#i love to ramble too much unfortunately

[anthomaniacs]

at the heart of narcissa malfoy was a black, rotten selfishness. she had always known this: narcissa was vain and fearful and paranoiac — a galore of gore. but prettiness masked her well. she had been raised a member of the noble and most ancient house of black, had learnt how to conceal the sticky rot that coated her lungs, the gaunt jutting of bones against skin. she had learnt how to lie. she had learnt how to survive.

when narcissa malfoy looked the dark lord in the eyes and told him that harry potter was dead, she did not lie from the goodness of her heart. she'd been cold and she'd been aching, the fire out in her gut, and the only thing she'd thought about was draco, who was in the castle, who was alive. at that moment, harry potter had been nothing but a weapon she'd been prepared to use.

if narcissa had gotten the mark, she would have been as much a death eater as lucius, and she would have been as much a death eater as bellatrix. narcissa malfoy deserved azkaban. but harry potter, who was as righteous and incandescent as his parents ( whom she'd known by name & reputation, of course, but never by face ), had helped to acquit her. it was something she doubted she would've done for him if the roles were reversed, and it left narcissa with a strange guilt that glazed her throat like phlegm.

when a knock sounded at her door, narcissa rose slowly from her seat at the dining table like a bride of hades. moonbeam fingers reached for the doorknob and at the entrance, as precise and noble as ever, stood harry potter. she smiled, but coldly.

"hello again, auror potter." there was no more bite to narcissa's voice, only defeat. "would you like to come in for tea?"

lucius was in his office, and what a funny thing it was that even now, narcissa could not help but play hostess. as if she had any sort of social standing left anymore. for so many years she'd moved through life alone, so the icy loneliness that coiled in her chest now really ought to have no place there.

silently, she led harry back to the dining hall, where the hearth had died down to a red, flickering nest of baby phoenixes. malfoy manor was cold and dark from disuse, almost gothic in appearance without the bright company of family relatives and acquaintances. with pale, phantom fingers, narcissa poured lukewarm tea into a porcelain cup and then placed it stiffly in front of her son's old arch-nemesis.

"here," she said, forcing a lightness to her tone, as if harry potter was welcome here, as if he belonged. "how is everything — how is everything outside?"

@thechosengryffindor

[xxplastic-cubexx]

if i said i picked up this issue for anything but drunk erik i fear i'd be lying

(Wolverine (2020) #3)

[smallblueandloud]

last post of the night. there's an incredible btvs au for star wars where luke is the slayer and leia is his normal sister from the big city. and that's great, you know, it's an excellent fic. but i've been thinking about how i would partition the au roles and i think my version looks like this:

luke and leia were infant children of [whatever the fuck anakin was mixed up in]. so the watcher council split them up. they sent luke to live in the middle of nowhere with his aunt and uncle, and leia to live in a quiet town that happened to be on the hellmouth. both of them have assigned watchers from then on -- luke's is crazy old ben from out by the edge of town, and leia's is actually her adoptive father.

when it comes time, leia is Called and becomes the slayer. she does great at this for a few years... until [demonic versions of tarkin/vader/death star] arise and they're too much for her to defeat. the ensuing backlash is enough to kill both of leia's parents -- and also leia herself, at least until the paramedics are able to revive her. she's dead for long enough that another slayer gets Called, and woah, what are the odds, it's small-town farmer luke skywalker.

luke keeps having these strange dreams about a girl in white -- and obi-wan doesn't like the idea of an unguarded hellmouth -- so they convince beru and lars that they Have to move to sunnydale. just to fully fulfill luke's duties as the slayer. obi-wan also wants to investigate whatever killed the previous slayer.

one problem: the previous slayer is alive, recently orphaned, pissed as fuck, and VERY displeased to discover that a new-in-town blonde kid, know-it-all english watcher, and two sketchy guys they hitchhiked into town with are all planning on fighting the same enemies that she is.

[eternally-tired-cryptid]

Y'all would not believe the situations I can put ocs in. Rotate them in my brain microwave.

[cheriekos]

god forbid you get into a loser competition with me because last night i saw the words “bruce wayne” and “retired” in the same sentence and started weeping

[a-sketchy]

a persona inspired ttrpg would fuck so hard

[munchboxart]

It's midnight so I'm gonna ramble again but about animation/cartoons as a whole included with my lack of knowledge about the industry

A few weeks ago, I remember watching some video about Cartoon Network or something and the guy doing the essay mentioned something like "With the rise of streaming and online as a whole, there is a loss of connection with parents and their kids because back then, you could watch the same cartoon with your kids and recognize who that is". They absolutely did not say those exact words but something along the lines of it, and it's stuck to me for days because it's true! Like I don't think kids nowadays have that kind of connection other than theatrical kids movies, which sucks I think moments like these are precious to have.

Another thing is that I think people kind of underestimate how popular cartoon/2d/3d shows are with adults? Especially young adults because the people who grew up with like, 1990s-2010s shows are probably mostly grown adults now. Probably the best recent example of this is Adventure time and how (I think) big Fionna and Cake is. Like I could go on Twitter and be spoiled hell and back on the newest episodes LOL. How about Owl House and Infinity Train? Bluuey too?? I don't know, but with the writers strike and how swept under the rug animation is, especially on streaming, it just kind of sucks where the current state of animation is right now for everyone as a whole

[donaviolet]

Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps

[storm-of-feathers]

damn why did i stop being an alcoholic being drunk rules actually i dont feel a single OUNCE of my burdens. i just feel the wine. and its pink.

[disruptivevoib]

as someone new to the cccc fandom i keep seeing all of these AUs of HMS with different names and I want to look into them more but it seems like theres a lot. got any sort of starting guide or direction if ur willing to share it?

OH god. no I do not unfortunately. I can't say there is any big directory. I know CJFS has AU threads, CJFS being the fan discord server.

As for my aus, I do try to use tags of names of each of my aus! Like sun down or eleutheromania or lacuna or swap! But for others. I can't say whether or not its the case?

If I had a bit more time tonight I'd go through and find all the big long rambly posts I've made but there are quite a few!

I know ones under the cjverse or cjverse chatroom tag are also from an rp I'm in which may have stuff from other people too.

Sorry to not be of much help here anon

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[todayisafridaynight]

[sskk-manifesto]

♡

[quietwingsinthesky]

sometimes i think about my spn oc and how i rewrote everything about amara to interact with the story i was trying to tell about her. there were some really neat ideas in that i need to recycle for something one day. like, in the show proper, they just let amara take over a human baby and that’s fine, but amara’s not Meant To Be Here. this entire universe is one constructed in her absence. saying she can possess a human body should be like saying if you took a person and sent them to a universe where 1+1=3, they could just figure out how to function within that.

which in story took the form of Amara being something that could not be Understood, only Rationalized. a force locked outside the narrative who could only get inside and destroy things if given a role within it. by the Winchesters as A Monster To Face. by Chuck as Wayward, Unreachable Sister. and by miss oc as. simultaneously a projected creature to be saved, an amalgamation of injustices done to herself (and others) that would never be righted but could be made up for by being a part of this. and as something impossibly powerful that could be both protection and purpose.

and the Darkness wasn’t any of those things, really, but to have agency in her own story required new shackles, but ones she was always straining against. she wouldn’t fit inside the confines of a human mind, let alone a body, at least not well enough to leave it Intact. like lucifer burning through nick, but Worse. because the burns were an expected outcome of skin not strong enough to hold him. humans were built for angels, some were built better and some worse, but they’re meant to work. putting amara in human skin should disconnect the skin and mind and soul from the reality her brother built itself, i think. slowly. bit by bit.

and at the same time, i’d gone and written the kind of wild scenario you really can only write for your thirteen year old mary sue, given that spn oc the part of herald/high priestess/failed vessel. which she pursued with wild abandon like that would fix anything wrong with her <3

in the end, running alongside the borrowed family theming of the original show was my own theme of “how much self-annihilation will you accept to make your point. are you accepting it, really. or are you seeking it.” not just physically, in letting something unmake the base components of what you are as it tries to fit inside you or in it constricting and suffocating itself beyond self-recognition to get inside in the first place, but, obviously, it’s supernatural, how much selfhood do you cede to your family. is it worth it.

it was interesting, if nothing else. let thirteen year old me cook. she had ideas.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

I feel like if I ever actually talked about the terror with people, the conversations would be profoundly unhinged.

[waterfall-ambience]

is 'fit of divine madness that makes you do something horrible' (a la heracles murdering his wife and children) still an acceptable story beat or is that too much of the hand of the author showing? real question because i need to sort out how damien's banishment plays out