#theyre already a lesbian so adding being trans to that just makes their situation worse (in my parents eyes anyway) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

caramelmochacrow · 8 months ago

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fearing death as a trans person hits different. if you died never coming out, changing your name or just doing whatever makes you feel happy with your body it will never be shown in your funeral and everyone will never know you as who you were inside. something about if you died and you DID come out, you did do everything that made you happy abt your body but the one relative in your family that didn't accept you had to fix up your funeral they misgender you and place the wrong name on your grave anyway. or if the relatives that did accept you fix up your funeral with the correct pronouns and name but those who didnt will still misgender and deadname you even when you die. idk man.

#not tagging w my tag.#some thoughts after i had a daily dinner discussion with my family. haha....#i know what my parents told me was to comfort me but i knew deep down that they'll never accept me.#something abt how they want me to be comforted with the knowledge that i can go to heaven bc i believe in god but i know when i say im tran #im going to hell bc it's a sin in their eyes. that's how they think.#i can identify as gay or whatever as long as i never act on it. i can be a man for myself but in front of other people i cant.#i heard my mom saying that abt my cousin. my cousin is trans too but they havent said a single thing bc they knew they wouldnt accept that.#theyre already a lesbian so adding being trans to that just makes their situation worse (in my parents eyes anyway)#hell. my mom wants my aunt to move here but also doesnt bc she doesnt want her to be able to marry her girlfriend. (bs if you ask me)#my mom's glad as hell that my aunt loves her dogs a lot bc that means she cant move here. my uncle can tho bc he isnt poor and gay.#im sorry for the sudden negativity wow just. thoughts.#when im gonna graduate from highschool here i can get a jacket that says my name. i hope and pray that i can put “toffee” or even “crow”

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