#i love church men
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what if i'll turn your priest into a party priest (he doesn't even know how to hold a sword)
#fire emblem#fire emblem engage#pandreo#i love church men#putting my two fave things together#i've been cooking this for MONTHS#pandreo dressed as ky (guilty gear) truly the vision ever#also a good excuse to give him a ponytail
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committing all possible crimes being bisexual consumer of ao3 fanfiction cannibalism as a metaphor for love and homoeroticism old man yaoi queerbaiting tv shows with homoaffective subtext hozier sufjan stevens good omens christianism.
#once i read smut in the church#bisexuality#ao3#fanfiction#cannibalism as a metaphor for love#old men yaoi#homoerotism#queerbaiting#hozier#sufjan stevens#hannibal lecter#hannibal nbc#hannigram#johnlock#tomgreg#butchie#lawrusso#hilson#stony#destiel#cherik#finnpoe#stormpilot#spirk#merthur#nandermo#inneffable husbands#azicrow#benthan#jwight
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I love the juice bar scene as much as the next person. I especially love the juice bar scene in conjunction with the confession.
And yeah, the "I'm straight" is chekov's gun, and the chemistry between Eddie and father Brian too. I love the meta/spec/headcanons!
That's not what I want to talk about. Instead, I want to talk about how sensitive Father Brian has been to Eddie's needs. He offered Bobby help in the church, face to face, and that worked for Bobby because he's a religious man. Eddie went to confession, and got his grievances aired, but -
we know Eddie's relationship with the church and religion is more complex than Bobby's. It doesn't work.
And then Father Brian runs into Eddie, recognizes him although he probably only saw Eddie through the confessional's grate. He remembers Eddie's name, too. He cares! And I don't think that's a sexual/romantic thing at all - and I don't think it is religious either. Yes, religion is the context within which he works, but it's not the only context.
He's not technically on the job when he sits down at that table; he's away from the protection by the grandiose rituals embedded in going to church, confession, wearing robes. He does it out of personal care, affection for humanity; he fills the role of a social worker, a guidance counselor - and religion is one of his tools but it's clearly not his only tool. It's also his ability to observe, and to listen, and to reflect on things - putting his finger on the sore spot in ways no one else in Eddie's life has done. That takes guts, especially because he knows Eddie's in a vulnerable place.
And he does it not because he's interested in Eddie romantically/sexually - that is not the reciprocity he seeks, nor the reciprocity that fulfills him. He does it because he cares.
The setting certainly helps too. Eddie doesn't feel as intimidated, not like a fish out of water. Only his title marks Father Brian as a religious figure; he uses it to break the ice and mark himself as safe ("I am celibate"), and then finally invokes his position to speak to Eddie's Catholic guilt and get him to do something for himself.
I don't know. It just felt deeply human and caring and I enjoy that a lot, and I love how it all connects back to Eddie first realizing his Catholic guilt in 7x05.
#911#911 meta#911 spoilers#father brian#eddie diaz#this is also not meant to be criticism of people who want to read something else in that relationship#but i actually love it as it is/as its own mini-arc#it feels very satisfying#the kind of religious/secular nudge in the right direction eddie needed#i think for me the way i could imagine father brian returning in eddie's life might be to have eddie return to the church hand in hand with#buck#because that by itself would be poignant - them as two men clearly together in a house of god#and thanking father brian who'd obviously be happy to see it#and yeah i know IRL church vs queerness is A Whole Entire Thing i am not interested in discussing that here in the slightest <3#my meta#meta
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I am not anti-marriage, but I have to say I am personally losing my faith in it. The number of marriages that look healthy and supportive to me are so few. All the time, I am seeing women give everything to their husbands only to be belittled by them and joked and complained about when they become overwhelmed. I am seeing men become increasingly more radicalized by online misogyny and treating their wives with even less respect. As they age and need more love and support, they are getting less and being treated as a commodity that's been used up and has no value anymore. This is happening to varying degrees around me, and I'm just definitely never going to risk sharing my life with a man only to find out his love wasn't real when I'm going through menopause.
#sorry to be cynical#i know of some marriages that appear healthy and loving#but it's less than half#i'm not sexually attracted to men but have been considering a lavender marriage for a while#i don't think it's worth the risk anymore#i am happy being single#personal#marriage#church#womanood#side b#celibacy#pro celibacy#feminism#4b
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I keep seeing this thing where guys swear up and down that they want a good Christian girl, but then balk if that means she wants to be anything more than a wife and mother. Like, my guy, you do realize that there's a lot more to Christian women than being married or having babies? Yeah? What about a woman who works among the homeless, or runs a bible study, or volunteers to teach refugees a new language, or who takes part in the prison ministry, or who spends a lot of her spare time in another city street preaching? I see a lot of guys who claim they want "a girl who loves Jesus" but don't want anything to do with a woman who does more than just go to church and lives a life of active ministry outside of her home.
#i overheard the song 'can't have mine' playing and it's making me have some THOUGHTS#XD#ever since deciding to make missions my life work the amount of people going “don't you know you won't be able to get married”#has been baffling#it is so firmly ingrained in the conservative american mind that the ONLY place for a woman is at home with babies#that it is inconceivable for a christian woman to do anything else#secular guys have always thought i was a little crazy because of my faith#but since i had my “”“second work of grace”“”“”“ moment last year and have been getting more active in ministry types of work#even christian guys think i'm nuts#which is disheartening because i would love to get married and have kids#but there's a lot more to the christian life than that#even as a woman#and apparently that's too much for most “christian” men#and maybe some of this is bitterness#but mostly i'm just tired#the box for christian women is so small sometimes in my area of the world#and it often feels like they think i'm not a real person#which i expect from non-believers#but not from other christians#I keep being told “in japan you will be an outlier” but it makes me laugh because i'm already that here#i'm a single christian woman whose goal isn't simply to get married and have kids#which means i am nothing and nobody in the eyes of the evangelical church
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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🤨
#random personal stuff#back on my soapbox feel free to ignore#okay I'm about to get controversial sorry#but after today's sermon I'm a bit baffled by a double standard#in which women are told not to let work get in the way of prioritizing family#but men are told to work MORE in order to prioritize family#which is it?#I'm not saying that there isn't ANY truth in either of those statements#but the emphasis of this construction seems to assume that children need fathers primarily as people who make money#I'm NOT saying that there's a problem with a dad who works and a mom who stays at home (that's a good option)#I'm NOT saying that there's a problem with dads who have to take on extra work to get by (that's a self-sacrificial thing)#what I'm saying is that when a career is portrayed as the ideal focus of a father & only the mother's bond with the children is encouraged#then what you are liable to get are children who have little to no meaningful relationship with their father#supporting your family is good! but children need a present father just as much as they need a present mother#I'm speaking from experience here#I love my dad and get along fine with him - he's a good person!#but he was frequently physically and emotionally absent from my life when I was a child#and I still struggle to connect with him#it's an extremely different relationship from what I have with my mom - who WAS there my entire childhood#tl;dr I wish the kinds of churches I've observed would a) stop inadvertently promoting fathers' workaholism#and b) encourage both parents to invest in their families in the best ways that they can
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no one will understand me for this sorry 💔💔💔
#finds men from a series with 6 fans and says they should kiss#they SHOULD kiss#they're cutie patooties (horrible people with no redeeming qualities)#michael roa valdamjong#roa tsukihime#nrvnqsr chaos#nero chaos#chaos tsukihime#tsukihime#melty blood#yessir i love u melty blood#i want them to DIE (get married)#what did roa mean when his freak ass said “splendid my 17th marriage”??? i choose to think that means they're 16 times divorced#fanart#tsukihime fanart#melty blood fanart#lets go type moon fans#i stand with disgraced zoology professor nrvnqsr chaos and his stupid failure husband#both of them are men who used to be part of a church and are now running around shirtless#spent my 2 hours of free time thinking about them im afraid
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whatever my boyfriend's parents did when they raised their kids, they better pass that on because they did such an amazing job with their boys
#i don't know the oldest one very well (i've met him once) but my bf and his little brother are just such wonderful people#they're such good men!!! they're very manly but they're still kind and patient and gentle#they're godly and love God and love church#they have such good relationships with their family#my bf told me a week and a half into us dating that he was dating me to marry me!! that's such a rare thing to find nowadays#and (sam look away) his little brother says exactly the same thing#they genuinely want to have a family and to be husbands and that's such a wonderful thing to see#i love them so much#my weirdo#mini weirdo
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RED VS BLUE FANS!
I was thinking about trans hcs in the rvb fandom, tiering the levels of average to bonkers and the popularity of each character being trans in my brain, but i don't know if my opinions are universal
Rb for sample size and, if you feel like it, drop everyone you hc as trans in the tags!
#red vs blue#simmons rvb#grif rvb#donut rvb#sarge rvb#caboose rvb#tucker rvb#grimmons#shut up beck sorry beck#tuckington#agent washington#wash rvb#carolina rvb#doc rvb#church rvb#sister rvb#kaikaina grif#PERSONALLY I think simmons and wash are definitely trans#tucker being trans is like... idk. its too easy#and i feel like most trans men arent sexist bc theyve been on the other side of it?#so im not crazy about tucker being trans#trans grif truthers are so cool i love them dearly#trans SARGE truthers are ELEVATED#i feel like trans carolina can be a little transphobic in the like. ohhhh the strong woman is trans. but if ur trans i trust u <3#trans donut is so fucking real. like feminine trans men are so hot (source: im a feminine trans man)#i feel like anyone who hcs caboose as trans should be studied under a microscope and i mean that SO affectionately#are there any trans kai truthers? do yall exist? if so. please be my friend i lobve you im kissing you on the mouth#trans church truthers are like. i get it. youre probably projecting but i get it. saying this bc my best friend is one of those
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i think the funniest thing about the new rvb season teaser is the implication that all of the grif’s character development (and also all those grimmons scenes) was in Church’s head. Kinda gay tbh.
#church thinkin about men being in love gay as hell#rvb#its so funny i love the implications of it#church's mental grimmons angst fanfic#me
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I just beat the Royal Academy section of Metaphor: reFantazio and I just. I had to sit there with the revelation that we've passed the point of 'this is a GOTY frontrunner for me' and have entered the territory of 'if this sticks the landing- and god I think it's shaping up to do just that- it's going up there with Shadow Hearts: Covenant and Final Fantasy X as one of my favorite video games of all time.'
#m:rf#metaphor: refantazio#it's so so so good I can't#it boogles my mind#and it is so good while being EXACTLY my shit#when we hit the reveal about Rella I fucking LOST IT#the parallels between her and Fidelio her and eupha#grideux's quite admission that he too was one of one of the weak that rella was struggling to save#a revelation that breaks something inside of him#everything at altarburry is just banger choice after banger story choice#all these politics and power struggles and epic clashes of destiny#and beneath it all is quite humanity#human pain and love and anxiety and courage#Fordan and Louis are so consumed by their pride and their greed that they are blind to it#but the game dosen't elevate their point of view#it elevates rella and fidelio#junah and basilio#their pain and their struggles are centered in this moment#not grand men battling over destiny#a pair of siblings who could not be more different#and yet are still suffering despite it all under the callous rule of the church and luis's junta
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pls reblog + explain your answer in the tags!
#western/latin rites=roman; gallican; the orders (benedictine carmelite etc)#eastern = alexandrian; armenian; byzantine; east and west syriac (syro malabar maronite etc)#I think that's all of em sorry if i forgot anyone :(#catholic#catholicism#christianity#as always no 'other/see results' we poll like men.#sparked by a convo with my coworker (both of us are Latin Catholics rah)#in which she said her family has occasionally attended an Eastern rite church (Byzantine)#and I said that I've never even felt curious about the other rites and would never go to their church or attend their Mass lol#not bc of any animosity. love the eastern caths. it's just that I was baptized in this rite and my ancestors have always been latin caths#so. I'm just curious what yall think.#file under caroline
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#gonna start d20 soon and i'll be live blogging that but i just got home and was hit with such a wave of grief about today.#thinking about my young brother and his young wife and knowing who they likely voted for. who her dad and my other brothers voted for.#knowing that this pregnancy she just had was high risk and if she gets pregnant again in the next few years and has an emergency#if she will be able to get treatment that saves her life or her her husband and father and brother-in-law that live with her#and maybe she herself signed her death warrant#thinking about my other sister-in-law who works as a surgical tec and does emergency deliveries#and wondering what side of the line she falls on. what side my brother falls on.#thinking about growing up in church and being a person filled with empathy and compassion for others#and watching people i respected and people i grew up with side with some of the most hateful ideals#out of what is ultimately fucking selfishness and wanting to scream and rail at them but knowing it makes no difference#because they just do not fucking care#thinking about the upcoming holidays and the casual homophobia thrown about as jokes#by white men who have never had to face down even the most basic of oppressions#knowing that any attempt to speak out means getting ganged up on by at least 5 people who just loooove being the calm whip smart debaters#because they don't have a dog in the fight and love 'winning' while i get so easily flustered and lose my train of thought#thinking about the fact my mom would rather allow a narcissist and t*ump supporter to live in our home#(that i pay the majority of the bills for) rather than put her foot down about him getting his own place#because i am and always have had to be the 'good' child who didn't make a fuss so the boys could be kept happy#otherwise nothing could ever get done and she cares more about making sure HE is doing okay and not struggling#than if i feel safe and comfortable in my own fucking home#ANYWAY#gonna eat and get in comfy clothes and watch something that reminds me there are normal people out there in the world
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Here's my X-men OC Faust! He can turn into a shadow ✨️
I made a Bluesky!
#Is he similar to other X-men?#yes#do i care?#no#i love my lil baby anyway#xmen#xmen oc#Faust#fun fact! he does not have a last name#His church gave Faust his name#Chainlink32 art#tw gore#tw eye gore
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twenty year old purple haired she they them volunteers to give a lesson to their father’s 70+ aged sunday school class of old men , 20000 inhured 272938 dead
#just kidding they fucking love me and my purple hair#literally the only reason i go to church is to hang with those funky old men#i’m rockin wirh them bc they’re rockin with me !!#they’re my answer to who would you feel safe with if you were in a room of men alone#church#christianblr#easter#lgbtq#lgbt
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