#i love this stupid autistic man
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I'm rewatching the disastrous life of saiki k
#i love this stupid autistic man#his AroAce-ness has captivated me#hes so me#behold my autism!#saiki k#saiki k fanart#tdlosk#saiki fanart#saiki no psi nan#saiki kusuo#fem! saiki#kusuke x makoto#those bitches gay#saiki is a hater
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Gordon in the show Gotham, holding Bruce and Selena: I've only known them for a day but if anything happens to these kids I'm killing everyone here and then myself
#gotham#james gordon#bruce wayne#selena kyle#this is directed at harvey dent after he accidentally got assassins going after Selena#i love you harvey but from the absolute bottom of my heart! fuck you man! that was so stupid!#all of you should go watch gotham its SO GOOD#its penguin is legit the best ive ever seen#RIDDLER IS CANON AUTISTIC YALL AND HES DONE SO FUCKING WELL#selena and bruce are such adorable friends i love them sm#batman#catwoman#commissioner gordon#dc#gotham tv
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opinion on jade leech
I lovehim 😨
#HES SO CUTE#I can’t#ggrgrgrgrgrgrr#I need to put him in the microwave and watch him spin!!??! :3#he’s so cutie I need to kiss his stupid dumb face#Autism be damned my boy can forage#i love that autistic man#Hits him with bricks hits him with bricks hits#I’d let him eat a chunk of my flesh if he wanted#is that too much#maybe#It would just be regular couple activities tbh#☕️!- clove speaks#like martha speaks
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More than anything right now I wish I had somebody to turn to. I wish I could cry to my parents about this or get a hug from somebody or just have SOMEONE believe me and he on my side. I really don’t know how to continue on from here
#looking at any re content rn makes me feel so sick#which has been my worst fuckimg nightmare#like I’ve had panic attacks over this idea kinda worst nightmare#my absolutely biggest nightmare has been that skmething horrible will happen in this fandom that’ll make my stupid autistic brain associate#re with that horrible experience#and that’s exactly what’s happening#my biggest fear is coming to fruition and it’s so so fucking awful#Luis has meant more to me than any other autistic special interest of mine evr has. and just the THOUGHT of loosing that love and devotion#makes me sick to my stomach.#why did these people do this to me#why me#what the fuck did I ever do to them#what did I do to deserve this#I want this to be so fucking over#I wanna go back to shaking my friends over Luis and pretend this never happened#I just want a hug from my parents or someyjing man. I wanna be told it’ll be alright and this shit will be done with#just#what the fuck did I do to deserve this man
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Look, I’m a slut for fictional men and fey princes, but it is now just frankly embarrassing to admit that I am in love with a figment of someone else’s imagination called ‘Wendel Bambleby’, of all things. Like that is crossing some kind of line.
#currently reading#emily wilde's encyclopedia of faeries#heather fawcett#i finished this book two days ago and i am not sane or normal about any of it#i am in love with one (1) man#a malewife who eschews manual labour yet sews and tailors all his autistic girlfriend's clothes#cleans her house and fills it with cosy trinkets#who drafts her conference papers for her while she's busy being kidnapped#in between planning assaults to infiltrate the castle and rescue her#and proposes marriage before they've ever even kissed#but i'm not HAPPY about it.#because of this stupid fucking name#booklr
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you ever scroll past some sort of discourse that you didn't even know existed, and you have to take a second and realize that, while none of us are superior to others, some of us ARE much better at choosing which dumbass hills to die on? because I think sometimes you deserve to go 'huh. at least I'm not getting involved in all that'.
#well idk i'm still wasting time typing this out but that's marginally less embarrassing as an outsider than the people arguing about it#tw abuse mention in tags#so APPARENTLY!!!#enneagram mbti people are complaining about enneagram 7s being predisposed to being manipulative (?)#someone's like 'my sister was a 7w8 and neglects her kids' like jesus christ i don't think her enneagram is why she does that?#saying this as someone who LOOSELY AND UNSERIOUSLY enjoys mbti/zodiac/boxes to put my blorbos into:#these people are just doing the zodiac but for people who think they can armchair diagnose others they dislike with cluster b disorders#like congrats you made it worse and combined it with pseudopsychology to make some hellish ableism amalgamation#and it was already stupid to begin with but man you really took it up to 100#like we do realize that this is all fake. right. this isn't an actual psychological profile.#and taking it seriously has worrying implications? and you cannot judge someone based on anything but their behavior?#like again i get having fun with these things as little categories. my autistic ass loves sorting things into categories.#i will give my blorbos full star charts for 6 hours. yay categories.#but with the caveat that it's unserious and for funsies and not at all an actual representation of any human being?#like when i say 'i'm such a taurus lol' or whatever i'm not actually under the impression that it dictates my actual personality?#it's all confirmation bias anyways. people see what they want out of this kind of thing#like yeah i'm kinda lazy and i like food and self indulgence but. that's probably like half of the. idk. virgo population or whatever too#i think those are just things that most human people enjoy unless you're one of those super ambitious go-getters who never slows down#same goes for every other trait. curiosity? emotion? stubbornness? logic? those are just things that most people have in some capacity
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genuinely i love odo's saggy wrinkly neck. i know that's just how rene auberjonois' neck was but i love the implication that odo worked so hard trying to perfect his humanoid shape and made the conscious decision that he wanted a really saggy neck. not even dr. mora, whose appearance odo used as a guide, has a neck that saggy. like i think it's kinda cute of him to Want to look old
#like we even see that as he gets better at shapeshifting he adds some wrinkles to his face#and in children of time (awful horrible stupid episode that i skip on every rewatch) his future self looked like a full on old dude#this autistic blob of slime is old man kin but in a canonically genderless way and i love that
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detective comics #484
[ID: college aged Dick Grayson, in his Robin costume, talking to Mr. Haly (the circus owner) after preventing a tragedy from occuring. Dick worriedly asks, “But what will you do now, Mr. Haly? With the damage caused by the fire you might have to sell out...” Mr. Haly reassures, “No, my boy, because for years I've been recoevin these checks — anonymously! Thanks to them, the Haly Circus will remain in my control!” He shows Dick the check, who instantly recognizes it! He thinks, ‘Hmmmm, that check comes from a bank where a certain Bruce (Batman) Wayne is a heavy depositor... What do you know!’ He tells Haly, “Well, you're still on top, Mr. Haly — and I have places to go!” END ID]
#OUGH LOVE THE IDEA OF BRUCE ANONYMOUSLY SUPPORTING AND FUNDING THE CIRCUS BECAUSE ITS IMPORTANT TO DICK....#i think bruce is the type of autistic to hesitate in saying vocally how much he cares because its difficult to find the right words and his#fear of saying the wrong thing (and how he puts his foot in his mouth often which furthers those fears) and it can be damaging because#people wrongfully take his more quiet nature as not caring. but just how his actions show time and time again how much he cares and loves..#from silently supporting the circus without even telling dick to his frequent anonymous donations to charities to his nightly paroles#like bruce is a character who loves so much that it can be destructive. that's what makes him so interesting.#he has the brains and logic and everything. he's called the worlds greatest detective for a reason. but his heart is what controls him#he KNOWS the risks he's taking every night and does it anyways. he KNOWS its a Sisyphus task to attempt to stop crine and protect everyone#he tries anyways. he KNOWS the possibility of some people rehabilitation and change is so low that it barely exists. yet he holds onto hope#anyways because theres still that small chance. its a man that isnt reckless because hes stupid or unaware of consequences#its a man that has plans upon plans and tries to be prepared because hes aware of the risks yet does things anyways#this is messy and unrelated to the panel itself i just got struck with a ‘god i love bruce wayne and his love language of silent actions’#c: detective comics | i: 484#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#<- cause he was mentioned :3#dick grayson#robin i#haly's circus
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Looove feeling like a fucking child whenever I talk to kids my age ebecause I always feel like I’m either talking about my toys or like they’re better than me because I spent a majority of my childhood trying to make myself just as smart as everyone else because I genuinely thought I was stupid and didn’t deserve to live
#I wasn’t stupid I was like 10#god it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t fucking talk to people#I make my voice sound to nice I make myself talk quiet I don’t know how to respond#I don’t want everyone to hear me so I practactly whisper I don’t even say hi I just nod or wave#I love being autistic this is just the one thing I hate abt it is how fucking different you are from everyone else#I think differently I know that I don’t know how to navigate smth like this I always make myself the dumber or the less knowing one#I make myself think I’m a manipulator because I try so constantly to make people like me by making myself look like a ‘nice person’ like how#an animal plays dead or shows its stomach to say ‘oh don’t kill me I’m not a threat haha you want me around’#my therapist said I should try looking into psychology collage or smth she said I’d be good at it#I just think about how I think too much#my grades are shit I don’t wanna be in college for 8 years because my teacher said I’d be good at a job#then again I think psychologists make a lot of money and that could help with the art stuff#like Helen Highwater being a lawyer and doing all this crazy art shit on the side#fuck man what the fuck am I doing goodnight
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Just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you and pre-emptively empathizing with the nonsense you are no doubt being flooded with and the psychic damage it must be causing. Keep stanning the king ignore the weirdos <3
thankg u.,, i feel like ive been trapped in a fuckign . Torture Labyrinth these past coupl days . but. wwe will. We Will Yet Persist onwards w/ our hand on the left wall till we;re either out or at the center i swear 2 fucking GOD,
#talking tag#asks#th pain is forever the Horrors r unending the lack of media comprehension on all sides is Disappointin But Also My Goddamn Life I Guess lol#though i will say ppl in my inbox have actually been.. surprisingly polite overall? if not outright rather kind as a whole. um. post-atsv.#but. god. i have not Talked About so much of that movie because i kind of just.#..ok actually i realize this is gonna sound rude as hell lmao. but. hhaha i Kinda Just. was fool enough to Assume that everbody would yknow#like. Comprehend The Film yk yk yk. since it is a well-written movie that doesnt try to Hide any of what it;s abt? yk?#i come On Here onto tumblr dot bumblr and i make my stupid esoteric gddamn complaints abt 2099 Themes for Me Only so my head doesnt blow up#n silly ol me i really do like earnestly honestly in my Heart think. like. we all saw the same movie. right? mayb thingsll calm down.#but oh oh oh oh oh no no no No No. they do Not calm down they get So Much Worse.#and now hypothetical Internet Strangers might be Passing Judgement bcuz we look like an Apologist 4 assuming Everyone Knew Media Literacy#CHRIST. do people think i think mig was. like. In The Right. in atsv. no ive known he would be Wrong for years dudes.#why do yall think i was so low-key Disappointed he was placed in a role that couldve better suited. like. Superior Spider-Man.#public image. DING-DONGs. man he is Never Going To Be In Movies Again After This Hes An AU SPIDER-MAN FROM THE 90S. LORD!#i had SO MUCH FUN watching atsv!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont like the choices it made to put miguel in the situation that it did. Bizarre Thematic Changes to 2099 that Only I Care Abt. but like#that is SUCH a fuckin SMALL and insanely autistic nitpick like i earnestly loved the hell out of the film and its mig is--#--Earnestly One Of His Better/Best Adaptations despite bein within the limited confines of th plot nd setting he is In & w/o his inner mono#..i just. Hate So Much That This Movies Version Of Miguel Will Be The Only One That Anybody Knows For The Next Seven Years At Least. yknow.#i lov watching that fuckers trainwreck of a slowmotion mental breakdown for two hours but the movie gave practically Zero Context 2 newbies#BTSV please save me BTSV please save me BTSV PLEASE save me PLEASE please please please PLEASE BTSV youre my last hope....#(arthur clenching his fist meme) ppl r Already so shitty 2 ppl w/ Messy Symtptoms i could Handle losing MK but SM2099 means too much 2 me..
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that thread i rbed like ages ago about men's urge to disagree/object to/obstruct women for no reason has seriously reset my brain its so crazy but i think actually one of the rare things that actually might represent a way forward for how men engage with women. like there's always going to be the rightwing ardent misogynists who don't care that they're doing this but for all the men in the middle that do on some level want to be better it represents 1. fairly confronting evidence that your position in the patriarchy actually affects how you relate to women much more than you realise it does even if you think of yourself as self-aware and 2. a genuine example of something that makes us all suffer because the fact you niggle on every single issue like what flavour of ice cream to buy is unhealthy for relationships (of any kind) AND introduces unnecessary amount of background strain to your life for no real gain. maybe im being an idealist but i love the idea of a man experiencing a certain amount of horror upon recognition of this as a catalyst to other more meaningful recognitions and changes both in how he evaluates the competence of women but also in recognition of the subjectivity of he perceives things i.e i think one of the biggest barriers to confronting the housework gap is often that men don't SEE how much women are doing and also don't SEE things that need to be done, to the extent that ive seen men argue that the solution is just for women to not care about being surrounded by mess. anyway no conclusion but i cant stop thinking about that thread both super horrifyingand also kind of hopeful
#i absolutely think it applies to other forms of marginalisation as well#but can take different forms e.g a man assuming he will make better choices than his wife even about something really minor and stupid#vs an abled person assuming they have more insight on a disabled persons' experienes/condition#but i think its the same fundamental urge going on#but yeah like personally i find disagreeing with ppl really unpleasant when it builds up that its like you need to pick your battles for#when it matters. of course you can go to far and avoid conflict but like as a perfectionist autist i have to constantly address my tendency#to like. get annoyed about someone pouring milk wrong or something. like even when they are actually wrong. sometimes it doesnt matter.#and i think the fact that this is how you treat people you LOVE and in many cases would probably say you respect#should make it liek especially wounding to realise#i also dont think women are immune to this behaviour as i said above and after all we pick up communication habits from the people we#communicate with. but i think it stems from patriarchy in pretty much all its iterations#and theres also an answering affect women can develop where you just shut down and learn to give in on every issue/devote your energy to#avoidit coming up in the first place#like you stop saying what flavour of ice cream you want at all. which i think is the end goal of this behaviour whether thats actually what#the person doing it desires or not thats what it seeks to achieve
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ignore this post I’m venting my disappointment in the tags abt twitter LMFAOOO
#dude do you have any idea how fucking awful it feels to go on a social media site and have your favourite character just be constantly#shit on? like I’ve gotten attached in an autistic way to this fucker and now it’s legitimately made my mental health for the past few days#TANK. I used to go on twitter and see people be normal instead of being bombarded with hatred from every angle#and not to get me started on the fact that bad refuses to fucking say anything#like okay man! just let the hatred fester and let people who actually liked you turn on you because you made a stupid ass decision#it’s literally just a hostile fucking environment on one end and the other is in radio silence#im still so attached and I fucking hate it#I hate the motherfuckers on twitter and I hate bad being so goddamn silent#I hate the people defending him in places where he’s wrong and I hate the people who take every chance to twist his words#I love my mutuals who are sensible people#but I cannot fucking stand everything else#and sorry for being so upset when im shamed out of a special interest and what used to be a safe place for me#you motherfuckers have EVERYTHING. you have the numbers. the popular ships. you have people who will defend you#literally cannot have shit in this place#our fav is treated like shit and yours is praised to the high heavens#in and out of game he’s constantly fucking disrespected#can you even imagine how that feels to someone who gets so attached to a character and his dynamic that it influences their mental state#or is it just easier to play the Saint who is never wrong and will never be#I fucking hate what bad did and I’m disgusted that he’s still friends with that fucker#and I am still attached to his character and story#the shame is legitimately overwhelming#fuck it all. really and truly#and most of all fuck qsmptwt I cannot stand you motherfuckers#my mutuals and oomfs are obviously exempt from previous statement
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ive been vaguely wondering if im autistic for like the past year or more but now that i have a job i feel even less motivation to go and get a diagnosis bc whatevers up with me if anything is obviously not something that prevents me from like working and stuff so i dont critically Need to know. so like whatever i guess. neither confirming nor unconfirming the allegations but an ambiguous third thing.
#i took one of those stupid multi choice tests and it said borderline i think#but the questions were so dumb.#i would rather go to a museum than a theatre .agree strongly agree a bit disagree a bit disagree strongly .#..like. idk man. just sort of felt a bit every autistic person is a dude that is quiet and loves trains. You know#well whatever#i feel like i do exhibit some behaviours and symptoms common in autism but then i dont exhibit others#migjt be might not be.one of lifes beautiful mysteries#no im joking if i felt like i really did want to know i would go and find out ...but rn i cant be arsed quite frankly#i dont know why im posting this like 5 minutes before i go to sleep but ok
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theres nothing i want more than for an older millennial couple to adopt me and my boyfriend i want to be friends with two millennials so badly
#imagine theres a couple who are in their early 30s#the man is a techbro but not in the annoying cryptofascist way just in the i work in the tech industry way#and the lady is a quirked up autistic housewife who obsesses over video game franchises and has 100 ocs#and they have that cringeworthy yet oddly charming millennial humor to them where theyre always using reddit catchphrases#fucked around and found out!#play stupid games win stupid prizes!#ERMAGERD!#that kinda stuff#and we'd have dinners at each others houses#but mostly the millennial couple's house cuz they actually own their own house and we're just renters#they could tell us about idk their animal crossing island and what episode of friends they're rewatching#and we could tell them about the intricacies of the plot of one piece and what new skins we got in fortnite#and we'd all be slightly confused about the other's interests but we'd still respect our love for nerdy shit#and whenever we take selfies they post the pictures to their facebook because to them facebook is still a viable form of social media#and the captions are like 'babysitting these dweebs!!' to poke fun at the slight age difference#and me and bf would make comments like 'i'm gonna put you in a nursing home soon' in retaliation#and we'd have a cool discord server where we play minecraft together. because that is the one thing all generations can agree on#which is that discord and minecraft are just kinda epic#that's all i want. is that so wrong
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ugh
#eli.txt#having thoughts. mainly abt how like. most ppl in my life who arent in my friend group probably wont believe me if i say im trans#since im pretty fem presenting most of the time and i like it that way but they wouldnt Get It#my family sure as fuck wouldnt get it. my mom wouldnt get it. no one would get it theyd probably think im lying for attention#they tend to think i do that like when i said 'hey i think im autistic' a lot of my relatives and family friends straight up said i was lyin#i dont want to like. never come out. at least my mom deserves to know and i want her to know but when i think about how no one would Get It.#i just want to cry a little ngl. they dont fucking get it#im not going to sacrifice the way i like to look and act just to make people understand me better#bc. i know my mom wouldnt get it. but i know she loves me so much that she would try to get it.#there are people in my family i know wouldnt bother to try to get it if i was the most binary masc presenting trans guy in the world.#and i dont care to try to please them. they dont even have to ever know. its my mom that scares me#ive had. very few. discussions abt the genderisms with her. they never go well.#shout out to when i said i wanted a binder and my mom started crying. lol ✌#idk man i just. goddammit i wish i could just beam the way i interact w my gender into other peoples minds so they Get It but i cant do that#idk!!!!!! this is stupid#i just i am sad
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I'm just as bad as I am good.
The brighter the light, the darker the shadows.
I can accept you as you are.
That's why I want nothing to do with you. Why I'll never love you. Why I expect nothing more.
In these things, we're all alike: animals, humans, Gods, and monsters.
#voidpunk#trans#trans man#trans masc#love and hate#are not the same#let them have texas#mass exodus of blue to blue states and red to red#reverse rapture#queer#autistic#cptsd#tired of the stupid bullshit#i have a lot of love to give#just never find someone that worthy of it#everyone is broken#but we do what we can#put gold in the cracks that make us more#i forget what it's called off the top of my head#person of color#sick and tired#i want this world to end#so we can live in startrek like solarpunk#with magic
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