#i love being myself and being accepted by the people around me

[just-a-ghost00]

What they wish to tell you

Decks used : I don't care oracle, White Numen tarot, Spirit Junkie oracle

Group 1 ⭐️

"My productivity stems from inspiration. When I focus on what brings me joy, my tasks become effortless actions." The Moon, 4 of pentacles, 5 of cups, Abuse of power rx, Party in your heart, Surprise rx

They wish to tell you that they're afraid and unhappy. That they feel powerless within this connection. They feel like they've lost all chances of being with you and that scares them. I get a lot of sadness from this spread. Sadness and regret. They feel unsafe. Like all the fun has been taken away from them. They can't seem to rejoice about the things they used to like or to marvel at life. They have a hard time focusing on daily tasks, seeing the glass half full. They feel uninspired, unmotivated, lost because things aren't as they used to be. They feel like you've changed, whether that's the truth or not. They feel disconnected from you, from people in general. They have a hard time thinking positively. I feel like they struggle with mental health issues at the moment. At the back of each deck we have The High Priestess, Dopamine ? Dopa-go ! & My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me. This person feels like they are not supported by the people around them. They have lost the will to fight for what makes them happy, what they believe in. They're going through a dark night of the soul and they're in a lot of confusion right now. That's also something they try to hide from people around them, including you. They put on a façade but the truth is they wish they could tell you how empty they feel without you. This person wishes they could go back to the times where things weren't as complicated and they could enjoy themselves freely. This person feels like they cannot be themselves freely with their loved ones. For some of you, the person you're thinking of may struggle with their sense of identity. I was picking up on the LGBTQIA2S+ community. For some of you, if your person is a masculine, they may struggle with expressing their feminine side because of societal expectations or pressure from family. I was specifically picking up on Drag Queens and Kings. But more than that I just feel like your person is currently struggling to find their path in life and may be questioning themselves a lot. Which is a very tiring and uncertain time of their life. And they wish they could talk about it with you but for some reason they struggle to do so. Their heart feels very guarded. They are very insecure right now. They have a hard time showing compassion to their own self for what they are experiencing. They may be blaming themselves a lot when they have nothing to be ashamed of. I feel like if this person could change their surroundings maybe they wouldn't be going through such a difficult phase.

Group 2 🍾

"I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world." Death, The Chariot, 3 of swords, Stop doing so much, There's no planet B! , Stand up for yourself rx

The person on your mind wishes to tell you that they feel stuck career wise and they don't know where they stand anymore. This person doesn't feel happy with their professional life as of now and they are afraid to leave whatever situation they're in because they have no idea where they would go or what they would do in such case. This person feels like they don't have what it takes to start over again. They wish they could move on and find something better, get closer to you possibly but they lack the strength and courage to do so. This person feels burnt out by their responsibilities and engagements. They're also afraid of criticism from their peers. On the back of each deck we have knight of swords & Close your eyes, close the curtains and sleep & "Attacking others is an attack on myself. I choose to release this now." They wish to tell you that they do not dare to speak up their mind for fear of rejection. They're afraid of their own light and power, as well as the effects their choices would have on the people around them. They're afraid of the unknown, of "losing" what they're used to. They're afraid of change. They're losing sleep over the fact that no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they think about it, they can't seem to find a way out or a way to change the outcome. On one hand, they know that where they're at right now is detrimental to them. But on the other hand, they feel like if they left whatever situation they're in right now, they would be wasting something beautiful and they could not go back. This person is afraid of taking responsibility and they feel very bad about themselves right now. They're in a dilemma and though they sincerely wish to put an end to this cycle, they can't seem to get themselves out of it. They wish they could tell you how exhausted they are and how hurt they are but they keep it to themselves because they do not wish to burden you with their struggles. Also, for some of you, your person sees you working really hard for your dreams and they're afraid that you're overworking yourself. They wish you would take the time to rest and take care of yourself.

Group 3 🎀

"My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me." 10 of wands, 2 of wands, The Magician, I dare to declare my love, Please leave a message, Spread the love

I really like the energy of this spread. It's such a stark contrast to the other groups. They wish to tell you that, though they have a lot on their plate, you do not leave their mind and they still have a lot of hope for your connection. You are a source of motivation and inspiration to them. You are the reason why they get up in the morning and do their best every day. They wish to tell you that whatever you are going through, they still appreciate you and care for you. That should you need them, even if they're busy with their own things to deal with, they'll make time and space for you, to comfort you and guide you. They wish to tell you that you are so dear to them and that they're working really hard to be able to be closer to you. That may be true especially for those of you that are in a long distance connection. This person hopes to travel so that they can meet you. They're constantly day dreaming about you. They wish to tell you that you're all they care about and that they only have eyes for you. At the back of each deck we have Ace of pentacles, You are here & "Compassion is my compass. I am willing to hold space for the experience of others." The "You are here" card show an arrow pointing to the Earth from an outer space perspective and the Earth is right at the center of the galaxy from that angle. So they wish to tell you that you're at the center of their Universe. You occupy their thoughts at every moment of their life. I get the same vibe from the compassion card. They are willing to adapt and change things in their life so that you can better fit into their world. With this ace of pentacles, they wish to tell you that they would like to start anew with you or give your connection a new turn by making you an offer. I feel like this person would like to be in a relationship with you, regardless of what people may think and despite the challenges this may rise. It's like, no matter what, they're willing to make it work because you mean so much to them. Honestly this is so sweet.

[mutantceri]

Research Note 125: 5 Therians Progress

Today was supposed to be a day of work on equipment, but somehow 5 of my friends had appointments today! So I stopped in on all of them. These notes may be important one day, but I also just love being able to write everyone's progress down.

[Artwork done amazingly and perfectly by https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59179875/ . Go. Check. Them. Out!]

Blue: Filling In I mention her a lot, but Dr. Blue has been one of the leading people on the biomedical side. She also has been instrumental in my transition, not only helping as I realized who...what I was, but helping facilitate. Sometimes, a little offputting, but always means well. (I wouldn't have anyone else, she is the leading mind in her field across the pond.) She had decided to transition a year prior to myself. Part of her always wanted to be a dragon, but most of her decided to be an otter. Once she moved over to this side of the Earth, she started transition. Our first few times working together, her skin had already turned color in patches. As her body changed, the fur patching continued. She's often explained it in her medical terminology, but it might as well be an alien language to me. The gist, her skin is having a hard time changing even though the rest of her body is rapidly accepting. It's been quite amazing seeing her come out of the lab each week a bit different anatomically, yet still patchy human skin. Likely, that's why we stay close, both have remnants of human we don't exactly want sticking around. We try to stay social outside of work. Outside, she's a playful sociable squeaky otter. Yet at work, she's laser-focused and stoic as all hell. Today, she wasn't supposed to be at work, but she had to fill in for one of the techs whose treatment has left them too sore to come in. Surprised me when her blue-haired head turned the corner to throw me all of the data to load into the machines. And as usual, her seemingly grumpy ass stoically just, delivered them. In return, I smiled back and excitedly took them with a "Thaaaank youuuu, have a good day!" One day, her otterness will show at work too.

Tracy: Closer (KoboldHRT) There has been an... unfortunate situation created by other players in the animal/species HRT space. Some patients haven't actually been given proper treatment, and effectively have been turned to adjacent species. As far as I understand, our lab may be unethical for military practices, but experimentation without consent is next level. So, a team led by Dr. Blue and I have been working on effectively species transition, transition. Taking someone and trying to steer their body back to their preferred path. It doesn't take someone to 100% where they belong, but helps. We figured it's also a good way to help the hybrid species take form better.

My friend Tracy was one of a pair of sisters who chose to be dragons. Unfortunately, their doctors gave them treatment to become a kobold... If you know anything about the difference, you can see the problems. Tracy has been in treatment for 4 years, and now a year of adjacent transition. It's been hard, and long but she is progressing and growing better than expected. Hopefully, soon we will see dragon features start to come out. Then maybe, if we can find her sister, we can treat her too. But that's a story better told by her.

Pigeon: Next Steps (Pigeon HRT) It might shock you, but my friend named Pigeon, is a pigeon. She's near the end of the first phase of her transition, and looks the part of a rainbow birb. We've grown close over writing, and her's about her transition is phenomenal. But, she didn't just want to be a Pigeon, but a plush pigeon. Yes, you read that right. Plump, soft, full of stuffing. But science can't turn you inanimate. But, thanks to the mutation in my skin that left me fuzzy instead of scaly, we can get close. Quite a bit of editing and a bit of science I don't understand, make it possible. I had to have multiple sessions where they removed grafts to try and figure out the right combinations to create a similar mutation for a bird. But they got it down to this: First, her feathers will shorten, but fuzz up to be a bit floofy. Second, we will turn her body's fat production into cells that have large air pockets, simulating stuffing. She will have to gain so much, girth. Weight won't really change. This will also help immobilize her so she matches being more plush. To break the news, we found an adorable mini pigeon plushie, and at what was supposed to be her last appointment, we gave it to her. "Oh my god! She's adorable!" Pigeon coo'd at me. "She's you in a few years girl!" Her face froze, and then it hit her hard. It's so worth all the work to hear all the happy chirps!

T&R: Therapy Together (Hydra HRT) If you've been reading anything about species HRT you'll know there are plenty of dragons and adjacent chosen species. But rare few decide to not only change species; but to use the opportunity to work their split personality out, literally. I met T&R when I was shadowing an anesthesiologist for a plastic surgeon at another clinic. Their heads had split but not... separated, so invasive action was taken by their doctor. It was mutually nice knowing someone who not only was the same species, but had another voice in the head, so we stayed in touch as they recovered. After they recovery, they're doctor recommended more gene editing, and they just so happened to know someone in the field. So today they visited for a session, and afterward, we met up. For being split for awhile, they were still a bit out of sync. When I toured them through the backrooms of the lab, one head ducked under a pipe but didn't warn the other and smacked straight into their side. But of all the things they were learning, it was their size changes we all talked about the most of. Their necks have gotten to where they are more of the snake type, and they are very disoriented by it. I can relate, I've stretched about 4 inches everywhere in the last 2 months and it's very noticeable. I'm excited to see them next, they're progressing so fast compared to most, and have so many odd features that are coming out due to their complex genealogy and the decision to split. Essentially, I'm excited for my friend. Tasha: Fuzz I have a friend who's an artist, who we often use to help concept species. It took a while, lots of doing works for others, before long, she was the subject of her work. One day, she walked into my office looking for a way into the labs queue. Of course, we snuck her in. Tasha associated with cats the most, but not like a tiger, just a domestic long hair meow meow. What we didn't expect, was how well her body would take to that species. A bit too well. Everything seems to come in *fast* with her transition. I hadn't seen her in about three months due to our schedules not meeting up. When we did, I could barely recognize her. She had fully developed ears, paw pads, and a long, flowy, flippy tail. But one thing was missing, and REALLY missing. Not a single hair of her fur has come in yet. The skin has dyed and changed, clearly, melanin underneath is doing something. No fur though. Just her normal hair on her head. (It seems most of us don't lose it, more on that another note someday.) We hugged, had the usual pleasantries, and then the big question almost instantly. I've assured friends in their treatments time and time again, but this one is literally just a waiting game. And that's exactly what I told her. She's clearly nervous, but doing so well. I can't wait to see her face when it all comes, because, with her luck, it'll all come at once.

[bigriceenthusiast]

guys i know arcane is fundamentally a tragedy okay. i know this i promise you

and i feel like i'm not gonna be as articulate as i'd like about this but it felt like one those tragedies where it's like the love was there and it changed everything right. the characters could've done everything differently but they wouldn't have. the love was there (thinking of jayvik for example)

however. i just. don't like what they did with jinx?? OKAY DISCLAIMER SHE'S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER OKAY I'M SORRY but i just hate the fucking "curse" so much like it just doesn't feel as poignant and beautiful and thoughtful as the rest of the show for me?? like season 1 jinx was amazing i loved what they did with her but season 2 jinx just felt like she was there to get thrown around if that makes sense?

"everyone close to me dies" is a fine plot and whatnot but what about "but they don't. and now i have to face my own actions and active role in what i let myself become. in what i let others turn me into" because all the other characters felt so much more like people making decisions? for jinx it's like everyone close to her dies and that's her curse and they just. won't subvert that? but defying this idea of the curse and giving this character agency in the now lucid state we saw her in with isha would've made such a compelling arc AND given isha the opportunity for more depth

idk maybe i just loved her and isha too much and i'm being delusional but i think the storyline of her having to accept that the curse was in her head and having to heal from THAT because oh shit suddenly death is real and i can become an active agent in my life and addressing that almost unconscious victim complex would've hit so incredibly fucking hard and been a good way to expand on healing and building something new like ekko said too

i know the curse was a metaphor but literally everyone close to her did die up until she disappeared in the finale which is just. such a weird ending for a character that struggled with extreme paranoia the way jinx did

or maybe therapy has been fucking me up and i'm projecting who knows

[squishy-goblin]

I've always dreamed of being fat but I'm worried what those around me will say.

Please don't worry about others 🥺

I've struggled with that my whole life and it was AWFUL. I finally gave myself the strength to live unapologetically and it's been AMAZING.

BE FAT. TAKE UP SPACE. MAKE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE.

You and your body deserve love no matter how big you get. And the ones who love you will accept that. If they don't, there are SO many more people who will 💚

[lanalosty0uu]

⋆.˚ PROLOGUE ᝰ.ᐟ

🕰️ BACK TO THE FUTURE 🕰️

no specific warnings on this chapter slight foreshadowing of another stranger things character!

main masterlist

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

"Oh, no need to help, dear! I can do it by myself."

The nice 50 year old-ish lady told you not to worry about her fish pond. You're a second year high school student who just got accepted in an exchange program, and now you’re finally here, in Hawkins, Indiana.

"Oh, don't worry, Mrs. Byers, I can handle it pretty well… My dad also has a fish pond on the back of our house.” You tried to reassure her that it’s totally fine for you to take care of it. Remembering that she can already be categorized as an old lady, it would be very cruel of you if you let her clean it by herself.

“You are truly an independent and hardworking young lady… Reminds me of myself back in the old days.” You can see her smile while looking to a blank space, probably reminiscing herself back when she was younger.

You chuckled at her compliment, slightly thanking her for saying something you don’t hear everyday, especially from your parents. Instead of saying anything further, you smiled at her before continue cleaning her fish pond.

⊹ ࣪ ˖🕰️୭˚. ᵎᵎ🗝️

“Please, dear. Feel free to look around.���

Ever since you got here last week, you never had the courage to explore her gigantic house. Not because it has spirits living on it, of course not! (hope so) But, it’s more like you don’t wanna disturb her peace and you don’t wanna look like you’re being nosy about her personal stuff. Yet, from the first step you took on this house, you literally fell in love. The vintage architecture, big pillars on her yard, it seems impossible for an old lady to live her by herself.

Sure, her house only has two levels, but the interior of her house is just mesmerizing. The details and antique things in this place are remarkable. If only you don’t have to control yourself, you’d already touch every single one of her things.

The only thing that you did here was to go to school and spend time with her a lot. You went shopping together, clean the house, do regular house chores, watch cheesy rom-coms or comedy movies (which you surprisingly also love). The whole week basically already felt comfortable for you.

You always loved old people. You get to hear their stories, adventures, and all what happened in the past. It seems… Very interesting, so different with what you have now. And one of the things you love about Mrs. Byers, is that she talks about her youth days a lot in the 80s! You, as a person who is a big fan of the 80s always had an open jaw when listening to how beautiful life seemed to be in the 1980s, especially in the year 1985.

“These are some beautiful watch collections, Mrs. Byers!” You looked through a cardboard box full of old clocks and watches inside.

“Those were my parents’. I was planning to give those to the antique store since I don’t really use it. But you can look around there if you’d like, dear! If one catches your eye, please do take it before people put a price on it in the antique store.”

The feeling of knowing that you can look at these old watches and actually bring them home without needing to let out a single dollar made you feel euphoric. But, you still need to help her cleaning up this messy attic, not wanting her to get asthma from breathing the dusty air so much.

“Maybe I’ll do it later, Mrs. Byers. I gotta clean these up first.”

Mrs. Byers looked at you, giving you the ‘I swear this kid never rests’ look. Yet, she just smiled. And you know deep down she’s really happy to have someone to be her company and to help her around since her husband died a year ago.

⊹ ࣪ ˖🕰️୭˚. ᵎᵎ🗝️

“If you need me, I’ll be downstairs, okay dear?” Mrs. Byers excused herself to go back to her room, probably knitting since it’s what she’s been doing at home (as far as you know). She left you there in the attic, wandering through her watch collection.

As you were diving through it, you took pictures of every single watch, especially the ones that has unique details in it. But one caught your eye… A golden pocket watch. It has golden chains, chained to the top of the watch. Tiny details surrounding the face of the watch. Since it looks pretty old, it was also covered in dust and rust, including the roman numbers that tell the time inside.

You made the watch dangle around your arms, admiring it’s old, yet timeless beauty. You started turning the clock around, seeing if it still works or not. Sadly, it’s broken. You immediately thought of the 80s just by looking at it, imagining how Mrs. Byers would always wield it and brought it everywhere she goes, even though you know this watch must’ve came from an older time… Most likely to be from the 30s or the 40.

Since you liked that pocket watch so much, you put the chains around your arms, keeping it there as you put back the rest of the watches gently inside the cardboard, not wanting to be irresponsible after Mrs. Byers let you mess around with all of it.

note: hey, i'll be publishing the first chapter like around... later! but i'll be posting it today as well (i'll try hihi ^^), lmk what r ur thoughts about the prologue so far, and if there's any of u that wants to be in the taglist, feel free to ask! hope you like this one <3

@xprloki @pupwrites @gorlillaglue25 @lovestrucklyuniverse since y'all seemed pretty excited abt this, i've decided to tag y'all in this and all future chapters, really hope y'all like it and continue reading <3

[mask131]

I have seen someone say, to accentuate the fact a certain book needed a basic knowledge of Greek mythology to fully understand all the references and jokes in there, "You better have read the Percy Jackson novels, else you will be lost".

You guessed it: it bothers me (every time I begin a post like that, you can expect me ranting about something)

I don't know if this was said as a jest or not. If it was said as a sort of joke or as a light-hearted comment, I fully get it and I have nothing to say, because of course that's a funny nod. However I fear this was said in all seriousness. And even if this person was not serious, I have seen a LOT of people treat mythology... out of fictional works. Especially the Riordan novels (a similar thing is happening with Norse mythology where people start using God of War as a reliable source but that's a discourse for another day).

I get how popular and beloved the Percy Jackson novels are. I myself am a big fan of them. It was my butter and jam in middle-school. I never was a Harry Potter fan, but I WAS a Percy Jackson fan. So I get it, I get how it can be... But it doesn't mean these novels should be treated as a source of reliable and certain info on Greek mythology. People seem to forget that these novels are rewriting, reinventions and adaptations of Greek mythology. Back in the days, nobody would have went around claiming Saint Seiya or Ulysses 31 were reliable sources about Greek mythology, and yet today people treat stuff like Blood of Zeus or Wonder Woman Historia as almost primary sources when it comes to handling the Greek gods...

I guess it is due to a change of generations, and a change of point of view as time goes on. Today Greek mythology is treated, handled and accepted more as a source of narrative material, as a host of characters, as a compilation of folktales, rather than an actual culture, or a literary corpus, or a set of beliefs and rites linked to a religion. Probably because people are getting more and more used to Greek mythology being used for entertainment and narrative purpose - Disney's Hercules, God of War, Class of Titans... People don't have their primary contact with the Greek myths through classrooms and school lessons, they have it through movies and animated series and novels. And so for them, Greek mythology becomes "fiction" before "study".

Before, to make the point that you needed to know the basics of Greek mythology, someone would have said "You need to have read at least a Greek mythology encyclopedia". There's a SHIT TON of these around. Today it's just "You need to at least have read a Percy Jackson novel". I mean, again, if it is for humoristic purpose or for a light-hearted comment, okay, it's funny - but if it is serious, than it is as stupid as to say "You need to know about witches and witchcraft... so you need to at least have read the Harry Potter novels".

Again, I don't want to spit on the Percy Jackson novels. I adored them, I still love them, and I think it is great and amazing how it boosted and popularized Greek mythology and made it such a casual topic. But I always thought the series was much more enjoyable when you knew already a bit about Greek mythology BEFORE reading the books, instead of learning things from it. The reason I fell in love with these novels was because I was a HUGE Greek mythology fan as a child and unfortunately as a result the range of media exploring my interests was limited (Mission Odyssey, the classic italian Odyssey movie, The God Beneath the Sea). Until the Percy Jackson came along and I had a blast seeing how they reinterpreted, reinvented and reused things I was already familiar with. That was the fun of it, see their interpretation of mythology.

Because I am sorry, but if you try to learn Greek mythology with the Percy Jackson novels, you will learn a LOT of misinformation. You will learn that Athena can have kids, that Poseidon is one of the coolest Olympians, that Demeter basically has no role whatsoever in anything, that Venus and Aphrodite are one and the same, that the demigods all inherit the powers of their parents like super-heroes... In fact we do see today a lot of the effects the popularity of the Riordan books had (like the overblown and excessive villainization of Zeus). But that's something endless and eternal: as I pointed out, after the OvertlySarcasticProductions video about Dionysos with them having horns as part of his design, EVERYBODY on Tumblr and the friggin' Internet started putting horns on Dionysos. It wasn't just something that spread slowly, it was a real boom and fashion.

I was NOT expecting this rant to go that far, as usual I got carried away X) But here's kind-of my point: people originally brought forward the idea that "There is no "real" canon to Greek mythology because there's tons of conflicting versions and alternate tales" to defend the idea that fictional takes and adaptations could deviate from the dominating versions. It was nice and a needed reminder. Except... people of course used it wrongly and started use it to A) just allow themselves to do anything and everything while B) not bothering to do any research by pointing out how since there's no "canon" and not a set of defined clear-cut legends, they don't have to justify their adaptation choices.

Yes, there is a lot of variations, alternate continuities, rivalizing characterizations and conflicting elements in Greek mythology, as in all and every mythologies, from Norse to Indian. It doesn't mean however that the modern fictional works about Greek mythology have as much importance as the actual original texts of ancient civilizations... I get that you love your Song of Achilles and your Epic the Musical, but it doesn't mean that I won't judge you if you never bothered doing any research about what Greek mythology was about outside of seeing other people adapt it. (And don't even get me started on the so-called "devotees" of the Greek gods who aren't even true neo-pagans and are just fad-following pseudo-poets who bring forward random ideas as facts and literaly have "headcanons" about gods as if they were OCs... Random personal take but I have never seen any dog-loving "devotee" of Hekate ever question or mention how THOUSANDS of dogs were killed in the name of their "patron")

I guess it is because how people have a hard time getting what a "mythology" is about... I mean a lot of people really don't know the difference between a "mythology" and a "religion", and yeah, in mythology the gods are as much figures of worship/centers of cult as they are literary characters and narrative archetypes, so it's this weird in-between... I don't know, this rant literaly leads to nowhere so I'll just stop here and leave you to your own thoughts :p

[vonbabbitt]

Hi Von! Dropping in to say that you are absolutely incredible.

I could never imagine how hard it is to do a project of this scale basically completely yourself, save for the voice actors and people who help with editing. It takes a level of dedication, responsibility, and patience that many people do not have. Whenever I mention Tetro to my friends (which happens quite a lot), the moment I mention you and go on a spiel of everything you do, they're all stunned.

What I'm getting at is that you're so talented, strong, and just an all-around powerhouse. Tetro is such an amazing and interesting series, and I commend you for being able to finish it and start a second season. Not only me, but the entire community. The fact that you and your staff get treated with disrespect is so shocking to me. It has not only some of the best voice acting I've seen in a while, but also some of the best writing and representation of disabilities I've seen. You and your staff deserve as much love and appreciation as physically possible from the community that follows you. I do hope that the good outweighs the bad, because you already work so hard that the added stress of fans who harass you is something I don't even want to imagine. You also deserve as much rest as possible.

You don't have to answer this ask. Ever. But please let this serve as a reminder that the community appreciates everything you do for them. It's okay to take as many breaks as you need. You're an incredible writer, artist, voice actor, director and creator.

I wish you the absolute best going forward, and I hope you have a good rest of your day.

thank you very very much anon its really reassuring to hear

the positive response to tetro definitely outweighs the negative, which is something im definitely trying to get better with accepting instead of focusing way too hard on one or two people who arent enjoying it. im also learning to accept that just because someone doesnt like something doesnt mean that something is BAD, regardless of whether or not they say it is. just because people dont like my writing doesnt mean my writing is bad (not that it would matter if it was bad either way, as im only doing this for fun!)

im really really grateful for the level of support people have shown me and going forward into the new year im going to try and be better with letting criticism roll off my back - this is my passion project and at the end of the day, my opinion on it is the only one that matters. im the only person who knows my intentions in every line, im the only person who poured myself into writing it, im the only person who has any sort of obligation to tetro. if others like it, im glad! but its not the end of the world if they dont

thank you for the kind ask anon!

[flock-of-cassowaries]

The worst man.

…and I just realized something: By killing Marissa, Hannibal further alienated Abigail from any possible source of support.

Not that Marissa’s mother wanted her around Abigail anyway, but Ms. Schuur, far from being “rude” was fiercely loyal to Abigail - enough to reach out to her against the tides of public and parental opinion, and to defend her against Nick Boyle’s grief-fuelled confrontation.

I initially thought Hannibal killed Marissa primarily to frame Nick Boyle for Cassie Boyle’s murder, but now I think he was targeting Abigail almost from the jump.

I often see her role in the story reduced to that of “baby-trap baby”, but I think she was actually just as much of a target of Hannibal’s “I shall build myself a companion who understands and accepts my murdering!” fixation as was Will.

Like, from the way he seemingly casually slits her throat when Will rejects him, it’s easy to conclude that he never invested much in her.

…but it also seems possible that perhaps he thought she was just as much of a prospective companion as Will, albeit in a Father-Daughter Murder-Duo! way, rather than a “he ___ on my ___ until I ___ (and then we go murder some poor schmuck who didn’t smile at me while handing me my luxury goods purchase)” way.

I prefer this interpretation, personally, because it humanizes Hannibal just a little, while also allowing for the implication that perhaps he felt he was losing her just as much as he was on the cusp of losing Will at the end of s2.

I guess find it slightly less despicable to think that he killed at her because he knew that she would inevitably reject him now that he’d failed to get Will onboard (as opposed to reading it as purely a case where he could so easily reduce her to a means to do emotional violence to Will).

Like, ultimately, both are awful, because both fundamentally disrespect her as a person with agency, and abusive men who kill their partners and/or children rather than lose them are monsters.

But I think it’s a monstrousness I can almost understand as an extremely exaggerated, entitled, absolutely unforgivable version of something I have felt. Like, it’s not okay, I’m not making excuses for it at all, but at least I can kind of simulate the headspace?

If he’s just killing her to hurt Will, then… as a writer / audience member, I don’t know what to do with that. That’s an even further bridge for me, and I’m not trekking out there.

[ We probably all know this, but just for my peace of mind, Imma say it here:

Hannipologetics aside - anyone who ever threatens you, or your pets / loved ones should be excused from your life as quickly as you can manage while preserving your physical safety. Don’t fuck around.

Will may have been able to ‘change’ Hannibal, but Hannibal is a fictional character, vulnerable to the audience and author’s desire to write the story of a character who changes. Stories with no character arc are not terribly interesting.

In the real world, there is no such force compelling violent people to change, and they rarely do, especially in the context of relationships where they have previously been violent or threatening.

Also, the real-world levers we do have to pressure violent people to change - e.g. court-mandated treatment - are often woefully ineffective. ]

Honestly, I don't think we pay enough attention to how Hannibal "comforts" Marissa's mom after he kills her. It's so... cruel.

"Like a paternal shield" in regards of Abigail makes me feel so unwell.

[snail--man]

even though ive been out as trans for over 3 years (i think?) i still feel so much euphoria and happiness whenever i hear someone refer to me with my correct pronouns

[jojo-schmo]

The 24 Character Strengths are awesome references when writing characters!!

I've found this website to be extremely helpful and cool while fleshing out my characters' personalities and motivations.

Even if I only have basic personality traits for a character, exploring strengths that I feel fits them and reading their descriptions is fantastic for inspiration!! It really helps narrow down the basic ideals I imagine a character would believe in, and then I can get more specific from there. It's a great guide to springboard off of!

Each strength is sorted into one of six virtues. Starting with a broad virtue, for example "justice," and honing that down into the strengths of "fairness," "leadership," or "teamwork" makes writing them really fun!

Here's an example of the "fairness" strength description! Lots of detail and tangible qualities describing it!

Of course there are infinite ways to interpret a character strength, just like in real life. And people aren't always black and white and follow a strength 100% of the time. But it's been extremely helpful to see specific traits being described in so much detail, and imagining different scenarios that a character would react in. It's like I can understand them a bit more and think a little like them, especially if their trait isn't one of my personal strengths. :3

But I also recommend taking the actual personality test for yourself! I took it years ago and it was really cool to put a name to some of my strengths and see how detailed this descriptions were. And when my friends and I shared our results, I felt like we understood each other just a little more. :)

Just thought I'd share this reference that's been helping me lately :D

[enrapture]

Protecting my peace and learning to move on. Accepting the things I cannot control and taking it all as lessons. You can’t force people to change, you can’t force people to understand you, you can’t force it to work if the other side isn’t willing to put in the effort because they want to. You can’t force friendships, relationships, people to treat you right. You can’t force anyone or anything. Accepting things as they come and as they go.

If they wanted to, they would.

[radicalrascals]

Nick shakes his head slowly, the slight frown yielding a smile. "You don't have to tell me, because I know. You show me every day." He takes a deep breath, trying to replay the scene in his head. It doesn't make sense and yet it does. A little uncomfortably so, but eventually he chuckles, if purely to express his disbelief, not because the two people he loved acting like assholes was suddenly funny to him.

"I'm pretty sure Rafa didn't want you to defend yourself either." He quickly raises his hand as to stop Hari from adding his tuppence, because one thing Nick needs to make clear: "It wasn't fair. He has no right to test you. And while I think it's..." he swallows any and all negative adjectives that come to mind and just shakes his head for a place holder instead, "It probably made sense in Rafa's weird brain and he didn't mean ill, even if he was being exceptionally... provocative..." The last word is almost whispered. Realisation hits and Nick bites his lower lip, frown back in place. "I know you wanted to leave and I'm not going to stop you, if you still want to. But if you're still here when I get back, that'd be nice. I just need to...", he picks up his half-smoked rollie and wiggles it about, before he gets up and places a brief kiss on Hari's hair.

Outside, Rafael's fingernails dig into his palm but he keeps himself firmly locked in place, not giving into the desire to pace and throw his arms around in wild gestures while trying to explain himself. He has a thousand things on the tip of his tongue but he swallows them all, for they were knives rather than shields. Eventually he just settles on an almost too neutral elucidation for someone so clearly passionate and governed by emotions: "The question was if he would break Nico's heart, not if his wife would. And if someone would ask me if I would cheat on you and they would name all the women I'm friends with, my colleagues, everyone I ever dated and, yes, my ex-wife included, I would still say 'no, I would not cheat on you and I have no romantic feelings for any of these people mentioned.' This has never been an attack towards his ex-wife nor him having an ex-wife in the first place." And he looks the other way before he gives in to a 'but you keep making it into something I never said.'

Still he mutters: "And I don't hate him."

"Good. I would still love him if you did," Nick could see Rafa being taken aback by Nick's sudden appearance, so he uses the brief moment of his older brother trying to wrap his head around the new situation to walk up to him and wrap his arms around him: "Cê não precisa esconder que tá magoado."

"I'm not."

"Tisha, can you please punch my brother in the shoulder. I'd do it myself but I don't feel like driving anyone to the hospital tonight." He lets go of Rafael and lights his smoke and finally, finally gets to enjoy it. "You don't give people a chance to treat you right, Rafa, and you think I'm the same. But I actually say if something bothers me. And you know what? Hari listens. And he can accept a no. But you think you gotta save everyone and be a martyr in the process. That's hurting people too, you know?! And I bet Tisha and I could tell you for hours and days how wonderful Hari is, but I want you to go back inside and see for yourself. And this time, when you apologise, make it sound less estúpido, yeah? And can you also try to forgive him too? Tisha, did I forget something?"

“He was… he told me that if I broke your heart with anyone, my ex or whoever, there would be consequences.” Hari sighs. “And I told him that if he ever talked about the mother of my children that way again, I would punch him in the mouth.” He’s really not sure what sounds worse in hindsight, the threat or the defence. “In the moment, all I was thinking was… fuck this, she’s not here to defend herself, she’s engaged - fine, he hates me, but why is he dragging her through the mud too?” He explains, slow shake of his head like he’s chiding himself instead of relaying the information.

“I’ve always been better at defending other people than myself. But he wanted me to defend this, us, not… I could have handled it better, in a few ways. And I will apologize to him, when he and Tisha are done out there.” But something else sticks in his mind, something Nick said before he asked- “But you are the person I wanted to say all that to. About... what you mean to me. At least, the first person. It’s too important to say it in an argument, to prove something to your brother. I had to say it to you.”

Tisha chews on the inside of her cheek for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. "No, you shouldn't have. You would have reacted just as badly if Hari brought up your ex wife, whether he was looking out for me or not. And I would be just as mad at him for implying that you'd break my heart by going back to her." Is what finally comes out, as if this reframing will make a difference. "And I would want you to defend her, if you felt her character was being questioned. Snowden… Nobody here is anybody’s first love. Singling out Hari for being divorced is hypocritical and you know that. His youngest is ten years old, his ex is going to be in his life for a while.”

I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. It’s not the time for poetry, but it flares into her mind anyway. “You two probably would have liked each other if you spent tonight getting to know each other instead of looking for reasons not to. And now Nick has to decide if he can be with someone that his big brother hates, and that fucking sucks."

[halfricanloveyou]

“hey so we’re gonna need you to focus up and pay attention and not talk for 3 hours straight. and no you can’t look at your phone or ask brief questions or think out loud and 98% of what will be said won’t apply to you.”

“also i know you have adhd and that you said your adderall wore off but so do i. you just have to learn.”

do you seriously think i am capable of that. what if i blew you up with a cool wizard beam attack? what if the beam was purple.

[satellitedarling]

haha god listening to music and having scenarios in your head is so fun, yes the scenarios are about a hypothetical good relationship with my parents why do you ask

[16-puppies]

I don’t really have the energy right now to argue any more than I will in this post as to why I don’t really like the phrase but since im ‘traumagenic’ I just want to say beforehand that personally, it just makes me uncomfortable. It’s not necessarily about what it represents, but it’s the wording and what it could theoretically imply, just going off of wording alone. Obviously, since my system comes from trauma, I’m biased towards that viewpoint but I do understand that plurality isn’t limited to what I experience. It’s just hard to shake the idea that plurality can be something purely positive since that’s just not what I experience. That’s my own problem though, I suppose.

I do understand where you’re coming from in some of these points and after reading it I do get what you’re trying to say and accomplish here, although I have an additional interpretation. It’s like the lefthandedness chart to me, plural acceptance will lead to more people realizing they are plural. And that’s a good thing, yes! But I need you and everyone else using the phrase to understand that at first glance it really doesn’t come off like what you’re describing or even what I just described, and it seems like many of the people who are in favor of it aren’t interpreting it the way you see it either. I’ve seen many posts about it claiming that it *doesnt* imply there will be more plurals, in an effort to look better to traumagenic systems like myself who aren’t completely on board with the phrase. I also don’t appreciate how traumagenic systems who take even the slightest offense to it are being treated by the ones in favor of it just because the phrase bears resemblance to other phrases calling for acceptance like “the future is trans” — i feel like it’s obvious that when including systems who are formed from trauma the community should be receptive of their concerns since this is a very sensitive topic, and yet I’ve seen far too many people compare traumagenic systems to angry transphobes who are “traumatized” by the “woke left” just because they don’t want their very Real trauma seemingly paraded around like some award, even if you and others claim that’s not what’s happening.

Overall I think the phrase could have used some workshopping to avoid confusion , or the usage of the phrase should have been completely defined from the start so that confused and concerned onlookers have easy access to a post that explains what the movement is about in depth rather than tacking important info on to my random post lazily complaining about syscourse (/lighthearted) Obviously you can’t control all your followers or supporters of the phrase, but maybe if it was handled differently there would have been less assumptions about it? Either way, I think it’s well within the right of traumagenic systems to dislike the wording regardless of what it represents. You can’t force everyone to like it, even if it is meant to represent a good idea.

Again, I want to reiterate that I get where you’re coming from with this and I would love for plural acceptance too obviously, but I think it should have been handled differently because the feelings of traumagenic systems are important too.

(I won’t be responding to this any further, the original post was just meant to be a jokey thing anyways.)

i love seeing system positivity posts because it makes me feel less Fake about it but god i hate all the discourse. why is tumblr just discourse. Everyone explode NOW

also why is plural tumblr so bad at wording things. “guys nooooo ‘the future is plural’ is about acceptance of plurality!!1!1!” okay but. surely you see what it sounds like right. Surely you do. Why are you defending the worst slogan i’ve ever heard This hard. ‘the future is singlet’ doesn’t sound right either. Can we all just kill ourselves /ref

[mars-ipan]

iii…. don’t know what romance is