leave the 118 - it was about wanting to get to know you’ - its about Buck wanting to get to know himself - on the other side of his death and resurrection. It’s a continuation of his comments about Natalia ‘seeing him perhaps better than he sees himself’ - it’s about Buck starting to see himself better now he’s died and essentially been reborn and bout Buck now being in a place where he feels ready to confront that idea of being reborn and becoming someone new.

At the restaurant in 7x05 we have Tommy in an Eddie colour, but in a shirt that is much more Bucks style. There is also the green/blue colour play with Tommy stating Buck isn’t ready and Tommys ‘mismatched’ clothing bears that up - the play is on Bucks lingering confusion and uncertainty about what he wants - is it the Eddie side of things we’re pursuing the self love of Evan aspect we’re looking to explore? The entire scene is not just about Bucks first ‘date with a dude’ its also about Bucks fumbled attempts at self love - at not getting it right - its why Bucks outfit doesn’t fit him- why they’re now too big and baggy (I wrote about this in my costume meta for that episode - which like all the other costume posts can be found linked on my pinned post).  The innuendo about closets and Buck going into masculine bro mode is as much about his nervousness about being on a date with Tommy and being seen as it is about the fact that a man practicing self love is still taboo and so often met with derision - hiding that you are pursuing that is a kin to hiding queerness - at the start - until you get to a good place with it.

We side step into the Buck and Eddie loft scene briefly to look at Bucks confession to Eddie - I could write a whole thing on Eddies acceptance of Buck and its importance - but that is for a different post that isn’t already a million words long! what I want to mention in this scene is the why Buck can’t stop thinking about Tommy of it all - how it is essentially establishing the idea that Buck is starting to listen to himself.  He can’t stop thinking about Tommy because it isn’t Tommy he can’t stop thinking about it’s actually himself - Evan - in a learning to love himself and embrace who he is and was kind of way - all being done through a bi lens. it is essentially about Buck doing the thing he needs to do to be ready for a forever relationship with Eddie - which is love and accept himself - all of himself and acknowledging that to Eddie.

Buck switches back to better fitting clothes for the coffee date - and tommy is now dressed back in Buck colours and no trace of anything resembling Eddie in sight - making it clear that Buck has chosen to pursue himself. To get himself to the place he needs and wants to be first - the line about not knowing what it is he’s ready for but being ready for something is key - its a very self love line, but it also puts a very clear time frame on things - it makes it clear that Tommy is not endgame - because Bucks choosing self love and embracing and understanding ‘Evan’ isn’t his end game but a part of his bigger journey - a part of becoming who he needs to be to achieve what he actually wants - to get him to his endgame.

Then we have the Karaoke - brief scene(s). There isn’t really a huge amount in these scenes. But I do want to point out two things - the awkwardness of Buck and Tommys hug - and how that plays into the tentative nature of Bucks self love journey - and also Eddies behaviour towards Tommy - and the way it was very very clearly a lot cooler than we saw in 7x04.

We all jumped on the Petty Eddie train - and I agree there is an element of that. But - there is also the fact we are not seeing that scene through Bucks eyes - its through external eyes and we are therefore seeing the actual reality of Eddie and Tommys friendship - in that it isn’t this heightened date like - flirty new love type relationship - its simply two people who are loosely friends. Its remarkably normal and no threatening - only furthering the entire purpose of 7x04 being from Bucks viewpoint and Tommy being an alt Buck rather than an alt Eddie. It also therefore serves to further establish the Buddie of it all (but we all already knew that!). Tommy is still in Buck colours and the short sleeved henley is still something I would put more into the Buck costume camp than the Eddie one - especially in this season! 

The final Tommy scene and costume is the date at Bucks loft and the conversation about daddy kink. I still don’t like this scene (which has a lot more to do with execution and the script than the actual daddy kink of it all) but I am much more sanguine about it now that I understand what it is setting up.

Bear with me here I probably won’t make sense, but with the knowledge that Tommy is actually buck lite - a less good and developed version buck (Evan and in part the version of Buck that Buck himself thinks he is) the daddy kink scene actually becomes about setting up Buck addressing his past and his actual real daddy issues - because bucks past self sees his worth in those issues and without them it means both Evan and Buck have no worth. Buck confronting and dealing with them and choosing to forgive and move on means the end of Buck and Tommy because Tommy is no longer needed - he has served his purpose and Buck would be ready to start his future - Evan stays in the past and Buck completes his rebirth and closes his lightening strike arc.

Onto Bucks season 8 journey - Bringing Gerrard in to Bucks arc rather than the others who have far more connection to Gerrard now begins to make much more sense. Tommys past under Gerrard actually echoes Bucks past - in different ways and to vastly different degrees, but the parallel is there.  S1 Buck being a play boy and sleeping around and not treating women especially well (objectifying them etc) because of his own hang ups - is a pale echo of Tommy being closeted and racist sexist and homophobic under Gerrard. Like I said before - Buck is a pale imitation to Tommy here and that’s intentional (more in a sec) because once Tommy is under the wing of Bobby when he takes over the 118 we see him begin to grow and change. Buck follows the same pattern - Bobbys guidance pulls him away from his destructive behaviours and sets him onto the right path (Bobby is arguably the birther of Buck - Look I could write a whole thing off the back of my death and resurrection of Buck post about Bobbys role as God - the heavenly father - in Bucks life and how that is the overarching theme of Bobby and the show but I don’t have the time tbh!) to ‘redemption’.

Bucks behaviour is very intentionally not as bad as Tommys behaviour, because if Tommy is the plot device meant to essentially represent Bucks subconscious and how he views himself, then the reason we haven’t been shown Tommy atoning for any of his past sins and behaviours is because Buck hasn’t forgiven himself for his own. Buck is his own worst critic and will self flagellate to a ridiculous degree - and again with him being an unreliable narrator - he views his past indiscretions as being the equivalent of Tommys - therefore in his mind he hasn’t yet done enough to deserve absolution (Buck and Bobby being father and son in this as well!). 

Which brings me to s8 and the return of Gerrard and what Bucks arc is going to be (this is slightly incoherent and not fully formed - I’m still percolating!). Gerrard being central to Bucks arc - and Bucks push back is imo going to be about Buck taking a good look at himself and recognising/ facing up to and accepting his past. And that actually does come down to the daddy issues of it all. Because if Bobby is as good as Bucks dad - and allowed him (and his subconscious in the form of Tommy) to develop and grow - then Gerrard is Phillip Buckley (obviously a heightened more terrible version of reality in the same way Tommy is a much worse version of Buck) who parented Evan through apathy and taking the easy route - we saw Evan pushing back against Phillip in Buck Begins and being rewarded for it and thus establishing Bucks self destructive and self sacrificing pattern of behaviour. Acting out and getting hurt got him attention - so Buck acting out against Gerrard is this reduced and will ultimately have the same results just in an essentially more destructive way.  This is is a good thing - because this is about Buck recognising that he is worth and acting out etc is detrimental to him progressing as a person - its going to actively prevent his self love journey to flourish (and this is why in part I maintain my belief that Tommy is going to, if not encourage Bucks behaviour, then at least tell him to go along with Gerrard demands - for an easy life and also part of why I don’t think we’ll see a huge amount of Tommy - at least to begin with - until we get to a point where Buck is really motoring on the self love journey and getting to the point where he needs to do some pre break up face to face conversations that move him forward!).  It’s about forgiving and accepting his father for how Evan was raised - Bucks arc is going to be about forgiving himself and allowing himself to be happy, and he cannot do that if he doesn’t go through the Gerrard stuff - which is essentially a type of therapy. That’s also where I think the golf comes into it - it’s a metaphor for Buck building bridges, gaining understanding and accepting his past with his father - the metaphor of the driving range being the idea of standing side by side and performing the same thing, but landing in different places. There is also the concept of improving ones self and choosing to not repeat the mistakes of the past.

It also means the thing Tim said about Buck and Tommy becoming more comfortable with one another makes much more sense, and why he’d flip the question to talk about Eddie and about Eddie feeling a bit left out in the cold but not out in the cold! Buck is becoming more comfortable with himself and while he’s doing that and learning to be happy etc as I described above. Eddie is going to feel left out - because this is about Buck not Eddie - because it’s about Buck being ready for forever with Eddie - and Eddie ultimately cannot be a part of that journey - Buck has to do it for himself in the same way that Buck cannot help or be there while Eddie goes through his reckoning with the Catholic Church, and faiths place in his life and also dealing with the ghost of Shannon and his mother issues(because he has those and they are all set up to go in s8 - Chris being in Texas really sets that up nicely!

Bahaha Tim I’ve finally figured out your question answering methods and how they tell us all we need to know!! 

All this to say - Tommy is actually alt Buck - not Eddie lite (I mean he is still also that but it’s a bit of a red herring) he is a plot device for the biggest thing about Buck as a character and it all means Buddie here we come!

Thank you so so much if you have read this epic piece of waffle - I hope you enjoyed and I truly look forward to hearing all your thoughts on this and to you being as insane about it as I am!

Tagging some people who asked (and some who didn’t but might be interested anyway!)

@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lover-of-mine @fruityfirehose @leothil

@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @theladyyavilee @livingwherethesidewalkends @craigyxo

@izzysbeans @buddiediaz118 @inell @hotshotsxyz @winterskydragonx

[ns-media]

Incredibly long analysis on Oda's thoughts on romance, way of portraying romance and LuNami in One Piece

Okay, so I want to make a LOOOOONG post about something interesting that's been on my mind for a while, about romance in One Piece. I was originally going to post it on Twitter but this post is way too long for that platform. I always preferred posting here, but not too many people are here nowadays. Anyway, onto the main topic here. I'll be talking about Oda's portrayal of and thoughts about romance, how he views it, why he puts a good chunk of it in "non-canon" material and so on. This post is to understand Oda's perspective on romance and why he goes about it the way he goes about it. I'm a LuNami fan, so this is also to make a point about how he decides to portray them.

Do not read this if you don’t want to see me express unfavorable opinions (and also factual information) about LuHan and other ships I just don't see working out, as they basically don’t fall in line with how romance works in Oda’s work. I'm not mean-spirited about it though. (Also I'll be bringing up SanPu for a bit too, in a favorable way) I am guaranteed to get at least one eyebrow raise or a "What the fuck are you talking about?" from any person reading this whole thing, but that's fine. I'll only tag LuNami because this is for LuNami fans.

Anyhow, in an interview with Aoyama back in 2022, Oda stated how he doesn’t want to include actual romance into his story and how he’s fine with one-sided stuff. His reason is because he fears he would lose certain fans for doing so. This is an interesting statement.

First, if you read this up here, it essentially confirms how Oda doesn’t see one-sided affection as romance so there’s no reason to think that Sanji or Boa’s affection are hints when they’re both for comedic effect.

The reason they're one-sided in the first place is not because he's teasing you with the idea that the other might return that affection one day, no he treats it as a joke, it's as straightforward as that. I don't understand how people try to act like it's not purely for humor. If he intended on making something like Boa and Luffy’s relationship as something to seriously consider being “romance” then Boa wouldn’t be so humorously delusional even after being rejected twice in back to back chapters, she’d be taken aback at the very least. But doesn’t. Why? It’s a joke.

I mean for heaven’s sake, whenever this gag is used with Nyon around, she’s the voice of reason, y’know, a woman who also experienced the same kind of delusional love once? Again it’s all a joke, the entire point of Boa’s gag is that it’s love that’s supposed unreciprocated.

Also, the second time he rejected her was him rejecting her before she even got to ask anything...

This lets us know that Luffy knows how persistent she in trying to get with him and also implying that Luffy is going to say no, no matter what, as he knows how desperate and persistent she is about it. Now that I think about it, Rayleigh left Luffy to train by himself for 6 months before the timeskip fully ended, Rayleigh's supervision made it to where Boa couldn't get to Luffy, but after he left, was fully capable of doing so. I mean just look at Boa down here:

Yeah she said she won't go and remain strong for Luffy's sake, but with her being the way she is, I wouldn't be surprised if Boa in those 6 months went to the island and was asking Luffy multiple times which was how he was able to reject her before even knowing. If what we saw in Chapter 598 was the first time he rejected her, he wouldn't be so quick to know that she was gonna ask it again when he rejected her the 2nd time on panel. We know that the Kuja girls KNEW that Rayleigh left half a year ago as well, meaning they must've gotten to the island itself if they found this out. Unless Rayleigh told them directly, which, to be fair, is likely, but if he didn't, this implies that Boa has been talking to Luffy on the island in those 6 months, and if so, would definitely have brought up marriage at least once, or a lot, honestly, thus explaining Luffy being able to shut down her marriage request before even knowing what she was going to say, because he already heard it THAT much in those 6 months. Now, I don't truly believe that Oda thought of it like that, but it does make logical sense so I figured "why not bring it up".

Also, in a 2014 interview with Fuji TV about the 3D2Y special, Oda's editor mentioned that not only Buggy but BOA bring in the comedic elements into the arc and how they're comic relief characters, again making it obvious that even his editors understand that Boa’s infatuation is a complete joke for the sake of comedy. Same with Sanji. Being a gentleman is part of his character but he tries to score every woman. Why? Jokes.

Even if you somehow use the argument of “Oh but this behavior of his is even stronger towards Nami specifically” I don’t see how any of that can be seen as a “shipping hint” and not a gag that’s exaggerated even further, cause he’s still hitting on every woman. Besides, the first time he actually got his heart broken by a woman was by Pudding, and never Nami, Robin and every other woman despite getting rejected a billion times by them. Why? Because the Nami/Robin affection is for comedy while the story between Sanji and Pudding is supposed to be taken seriously.

It's why Oda went out of his way for Sanji to write a dedicated story between the two, with Sanji getting genuinely sad when Pudding talked shit about him only for everything to turn around by the end where she actually likes him. THAT is a romance story with substance behind it, and Oda clearly wrote it like there is merit to it. There is obviously a story written here with a beginning to an end, Sanji acts no different towards Nami in Wano than in say, Punk Hazard. Beginning of Whole Cake vs end of Whole Cake Sanji is on entirely different terms with Pudding and she is on entirely different terms with him. There is development, a plot, a purpose that impacts the plot. Not just "Haha jokes".

Soooo yeah that’s the first thing I wanted to address regarding that statement.

Second, Oda saying “I don’t want to include romance because I don’t wanna lose fans” may seem like an odd thing for him to say at first given how Oda post-timeskip portrays actual romance in his story, and plenty of times, I might add. This was when Oden/Toki was relatively fresh too so there’s no way he forgot he did so. Because of that, Oda is referring to romance for specific characters rather than for the characters he’s already written romance stories about.

So this basically means that Oda’s fear of losing readers obviously doesn’t stem from the romance stories he has already written, it’s very clear from the interview that he’s hesitant to write romance out of fear of losing some of his readers. But of course as we know, he clearly has written blatant romance already, primarily with non-main characters like Rebecca’s parents, Rouge/Roger, etc. It makes plenty of sense for Oda to not be afraid or hesitant to write romance stories/romantic elements for those non-main characters.

Because well, those stories written are basically all backstories that are over in a few chapters (Senor Pink/Russian) or briefly talked about (like the aforementioned Rouge and Roger.) As such, there’s no long-term impact on the story.

Notice how in the only case of a STRAW HAT having a blatant romance story (Sanji/Pudding), it is a character who's most defining character trait is his lovey dovey/romantic behavior? Oda most likely felt more comfortable giving a romance story to Sanji specifically as that goes with his personality, and likely felt he would not be getting backlash for giving the LOVE cook a romantic story. (Because again keep in mind he clearly stated he's hesitant to include romance due to losing fans of the characters getting romantically involved)

But STILL, even with all of that, the impact of this love story from Sanji's perspective is just erased entirely as Pudding erased his memories, as if Oda is being particularly protective of the Straw Hats getting impacted by any obviously permanent romantic development. (Because as I said SanPu is on entirely different terms from the beginning to the end of WCI, so their romance plot had impact on the story.)

So, because of how romance in One Piece is basically all deceased/minor characters having short backstories or in the case of the one Straw Hat who got a blatant romance story, (I said blatant cause you could say Usopp/Kaya, but it’s not super obviously blatant the way SanPu is) erased from his brain, there’s no obvious long-term impact that romance seems to have in One Piece.

I very much think that this “obvious long-term impact” is what Oda wants to avoid so badly, particularly for the Straw Hats (the main characters of the story). This is because this long-term impact would make it apparent to his readers that romance has a fundamental and established role in the story of One Piece as something important, which goes against his target audience of boys, who, from his point of view, don’t like it.

This idea Oda has stems from how Jump used to be when he was a kid, as clearly stated in the interview with Aoyama. It’s his own experiences with how boys manga are “supposed” to be coupled with his insecurities about being embarrassed to write romance that makes him hesitant to do just that.

This is why I scoff at the idea of “No romance in the crew” being used as an actual argument. People use that argument as if Oda himself is completely against the idea of anybody in the crew getting together, despite the painfully crystal clear reason for “no romance in the crew” being to not alienate readers and lose said readers as he is under the impression that boys won’t like that because of how he thinks that everyone still has this idea that they should be segregated due to how it was when he was a kid himself. It's why he said "People are so supportive of couples!" all surprised in the interview with Aoyama, clearly being surprised about the positive reception it gets that he didn't think it would get. It has nothing to do with him hating the very concept of romance, it's him being under the wrong impression on what his young male readers would find acceptable or not.

There is a reason why almost every single time that he brings up or hints at any, ANY hesitance or opposition towards romance in the crew, he brings up his readers. ALMOST. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. He tries to please his target audience. “It’s a shounen manga” or “the readers” he keeps saying, despite not even being asked about his readers' opinion. "I don't think there will be any romance in that crew" is said clearly because "It's a shounen manga THEY won't be interested" not because "OMG WTF I HATE ROMANCE BETWEEN THEM GTFO!" the way people intentionally misconstrue this to be. He even says "Nami probably sees all the good aspects/qualities of those guys, BUT One Piece isn't a romance" So he LITERALLY says that his reason isn't "She does not like any of her crewmates in a romantic way!" but instead says "Well it's not a story about romance and I think only girls care so I won't show or depict it because I think my primary young male audience wouldn't give a shit". Nothing about himself. Legitimately nothing about his own opinions about supposedly being disgusted with nakama romance. Gotta love the made-up narrative being presented as a fact to the fandom at large.

Oda's "but" could have EASILY been followed up with something like this: "Nami probably sees all the good aspects/qualities of those guys, BUT she doesn't see them in a romantic way and I don't want it to be that way" or something, but instead essentially opted for "Nami probably sees all the good aspects/qualities of those guys, BUT think of my young male audience! They don't care about romance. They'd probably hate it if I decide to capitalize on Nami seeing their good qualities as romantic, right? After all, only girls want it! It must only be them for asking this!" What I am saying isn't even me grasping at straws, it's RIGHT THERE. "I don't think there will be romance in the crew cause boys will not like it". Bam, that's all it is. I know I am repeating myself but it seriously bears repeating because of how so many people see that one answer in particular as the ultimate evidence against Mugiwara romance. Oda seems like he's being evasive on purpose with that answer, talking about how concerned he is about the opinions of boys while not once talking about whether or not he would like to write it or not.

Also for the love of everything can we get someone who has the untranslated version of this answer? Given how Japanese language works I would not be surprised in the slightest if he's even more evasive than in VIZ's translation.

How people come to the conclusion that he’s disgusted by the very idea of a Mugiwara couple being a thing is beyond me when it’s as clear as day that he opens his mouth about “his readers” and “his audience” for a reason.

I mean hell, Strong World was originally going to be a movie about Nami’s past and the reason he changed it was because of how he kept his TARGET AUDIENCE in mind. He kept the young boys he appealed to in mind despite clearly wanting to write something else at first.

Him pleasing his audience doesn’t equal “I really don’t want this to be a thing”. If anything, he restricts his desires purely on the basis that he thinks whatever he wants to write is not what other people want, why the hell wouldn't you think this applies to the idea of "no romance in the crew" when he literally spoonfed us the reason being exactly that in the earlier photo of the Jump Fests '09 interview?

He clearly wants to avoid it because of this idea that his male audience will take issue with it and not because he doesn’t wanna do it himself. This why he said “Seriously!?” all surprised when Aoyama said he wouldn’t leave if he decided to implement romance into his story, and he was saying this to a man who writes romance and has already said “I love romantic comedies” 2 sentences ago. Oda is THAT unsure of himself and he's THAT much under the impression that males have no interest in romance. I rarely if ever see people bring this up.

There's a sense of insecurity Oda has on the topic of romance. When Aoyama said “I guess you have no interest in love comedies” Oda didn’t say yes or even imply that he's right about that being the case. He just said “I’m not confident I could draw those, it's a bit embarrassing” Again, he's insecure about it. Not AGAINST it. He basically spells it out for you. But many people still pretend as if he's saying all of this because he's supposedly disgusted by romance among the crew being a thing, only because that made up narrative supports what THEY want to be the case, instead of looking into the actual reason for as to why he's saying all these things.

As I said before, almost every single time he is hesitant to write romance he mentions his audience, but in the situations he doesn't bring up his audience, he instead mentions how he's embarrassed to do it. I mean when asked in a 2019 interview with Oda, he was embarrassed when asked if he incorporates arguments with his wife into how Nami argues, perhaps showcasing how he's embarrassed to talk about his wife (ya know, the person he loves) in other words, the person he's romantically attached to. This is definitely a stretch so I'm not saying that I seriously think that this is more proof on how he's embarrassed/insecure about romance, but I figured it was worth bringing up. But embarrassment aside, he also cares a lot about his manga keeping face to his boy audience.

This leads me to the next thing… Oda’s involvement with the movies. Notice how, every single time he’s involved with writing the plot there’s always some LuNami stuff he wants to throw in there?

Strong World obviously, as well as parts of Film: Gold. Now, at first things seem… odd. The LuNami hints between the two in those films are quite a bit more on the nose than anything Oda has written in the manga, like a oh-so clear parallel between Tesoro and Luffy. At first it puzzled me why Oda would relegate these stories and moments to movies. And then, if you read the Aoyama interview, things start to make sense why he approaches things this way.

Movies aren’t treated as a main part of the story by people, it’s not the manga. You have to go out of your way to see the movie. There's no need to watch the movie to understand One Piece's main manga story. Look at the contrast between Chapter 0 and Strong World itself. Chapter 0 is manga content and it seems so much more concerned with the action and hype the young boys are there for (obviously cause it takes place decades before the current canon but that was a deliberate choice, it could've easily been like how Glorious Island, being a prequel to Film Z, was contemporary to the story). While there still is a bunch of that hype/action in the movie itself, there are also romantic elements thrown in there. It's kind of like Oda's experimenting, testing the waters with those movies. It makes sense for him to approach it this way. People who so happen to hate the addition of (LuNami) romance are willing to let things slide and overlook it because said romance is in a movie they don't have to watch.

So basically a non-mandatory-to watch movie provides Oda with more leeway, or rather makes him more comfortable to add what he wants, allowing him to put just a little bit of obvious romantic themes revolving LuNami.

Although it’s just a BIT of leeway, as Oda still kept the young boys in mind as he, of course, changed the movie from what it was originally supposed to be from something darker to something more light-hearted.

Here's where we get to the main point of this long wall of text: After three seconds. See, this could have easily, EASILY been animated into the movie, it’s as simple as having a 1 minute scene of everyone hearing the final part of the message, it could have easily been the post-credits scene, heck 1 minute is probably a lot more than what was necessary to show after three seconds animated. So why did it not happen in the movie? Probably because Nami was blushing.

Blushing is the most cliché and obvious way to tell if someone is into someone else (unless it’s physical like kissing). Oda, likely due to him keeping his young male audience in mind, relegated it to something even MORE obscure than a movie you don't necessarily have to watch, instead of through said movie, it’s through… these pin things? I honestly don’t even know what the heck it’s supposed to be. I know that One Piece Color Walk 6 featured it...

...but I don’t know the origin of this or how it was distributed before the color walk. Was it given to people in theaters? Was this purchasable merch? Did it come with the DVD/Blu-Ray as an extra? There's so little information online on where in the world this came from, and that just goes to show how oddly obscure it is, as if Oda did this on purpose just so that as little people would find about it. As if he thinks “Okay my intentions will be too obvious if this gets put in the movie itself, let me try something else”. It makes sense given how he's clearly shy about the whole romance thing as I explained earlier. Of course in the movie proper Sanji still mentions the whole love message thing but without Nami explicitly blushing at Luffy hearing it, naysayers can easily just interpret it as one of Sanji's self-serving delusions as always, as Nami doesn't show explicit emotions (blushing) giving away that it's really a love message.

Yes, everything I am saying about this isn't some guaranteed factual info or whatever, but this makes WAY too much sense. He had no reason to make this featuring Nami blushing but he did anyway, like it’s a way for him to draw what he wanted without being overly concerned with his demographic at large getting to see this, you know. And it worked! For example, a lot of the LuNami naysayers point out how the message wasn't romantic and they all say it without the knowledge of After three seconds. Oda did a good job with keeping this art on the down low because let's be honest, who outside of the shipping community or people analyzing shipping to insane degrees (me right now) even know about after three seconds? Exactly.

And by the way, you can’t even say that Nami is blushing out of embarassment for everyone hearing it. In that artwork where she blushed, she knows damn well at that point that the only person on the ship who didn't hear the last part is Luffy, so she’s clearly blushing because of how LUFFY SPECIFICALLY heard it, she blushes once she’s realized that he heard it, it’s that straightforward. And Oda wrote Nami saying "It's embarrassing!" in reference to the message.

Oda is the same man who is embarrassed to write very on the nose romance. Not saying "Oh dude this totally means Oda is projecting how he feels writing after three seconds/the ending of Strong World onto Nami by making her say it's embarrassing meaning he sees this as romantic because HE is embarrassed about romance!" ....Well okay I totally AM saying that buuut I am not saying that it's actually true. I just wanted to bring it up lol.

Another perfect example of relegating obvious romantic things to obscure content is a certain sketch. And it’s in the heroine novel, obviously aimed at girls instead of boys, and oh would you look at that:

Oda does a complete 180 and features Nami with Luffy’s hat on with a HEART IN HER HAND… seriously, how more obvious can this sketch get? It can't! And it doesn't need to be subtle this time! Oda knows that on average more girls are going to care about romance so why be subtle here? In the past he said specifically that he thinks girl readers keep asking him questions related to romance, as I clearly said before, and this here novel is targeted at girls as opposed to boys. There’s no reason for Luffy’s hat to be on her, especially because, well, he has nothing to do with Nami's novel, it's not like he plays a role in it. Nami post-timeskip is pretty much never seen wearing his hat before this sketch, making it very peculiar for him to draw her like this here on something aimed towards girls, the demographic he keeps mentioning "loves romance and keeps asking me to include it in One Piece". Seriously, the ONE TIME to bring it back in like, a decade, and it’s done like this? It feels ridiculous to call people crazy for thinking it has to mean something given all the context I have provided.

I mean, notice how in the main manga storyline, Nami hasn’t had his since SKYPIEA??? Hell, even then, she has only had it on her head once in the main manga in Arlong Park, yet Oda made Nami wear the hat in color spreads, which are treated as not important at all by a lot of readers. Color spreads by casual or young readers are usually looked at like “Huh cool artwork I guess, not going to extensively think about it though”, again giving Oda a liiitttle bit more leeway than his main manga story. Why else do you think that Luffy and Nami are CONSISTENTLY portrayed as King and Queen in color spreads and not the main manga storyline? Because from Oda's perspective it gives naysayers or the boys who in his mind supposedly hate romance leeway to say "Oh it's just a color spread! Just fun little aesthetic stuff!", in other words, nothing to take seriously. If he wrote it into his main manga story he would have to explain why Luffy and Nami would dress up as King and Queen too, again making things a loooot more explicit depending on the way he goes about it, and he's already insecure about it, so.... I'm just saying.

Also come on, there has to be a reason why Oda has portrayed Nami with Luffy’s hat plenty of times after Skypiea yet none of those times were in the story proper, just like the movies he's involved in being heavily focused on Nami herself or LuNami. He himself wrote Tesoro and Stella's romance, he himself said that ROMANCE WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR FILM: GOLD yet is much more adamant about romance being included in his manga storyline and it was HIS idea to parallel the romance for Tesoro/Stella that he wrote with Luffy/Nami. Almost as if he is less concerned with a certain audience for the movies and side material than he his for his manga... Nah, that's ridiculous!

Isn’t it just weird how a lot of the side content Oda makes/is involved in is more on the nose with shipping hints? To me it seems like his thought process is “Okay! I can finally do something I want to! I want to make a movie about Luffy saving Nami with a few romantic undertones thrown in there… I could’ve easily made an arc like this in the manga but, can’t let my main audience be disappointed, can I?” Arlong Park and Skypiea are the only times in the manga in which Nami gets to be saved by Luffy. (Funnily enough they’re both are the only times in the main story where Luffy gives Nami his hat.) Both arcs were so long ago. It just seems to me like he wrote Strong World and the romance aspect of Film: Gold to scratch his “Nami gets saved by Luffy” itch. Even with the Zou hug being a thing, it is not something that Oda puts emphasis on at all, it’s pretty zoomed out in the manga, as if he is avoiding any overly direct intimacy that the readers he’s catering to would catch on to. It’s all too suspicious to me.

All this isn't to say that Oda doesn't do any LuNami stuff in the main manga storyline, it just that he's not mega obvious with it at all and doesn't plan to include said mega obvious hints as long as his concern with his boy audience remains there. So it doesn't invalidate any LuNami hints that people think happened in the manga like Nami blushing over the CPR Reiju gave (naysayers could easily say she was just shocked unlike Strong World where it's blatantly her blushing over Luffy hearing what Sanji called a "love message") or things that are more subtle like Nami's "I don't want to marry yet" in Thriller Bark, I'm just saying that cliché hints of romance is what he would like to avoid, something cliché enough that his shounen audience would figure out.

As a side note, Oda's "People seem so supportive of couples!" is also interesting as before his Aoyama interview he always knew/thought that girls are always the ones ask him for romance and as such of course he would know the female demographic would care more about it, so this surprise about people seeming supportive of couples may or may not be him realizing that it's not just girls who are interested, but perhaps boys too. Of course we all know that Oda drew Luffy and Nami together for Aoyama, the author he just talked about romance with. Now again not saying "Oh man this HAS to be a LuNami hint!" because they talked about much more than just romance, but still, something to consider!

Oda's "Ah, seriously!?" is still funny to me when Aoyama said he won't leave if One Piece were to include romance, despite Aoyama writing romance in Detective Conan, interesting reaction from Oda given how Aoyama literally said "I like love comedies" just earlier. As if to convince himself that Aoyama is writing the romance in his story to pander to his female audience instead of doing it because he likes doing it. Anyway I think I am digressing.

I think my theory may hold some water, but hey if you disagree, that’s totally fine. I’m not the best at articulating myself so the way I talked about some things here may just be seen as completely wrong, but hey, that’s okay! If you have something to add, you can do so. I know there will be people disagreeing with me, including even some LuNami fans, but again, I don't mind at all.

My verdict is this: Oda likes the idea of LuNami but due to his concern with his target audience, he won’t make any obvious advances that young boys would pick up on and as a result, tries to sneak in more obvious hints into supplementary/more obscure content like Movies, After three seconds, a sketch, etc. because people take those less seriously/not at face value like stuff that happens inside the manga's story, so only puts more subtle or non-cliché hints in his manga and the less subtle ones in secondary material. (I mean seriously dude, wearing Luffy's hat with a heart in your hand? A romance parallel in a movie? Blushing at the "love message" being heard? Come on, that so much more on the nose than anything in the entire manga)

I guess you can say there are layers to how far Oda is willing to go to show LuNami more explicitly lol. The more of a low profile he think he has from his boy readers, the more explicit it'll be. That is seriously a trend I have been noticing from him.

Honestly, with all this being said and done, I think the only way he will feel totally at ease with including explicit LuNami romance is if he is convinced that his boy audience doesn't mind romance at all and wouldn't leave in salt, bitterness and passive aggression.

I think One Piece will continue to be written like this without on the nose romance. The best we can hope for is a sudden LuNami ending once the story is over, because 1. By then he stops writing One Piece and doesn't need to be walking on eggshells to please his audience and 2. Romance not being written doesn't necessarily mean characters won't end up together as BF/GF, husband/wife. Portraying romance is simply showing us the way that lead to the BF/GF husband/wife relationship in the first place.

Keep in mind that the whole interpretation I have about Oda's portrayal romance and LuNami could be entirely wrong!

To talk about the "Boys don't like romance" thing, I'm a man, and look, I wrote all of this stupid shit. To me it's funny that he still is under the wrong impression that all, or at least most, boys don't like romance. I am not a shipper of everything in fiction myself, LuNami is one of the few ships I even care about. If your audience grows attached enough to a series they would get attached to the characters too, this attachment can lead to a desire of wanting to see these characters be more, that is how I started to love LuNami. I think a decent amount of male One Piece fans feel the same way, for guys like me liking a ship usually takes a slow burn, whereas, usually from what I observe, women ship things much quicker than guys. I also feel less willing at expressing my love for a ship, a big part of it being that many guys just "support" a ship instead of going balls to the wall insane for a ship with a million essays about how great the ship is, on top of that they almost always support the ships I think are lame where it's stupid one-sided love for 95% of the story (For example, men in the English-speaking community support LuHan so much more than LuNami on average it's not even funny) For a long time, many years, I was sitting in the back, keeping my interest in LuNami to myself. And what better way to "come out the shipping closet" I guess you can say, than to make... whatever the hell I wrote here? I don't know man at this point I'm so drained I'm starting to doubt that anything I even said here made any sense, I just flung all the things stored in brain at this post so it may be all over the place but whatever!

Hope you loved reading this regardless! See ya!

[lover-of-mine]

Welcome to Anna writes another color meta because she's losing her mind.

I made half this point before, but season 7 has more evidence, so I'm gonna make it again, just stay with me. Buck wears a lot of red, right? Staple color for him.

And, well, the coma dream has many elements that make it uncomfortable even if we don't fully realize it, one of them is the way that Buck is wearing green.

(something else is the way he's wearing black vans when he usually wears white hightops, but that's not important right now, but 911 costume department, I worship you)

Why is the green part relevant? Well, red and green are complementary colors, that means they are on opposite sides of the color wheel, and the whole thing with complementary colors is to create contrast. So, since he's usually on this part of the color wheel, the green stands out, even if we don't fully register why.

But the thing is, they put Buck in green when something is wrong. The coma dream, yeah, but the talk with Ali that leads to the breakup, the whole thing with taking Red to see Cindy that completely backfires, and subsequently the conversation with Maddie about being the one who gets left behind, telling Taylor he cheated, talking to Eddie about how he's avoiding Taylor after the Jonah thing, breaking up with Taylor, the cemetery scene, the gym scene in 705.

Those are all scenes where something is wrong, Ali doesn't understand who he is, the whole thing with Red is Buck deciding to do the wrong thing over his idea of what Red needs, the Taylor arc is very self-explanatory, the cemetery feels like he's trying to convince himself of what he's saying a lot more than it sounds like that's something he actually believes, the gym scene he's stressed because he lied to Eddie, it's all at least Buck doing misguided stuff. I feel like at this point, it is very clear that they put Buck in green for this purpose. If Buck is in green, something is most likely wrong.

So, Buck has a something is wrong color. During season 7, I offered the possibility of the show using maroon with Eddie for a similar purpose. But where Buck is about doing misguided stuff most of the time, Eddie is about lying. In a sense.

Eddie's color palette is very earthy. I don't wanna say green is as much of a staple color for him as red is for Buck, but he is usually in army colors, he does wear his fair share of green, greyish-green stuff, it's enough to make sense to some degree if they use maroon to say something is wrong in a direct parallel of what they do with Buck, just going the other way.

But why the maroon during season 7? He's wearing maroon while daydreaming about an idealized Shannon and during the date with Kim. Both situations involve lying to himself, Buck, or whatever. There's also the maroon when Chris leaves. He's not lying, but to say he's pretending to be okay with the situation because it is what Chris wants is not that much of a stretch.

But, I just noticed this dude is wearing maroon when Lena takes him to the first fight, which triggers something dangerous for him. So now we're talking. We have bad shit happening to him and bad shit being triggered by him while he's in maroon.

It opens up a lot in the possibility of them using red in this way for him in other scenes he's wearing reddish stuff. First date with Ana, the nondate with Vanessa, the 612 talk, and I'm gonna throw in the Carla thing too because I need another screenshot lol

Granted, as long as the show doesn't come right out and say Eddie is gay or Eddie was lying about remembering the shooting, these are just speculation and wishful thinking for the most part, but Eddie is peer pressured into the relationship with Ana and ends up admitting he liked the idea of them more than he liked her, so lying to himself, and the Vanessa one, he just plain doesn't want to be there and is agreeing to lie to Pepa so, it's a stretch but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the Carla thing, Eddie is at least hiding the Shannon of it all and he was lied to to get there, and while Buck does offer him the answer to a problem that scene, it is a problem he was struggling a lot with and pretending he had it under control. And I will live in a land where Eddie has been aware of his feelings since the shooting and it is lying to Buck about not remembering until the show explicitly proves me wrong, so in my head he is lying to Buck in 612. I'm not nearly as confident on this one as I am with the green and Buck when it comes to the whole show, but at least during s7, they did use it like that, and considering the way he was mostly in black or white during s7, the maroon has to mean something.

Now that we got that out of the way. Why am I telling you all this? It is not just because I think this is yet another way the show makes Buck and Eddie exist as mirrors of each other. It is because of the bachelor party.

Because Buck is in mint green and Eddie is in baby pink.

Buck is absolutely being misguided about what Chim actually wants during this, but I have no idea what Eddie would be lying about though. The interesting thing is that Buck loses the green and Eddie has the darker pink quite literally ripped out of him. Which is an interesting choice all things considered. And they get back to it once we find out Chim is missing.

This is pure speculation that even made me write a fic (self-promo if you feel like reading a confrontation about them almost kissing at the party), but the thing is, everyone involved in this damn show talked too much about this bachelor party for it to be a minute long montage with no lasting consequences and me to feel satisfied with it (rip karaoke scene you will always be wanted). Especially considering with the way we know the episode was actually 2 episodes long and they had to trim everything down (the fact that they tried to shove 18 episodes worth of plot into 10 is gonna make me mad forever, it was a reduced season, make a reduced season) and the ideal world madney's wedding would've been the 2 episode event it deserved to be and we would've gotten more. Do I think the show wanted something to actually happen between them, like a full-blown kiss? No. Do I think a "we are drunk and getting too close" situation was completely plausible? Yes. I mean, Buck was practically pulling Eddie to his lap. And it's not like this is something that can't come back to if they feel like it. Sudden triggers making them remember shit is a perfectly acceptable way to add some tension, push some realizations.

I don't know why, but Buck wearing green there will forever bother me. And with the added layer of Eddie and the maroon, I feel like there has to have a point for that particular costume besides making me want to make The Fairly OddParents jokes.

If we wanna go full conspiracy theory, considering the way the early renewal changed the way they dealt with 7b, I wouldn't be surprised if that party was going to trigger something and they decided against it. We'll never know unless they come back to it, but, nice to think about.

As always, if you read this, I love you.

Other color metas if you like my brand of crazy: blue and green masterpost, red and blue post, blue and yellow theory part one and part two.

[cheeseandbretboy]

JOKER (2019) AND JOKER: FOLIE A DEUX (2024) SPOILERS !!!

still trying to sift through my thoughts but i liked joker 2. i dont get how the ratings are so bad?? were people expecting a romance???? a fun movie? i mean even i was surprised by the depressing end but im really glad it happened because thats what joker 2019 was about too. arthur was never the actual 'joker' we see in dc films, and we knew that. his whole story is tragic but a lot of people missed that in the first movie. the second speaks on that to humanise arthur (even though thats what they literally tried to do in the first one?? didnt work i guess) and shame those who use him as a symbol for misogyny and incel stuff. i think what most people are mad about is how hes not as 'villainy' as the other jokers BUT AGAIN he was never the true joker and im confused as to how people missed that !! personally i loved how it shows that even after he's secured himself the identity of joker he's still repeatedly exploited as he was before that, and he has to come to terms with it. harleys character was really surprising for me because usually she's the one being manipulated by joker- in this case it was the other way around. especially interesting was how joker was the one who sung 'bewitched' about harley (the original song is sung about a man, so they had to change he/him to she/her) and the scene of joker and harley's show where she continues singing 'to love somebody' without looking at him, instead basking in the attention the audience gives her. people were expecting a twisted sexy romance between them but instead we were given something really uncomfortable and unnerving- like that sex scene. her character also gives insight into parasocial relationships and how weird and dangerous they can get. she never really knew arthur- she knew joker. the film starts with us finally happy that he 'for once in his life, has someone who needs him' and ends with us absolutely distraught. in the first movie, he says stuff like 'you dont listen' and 'i never knew i existed' and STILL after becoming an infamous killer, getting a show about him, EVERYONE talking about him, he's still not seen. there are just so many things the film points out about its fanbase (incels, parasocial relationships, identity, the glamourisation/sexualisation of violence, columbiners, exploitation etc etc) and i guess people don't like that. they want capitalism=bad, 'men have it so bad', and mm gore! which is fair- i loved it too- but it doesnt hurt to delve into the identity of 'joker' (whatever that is) and how that influences its viewers. its quite meta i like it a lot. they didnt care that the ratings would be awful because they had to speak on what the first movie did to people

oh also the intertextuality is just amazing. the songs are great, like i mentioned before with changing the female and male roles with 'bewitched', and even though i absolutely hate musicals this really worked fo rme. i think it's because musicals often have songs smack bam in the middle of realistic scenes and the singing just ruins it for me- but in joker 2 they're more often a part of arthur's fantasies so it was actually better. i wasnt sure about the musical element at first but after rewatching joker for like the 1000th time i realised how much its intertwined in the first movie- we just never really paid attention to it. the end of 'gonna build a mountain' was amazing (you have to pay attention to the lyrics), 'the joker' was great, and the few instances of violence we see from arthur while hes singing is really entertaining i love it sm. i keep mentioning 'betwitched' but i love it. 'she is cold, i agree, she can laugh, and i love it' ahh. i loved the intertextuality with nolan's the dark knight. a lot of people hate it, but i think people should be more flexible with inspiration and interweaving similar but different stories into films. just because it follows a similar story doesnt mean that it should either perfectly fit the mould of nolan's batman, but neither does it mean they should abandon it altogether either. harvey dent really surprised me, and even though he was a pretty minor character i loved the few references to nolan's batman they give (like his gory face after the explosion at court being a possible villain origin story). most obvious is the end though, where arthur is gutted by that inmate who admires him. the use of the joke was amazing and i was really surprised by how he got stabbed. you can see in this moment that arthur has been relieved of his identity of 'joker' and can finally rest as himself, just a mentally ill guy with a history of tragic abuse. when lee and his fans betray him (the real life ones too hilariously) we realise no one truly saw or loved him, and he couldn't deal with that. so, the identity of joker was passed on to that inmate- "ah, what a fine young son to take my place"- while he cuts a glasgow smile into his face. in felt this was sort of missing from joker 2019, so im really glad they used ledger's joker as inspiration for this inmate.

there's a lot more to talk about, ESPECIALLY gary's reappearance which im so so glad about, it really fleshed out his character. when he walked up to the stand, you can see people whispering and laughing at him- arthur never made fun of him. it really helps to make people question what constitutes a bad person. sure, these people didn't kill 6 people, but how easy would it be for them just not to laugh? it showed arthur's empathy, and how uncomfortable he was with admitting to it when trying to paint himself as the joker. "you were the only one who was nice to me" was said by arthur in the first movie when he kills randal and gary says something similar to him during court.

anyways wow that was great people are mad the 2nd movie is as depressing as the first (if not more). at the end ofthe first, arthur has a whole revolution loving him, and we did the same. at the end of the second we realise we never truly knew him, but exploited his character.

[the-offside-rule]

Steven Grant (Moonknight) - All She's Ever Wanted

Requested: yes

Prompt: Y/n and Steven watch Bridget Jones

Warnings: not a lof

It was a quiet Friday night, the kind Y/n liked best. Curled up on the couch with a blanket, a bowl of popcorn, and her favorite film; Bridget Jones’s Diary. She had seen it countless times, but it never failed to make her laugh, cry, and swoon all in one sitting. Steven Grant, her sweet, bookish boyfriend, was busying himself with some ancient Egyptian texts, still as wide-eyed as he was when she first met him at the museum gift shop. “Why don’t you come watch with me?” Y/n called out to him softly, her voice pulling him from his focus. “It’s late, and you’re always up anyway.”

Steven looked over at her, blinking with those kind brown eyes, already apologizing in their soft gaze for being distracted. He was the type of man who could get lost in history, in hieroglyphics, in his own thoughts. Sleep evaded him more often than not, but being awake with Y/n always seemed to soothe him, like the world made more sense when she was near.“Bridget Jones’s Diary?” He asked, stepping over to her. He sounded curious, a little hesitant. “I’ve heard of it, but, you know, not really my kind of thing.” Y/n patted the spot next to her. “Oh, c’mon. You’ll love it. Besides, it’s not like you were going to bed anytime soon, were you?” Steven chuckled softly, conceding. “Right, fair point.” He sat beside her, adjusting his cardigan as he settled in.

As the film began, Steven tried to hide his interest at first, pretending not to get too caught up in the story. But it didn’t take long before he was chuckling along, glancing at Y/n every time Bridget fumbled her way through yet another awkward moment. By the time Hugh Grant’s character, the charming yet smarmy Daniel Cleaver, made his entrance, Steven’s brow furrowed. “Hugh Grant.” Y/n sighed, a playful grin tugging at her lips. “He was so handsome when he was younger, wasn’t he?” Steven stiffened slightly, shifting in his seat. “Was he, now?” Y/n didn’t notice the way his shoulders tensed or the way his expression faltered. “Yeah, you know, that whole charming, bad-boy thing? I mean, I wouldn’t date him now, but back then? Well, you know what I mean.”

Steven swallowed hard, his mind racing. He wasn’t like Hugh Grant’s Daniel Cleaver at all. He wasn’t the slick, suave type who could make women swoon with a wink. He was awkward, often fumbling his words or getting overly excited about ancient civilizations. He worked in a museum gift shop, for crying out loud, hardly the stuff of romantic heroics. But Y/n noticed the shift, her hand reaching for his. “Oh, don’t be like that.” She said with a laugh, squeezing his fingers gently. “It’s just Hugh Grant. You’re nothing like him, but that’s a good thing.” Steven managed a small, nervous smile. “Right, nothing like him.”

As the film progressed, Steven became quieter, though Y/n didn’t press. It wasn’t until the final scenes, Mark Darcy’s dramatic, unexpected kiss with Bridget that she noticed Steven’s gaze had softened, a mix of awe and uncertainty playing across his features.

Wait a minute...nice boys don't kiss like that

Oh yes they fucking do

She nudged him, grinning. “See? Nice boys can kiss the way Bridget likes.” Steven looked at her, shoulders slightly drooped, and his voice was low, almost a whisper. “You really think that, love? That, you know- a nice bloke like me- like Mark Darcy- could ever catch someone like you or Bridget in a world of Daniel Cleavers?” Y/n’s smile faded for a moment, replaced by something more tender. She turned to face him fully, her hand reaching to cup his cheek. “Steven-” She said softly, her thumb brushing his skin. “Mark Darcy was all I ever wanted in a boyfriend.” His brow furrowed. “Really? Him?”

She nodded, her voice earnest. “Yeah. Someone sweet, loyal, who doesn’t play games. Someone who’s good, through and through.” She let her words hang in the air, her eyes meeting his. “That’s you, Steven. And I’m happy to have my own little Mark Darcy, even if he works in a museum gift shop.” A laugh escaped him then, a sound of pure relief mixed with disbelief. “I- are you sure about that?”

“Absolutely.” Y/n leaned in, her lips brushing his softly, like the way Mark kissed Bridget, slow and full of emotion. When they pulled back, she gave him that same playful grin, the one that always seemed to put him at ease. “Now, stop worrying. You’re all I need.” Steven’s shoulders, still tense from earlier, finally relaxed. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, letting his worry fall away, grateful for the woman in his arms who saw him for exactly who he was; her very own Mark Darcy.

[aeithalian]

Rick. Buddy. Amigo. Explain something to me. Real quick, I promise.

[The Trials of Apollo: The Tower of Nero, Chapter 4]

Good genetic package, Rick/Apollo? Are you sure about that?

Listen.

Estelle's physical description *clap* makes *clap* no *clap* sense. Why on earth does one of the only fully human characters in this series have to have unique and weird physical traits? Also, it makes no sense in the larger scope of Rick's writing style to have chosen this unless he had some sort of larger intention behind it. Not to mention the theories by fans haven't really done much to fully flesh out any perceivable reason as to why this might be:

Poseidon blessed Sally when she was pregnant - By far, this is the most believable to me, but it's still eh, because this feels very weird and I don't get the vibes from Poseidon that he would have done so to the extent that it shows up in Estelle's physical traits. Also if that were true, it doesn't make sense for Rick to just fully drop it in the story without the intention to flesh it out further, because to my knowledge he doesn't have plans for another novel that takes place after ToA.

Paul isn't Estelle's father - Firstly, this is out of character for Sally, and this doesn't fully justify why Estelle has Percy's eyes. PLUS, salt-and-pepper hair still wouldn't be natural for a newborn

Paul is Poseidon in disguise - This explains her traits the best, but Paul's character is so much more satisfying if this isn't true. It's also total bullshit.

Enter me. I have a theory. Yay. But first, we must discuss.

Firstly, I want to talk about her eyes. Going back to the theories, and based on my fair amount of knowledge of genetics (clarification: I write this as I procrastinate studying for my final genetics exam), the eyes are mostly interesting because Apollo specifies that they are immediately similar Percy's. The thing about eye genetics, though, is that they are what we consider to be 'complex traits', meaning that they are influenced by the interactions of multiple genes from both parents. What I mean to point out here is that Sally could definitely have the genes to produce two children with 'sea-green' eyes, considering her canonical eye color is blue. We don't know what Paul's eye color is, which makes my job a whole lot easier because I can assume that it doesn't directly contradict the possibility that Sally just has really strong eye genes (?). ALSO, who's to say that Poseidon didn't just change his eye color to match Percy's when he was born? Ah, yes, the perks of having a shapeshifting dad who seemingly loves you and your eye color a lot (but is still absentee, WHOOPS).

But what I actually found the most interesting about Estelle was her hair color. More specifically, the fact that Apollo says he's never seen an infant with that color hair. And we know Apollo is somewhat of an unreliable narrator (although this rarely affects his descriptions of people other than himself, and has also mostly evolved into a more honest narration since the end of book 3), but I believe we're supposed to trust this dude who just so happens to have been alive for over four millennia. Based on Apollo's previous descriptions of his own powers (see his conversations with Percy in TTC, when he pulls a Mufasa and basically admits to seeing everything the light touches), we know that Apollo knows and has seen a lot of stuff. So, how is this the first time he's seemingly witnessed this type of hair mutation?

I did some research, as one does. To me, it seems as if Estelle has what's called Griscelli syndrome, which is a type of rare autosomal genetic mutation that typically results in phenotypic hypopigmentation of the skin and hair. (It can also result in neurological disorders and immunodeficiency, based on the type, but I digress.) It's also pretty rare, considering both parents have to be carriers, and even then the child still has a one in four chance of being affected. Current statistics from the NIH say that Griscelli syndrome currently presents in less than 1000 Americans, and is rapidly fatal in 1-4 years without aggressive treatment.

That sad note aside, it's weird to me that the way Rick wrote Estelle's physical description makes it seem as if Apollo had never seen anything similar. I feel like a god of both medicine and knowledge would probably be a bit more up to speed with rare genetic disorders, especially because he's so old. The only explanations are that Apollo, in his mortal state, can't make a diagnosis, OR what he's seeing isn't actually something he can diagnose.

FURTHERMORE, from the same chapter, Apollo says something that muddies the waters even further:

It doesn't make sense that Apollo thinks that Zeus would take such an interest in Estelle. Her nature alone doesn't make me think that the king of the gods would take a sudden interest in a literal newborn, regardless of how much Apollo loves her (and honestly, I don't blame him).

What I think? Rick pulled the strings just tight enough that he has a very interesting plot point to go off of if he ever decides to pick up the pen again and write a new book.

What I think? Estelle doesn't have Griscelli syndrome, she is in much more danger than anyone realizes, and Apollo's subconscious put this together from the second he saw her.

Actually, let's rewind. I'm in the process of writing a fic (stay tuned!) and I had a random thought: do the Greeks have an apocalypse story? You know, like Ragnarök in the Norse mythos, and the Revelation stories in the Bible.

The answer? They don't. I guess that's what you get when the Greco-Roman gods are fully immortal and literally can't be killed.

That didn't stop the rabbit hole, though, and what I found was actually very interesting and I couldn't believe what I was reading.

I give you: Hesiod. More specifically, his poem Works and Days. More more specifically, his 'ages of man'. More more more specifically, the iron age.

For context, Hesiod was an ancient Greek poet who lived in the 8th century BC, and was walking right along with Homer in terms of fame at the time. The poem Works and Days is actually more of a really long Facebook post where he complains about anything and everything, especially in his section on the ages of man.

In summary, Hesiod wrote about what he perceived to be the five stages of human life since the creation of mankind by Zeus' hand:

gold: perfect in every way, pious, and blessed by the gods

silver: real bitches, the ugly middle child, so Zeus killed them

bronze: were so violent they wiped each other out

heroic: golden child, contained the heroes of the Greek mythos

iron: middle-aged men still living in their mom's basement

Hesiod wrote his poem during what he perceived to be the Iron age (it's really just him complaining about being born in the wrong generation), but he ends up listing a lot of qualities: 'everyone works too hard, the gods hate us, nobody respects family values anymore', blah blah blah.

I know what you're thinking: Tia, what does this have to do with an apocalypse?

Well, dear reader, bear with me. You see, every time Zeus didn't like an age of mankind, or it became too violent, or it generally wasn't pious enough, Zeus wouldn't hesitate to destroy that race and start over. Basically, an apocalypse.

So, you may ask a new question: what is the criteria for Zeus to destroy the Iron age? And, assuming that this is the age we're currently in, what would it take for Zeus to destroy everything our beloved Riordanverse characters know and love?

My friend, that is where Estelle comes in. Yes, a baby.

Take this excerpt regarding the Iron age:

"And Zeus will destroy this race of mortal men also when they come to have grey hair on the temples at their birth."

I think you see where I'm going with this.

My theory? Estelle, in her unique position as a bridge between not just the mortals and the demigods (eg. her relationship with Percy), but also the mortals and the gods (eg. her great impression on Apollo), is a living, breathing prophecy. A prophecy that the end is nigh for this current age of mankind.

Furthermore, I also think that Apollo made this connection, somewhere in the back of his mind, the very second he realized that her hair was entirely unique. According to Hesiod (who Apollo also mentions later in the book, so we know he knows who Hesiod is), the day that babies are born with gray hair (or, salt-and-pepper for the sake of the theory) is the second Zeus basically get the go-ahead to commit genocide.

This also brilliantly explains why Apollo suddenly, and seemingly without reason, makes to keep Estelle's existence a secret from Zeus, because he knows that it might be the easiest way to get everyone he knows and loves killed by his own father for "the greater good" as I'm sure Zeus will put it. Plus, in his mortal state, Rick didn't have to explain why Apollo did what he did, since Apollo's been having memory issues since the beginning of the series: why would he remember one line from a poem written almost three thousand years ago?

Frankly, Zeus doesn't care about mortals: the only reason he really cares about anyone is if they have enough power to threaten his own, or if they have some sort of power he can benefit from. This, certainly, falls under the category of the latter. Wouldn't you want a chance to remake humanity into the perfect image that it used to be? You would, if you hadn't gone through a five book long grow-a-conscience speedrun like our lovely Apollo over here.

Fortunately for Rick, this is such an outrageous theory that if it never comes to fruition, I won't be surprised. If he ever writes something similar, though, know I called it first.

EDIT: here's the fic i mentioned i was (am) writing

EDIT: a masterlist of my other metas

[melswifeasf]

Safest in your arms pt 10

previous chapter || next chapter || series page

Pairing: Georgia Miller x fem!oc

Summary: fall fest was supposed to be a fun activity for Samantha but it turned into nothing but a huge disappointment.

Warnings: (18+) MDNI, cursing, age gap relationship (18 and 30) grooming.

HALLOWEEN WAS THE BEST time of the year which all six friends could account for. they could dress slutty, get drunk and go to parties the whole weekend. it wasn't until their sophomore year they ditched the whole 'binge scary movies and stuff their faces with candy' deal and started going out instead. they had wanted to go to a party that night but none of them had planned a costume and Ellen had said she preferred her daughter to just go out on Saturday instead. Samantha didn't push it, it wasn't like her to do so.

the group of friends were in Matthews like most weekends. they were all sitting on the couch except for Natalie and Oliver who were on the floor like they had been last time they were there the last they were there. it was almost midnight and she thought by now she would be with a certain blonde but her friends were very persistent on her staying and she couldn't say no. even then that didn't stop her from texting her.

🍑 : are you gonna be at the festival

tomorrow?

S: prob? depends on if my friends

are going

S: are you?

🍑: i have to since Paul is running for

mayor again, he needs everyone in

the office with him.

S: does this mean Georgia Miller is

going to dress up?

🍑: i have to do that?

S: ofc you do, ur in the Mayors office

you kind of don't have a choice

🍑: does that mean your dressing up?

S: for the festival? no lmao.

S: i prob will later though, i think we're

going to some party

🍑: will i be able to see your costume?

S: i'll send pics;)

🍑: i'll be looking forward to it

🍑: what will your costume be?

S: idk tbh, we're all dressing up together

but they can't decide on what it should

whilst she waited for a response from the blonde she put her phone face down in her lap and turned her head to look at her friends. she was laying her head on Jades lap, her hair was being played with softly. Nia had Samanthas legs on her lap and Matthew was sitting beside the brunette with a respectable space between them. it was understandable that they wanted to keep things between them under wraps, especially considering they were still taking things slow and Oliver was overly protective when it came to Nia and her love life. she only ever had one boyfriend during her Junior year but it only last six months because Oliver would always try and scoot himself in between them. it wasn't fair, Nia never did that with him and Nat.

"i think we should go as nuns" Matthew said and looked up from his phone. they all laughed.

"the day i see you in a nun outfit will probably be the day that i die." Jade said with a chuckle.

"you putting that on would be an insult to nuns and i'm not even religious like that," Natalie said.

Matthew rolled his eyes, "okay i get it, i like sex." he shrugged. Samantha wondered if he was actually offended or if he was just acting like that because he always did. a part of her would believe he was offended, especially since the girl he currently had a thing with was sitting right beside him and listening to everything. although that shouldn't matter, Nia knew who Matthew was since the day they met and it's not like all of that knowledge would disappear now that they were figuring things out.

"more like you get around." Jade mumbled with a small chuckle making the girl in her lap slap her arm softly in warning.

"what about the avengers?" she proposed, trying her best to differ the conversation from him and to something else. "there's six of them so the numbers check out" she continued.

Oliver scrunched his nose, "i don't think any of us want to be hulk"

"or hawkeye" Nia mumbled.

Samantha sighed, "okay. any other ideas?" they had been going at it for a while now and it was starting to annoy everyone in the room. it was just hard, none of them wanted to pick something basic but there weren't that many group costumes, especially with six.

"we could all just wear purge masks" Natalie shrugged making both Samantha and Nia grimace.

"ew that's like super 2019. that is the most boring shit ever" she said shaking her head. Natalie sighed.

"okay then i don't know"

the room fell silent once more as they thought about more ideas. Matthew was on his phone searching for ideas but he seemed to be coming up with the same things over and over.

"what about toy story" Nia said making the raven girl point at her in agreement.

"i can be barbie. she's hot" she said earning a small smile from Jade.

"true." she agreed.

"holy shit," Oliver muttered making them all look at him in confusion. "Matthew and i could be Kens and you girls could be barbie." he proposed with a huge smile. that didn't sound like a bad idea at all, she doubted anyone else would think of doing that. it just surprised her that Oliver was the one to think about that over everyone else. she'd expect that from Nia or maybe even Jade but Oliver? that was something she never saw coming.

"why are you actually kind of a genius" Nia said matching her brothers grin.

"i think i'm more of a raquel though," Jade said, her lips twisted to the side as she was looking at the space in front of her in thought.

"i totally see that" Natalie nodded then gasped as she looked down at her boyfriend in excitement. "we could be Ken and Barbie from the Toy Story movie." she said happily.

Oliver's grin grew wider, "you're a genius babe" he said and the blonde shrugged sheepishly before she leaned down to press a soft kiss on the boys lips.

"i'll be howdy Ken," Matthew said, his lip curling into a smirk.

"valid, valid." Samantha nodded, "i never thought i'd see you in a cowboy costume and honestly i love that for you"

Nia frowned, "but then what would i be? i don't want to be in some horrid 80's work out jumpsuits" she said sadly.

"you could match with me" Matthew offered, his smirk gone and replaced with a small smile that everyone else in the room messed but Nia couldn't.

"yeah, you guys would look great." Natalie said to try and encourage her friend. they really needed to come to a conclusion so they could get the costumes the next morning.

"that just leaves you," Jade said looking down at Samantha.

"i'll be og barbie. you know, with the pink dress? god i'm gonna look so hot" she sighed out a bit dreamily causing them all to laugh.

"i sometimes forget how obsessed you are with yourself," Natalie chuckled.

"whatever, it's called self love." Samantha bit back and threw up her middle finger at everyone in the room.

they all started to talk about what they needed to buy which wasn't much since most of them already had clothes that could go with it. the only person who didn't was Natalie and Oliver because he needed a hawaiian shirt. Samantha figured her dad would have one though she offered to try and look for one for him. Samantha would just wear a pink dress that she already had and wear glittery eyeshadow along with pink heels to really seal the deal.

Samantha didn't feel her phone vibrate any more meaning Georgia hadn't texted her back. she tried not to overthink it, the blonde was probably asleep by now. it's not that she needed to talk to Georgia every minute of the day but the blonde had been a bit distant since the morning and she wondered if she did something wrong. the day that they hooked up Samantha and her stayed up another hour before the blonde grew tired and fell asleep, as soon as she did Samantha snuck out through the balcony. it was thankfully still slightly dark outside, the sun had just began to rise so it wasn't completely light outside. things were fine even the morning after, their dynamic didn't change but she was starting to wonder if the blonde had just now started to regret it, the reality of it all finally sinking in. the thought alone made her stomach hurt.

now that she knew what being with Georgia was like, life before her seemed so boring. nothing compared to the night they shared, the chemistry, the passion and overall it was just so fucking hot and every time she thought about it a light shade of pink would cross her features. her overthinking was cut short by Jade who locked her phone and threw it on the empty spot beside her.

"guess what i heard," she said a small smirk playing at her lips. everyone stopped to look at the girl, each of them just as confused, including Samantha who was looking at her with furrowed brows.

"what?" Oliver chuckled.

Jade looked down at Samantha, "Sophie Sanchez and your sister are talking." she said, her smirk never leaving.

"holy shit, are you for real?" Matthew laughed in slight amazement. Samantha didn't say anything as she waited for Jade to respond to him. there was no way Max was talking to someone - specifically someone she knew and wouldn't tell her. the thought alone hurt her feelings more than she thought it would.

Jade nodded, "yeah. i heard it from Kate. i think she even invited her to some party Brodie's throwing." she laughed and anyone who had common sense knew she was making fun of Max.

the raven haired girl didn't even care to comment on that. all she could think about was the fact that her sister was talking to someone and she didn't bother to loop her in. maybe she was a hypocrite considering she didn't tell the girl about her ex girlfriend but that was different, she couldn't tell Maxine because she knew it would ruin a lot of friendships and she didn't think it was fair for that to happen when all she wanted to do was to be happy. Maxine didn't have that problem, it's not like Samantha would get mad if she talked to Sophie. she just wished she was important enough in Maxs life to have been in the circle. maybe she was a shittier sister than she thought she was.

the girls mood had drastically changed and the only person who seemed to notice was Nia who began to rake her fingers through the girls hair. "you okay?" she asked softly, her eyebrows furrowed in worry.

Samantha shook her head as she tried to form a smile, "yeah." she whispered.

both of them knew she was lying.

the next day the group of friends all rode together to the festival. they had all gotten everything they needed for their costume and there was a while until they needed to get ready so they decided why not go. Natalie Oliver were still parking the car seeing as there wasn't any empty parking spaces so they dropped the four friends off before driving off to try and find a space. as soon as Nia and Jade saw that there was fresh apple cider they each broke away from Matthew and Samantha leaving them on their own. they were each waiting for the two girls near the face painting station where Samantha could clearly see her sister and her friends.

what she had heard yesterday was still fresh in her heart and seeing her sister only made it sting even more. she never thought she would be left in the shadows of her sisters life and yet here she was.

she wasn't the only one overthinking though. Matthew glanced at the shorter girl briefly, his heart was beating faster than usual which he had never felt before. why was he nervous? he only felt like this before games. he sighed, "can i ask you something?" he spoke up breaking Samanthas stare in her sisters direction and directing her sight toward him.

she had an idea of what he would be asking but nodded regardless, "what's up?"

"has Nia told you anything.. about us lately?" he asked a bit hesitantly, he paused to try and get the words out without seeming too n invested.

Samantha shook her head, "about what?" she asked feigning confusion. she didn't want to throw her friends under the bus like that, especially not with the literal guy she was crushing on.

Matthew looked at her with 'seriously' look on his face. "you're her best friend and she hasn't said anything? i don't believe you" he said and crossed his arms against his chest.

the raven girl rolled her eyes, "if you already knew the answer then why'd you ask."

Matthew shrugged, "i want you to be honest."

"she has."

"what did she say?" he quickly responded.

Samantha looked at him with raised brows, not at all used to seeing him this desperate. "just that you guys talked during Sophomore sleepover." she said honestly. they hadn't really spoken since and she assumed it was because they were taking things slow.

Matthew nodded, his face turning so he was looking in front of him and not directly at the shorter girl. "that's it?"

"did you want her to tell me something else?"

he shook his head. "i just.. i know she likes me and all but i don't know if she would want to actually go on a date with me." he said scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Samantha's expression softened, she now understood that it wasn't just one of his usual conquest, he actually care for Nia. "i think she'd say yes"

"really?" he asked his head snapped back toward the girl. she nodded with a gentle smile.

"yeah."

the boy couldn't contain his smile so he turned back around, "okay" he confirmed. neither of them could continue their conversation considering the sole topic of it was walking toward them with a cup in hand. she was laughing at something Jade had said and Samantha didn't miss the way the boys eyes shinned at the sight. she loved them together.

the brunette and Jade approached them, each holding a cup of cider. "want some?" Nia offered Samantha as she held her cup out but Samantha shook her head.

"im good. thanks though." she said earning a smile from the brunette as she went back to talking with Jade.

soon enough Oliver and Natalie were walking toward them hand in hand, once they were caught up with the group they walked around a bit to see what they could do. there were some activities which they participated in which really just means Oliver and Matthew would compete with one another. they spent half an hour carving a pumpkin which both looked equally as bad, none of them had the heart to tell them that though. that thankfully didn't last long since they all went toward the stage when they heard Paul begin to announce who had won the decoration competition. they all knew who the winner was even before so it was really pointless.

Samantha could see Georgia up on the stage, their eyes met for a second, each of them sharing a smile before the blonde turned to talk to her coworker. the six teens were in the crowd, half of them whispering to each other whilst Nia and Matthew were watching Samantha and the blonde exchange small glances.

"bootylicious really takes the whole costume thing seriously." Matthew said with a small smirk knowing the name he called her would annoy her.

he was right, the raven girl rolled her eyes at him. "shut up" she mumbled making both Nia and Matthew glance at one another in amusement. she looked so hopelessly in love and yet couldn't see that herself.

"best window decoration," Paul announced, a small card being pointed at him so he could read off of it. he was wearing a suit that was unbuttoned to reveal a super man costume, he was even wearing a black wig and glasses to complete the look. "goes to.. Liz Chavez" he finished earning an applause from the crowd. they watched as a trophy was brought up to Paul before her gave it away to the winner. "winner of best apple pie," Cynthia which isn't a surprise at all. "to the surprise of no one, goes to Cynthia Fuller." as they all expected. everyone began to clap once more but neither Samantha nor her friends did.

"bitch," Jade muttered under her breath making them all laugh.

"careful, the witch might hear." Matthew quickly whispered before turning back toward the front so they could watch the red head take a picture with the mayor. Samantha saw the small and cold interaction between her and Georgia when she grabbed the trophy from the blondes hand. that made a smile form on her lips, she loved that about Georgia. the camera snapped a quick picture and the redhead pulled away from the mayor and behind him on the stage.

"and now a very exciting announcement from the mayors office. we are going to be renovating the Wellsbury public library." cheers erupted from the crowd once more, even from the six teens who were glad they were finally going to do something different in the town.

not everyone had the same reaction though, Cynthia walked back up toward the front of the stage clearly upset with what she had just heard. "but the library is one of the most historic buildings." she said.

"exactly. this is why it deserves upkeep." Paul nodded. "we're gonna be adding a third floor. we are going—"

he was quickly interrupted by the red head who sounded even more upset, "upkeep? sounds like your plan is to depreciate a beloved landmark." she said in a condescending tone then reached over to snatch the mic causing it to make a slight squeaking sound making everyone cringe.

"fuck." Samantha muttered knowing whatever was going down wouldn't be good.

"what Wellsbury deserves is a mayor with a vested interest in preserving that standards in this town. i mean, first the drugs, now the library. where does it stop?" she said. cameras were snapping pictures repeatedly, each of them wanting the hot new story for the day.

"bitch needs to get laid," Nia joked earnings snickers from the group.

"someone get her a broom so she can fly away." Oliver added making his girlfriend shove him softly, not able to contain her amusement at his words.

"green gardens actually allowed us to have a surplus that far exceeds—"

"i saw Mayor Randolph last night on a date." she interrupted him, talking louder to drown his words out. murmurs erupted in the crowd causing her to nod, "yes. with his assistant" she confessed pointing at the blonde in accusation.

the crowd fell silent at her words just like Samantha felt her stomach drop, her before amused expression replaced with a blank expression. the three oblivious teens began to whisper their surprise whilst Nia and Matthew looked at their friend worriedly. they glanced at one another, each of them trying to have a silent conversation so try and figure out what to do.

Samantha's eyes locked with Georgia who looked nothing short of regretful but she quickly looked away, turning her attention to Paul making that horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach intensify. this was why she had been super distant they day before. she probably couldn't find the balls to tell her that she wanted to end things then. it shouldn't even matter, they aren't even together but that didn't take away the absolute pain she was feeling in her chest. was this what all of her one night stands felt when she didn't talk to them anymore? was this her karma?

she chuckled softly, her head shaking in disbelief. she felt stupid for ever thinking her and Georgia could be anything but a simple fuck.

"let's go." she said dryly, not even turning to look at her friends as she began to walk away from the crowd. not even Cynthia making a skeptical of herself could make her feel better and all she wanted was to get that horrible feeling out of her body and never have to talk to Georgia again. the pettiness of her words didn't matter to her, she didn't care that it had only been two months since they met, or that they only had sex once and that they never agreed to be exclusive. it was the fact that Georgia didn't tell her, the fact that she kept her in the dark and even texted her asking if she would be able to see her after she went to the halloween party because Ginny would be out til late. did she think she could just keep her little date a secret?

no, fuck her.

none of them questioned her as they walked to Oliver's car, at least not until they were actually in it. "why'd we leave? i wanted to get my face painted." Oliver said when he began to pull out of the parking space. his words earned him a slap in the back of his head from his sister who was sitting directly in the seat beside him.

"ouch, what the fuck?" he said his hand rubbing the impact to try and soothe the pain. Nia shot her brother a look through the rear view mirror which cause him to shut up a second later. Samantha wasn't paying attention to Jade and Natalie who looked extremely confused by the whole situation.

thankfully Matthew was the one who solved the problem which meant more to Samantha then she could ever really express. "Sam was having an attack." he lied. well, it wasn't a complete lie, she was having a sort of anxiety attack but it didn't have to do with the crowd around her.

"are you okay?" Jade asked quickly after, she turned her head to look at her friend with worried eyes.

Samantha nodded softly, "i'm good. i just didnt take my meds today." which also wasn't a lie. since she stayed the night at Matthews she didn't have her pills. she was planning on taking them before going to the party since she wasn't planning on drinking, the idea of driving to Georgias house drunk was incredibly irresponsible but that wasn't the case anymore and she was starting to regret it. in fact the only thing that could make her feel better at this point would be blacking out so she didn't have to think about her shitty love life. funny how she went from not having one just a month ago and now it was more complicated than ever.

[patroxlos]

home base . ch5

"friends who fuck things up" - 5.6k words

ultraman: rising (2024). kenji sato x reader

can be read as a stand-alone.

master post. ao3 link.

previous: ch4. "friends who sleep on call with each other"

next: ch6. "friends who are stuck together"

The start of your decade-long situationship.

---

Los Angeles. Ten years ago.

You let out a low whistle as you look out the window to the gorgeous beach view. Not bad for a guest room. The Satos own a stunning coastal property that, while a lot smaller than your own California manor, is homey enough for the mother and son duo. Yet, you always thought that it was too big for the both of them. Maybe that is why the two are making such a big fuss right now, as they finally have another chance to fill in the space with your timely visit.

Tense footsteps approach, and you turn towards the open door as a lanky Ken Sato gracelessly enters and barrels towards your luggage placed at the side of the wall. “ Why did you bring your stuff in here? I said you’re staying in my room!”

“Well Auntie told me—” You were cut off.

“Mom!” He shouts out to the house. “I told you! I have the pullout in my room for her.” He extends the handle of one of your carry-ons with one hand and reaches for one of your duffels with his other.

You hear Emiko Sato shout back from downstairs, faint from the distance. “Don’t you dare make that girl sleep on anything other than a proper bed.”

“Kenji, it's fine. I can hang out in your room but keep my stuff in here,” you reason with him. You try to take your bags out of his hands but he rebuffs you as he lumbers them out into the hallway, his room being nearest to yours and down the hall.

“But it’s been three years since we’ve had you over!” He insists.

Even if he is a mama’s boy, Ken is not immune to engaging in his fair amount of teen rebellion that got him into shouting matches with his equally hotheaded mother. You know exactly who he inherited most of his personality from. Rapid footsteps climb the stairs and your Auntie Emiko reaches the two of you in the hallway. “ Kenji Sato !”

You both wince at the full name. Still, Ken pushes open his bedroom door as you attempt to trail behind. “Mom, she doesn’t even mind. Right, dude?”

“I…guess?” You do not want to get in the middle of this. You are so, so jetlagged you want to take a shower and crash on any bed available.

Sensing your fatigue, Auntie Emiko pats both of your shoulders lovingly from behind. She stops you from entering his room and leads you back out to the hallway. “So glad you’re back here, dear. You can go ahead and shower in the guest room. I will take your things back once I’m done here.”

Before you can even say thank you, she enters Kenji’s room and closes the door behind them. You wince as you hear another argument start up.

“Mom, we used to share a room all the time! I don’t get why it’s such a problem now.”

“Kenji, the last time you two shared a room was when you were kids! Don’t you think she deserves her own space as a young lady?”

“Then I can sleep on the pullout and she can get the bed!”

“It’s still inappropriate for two teenagers to share—”

“Ugh you’re being so unfair! You’re acting like we’ll do something—”

You decide to walk away and take that shower.

Ever since Emiko and Ken Sato relocated to Los Angeles when you were just six years old, you have visited them almost every year with your parents. Your summer and winter vacations with them significantly help you and Ken maintain your easygoing friendship beyond messages and video calls. It feels good when the two of you are in the same timezone.

Unfortunately, you have not visited them since you were twelve years old. Three whole years without seeing each other has caused you and Ken to drift a little, with him getting sourer every summer break when you tell him you don’t think you could make it. Your parents got busier, and even if the Satos are family friends, it does not mean you wanted to spend every vacation at the States. Finally, you are old enough for your parents to trust you to fly alone, and at sixteen, you are picked up from the airport by your much taller childhood friend.

You absentmindedly think about how much has changed yet stayed the same about Ken as you rifle through your remaining belongings in your guest room, looking for your toiletries and pajamas to change into.

His height definitely took you by surprise. He was shorter than you the last time you saw him, by a half inch. Now, you have to look up when you talk to him, which you know for a fact that he has noticed, based on his smug look at the airport. He is definitely a lot more cocky than you remember, given his status as a baseball prodigy. You wonder whether he stopped getting bullied at school, and if his newfound confidence emerged from it. While he never gave details in his correspondence over the years, you just know that he “has it handled.”

Even if you never lost touch the past couple of years, it only hit you when you came face to face with him that he really has changed a lot. He is no longer as hyperactive as he was when he was younger. He is now more…aloof, with a bit of brooding. His ears are pierced to bear his new signature black studs. Hell, you may not have realized he was happy to have you here if not for his insistence for a sleepover.

It is disarming to shower in a place so familiar yet alien to you now. Maybe…visiting is a mistake.

It has been some time since the two of you had seen each other. What if you do not click anymore? Of course you have made new friends in his absence, and based on his life updates, so has he. He has even mentioned a girlfriend to you a few months ago, which you were a little surprised by. The title of best friend between the two of you feels decorative, with no real fondness behind it. You are scared that one way or another, it will be made apparent in this vacation that the two of you do not fit the way you did anymore.

As you finish your shower and leave the bathroom clad in your pajamas, you see Kenji grabbing some more of your bags from the floor of the guest room. You say “Dude, I really don’t want your ‘ma to get high blood pressure. I’m fine in this room.”

“She finally said it’s okay!” He grins at you, lifting up your bags with no difficulty. You have noticed he got a lot buffer at sixteen. His shirt, which he has definitely already outgrown, stretches out against his chest. Must be all the varsity training.

“Really? How did you manage that?” You dry your hair with a towel as you follow him to his room.

“She got tired of arguing and went to the farmer’s market.”

“...Well that would do it.”

You are sure his room is meant to be the master bedroom of the house, given how you marvel at its size when you get to properly enter. It is much like Auntie Emiko to give her son the best. He hurriedly brings your belongings into a walk-in closet, and when you enter his bathroom to drop your damp towel in the hamper you notice there are two sinks.

Still, it was very much a teenage boy’s room, based on his blue bedsheets stretching out over the king-sized bed and the gaming consoles under his flatscreen TV. You nearly trip over one of his baseball gloves as you marvel at a poster of Hideki Matsui on one wall, in his Giants jersey. You also spot a signed Matsui baseball card from his time with the Yankees, framed on a side table. 

“Whoops— gonna get that—” He rushes back into the room to grab his glove near your foot, dumping it into a random drawer. He is bouncing on his heels. ”...so yeah! This is the room. Welcome!”

“Is that where I’ll sleep?” You point towards the luxury gray sofa in the middle of the room facing the TV.

He walks up to your side to sling an arm around your shoulders; you’re annoyed at how easy it is for him to do that now with his added height. He does not mind that his shirt sleeve is growing damp from your hair. “Nah, I have to let you take the bed. Mom’s orders. We can share like old times though, since it’s big enough. Just don’t tell her.”

“You sure that’s okay? I mean, I know we’re friends but don’t you have a girl or something?”

He instantly sours, and drags you towards the bed with his arm still pressing firmly on your shoulders. “Broke up with me last week.”

“Oooh, bummer. What did you do?”

He smacks the back of your head. “Why’d you assume I did something?”

You shove him off good-naturedly, and sit down at the edge of the bed. “Well did she break up with you because of your stellar personality?” you dryly comment.

“Nah, I just played too much baseball.”

“Why’s that an issue?”

“Don’t really wanna talk about it,” he brushes you off as he walks over to his game consoles.

You frown at him while his back is turned. It’s so…typical of Ken Sato to avoid any conversations about his feelings. He never likes talking about himself beyond what is surface level, and even if you can admit that he has gone the farthest with you when it comes to digging deep into his psyche, he still hesitates a lot when he has to open up. Jesus, you remember how long it took for him to be honest with you about how he does not get along much with anyone in Los Angeles, even his own varsity teammates.

Plus, he has only mentioned his girlfriend–ex, now–a handful of times. Your curiosity was eating at you.

“Ha, no way, you’re actually upset that you got dumped,” you tease, growing a bit more comfortable around him as the minutes pass you by.

He rolls his eyes as he starts up the TV and grabs two of his controllers. He tosses one at you, which you smoothly catch. “Honestly, I wasn’t really upset with it.”

“But weren’t you with her for several months…?” You could not believe his blasé attitude about it.

“And what about that guy your friend tried to set you up with? The one with nice skin but bad breath?” He changes the subject as he approaches you.

You flush, straightening your back. “I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

He raises an eyebrow. Hypocrite.

“It’s different!” You weakly justify.

“Yeah yeah, now scoot—” Ken tries to push you towards the other side of the bed. “This is my spot.”

“Ugh, dude what are you doing?” You groan as you acquiesce. He plops down beside you as soon as you move out of the way, the TV screen displayed Mario Kart.

“Thought we are gonna play?” He opens up the selection screen.

You groan. “I just wanna nap, man. It was a 12-hour flight.”

“You can nap after three rounds,” he protests. He nudges at your wrists until you are holding the controller up properly. “Come on, I wanna hang out.”

“Kenji, I love you, but I might pass out in the middle of round one.” Your hands drop back on your lap. The tension of your back eases as you sink into his mattress, and you want nothing more than to get under his covers and sleep.

He flicks the side of your head to keep you awake, grumbling. “I am not wasting anytime while you’re here. It might take you a whole ten years next time to come back.”

“I said I was sorry,” you weakly reply. You shove your controller into his chest as you throw his blankets over yourself. You sink your face into his pillow for added measure. “Now please, I promise we can hang after I wake up. I just need this.”

Even if your voice is muffled by the pillow, he understood you clearly. He scoffs, and you feel him slide off the bed to leave you alone. Guilt begins to creep into your heart. You know how hard it is for him to make friends here. He is distant with everyone else except for you. Now his girlfriend dumped him and he probably just needed company—

You hear the click of the lights turning off, and the pull of the curtains over the windows. You feel the dip of the bed again, and you look up to see him getting under the covers himself.

“What are you doing?” You hesitantly ask.

“What’s it look like? I’m taking a nap too.”

“…it’s ten in the morning.”

He pushes your face back into the pillow. “Yea, and I had to get up at four to pick you up from the airport.”

You try to apologize, but you are muffled by the pillow. You slap at his arm so he will let your head go.

“Don’t apologize, dude,” he murmurs as he settles into the bed beside you, but still keeping a respectable distance. “S’okay, you need to rest. Sorry about being pushy about it.”

You let out a yawn, relaxing into the bed. “We can play when we wake up…no biggie.”

“It’s not just that…” He faces you, lying down on his side. His arm falls into the space between. He lets out a heavy breath.

You wait.

He does not say anything more.

“Kenji?”

He turns around. “…nothing. I... Good morning, I guess. Sleep well.”

You nearly click your tongue. What is it with boys and their repressed emotions?

Yet, perhaps you worry too much. Things aren’t as simple as they were when you were kids, but that is how it’s supposed to be.

“Kenji I swear to god you’re going to get us in trouble,” you hiss at him as he shoves his arm up the crane machine. You try to cover him with your body since he placed you on lookout duty.

“You said you wanted it,” he grunts back, as he even tilts the machine a little forward.

You hurriedly provide leverage against the glass with your shoulder so the entire thing won’t collapse on him. He has spent fifteen minutes trying to get you a Tuxedo Sam plushie, and as stubborn as he is, he refuses to back down. “Sunk-cost fallacy, man.”

“The hell is that?”

“Don’t you listen in class?”

His long arm strains higher. “Can’t see shit from here. You gotta tell me if I’m close.”

“To your left— yeah, a bit more,” you guide him as you glance into the machine.

“Is it— ah, fuck— did I get it?”

“That’s a Cinnamoroll.”

His fingers pinched at the poor stuffed toy’s ear. “That good enough for you?”

“I guess it’s fine?” The weight of the machine is causing your shoulder to ache. “Dude just grab it and let’s go.”

“No, I’ll get that damn penguin.” God he’s stubborn as shit. His hand strains some more, and you see his fingertips brush against Tuxedo Sam’s hat.

“You’re actually gonna get it,” you marvel.

“I got you, girl.” He throws you a smirk despite nearly straining his rotator cuff.

The machine tilts a bit more, his palm fully closing over the stuffed toy’s face.

“Hey, what are you doing over there?!”

You make eye contact with the underpaid arcade employee stalking towards you.

“Kenji—“

“Oh shit—“

You push the machine back in place as Kenji yanks at the toy as fast as he could with a loud rip. You both bolt out of the exit, the neon lights bathe your skin no more as you run out to the sunset-soaked Santa Monica Pier.

Your howls of glee are drowned by the roar of the pier’s crowd. You smell the sea and fry grease in the air. Ken grabs your wrist and tugs you as he runs towards the parking lot.

You both are reduced to giggles by the time you reach his jeep. Your knees start to buckle as you throw your back against the passenger door, heaving from your long sprint. He is also a wreck, resting his arm against the passenger door as well as he stood beside you.

“Here, for you,” he says breathlessly as he holds up your prize, the Tuxedo Sam.

Or. Part of him.

“What the— Kenji!” You wheeze, doubling over from laughter. Your eyes sting from the tears that are forming.

That stuffed toy is full-on decapitated.

“Gah, damn. Must’ve gotten caught on the claw machine door.” Ken’s brows furrow as he looks at the penguin head he had gripped tightly in his hand.

An apology is on the tip of his tongue until he sees your hunched, shaking form. He barks out his own laughter, one hand circling your waist to stabilize you against his chest.

“Okay okay that’s enough,” he gives you his signature lop-sided smile as you shake against him. “Maybe I am not the best claw machine guy around.”

Your stomach hurts as you gasp for air. Your hand claws at his shirt as you continue to cackle. “Y-you think?!”

He presses the decapitated Tuxedo Sam head against your face to shut you up.

You two still get along just fine.

At that point, it has been a few days since you arrived in LA. You both have spent your time exploring the city while the sun is up, and goofing off in his room when night has fallen.

However, most of your schedule has to work around his baseball summer training. In fact, you could only hit up the pier after his training ended earlier at three in the afternoon. His equipment sticks out from the back as you sit in the passenger seat of his jeep.

“Keep an eye out for any patrol cars,” he tells you as he pulls out the parking lot to begin the drive home.

“Why? I don’t think they’re investigating penguin homicide.” You hug the decapitated Sam.

“Ha ha. My license is only provisional.” 

“Just drive like normal and you won’t get caught,” you nonchalantly say. “If you speed up when we see the police they would definitely pull us over.”

He reaches over the console to pinch your arm. “Don’t jinx it.”

You swat him away, then recline your seat. You stretch your legs out with a sigh. “Ugh, the day still feels too young.”

“Hm, we can have a little night time swim?” He suggests.

“Will your mom let us head to the beach again?” You think you both have messed around at the beach a total of three times already given that it is just at his backyard.

“Not at this hour, no. But you still haven’t tried the pool right?” While the Sato residence is a beachfront, they still have a gorgeous heated pool by the coast. You begin to envy his sun-kissed life.

The sky is already dark when you arrive back home ( home? Maybe it is). You begin making preparations for your nightly swim, donning on your bathing suit and grabbing your towel to head out to the back porch. Ken still hasn’t gone down, and you figure you can go ahead and make some poolside snacks for the two of you while you wait.

You pad barefoot into the kitchen with your sheer white swim cover up hanging off your shoulders. As you rummage through the fridge, the front door opens. A click of heels echo through the house.

“Oh, Navy!” You hear Mrs. Sato call out behind you. “What are you doing here? It’s been some time since you’ve come over— ah!”

She stops herself quickly when you turn around.

“So sorry about that sweetheart. You just look so much like—” She pauses.

“Oh, welcome back Auntie Emiko!” You greet her warmly as you set down the cans of soda you have grabbed onto the counter. She is still in her office attire, having come from her work at a kaiju research center in the city. Even if they are far from the shores of Tokyo, the whole world maintains great interest in those creatures.

Her words finally process in your head. “Sorry, who?”

She hesitates as she approaches the opposite side of the counter. “You know, Kenji’s old girlfriend.”

Ah. You blink. “Oh yeah, her name is…Navy? Right, yeah he mentioned her.” 

“You just look like her from behind. Maybe it’s the current fashion,” she sheepishly explains.

You don’t know why but it peeves you to think that another girl was waltzing around with her swimsuit on in Ken’s kitchen.

“Sorry, Kenji doesn’t like it when I talk about her,” Auntie Emiko explains. She reaches for one of your cans. “May I?”

“Oh sure,” you allow as you slide it to her. You open one of your own as you both comfortably sit at the bar stools across from one another. You take a sip for your nerves. Normally, talking with your auntie is so easy but for some reason a ball is lodged in your throat. “It’s…hard to get him to open up about his feelings.”

“That’s why I’m glad you’re here,” she confesses.

You take another sip, silent.

“You know, she actually was a lot like you. I don’t necessarily miss having her around per se, but it just felt like you were here with us once more.”

“Oh! Well Ken never really talked about her so I wouldn’t know.” You trace your fingertip around the can’s edge.

She laughs at a memory. “You know, when you told us last year that you cannot visit, Kenji moped around the house for weeks. We fought a lot during that time—“

“I’m really sorry…”

“No need to explain yourself to me. I knew he was just dealing with a lot back then. Anyway, one day he just seemed to have perked up again. That’s when he told me he met Navy. She was a bright girl like you are, very similar. It’s too bad Kenji wasn’t ready to fully commit to her. He has a baseball for a brain.” She knocks at her temple for emphasis.

You lean in, your nosiness coming in. “Do you know why she broke up with him? He never really explained it to me.”

She drinks some soda before she laughs again. “He always chose baseball over her, dear. That boy would rather spend his day at the field than whatever she wanted to do.”

“Is that really it?” You ask in wonder.

She shrugs. “Who knows if they fought about something else. The baseball summer training he’s doing now was the last straw, especially when…” She shuts up suddenly.

“When what?” You egg her on.

“Don’t tell him that I told you,” Auntie Emiko suddenly whispers. You nod. “But apparently, she couldn’t take it that he spent the entire day at training. Even I thought it was excessive that he’s doing a lot this summer.”

Your nose scrunches in confusion. “His training ends in the early afternoon. He could have made time if he wanted to.”

“Well he definitely has with you.” Her eyes twinkle knowingly as she takes a long sip from her can.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You’re at a loss. 

She hums. “Ever since you’ve been back, Kenji has been coming home from training after it ends.”

“…As he is should???”

“He normally comes home around nine in the evening because he stays overtime in the batting cage with the pitching machine.”

Oh. Well how are you supposed to know that?

Before you can reply, Ken enters the kitchen with a towel on his shoulders and his swim trunks hanging low on his hips. You train your eyes up to his face with much practice. It was much harder the first time you went swimming together earlier this vacation, when you had realized just how broad his shoulders have gotten. Must have been from all those hours in the batting cage.

“Hey mom,” he leans forward to give Auntie Emiko a peck on her cheek in greeting. He turns to you. “Ready to hit the pool, dude?”

You nod, finishing the last gulp of your soda quickly before throwing the can in the trash. “Yeah, sure.”

Auntie Emiko waves you two off as she slides down her barstool. “Have fun. I might turn in early for tonight.”

“Rest well mom,” Ken calls out to her as she leaves the kitchen.

Your conversation with your auntie goes to the back of your mind as soon as you jump into the warm chlorinated water. Heated pools are a godly gift for a cool night. 

Thrumming with the excess adrenaline from earlier today, you and Ken can singlehandedly reduce the pool’s water levels by a few good inches with the way you two splash around each other. From challenging each other to do the biggest cannonball, to grabbing each other’s ankles underwater, you are turning your relaxing evening soak into a full workout.

Your game of Marco Polo is the most tiring yet. He swims like a shark in top form. You could barely let out a squeal before he pounces on you from below. You nearly hit your head on the side of the pool when he grabs you with ferocity and holds you tightly against his cold, clammy body. His forearm presses against your bare tummy as your legs tangle underwater when he catches you, keeping you both afloat.

“Got ya.” His ego leaks out as his breath hits your ear.

A strong smack from you causes Ken to wince and let go. “You’re just cocky ‘cause your feet reaches the pool floor!” You swim a foot away from him.

“Maybe I’m cocky because I won the last five rounds.”

“Okay, I can acknowledge that you swim a lot better than me,” you bow your head a little to his direction. “So it makes me think that, maybe, you can better utilize your skills in our next game.”

“For the last time, I’m not playing mermaids.” He strikes the water to send a small wave towards your open mouth.

You sputter as you try to splash him back. “But you can have the shiny red tail and I can have a shimmery blue tail to match!”

“ What are you even talking about right now?”

“Don’t you have any imagination?”

“Well, I can imagine that I have two legs and can breathe air.”

“Well, my best friends back at Tokyo played mermaids with me.” It is a childishly low blow, but it is a joke all the same.

He does not seem to think so, as he gives a harsh splash to your face, harder than before.

“Hey, I’m kidding! Honest, we don’t have to—” you nearly drank in the pool water again as another splash came your way. “Promise we don’t have to play!”

You swim over to him as he pushes himself up to sit at the ledge close to the pool ladder. You cross your arms on top of the ledge, beside his legs as you look up at him.

“Kenji, promise. It’s not a big deal.”

He shakes his head over yours so that the droplets in his hair rain down on you. “I don’t know. Maybe you should get on the next plane to play mermaids with your much better friends,” he sneers at you childishly.

Unrelenting, you push yourself to float up between his legs, hands on his knees as you coax him back into the water. “I didn’t mean it, bro. Please come back in?”

“...You won’t even let my mermaid have the ability to talk to all the fishes.” He leans back on his arms as he looks down at you.

“Because that’s my mermaid’s special power.” You swim closer, your ears nearly grazing his skin as your hands slide down to loosely hold his shins.

You nearly miss the hitch of his breath. “Why can’t both of our mermaids talk to fish? It makes more sense that way.”

“Ugh, if you keep insisting then let’s play something else,” you complain.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t expect mermaids to get so political,” he lazily keeps his eyes on you as your head bobs around while you float in the water. “It’s getting pretty late. Let’s call it a night.” 

“Ugh, please… don’t wanna sleep just yet.” You rest your cheek against his inner thigh, pleading with your eyes as you stuck out your bottom lip. You are met with the heel of his hand striking your forehead. “ Ow !”

“What are you doing ?” He hisses, and you wonder if you are mishearing the flustered tone that makes his voice go higher.

“I’m still not tired yet!” Your head is still pushed back.

He presses the heel of his hand firmer against your forehead. “Well I am.”

“I thought you were an athlete.” You grab his wrist to mitigate the pressure. “Your mom told me you spend hours in the batting cage before going home.”

“Yeah, well I haven’t done that in a while.” He gives one last small push on your forehead before leaning back again.

Pouting, you swam to the pool ladder to climb out, before plopping down beside him at the ledge. Your feet absentmindedly kick as it submerges once again into the water, and he follows suit.

“...I heard what you and mom talked about by the way,” he nonchalantly reveals.

“...Does it bother you?” You cautiously ask.

He shrugs, and gives a rough kick out with his feet. “Nah, you’re right. I don’t like talking about feelings and stuff. Maybe that’s why I didn’t really feel bad when she didn’t want to see me anymore.”

“I get why you wanted to prioritize baseball. It’s all you have,” you try to empathize. “Still, maybe you should’ve set aside time for her. It’s important to give space for other people in your life.”

He snorts. “She didn’t want to do anything important, believe me.”

“I’m sure any time spent with loved ones is priceless,” you argue.

“Oh yeah? So should I just risk my dream of being the best living baseball player of all time to makeout in my bed?”

You clam up really fast, and look away. “Don’t you have any tact?”

“You asked.” He reaches forward to scoop some water in his palm to throw at you.

“...Was it something that you did…often?” You do not know why you ask.

“Didn’t I just tell you the reason why we broke up?”

“Well I don’t know!” You throw your hands up in defense. “I just think making out with someone sounds…nice.”

He tilts his head at your tone. “Don’t tell me you’ve never.”

“I’ve…” you think very carefully about your next words. “...tried to, but it just didn’t like. Push beyond a little kiss.”

“Define little.” He angles his torso to face you, even if you could barely look him in the eyes.

“Maybe a peck?”

He whistles. “Damn, dude, way to hit all the bases.”

You try to shove him back into the water but he grabs your wrists and wrestles your arms down, pulling you close.

“Don’t be shy!” He laughs at you. “It’s kind of overrated.”

“It is?” You can’t help your natural curiosity. You put your hands down but he maintains a friendly grip on you.

“Yeah. Maybe the girls I kissed weren’t that good at it but it’s pretty…damp. And messy.”

You ignore the way your heart stings at his use of plural. “But doesn’t it feel nice? Like, it looks nice on TV.”

“Don’t get me wrong it feels…good. Really good,” he hesitates. “It just does not really compare to the batting cage.”

You bite your lip. His eyes unconsciously follow. “I… I really wanted to try doing it with that guy.”

“...The one with the nice skin?”

“And bad breath,” you grumble. “I couldn’t get over it. I tried to be subtle by sliding him some gum but he never took the hint.”

He lets go of your wrists in order to stop himself from laughing.

“It’s not funny.”

“It kind of is given how long you stuck by him,” he snickers. “Why were you even into him in the first place?”

Your mind briefly flashes back to the first time you met that boy, when your friend first introduced you to him. You remember your first thought was that he looks similar to someone you dearly missed.

You shrug, noncommittal. “Haven’t got a clue.”

“Well don’t go running off to find the next boy to get in on with,” he warns.

“I’m not!”

“Keep it that way, guys are pretty gross.”

You suck in air through your teeth. “It’s not really about that…I’m just worried that I won’t be good at it.”

“Yeah, but there’s nothing to be good at,” he gives it to you straight. “If you like a guy enough it will always be good. You’re not getting graded.”

“Well since when were you the makeout master ?”

“Since I had a girlfriend whose breath smelled fine.”

“You said you didn’t even like her that much!”

“I also said she wanted to eat my face everyday.”

Damn, he has a point. 

You give a strong kick to the water, the wave smoothly gliding to the other side of the pool.

Ken sighs, sensing the drop in your mood. “...Does it really matter so much for you to try it out?”

“Try what out?” You play dumb, too embarrassed to say that yes, it did .

He knows what game you’re trying to pull on him, but he lets you. “Eat faces.”

“I haven’t even had a proper kiss yet,” you say, mock-scandalized.

“So I’ll give you a proper kiss first then.”

You blink.

He brings his hands down to splash you with more water. “Don’t look at me stupid like that.”

“I didn’t think you meant eat faces with you !” You splash him back.

“What’s wrong with me? I thought you wanted to get good at it before kissing some guy.”

You pause. You did want to be good… Still, the conversation is starting to spiral out of control. You hesitate to reply.

He clicks his tongue as he pats the tile at his side. “Come closer.”

You sit closer to his side, thighs touching. “God this is kind of weird.”

“It’s just a kiss,” he rolls his eyes. “You wanna learn or not?”

“What if your mom sees?” You look back to the house. It seems relatively quiet, with the lights of Auntie Emiko’s room turn off and the curtains spread out.

“She’s fast asleep.”

“What if my breath smells bad?”

“I’ll let you know.”

“What if—”

“If you don’t want to, I’m not forcing you,” he cuts you off, annoyed. He makes a move to stand but you press your palm against his knee to keep him still.

“What if this fucks up our friendship?”

Ken will have given you another half-assed response if not for the sincere fear reflecting from our eyes.

You continue, “I was really, really scared before coming here. I thought that, once we met up you’ll realize how boring I am and– and think that me coming was a waste of time. And I promise I don’t think that anymore. It’s been a fun few days and it feels like I got my best friend back, you know? It was shitty of me not to come see you, I know that now, because I can’t believe I would ever reach the point where I doubted us.”

He reaches upward to cup your face, and you nuzzle into his palm.

You let out a shaky sigh. “I want to kiss you. I do. I want to know what it feels like and figure out how it goes because I trust you more than anyone else. But I really don’t want to fuck this up more than I have.”

“You haven’t fucked anything up,” he mumbles. “I wouldn’t have offered if I thought you would fuck this up…I was scared too. That you didn’t come back because you grew bored of me.”

“That’s not why—”

He presses his thumb against your cheekbone. “I know. I…I struggled with it but I know now. I feel like I haven’t really come to terms with how…my dad never picked me first. I’ve never forgiven him for how much he neglected me and my mom that I…I think some anger I had with my dad transferred onto my resentment for you when you did not visit. I’m sorry, for being immature about it. I don’t know how to talk about things like this.”

The tightening in your chest unfurls. He moves his head closer.

Your breaths intermingle as you stay by the pool.

“It means a lot…” As you speak, your lips nearly brush against his. You bring your hand up over his heart to steady yourself and maintain a distance. “...How…how do we do this?”

“Let me guide you,” he says, a little breathless. “Anything I can do to keep boundaries? I mean, since this is just a friend doing a favor for a friend.”

Nervous, you blab the first thing that comes to mind. “Maybe…we can just say ‘bro’ after every kiss?”

“...Are you shitting me right now?” He gasps, resting his forehead against yours.

“I-I don’t know…” You giggle. “It won’t count if we do. Won’t mean anything.”

“We can do that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, bro .”

“Sure, bro. ”

“Anything you say, bro .”

“Kenji—Bro, I’m… I’m still a little scared.”

“Then let me take care of you…”

You hold your breath.

His breath is hot.

And he tastes like chlorine.

Like petals sliding against each other, his lips smoothly glide against your own. Your hand against his chest creeps up to leverage itself on his neck. His fingertips slip into your hair and you clench your legs as it brought tingles from your scalp all the way down your spine.

He pulls away, eyed unfocused when he opens them. “ More .”

You open and close your mouth. “Are…Are you asking?”

“ Please…” He kisses your nose. You life your head higher to kiss him back.

You are sure he feels the goosebumps on your skin as his other hand brushes against your leg. He lets his fingers climbs up your inner thigh as the hand in your hair pushes you firmer against him. You massage the nape of his neck in return, urging him on. You move against him on instinct, panting before sucking on his bottom lip. The groan he lets out sets you on fire. You feel a heat, a hunger, which can only be satiated by his skin against yours.

Lightheaded, you pull away for air but he chases after you, his nose bumping into yours as he searches for your lips once more. “Wait,” he grunts. “Not done.” His palm slides higher up your thigh, knuckles brushing against your polyester swimwear.

You swallow back a gasp as you lean back, too prideful to seem needy for his touch. “G-Give me a min—”

You lean back too far, he leans too far forward.

You fall into the pool.

The heated water is freezing against your scalding skin. You feel him wrap his arms around your waist to hoist up above water. You are greeted with a boyish laugh as you emerge for air. You instinctively wrap your legs around his hips as he stands on the pool floor, anchoring yourself on his stability.

“My height comes in handy, huh?” He teases as he walks through the water to get to the ladder. He guides your bottom to rest on one of the steps.

You grasp the metal railings as he steps closer between your legs. Swallowing your pride, you mutter “I’m…I need more…”

“What was that?” He grins. His hands loftily roam from your thighs up to your sides back down again.

You push yourself forward to shut him up.

He dives deeper into your kiss as he runs his fingers again through your hair while his other hand grips your waist underwater. You buck into his touch, bumping against the front of his shorts, and he hisses before nipping at your lip to make you behave. Your knuckles turn white from how tightly you grip the railing. The water sloshes around you two as he presses his hips against yours. The heels of your feet dig against his lower back as you sloppily kiss him through the haze of euphoria he shoots through your nervous system.

From your hair, his hand slides down to grab your chin. He tilts your head up. “You got something…” He brings you closer, and licks at the drool leaking out of your mouth. You grip his nape tighter as he begins to peck there, then to the corner of your jaw, following its line until his butterfly kisses reach your earlobe.

Ken feels your legs clench together. His hand on your waist dips into the water to soothingly knead them back apart.

As you ease open again, he gives a sly peck on your lobe before whispering “Can I suck on your tongue?”

Your mouth goes dry.

“Nod or shake your head.”

You nod.

“Good girl. Now open your mouth and stick your tongue out.”

And shit. Did he make you feel really, really good.

Haa….

Ha…Haah…

A…A-Ah…

He lets out soft moans with each gentle suck of your tongue. They mix with your pants for air.

Reluctantly, he pulls away this time. His touch on your chin skims down to play with the strap of your bathing suit. He swallows heavily before he takes a shaky breath in.

You purse your lips, feeling the numbness. “...Well.”

He slowly nods. “Mhm.”

Your hands loosely slide down the railing. “I…I’m sorry I didn’t know what to do with my hands.”

He chuckles as he leans forward to kiss your shoulder, before slowly rubbing his face against your arm, all the way up to your wrist. He gives it a gentle peck as you still held on the railing, before falling into a pattern of rubbing up and down your arm’s length. He buries his nose at the crook of your arm, groaning.

If you do not know any better, he seems drunk.

“I-It’s getting late…”

“Yeah…” He plants open mouth kisses on your arm. Your hand nearly slips and falls into the water.

“We might prune up here.”

“Mmhmm…” He reaches your collarbone.

You tilt your head back instinctively. He smiles against your skin before his tongue swipes at your pulse. Your hands lift off the railing to grasp his back as jolt upwards.

He laughs again before pulling back. “That good, bro ?”

You instantly scowl. “You’re ruining the mood.”

“You told me to say it after,” he reminds you. Ah. It completely slips your mind that you did.

Ken helps you out of the pool, ever the gentleman. You do not realize just how cold it was until the late night wind blows against you. He hands you your towel, and you stammer out that you have to go shower. You hurry inside without waiting for his response, opting to head to the common bathroom to rinse yourself off.

By the time you enter his bedroom, he is still in the middle of his own shower. You find it odd that he is taking this long. He left the door open, and the light leaks out into the pitch-dark room. You crawl underneath his covers, dry and clean— no longer hot and sticky. Yet, you feel the familiar hunger as his scent crowds around you. You never noticed it before but his bed smells just like his everyday cologne. Burrowing your face into the pillow, you take a deep inhale to calm yourself.

You then remember the pressure of his palm against the back of your head, and wonder what it may feel like if he has your face shoved against the mattress.

“ F-fuck… ”

Your eyes shoot open as you lift your head out of the pillow. Did that slip out of you?

No, that did not come from you.

You look back at the open bathroom door, and just as quickly, you look away. You try to go sleep as you block your ears from hearing anything more. That did not do much.

You bite the inside of your cheek. Are you a fucking pervert?

Ken probably does not know you’re back in the room.

You touch your lips. They still feel warm.

It was just a friendly favor. Don’t make it weird.

Your legs shakily widen.

This is so so wrong.

You slip an extra pillow between them.

The shower stops and the door is pushed open a bit wider. You tense up before you play dead, acting as if you innocuously needed to cuddle up against something soft. His feet pad into the room before coming to a dead halt. He seems to be facing the bed. There is a crackle of hesitation in the air, before Ken heads towards his sofa and pulls it out for the mattress.

He settles himself into his makeshift bed, and you nearly sigh in disappointment when you realize you will be alone for the night, his side of your bed feeling emptier by the moment.

You still struggle to sleep long after you could hear his soft snores.

Did you fuck it up? You cannot help but chide yourself. If it is not weird, then why is he sleeping on the pullout? If it is not weird, then why did you leave him standing by the pool earlier after you finished…whatever it was you both were doing?

You slowly rock into the pillow with no particular rhythm as you thought about it. His hand touching your thigh, his knuckles grazing against…

“ A-Ah…” Your hips stutter. You clam up immediately. Shit, are you too loud?

You crane your head up to look down at the sofabed.

You don’t hear his snoring.

“...Kenji? You awake?” You call out into the dark.

A rustle of blankets. “...Yeah.”

“...you heard that?”

“.....yes….”

“.....”

“Did you…hear me…earlier?”

“...Yeah….”

He does not answer this time.

“...Did we fuck this up?” You cannot stop yourself from asking.

He breathily laughs, and it warms you right back up. “Of course not.”

The next day you sit in the breakfast nook with your Auntie Emiko as you both enjoy a simple breakfast of rice and dried fish. Kenji busies himself with getting ready for his baseball training.

Auntie Emiko chats with you about her plans for the day. “I have to go and meet up with the others moms at the PTA. What are you kids planning on doing later?”

You look at Ken as he packs up his bat, his back turned at you.

“Maybe mess around."

He evidently stills. Shit, are you bold .

But his mom just laughs it off, not really reading into what she said. “Just don’t set the house on fire and you’ll be good. It’s nice that you two are going to take the afternoon in. You had a busy day yesterday.”

You agree wholeheartedly.

“I gotta go,” Ken announces as he pulls up his bag up to his shoulder. He heads towards the table to give his mom a peck on the cheek and you a light side hug. “Bye.”

While Auntie Emiko continues on your little chat, you begin to panic. You worry that you read him wrong. You are sure you did not misunderstand where he stands. Where you stand.

You do not have to worry too long again. He always comes to melt your troubles away.

Specifically, he enters his room at 3:30PM still in his baseball uniform.

And to his credit, he at least showers and pretends you both are not thinking the same thing as he slides into bed beside you. He begins to play a random low-budget action film on his TV, and as soon as it was made clear that neither of you really gave a shit about the exploding cars and machine guns, he turns to you and asks

“Wanna makeout?”

Present day.

Ken wakes up in the shittiest mood he has been in for a while, and that is saying a lot. Not only did he have to turn down your bootycall last night, but he dreamt of your first makeout in his room.

He remembers having you on his lap and pushing your hips down as he came into his pants like the pathetic, horny teenager he was. He remembers you whining for him to teach you how to do your first french kiss like the pathetic, horny teenager you were.

Okay, maybe his thing was a lot more embarrassing. But in fairness, you left a permanent stain on the front of those boxers by the time you were finished.

He gets up from bed and takes a longest shower he has had since arriving back in Tokyo.

Just friends. Just friends. Just friends.

Ken chants in his head. It is the same ten years ago, it is the same now. Even if it feels like everything, it means nothing. Of course, it is not the same now because you ended the arrangement three years ago .

He convinces himself that you were just tired last night, and he was too. Even if the old routine is familiar, and comfortable , it does not mean it is right.

He heads down to his basement, mug of coffee in one hand, and almost immediately he is greeted by the sight of a hyperactive Emi in her cylinder and his dad muttering over some charts.

“Hey girl, morning.” His heart swells with pride as his baby Emi chirps with excitement at the sight of him. Even if last night did not go the way he wanted it to, being able to give her a name feels good. 

“Morning dad,” he walks over to Professor Sato. The old man finally looks up with a start, before his eyes focus on his son with glee.

“Good morning, Kenji! Let’s start bright and early.”

Ken rolls his neck as he begins to warm up. “What’s first on the new sched? Feeding time?”

“Ah, before that…” His dad gestures to the chair beside him, and Ken takes the seat. “There’s something we need to discuss.”

“Is it Emi’s poopies? I never got around to figuring out the schedule in which she does it.”

“No no,” the professor pauses. He wipes his palms down his pants with the nervousness of a father who never really learned how to parent.

Oh wait , Ken thinks wryly, but still tries to stifle the thought.

“Mina…informed me you were headed somewhere last night.” His tone shows he knew more than what he is saying.

Ken stands back up. “No. You cannot leave me alone for twenty years then expect me to be all fine with it when you suddenly feel the need to give me the dad talk.”

“I-I’m not trying…look, son,” his dad tries to soften his temper. “You know how much I like her. You also know how she visited me every other month to check up on me while you were away, and that she has not stopped since you have arrived back home.”

“I know that,” he cannot help but bark out.

“And you know I’ve always appreciated her family’s help with funding the KDF back when its initial mission was more humane, and I don’t hold it against them that they continue to support it until now.”

“What are you saying?” He crosses his arms tightly.

“...I’m saying that I am proud of you for staying behind last night.”

He…He is not expecting this sort of praise. “I’m sorry?”

“W-well– uh– Mina, show him the chart?” Professor Sato calls for the robot assistant.

She hovers into view, and projects to Kenji a chart of…all the times he ditched Ultraman duty the past several months to do something else, categorized by reason.

The third is sleep.

The second is baseball.

The first is you.

He winces at the statistic, because even if he did neglect his duties often to see you, it was not enough to stop you from feeling like he did not care about you.

“...point being?” He pretends not to see what is wrong.

Professor Sato lets out a deep sigh. “I am…proud. That you chose to be here this time.”

“Okay.”

“And that I think you have a shot against that Yamazaki Kento guy.”

A vein nearly pops at the side of his temple. He sets down his coffee mug on a nearby surface as he rubs his head. “Yeah, no. They aren’t together.”

“Oh!” God dad, shut up. “That’s even better news. Since when?”

“It was just a few dates,” he snaps. “They didn’t work out.”

“I see… and this was…Before or after Yuzu?”

“After Mr. Hanyu ,” Ken corrects him immediately.

His dad laughs good-naturedly. “I can’t really follow her when she tells me all about it…At least she prefers athletes over actors, eh?”

“...Thanks. Anything else before I take Emi out for her bath?”

“Uh— Well… Kenji…” Here they go again. “Last night, when you played your…sleeping aids for Emi—”

“Those are the only things that knock her out,” he hurriedly explains. The temperature of the room beginning to rise.

“...R-Right…”

“Dad, don’t worry. I know it’s a bit…weird.”

“I didn’t say that, and I didn’t think that,” Professor Sato tries to assure him. “I…I do the same for your—”

Ken transforms into Ultraman before he could hear another word. Emi’s garbled chirps got louder in glee, and he swoops her into his arms.

He shouts behind him “Whoops, gotta go! She’s getting the hungies.”

Great. Good talk. The father-son bonding is sooo back.

A/N: Dear god was this horny. I miss the club.

I kind of got really shy about writing stuff like this? This is my first time publishing anything like that. i was actually supposed to fully write out the makeout scene in the bedroom but this chapter was getting too long. I really wanted all the things they did at sixteen to happen all in one chapter so I don't have to split it. Things to note

1) the Satos are definitely upperclass lmao. "But writer why is the reader still sponsoring Kenji if he's rich—" that's just how athlete sponsorships work rich ppl give money to other rich ppl all the time. 2) I didn't really like writing Auntie HAHA. I really wanted to call her "Tita Miko" or something but I figure most of you aren't Filipino. 3) To avoid alienating anyone I tried to figure out a name for Kenji's ex gf that i doubt any person is actually named. if your name is Navy then idk... 4) I will be giving you the craziest dating history to compensate for me making Kenji date other girls YIPEE. Except for the ex, I namedrop very real life personalities in each chapter.

[the-s1lly-corner]

May I request the cast of Tadc x reader, whose y/n is a mermaid? I already imagine that yn would be right in the digital lake, singing or combing her hair like Ariel-

TADC cast x mermaid!reader !

this one may be a little short since my back is already starting to get all... stiff... sobs.... might go lay down for a few minutes then come back and knock out the other request that got sent in !!

CAINE:

caine is a little perplexed as to why you stay at the lake all the time, your room does have water... though, to be fair, your room is blocked off and small. i think it would take him a while to directly interact with you but just know that every night when you sing hes listening to you... actually now that i think about it, i dont think it would take him long to make himself known, he would probably clap and applaud you after one of your personal performances... probably makes sailor jokes, because, you know, sea stuff and mermaid lore... wants to include you more in stuff so he probably does IHAs that are lake themed, or perhaps makes something sort of like a portable tank..

POMNI:

she probably mistakes you for an NPC for a moment LMAO... i was going to go with an idea that pomni would be into mythology and stuff but now that i think about it, i actually see the opposite now thats more of something i can see zooble and gangle being into... not many ideas for pomni, unfortunately, but i think she would be friendly around you for manners

RAGATHA:

she thinks your really pretty, i think... while ragatha doesnt strike me as the type to be into mythology and stuff, i think she subconsciously is attracted to you because she grew up on stories about mermaids, fairies, and princesses... sure she doesnt remember all that since shes gotten stuck in the digital world, but the instinct to be near you is still there... i think if she got caught listening to you sing she would be so embarrassed, probably tries to excuse herself unless you tell her she can stay.. having someone come by down to the lake is nice, to finally have company

JAX:

has probably snagged your comb and darted to the shore of the lake far enough so that you cant reasonably crawl out of the water and grab it back, assuming you actively need water to survive instead of mobility... but either is really mean in my opinion.. toss him into the water/j actually i dont think he can swim, jax doesnt look like the kind of person to swim.. omg omg bonding moment for when you two get closer, imagine teaching him how to (admin never learned how to swim so theyre unqualified to write this </3)

KINGER:

rarely leaves the tent but lets say he goes down to the lake one day while you happen to be out.. similar to pomni i think he would mistake you for an NPC simply because you are almost never in the tent... i think he would enjoy your singing, though, very calming and it eases him.. quietly listens and returns a few times when he sees youre out. meek apologies when hes caught, hes almost sheepish about it and admits that he should have asked before getting up in your business.. ooo i love this man

ZOOBLE:

"so like, do you drown people," just straight up, probably asks this after a day of jax being more annoying than usual... as mentioned earlier i think they would be really into mythological creatures and lore, as well as cryptids, both before and after joining the circus... sure you probably arent lore accurate to mermaid stories in the real world, but i think they would like to learn about youre whole deal.. sometimes helps you get stuff out of your hair if things get tangled up

GANGLE:

gangle is what gets tangled up in your hair^/j

no but i think she would also be very interested in your whole deal, but is less blunt about it unlike zooble... also thinks your pretty.. i think she would bring stuff down to the lake for you guys to do together, like games and drawing stuff... its nice for the both of you to be away from everyone else but still have company in someone who knows what its like to be cast to the side; be it due to shyness or being locked to a place

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Something that I couldn't put into words but now I can about the Chaggie conflict in "Rosie" and one other reason it hurt: Charlie questioning Vaggie's loyalty. Yes, I know it wasn't because of Vaggie's origin but because of the lie itself but still hurts and clearly hurt Vaggie - she has been nothing but loyal and honest in Charlie's dream and has only ever done 1 lie in all of that. And when it's revealed, Charlie is now questioning everything - Again, I understand but it still hurts. And I know this might be redundant, I WANT this moment to come back again in S2. I don't know how but I want Vaggie to admit how angry/hurt it made her that Charlie questioned the loyalty she has given without asking for anything. What do you think?

i don't think Vaggie was even slightly angry with Charlie until her girlfriend made a magically binding pact with an unrepentant serial killer the second Vaggie wasn't looking XD

......we're asking a bit much by expecting the woman who hates and judges herself over her own mass murderer past... to then be upset that her girlfriend was also hurt and angry about that and reacted badly to randomly having all that dropped out of the clear blue sky in the middle of an already terrible day...

so in that ep got the vibe Vaggie spent the entire time feeling sick and guilty over the whole thing tbh. As usual

(and her feeling very very not good about seeing Alastor getting all creepy mentor with a Charlie who just got a wedge driven between her and her main emotional support- im 100% sure Vaggie's "Charlie can we talk-?" following Alastor's "good girl" thing was her wanting to know EXACTLY what deal her gf just made with Alastor and what the hell she was thinking and charlie are you sure Vaggie can't just stab him a little as a warning-)

But Vaggie, she's also not really uh. Not got a good track record of wanting or letting Charlie know about her feeling bad about stuff, emotions wise. Even when Charlie is right next to her reaching out. That's not her thing???

ah what the hell tangent time

like one big reason Vaggie DIDN'T fess up her past to Charlie was her being scared Charlie would be hurt by it and actually hate her for having done that, because Vaggie is being hurt by her past and hates herself for having it (re: every time she's called angels like herself deranged), so even though the blackmail against her made NO real sense and Adam's threat was just him not understanding that someone (charlie) could ACTUALLY believe in redemption for LITERALLY anyone (she does), it still pinged Vaggie's fear right in the heart, making the stuff like how Charlie is letting a known serial killer live in the hotel and help out with her and Vaggie's dream go RIGHT out the window-

(to be fair from Vaggie's pov there's probably a BIG difference between ending someone's mortal life on Earth (a la normal sinner seral killers) and presumably destroying their entire soul forever (re: exorcists) so like, that's kinda fair, but it still doesn't include how Charlie is WILLING TO WORK WITH AND THINK THE BEST OF HEAVEN AND THE EXORCISTS ANYWAY which is WHY she thought going to heaven to talk with them could work in the first place)

(to be extra fair it doesn't MATTER how much Vaggie trusts Charlie bc Vaggie had body parts ripped off and her eye permanently gouged out and was abandoned in hell by someone ELSE she use to trust once and THAT means really trusting people not to hate or abandon her is gonna take her putting some more blame on Adam and Lute and co and less on herself, because as long as she focuses on what SHE did (murderer) to make all this happen TO herself (filth like you doesn't deserve-) she's never gonna fully get that what happened to her was a choice shit people made (let's exterminate ppl for fun! let's rip off our comrade's wings and eye without hesitation!!!), one they didn't have to make, one she didn't make for them- meaning non-shit people like Charlie probably won't do that to her, actually, bc people like Charlie will care about Vaggie as a person outside of her being useful or being exactly what is wanted. Like how Charlie was more worried about Vaggie at the end of ep 3 than anything else and wouldn't let Vaggie blame herself and was fine with things being hard as long as she and Vaggie could face them together. Like how Charlie was calmed in the More Than Anything reprise not by Vaggie promising to fix everything but by Vaggie saying Charlie is important and wonderful to HER)

if anything Vaggie might be upset if she found out Charlie had less of a problem with the Exorcist thing than with the lying thing

If you (Vaggie) think you still need to EARN redemption, then having someone say your sins don't bother them so much can ironically make you panic and either think they're lying to you OR it can make you worry you've downplayed what you've done and are somehow tricking the person you love into believing you're a better person than you actually are and therefor might be taking advantage of them, which of course you don't want to do because you love them, which is a pretty big contradiction you probably won't notice is there

Sooooo i could see Vaggie spiraling into something like THAT but,

her be angry at Charlie for being upset over the thing Vaggie hates about herself? the mental health levels aren't good enough for that one yet XD

basically both Vaggie and Charlie got to live through the very fun experience of being trapped in your own head and trauma

anyway, the fact that Charlie didn't ask or want or LET Vaggie do an apology for any of that at the hotel gates says more than enough for me, for both of them. Just like with Vaggie putting her own fear and self-loathing onto Charlie, most of Charlie's pain in that ep didn't come from Vaggie's past or Vaggie's lie.

I've said Charlie's bad at figuring out what she's feeling and ep 7 is where it really bit her in the ass- she got hit with an identity crisis (turns out the one person who always believes in her didn't trust her enough to tell her this) (this on top of the epic fail of their shared dream to save sinners from extermination and the looming destruction of the hotel that represents that dream) and trauma trigger (what if Vaggie lied about all of that too, what if she never really loved or had faith in Charlie, what if Charlie is going to be alone again) without understanding that's what was going on or that it was something coming from herself as much as from Vaggie.

Being away from Vaggie didn't reduce Charlie's stress during that ep, it made it worse, until Rosie had to yoink her in for an emergency counseling session. Before that Charlie vents about how she told Vaggie everything and shared everything with her (the exorcist thing gets a TINY throwaway mention it is NOT the focus here) and when you add the lie revelation to how Vaggie asked to be alone on the roof in ep 3 instead of letting Charlie be there for her, it stops being about ONE lie TO Charlie, and turns into YEARS of lies ABOUT Charlie's place in Vaggie's life.

Which was terrifying and painful and... went away the MOMENT Charlie realized Vaggie did actual love her and believe in her, and was not actually going to leave her.

If actions mean more than words then their reunion at the hotel gates is them both saying the only thing either of them want to hear- I missed you, i love you, i want to be with you. Here's this horrible souvenir i picked up for your while we were on opposite sides of town and thanks babe im gonna fling myself into your open arms about it.

Vaggie hates herself too much to feel like Charlie owes her an apology for being hurt and angry at the Exorcist lie. It was a pretty big thing to keep hidden

i mean murder aside, Charlie had no idea Vaggie's opinions and advice about heaven was from personal experience, she probably assumed it was just normal sinner bias against the people who kill sinners and not, you know, Vaggie secretly dissing on how terrible her former boss and co-workers used to be. Maybe Charlie would've approached the talking to heaven differently if she'd known. Maybe she would've tried strangling Lute's hologram in ep 1. we will sadly never know

we DO know that Vaggie ran to hug Charlie right after the secret was revealed, which means Vaggie was mainly worried about Charlie being hurt by it, which doesn't really leave a lot of room for Vaggie to be upset at Charlie when Charlie does turn out to be hurt by it

so Vaggie wanting an apology from Charlie? I see her more wanting a very, very, VERY long hug

but if Charlie ever tries giving an apology anyway (a la the balcony scene in ep 3), that might just freak Vaggie out and fuck her up with "oh no my gf doesn't understand how bad the things i've done are am i tricking her am i using her would she be better off without me" issues for the foreseeable future ^w^;

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep1 Musings - Daciana: History through Visual Context in Ploiești, Romania

I immediately fell in love with The Vampire Daciana & her Romanian castle, and wanted to know more about it all.

We already know how much the set/costume designers on IWTV looooove attention to detail; they tell whole stories just through architecture, furniture, clothes, etc. So I was like OK, AMC, I see you; lemme start doing some reading up on Romania, so I can try to figure out what might be going on with Daciana. (Warning: I know eff all about Romania or Eastern Europe.)

ROMANIA

Map of Romania. Ploiești's the dot just under Muntenia, north of Bucharest, the capital. Ploiești's part of Wallachia, the IRL kingdom of Vlad Tepes (aka Dracula). Louis & Claudia went there in the 1940s, so I hope this map is accurate enough. (There's this map, but I dunno the date.)

DACIANA

The most obvious thing about her is that she's not dressed in the typical traditional Romanian folk clothing I see all over Google, full of white-red-blue/black palettes.

Daciana's not following traditional 19th/20th-century Romanian nationalist images. Her green/brown palette & silhouette is telling, as she lacks the puffy white blouses & dark skirts. (Despite her name, I'm ruling out her being Dacian (X X)--you think you're FUNNY, AMC! But IDK about Cezare Romulo (X X); might do a Pt2!)

Sleeves

First thing's her trailing slashed open sleeves, which were screaming Medieval! at me. Here's some 15th century Renaissance examples, but with surcoats, which is different, but the sleeves reminded me of hers so IDFK.

We could chalk this up to Daciana's design as just generic "medieval" fairytale stuff and keep it moving. But to give her a fair shake, I looked at local examples for anything similar that's more recent.

Traditional clothing from Huedin, Romania (north Transylvania), (X X).

Traditional clothing from Cluj, Romania (north Transylvania).

Keep Transylvanian/Muntenian cross-cultural contacts in mind when we get to Daciana's castle, cuz it's important!

Wrt rarer non-puffy sleeves, the square cut (light blue) seems to be more prevalent in Wallachia/Moldavia/Bessarabia (southern & eastern Romania); while the rectangular cut (dark green) is all over Romania, but definitely has a concentration in Wallachia & Moldavia.

And this makes sense, cuz the style seems to also be prevalent in 19th - 20th century Bulgaria, just south of Wallachia. Hrm....

Daciana's sleeves hang very long--the only example of super long sleeves I could find is a 19th century one at the Met (C.I.47.3.4a–d). The only example of slashed sleeves I could find is in this museum exhibit at Bran Castle (yes, THE Bran Castle--I'll get to it in a minute!)

Belt, Bodice, & Fabric

Daciana's belt is so plain compared to everything else. Is it supposed to be a leather Romanian chimir (worn by mountain/forest folk)? Those are only worn by men though? Or it depends? Or is it a just a plain cloth belt? It's reminding me of these examples (X X):

I wish I could see more of Daciana's bodice, if there's any particular kind of cut or patterns. Is the diamond netted/knotted/roped pattern on her arms significant? Her fabric is interesting, too:

What's this embroidery? Brocade? (Byzantine-Renaissance?) Damask? (c. 14th-16th century?) Lace? Something else? My brain wants to assume it's imported? Meaning: she's hella rich. Cuz like, the traditional Romanian blouse & skirt used to belong solely to peasants, b4 19th-20th century aristocrats started wearing it, too.

IDKY--more reading led me to a whole bunch of complicated stuff, that can probably be simplified by just saying: The Ottomans. XD

The pre-19th century Romanian aristocracy wore super opulent clothes, inspired by not just the Ottomans (X), but also the Byzantine Greeks (via 18th century Romanian Phanariote boyars (X X X)), etc. But aside from the hanging sleeves, Daciana's dress doesn't really resemble any of these foreign examples. However, it does track with my theory that Daciana predates the 19th-century Romanian nationalist/traditional clothes that became so iconic later on.

Like Louis & Claudia did, let's follow Daciana to her castle! ^0^

DACIANA'S CASTLE

I NEED to know if AMC filmed on location in Romania, or if Daciana's castle is just a studio set/green screen.

The interior's nowhere near what I expected, considering Daciana's haggard appearance. It's really nice--clean & tidy. No spiderwebs, no chipped plaster/paint, not even any bloodstains--but I've mentioned before that I think it's indicating that Daciana's a mother who takes better care of her home (and "child") than herself.

Archway

The first thing is the arch when they first come in (noticeable mostly cuz of how Louis had to bend down to get in, he's so tall).

These types of doors/arches are called "shouldered arches," dating from the Medieval-Gothic periods, which Europeans adapted from Islamic architecture during the medieval Crusades. (Examples inc. Lainici Monastery in Wallachia, and the Academy of Art in Cluj-Napoca (north Transylvania).)

The left pic's Biertan Fortified Church, in Sibiu (south Transylvania). (Another door.) The right pic's Bran Castle, in Brasov (south Transylvania). (Another door.) (Vlad Tepes/Dracula historically never owned this castle, but pop culture says otherwise.) Both places were built by the German/Saxon Transylvanians in the 14th-16th centuries; which might help date Daciana's castle, if not Daciana herself? (The Saxon Transylvanians were in Wallachia, too.)

Wall Ornamentation

The last thing I'll discuss is the wall ornamentation/decoration:

The painted floral trim everywhere instantly reminded me of The Witcher 3, as found in Hungarian, Polish, Ukranian etc buildings. Apparently the designs are all related to fertility, growth/luck, and the Tree of Life. Walls (X X X) and doors (X X) were painted. You can see northern Romanian painted ornamentation in Suceava (Bukovina).

There's painted wall designs in southern Romania, too.

"The research of the popular interior in the Argeş and Muscel areas leads to the determination, along with a local specificity, and some Transylvanian influences, in the contact areas between southern Transylvania and northern Muntenia. In the researched areas, two lines of development of the popular interior can be observed, one relatively simple and the other complex. If the first is the prerogative of a typical Subcarpathian interior, the second represents a distinctly Transylvanian form, which was also imposed due to the presence of the Transylvanian population in the south of the Carpathians, settled in numerous villages." -- (Google Translated from Arta populară din zonele Argeș și Muscel, 1967)

(The website RomaniaDacia has A LOT to say about Transylvania, and the impact of the Germans, Saxons, Hungarians, etc on Wallachia & the rest of Romania.)

Sure enough, I was finding way more carved ornamentation (X X X X X X) than painted ones.

But I wonder if that's why a lot of southern traditional Romanian interiors I've been finding have totally plain whitewashed walls, too, with no painted ornaments, just tapestries (X X). I did find Romanian interior floral wall painted trims (X), but not nearly as much.

Cuz actually, the closest comparanda I was finding for Daciana was Northern European rosemaling (X X), which is also giving me medieval vibes (X); specifically: trims on illuminated manuscripts like the Book of Hours (X X X)--which we know from Lestat in S01E06.

And we do see some Romanian medieval fresco borders & frescoes that had been plastered over & whitewashed, in Biertan's 15th century churches, and in 13th-15th century Darjiu (Transylvania).

So, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of Romanian buildings (especially castles with whitewashed plastered walls) were formerly painted similar to Daciana's. Unfortunately, I just can't find an example or figure out what AMC might've been inspired by--Romania has hundreds of castles & churches.

So, I'm tapping out--this is the most I could find so far. U_U

Results? Inconclusive! 😭 My Google-fu has failed me, LOL!

I still have no idea what time period Daciana could be from. We could go several routes:

Go by her name, and say she's ooooold AF, an actual Dacian. She's just been collating Eastern European culture as she ages, but stopped at some point (as her mind deteriorated)

She's medieval, somewhere roundabouts the 14th-16th century (making her ~500 years old, the same age as Armand--but she's weaker (as I've theorized b4), which is why she was able to burn herself up.)

Settle on her being a local Wallachian from Southern Romania, likely pre-19th century / pre-industrial early-modern Europe

Handwave everything aside as Renn-Faire fairytale fantasy; let the tale seduce you~!

OR, we can just bully AMC until they give us an extended BTS look at how Daciana was conceptualized, telling us all the tea about her! 😈

[fanfiction4sooya]

God I just read the wolf hybrt yujin and twas fucking hot wtf, btw wondering if u can make wony version of it? Add little flavor and some spice on it? 🧂🌶️ Thanks 🧏

Hi sweetie!!! Sorry for the long wait, I was thinking of this and realized that wony would never be a wolf hybrid... They are too aggressive and on the nose with it. She'd definitely be a panther hybrid mistaken for a kitty, though...

(about the flavor and spice... I don't know what you meant by that, luv 🤠 but here we go)

Like imagine her being so small and cute when you two were kids, always so playful and fun but overall very jealous in a subtle way. You always thought it was because as a cat they are more individualistic and in a way it was just... x10.

Growing up she got more reserved to others but always very warm to you and your parents. Much taller than cat hybrids and her fangs and claws were bigger and stronger too, so imagine something else...

She got so stressed with the sudden change in routine with you two going to college and stuff that it literally trigged her first rut a day before the two of you were separating. And by separating I mean sleeping in different dorms only.

"Are you going to leave me for someone else?" She trapped you against the door of your room, lowly purring but it made you tremble, the things in the room vibrating with how powerful it felt.

"wony..." You tried to remove yourself from her grip but she was too strong. She smelled sweet and intoxicating. "of course not baby..." You felt her member grind against your stomach, big and warm.

"Prove it to me then" She hissed on your ear. "You are mine. Prove it" She let go of your hands and crossed her arms over her chest, lifting one eyebrow.

You didn't know what to do, her defying eyes scaring you, turning you on. You could see the outline of her cock through her pants and oh, you wanted it in your mouth. Your fumbled a bit with her zipper until you could open it, getting on your knees and giving it a good lick to it's tip. She rolled her eyes, unconsciously grabbing the back of your hair to pull you into her to fit her whole length inside your mouth.

You tried to push her by the thighs but all you could feel was the wetness seeping through your panties, how every time she blindly thrusted inside your mouth you felt more and more aroused. She was fucking your face so good it was maddening how you've never experienced that before, you unconsciously started to pull her into you by the hips. You came together, her seed spilling in the back of your throat as you squirted on your panties, wetting the floor, shaking so hard you blacked out.

When you realized she was already easing her whole cock in your tight cunt, laying you on the ground. She had ripped your clothes and you didn't even see it happening, moaning loudly when you felt the sudden stretch. She bit your collarbone, licking your lips to passionately pull your hips to hers, growling.

You started crying for more, locking your ankles behind her back, her beautiful face contorting as your cunt throbbed on her dick.

"wony please come inside, please" you pleaded and she smiled slamming even harder, making her life's mission to cum inside you over and over again.

"my pretty little cock sleeve" she purred on your ear. "I'll make sure to give you my pups" she closed her eyes, clawing at your hips. It hurt but you wouldn't complain. She was feeling like that because of you, it was only fair you'd let her take it out on you.

She locked your hands over your head with one hand, still fucking you hard. Her seed felt so good on your womb it made you cum again; as your orgasm washed over you she didn't even wait for you to open your eyes again, turning you to be in all fours as she kept the in and out pace, her cock reaching even deeper. How come did she have so much stamina? Fuck.

"wony please, enough" you cried, face scratching down on the cold floor.

"it's enough when I tell you it is" she said through gritted teeth, pulling you by the hair to bite your back and neck.

She kept that for god knows how much time, spilling inside of you a number or times as well. You were already in and out of consciousness, your cunt red and puffy and so full it was leaking from your hole.

She put you in all fours again, cumming one last time but on your back, purring loudly as she did so. Her cheeks red and her eyes focusing on watching your body spasming because of her, contorting for her.

"I bet you won't ever try to leave me now..." She hugged you close, licking you. Cleaning you with her tongue, careful not to hurt you with it's spikes.

"I won't wony, I swear..." You weakly said, falling asleep as she kept licking you and purring against your skin.

[bedsyandco]

and when daisy cancels on him friday night, and he sees that she went to quinn’s game instead with their group of friends, he decided to take trevor up on that offer.

Damn that was kinda mean of Daisy

she was planning on going to jack’s game, she really was. but then all her friends was going to quinn’s game, and he asked her to come and she just couldn’t say no.

she really didn’t think jack would be that upset about it and she could always try to go and watch another one of his games! but he was really upset . . .

he watched the stands for her the whole night. she could’ve at least texted him. and jack makes sure she knows he’s upset too. doesn’t smile at her in the hallways at school. doesn’t bother greeting her when she’s at their house to see quinn. just kinda seems very uninterested until daisy addresses it one day.

he was already in the kitchen when she came down from quinn’s room to grab a drink. and when jack sees her entering, he immediately moves to leave but she stops him before he can.

“can we talk for a sec?” daisy asks, a hand on jack’s arm to halt him and jack resists the urge to lean into her touch more, trying to remember why he was upset with her

“is there any point in talking when I can’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth,” jack snaps, and feels immediately bad for it when she flinches a little

“okay, I deserve that. jack I really am sorry,” daisy says and jack clenches his jaw slightly

“when you say you’re gonna do something, do it. and if you change your mind or something comes up at least have the decency to text someone and let them know,” jack mumbles leaning on the kitchen counter and daisy sighs, moving her hand up to his shoulder and jack gets funny feeling in his chest when her thumb moves back and forth across the fabric of his T-shirt.

“you’re right. what I did was really rude but I promise I didn’t do it on purpose. I wasn’t planning on going to quinn’s game but something came up and I really had to go to that game. and I totally forgot that I had promised you I would go to yours. which is my fault 100% and I’m really sorry I bailed on you and didn’t text, it totally slipped my mind. which isn’t an excuse, I know I messed up okay? and I really am sorry. And I’m also sorry it’s taken me like a week to apologize. to be fair you have ran away from me every time I’ve wanted to,” daisy says and jack huffs

“I wasn’t running away,” jack mumbles in protest but daisy just sends him a look

“the point is i’m sorry okay? I don’t want you to be mad at me,” daisy says and jack sends her a soft smile

“I’m not mad anymore dais. I honestly forgave you already. I just had a bad day and it’s making me more irritated than usual, sorry,” he admits a little shyly and daisy squeezes his shoulder gently

“s’okay, we all have bad days. anything you wanna talk about?” daisy asks and jack sighs

“not really, it’s just hockey stuff,” jack says and daisy knows he’s not gonna talk about it with her, but even if he did, she wouldn’t be able to relate so she probably wouldn’t be of much use anyway, but there was someone else who could help.

“you should talk to Quinny about it,” she says

“I don’t know, he has a lot going on too. I don’t wanna add more things to his plate,” jack says and daisy smiles, finding him endearing

“Quinn is such an older sibling. he loves taking care of other people, especially those he loves. I bet you he’d love being able to give you advice. and he just so happens to be pretty decent at it,” daisy says, and jack just nods, acknowledging he heard what she said, but not committing to doing it. which was fine. daisy wasn’t one to push, which was one of the things he loved about her. liked about her.

“so we’re good?” daisy asks one more time

“yeah dais, we’re good,” jack says and laughs softly when she kisses him on the cheek

“perfect. I know you’re about to make yourself a ham and cheese toastie, make me one? I’d love you forever,” she teases, and makes her way back up the stairs before jack could respond

if only it was that easy, he’d make her all the ham and cheese toasties she wants.

[aromanticautiesworld]

finn x fem reader whos really into science, rambles on a bunch and finn actually listena to her which she hasnt seen anyone do and actually CARE about what shes saying and immediately starts crushing (they were og friends but it just made her heart flutter and it was a pretty sunset)

YES YES ABSOLUTELY love this <- fixated on astrophysics since he was six and is considering becoming one in the far future

////

finn with a fem reader who’s a science nerd

word count: 745

Finn called you over for repairs to their telescope not too long ago, something about a fight with the Ice King where he cracked the lense. The sun had already gone down, and the stars (now more visible after all the human’s pesky light pollution was gone) came out of their hiding spots along with the crescent moon.

You stopped the video game you were speeding through, the call being a necessary distraction to pull you out of what would otherwise be many hours straight of gameplay, and a significant lack of self-care.

You pack your bag with snacks, and (of course) books about astrophysics and astronomy (just in case the hangout became a sleepover, or you suddenly needed them. Things can get very chaotic very quickly with Finn), two of your favorite and very closely related sciences. Unlike him, you didn’t want to adventure for your whole life, you did eventually want to become an astrophysicist, maybe study with Peebs.

“Why do you even have a telescope if you never use it?” You say, looking down at the new lense you were trying to install.

“‘Cuz we need it to see any incoming baddies,” Finn waves his sword around, whacking imaginary enemies.

“What about, like. Using binoculars instead,”

“Telescope sees better,”

“Fair point, fair point,” You raise an eyebrow at him, “You do actually know what it’s for, right?”

Finn pauses to think. “I mean…you look at the stars. At least I think you do. I dunno why you’d look at them through that when you can see ‘em perfectly fine from here,”

“It’s cool, trust me! It’s to see them in more detail,”

Finn stares blankly at you.

“So, in space, there’s, like. a hundred billion things—things we can’t even see from here—and this telescope lets you look at all the stuff you can’t see and all the stuff you can see but better,”

Finn sheathes his sword, “I thought there was just the stars, planets and the moon in space?”

“Oh, well. Yeah, but there’s also asteroids, meteoroids, all those decayed satellites from before the mushroom war, supernovas—oh oh oh! Do you know what a supernova is? They’re so cool—they’re basically a big, big star that after becoming a red supergiant they implode in this huge burst of energy that lasts years—and at the end it either makes a neutron star, or a black hole. Black holes are actually super cool too, they don’t let anything out—not even light! Most black holes are smaller than Ooo but there are some massive ones at the center of every galaxy—which is a whole other thing—that could’ve been formed by being compressed at the center of giant stars back in the ancient universe. Also, they’re probably going to be the last thing in the universe but because of hawking radiation eventually they’ll fade away too, and…um…”

You look back over at Finn, who now sat criss cross on the floor of the balcony. He’d been intently listening (even if he didn’t understand some of it) but in your eyes you were boring him. Most people don’t have the energy or desire to listen to your long rants about space, and once you start, the conversation fizzles out and they’re too tired to talk to you.

You look down at your hands, “Sorry, I was rambling again. We can talk about something else if you want, haha…”

“No, no no no,” He had zoned out many times during PB’s talks of numbers and other things kinda irrelevant to him, but for you it was different. Maybe he just likes hearing the sound of your voice, he doesn’t know. “Can you keep going?”

Your heart flutters.

Your rambling continues on into the night, moon and stars slowly moving across the skies. Finn doesn’t add much to the conversation, mostly watches with a fluttering feeling he couldn’t figure out in his chest. Man, you were pretty when you talked.

Many hours later (you don’t know it, but the sun’s coming up soon), you sit by Finn’s side, both of you sleepy from staying up all night.

Finn looks over to you, “Tonight was fun,”

You’re quiet, “…the funny thing is, most peeps don’t like to hear about it. The stars,”

“I wanna hear about the stars, if it’s you talking about them,”

Your eyes practically sparkle, and you pull him into a hug. Finn’s face grows hot, and he freezes before hugging you back.

“Tier one, dude,”

“What?”

“What?”

[tinycheesecakedetective]

...I'm baaaack.

I mean, I made one post about Swap!PV and then got distracted for months, so I wouldn't really call this a comeback. The moment I did come back though, apparently a bunch of lore just fell from the sky! Beast Yeast is upon us and all of a sudden I remember making an alt. version of this goober.

Turns out there were a few things I wasn't satisfied with in the first one, so here I am with my Swap!Vanilla 2.0 human edition! Even after all this time I still don't have a name for him. There's more white in his design, he has four horns instead of two and they form a crown on his head(that might be a bit hard to see), he also has a halo, his staff changed drastically, and he lost his soul gem. Instead he has two new smaller gems on his "ribcage".

This time around I tried to invoke more death themes, hence the ribcage, more wrappings, the halo, and the burn marks from, y'know, being re-baked and essentially reborn. The halo also makes for a nice double meaning, showing his somewhat good intentions behind the violence and spreading chaos gig.

Speaking of intentions, I maybe or maybe not have mentioned the only swaps happening in this proposed AU are between PV and WL and [possibly] Black Raisin and Red Velvet. I say maybe because if I checked, all the writing would disappear and I would have to start over again. However, I have wondered if those two swapped, how would PV handled the kingdoms? Would it be the same as DE or would the fates of each kingdom end up being swapped as well? It's something I definitely need to think on and develop.

Anyways, ramble break, here's a few doodles I did for Swap!PV!

Yeah, I had a lot of fun doing this. SO! A few changes not mentioned prior. Eyes! There are more eyes, especially on his coat. I took a bit of inspiration from a certain blue jester and his realm of nightmares. It also plays nicely with the whole "truth revealed" theme. Why not give the holder of the light of truth a bunch of opened eyes to represent his awakening? Also they looked good and his cape-coat was too plain without it.

Fun Head Canons: He's always floating, even when he's relaxing his feet never touch the floor. This PV still has a lily garden, it's just hidden away because while he still misses WL despite everything, he refuses to show weakness in front of others. His coat can take the shape of angel wings when angry and multiple eyes can appear when furious or in distress. Speaking of eyes, the ones on his coat glow. Those gems on him are pieces of moonstone that got corrupted after saving him.

As for the story behind him, I had to make a few adjustments. For one, DE and WL are two halves of the same whole, and the only reason either of them exists is thanks to precautions taken by Elder Faerie. Which means Pure Vanilla somehow has to get the stuff from Lily, who came to Beast Yeast without saying much of anything to anyone beforehand. Secondly, it means the Pure Vanilla Kingdom can't be the last kingdom explored. Pre Beast Yeast, the order in which the kingdoms would be explored would change, where White Lily's area would be explored first instead and the Vanilla Kingdom would be last. I'll address the second issue on a different post related to White Lily, but first things first. Fair warning, I wrote quite a bit.

~~~

After forming the seal, White Lily falls ill due to the immense amount of power used. She's not used to using so much of her soul gem, much less creating a seal to lock away ancient evils. Seeing her faltering state, Elder Faerie takes her away to his palace to help her recover. During her time in the palace, White Lily becomes distressed because not only does she feel like she's being a burden, but she won't be able to continue her research on how cookies were made. That was the whole point of coming here, after all. She left her friends and home behind to find the truth and ended up sick and bed ridden instead. The least she could do to redeem herself was to find the truth.

Racked with guilt and regret, she asks Elder Faerie for two favors; she wishes to know the secret behind cookies' creation, and she requests a pen and paper to write with. Before long, White Lily gains a messenger(Silverbell) who gives her books from the library to read, and a way to reach the one other person she understands. Someone who should've known where she was most of all. Pure Vanilla Cookie.

From there the two keep exchanging letters as White Lily brushes up on fae and beast lore. But eventually White Lily would learn about the Night of the Witches in a similar enough way to canon, i.e. finding the book about it. While she's recovered enough, she's still not well enough to go, and Elder Faerie isn't risking her well being and safety for a banquet. She's devastated that her questions may never be answered. If only she could go, if only there was some way to witness it while being in the Fairy Kingdom. And then... she realizes something. Perhaps there is a way for her to know after all...

White Lily, in the discomfort of her hospital bed, writes a letter to Pure Vanilla and asks him to go to the Witch's Banquet in her place. She knows that this is a huge ask, and he has every reason to refuse the favor, but it would mean the world to her if he did. Elder Faerie hears about this and is rightfully worried, telling her about the dangers, and any cookie that goes doesn't come back the same, if at all. He sends his own letter to Pure Vanilla to warn him of the dangers that lie ahead. A few more letters come in from WL apologizing for her request, saying it was out of line and inappropriate. "What a selfish request," she thinks, "after leaving him in the dark for so long, I have the nerve to ask him for anything at all?"

However, despite everything, he eventually decides to go. He knows that this means everything to her, and a part of Pure Vanilla secretly wondered about it as well. White Lily searched heaven and earth to find the truth so she could help others. Why would he keep avoiding it for so long? If he knew the truth as well, perhaps he could use these secrets to help the people of Earthbread alongside her. Maybe now he would finally understand White Lily more.

He wrote a letter addressed to both WL and EF about his final decision. White Lily is surprised at his decision, and is eternally grateful, while Elder Faerie is more resigned and concerned, knowing that he won't be able to change his mind but still wanting to help. He asks her to help write her next letter, and the two send a package to Pure Vanilla. Inside was another letter with the faint smell of lilies, as well as a map to the location of the banquet and a moonstone from Elder Faerie as a show of goodwill and for protection. He in turn sends what would become his final letter to her, unbeknownst to the two reading. He expresses his gratefulness to both WL and EF and declares his determination to find answers both for her and for the sake of everyone, stating, "Let me be your hope when you have none, and you my guiding light in shadows..."

Pure Vanilla proceeds to head to the Witch's Banquet, discovers the bitter truth, and in his attempts to save the other cookies falls into the ultimate dough. The fleeting scent of lilies is the last thing he grasps in his final moments, and the faint glow of a moonstone ensures his survival. His soul gem shatters under the weight of the truth and is scattered across the world, longing to be made whole once again.

~~~

Well! I think I have said everything I can say about him for now. I'm sure I can come up with more things later, but if you read this far, thanks for reading! I did not know I was going to say this much, so yeah. Next post is for White Lily specifically, I hope. I'm also taking suggestions for ideas about the other kingdoms and ways this could go, so if you have anything to suggest, let me know. Y'all have a good evening!