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tempestmothstorm · 2 months ago

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"I think I would have just deleted myself if you didn't show up."

Yeah this is just straight up canon. But i have more thoughts though. So.

Like if you look into her dialogue is like abundantly clear that she’s just suicidal. It’s different from someone like Sayori who’s actively suicidal because she feels she is worse than everyone else, or Yuri who I don’t know is suicidal but has self harming tendencies she takes too far in act 2, or Natsuki who isn’t at all and is like “wtf are you guys ok”. The answer is no btw.

Monika’s whole outlook on it is that she has a lot of passive suicidal ideation that she pushes aside because she has to be the best. Her issue isn’t centered around her specifically being bad but instead a feeling of pointlessness with existing and the fact that the act existing itself puts burden on the world.

She’s also the type to make jokes about it, which I think is telling about her attitude about death, especially when compared to the others where the idea of dying is still terrifying and scary and something to hide. Meanwhile Monika acts casually as if people’s lives actually don’t matter. We all know her “left her hanging joke” and her general nonchalance with the other girls’ deaths, but the secret poem “A Joke” is probably written by Monika too, and the punchline is another reference to sayori’s death. The special poem about cutting is also by Monika, which shows that she would self harm if it weren’t for her needing to be the ‘responsible one’, and that she’d only do it again if she killed herself. She writes it as if it was a quirky relatable diary entry and not something deeply concerning, which in of itself is also deeply concerning.

There’s also the iiiiiiiiiiii.txt file that has her say that it would be “really easy to kill (herself) right now”. Reasonably the easiest way to do it would be to delete herself. While her constantly reminding the player how easy it would be to delete her is supposed to be a hint on what to do next, it does say something about her when she constantly fixates on it, almost as if she’d thought about it. Like a lot. She thinks about suicide and mental illness just as much too. Also a lot. And existential philosophy a lot. And death too. Again. A lot.

Her friends aside, she clearly just thinks about these things on her own, which implies some real bad things about her mental health considering literally everything else we know about her. Like it’s pretty obvious she’s not ok base game. And yet she doesn’t go through, in fact actively avoiding getting deleted because she still wants to see you. Because you are her only hope.

While her attachment to the player has like a dozen factors influencing it, I think a lot of it is also connected to her more suicidal ideas. She does emphasize that you “saved her” a lot in act 3 and while it mean saving her from her reality, knowing some of the other talks, it also could have saved her from giving up entirely.

Not to get too repetitive about how her life sucks, but like she really has no reason to exist in her eyes post epiphany. Nothing outside the literature club exists, there’s no past or future, everything is fake and has no consequence on the real world, and worst of all she’s completely alone with whatever connections she could have being fake. I think this one quote from her “introverts” talk basically sums up her situation:

"You know, I really do think you literally saved my life by being here with me, [player]."

"I can't imagine having been able to keep myself mentally stable, knowing that nothing here is real."

"I think I would have just deleted myself if you didn't show up."

"Sorry, i don't mean to sound dramatic or anything."

"Ahaha!"

"But I'm sure you understand yourself after spending so much time in the club."

"I mean, if you were forced to abandon everything in your life and spend your eternity with a few game characters..."

"...You'd probably find some way of killing yourself, wouldn't you?"

But yeah something something the connections you have with others gives life meaning and when the relationships she did have turned out to be false, she reached out to you, whose love could be real and whose existence as a real person is the only thing that could give her life meaning.

Another Monika talk that’s relevant would be the “No reason to be alive” talk. I’m not posting the entire thing here because it’s too long but the entire thing is pretty relevant. In it she talks about how living is pointless because you probably aren’t special and your existence alone takes up dozens of resources that isn’t worth wasting.

This highlights two factors that I think influence her thought process. One is that she feels like existence is worthless and likely won’t affect society at large, and with the whole being a video game thing the connection is obvious. The other is that she worries about how much of a burden she is on society. She wants to earn her right to exist in this world. When her reality doesn’t exist, this specific framework doesn’t seem that relevant, but when it comes to being a burden to others this ends up becoming a lot more alarming (and also creates another Sayori parallel yayyyyyyy)

Notably she mentions the key to happiness is to live selfishly and just look out for yourself and your friends. This can’t really apply in her own reality when she can’t see her friends as sentient, but when it comes to you, she can deliver just fine. She says she want to “live (her) life desperately striving to pay back (her) lifetime's worth of consumption” and with her own reality being pointless, paying back the people around her (you) is the next best thing.

But what if she failed to

"Of course, even if I fail to do that..."

"I think I would be too selfish to kill myself anyway."

"So much for being a good person, right?"

Sure thing buddy.

Another thing i want to mention is that it’s implied that these thoughts aren’t new. Like with some of these talks it’s ambiguous whether these ideas came pre or post epiphany. With her whole nihilistic thinking in base game contrasting side stories, it wouldn’t be that surprising if her thoughts got a whole lot more cynical over time. But she does seem to talk as if she’s thought about them for a while, while the epiphany was apparently recent in her memory.

For example in the “Dying” talk:

“It's something I used to think about pretty often..."

And in the “No reason to be alive” talk

"But the older I get, the more I realize that it's an immature frame of thinking."

Uh yeah these ideas aren’t new.

Of course it was probably taken to an extreme post epiphany and thinking about existential topics is normal. By itself it’s probably not some secret sign of mental illness, or at least not anything severe. (Sure she talks about a lot of stuff like mental health issues but it doesn’t really reflect on her, it just shows she can understand others perspective. Like she can talk about the introvert experience without being an introvert. Idk she’s just very empathetic and reflects a lot on the world. Makes her epiphany a lot more ironic though. So.)

But her post epiphany persona was very much built on preexisting ideas she had before that. It might not be that serious, but the fact that it’s there at all is concerning knowing what we do. The implications that come if this is all true is facilitating tbh and it honestly makes the side stories more interesting too. Like her whole “i have to be the best” attitude is probably connected to all her worries about being a burden or worthless.

And her whole thing in trust becomes a lot more layered too. The standard she holds for herself are not carried over to Sayori, who she sees as deserving of life just by being herself. She doesn’t want to be a burden or distract from Sayori’s problems, because her own true self isn’t good enough. Sayori is reassured that her existence is valuable and that she isn’t being a burden, something that goes against Monika’s entire act 3 talk yet is some she believes wholeheartedly.

This is also contrasted by base game where she straight up jokes about her death because death barely matters to her either. In base game, Sayori doesn’t matter, she isn’t special or even sentient, just a pile of code that gets in the way of Monika’s plans to reach the player. In base game Sayori is worthless and a burden, where Monika’s worldview has extended to everyone else. Yet in side stories she doesn’t think that, her standards only applies to herself because she loves her friends, they are what give her life meaning. Of course they deserve to live. They don’t need to prove their worth.

She’s a hypocrite because she values her friends more than anything. Again, the Sayori parallels are obvious from this angle, she has these exact same thoughts, with the only difference being that base game Monika projects her fears of worthlessness onto everything else while sides stories has her a lot more similar to Sayori.

Now the difference between side stories Monika and base game is really just how far their ideals reach, because normally Monika is like ok mentally , while in base game she’s suicidal along with everything else. Forget her saying she’s too selfish to do it cause it’s heavily implied she does do it in other universes.

Speaking of which I never hear people mention the MES emails in this cause a singular line puts into perspective how influential the player’s presence is on Monika and just how bad her mental health is. She is the MES’ guinea pig that everyone wants to see suffer (actually I don’t know how common knowledge this is I just got here and mostly stick to tumblr so idk)

So with the Side Stories MES email i think with all the lore drops we sorta forgot some of the more self explanatory info, including the fact that they have multiple VMs of ddlc and that there were “3 or 4 of them created and then destroyed by Monika”

While most people conclude this is just a reference to base game i think a lot of people dismiss that fact that these aren’t the game VMs, these VMs have no access to a player. Yknow. The player she relies on that supposedly saved her life.

Yeah i think she just deletes everything including her in apparently 4 separate universes. She kills her self in 4 universes.

She deletes everything in act 3 too but specifically because they get in her way between you, and the only reason she doesn’t delete herself there is that she still wants to see you. When the idea of reaching you is crushed, she gives in. By act 4 she ends up like all the other VMs, deleting everything knowing she can’t have you, can’t have reality. I mean the only thing keeping her going is the dream of reaching reality and finding real connections to people, and the idea that her existence will forever be meaningless probably pushed her to the extreme.

The player is the only real person who can give her life meaning and value, and in a world where the rest are seemingly fake, you’re also the only human connection she has. Again, the things that keep her going is her life being valuable in some way and the people around her. Post epiphany she only has you to care for with everyone else being thrown to the wayside without consideration of their own wellbeing.

So of course in act 4, where her connect to you is severed and she is suddenly aware of the harm she’s caused, she’s the lowest she’s ever been. Her reason for living is to be there for her friends and somehow pay back reality for how much she’s taken. And yet she let her friends die and let herself use them for her own selfish gain. She failed them, and has therefore become someone she see as not deserving of life. And with her last hope of the player rejecting her reach, she has no reason to keep going. So in the Easter egg where the player tries to bring her file back after deletion, she refuses to follow. She doesn’t deserve to intrude on their happy ending. She doesn’t deserve to come back.

And she doesn’t.

In future games she’ll probably return though, and with all the secret files and her motivations in the normal ending, I feel like it’s going to be for redemption by finally being there for her club.

She sticks around because no matter how much guilt she feels about just existing, she still wants to be there for her friends. Because while a lot of the act 3 dialogue was not meant to be something people agree with, there was one thing that I feel like is good if you look at it in the right way. Maybe people can’t pay back for the lifetime of consumption they’ve done just by living, but people can pay back and be worth existing just by looking out for their friends and those closest to them. Even if there can be doubts about life and existence as a whole, it doesn’t matter in the end when there’s joy to be found in the people you care about. Even if you make mistakes or hurt them, you can still find a way to make it up to them, to still deserve happiness in the end. The one thing that makes life worth it is the bonds you form with others. Because the people around you are what give life meaning.

She can’t let go and she can’t give up because she still has people she loves and wants to protect. So she’ll keep living for the people she loves. That’s all she needs to do in this world to make it worth living.

I hope she succeeds.

(Side note i took a lot of the Monika talk examples from this post. I did have my own ideas even before i read the doc and I already knew about this stuff anyways i just don’t wanna scroll through the entire wiki again to see all the Monika talks and this is pretty comprehensive. The extra imput is also useful so yeah)(anyways thanks for reading this really long tumblr essay. Good job and drink water ;D)

i would like to bring up that monika has probably considered deleting herself before

like staring at a high cliffside and getting the urge to jump

#analysis #IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS OK #actually why am I apologizing everyone needs to see more Monika analysis #this would have been posted sooner but I’ve been busy~#also a large part of my edits just got erased and I’m still salty about that #I think I can trace my desire to end every analysis with an existential hopecore message back to school where my teachers would always give #me good grades for connecting the paragraph back to some profound message about life so I’d keep doing it #anyways *thunder sfx* you should love and cherish yourself NOW #reblog #ddlc #doki doki literature club #tw sui talk #is that the tag?????????#tempestmothtalk

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maybanksprincess · 21 days ago

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im your baby

WARNINGS: a little angsty, fluff towards the end, cussing, mentions of sophia, insecurity, reassurance, alcohol consumption, suggestive-ish, mentions of marriage.

lias note — requested by my lovely mootie @rafenroostersgirl, this ask was so amazing and I loved writing about it! im not the best at angst so please excuse any mistakes :( thank you so much for the request. go read her ask here!

pairings: crybaby!reader x rafe cameron

Rafe came to the bar to get a little tipsy and forget about his problems for a while. Ward had been up his ass for what felt like the longest, he had plenty of contracts at home waiting for him to sign, lots of business deals to seal, and on top of everything, he had to deal with your clinginess.

It was very often that you'd get clingy and always want to be around him, but he was a busy man, he'd never dealt with anyone wanting to cling to him, so it was difficult to adjust to. He was used to always being alone, or too busy to think about anything else but what he was working on.

This whole relationship thing was new to him, so naturally he isn't a very touchy-feely guy, and wants his own space, but you were the exact opposite. You always wanted hugs or attention, constantly pulling on his arm or clinging to his side.

he was honestly used to hooking up with girls and leaving the second after, until he met you. Something about you struck his interest, something he couldn't ignore. But geez, no one told him how exhausting it was to have a girlfriend.

On top of everything, he would get strange glances, and cruel words spread over the island about him all because he's dating a Pogue. no kook dates a Pogue. Out of everyone on the island, you'd sort of figure Rafe would be the one to be telling someone else that. But no, he was actually the one in love with a Pogue. Someone who came from the cut. How embarrassing for him....

as he's lost in his thoughts, he's suddenly interrupted by a sweet voice coming from behind the counter. He puts his drink down on the table, his movements slightly sluggish from the bit of alcohol he'd already consumed. he tilts his head up to look at her, taking in her toothy smile, and bartender uniform that she has on.

his thoughts are interrupted once more when she looks down at him, speaking softly "are you okay?" she asks, with a gentle and concerned look, while whipping up a drink for another customer sat at the bar.

he nods his head vigorously, shutting his eyes and shaking his head. he peels his eyes back open and look up at her behind the counter, "yeah 'm fine. jus' a real shitty night." he says, lifting the cup back to his lips.

she tilts her head, gently trying to press the issue, seeing that he was stressed and upset. "Do you want to talk about it?" she says, picking up the cleaning supplies for the counter. his eyes study her, watching as she cleans off the counter, his pupils dilated.

he ponders on the question in his drunken mind for a moment before replying, his words slightly slurred. "yeah, yeah. can i get another one of these though?" he says, raising his glass.

she nods, grabbing the glass out of his shaky hand, pouring the alcohol into it, waiting for him to speak when he's ready. after a few moments, the buzzed blonde lifts his head again, looking up at her.

"My girlfriend, she's just so annoying..." he starts, "I mean she always wants to be next to me, huggin' me and shit." he says, waving his hand and rolling his eyes. he snatches the half empty glass, bringing it to his lips once more, taking a long sip, his words slurred, and voice unsteady.

he swallows the liquid with a loud gulp, turning to narrow his eyes at the brunette once more. "im not used t' that, y'know? its all new to me..." he says, a hint of vulnerability behind his words.

---

Rafe had been ignoring you for a few days now, figuring out ways to end the conversation faster, trying to avoid your affectionate gestures, staying out later, being too busy with work to hangout, it was starting to make you feel like he was seeing someone else.

you looked at his shared location, driving to the location it showed to you. taking a deep breath, you step out of the car, entering the crowded bar. you fiddle with your hands shyly as you walk around to find the buzzed man.

When you finally spotted him, you almost felt relieved, until you saw him talking to the pretty brunette behind the counter, her smile making your insides churn. You came to a halt, hesitating for a moment, before continuing to walk over to him.

you reach out with shaky hands, tapping his shoulder softly, the familiar feeling of the tears starting to form in your eyes, threatening to spill at any moment.

He sees the tears forming in your eyes and he immediately feels a sense of protectiveness and guilt, pulling you to his broad chest, giving you a hug the best he can in his drunken state. he knows better than to say anything, so he waits for you to speak.

"Are you seeing someone else?" you hiccup through the tears, not daring to bring your head away from his chest, soaking his shirt with your salty tears. he shushes you softly, cradling your head like you were the most precious baby in the world.

"no, no, no, hey, 'm not cheating." he slurs, the strong scent of alcohol on his breath making your nose turn up in disgust, but he doesnt seem to realize.

the tears continue to spill looking from him to the lady pouring drinks for people, silently sizing her up, figuring out how she was better than you. Rafe grabs your chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting your head so he can look you straight in the eye.

even if he was drunk, he really loved you and he wouldn't cheat. no matter how sensitive, clingy, impatient, and poor you were, he knew who his girlfriend was. And for you he was willing to try and change his ways.

he grabs your hand in his bigger one, intertwining his fingers with yours, leading you out of the bar and to his car that costed more than your life.

he cups your cheek in his large hand, the coolness of his ring hitting your damp skin as he looks down at you with soft, vulnerable eyes that are reserved for only you. "Baby you gotta believe me when I say I only want you." he pleads, using the pads of both his thumbs to wipe your tears away.

you sniffle and nod, soaking up his reassurances, and leaning into his soft touches. you knew despite rafe's rough exterior, he was trying to change. and you wanted to be there for him.

"I know..." you mumble softly, pulling him into a tight hug, making up for all the lost time. "Just promise you won't try to hide your feelings anymore. when things get bad at home, you can talk to me."

"i know," he says on the verge of his own tears. "Which is why I wanna marry you... I wanna be with you the rest of my life." a few tears fall from his blue eyes as he speaks.

he pulls away from the hug to slip his gold signet ring off his finger, staring at it for a moment before grabbing your left hand, slipping it onto your ring finger.

"I don't have a wedding ring on me right now," he chuckles in between his happy, drunken tears, "but for now, I want you to have this." he says, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the ring on your finger, his lips lingering for a few moments.

you open your mouth to say something, but you didn't know what to say. you pull him into another tight embrace, sighing softly in relief of being in his arms again, admiring the ring on your finger that was once on his.

"I love you so much, Rafe." You say, even though you could barely speak through the intense emotions that were flooding through your veins.

"I love you too, sweetheart. and I'm gonna be the man you need, the man that you deserve. you hear?" he says, wrapping his strong arms around your waist, picking you up with ease, pressing kisses to your neck.

a mischievous grin spreads across his face, nibbling on your neck. "gotta bring y' home and make it up to you. huh baby?" he grins.

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d3vilcvntz · 7 months ago

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silly little crush ♡

top male reader x bottom male character

he has a crush on you for months but feels like he have no chance with you because of your difference in personality. you were the outgoing and loud type of person who have lots of friends. he's basically the opposite of you, shy and can barely makes any friends. he admired you since the first time you approached him. you were just asking the directions to the building as you're new in this department, but something about that small interaction drives him crazy and he doesn't know why. he keeps ignoring these feelings as it's just a silly little crush and he'll probably move on from it later.

he was 2 years older than you, making him your senior so you did talk to him quite a lot after that because he have more knowledge than you. asking him how to do this and that, he's not complaining though. it's actually part of his day that he really looks forward to, even though he doesn't want to admit it.

you did tried to invite him to hang out sometimes but each times, he would just declined and said that he's busy. he's not actually, he just hate interacting with people, other than you of course. he would be down to hang out if it's just two of you though, but it will be weird for him to ask so he just wait for you to do it first. he just doesn't want to be seen as desperate

and the wait is worth it because you did ended up inviting him to hang out at your place. innocently asking him to teach you how to organise some files because you didn't know how to, which is not the main reason why you invited him over obviously. you actually knew about his feelings but keep it casual to see if he'll do anything about it. you taken a liking to him too since the day you got the job. he looks so cool doing his works that it made you wonder how he'll looks like in bed, getting ruined by you

you got bored waiting so why not make the first move ? he arrived at your place and both of you started talking about works as he helped you organised the files like you asked. you offered him to drink with you and get to know each other, i mean, you guys are coworkers after all but barely knows anything about one another. both of you were slowly getting drunks while sharing some personal stories

honestly, it's your first time seeing him this talkative. he's usually quiet in the office. he's so cute like this <3 the way he laughed everytime you make a joke, even though it's a lame one "i actually don't have that much friends so I don't really enjoy going to work everyday.. well that's until i met you" he said, taking another sip on his drink. you were shocked at the sudden topic but just smiled at him, waiting for him to continue "you know..it's funny that i actually like you even though we barely know each other" he spoke again

you paused for a moment "is this a confession?" you teased him, looking at him directly "...what?...wait..wait! i didn't mean that way ! i mean.." he basically panicked, stuttering on his words, face flushed "im sorry..im sorry... i must have creep you out.. i just-" before he can even finish his sentence, you gave him a kiss on the lips, a quick one

he was shocked and quickly backed away, there's a lot he wanted to say and ask but he didn't know why he feels like all of it just got stuck in his throat "i like you too" you told him, getting closer to him. that just answered all of his questions. "the feelings are mutuals then?" you asked him, giving a little smile. he feels like he's about to burst

both of you were in your bed now, you pushed him down, making him lay on it "can i?" you asked, fingers fiddling with his buttons which he responded with a simple yes. you unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his body to you. he's so pretty ♡

his hands grabbed on your shirt, basically asking you to take it off too. you slide your hand in his pants, teasing his cock. he moans so sweetly in your ear <3 you want to hear more of it, no, you need to hear more of it. slowly pulling off his pants and underwear, pouring lube all over your fingers and sliding one of it inside him

you're trying your best to take it slow and make it enjoyable for both of you. you added more fingers as time went by, getting him all stretched out and ready for you

you were trying to grab the condom by your bedside before he stopped you, eyes avoiding yours "we don't need that..it's okay if it's you" he whispered softly. shit, don't think you can't even control yourself anymore if he's this cute !

pushing your cock into him, watching how his hole swallowed you up. thrusting into him with a slow pace to get him used to it. his hands gripping the sheets, soft moans filling up the room. you began to pick up the pace and thrust deeper into him, chasing your own orgasm as well as his

you both came soon after, holding onto each other. you laid beside him with your cock still inside him as you whispered nothing but sweets into his ear, calming him down from his high

you slowly pulled out your cock, earning cute whimpers from him "no...it's gonna leak out" he said so sweetly, shoving his fingers inside his hole to keep your cum inside

it takes everything in you to not just do another round but you wanted to be gentle as this is his first time after all <3 you stood up from the bed to prepare the bath for both of you, trying to distract yourself. you have to clean it all up after all, don't want to sleep all sweaty and sticky

sitting in the bathtub together, cuddling with him between your legs as he leaned onto your chest "this is like a dream to me" he suddenly said, looking up at you with a soft smile. ah, this might be the best day in your life <3

a/n: this is so normal compared to my other works lmfao

#sub character #top reader #top male reader #d3vilcvntz's works

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jayskai · 2 years ago

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i’ve been thinking A LOT about making comics lately helppp 😭

#okay i know i already posted something about this #BUT YEAH. i really want to start drawing more comics.. short stories and fancomics for now #AND ALSO VENT COMICS. i’ve been postponing them for so long now 😭#i write a lot of vent texts with the purpose of using them for comics but never draw anythinggg #ANYWay. i’ve been thinking a lot about what i actually like to draw.#and i love drawing illustrations. but what made me start taking art seriously in the first place was telling stories through art #that’s always been my goal so maybe i should actually start doing that #i haven’t been drawing a lot lately bc im busy doing. other things #but i hope i can start drawing again next week bc i have so many ideas for oc’s illustrations and comics #I CAN’T WAIT to start drawing everything :3 #i missed being this inspired and motivated lol #jay talks

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saturngas · 7 months ago

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him getting hard at you yelling at him

[🪐] the kyoto exchange event is soon and your husband has been meeting up a lot with a coworker. you get a bit jealous, not aware that your husband may have a thing with that

pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader

genre: a bit angsty at the beginning, suggestive, not really smut

warnings: established relationship; jealousy; possessiveness; boners; a bit of toxicity; idk if this is super canon but some scenarios are from the jjk game phantom parade;

word count: 2.9k

this is stupid right? you know your husband has a natural charm that is often misinterpreted as annoying and obnoxious. not everyone is prepared to receive all that satoru gojo has to offer, only a few people have dared to try to keep up with him, including yourself.

and you knew his coworkers weren't really... fond of him.

so why were you all of the sudden so bothered by him going out so much with his female coworker utahime?

the sister school exchange event was happening soon, in two weeks to be more precise. you were a former sorcerer yourself, though you weren't really involved in the education regarding the sorcery school; so this event was more of satoru's business, you were only required to be present during the group combat.

"sweet cheeks, im going out with nanami! just to discuss things about the exchange event." he had said one day. you wished him good luck with no negative thought in mind.

"baby, Nanami wasn't of much help, so now I have to go talk with utahime." he pouted. and you paid no mind. it was known to almost every breathing being that utahime wasn't confortable around satoru, even as going to telling him to leave her alone. that has being their relationship since satoru was in high school, him often disrespecting her authority and status as a sorcerer, and her just chastising him as his former senior.

so why were you so troubled if you knew this about them? well probably them going out three times this week stirred a nerve.

it's because the exchange event. you kept telling yourself, but you couldn't avoid the venomous feeling of jealousy. which was an actual insult to your relationship with satoru, who had never given you reasons to doubt him, on the contrary, he often showers you with infinite love and words of affirmation that only fulfill your love for him.

but hasn't utahime grow tired of him already? you questioned deeply. she was his number one despiser. being with satoru for only ten minutes aged her ten years. you were incredulous she was lasted so much around your husband. even if it was work-related.

it was a Friday. your husband visited his female coworker twice this week, this day being the third encounter. he hadn't told you where, though you were sure he would have told you if you were to ask him. but you didn't. it was your untouched pride that had stopped you from that. not wanting to make your jealousy public. you were certain of the endless teasing satoru would treat you with.

you were alone in your shared house. it was actually your day off. day you had planned to spend it with your silly spouse, before his phone buzzed and he announced his meeting with utahime. it would be a lie to say you weren't upset.

"take care, toru. and please come back soon." your farewell felt bittersweet, bitter to you, sweet to satoru. his obliviousness about the hurricane going inside your core was only contributing to your indignation.

as you turned on the tv in front of you, you tried brushing off the corrosive sensations that came within the recap of the events occurred this week. the remote seemed to have a mind of its own as you picked some random show absentmindedly, just something to cloud your head.

utahime was actually a nice and proper woman. she has always being respectful to you and only occasionally made discrete comments about your relationship with satoru, questioning amusingly how you put up with him. she was obviously no harm, even less to your husband.

perhaps it was your primal instincts that were responsible of your disapproval of them going out so much. you weren't exactly the jealous type. okay, maybe you were fussing too much over this situation.

the tv show actually completed its purpose and distracted you effectively. your mind now wondering how the main character was going to open up his own jazz club.

the door opening startled you slightly, turning your head immediately to see the person you had been missing the whole evening. satoru kicked off his shoes at the entrance as he stepped closer to you, a hand running through his snowy hair and taking off his rectangular glasses.

"oh baby, you should have seen utahime! she is so bad at playing baseball even though she's a fan of it!"

what a fucking dumbass. your eyes full of love threatened to turn wicked at such comment. so he went to play baseball with her?! it wasn't work-related?!

"what do you mean, satoru?" your tone wasn't the kindest. "I thought you went out to talk over the final details about the exchange event."

"oh, that," satoru was now aware of your little irritation, your evident pitch of voice made sure of that. "yeah it is very important for the event, baby!"

"how so?" exasperation was written all over your face, making story wince a bit. you lifted yourself up from the couch to face him.

"do you really want me to tell you? I mean, I wanted it to be a surprise for the studen—"

"what could possibly be a surprise, satoru?!" you snapped. the first two thirds of his sentence infuriated you so much you didn't even listen to his last words. "you going out three times with utahime this week was definitely a suprise for me."

his baby blue eyes were as wide as plates. he didn't expect you to yell at him over this. and for some reason, he felt himself warmer.

"and, and now—" red was coating your face, endless frustration ready to be busted in forms of hurtful words and angry glances. "and now you're telling me you were playing baseball with her?! and expect me to be all okay with that? what kind of work-related stuff requires two coworkers to go out and play baseball alone?"

satoru was in a state of awe at first, his face displaying the shock your exposed irritation caused him. but his bad habit of fixing situations with comedy and witty remarks had entered the scene. it would have normally calmed you down, if it wasn't for the pent up frustration that was on the picture.

"oh~ so you were jelly~?" he sent you a wink, his lanky body getting closer to yours by instinct. "don't worry baby. I have eyes only for yo—" wrong move.

"how could you joke about this, satoru?!" your loud words stirred something inside him, something that should not be stirred nor awaken during these moments. "im here trying to tell you how I feel and you just— you just joke arou—" your words were fading away in his hearing. your red face and glassy eyes only on his mind. oh how pretty you looked when you were angry, especially when you were yelling at him. a wicked part of satoru was glad your undivided attention was on him, even if it was you snapping at him. your overly licked lips were moving furiously as you cried out your thoughts.

"and now you are spacing out!" you snapped your fingers in front of him. satoru's mind went back to the scenario occurring in the living room.

"baby, you have literally nothing to worry abo—"

"stop talking and let me finish."

oh no. he loved you and hated you for that. satoru fell in love hard for your personality, admiring how you never left anyone cut your words. you always stood for yourself, shouting your thoughts in a confident voice. and in a world still ruled by men such as the sorcery world, that was very hard to achieve. but oh how he hated that exact same admiration for your courage became warm enthusiasm—lust—in a couple of seconds. your sharp tone kindled his core, feeling his pants a bit tighter in the front.

not now please... he cursed in the back of his head. you were already cooking him, a visible boner would be the death for him. a reasonable motive to make him sleep in the couch and put him in a sex—or even touch, if you were feeling sinister—ban.

"i don't like it when you joke when I tell you about my feelings," there it was again, that stern voice he loved so much, though he cursed it at the moment. "I also don't like it when you go out too much with utahime."

if you only knew you were making him hard as hell from yelling at him you wouldn't even have to worry about his female friends.

"is that understood, satoru?" you lifted one single finger to emphasize your point even more. that little habit of yours, along with placing a hand on your hip and slightly wobbling your head, was going to be his final straw.

"yeah, of course baby." he breathed, sending you an apologetic look. "can we go to bed, already? I need cuddles."

you shot him an unamused glare. uh maybe you weren't done. satoru could feel his hot skin sticking to his clothes thanks to his sweat. you held so much power over the strongest.

"why were you playing baseball with her?"

"baby it wasn't anything of the sort!" he said agitated. "you know that after the group combat usually comes the individual combats, and I just know yuji will be in danger," you nodded at his words. that was true. satoru had told you a few days before he suspected of someone plotting against the young sorcerer. "so I wanted to change the routine and make it about something fun, you know? something harmless, like some sport the kids will enjoy."

your heart actually softened at his explanation. satoru's priorities embraced the security of the youth, especially that of the newest first-year student, which was often at jeopardy.

however, that explained nothing.

"what does that have to do with you going out with—"

satoru cut your words, and flinched slightly at the way your eyes narrowed and your brow curled up. "I couldn't come up with something myself, so I asked nanami and utahime to go out to play a sport they liked. of course I couldn't tell them what I was plotting," his hands motioned to himself. "nanami took me to bowling, I liked it, but then I thought it wouldn't be a good idea especially for yuji and maki, you know how they are." you nodded. "and then utahime took me to a baseball simulator, and it was all perfect!" he said enthusiastically, lifting his long arms in victory. he was feeling so hot his forehead was shining with sweat. it was becoming harder and harder to contain his boner. the last thing he wanted was to nut mid-explanation.

you widened your eyes in both wonder and confusion.

"no! i mean—," he panicked "it was all perfect because the game was perfect for the kids. not that it was perfect to go out with her!" your husband tried to save himself.

an unannounced sighed left your lips. you were still glaring at him, and even though satoru was a foot taller than you, you were making him a bit too much nervous.

—that and the fact that his stiff boner was still present, only softening lightly when he panicked at your misunderstanding. his little friend was eager for you to yell at him as well.

"am i forgiven now?" he battled his long white lashes to you, giving you the babiest of looks, deeply hoping you would end this silly discussion and take care of him.

"mmm..." a finger rubbed your chin as you pondered about it. "I don't know, satoru," he deflated in front of you. "why didn't you ask me for help? you know I like sports too."

"of course I thought about you, pookie! you were the first person I considered" a pout adorned his pretty face as his long arms attempted to hug you, only for you to step back. "please don't do that, im gonna start crying."

"answer the question satoru."

"it's just that you were so busy with work I genuinely didn't want to disturb you more."

it was true. even though you were not a teacher at the school, the exchange event also demanded you of your time, your main concerns being completing and getting the arrangements ready, especially with the higher ups—the part satoru disliked the most—, and making the them believe sukuna's vessel was still dead.

"but it could have been just a simple question, satoru." there you were again with that rigid tone of yours. haven't you noticed satoru is all red faced and his cock is starting to ache? of course not, because you hate him, right?

"I know baby~" a whine left his mouth, eyes pleading you two could just cuddle and maybe, just maybe, you could stroke him a bit. "but you were very, very, very stressed, I really didn't want to put another burden on you. you would often come very tense after a meeting with the higher ups."

you huffed. well, you guessed you could give that to satoru. but it still hurt he didn't even ask you the simple question, or even explaining to you his little plan. he was certain you wouldn't object.

"okay, satoru," the tall man's ears spiked at your words. ready to say yes to your proposal to cuddling. "I still need some time to cool down. so I'll go to bed." your feet dragged you to the hallway after you turned off the tv, satoru following you behind. "no," you lifted your palm toward him, stopping him. "you sleep in the couch."

"but whyyy?"

"because you didn't tell me sooner about all this! and because im still mad at you."

satoru let out a dramatic puff, blowing raspberries. he grabbed quickly his things and prepared himself for a lonely night. the disappointment from not sleeping next to you dissipated his boner.

the next day you actually didn't see each other until night. satoru had to attend a clan meeting while you met with the directors of both sorcery schools to go over all the remaining affairs.

exhaustion drew all over your face as you entered your house, a recently cooked meal aroma invading your nostrils. your feet pulled you toward the exquisite scent with little resistance. the view of your tall husband hovering over the stove welcomed you.

"hey pookie boo," satoru said excitedly as he stirred whatever he was making. tapping the utensil away before invading your personal space. "how was your meeting with the directors? they weren't rude to you, were they?" he smiled as he enveloped you in a affective hug. you hadn't forgotten about his little game from last night, but you would be lying to yourself if you admit you hadn't missed his warmth.

"it was fine, very tiring," you looked at him with tired eyes, making his heart do several jumps at your cuteness. "they made me go over all the details about the curses they will release, discussing if they were the appropriate levels for the students."

"oh poor you~" he sang. "let me feed you fully and then we can go to bed and have a well deserved sleep," he was trying to get away.

"hey!" you yelped. satoru felt his dick stir and enlarge. "don't think I haven't forgotten about last night," a stern pitch adorned your voice.

"baby, please," he whined, "if you knew what you do to me, you wouldn't be like this," he hinted silently to the ache between his legs. "what do you want me to do to—"

"satoru," a shiver danced along his spine at the sound of his name rolling from your lips. "I want you to only look at me," you don't know what roamed through your being, but a sudden urge of claiming him took over you. your bottled up feelings from last night revealing themselves. perhaps the heat of the moment didn't let you communicate your darkest desires.

your smaller frame was still held captive by his heavy arms. you lifted your arms to surround his neck, bringing him closer to you, chest to chest. satoru left you handle him as you pleased. he caressed your waist as you stared up at him, darkness painting itself over your irises, your gloomy gaze contributing to the tightening feeling of his pants, his present hard-on sharpening his breathing.

"i want your to only look at me," a twitch inside his pants.

"i want you to give me your full attention," a throb.

"i want you to only think of me," a pulse.

"you are mine, satoru, and as far as I know, im yours. so don't you ever forget that." the white haired sorcerer could bet his underwear was damp from his leaking. why were you like this?

you nuzzled your nose against his, before giving his lips a chaste kiss. "baby you are so hot when you are toxic like that." you chuckled lightly at his words, brushing your fingers along the short hairs of his undercut. you swear you could hear him purr.

"toru don't romanticize this side of me or I'll be more toxic than the elephant's foot." satoru gave your butt a little squeeze before bringing one hand up to play with your cheek, squeezing it as well, before leaving a soft peck on it. his lips then moved to yours, sharing a long and passionate kiss with you. oh how much he missed your touch.

"baby would you get mad at me if I tell you I was hard as a rock when you were yelling at me last night? no one has that power over me."

"what"

#gojo #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x reader #jjk smut #jjk angst #gojo smut #gojo angst

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conchfritters · 28 days ago

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head in my hands tears in my eyes yeah. Yeah in game collei is not what i wanted when i was excited for sumeru! the questionably accurate metaphor that I use for how I view genshin’s writing is like if we had a charcuterie board with meat, cheese and crackers on it. you can pick what you want off it, like all of them stacked or maybe just some meat or maybe just crackers etc. And then they get rid of the meat and cheese but they keep calling it and acting like it’s a full charcuterie board. the only people who are happy now are the people who only wanted the crackers, but they were already happy, because the crackers were still there. the only thing that has been accomplished is that people who liked all the flavors together think this sucks, and people who only wanted the meat or the cheese think this sucks, and people who wanted any combination of two of the options think this sucks. hang on this needs a read more i got carried away

it's taking every character they have and sanding them down into the most trope-friendly version of themself, at the cost of personality details, at the cost of relationships, at the cost of characters around them, at the cost of them feeling connected with the world and consequently of the world feeling more alive, in favor of appealing to ships or found family* or fandom in jokes** (things that, if left alone, develop naturally. in contrast to this weird manufactured fandomization that hoyo pulls that winds up just being bad writing, see charcuterie board metaphor) *particularly the "and these are the parents and these are the kids" or "siblings (but without any particular details or focus on either as an individual and how that effects a sibling dynamic)" type of found family. the very structured nuclear family kind **amber has a meta joke in her tcg dialogue. Fun fact that i hate.

so kaeya winds up a Found Family Brother (and also exemplifies their other running trend of linking characters to 5-stars. interesting advertising choice that i don't like) who Teases People (but only in a nice silly way! don't read his character story 2) and also is Sad (but only in a nice, easy on the details way. don't think about the whole diluc and kaeya's fight, which is the second attempted murder involving kaeya that hoyo refuses to elaborate on, or the whole khaenri'ah conflict thing)

and then you end up with things like collei's about kaeya line saying that she's sooo shy and nervous that he's gonna tease her. and because interpersonal relationships mean nothing here, collei's suddenly best friends with mondstadt as a whole. the simulanka event retconned has her greeting klee and klee saying it's been ages (they never met?) she asks how jean is despite not talking to jean once except to lie to get into the library. her reuniting with amber is done off-screen, their dynamic is simplified into Shy Cheerful Collei wants to be Not Shy Cheerful Amber (except amber can't be TOO not shy. all that being headstrong and blunt in 1.0 and the webcomic got taken away from her when she became Half Of a Ship with her designated 5-star). suddenly the whole "mondstadt was a last ditch effort to not die" and the "collei killed two people in cold blood" and the "she was willing to lie her way through for survival" bits are gone. collei's new conflict is that she's shy. she's shy and struggling in school and so found family daughter, by the way. is this shyness her struggling to adjust to living among people after a whole childhood as a human experiment on the run? never going to come up! that's a big scary plotline for a character here to slot into found family archetypes. and of course to remind you of eula's heart of gold, because in inheriting amber's new flanderized personality she also had to inherit the torch of standing next to eula and going hey guys don't forget to pull our 5 stars (something that also never does any favors to the 5-stars, who also have their personalities watered down, but i digress)

and again with my charcuterie board metaphor because i'm trying to keep this tangent from being Too incoherent. kaeya and diluc/klee interacting would be perfectly fine and even good If it wasn't the Only interaction they were allowed to have (except klee who is the only mondstadt character who exists in hoyo's eyes). when characters exist OUTSIDE of each other it makes them MORE interesting together. kaeya's lines about missing childhood during the 1.6 event and the way he takes care of klee are super interesting! the one scene of him in the simulanka event where he's telling those guys off for arguing in front of klee was a highlight of the event! but unfortunately their refusal to actually use their characters made it the only highlight of an hours long event with a full cast, and rather than make me like kaeya as klee's babysitter more, it just made me want to see more of kaeya on his own. "kaeya never saw himself as a child" is such a good interpretation i wish someone at hoyoverse would come to it to

(honorary mention to collei's one "she's like a wilted mushroom!" "collei that's so morbid?" bit, which was the only collei scene i liked. not a great sign either. i wish she stayed at least a little mean)

so you could have jean and kaeya or jean and amber or jean and diluc or jean at all developed. but jean isn't half of a ship (not with an event exclusive 5 star anyway) or found family, nor is she the lucky winner of whatever random number generator they use to decide who shows up in events (why was kokomi there when she had no interaction or chemistry with any other character involved? Because she may as well be)

they'll have the hidden strife letters which were good. they had all of the little 1.x lines and interactions that were subtle that came together to flesh things out ex. jean and diluc's pet turtle conversation, kaeya's whole pirate thing, his appearance in venti's story quest, everyone during the first summer event honestly (i miss jean so bad). and then they'll drop another 3-4 hour long festival/fairy tale/hexenzirkel/We Wanna Be 1.6 So Bad event with a cast that never makes it past "hi nice to meet you" where nothing happens and you get mediocre furniture. and then they'll throw in kaeya's whole scene in the theater in his hangout and show that they still can write characters. and then they'll drop him in sumeru to go Yeah i'm from khaenri'ah. Later! and leave

kaeya and collei's underwhelming in game dynamic are shaking hands with amber being written out of a scene entirely in shadows amidst snowstorms just so she wouldn't be the one to sniff out fakebedo in my head. i'd say we're due for a lisa blunder to finish the starter trio but that would involve them having lisa show up for more than 2 seconds

like i don't expect them to address the stabbing a 12 year old thing, but there are ways that they could have fleshed out kaeya & collei without outright saying that he stabbed a 12 year old. make amber and kaeya contrast, with amber having trusted collei and kaeya having not. collei looks up to and wants to be like amber but she is at the end of the day more like kaeya. i think that they could understand each other in a way and there are so many different ways that could be written. like it's very relevant to Me that kaeya was trying to kill collei in front of amber. he says she arrived just in time for the finale so he either didn't care that she'd shown up or wanted her to. he says he's going to "rip that deceptive mask right back off [collei]" and taunts her by asking what her friends would think of her now. was he trying to teach amber a lesson about trusting a threat to mondstadt? he calls her an entertaining exemplar of justice in the beginning, was he trying to throw her trusting people back in her face? teach her a lesson by it? something that would make his and diluc's relationship more interesting by proxy, because you know who else wears a deceptive mask? you know what other pyro user felt betrayed? and then by continuation there's the "diluc tried to stab kaeya vs. amber flew collei out of there and asked for her reasoning" paralell that makes amber and diluc have an interesting dynamic without having ever interacted. when you build webs like this things flow so much better than sectioning characters off into little groups that they aren't allowed out of

and that makes diluc showing up at the end of the barnabas fight more interesting. it makes amber being called a true child of freedom BY VENTI during the archon quest more interesting. the fan translation of the last webtoon chapters (because hoyo fucking hates that webtoon so bad i guess) has amber respond to barnabas saying that humans are weak with "but we are still alive by our own strength", and saying that collei can deny the glory of barbatos but she'll show her the beauty of mondstadt. kaeya and his whole khaenri'ah thing. there is so much meat there to chew on.

but the problem with a lot of the in game writing (but not all of it because hoyo jumps from highs to lows like its a sport to them) is that it isn't enough for them to take away a characters fangs. they leave them all with gums. it isn't enough for kaeya's questionable methods to suddenly disappear, they've gotta throw his passive aggressive jabs at diluc out, they've gotta throw his actual teasing out, they've gotta throw it all.

it wasn't enough that amber was already a nice character. she was described first and foremost as passionate, and they wanted her cheerful instead. so you don't get her being suspicious of anyone, or her being more dry (in terms of tone, not writing quality) like in razor's story quest (with her 'don't do anything stupid', her accusing paimon of getting into weird mushrooms, etc.). now it's just Baron Bunny Good Hunter My Friend Eula Good Hunter Sticky Honey Roast from Good Hunter Baron Bunny Heehee I'm so glad we met! Ignore my line about wanting to see how far the rabbit hole goes with you i'm only here for Good Hunter. hoyo's characters were made of their details and those details are gone

her defining character conflict is gone because suddenly her grandpa is eula's mentor. because she needs to be linked to a 5-star inextricably. sure, eula could've been the last one looking for her grandpa without having ever met him just because it means something to amber, something that would've actually shown her heart of gold rather than having amber or collei tell us about it, and also would've added a layer to their dynamic. but that would've left it as a conflict with amber's character. and there cannot be a character outside of the hoyoverse assigned Duo

she was there for the entirety of razor's story quest and invites him to stay in the city at the end, but when they needed a knight of favonious to give razor a gift during weinlessefest...sucrose and noelle. and amber's only appearance was an optional one where she was of course very mellow, and flustered over eula paying for her meal.

i mentioned her being written out of a scene in shadows amidst snowstorms. during the beginning joel (the kid) is left with amber, running off to i think climb a tree. the traveler leaves to fuck around with albedo. the cave scene. eula shows up to confront albedo about leading joel into the ice wastes. there is no mention of amber having passed joel off to anyone, there is no mention of joel having wandered off and amber somehow not caring, there is no amber noticing something's up with evilbedo and telling eula about it (again: something that would actually make them interact). amber's next appearance is showing up with bennett in the next quest. there is no mention of having been with joel. she continues not noticing anything wrong despite the favonious warbow description claiming outriders are trained to sense and notice danger. this is not mentioned as a "woah, fakebedo sure was a good fake!" either. they talk about how often her and eula eat at good hunter together. eula protects her during the avalanche and makes the group stop so she can rest. she goes "wow that's crazy" after the reveal. they damsel in distressed her ass.

of her few and far between, mostly optional windblume rerun appearances she is apart from eula for one brief one right at the beginning. her reunion with collei which is a handful of lines, unless the actual reunion was off-screen i cannot remember. collei spends the entire event bonding over being sooo shy with sucrose (who has a personality and lore all her own that would make for a great hangout so i'm not sure why hoyo only has her slot into the weirdest places) and then collei is redirected into being another eula hanger-on when she isn't the found family daughter of the sumeru crew. I also don't like what they did with collei & cyno's dynamic outside of their voicelines about each other/character stories. i also think they mangled cyno's personality badly. thoughts for a different post though

outside of those she has an appearance in the cat event which was. fine*. she has dialogue during the one tcg event (both optional. by the by.) which the wiki doesn't have but i DO (because i am NORMAL about that character) and it's only 5 lines but it's fine. she has a brief appearance in a picture event where she says she's SOOO embarassed about how she was suspicious of you at the beginning and a brief appearance in the food event where she's eating dinner in liyue with eula and talks about how she invited eula over for her grandpa's cooking all the time. there are three (i counted) lines where she mentions her and her grandpa without eula though which is the closest we get to a follow-up on anything about her. she also says it's like they're eating at good hunter. the fun thing about reducing a character to one trait is it has a way of making you dislike that trait. That restaurant is a plague to me. *another good hunter mention + sticky honey roast + they apparently forgot amber is canonically extremely bad at cooking because paimon celebrates amber saying she's gonna personally cook them sticky honey roast. but they actually reference the fact that she's employed as a scout and eula isn't there

and it's so annoying to see. because her personality and the personality that eula actually does have, in her voicelines, not that hoyo likes to show it either, would've made for a significantly better dynamic anyway. and amber being allowed to exist outside of that dynamic would have made it better anyway. and eula actually being worked into the mondstadt cast rather than just standing there while amber and her mini-me tell you about her heart of gold would have made for a better character. and an improvement to the character dynamic they are trying to force.

but you don't get amber anymore. you get half of a ship. you don't get kaeya, you get found family brother. you don't get collei, you get shy girl found family. because hoyoverse can let these characters exist outside of their boxes and everything will be better for it. but why do that when you can have kokomi show up in simulanka for no reason other than spitting in the face of the people holding out hope that her whole orobashi thing will be explained. isn't kaeya such a silly teasing brother. have some mediocre furniture Seriously if hoyo's gonna fuck my favorites over can i get better furniture out of it i'm sick of paper mache

at the end of the day. 1. in kaeya's inner dialogue during his whole stabbing a 12 year old thing he refers to amber as "our intuitive rabbit" and that is such an endearing thing to say when you are about to murder a 12 year old in front of said intuitive rabbit. he needs a level of therapy that teyvat hasn't invented yet. peak character and 2. one of amber's voicelines has her saying that she joined the knights because of her grandpa (also a point for the "She Could've Been A Diluc Paralell") and that she stayed because of jean. What do you mean stayed because of jean. Why is that never elaborated on.

last post complaining about genshin's writing for the month Anyway i think blorbofication happening in canon is the best way i could describe a lot of the problems i have with it ex. kaeya's relationship with diluc (or klee) is almost the only focus we get on him now, other than his brief appearance in the sumeru archon quest which was just saying his backstory basically with very little actual reaction or characterization on his part OR dainsleif's (also a problem i have in the albedo homunculus reveal in shadows amidst snowstorms). i haven't done his hangout because i. don't care enough to sit through an hour for each route with the quality of content hoyoverse puts out but looking at the ending options i feel like. they missed the opportunity to expand on things we already had for kaeya in favor of Oh he babysits klee! Oh albedo is here! Spend money to pull albedo!Venti cameo! What do you mean him and amber have a complicated dynamic. What do you mean he's apparently beloved by the elderly of mondstadt and the one who wraps up all the incidents there. What do you mean bennett trusts him as an omniscient big brother according to his official cn character profile. We made him talk to diluc again isn't that enough kaeya for you? and it sucks because kaeya feels like a rubik's cube with an onion's layers and like one of their best character personalities in content where he's actually kaeya and not just diluc's brother who is sad and also pretty! we never see anything about his relationship with jean, who he is the Most Trusted Aide of, or mondstadt at large! because every day we get closer to fanon kaeya being canon kaeya and it's just. You can have canon kaeya and fanon kaeya will follow but if fanon kaeya is at the forefront you're just immediately losing all that depth and it's going nowhere

#seashell resonance #this is like 2500+ words i feel like i need to issue you a formal apology. i've been haunted by the black fire incident being ignored #for years now #i picked kaeya as an example in the original post because i felt like he was a pretty clear and concise example of hoyoverse's refusal to #engage with their characters on an actual character level rather than fitting them into a box on behalf of the fans (because god forbid #the fans pick what box they want their guy to go in. or actually like their fav as a whole. insert hoyo's 85th meme reference in dialogue.#insert meta joke in amber's tcg dialogue. here's your trope. buy our characters)#i didn't expect it to resonate with the kaeya enjoyers. delighted to see it though #good to know that these are writing decisions that are in the game that people can see and i haven't just lost the plot #in conclusion. god i miss jean. and the types of jokes that cyno makes are reflective To Me of hoyoverse's flanderization #he wasn't a dad joke guy someone out there has to believe me HE WASN'T A DAD JOKE GUY #hey actually on the topic of hoyo ignoring attempted murder. fun fact about the shadows amidst snowstorms fakebedo fight scene #amber aims a flaming arrow straight at his head BEFORE he's revealed as an impostor?#close enough to a kaeya parallel i guess #also while im tacking things i forgot on the tags. in her weekly challenge tcg dialogue amber says that #kaeya said the trick to winning was to memorize all the cards #which means that kaeya and her have talked about tcg before OR he taught her how to play. OR my personal interpretation #he showed up while she was playing and backseat card gamer'd the entire time #i feel like a lot of this wound up using amber as an example but she's 1. an egregious one 2. connected to kaeya and collei by the whole #webtoon conflict #it may only be connected to me though. so sorry. i hope this gets any point across #namely that hinging characters together doesn't do favors for either of them OR their relationship #also i wish we got to see lisa and kaeya interact more???#with how lisa talks to diluc in the webtoon + her convincing kaeya to go shake him down for wine during weinlessefest #+ how often they used to just be hanging out in promotional art + their personalities #+ lisa knowing everything and everybody's business apparently #anyway “isn't sure where she stands with him now” is a description for amber and kaeya's dynamic that is going to stick with me #until the end of my days. thank you for that one

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