#i mean I already knew that but wow
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KEY 키 DAZED 데이즈드 Shooting Behind [x]
#SHINee#key#kim kibum#dazed#analook#he's so photogenic at every angle#i mean I already knew that but wow#my.gifs
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i've probably already talked about this before but it's so crazy to me how in 2012, splinter, who has some idea that he's about to die at the hands of the shredder, decides to split his sons up in the final boss fight and has raph on the roof with him instead of leo.
like in a writing stand point, you'd think they have leo there instead, the one he has the most personal moments with. the one that he's most connected to, due to the fact that in the beginning of that very episode he's like: yeah so when i die and you become their sensei/parental figure yada yada yada...
but they have RAPH there instead. and it's like. devastating to think that splinter thought that maybe he'd survive... but then if he didn't, he'd have to have at least one of his kids up there with him... and he'd have to pick who it was that had to see that :/
and part of me thinks that it was probably always between leo and raph. maybe because they're the oldest/strongest and having mikey or donnie up there was maybe never an option... of course he'd want to protect them all from it but it was a choice he had to make and maybe one he'd mulled over before the fight even started.
and yeah maybe they put raph there instead of leo because they needed a reason why leo wouldn't just.. go ham and kill the shredder up right and so they kinda nerfed raph by having him injured but yeah. i think about it a LOT that raph was the one that was with their dad when he was killed, up on that roof without his brothers watching his dad go over the edge :(
#do you think he heard the party wagon pull up and felt a slight second of relief until he knew it was too late....#and yeah ik he had april too but yall know what i mean#OH 2012 I LOVE YOU#splinter's death is still one of those things where im like. damn they did that huh#WOW....#i need all the alternative fics where its each of the brothers up there instead and how they'd react#i mean. probably a lot of the same reactions but like.#imagine raph just rushing to get off that roof when he's already hurt like he just wants his brothers :(((( knowing his dad was down there.#dead :///#wah i made myself sad OOPS lmao#tmnt 2012
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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“The Moon Warrior,” Marvel 85th Anniversary Special (Vol. 1/2024), #1.
Writer and artist: Yuji Kaku; Special thanks to Ken Kunito
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 85th Anniversary Special#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Tsukikage#HUH#stumbling across this story when I was just flipping through this issue for the Spider-Man was already unexpected#I didn’t even clock the crescent (and thus that this guy was a Moon Knight-adjacent character) until I saw the name Tsukikage#(which even me with my incredibly INCREDIBLY limited Japanese recognizes as meaning «moon shade/light/beam» in English)#and took a closer look#then of course there is the fact that this is one of the darkest Moon Knight stories I’ve read in a while#but that all made sense when I got to the end and got hit from the other side by finding out that this was done by YUJI KAKU???#I love Hell’s Paradise???? and I knew he had a MK story coming up for Phases of the Moon Knight#but we get TWO??? I mean don’t get me wrong I obviously love Moon Knight too but ???#but wow yeah this uhhhhh sure is a discussion of Japan’s imperial past which ???? I was not expecting but it sure exists
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i often see people talk about how Everyone in the fandom hated sandgorse and no one defended him… and i just can’t help but wonder what kind of fandom hellscape i grew up in because my experience was definitely not that. whenever i pointed out sandgorse was a shit dad people would always try to defend him and say he loved tallstar and was just a little misguided or that he was just trying to do what was best for tallstar, etc. etc. all that dismissive stuff. can someone go back in time and beam me to the side of the fandom that accepted he was bad because for me all these people defending him really messed me up when it came to my real life experiences because i was just a kid being told that an abusive father character that could be seen in real people wasn’t “as bad” as i was trying to say…
#warriors#warrior cats#wc#sandgorse#tallstar#tallstar’s revenge#tw abuse#tw parental abuse#tw abuse apologism#no hate ofc towards the people who say everyone rightfully hated sandgorse esp bc iirc most examples were in regards to misogyny or i think#hypocrisy of crowfeather defenders… but also i’m just like wait what do you mean people were actually condemning sandgorse?? i feel like the#‘you guys are getting paid??’ meme because Wow the side of the warriors fandom i was in must’ve sucked especially bad… I mean I already knew#that but i didn’t know it was even worse! i guess it makes me a bit happier knowing that people actually were and are acknowledging sandgors#as an abusive dad and that he sucks… but i also can’t help but feel bitter that i didn’t get to see people saw me and that sandgorse did in#fact suck until… basically now.
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Sailor Moon was already drawing me in but then it SMACKED ME IN THE FACE with a whole episode that said “fuck diet and weight loss culture and the toxic beauty standards they set for young girls” and DAMN now I HAVE to watch the rest don’t I????
#sailor moon#anime#90s anime#I mean I already knew Naoko Takeuchi put some social commentary into sailor moon but WOW#I am IMPRESSED#they lured people in with some fun whimsical episodes about usagi getting used to her new powers#and then BAM hit us with THAT#fantastic
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the pros of going to my grandmothers funeral/celebration of life tomorrow: closure or whatever. i dont really know ive only been to two funerals in my whole life and i dont fully get what im suppsed to feel and do there
the cons: i dont talk to literally anyone on my moms side of the family. i could follow my brother around but he's gonna be mostly around my mom, who i do not talk to for a thousand reasons. and my ex-neighbors who are very openly transphobic to me will be around her. and no one on her side of the family really Gets that im trans either so like it just all sucks. i will surely get emotional because y'know, and that means that i will be emotional in front of my mom, which is bad for me. all my cousins are weird around me because we were close as kids but now no one knows how to approach me because ive only gotten more awkward and more unable to verbally speak
#i was being so brave about it but then i accidentally ran into my mom in the store#and i was forced to talk to her#and now i am filled with so much dread and i really dont want to see her again#and the whole neighbors thing is so stressful bc like. they speak about trans issues (slash deragotory) in front of me#they purposefully misgender and deadname me#they try to poke at me because i cant rise back to say anything to them and so i guess maybe theyre trying to “its just a phase” me#or something idk#and i know if my dad knew this he would be understanding of me not wanting to spend anymore time there then necessary#but its so. embarassing i guess. how do i tell my dad that these people hate me for who i am#how do i tell my dad theyve talked about how theyd disown their child if they were trans very cruelly in front of me#i guess its not that embarassing because it makes me angry but i would also probably cry explaining it all#and then THAT would be embarassing#and it makes me feel soooooooooo isolated whenever im around family that i used to be close to#like wow. damn. i really am just not like the other girls (and by girls i mean just everyone)#idk. idk#also let it be known i know the part of funerals is also sharing stories and everything but i cannot speak to people#and i especially cannot do it when its about something emotional#they dont know that speaking verbally is already overwhelming so my emotions just become uncontrolled#uuurgghhghghh. idk#the misery
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TV Show Gif Tag Game
Thank you for tags, @lancedoncrimsonwings (here) and @frostysfrenzy (here). Gonna leave this one OPEN.
Rules: Without naming them, post 10 gifs of your favourite TV shows.
#wow the gif search on here is crap isn't it#i mean i already knew that because it's tumblr you know#but DAMN#mine#open tag#tag game#lancedoncrimsonwings#frostysfrenzy
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grey really fucked me up beyond belief i am SO insecure about relationships at this point
#i already had a disordered attachment style#like it was already there#he just made it worse somehow#like reinforced my fear of abandonment/vulnerability/relationships as a whole#like wow i really have been avoiding meaningful human connection all this time#and its obvious that my like#self confidence or whatever is mostly a front#i kind of only really know how to do either extreme#either intense self loathing or annoying arrogance#with grey it was always the former. maybe im compensating for all that time i spent hating myself#i mean i guess it kind of works#like genuinely being annoyingly self confident actually does kind of make you like yourself more#so thats something right#i dont know though i don't know if i even have the capacity to commit to other people#i'm scared is the thing. i gave every piece of me away before and got left with practically breadcrumbs of the person i used to be#i miss how carefree and easy it was for me to give my love away#my fear is that i will be so caught up in protecting myself that i can't give back to someone who loves me#i want to be loved and i want to be able to love but it feels like the part of me that knew how to love is long gone#loving someone used to feel good. now it just feels like a million blades in my chassis
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fearing death as a trans person hits different. if you died never coming out, changing your name or just doing whatever makes you feel happy with your body it will never be shown in your funeral and everyone will never know you as who you were inside. something about if you died and you DID come out, you did do everything that made you happy abt your body but the one relative in your family that didn't accept you had to fix up your funeral they misgender you and place the wrong name on your grave anyway. or if the relatives that did accept you fix up your funeral with the correct pronouns and name but those who didnt will still misgender and deadname you even when you die. idk man.
#not tagging w my tag.#some thoughts after i had a daily dinner discussion with my family. haha....#i know what my parents told me was to comfort me but i knew deep down that they'll never accept me.#something abt how they want me to be comforted with the knowledge that i can go to heaven bc i believe in god but i know when i say im tran#im going to hell bc it's a sin in their eyes. that's how they think.#i can identify as gay or whatever as long as i never act on it. i can be a man for myself but in front of other people i cant.#i heard my mom saying that abt my cousin. my cousin is trans too but they havent said a single thing bc they knew they wouldnt accept that.#theyre already a lesbian so adding being trans to that just makes their situation worse (in my parents eyes anyway)#hell. my mom wants my aunt to move here but also doesnt bc she doesnt want her to be able to marry her girlfriend. (bs if you ask me)#my mom's glad as hell that my aunt loves her dogs a lot bc that means she cant move here. my uncle can tho bc he isnt poor and gay.#im sorry for the sudden negativity wow just. thoughts.#when im gonna graduate from highschool here i can get a jacket that says my name. i hope and pray that i can put “toffee” or even “crow”
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it’s funny because my mom has this shitty mentality where she thinks because she has been through so much and has chronic pain and health problems that everyone should just be nice to her and do everything she requests. but like. the lady is fine. like absolutely she has been through so much and does indeed struggle with her health and deserves patience and kindness, but like. in reference to me? when i get too stressed my body literally tries to end it all. i will throw up so violently and for so long i can tear my stomach open. but no, i’m the one who should be dancing around her, obviously.
#i have been really sick and i forgot her birthday a few days ago#and please note i have NEVER done that before#and it was because i just never looked at the date!#i just moved into a new apartment#my sister in law visited#and now i am so so so sick#on top of being chronically sick and having all of that flare because of the virus#but of course#my stepfather had to be an asshole about it and get manipulative#so now i am just. afraid#i feel like i can’t talk to them#or not talk to them#i am just frozen#and angry#and filled with guilt over something i truly would never mean to do#and i feel really bad because i love her so much and with the birthdays she’s had in the past it sucks i didn’t say anything#until the next day#i did apologize profusely and send her a sweet message#but it really doesn’t feel like anything is enough for them#it just sucks. i wish he could have just been normal about it.#like oh wow it’s already 8PM on my wife’s birthday but we haven’t heard from our kid#maybe i should check in because she has been SUPER FUCKING BUSY and make sure she messages her mom!#instead of telling me how easy it is to send a text and how hurt and disappointed he was#like. dog. be fucking proactive or be kind#no actually just be fucking kind#it was so fucking frustrating. it’s like he assumed i knew what day it was and i just didn’t care#that is my fucking mom!!!!!#of course i care!!! her birthday was on the 30th and i am still racked with guilt!!!!#and these people gave me a fucking personality disorder!!!#my feelings are complicated and my rage is endless
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Man in the grand scheme of things the Triassic was just like fucked huh
#i mean i knew this already kinda but I'm reading some papers for class and it's just. wow. sucked to be life in the triassic huh#megan.txt
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.
#livetweeting bridgerton s3#LIKE#hes a young man of means traveling abroad without /any/ kind of older male family member or chaperone#OF COURSE hes 'sampling' the continent#GIRL#YOURE READING THE SMUT HE WROTE ABOUT HIS 'TRAVELS' BE SO FUCKING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️#(and as a writer and a girl and a girl whos interested in him youre enjoying that a Leetle Too Much)#of /course/ he catches her 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️#this is /so bad/ 😭#theyre having their beauty and the beast moment *gag*#🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#'mr dankworth you are so...pretty#(but youre just not that smart)#(these poor boys to have her as a mil 😂😂😂)#his horse died 🤣😭🤣😭 oh /no/ (colin its not funny tho is it)#god/dammnit/ eloise#CRESSIDAS GONNA USE THAT TO HUMILIATE OR RUIN PEN#SHUT YOUR MOUTH#im glad the mondrich's have friends in to ton#poor benedict tho 😂😅#oh foR FUCKS SAKE#i KNEW LADY FEATHERINGTON SHOULD HAVE USED FINGERPUPPETS 😂😂😭😂😂😭#😮 cressida actually keeping confidence? wow (tentative)#goddamnit eloise#you were over/heard/ thi#oop 😬#the mondrichs are going to be my fave part of this season i can already tell 😅#aw pen#poor thing#you /know/ you gotta drag yourself now. itll look hella sus if you dont
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So, how would one block out any and all Leafs discourse that happens to pop up on their Facebook feed for the next...oh...3-5 games minimum?
Asking for a friend...
#ive already had the misfortune of seeing some of it this morning and WOW people REALLY hate the leafs#i mean we already knew this but you'd think that mo actually murdered a man last night the way they're talking about it#im just tired and dont want to see it#toronto maple leafs#morgan rielly
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the worst but also the best part about learning languages is when you reach the point where you are constantly aware that the people you talk to and the media you consume are all making cultural references that you simply do not get so all of a sudden you’re like goddamn it i need to read every piece of classic italian literature ever now
#one of the profs was telling me how her translation class decided that leopardi was 'emo' and i was like wow this would be so funny if i#knew literally anything about giacomo leopardi besides the fact that he supposedly ate a kilo and a half of confetti before dying#(thank you that one tumblr post)#but also the part of my brain that's like 'you need to consume those works In Italian' makes this difficult because i simply cannot do that#yet#arugujhakshjdhajahjfasjhfewkrjht#she speaks.l#this happened w spanish too but like. As i was taking a spanish literature class? so i already started to read stuff that's regularly#references & then just kind of continued to read stuff naturally#except sometimes i read literature from a specific country and i'm like sooooo i need to read all of your canonical writers now#reading mariana enriquez like oh so i need to read piglia reading piglia like oh so i need to read borges and arlt reading arlt like oh so#i need to read macedonio fernández#etc etc etc etc#well really reading borges --> fernández. whatever#aaaaaaaa. girls when the wealth of knowledge and literature within the world is overwhelming and wonderful but they will never get to know#it all :(#also this is like. the fact that there's so much just within spanish language literature. can u imagine the depth of also arabic literature#etc etc#i mean like i am sure you can. that was weird phrasing.#BECAUSE ALSO THEN IT'S LIKE. there is so much that is wonderful outside of the 'canon' of well known writers BUT I CAN'T READ IT ALL SO....
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