#i love being told constantly how i dont do anything or i can't do anything
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love hearing m mom talk about how useless I am like I can't hear her.
#Cade.Vnt#haha ueah keep talking about the useless 24 yr old u raised and how pathetic and dumb i am#i love hearing u talk about hwo when u die no one is goin to want to deal with me#i love being told constantly how i dont do anything or i can't do anything#i hate being here i hate being alive i hate existing i'm so tired of fucking trying#just keep throwing it in my face that i dont know how to do anything and how worthless i am. really appreciate it#really wish i had a bedroom i could lock myself in and rot away in.
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im trying so hard to not let my self-loathing thoughts ruin my night but. man. it is so fucking hard
#bee.txt#love being reminded by myself that i am now essentially a college dropout bc i can't do anything right (:#and that my mental health + willpower has consistently decreased since before the pandemic and has only ever gotten worse (:#and being told by myself constantly that im a failure and disappointment to everyone i love bc i probably wont ever get a degree now ((((:#i've placed so much of my self-worth on my academic success than i have ever realized and now that i dont have that anymore?? idk man!!!#im lost and frozen and miserable and terrified that this could very well be how the rest of my life will go#i just want to be happy....... but idk how im supposed to do that anymore
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Driving place please contact me again =_= mom keeps bugging me and I keep telling her I will tell her when I hear something like yeah mom do you really think I also wanted to not be driving 6 months after I got my permit? No in fact. But when no one can give me fucking lessons. You know. I don't get practice. Can't take the test. Can't do fucking anything
#if i hear nothing I'll probably just fucking. call them and be like hey if you can't fit me in just tell me please#its just. annoying. it's really annoying to me how much adults in my life talk about me like I'm doing absolutely nothing when im in fact f#ucking trying very hard and saving money and trying to get out of this house and i got a job and im trying to be friendly with my coworkers#and everything else that everyone else doesnt struggle with that i do but it's just hard. and it's so frustrating being told constantly that#nothing you do is actually being done and being asked the same question over and over and told your job isnt a real job and if you wanna s#upport yourself get out of the state you love bc you wont find anything here like. I cant do any kf that right now!!!! i need my license and#ive been seriously trying to get lessons and ENOUGH of them that i feel confident or at least able to combat my driving anxiety but much lik#e the job search places just dont reach out ehen when I do literally everything bar just going in person!!!!!!
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DAY 10 — LEE KNOW
★ npr, f!reader, humiliation, lots of degradation, soft!minho at the end — lmk if i missed any!!; W/C: 675
Hello! This is part of my kinktober list! Day10 is officially out <3
This is strictly fiction. Any scenario or situation should not be taken seriously. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable.
You loved it when Minho was downright nasty and evil towards you. You loved the way his husky voice, saying the most insane things that you wouldn’t accept outside the bedroom down your ears. It was surreal in a sense. He goes from this sweet caring boyfriend outside, but once that bedroom door locks, it’s like flipping a switch. And you never complained.
He had you gripping onto the bathroom sink counter for dear life as he rammed you with his thick cock, his veiny hand conveniently wrapped and your throat and the other hand on your hip, bruising the skin under his fingertips. Your shoulders and neck were covered in bite marks and hickeys. He kissed the back of your ear and licked your lobe before speaking gruffly, “look at ya, you little slut… getting so cockdrunk… your little mind can't comprehend anything right?” Truth be told, you were cockdrunk. Your head was thrown back, and your eyes shut as soft little “fucks” escaped your lips like a mantra. “Mm… taking me in so fucking well… that's what you’re good at, only taking in cocks like the whore you are… look at yourself,” he grabbed your jaw and forced you to look at yourself in the mirror in front. Your eyes were dazed and unfocused, your lips softly parted. “Pretty little face looks so dumb and fucked out… you’re liking this aren't ya?” You nodded as tears started rolling down your face at his intensity. He continued fucking you through it all. “Is that all your little pussy can take? Yeah? You’re so pathetic… the one thing you’re good at you also suck in it…” he chuckled darkly in your ears. You moaned rather loudly at the words. “Yeah… i know you like hearing all that. Knowing how you cant even satisfy me properly. Fuck. You should be glad I haven’t dumped you yet…” you couldn’t help but get even more turned on at his words, even though you knew he never meant a single word. Minho releases his grip on your body and stops. Your eyes go wide, and you look back at him panicked, finally coming back to reality. He grinned. “Fuck yourself on me. I want to see how good you are or are you going to be a bad girl?” He asks, tilting his head to the side. You immediately shook your head before slowly starting to fuck yourself on his cock, taking some time to find your pace. Minho threw his head back and suppressed his moans, not wanting to show you how much he was enjoying it. He looked at you through the mirror before slapping your ass. “Is that the best you can do? Really?” He grabbed your throat and pulled you back, “you really are a good for nothing huh?” He started fucking you again, his thrusts harder this time. His other hand reached and slapped your ass before gripping the flesh. “Such a pitiful thing… cant even satisfy her own boyfriend…” your body visibly shook at his pounding. A stream of mixed arousal ran down your thighs. Loud sloshes and wet sounds echoed throughout the bathroom. “Dirty little whore… your pussy is literally soaking wet.. you like getting humiliated, huh? You like being my little cumslut dont you baby? Yeah? My cumslut thats just a fucking mess…? Yeah?” He breathed in your ear gruffly. You nodded incoherently. “Y-yes… yes. Yes…” Minho smirked, satisfied with your response. “Whose slut are you?” “Yours…” “is that all? Louder honey..” “fuck… yours minho! Yours!”
After everything, he would hold you close to his body, enveloping you in his warmth with a thousand apologies escaping his lips. You would reassure him constantly that it was fine, and you knew he didn’t mean any of the words, but he couldn’t help but continue apologizing. Constantly kissing your face or pulling you closer and closer.“Was I too much baby?” “Im sorry i said that, you know i dont mean it.”
A/N: idk why but i find this work extremely hilarious 😭😭 anyways i hope you liked it! Please lmk your thoughts and opinions! I rlly like reading them and helps me get better 🥹🥹🥹 ( im feeling the burnout )
Tags~ @cassies-cookies @minghaosimp @unlikelysublimekryptonite @mamnaimiefrankie @marcoswhore @theyadorevalerie @applejackthebest515 @un-knew @salemluvsmusic @ka0ila @atztrsr @kpopsmutty69 @jisunglyricist @targaryenluvs @yuminhyunn @chansramennn @anylady-fics
If you want to be part of the taglist, comment below! ><
#˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。 ˚ yun’s kinktober 2024#stray kids smut#straykids smut#lee minho smut#lee know#lee know smut#lee know stray kids#lee know skz#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x you#stray kids x reader#stray kids#skz minho#skz x reader#skz smut#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz#minho smut#minho x reader#lee minho#stray kids minho
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When it comes to Abigail Marston leaving John in 1907, a lot of people throw mean comments at her, say that she was unfair for doing so and a lot of other things, however I think that people fail to consider the time that this game is set. This is not our modern day woman, this is 1907, and it might sound like I am stating the obvious but by the hatred that she gets it I think it needs to be said again.
1907!
Do you know the rights that women had then? Or the lack of. Women were bound to their husbands, they weren't allowed to own close to anything and were only allowed to vote in about 4 different states, some women that is. Women were seen as a servant to her husband.
It was also hard for women to earn money, the average woman over 16 working in a factory (as the majority was) earned 5-6 or 6-7 dollars a week, a week! Eggs on average costed 29 cents by the doz, a pound of round steak cost 15 cents and half a gallon of milk costed 15 cents as well.
What about rent? New Austin, which Blackwater and the surrounding area is in, is based of Texas which in 1904 had a rent per room pr month of 28 dollars.
So why would Abigail ever go through all of that? Because of John, because of Jack. Abigail stuck around John for eight years, practically begging him to fix himself, to become better because she knew that she was pretty much dependant on him, because she needs his support to be able to live and she wants to give her boy a chance at a better life but she can't with John constantly picking fights and literally putting her and her son's lives at risk.
A lot of people make it seem like she just suddenly took that chocie, but she didn't, it was a choice that most likely took her years not just due to the financial burden but also the social burden that comes with being a single mom in a time where pre-material sex was seen as a death sin. She could very well be killed merely for being seen with Jack and without a husband.
And not just that, but it was probably also a hard choice because despite of everything she loves John, she really does, yes she screams at him for going out with Saide but who wouldn't. "She won't allow him freedom," no she is scared he is going to die, for us it is easy to say "he isn't going to" because he is a main character and we can just redo if we die taking on twenty skinner brothers or whatnot, but it isn't like that for her. I want you to imagine that your partner/friend/parent told you they were going to fight a gang of who knows how many, you are going to be scared no matter how skilled that friend is because you don't want to lose them. John himself admits it is dangerous work by saying "we always find a way to almost get killed, dont we?" Which Sadie agees to.
Abigail took the choice to leave, putting herself in a terrible situation, not for herself, but for her son. She gave up her one true love so that her son could have a chance at life, have a chance to be better than her and John. It was not easy and it is not something we should shame her for, if anything we should praise her for putting her son before herself.
I love John, I really do, but I think it shows just how shitty of a father he really was, and that Abigail leaving was exactly the push he needed to get himself together, it was the wake-up call he needed. He knew how shitty women had it, he would have to realize how terrible he must have been for her to prefer that over him.
Now am I saying Abigail did everything right? No, she did not. Although I understand her fustrations with him doing bounties she has to realize she is not in a place to be picky about jobs. She did ask John to take on a huge debt for the farm and John is right in one thing "it is legal work that I can handle," and while the farm is taking some time to get up and running it is the best form of income that they have access to.
Now to talk about her annoyance with John going after Micah, it is understandable as it could trigger a decline to their former life of crime or just lead to straight up death. It is unnecessary, revenge is unnecessary, meaning that John is risking their entire life for "nothing." He argues back with "I am doing it for Arthur" but again, yes Micah killed Arthur but killing Micah wont change that, killinh Micah will not bring Arthur back nor put him in a better situation, it is revenge, it is not nessesary, it doesn’t do any good.
If John had died she would not only have lost her husband but also the farm, as women could not own property. I am not that knowledgable on debt laws in 1907, but I would imagine that in some way or another the massive debt John got would end up with her or Jack either way, putting her in a terrible situation.
@heavenlymorals made a similar post back in may 11th where they also explore and explain Mary Linton and Abigail in 1899, it is really amazing and also puts some other light on it.
Sources:
Rent, page 369: https://fraser.stlouisfed.org/title/annual-report-commissioner-labor-6306/eighteenth-annual-report-commissioner-labor-608452?start_page=370
Food, page 233: https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=umn.31951000014585x&seq=233
Wages, page 15: https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=nnc1.cu56779232&seq=15
#rdr2#rdr2 community#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#rdr2 arthur#john marston#rdr john#dutch van der linde#red dead redemption community#rdr2 john#john marston x abigail roberts#abigail roberts#rdr2 abigail#abigail marston#rdr2 micah#micah bell#rdr2 jack#jack marston#red dead fandom#red dead redemption two#nthspecialll
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ANOTHER JAMES POTTER THOUGHT LMAOOO. k. so. hear me out. fake dating!James potter. sirius brings it up, the idea of you and James fake dating, cus youre all nervous about going to a family event cus it'll just be more comments about your lack of love life constantly. so sirius mentions that maybe you should just bring someone and say that theyre ur bf; it'd be easier AND you wouldnt be alone, muddling your way through awkward social conversations and such. remus, surprisingly, agrees with sirius when you laugh at the idea. ever the empath, he softly explains how it could be a great idea for you, and it'd solve a few issues at the same time. James doesnt really say anything till sirius suggests you bring him as your fake boyfriend, and James is immediately lighting up like "im your boyfriend??? yeah??" and he just.. cannot be told, no matter how many times you stress that he'd be a fake boyfriend, he just repeats that hes your boyfriiiieeeennnddd though. plain and simple.
he definitely takes his role seriously. makes excuses like, "we have to practice kissing, id kiss you ALOT as your boyfriend, yknow. and I dont want you to freeze up if I kiss you for the first time and you dont know how to react. we MUST practice." also holdsur hand all the time now and hes shameless about it - "but lovely, im ur boyfriend im meant to hold ur hand, cmonnn". even gets jealous like a real boyfriend would now (not that he didn't before, but now he lets it show).
at the event, also has a habit of stealing you away and keeping up the boyfriend role, im saying he lays it on THICK, doesnt matter if no one else can see it or is paying attention. im talking touchy, he probably nuzzles his face down into yours alot,constant love sick expression on his face. its gets so bad that even ur brother is like "wow, didn't realise youd get an actual boyfriend. like, what blackmail do u have on him?? did you finally submit to the devil and curse him or smthn cus Jesus fucking christ sis look at him, hes mooning over you from across the room. seems like an alright bloke though. maybe."
can imagine that hes touchy and sweet and etcetcetc but also. after ur little event is done, he stops joking and pretending, bends down to you and "so can I be your boyfriend now. pleeeaase?? ur auntie even said that I must be a lovely young man.. you think im a lovely young man too, right? so I can be ur boyfriend?? ]: please?"
FAKE DATING JAMES IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE he'd want to 'sell it' just like you mentioned, and he'd plan these insane grandiose gestures that have you melting for real and then you sneak off to a private area and he's giggling like they totally bought it!! and ur weak in the knees like yEah they did!!
you stress so many times to him that he's your fake boyfriend. fake. FAKE. but he absolutely refuses to say that, he calls it method acting. he's gotta get in character, he can't tell himself it's fake all the time or it'll seem fake!
no bc even before you get to your parents house he's like okay so let's practice our kisses. we're gonna need casual cheek kisses, the 'i-don't-want-to-make-a-scene kiss', the 'we-think-we're-alone' kiss, the forehead kiss, the hand kiss, the air kiss- and he's rambling on about all the ways he's gonna smooch you up and your cheeks are on fire.
the days leading up to the event he does practice! whenever you walk out of a room he grabs your hand and tugs you down to kiss your cheek, he makes you kiss him goodnight every night before bed, he even insists that you give it all you've got when no one else is around so that you get comfortable being passionate with him.
he greets your mom like the perfect gentleman, bringing her a bouquet and offering to help with dinner. but when she politely declines the help he sits on the floor at your feet while you're on the couch, spreads ur knees so that he can sit between your calves, and hangs out with the kiddos on the floor. he's their big jungle gym, constantly has children crawling all over him, and they definitely ask him scandalized questions like 'you KISS her?!?!?!' and then he gets this big shit-eating grin on his face and leans up to lay a big fat wet juicy smooch on your lips and they all chorus 'ewww!' and run off to giggle about it somewhere else. it leaves james with no more playmates, so he hoists himself up onto the couch and wraps an arm around you, proceeding to be sickeningly sweet and domestic and cute. definitely a nuzzler, ur so right <33333
YES THE TEASING FROM EVERYONE ELSE SKGNG ur grandma is like 'i'm glad you found a good man before i die' and ur auntie is like 'does he have an older brother??' everyone is enamored by this loverboy you've brought home, and he plays the part so well that no one ever realizes it was fake.
which is good, because it isn't for long. he definitely begs for you to give him a chance at being your real boyfriend, but you don't bother even giving him the chance, you just tell him you already know he'll be a fantastic real boyfriend because he went so above and beyond when it was only supposed to be fake :') ur so far gone for him and it's the best night of his life, i guarantee it :')
#THIS MADE ME SOB I LOVE JAMES MORE THAN ANYTHING#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter headcanons#james potter fanfiction#james potter oneshot#james potter hcs#james potter fluff#james potter blurb#james potter drabble#james potter dialogue#james potter fanfic#james potter x reader fanfiction
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TW: S/A
so I've been watching hazbin hotel on websites other than prime.
my toxic "friend" watched the scene where sir pentious gets dragged away and s/a'd.
i ask her what she thinks about the episode so far and she says something along the lines of "hahaha i feel bad for sir pentious, he fucked up when he said he'd have sex with everyone!" and i just sit there wanting to tell her off but she doesn't know how much viv is a horrible person and i dont want to cause any conflict right now because im already in a horrible mental state.
but... what i wanted to say was even if he said that, he immediately was being dragged away, CRAWLING ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING. even if he was actually willing to, 1. he was intoxicated. 2. consent can be revoked at any time and his body language SHOWED that he didnt actually want to do it.
this is the same friend that shipped radiodust until i told her alastor was aroace, said "i can fix that" when i told her angel dust was gay and didnt like women (she meant she'd turn into a boy apparently but that was still really weird), constantly misgenders me and blames it on her "stupid brain", and is more upset at the fact that she can't buy cheap shit at hobby lobby anymore than knowing that they DONATE TO CHURCHES THAT SUPPORT CONVERSION THERAPY. that's not even all.
before you say anything, the only reason i haven't dropped her is because i actually wanted to give her a second chance. and i dont know how to drop her because i want to prove a point to her that she can't just blame her actions on her brain or her adhd. i have adhd and i at least know critical thinking skills.
but yeah on the topic of hazbin, im only watching it to please my younger self but i also love some the character designs and very few of the characters. i like looking at other peoples analysis and criticisms of this show on here. this mostly turned into a rant about someone but i wanted to rant about hazbin as well. i hate how sa is taken seriously in one episode and then played for laughs in the next.
also if i say something wrong or got something wrong please tell me gently
#tw sa#sa tw#tw hazbin hotel#tw vivziepop#anti vivziepop#anti hazbin hotel#hazbin critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel critique#vivziepop critical#vivziepop criticism#spindlehorse critical#spindlehorse criticism#rant post
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My review on episode 5 + some comparisons with manga and ln1.
It's mainly about Souheki because if i don't talk about them every chance i get i will explode.
Start of the episode ,i love the idea of using the sound the Ramune bottle and marble to attract Atsushi's n audiences' attention.It's a shame that they didn't animate Kunikida's soft smile when Ranpo was being even more rude in the manga.
annnnnnd ofc he's gonna focus on the marble and leave Atsushi sitting there awkwardly. Ranpo autism moment.
Atsushi thought Ranpo can't do anything without an ability is funny.Atsushi sweetie that's some wild assumption for a guy you just met a few days ago.He really just saw Ranpo can't take the train and assumed the worst lol.
this scene is always interesting to me because this is the only time we saw Ranpo paying respect to the dead like this.Now i have a few guesses of the reason.
1.a simple one is that maybe he did this all the time,after all we only saw him solve crimes with real bodies like two times.in perfect crime arc they were on rush.
2.Ranpo actually said "oh it's a lady",so yeah maybe he only did that to certain people
3.it's the start of the series so eveything is still uncertain
I don't have anything to add here,i think we could all agree dazai being there wasn't a coincident.
Another thing i mourn not making into Anime is that Ranpo saying even Dazai is an enigma to him in manga.it adds more layer in their relationship.tbh it's a bit boring if Ranpo always knows what Dazai is up to.
Now it's cute seeing Dazai defending Ranpo like that because i dont think minoura would actually hit him or something,maybe Dazai just wants to stop the bickering.
I love Ranpo's motto "All's well that's well for me" because it just like him.It seem self-center at first, but if you know him a little better, you'll know it actually means as long as he's fine he can make sure everyone else is fine.It's not just the meaning,this is how everyone's impression of him at first vs when they get to know him.
this part annoyed me the most cause Dazai looks so fond in the manga ,but he looks passive and serious in anime.LIKE WTF WAS THAT???DAZAI NEVER LOOKED AT RANPO LIKE THAT>>this leads to my biggest complaint of this episode⬇
//spoil for light novel 1
it has been talked many times how messed up the azure messenger arc aka light novel 1 adaption is.But I want to add it was so poor that it has already affects this episode.In the manga, Dazai didn't explain how he knows Ranpo didn't have an ability to Atsushi.The explanation here is actually straight up pull up from ln1 what he told Kunikida after he first met Ranpo.BUT because Bones don't wanna properly adapt the novel, they have to stiffly add it here.So that's why Dazai seemed serious when testing Ranpo,they want to add the impression this is the first time he discover it.
Do you want to know another fucked up thing about this scene is?They phased it like Dazai never work with Ranpo , that they're unfamiliar with each other.But in reality, Dazai has saw Ranpo's "ability"the very first time they met.They have worked together so well that they received their own name "Souheki".Dazai admires Ranpo so much that he constantly compliment him.
End the post of my favorite shot of this episode<3 Look at my son having the best time in his life🤩🤩🤩good for him good for him.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#ranpo edogawa#dazai osamu#atsushi nakajima#souheki#bsdrewatch2023#actually have a lot more to talk about but im busy now.......#i still stands by my theory of ranpo seeing Atsushi as a stray cat Dazai randomly bringing in#he didn't even try to start anyconversations with him#actually i want to put them under microscope to see how their relationship develops#will forever be pissed that they removed Souheki's first meeting#anyways shameless promote i actually made a mini analysis about it check my pin if you're interested
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Could you do some sort of poly!skz x reader + ateez like theyre all hanging out in some way. I dont rly have a scenario I just like constantly imagine them all hanging out with the reader and it just being a fun time. It could even be like ateez dating each other and Skz dating each other + reader and they’re all comparing love lives at a sleepover. Like anything rly that has all 17 or sumn of them haha
You're brain is beautiful for coming up with this.
"It's not that bad dealing with 8 guys is it?" Seonghwa asks you. Currently you were laying on the couch legs sprawled across Jisungs and Hyunjins laps.
"Why do you ask her that? You should be asking that to us about yn and the boys." Hyunjin says having the other boys laughing.
"Of course it isn't. I mean there's always someone to do chores and someone to hangout with." You tell him.
"I wish they'd help with chores." Seonghwa sighs and you and the boys laugh at his words.
Hongjoong rolls his eyes smiling. "We'd help if you didn't complain about when we would help you." Hongjoong says and Seonghwa shakes his head.
"That's the same way for yn and Minho." Chan says laughing.
You swat playfully at your boyfriend who moves away from your hand.
"Only because you guys half ass it when you do it." Minho says shrugging.
"I'm not allowed to help clean or cook anymore because Seonghwa says the same thing." Wooyoung says and Seonghwa pinches him.
"Minho has also banned me and Hyunjin from the kitchen." Jisung says laughing.
Minho playfully hits his leg. "Yeah because you both almost burned down my kitchen making cupcakes."
"Seonghwa almost kicked San and Wooyoungs ass when they also almost burnt down the kitchen." Yunho says laughing.
San and Wooyoung shrug. "Sometimes I wish it was for making food." San says smiling.
"What did you guys do?" You ask and San and Wooyoung look at each other bursting out laughing.
"Lit a firework in the kitchen. Now we have a fireworks ban because of them." Yunho says causing you all to laugh.
"In our defense we told Yeosang." San says throwing Yeosang under the bus.
Yeosang shakes his head. "You told me while I was half asleep. I would've told you how bad that was if I was fully awake."
"I once almost convinced Hyunjin and Jisung that if you put a penny in the microwave it would shrink. They believed me and the microwave caught on fire." I.N. says and the boys and you lose it at the memory.
"I once convinced Mingi that clowns were following him. I even paid someone to dress up in a clown costume." Wooyoung says laughing.
Mingi sat up in his spot. "I fucking knew you had something to do with that." Mingi says pointing at him.
"Best 50$ I ever spent." Wooyoung says and you can't help but laugh harder with the rest of the boys.
"I convinced Hyunjin that we were sending him to Africa once." Seungmin says sipping his drink.
"It was you who had the plane tickets in my name to Africa? I should've fucking knew it." Hyunjin says.
Seungmin just shrugs. "You touched my Day6 albums."
"It was funny watching Hyunjin panic for a good hour before realizing Seungmin was behind it." Changbin says earning a playful hit from Hyunjin.
"I really thought they were getting rid of me." Hyunjin says thinking on it. You and the boys laugh.
"If you think that's bad Seonghwa once told Wooyoung and San if they didn't start picking up their clothes he'd get someone to kidnap them." Jongho says laughing.
"I've heard Minho tell Jisung and Hyunjin the same thing." Felix says losing it.
Minho reaches over high fiving Seonghwa as they laugh. "Hey it kept their rooms clean for almost 2 months." Minho says shrugging with a smile on his face.
"He loves us too much to do that." Wooyoung says and Seonghwa just shrugs getting up.
"Right?" Wooyoung says as Seonghwa walks off to the kitchen with a smile on his face.
Wooyoung gets up chasing after him. "Hwa right?" You hear him say and you and the rest of the boys can't help but laugh.
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I feel horrible about this, but it's escalated to a point where this issue could destroy my life if I don't find a way to stop doing it.
So, for some reason, I get these really intense, obsessive, really disturbing fascinations with people. There's no pattern to them, no specific personality type or anything that sets it off, and I have never had more than one or maybe two per year, although they don't usually last more than a few (3-5) months. They're NOT hyperfixations. I've been hyperfixated on people before. For me, it never lasts more than 2 months (usually FAR less) and is entirely platonic, not at all violent or distressing, and doesn't make me upset in any way. I've had hyperfixations and an obsession at the same time, once I had an obsession and hyperfixated on each of his main friends within a 3 month span rapid fire style.
These obsessive feelings are like. Needing to talk to them, intrusive thoughts about hurting them, wanting to find them IRL (even if they live states away), to show up where they are, to call them at ofd hours, constantly imagining a future together, and they're always very romantic/explicit in nature. They make me feel physically ill from how gross they are. They're like nonstop intrusive thoughts of a relationship, but with this intense desire to constantly act on them and a need to be around the person all the time. And not being close to the person makes the intrusive thoughts worse.
It has never happened with someone I have actual romantic attraction to, but it happens even if I don't know them in person or we never met IRL. Usually after they fade I feel ambivalent or cold or just vaguely normal about the person. So basically after a few months of agony it sorts out and I am free usually for 8-10 months. I've never dated someone I have an obsession with. I understand them enoughto know they wouldn't mimic intrusive thoughts if they were genuinely romantic feelings. Plus, they don't last. They always fade eventually and honestly, they seriously freak me out. I don't want to have murderous intrusive thoughts when someone doesn't pick up a Skype call. That's not my idea of romantic.
Usually, I just wait for these feelings to pass, or limit contact with the person, but this time. It's so much worse.
The person is my friend, and way too young for me. He's not a minor, he's just to young for me (4 years younger, its my personal thing). He's taken, not my type, and I've always seen him as a pesky younger brother of sorts, so I never even considered this would happen. Having these feelings about him makes me feel violently ill. I've tried ignoring him and pushing him away until they stopped, but he noticed and I feel guilty punishing him for a problem that's only in my head. It isn't his fault there's something wrong with me. But I dont know what to do. If I told him about it, I'm worried he might think I like him (I don't think I do, I know how my obsessions are and it isn't love) and based on comments he's made, I'm worried he might actually try to rope me into a polycule or shoot his shot with me. Neither of those would be good places for my mental state.
I also really don't want our other friends to hear about this because I have a crush on one friend who's way older than me (we're both adults but we would NOT have gone to high school together ha ha) and I still want to hold out hope that in a few years she might see me as a viable partner (a bi can dream...) which would be jeopardized if she knew I'm basically a freak of nature.
So I need to figure out how to fix this part of me, FAST. I can't keep doing this and I'm scared things will fall apart or I'll lose it trying to fix this but I'm scared of losing everything.
I wish I could just have been born normal but I wasn't and now I have to fix it. It doesn't feel fair, and I hate it, but I want to be normal and not have to deal with this anymore. I want to just be okay, and I don't know how. I just know that normal people don't do this and this scares me. I don't want to hurt people, I don't want to be like this, and I don't know how to fix it, so I just suffered in silence for years. And now I have to fix it and don't know where to start. I just needed to tell someone about it.
.
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DMC Questions Anon here!
It turns out that today, July 30th, is friendship day! What are some of your favorite friendships in DMC? What friendships do you want to see? What headcanons do you have about them? Just anything about DMC friendships.
Hello!!
My favorite friendship between anybody in DMC is probably Lady and Dante. Their relationship is very nuanced, theres a lot of complexities and they've been through so much shit together, yet they stuck with eachother through everything no matter what. I can see why some people would assume Lady doesn't like Dante due to how she treats him in the anime, but at the same time its a little unfortunate to me that some can't see past that and realize that constantly nagging him and such is just her way to be around him, and thus, to care about him. She wouldn't constantly be annoying him about money if she didn't care. (and she's never really forced him to pay up either for that matter.) While the ways she shows her affection may not be conventional, it works between her and Dante, and thats what matters.
I really like the HC of them having drinking nights together as well, just as a chance to feel things and let out all their (shared) trauma. They both have a habit of hiding their pain behind a mask, it'd be nice for them to just let loose every once in a while.
Personally i dont ever see Dante and Lady being anything more than friends. The ship is cute, but just not my personal tastes.
I also really like the friendship Lady seems to have with Nico. Even though we dont see them interact more than like twice in dmc 5, its apparent they've known eachother for a while (Lady used to go to Nico for her gun repairs and such iirc), and they seem to enable eachother's mischevious side lol (evidenced by Lady almost crashing the fucking van into Nero, when we've only ever seen Nico drive up untill that point lol).
I would like to see a friendship between Kyrie and Dante, either in a game or a manga or whathaveyou. I feel like they'd get along well, especially considering their shared experiences with losing an older brother. And we all know Kyrie is more of a prankster than she lets on (its canon she told me herself), so her pranking Nero with Dante's help is something i can totally see happening.
Id also like to see the relationship between Vergil and Trish developed more. Theres a lot of baggage there after all... it'd be interesting to see how it works between them, would Vergil get along with her or no? I think yes, but not easily.
Lastly, id really love to see Lucia getting along with Trish, they're both demons in similar ways (Trish being created by Mundus, Lucia by Arius) and maybe Trish could help her adjust better to being around humans, especially with her fears of turning on said humans against her will.
Thank you for the ask!! I hope that answers things :> <3
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𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞, 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞. jealousy
❝ i forget you aren't mine ❞
- cedar, gracie abrams
The past few days had been surprisingly uneventful, there were no new cases, the team was busy with their usual paperwork.
"Hey Isabelle, do you wanna grab a coffee?" Emily asked, Isabelle turned toward the woman, "Sure." She responded with a smile.
Emily had asked her if she wanted to get coffee twice before and she declined both times.
Isabelle had a tendency to over think everything, she declined because she wasn't sure what they would talk about.
To her it was odd Emily was so interested in being her friend, she asked her a lot of questions and Isabelle was taken a back every time.
Ever since Isabelle was younger other kids didn't approach her because she looked scary, hostile, and sad all of the time, she didn't mind though, she enjoyed talking to herself.
The two women grabbed their coats and headed out of the building, "There's this really nice coffee shop a few minutes away, if you wanna walk." Emily offered and Isabelle nodded in agreement.
A few minutes passed before a word was spoken, "How do you like the bau?" Emily asked curiously.
"I really like it." Isabelle replied, 'shit should I say anything else?' she thought, "It's been my dream job for a while."
"Aw that's nice!"
"Mhm." Isabelle hummed. "Uhm, how do you like it?" She asked.
"I love it, of course there are those challenging moments but over all I enjoy it." Emily gushed.
Isa just nodded, unsure of what to say, Emily sighed before asking, "What do you think of the team?"
"I like everyone- Hotch is kinda intense." She laughed, Emily nodded in agreement, "Yeah, once you get to know him though he can be really nice."
"Rossi and Morgan can be intense at times but Morgan is secretly a big softie." Emily whispered the last part like a girl gossiping on the playground.
"And Spencer while you probably know him better than any of us." Emily added, and Isabelle smiled, a rosy tint running to her cheeks.
"I really like Penelope- she so sweet, like a ball of sunshine." Isabelle exclaimed, smiling as she thought about the technical analyst.
"What about Jj?" Emily questioned, right after she did she noticed the slight change in Isabelles body language and furrowed her eyebrows.
"I don't know her well, but I like her."
Emily chuckled, "You can't lie to a profiler." Isabelle looked to the woman and her eyes widened.
"Well I dont know- I don't like that she calls him Spence." Isabelle said, immediately regretting her the words.
"God! That's so stupid, I mean it's not like i'm the only one who can call him that- I don't know- I just don't love it."
"That makes sense." Emily agreed, "You think so?" Isa asked, digging her nails into her palm.
"Of course, it sounds like you're just jealous."
Isabelle frowned, jealous?, she never really felt jealous before, it was odd, it felt like a combination of anger and love.
Emily noticed the look of concern on Isabelle's face, "But if I were you I wouldn't worry." "What do you mean?"
"It's obvious Spencer loves you, I've never seen anyone's eyes light up the way his do when he talks about you."
Isabelle halted her steps, "He talks about me?"
"Yeah, all the time- ever since you came to the bau he constantly gushes about you to anyone who will listen."
"What does he say about me?" Isabelle questioned, "Well after he cussed you out on that case he told me he felt bad and that he was being dramatic because he really didn't hate you."
"Mhm, he said something like 'I can't hate her when I love her that much' I think."
"We're here" Emily pointed out with a smile, Isabelle was so caught up in talking with the fellow brunette she didn't even realize.
the girls spent their walk back to the bau talking about their love of the 'Harry Potter' book series.
୨୧
Derek walked over to Spencer, who was at the coffee bar pouring copious amounts of sugar into his coffee.
"Easy there, tough guy, have some coffee with your sugar." Derek laughed.
"I need something to wake me up." Spencer yawned, "Ooh, late night?" "Very."
"My man!" Derek patted him on the back, "Not that kind of late night." He scoffed.
"Hm, so you and pretty girl make up yet?" Morgan asked, Spencer looked to him with a confused expression plastered on his face, “Who’s that?”
"Isabelle." Morgan replied
Spencer flared his nostrils, "Don't call her that." Derek raised his hands, ���Ok, ok my bad.” He laughed.
He leaned against the counter, "So you really like her, huh?"
Spencer blushed, "What- no! no we're just friends."
"You getting all defensive tells me you're not." Spencer looked around the bull pen, not finding Isabelle, "Okay, I like her."
Morgan's grin widened, "Pretty boys in love." He smirked, pinching Spencer's cheek.
He swatted Derek's hand away, "I don't think she even likes me so nothing's gonna happen."
Morgan raised his eyebrow, "Reid, seriously? You don't think she likes you?"
He shook his head, "Spencer I can definitely say she's in love with you, when Owen had that gun pointed at you all she could do was stare."
Spencer pursed his lips, still unsure, "Reid! When she hugged you she practically took both of you down."
"I guarantee she loves you." Morgan added before walking away.
Spencer stayed still, Emily once told his to never listen to Morgan's advice on female, but did that apply this time?
authors note!
the next chapter few chapters are sad (for you guys!) 😈😈
#jade’s works ⋆·˚ ༘ *#gay sullen girl#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#mgg#matthew gray gubler#fbi#fbi agent#alexa demie
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Bezzetti and "Guess i was never enough for you" but please, i am begging you, dont make it a sad ending, my heart can't take that 😭❤️ (obviously, no pressure, write what you feel like, this is your writing etc)
They don't argue.
Never.
Not because they never disagree, but simply because they always manage to solve discussions before they turn into something ugly.
Something like this they're going through right now.
"Why do you care so much who I hang out with? It's not like I go and fuck them Marco for god's sake!"
"You go around with that one all the time, ALL THE DAMN TIME when I'm not there he's constantly attached to your hip, how do you think it makes me feel?"
"You don't raise your voice at me, ok? And I can have friends, or have you gone mental? Have I ever been jealous of you and Pecco? Huh? You guys spend more time together than we do, and we're together Marco, boyfriends. Yet you stay with Pecco the majority of the times"
"Well it's easier for me to do it! He's up there with me in MotoGP and we have the same calendars and timesheets, you are not, I can't constantly be there, but you know that guy likes you, you know perfectly well he has a crush on you and you STILL go with him"
Bez realizes one second too late he's fucked up.
He's up there with me in MotoGP.
It echoes in Cele's ears and brain, it takes a poisonous edge and cuts a wound deep in his heart.
You are not.
It's all in slow motion, the way he can hear his heart crack a little, the way he sees Bez walking close to him to hug him.
He pushes Bez's hand away, looking in is eyes and it's all blurry, tears at the corner of his eyes threatening to come out in a flow.
He knows he's not up there yet but he can - he can still make it right?
He won last week, he showed them he can do it still, he did right?
He showed Bez too. That he was worthy that - that the people telling him he should go and be a mechanic were wrong.
He's trying to prove everyone he deserves to be up there, with them.
But Bez just - he just made it all crumble like a castle of cards with a breath of wind.
"Guess I was never enough for you then" Cele is speaking impressively without sobbing, despite the tears keep on falling.
"Pecco is uh he's the champion no? He's great, he's the winner, the one you look up to. He's important and he surely makes a better everything than me"
"No Cele no please listen to me I never meant it in that wauy I just - I wasn't thinking ok I'm not saying I enjoy his company more because of who he is, I just meant we obviously spent time together more easily because of schedules but I would never ever think of replacing you"
"But you could. With Pecco you could celebrate victories basically every weekend, and not have to trail behind my failures every time"
"I don't give a fuck about celebrating victories Cele, nothing, especially if you're not there I don't care. i just. I don't like him being that close to you because he's got a crush as big as the sun for you and I fear you'll see something in him that will make you go away"
"What would I see in someone else making me date them when I have you Marco?"
"Anything?"
"Oh come on you seriously think I'd choose someone else over you?"
"You told me I would. That I'd choose Pecco"
"Because you have a reason to do it! He is so much greater than I'll ever be Marco, I - I don't want to be the reason why you need more, I want to be the reason why you don't need anything else"
"I think you've got a concussion because you're not making sense. you are irreplaceable, I would never choose someone who's not you to love, you give me everything I can hope for and more. Pecco is my best friend yes, and I love him, but not how I love you, I don't want to be with Pecco, I want to be with you. You were always more than enough amore"
Cele feels a bit stupid now, because how could he doubt Marco when that boy came to pick him up at a bus station when it was pouring and Cele had forgot the umbrella and brough along sweaters and blankets to make him feel warm? When that boy overcame his fear for spiders and threw one out the house instead of killing it because Cele told him it'd be sad to do?
"I'm sorry I dodn't want to be a weight again"
"Amore. Cele. You are never a weight ok? If you don't like me being so close with Pecco I'll distance myself, he'll get it we're grown ups."
"No it's not. i don't want you to distance yourself just - spend more time with me? When you can? Please"
"of course. I'll make sure to use every free second I have to be close with you ok?"
"Ok"
"And never think again you're not worthy of something ok? You are worthy of the entire world amore"
ANGST ALPHABET (send me a ship and a letter and I'll write it)
#alice journal of asks#anon🩷#alice writes#bezzetti#I uh#boh I just came up with this I have no ideas for things#I'm also really tired cause of my period and shit#but I hope next one is better <3
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Early mornings with Retired Time Lords ❤️💙ft. Shadow the cat stuffy and KITT-E (or KIT-TEC)
"Darling, can I have my leg back?"
"Huh?"
"Sigh... I thought I told you not to stay up too late?"
"... What?"
I passed out and woke up to this being done.
I like how 14 is just 14 with braids and a robot companion and sax is bassically an oc at this point with how many head canons I've slapped onto this man (Though im sure they are definitely NOT hot takes)
For 14: <3
-Was up til 4 am. Hypocrite.
-Wears braids to bed
-Steals Shaun's fluffy robe
-striped spongebob socks
-Holding KITT-E
-Bassically has a mullet at this point
For Sax: ✨️
-Pointy ears
-Roots are showing
-Babygirl
-Sharp ass teeth
-Doesn't know where the fuck he is
-Doesn't wash off his eyeliner
-Not his hoodie (NASA hoodie is 14s)
-Worst Prime Minister
-Holding Shadow the stuffy (made by Rosie)
-Heart briefs
-Bros got arthritis so sometimes he wears a knee brace. He's holding 14 for balance and comfort.
-Teletubbie socks
-#Girlboss (Pore mask, Facial avocado mask and bonnet)
(You can tell who I favor)
And KITT-E!! (Technically its KIT-TEC but KITT-E sounds better and I dont think doc wants anything to with any "TEC" s after the Suketh nonsense.
KITT-E aka:
Kilohertz
Intercepting
Telepathic
Transmitter
Electronic- Companion!
Used to be a stuffy made by Rosie until he ripped it up and made the TARDIS a smaller physical host in order to control and mess with.
KITT-E doesn't need food, water, litter, shots, doesn't get cold, can infact overheat/freeze though. All she needs is loved (and charged sometimes) The TARDIS is connected to her like bluetooth. Her ears have recording speakers that speak directly to the TARDIS and the large ball at the end of her tail is a lightweight circulation battery. (She's also magnetic). Her whiskers are how the TARDIS tells her what to do, and her big camera eyes are how she can see.
KITT-E is NOT water proof (yet, hes working on it) and can meow, purr, hiss, growl, and if she wants too, since she's bassically just a transmitter box, The TARDIS can send telepathic information to the doctor by KITT-E (imagine a hot spot shifting Wifi from one spot to another)
KITT-E technecally is just a host, so if the TARDIS gets too upset or broken, KITT-E will simply collapse. Syliva thinks she's creepy because "It's like a ghost possessing a toy"
So far KITT-E has pawed at doors, meowed for attention, followed 14 around, meowed to be let outside, has been scolded for hissing at the Master several times (she still remembers what he did to her), and sometimes you can see her staring at the bugs in the garden.
The more information the TARDIS gets, the more the cat can do. She also likes to curl up with Sylvia, checks on Rose, follows Shaun around curiously, paws at Donna for attention, and "naps" with Wilf. Which is bassically when she purrs, so he's happy with the vibration and sound setting and goes into battery saver mode. Wilf thinks that KITT-E is absolutely the most impressive thing ever and constantly praises the Doctor for making such gagets. Wilf doesn't call her KITT-E though and will call her TARDIS.
"Here kitty.. TARDIS do you want some of my fish?"
"She can't eat dad."
"Oh. Right. Poor TARDIS. No fish for her huh? Why not?"
"Because.. She dosnt have a stomach? Or a digestive system? She doesn't even have a throat to swallow. Theres just wires and gears dad."
"Oh thats so clever. You're so clever boy."
"Really? Heh.. well...it wasnt that hard."
"Oh I mean it. Shes brilliant. TARDIS do you want to come nap with me?"
"Meow?"
Wilf just bends down to look her in the eyes like,
"A nap. With me? Would you like that?"
"Heheh, you don't have to talk slowly, dad she can understand you (oh my hearts)"
#doctor who#the master#thoschei#saxteen#fourteenth doctor#retired time lords#14th doctor#s10 saxon#my art#sharpie#sketch#charater design#concept art#sleepy time lords#theta with braids supremacy#koschei#theta sigma#small artist#im the board of headcanons#original charater art#The TARDIS is a cat#teletubbies#old man yaoi#worst prime minister#pencil#I fucked up his face sorry#rose noble#shaun temple#wilfred mott#donna noble
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It really is wild to tell a doctor to their face that I have tried to "push myself" to regain my mobility and it put me on bedrest for like three fucking months only for them to be like "well have you tried pushing yourself to regain your mobility??" like bro going on a 15 minute slow-ass walk around my neighborhood once a day for a month took away what was left of my mobility for THREE months and my knee STILL hurts more now than it did before. Pushing myself lead to me permanently making my pain worse, not better.
I also wasn't kidding about the cooking thing, I broke down about not being able to cook because I love cooking so much and eating take out and boxed/frozen food all the time SUCKS so my fiancé helped me make just spaghetti one night, just sauce, cheese, and noodles, it took 45 minutes, I was wearing my knee brace, and I sat down as much as possible, and I was in so much pain by the end that I could barely stand. How do I "push myself" in this situation?? I can't even make a basic dinner for myself and my fiancé without having to give up doing anything else including showering and giving my cat her meds and shit like that for the entire rest of the day. How do I push from here??
Like I just genuinely don't know how you can hear all that and then say to my face that continually injuring myself in this way is going to yield positive results. Every time I have pushed I have limited my mobility further. My PT even TOLD me I shouldn't reach the point of being in actual pain while exercising, if I'm hurting really bad I need to stop so I don't injure myself. How does my PT know that when my fucking rhumatologist doesn't??? How does it not make sense for me even just stay mobile until I hit my limit and then use the wheelchair so hitting my limit doesn't mean "not being able to do anything for the next two days"?????
It's like they think I just started hurting and fucking gave up immediately. I was forced to quit my job THAT I LOVED SO MUCH because even when I hit the point where I could barely walk or sit without pain I didn't want to give it up, I kept pushing myself until my fiancé would have to practically carry my ass to the car at the end of my shifts, and it ended with me so disabled I still can't work. My fiancé legit has to constantly step in to stop me from pushing myself too far because I just want to do the things I want to do and I will hurt myself because of it!! I'm independent to a fault, I hate nothing more than admitting that I can't do something I want to do. Every shred of mobility I have sacrificed has been torn from my very unwilling hands, I haven't given up, I've had it taken from me. I never stopped trying to keep walking, keep working, keep cooking, keep going places, I had to stop because I had no other alternative. It was that or destroy my body. And tbh overall I still chose "destroy my body" more often than I should have.
But they still act like I'm giving up. Like it's me being lazy and stupid that got me here. Like if I was willing to just cope with the pain and not give up it would fix everything even though I already tried that.
I dont hate being disabled, I really don't, even though I've had to give up so much stuff. I grew up with a disabled mother, she's used a wheelchair my entire life and tbh I'm thankful because it seems to have spared me the all too familiar abled worldview that disability is something tragic and shameful and horrifying. It's just life, it's always just been my life, and becoming disabled was pretty easy to accept because I never saw it as a tragic fate to be avoided at all costs. This is the body I have, this is what it can and can't do, my life isn't over it's just different now, I'm allowed to mourn what I used to be able to do while recognizing that I can still live a full life with the right kind of medical care. Most of my frustration comes from people projecting their ableist feelings about disability onto me! It's why "oh but you're so young" comments make me want to deck people.
The only thing I hate about being disabled is other people and all their fucking issues that they keep projecting onto me. The way doctors act like it's better for me to give up everything I do just so I can eventually maybe regain some of my mobility rather than give me the help that would ACTUALLY make that possible. And I cannot stand the way I'm treated like some sort of stupid infant who doesn't have any idea what's best for her because I recognize my own limitations and ask for help. The pain isn't even the worst part, it's the dehumanization and infantilization. The insistence that suffering is better than "giving up" and using a mobility aid. The idea that something happening to someone like me is a tragedy and not just part of life. And the way it constantly makes me feel like I'm the problem when I fucking KNOW I'm not.
Every issue I have faced has been a result of the way other people have treated me. My mobility probably wouldn't even be as bad as it is now if my doctors had Fucking Listened To Me when I first brought up my chronic pain as a teenager, because if they had they would have figured out that I have EDS and will always be damaging my joints and thus need braces NOW to prevent that damage from progressing. I hate thinking about how not being taken seriously by doctors is what got me here in the first place. I'm so fucking tired of my fate being in the hands of people who won't help me and then blame ME for how bad I'm doing and insist I have no idea what I'm talking about and helping me would make things worse actually and have you tried just suffering more.
It's legit inhumane. I just want to be treated like a person, and maybe have some recognition for the way other people constantly make my life hell rather than people acting like I got myself into this situation when I fucking didn't, they did.
I was never the problem.
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Hello Again! I hope you’re doing well!😊
I just had a rather interesting idea,
So recently I have gotten into this Anime called “The Duke of Death and His Maid”, I’m not sure if you’ve seen or heard of it, but basically the main character is cursed so anything he touches will die and (obviously) he falls in love with his maid and cannot touch her in fear of accidentally killing her dispite how badly he wants her.
So it got me think, what if Marvolo or Rowan endured the same thing, cursed with death’s touch yet wanting to touch and love the MC more than anything?
How would it work? You obvi don’t have to but I thought it would be hella interesting,
Thank you again and keep up the Stellar work B, you’re the absolute best!✨❤️
Hey! I'm OK thank you, hope you are too.
I'm not aware of it, but I ADORE that idea! I hope you don't mind but I can totally see this more for just Marvolo and MC, so I'll do it about him, im in a sweet mood with this though for some reason💚
(Also, thank you so much, I appreciate that 🥹❤️)
Marvolo, with Deaths Touch🐍🖤
(If Marvolo suffered something like this but found himself falling for MC, it was crush him and irritate him. He would constantly be wanting to feel her skin on his own, to feel her hand in his. it's all he would long for. He would still talk to her, get to know her. She would perhaps think he just wasn't "that kind" of guy and didn't want to overstep any boundaries, but she would want him just as much)
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Marvolo: *Sat in front of the fireplace at Gaunt Manor*
MC: *walking into the living room* Hello *smiles*
Marvolo: *looks over at her and gives her a small grin* Hello, you..
She approached him, sitting in the seat next to him, she could sense him tensing up. The pair chatted for a while, he told her sweet things, how she made him feel over these past couple of months she'd been at the Manor. They'd spent a lot of time together, just being in each others company. MC took the opportunity to reach out her hand to touch him, making him move away from her and stand, he sighed.
Marvolo: I..I'm sorry.
MC: *concerned* No no, I'm sorry, I thought you wouldn't mind..
Marvolo: I want nothing more, truly. But..*sigh* I can't..If I were to touch you, or if you were to touch me, you would perish, and I can't have that..
MC: W-What? What do you mean?
Marvolo: I have deaths touch.. A curse *frowns slighlty, irritated by this curse* You have no idea how much I wish to hold you, feel you. But we can't. I need you here with me, though it pains me deeply to have to exist with you in a world where I cannot feel your touch.
He approaches her, dangerously close, but not touching, her breathing hitches, wanting to grab him but she now knows she can't, and will never be able to.
Marvolo: I can feel your warmth. It's torture to not hold you...Its all I want.
MC: I want it too, like nothing else. But I adore you enough that it doesn't matter. *small smile*
Marvolo: (???)
MC: I would still be with you..If you let me? We may not be able to touch, but as long as I still get to see your face, talk to you, love you..Then I dont mind if you don't.
Marvolos gave her an endearing smile. Feeling a warmth run through him at her words. He looked down into her eye's.
Marvolo: That would mean the world to me.
The months would turn to years, the two of them just being together, loving each other without touch, it was hard at times. But they found ways around it when it came to intimacy. Touching themselves while across from each other, whispered words of want and desire, making the experience all the more intense for them. Though they always longed for each other's touch.
The day would come when they would grow old. He would wait for her to be ready, and once she was, he would finally be able to embrace and kiss her.
For the first and last time..
~
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