#if you saw me tear up
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Hi! I want to start by warning that this will probably be a long rant about how much i love your IFs. But first, I hope you feel better soon!
The first IF of yours i played was the pjo one, which sent me down a rabbit hole of going through the rest of them (still haven't played tcs but i will soon 🤞🏻). It was just BAFFLING how people could be so purposefully ignorant about the concept of fanfiction and accused you over and over of plagiarism like, please go outside and touch grass, clearly the internet has stopped your brain from developing critical thinking.
Anyways, the adaptation was so well done and faithful while also exuding a newness to it that i am very excited to see unravel. I understand at the moment it has been paused (and I don't know if you've addressed why it's no longer up) and i hope with time you can feel comfortable with it again. None of the shit you've gotten was deserved or even understandable but alas, it still happened. As a content creator myself, i truly truly sympathize with you. I hope these words offer some comfort, however small.
Same goes for WLB, but the awe at how descriptive and raw your writing is really peaked through in something of your own creation. I find myself revisiting it and experiencing the exhilaration from my first reading all over again. I can't wait to watch everyone around my mc descend into eldritch madness as they become more and more unhinged. Consequences of my own actions? Never heard of them, i want my mc to go apeshit!
Now, gods where do i start... TBOTYG is *chef's kiss* flawless, i never thought i could become so obsessed with anything with only one part. I awaited the demo with baited breath, already anticipating all the ways you would surprise and impress (and you did). Every choice, every scenario, the way you build your plot and characters, your descriptions (I don't know if you can tell that I'm a little too hung up on the writing aspect of it) of characters and actions and feelings. The amount of work and effort you put into characterization is so very clear and it feels very freeing to have that amount of control over a character that we're supposed to "relate" to (in the context of the narrative, almost as if living vicariously through them). i think that no matter how much time passes, your IFs will remain a staple in the community and every player who finds your gems will feel blessed and changed after playing.
It's gotten to the point I've created a whole google doc of my MC, and made fake ig accounts with interactions (just for myself, to cope with the anticipation) and this is a level of commitment I've only felt with my own OCs and works. In such a short time, your IFs have carved a deep space for themselves in my life. I find myself replaying and going through their official pages religiously even though I've read every post already.
a question! will every LI's gender be chosen individually? I'm wondering because C and D are suitmates, but is it doable if they're different genders? same for mc and V. I'm thinking yes but also wanted to be sure
Honestly very very sorry for the long rant, I'm sure you have better things to do 😭😭 but i had the uncontrollable urge to express my feelings on your art and it took me an entire day of trying to talk myself out of it (i failed).
(also, here's my mc's profile and dm box. her royal highness maxine's ig profile is private btw. going for c route first. Mitică is the romanian diminutive for the name Dimitru, and opsis is an ancient greek concept i thought would fit V)
i’m speechless (sentimentally), dear reader 😭 i still can’t believe some people would take the time out of their day to think about my silly little worlds and the characters in it, less of all like how i’ve written my works. every single time i hit a writer’s block or have the whole doxxing trauma flare up again, i think of quitting but it’s the urge to write stories and the joy of sharing it with everyone that is still keeping me going.
i can’t explain how much your words mean to me because this is what i write for. to have people relate to or identify with or adore the world and characters i’ve built is such a dream within itself. from the bottom of my heart, i am thankful for every single reader who has always been nothing but supportive from day one. if elias has his apple, i have y’all. and no, it doesn’t mean y’all can have my meagre inheritance but it’s the sentiment that counts.
to answer your question, every single LIs gender will be selectable! blackthorne hall has individual bedrooms per suite so y’all will only be sharing the common areas and kitchenette with V while having your own personal space. it’s more like an apartment than a usual college dorm tbh.
oh and please, rant away! i’d love nothing more than to hear about your MCs and the various headcanons, questions, or theories you might have!
(also please knock C down a few pegs, they desperately need it 😔)
#if you saw me tear up#no you diDN’T#my readers are way too lovely#if: the ballad of the young gods#interactive fiction#interactive novel#twine wip#interactive story#sinkingescapist
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This is supposed to be the outfit that "protects" Link from acquiring frostbite pfffttt
Between this top and the mandatory acrylics that come with the new arm, gotta say I'm loving how much Nintendo keeps leaning into GNC Link XD
MINI UPDATE: (Guys, I've already updated this post with the correct info. The "protects" part was supposed to be a joke about how skimpy the outfit was. I didn't realize the outfit gave an attack bonus at first, either. That was it. That was the post. You don't need to keep sending me messages trying to inform me about the frost attack. I know, I promise).
Update I: Just realized they gave him a set of blue acrylics for his left hand
Link really do be out here serving cunt 💅💅✨✨
Update II: Many thanks to the people who pointed out that this outfit gives you a special frost attack when in cold temperature areas, it doesn't actually protect you from the elements. I'll be honest, I am purposely avoiding any guides or walkthroughs for my TotK playthrough (since I'm trying to replicate my BotW experience). When I found the Frostbite Shirt, I was just happy that I finally had a piece of clothing that I thought could protect me from dying of hypothermia (was chugging spicy elixirs like you wouldn't believe) so I didn't notice the attack bonus until a bunch of you pointed it out lol
#radio plays#totk#totk spoilers#tears of the kingdom#totk link#nintendo out here#trying to make us go feral#over more gnc link content#they saw us lose our minds#over vai outfit link#lol and I'm not complaining#idk why the updates i added to the post#aren't showing up for some people#but lol yeah this doesn't protect you from cold temps#just gives you an attack bonus#idk link still looking cunty af to me regardless lol
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put the devil in his place
#raphael bg3#raphael#bg3#baldur's gate 3#digital art#my art#i just think. you know -gestures vaguely-#it's been a long week pass the yaoi or whatever#i just think this is is a good look on him. on his knees - perhaps slightly humiliated - perhaps with tears in his eyes - idk#we love a man who's a little pathetic. babygirl.. meow meow...#IF YOU SAW ME POST THIS AND THEN DELETE IT AND REPOST... PRETEND YOU DIDNT... i hadn't added the bloodied version..#i didnt know if editign the original post would fuck it up so i just panicked deleted it and tried again aahhHHHH#mine
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I just saw one of your fave games is What remains of Edith Finch and I’m so happy! I feel like its a lesser known game but i loved playing through it. I’m so happy to know more than just my small friend group know about this game!
Sorry this isn’t a question. Also want to say that you’re art is amazing and the development of the designs is so interesting to see. Also the way you draw intimate scenes have so much emotion to them. I love the Aj and rarity kissing comic so much, you can just feel their love for each other ;w;
Thank you so much!
I highly, highly, highly recommend What Remains of Edith Finch to anyone interested in narrative game experiences/"walking simulators." It's one of those games that was handcrafted with nothing but love. Every room you explore is just... real. The way the light flows in and makes the colors of the living room, the kitchen, the bedrooms glow. Playing the game is like walking through your childhood home as an adult and seeing how the dust clings to everything you once touched. Also genius-level gameplay mechanics, ones that can make you completely empathetic with the character you're embodying or feel completely complacent in their tragedy. It's really not fair to call it a walking simulator because it's so much more and so much smarter than that.Everyone talks about the fish one.
The theme of death and memory and storytelling and the burden of invisible trauma and self-fulfilling prophecies is so affecting too. The ending made me cry.
#detective-marshmallow#ask me#using this ask to seriously plug edith finch#and to talk about spoilers here#major major major spoilers#because i still think about walter. who saw something so awful and traumatic as a kid that he spend the next 40 years living right under hi#family. and everyone forgot about him#i think about the house. literally aching and creaking with the family's history of strange deaths#i think about sam. who had to grow up in an empty bedroom he once shared with his twin brother. and stare at the partitioned-off side#every single day#i think about edith. who knows she will have a child and knows she will die and continue the family curse but decides to live anyways#god edith didn't even make it to adulthood.#this game tears me up from the inside yet it's so full of love and fantasy and hope#it was honestly really helpful for my death anxiety.#don't fear death. one day you'll go. people will mourn. and then they'll tell stories about you.
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"We may not look like much, but we have power. And we are capable. And so am I. And my heart desires to make a difference."
-Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 105, "Collecting Legends"
#robbie daymond the player you are#i never look at the chat but i did for half a second and saw a woman talking about how her indigenous upbringing taught her to tell stories#and how proud she was of robbie for continuing that oral tradition#and man. that made me tear up#cr spoilers#critteredit#criticalroleedit#dorian storm#critical role#campaign 3#robbie daymond#mine#coriolis#horses#animals#equines#dragons
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taemin doing an impression of jonghyun (x)
#taemin#jonghyun#saw this going around on twt again....might have watched it at least 20 times in a row#when i tell you that taemin is the funniest person in the world...seeing how funny he is now u might agree but let me tell u about taemin#BACK THEN...he would normally be just a quiet little guy but then he would literally do the craziest thing out of nowhere and leave everyon#in shambles (me especially. also jonghyun as you can see in the video above)#anyway his impression of jjong's manner of speaking is so funny bc it is SO ON POINT im literally tearing up watching this again now#also look at jonghyun GIGGLING .#honestly posting this for myself specifically so i can go back when i need to laugh for a bit....#ltm a comedian first a singer dancer artist second
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I asked myself why I failed to notice. It was the first time we'd been apart that long. I found the birthday gifts you prepared for me in my room, from my 18th to my 21st. ...Shut up. I started to think about what you were doing back then. Were you celebrating my birthday all by yourself?
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#chen yi x ai di#ai di x chen yi#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#userrain#uservid#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#do you ever cry about the chen yi that woke up to find ai di gone.#do you ever think about the chen yi that felt ai di's tears on his face and reached up to hold him closer. to comfort him.#who saw & chose in a moment the true ai di that had always been by his side then lost him in the next. & woke up to learn it was his fault#cuz i think about the chen yi during ai di's prison time a lot. i think about him going over so many of his memories#reevaluating ai di's anger and teasing and realizing it was all heartbreak. THAT IT WAS ALL HEARTBREAK.#the guilt...the desperation & need to get through to ai di so he never makes him feel that way again. understanding that he loves ai di too#the way he gently touches ai di's hands and face here... he tied him up to keep him from running but hes being so earnest and SO careful#with ai di's pain & ai di's love. his expressions & the way he takes deep breaths before admitting things out loud like its clear#hes thinking hard abt what he wants to say and how he wants to say it. bc he has to make ai di understand how much he means this#how much he misses him. how much he wants to make this right. how he wants & needs to be by ai di's side forever bc he loves him!#he loves him!!!!!!!!! GOD. i love chen yi.
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"Wait for me in the woods, dear Gav. I love you."
GAVIN CREEL as Cinderella's Prince & JASON FORBACH as Rapunzel's Prince in INTO THE WOODS
#gavin creel#jason forbach#into the woods#gavin / ‘ the dust of the stars in his eyes ‘#jason shared such a beautiful tribute to him; it just made me tear up all over again#all those lives he saved... imagine having such a legacy#and he was soooo good as cinderella's prince! people said he was miscast and only in this part for sara but i disagree#if you saw him do kodaly you knew he'd be perfect as cinderella's prince#and that voice! such inspired casting#*#*gifs
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I beat Veilguard.
It's 4am. I'm a mess. I'm in tears.
#datv spoilers#the moment that completely broke me#''Ich entlasse Euch aus meinen Diensten''#Ar lasa mala revas#you are free#and so am I.. I feel like I've ascended from Solavellan Hell to Solavellan Heaven after ten flippin years#I think an embrace would have hit me even harder than a kiss at the end.. but it was just done so beautifully#I've always had one wish for Solas' story regardless of all the speculation and theories made over the years#and that was for him to find peace#so these are mostly tears of joy#I'm too overwhelmed to find the right words now#this game had many glaring problems to me but I still had a great time and there are many things to love#and maybe I mourn the potential of what could have been#the Veil still being up is.... very unexpected to say the least?#but Act 3 was incredible and god did that ending hit all the right spots for me#it's so strange to say ''goodbye'' to a character that you've been thinking about for so long#but I'm so thankful to have closure now#my heart is full#you know what's crazy?#right after that final cutscene ended I saw that it had actually started to snow outside for the first time this season#snow symbolizes purity or something right?#and that just made me think of how Solas used to envy Sera for her purity of purpose that he lacked#I like to think he regained it now#thinking about a little Wisdom spirit#hmm#I don't think I can sleep now#I think I'll just watch the snow a little more
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I love how ominous such basic names like "The Organization" or "The Institute" or "The Initiative" or "The Facility" or etc. are when placed in like a shady sci-fi context, like there's no reason for them to sound that suspicious, but without elaboration, it's like here is a place where they are doing things™ and I am like ooohh, because the blank state, the refusal to give you any more detail makes you think they're hiding something on purpose and leaves the darkest corner of the imagination left to fill in the rest.
#writing#writeblr#names#i want to give my shady research facilities in my stories actual names but some part of me is like#you'll never get the level of unease you get from just naming it the institute rather than the x institute or something#sci-fi#other genres i guess too but usually sci-fi#the barn in haven why is that the scariest sounding thing ever like?#you just know that thing ain't a barn#it is a barn physically outside but oh the creep factor that name gives i can't explain#the shop in firestarter? like f*ck it conjures up images of a workshop and saws building and tearing apart people for some reason#the initiative in buffy it's so nondescript and unassuming just like its soldiers living among the campus and the military power they hold#etc etc etc you know#mayhaps i am not creative enough to come up with better names also mayhaps
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Y'ALL NEED TO SEE THIS PANEL
#Mobius will be the one to save him!#because he ended up very sad#But from what we saw on the series Mobius can push his feelings inside#maybe Deadpool can make him admit how much he misses loki??#LET ME DREAM#I still can't bear the hopelessness Tom Hiddleston left me with when he said that his journey as Loki had ended#YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT#ofc u can I'm just rambling I'm heartbroken and sad#btw someone on Quora answering a question about whether or not Asgard was linked to time or not used that panel#so I don't have the source of the specific comic I just know it's Thor I'm sorry#loki#lokius#loki x mobius#mobius m mobius#agent mobius#thor#thor comics#marvel cinematic universe#marvel loki#we all not it won't be Sylvie shedding that tear#loki season two#loki series#loki season 2
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Seeing as the Gerudo turned on Ganon, he might not have been that much better of a ruler.
First of all, we literally have no idea, because the only ancient Gerudo that we actually get to interact with is Ganondorf himself, and he has nothing to say about his own people. The ancient Gerudo sage doesn't count btw, she doesn't have a name, we never even see her face, and she has literally nothing to say except repeating the exact same dialogue as the sages for the other races. The narrative does not treat the ancient sages as people; they are four completely interchangable weapons that are owned by the royal family.
And secondly, I don't care how Ganon ruled them; the Gerudo only get one man every century, if their king sucks, they've obviously got their own system of government to fall back on. I have no idea what kind of authority the sages had among their own people, but honestly I'd say if the four of them were in charge of their respective people, then they were just puppet rulers appointed by Rauru, given that all four of them happily agreed that to sell their entire race into servitude the second Zelda asked them. Say what you will about Ganondorf, but I fucking know that if he was told the Gerudo people existed for the sole purpose of serving the glory of Hyrule, he'd drop kick Zelda into the fucking sun.
And don't get me started on the implications of the cultural differences we see between the independent Gerudo and the annexed Gerudo. The background Gerudo characters all have their own models, and we can clearly see that the ones siding with Ganon have their own unique looks - for example, the amazing lady with the mohawk that summons the molduga swarm in that one flashback. And men are never mentioned in these flashbacks at all, which implies that the Gerudo genuinely didn't care about settling down. Ganon even speaks derisively about marriage, implying that it's very rare for Gerudo women to make serious romantic commitments with men. It implies that their culture is more along the same line as their portrayal in OOT - they are a closed culture. Men trying to force their way into their areas are arrested, and mocked for being entitled dumbasses. Outsiders are only welcome if they can prove that they respect the Gerudo as people, and aren't just there to try and pick up chicks. It's never outright said, but OOT also makes it pretty clear that the Gerudo women just aren't interested in marrying outsiders - close relationships occur with other Gerudo, Hylian men are only considered useful for making babies.
Meanwhile the Gerudo we see serving Hyrule are all trying to measure up to Hylian beauty standards, and appeal to their men. Their one goal in life is to meet a man and get married. Men are welcome in their lands, and only kept out of the town itself... and even then, there's a small army of guys trying to force their way into the town anyways, which is brushed off as just haha, boys will be boys. No men allowed isn't even about independence, it's just a silly romantic tradition.
Of course this is just a fictional culture in a game world, but it's still really fucking uncomfortable that the 'evil' Gerudo are the ones that have independence, both politically and socially, and display a unique culture that refuses to tolerate disrespect from outsiders. Meanwhile the 'good' Gerudo are the ones that canonically exist to serve a kingdom where 95% of the population is light skinned (even setting aside the unfortunate implications, just saying one race exists to serve a different one is super fucked up), they have classes on how to be more appealing to Hylian's, and their entire social structure is built around finding a Hylian man to marry, making them all inherently dependent on the goodwill of outsiders. Even their biggest value of 'women only' is treated as a joke; men trying to trespass in BOTW are just shoved back out the door, letting them keep trying all day if they want. The crowds of men plotting to force their way in are laughed off as a joke. Nobody cares that there's a guy running laps around their city walls and trying to trick women into being alone with him. I mean for fucks sake, in TOTK we find that the creepy guy trying to lure women away has taken advantage of a massive disaster to get into the town, and he's still there once things return to normal. You can't kick him out, or alert anyone to his presence. And the Gerudo just tolerate Hylians blatantly ignoring their boundaries. For fucks sake, TOTK even reveals that the seven legendary heroines they've been revering the whole time were actually completely useless and unable to achieve anything... because they needed the eighth hero, a Hylian man to teach them basic tactics and do all the heavy lifting.
TOTK does not respect the Gerudo people in the slightest. It doesn't respect anyone who isn't Hylian or Zonai.
...This got a little off track, but the point I'm trying to make is, no, I don't consider the Gerudo turning on Ganon to mean anything. The entire game does not feel like the real story of what happened, it feels like the propaganda version of history meant to make Hyrule look as good as possible. I genuinely cannot believe that we're being told the real story about the Imprisoning War, because none of it feels real, and we don't get to know any details that might have made Hyrule look even slightly imperfect. We're told that Ganondorf is evil because he hates Hyrule, and he hates Hyrule because he's evil. The Gerudo people followed Ganondorf and saw him as a hero of their people, then suddenly he was their worst enemy. Hyrule is a perfect kingdom that has strong, equal alliances with the other races, but also all of the non-Hylian races exist for the sole purpose of serving Hyrule, and their leaders are expected to swear eternal loyalty and submission to the Hylian royal family. King Rauru and Queen Sonia united all of the races in peace and equality, which is why they're sitting on the world's supply of magical nuclear missiles, and every member of the Hylian royal family is allowed to walk around wearing them as cute accessories, but everyone else only gets them at the last second, and they all need to outright swear to only use that power to benefit Rauru and his descendants.
There's just so many fucked up contradictions, and so many hints of something more nuanced going on... but the story refuses to acknowledge any of it, and just keeps aggressively pushing the narrative that Hyrule is the ultimate good and couldn't possibly do anything wrong. I don't even believe that Ganon was a bad king honestly; we never hear why his people stopped following him. We also never even see if the Gerudo people turned on him at all; all we know is the ancient Gerudo sage wanted him dead, and given that she also happily sold her people into slavery, she's not exactly the most trustworthy source of information. All we know is that Ganondorf was a hero to his people, only one of his citizens is ever shown having an issue with him (and her motives are never explained), and then he lost the war and was sealed away, leaving his people open to be conquered by Zelda and annexed into Hyrule. By the time we see any Gerudo actually opposing Ganon (apart from the ancient sage), it's been ten thousand years since the war, and all anyone knows is the Hylian version of the story.
#tears of the kingdom spoilers#tears of the kingdom#ganondorf#the secret bonus reason for me arguing about this so much is that it's interesting#on a surface reading TOTK is a really boring story. nothing changes nobody learns anything there's no nuance#the game explains the entire story to us in the opening cutscene. idk why they bothered with the rest of the game#you could walk down those stairs in the intro and kill ganon immediately and it'd be pretty much the exact same story#if i take the game at face value then there's literally nothing to talk about. i just straight up do not care.#but analyzing all the fucked up implications nintendo accidentally included? now thats a story to talk about#i dont think ganondorf is secretly a really nice guy. i think he's more interesting if he's actually a complete bastard#but he's a complete bastard that has a point and if the game wont acknowledge that then i will#sure the people he's fighting against seem nice. but they're not actually good people#i mean ffs zelda certainly doesnt seem concerned that she last saw link taking a fatal blow for her then jumping into a bottomless pit#she doesn't even consider that he might be dead. or just unable/unwilling to fight after being horrifically wounded#at least BOTW had the decency to ask Link if he was willing to risk his life to fight ganon
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Crimson Phantom: the one that gfkion got me
Flashback to my old yakutier list: in the top tier, you'll notice that one of these is not like the others:
SO WHAT IS IT DOING THERE????????
Perhaps the reason Crimson Phantom R5 ranks so high is cuz of the PERSONAL HISTORY i got with it. The straw that broke the fish's back? the last drop of water that makes the cup run over and spill onto my socks MOST iRRITATINGLY?Hm. Maybe. Prepare yourself for the longest post yet:
Let me give you a timeline...
May 2022: start playing nuca during Mystical Banquet. First SSR is Endless Banquet Garu. I am intrigued by his musculature and adorable puppy eyes. July 2022: Idol Fest. I only care about Olivine. Captain Oli is the one SSR i get, and i am exceedingly happy. October 2022: Eerie Escapade. I pull for Garu, but get 3 Yakumos. I am bitter and ignore him entirely. November 2022: I don't have many SSRs, so I consider building my 2-star vampire yaku. This would involve unlocking his rooms for the stat boost. I ask Friend A, who also plays nuca, what his rooms are like. Friend A says "it was roleplay cringe but free' I respond, "i expected as much" and do not build up vampire yaku. December 2022: I get Friend B to start playing nuca. Since we live together, it is very easy to spark impromptu , impassioned nuca discussions in the middle of the kitchen. February 2023: Friend B discovers the main menu- Past Events and Galleria, most notably. Their eyes sparkle as they look thru the events they missed. "When did you start playing?" they ask. "Since THIS event." i say, pointing to the Mystical Banquet banner. "Can I see who you have?" I give them my phone. They express mild awe as they scroll. We continue life as usual. March 2023: Friend B gets Spring Chaos Edmond and i am JEALOUS. I say so- regularly and loudly. During one such griping session, this occurs:
Me: you JUST started playing . you cannoT be destroying me in the rolls like this!!! i'm getting NOTHING!! Friend: but you have so many units that I don't! That I didn't even have a chance to get!!! Me: none of them are Beautiful Bride Edmond??!!! Friend: BUT YOU HAVE VAMPIRE YAKUMO Me: ?????????? so??? Friend: GOD HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND I'M SO SAD I MISSED HIM Me: you can have him. he's not doing anything over here. i wanted garu!! Friend: YOU HAVEN'T EVEN UNLOCKED HIS ROOMS? THAT'S NOT FAIR. GIVE HIM TO ME. I'LL TREAT HIM RIGHT Me: i wish i could dude i wish i could
Please imagine the utmost confusion on my face the moment my friend equated Bride Edmond's beauty to Vampire Yakumo's.
Because,, from the moment I started nuca, I had zero interest in yakumo's general aesthetic. I was long soured off the vibes due to an extensive history of dating sims shoving a Certain Guy into my face:
"Certain Guy AKA 1st potential love interest is imperious red/black guy who's also kinda the True Ending so we're only giving you the illusion of free will and you will be disappointed by the lack of care we give to other routes compared to this guy. You wanted a character that wasn't him? HAHAHA nah that nobody dies in a ditch offscreen. You were SUPPOSED to fall in love with the 1st guy we showed you and find his attitude problems attractive for the rest of your blissfully coupled life." (The freshest wound at the time was Nobunaga from that Specific branch of the ike series)
Butbutbut!! Yakumo is not imperious??? He's nothing like what you're describing??
Yes, dear reader, your assessment is fair. UNfORtUNATeLY, I'm a shallow ho and just the LOOK of his redblack skeleton embroidery was enough to repel me. The only thing that kept Yakumo in the Neutral zone was that his story self was Wibbly.
Looking at VAMPIRE yakumo, however... This was not wibbly. Here, with his hair slicked back and his torso seemingly widened and his generic bishonen-vampire-halloween-cosplay ...... it irked me. I did not like it. This look was everything I hated about those redblack domineering types haunting my past. The one interesting thing about yakumo (his wibble. his personality subversion of the aggro trope) and they GOT RID OF IT? Nah. I'm not into it. I refuse it out of principle.
I was steadfast in my dismissal of vampyaku for months.. But that was because I played alone- without outside influence.
Then that March conversation with Friend B happened.
SUDDENLY, SOMEONE introduces the POSSIBILITY that YAKUMO in THIS form can be attractive? Huh? Seriously? People think that?Legitimately never occurred to me. Unfortunately, my friend's words are in my head now.
During that convo (a convo which, unbeknownst to me, caused the first cracks in the healthy moderation i held for this game), i jokingly offered to unlock vampire yaku's rooms so my friend could watch them. A peace offering. "PLEASE!!!!!", they yelled,, with effusive sincerity.
Ah... well now I had to commit...
Determined to give my friend a Nice Thing, I threw excess knives at yakumo in my spare time. "I might as well unlock these rooms, and see how bland they are, and maybe sorta achieve vindication when I show them to my friend and they find out how Not Worth It vampire yakumo is compared to bride edmond" (I am fueled by spite and pettiness.)
thus, with time... ROOM 1 UNLOCKED!
Yakumo is wallowing again. Nothing new. He's handling the new cooking duties well, though. Good for him! Eiden is perceptive and wonderful, as usual... ah, eiden, beloved eiden.....i adore him and all the Sense he brings to these traumatised clan members ☺ Oop, there they go! initiating the cliche roleplay! Biting. Blood. Yep. Guess we're doing this.
AND NOW WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT ROOM 2
I was so self-satisfied when i unlocked R2. I mean, i wasn't going to show my friend until i unlocked EVERYTHING, but so far? From what I saw? this ain't it. this is SAD. this is... so very unsexy.
the only thing anchoring me to the present while watching this room was eiden's cheeky self. As Friend A remarked long ago, this was indeed cringe roleplay (but eiden is free).
I'm not very adept at voice reading/recognition, but i still felt something was up with yaku's voice. Meaning, it was different. he was REALLY laying it on heavy... It being the Role? Where was his tremulous soft voice? Naaaaaah, here in R2 we got yaku DROPPING octaves like they're on fire and affecting a drawl that...i think... is supposed to add to the seductive dangerous mood? i think? i'm really not good at parsing the horny from the Not fjkdrhgdu
with every extended vowel leaking thru yaku's fangs MY ANTI-NOBUNGA DEFENSES ARE BRISTLING yaku is REALLY playing it [Count Drakumo] up and he is NOT himself and, wait, he's spiralling? ooohhhhhh ok this is not good this is not fun he is not having fun
yes ok we've been over this my boner is dead killed by sadness that's just me not everybody is like me and i should let ppl like what they like MOVING ON
ROOM 3: OOOh Girl How they gonna react after THAT disastrous scene Woah!
Yakumo, angry???? Standoffish???? REfusing to be near Eiden? Interesting.... I mean. No! Not interesting! There's nothing interesting about vampire yakumo! Cliche as hell!!! Conventionally decent-lookin whatever-man is growling and hiding his face in a shadowy corner while saying things like "oh i'm a horrible monster .who could truly love me?!" and "stay away!! i'll only hurt you!!!"
Eiden: starts spouting truths about how the perception of "bad" and "undesirable" traits don't negate an entire person's positive traits and that someone's value can't be determined by such rigid thinking
Me: dammit eiden. stop making sense. i'm trying to hold a grudge here .............i'm starting to get hungry...
ROOM 4: OOPS I LOVE EIDEN AGAIN
I LOVE YOU EIDEN AND READING THIS ROOM MADE ME LOVE YOU EVEN MORE yakumo is, once again, spiralling in his self-hatred. i, on the other side of the screen, am getting weary. tbh, if you asked me to react to yakumo in real time, i would not know how to behave appropriately. i probably would have dismissed his concerns in some way (empty reassurances or bored ignoring).
but eiden??? ebeatutiiful emotionally UNconstipated FULL OF EMPATHY FIBRE eiden? candid... communicative... accepting yet not encouraging the dark thought patterns. . a self-aware king...
so when eiden gets in front of that mirror to demonstrate the self-talk "training":
I AM SO ENDEARED AND IM LO IBVE UHJIJM....
When Eiden gives yaku a chance to try, poor snakey doesn't know what to say. So Eiden whispers all these nice words and affirmations while standing behind yaku, expecting him to repeat them outloud THEN OF COURSE THE SILLY GUY ESCALATES TO HORNY AND I HAVE TO 🤣🤣🤣
ok, i'll begrudgingly admit... pretty cute interaction... and funny... if there's one way to win me over it's The Funny... how dare. how dare this room make me smile. I'm having a little giggle. Over a Yakumo room. THANKS eiden. For injecting humour into anything and making everything seem more tolerable...
After the practice run, Yaku ends up spilling his actual fears about his dual natures... but eiden insists that he can handle both.
yaku: if i think these dark thoughts does that make me a bad person eiden: well we all have layers n stuff so go wild yaku: if. if i. wanna lock u away all for myself and gnaw on your bones forever and keep u attached to my skin like an anglerfish absorbs mates into their flesh. will u hate me??? eiden: girl let your freak flag fly. i can take u ;););)
OKAY. SO MAYBE I CAN SORT OF SEE THE POTENTIAL FOR *NOT-AS-SAD* HORNY. THIS IS QUITE NICE (i comment mildly, gesturing to the emotional catharsis and deepening your understanding of another person). Now that yaku is emboldened in uh, being himself? all versions of himself? let's see how boinking is gonna go. hopefully it will be quite the departure from R2's struggle hours...
FUFIOKIN. ROOM 5: BANE OF MY EXISTENCE
The FIRST thing that strikes me when the room starts is
EIDEN YOU ARE SO HOT WHAT TH BRWOIJAOIEWFSKAESFKJLFEA?
INIPPL?
EIDEN'S HANDS? I'M BITING THEM? LET ME BITE THEM??? Yeah so i'm just staring at eiden displayed proudly in the mirror and a bird could probably land in my mouth with how it was hanging open, thinking, "yall know how to lewd your protagonist, nuca.... respect....." i'm distracted, but i need to move the room along so
.? ⚠! (ALERT NOISE) (ping!) the only yakumo room i've unlocked at this point is the OG SSR/Story H. i may have seen idol r2, too. so my current image of yakumo at this point is: -wet -crying -subby little baby
therefore, him saying he's GOING TO TEASE EIDEN causes my brow to upturn. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 really? really, yakumo? YOU? are you even capable of doing that? can you do more than one thing [be wet baby]? i doubt it. these games always choose one niche for a character and stick to it... you caNNOT drift into switchery. try it i dare u (<- famously lesser-known last words)
eiden, in line with "i can take all of you", responds that he likes both. and btw, this ain't one-sided. he warns that he's about to weaponise bottoming again. if yakumo thinks he can just lead eiden around, lolollololo l good luck. my boy's gonna squeeze him dry (seriously. i have zero faith in yakumo's ability to stay in control of any situation)
OK! so! they're fukin *mundane hand gesture. rollin it along*
yakumo slows his roll and is all, actually, part of the fun is looking at you confused and needy :3 so he's going at a super lax pace and adjusting his dick angle and some other tactical penis feint that's edging eiden into horny frustration
as if i'm cheering on my fave racehorse, i start YELLING when eiden ~~snatches back the reins~~~~
WEAPONISE! 👏THAT!! 👏BOTTOM!!!!!!!👏🏭🎬ATTABOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!📣📣📣🔊📢🔊🎖🥳📣🔊📢
wait what ........HOW HAS HE NOT LOST IT? if eiden went off on me like that, uhhhhhhhhhhh hahahaha rest in pesis i'm losing immediately but... crybaby.... is holding it together? in fact, he somehow TAKES CONTROL AGAIN??????? THET F ????
idk guess i'm shocked with processing another side of yakumo that i didn't expect,, i avoided yakumo because his look served potential for "2000s toxic seme" energy. but i tolerated him because his ACTUAL personality was NOT That. yet... now he's showing that exact domineery junk and i'm ..ok with it? Is it specifically because i've only seen him be pathetic in every other room?!
i'm just gonna...a. take a moment here to... maybe sort of understand the predicament i'm in along with my growing . something. admiration? for yakumo. uhhh.... hmmmm..........
yeah ok whatever people can be freaks about nipples i guess
SHIT I FORGOT HE HAS COLD HANDS . SHIT. I FORGOT I LIKE COLD HANDS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M INTO THAT?
NOT THE NECK BITING AGAIN AHAHAHAHAAHHAHHA FOR REAL?????? VAMPIRE COSPLAY SERIOUS????? (<- my voice has gone an octave higher as i start panic laughing)
i don't know why i didn't expect that here. do i just not think ahead? it's stupid count drakumo. of course he's gonna suck blood. at least twice. maybe the rest of you saw it coming, and rolle dyour eyes. ahahaha, how very trite. how very standard.
did the active shattering of my preconceived yakumo.png weaken me THAT much? was i sudddenly swept up into the revelation thata game was Finally going beyond the yaoi dichotomy? to make someone subby AND dommy? Was i SO swept up that the "cringe vampire roleplay" bypassed my eyerolling sensor?!?!?!
i've got a single nervous bead of sweat making its way down my back and it's cuz of the very simple combo of hole/temperature/neck
so while i'm taking another impromptu wary pause , stewing at how DEVASTATED i may or may not be idk whatever it's not a big deal that the neck bite isn't shown on screen
LOGIC: that makes sense. animating and drawing that separate pose in this setup would be way too much work for 2 sentences. HORNY: TEAR INTO HIM. SUCK HIM DRY. LET ME
SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
yeah for real. I'M feeling attacked right now. eiden trying his best not to splort from the three-pronged feel-up (struggling like an amorous salmon up a waterfall) when suDNDEnly
......?
*RECORD SCRATCH* ?!?!?!?!?!??!?????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!!!!!??????????????????????? ?????!?!?!?!?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????E?!?FKFOO>>>>?VFF??A""????":??"??????!?!!??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
👆
WHAT WAS THAT?
*runs into the adjacent room like it's a reality tv privacy booth* *slams the door and stares incredulously at the camcorder* *points toward the room i just left*
IS THAT ALLOWED?
Is Yakumo legally allowed to say "fuck"?????
*falls into a hushed and baffled whisper* i don't have enough Japanese comprehension to parse exactly what yakumo said oh god i wish i had the comprehension is this a translator liberty? is it real? because if the original speech was actually more reserved but the translators were like "bro that ain't sexy. just write FUCK"?? i guess that wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility? but if yakumo legitimately said "fuck" ...... AND dropped the honorific from eiden's name?! .......... huh! ohhhhhhhh *ruffles my hair out of confusion* did he really say that? i mean ok he's a grown ass snan i shouldnt ' be scandalised like i hear d an infant say FUCK as its first word , 11 months out of the womb ....... *deep breath* ok. don't dwell on it. gotta return to the task at hand. *steadfastly turns the doorknob and returns to my previous location*
so eiden looks like what i feel right now (in the key of: !?!?!?) thankfully the surprise doesn't last long in the face of his shamelessness (blessed be eito), so he tries to repeat after yakumo but yakumo's drilling him so hard that brain mysgh muysh can't really... speak..prororperly
SUHUT THE FUCCK UP YAKUMO I'VE NEVER BEEN SO OFFENDED BY SUCH A SHORT SENTENCE GO AWAY WITH YOUR THIRTY SHADES OF COUNT DOMKUMO PARADING IN HERE THINKIN YOU CAN DISH OUT ORDERS LIKE THSI WHEN YOU'R E NORMALLY A SOBBING MESS BY NOW=====----
*pinches in between my brows* uueugh...... eiden doesn't get to finish his task but they go at it until the screen goes white with that powerful SPLOOSH we all know and love
and yakumo FINALLY breaks character getting juiced released a bit of his control i guess we hear an "uhu" at last. he uses his pathetic wibble to ask eiden for more because he's still hard. of course he is...... mans is never done.......dick ouroboros with the way he never ends.......
BUT THEN EIDEN PULLS A FACE THAT GRABS MY ENTIRE BRAIN AND FLOODS ME WITH SO MUCH AFFECTION
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY JUST LOOK AT HIM SLUTTY BLEP i was having an out-of-body experience i was suddenly going over every BL i've ever played and how none of the protags were ever this unabashedly INTO IT (of course we are only here because we build upon the foundations of our gay ancestors THANK YOU GAYASS SPIRITS OF YORE , ) BUT! i'm experiencing a grand realisation of how far we've come and how eiden being a slutty versatile dweeb enriches my life to untold measures and his stupid cute little ;P thirsty look is going to sustain me for years and also i love it so much i'm going to screenshot it and keep it in my gallery just so i can look at it whenever i think about homophobia existing ever . i love u eiden get that dick and hole forever💖
now that yakumo is all vulnerable and Himself and freed from his edgy persona , he's just pounding into eiden liek 🥺 i'm just a normal snokai right? 🥺😥 so it's ok to act the way i truly want to❓ you'll accept all of me? 😖 i'm not a horrible irredeemable monster ?? 😧💦 you still want me? here?? with you???🥺🥺🥺 i'm allowed to make you feel good??😢?😭?😥 of course eiden affirms all this with a big moany yes (in surprisingly eloquent words despite the state of his anus)
and to top it all off, the room provides a full circle of plot by letting eiden complete his failed "repeat after me" task from before..- with a horny addendum about how he can't get enough of yakumo's dirty expressions, because of course our boy has to get the last word.
ahhh,,, like an epic movie,, it all comes together. loose ends tied and fucklines affirmed. tasks fulfilled; pervert's journey complete;; we, the audience, can go home with satisfied closure.
after-credits sceNe: when the post-nut clarity hits yakuei, i am brick'd with overwhelming concern about eiden's leg. how has it NOT cramped this entire time, being held up like that.? what was that? at least 15 minutes?! of lifting up one leg and spreading it so wide? damn, boy, is ya potassium that powerful? no calf cramps? nothing? eiden your sexual athleticism is unrivalled. i am in awe.
Note!
When i first watched these rooms, I didn't have headphones. Months later, i finally got to watch the scenes WITH SOUND. and i was so very pleased to hear that yakumo's voice in R5 was a nice middle ground between his suuuuper drawly heavy cosplay mode R2 angstvoice,, and his regular uhuu soft voice. it's definitely more himself, but with the added confidence of roleplaying ehuehue so it's just nice!! to hear him being more secure in himself!! and enjoying the situation!! but also teasing eiden and enjoying the power plays?? yay! near the end he returns almost fully to his regular voice due to , you know, whiny pleady 🥺 feels-too-good things afoot and that just .... upped the affection for me.... ugh... so he CAN do both......
in future watches, i eventually take the time to look at yakumo's face instead of eiden's. . .
and i do NOT like where my subsequent thoughts go
oh no he's hot.......................
WE RETURN TO REALITY. IT IS SOME TIME BETWEEN MARCH AND MAY (2023). I HAVE AT LAST UNLOCKED ALL OF CP YAKUMO'S ROOMS. I AM IN MY ROOM AND I AM SHOOKETHED. Shortly, I seek out Friend B, the catalyst for this train of horror and realisation. I tell them the task is done. Eventually, i give them my phone so they can watch their beloved vampire yakumo rooms. I couldn't even hand it over with the derisive scoff I THOUGHT I would show. the look of absolute dismissal that used to appear whenever someone mentioned crimson phantom yakumo. No, i handed it over with thinly concealed amusement . perhaps even excitement, that someone would soon share in something that so pleasantly surprised me. A part of me wished for them to return my phone with a disappointed "tch". to tell me that, oh, that wasn't very good after all. you were right. i could have missed out on vampire yakumo and lost nothing. Unfortunately, they returned my phone later that evening . their eyes glittered with the glee of someone whose hopes were beautifully fulfilled. "OH MY FUCKING GOD I KNEW it was gonna be amazing!", they bubbled. "Yeah." is all i could say... . I spend the following weeks slowly falling victim to yakumo's charms. By June, I am putting up posters of him all over my room while talking about how much i hate him.
SUMMARY: like nuca itself, it started as a joke and now the quences have conned. i'm suffering the cussions, reperfully. eiden did NOT help. he was beautiful and amazing from every angle and that added to the positive associations with these rooms,, and by extension, yakumo. and now? now i hate this snakeboy for what's he's done to me. i'm p sure he's actively moving the goalposts on my preferences as i type. i'm scared. he has too much power . that this mushy noodle would subvert tropes by following the old kabedon-seme script then DO IT AGAIN by hitting me with the SUBVERT REVERSE BEAM #2 and now i dream about railing him under the moonlight.
it was all downhill from that accursed roleplay. eiden's a gayteway drug. he fkoin got me. and now yakumo's got me too
#if any of you actually make it through this entire post#it'll feel like you just took a thorough psychic reading of my brain and tbh i fear for this new level of mental link#if you saw me immediately after my first playthru of r5#i would have been angrily kicking up the papers all over my floor and tearing apart pillows#barking indignantly about how some boring-ass touching and basic bitch dirty talk#and bitey roleplay did me in#well....... you can't help what kicks you behind your knees and leaves you for dead on the cold sandy floor.....#nu carnival yakumo
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I am filled with HATE and SORROW y'all know how like Nurm is my favourite character my number 1 guy out of any piexe of media ever I love him dearly which sucks cause he's pretty unpopular but whatever whatever. N I'm like "man I really want to see some new Nurm content but everything I find I've either seen before or I created ☹️" and then I. I go on tiktok and I KEEP seeing edits that start with a clip with Nurm in them and then haha surprise it's actually a Petra edit!! Cause it's ALWAYS PETRA GOD DAMN IT and I love her. I love Petra so much. She is a fabulous character but ohm y god I am tweaking. I genuinely started crying y'all I am not sane nor normal. I'm so normal about him. Oh my good god I am going insane I am 💥💥💥💥
#I envy people who's favourite characters are like. Lukas or Petra or Jesse. Y'all don't know how good you have it#At least I can confidently say I'm one of Nurm's biggest fans. You guys can't say that without a fight breaking out aha ha#HRGAHSBSJSJSNNSN#Actually losing it#Scampering about#Ignore this I'm just#ARG 💥💥💥💥#No cause I saw a post that was super funny but the screenshot used had like. Nurm's left leg in the foregriund and I started tearing up#My period is coming I can sense it there's no other explanation for this madness#Is somebody gonna match my freak? (Going genuinely feral for a guy with like 2 fans)#I don't know the term for this attachment. Cause it's not a normal person thing I'm 90% sure it's the autism#But I don't know enough about villagers to consider this a special interest and it's too long to be a hyper fixation#(even though I am very fixated and it is tearing me up inside)#This is why I tweak so bad in the tags of Nurm art sometimes I genuinely start crying g and scratching my phone like a rabbit animal#Rabid not rabbit.#minecraft story mode#mcsm#mcsm nurm#nurm mcsm#There are no emojis nor words that accurately depict my current state#I'm normal I'm normal I swear please I'm normal
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Oh my FUCKING God.
#will wood#im#jesus christ why is he#im tearing up#i#hes so#what the fuck is this pretty princess face#heeeeee#im in love. witb him#i think#sigh.......#found on pinterest in case u wonder no idea what the spurce is#i saw the picture snd felt a cupid hutting me on the head with a piano#sorry weird rambling#hes like if a cute little bird that you see on the branch by your window once and never again was a person#staring at you tilting his head then turning away and wooosh. gone#bye bye pretty little sparrow ..
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Doing this to you and then running away hehehe >:3
Bonk! Hehehe, that's such a cute gif, we should be cats together, no responsibilities for you. You'd be a ginger car. Cause you're Irish. And I'm stereotyping you.
Also! Idk how I even got this fucked up but I just woke up at one AM with the light still on and one shoe on in my bed.
I've just spent like 5minyes explaining my dream in the tags and I replaced 'where' with 'were' two times so if you're going to read the novel I wrote be wary of that. Loll this post is a mess, goodnight Charlie!! I love you!
#I'd been having the same dream over and over too#like seeing the same events#It was a stranger things dream#were like we (me and somebody I don't know but at some point it was wybie from Coraline) were tearing through a fabric wall with chainsaws#and a demogorgon- like creature ended up cut apart because of it#and the reveal of the creature being split from both sides was one thing that kept repeating#just at some points in the dream I came back to the image of it without the fabric wall#just falling after it's died#also there was another part#were at first (this one detail happened only once compared to the other times that it repeated and it wasn't on the first repeat but it's#CHRONOLOGICALLLY the first thing)#there was this sort of enigma?#and the clock showed two specific hours#the riddle thing didn't make sense but like we solved it even though I can't remember specifics#and it was to save a guy#and there was my brother at that point and some lady told him 'oh but you like this kind of roleplaying thing' and he got mad cause#like we were trying to stop some guy from being killed#and the part of the dream that repeated was this thing were like this door thing? or I guess it was just a wooden slate would push me#or somebody else on its own#like it'd press against you to push you towards the bad stuff ™#there was a moment where I put rocks in my bag? to avoid it being flung and moved the same way as the door#bc yeah it was some creature moving the stuff though we never saw it like telepathically#but it didn't really work because the creature wasn't aware of the rocks? and apparently it needed to be aware there were rocks in the bag#also at some point there was one girl in the house we were in (this was during one of the repeats of the dream's storyline)#and she was being voodoo'd around bc the creature was telepathically moving a coraline doll and it would shove her around#and that's all I can really remember#sorry I just woke up from it so it might not make sense#you don't have to read all dat#answered asks
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