#i love the concept and rawness of it but at the same time i relate to the opinion that its a filler album to cement your place

[targarrus]

people's champignon

[blaithnne]

I think my one complaint about Anders is that I wish we’d seen him leave of his own accord at least once. Unfortunately I doubt that would be possible due to time constraints but, I think if we’d gotten to see how Hilda was affected by him actually leaving and not being fairynapped it would have better shown what kind of person he is, and been a really good representation of what a lot of real kids go through. That moment where Hilda finally realised her Father abandoned her is so heartbreaking, raw, and real, and the fact that it’s later revealed he didn’t kind of undermines that.

I’m not against Anders changing for the better - it’s a kids show, and it makes sense they’d want to give him a character arch instead of just introducing him to be a dick lol. It also makes sense for his character to have nearly losing his entire family forever be a wake up call for him. But I wish we’d gotten more time with him, and really seen the effects of him leaving for real. Without that, we can generally assume that it had the same effect as him being kidnapped did in canon, but it’s just not the same.

I’m of the opinion that introducing Hilda’s dad as a concept was a good decision, and I don’t think it undermines the shows found family. It gives Hilda a relatable and realistic aspect to her that I think is important for kids in similar situations to see. I am, however, very biased in that regard.

My biological father was an asshole who fucked off before I was born, but I’ve had no absence of family or fatherly role models - I’m very close with my adoptive dad and my grandad. But that didn’t mean I never had questions, or insecurities.

It’s easy to look at fictional tropes and say that found family is clearly superior and biology doesn’t mean shit, and that’s true! But when you’re living in that reality, when you’re young and coming to terms with it for the first time, it’s hard. Especially when you’re surrounded by people who all have blood relations with their families, and when the person you’re related to is regarded as a dick. it really makes you feel isolated and like there’s something wrong with you, like you’re an outsider — you’re different.

Real life people are messy and have insecurities that defy reason, you might logically know that biology doesn’t matter, but when you’re thirteen and insecure and full of inner turmoil, you can’t help but feel bad.

Personally, as I got older, I met people in similar situations and realised I wasn’t alone, that it was okay to have those feelings but it didn’t make them true. But at that age, having grown up in a rural community, I really was alone.

Hilda’s insecurities in season 3 are a great representation of that, she feels like she’s never had a proper family, this thing with Frida, David, Tontu, Alfur and Johanna and Astrid is all new to her. You can tell her Father’s absence has hurt her, how she’s felt different and alone and like something was missing. Hilda defines her worth through her relationships with others, how she can help them make them happy, it destroyed her when she felt like she failed Frida, imagine how she feels about her father.

What I think season 3 was missing was for Hilda to realise that she doesn’t need Anders, and that her happiness isn’t reliant on him being there, I wish she’d had a tad more agency in the relationship, yk? She wants him to be in her life, and he’s going to make an effort now to do that, but she has a support system in place and will be perfectly fine without him. I wish the show had properly acknowledged that just because this is how things ended up, it wasn’t the only option — with or without Anders, Hilda would still have been happy with her family in the end, the fact that he’s a part of it is a nice bonus, but not an essential one.

In general, I think Anders is the best they could do with the time they were given. Having him be a realistic shitty dad who loves his daughter but is just so bad at it is relatable and realistic, though I wish they’d better emphasised that just because he loves hers that doesn’t make his actions okay (perhaps by slightly altering Johanna’s moment with Hilda at the end of The Job), because it’s clear, I think, as a diehard fan, but might not be for more casual viewers.

Having him be redeemable and stick around to do better is a good conclusion for his arch, it’s a happy ending all around and makes sense for the story - it could’ve been weird if they just had him show up and then immediately leave with zero resolution to his character, unless they made him an all out irredeemable abuser, which I think would’ve been worse than what we got. Portraying abusers as unforgivable and cartoonish villains only makes it harder for real life victims to recognise their situations, so if it couldn’t be portrayed properly (which thanks to time constraints and the overall narrative I don’t believe it could be) I’m glad they went with something else.

What we’ve got is, and I know I’ve said this many times lol, a realistic depiction of a crappy, absentee father, that young viewers can recognise and relate to. On that end, the biggest issues are Hilda’s lack of agency within their storyline, since she has no control in the resolution of their relationship, young people looking to this show for ways to cope with their own situations might be discouraged by the end resolution of “he decided to stick around”, since that resolution rests on his decision, not Hilda’s, if that makes sense.

TLDR; Overall, I think Anders’ was a good character and the best that could’ve been done with what the team was given, but,

A) I wish we’d gotten to see him leave of his own accord at least once, so that Hilda’s final realisation that he left her on purpose has more impact and doesn’t loose its meaning in retrospect, and,

B) That Hilda had more agency in the final resolution of their dynamic, that their happily ever after wasn’t entirely reliant on Anders swearing he won’t leave. An alternative solution, maybe presented earlier on in the season when he first left, that provided her with a coping mechanism/outlet in case he does, so that her happiness and mental health isn’t in his hands, would’ve been pretty neat.

[tracybirds]

It's nearing the end of the year and I'm thrilled to have finished up my little Thunderbirds Reading Challenge yesterday! It's been a whirlwind year with major lows but also some cherished highs and I'm still finding my feet a bit but we're getting there <3 I'm looking forward to 2025 and getting to dive into this world that I love once more!

I want to chatter about my thoughts on each book so I'll do that under the cut <3

Also this is my second year of making prompts for myself and I do plan on doing it again next year, so let me know if you want to be tagged in a post for that.

On to the books!

---

Thunderbird One: A book with silver lettering on the spine

My pick for this was A Zoologist's Guide To The Galaxy by Arik Kershenbaum. This was a book a biology teacher friend had recommended to me and so when I spotted it at the library and saw the silver lettering, it felt like it was meant to be and I snagged it! And I'm so glad she did tell me to read this one - I had so much fun dipping into the concepts and ideas this book presented. It was a really interesting way to explore key biological principals in the context of evolution on an alien world.

My favourite chapters were related to movement and communication, but there were so many fascinating tidbits of information and incredible solutions that life on Earth has come up with, that is gave me a whole new appreciation for the variation present on our own world!

This book has gone on my wishlist to purchase and I think everyone with an interest in natural sciences should check it out :D

Thunderbird Two: A book featuring a musician

For this I chose the appropriately named The Instrumentalist by Harriet Constable. This caught my eye as a new release and it was the setting that interested me most. The focus was on Venice, in the time period when Antonio Vivaldi was active, and that setting has some nostalgia for me as my family owned a CD audio drama set in the same period and place, designed to introduce children to Vivaldi's music. Not only that, but I was fortunate enough to visit Venice this year and so the environment was fresh in my mind.

This novel is based on Anna Maria della Pieta who was an orphan and violinist taught by Vivaldi. I've thought about this book a lot since I've read it - it's beautiful and the depictions of how music can consume you is truly stunning, but it's not a beautiful book, it's brutal and dark and doesn't shy away from the struggle that women in the time and place in which it's set. More than music, I think this book covered the soaring heights and despicable depths of what humanity can be, and demonstrates how easily one could become trapped by their circumstances.

As an aside, I did also cry when I read the author's acknowledgements at the end, they were absolutely stunning and I read them out loud to my friend and wow they hit home. I really enjoyed this one too <3

Thunderbird Three: A book you had to read in high school

I knew The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien would be the book I chose as soon as I wrote the prompt. I first read this book in my final year of high school as part of a study on short stories, and it was one of my first real exposures to the Vietnam War. I knew the bare bones of the conflict secondhand from friends who were studying history, I'd heard it mentioned a dozen times in TV and books, but in NZ when it came to military history we spent a lot more time discussing the events of Gallipoli and the ANZACs in WWI and of course the Holocaust in WWII (We can have a discussion another day about why we didn't even learn about the New Zealand Wars but whatever). So when I read it for the first time, I was struck by the raw brutality of it all, and it made a deep impact on me.

Now that I'm older, more than a decade on, I wanted to revisit it.

I know a lot of people who would want to analyse this book with a political framework, and I don't think it's wrong to do so, but I do think that if you do that you miss what this book is. The non-linear nature, the ruminating and revisions inherent in every story told, the oscillation between being blase and being horrifically scared and being alight with a monstrous rage and so on and so on and so on. It's a confronting novel and the way it meanders and feels so pointless at times was something I really struggled with this time around.

But then it's a story about drafted soldiers, trapped in a war they didn't choose and couldn't escape. What else could it have been?

Thunderbird Four: A book exploring somewhere new

The Apollo Missions: In the Astronaut's Own Words by Rod Pyle was not what I expected my pick to be. Even after I read it, I didn't immediately realise how well this fit the prompt. It's such a cool little nonfiction book, taking the transcripts of key points during each of the Apollo missions and pairing the astronauts' awe and wonder (and humour!) with photos from each of the missions was such a cool way to learn more about the goals, the successes and the failures faced in exploring the lunar surface for the first time.

It's such an incredible project that I still can't believe NASA achieved and I love learning more about it <3

(And from a Thunderbirds perspective... it was very fun to see some familiar names cropping up too!)

Thunderbird Five: A book featuring a non-organic lifeform

I won't lie, I 100% thought I was going to reread Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir for this one. But then, a book that had been sitting on my shelf for two years found its way into my suitcase when I went to Italy, and to my surprise it featured a non-organic lifeform! Kind of. I'm still not really sure what exactly the Fremda were...

I don't remember very much of this book to be honest. While the premise was interesting, I found the story got pretty bogged down fairly quickly and although it was fine and I enjoyed it enough to finish, I knew I wouldn't be continuing on with the series.

They can't all be winners I suppose ahaha

Anyway, that's my Thunderbirds Reading Challenge for 2024 all wrapped up! Hope you enjoyed a little foray into something different and once again let me know if you want to be tagged when I make the 2025 prompts <3

[childrenofcain-if]

Hi! I want to start by warning that this will probably be a long rant about how much i love your IFs. But first, I hope you feel better soon!

The first IF of yours i played was the pjo one, which sent me down a rabbit hole of going through the rest of them (still haven't played tcs but i will soon 🤞🏻). It was just BAFFLING how people could be so purposefully ignorant about the concept of fanfiction and accused you over and over of plagiarism like, please go outside and touch grass, clearly the internet has stopped your brain from developing critical thinking.

Anyways, the adaptation was so well done and faithful while also exuding a newness to it that i am very excited to see unravel. I understand at the moment it has been paused (and I don't know if you've addressed why it's no longer up) and i hope with time you can feel comfortable with it again. None of the shit you've gotten was deserved or even understandable but alas, it still happened. As a content creator myself, i truly truly sympathize with you. I hope these words offer some comfort, however small.

Same goes for WLB, but the awe at how descriptive and raw your writing is really peaked through in something of your own creation. I find myself revisiting it and experiencing the exhilaration from my first reading all over again. I can't wait to watch everyone around my mc descend into eldritch madness as they become more and more unhinged. Consequences of my own actions? Never heard of them, i want my mc to go apeshit!

Now, gods where do i start... TBOTYG is *chef's kiss* flawless, i never thought i could become so obsessed with anything with only one part. I awaited the demo with baited breath, already anticipating all the ways you would surprise and impress (and you did). Every choice, every scenario, the way you build your plot and characters, your descriptions (I don't know if you can tell that I'm a little too hung up on the writing aspect of it) of characters and actions and feelings. The amount of work and effort you put into characterization is so very clear and it feels very freeing to have that amount of control over a character that we're supposed to "relate" to (in the context of the narrative, almost as if living vicariously through them). i think that no matter how much time passes, your IFs will remain a staple in the community and every player who finds your gems will feel blessed and changed after playing.

It's gotten to the point I've created a whole google doc of my MC, and made fake ig accounts with interactions (just for myself, to cope with the anticipation) and this is a level of commitment I've only felt with my own OCs and works. In such a short time, your IFs have carved a deep space for themselves in my life. I find myself replaying and going through their official pages religiously even though I've read every post already.

a question! will every LI's gender be chosen individually? I'm wondering because C and D are suitmates, but is it doable if they're different genders? same for mc and V. I'm thinking yes but also wanted to be sure

Honestly very very sorry for the long rant, I'm sure you have better things to do 😭😭 but i had the uncontrollable urge to express my feelings on your art and it took me an entire day of trying to talk myself out of it (i failed).

(also, here's my mc's profile and dm box. her royal highness maxine's ig profile is private btw. going for c route first. Mitică is the romanian diminutive for the name Dimitru, and opsis is an ancient greek concept i thought would fit V)

i’m speechless (sentimentally), dear reader 😭 i still can’t believe some people would take the time out of their day to think about my silly little worlds and the characters in it, less of all like how i’ve written my works. every single time i hit a writer’s block or have the whole doxxing trauma flare up again, i think of quitting but it’s the urge to write stories and the joy of sharing it with everyone that is still keeping me going.

i can’t explain how much your words mean to me because this is what i write for. to have people relate to or identify with or adore the world and characters i’ve built is such a dream within itself. from the bottom of my heart, i am thankful for every single reader who has always been nothing but supportive from day one. if elias has his apple, i have y’all. and no, it doesn’t mean y’all can have my meagre inheritance but it’s the sentiment that counts.

to answer your question, every single LIs gender will be selectable! blackthorne hall has individual bedrooms per suite so y’all will only be sharing the common areas and kitchenette with V while having your own personal space. it’s more like an apartment than a usual college dorm tbh.

oh and please, rant away! i’d love nothing more than to hear about your MCs and the various headcanons, questions, or theories you might have!

(also please knock C down a few pegs, they desperately need it 😔)

[yuri-is-online]

You Simple Vile Monstrosity: Rook and the Flowers of Evil

My other two dumb history posts have at least a semblance of fun fact to them, but this is mostly going to be literary analysis and some theory. There's some interesting stuff here sure, but I don't really think it adds much to the overall landscape of twst theories. But it does make Rook make more sense to me so I am making this post anyway.

So without further ado, if you are like me and enjoy reading twst theories, you might know that the beginning lines of Twisted Wonderland are something we have been debating the meaning of since the game came out really. While I think we have been closing in on their true meaning as Chapter 7 progresses along, the phrase "Flowers of Evil" can actually refer to something specific: a french poetry collection of the same name (Les Fleurs du mal in french) by a poet name Charles Baudelaire originally published in 1857. The collection was extremely controversial, but today it is highly lauded and has inspired several other literary works, including a manga series by Shūzō Oshimi of the same name. I found out about the poetry collection while working on this request and finally finished reading it... and another essay by Baudelaire for reasons we can talk about later on in the post. For now let's talk poetry.

Beauté! 100 Points!

I don't speak french, so I read an English translation done by Aaron Poochigian that does contain the original french text in the back half of the book. The Flowers of Evil is split into seven-ish parts: The Flowers of Evil (just containing "To the Reader"), Spleen and the Ideal, Parisian Scenes, Wine, Flowers of Evil (again but with 12 poems this time), Revolt, and then Death. The sections are more or less organized by the subject of the poems, Spleen and the Ideal is the largest with Baudelaire musing over what the ideal concept of beauty is while Wine deals with getting drunk (on wine mostly if you can believe it.) One of the things that jumps out very quickly about Baudelaire's work is that his concept of beauty is almost synonymous with his concept of evil. He writes a lot about maggots eating corpses, about decay, he has a few poems that talk about vampires appearing to be the highest form of beauty but really being husks of rotted flesh; it's all very much about this acceptance that evil is a part of life and human nature, so therefore there must be beauty in it. The concept of "ideal beauty" must by it's nature be divorced from the concept of "morality." When Rook talks about the potential for Leona or Malleus to kill him and how beautiful that would be, I think he means the act of destruction itself would be beautiful. The circumstances surrounding it and the consequences of it are irrelevant to the concept; this is also why while he initially says he cannot find the crimson lotuses in GloMas beautiful Deuce accuses him of doing just that after everything is said and done. He cannot find beauty in Rollo's actions, but the visual and the fight are beautiful because of the effort he and the other students put in to stop them. And perhaps most importantly, it's why he is willing to drink Vil's poison and look upon what is supposedly ultimate ugliness and say "In this moment you are the fairest of them all." Because how could an act born out of such raw and genuine emotion be anything but?

Le Chasseur D'Armour, The Hunter of Love

Baudelaire wasn't just a poet, he fancied himself a critic and wrote multiple essays, the one I read for this post is The Painter of Modern Life. Which is actually a collection of several but they are all related, and I was directed to them by this wordpress post. In it, Baudelaire muses over how things can be both beautiful and ugly, and why:

"Beauty is made up of an eternal, invariable element, whose quantity it is excessively difficult to determine, and of a relative, circumstantial element... which severally or all at once, the age, its fashions, its morals, its emotions."

He was talking about fashion plates that depicted outdated costumes, but his point was more or less that if you strictly look at the design of the costume they look ridiculous: ugly. But when you take into account their historical value (these particular plates were all from the around the time of the French revolution) they become exceedingly important: beautiful. He also mentions in this same essay the importance of not just taking into account the opinions of so called "masters" and sneers at people who think they understand what is beautiful just because they have seen a painting done by a professional:

"... to declare that Raphael, or Racine, does not contain the whole secret, and that minor poets too have something good, solid and delightful to offer... that we might love general beauty, as it is expressed by classical poets and artists, we are no less wrong to neglect particular beauty, the beauty of circumstance and the sketch of manners."

In chapter 5, while helping Vil judge the auditions for VDC, Rook gives every audition 100 points because, well, in his mind they are all an example of perfect beauty specifically because they are the work of amateurs, and that is no less valuable to him or less worthy of praise that the work of the master. Now granted he clearly does value professional quality (he did have reasons for voting for Neige other than being a massive simp. Valid ones even if loosing does sting) but that's only in the context of strict rules and guidelines. When Rook is asked for his opinion, while he certainly does believe there is an absolute, academic definition beauty, he doesn't place any value on where that beauty comes from. Baudelaire muses over how human life "accidentally" puts mysterious beauty into the world, and the true appreciator of beauty must make himself not strictly a poet but:

"...an observer of life, and only later set himself the task of acquiring the means of expressing it... For most of us... the fantastic reality of life has become singularly diluted. [But he] never ceases to drink it in; his eyes and memories are full of it."

I strongly dislike suggesting in these posts that xyz is "the definitive reason" for why a character acts the way that he does, but I do think it is very interesting how well this describes Rook's ethos. He thinks of himself as a hunter, but in order to do that he needs to observe. Sure he takes it to exceptionally extreme lengths, but it makes him one of the most lively members of the NRC cast. Baudelaire is right, there are a million things about life we miss on a day to day basis wherein true beauty lies, but Rook sees all of it. His eyes, memories, camera, and secret photo albums are fit to burst with it.

My Noble and Beautiful Flower of Evil

I mentioned the opening text at the beginning of this post, and I stand by my interpretation that the phrase "flower of evil" it uses likely is not a specific reference to any of the poems themselves... beyond the obvious note that it is a collection of poems about finding beauty in, well, evil and most of the characters are based off of villains.

But there was something that started gnawing at me when I read the introduction to my translation, which was written by a poet named Dana Gioia. It was a very well written summary of Baudelaire's life and the significance of his work, but it mentioned a connection that I have seen brought up in twst theorizing before: Edgar Allen Poe.

You see, Baudelaire was obsessed with Poe. To the point that (according to the introduction) "He considered Poe a sacred martyr for art and referred to him as 'Saint Edgar.' In his morning devotions, Baudelaire prayed first to God and then to Poe."

I have nothing to say on that (because really what could you) but the point that Gioia wanted to make in that introduction was that Poe had a massive influence on Baudelaire's writing style. He wrote multiple essays on his work and translated them into French because he felt like Poe deserved the recognition, so while Gioia used this to argue that Poe's influence on Baudelaire shouldn't be underestimated...

I can't find the post, but someone was talking about how Malleus's mother's name Meleanor is very similar to "Lenore" and I recall people sort of brushing that connection off. I don't that name is a coincidence. I think the poem "Lenore" might very well have been something thought about when constructing her character, and that the themes in Poe's work might be very relevant to the overall story of Twisted Wonderland.

Something about ravens and telltale hearts just feels like they fit; maybe we have got it all wrong and Yuu's visions aren't coming from the mirror in Ramshackle, but the floorboards.

Semi- Unrelated Fun Facts:

If you read the name Baudelaire and thought to yourself it sounded familiar, you might have be thinking of the Baudelaire children from A Series of Unfortunate Events. This isn't exactly a coincidence as the author of the series admits to his writing being heavily influenced by Charles Baudelaire to the point he actually wrote the afterword to the translation I own.

Dana Gioia is the former Poet Laureate of the state of California, something that deeply confused me. Apparently the Governor of California appoints someone to a 2 year term and they travel around the state to promote poetry and literacy which is apparently something that 46/50 U.S. states and D.C. does to????

My glorious motherland of Pennsylvania is not one of these states, apparently we only ever appointed one, then eliminated the position entirely after he retired, and then started just. Handing out ones to people in individual cities and counties. Which is so par for the course here I don't know why I am surprised.

One of the first things any college level literature course will try to drill into you is that you don't examine the life of an author when examining their work. It might sound silly, but I think Baudelaire is a great example of why that's important. The man was addicted to drugs and sex, refused to get a "real job", lived off his inheritance from his wealthy father and eventually whatever money he could convince his mother to send him his entire adult life, and had her use her political connections to bail him out of legal trouble multiple times.

If I thought too hard about that it would make his lines in "Skeleton Laborers" (Nothingness is treacherous.//Even Death is a deceiver.//Alas, forever and ever,//work may be awaiting us) fall terribly flat, which I think does them a disservice. The man was very talented and I am glad he wrote them because I felt very seen when I read them.

Baudelaire opened his publication with a note to the reader, but he made it a full poem entitled "To the Reader." I liked the ending stanza so much I used a version of it to title my blog, and eventually my current masterlist: (Boredom! Moist-eyed, he dreams, while pulling on//a hookah pipe, of guillotine-cleft necks.//You, reader, know this tender freak of freaks-//hypocrite reader-mirror-man-mytwin!)

Likewise the title of this post is also taken from part of a poem, "Hymn to Beauty" (Beauty, you simple, vile monstrosity,//I cannot care about your origin,//provided that your gaze, smile, feet show me//a sweet infinity I have never known.) I think that fits Rook's ideals rather well, don't you?

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Love Like Ghosts (Lord Huron)

I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes/Oh, go on baby, hurt me tonight/I want ours to be an endless song/Baby, in my eyes, you do no wrong/I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes/So go on, baby, hurt me tonight/All the spirits that I know I saw/Do you see no ghost in me at all?

"The use of ghosts as a metaphor for ghosts is just. so good. The idea of being haunted by your pasts love/seeing yourself as a ghost because of love is such a fascinating idea like?? Referring to the concept of love with "what ain't living can never really die" is really interesting because the love was "never living" meaning....that the love wasn't real? that the love was one sided? that they were never in love at all? it could mean a thousand different things and the entire song is skewed from the perspective of the narrator. The character narrator's of LH songs are....notoriously unreliable to put it lightly, and this one could be viewed in the same way. The narrator is adamant that the person they're singing to doesn't truly love them, but doesn't want them to leave her, but we have no way to know that for certain. She implies that the person is lying to her and doesn't truly want her with the line "You don't want me baby, please don't lie" but again, we don't know if thats true. It leaves this song is such a weird state of leaving the listener guessing and walking away with their own meaning of the song."

Against The Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s incredible vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Love Like Ghosts submitted by @danidoesathing

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

[allureasdiary]

Currently ppl I've been using as muses & inspos:

• Rihanna

• Aaliyah

• Nicki Minaj

• Beyonce (in 2000s)

• Kendrick lamar

• Sharpay Evans

• Marilyn Monroe

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The main take away from all these ppl listed above is that they embody a certain self concept that I've felt called to embrace this year. Key themes such as standing up for myself, following my intuition & calling more, tapping into my dark feminine, enter my heiress/queen era, embracing leadership qualities, reflecting on my influence/how my character may impact others, not going back on my word aka standing on business, use negative energy as motivation.

Recently I had an encounter with an anon telling me something negative, I didn't give it much energy only a little however that alone made me feel something inside. A form of power when I did that. It felt good to stand up for myself and not just take the disrespect. Ive found myself feeling more positive when i did things i wanted to do rather than settle on what others wanted me to do. For example, me cleaning my room I share my room with my little sister which I despise honestly 🤦🏾‍♀️(currently manifesting new family btw), i had held off cleaning it because i felt as though since the mess is from her she should be the one tk clean it which only made me more irritated because i knew she wouldn't. Well i finally took things ibto my own hands and cleaned it all myself, I found myself not only feeling more vibrant but happier when I cleaned it the way I wanted it really reduced my stress. It's the same with my self care routine, when I did it the way I wanted a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It's only when I feel like my decision of how I may feel best is overshadowed and trampled over by outside opinions is when things tend to go south. I've felt the need more and more to break from boundaries and social norms and do my own thing without everyone else in my ear telling me what I should and shouldn't do.

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Rihanna:

○ When it comes to rihanna, recently I've found her rawness really drawing to me. Especially when she was younger. She isn't afraid to say what she wants. Recently she did a photosgoot and i was super drawn to it. She continues to embrace her rebel "bad gyal" image and I've found myself relating to it. As someone who has always been label the "good girl" the dark theme has been truly drawing to me. Even if it isn't just dark colors, but the regal sex appeal, the rawness, the unfiltered chaotic energy, it's very magnetic to me. She also falls in the vixen archetype, which is one of the archetypes I have from the feminine archetype quiz.

Aaliyah:

○Now...I'm gonna be 100% honest, Aaliyah definitely wasn't someone I'd think I'd relate to at all. I didn't know her 100% well celebrity wise since I grew up with ppl like nicki, Rihanna and beyonce. However after doing research on her here and there and taking notes on how she was as an artist and person I've found I've related to her more than anything this year. She carries a mystic air about her that in today's artists you can see many tried copying and replicating. She was quite literally the world's it girl and even now ppl still talk about how amazing and sweet she is. I love how she didn't tell everything but told alot about her. She respected her own privacy majority of the time. Also I connect alot with her aesthetic of having like a tomboy look but it still looks really feminine in a way. She was a trendsetter at its finest and was soft spoken as well which makes me like her even more.

Nicki Minaj:

○ Ms. Nicki minaj, nicki Lewinsky, nicki da harajuku barbie!! She has been my #1 inspiration and muse when it comes to a high self concept. Despite the things that's happen in her personal life and seeing how her career has transformed over the years one of the main takeaways I can see is that since day 1 she never stopped affirming that she in fact was the #1 queen and that there would never and will never be another one like her, after her, can't even replicate her. Even in her old songs she quite literally prophesied and solidified her position as the queen of rap for years to come. Regardless if you love her or hate her u quite literally can't deny it since no one in this world has done what she's done even the ones that's tried to, failed. She is the definition of having true passion in what she loves, having unwavering ambition and drive to keep going despite all odds going against her. She also had this motherly energy towards her fans that I appreciate especially in her early days. She's always loved the barbs and continues to show gratitude. Learning from that I could take away to always be humble but don't ever let anyone step all over u either. Also she's probably the best I've seen when it comes to self branding yourself. Literally the situation with ice spice is a perfect example with the wigs and flow she did. Nicki has curated her aesthetic and brand so well that literally even the littlest change on someone such as pink or bangs or ankle inched black bussdown hair is associated with her and her brand. Now nicki herself may not have created these things and yes there were ppl before her who have worn pink and long hair but none of them actually made it there BRAND their STAPLE PIECE it may have been a moment but it wasn't a LOOK and that's what nicki did. After learning from that currently I've felt to go in the direction of making my own "princess self concept", a smaller version of her "queen" like nature. (Since rn I don't feel like much of a queen at all and see myself as a baby queen, a princess. Its not time yet)

Beyonce:

As a fellow virgo she too has perfectionism and I myself am a perfectionist. I 100% respect her work ethic especially when it comes to her performances. She continues to wanna top herself and not settle no matter the heights. Another thing is her gold aesthetic that I've felt more and more drawn to. It just screams royalty, that's something I've felt more and more called towards as well. She literally turned herself into a star amd made sure she shined the brightest. I love older vids of her where she always wanted remain as honest as possible and u could even see on some of her facial expressions when she knew some stuff was bs or just wasn't up to par. For that I have to respect that and her heavy keen eye to detail. She tolerated zero room for disrespect and this could be seen in her bow down record and though she said no name all the hit dogs hollered.

Kendrick lamar:

○Now I'm ngl, after the drake and kendrick beef its made me have a ton for respect for him as an artist but it also made me do some digging back in his old music. After doing proper thorough listens, I noticed his humble character and down to earth nature. After the battle, I was really drawn to his straightforwardness. He didn't play any internet games and didn't sugar coat either. That leads me to my self concept. More and more I find myself feeling good when I just start telling ppl like it is, where my boundaries are, where I am with this and that person. Not only does it makes things less confusing for the both of us but it shows that there is just some things that I'm not ok with tolerating and I will say it as many times as needed until u realize that. I also took note of how in his music he tended to talk about actual issues especially within the black community. As someone who expresses myself through art, that is something we have in common. Using our forms of art to heal ourselves and those around us by connecting through our problems and fixing them. For example, his song father time was him talking about his daddy issues ans his wife telling him he needs therapy. Though the song was technically about the men, as a growing young woman with daddy issues I related to the song heavily. This is the same with his unreleased song prayer where he continually used examples of separating the art from the artists and how we as ppl shouldn't be idolizing the celebrity and then stop when we see them doing something bad, the main point is that they are no better than us regular folks and still do bad things and make mistakes also, however those mistakes shouldn't be a reason u should stop loving there art entirely because if that was the case then no celebrities should exist because they've all done something bad in there lives just like we have. For that, I can takeaways the power of not just being aware of others faults but our own as well. He even admitted himself he still has healing to do and that's something I can relate to. The value of not staying the same and growing into your highest self definitely adds to me working on a growth mindset rather than a egotistical narrow minded one.

Sharpay Evans:

○ I'm ngl when i was younger i hated her. I thought she was egotistical, arrogant and messy. Now that im older i can see that she wasnt 100% that way at all, she was confident in herself and knew who she was and was literally oblivious to anyone who didnt like it. She had her own signature to everything as well thats how u knew it was sharpay whether u saw cute kitten heels, glitter ink pens or fur. Even on graduation she stood out with her signature SE hat. And her fashion was always top tier and iconic regardless of how stressed out she was from gabriella she didnt allow herself to go a day without looking good.

(Honerable mentions to Regina George, Elle woods, Cher Horowitz. My fav blondie girl bosses)

Marilyn Monroe:

○ Last but certainly not least is Marilyn Monroe. I think I've connected to her on a deeper level not just because of her manifestation story but also because I have the best connection to her when it comes to the way I feel about beauty. Beauty and being in the spotlight is something I highly struggle with, simply because it's something I daydream about so much whether it's imagining me getting plastic surgery or just me waking up one day with my dream life. Knowing that even someone who's considered the most beautiful woman in the world felt insecure in herself as well made me feel almost more human with myself and how I look and act. I did research on her years ago and found old vids of how she would talk about how much she'd study herself from her mannerisms to the way her hands moves to how she sounds to her facial expressions and so much more to give off illusions of things, even in her iconic walk I think she trimmed one of her heels to give the illusion of her hips swaying. She literally studied and curated her entire persona until she became who she is known as today. Even then I saw a few later vids of her and how sad she seemed in the eyes. This not only taught me more on self branding but also the importance of self love as well. I have a feeling had she lived a bit longer she may would've grown deeper into that. However something I could take away was the importance of enhancing your qualities of yourself the best way you can and that's exactly what she did

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Anyway that's all for now darlings I have so many things in store for the future and I can't wait to share them all with u guys!! Xoxo, Allurèa

[loadinghellsing]

How do you think Alucard and Anderson would confess their feelings to each other?

How do you think Anderson deals with coming to terms with his feelings towards Alucard?

When it comes to Alucard and Anderson's dynamic, majority of their feelings are understood without ever being spoken or directly acknowledged. So for them to confess, truly confess, I don't see it coming naturally to either of them. Alucard needs a shove, and Anderson needs a bit of coaxing.

(WARNING: LONG POST - goes into depth beneath cut)

---

While Alucard shamelessly flirts with and praises Anderson at every opportunity. His admiration, awe, amusement, and thrill all evident. Because Anderson is a willing, capable opponent who shares beliefs parallel to Vlad's own. He's eager, passionate, and raw with his humanity. And he's capable of taking a hit and outliving those who are doomed by time alone. Alucard can endlessly adore him in specific and concept.

However, for Alucard to admit he loves Anderson. That he cares for him, both mentally and physically. Is an entirely different matter. To confess that he'd prioritize Anderson's needs over his own, is the type of commitment that distinguishes love (platonic or romantic), from obsession. It's an intimate and vulnerable feeling. So even if he acts on these emotions, the only way I see Alucard confessing to the hold Anderson has on his heart is when the honesty of that care is challenged.

It's confessed as a pained, furious scream. Not directed at Anderson, but at himself. Reflective of what it implies about his humanity, both past and present. It's confessing not only how important Anderson is to him, and the entirety of what that means. But it'd be a visceral moment where every word would burn his throat. Because it confesses how what remains of his humanity longs for Anderson, yet it's humanity he gave up. So it hardly matters, not when it all ends the same.

---

Contrast of Alucard, is Anderson. He's a naturally caring person, and to a degree, he's honest about his feelings. Including those for Alucard. In the heat of combat, they're easily set aside. But provided a moment of calm, of comfort and safety; he wouldn't deny that truth. Confessed feelings with all the fondness, protectiveness, honesty, pity, and love he has. Perhaps tired and defeated by the weight of those words, but they'd be genuine in their entirety.

However, extracting a compliment-based confession from Anderson would be a near impossible feat. It's not a matter of him 'denying his feelings'. But the challenge of acknowledging those feelings in relation to Alucard being a vampiric monstrosity. And admitting that he finds such a creature beautiful,  a cosmic event functioning as a living force. A stunning, yet damning storm. It's a thought infinitely harder for Anderson to admit.

Any praise would be admitting his sins to the greatest sinner he knows. Perhaps over time, he'd make a quip or two. But it would remain a rare indulgence. He'd never be fully comfortable with it, but it's not entirely denied. Because it's a form of damnation he'd indulge in with Alucard. Since the idea of being condemned together isn't entirely unappealing.

---

In the end, it's Anderson struggling with damnation, and Alucard struggling with salvation. It's hard to tell who's leading who. If ones falling or the others rising. Majority of their relationship is deciding it doesn't truly matter. They lie somewhere in the between, where it is neither night nor day.

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

With Thunder released, I think it is almost time to finalize some plans for WCR!A Starless Clan.

Needless to say, MASSIVE spoilers for A Starless Clan, especially book 4, Thunder.

Under the cut are some IDEAS. NOTHING HERR IS FINAL YET AND ALL IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE. Behold, my chaotic note-taking in its raw, unfiltered form.

So. First concept: All leaders are at one point either deposed or killed.

Mistystar dies the same awkward way, but with more emotion this time. She is the leader most of Riverclan has known either all their lives, or most of their lives. However, and I cannot emphasize this enough, Mistystar had dementia. She was holding on by threads before she dropped dead.

Leafstar dies suddenly as well due to a massive heart attack, falling off of Highbranch and breaking her neck. The problem here is, ex-deputy Waspwhisker JUST SHOWED UP. This leads to the release of Waspwhisker's Adventure, where he and the other kidnapped Skyclan cats come home.

'so what'd I miss?'.mp3 moment

Tigerheartstar is dethroned. Berryheart's group is too powerful, and Puddleshine does agree. At least, with staying out of Riverclan. Shadowclan just had a major Greencough epidemic and Birchkit is dead due to it, they needed his support. Shadowsight is also missing.

Cloverfoot, however, picks Berryheart as deputy (Berryheart will have also had an apprentice by this point) and goes off to the Moonpool, only for a larger than normal gray fox to kill her. It leaves Berryheart alone, and, much to Sunbeam's horror, allows her to go to the Moonpool.

Splashtail also races up behind her, and the 2 earn their names.

Enter Splashstar and Berrystar. Frostpaw was too late.

Frostpaw also now time travels with Nightheart, Shadowsight, and Whistlepaw. Nightheart is an idiot who never studied history (though he did study Camp Keeping and Glyphs), but the other 3 (especially Whistlepaw) know to take on differently styled names, referencing heroes they heard of in stories.

Shadow Eyes, Whistle, Frosty Paws, and... The other guy who inspired Night Heart, first deputy of Riverclan.

"Stop laughing at me I PREFERRED LEARNING GLYPHS"

Harestar passes after a long, brutal battle with Blackcough. His Deputy, Breezepelt, is about to go to the Moonpool with his new Deputy Heathertail and Kestralflight, when the dog pack attacks AGAIN. I'm not sure if it kills Breezepelt, but it sure as hell leaves him out of commission. He will, tragically, not become leader. In wake of the events, Heathertail turns to the one cat she has always been able to vent to. Lionblaze. Not as a lover, just friends.

Since Squilf steps down in Squirrelflight's Freedom, she... also won't become leader. I love her so much, but her not becoming leader means Leafpool lives longer, and she actually gets the rest she deserves with her sister and new husband Shrewfeather. Hey, at least she gets to keep being Squilf. I love Squirrelstar but I don't like that name very much, doesn't feel right. I want some canon cats to get caught up on it too because Squirrelflight is such a good name, and she's good humored enough I don't think it would bother her. ANYWAY

Hollyleaf is deputy, and Bramblestar does not want to give up his position, he isn't happy that his Clan now fears him, and that makes him lash out because he 'always knew they were suspicious of me'. Self fulfilling prophecy, my boy. Maybe stop using your huge size and BOOMING voice to get what you want.

When the Clan uses their votes to vote him out, the vote starts with... Dandeliontuft. She completes her arc. She was the first to know that Bramblestar was replaced when he started paying more attention to her, and now she is going to take down the real one.

Is Bramblestar had a nickel for every time he has been snapped at by golden tabby mollies he was related to, he would have 3 nickels. Not a lot, but he doesn't have a concept of money, so that's okay.

They vote against him because his leadership has been nothing but disaster. Which....

Fair enough. Ashfur wasn't his fault but there's a reason no one thought he'd been replaced for a WHILE, longer than in canon. Bramblestar was not liked, most cats were gunning for Hollyleaf to be made leader.

He tries to fight back against this, that he was blessed by Starclan, this is unfair, they were only doing this because of his father, what would Firestar think?

For the second time in Clan history, in broad daylight, a lightning bolt strikes. It is taken as a very clear sign. Starclan has made its approval of Hollyleaf QUITE clear!

But! Boom! A wild Lionblaze and Heathertail appeared!

Lionblaze used Announcement!

"THE MOONPOOL IS CURSED"

it's super effective...

Well, that sucks. But Hollyleaf is smart. She knows that something will be done about it, but in the meantime, take leader names, pick new deputies, and build yourselves up. Skyclan is about to break into civil war, Splashstar and Berrystar are coming down on the other Clans to purge 'outsider blood' and make them "pure" again.

Hollystar names Lilyheart or Rosepetal her deputy. Haven't decided yet.

I know Frostpaw is gonna stay in Windclan for a while, trying to unravel the mystery behind Curlfeather and her group, because there needs to be more to it than what she has been told.

Sunbeam is done with Nightheart's whiny crap, and will probably end up with Myrtlebloom or Finchlight, or back with Lightleap. He is told to get over himself.

Lightleap is now a POV and is struggling with being enough, throwing herself into more and more reckless situations and overworking herself. She needs to prove herself, in her own eyes.

Frostpaw has an epic escape from an animal hospital, also Smoky died of pneumonia between arcs. The three new barn cats are Rosey (tortoiseshell molly with green eyes), Whiskers (black tom with long white whiskers), and Muffin (white tom with blue eyes, deaf in one ear). They had no idea what would happen, but they are young and panicked at the sight of Frostpaw's wounds, calling for the Twolegs, who rush Frostpaw to the vet. She trusts them through her fear, as is her nature.

Jury's out on if she still gets spayed.

Fringewhisker loses her back leg to Berryheart's trials, before she and Spireclaw flee Shadowclan, heading for Skyclan. It may be a shitstorm over there, but at least they will be safe.

Frostpaw is determined to know what is causing the curse, and to get to the bottom of it.

The arc ends with the villains winning, leading to the next arc, Dark Times, because we need to take it easy on how disconnected the arcs are.

Arcs 9 and 10 are Homebrew.

Dark Times and Beyond The Stars.

Also, the book names for A Starless Clan have begun to shuffle, I know the first one is River and the last WILL be Star.

[songsofbloodandwater]

Hey! 1,10 and 11 for the ask game?

Hello ! Sorry if it took me a while to answer, life got in the way 😅

1) As a witch, somebody caught between two worlds- not fully belonging to either one, what anchors you to the physical world?

It really depends on what I'm up to. Sometimes is loved ones and mundane responsibilities dragging me back to the human side. During seasons of deep growth it feels more like an ebb and flow, like sinking deep into the water and coming back out just at the right time to breathe again. Lately, it's my own craft, in it's little rituals. Admiring the golden morning light coming through the window into the altar, making tea. While I still have those deep dives every so often, my daily work is very nature and hearth focused and so part of it is appreciating both nature and the little things of day-to-day life, and what they can teach us about life.

10) Is breath or voice of particular importance?

Yes! both of them. The breath of life, and also our breath as an extension of the wind. Voice is interesting because it's a combination of that sacredness of breath-wind with music and rhythm. Our own human rhythms being a reflection of the rhythms we experience from nature and also part of Nature's bigger symphony.

11) Are paradoxes or opposing opposites important to you? I.e. Fire and Water.

Yes to opposites, but not so much as a paradox. I tend to focus on their opposite but complementary aspect. The fact that I call them Blood and Water instead of Fire and Water or Fire in Water even though it's clear to me that we're talking about similar concepts, it's perhaps the easiest way to gaze into some of the differences I perceive. Most of my ramblings about Blood and Water are somewhere deep in the tag #My Notes.

I put more focus on how the same essence can take a myriad of forms and remain true to itself, even beyond the practitioner (not only the fire of the witch, but the fire of the forge, the fire of the stars, the fire of the woods, and so forth) including all their opposing forms and opposite forces. One of the core beliefs of my tradition is how All will eventually go back to The One, and that is perceived as a good thing, at least in my case. So I study the many forces and shapes not so much to use them for individual gain but rather to understand how we're part of something bigger, and our place in it, in relation to it's other forms. It's from a place of earnest appreciation, curiosity and raw awe for all that exists.

I know not everyone understands that to be a desirable outcome, Oneness. And so I guess there's two possible ways to move about it. Follow the flow, and study it's shapes, or use the shapes to go against the current in whatever capacity you find. That's a personal choice... to a degree. It's also not a black-or-white, exclusively this-or-that choice. Any healthy practitioner will experience a combination of both, in different ways. Nature has destructive forces and always had, always will have. It's not surprising that some people choose to follow more closely that destructive path and in fact, I still view it as part of Creation. It's still an important part of the opposite shapes and forces that life can take along the way, and that are necessary for it to be experienced fully (you could say "it was all part of the plan from the start"!)

Thank you for asking, dear!

[speedofsoundsketches]

I like you’re shadow and jolt comic giving me insperstion to create my own comic with my oc and shadow tbh I pictured my oc and shadow doing the same as shadow and jolt which is giving me courage to do my own comic with them fancomic obviously but do you have any tips on how development of a comic would work how long did it take for you to plan the comic

I've been working on this comic for about five years this coming November. From the start of developing the story to when the first comics were posted, it was about a three or four month long period of early development.

To be honest, I'm never NOT developing the comic. Each update is sort of treated as a self-contained session and while I have a plan of how everything connects, you don't really know how it'll actually work out until you're making the pages themselves and piecing the puzzle pieces together to make it all coherent. If you go to my Patreon, you'll see all the raw, first drafts of my comics and how much they changed in the final pages.

The following are my personal tips but I highly recommend also reading this post by the creator of Lackadaisy on the same subject. I followed her example for my work a lot and thankfully she's open about her secrets. :)

Tip #1: Know what your End Goal is for your comic

A lot of eager hopefuls start with a strong passion for their stories and it seems clear in your head how it will pan out. Over time, your interest starts to dwindle, passion is replaced with procrastination, writer's block occurs and you wonder why this thing you loved so much has become a total chore.

This is often due to not knowing the overall POINT to making your comic at all. What's the theme? The message? What do you and your audience GET out of it?

Shadow and Jolt has a clear progression and ending in mind that all relates to the Themes and Messages I want to impart to my readers. Try dissecting your favorite Sonic stories (or any story in general) and analyze why you like them and what made them impactful to you. Determine their themes and messages then observe how each part of the story, character arcs and such were written to serve them. What were the creators trying to tell you or make you experience?

That's the difference between a story with intention versus one that's confused or directionless. Because even during writer's block, if you know what message you're trying to tell, it gives you a lighthouse to paddle towards and keep you from getting lost in the ocean of vague notions.

Tip #2: Script It Out!

Before I ever drew a single comic for Shadow and Jolt, the first thing I did to help me develop a more solid plan was to write scripts. Some were fully realized with dialogue and action sequences. Others were outlines to help me see the full picture from beginning to end.

I've written over 30 different scripts. Many are just a few pages each but some are about 50+ pages.

And guess what? Every single one of them STINK.

These are not my best work because they don't need to be. They're meant for playing around with character dialogues, motivations, relationships and manner of speech. If a script resonates with me enough, I'll try doing a draft of it in comic form to see how it feels on paper and continue tweaking things from there. It was such a horribly cliche story at first but it's ok because to determine what's wrong, I need to see it actually in front of me and not as some ethereal mess of images in my mind.

Tip #3: Gather, Research and Conceptualize

I cannot stress enough how much doing this has helped with this project.

References I used included the games I liked the most, their production history, interviews with Sonic Team, compiled images/inspirations I found around the internet, etc. I used all this material to strengthen the ideas I had so I could start drawing concepts.

Characters, vehicles, environments.... everything and anything gets concepts. Lots of sketches, sometimes with color. I've possibly gone through almost 10+ sketchbooks for just Shadow and Jolt alone. There were a lot of things that needed testing and fleshing out, especially because it's such a big project. (and I'm just one little ol' me ;-;)

From the beginning, the plan was that Shadow and Jolt would be based on the games so my research was spent digging into the entire timeline and reminding myself of what the games are about and how to capture their essence as close as I can. I'm not sure what setting you plan to base this story on but you'll have a different set of research to do if you plan to include things from something else like Archie, Boom or whatever.

Tip #4: BEWARE SCOPE CREEP

In game development, teams start by deciding on the full scope of the project and settle on what's going to be in the game. The team makes projections on how long it'll take to complete it, set deadlines and then move to act on it.

A few weeks into production, maybe you decide to add a new animated action for the main character. Maybe then you add in a new weapon that will require another full move set to program and animate. Maybe you want to add a new character that you came up with during lunch. Maybe you have a whole extra side quest that adds a whole new plot point that adds even MORE characters who all have unique functions and animations you'll have to make-

See how quickly that can happen? That's scope creep. You start adding way more than was initially planned, thus it ends up extending the time it takes to actually finish the project.

Obviously, it's less dire than a product meant for sale but the lessons are the same. With any changes you make, be mindful of how that's going to effect you getting the story done and if it even really adds anything to your End Goal.

Remember, you only have so much energy in a given day to dedicate to your comic. Manage it wisely!

Tip #5: Live life!

This is a bit of an odd one maybe but for me at least, it's super valuable.

I've mentioned in previous posts how real world experiences helped inspire my comic. Part of what makes Sonic's world feel so lived in is the dedication the team put into making each level feel that way! Sonic Unleashed is maybe the best example of this point. I feel that Sonic was made by people who not only wanted to make a fun game series but who use it to celebrate the actual act of adventure. Living life, seeing new sights, meeting new people, eating unique cuisine, you catch my drift!

Some of my best ideas came from having a lived experience. You won't be able to write authentic stories staying in a bubble of your own making. Outside of my fancomic, I like going on long walks, exploring places or simply hanging out with my friends. So my final suggestion for you is to live a full life and be inspired by it! Nothing beats reality anyway. :)

[muniimyg]

hey! i hope you don’t mind with this long text i’m about to write.

When i first started read bbydaddy!jk i wasn’t expected at all those depth feelings and layers in the characters. It’s was a refreshing surprise. It’s 9:44 am right now and your fic was the first thing i read in the morning and now my head it’s full with thoughts. Love is a simple and complex subject at the same time.And the break up… i felt the feeling of things falling apart just like when i broke up with my ex. We are all humans after all, right? I just can’t stop thinking about you as a person. What’s pass through your mind when you sat and wrote about all this? You’re so human and sensitive with the things around you. Honestly, i wish talking to you and hear more about your perspective since you seem to be observant. I really hope they can find a way of working out. Anyway, i can safely say that i admire your work and your mind. Um beijo 🇧🇷

wow i’ve never received an ask like this 😭 u’re so incredibly observant and thoughtful to take my feelings and creative process into consideration. i am completey flattered and humbled all at the same time 💫

as i wrote part 16, my biggest thing was that i wanted to make the narration as gentle but firm as possible. off the bat, i also knew that i wanted the break up reveal to come out as organic as possible but also ease into it (hence the therapy session and the transition in mood / convo) for all the intensity and rawness of heartache to fill up the space between them.

i thought abt giving them a full blown fight. one where they raise their voices and throw things at each other—but i opted for a more subtle and sensitive approach because the things they were/are dealing with are rooted in grief—not anger. i think that’s something that break ups are misled into… nothing is wrong with anger being present but because of their depth and the amount of layers they have as characters; i figured that the best way for it all to unfold was piece by piece. it’s like chipping paint off the walls and how at first it’s jus a little spot but u continue to chip on it,,, suddenly it’s so bad u have no choice but to stand back and accept it’s time to paint the wall anew.

if u think abt it,, the wound was already there. the story began with the built up resentment and wavering boundaries… but their entire relationship is also so unconditional. it’s filled with so much love and respect for each other—they don’t know anything else. so, to make it seamless; i had to emphasize on how much they loved each other more than they loved themselves.

the plagiarism thing also shocked me. it was my first time writing a concept that was more,,, technical? and out of my regular writing/creative style. i rlly liked it tho. it was a nice change of content and i feel rlly suited this story.

lastly, i think all in all i’m trying to shift my writing into something that is more relatable when it comes to independence and growth. i think oc embodies passion and grit while jungkook embodies the beauty of life’s stillness. both such important aspects of life,, both heartbreaking to be caught in the middle of.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Your writing turns me on endlessly, it feels so raw and lived in… What fic(s) of yours do you feel is closest to your actual sexual experiences?

Thanks!! I'm honored to hear that

And this is a really fucking great question but I don't know if I have a great answer, lmao.

Immediately, though, I thought of these two ask answers that relate to describing what having a dick feels like just because, I don't know, there's less focus in my writing on the concept of having a dick and what being aroused with one feels like, it's much more about horny atmosphere that isn't so specific, y'know? Meanwhile, these asks are hyperspecific to an exact sensation.

1) About Steve describing what being erect feels like to a chemically castrated Bucky

2) Less about characters and more, just, describing what arousal feels like with a dick

As far as actual fics... maybe any of the ones in my series

"You Can('t) Teach An Old Dog New Tricks"

Not necessarily because of the characters, I was not trained to dom by an older dom subbing for me, for example, but I wrote that fic to be a little more realistic generally. Historocally realistic, yes, of course, that's a critical part of the series. But also, in my life, the majority of my sexual partners have been friends. I take to casual relationships and sex better than love. I think somewhere in my particular queerness there's a piece of the aromantic spectrum--maybe even asexual spectrum--and as a result, I don't fall in love or into crushes easily. My favorite thing about sex isn't traditional sex. I like kinks. I like power dynamics. I like domming (I am a switch, but I generally prefer domming to subbing). I like getting my partners off more than I like being touched myself, which sounds braggy or untrue, but it's not. It's just how I've been since I started having sex. Bucky in that fic experiences some of that--the rush of domming and getting more caught up in his partner than in his own pleasure. Sure, he takes his own pleasure, but there's a lot of focus in that fic on domspace.

Huh.

Y'know, maybe that's why those fics stick out to me as more representative of my experience specifically--there's a lot of descriptions of domspace in that series whereas otherwise I don't write from the dom's perspective a lot. I experience domspace myself. And, from the small handful of times that I've subbed, I don't experience subspace. At least, I don't experience subspace to the same depth as domspace. So, Bucky's discovery of domspace and diving into the pleasure of driving his sub wild reflects to me as something especially true to me.

Also, I mean, that series has a shotgun blast of kinks in it, so, of course, it covers more ground as far as kinks I've participated in in real life than other fics.

Hopefully, that answers your question, lol, I'm not convinced I didn't just ramble on aimlessly 💀💀

[talkingbl]

The Good and Bad of Blueming

SPOILER WARNING. TW: eating disorders

The Good

The capturing of the Cha family dynamic. I want to start off by saying that the way Siwon's parents treated both him and his sister was shitty by any measure. That said, Blueming showcased an artfully crafted exploration of the interfamilial toxicity. Particularly revealing was the film-within-a-film. Those scenes where Siwon shot and exhibited his scenario were really the penultimate expression of Siwon's feeling's toward his mother. 2 things really got me: Siwon's stylistic choices with the film, and his mother's subsequent reaction to the film. Those two plot points demonstrated the power of subtlety in media. Siwon's feelings about his mother were deep and complicated yet felt simple to him. Siwon didn't hate his mother, he resented her. He didn't fear her, he wanted to be perfect for her. One scene in particular that stood out was the scene where his younger version is smiling as his mother forced him to drink the protein shake. It seems like, because of the divorce, he felt so sorry for her that he didn't mind when she began projecting all her insecurities onto him. All that mattered to Siwon, it seems, was that his mother was happy, even at his expense. And that feeling of wanting to see someone you love happy at all costs is extremely relatable.

Siwon's backstory. First off, we actually get a backstory that's not merely told to us but shown to us, like the adults we are. It's raw and compelling and shows us the uglier sides of humanity. But more than that, it gives us a look into Korean society that we never see--showcasing the blemishes on the veneer of perfection we see portrayed in Korean media. Another thing I loved about his backstory outside of the metacommentary it provided on individual choices was the fact that it had long-lasting and direct effects on Siwon's life. Siwon struggled with self esteem and feeling loved due to his abandonment issues and his mother's treatment of him post-divorce. This manifested itself whenever he'd jump to the worst possible interpretation of Daun's actions rather than assuming that Daun was approaching in good faith. That's a very real characteristic of people who struggle with low self-esteem. It also manifested itself as hyper-competitiveness with those he perceived as 'too good' for him or 'better' than him. Again, just a great way to communicate his lack of self-worth and fear of abandonment.

Daun as a concept. The best thing about Daun is how open he is with his feelings for Siwon. There's never a moment in the story where I'm left feeling confused about what he is thinking, which, IMO, is key to building a strong lead character. Plus, he's quite proactive and each of his actions have direct and measurable consequences that move the story forward. He is the living embodiment of this gif:

The mise en scene of Episode 9's intimate scene. Everything from the framing (the silhouettes), to the color grading (washed out moody blues), to the setting (beach house), to the tone (sleepy and playful) combined to create one of the most freeing scenes I've seen in a BL, ever. It wasn't just pretty to look at either--it took me to a completely different place outside of the show. It felt like that time around sunset when everything moves a beat slower, the wind is a perfect breeze, and soft background noise hums through the air. Truly gave the same vibes as 'the night feeling' (google it).

Daun's Episode 4 covered kiss. This was the moment I fell for Daun. I came into this show so skeptical and ready to be bored, but that moment changed me completely. And it wasn't the kiss itself that did it. It was the look on Daun's face as he did it, the words he'd muttered to himself up until that point, and the dumbfoundedness of Siwon. There was a childlike crush that had been growing on Daun's end and it just rose to a head. Such a beautiful moment, indeed.

The Bad

Siwon is a weak lead. Yes, I said it. He is so incredibly reactive that it actually hinders the plot. Any good writer knows that key to writing a good character is to make them do stuff rather than merely having stuff done to them. Even if the character is meant to be indecisive, they should do things that, you know, cause the the plot to happen. But here, Siwon barely moves the story forward. In fact, it's always someone else doing it for him. Whether it was his sister submitting his scenario or Daun progressing their relationship, siwon hardly did anything to give him a personality outside of his body image issues and general low self esteem. In other words, all his character development is in the past and doesn't particularly lend itself to moving the present story along..

What happened to Daun's villain arc? The moment Daun broke ole boy's phone, I thought we were in for a Ok Taecyeon Vincenzo-esque heel turn from Daun. Like the bad guy who'd do anything for his one true love. Sadly, I was wrong and we never explored that side of Daun again.

We still don't clearly know why Daun fell for Siwon in the beginning. Seemed a little too much like happenstance.

What exactly happened in the last 1-2 episodes? Girl, when I tell you I had no clue who was avoiding whom and for why in those last two episodes, I mean it. When I realized it was Daun who was avoiding Siwon, I was legitimately confused. Like, wtf? What did Siwon do to deserve this? Why was Daun doing this to himself? I honestly even feel like they should've cut the entire 11th hour betrayal plot out of there because we all saw that coming a mile away. It would've been more refreshing if Daun never went behind Siwon's back in the first place and they had some other conflict instead. But what do I know? I write blog posts not teleplays.

[thetoxicgamer]

Food-Battling Strategy Game Ponders the Ethics of Culinary Combat

An egg can be boiled by just about anyone, and with practise, you might even be able to whip one up and cook it into a tasty omelette. What transpires, then, when you pit that omelette against a three-layer cake? The creator of the upcoming turn-based strategy game GladiEAT was approached by PCGamesN at WASD 2023 to ask him about Steam Early Access plans, the morality of culinary conflict, and the undeniable potential of cheese. The concept of GladiEATers is pretty simple – you cook up various foods and then send them to fight your opponent’s creations. You can bash out simple foods like boiled eggs quickly, or take time to cook something fancier (and stronger in battle) like a three-layered cake. It’s a simple but delightful concept that developer Oliver Georgallis from Milk Bubbles Games came up with on a long drive. “It was complete silence that was broken by, ‘Tommy, I’ve got this idea okay?’” Upon telling his friend, the response all but confirmed the idea in Georgallis’s head: “It could be called GladiEATers.” He loved the name so much that ‘Tommy’ still holds a small stake in the game just for those naming rights. “I love puns – a lot of things in the game are named after puns,” Georgallis tells us on the WASD show floor. “The team pulls me back on that a lot,” he muses, “For example, there’s only one combat chef in the game that can speak in puns, because everyone else said, alright Oliver, all the others need to speak normally.” Georgallis says the team wants the characters to feel varied and interesting, however, and each has their own specific dietary preferences, such as one who’s a raw paleo vegan. “That’s never really a point of humour, you know – no-one ever makes fun of someone for what they eat, or how they dress, or anything like that. That’s really important to us as well. So just real people, basically, that’s what we designed the characters after.” As a trained chef, Georgallis says, “Food is so relatable – I don’t need to explain to anyone what a fried egg is, you know, they just know. And I think that’s a sort of jumping-off point for building character or a creature.” GladiEATers - creatures made out of the tomato and egg dish ShakshoukaSome foods might be a little less familiar to some, however – Ratatouille is fairly widely known at this point thanks to the Disney film of the same name, but what about the tomato and egg dish Shakshouka? “So few people know what that is – I would love for someone to make Shakshouka in the game and then figure out how to make it in real life and find out it’s super easy and super tasty.” Roughly 50 creatures across three categories of eggs, pastry, and vegetables are currently available in-game, but there’s plenty of potential for new foods to arrive down the line. “Cheese – I mean, once we add cheese to the game… that’s cheesy vegetables, cheesy omelettes, cheese on bread, pizza, I mean the whole floodgates open, right?” That means even just one new ingredient creates a whole world of possibilities. “I mean, that’s kind of how cooking works,” Georgallis concludes. One question is burning on our lips, however. If this food is alive, brought into being by a mysterious force known as the ‘CAL particle’ that turns inanimate calories into food, what are the ethical ramifications of sending it into battle? “It’s interesting that, because you said ‘send it off to die,’ right? This is definitely a conversation we want to develop in the story,” Georgallis teases. “There are definitely going to be characters that question the ethics of fighting with these creatures, getting attached to them and seeing them die kind of hurts. And then if it comes back to life, is it the same thing? So there are questions that we want to develop later on in the story.” It’s certainly a unique spin on the ethics of cooking that we haven’t seen addressed quite in this way before. GladiEATers is currently planned to launch via Steam Early Access by the end of the year, with plans to introduce multiplayer modes including both co-operative play and competitive multiplayer in the future. For now, you can add it to your wishlist if you’re interested. In the meantime, check out more of the best cooking games if you’re feeling peckish, or some other great strategy games for those of you who love the more tactical side of proceedings. Read the full article

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against The Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s incredible vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Curses (Crane Wives)

Ashes, ashes, dust to dust/Tell me I am good enough/Lay my curses out to rest/

All my aching bones are trembling/And I may yet fall apart/Won't you stay with me, my darling/When the war starts in my heart?

Every word I say is kindling/But the smoke clears when you're around/Won't you stay with me, my darling/When my walls start burning down, down, down?

"The singer is falling apart but they'll still jam about it. They're trying so hard to get better, they're failing, and they need support even when recovery feels hopeless. It's a concept I haven't seen explored in a song before. Lots of songs are about someone relying on their partner for emotional support but none explore the darker side of the difficulty of carrying someone else's burdens. Also the clarinet fucks."

"One, is starts out with a jazzy clarinet. The instrumentals of the song is very dance-y. I love the destructive tone of the lyrics, the singer thinking they ruin everything and they're not worthy of love, but still begging You to stay"

"It’s asking for help when you’re at your lowest. It’s the emotion behind the words— it’s one of those songs where the singer puts weight and emphasis on certain lines. Makes the heart go ouughghhghghh. It’s the “duo who’s known each other for a long time and are driving out post-big time conflict” or “emotional climax where there’s no words, only action” scene type of song imo. Also there’s a mad clarinet solo and it’s really good"

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Curses submitted by @dreadful-windandrain + others