#i already blow my friends kisses all the time. sometimes real close friends will exchange kisses on the cheek or the top of the head with me

[mars-ipan]

iii…. don’t know what romance is

[sequinsmile-x]

Hi, would you like to write a new chapter of Retour Des Morts please? I think it'll be interesting to see how they come back after all that. Have you ever considered writing where Emily doesn't come back to the BAU? Sometimes, I think if she already has a home, she won't be doing what she did in canon. She might be more into building a new place and also reassuring Jack and Hotch (or whoever will come next :>)

hiiii bestie

Ever since you sent this in I have thought about this constantly. Retour Des Morts is one of my favourite things I've written, and the fact you asked for this close to two years after I wrote it means a lot.

I hope you like this and that it lives up to what you wanted <3

-x-

Retour à La Vie

Aaron and Emily work to put their life back together after she returns from the dead.

A sequel to Retour Des Morts

-x-

Words: 4.1k

Warnings: pregnancy, lots of big feelings

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

They get married within a week of her coming back from the dead. 

It’s not what she’d ever imagined her wedding would be like. There’s no white dress, no crowd of wellwishers watching with tissues clasped in their hands as she and Aaron exchanged vows. It’s just the two of them and Jack in the judge's chambers at the courthouse, a small bouquet Aaron had bought her that morning the only traditional sign that they were getting married. It’s no less special to her, no less meaningful, the happiness she feels when the judge declares them husband and wife overwhelming. 

The first kiss they shared as a married couple tasted of their tears with a chaser of desperation, the fact that just two weeks ago he’d thought she was dead not lost on either one of them. Whilst it’s not what she’d pictured she’s glad it’s what she ended up with, an intimate moment with the man she loves and the little boy she loves as her own. 

She knows Aaron was still struggling to believe it was real, that her suddenly being back with him wasn’t a cruel dream his subconscious was tormenting him with. She could feel it in how tightly he’d hold her, how he’d look for her in a room the moment he stepped into it. How he’d bury his face in her collarbone as they had sex, as if he wanted to crawl under her skin and stay there, desperately seeking solace in the place in her chest that she’d carved out for him years ago. 

She can’t blame him, because she feels the exact same way. It’s what she’d spent 7 months wishing for, what she’d pictured when she scrunched her eyes shut in a cold, uncomfortable bed in Paris, desperate to fall asleep. The memory of his embrace, of how having his arms around her would shut her brain off, stop all the noise that came with being her, just out of reach. 

When the team found out they’d married in secret the reactions were mixed. Fury, sadness and confusion at being left out painted across their friends' faces when they all went to Dave’s house for dinner. Their accusations of keeping a secret fell flat when Aaron reminded them, his glare fixed on JJ and Derek, that he’d been kept out of the loop on a lot of things. He was angry, and she was too, and she didn’t know if their relationships with the team, with the people she knew had made decisions to protect them both, would ever truly recover. 

She smiles as she hears the front door open, the tension in her chest that she felt every time she was separated from him, from her husband, dissipating immediately. She knew they couldn’t live like this forever, that it wasn’t healthy for them to be so codependent, but she was giving them both the grace they needed, and deserved, for now. She sits up and places her book down, not sure she’d absorbed anything she’d been reading, and her smile only gets wider as he steps into the room. 

“Hi honey,” she says softly, “How was work?” 

He blows out a steady breath and leans down to kiss her, stamping his lips against hers before he walks around it to join her. He places his briefcase on the coffee table and sits next to her, his hand heavy and warm as he places it on her thigh. 

“Long,” he replies gruffly, smiling when she raises her eyebrow at him, “I missed you.” 

She places her hand on his, rubbing her thumb back and forth over his wedding ring, “I missed you too.” 

She’d made the decision not to back to work yet. The thought of it paralysed her, fear she didn’t quite understand overwhelming her every time she thought about it. She was unsure if she even wanted to go back, if she wanted to put herself back in the line of fire in a dangerous job when she’d already lost so much. She also knew Aaron and Jack had been through so much too, they’d buried her. They’d mourned her, and she wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to forgive herself if they had to do that again. 

She wasn’t sure they’d be able to forgive her either, and the thought of that hurt more than anything. 

Her gaze drifts from their joint hands to his briefcase, and she frowns slightly when she sees a newspaper sticking out of it, a circled home in the open real estate section visible through the open zip. She smiles at her husband curiously, her head tilted as her eyes meet his. 

“Are you planning on moving sometime soon?” She asks, reaching for the newspaper and pulling it out, her eyebrows raised as she realises it’s one of many circled homes on the first page alone, “Or are you starting a new career in real estate and you don’t know how to tell me?” Her smile fades when she looks at him again, the tension in his jaw, the way he avoids her gaze, enough to make concern flood her belly, “Aaron?”

He sighs and shakes his head at himself, his lips pressed together as he tries to find a way to tell her. He’d wanted to wait a little while, to figure out how to broach the subject. She loved this house. They’d spent weeks going to viewings and looking for somewhere perfect, but he was starting to feel suffocated here. 

Any joy he had once found in these walls had been buried with her, but they hadn’t come back from the dead, hadn’t crawled out of the hole he’d forced it into. 

“I…I’ve been thinking it would be good for us to find somewhere new,” he says, and she stares at him, her mouth falling open slightly as his unexpected confession washes over her. 

“Oh,” she says, her eyes drifting back down to the newspaper, the pages crinkling slightly in her tight grip. 

“Yeah,” he replies, clearing his throat, hating the tension that had quickly filled the room, “I think we need a fresh start. Jack too.” 

She furrows her brows as she looks up at him, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she blows out a steady breath, “But…we love this house.” 

He doesn’t understand the anger that licks through him, burning in his veins in a way it so rarely did, a phantom that had haunted him since his childhood, something he could never quite outrun.

“We held your wake in this room, Emily,” he says, harsher than he means to, the way her eyes widen, how she recoils away from him ever so slightly, the thing that calms him down. He sighs as guilt chases away his anger. “You sit in this room and you think of the night we moved in. When we sat on the floor with Jack and ate pizza because the couch hadn’t been delivered yet,” he says, unable to stop smiling at the memory, but it fades quickly, “I think of sitting right here with Jack after everyone left after your wake,” he clenches his teeth and looks down at his lap, tears burning in the back of his eyes, “I think of the fact I slept on this couch for weeks because even the spare rooms upstairs held too many memories.” 

She blows out a slow breath and looks up at the ceiling, shaking her head as she wipes away a stray tear from her cheek, “Aaron, I am so-”

“I don’t need you to keep apologising sweetheart,” he says, reaching for her hand and holding it desperately, her bones popping against each other, “I want to move past this with you. Move on with our lives and just…”

He drifts off, unsure how to put it into words and she squeezes his hand back. She places the newspaper down and shifts closer to him, their knees pressed together as she cups his cheek with her free hand, forcing him to look at her. 

“Just start living again,” she finishes for him, and he chuckles, the sound wet as it catches on his ribs, and he nods. 

“Yeah,” he agrees, clearing his throat as his voice cracks, “I want that more than anything.” 

She looks around the living room, at the memories on the walls in the form of photographs. At the tv stand they’d built together, the fireplace they decorated every season. She once thought she’d live here forever, that this was the place she’d build a family with him, but when she was gone, dead to him and almost everyone she knew, it wasn’t the house she’d missed.

It was him. It was Jack. They were her home.

“Okay,” she says quietly, resting her forehead against his, “We’ll find somewhere new,” she says, stroking her thumb back and forth over his cheek, lamenting the loss of his beard since he’d gone back to work. 

She smiles when his eyes get brighter and his smile gets wider, as if a weight she hadn’t known he was carrying had been lifted from his shoulders, “Really?”

She’d miss this house, but it was something she was willing to lose if it made him happier. She nods and kisses him, tasting the smile he presses against her lips.  

“Really.” 

___

Six Months Later 

Emily sighs as the car comes to a stop, nerves making her belly roll as she stares at Dave’s house. She lifts her hand to her mouth without thinking, ready to chew her cuticles, but Aaron catches her hand halfway, linking their fingers together and squeezing. She turns to look at him and smiles tightly, relaxing slightly as he lifts their joint hands to his lips to kiss her knuckles. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” He asks, squeezing her hand again as they drop to the centre console, “We don’t have to tell them tonight if you don’t want to.”

She smiles softly at him, love for him warming her from the inside out as he looks at her like she’s made of something precious and she shakes her head, “No, we should tell them,” she says, placing the hand not wrapped up in his on her slightly rounded belly, “I don’t think I’d be able to hide it much longer anyway, I’m starting to resemble a blimp.” 

She was convinced it would take a long time to get pregnant, the warnings of her doctors in France echoing around in her head as she and Aaron discussed expanding their family. They’d decided to start trying right away even though things had still been rocky at the time, their lives and their relationship on unsteady ground, their love for each other the only thing that kept them on track for the easier path ahead. It had surprised her when she stood in the bathroom of their old house with a positive pregnancy test just two months after she came home. Despite the timing not being ideal, she was happy, and she knew he was too. She was almost halfway through her pregnancy now, and she knew it was time to share the news with the people she once called her family

No one else other than Jack, Jessica and Emily’s doctor knew about the baby, about the little girl growing steadily under Emily’s skin. It wasn’t because she didn’t want their friends to know, but because of a lack of opportunity. Aaron saw them every day at work but she still hadn’t gone back. And now she never would. She’d met with Strauss only the day before and officially changed her career break into retirement from the FBI. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do going forward, what she’d do once she was more settled back into her life and her baby was born, but she knew it was the right decision. 

She wanted to be what she’d never had - a present parent, and she no longer felt like that was something she could do in a career that had almost killed her. 

“You’re beautiful,” he says, placing his hand over hers on her bump, “Both of you.” 

She hums and leans in to kiss him, stamping her lips against his before she pulls back, “Come on,” she says, “We’d better get in there before Dave sends out a search party.” 

As she steps out of the car she adjusts her sweater, making sure the baggy material isn’t clinging to her bump, and then she reaches for Aaron’s hand, squeezing it tightly as they approach the house. 

The evening is easier than she thought it would be, the slight tension she still felt at times around them, JJ in particular, more bearable than it used to be. If any of them notice she isn’t drinking wine they don’t mention it, all of them content to act as if nothing had changed, as if seven months ago she hadn’t been dead to almost everyone sitting around the dining table. 

“So, peaches, are you ever coming back to work?” Penelope asks, her lips pushed out in a pout as she looks at her friend, “I miss seeing your beautiful face in the office. "

Emily chuckles politely and she looks at Aaron and he nods, his hand on her knee under the table a much needed comfort. She takes a moment to breathe slowly before she looks at her friends.

“Yesterday I gave Strauss my official notice that I’m going to be retiring from the FBI,” she says, pressing her lips together when she sees the shock spread across their faces, a tidal wave of emotions sweeping through them all, “The paperwork has all been filled out, so I won’t be coming back.” 

The room falls into silence and it hangs over them all, cloying and suffocating like a thick blanket as her words sink in. 

“Why?” Spencer asks, the first to get his ability to speak back, “I thought you loved your job.” 

“I did,” she says, smiling sadly as she shakes her head, “I do. I just…” she looks at Aaron and any tension that had gathered in her chest disappears the moment their eyes meet, his love a balm for any ailment she felt, and she looks at her friends again, “I love my family more. This is the right thing for us. Jack is doing so much better now, and his therapist says it is partly because he has a more consistent life now,” she shrugs and chuckles humourlessly, “How can I take that away from him just because I like my job?” 

Dave sighs and sits backwards, his hands on the back of his head as he looks back and forth between her and Aaron, “That makes sense.”

Derek nods, clearly not agreeing but aware of his place in Emily’s life now, how he had lost her trust, “We’ll miss you, Princess. We already do.” 

She smiles and nods, “I’ll make more of an effort to come in and see you all,” she says, aware that she was partly to blame for how things were between them, that her resistance to going to the office whilst she was on her career break had been a factor. She places her hand over Aaron’s on her knee and links their fingers together, “Plus,” she says, clearing her throat in an attempt to hide her smile as she nods her head towards him, “I’ve already promised this one I’ll bring the baby in to see him all the time anyway.”

There’s another moment of silence, shock and joy rolled into one as it fills the air and her lungs, making her feel like she can breathe clearly for the first time since she’d got out of the car. The room descends into chaos, and Penelope is out of her chair before any of the others can even react, wrapping her arms tightly around Emily who is still sitting down. 

“You’re having a baby?” She squeals, making Emily chuckle with her enthusiasm, and she nods, placing her hand on Penelope’s arm that was tight around her neck. 

“Yes,” she laughs, “But only if you don’t choke me before she’s born.”

“She?” Penelope squeals again, forcing Derek to make a joke about his hearing as she switches to hug Aaron instead, and they all laugh in between congratulating them, and for a moment everything feels exactly as it should. 

Emily eventually steps out for some air and to grab another soda from the kitchen, shaking off Aaron’s attempts to go get it for her with nothing more than a soft smile. She rolls her neck and places her hand on her bump as she walks to the fridge, grateful for a moment of silence away from the dozens of questions. 

“Congratulations.” 

She turns and looks at JJ, her smile tight as she nods gratefully, “Thank you.”

JJ clears her throat as she steps closer, her arms tight over her chest as she looks at the floor, the awkwardness between them still as fresh as it was the day Emily came home, “So you’re 19 weeks along?” 

Emily nods, her hand on her belly as she sees JJ looking at it, “Yeah, I turn 20 weeks next Wednesday.”

JJ nods, her teeth sinking into her lower lip, “And you said you’re having a girl.” 

She smiles, “Yeah, a girl,” she says, her smile getting wider when she feels the baby move as if she knew she was being spoken about, “Jack is excited, he said he wanted a little sister from the moment we told him.” 

JJ’s smile changes as she steps closer, sadness creeping in, somehow making her eyes seem darker, “There was a time when you would have told me the moment you found out.” 

Emily immediately feels anger rush through her, rolling in her belly alongside her daughter, and she clenches her teeth, but it’s not enough to capture the words that escape her, “Well, there was a time when I didn’t think you’d lie to me for 7 months,” she shrugs, “I guess things have changed.” 

JJ closes her eyes and shakes her head, “I don’t know how many times I have to say I did what I had to do,” she says as she looks at her, “One day you’re going to have to forgive me.”

She scoffs and shakes her head, “No I won’t,” she says firmly, her arms crossed over her chest, “I don’t have to forgive you for this. I don’t think I can.” 

“Em-”

“If it was just me…” Emily shouts, cutting over JJ before she clears her throat to calm herself down, her daughter’s kicks getting sharper as her blood pressure increases, “If it was just me,” she says again, her voice softer this time, “I would have been able to get past it. But you lied to Aaron, you let him and Jack think I was dead after they’d already lost Haley and I can’t get past that.” 

JJ clenches her jaw to stop herself from crying and looks up, “I did what I thought was right.” 

“We had to move. Because every corner of that house changed for them. Jack still has nightmares. He sleeps in our bed more often than he doesn’t and Aaron…” She shakes her head and looks away, turning her head so she can wipe away a stray tear before she looks back at her friend, “Sometimes when he first wakes up he still thinks it’s not real. He never says it, but I can see it in his eyes. The flash of panic, the relief when he realises I’m right there. I don’t know if I can forgive you for doing that to him.” 

They fall into silence and JJ sighs, running her fingers through her hair as she shakes her head, “I am sorry, Em. It was an impossible situation.”

“I know that,” she says, “And I know part of it is my fault, it’s because of my decisions before I’d even met Aaron. But your decisions put them through something we will live with our entire lives. I can’t forgive that but…I think one day I’ll be able to live with it.” 

The spark of joy that flashes across JJ’s face makes her ache, “Really?” 

She nods and chokes on a laugh, “Yeah,” she says, wiping away another tear from her cheek, “Really. My little girl is going to need her Aunt JJ to balance out the crazy from Aunt Pen.” 

JJ laughs, the sound catching on a sob as she pulls Emily into a hug, and it feels like a step in the right direction.

___

Six Months Later

Emily shushes her daughter as she paces the living room, holding the two-month-old against her chest as she pats her back, burping her after her 3 am feed.

“I know sweet girl,” she mumbles against the baby’s temple as she fusses, wholly against the idea of settling back down to sleep, “Life is so hard when you’re 8 weeks old and Mommy can’t constantly feed you.” 

Renee was born on her due date, arriving right on time into the world in a way Emily had joked ever since was something she’d inherited from Aaron. He’d always reply that he was glad she’d got something from him, since the baby girl was Emily’s double in every other way. She couldn’t deny it, as the weeks passed the resemblance became even clearer, and features she’d hated her whole life on her own face, such as her nose, were suddenly beautiful to her when she saw them on her daughter. 

“Give her a break, she just happens to love your breasts.” 

She smiles wryly as she turns to look at her husband, her eyebrow raised as his eyes meet hers from where he is standing in the doorway, “Well, at least that’s another thing she got from you.” 

He chuckles and walks over, stamping a quick kiss against her lips, “True enough,” he says, kissing her again before he pulls back, “Have you been awake for long?” 

She shakes her head and looks down to see Renee is now fast asleep against her, ��Maybe 30 minutes or so,” she replies, walking over and slowly lowering herself to the couch, “I’m sorry if we woke you up.” 

“You didn’t,” he says as he joins her, his arm automatically around her shoulders as she settles against his side, “I woke up and you were gone so…”

It was the year anniversary of her return from the dead, of the start of the journey they’d been walking together ever since. Sometimes it felt like no time at all, like she’d blinked and she was here with him and their children in a new house. Other times she could feel every second, every moment of doubt and pain and sadness that they’d had as they navigated to where they were now. To the life she liked to think they both deserved. Quiet and so achingly normal she sometimes wanted to cry at the beautiful simplicity of it all. 

She hears what he hasn’t said, what his brain will still trick him into even a year later, and she sighs sadly, pressing her lips against his cheek, “We’re right here.” 

“I know,” he says, capturing her lips in a kiss, “My girls.” 

She smiles and nods, the moniker never failing to warm her from the inside out even though he’d said it countless times ever since they’d found out they were having a daughter. 

“Your girls,” she confirms, kissing him again before she turns her attention back to the sleeping baby on her chest, “Sometimes I still can’t quite believe I have all of this.” 

He wasn’t the only one who was prone to thinking that this was all too good to be true, that one day she’d wake up and she’d still be in Paris, the last year of her life nothing more than a fantasy she had come up with to sleep through the night. 

“You do sweetheart,” he says, kissing the side of her head as his hand shifts to the back of Renee’s head, his fingers following the swirling pattern of her dark hair.

“We’re all right here,” he says, repeating her words, “Rey is right here with us, Jack is upstairs in his room,” he says, kissing the right of her head, “We’re all here.” 

She nods, turning her head so her forehead is pressed against his cheek, the feeling of his breath skipping across her skin relaxing her, a gentle reminder of what she had now, what she’d once died to protect. 

“Yeah,” she says, “We really are.” 

-x-

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[babyboibucky]

Obvious

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky are more than friends but less than lovers.

Word Count: 1,700

Warnings: slight angst??? mention of injury???

A/N: Inspired by Ariana Grande’s “obvious” because I fucking love that song lmfao. Let me know if anyone wants to be included in my Bucky Barnes tag list! Will do separate tag lists for everything Bucky and Babysitting Bucky. Feedback is highly appreciated!

MAIN MASTERLIST

---

You and Bucky weren’t lovers, no. But you were definitely not just friends either.

There were kisses early in the morning, while both of you were cuddled in bed basking in the warmth of the sunlight spilling through the thin curtains; soft and subtle touches in the afternoon as the two of you navigated through the kitchen in an attempt to bake together. Slow touches late at night, cold metal fingers grazing you in just the right places that made you feel like on fire. And the exchange of whispers in the wee hours of night after coming down from the high of exploring each other’s bodies, uttered so softly, words meant only for each other to hear.

More than friends indeed, less than lovers? Maybe. Maybe not. Does it matter though? Because even without the words of affirmation, you loved Bucky and was sure that he loved you just as much.

Besides, you were obviously head over heels for the soldier. Not that you were denying or hiding it, in fact, you felt like you showed it a tad bit too much.

“Leaving so soon, soldier?” You’d asked with a pout as you watched Bucky leave your side on the bed.

“Duty calls.” He told you as he began to dress up.

Noticing your frown, he chuckled and approached you on the bed, bending down to press a kiss on your forehead.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He reassured you, smoothening out the crease on your forehead with his thumb.

“But I wanna cook you dinner.” You told him.

The thought of you and Bucky spending a domesticated evening together always elated you. You loved daydreaming about it, about sharing a life with your super soldier. Him coming home after a mission and you making sure to take good care of him. Maybe run him a bath while you prepared dinner. Silly, it seemed but you couldn’t help imagining all the possibilities with Bucky. Letting him sleep in on Sundays while you go on a jog, only to come back home with pancakes and bacons waiting for you in the kitchen. And Bucky of course, fresh out of bed with his hair sticking up in different directions.

Being with an Avenger of course, made it difficult to experience all these things. Sometimes you’d wake up alone but Bucky always made sure to leave you a little note.

I’ll be back soon, beautiful.

His notes found a home in one of your drawers. There were plenty and although these notes symbolized his absence on most days, they also meant promises. Promises to make it up for the lost time, promises that were never broken nor forgotten.

Dinner dates were often postponed, sleepovers a rare occurrence— spending time together in general, wasn’t as easy as it was for other couples out there.

But that’s okay. Because you’d always wait for Bucky. You’d wait for him to come home and even if it’d take him three days, one week, two months or even a year, you’d still wait and welcome him with hugs and kisses and affectionate whispers.

Sometimes you wondered whether Bucky knew how much you loved him.

Disagreements were of course, unavoidable even between you and Bucky. Oftentimes, the arguments would stem from his carelessness and selfless decisions during missions. Your super soldier, always so giving and generous and kind. You couldn’t care less about what others thought of him and his days under the influence of monsters. The moment you knew you loved Bucky, you had already accepted him. And that included his demons and dark days too.

To you, Bucky had always been kind and put others first before himself. Sometimes a little too much that you couldn’t help but feel hurt that he didn’t seem to care how you’d feel if ever he wouldn’t make it home.

If Sam hadn’t called you that night, you wouldn’t have known about the serious injury inflicted on Bucky while on a mission.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked as soon as you barged into the medical bay, ignoring the nurse who immediately scrambled out of the room.

Bucky laid in bed, bruised and wrecked and unable to respond upon seeing you seething with anger for the first time ever.

“Were you even planning to tell me in the first place?” You scoffed.

They needed to infiltrate another Hydra base. Raid the base, get all possible information and blow it up to ashes. But then Bucky found a secret basement at the very last minute, young women and men were kept— future Winter Soldiers. The serum hadn’t been injected into their systems yet, they were merely poor teenagers in captivity. Bucky knew he couldn’t let these young people suffer the same fate as him. With barely a minute left before the bomb was set to explode, Bucky did his best to save everyone in that basement.

Never mind the Falcon’s orders to abort his mission, never mind the back-up they had called for to help them out. Bucky knew the choices he had: walk away unscathed knowing that the back-up wouldn’t arrive in time to save the children, or stay behind and do his best to make sure that no one will become another toy for Hydra to play with.

Even if it meant risking his life, even if it meant leaving you back home unaware of his fate.

“They needed me. I couldn’t just leave them behind.” Bucky explained.

“And you didn’t think I needed you too?” You asked, eyes rimmed with tears.

God, you knew you were selfish for feeling hurt but you couldn’t help it. Did it not cross Bucky’s mind that if he had died, you’d be left behind too? Did you not cross his mind during that time?

“Look, I understand what the superhero life is all about. And I know that it’s fucking selfish of me to say this but...Bucky, I need you too. As much as the world does.”

It was a conversation that you and Bucky had many times now. But with how your love grew for him with each passing second, the thought of losing him, it had become too much for you to suppress.

Waking up without his little notes of reassurance that he’d be back soon, no more cold fingers tracing against the smooth expanse of your skin and having to sleep knowing that the next day, Bucky wouldn’t be there anymore— just the mere thought of losing him broke your heart.

“I can’t...” you breathed out, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, Buck.” You admitted with a shaky sigh as your tears continued to fall.

Bucky wanted to get up and pull you to an embrace, but he was too injured to do so. How we wanted to kiss your tears away, all he could do was extend a hand towards you, inviting you to come closer and touch him.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “I should have told you, I’m sorry. C’mere.”

Despite your anger, you didn’t think twice and immediately went to hold Bucky’s hand, squeezing it tightly as if you were trying to make sure that he was fine and real and that you didn’t lose him.

“Please stop being so reckless. With how much I love you, it drives me crazy whenever you come home all wounded and bloody and now—“

“You love me?”

Bucky had asked the question as if he couldn’t believe that yes, you do love him. Sam really wasn’t kidding when he said how dense Bucky was.

“Is it not obvious?” You asked, wiping away your tears.

“I mean yeah but...I just didn’t want to assume that you do because we never really talked about it.” He explained, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.

His metal fingers, although cold and hard against your skin, had always been your favorite. They were gentle when they needed to be, or at least whenever Bucky touched you. They were cold and made you shiver but always in a good way.

“Bucky, I’ve talked about wanting a future with you. You still didn’t think that that was love?” There was a hint of playfulness in your tone despite your deadpan expression.

Oh no, what if you interpreted everything the wrong way?

“Do you not...oh my god, Bucky am I the only one in love?” You asked, panicked.

“Oh god, no.” Bucky immediately clarified as he pulled you to sit down on the bed beside him.

“I love you. So much. Please don’t think otherwise.” He said, cupping your face and wiping away the remnants of your tears.

A smile followed by a quick peck on the lips. Bucky moved and gave you enough space to lay down beside him on the hospital bed. Suddenly, everything felt right. Not that it wasn’t before but with the both of you finally uttering those words, it felt different.

The perfect kind of different.

You laid your head against Bucky’s chest and listened to his heartbeat as his hand rubbed comforting circles on your back. You can’t imagine a life without being this close to him, your super soldier.

“I thought of you, you know.” His chest rumbled as he spoke.

You lifted your head up to look at him in confusion. He smiled at you lovingly, “During the mission. Every mission I go to actually, I thought of you.”

Bucky thought about how you always waited for his return no matter how long he took. He imagined what you’d be doing when he’d come back, would you still be asleep? Perhaps you’d be in the shower, singing. Bucky thought about how he’d kiss you as soon as he comes home, how he’d make you feel how much he missed you and your scent, how your smooth skin felt against his.

Every single time, Bucky thought about coming home to you. It was his motivation to stay alive no matter what. He knew you needed him as much as the world does.

Because he needed you just the same.

More than friends, indeed. Less than lovers? No, you and Bucky were more than that.

You were each other’s worlds.

[chateautae]

flirt | pjm. (m)

➵ summary :  park jimin is a notorious flirt, but so are you. when you both meet at a party after weeks of back and forth, it’s a matter of time before somebody gives in

➵ pairing : jimin x reader

➵ genre :  college!au, sexual tension, smut, pwp

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 4k

➵ warnings : super suggestive flirting, alcohol consumption (both parties able to consent), swearing, light dom and sub themes, soft dom!jimin, brat!reader, little bit of brat-handling, dirty talk, praising but also degradation? it’s hot i promise, use of slut, slight body worshipping, mentions of oral, jimin is hot and yes that’s a warning in itself, breast play, unprotected sex, penetrative + rough sex, bit of angsty sex, creampie cause i seem to not like it any other way

➵ a/n : and my first jimin fic is here!! dear god i love this boy to the moon and back so i got a bit carried with him lmao, hopefully this isn’t terrible cause i still need to edit it but your support and feedback are always appreciated!! <3

2 hours.

2 hours since you first came to this party. You’ve bumped into at least a hundred people, danced your legs numb, God knew how many and what concoction of drinks were inebriating your system and still, you hadn’t seen Park Jimin the whole night. 

The only reason you even dragged yourself to this party was because of him. You were initially bailing on the annual ‘one-last-hurrah-before-midterms’ party because you, like everyone else here had midterms haunting them Monday. It was Friday night and as the ever diligent student, you were planning to study over the weekend.

Though your nagging best friend Hoseok had other plans, threatening you to come with every piece of dirt he had on you until he finally sprinkled Jimin’s name into the mix. You couldn’t lie, it was the only reason you decided to hell with your education, wiggled into a barely-there dress and waltzed in with Hoseok ready to take the night on.

But when you hadn’t seen Jimin at all, you were left annoyed, pissed off and with a headache raking your brain.

Seeing him was a selfish desire, one you’d develop after realizing you had met your match when you first encountered Jimin. You were always fairly notorious for your flirtatious habits and touchiness, a sort of trademark of yours and the same was always said about a ‘Park Jimin’ unknown to you, sometimes described to be an even bigger flirt.

It automatically intrigued you, curious of what kind of rival you secretly harbored until one day, you chanced upon Hoseok who just so happened to be with Jimin. 

At first, you didn't think Jimin could be a daring flirt. He had this sweet smile and disciplined way of speaking that screamed innocent to you, his mannerisms and demeanor shy and introverted. He didn’t make big moves and so you wrote him off as just that. 

But it wasn’t until you started seeing him outside your class’ building, alone, and multiple times after that, enough for you to realize he was anything but shy or innocent.

You ended up observing that a) he was sex on legs, b) easily flipped between the persona of an angel and a demon and c) anything he did could seem flirting. 

You two hit it off without a hitch, your flirtatious tendencies meeting to form a relationship of mutual interest. It was clear as day, both your actions almost always held some sort of unknown intentions behind them, your every saying a double meaning. 

It became the norm between you two, anytime you met turning into a conversation riddled with innuendos, suggestive lip-biting or eyes that couldn’t help but wander. And you weren't stupid, you could tell he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. You two were dangerous, testing the limits of either’s control, hoping someone would give in and only left disappointed when nobody did. 

So when Hoseok mentioned this party, and graciously added Park Jimin’s name to it, you knew this was your chance. A party with buzzing bodies, loud music and copious amounts of alcohol was bound to set him off, especially if you were dressed scandalously and felt bolder with liquid courage pumping through your system.  

But it’d been 2 hours, and you hadn’t seen him all night. You were taking another shot in the kitchen, sulking by yourself and reflecting on the fact that you’d been duped by Hoseok. This party became useless to you, a mere waste of your time as you quickly discarded your cup and began stomping out of the kitchen.

You ventured further into the house to look for Hoseok’s 5’10 ass, tell him he’s the worst best friend for lying to you and that you were leaving this disappointment of a party.

You stepped around people mindfully, dodging them until you rammed smack dab into someone’s back, scrambling for an apology before looking at the unaffected victim.

Park fucking Jimin.

“Y/N!” Jimin beamed, holding a drink in his hand as he smiled widely.

“Jimin, hey! I thought you didn’t come tonight.” You attempted biting back your smile from finally finding him, shouting over the bass of the music as you met him on the dance floor.

“I just ran late. You know me, of course I’d be here!” Jimin raised his drink to his plump lips and sipped, stepping side-to-side in rhythm with the music. 

You couldn’t make him out that well, the disco lights of whatever lights system the only means of seeing him in the dark, but you swear the smirky grin on his face as he scanned you over wasn’t just a figment of your imagination, ecstatic that you already seemed to be reeling him in. “Do you want a drink?”

“No, I already had-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as someone’s raging body stumbled into yours suddenly, sending you off balance until Jimin reached out for you cautiously.

“Woah, easy there.” Jimin’s arms quickly held you, flashing a scolding look at the person who bumped into you and pulling you towards himself. “Are you here with someone tonight?”

“Yeah, Hoseok! I was looking for him.”

“Why’s that?”

“I.. wasn’t having fun, so I wanted to leave with him.” You swiftly masked the real truth, your voice becoming less of a shout as Jimin encased you, just a few centimeters between your bodies as you peered up at him, cheeks flushed with heat and alcohol.

“Leave with him? Damn, didn’t know you two were like that.” Jimin flashed you a suggestive look, raising his eyebrows.

“Shut up, you know we’re just best friends.” You both erupted into a fit of chuckles as you hit his chest, your hand smacking against his jacket and now that you were close, registered what a meal he looked like tonight; ripped black jeans, plain white t-shirt underneath a distressed jean jacket, all pulled together sexily by his tousled hair, small hoop earrings and a Chanel necklace decorating his neck.

Dear God, how many times you’ve ached to kiss that pretty, pretty neck.

You internally groaned, habitually drawing closer to him as you enjoyed the warmth of his body, nostrils filling with the familiar scent of his intoxicating cologne.

“So I hear you wanna have some fun.” Jimin perked up, eyes amused and hands smoothing over your sides slowly after faltering from your arms.

“Are you suggesting I’ll have fun with you?”

“Of course, gorgeous, but up to you how we do that.” Jimin stepped dangerously closer to you as his voice lowered, your face tucked into his chest as his body blocked other people from touching you.

Excitement shot to your center at his use of a pet name, a common occurrence during your exchanges though his choices of which always an added thrill. 

“And what if I just want to leave and eat at a diner instead?”

“Then I’d definitely take you, food and you? A win in my book.”

You cocked an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “Adding me to the mix suddenly makes it a win? I’m not the one on the menu, Park.” 

Jimin’s eyes seem to blow out, leaning down as his plushy lips ghosted your ear as he spoke, tone darkened, “We can change that, princess.”

A thrill shot throughout your body, hyper aware of his lips mere inches from your face as your heart began to race, turning towards him expectantly.

You began advancing slowly to decrease the gap between your mouths, feeling him inch forward in response, letting him hover just above your lips for a tease before you stopped, “I’d like to see you try, Park.”

Then you abruptly turned out of his hold and walked away, making it through a few people into a hallway, allowing yourself to breathe. You loved teasing Jimin, it was an incredibly entertaining pass time but dear God, did it knock the fucking wind out of you. 

You were mentally recuperating from the fact that he almost let you kiss him, distracted as you stepped away until someone suddenly snatched your arm and pinned you against the nearest wall. You were honestly shocked to see Jimin, surprised he actually took your bait and stayed on your trail to stop you. His dancing eyes held nothing but greed, evident even in the darkness of the party.

“You know just how to test people, don’t you?” Jimin warned as he narrowed his dangerous eyes at you, holding your hot-skinned wrists against the cool wall. 

“Of course I do, it makes things fun and last time I checked,”  You brought your face to his and left only an inch between you two, “that’s just what I want.”

Jimin visibly grew less tamed, glancing down towards your lips as he tried breathing controllably, “Careful what you wish for, princess. It might come true.” 

“And if that’s what I want?” You titled your head expectantly, licking your lips as you watched Jimin bite his own. He eyed you the whole time, making it a statement to drink you in every inch of you. 

You could smell the alcohol on him, assuming liquor was the only driving force behind his actions but then contemplated his level-headedness, his coherent speech and clear judgment in this moment.

Jimin was choosing to chase after you, choosing to not let you go after weeks of incessant back and fourth and you knew you were finally getting closer to exactly what you wanted. 

Park Jimin giving in. 

“You’re fucking hot.” Jimin commented, eyes eating you up hungrily.

“You’re hotter.” You grinned and leaned back against the wall, cleavage unintentionally popping out for him and Jimin’s look immediately shifted, bringing his body closer against yours.

“You look submissive as hell right now, is that what you like? To be dominated?”

“Only if you like to dominate.” 

Jimin could feel the reigns on his control snapping, biting down to contain his raw desire to fuck you. He’s been holding himself back, knowing you seemed willing on your end of the interactions but never wanting to take the leap in case it was all just an act. 

But as he watched you go along with his every comment, staring back at him with the same devious eyes and practically offering yourself to him in his hold, he knew you weren’t acting at all. 

“You talk a big game, but can you put your money where your mouth is?” Jimin leaned his hips against yours, ensuring you could feel his growing hardness. 

“My mouth can do a lot of fucking things, Park.” You jutted your hips into his.

Jimin shut his eyes frustratedly before he re-opened them, a downright obsidian colour taking them over.

“Go the fuck upstairs.” 

“Wh-”

“I said, go the fuck upstairs.” Jimin demanded, looking at you with conviction so searing you in fact did become submissive. 

“W-which room-” You didn’t complete your question as Jimin’s deft hands encased you and lifted you off the ground, bridal-style.

“Jimin-!” You exclaimed.

“Say another word and I’ll make sure you feel me in your throat.” 

You immediately swallowed your mouth shut as Jimin cluthed you to him, core alighting with desire as he carried you up the stairs. Jimin arrived at the second floor and rushed towards the first room with an ajar door, shutting it with your feet after entering.

He made towards the bed and practically threw you onto it, stepping away to lock the door before leaning against it, arms crossed and serious. 

“You sure you want this?” His voice came out considerate, no haste or pressure.

“Yes, Jimin.” 

“You’re completely sure?” 

You nodded incessantly. 

“I need your words, Y/N.”

“Yes.” You affirmed, unintentionally becoming submissive as you awaited him, and Jimin couldn't resist you, not any longer. He made towards your smaller figure on the bed and immediately crashed his lips onto yours, knee sinking into the mattress as he leaned over you, splaying you onto the bed.  

He held your wrists against the sheets, kissing you open as his plump lips worked tirelessly against your mouth. He continued to swallow you, opening up to catch all of you as he sank further downwards to feel your body arch into his.

His wet tongue glided over your lips and you welcomed him in lightspeed, letting his muscle entangle with yours hastily and you instantly loved the taste of him. 

Jimin’s kisses began deepening, exploring your mouth like he was dehydrated and your mouth was fresh water. His thigh began pressing against your core and you moaned into his mouth as Jimin disconnected from you, panting for air. 

“Don’t fucking do that.” He voiced frustratedly, his full lips swollen and pink as he tried to contain himself. 

“Do what?” 

“Fucking moan, it does shit to me.” 

“Sucks for you, I’m responsive as fuck.” You snipped as his sudden confession made you hot, squishing your thighs together. Jimin took notice and he flashed a look at your core. 

“Responsive, huh?” Jimin let go of your wrist, sliding his hand down your body before pressing his fingers to your heat through your dress. You instantly gasped, arching as you felt your walls clench around absolutely nothing. 

“J-Jimin.” you warned him weakly. 

“Mm?” Jimin paid no attention as he lowered himself to your neck and began kissing, tonguing, sucking at a spot that had you cowering and squirming underneath him. 

You groaned as your free hand tangled into his hair, hugging him to your neck as you basked in the glory of his plush lips devouring you. He was laving and nibbling at your skin, continuously kissing the area of your carotid all while rubbing his hand against your clothed cunt. Jimin began rutting his body against yours, the tip of his cock prodding you the more he moved.

“Fuck you, Jimin. This isn’t fair.” You moaned breathlessly

“As fair as it gets, princess. You wanted to see my try, yeah?” Jimin suddenly stopped his movements on your core and slid his hand up your bare thigh, only to shift your stained panties to the side and glide his fingers all over your bare pussy. You gasped Jimin’s name and tugged at his hair harshly, the alcohol hazing everything over with sensitivity and trying to sustain the sheer amount of pleasure he was rewarding you.

“N-nothing’s fair about this.”

Jimin smoothed the pads of his fingers over your slick core, eliciting your incessant gasps, “Fuck with my ego and I fuck with you, baby.” 

He was leaving purple marks all along your neck and chest, moving down to the valley of your breasts and you whined headily, hating that he had such an advantage in this position. 

You immediately grew bold enough to push him off by his chest, detaching him as Jimin looked at you confused. “Y/N, what the fu-” was all Jimin could get out before you stood up and gripped his cock through his pants, his breath immediately hitching. He looked at you with surprised eyes, growing weaker in your hold as you walked him back against a vanity in the room.

You had no clue who this room belonged to, but you could care less when you were minutes away from getting fucked by Park Jimin.

He let out breathy little moans as you palmed him, shutting his eyes in bliss as he turned harder by the second, leaning back against the counter. You planted your lips to his neck and mouthed fervently, making sure you embellished his skin with your desire for him. “F-fuck. Y/N, this isn’t fair.”

“Fuck with my ego and I fuck with you, baby.” You mocked him and began rubbing at his shaft, sucking hickies onto his pretty neck and licking over the areas your teeth grazed. Jimin continued groaning, hugging you close to him as he fisted his hands against your body, trying everything to cherish the pleasure he felt. 

The person he’s been desiring ever since he heard about you, his every nerve thrilled by your ability to counter him, match his energy of constant flirting and testing the waters, venturing further than him sometimes.

You were just so tempting and Jimin wanted every last bit of you. 

That sentiment increased when he felt your hands snake towards the belt of his jeans, unbuckling harshly with need so apparent he wanted nothing but to stuff your walls, now. 

“No, fuck off, getting inside you first.” Jimin denied your hands, capturing them in his hold.

You instantly whined, “But Jimin, want you to fuck my face.” You pouted into his neck, kissing along his collar bones as you rutted against him. 

“Fucking God, I’m destroying you for that.” Jimin wrapped you up in his arms and switched the positions, shoving you against the vanity, your ass on the edge of the counter as Jimin stood in between your spread out legs, lips meeting yours again. 

Jimin lifted the skirt of your dress up and over your backside, pooling around your waist as his hands slid over your fleshy thighs to the band of your panties. He pulled only to snap them back against your skin, the contact making you gasp.

“Why the fuck are you still wearing these?”

“And why the fuck are you still wearing clothes?” You chastised, hands greedily shoving his jacket off him even with your mouth attached to his.

Jimin didn’t allow the action to compromise your kiss either, practically ripping his jacket off and breathing hard against you as he threw it away. He then pulled his t-shirt over himself, revealing his toned, lean body underneath and only leaving his Chanel necklace hanging over his bare chest. You licked your lips at the sight of his smooth and pretty body, the outline of his abs like a work of art.

You reached out to touch him, his face and skin flushed with lust as he watched you. “You’re so hot, Jimin, so pretty.” You praised, eyes ogling him.

Jimin smirked proudly before speaking, “Your turn.”

He searched for the zipper of your dress and unzipped hastily, peeling away the top to reveal your naked breasts and now it was his turn to ogle at you.

“Fuck me, you’re prettier.” He huffed out, eyes blown out entirely.

“Probably not as pretty as your cock, let me suck.” You pouted playfully and pulled him closer to you with the back of your shins, hands greedily feeling up his bare chest.

“Only good girls get to suck my dick.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, you’re a fucking brat and a half.” Jimin started kneading your breasts, licking his lips as he watched you spread your legs wider for him and lean your head back out of pure bliss.

“I am not a brat, you just fucking take 10 years to get it on.” You snapped back, moaning in between at the way he groped your breasts, rolling the buds of your nipples with his fingertips.

“Sorry I was a fucking gentleman, didn’t know you were such a cock-hungry slut.” Jimin bit as he planted his thick lips to your perched nipple, eliciting curses from you as his tongue began swirling around, sucking teasingly.

“You just can’t fuck, isn’t it? All bark and no bite?”

Jimin scoffed darkly at that, sucking harder on your sensitive nipples before letting go with a pop. “I’ll fucking break you is why I kept holding off, you’ll regret this, princess.”

“Break me then, Jimin, please. Fuck me like you say you will, I need you.” Your arousal became unbearable as you grew hornier, rocking your hips against him for friction while he laved at either of your nipples.

“I will, baby. Get these off and I’ll fuck you so good.” Jimin tugged at your panties and you lifted your ass for him to discard them.

You unhooked Jimin’s belt and shoved into his pants, pulling his boxers and jeans down until you finally freed his leaking length, thick and throbbing to be treated.

What you always thought was right, his cock was pretty just like him. You graciously pumped him, spreading his pre-cum over the head as you watched him lean his head back, kissing under his jaw.

“So pretty, Jimin, just like you.”

Jimin stopped caring about any and everything and instantly grabbed one of your legs, spreading you wide open for him and situated himself before your entrance.

He brought a hand over yours pumping his member and moved you quicker against his hot flesh, looking down at the lewd scene and your pretty pussy aching for him.

“Look at you soaking, baby, so much prettier.” 

You moaned needily, the back of your shins urging Jimin closer to you again as you whined. “Jimin..”

“Raw?” he breathed impatiently. 

“Fuck yes, birth control.”

Jimin didn’t even take a millisecond before he was pushing against your hole, placing the hand that was pumping his member now against your pelvic bone, pressing down to feel himself sink inside of you.

You instantly careened, moaning out so loud that if there wasn’t music blaring in the house, everyone would know how stuffed Jimin made you feel.

“Fuck-Jimin! Stop doing that, it feels too fucking good..!” You nearly cried, the pressure of Jimin’s hand making you feel any and every ridge, vein and hardness of his thick cock, your walls drinking him in.

“Fuck you, this is what you get.” Jimin blurted as he buried himself to the hilt, groaning satisfyingly at your warm walls hugging him before plunging to make out with you.

Jimin began fucking you with conviction, determination to drive you insane for him as he spread you open. He thrusted fast and hard from the get-go, neglecting to set a pace knowing how much of a cock-loving brat you were. His thumb resting just above your clit dipped down to lightly play with your bud, tease it, all the while licking into your mouth and thrusting into you.

You gasped hard, so much that Jimin’s name was the only thing coherent within them and he swallowed all your sounds with his lips. Your body was on fire at the drag of his cock, shocked at how wet you were when he hadn’t even fingered or eaten you out, his cock doing all the work, leaving you only thinking of Park Jimin’s sheer power.

You wanted all of him so badly, wanted him to ruin you, destroy you like he said he would, fuck you open like he always insinuated he would.

“Jimin, please, harder! Fuck me like the brat I am, teach me a fucking lesson.”

“Princess likes it hard, huh? Want me to fuck this pussy up? Make it all mine?” Jimin’s words were so filthy they had you clutching onto him tightly, arousal gushing from you as Jimin impaled you harder, snapping into you.

His thumb continued its onslaught, your walls convulsing to his every stroke as you gripped his shoulders and kissed him, biting his plushy bottom lip as he fucked you harder.

“Mm, Jimin, fuck!” Your tits bounced as he pounded into you, taking his every thrust like a champ and he damn well shook the entire vanity, continuously drilling your hole as he gave no room for mercy. Your hands snaked into his hair and tugged, making him groan in approval and he only pushed you open wider in response.

“You pretty brat, look at you getting what you want. Fucked like the cock-loving princess you are.” Jimin breathed against your mouth, his skin slicking with sweat as he worked tirelessly against your opening, battering your pussy with an unforgiving speed.

“You would’ve gotten your dick sucked, but apparently-” you shuddered breathily, “I w-wasn’t a good girl.” You felt weak from his repeated onslaught, the bubbling pleasure in your gut keeping you going. 

“Yeah, so fucking behave and maybe I’ll let you choke on my dick.”

“Y-you stop playing games and maybe I’ll let you eat my pussy.”

Jimin only ticked his head to the side as he chuckled darkly, starting to propel his thick cock into your gut and raging at your clit so roughly, you gasped as you carved your pleasure into his skin. Jimin did the same as he bore his fingers into you, a hand squeezing your thigh harshly as he held your leg and your walls fluttered around him, moans growing higher in pitch.

“Jimin! I’m gonna-“ you didn’t even complete your sentence as your walls clamped around him, orgasm washing over you so quickly you barely realized it came. You clenched him like a vice and panted hard against his mouth, Jimin finally coming undone as well, spurts of cum painting your insides and filling you to the brim, certain he’d leak out of you for hours.

You felt stuffed, so full of him you were hazed over with post-orgasm bliss, mind unwinding from any trifling matter on Earth. Your forehead slacked against his shoulder as you both panted for air, sweating as Jimin held your weak body in his arms.

His cock remained shoved inside you, the throbbing letting up on both of you as your highs settled down.

“You..” Jimin swallowed dryly, breathing. “took me like a good girl. Maybe you can suck me off next time.”

“Next time?” You breathed labourly, turning your face towards his.

Jimin peered down at you resting against him, biting back a grin. “Of course, there’s always a next time with flirts like us.”

[magniloquent-raven]

soulmate au part 3!!!!

(read part 1 and part 2 here)

it takes three weeks for anything to happen.

they see each other at school, exchange glances in class, brush past each other in the hallways, fingers grazing as their shoulders bump, incidental touches that wouldn’t draw attention but still leave billy tingling and giddy and embarrassed at himself but…

he’s still getting used to having a soulmate. a real, tangible person he can reach out and touch.

and maybe he’d get used to it faster if he could touch him more, but life keeps conspiring against them. they can’t seem to get a second alone. when it isn’t steve’s kids are crawling all over him 24/7 it’s neil breathing down billy’s neck because he ran out on one fucking class.

well, and then had to lie to neil about why, which was probably what put neil on high alert, but still.

three goddamn weeks.

and neither of them have been patient about it. steve keeps writing billy notes. in the middle of class scrawling things like you have nice eyes and i wanna spend time with you and billy can fucking feel how smug steve gets about making him blush. it’s all he can do not to make a scene in front of half their peers. sometimes he’s not sure if he’d punch steve for being an asshole or kiss him for being sweet.

or both. he can do both.

but mostly he wants time, and somewhere to just...be. with steve.

and he gets that, three weeks after their conversation in the parking lot. steve’s parents will be out of town, and his kids have some stupid game night planned. max keeps asking to go but pretending she isn’t, badly feigning disinterest, and best of all, neil and susan are planning a weekend trip to visit susan’s bedridden aunt a few hours away.

billy is determined to take full advantage of those thirty-six hours. neither of them will acknowledge it directly, but he knows max will tell neil he was home all weekend if she has to. he has no reason to be nervous about being caught, or anything else. it’ll be fine.

it’ll be fine.

he tells himself that over and over but it doesn’t stop him from checking every corner of the house in case neil’s hiding behind a door somewhere before he can even think about getting ready to leave.

he checks again after he’s showered and dressed.

thankfully max is already gone, so she’s not there to see him pacing around like a neurotic rat in a maze.

it almost worse that he isn’t just anxious, he’s excited. and it’s making him twitchy.

there’s no plan. they aren’t going on a date or anything. he’s just...going to steve’s house. steve’s empty house. he’s going to be alone with his soulmate. the list of reasons why that scares him is endless.

and he’s not sure if he’s more terrified of the possibility that steve won’t ask about the makeup thing or the possibility that he will.

knocking on the harringtons’ front door is. an experience. it shouldn’t be. it’s just a fucking door. but billy’s palms are sweating and suddenly he has no idea what he’s even going to say, and he keeps glancing over his shoulder even though he doesn’t really know what he’s looking for, and it feels like he’s been standing on the porch for a fucking eternity but—

his worries don’t exactly melt away when steve opens the door but there is a warm flutter in his chest that’s...new. and distracting.

and steve smiles at him all sunshine and chocolate, and the second the door closes behind them he grabs billy’s hand, wide-eyed, questioning, watching billy’s reaction.

his palm is just as sweaty as billy’s and it’s gross, but also kind of comforting.

“hello to you too,” billy snickers, and steve visibly relaxes, lacing their fingers together properly.

“hi,” he breathes quietly, his gaze soft, but intense, focused. “waiting sucked, okay. i’ve been wanting to do that forever.” he shakes their joined hands for emphasis.

“...that all you were waiting to do?”

steve’s grin turns sly, and his gaze drops a little. “no.”

billy wants to kiss him. he wants to be kissed. he wants steve’s mouth on him, somewhere, anywhere, right now. it’s a nice mouth. he’s spent a lot of time looking at it, and thinking about it, about the way the steam from the showers turned his lips so, so red, wet and slick and both too close and too far away, wondering what he’d taste like—

but steve turns away, taking all the air in billy’s lungs with him. it’s so jarring a shift that billy actually sways a little before he gets ahold of himself and lets steve tug him by hand and lead him upstairs.

the wallpaper in steve’s room has to be some kind of hate crime, but billy doesn’t have time to dwell on it, because there’s a beige bag sitting conspicuously on top of steve’s neatly made bed. the clear plastic top is zipped shut, dusty with age and spilled powders, but billy can still make out tubes of lipstick and eyeliner pencils through the haze.

he stops in the doorway and stares at it, thoughts at a stand-still.

steve’s still clutching his hand, tighter now, and no longer pulling him along. “i—uh. the bag was my mom’s, i think. found it crumpled up under the sink, so, like. she probably doesn’t even remember it exists. and the stuff in it is...new.”

“...new,” billy echoes faintly.

“yeah. yeah, i—i bought it. had no idea what i was looking for though, so i hope i did alright.”

billy blinks at him.

“was—was that okay? i know maybe isn’t exactly a yes, but i kinda hoped it could be, y’know? it’s—it’s totally cool if it isn’t. if you’re—if you’re not up for it. or…” he trails off awkwardly and grimaces.

billy takes a breath. “i’m up for it,” he assures steve with more confidence than he feels.

and steve absolutely beams at him. “yeah?”

“yeah.”

turns out steve not knowing what he was looking for meant he bought...everything.

as billy pokes through the mess he tries not to feel too apprehensive. or at least tries not to let it show. too much. he chews his thumbnail, picking up an eyeliner pencil with the other hand. it’s good shit, all the products are, with fancy names for colours and designer labels. it’s all leagues better than the drugstore clearance shelf crap he lifted as a kid. which doesn’t make this any less nerve-wracking.

“it’s been a while since i did this, so. don’t expect it to be, fucking, art or anything.”

steve shuffles closer from his spot at the foot of the bed and touches billy’s knee. “the eyeliner earlier this year…?” he gestures vaguely at his own face, eyebrows raised.

“friend of mine did that,” billy mutters.

and then his whole goddamn life came crashing down around him because of it.

his anxiety spikes, and he drops the pencil back into the pile, shoving the bag away. “i can’t fucking do this,” he snaps, and he’s halfway standing already when steve reaches for him, alarmed.

“billy, wait—” the hand on his elbow is soft, gentle, but he still flinches away. steve withdraws, fingers curled, lips parted, shock and hurt at war on his face. “i’m sorry. i—shit, i’m sorry—”

“don’t.” billy shakes his head, pulling away further. his lungs hurt. there isn’t enough air in this room. “just—forget it. this was a mistake.”

he’s through the door and heading down the stairs before he can think about it, before steve can respond. he wouldn’t have heard him anyways, not over the echoes of his father’s voice that follow him no matter how fast he flees.

but he stops just short of leaving. stands on the ugly little mat by the front door and stares down at it, his forehead inches away from resting against the wooden doorjamb.

he doesn’t want to leave.

he doesn’t want to go anywhere but back upstairs.

and...he kind of hates it. he has no reason to want that. he barely fucking knows steve, and he certainly doesn’t owe him anything. not a look at his authentic self or even a fucking apology. nothing.

so why does he want to give him all of that and more.

why.

it’s fucking terrifying and ridiculous and confusing and…

“billy?” steve calls out tentatively, far enough away that billy doesn’t startle. he’s making his way down the stairs.

if he’s gonna run, it’s now or never.

now…

or…

he turns around, and leans back, his shoulder thudding heavily as he hits the wall. his eyes itch, and rubbing them doesn’t help.

“billy…” steve’s right in front of him now, hovering just shy of being close, worry etched into every line of his face. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have pushed, i’m sorry—”

“not your fault,” billy mumbles, muffled against his palm. “stop apologizing, harrington.”

steve sucks his bottom lip between his teeth. “i...uh.”

“you were gonna do it again weren’t you.”

“...no.”

billy snorts quietly, head falling against the cold wallpaper at his back. “fuck,” he exhales, hand dropping to his shoulder. “look, this is...threatening to be the best fucking thing that ever happened to me, and good things don’t just—it never lasts. it always blows up in my face, and you should know that before you get caught up in it too.”

there’s an awful, drawn-out pause while steve purses his lips and tilts his head and looks billy up and down, his gaze gentle despite the scrutiny.

“i want to touch you,” steve says quietly. he waits for billy’s hesitant nod before he wraps his arms around and tucks his face into the crook of billy’s neck. “i’ve been waiting for you my whole life, hargrove, you’re not scaring me off that easily.”

and...billy always wanted to believe in the romantic notions people wrote about in songs. soulmates being destined for each other. epic, unconditional love. he never had any reason to believe it was real, but he clung to it anyway. despite the part of him that was wary, afraid of putting too much stock in something that might break his heart later on.

so for steve to just outright say it like that…so matter of fact. the reality of the situation smacks him in the face a little.

he puts his hands on steve’s waist, slipping under his shirt to rest against soft bare skin. touching him feels...right. when he lets himself feel, lets himself be here, in the moment. the sweet scent of steve’s hair, the warmth of his breath, the soothing pressure of his fingertips smoothing the wrinkled fabric of billy’s shirt. it all adds up to a feelings that billy can only describe as home.

not home like the place, but home like the warmth of sunlight and sand between his toes, ocean spray on his lips. a feeling he’s always had to chase to capture, but somehow it’s...here. quiet and still, and nothing like he’s used to, but it’s here.

and his touch seems to put steve at ease as well, he practically melts into billy’s embrace, which does strange and addictive things to billy’s heart.

but he can’t just shut his fucking mouth and enjoy the moment.

“bet i could, though. scare you off. i might, some day.”

“billy,” steve sighs, and pulls back enough to look him in the eye. “trust me when i say, you’ll never even make the top ten scariest things i’ve seen.”

and he wants to scoff, or feel insulted, or push the issue, start a fight, but. there’s a hollow look in steve’s eye. it’s not the face of some sheltered rich boy who thinks he’s a big man, no, there’s truth there. billy believes him.

stopping the tide of questions is almost physically painful, but he knows there’s no going down that road today. he’s hiding enough of his own skeletons to be sure they aren’t ready for that yet.

he might just be ready for something else though.

“i wanna try again.”

steve blinks at him, confused for a beat, two, and. “oh!” his lips part around the exclamation, distracting billy for a moment. “the—the makeup? you don’t— you don’t have to.”

“i want to.” he hesitates, and then presses a brief kiss to the tip of steve’s nose, startling a smile out of him. billy grins back. “i want to.”

[spideymarvelws]

A threesome with tom × reader × Harrison when they become roommates PLEASE could you include... spanking? 😸

im sorry if this is so bad sdhvcwdhcvps the beginning is a bit shaky but i finally sat my ass down and wrong something so i hope you enjoy!

Main Masterlist / Add Yourself To My Taglist

Warnings : dom/sub undertones, spanking, mild degrading and humiliation, tom and haz being little teasing shits

Word Count : 1.8k

Roommates With Benefits

Harrison Osterfield x Fem!Reader x Tom Holland

“And that’s pretty much it. Oh! And you could always just put Percy’s bowl and bed next to Tessa’s. I’m sure she won’t mind, very sweet girl,” Tom smiled, pushing the tips of his fingers into the pockets of his jeans as he led you back to the kitchen.

“We’d love another dog in the house! Just be warned if you ever leave, we might not be able to let him go.” Harrison winked, blue eyes shining with the light shining into the kitchen, causing heat to quickly rise to your face.

You chuckled light heartedly, leaning against the kitchen island with your head down, avoiding the intense stairs of the two brits on your body.

Everything happened so quickly. Being kicked out of your apartment after having trouble paying ridiculous bills, seeing the ad during your job at the cafe and immediately calling the number in hopes that the offer for a roommate was still open. It wasn’t usually something you did, especially without any background checks but you were desperate and in that moment, you were ready to endure anything if it meant you would have a roof over your head. 

What you didn’t expect was a cute british voice answering the phone who was very cooperative and patient, answering all the questions you had. You called him everyday after that, using the excuse of asking more questions but ultimately you both ended up talking about anything and everything. It was an immediate connection that only intensified when you met him the next week in real life after your shift. Shaggy brown hair, soft brown eyes and a figure that made your mouth water, you didn’t expect such a sweet human to take on the looks of a model.

But he didn’t come alone, next to him was a taller but equally attractive blond brit, with clear blue eyes and a smile that made your legs weak. You were surprised how composed you kept yourself while talking to them and with a firm handshake and exchange of phone numbers, a beautiful friendship between the two was born.

At least, that’s what you tried to keep it as. Both men were naturally flirtatious, constantly complimenting you then pointing out how flustered you got like it was some inside joke. When you would meet up with them after shifts, sometimes one of them would take your hand while the other stayed attached to you to the hip, along with a lot of subtle touches that left goose bumps in their wake.

It came to the point where your coworkers gave you side eyes, dancing around the question of asking if you were dating anyone which only made you more flustered.

After a month of spending time with them, the week before your lease ended, they invited you to their flat to show you around, not so directly confirming that they wanted you as their third roommate.  

However, as you entered the house, tension started to build in the air, tension that you only noticed apparently since Tom and Harrison went on with the tour like everything they did was normal. Constant innuendoes, especially when they showed you where the bedrooms were, stretching their arms in already tight shirts, staying close by your side with small touches to your back and arm.

It kept you flustered, while your purpose being there was to find a place to stay, you couldn’t deny that the two brits were attractive, irritatingly so. After the month of getting to know them, you developed a pretty obvious crush on the two men but you were too shy to say anything, too many negative consequences filling your head.

You were happy to maintain a friendship, even if that meant keeping the constant heat on your skin in their presence.

“How do you know if Tessa’s any safer? I might just take her with me.” you teased, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

“Oh really?” Tom raised a brow, walking closer to you behind the kitchen counter, “I feel hurt that you’re already thinking of leaving.” he leaned on his left elbow with his ankles crossed over the other, licking his lips as he looked you up and down.

“To- to be fair... Haz was the first to suggest it.” you stuttered briefly, coughing to hide how nervous you became.

“Yeah, cut her some slack Tom.” the blond snickered, walking up to you, standing on the other side, arms crossed and muscles bulging, “Don’t want to scare her off too soon now do we?”

“Oh I don’t think we’re scaring her off Haz.” Tom raised his hand, taking your jaw between your fingers and turning your head to face him, “Are we scaring you love?”

You shook your head no, eyes wide and body frozen with the contact.

“We’re going to need words darling,” Harrison said into your ear, his breath heavy on the side of your head, his hand landing possessively on the base of your neck, “Communication is very important for us in a roommate.”

“Is it?” you squeaked, trying to process being suddenly sandwiched between the two men. They’ve never been this forward, thoughts running through your head that made you squeeze your thighs together in hopes of some relief.

Tom hummed, leaning up with his face right in front of yours, “So I’ll ask again... are you scared of us Y/n?” your name fell off his tongue like honey, sending a pang of pleasure down your stomach to your heat. You wanted nothing more than to hear it over and over again.

“N-no.” the pitch of your voice was high, enough to make you laugh if it wasn’t for the men so close to your body.

“Then why are you so tense, angel?” Harrison’s hand moved down your neck, trailing along your spine and staying in the curve of your back, right above your ass, “Anything we could do to help?”

“I could think of one thing!” Tom hummed, leaning in closer, brushing his lips along yours, “That is, if our lady allows it.”

“Only if you want to be our girl.” Harrison added, leaning down to kiss the side of your neck, “Just say the word and this never happened.”

“No!” maybe it was the sudden closeness, their hands on your body or the pet names that flowed so naturally off their tongue. Or maybe it was the build up over the past months, the fantasies than ran threw your head of this exact moment that all lead you to whimper-

“yes... please.”

...

“Ah- fuck.” Harrison groaned from behind you, his rough hands gripping your waist tighter as he pounded into you from behind, “God she feels so good around me... tightest cunt I’ve ever fucked.”

“Wait till you feel her mouth mate,” Tom grunted, tightening his hands around your head. He looked down at your face, tears falling from your eyes, spit drooling from your mouth around his hard cock, some of it falling to the sheets beneath you. Out of his years of acting and traveling, he’d never thought he’d see such a beautiful sight.

“Oh I’m planning on it,” the blond responded, moving his hips impossibly faster, fingers digging into your waist, adding to the marks all over your body, “Not tonight though, don’t think the slut could think properly after this.”

Tom laughed at his friend’s words, continuing to bob your head on his cock, alternating between slow, calculated movements and a rough, punishing pace.

The humiliation only made you more wet and desperate for relief. You were right on the edge, have been since the night’s activities began. But the men wouldn’t allow it, constantly mocking and degrading you if the thought ever crossed your mind, threatening to not touch you for the rest of the week if you came without permission.

The fact that they planned to continue after this couldn’t even cross your head, mind too far broken down into just a toy for their use, begging and mewling for anything they gave you. 

A harsh spank landed on your bum making a squeak erupt from your throat, muffled by Tom’s length. Harrison scoffed at your reaction, landing blow after blow, his hips losing rhythm as he neared his high.

“I swear she just gets wetter and wetter,” Harrison groaned, punctuating the last three words with a slap to your skin, “So fucking perfect around me I-” he groaned loudly, bending over slightly to reach deeper inside you, hitting a different angle that made you scream.

Tom was quick to pull you off his cock, one hand wrapped tightly around your hair, keeping your head up while the other moved quickly up his shaft. jerking himself off.

“Fuck, you look so pretty princess,” Tom moaned, “Ready to cum?”

You nodded enthusiastically, smiling wide as you kept your mouth open. The brunette grabbed your jaw, tilting your head up and spitting directly in your mouth, slapping the side of your face for you to swallow.

“Fucking beg for it then.” 

But before you could respond, you felt pressure directly on your clit, Harrison’s cold thumb moving circles around the nub, pushing you further and further to your orgasm. 

“Please! Please let me cum! Please Tommy!” 

But the brit only laughed, “I’m not the one you should be begging too love,” 

Tom loosened his grip of your hair only for Harrison to take over, pulling your back to his sweaty chest.

“Go ahead angel, beg so you could cum all over my cock,”

“Please... please Harrison,” you could feel the energy slowly fading from your body but your will to get off was just as strong, “Please let me cum,”

“Go ahead angel,” Haz grunted in your ear, “Fuck I’m gonna cum with you, bury my cock deep in your pussy, stuff you full,”

Without a second to lose, you let yourself go, finally  getting that release you’ve been craving for that entire night. The feeling of the blonds cum filling you up made it more intense, along with his thumb still locked in place on your clit. It was an overload of pleasure, black spots clouding your vision but you still hyper aware of everything going on.

“Open your mouth pretty girl,” you heard echo in the back of your head. Without fight, your jaw slacked open, the taste of Tom’s seed hitting your lips, spreading across your mouth.

You were in pure ecstasy. 

It took you a while to come back after such an intense moment, tangled in Tom’s arms while Harrison worked on cleaning your body, both looking down at you with admiration and awe.

“What do you think Haz? She good enough to live here?” Tom mumbled, softly petting your hair as you nudge your cheek against his chest, bathing in the attention.

The blond snickered from behind you, crawling over your body and leaning down to place a sweet kiss on your shoulder, “She could live with us for the rest of her life after that mate,” you raised your head slightly at his words, eyes wide and blown. He gently took your chin between his fingers, pressing a kiss to your puffy lips.

“Free of fucking charge.”

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

[uwuwriting]

Hurting their best friend/crush w/ Oikawa and Terushima

Request: Oikawa and Terushima the playboy squad y’know, hurting their female best friend and manager with whom they have been in love with for the longest time but are too afraid to make a move. It ends in fluff of course but like maybe their friends are like you messed up man and its a really big fight. thank you. - anonymous 

Playboy squad indeed. I feel like all three of them but mostly Oikawa got their hearts obliterated and that’s why they have adopted that fuckboy persona. These boys just need some real love even though one of them is a rat. Love ya.💖💖💖

rules 

masterlist

warnings: angst to fluff, some cursing

Oikawa Tooru

-It had  been a hard week. 

-Actually a hard year. 

-Oikawa was focused almost solely on volleyball, over doing it many times while you were studying like a maniac.

-Being their manager helped you loosen up.

-Plus it gave you the chance to be with your friend group.

-You had noticed how Oikawa seemed to brush off many of your attempts to hang out, sometimes giving you an excuse to why he couldn’t make while other times ditching you. 

-He hadn’t ditched you many times but it still hurt.

-Knowing that your best friend forgot almost completely of your existence. 

-You had drifted apart the last few months and the only one who noticed apart from you was Iwaizumi. 

-He had seen how he wouldn’t find Oikawa beside you when he came to your lunch table or how you weren’t Oikawa’s first call anymore after a game. 

-It bothered him too. 

-Seeing his two best friends separate like that.

-And Iwa knew you tried to prevent it, he gave you advice on the matter as well.

 -But Oikawa seemed oblivious to the gap that was forming and kept on ignoring you, more and more as time went on. 

-The final straw came when he wouldn’t answer your calls one Saturday evening. 

-It was one of those rare occasions when he had agreed to spend some one on one time with you and you were really excited. 

-You hadn’t seen your best friend for weeks, apart from some small conversations during practice.

-You had been waiting for an hour, the movie you had picked already had started and was now in the second act. 

-If this had happened a few months ago you would have let it slide, made a comment in your group chat and leave it at that but not this time. 

-He had ditched you one too many times and you were sick of it. 

-Making your way to the gym, you were taken aback by the lack of sound coming from inside. 

-You expected to be met with the sound of balls slamming on the opposite wall but nothing, the slamming was replaced by female giggles and a really familiar voice.

-Opening the door slightly you found your best friend being pinned to the court’s floor by one of his fans, her giggles bouncing off the walls as she kissed him. 

-Without a word you left, letting the door slam shut behind you as you walked out of school grounds and straight home. 

-It hurt like hell and you weren’t able to get that image of him pinned to the floor out of your head for the rest of the weekend. 

-He had texted you apologizing for missing your movie night, saying he was practicing late and he got carried away. 

-You answered with a simple okay and didn’t speak to him after that.

-You kept your distance at school, simultaneously avoiding Iwa who knew that Oikawa had done something.

-Volleyball practice was your neutral ground, the only place where you chatted with everyone but still gave him small curt answers. 

-Iwa had had enough of all this so he cornered Oikawa after practice as they were walking home alone, without your normal bubbly presence with them. 

“What the hell did you do to Y/N, Shittykawa?”

“What do you mean? I’m completely innocent.”

“She has been avoiding you like the plague all week and you haven’t even noticed? What the hell happened last Saturday?”

“I didn’t see her...”

“You missed it? Again?”

“It wasn’t my fault! Yui-chan found me at the gym and she kinda jumped on me.”

“You know what’s funny Oikawa? The fact that you claim you love her.”

-That’s why he’s now trying to coax you to open your bedroom door.

- “I’m studying Oikawa leave me alone.”

-His last name leaving your lips hurt, a lot. 

-He had always been Tooru to you or even Shittykawa. 

- “Y/N please, I’m sorry for Saturday I’ll make it up to you!”

-You opened that door then, rage burning in your eyes as you met Oikawa’s pleading face.

 - “Now you care? You have some fucking nerve coming here and giving me some half-assed apology after you ditched me for some chick last Saturday. I don’t need your apologies as much as you don’t need me. So do me the favor and get out of my house.”

-Tooru just stared at you, your words twisting the dagger in his heart. 

-He messed up, he messed up big time. 

- “You saw me with Yui...”

-You were fighting back tears as you looked at him, the sight of your underclassman hovering over him flashing behind your eyelids as you closed your eyes. 

- “Y/N she means nothing I swear, it was nothing, she came at me I-”

- “Why w-would I care what she meant? W-why would I-I care with w-who you make out with?”

- “I care what you think of me!”

-You were full on crying at this point, Tooru shedding his own tears as his fears started clawing their way up his throat. 

-He was losing you.

- “I care what you think of me because I love you. I care what image I create in your pretty mind because I hope that maybe at some point you will look at me in a different light. What I did last Saturday was fucked up and there are no excuses but I’m sorry, I truly am. Please Y/N. I can’t- I can’t lose you. Please....” 

-You wanted to hold onto your anger longer, wanted to truly stay mad at him for more because at the end of the day he deserved it but you couldn’t. 

-You launched yourself into his arms, burying your face in his chest as your sobs became louder. 

-He held you there until your tears ran dry, his arms tight around you as if he was afraid you would slip through his fingers at any moment. 

Terushima Yuuji

-You knew him from middle school. 

-Before the piercings. 

-Before the dyed hair. 

-Before the douchebag attitude. 

-And before the ocean of girls coming and going in his life. 

-It affected your friendship but you managed to survive it. 

-Some girls were just too crazy and possessive, harassing you to leave him alone and that he was theirs.

-Terushima always gave them a glare and a cold “we’re done” before proceeding to hang out with you non stop for a week straight. 

-It was your bro code that no matter what, a relationship would not change who you were to each other. 

-That no one would get in between your friendship. 

-Lucky for you, your love for Yuuji pushed away any potential boyfriends that came waltzing into your life. 

-You are attractive, smart and cute plus you’re funny so many boys tried to go out with you, but you being in love with your best friend prevented you from reciprocating their feelings. 

-Yuuji however changed girlfriends every two days and you were there to witness everything. 

-He came barging in your room every Tuesday and Friday to talk about the new girl that threw herself at him or about the hook up he had during the weekend.

-It hurt you seeing him with others but his short relationships gave you hope that he hadn’t fallen in love yet and that you still had a chance. 

-Then she came. 

-She was a year younger than the two of you and she was the only one that lasted for longer than a week. 

-She knew you two were close and whenever you tagged along with them she was seething with anger. 

-She became territorial to the point that Yuuji should tell her to calm down.

-But he wouldn’t and that let to multiple fights and in the end you two stopped talking to each other. 

-The last straw was during one of his games. 

-You are the manager so you are down at the court with them. 

-Terushima hit the ground really hard after he tried to save the ball and he hurt his shoulder.

 -He was escorted to the bench where you put some ice on his slightly swollen shoulder and wiped away some sweat from his forehead.

-He may have acted like a douche to you but he was still your best friend and you loved him so you couldn’t be cold to him for too long.  

-His girl lost her shit. 

-After the game she started yelling at you and calling you a ‘home-wrecker’ and ‘man-stealer’ along with some really offensive stuff. 

-You were putting her in her place when Yuuji came out and saw the whole scene. 

-She immediately ran to him spewing nonsense and lies about how you came at her for no reason. 

-The face of pure shock and disbelief on your face was enough for Terushima to understand that she was lying. 

-All those other times his ‘girl’ said or acted like a bitch to you came crashing down he was hit by a train of realization. 

-He suddenly was aware of your fight and the possibility of losing you, so he finally acted. 

- “I don’t know what happened but don’t talk about Y/N like that.” 

-She looked so offended for a second before snapping....literally. 

- “You defend her over me? Your girlfriend? She is nothing but a sad little girl who wants to steal you away from me! And you’re encouraging her! She’ll start believing she has a chance with you!!!”

-He just let out a growl and pushed past her wrapping an arm around your waist and bringing you into a hug. 

- “Maybe she does.”

-The both of you left the gym and went to blow off some steam at the water fountains.

-After your exchanged apologies you started to mess around throwing playful jabs.

- “Did you mean it? What you said to her.”

- “You mean about us? If you want it to be true than yeah if you don’t then just ignore it.”

-You leaped into his arms squeezing the life out of him as your voice came out in a muffled jumble of words “I want it to be true.”

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez-mangetsu​ @bemorefiction​

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

You said to put a rebuke prompt in here sO what about a sickfic? Luke is sick and Reggie and Bobby try to take care of him but then Reggie gets sick and all that's left is a grumpy Bobby who is tired of their dumbassery

Sorry this took so long. I hope you like it!! My first try at rebuke, but hopefully not my last ;)

read on ao3 here!

--

The minute Bobby gets to school, he knows today’s going to be kind of a disaster.

His first clue? Luke’s not there yet. He’s not exactly late, and isn’t in any real danger of being so—it’s only 7:30, and the first bell doesn’t ring until 7:55—but if Bobby’s being honest, he can’t remember the last time Luke wasn’t early. Usually, by the time Bobby gets to school, Luke’s already bouncing around the halls somewhere, playing his guitar in the stairwell or pretending to flirt with girls outside the library or trying to break into Bobby’s locker because Bobby refuses to give Luke his combination.

Luke doesn’t like school, but he likes being at home even less. And at least at school, his friends are there.

His friends are there now—two of them at least—but Luke isn’t.

It just doesn’t bode well for things to come, in Bobby’s opinion.

“Hey,” Reggie says when he meets Bobby at his locker, blindly bumping Bobby’s fist as he glances up and down the hallway. “Luke’s not here yet?”

“Guess not.” Bobby shuts his locker and shoulders his backpack. “Alex still home sick?”

“Think so,” Reggie confirms with a nod. “He said on the phone last night he was gonna try to be back today for a Spanish test, but I don’t know, he sounded pretty rough.”

Bobby grimaces. “Better he stay home and not infect the rest of us. He can always retake a Spanish test.”

“Yeah, but you know Alex.” Reggie shrugs. “If he’s not back, can I come over tonight? Since we won’t rehearse, I mean, just—just to hang out?”

A smile pulls at Bobby’s lips as his stomach does a weird, not unpleasant, flip flop. “Yeah, man, of course you can. Luke too?”

Reggie grins. “Of course!”

Bobby nods and turns back to his locker, fiddling pointlessly with the lock so that Reggie won’t see him blushing.

It’s not that he doesn’t like Alex—he does, a lot—he just… likes Alex as a friend. And he likes Reggie… and Luke… more than that… or differently… or something.

It’s stupid, and hell if Bobby knows how to put the damn thing into words, but… he figures the more time he gets to spend with just Luke and Reggie, the better. Even if it means taking advantage of the few times Alex isn’t available to make plans.

For the next twenty minutes or so, Reggie and Bobby hang around his locker, talking about their gig coming up in a couple weeks and the math homework Bobby didn’t do and whether it’s likely for Bobby’s finicky TV to be working well enough for them to play Super Mario Bros. after school today.

At 7:52, just when they’re starting to consider giving up and going to class, Luke appears at his own locker, about halfway down the hall.

“Hey, there you are!” Reggie calls, bouncing over to him. “We thought you weren’t gonna show up today.”

Bobby follows, and the closer he gets to Luke, the more dread bubbles up in his stomach. Luke slumps against his locker, not even reacting to Reggie’s words. He looks pale and flushed at the same time, his nose and cheeks an alarming shade of cherry, and his hands tremble slightly as he tries to put his locker combination in.

Bobby stops short a good ten feet away as the pieces fall into place in his head, and before he can think of the right thing to say, what comes out is, “You look like shit.”

Luke’s response is a little delayed. When he does raise his eyes to Bobby, they’re glassy and dull, and his self-deprecating laugh and mumbled little, “Thanks, Bobs, that’s real nice,” come out so painfully hoarse that Bobby swears he feels his own throat sting in sympathy.

He takes another step back. Luke doesn’t just look terrible; he looks contagious.

Reggie, it seems, has no such reservations. He sidles right up to Luke and slings an arm around his shoulders; Luke immediately leans back into Reggie’s hold, his expression crumpling with relief like maybe he was having trouble holding up his weight on his own.

“Aw, Luke,” Reggie coos, rubbing Luke’s arm. “Did you catch Alex’s cold?”

“No,” Luke grumbles petulantly, and then contradicts himself by coughing into Reggie’s shoulder (Bobby flinches). “Maybe,” Luke amends. “But it’s Alex’s dumb saliva’s fault.”

Bobby’s stomach flips again. This time, it’s a little unpleasant. When have Luke and Alex been… sharing saliva?

“Well, Luke, bro, you shouldn’t have taken a sip of his drink when you knew he wasn’t feeling well,” Reggie chides, parental but for the most part unconcerned.

Luke pouts. “But he had a milkshake, and I couldn’t afford to get my own, and it seemed like a good idea in the moment, it was yummy!”

Relief surges through Bobby so intensely he almost feels faint with it—so Luke and Alex weren’t kissing. Okay. Good.

Not that he should have any say in what his friends do with their mouths on their own time, he just… he’d like to know about it ahead of time, if at all possible. Maybe be involved himself sometimes, that’d be nice.

Again. Stupid.

“Why are you even here?” Bobby asks, and it comes out harsher than he meant it to; Reggie and Luke both look up at him, frowning. He clears his throat and tries to soften his tone. “I mean. You should’ve stayed home, if you’re sick.”

Luke grimaces, and reluctantly pulls out of Reggie’s grip when the bell rings shrilly above them. “Mom wouldn’t let me,” he says with a wet sniff, yanking his locker open and grabbing a stack of books seemingly at random. “I didn’t have a fever, and I may have been known to fake a cold to get out of stuff once or twice… a month…” He shrugs, and drags a wrist under his nose. “Guess I wasn’t convincing enough this time.”

“This wasn’t convincing?” Bobby’s backed up another few feet, unable to take his eyes off Luke’s dripping nose, which he just wiped with his hand—God, who raised him? How and why in God’s green earth does Bobby ever find him attractive?

“In Mrs. P’s defense,” Reggie says cheerfully, “Luke’s really good at faking.”

Luke slams his locker closed. “Whatever, I’m fine. Let’s just get to class, Bobby. We’ll see you later, Reg.”

He starts, stumbling, down the hallway, toward the history class he and Bobby share. Bobby and Reggie exchange a look behind his back—Reggie’s is concerned, Bobby’s more than a little disgusted.

“Keep an eye on him, will you?” Reggie pleads. “Just until I see you guys at lunch?”

Bobby glances over at Luke, who’s paused a little ways down the hall to have a coughing fit into the crook of his arm—sleeveless, of course. “How close an eye are we talking?”

Reggie’s smile turns tolerant. “Please, Bobby? For me?”

Well, fuck, what is he supposed to say to that? He nods, stammers out a reply, and turns toward his classroom, just in time to see Luke careen forward with a spraying, uncovered sneeze.

Bobby shudders, hefts his backpack a little higher on his shoulder, and tries not to breathe.

“He better not get me sick,” he grumbles to himself, and goes to drag Luke into class.

***

They get about fifteen, twenty minutes in before Bobby starts to think, yeah, no, no way in hell this is gonna work.

Luke is struggling.

First of all, he can barely sit up straight and keep his eyes open, much less pay attention to the lecture, so Bobby highly doubts he’s learning anything. He sniffles more than breathes, coughs more than talks, and gets up out of his seat to get a tissue from the front of the room so often that their teacher Mrs. Carroll eventually just nods for him to take the whole box back to his desk.

Every time he sneezes, Bobby cringes and scoots his desk a few more inches away. Every time he coughs, Bobby sinks lower in his chair, trying to surreptitiously pull the collar of his hoodie over his mouth. Every time he blows his nose, and just leaves the dirty tissues sitting in a gross little pile on his desk, Bobby wonders how the fuck they’re even friends.

When the bell rings, Luke slumps back in his chair and coughs into a fresh wad of tissues for a full minute and a half, while their classmates file out of the room around them, giving Luke grossed-out looks as they pass.

Bobby doesn’t even have it in him to be embarrassed on Luke’s behalf, considering they’re totally justified in their disgust. Mrs. Carroll catches his eye from her desk at the front of the classroom, and before she can so much as mouth, Maybe you should take him to the nurse, Bobby nods and holds up a finger as if to say, No, yeah, I’m on it.

“Hey,” he says, kicking the leg of Luke’s chair. “Pack up your stuff, sicky, you’re going home.”

Luke frowns at him, tissues still held over his face, muffling his already stuffy protest. “What? No, I’m—”

“Shut up,” Bobby cuts him off. “I don’t care if you claim you’re fine, I don’t care if your mom will be pissed, you look and sound like shit, I’m taking you back to my place until someone can pick you up. No arguments, you hear me?”

Luke just looks at him for a moment, and Bobby worries he’s going to fight back again, but then something shifts in his expression, and he just looks so tired all of a sudden. “Yeah,” he croaks. “Yeah, okay, I—I think that’s probably a good idea.”

Bobby lets out a breath. “Good. Me too.”

It takes longer than it should to get Luke out of his seat and to the door, even after Bobby takes his books from him so that all Luke has to carry is his box of tissues. Mrs. Carroll writes them both hall passes, and doesn’t fight Bobby when he says he probably won’t be back for her government class in the afternoon.

They walk slowly down the school hallway, Luke leaning heavily into Bobby’s side so he doesn’t stumble. Bobby almost manages not to think about the germs Luke is almost definitely passing to him, because his own health doesn’t matter as much as Luke’s right now. Bobby’s worry for him is hotter, more present, in his chest than any anxiety or germaphobia.

And that worry only grows when they get to the nurse’s office and find Reggie sitting on a plastic-covered bed waiting for them.

“There you guys are!” he says cheerfully, grinning and swinging his legs like a kid. “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d last the whole period.”

“The hell are you doing here?” Bobby asks as he guides Luke into a chair.

“Felt like I was gonna throw up,” Reggie explains, then gives Bobby an exaggerated wink he doesn’t understand.

“You did? Are you okay?”

Reggie’s brows knit together. “No—Bobby, that’s just what I told Miss Ellison so I could get out of English class. I wanted to meet you guys down here so I could go with you when you leave.”

Bobby frowns. There’s a lot going on today, he doesn’t have a whole lot of brainpower to spend on Reggie’s riddles. And he’s definitely missing something here.

Apparently, Luke is just as confused. “Wait,” he croaks, sniffling and slumped over in his chair. “You’re sick, too, Reg?”

Reggie rolls his eyes. “No, Luke, not really. I just pretended so that I could go home with you guys. You are going home, right?”

“Yeah, he barely lasted one class, he’s not staying the whole day,” Bobby says, ignoring the petulant glare Luke shoots him.

“Then I’m going with you.” Reggie glances nervously between them. “Unless… you don’t want me to?”

“No,” Luke says quickly. “No, I want both of you. Please.”

Reggie grins. Bobby’s stomach flips.

“Fine, I guess we’re all sick, then,” he grumbles, ducking his head to hide his blush, and points to Luke and Reggie each in turn. “Stay there, I’ll be right back.”

It’s unfairly easy for Bobby to convince the nurse to let him drive Luke and Reggie home, since they’re both “so sick” (he doesn’t even have to pretend to be sick himself. The nurse takes one look at Luke and agrees to let Bobby go with him for no reason, if only to get his germ-ridden friend off school property).

It’s a little less easy to call Emily Patterson at work and explain to her that he’s Luke’s friend, no, ma’am, he’s really sick, I don’t mind taking him back to my house until you get off work, yes, ma’am, I’ll make sure he gets all his homework, etc, etc, etc.

Reggie’s parents don’t even pick up. Bobby has a fake conversation with “Reggie’s dad” just so he can tell the nurse with some level of confidence that Reggie’s been given permission to go home with him, too. He’s not sure she believes him. He doesn’t think she cares.

“You’re gonna get sick,” Bobby says when he returns to find Luke lying on the bed with his eyes closed, head in Reggie’s lap, sniffling into Reggie’s pant leg while Reggie strokes his hair back out of his face.

“I think he’s got a fever now,” he says, which is not at all a response to what Bobby said. “Are we ready to go?”

Bobby gives a resigned sigh. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.”

***

As Luke gets worse, he also gets clingier. Which, really, Bobby should’ve expected. It’s one thing in the car, where Bobby can roll the windows down and focus on driving while Luke stretches out all over Reggie in the backseat, coughing and sniffling and ignoring Bobby whenever he reminds him to cover his damn mouth.

Once they get back to his house, though, Bobby washes his hands about fifteen times in a row, then heads into the studio with the intention of recommending that Reggie do the same, only to find Reggie and Luke curled up on the pull-out couch together, fast asleep.

For a minute or two, Bobby just stands there, watching them. Both of them idiots, one of them disgusting, and yet… god, he loves both of them so much. How fucking stupid is that?

Luke’s gonna get Reggie sick, if he hasn’t already; that’s just an inevitability at this point. And then one or both of them is going to get Bobby sick, and it’s going to suck, because colds always hit Bobby super hard for no good reason, which is why he tries so hard to avoid catching them.

But a few days of misery is worth it, he guesses, if he can spend today taking Luke’s temperature and rubbing his back and forcing Vitamin C on both him and Reggie until they’re both sick of him.

And at least, whatever happens, he can blame this whole thing on Alex.

--

Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @whenweremarried @sunsethimb0s @pink-flame @penguin0613 @fighttoshine @sunsetcurvecuddles @teenagedirtbag-dot-jpeg @brightattheorpheum @queenmolina @jandthephantoms @lexilucacia @sapphossidechick @acnhaddict @shrimp-colours @sunset-bobby @lenacarstairspotterstewart @conversationaltreestump @burntchromas @molinapattersons @julieandthequeers @joyandthephantoms @it-tastes-like-lizard @jatpfs

[kevindayscrown]

The one where Kevin Day falls in love with an ice hockey player.

Extra Content Part 1

Anything included in this head canon takes place the semester after the Foxes won the championship against the Ravens.

Head over to the directory to find the main parts.

Words in italics are spoken in Mandarin by the characters.

This is sort of extra content, it’s not a main part and no, I promise it won’t be as bad as Nora’s extra content is.

Eric liked to believe he was a pretty chill guy. There were very few things that could really affect him emotionally, he rarely got angry, and he raised his voice even less.

But somehow, Kevin Day had the ability to turn it all upside down.

He could remember the first time they’d met very vividly. Back then, he’d thought that Kevin was nothing more than a stuck-up celebrity, who apparently didn’t have time for those he considered inferior.

However, Eric found that he enjoyed riling Kevin up.

And secretly, he also enjoyed when Kevin himself wouldn’t go down without a fight.

When they started spending more time together, Eric couldn’t help but want to find out more about him. It was clear there was a lot more behind that cold façade.

From the yakuza story, the pretend dating, that kiss in the attic and eventually, the ‘break up’, Eric was not sure what to think anymore.

He knew he felt something for Kevin.

Correction.

He knew he very much wanted to take the ‘pretending’ out of the ‘dating’.

Despite everything, Kevin didn’t seem to have the same idea. Eric knew he’d been through a lot, but there was only so much he could tolerate. Perhaps when the two of them would eventually cool down, they’d be able to at least stay friends.

“Perhaps this was a waste of our time after all.”

That’s what he’d said before rushing out of the restroom, leaving the striker behind. He’d figured that both of them needed space and time to think things through.

Neil Josten hadn’t been very willing to give Eric his space, though.

The short red head followed Eric outside, saying nothing at first. Eventually, Eric stopped and turned to look at him.

“Is there a particular reason you followed me outside?”

Neil shrugged and then pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pockets. He held it out to Eric first, who shook his head, before taking one from inside and lighting it up.

“Let me guess-,” he started and took a drag, letting the smoke out before he spoke again, “- Kevin is being an idiot again.”

Eric ran his fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, not sure how to respond to that. Kevin hadn’t been an idiot. He’d just been incredibly blind and stubborn.

“You’ll get used to it. He’s like that. It takes him some time,” Neil said and blew out more smoke.

Eric didn’t at all doubt that. It was clear Kevin’s mind worked in patterns that were hard to break. But was Eric willing to sacrifice his own sanity in trying to help Kevin?

“I figured. I’m not sure if I’m the one suitable to be there for him.”

Neil’s snort caused some smoke to blow out through his nose.

“I’ve never seen Kevin like that. Lying to Andrew and skipping Exy practice to go to the rink at night with you? Even going there willingly in the first place? Trust me, whatever it is you’re doing is working wonders already.”

Eric wasn’t so sure about that, since he had just left Kevin alone in a restroom after he had literally returned Kevin’s words against him, telling him he’d been a waste of time.

“What do I do?” Eric asked, almost desperately. He didn’t want to mess this up. He definitely did not want to become another reason why Kevin was cold and closed off.

“Give it some time. We’ll handle it. I’m sure you’ve seen what the foxes can do if they get too stubborn.”

Oh, Eric had. The Exy team of the Palmetto State Foxes had risen from the bottom of the ranks and won the championship, in an impressive way to say the least.

“Fine.” Eric wasn’t sure if he liked how this gave him hope, but he decided to hold onto it regardless. He was already too deep into this to be able to back out. He didn’t want to give up on Kevin, but he couldn’t be the only one doing most of the work.

“Where are you planning on going? Not the hotel I suppose,” Neil said and then threw the cigarette down, stepping on it.

The last thing Eric wanted was to spend a whole awkward night sharing the same bed with Kevin. In any other case, it might have been something to look forward to, seeing how he had imagined that scenario many times. But not like that. Not with the two of them barely exchanging any words.

“No. I’m leaving. Figured I should give us both some space. A lot has happened these past months. Maybe the winter break is all we need,” he said with a shrug and then shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ll head back to my parents’ place. Was already planning on it. I’ll just show up earlier.”

Eric wanted to give Kevin time and space, wanted to believe Neil. He generally wasn’t the pessimistic kind of person so it was easy for him to cling on the hope that Kevin and him could have something more. Something real.

Going home, he thought, would help him forget and clear his head for a couple of weeks.

Except, it didn’t.

His childhood best friend, Riley Pierce, wasn’t exactly keen on letting Eric forget about Kevin. Mostly because Riley had been obsessed with Kevin growing up. They weren’t a sports person, but they were an Exy fanatic.

And there was no chance they would let Eric forget that he’d started dating national champion Kevin Day without telling them anything.

Two days prior to leaving his home town in Atlanta for the start of the new semester, Riley still wouldn’t drop the subject.

“I can’t believe you went on dates with him. What is he like? I mean, I know you hate him, but really, you went on dates with Kevin Day.”

They were gliding across the ice of their neighborhood rink, a regular hang out spot for the two of them. Riley’s smaller frame and hate for physical violence led them down the path of figure skating instead of playing ice hockey with Eric.

“It was fine,” Eric mumbled, though his mind went straight to the nights spend in the attic. “He is-,” he stopped, knowing he couldn’t start talking about Kevin without Riley figuring out the truth. He had tried to avoid it throughout the holidays, but now it was just the two of them and Eric had no idea how to change the subject.

“Wait-,”

Too late.

Riley halted and made Eric do the same, watching him and studying him the way no one else could. Growing up next to each other was the cause for that.

“You actually like him. It wasn’t just fake dating for you, was it?”

Eric sighed and eventually gave in, nodding slowly. “He is... not used to this. We had a fall out and I figured out that giving him some time might help clear things out.”

Riley’s expression softened. They smiled and then crushed Eric in a hug that almost had them both tripping over the ice.

“If anyone can figure it out, it’s you. Even if sometimes you are a bit thick in the head. I’m telling you; ice hockey isn’t good for you.”

That had Eric laughing, lifting his spirits a bit. Riley pulled back and patted his shoulder.

“Look, Kevin Day or not, at the end of the day, you should do what makes you happy. If you want to be with him and think it’s going to work out, I know you can do it. If not then, well, you have my shoulder to cry on. Or you can tell Kevin I’m very much available.”

They grinned and Eric rolled his eyes but smiled fondly.

“Thanks, Riley.”

Eric knew he had his family, his team and his best friend whom he could count on. He couldn’t help, however, to worry about Kevin and how he spent the winter break. Sure, he had his team, he had people surrounding him, but was he still punishing himself?

Riley eventually suggested they go back for dinner at Eric’s place. They gathered their stuff after they got off the rink and then started heading back.

“Mom?” Eric called as they walked inside the house.

“Eric?” His mother asked as she looked at them from the living room, immediately walking over to them to welcome them. “You are back! Good. Someone very special is here to see you.”

The smile on her face had something mischievous about it that instantly got Eric’s attention.

Eric heard Riley squeal even before he spotted Kevin Day, sitting on the couch, watching him with bright emerald eyes.

[binniesthighs]

two tails | reader x minho |

Three 

Pairing: self insert, female reader x lee minho 

Genre: strangers to lovers, neighbors to lovers, fluff 

Tags: neighbors au, comfort fic, catowner!minho, catowner!reader, author!reader, bestfriend!seungmin, floristnpunk!jisung, gradstudent!jeongin, agedup!skz, slow burn, plot driven, gradual romance, lil bit of angst, strained parental relationship, explicit language, mentions of food and alcohol, mentions of previous kinda sad relationships 

Word count: 5.4k (y e e h a w) 

Tagging: @lauraneuuh​

Chapters 

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zeal noun 

: eagerness and ardent interest in the pursuit of something: fervor 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Seungmin never liked your cooking, or at least, he’d often mumble this into his spoon while beginning his second serving. He was probably just being nice, or respectful. Your best friend of four years had never been less. 

Aside from the fact the he had a 70 pound golden retriever, never had you once seen a strand of that golden hair cling to the cloth of his winter coats. In the autumn, he would drive you in his hand-me-down ‘91 Mitsubishi to the city where you would tutor the English students just so you wouldn’t have to bear the cold of the subway. In the summers he would toss soju down his throat with you, sitting on the carpet of your living room and turning his head to the side with a hand raised to hide his glass. In the spring, he would remember your birthday--several months before his--and take you to coffee shops and bookstores, then the grocery store (which he knew you hated) and would buy for you the most expensive beef he could find. 

You would cook the meat for the two of you, and he would say that he liked it...even if you had charred it black on the edges. 

Seungmin flicked at the little aluminum tab on his beer can while he watched you murder yet another plate of perfectly fine vegetables on your stovetop. 

“At least it smells nice.” You flipped the circle of white onion. 

“It does.” He returned, nonchalant, flicking the beer tab a little poink. 

“You’re being uncharacteristically quiet. Too tired to complain about those dicks from the marketing team? They put you on a shitty pitch again didn’t they?” 

“Every pitch is a shitty pitch there. God, you wouldn’t believe the kinds of slogans that they make me say sometimes. It’s humiliating.” 

“Hey, you’re the one that took the pay raise over that job at that high school.” 

“Well, you didn’t have rent staring you dead in the face and a dog that’s practically active and sentient enough to be a real child.” He slugged down a sip of his drink. “I’m a single father you know.” 

“As if!” You choked out your laughter. “Since when did you turn into Hyunjin? You were never one for dramatics anyway.” 

“Go get your vegetables, they’ll burn.” He nodded his head to the stove. The thing was, they were already burnt. 

You salvaged what you could of the vegetables then placed them over your rice balls (not intended to be balls in the first place) and the chicken strips which had undoubtedly been seasoned just a little too much. You slid the ceramic bowl in front of him. At least it was steaming. That was a good sign. 

Seungmin nodded a little in thanks, then let out a less than obvious sigh before taking his first bite. 

“Spicy...but good.” 

The way that his breath sounded thin made it convincing enough to you that it wasn’t just “spicy.” 

He scrunched up his face in that adorably puppy-like way that you had long gotten used to. 

“Really. Tell me. It isn’t the pitches. Don’t pretend like I can’t read you.” 

Your best friend squeezed his eyes shut with a rather generous slug of his beer. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Whaaaat?” You whined a little while opening up your own can. “Oh my god. It’s that girl from the art division. She has a boyfriend doesn’t she? Dammit.” 

“No.” Your friend drew the disdain in his eyes up to you from the chicken that had made his nose start to run. He wiped at it quickly. 

“I hope it’s not my mother that’s getting to you. She’s too damn nosy for her own good and twice as cocky as she should be. Don’t listen to her. What did she tell you anyway?” 

Seungmin poked at his food with his fork then twisted a crispy-tipped red pepper. “Have you talked to him again?”

“--Minho?”

You shied at the memory of meeting him on his morning run two days prior. He would go out at nearly 8:00 on the dot every morning, just when the sun started to peek into the dewy pink and blue mornings.

“You should put on a sweater if you’re going to get up this early for those plants of yours. Don’t want you catching a cold.”

“Yes.” You answered your friend. A tiny ache pinged at your chest--and it wasn’t the kind that felt all twisted. “He asked me to watch the meteor shower with him this weekend. I hope I can cook something edible for him.”

Seungmin’s knee bounced, “Aren’t you at least at little suspicious of him?”

“Suspicious? Why would I be?”

“You hardly even know anything about him, or where he came from, what he does for a living--”

“--Now you’re starting to sound like my mother Seung. Relax. Besides, sometimes it doesn’t take much to feel...comfortable around a person. I mean, look at us! Soju nights started like, three weeks after we met. And I do know where he works. He works for a company that makes windows; fancy ones.” 

“Windows?” He cocked a brow. 

“He did say that it was kind of boring...” 

“I just--” Your friend sighed out, resting anxious hands on his knees. Here he was again, being nice and respectful, like always. “--You could get hurt if you’re not careful.” 

“What?”

“I’m saying, don’t get your hopes up.” 

“Geez Seung...” Your voice trailed off with a different pain in your chest. This was the kind that twisted. 

His expression softened, and he lent a hand to your shoulder, lingering, squeezing lightly. “Your mom...she told me to look after you...not like I do that already with you falling all over yourself and burning things...I don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

“Hm. Thanks.” 

“You’re also miserable to deal with when you’re sad. You make me blow my grocery budget with how much frickin’ ice cream and freezer tater tots you force me to get.” 

“You like those tater tots too though.” 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Bomi purred in your lap swaddled into a little ball of white, orange, black and brown. She was napping, or rather, trying to nap with the way that her little cat-shaped eyes blinked slowly. You tried your best to soak every little moment of it up: you knew that with her, it would be fleeting. There was something supremely calming about being close to your little furball like this. After all the love that you poured over her in the form of useless cat toys and new cat food every week, this somehow made it all worth it. 

You tapped lightly at your keyboard, not too harshly, just lightly enough so that you wouldn’t startle your sleeping cat. The tips of your toes were cold, but you didn’t dare to move to grab a blanket to ruin the moment. Outside, a light spring rain befell on your small cement patio. Droplets of the warm showers patted at the roof of your home softly. 

Your eyes had grown tired and dry at this late hour, but the end of the chapter was near. One more time you hovered your mouse over the little notification bar, clicking at it for that one last push of motivation: 

~ 

Bomi needs to quit MESSING AROUND. Blaze is right in front of her!!! Ahhhh I want them to get together soooo bad 

Is Herbie okay?? Poor bb, its so cute how we would do anything for Bomi. 

Bomi: 

Blaze: 

*now kiss* 

Are we really getting to the end of Book 1??? This has been such an amazing story N/n, I always look forward to your updates <3 they make my Thursdays hehe 

I can feel like something big and bad is coming...oh no...I hope that Blaze and Bomi make it through  

~ 

A thankful little chuckle hummed on your lips, then you pressed enter to start a new paragraph. 

“Oh Bomi,” You exhaled, “If only Blaze knew how you felt too.” 

Chapter 27 

...The group journeyed through the cavern with flickering white flames dancing and casting shadows on the stone walls dripping in stalactites. Bomi held on to the hilt of her sword tighter with a sense of dread creeping up her throat. Blaze looked onward, much as he had been doing these days. 

His leg was wrapped in a bloodied bandage: a reminder of the battle won against the Boar in Hilgram. He had jumped in front of her as he had countless times before. 

“Hello??” Blaze’s voice echoed against the long and winding chambers of the cave. In his tone he was confident, but his shoulders still shook with an uncertainty. 

Herbie’s little hedgehog feet patted the damp floor, and he looked up at his Princess with fear in his soft black eyes. The little velvet banner wrapped around his body had been torn and tattered from one too many battles. 

Had it been darker, Bomi wondered if she had reached out for Blaze’s hand to find in him. She shook her head with her resolve, eyes painfully shut. It was only in the darkness that she allowed herself to want for him. 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Today must be one of those spring-summer days.

Your warbled reflection chased after you in the blue glass of the university’s library windows. You had hoped that no one was on the other side watching you as you wrinkled up your nose to look like one of those devilish gargoyles that you had been writing of the night before. From the inside, rows and rows of books were lined up perfectly, however there were almost no students inside. It always did make you a little sad how few students would be there when you clocked in for your mandatory office hours.

Spring-summer days meant that the businesswomen on the sidewalks had exchanged with trousers with flowing skirts and little clicky ballet flats and each businessman had his tie and collar tugged down. There was a comforting warmth to the spring air that reminded you of your own college days when you and your friends--long gone now--had stayed up late to study, then would scour the buzzing streets for snacks. Things were much simplier then.

At the library’s entrance, budding tulips and geraniums of light purple hues were greeted by round bumblebees. Had the city not been as loud as it was, you could nearly hear the cicadas in the park on the east edge of the shining silver building.

You bowed slightly to the attendant at the desk who always would smile at you with adorable smiling eyes to match. She would often wear earrings of strange shapes that you had never seen before. She wore a lanyard too that had little cat paw prints decorating it; it was because of this you knew she was someone you could trust.

“Are you having a nice week?” You said to her customarily.

“Oh, I am. It’s always the same around here. My daughter will be having her baby soon! Sometimes I think that I’m more excited than she is.”

“You’ll have to tell me when that happens so I can bring her a gift, okay?”

The attendant smiled warmly, and nodded you off with a little oh, you don’t have to.

“Remember your key card this time?” She watched as you jingled around your own keys with the obsessive amount of plastic and silicon keychains.

You tsked. It seemed like nearly everyone in your life had now known how forgetful you tended to be sometimes.

“Yes. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be over there.”

Once more the two of you exchanged little bows and you made your way over to the back of the four storied library with the atrium of trees in between. There was a marble fountain encircled by the trees that had little oval shaped leaves. Two tiny birds, all black, bounced from branch to branch. It was your secret, but you had written about that fountain many times in your writing, but you were the only one who knew that it was real.

You tapped the reader to hear that familiar do-do doot along with the flash of the green lock. As always, the study room was a bit messy with eraser shavings sprinkled about and the odd dry marker laying next to the trashcan where someone had tried to toss it in, but had missed. The minute hand on the wall clock scooted right on to the 12.

“Are you busy?” That fluff on white hair peeked into your study room just like clockwork.

“For my favorite student? Do you even have to ask?”

Jeongin, the oldest and most attentive student in your class hopped in with his adorably boy-ish charm. Regardless of the fact that he was in the last year of his grad degree, it was impossible for him to look that old. You didn’t have the heart to tell him, but he technically shouldn’t have been in your class for undergrads, but you weren’t going to stop him.

“Why’d you decide to take this class anyway?” You would ask him.

He’d answer, “For fun.” with that cute little smile of his.

“I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“I just got here.” You pulled out a seat for him.

“Oh. Good. I was wondering if you could proof read my short story again. I’m having trouble with the ending. I just don’t think I understand all the way how to make it full circle like you said in lecture.”

He unzipped his leather backpack: obviously a gift from someone in his family that must have thought it would make him look his age. It didn’t. What didn’t help further was how he had adorned it with all kinds of keychains; much like your own keys. It was because of this that you knew he was someone you could trust.

His manuscript already had dozens of scribbles in his own handwriting with tons of question marks riddling the margins. 

“Let me take a look.”

You skimmed the pages of the short story--one which you had already read the week prior--for all of his new edits. The notes made it a bit hard to read, but you were used to how he would make a mess of his papers now. He leaned in close to you with glossy eyes that might have even twinkled a little like a cartoon. Both of his knees bounced furiously while he watched you read, and would look from the paper, to your face, then back to the paper, then back to your face...

“Is-is it good? Better?”

Jeongin had written a love story. His first one that you had known of. It was about a boy and a girl who had met on an airplane, and had been seated together. The two of them found out that they had shared so much about their two lives without ever meeting until this very moment. They had realized they went to the same high school, worked in the same building, and were travelling for the same reason: to meet up with someone that they had once loved. It was beautiful, tragic, and in some ways, familiar.

“I think that it’s wonderful Jeongin. The edits that you made to it from last week really help with the narrative flow as well as the vertical plot. You’re really good at asking the deeper questions behind the piece like “why are they really there,” and “why is it important that they are there.” All you need to do is tie it up.” 

“But howwww?” Jeongin slumped in his wheely chair. “What should I say?” 

“Well...” You tapped your pen to your lip. “The ending scene is when they land at the airport right? Why don’t you have your main character say something that calls back to all of their similarities and makes it seem like they’ve known eachother all along?” 

“But I don’t want it to seem like they’re going to forget eachother.” 

“They won’t. You established that they’ve both found something different than what they were looking for in the first place.” 

Your student’s face tangled up into concentrated knots and he puffed those thin strands of bleached white hair away from his eyes. 

“I could say...‘see you at home’? Or...maybe that’s too cheesy--” 

“--No it’s not! If you like it, I think that it also fits the story well. Its like, now they understand, and they’ve got something in eachother now that they hadn’t had before; also juxtaposing with your themes of travelling to make a reference to home.” 

“Damn, you’re much better at this kind of stuff than I am...” Jeongin wrote down the new ending on his print out. 

“Its just...what I like to do.” 

“I’m glad I came.” He grinned out with his mischievous and trademark smile. “How’s your story going by the way? Almost finished?” 

“Oh...” 

A heat rose in your cheeks. You had decided to tell Jeongin about Princess Bomi a few weeks back, but you had neglected to tell him exactly what the story was about. That was a secret better kept to yourself. 

“Its...good. I think. My readers seem to really like it.” 

“Maybe you’ll let me read it someday. I bet there would be tons of other people who would like to read it too, you know, outside of the internet.” 

“That’s what I’ve been told...” Hyunjin’s urgings echoed in your head. “Maybe...” Your eyes wandered to those scribblings of his. “How about we make a deal?” 

“What kind of deal?” 

“Once we get both of our stories sorted, lets submit them together. I’m sure people would like to read yours too.” 

“Mine?!” Your adorable student’s face flushed as deeply pink as the sweater he wore. “Oh no, no no no no no.” 

“I’m telling you it’s good! Its relatable, raw, well written. It never hurts to try. How about submitting it for the literary journal they do at the end of the semester?” 

“You mean the one that all the arts majors read and fuckin’ eviscerate?? Hell no.” 

“Hey, I could get eviscerated too by my chief editor.” 

Jeongin gulped with his terrified, brown, cartoon-character glistening eyes boring holes into his manuscript. 

You sang, “~Wanna go down together~?” 

“A-as long as we’re going down together...I guess it’s worth a shot.” 

“Alright then!!” 

He made a little sound of disgust, then shoved his papers back into his much-too-old-for-him bag. “That was all I needed to ask you for. Thank you.” He bowed with respect. “I won’t be bothering you for too long today.” 

“You wrote a good story Jeongin.” 

“Mm. Thank you.” His smile turned into a tiny flustered line. 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

STUPID NEW CAT FOOD. AGAIN. 

In one hand, you held the crinkled up grocery list with angry doodles of your cat folded into the corners of the page. You didn’t quite know if cats had eyebrows like the ones you had drawn onto your cat’s smug face, but you were for certain that this cat must’ve had them...and they were angry. 

Bomi had selfishly decided at the end of your week that she no longer liked the last brand of cat food that you had found on the shelves of the grocery store. It was the brand stored next to the one that you had nearly concussed Minho with. 

You were at your wits end. There must have been something wrong with your cat--to hell with her being a picky eater. Maybe she really was just a little alien inside there. A little alien that hated cat food. The image of you sitting at your dining table across from Bomi eating two plates of people food crossed your mind. She picked up the fork with her white paw and dabbed at her mouth with a cloth napkin. The idea didn’t seem the most out of reach. 

In your other hand was your phone opened to the maps app with the small blue dot leading you to the specialty pet store. 

“Damn spoiled, stuck up, good for nothing, pain in my as--” 

“Hey! Blossom??” 

Your head whipped around so fast you cracked the bones of your neck with a startling pop. You rubbed at your neck to ease the pain. 

“You okay?” 

At first you figured you must have dreamt him up in your neck-induced-pain. You cursed at your overactive imagination, still just as strong as it was when you had been small. 

Blaze in the flesh he was alllll the way from his battered Converse to his stupidly handsome curly hair. 

You laughed out incredulously with a hand still glued to the back of your neck. 

“Didn’t think that I would be seeing you around here again. Or at least, I was kind of hoping that I would.” 

He marched right up to you with that same smile you had pictured on Princess Bomi’s companion countless times before. Today he wore a leather jacket over the arms that you knew were covered in all kinds of flowers and vines. It hadn’t quite hit you yet that he had said he was hoping to see you. 

“Sorry if I startled you. I was just...really surprised.” 

“You’re fine, it’s fine.” 

You neck didn’t tell you it was fine. 

“What are you doing around here?” 

“Pet store.” Was all you could get out. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to you, but for someone who worked at a flower shop, he did end up smelling an awful lot like flowers. It was a sweet aroma, much like your garden. 

“Ahh, I just got off.” 

You walked on, also not noticing that he had started to follow you a couple steps behind. 

“I realized I didn’t get your name last time.” 

“Oh. It’s Y/n.” 

He hummed with a smirk. “I do kinda like Blossom more.” He crammed his hands into his pants pockets with a wistful little sigh. “Pretty nickname for someone as pretty as yourself.” 

“Psh. Stop.” You had said it sarcastically, but you didn’t intend for your heart to skip as harshly as it did when he had said so. 

“You’ve got a pet then? Dog? Cat?” 

“Cat. Just one.” 

“I wish I could take care of a pet like that. Don’t think I would be too good at it though. I see myself as more of a plant person. They’re quiet, don’t do too much, and they sort of love you back in their own way.” 

“How's that?” 

“By growing. And flowering. Changing colors and looking good in your windowsill. Nothing too crazy.” 

“I...guess I can see what you mean.” 

He flicked at the black hoop pierced into his lip in the way that you certainly hadn’t forgotten; and you were one for forgetting much. 

“Mind if I go in with you? I don’t have a whole lot going on.” 

Jisung. You had also remembered his name. He carried Blaze with him in the way that he had that fiery glint in his eye like he knew he was getting away with something. He was brash and forward, and charming as all hell. The sunset of blood orange and cotton candy pink seemed to melt into his shoulders where he stood before you in the golden hour of the evening. A yellow carnation was tucked into the pocket of his jacket. 

“You don’t have to...” 

He had already made up his mind, and swung open the door to the pet shop neighboring the floral shop. You didn’t know how you had missed it. 

The squawking of birds chimed with the bells hung over the shop door. 

“You coming?” He held it open for you. 

You sheepishly entered before him, nearly tripping on the little incline to the entrance and catching yourself three seconds before disaster. 

Jisung prompted, “Lead the way.” 

Normally you would have been concerned over the cleanliness of the store, but that seemed insignificant compared to the way that he looked around all in his Blaze-like wonder. He widened his eyes at the rows of fish tanks and twiddled with the little feather cat toys at the ends of the isles. 

Granted, he seemed much more immersed in the kinds of aquatic plants and moss balls that they had rather than the cute bunnies and mice, but still, you couldn’t help but shy away when he caught your glances. 

“Glad that I joined ya Blossom.” 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

There was something about Minho that felt like a lullaby. He wore a lavender colored sweater when he arrived at your doorstep: of course it was pooling into paws at his hands as always. The collar dipped deep enough for you to see the tops of his collarbones, and they were gorgeous and curved. His eyes wrinkled a little under his wire framed glasses when he would smile: that of which would also look like the little grin of a bunny. Effortlessly his brown hair kissed his forehead. 

He would speak softly and carefully, and listen to everything that you had said to him as if it was the most important thing in the world. His feet were too big for your spare pair of house slippers and he had a tiny hole in his khaki pants right by the waistline. Minho greeted Bomi with a tiny “aigoo” and she let him sweep her up into his arms where he bounced her lightly. She would never let you do that. Traitor. 

“Your home is very...you.” He had complimented. You had no idea what that meant. 

His lips were pink and glossy with drips of that peach soju that you had bought in the hopes that he would like it. It turned out that it was his favorite flavor. 

You wanted so badly to kiss the peachy flavor off of those lips. 

He had laughed a little at your array of cat-related home decor, laughing the most at your dish towels that had two fat cats on them that looked like chefs. He said that he had seen a movie once and the characters reminded him of that. 

The two of you sat outside on your patio on the wire chairs that would imprint designs into the back of your legs. The air mixed with the smell of your citronella candle and the scent of the roasted duck that you had attempted to make for him. You really shouldn’t have tried to make something for the first time when it was also his first time coming over. 

Maybe he was just being nice, but he had said it tasted good. 

It did not taste good, but rather harshly of salt and too much rosemary. 

Bomi rubbed at his legs under the table and even hiked herself up on two feet to peek into his lap. As much as it hurt to see your traitorous cat act this way, it was because of this that you knew he was someone that you could trust. Minho gave her head scratches and insisted to help you with the dishes--a mistake on his part. It took all of two minutes before you had a mishap with the detachable sink head, and soaked through his sweater. 

“Maybe I just shouldn’t trust you with water then?” He chuckled while dabbing away at the fabric. 

“That probably would be best.” 

Minho was a lullaby in the way that he laid down next to you on that quilt you had made in a crafting class some years ago. All of the patches were disjointed the the color scheme made very little sense, but it was stull functional. He kept his hands folded to his chest with reverence. His chest rose and fell calmly, and his body heat floated over to you. His presence was something familiar and still something that you couldn’t place. 

“Are you getting tired?” He asked you gently. 

You lied, “No, just resting my eyes.” 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have had that much soju then.” He joked into the open air.  

“How much longer?” 

“At least thirty more minutes.” 

He was so warm. Warmer than any chill of the spring night. 

First you would have kissed the peachy flavor on his lips. Then you would have cuddled all up into that lavender sweater which you imagined to be even softer than cat’s fur--or rather--it looked like it could have been. 

“Do you know any constellations?” Minho pointed up to the sky. 

“Not really.” 

“Well, that one is Ursa Major...and over there...that’s Leo. Can you see that it sort of looks like a triangle?” 

“Yes.” You had said, but really you didn’t have a clue, you liked it more hearing him talk about them. “Where did you learn about constellations?” 

“Long time ago. I think it was in school, but, that was so, so long ago.” 

The cool grass under the quilt rustled when he had leaned back up to sit, then dragged quilt attempt #2 over your body and his. 

“It was getting a little cold.” He quietly announced. 

His simple action of doing just that heated up your whole body now knowing that the two of you were trapped together, inches apart. 

Minho tucked his arms to prop up his head. “Thank you for cooking for me. I haven’t had someone other than my mother cook like that for me in a long while.” 

“I’m sorry...I know that it was pretty inedible--” 

“--And thank you for allowing me to come over too. I...realize...I don’t really know what I’m doing that well. I kind of invited myself...I hope that I’m not putting pressure on you or anything...” 

“--Doing what well?” Your heart leapt into your throat. 

“I just haven’t done this in a really long time.” 

This. 

What the hell was “this?” 

“I’m not following...” 

“Letting myself do something fun. Something nice and relaxing.” 

 You had formed a painful little “Oh.” on your lips. Your idea of this was different from his after all. 

“--Something nice and relaxing with you.” 

Another “Oh.” formed, but this one was a thankful one. 

“Can I tell you something?” Minho’s voice was barely in a whisper. 

“What is it?” You looked over at him and he was wrapped in the navy blue light of the night. You could have sworn that you could see the faintest inkling of stars in his eyes. 

He looked back at you in earnest. “I’ve been...scared, too, since moving back out here.” 

“W-why?” 

“There was something in me that was telling me that moving out here wouldn’t fix everything, and that I would be stuck forever on those things that happened, and the things that made me unhappy.” 

“Minho...what are you saying?” 

“-Got my heart broken. Back then. As cliché as the sounds.” He laughed, and it even sounded a twinge embarrassed. “I ran away from it to here. I had figured that it would give me time to get it all back together again.”  

“I-I’m so sorry.” 

“Running is good and all when you can physically remove yourself from what’s chasing you, but some things...” 

Your chest felt heavy. “I know exactly what you’re talking about.” 

“You do?” 

The first summer cicadas had started their nighttime chant, and their hisses ebbed and flowed like sea waves. 

“I feel like...these expectations that my family has of me, my mother...I can’t ever escape them. They’re always there and burned into my head. I think of them even when I don’t want to: get a better job that “contributes”, get married, have grandkids...” 

You paused with your own eyes cast up to the sky. The massive expanse seemed unfathomable. 

“Why is it that we can’t ever be happy doing the things that are supposed to make us happy?” 

The first meteor flew past your eyes with the speed of light, barely slow enough for you to catch it. 

The second was a bit slower, and traced after it a millisecond of white spectral dust. 

“Did you see that??” Without thinking, you poked once at Minho’s arm. 

You couldn’t see, but he had grinned with a weak smile. “I did.” 

All at once, the sky was illuminated with brilliant streaks of light and their white hot heads that would fade and dissapear just as quickly as they arrived. They tore through the sky with astonishing speed and you traced the outline of each line as fast as you could. 

“There’s so many.” You wondered aloud. 

Under the warmth of the haphazard blanket, fingers twisted into yours: careful and tentative, soft and curious.   

Minho breathed out, “I feel pretty happy right now.” 

[andraaste]

I am not your enemy - Lance fanfiction part 7

Chapter 7 too, enjooooy (⚠️ chapter 6 was released at the same time, be careful not to miss it. You can find all the other chapters on the hashtag « i am not your enemy » ⚠️)

(Link for Chapter 8 here)

Chapter 7 : I had just entered his territory

I followed the merry band to the cherry blossom tree, a place where proudly enthroned the two statues representing Leiftan and me, the saviors of the white sacrifice. At one time, I loved this place. It had even been my favorite place in HQ. But today ... every time I walked past these inanimate figures, I felt uneasy. To see us represented in this way put too much pressure on my shoulders. Most importantly, I still had this strange feeling that people kept staring at me.

The others didn't seem to realize it, they were arguing loudly and bickering, but for my part, I couldn't help but pay attention to everything around me. Thus, since the news of my awakening from the Crystal, I had repeatedly caught shifty glances in my direction, often accompanied by whispered conversations a little too loudly. I was totally confused by these behaviors. How to react to the admiration, and at the same time the fear, that we arouse in the hearts of people when they see us ?

At that moment, I had the unpleasant feeling that I understood, if only minutely, what Lance could be feeling. And how loneliness must have weighed on him sometimes too.

I shook my head sharply to try to get those thoughts out of my head. I would no longer fail to come to sympathize with this man's moods. In addition, the atmosphere was at the party tonight, I really had to stop brooding alone in my corner. A good part of the inhabitants of the HQ were present in the garden, it had apparently become common measure here that to celebrate the return of the troops left for the missions of rank A or B, that is to say the longest and most important missions, and everyone seemed to be doing it to their heart's content.

Conversations were mingling all around me and I couldn't focus clearly on any of them, when a brown head appeared in my field of vision. Seeing the mischievous smile that crossed the young wolf's face, I couldn't help but throw myself into his arms.

- Chrome !

The latter hugged me eagerly without losing his smile.

- Andraste, how are you ? I heard you were already doing great things in the infirmary, he chuckled as I pulled away from him.

- What do you want, I still left Eweleïn alone for seven long years, I had to make up for it a bit.

Chrome burst out into a frank laugh close to barking, which made me smile even more.

- When did you come back from your mission ? I questioned him.

- About an hour, which was more than enough for me to hear from you.

- Oh that's just my new celebrity daily, that.

He laughed again before running a hand through his thick hair, his expression suddenly confused.

- And if not, I also heard that you had crossed paths, well you know...

He didn't dare finish his sentence, so I did it for him.

- Lance, yes.

- And that Huang Hua ...

- Made him my new chaperone ? Yes too, I cut him off, slightly irritated at the memory of my meeting with her.

- You know, her decision is not easy, especially for you, but if she decided that it was the best thing to do ...

- Then I'll have to get used to it, I know.

Chrome seemed both surprised and relieved that I was so easily resigned to gently following the Chief of the Guard's orders.

- But you know very well what I think about it, I continued. Okay, I understood that his faults had been atoned for and that he was a great fighter, but I should still have a say in my relationship with him. Except in this case, Huang Hua did not give me a choice and probably to him either. This is what irritates me the most, but I'm far too tired right now to argue with her. So be it.

The wolf was looking at me with big round eyes.

- What did I say that was so shocking ? I asked him, flushing my cheeks.

- You accept her decision without complaining or shouting throughout HQ that Lance is a traitor and that Huang Hua has gone wild ? Maybe you should take another trip to the infirmary, I'm not feeling your best, he said seriously.

I rolled my eyes at his mockery as he laughed again.

- I'm teasing you, don't take it like that !

He patted me vigorously on the back to ease the mood, which probably moved me a side or two in the face of so much delicacy. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to realize that his gesture was a bit too vigorous for my poor human carcass.

- Finally, I hope that Lance and you... he continued.

- Are we going to become the best friends in the world ? Don't expect a mea culpa, I tolerate his presence, at the very least read.

A mocking pout slowly appeared on his face. I raised an eyebrow.

- What ?

- No nothing...

He was trying to keep from smiling, I knew that. I sighed in exasperation before using a tone that meant to be threatening.

- Chrome.

He awkwardly raised his hands in peace.

- Alright, Alright. No, I was just thinking that the two of you are really the same.

I paused for a long time trying to figure out what he was talking about. Sensing my confusion, he continued cautiously.

- You and Lance look a lot alike, he tried to explain to me with a shrug. It's just that it's really blatant, at times.

Sorry ?

Was he really telling me that Lance and I were alike ? How's that, "really blatant" ? He didn't care about me now.

- You know, it's not pejorative at all! I know you and him are complicated, but ...

- Yes we can say that it is rather complicated, indeed.

- But having seen him a lot in recent years, I can guarantee you that it's a compliment !

A compliment ?

- Chrome, you should stop there, I said, putting a hand on my forehead.

- I ... yes, you're right, he finally concluded with an embarrassed laugh.

Suddenly two arms circled Chrome and Karenn placed a kiss on his cheek.

- You are there my loulou ! I was looking for you.

Turning in my direction, she continued :

- Andraste, if I can borrow it from you.

I gave her a polite smile as she already began to pull Chrome by the arm.

- No worries, have fun.

I watched the couple walk away and sighed heavily. I had to admit that I was more than fed up with how everyone valued Lance. But on the other hand, I couldn't deny that I myself had, on rare occasions, appreciated his presence. Well, as much as possible anyway. I found myself thinking about the last time we had exchanged. It was clear that he had gone way too far in our training, but despite that, he still managed to make me feel some semblance of my powers again. And this feat had only happened in his presence.

I think it was time I stopped running away from him.

Abandoning the festivities, in which I had actually not participated so much, I went in search of the dragon. I suspected that Lance should not be very fond of this kind of events and therefore decided to slip away discreetly. The fact of me going away from the evening surprised me the greatest good, I think I could not stand the noise and the crowd very well. Who knows, maybe spending several years meditating in a crystal could create a kind of agoraphobia. Anyway, the more the calm of the night enveloped me, the better I felt.

I finally wandered around the HQ gardens with no real idea of ​​where I needed to go. Where could Lance be now ? And what was I going to say to him, once he was in front of me ?

Despite everything, I decided to head towards the corridor of the guards. Crossing the great hall of doors, I entered the corridor which led to the chambers of the members of the Guard. The night bathed the room in a soft light, but still, I could feel my heart race as I approached the door to his bedroom. What exactly was I going to tell him ? I had no idea.

My hand remained in the air for several long seconds before I mustered the courage to strike, my heart definitely racing. However, no sound from the other side of the clapper reached me in response. Other seconds flowed during which I didn't even dare to breathe.

Maybe he wasn't here, I must have been wrong... I finally lowered my arm, blowing loudly as I passed, and started to turn away when I felt the door open close to me.

- Andraste ?

I turned at the sound of his voice, it also slightly out of breath. It had been several days since I had heard it and surprisingly, it seemed even more serious than usual. Lance then fixed his icy gaze on mine, as if waiting for me to answer him something, but I stood for a moment stuck on the drops of sweat that smeared his chest.

Oh.

- What are you doing here ? he asked me while raising his eyebrows. You need something ?

Take it easy, Andraste. At once.

- I ... no, not really. I just wanted to talk to you, actually, I finally managed to articulate. Well, nothing very special and if I disturb you, we can do that another time.

- Why would you bother me ? he replied without a hint of irony.

His question caught me off guard but he didn't seem to mind. Seeing that I could find nothing to answer, he shifted to the side and invited me in, a glimmer of defiance in the pupils. I hesitated for a moment. Was it really a good idea ?

Slowly, I finally entered the dragon's lair. I felt him close the door behind my back and an icy shiver ran through me as a thought crossed my mind.

I had just entered his territory.

Deliberately.

(Chapter 8)

[nervousmendes]

Unsent Part 1 - Shawn Mendes

shawn x reader

a/n : so I'm finally back afer a really long break and I've been so excited to edit and post this one. I should also mention that is my first time writing angst so please be kind. any feedback would be much appreciated!

warnings : none, just 1.5k words of amateur angst and heartbreak

find more of my work : masterlist

It was a pleasant Saturday, the sun was long gone and the moonlight that spilled through the window was just enough to relax you while you worked on your research paper. Doing a PhD was never easy, and now that classes were going on in full swing, you were almost convinced that it was impossible. Your days mostly just consisted of you going to classes, working on essays, trips to the library and maybe watch a little Netflix before you hit the sack. It was a routine now, and you were always used to this life. You found your calm in the chaos whenever you could talk to your boyfriend who was touring somewhere in some city across the ocean. With your time zones never matching and him constantly traveling it was impossible to keep up with his schedule but you both did your best to stay as connected as possible.

When tour first kicked off, you missed Shawn so much. You hated the distance and you spent hours on end talking to him on facetime, blowing kisses and whining about wanting "virtual cuddles". It was a nightly ritual for the two of you to facetime immediately after his show, and since he was still in America at the time, it was easier to find a way to talk when you were both free. Even when you'd be too busy looking into your laptop screen while he was performing for thousands of excited teenagers every other night, there was some kind of warmth, some affirmation, that at the end of the day it was always going to be the two of you together until forever. Even though the physical distance made you sad, your relationship with him never seemed to burn out. Your love for each other was always so strong that the thought of being apart from each other never threatened your relationship.

But things shifted with time and the routine facetime calls went from after every show to every alternate show and then to every few days. You'd only text each other once or twice a day and it always felt like it was just for the sake of it. Sometimes you would go about your entire day and only realize before going to bed that you hadn't thought of him or spoken to him once throughout. You now knew more about him through his Instagram stories than you did from what he told you about tour. The quick ‘I love you’s exchanged before hanging up felt more mechanical than natural. Of course it hurt you, it made you feel guilty and made your heart ache at the same time, but you knew deep down that he was feeling that way too. It's not like he remembered to text you every single day either. It now turned into a subconscious competition of who would start the conversation first. Every text was thought out, typed, backspaced and rephrased. It felt like you didn't know each other as well as you once did. You would overthink not knowing whether a read receipt would do or a reply would be more reassuring. Everything seemed different, and not at all in a good way. As much as you hated to even think of it, a part of you felt that maybe you didn't love him anymore but your heart would never let you admit that.

You often went to bed not feeling sleepy at all, replaying all the memories from the initial stages of your relationship. The giddy first date, the awkward first kiss, the butterflies, the cheesy gifts and all the sneaking around. It felt like you were both different people back then. And maybe you just grew up or grew out of it, but does real love ever fade away? Does it suddenly empty itself and leave a void in your heart? How does it just make everything go away? You always thought, no you knew that he was the one. You still remember eighteen months ago at the fair, when he went down on one knee holding a huge stick of cotton candy in his hand, asking you to be "his honorable girlfriend until the end of time" and promised to never break your heart, you kissed him with everything in you right outside the Ferris wheel knowing in your heart that you already kind of wanted this forever. He had always been the one.

You both appreciated the little things, it was kind of what built your relationship with him. The reassuring glances from across a crowded room that made you uncomfortable, the hand around your waist when a distant friend would be “too nice” to you or the way his fingers played with your hair after a long, disheartening day were some of the many things you loved about your relationship with him. You always felt the need to be physically connected to him and it was almost common knowledge that Shawn's love language too was touch. You desperately missed the way his hand would automatically lace with yours while you walked together and the warmth it spread in you when his hands would go to the back of your neck to leave a tender kiss to your lips. And when one of you had a rough day, the other would kiss the stray tears away and you would both hold each other so tight until your ragged breaths would slow down and your hearts would beat to the rhythm of each other's pulse. All of that now felt like a distant memory, it was like you had him and lost him at the same time. Everything you once had with each other slipped right through your fingers. You would kill to go back in time and figure out anything you could've done differently to give this all a miss because the thought of even having to talk about the collected weight on both of your chests physically pained you. What if this was over? And even if it's not, what if there's nothing left to give? How were you going to go on knowing he's not yours anymore? While you learnt to live a life without him, you never once forgot that he would come right back to you. And now maybe he won’t and there’s nothing you could do about it. So many questions and so many thoughts ran through your head as you were still staring at the text you received about five minutes ago.

Hey I landed sometime back. On my way to Pickering. See u tomorrow?             - Shawn

No “babe”. No “honey”. Nothing about the movies he watched on the flight, or the occasional "Omg we're SO watching it together". It was a plain text just to keep you informed. Mechanical. You thought back to the last time he came home from tour, when he first showed up at your door and pushed for you to come spend the weekend with him and his family in Pickering. Gone were those days when he'd ring you up as soon as he had service on his phone again to tell you how tiring the flight was or how much he hated the food, and on hearing that you would order his favourite pizza before he got home. You read and re-read the insipid words on your screen and after a lot of thinking, with a doubtful mind, you typed out a simple response. 

Yes. Hope your flight was okay, get some rest tonight!

After humming and hawing for long enough, you hit send and patiently waited for the thumbs up he left under your text as an instant response. His lack of interest in continuing the conversation did sting, but you quickly pushed it away considering the fact that you were going to meet him the very next day and he’d clearly already had a tiring flight back to Toronto. You shifted around, pulling your blanket closer up to your face and just as you turned away and closed your eyes, the screen of your phone lit up again.

We need to talk, don't we... - Shawn

Shawn sat in his car parked outside his childhood home, right leg bouncing unconsciously and staring intently at the text he had just sent. He patiently waited for it to go from 'delivered' to 'read'. But it didn't. His bouncing leg was now shivering and the words he regretted typing out were staring right back at him. His fingers trembled over the screen, and with a shaky breath he unsent the message without giving it another thought. He took his bags and walked up to Karen and Manny at the door smiling widely as he silently thanked technology for saving him. But little did he know that your eyes were on the screen of your phone as you read those nauseating words under his contact name, and then watched the pop up disappear a minute after.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

I'm already working on part 2 and I can't wait to post it soon!! hope you liked this <3

dm me or reply to get added/removed from my taglist.

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[ninikrumbs]

Home (Bucky's Birthday Special)

A little bit of angst but mostly fluff.

----

Bucky found himself running through the woods again, his boots muddy, and his gloved hands bloody. The snow cold on his skin. Another mission done. Another person killed. His conditioning made him forget a lot of things but he could remember every single person he killed.

He made it into a dark tunnel. He laughed at the irony, how his life seemed like a never ending dark tunnel. The darkness seeped into his skin and almost reached into his soul. Sometimes he forgets about the man he once was, he doesn't even know why he holds on so much to what piece of his soul and sanity he has left when he has no one left.

He doesn't know what year it is anymore but he knows that everyone he's ever loved is long        gone. No one left to go back to, no family, no friends and no place to call home. The loneliness made him feel empty or maybe was it the murdering he did? He couldn't tell anymore.

As tunnel went further he thought maybe he should finally give in to the darkness. To let go of the hope that someday somebody will save him. Steve, maybe? But that would be impossible as he would probably be an old man now. That gave him peace, that Steve, his best friend got to live his life.

He chuckled bitterly. He always wondered what he did to deserve this. Even if someone did save him, he would still considered a criminal. Would anyone ever look at him as something more than a murderer?

He closed his eyes and just let himself be engulfed by the cold and the darkness. And just when he was almost fully sucked in, he heard something.. someone. Calling his name. A name that he hasn't heard in a long time.

"Bucky?"

His eyes snapped open as he frantically looked around.

"Bucky."

His eyes saw something at the end of the tunnel. A light, like a burning candle. It wasn't that bright but it was enough and he quickly ran towards it.

"I'm here."

-----------------------

His eyes snapped opened as he sat up breathless and in cold sweat. He didn't like those kind of nightmares, the type that made him relieved everything he felt. The hopelessness, the emptiness, and the darkness.

A small and gentle hand touched his shoulder making him jolt. "Bucky?"

His steel blue eyes met with your concerned ones and suddenly he felt like he could breath again.

There you were beside him, in an oversized shirt and with you hair adorably messy. In your hands was a small frosted cake with one little candle burning on it. The light he saw.. of course. It was you, it was always you. He looked down, running his hand through his hair and chuckled a little. You quickly put down the cake and turned off the candle beside you and inched closer to Bucky. You gently his his face with both you hands, making him look at you. The moonlight passing through the windows gave you both enough light to see each other.

"Bucky, are you okay? I'm so sorry. I went to the kitchen to grab the cake from the-"

He suddenly grabbed you by the waist and settled you down on his lap before pulling you into a tight hug, his arms on your back and waist. You were so close that you couldn't put your arms on his neck so you settled them on his wide back. You felt him took in a deep breath before sighing in content on your shoulder.

"You have nothing to say sorry for, doll." You heard him say before he kissed your shoulder, making your stomach tingle as he pulled back to look at you.

You felt guilty though. You knew that you kept the nightmares at bay (an honor really.) but you just had to be selfish. You wanted to be the first one to greet him on his birthday, you could've just greeted him with words at midnight but no you wanted to include a cake too. Did you just ruined his birthday?

You remorsefully sighed and gently ran your fingers through his dark locks. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

He held your hand that was in his hair, bringing it down to his chest. You could feel the steady beating of his heart as his steel blue eyes sweetly met yours.

"No, because you already made it better. " He said softly.

It was true. You made everything better, with just a touch, a glance , a whisper. You pulled him out of the darkness and led him home. You saved him, in every way a person could be saved.

From the moment you met, you never looked at him like some sort of criminal, or a murderer. Instead your kind smile and bright eyes always greeted him at every moment. He couldn't even believe that someone like you could ever love someone like him but the fact was, that you did. Sometimes it felt surreal, seeing you sleeping beside him, loving him. He thought that maybe this was the dream but as he held on to you every night and woke up to you every morning, he knew that this was the reason he kept holding on for so long. For you.

He was no longer the man with no home, with only emptiness inside him as the sight of you made him feel at home. The darkness no longer chased him, as your light kept them at bay.

You gazed intently into his eyes, looking for any sign of anything wrong but all you could see was love and warmth as his eyes gazed into yours. You gave an unsure sigh.

"Okay.. Lets go back to sleep."  You suggested as you didn't want anything else bad to happen.

He gave a playful snort. "Sleep? What happened to my birthday cake, doll?"

He didn't miss the way your eyes lit up at the words he said. He knew that you wanted to surprise him and just the thought of that made him warm inside.

"Really? Are you sure?" Your voice already becoming a little lively.

Bucky gave a soft chuckle before tucking a stray hair behind you ear. "It is my birthday isn't it? It's only right that I blow my candle."

You lips formed into a grin as you hurriedly grabbed the small cake you baked yesterday. You quickly lit the small candle up with the lighter beside it. Its small light illuminated both of your faces as you held it in between both of you. You looked at each other with matching grins on your faces.

"Happy Birthday Bucky." You finally greeted.

"Thank you, doll"

He was about to blow his candle before you stopped him. "You're suppose to make a wish before you blue the candle, soldier." You teased and he shook his head in amusement.

"Yes ma'am." He closed his eyes for a few seconds before blowing out his candle.

"What did you wish for?" You questioned as he opened his eyes.

Bucky gave you a mischievous smile as he placed the cake on the night table. He pulled you closer to him and leaned his forehead to yours, making your stomach do back flips.

"Honestly, nothing."

You pulled away and furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

He chuckled at your reaction. "I don't need to wish for anything, I have everything I could ever want in my lap right now."

You felt the heat rise up your cheeks. How is it that this man could still make you feel like a teenage girl with her first love? Thank goodness it was dark.

You gazed into his beautiful steel blue eyes and saw nothing but love and adoration, your sure that your eyes mirrored his. You never thought one person could make you this happy until you met him.

"I love you, Bucky.  " You whispered softly.

He sighed happily. "I love you too, doll.. more than you ever know."

He leaned down and gave you a gentle and delicate kiss.  You smiled into the kiss as you kissed him back, wrapping your arms around his neck. Every time you and Bucky kissed, it always made your heart swell so much that it hurt. You could feel his love for you course through your entire body as it made your skin warm and tingly. You exchanged a few gentle kisses and one more lingering kiss before pulling away.

"Thank you, doll. For everything." He whispered against your lips.

"I didn't really do much Buck." You smiled sheepishly.

"But you did. You saved me in every way possible. Whether it is in real life or in my dreams, it was always you who pulled me back, who gave me hope. It was your light I followed and you never gave up on me." You could hear the emotions in his voice as  he spoke.

"And I never will." You answered.

"God, I love you." Yes, you were his home. Bucky never thought that a home would be person until he met you.

You gave him an infectious grin before tackling him into the bed. Bucky let out a throaty laugh at your antics as you rolled around your soft bed together, Bucky making sure not to crush your small body against his.

You finally landed on top of him. "I win." You said with a cheeky grin, though your sure that the super soldier just let you win. You leaned down and gave him what was supposed to be a quick peck on the lips but Bucky held your face and gave you a toe curling kiss.

"Nah, its always a win-win situation for me, doll." He teased after pulling back from the kiss. You playfully rolled his eyes at his words.

Finally, the air was light and you could hear the sound of kisses being exchanged , playful banter, and only the sound of laughter bouncing off the walls. It was almost one am but both of you didn't care.

-------

When you and Bucky finally did sleep, your head was tucked under his neck and his arms were wrapped around you.

You both woke up to the team surprising you  with a huge cake courtesy of Tony Stark. The surprise was loud and had streamers and confetti everywhere.

"Happy Birthday Buck!" Steve greeted with a big smile on his face as Bucky stood up

"Thanks, punk."

"So Barnes, How does it feel to be a hundred and four years old?" Sam said poking fun at Bucky.

"Shut up."

Everyone greeted him a Happy Birthday and even though Bucky had a look of annoyance on his face you knew that he was secretly thankful. Even when Tony asked you whether you really liked dating an old man and should be pushing him around in a wheelchair.

This idiotic team were his family and he wouldn't have in any other way.

A happy birthday indeed.

[kayparker20]

Let Me Love You

Alright so this is what I’ve been working on for the past week! I hope you enjoy

Summary: Shikamaru never planned to fall for Ino’s best friend, and he definitely never planned to do about it. When he insisted on training with her, he just wanted to make her happy, how does he end up asking to kiss her? He’s surprised to find her heart might have room for him afterall. Lemon.

FFN | AO3

Shikamaru laid on his back on the grass, finally enjoying a bit of relaxation after training with Asuma. He sat back and watched the clouds. Something that always brought him comfort, he always grasped what shred of laziness he could spare these days. Oftentimes now, he took this time to think, instead of blankly staring at the clouds. He reminisced about some of the past times in his life, and how he never got to do this much anymore. Sometimes he thought back on training sessions, and what his squad needed to work on, or tried to think of new formations they could make with their jutsu. Really, at least this time, he was thinking about a certain girl, once again. She was slowly invading his thoughts the last couple weeks, despite how troublesome he found most women.

He thought about all the things that have happened to his team, the Rookie 9, and to her. The Third Hokage was assassinated by his own student. Sasuke took off after the chunin exams to pursue Orochimaru. He even left her unconscious on a bench. Naruto was off training with Jiraiya, with the promise to bring back the person she loved. Kakashi had continually taken long term missions, and seemingly abandoned her to deal with the pain alone. She seemed almost in a limbo, even while she was under the instruction of the Godaime.

He thought more and more about the way things have turned out for his classmates. He could never imagine trying to kill Asuma. Or to leave Ino crying for him, let alone on a bench in the middle of the night. Even if he was well aware the bothersome blonde had no romantic feelings for him, he still couldn’t picture breaking someone like Sasuke had done to Sakura Haruno. How he created so much self-doubt in Naruto. He felt bitter towards the ninja who didn’t even witness the pain he inflicted upon people that Shikamaru was now close to. He could never understand how Sasuke thought power and revenge was more important than his own team.

More important than Sakura. When he had left, there was something in her that broke. He knew it had been her heart, you could see it in the way her smiles hardly reached her eyes anymore. In the way she carried herself now, she seemed to try and keep her emotions more hidden, except for when she was angry or truly hurt. He never realized how much he loved her smile, until she stopped smiling. 

Somewhere along the way, Ino had managed to get them to hang out one time. She made an off hand comment about Sakura needing to spend more time with smart people, and joked that he should teach her how to play shogi. When Sakura smiled even as she chastised her friend for getting in her business, he couldn’t resist the idea. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to have another person to play shogi with, being as his Dad was ever busy, and Asuma couldn’t play as often now. Jounin ninja ever since the attack almost always had a directive from the Fifth if they weren’t training an up-coming squad of ninja.

He sighed softly before resting his eyes and clearing his head. He could never quite truly clear it of the colours of rosy pink hair and teal coloured eyes. How it felt the past few weeks to just be in her presence. How smart she was, as he soon found out when they played a game of shoji. He knew she had been top of her class, but there’s a difference in memorizing information, and being able to think out the moves to make in any situation.  They had fallen into a routine of playing a game or two weekly, and it seemed he only fell even further for her as he spent more time with her.

Memories of her flitted through his mind, like the way she chewed her bottom lip when she thought about her next move. Or how she felt in his arms when she would tackle him after he let her win, complaining that it wasn’t a real win if he allowed it. How the smell of her jasmine perfume invaded his senses when she had been so close to him. The musical sound of her laughter. The small smiles that had formed on her face, genuine even if they didn’t reach her eyes. 

He sighed and shook his head once again. What a drag, he was supposed to be relaxing and yet he couldn’t relax when he thought about her. 

Of course, leave it to him to end up in the troublesome situation of falling for the girl who already had her sights set on someone else. He wouldn’t be so arrogant to think he could sway her feelings, it seemed childish almost to try and change it. No matter how much he knew Sasuke didn’t deserve even an ounce of the friendship or love that Naruto and Sakura held for him so strongly.

 He stood up from his spot and sighed before he heard shuffling. He turned his head towards the noise before finding the very being of his thoughts, standing there with her leather gloves on, clearly coming to train. She had this look of determination on her face, but there was a twinge of disappointment in her eyes. 

“Oh, hey Shikamaru!” She smiled softly. “It’s okay, I’ll find another training ground! I wouldn’t want to intrude on your cloud watching.” She turned to leave.

She had only just got here, he didn’t want her to leave yet.

He inwardly scrambled for something to say to stop her too-soon departure.“Sakura, do you have a training partner?” He jogged towards her. “You usually have Tsunade with you don’t you?” He inquired.

He realized how lame that might have sounded, or maybe even rubbing salt into the wound of her disappointment since Tsunade was clearly absent today.

Was there even a way to have a strategy for love, and trying to gain it? 

Sakura laughed nervously. “She’s got a lot of hokage business today. And, you know Naruto is gone and Kakashi-sensei is on yet another mission…” There was a tinge of sadness in her voice as she explained herself even further.

He knew no ninja cared for pity, and he didn’t want to come off that way. But he also knows training by yourself only gets you so far. And that she hated to be alone. He tried for a casual smile towards her before shrugging his shoulders. He really did try to be there for his friends, and the sadness in her voice made it clear she wasn’t thrilled about the situation. “Well, I’ll train with you today. I’m not busy or anything.”

Sakura's eyes widened. “Oh, no you don’t have to, Shikamaru!” She looked off to the side a bit. “I know you were cloud watching, really, I don’t want to interrupt.”

“Nah, I was just finished. Come on, you only gain so much from training alone. What were you going to work on today?”

Sakura couldn’t help the shy smile that graced her lips then. She looked up at Shikamaru, meeting his chocolate eyes this time. “I was going to work on taijutsu. Tsunade is teaching me how to channel chakra into my attacks to make them stronger. I also need to learn to dodge better…” 

Ino had gone to Sakura’s after training to find she was gone. She imagined she may have been training with Tsunade, so she picked up some food and headed back to the training grounds. She was surprised to find Sakura alone, without Tsunade approaching the training ground she had left only 20 minutes ago. And then she smiled as she realized Shikamaru was still there, and was probably cloud watching.

Shika hadn’t said anything but she had noticed how he seemed to glance at Sakura just a little longer these days whenever they ran into her friend as a team. Or how sometimes he seemed concerned about her being left behind by her team, asking why nothing was done about it. Asuma gave a knowing smile when he mentioned it, and told him that he could do something about it if he felt so concerned about it.

This really turned into Ino doing something about it because Shikamaru just huffed at his response, and only Ino noticed the slightest tinge of pink in his face he had that day. Ino started inviting Sakura to train with them occasionally then, before one day insisting they start to hang out. Really, she just wanted to see both of them happy.

She got a little closer so she could hear when they spoke. When Shikamaru suggested he train with her, Ino beamed. There’s no one else she would ever trust to be so kind to Sakura, it was why she had set them up a few weeks back. She was surprised he went out of his way to do it, considering he wasn’t usually one to volunteer himself. All the more proof showing he had some sort of affection for her. She ran off to tell Choji, giggling with delight all the while to find him.

Sakura and Shikamaru had been sparring for about half an hour at this point, just exchanging blows. It wasn’t without the occasional snide comments to each other, as Sakura loved to chat.

Sakura smirked softly before landing a kick to his side. “You know, it’s not really training when you go easy on me, Shikamaru.”

He raised an eyebrow at her before shaking his head. “You’re just as troublesome as Ino. Why do you think I’m going easy on you?” But he smiled even just slightly as he said it. “I’m not, but I’m not trying to actually hurt you either, woman.”

He grabbed hold of her leg when she went to kick him again and pushed it to the side in an attempt to make her lose balance.

“I’m not fragile. Tsunade hits me with chakra punches, I think I can handle your normal ones.” She chided as she caught herself from falling. She lunged at him, going for his side when he grabbed her wrist and twisted, bringing her arm behind her.

She felt how firm his chest was against her arm and back but tried to shake away those invasive little thoughts that crossed her mind.

“Taijutsu isn’t my strong suit, I’m more of a ranged shinobi, as I’m sure you should know already.”

She tensed slightly as she felt his breath brush across her neck as he spoke. She nodded. “Ah, yes that’s right.” She smirked and hooked her foot behind his ankle and pulled, sending him to the ground as she turned and crossed her arms. “Perhaps this is good training for both of us then.”

He landed flat on his back, surprised by her move. He looked up at her and was caught for a moment at the sight of her. She stood, staring down at him with a happy glint in her turquoise eyes he hadn’t seen for at least two years. Her hair reached a little past her shoulders now as it blew around in the slight breeze. Her hips were cocked to one side as she gazed at him with amusement even though her arms were crossed. She had a thin sheen of sweat that glistened across her skin, and it did nothing but add to his attraction. It had caught him off guard, but she looked beautiful in that moment, especially with the clouds behind her as a backdrop.

She watched as Shikamaru seemed to gaze at her for a little bit longer before she felt heat rushing to her face. “H-Hey, what are you looking at?” She snapped.

“You have a pretty smile…” He said without really thinking.

Oh man, this is about to be a drag. 

He quickly stood up as his own face became dusted with a light shade of pink. He rubbed the back of his head. “I mean…” He trailed off, not quite sure how to dig himself out of this one.

Sakura only became more flustered. “I...oh?” She bit the inside of her cheek nervously, not sure what to say. “Thank you…” She gave a shy smile.

He returned with his own sheepish smile. “I… uh. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I know that you…” He didn’t know if bringing up Sasuke was a good idea he realized as he trailed off.

Sakura took a step closer and set a reassuring hand on his chest. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable at all, Shika. Thank you…” She looked up at him and she was smiling so brightly, it reached her eyes which were so warm now. “It means a lot to me, actually.”

He watched her for a moment, before wishing he knew how to handle this situation a little better. Really, everyone knew her heart was out to Sasuke, so was there really a point in trying? But her hand was on his chest and she was smiling at him so tenderly, so what did that mean for him?

Since when did he feel strongly enough to want to try?

It had to be her smile, and how he had been the one to make her that happy. He brought a hand up to cup one side of her face as he made eye contact with her. “Sakura, you do know you look beautiful, right?” He said softly.

Her lack of confidence in herself made no sense to him, but he had to try. She was a stunning kunoichi all around in his eyes.

She blushed even deeper now before staring into his dark brown eyes. She wasn’t used to someone being so close. And it was a bit of a shock coming from Shikamaru. 

But now some of Ino’s odd behaviour started making sense, like how every time she went out with Team 10, she somehow ended up sitting next to Shikamaru instead of Ino, and the couple times she trained with them, she ended up paired with him. Or when she tried to ask her about dating that one time. 

She gazed into his eyes, seeing how warm and inviting they were as he looked at her so tenderly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she compared it to the coldness that she always found in Sasuke’s gaze, but it seemed so distant now. It made her nervous all the same.

“I...uh.” she stuttered nervously.

She would have been lying if she tried to act like Shikamaru wasn’t attractive. She was flustered at the sudden attention he seemed to be paying attention to her, or was it so sudden? Had he looked at her like that before and she just didn’t notice? It made her feel giddy and nervous to be the object of his piercing gaze. It felt like he could see right through her. She could never tell what he was thinking, but he was clear enough in voicing he liked what he saw. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, not sure what to say, thinking his hands felt nice even if they were a little calloused. 

She began thinking of how he has always made her feel like she mattered the last few weeks, how this lazy genius she calls her friend always made time for her. How gentle he seemed to be holding her at this exact moment, and the awe in his gaze when he was on the ground moments ago when he looked up at her.

She gently gripped his shirt with the hand that still rested on his chest as she felt him lean closer, anticipating what she thought, and ever dared hope what was coming next. 

He took a step closer and leaned in towards her slightly. “Can I kiss you?” He spoke the question so softly as he slowly moved his hand to thread into her hair.  He didn’t want to make her feel pressured. “You don’t have to say ye-” 

And he felt soft lips just barely brush his own. His eyes slid closed as he brought his other hand to her hip, and deepened the kiss just a bit. Her hands moved to wrap around his neck. It was timid and shy, clearly the first for her(not to his surprise), but it was so sweet and gentle.

His face felt like it was on fire as he pulled back a bit. He gazed at her, surprise clear in his chocolate shaded eyes, but also something akin to delight.

She stared back up at Shikamaru, her lips still just barely parted. She could feel his chest against her own, how surprisingly toned he was compared to how lithe he looked. She could smell the layer of sweat that shined off his skin in the sun from their sparring moments ago. She took comfort in how firm yet gentle his grip on her was. It felt nice to be close to someone, she thought to herself, as she smiled up at him.

“Sakura… ” He pulled his hand back from her pink tresses to rest on her cheek. “I don’t mean to be a drag, but I… ” He stumbled for words, how do you even begin this conversation? Is the kiss enough, does he have to voice it?

“I liked it…” She spoke softly, before looking over him once more. “How...long?” Her eyes were full of curiosity, and happiness.

“Awhile…” He sighed. “I’ve always been concerned about you since everything happened, and especially since Naruto left. You were always…” He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to insult her, especially because he was well aware she had a killer punch once she was angry. “Alone.”

“I always found myself wanting to comfort you, to be there for you.” He laughed nervously. “Emotions are such a drag, you know? I don’t know how to explain them very well…”

She bit her lip softly. “Shika…” She placed both her hands against the sides of his face. 

“And I mean, who am I compared to Sasuke?” He gave a half smile as he stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. “Competitions are immature, especially ones you know you can’t win…” 

A flash of guilt went through her aquamarine hues and she looked away. 

She knew not everyone cared as deeply for Sasuke as her and Naruto, that most people saw him as a traitor now. Most people didn’t understand. But Shikamaru always understood, even if he didn’t agree with it.

It wasn’t a secret to her and Naruto. She knew that even though the rest of the Rookie 9 respected them enough to keep their opinions to themselves, and even help try to bring him back, that most of them were bitter towards the Uchiha. Who could blame them, when they were the ones that had to witness the pain her and Naruto felt all the time. No one could like someone who hurt people they cared about.

Shikamaru frowned, instantly regretting his words. He gently turned her face back towards him. “Sakura, that’s not how I meant that…” He sighed even deeper. “I just… I know you love him, so why would I tell you how I feel, it wouldn’t change that, and it wouldn’t change us, now would it?”

She stared at Shikamaru in wonder. He was so full understanding, not a hint of the judgement she was used to when in regards to Sasuke. He always was, but at this moment, she had begun fearing he would get angry and turn away. He hadn’t, he had only held on more, giving her more honesty and it made her heart swell more with the little bit of feelings she had started developing for him recently.

Shikamaru was here, and Sasuke wasn’t. He made her feel wanted, and the time she had spent with him lately were becoming some of the happier moments she had now. She wondered that as time went, if she would ever even pine for the vengeful raven anymore, as she slowly fell for the genius.

Shikamaru was looking at her so tenderly, but there was a hint of sadness in those eyes that suddenly reminded her of coffee in the late mornings they shared a couple of times over games of shoji.

“What if I said it could…?” She whispered to more herself than him. But he was a shinobi just like she was, and he had definitely heard it.

“Sakura..?”

“You…” She struggled to find words that didn’t sound awkward or cheesy. “I… don’t feel so alone when I’m with you. I feel happy.” 

Shikamaru stared at her for another moment before kissing her again.

Sakura gasped softly into the kiss before returning it eagerly. She rested her hands on the sides of his neck as various things fled through her little pink head. They were fast and fleeting but somehow still focused as she moved her mouth against his, not exactly smoothly as it was now her only second kiss.

Shikamaru, the one who said women are such a drag, was kissing her. He had done everything but outright confess to her.

She felt her heart beating out of her chest as butterflies seemed to fill her stomach.

His body felt hard against hers, or maybe he was just tense.

She wanted this, wanted him. 

She liked the way he embraced her, tight enough to express he didn’t want her to go, but gentle enough that she could have pulled away if she had wanted to.

Shikamaru was here and cared about her and her day and her feelings and even her damn training.

Her face burned with a hot blush.

And the most apparent thought, she liked every bit of it.

She hummed as Shikamaru seemed to grow a little more confident as he swiped his tongue along her bottom lip. She timidly parted her lips for him, moving one of her hands to his hair, almost daring to tug the strands out of its hold, curious about what it looked like when it was down. He pulled her closer, her body pressed right up against his, as he swirled his tongue around her own. His grip on her hips tightened before he raised one hand to gently tilt her head and thread his fingers into her hair, giving him better access.

She pulled away with a soft gasp, needing air to breathe from. “Shika…” She panted softly before looking up at him. She caught his eyes and was surprised by the intensity that she found in them. She bit her lip nervously as she tried to maintain his gaze.

She wondered what was going through his head that moment. He was never one she could read well. She was pretty sure that was why he always beat her in shoji, when he wasn’t letting her win. Or maybe it was because she would be trying to focus on not watching the way his eyes scanned the board. Sometimes her mind wandered even further, wondering what his hands felt like when she watched him move pieces.

She could confirm now that they had a firm grip, and were a little calloused and felt rough against the smooth skin of her neck or her cheek. It was a near perfect contrast, even though she knew her hands were just as callous as his from leading the life of a ninja.

“Do...you want to come to my place?” She asked him softly.

His eyes widened a bit at the request. 

He wanted to, but he was feeling a need he couldn’t dare expect her to satiate. He didn’t think that a kiss would draw him so far into his own desires. He just wanted to show her he cared, to express something he couldn’t quite get out in words. Just one kiss sparked his need within to be with her that went farther than just her company or his want to comfort her. 

“Sakura, I…” He felt his face flush again. “I don’t know if that's the best idea…” He disentangled himself from her slowly and took a step back. “I think I need to go uhm… Cool off.” He rubbed the back of his back, feeling rather embarrassed.

“Oh, uh…” She wasn’t stupid, she was more than well aware what he meant. She felt hot all over from that second kiss even as tender as it still was. She nodded slightly in understanding. “If you change your mind…” She couldn’t help the tinge of hope that laced her voice.

He looked at her a moment before leaning back down and placing a kiss over her forehead. “I’ll see you, Sakura…” He really wasn’t sure what else he could possibly say to her that wasn’t awkward or weird. 

He backed off almost reluctantly, wishing he could accept her offer to come to her home. He turned and walked away, but not before giving her a sheepish grin. He started walking towards home, even though he really wanted to turn around and go home with her.

But he feared she was just caught in the moment, and he didn’t want her to regret something, or for it to ruin their friendship. All these contradicting thoughts he had were troublesome and he was beginning to wonder how he let himself fall for her in the first place.

Then he remembered all the things she said, and how happy she had looked as she gazed up at him. That she had liked when he kissed her. Or how she didn’t feel so alone when she was with him.

He took a deep breath as he turned to look behind him even as he swore at himself that it was going to be the mistake that did him in. As his gaze fell back on her form, she had walked the opposite direction towards her apartment. He could see the slight slump in her shoulders, the disappointment in being turned down, even after he made the first move. Her head hung low and it caused a stabbing pain to throb in his chest.

He stopped as the realization dawned on him that he had just hurt her. He had hurt her, right after she had just told him that he made her feel happy. He didn’t want to be the reason she was hurting, he wanted to be the person that made her smile, just as brightly as she was just moments before he stepped away from her.

It couldn’t be the right thing to do if it made her look so upset. He couldn’t bear to be the one causing her to doubt herself, to feel like she did something wrong, or like she wasn’t enough. He couldn’t let her believe she was anything less than wonderful. The ink-haired man sighed as he took the next turn swiftly, heading towards her place. He picked up his pace, easily maneuvering around anyone else on the same path. 

He got there first. It didn’t surprise him considering the brisk pace he had developed and the slow one she had had. He waited silently on her porch, leaning against the door frame, watching in the direction he knew she would come from. 

He had been so focused on watching for Sakura that he was startled at the sound of Ino's higher pitched tone.

“So just what exactly are you doing here, hm?” She teased.

He huffed at her. “I… kissed Sakura.”

Ino blue orbs widened in surprise before she started fretting over him. “Shika, you did what!” She exclaimed excitedly.

“Don’t get so loud!” He hissed before his shoulders slumped. “Besides, I already fucked it up…” He sighed.

“Clearly you didn’t do something too terrible if you’re sitting on her doorstep.” She raised an eyebrow and clicked her tongue.

“I kissed her, and then she asked me to come over, and I just…” His cheeks tinted red again, before he glanced to see if he could see her down the road yet. “I didn’t want her to regret it…”

Ino’s gaze softened towards. “You mean, you didn’t want her to regret you.” She stepped right in front of Shikamaru, demanding his eye contact. “Look at me, she wouldn’t invite you over unless she had already decided it was what she wanted.” She set her hands on her hips. “And now you’ve probably gone and made her think she missed something or misread the situation.”

“But she didn’t! I just…” He sighed, frustrated with how he didn’t know how to say what he felt. “I didn’t want to hurt her, or hell I didn’t want to be hurt either.” 

Ino rolled her eyes but kept her tone light. “So, then why are you here?”

Why did this friend of his always have to have her nose in other people’s business? He huffed, before reminding himself that if she hadn’t been in Sakura’s business he might have never got to spend so much time with her in the first place. 

“I looked back after walking away and she just looked…” He felt so ashamed to have hurt her, even when his intentions had been the opposite. “She looked so hurt, and she had been smiling moments before I ruined it. And I can’t bear to be the reason she feels so sad, and I’d be lying if I sat here and tried to act like I didn’t want to come, I just tried to do the right thing…”

Ino caught sight of pink down the road out of the corner of her eye. She smiled. “As long as you’re doing what makes her happy, you’re doing the right thing, Shikamaru…” She gave him a pat on the shoulder before making the hand signs to a transportation jutsu and disappearing. 

Ino words lingered in the air for a moment as he thought about them, about how he had just had a similar thought.

He glanced back towards the street and saw her coming. He stood back away from the door frame and watched as she seemed to dread coming home, coming back to being alone. Another pain stabbed in his chest as he saw the actual expression on her face. He had started to come down the steps right as she looked up and saw him on her doorstep. He shot a smile in her direction as she picked up the pace, her own face lighting back up. 

She had run straight into his arms, right into his embrace on her steps.

“Shika-” She was cut off as he melded his lips to hers again and she closed her eyes, melting into the kiss just before he pulled away too soon.

“I’m sorry…” He said softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…” He cups her face in his hands. “I only said no because I don’t want you to make a mistake and regret… This.” 

She stared at him before turning to unlock her door and step inside, and jerked him into her house with one arm. She slammed the door before shoving him against it. “You let me decide whether or not I want something…” She huffed out in slight annoyance. “And damnit, I’ve been wanting you…”

He gasped at her sudden ambition but smirked a bit before hooking his palms on the back of her thighs and hoisting her effortlessly from the ground and holding her against him. He hummed appreciatively as she instantly wrapped her legs around his waist. “Then you have me.” 

One of her hands went for the band that held his hair up and slowly pulled it from his locks, tossing it aside. It fell just barely to his shoulders in layers, framing his face. It had only made him look even more handsome, and sexy as that smirk still played across his lips.

She ran her fingers through his hair, loving how thick and soft it felt as the strands slid through her fingers. She looked into his eyes, which always reminded her of something deep and dark, whether it was chocolate or coffee, or at the moment it was the tall woods of their home, safe and secure. There was emotion there that she couldn’t place there. She bit her lip in anticipation. There was some warmth developing in her chest as she looked at him and it only encouraged the nerves firing all over her skin.

He tilted his back into her touch, his breath hitching as her fingers threaded through his hair. He’d never let a girl take his hair down, not even when he was heavily drunk. It felt soothing to feel her fingers against his scalp as she incessantly stroked his hair.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do that…” She breathed out as she finally stopped and let her arms rest and loosely wrap around his shoulders.

He licked his lips before moving to kiss her neck softly. “I think your eagerness gave that part away, Sakura…” He mumbled against her neck as he lavished her soft skin with kisses. He heard her breath catch in her throat.

“Shika…” Her legs tightened around his hips as she breathed out another sigh. “You’re going to be…”

“I know…” He whispered before moving back up her neck to peck at her jawline and catch her lips with his once more. He tried to pour every bit of affection he had for her into that kiss as he started walking towards where he knew her bedroom was.

She let out a needy whimper as his lips met hers again and she slanted hers against them. She needed something more, she wanted to feel his hands on her. She wanted to feel needed by him, like she felt the need for him. It almost felt wrong, feeling this lust for the first time.

She gasped when she felt her back fall onto the bed, with him hovering over her from the edge of the mattress, easily settling between her thighs. He looked down at her before he placed a hand over her the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheekbone. He stared at her lovingly and it was then she suddenly felt the guilt build up in her chest.

She knew she felt something for him, and that it was more than this lust, but she couldn’t call it love. As he stared at her with such a heartfelt expression her heart squeezed and it all felt wrong now. She couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him.

“W-Wait..” She stammered, her words catching in her throat.

He hummed in response before leaning down and placing a kiss on her cheek, trailing down her jawline and nipping lightly at her smooth skin. “You can talk while I kiss you…” He mumbled between kisses, his breath flowing over her skin and making her shiver.

Her back arched and she shut her eyes tight. “I-I can’t do this, not…” She moaned out softly as he bit down on the junction of her neck and shoulder and began to suck softly on her skin there.

 “N-Not after you looked at me like that.” She breathed.

 “I-It’s wrong…” She whimpered as he pressed her more firmly onto her bed. 

“I-I don’t feel the same… Not as…” She gasped as she slowly pulled away from her neck and licked the slight red mark he left. “Not as intensely…” 

Shikamaru sat back up, resting his weight on his forearms on either side of her head. He knew that already. But he could see in her eyes as she looked at him, past the guilt, that she did care about him. And if there were any feelings in her heart for him, he wasn’t letting her go now. He never intended to let her go ever, just loving her silently for his life.

“Sakura, I never expected you to feel as strongly as I do now.” He smiled down at her. “Not yet…” He caressed her cheek.

Her heart squeezed once again at his compassion towards. “But this isn’t fair to you…” She started to drag herself away from his body, trying to slip through the gap left by his arms. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

He caught on and quickly pinned his hips against hers before entangling his hand in her hair and kissing her with everything he had. He knew she didn’t want to pull away, that she was just trying to spare his heart, but he needed her to see that he understood, that he accepted it. He was patient, and he would take whatever she would give him. He brought his other hand to grip her hip gently.

She gasped into the kiss before kissing him back, struggling to fight her desire as her morals battled it in her head. She wanted nothing but to be enveloped in his warmth and his touch and his mouth, wherever he decided to wonder with it. 

He pulled back and locked his coffee coloured eyes with her aqua ones. “Sakura, please, just let me love you.” He pleaded. “I know you want this too, even if you don’t feel it as deep as I do…” 

She swallowed before cupping his face in her hands, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “You don’t deserve this, Shika…” She stared into his eyes, enthralled by all the love and affection and care and compassion found in them as his eyes pierced through her again. “You deserve someone that would be devoted to you…entirely.” She smiled softly as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

He quickly wiped her eyes before kissing both her cheeks. “Sakura, if Sasuke walked back through the village gates, right now, where would you be after you found out?”

Her eyes widened at his question. He always caught her off guard with his bluntness he had for most topics. She looked at him, asking herself that question over and over again.

All she could think about was how she was right where she wanted to be. She was in the arms of someone who made her feel important, like she mattered. She stared at Shikamaru, his hair flowing down to his shoulders, slightly wavy from being held up all the time. She bit her lip, as she thought about the way his kiss made her heart leap in her chest, how the way he held her made her feel so safe. 

She thought about how everything about Sasuke was apathetic and uninviting. How he thought she was annoying, treated her like she was less than him. She thought about how distant he always was, and how he put power and revenge over everything else, even when their team had started to become like family.

She thought about how warm Shikamaru was, and how he always welcomed her in his presence, how right now he was pleading to be at her side, in her bed. How he trained with her as an equal, even when he pulled his punches in fear of hurting her. How he had always been there, and how he accepted her as she was. 

She stroked her thumbs across his cheeks as she beamed a smile before leaning up and kissing him, and slowly winding her fingers into his hair again, and blushed as he groaned at her touch. She pulled away before looking into eyes, warm and inviting as always, but nervous too.

“I’d be right here. I’d be with you. Naruto could come bursting through that door right now telling me Sasuke was back, and it would still hurt, but I would stay right here, in your arms.” 

His eyes widened, not expecting her to say she would choose him, knowing he had risked his heart being broken, thinking he had been stupid to ask such a question when he was trying to convince her to not push him away.

He couldn’t take it anymore as his smile stretched across his face. “Then that’s more than enough for me.” His voice was heavy with the emotions he felt constricting his heart.

She would choose him.

He crashed his lips down on hers, passion flaming fiercely as he slid his hand back into her hair, and the one gripping her hip slid under her to press their bodies close together. He felt her hands slip under his shoulders and press into his back. He nipped her bottom lip and when she gasped with a moan, he slid his tongue into her mouth and tangled it with hers. She whined with need into his demanding kiss, and he felt the surge of pleasure go straight to his center as he felt his groin tighten.

“Shikamaru, please…” She moaned into the kiss.

She shook his head as he dragged his mouth away from the kiss just to pepper more along her jawline and down her neck. “I will not rush this for you, I’m going to do this right.” 

Her eyes gleamed with curiosity and she arched her back into his touch. “Right…?”

The genius hummed against her skin softly before chuckling. “You are not, nor will you ever be just a quick fuck, Sakura.” His voice sounded deep and husky now, filled with need and it ignited her arousal as a deep blush flushed her skin and down her neck.

He inched his fingertips under the red fabric of her shirt, silently making the request to run his hands across her body. She nodded and pushed herself into his touch. He bit his lip and gripped the fabric and pulled it gently over her body, leaning down to kiss the skin of her abdomen as more and more was exposed.. Her breath hitched once more and she instinctively rolled her hips against his, grinding against his own arousal. She let out a loud moan and bit her lip.

“S-Shit, I’m so-”

As soon as her shirt was on the floor his hands landed on her hips and pinned them in place to the bed. His eyes were glazed over and dark as he bit his lip before he moved his hips against hers, rubbing their clothes sexes against each other deliberately. He groaned as her back arched and she moaned his name softly.

He slid his hands up her sides, hooking his fingers on her chest binds, looking for the piece that was tucked. Finding it quickly, he unwrapped them, still grinding his hips into hers as he unravelled the binds until she was exposed, her full breasts heaving with her heavy breathing. He cupped each mound in his hands and squeezed them softly, hardening even more at the moans that fell from her lips as she arched into his touch.

“Sh-Shika… Oh god.” She moaned out needily as her nipples quickly hardened at the attention she received. 

“Sakura…” He breathed before leaning down and expertly circling the tip of his tongue around a hardened nipple while he still continued his touches on her other breast. 

Her moans were like music to his ears. He knew she was a virgin but he didn’t expect his touch to have this much of an effect on her. He didn’t expect her to be so open to him. She blushed and whimpered and moaned but not once did she try to hide herself from him. The amount of trust she had in him made his heart swell. She looked so beautiful as she panted from his touches. 

“You’re beautiful…” He whispered against her skin. 

She looked up at him before she slid her hands under his flak jacket, her fingertips gliding across his mesh top, reveling in how toned his body felt, but wanting to feel his bare skin against her own. 

She huffed. “This needs to come off…” She sat up quickly, did away with the green vest they all owned, and pulled at the fabric, dragging it up his torso until it went over his head. 

He gazed at her as she eased the mesh material off his body. He loved the way she seemed captivated in this moment, so focused on him. Her hands pressed firm across his skin and she slid them down to his hips before she hooked her fingers on the waistband there.

He brought a hand up to her cheek once again, kissing her soft and slow, pushing her more fully onto the bed when she had finished unbuttoning his pants, he kicked them. She shed her skirt and her shorts. She could feel how wet she was everytime she moved her legs and she whined with need.

As he climbed onto the bed, still keeping settled between her legs, his knees sunk into the mattress. He sat up and just roved over her curves, her body nearly fully exposed besides the simple but sexy red panties she wore. He noticed the wet spot near her core and he smirked, stroking his hand up and down her thigh teasingly. He placed his thumb directly over her clothed clit and began rubbing slow and deliberate circles. He used his free hand to pin her hips to the bed, putting some of his weight onto her as she writhed beneath his touch.

“Shikamaru…” She drawled out in a low, heated voice. Her back arched up off the bed once more as her mouth hung open, breathy moans falling from her soft lips every time he rolled his thumb over her clit.

He licked his lips at the sight of seeing her so aroused. “You’re so wet and worked up and I’ve barely touched you…” He mumbled, his voice still deep and husky.

He began rubbing her faster, adding a little more pressure. He watched as her body began growing tense and smirked as her legs trembled around his hips. “Sakura, you look so sexy right now, baby…”

She bit her lip and a blush stained her cheeks once more as she couldn’t help but to buck her hips against his hand. She never even thought something could feel so pleasurable. She couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. She could feel that her panties were thoroughly soaked with her own juices and it was slightly embarrassing. Did he think she was easy, or was he just that good with his mouth and his hands? She whimpered when she felt his hand stop completely and just press firmly against her sensitive areas, and she couldn’t help but to grind herself into the palm of his hand, looking for any sort of friction.

He hooked the waistband of those pecky little panties before twirling them around his finger. He’d decided he could buy her new ones if him ripping them off pissed her off enough. With one swift pull, the fabric easily ripped. He tossed the scraps of her last bit of clothing off to the side as she gasped, but her eyes watched him intently, scaling down his body. They left a blazing heat building behind her touch. He watched her, as she hooked her slender fingers around his boxers and tugged them down his thighs to fall to his knees. He quickly kicked them off.

And then he sunk down onto the mattress, into her embrace and warmth. Her whole body was hot to the touch, feeling their bare skin against each other. He breathed a long sigh before catching her lips in another heated kiss, pouring his love into her. Her hands went into his hair and she tugged at the long strands, keeping them out of his face. 

He slowly slid his length along her entrance and against her clit, and she shook with the pleasure as she rocked her hips into his. 

“Oh, Shika…” She called out between kisses. “That’s so…” He nipped her bottom lip before sucking on it and slowly grinding his hips against hers, slicking himself with her arousal.

“Fuck, you’re dripping…” He groaned before he trailed wet kisses down her neck. 

“Shikamaru, please. This teasing is too much…” She whined.

He hummed in agreement before sliding his hands up her arms, pinning them to the bed, intertwining their fingers together. “If you need me to stop at any time…” 

She nodded, squeezing his hands. “I know…”

He aligned himself with her entrance, pressing the tip of his length into her slightly before kissing her again, delving his tongue between her lips and swirling around her own. He loved how she moaned at everything he did, how her body pressed up into his, no matter what he did. He began sucking on her tongue and she writhed between him and her sheets, messing them up even worse. Just as her moans began to become high pitched, knowing she’d want the worse done and over with, he pushed into her in one long and quick thrust, sheathing himself to the hilt.

He let out a strangled groan at how tight she was, how much she gripped him as he sank into her heat. “Sakura, fucking hell…” He growled against her lips as his body went taut with tension. He kept still, feeling her pussy pulsating around his length. She had whimpered at first and cried out in surprise but he didn’t see any signs of pain, which was a good sign but left him confused.

She moved her hips up into his and let out a broken moan, which he thought sounded a lot like ‘Shika’. “Hymens break often when you’re physically active,” She said, an annoyed and impatient tone falling from her lips. “Nothing hurts, so don’t you dare hold back.” She snapped as she writhed once more and cried out in pleasure, dissolving whatever demanding aura she tried to have.

He smirked. “My apologies.” And then he rolled over onto his back, pulling her on top of him. He held her hips tight, and lifted her up as he pulled out until just the very tip of his erection was left inside her, before thrusting upwards as he pulled her back down on him.

He threw his head back against her pillows, his raven layers sprawling across the cushions, the smells of her arousal and just her surrounding him as he pressed into her heat, overwhelmed in the sensations. He felt her hands settle firmly on his chest as she moaned out his name.

He gazed up at her, finding the way her hair hung around her face, and stuck to her neck with sweat, absolutely stunning. He watched as her breasts bounced with every movement, licking his lips as he watched them, watched her as she didn’t hold back any of the passion he gave her. He slid his hands up her sides before cupping the mounds once again, tweaking her nipples in sync with each undulation of their hips.

“Ride me, Sakura…” He growled out. 

She panted as he felt her distribute more of her weight into her arms, using his chest to support herself before she experimentally rocked her hips back and forth. The friction made him sigh, the pleasure of her taking control running through his body like an electric current. He jerked his hips up into her, moaning out her name low and heated.

She felt herself slicken even more against his member as her name slipped so freely from his lips, sounding so pleasured. She bit her lip before raising her hips and then pressing back down. She gasped as searing hot pleasure raced through her veins, and repeated the motion. She did it again and again, the urgency in her movements building as she started to get closer to the sweet bliss she knew was her first orgasm given to her by someone else. She chased it, bouncing in his lap desperately.

“Fuck, Sakura. You’re going to be the death of me…” He groaned and gripped her hips hard and guided her down onto him roughly. He felt her nails digging into his skin, her death gripping his shoulders. Moan after moan fell from her mouth, whimpers of his name filling the air, urging him on.

He rolled her over onto her back, kissing her hard and needy. Her hands pressed flat against his back, before her fingers curled and he felt her fingers digging into the skin of his shoulder blades. She pressed her body into him, her back arching as she cried out into his mouth, her legs shaking around his hips and her body shuddering. He felt her tighten around his throbbing cock as she lost herself in bliss. He kissed her neck and whispered against her skin. 

“You’re so gorgeous, Sakura…” He breathed against her ear as he kept pounding into her through her first orgasm he’d given her. 

He felt his back muscles tighten and he sunk deep into her warmth, nearing his own bliss. He peppered kisses across whatever skin he could reach, hugging her close and tight to his chest. He grabbed the back of her knee and raised her leg, finding a better angle.

“Sakura, I love you so much, fuck…” He moaned as he finally found his own release. He pumped into her slow and hard as he came, his seed coming out in multiple spurts as he shuddered. 

He collapsed on top of her body, both of them gasping for breath. He felt her gaze on him, but he couldn’t find the energy to turn his head. He gripped her hands tighter as he buried his face into her neck, breathing in her jasmine perfume.

“That was…” She panted as a smile spread across her lips. “Incredible…” 

He beamed before rolling himself off of her with effort. “You were amazing…” He sighed contentedly before pulling her into his arms. His eyes felt heavy as she cuddled up to his side, pulling up the blankets to cover them. She kissed his shoulder before sighing blissfully.

He looked down at her before kissing her forehead and gently sitting up. “I should probably go…” He didn’t expect to start instantly acting like a couple, staying in her bed. “I don’t want to-” 

She shoved him back down on the bed, restoring his shoulder as her pillow. “I want you to stay…” She snipped at him. 

He stared down at her, before a small smile graced his lips. “Okay, Sakura…” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her tight to him. 

She looked up at him and pecked his lips. “Thank you, Shikamaru…” 

He nodded, kissing her forehead. “I’ll always be here for you, however you need me, Sakura…”

They fell asleep, tangled in each other’s arms. 

A couple hours later, Ino came to check on Sakura. She knew her teammate struggled with his emotions, and that Sakura’s temper was hardly patient. She invited herself in, not noticing anything out of the ordinary.

“It’s awful quiet…” She narrowed her eyes, knowing the last time she came here, knowing she was home and it was this quiet, she had been in her room, asleep with her eyes tear-stained.

She sauntered up to her room, worry filling her mind. She pushed the door open, expecting to forcefully drag her friend out of bed. Ready to take her straight to Shikamaru and fix her friends up herself if she had to. 

But what she found made her heart swell with love and joy for a couple of the most important people in her life. Shikamaru was lying on his back with his hair down, framing his face, and thoroughly tangled. Sakura was nestled against his side using his chest as her pillow, her pink tresses splayed across his shoulder behind her, his arm wrapped tightly around her. Their clothes were scattered about the floor around the bed. The nosy blonde smirked, as she noted scratch marks on his chest, and lovebites along her neck and shoulders, and how Sakura lips swollen with kisses. They looked so happy and she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them. She knew they would kill her for it later, but she took a quick picture on her phone, and sent it to Sakura.

It’s about damn time Shikamaru fessed up. Happy for you, Forehead. 

[nanoland]

new chapter (supernatural fic)

(earlier parts are here; whole thing is here) 

Clean Hands, part 3 

Crowley/Castiel/Dean Winchester, warning for violence and spn demons being spn demons   

0   

Another day, another assassination attempt.

“Congratulations, sir,” said Paula, bustling in with his coffee and daily planner. “That brings it to eight, yes? I recall your making some remark about throwing a small office party if we hit ten before the end of the month.”

Lifting the corpse off the row of retractable spikes he’d installed in his desk, Crowley grunted, “It was a joke. On the other hand, maybe it would be good for morale. Make the blighters less determined to snuff me.”

“I’ll add it to the calendar. Sir, your ten ‘o clock is waiting in the lobby. Should I send him in?”

Technically, ‘ten ‘o clock’ didn’t exist in Hell. Time didn’t exist in Hell.

But by God, it did for Paula.

Infamous among Crowley’s minions, she ruled his appointment diary with an iron fist (well – iron talons, more accurately) and kept a horseman’s pick tucked neatly under her workstation for anyone who was more than five minutes late.

She’d been the most competent corporate PA in the business when Crowley had purchased her soul in exchange for a medical breakthrough that had beaten down her cancer and allowed her those ten precious years. It would, in fact, have allowed her a normal human lifespan, if not for Crowley’s hounds.

(Her wish was among his favourites and her contract had pride of place in his trophy cabinet. She could have just said ‘cure me’; she’d dreamed bigger. Ambition! Now that was what Crowley liked to see. Very few people who sold their souls managed to leave the world a better place than they’d found it.

Truthfully, arranging the breakthrough had taken an amount of power on his part that, ordinarily, he’d have objected to. Ever since the Zuckerberg Incident of 2004, Crowley had maintained a policy against granting wishes that fundamentally altered the pace and trajectory of human scientific development. But he’d wanted her. Reliable PAs were like gold dust and they almost always went to bloody Heaven. “And for what, I ask you?” he’d said to Dean once. “How much admin is really involved in keeping people locked in a lotus-eater machine?”)  

“The ten… oh, piss. It’s Alan, isn’t it? Yes, yes. Let’s get this over with. Send him in.”  

Another day, another fucking workplace harassment mess to sort out. How many more sodding seminars was he going to have to host before they all got it through their heads that biting off a co-worker’s arm was not a viable long-term conflict resolution strategy?

Sigh.

It was only after four meetings and sixteen calls that Crowley remembered he’d not yet disposed of the assassin.

“I suppose I should make an example of you,” he huffed, already imagining it.

The hassle.

The bother.

Getting an apron on.

Finding the hammer.

Lugging the stupid bastard up a ladder and nailing him to the office noticeboard by his scrote.

He could always ask Paula to do it. But, bless her heart, she’d only been a demon for six years and arranging a corpse for maximum intimidation was just as much a matter of practice as talent.

As Crowley was fetching the ladder, Gwen from Legal arrived whey-faced and dogged by two dozen assistants and interns.

“Sir, it’s a catastrophe,” she wailed.

Five minutes later, Crowley was back at his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Avoidable. Utterly, pathetically avoidable. All you had to do was amend the contract to state that the phrase ‘ten years’ refers solely and specifically to Earth’s orbital period, not the orbital period of the contractee.”

Gwen hung her head. “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. Finding qualified staff to manage this sort of deal is tricky. When people with, you know, science degrees and stuff die and are damned, the assholes over at the Experimental Punishments Department always snatch ‘em up first. It’s a real problem.”

“I’ll have a word with them. Ugh – alright, alright, let’s try and sort this out. How long is a Martian year?”

“The internet says six hundred and eighty-seven days.”

“Damn. Almost twice as long,” Crowley grumbled, pouring himself a drink. “What did he even want from us? He’s a billionaire. The list of things they can’t get without our help grows shorter by the day.”

“He wanted to guarantee that he’d be the first man on Mars, sir; that none of his competitors would get there before he did.”

“Wait. Hold on. The thing he wished for and the mechanism by which he’s attempting to fuck us over are one and the same? Oh, no, no, no. I’m not going to take that cheeky bollocks lying down. Get the head of Research and Development in here, now. We’re going to find out how to crash a spaceship.”

Gwen’s gaze flickered to the assassin’s corpse. “Um.”

“Fuck,” Crowley muttered.

At which point Paula tapped on the door to ask if he wanted to reschedule his next five meetings, because unless he could deal with them all in a grand total of twelve minutes, he’d be late for his call with the NRA’s chairman.

When Castiel arrived – without an appointment, as per usual, but Paula had standing instructions to let him through – he found Crowley resting his head on his desk, fantasising about being a paperweight.

“I’ve come for more sex,” he explained.

Dragging himself from despair’s depths, Crowley slurred, “T’riffic.”

He instructed his meat suit to sit up and turn on the winning smile. Unlike more reliable vehicles, possessed bodies didn’t have dashboard lights to indicate an exhausted battery; instead, it announced its displeasure by growing three new tumours.

Castiel stepped back, confused. Displeased. “You’re usually more enthusiastic than this. Why is your desk covered in diagrams of rockets? Is this a ‘new hobby’?”

Exaggerated finger quotes. Damn him to the pit, he was precious.

“Kitten, rest assured I have only two hobbies and they both dress badly.”

He expected retaliation for that. Castiel hated being reminded that Crowley regularly dallied with his favourite human. It came as a surprise, then, when the angel simply reached out and firmly gripped his shoulder, declaring, “You need to rest.”

Wings flapped. Suddenly, Crowley was standing in front of a wide, glassy lake, surrounded by dense forest, and in the distance…

“Is that Mount Fuji?”

“Indeed,” said Castiel, smiling briefly. “She’s a childhood friend. I first visited when she was little more than an unusually picturesque bump in the ground.”  

There was no one around. There was nothing around. No boats on the lake, no fishermen, no families on holiday, not even the distant roar of traffic. Just them, the view, the water, and a – huh – a bright orange tent pitched nearby.

“This is where I come to relax,” Castiel informed him, opening up the zipper.

“Whose is it?”

“Mine.”

“Huh. I wasn’t aware that you…”

“That I what?”

“Owned things. Or even grasped the concept of owning things. Don’t give me that look; you’re the one who’s worn the same socks ever since you slipped into that God-bothering flesh puppet.”

Castiel sniffed. “Materialism is a disease. But I’m not a child, Crowley. For your information, in my time on Earth I have owned many things.”

Always fun to ruffle the pretty bird’s feathers. “Yeah? How many of them were hand-me-downs from the Hardy Boys?”

“Most of them,” he said, levelly. “With the exception of this tent and your ass, demon.”

A pin drop pause.

Castiel maintained unblinking eye contact for exactly twelve seconds, then turned and crawled into his neon den.

Practically vibrating with adoration, Crowley followed.

It was evident that Castiel, despite his laudable efforts to create a space for himself in a world that had no space for him, didn’t entirely grok camping.

There were no sleeping bags. Instead, the tent’s bottom was covered in duvets, dozens of them, soft and fresh as if they’d come directly from the shop – or, more accurately, Crowley suspected, someone’s washing line.

“I cured her dog’s foot infection,” Castiel said, somewhat defensively, settling into his cotton and fleece nest.

“Ah. And she was so grateful she said you could make off with all her laundry, hm?”

“She… did not say those words, precisely. But it was heavily implied.”

Thank sin this was only a meat suit. Thank sin, thank everything that Castiel couldn’t see the expression of hopeless, pitiable fondness that would have adorned Crowley’s true face at that moment.

It was a relief when Castiel, without further ado, started undressing. Crowley, copying him, took the opportunity to talk sense into himself.

Come on. Grow up. Get it together. You know what you are. More importantly, you know what he is. Ageless. Unfathomable. Demons, at the end of the day, are just distilled human nastiness, but him? He existed before humans. Before microbes. He’s nice to babies and bees and pot plants and Dean and that makes it easy to forget that… that…

Oh, yes. Remember when he came to Hell? The first time he saw Dean; the start of their epic, eternal, infuriating romance? And where were you? That’s right. You were with the others, standing there slack-jawed and helpless, like dinosaurs watching the comet hit. Like children gazing up at a mushroom cloud.

Twelve thousand. That’s how many demons he burned out of existence, without even trying. Twelve thousand.

Do you think he ever thinks about them? Do you think he even noticed?

Twelve thousand.

Do you think he knows how close you were to being one of them?

Do you think he cares?

He’s nice to babies. Bees. Pot plants. Dean. You, even, sometimes. He’s sweet. He’s got big, soft blue eyes and hair that aches to be tussled. He’s a top-tier, world-class fuck. And at any moment, for any reason, he could end you, easy as blowing away dust, and you can’t say for certain he would even remember your name in a month’s time.

“What? No,” Castiel protested when Crowley kissed him. “We’re here to rest, Crowley.”

Drawing back, Crowley leered. “That’s what you want to do, is it? Rest?”

Perpetually thirsty tart that he was, Castiel bit his lip and looked torn. “I… yes.”

Crowley pouted.

Firmer now, Castiel said, “We will rest for a while first. Then we will have sex. Is that satisfactory?”

No sooner had Crowley resignedly nodded than Castiel seized him and finished undressing him, tossing his undershirt and socks out the tent. When they were both naked, the cold air coming off the lake making Crowley shiver, Castiel burrowed into his pilfered pile and dragged the demon down with him.

“Rest first,” he ordered him. “Sex afterwards. No, no – stop that. Afterwards, I said.”

Crowley groaned and whined and fussed, but obeyed.  

And bugger him gently if it wasn’t actually pleasant, very pleasant, to lie there with Castiel’s strong arms locked around his torso, toasty warm under layers of wool while, outside, the lake lapped at its bank and wind rustled through the trees. No assassins. No paperwork. No blood. Everything nice and quiet. Everything calm and clean.

Then Castiel sighed, a hot puff against the back of Crowley’s neck, and said, “You know, the thing that vexes me most about Dean is the way he…”