#hi also i am not depressed i swear! just very sad for some reason
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satellitedarling · 2 months ago
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haha god listening to music and having scenarios in your head is so fun, yes the scenarios are about a hypothetical good relationship with my parents why do you ask
#vent#idk i feel like i have no one to turn to#like my parents are there but relying on them feels like walking on eggshells and hiding the effects of my transition#also one of them is just a plain Disney movie antagonist to be honest#hi also i am not depressed i swear! just very sad for some reason#im content with my life#in a sense i dont want to have to see anyone ever again#just rot away in my flat forever and ever and not have to worry about conflict or agression from the people in my life#maybe im selfish idk#the earth is the home of everybody on earth#not just me#also human connections? so hard!!!#i think i may be on the spectrum but im still waiting for the official diagnosis next month#but its like im always uncomfortable around people? like im some sort of strange social parasite who does everything ever wrong and is reall#y awkward and nobody liked me ever but also when someone says they do#there's simply nothing? as if they were inly words to me#and it's not only that i dont believe it possible#but also that i just dont know the feeling#it just makes me uncomfortable to hear that despite my friends possibly believing it#it's not their fault#but i just feel like there's a barrier between me and everyone#or maybe that I'm like just some minor occurance in all these wonderful people and i disappear from their lives as quickly as i arrived?#i dont know how to feel content truthfully#walking znd listening to music can only keep me pensive for so long#i just want to be comfortable sometimes#spend a few minutes not worrying#actually accepting care and love#being deadweight if only for one short while#and not hating myself for days afterwards
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evilwickedme · 2 years ago
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Ooh, do you have any good Jason fic recs?
anon I cannot tell you how long I've been waiting to see those words!!!! yes I have good Jason fic recs in fact I have so many good Jason fic recs that after narrowing it down I still have fifteen links for you
I have read more fanfic for Jason Todd than maybe any other character ever. I do not understand the hold this man has on me but it's simply the situation we're in. anyway
Jason comes home fics
Make a Little Birdhouse In Your Soul is hands down my favorite. I'm talking favorite DC fic, top fics of all time period, not just from this list. I love this fic series. It is actively and regularly updating, thank fuck, because that little boost of serotonin is everything keeping me going I swear
The 70 Days After Groundhog Day is technically from Dick's POV, but it's about the aftermath of a timeloop that Jason was stuck in. it's. oh my god it's so good. just trust me on this one.
Emotional Motion Sickness is the "bruce goes to therapy" fic series we all want. canon get on this level
Retrograde Motion - I never used to like de-aging fics; not for any particular reason, I just never vibed with them. Recently I decided to see what all the fuss was about (bc there's so goddamn many in this fandom) and I'm glad, because I opened this fic and it's just. oh my god. the use of the de-aging trope here is truly incredible. after a whole week of dipping my feet into the trope I never need to do so again, because this fic made me fucking lose it. this is not going where you think it's going. also, for some reason there's not that much rebirth outlaws fic, and I really like what this author did with that team
matching wounds haha just gonna sneak my fic series on here and pretend that it was an accident, wait how did that get there (some jayroy later in the timeline too which can be read on its own if Jason coming home fics aren't for you)
other non-ship
Too Much Fucking Salt deals with the straw that broke the camel's back. I've read all 22k words of this in one sitting more than once. this is the anti "Jason Todd comes home" fic (this is in itself a whole genre of fic too honestly).
take his name out of your mouth (you don't deserve to mourn) is about Jason mourning himself, which he fucking deserves to. also he smokes a joint with Dick
Sown in Winter is about Jason pulling himself out of a depressive episode partially through the power of Stardew Valley. also technically jayroy, but it's honestly incidental to the story for the most part imo
JayRoy
I do read other ships for Jason but unabashedly this is my favorite, so
A Solid Resume - competency kink. that's all I have to say.
Tenderize is a series of oneshots all of which slowly build Jason and Roy's life together and coparenting lian and I just !!! could also double as a Jason coming home au but honestly that's mostly in the first fic. also a lot of discussion of various chain grocery stores in the united states that I will probably never actually step foot in
Dick Grayson and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Two to Three Weeks (But Who's Counting) is so fucking funny I die every time I reread this. there's a scene early on in a coffee shop that just. I don't even know what to say everything about this is perfect. I AM the girl sticking her nose in their business, at least spiritually.
dust devils on the horizon isn't even the only western au I've bookmarked for these two. something about jayroy and horses, man
unity of time: april 27th, 2020 is just,,,, super sad, man, idk what to tell you. it's f!jayroy, but happens after Roy died in sanctuary during the 24h of Jason's death day, so all of it is very fucking depressing. It's also fucking beautiful. I want to reread it now.
Promise After That I'll Let You Go is a poisonivory fic. I was introduced to poisonivory through the daredevil fandom earlier this year and may I tell you when I found out that this author writes for jayroy I lost my goddamn mind. this is my personal favorite, but I almost recommended at least two more aus. Their jayroy sugar daddy au is one of the only sugar daddy aus I've ever truly enjoyed. also really like the one where roy has had feelings for dick since their teen titans days but still starts a fwb thing with Jason. poisonivory can make me into kinks I'm not even into I s2g. anyway this one has lian literally dragging roy back into jason's life
finally, Reciprocation (or: Sex as Violence) shouldn't even really count as a jayroy fic but I feel weird putting it in the other category since it is sort of a jayroy fic. it's ace-aro!jason, which is one of my personal favorite interpretations of Jason (with so much textual evidence wtf), but there's still like... a lot of sex in this. Jason does not have a healthy relationship with sex in this fic. I would describe this as ending in a QPP for jayroy and lian.
honestly there's a lot of good jason and roy and lian fic out there I didn't rec cause this is already long enough
so yeah this is my very VERY pared down fic rec list for Jason Todd let me know if you want more and thank you so much for asking
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jaykayfictions · 1 month ago
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My high-school worst enemy | Park Jimin ff part 6
Summary: Park Jimin was a jerk and you hated him your entire time in high school but what happens when he isn't the asshole he appears to be?
genre: angst and fluff.
warnings: swearing, a bit of bullying and violence.
author's note: this chapter is a bit long so please bear that in mind.
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Stepping into the shit hole sham of a school, you go to your locker after biding Taehyun goodbye. He dropped you off today because Jungkook had to meet Lisa very early in the morning for a breakfast date. Wondering why he isn't in school? He has a basketball game at 9:30 am. He decided to use this opportunity to spend time with his girlfriend. Jungkook is probably groping her ass in the toilet while you're here stuck in an eight hour prison.
As you walked through the hallway you could hear whispers as girls shot you nasty looks. Isn't it too early to be bitches? Why can't people just mind their business instead of caring about others' lives? You hated gossip, this is the reason why you had very few female friends. Your phone started ringing, you checked the caller's ID and saw it was Jennie. You picked the call and smiled brightly saying hello.''Hey sis!'' She squealed excitedly over the phone. "I'm going for a sleep over after school at Karina's place. Mom is dropping me there and oppa is going to Yuna unnie's place so you will be home alone with dad." The twelve year old rambled cutely.
Karina was her best friend. They acted like sisters. Your mom and Karina's mom would take them shopping and buy matching clothes for them. Karina slept over frequently and vise versa. They looked so cute together and they reminded you of you and Jungkook when you were younger. "Okay Jen, thanks for informing me, love you and enjoy your sleep over, mwah!" You said grinning. "Love ya! bye!'' She shreiked.
After ending the call you went to your Calc class. You hated where you sat. At the front. How depressing. You couldn't fall asleep without the teacher finding out. It was annoying as hell. You sat down and decided to listen for your grades' sake. Two girls entered the class taking a seat behind you. You heard one of them gasp and whisper. Well just so you know, she is terrible at it. ''Is she Taehyun's sister? I should have known, they look alike.'' "Shh, do you want her to hear you?'' The other girl scolded. Too bad you already heard. They didn't know because they never asked. How the hell did they even find out?
Gosh, people did put glass cups against the wall just to listen to gossip. Great, now you were gonna walk around school for two weeks with people looking at you and asking for your brother's number.
This was how you looked if you're wondering. Credit to owner of picture.
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It was your lunch break and you weren't hungry so you decided to go to the rooftop. You sat on the floor with your knees to your chest. You put on your headphones and played some calm songs from your playlist. "Coo ooh ooh ooh ool with you." You sang along feeling sad for no reason. You chose to read a book to burn time. Your alarm rang indicating that your lunch time was over. It was time for Science. Oh no. It's just one lesson right? You can do this. You said to yourself missing Jungkook's presence badly.
You made your way towards the classroom, greeting Mr Cha when you got in before taking your seat at the back. You loved Science because it was interesting to you and also because of where you sat. Shortly after Jimin came in as well. Did he really hit his head on something? He really is attending all his classes early. How strange. Seeing him also caused you to wonder why he liked your post on Instagram. Didn't he hate you? Maybe you were just the one who disliked him. Halfway through the lesson, you saw a small note land on your table. 'Meet me after school.' Why would he want to meet you to meet him after school? This was definitely a prank.
Mr. Cha reminds of your project and you groan internally. Is that why Jimin sent that note? Hell nah, he doesn't give a shit about school work does he? while packing up, you turn to Jimin and say "Don't worry about the project, I'll do it alone." "It's a lot of work, are you sure about that?" He asked in amusement. You fought the urge to groan out loud because you knew he was right. You tried convincing Mr Cha to change your partner but he wasn't having it. "You need to learn to socialize." He had said completely oblivious to the fact that he had paired you with your enemy. You stepped out of the class leaving Jimin's question unanswered.
The school bell rang telling everyone school was officially over. Students rushed out of their classes determined to leave school. Finally, you were escaping boredom. You were walking home today. Jungkook needed to rest after his packed schedule so he was taking the bus home since his car was broken. You chose to walk as a form of exercise since you've been sitting with a cramped butt and an aching back for the past hour. While walking a car stopped next you. You turned to your side and the driver winded his window down. It was Jimin, was he really serious? The note wasn't a prank? Damn it.
"What do you want?" You asked not in the mood to bicker. He arched a brow ''We have a project to complete, don't we?" He asked as if stating the obvious. Shit. You forgot. "Hop on, I'll drive you to a place we can start it." He said slightly tilting his head to the passenger's seat. Oh. You were taken aback by this.
Was he really offering you a ride? Wasn't he an arrogant jerk? You were gonna be bored at home anyway and the sooner it was started the quicker it would be completed. You walked over to the other side and opened the car door. You got into the car and looked at the scenery through the window as he was driving. The roads were pretty. It had lilies, roses and sunflowers. The silence was oddly comfortable. Weird. The car came to a stop, you were at the so called 'place.' You stepped out of the car and looked up. Oh. My. Gosh. It was massive. The house was HUGE!! "You live here?" You asked asked with wide eyes. You weren't born into a rich family but your family owed no debt and was stable finanncialy.
"Of course I do! Where else did you expect me to take you to?" He snorted. "What a show off." You scoffed. " Maybe a coffee shop or something. Not sure but definitely not your house." You answered rolling your eyes. ''Will you let me show you the way in or do you want to keep rolling your eyes till they get stuck behind your head?" He asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Fine." You muttered under your breath. When you got in your mouth and eyes widened in shock. You gaped at the sight of the living room. Damn, you felt broke. It was large and some walls were stripped vertically in black and white while some walls were plain black and white. Gold was everywhere, on the dinning table and chairs, The center table, it was everywhere. The photo frames on the sixty inches TV stand showcased the pictures of his family but one caught your attention. It was a photo of Jimin in a playground, he looked around the age of seven. He was grinning so wide his eyes were barely visible.
He looked happy, you've never seen him smile or grin like that before. There weren't many picture but you saw Rosè in two. How the hell did he know her? You bear that in mind for later. You came here to complete a science project. Focus. An elderly woman approached you both, she had a warm smile on her face. You assumed she was the senior cook. "Good afternoon Ahjumma, this is Y/N, my science project partner, you and all the maids can retire from the kitchen today." Your eyes popped out like sockets. The fuck. He really said Ahjumma. You had expected him to call her by her name. He even smiled warmly. Is this Park Jimin? The lady looked and you and her smile widened. "You are very pretty." you flushed from the compliment. She turned to Jimin and said " I will inform the maids." She bowed before leaving.
Jimin had shown you the way to his room. When you were in his room he asked. " What would you like to eat?'' What? Were your ears working? What the fuck is going on with him today?! "Stop looking at me like I said Beauty and the Beast is real, you are my guest and it's rude for me to not offer you anything." "You cook?" You asked genuinely surprised. "So you mean after all I have said you only figured I cooked? I'm an asshole but I was taught manners, so answer my question seriously this time. What would you like to eat?" He asked again.
"Umm, Jajangmyeon is okay." You said pretending to think. "Really. Just Jajangmyeon, you don't need anything else?" He asked slowly just to make sure. "Yes, just Jajangmyeon." When he left you used the opportunity to explore his room. It was huge but surprisingly vague. It wasn't full of flashy colors just grey, black and white. It had a few posters of famous basketball players and a shirt signed by one, you couldn't identify who, you weren't really into basketball. There was a walk in closet and a basketball hoop attached to the wall. His king sized bed was layed neatly and his PC and game controller rested on his desk.
He really was the opposite of what you had expected. No shit but he had the worst first impression. When he came back with the Jajangmyeon you had to stop yourself from drooling. The aroma hit your nose making you hungrier than you already were. You sat at his desk at the corner of his room. He took a seat beside you, handing the plate of food over to you. You take a bite and moan at the taste. It. Was. Delicious.
"So how is it?" Jimin asked curious. Was he kidding right now? It tasted amazing. "It's so good!" You say eating more. "Who would have known you were such a good cook?" You continued. "Oh baby, there are a lot of things you don't know about me."He said with his famous smirk. You cringed. "Don't call me that." You whined causing him to chuckle "And who knew you were so easy to tease?" He retorted playfully. "I still hate you!" You said half joking. "I know, look, it was fucked up, I was- I still am fucked up." He sighs. "It was a dick move and I'm sorry."
You. Were. SHOCKED. He apologized? All the times he'd poke and annoy you during lessons just because he sat behind you were all forgotten and all the hate you had for him had vanished. It felt like you already forgave him and you just couldn't forget it. "Wow, the great 'Park Jimin' invited me over, makes me Jajangmyeon and is apologizing for something he did two years ago! I really am lucky" You said teasingly.
His sigh deepens. ''I know it's late but-" You cut him off "I forgive you." "Really?" He asked shocked, probably at the fact that it was that easy. ''Look I was a bitch for hating you so long for something like that and you were a dick for what you did, I apologize, you better accept it." He laughs and throws his back at what you said but turns serious again. "You did nothing wrong, you had every right to hate me and yeah I forgive you, even though you did nothing." He said causing you to crack a smile he also mirrors.
"So umm friends?" He asked a bit sheepish. Your eyes were deceiving you right? "Friends." "Hey give me a hand shake!" Jimin said acting offended. "Oh you wish!" You snorted even though you were already shaking his soft hands. "So, do we start the science project now?" He asked. "Wait! After i finish this jajangmyeon!" You said devouring the food again. "Sure." This was how your worst enemy became your friend. The real life example of the quote "Do not judge a book by it's cover." It just made sense to you now. You spent your time doing the project while teasing, laughing and joking around like crazy. Jimin was actually extremely smart. He just needed a little push.
You were halfway done and hella tired when Jimin asked an unexpected question. "Umm, I don't mean to invade your personal life but I can't help but ask. Was the guy you hugged at the event your boyfriend?" You blinked twice utterly confused before laughing. ''Boyfriend? no way, I've been practically single my whole life. That was my brother Taehyun." "Oh, I was just asking 'cause people said so- not like I care, right?" He rambled and you found it cute. Was that why he seemed angry that day? He said he didn't care so you payed no mind to it.
You decided to tease him a little. "Jealous?" You asked arching a brow. He turned a bit pink. Jesus fucking Christ. The bad boy Jimin, the basketball icon of the school actually blushed. He really was full of surprises. "No! Of course not!" He panicked yet his pink face said otherwise. "Besides, he has a girlfriend, her name's Yuna." "Oh." He replied still not fully convinced. His eyebrows were still scrunched in confusion and he had a broody expression on his face, almost as if he still wanted to ask you a question. You decided to make his life easier. ''Go on, tell me what you're thinking about." You said casually and his eyes were as wide as saucers. How the hell did you know? Was he being so obvious or was he just too easy to read?
"What about Jungkook? I mean you both seem close, like the kind of close that people wonder if you both ever dated." He says flushing in embarrassment. Gosh, he sounded so stupid. "Nah. His girlfriend is Lisa, we're that close 'cause we were friends since we were in diapers.'' You answer nonchalantly completely oblivious about his situation. "Really? Which Lisa?" "Lisa Manoban of course, which other Lisa do we know?" He was shocked, his eyes were definitely gonna pop out if he kept gaping. "You mean Lisa Manoban, the volleyball player?" "Which other volleyball player do we know that's named Lisa?" You asked genuinely confused at his confusion and surprise.
"She's my sister's bestfriend and she doesn't know. Oh hell no! This shit is messed up. Even the guys don't know. Crazy.'' He exclaimed. Wait. He has a sister? This time it was you gaping."You have a sister?" He smiled softly as if remembering something special. You found his reaction lovely. Their bond was definitely strong. "Yeah, Rosè, she's Lisa's bestie and they go to the same school." ''No wonder.'' You said voicing your thoughts aloud. ''Well the pictures downstairs were proof of that." Jimin said stating a fact. You were so stupid. You connected the dots and it all made sense.
''She's my friend as well, I'm the only one who knows about Jungkook and Lisa so you better keep this between us, okay?" "Sure." He said pretending to seal his mouth by smacking his thumb and index finger before swiping it across his lips. "Wow! Loads of secrets uncovered in one night,oh shoot! Time's gone. I think you should get going, we can complete this tomorrow or the day after." Jimin said. "If you say so." You mumbled, packing your things in your bag before biding him goodbye. You went home and had luckily sent a text to your dad saying you will be late. Maybe. Just maybe Park Jimin wasn't as bad as you thought he was.
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rileyh20 · 7 months ago
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Quick vent ig, TW: Swearing, Divorce, Sad stuff, Small mention of suicide.
This isn't what I usually would post, but I felt like I needed to get something off my chest without feeling like I'm complaining. Now, I have a great life, probably better then most people. My parents are usually nice to me, even if I feel like my mom doesn't care for me as much as she says she does. Yes, they are getting a divorce, but that isn't because of me. I knew they were most likely going to get a divorce when I was around 7 (seven) years old. I wasn't surprised, I wasn't even all that saddened. But I'm done being my parents therapist. I am sick of being in the middle of their toddler behavior. I know that isn't fair, but if they actually needed help, they would get help. Especially my mom, I'm sick of her venting to me and making almost every comment I make about the divorce or her! It's not fair to her for me feeling this way, but I am sick of it. I'm sick of her being one of the only things bringing down my mental health, of course she isn't all of it, but she's most of it. I don't need a therapist, despite what people say. Because I am very bad off, but I know this. I don't need a therapist to tell me what I already know. And I would just be complaining at that point! Why would I waste a therapist's time with my shit?
And my mom is so jealous for no fucking reason! My dad tells me to not tell my mom anything when I hangout with his co-worker, or if we do stuff together. Let me say it, she is married with a kid!! And she would have no interest in my dad (sorry dad). I don't get why my mom is so jealous of her for no reason! My mom said once that if I was friend's with that co-worker, I would be betraying her. Betraying. You know what? I am friends with her, and I don't care what my mom says anymore about me being friends with her!! I want to hangout with her and her kid. I want to be able to make my own friends without my mom thinking I'm betraying her.
And for some of you who might think my mom is real for being jealous, she really isn't. My dad's co-worker would never get with him, and he doesn't want her either. They are just really good friends, because my dad is friends with almost everyone!
So I sometimes wish I could see and hangout with my dad more? Yeah. But he doesn't make everything about him when I am with him. He tries his best to shield me away from most things, while also not treating me like a kid. I know I have a good life. Shit, most of my friends have worse lives and parents. So I don't know why I'm depressed, or have panic attacks, or mental breakdowns, or dissociate, or how I can no longer seem to fucking cry anymore!!
Sure, I may think my mom loves our dog more then me. I think my mom hates me at times, but that isn't true. But I am sick of this. I don't want to live like this anymore. Sometimes I think of suicide, but I would never do it. Not anymore. It is not worth my dad crying over that.
My parents have had shitty lives, really shitty ones. My dad's mom and dad got divorced (on good terms tho), then his dad's next wife was abusive and didn't care for him, and now his dad has his new wife who also wasn't that nice, but better.
My mom's mom got divorced after she was born, then again after her sister was born, and then her next husband killed himself. So I could say I have it much better then them.
I don't know why I feel like this, I have a much better life then others, but I don't know..
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always-andromeda · 2 years ago
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tumblr as eaten TWO of my asks now. this is gonna be a bit all over the place so bear w me hahah
to recap what i’ve sent you:
exactly!! i was so hyped when they figured it out & the rocket finally didn't explode.
re: the october sky festival: oh that's so cool! if you're close by enough, you should totally go to it! i would love to go to it as well but seeing as i’m canadian, tennessee is a bit out of reach for me lol
also! i love listening to other people ramble about the shit they're interested in, so ramble away, my friend!
i was watching lovely and amazing for the first time last night & scrolling my dash at the same time when i came across your post about wanting to watch it, so weird!! but jake in that movie?? you’re so right, he IS diet holden😭 definitely a watered down version, he’s not depressed enough. but he is a loser & i love that. & the hair!! i think he had it black for bubble boy but omg it adds so much to the loser factor for some reason. ik it sounds like i just agree w u on everything, but you have good (& correct👀) takes, so how could i not?? but yeah, the movie itself wasn’t great. however, i could watch a compilation of clips of him in that movie forever🫠 the way he’s staring at michelle when they’re at the bar & she’s talking about her art 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
-🤹
I SWEAR, if tumblr keeps doing this, imma have to walk on down to Mr. Tumblr’s office and give him a piece of my mind. 😤😤😤
(But also lmao thank you for putting up with my rambling, much love and appreciation. 🫶🏻)
See, even though I’m American, I live literally across the country from Tennessee so it’s a bit of a long shot for me too bUT HEY. Maybe that’s a thing that’ll have to go on my bucket list lol.
AND OH MY GOSH, I am loving the random synchronicity we’re experiencing rn with Jake’s movies lol. You’re very right, it 100% isn’t a good movie like at all. bUT JAKE’S CHARACTER IS SO— 🥰 I adore him. Like the way that he is so enthusiastic and encouraging about Michelle’s goofy little art pieces?? And like listen…I adore Jake’s little emo era where his hair is just JET BLACK so seeing him get to be just like this weird little loserboy had me smiling so big. Holden is definitely a bit more unhinged and pessimistic than Jordan is. But like. If I had a nickel for every time Jake Gyllenhaal played a sad little emo guy who wanted to fuck his older coworker, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t many bUT HEY, it’s weird that it’s happened twice!!
ALSO MORE ABOUT THE MOVIE IN GENERAL. I wasn’t a huge fan of Michelle pretty early on just because she had those entitled middle aged white woman vibes and that energy annoys me. But when she hooked up with Jordan (in front of his damn house too I think????) I was so— 😀 And when she got arrested for it?? And then was released?? And the movie plays it off like, “Lmao sometimes you have sex with a minor!! Lmao 🤪 mistakes were made!!!!” I was so. So flabbergasted. That was SUCH a strange choice to make in the story. 😀
Also, fun fact. Learned from the iMDB page that the working title for this movie was SAD BUT TRUE. And that makes me wheeze so hard. I wish they had kept it because HOLY FUCK that is one of the funniest titles I’ve ever heard for a movie. Like, lmao, that moment when you go to jail for statutory rape?? Sad…but true!! 🤘🏻🤪🤘🏻
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originalwinnercheesecake · 2 years ago
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My thoughts on the 4 new sequels Disney Sequels coming out.
Well for one thing I am glad that they are at least all CGI.  3 of those 4 franchises I do not ever want to see live action versions of, and a live action frozen only has the potential to possibly be a little bit cool. ( rule one: do not let M Knight Shamaulon direct it).
But here are my thoughts on them in defending order.
Zootopia 2: Yes please, make a Zootopia 2 and a 3 after that! Judy and Nick are two cutely designed characters, with fun personalities, who at the end of the first one both become investigative cops, who live in a huge metropolises with all different types of animal and multiple different climates and terrains. There so much sequel potential in that set up, and hundreds of years worth of crime history that can be adapted into it.
Here's a thought, since Judy was the POV character in the last one, can Zootopia two be primarily told from Nick's point of view. Maybe a string of crimes starts happening in his old neighborhood and Nick and Judy go to investigate it, and being there stirs up a bunch of old memories for him. Or the the original concept for Zootopia was going to be about Nick opening up a special theme park for predators where they would be able to safely let loose some (originally predators were going to have to wear "taming collars" around prey animals, that shocked them when they got to excited). Maybe the theme park still gets opened by an old friend of Nick's and he and Judy are charged with keeping it safe from Merryweather supporters. Like I said the possibilities are endless.
Inside Out 2. This one has the potentially to be really good, but could also blow. Inside is a really colorful, cute, and thoughtful look at what it's like to be a preteen child struggling with changes. In it Riley moves from her childhood home to a new apartment in a city far away. Riley has a really hard adjustment to her knew area in the beginning. The movers screw up and lose track of her stuff so she cannot make her new room look like home. Her Dad’s forced to start his new job early and mom is swamped trying to sort out the move, so they do no have as much time to spend with her as hey did before. Last she very quickly becomes homesick for her old friends and favorite places. Mom tells Riley that everything will be better once they get things sorted out, so Riley tries to do her parents a favor by burying her feelings and just smiling until everything gets better but that just makes things worse for her and everyone. The movies climax is when she finally admits how hard a time she is having to her parents and asks for comfort.
The imagery in the movie is cool to. with the core memory islands, the shelf of memories that look like brain matter, train of thought, Riley’s imagination, How Joy and Sadness are consistently thwarted for getting back to HQ until the end, because Riley is still suppressing those emotions. Even right down to that annoying gum jingle that keeps getting sent up to HQ, a.k.a stuck in Riley’s head...Basically a lot of time and care; research into stress, depression, and preteen psychology; as well as different animation techniques and metaphors went into showing you as apposed to telling you what Riley was feeling on the inside and the out... This movie went on to be used as an reference for teaching a lot of kids and some older people how to put their feelings into words: ‘Which emotion do you think is at the center of your control panel right now jimmy? Okay what is that emotion concerned with now?”. I also swear remember a college professor/counselor telling me and a group of people once that the reasons Riley’s core emotions were Disgust, Anger, Fear, Sadness, and Joy was that the first four are all the stages you go through before you feel happy again.
Riley was 11 during Inside out and turned 12 at the end... A sequel will probably take place when she is in High school, so like 14-17 years old. So that means she will be dealing with tests, acne, definitely boys, school dances, maybe learning to drive if she is old enough, possibly health class, Unfortunately maybe people making fun of her for liking a traditionally male sport (Hockey). I do not think the movie would age her as far a 18 and going off to college, not in a second movie at least. It probably will not be as cute as 1 because Teenagers are not as cute as kids. Riley aging into a high school student concerns me for another reason. High school is one of the most cliche settings yo can put a movie/show/media piece in. There is very little an audience hasn’t seen 100 times before. Inside Out 2 will work only if Riley and her emotions are able to maintain and expand the level of character they all had in Inside out 1. It will work only if the writers and story board artists can once again show the audience something new and fun, while also being serious when it needs to, heartfelt, and clever. IF it fails at all of that the movie will bomb. If it only does a passably job it will probably still get low ratings and reviews because people are of course going to compare it against the success of the first one. That’s really what makes sequels controversial. Sequels are good when their aim is to raise the bar from the first movie, not just cost on the first’s popularity. We will see which one Inside Out 2 does.
Frozen 3. Speaking of Movie franchises with a really good first movie, then a sequel that just rode the popularity of the first. Frozen one was a really good movie. It was. Ignoring the over saturation of the market afterwards, ignoring how overplayed “Let It Go” and other songs were, Frozen is actually a great movie. The actors are great, the characters funny and likable. The scenery is beautiful, the story is a classic with what was at the time a modern twist (that got repeated in many movies after), and the plot suspenseful. I remember my one critic of it when I saw it in theaters with friends was that I wished they had spaced the songs out a little bit more, because I had noticed that there were a bunch of them in the first half then none in the second half. Then there was Frozen 2. Frozen two’s plot was confusing. It tried to make the audience not want Arendelle to be saved, when the goal of the group setting out was to protect their Kingdom. It could not managed its cast size and just dropped characters midway through the movie until the very end (Hey where did Kristoff go?). Lastly at its core Frozen was about a pair of sisters growing up together and trying to help each other out. The second movie had both girls as adults and ended with them separating. Elsa can control her powers now and for some poorly explained reason decided she would rather live by herself in the woods. Anna and Kristoff got married and were crowned the King and Queen, which means their story is effectively finished and they probably will not be going on adventures anymore. They do have a Kingdom to run. What’s left to do during a third movie?
I know a lot of people would like Elsa to meet a nice women and enter into a queer relationship. While that would be wonderful a.) Pixar’s censors may not be there yet by the time the movie comes out. b.) Writing a women would have chemistry with Elsa, be patient enough to allow her to open up on her own time (she is so shy and introverted), tough enough to handle life in the woods and the occasional flash blizzard, and has the social skills to win over Anna (most defiantly a requirement for dating Elsa) is a really tall order for a character who comes in so late in the franchise. c.) lets say the censors allow it and the writers put in the work to create this absolutely amazing women. That’s still not really enough to fill the 2 hour time slot for the movie, and what would the other characters be doing at this time?    
Toy Story 5. Why? WHY??? It’s finished! That Movie Line is Finished! It’s been finished twice now? There is room for little kitty books and more 2-8 minute shorts on Disney+. IF done right then maybe a season or two long cartoon of Woody an Bo’s gang touring the parks of he world to be played with by kids and helping carnival toys that want to go home with needy children. Buzz and Jessie could show up from time to time when Bonnie’s family vacation in specials. But the movie Franchise is absolutely finished!
From what I saw Toy story 5 is hinted to be about Buzz. Okay Buzz’s arc was finished after Toy story 2. Movies 3 and 4 were super hard-pressed to find ways to include him. While 3′s focus on his crush on Jessie was sweet and his “Spanish mode switch” was really funny; 4′s subplot of him being confused as to what Woody meant by “your inner voice”  only served to anger his fans, who all pointed out how he was never THAT stupid. Is he supposed to be a lead toy now that Woody is gone? Lead toys are a child’s favorite toys right? Bonnie’s favorite toys are Forky, Dolly, and Buttercup (her unicorn). She loves toys that are simple, whimsical, and she gets to decide what roles they take on in her games. While Buzz held her interest longer than Woody (she doesn’t have a female Space Ranger to play with instead) he has never been one of her favorite toys.
The only thing I still want for Buzz is one more 8 minute short similar to Bo’s Lamp life. Show a montase of him with Andy, Bonnie, and a coupleother owners before he becomes an “old, toy” that no longer holds the lasting intrest of small children, so he joins Woody’s band of “lost” or retired toys.
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foone · 1 month ago
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Yeah, Catullus gets censored a lot! I suspect a bit of it is just that we often get this idea of poets and poetry as... Light and fluffy?
Probably just because of what gets taught in schools. You end up getting the impression that a poems are about one of
Being sad
Walking through nature
Being sad whilst walking through nature.
Which is a slightly reductive take on a whole fucking medium.
Anyway, Catullus was less the stereotypical "upper class guy with a lot of education who loves nature and being depressed" sort of poet and is more to the "battle rapper" end of poetry.
He's got multiple poems that are basically diss tracks. This is exactly why Poem 16 (this one) comes straight out the gate with "I AM GOING TO BUTTFUCK AND FACEFUCK YOU" (lowercase letters wouldn't be developed for a few hundred more years, by definition everything Catullus wrote was in ALL UPPERCASE): Catullus is directing this poem at Marcus Furius Bibaculus (Bibaculus to his friends), who had an affair with Juventius: a woman Catullus had a (possibly unrequited) love for. In fact, this sort of reputation is part of what Catullus is saying. He's like "oh, you think I'm some weak pansy faggot because I'm a poet? Let's see how you feel after I shove my huge* manly dick up all your holes, bitch."
Anyway the whole reason I was supposed to be replying is to talk about how Latin is an amazing language to swear in. They've got some very fun words like irrumo, ittumare which means basically "to fuck someone's mouth", but in a single word. Face-fuck is really the best translation English has, and that's two words.
Plus Latin is an infected language! He didn't just say "face fuck", he said the first person singular future active indicative of "face fuck".
Irrumabo is a single word that packs all this info into its infected form. It's not just "what" (face fucking), it's who and when and how.
Who: me, singular. "We" are not going to face fuck you, I, personally, and going to face fuck you.
When: in the future. This is a thing that's going to happen. Latin has multiple moods for this, the indicative, imperative, and subjunctive.
He doesn't use the subjunctive, which'd mean "I hope I facefuck you: it'd be great if someday I get to face fuck you".
He doesn't use the imperative, which is for stating commands. He's not saying "get facefucked, idiot".
He uses the indicative. This is for stating facts. He's saying this as just a thing that will happen. As surely as the sun will rise tomorrow... I will facefuck you.
It's also active not passive, which means it's not "you will be facefucked by me". It's active, meaning it's "I am going to facefuck you".
The word is also derived from the word for teats? As in, it meant something like suckling?
Catullus is saying you're going to suck his cock like a baby feeding from their mother, and he's going to make you do this. This is just a thing that is going to happen.
And he says that all in ONE SINGLE WORD.
Latin is a lovely language for this sort of thing.
(there's also a lot of fascinating stuff about the second line of the poem: he calls Aurelius as pathicus, and Furius a cinaedus. These mean slightly different things! Translating them as "cocksucker" and "butt boy" is definitely one way to do it, but there's more to say about this, but this post is already way too long)
Anyway, while "first poet to ever get his bone on" is highly inaccurate (Sappho was centuries earlier! You think a woman who was so gay she gave us two of our words for WLW didn't BONE?), he definitely was one of the poets who most noticeably Absolutely Fucked and he made sure you knew it.
* he wouldn't have said "huge", this is a localization for our culture. The ancient romans thought big dicks were ugly, unrefined, and comical. (They borrowed this from the ancient greeks, incidentally)
you cant even begin poems with "i will sodomise and facef uck you" anymore. because of woke .
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youre-amazing-say-it · 3 years ago
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Hey girlie when’s the new fic coming, no rush btw xx
IT'S HERE! Sorry for the delay life has been crazy. But im on spring break and very excited to work on some pieces.
Let me know what you guys think. If you want a part 2 or something. Next piece is the drunk peter one.
Just Do It
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WARNINGS: Depression, suicide attempt, mention of drugs, swearing, underage drinking (dont do it kids), angst OMG, fluffy end.
Summary: Based on the Pete Davidson quote " Ive always been suicidal but ive never had the balls"
Pairing: avengers (Steve, Tony, Nat, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Bucky, Scott Peter) x reader
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I hated that I was loved. Life would be so much easier.
It would give me a reason that explains the feeling and thoughts I've had for the past year. But I knew I lived a very fortunate life. I had the best of both worlds, one as a high schooler, the other one as a superhero named Blue Gaze. I thought for a while that if I stopped with my secret identity, life might be better. But it also could become worse, and that was the last thing I wanted. So I just continue to hide under my pain and fears, hiding in the clouded thoughts that fill my head. Reminding me daily that I'm a shitty person, people only care about because of my powers, and nobody would blink an eye at me if I was gone.
And I know when you're feeling like this, you're supposed to talk to someone. but at this point, I don't know what will happen if I talk to someone and I become “better”. it scares the shit out of me. I have kind of become content with my sadness and I don't know what else to do. So I try my best to find different things to distract myself from the feelings.
I'm a junior in high school, going to a local public school. I'm what you call a good kid. I get good grades, don’t stay out late, and was a model student But it all changed around six months ago when I meet my partner Chris. they are the best worst influence I could ask for. They knew and understood my thoughts and knew that I needed a form of escapism. Soon, we were dating and it was a great distraction. They introduced me to marijuana, alcohol, and it was incredible. They made me happy at the moment and not in the long run.
Now here I am, riding up the elevator, at 1 am, to the compound. I had my backpack on, getting a stash of stuff from our friends. I'm staying here this weekend as my parents are out of town. My parents have been concerned about my behavior and well-being for a while now, and even told Tony about their concerns. He tried to talk to me about it, but it only made it worst.
The elevator opened up and I walked into the kitchen. I was out with Chris and their friends and I'm not as drunk as usual, but enough to feel numb. I went to go grab some leftover food in the fridge but before I could even grab the food the door shut and Steve Rodgers had his hand on the fridge. “HEY!” he said, staring at me. If I was sober I would have been scared, but instead, I was given a confidence boost.
“The hell do you want? I'm busy and hungry so get out of my way.” I said as I shoved past his shoulder, going to grab an apple from the fruit bowl but a hand dragged it away. Tony looked at me, with fear and anger in his eyes.
“We have been calling and texting you all night. No answers, no nothing. Hell, you managed to even bypass my security and turn off your location. Mind tell us where the FUCK you have been?” Tony said, gesturing to the mighty heroes behind him. I didn’t even register walking in how many people were in the room. Sam and Bucky were behind the couch, Nat and Scott were sitting on it. Adjacent to them was Wanda and Vision, on the opposite couch, with Bruce standing behind them. But what surprised me the most was Peter standing next to Bruce, eyes red and puffy.
“You don’t need to know everything I do. You aren't my parents, you guys don't own me. I'm allowed to have a fucking life.” I said, annoyed, looking at them.
“We are your parents for this weekend,” said Steve, turning my attention back to him. “You're staying here, therefore you are our responsibility. So let me ask this again. where have you been?” I could tell where this conversation was going, and I didn’t want to deal with it.
“I was out with friends. I'm going to bed.” I said, looking at the team as I walked away.
“Like hell, you're not!” I heard Sam yell behind me. I slowly turn around. “we're going to discuss this. You don't get to walk in here at 1:00 AM smelling like weed and crappy beer, expecting to get out of it.” Sam tells me as he walked closer to me. Before he got too close, Scott appeared next to him.
“What Sam is trying to say is that we're just concerned about you,” Scott said, looking at me like I was a lost dog. “You've been hanging with the wrong crowd, pushing people away. We just want to know what going on. We care about you Y/n.” he walks closer to me, trying to hug me but I step to the side to avoid the interaction.
“Oh cut the crap guys. You don't care about me, you only care about Blue Gaze. You only work with Blue Gaze. Our relationship starts and ends with my mask. You guys couldn’t give two shits about my life." I was annoyed at this point. I had plans for the rest of the night but now they want to talk about my feelings? Fuck no.
"What makes you think that? We care about you. I care about you Y/n” Peter states. I couldn't look at him. He was my best friend, the one I feel closest with out of the bunch. But I haven't spoken to him in a while. Now that they see me as someone who needs help, they are being nice to me now. I hated it. It made me feel angry.
"You don't care about me! All you see is a damsel in distress and you want to save me. But I’m fine.” I said as I heard my voice crack. I could tell they could hear it too. Nat starts talking to me in her motherly voice.
“We just want to help you Y/n. Tell us how we can help” she said. I felt this anger and frustration starting to build up inside me and I felt I was about to break.
“You wanna help me? Fine! Go get a gun and shoot me 'cause I can't bring myself to do it.” I yell as I burst. I looked at my co-workers and they were silent. They couldn’t believe I said that. I couldn’t believe I said that. In fact, I was pissed I said.
"What did you just say?" Bucky asked. I looked at him and I felt fury within me. I didn’t want to say it in the first place but now I have to say it again.
“I'm sorry, Does the Super soldier with super hearing need me to repeat myself? I said I want someone to kill me. It's not that hard, especially for you.” I said. As soon as I said that last part, I knew it was a low blow. But I was in too deep, plus I had a lot to express.
“Y/N! Why the hell would you say that?” Steve said, storming over towards me.
“Why not? It's the truth, and you guys want me to be truthful, don't you? You want me to tell you how I feel. Well, I want to die and Bucky has killed people without any guilt. So I know he can do it so I want him to do it.” I see tears form in the soldier's eyes as he storms out. Sam comes towards me, fire in his eye.
"I don't give two shits about what you're feeling right now, that was incredibly uncalled for.” He shouts before leaving to find Bucky.
“Fine! If he won't do it, how about you Nat?” I said as I make my way to her. “Red room assassin? Go get a gun and kill me. It would solve everyone’s problems, so Just do it!” I scream in her face as I feel us get farther apart from each other. Steve and Scott are pulling me back, as I see Clint get Nat and lead her out of the room. Everyone just continued to stare at me, waiting to see what I would say next. I didn’t even notice the tears coming down my face until Scott pulled me out of my head.
"Hey Kiddo," he said, wiping the tears off my face with his thumb. I looked at him with tearfilled eyes. "Do you want to talk?" i shrugged my shoulders. My heart was telling me to open up because they care, but my head was telling me to run away and avoid talking about it.
“Come here,” he said, walking us over to the couch. I sat down and looked at the floor. Steve sat next to me with Scott on the other side, Peter and Tony on the other couch with Bruce behind them. “What going on Y/n?” Steve said. I couldn't look at him, I couldn't look at anyone. I wanted to hold back but I also knew it would be helpful to talk about it. “Take your time,” he said, putting his arm around me. He brought me into a side hug. I could tell he wanted to do it for comfort, but it was mainly a way to hold me in place so I don’t lash out again. I let out a shaky breath before speaking.
“I want to die but I can't. I have tried multiple times. I've been so close to pulling the trigger, swallowing the pills, or jumping off the ledge. But I think about you guys or my family finding me and I can't bring myself to do it” I say, continuing to look at the floor. I haven’t told anyone this and I know it wouldn’t be the last. "But just because I can't do it, doesn’t make the thoughts and feelings go away.” It was quiet, everyone was waiting for me to say something but I don’t know what else to say. Peter was one of the first ones to speak.
“Why would you want to die? You are a hero, everyone adores you.” Peter said. I looked at him and he hasn’t stopped crying, but they were more silent tears.
“Blue Gaze is a hero, that’s who people love! Nobody cares about a random high schooler.”
“We care about you Y/n, so much,” Scott said, holding hand, caressing it with his thumb.
“No, you don’t!” I start to stand up but Steve's tight hold of me keeps me on the couch. I take a few breathes, to keep myself grounded, so I don’t say something I'll regret.
"Kiddo, we care about you a whole lot. I care about you. But you are scaring me with the way you have been acting. I don't want you to go down the road I was on." Tony said. I knew it meant a lot for him to say that, he doesn't talk about his past a lot. I didn’t even realize Bruce coming over to sit in front.
“Y/n, I need you to be honest with me. I know it will be hard but you have to if you want us to help.” Bruce lifts my chin so I'm forced to look at him. My eyes were full of tears and regret. “Do you think you can do that?” he said, looking at me.
I look around and see my coworkers, or family, waiting for my response. Could I do it? Could I be honest? I want to, but I don’t know what will happen next. Will they send me away? Will I no longer be an avenger? I’ve been holding onto this part of my life for too long, and it's been eating away at me day by day. Maybe it’s time to finally let go. I took a breathe before responding
“Yeah, I'm ready to get help. I'm ready to be honest”
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A/N: Ahhh! what do you guys think? please let me know!
Tags: @winter-soldier-vibes @angeldreifics @luvhann @xennityxen
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the-bau-quinjet · 4 years ago
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Seven Drinks
Bucky x f!reader
Summary: There's a reason Y/N has never had more than 3 drinks around the other avengers, and they're about to find out.
Warnings: depression, thoughts of suicide, panic attacks, angst (don't worry there's fluff too)
Word Count: 4322
a/n: This is inspired by that episode of Brooklyn 99 with 6 drink Amy (I adopted that concept!) and also Halsey's album Manic. :) I hope you like it. Anything in bold is a lyric from one of the songs on the album!
Please let me know if I messed up the trigger warning tags! I've never written anything like this before, so I just want to make sure I do it right.
Masterlist
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"We're having a party tonight." Tony's announcement was met with the usual groans of annoyance at having to schmooze with the typical socialites that attended Tony's party. "You know, you are so ungrateful sometimes. here I am trying to throw you a party, and you're complaining!"
"Tony, we all appreciate the effort you go to, but- at least speaking for me- I don't like people." Y/N's response was effortless, swiftly calming Tony and explaining the reactions.
"That is why-" Tony stuttered when he actually registered the words you said. "That doesn't sound like you at all. And besides, this is a party for just us. It'll be more like team building, but without any pre-planned activities. No "smarmy, rich people" to deal with." He directed his last sentence at Bucky, Steve, and Sam.
The team actually seemed excited at the prospect, albeit skeptical of Tony's motivations.
Unsurprisingly, Nat worked up the courage to question him on it first, "what's the catch?"
"No catch. Just friends, food, and lots of alcohol." His grin quickly shifted into a smirk as the entire room turned to look at you.
You groaned slightly, not wanting all the attention. "Look, there is a reason I cap myself at 3 drinks." Holding up one finger, you started to explain, "One drink Y/N is barely any different from my sober self."
Wanda quickly cut you off, "not true! You get louder." She smirked, happy to have added that tidbit of information.
"Fine." With a laugh, you admitted she was right. "I might get the tiniest bit louder." You held up a second finger to continue your explanation, but were once again cut off.
"It's not a bad thing. It's just your happy, bubbly, and slightly louder than normal personality shining through!" Nat added, seeing an opportunity to tease you for being so positive all the time.
"Thanks Nat. Anyway," emphasizing the rudeness of being interrupted twice, you continued, "two drink Y/N is more touchy feely than normal. Not in a creepy way though!"
"I love two drink Y/N. She gives the best hugs!" Thor eagerly added to the conversation, glad to have dropped by when he did.
"Thanks Thor." With a small smile in his direction, you held up a third finger. "Three drink Y/N is the perfect amount of just past tipsy to have fun without doing anything extremely embarrassing. It makes the most sense to stop there." You finished her little speech with your typical smile and a resolute nod of your head.
"Seriously, you need to relax. Just let loose this one time!" Sam tried to encourage you. With the eyes of nearly every avenger set on you, your resolve didn't last very long.
"Fine! Maybe I'll have a fourth drink." You were met with cheers as you rose from your spot on the couch, trying to prepare for the night that was to come.
--
As soon as you stepped off the elevator, you had a drink in your hand. Clearly your friends were going to make sure you got a fourth drink. even Steve seemed excited when he saw you, although his golden boy personality didn't disappear completely.
"You sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured!" Bucky nodded, weirdly enthusiastically, before adding, "Yeah doll, don't drink more than you want to."
"You two are too sweet. Sam's right, but don't tell him I said that." You winked at the two super soldiers, emphasizing the joke. "I should let myself relax sometimes. I'm in a safe place, with friends who won't let anything happen to me. What could a few more drinks really do?" You couldn't help but smile at how true that was. You were surrounded by people who care about you.
"Oh, so now it's a few more drinks? What are we talking here, six drink Y/N? Seven?" Bucky teased.
"You'll have to wait and see, Ducky." You teased right back, knowing how flustered he got at the pet name. Steve laughed at his friend as you walked away, ready for your second drink.
--
Before long, you had your fourth drink in your hand. It was slightly odd how literally everyone was staring at you, but your were three drink Y/N at the time, so you were drunk enough not to care.
You downed the fourth drink, unprepared for the consequences.
"So, Y/N... how do you feel?" Clint braved the waters, everyone eagerly awaiting your reaction.
"That is so nice of you to ask! I feel great! I don't think I've ever been this happy." You jumped up and down, hugging Clint with a huge smile on your face.
"How did you get even happier?" Tony chuckled, shaking his head slightly.
"Do you not like it?" Like a switch had been flipped, you were nearly crying.
"What?! No!" Tony was so taken aback at the tears pooling in your eyes, he froze, unsure how to fix it. He looked around the room for help, but everyone else was just as shocked as him.
"I'll fix it!" You were at the bar, fixing another drink before anyone fully comprehended your mood swing.
You walked back up to the group, sipping from your fifth drink as if nothing happened. "What?" You questioned the odd looks, but before receiving an answer you squealed, again jumping up and down. "Let's dance!" You turned around, ready to move to the more open area before looking back over your shoulder, "Wanda! Nat! Pepper! Come on!"
The women shared a look, ultimately shrugging before joining you on the makeshift dance floor.
-
"Bucky, you've been staring at her for 20 straight minutes. When are you finally gonna talk to her?" Steve couldn't help but pester him about his feelings.
"I can't help it. I've never seen her dance so much. I mean, I know she's always happy, but this is a whole new level." He didn't take his eyes off of you, even when he was responding. "I can't tell her tonight, though. This is the most she's had to drink in years."
He watched as you moved back over to the bar, needing another drink after dancing so much.
"Here we go, six drink Y/N." Bucky gestured to the bar. Steve shook his head, but allowed the change of topic.
-
About five minutes after your sixth drink, you were somehow bounding around with even more energy. You were nearly running around the room, trying to talk to everyone at once.
"Ducky! Have I ever told you I took gymnastics lessons for 7 years when I was younger?" You were bouncing with pent up energy, excited to be sharing more information about yourself.
"No, you've actually never mentioned that." He smiled, enraptured by your childlike enthusiasm, so enraptured that he didn't notice the mischief in your eyes.
"Well, I did! Watch this." You handed a confused Bucky your now empty glass, turning and throwing your arms up. Bucky realized two late what was happening, and with both yours and his glasses in his hands, he couldn't physically stop you.
"Y/N, wait!" His shout had everyone turn and look as you flawlessly executed two cartwheels in a row.
Bucky would swear your smile got even bigger as you turned around to look at him again.
"Normally I can do more, but" you hiccuped, then lowered your voice to a really terrible whisper, "I'm a little drunk." You leaned into him, laughing as if you just told a joke.
Wanda walked up to you with a seventh drink, hoping seven drink Y/N had a little less energy, but happy to see you having so much fun. "Here ya go! One more of your favorites, just like you asked."
"Thank youuuuuu!" You shifted to hug Wanda, leaving Bucky to miss your added warmth.
-
You sipped your seventh drink slower than the rest, quickly running out of energy. Sliding the empty glass across the bar, you slipped out of the party unnoticed, making your way to the kitchen for some pickles- your favorite drunk food.
Your seventh drink hit you just after you opened the pickles. Gone was the happy, bubbly persona you showed the world. The mask slipped away, leaving you alone to contemplate your life choices.
You made your way to to the lounge just outside of the kitchen, choosing to lay on the floor behind the couch and stare out of the large floor to ceiling windows.
-
"Where's Y/N?" Bucky glanced around the room, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.
"Huh? Oh, she said she wanted a snack." A very drunk Wanda turned to look at where the food was set up, scrunching her face in confusion when she couldn't find you. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom?"
Bucky, having noticed your absence 8 minutes ago, didn't think you left for a bathroom break. "Maybe." Plus, you always took the girls to the bathroom with you. His eyes flitted about the room, taking one more glance before deciding to go look for you.
He decided to head for the kitchen since Wanda said you wanted a snack. He laughed at the open jar of pickles, knowing you at least passed through this room. He put the pickles away before popping his head into the lounge area.
"Y/N?" He called out, figuring this was the most likely location for you to end up.
You hummed in response, not moving from your spot on the floor. Bucky walked further into the room, slightly confused as to why he could hear you but not see you. That is, until he realized you were laying on the floor behind the couch.
"Why are you on the floor?" He smiled when he found you.
"I'm just looking at the sky." Your voice held a melancholy air as it floated through the room. Bucky's smile faltered, not used to hearing you sad. In the three years he's known you, he's only ever seen you sad because of a movie or tv show. Otherwise, you were quite literally always happy.
"Why-" he faltered, unsure how to check on you. "Is everything okay?" he nearly choked the words out, feeling slightly stressed at your sudden gloominess.
"Yeah." You took a deep breath, slowly letting it out in a deep sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I don't know." You sigh again, still looking at the sky.
Bucky chances another question, wanting to get you talking since you're acting so off. "How are you feeling?"
"I feel... so sorry." You words were so soft that Bucky could barely hear them.
"Sorry?" He tried to hide his confusion, matching your soft tone as he sat down a few feet away from you. "About what doll?"
"Just... because I feel so sad." Tears pooled in your eyes, but you didn't stop staring at the sky.
"What are you sad about?" It's taking everything in him for Bucky not to hold you right now. He doesn't want to make you even more upset, especially because he's never seen you like this.
"No one around me knows who I am..." He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek, shining in the light from the moon.
Bucky moves closer, just close enough for him to reach out and hold your hand. You squeeze it, instant relief flooding through him that he hasn't crossed any boundaries.
He goes to speak, but you cut him off. "I'm not breaking. I won't take it. And I won't ever feel this way again." Your voice is harder, as if your angry with yourself.
"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay to have feelings. You're allowed to feel like this. Don't push it away. Talk to me. Why don't you think anyone knows who you are? We're all here for you, Y/N." He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, trying to convey how serious he is.
You let out a dry laugh, wiping the the tears from your cheek. "My self preservation..." Bucky can tell there's more to, choosing to wait for you to continue. "All of my reservations..." You sigh again, sitting up, you scoot closer until you can lean your forehead against his shoulder. "I bottle it up. I'm my own biggest enemy." You let out another dry laugh, shaking your head without moving it from its resting place on Bucky's shoulder.
Bucky wraps his arm around you and leans his cheek against your head. "Take your time. You can talk to me." He whispered, trying to keep you talking without getting mad at yourself again.
"Well, I'd like to tell you that my sky is not blue, it's violent rain." The sounds of your sniffles break his heart. "I just pretend everything's fine because that's what I had to do when I was younger." Rather then interrupting, Bucky continues to rub small circles on your hand and your back, encouraging you to continue when you're ready. "Can I tell you a story? I... I think it'll help explain some of it."
"Of course. Anything you need, doll." He curses himself for the pet name, not wanting you to think he's joking. He just can't help it when it comes to you.
"Thank you, ducky." You chuckle, but your words are just as sincere as his. "You know I have two sisters, and I love them with all my heart, but sometimes growing up with them was hard. My older sister, she put so much pressure on herself to succeed. And, she did. She was so good at everything she did, that I felt like I had to be just as perfect.
With my younger sister, it was like it was effortless. She put just as much, if not more pressure on herself. but, she could do anything she tried to, with almost no learning curve. I always felt this crazy amount of pressure to be just as good.
My parents, they didn't really help with that. I mean, they were so supportive and I'm so grateful to them, but it was a lot of pressure. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I wanted to get an internship. Ya know, to get some experience. It would set me up better for getting a job after graduation.
I spent months looking and applying, but nothing was working out. So, I went home for the summer. My mom would come home everyday and ask me if I got a job yet.
I spent nearly every waking hour looking for a job, even just a part time one for the summer. So one day, when we sat down for dinner and she asked if I got a job yet..."
Bucky could feel how tense you were telling this story, but he knew you needed to get it out.
"I told her, 'no, not yet' and she just seemed so disappointed. She asked if I was even applying and I snapped.
I yelled at her, something that had never really happened before. I told her I was trying. I was doing everything I could. She yelled at me for yelling and said it wasn't unreasonable to ask for updates.
I yelled right back. I kept saying I spend all day everyday trying and just when I finally get a break, she walks in and brings it all up again. I was stressed enough without her constant reminders.
I ended up running away from the table, in tears. I hid in the bathroom, there... there was a pair of scissors on the counter and I really thought about killing myself that day."
The tears are pouring out of you at this point. Bucky threw caution to the wind. He picked you up, maneuvering you to sit across his lap and lean your head on his chest. He kept rubbing circles into your back, murmuring words of encouragement.
"My younger sister tried to check on me, but I wouldn't open the door. My mom stomped down the hallway to her bedroom. I was full on having a panic attack in the hallway bathroom. I think I stayed in there for an hour before I went back to the dinner table.
My dad was in the kitchen. He put my plate in the microwave to heat up dinner for me. I ate through near constant tears, it only got worse every time he tried to ask me what happened. Why I snapped like that.
I wanted to apologize to my mom for yelling, so after I ate I went to her room. I knocked, and when she told me to come in I opened the door. I just remember her looking so angry.
I apologized. I told her I was sorry for yelling. She said something about not being unreasonable again. I cried again. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was scared.
I couldn't put it into words though, so when she asked me 'of what?' I just shrugged. Then, she asked me if I was on my period.
God. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her again, To make her understand 'I only wanna die some days. But if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?' I decided that day that I would never try to tell anyone how I actually felt."
Bucky holds you as you cry. You're not sure how long it's been when you can finally breathe enough to talk again.
"I just, so many people have bigger problems then me. I grew up in a loving household. I went to college and made friends. I got a job after I graduated. So why am I so sad sometimes? I just wanna scream but what’s the use? At night, I lay awake and I stare at the door, I just can’t take it no more."
Bucky continues comforting you when he speaks again. "Just because other people have problems, doesn't mean yours are irrelevant. You are 100% allowed to feel however you feel, even if it seems like there's no reason for it. Have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this? I know you just said you haven't told anyone how you actually feel for years, but I think it could help." He smiled nervously when you raised your head to look at him.
"I have actually. I joked about it a lot with my roommate right out of college. I always used to say 'everybody needs therapy' as a joke. Of course, I meant it. Most people probably do need therapy." You laughed, moving your arms around Bucky's neck to hug him. "Thank you for listening to me. I like talking to you."
Of course, Bucky noticed your smile didn't reach your eyes. He was confident in his words when he spoke again. "You can always talk to me. I'll always be there to listen." He followed that with a less confident "What's been bothering you today?"
"Oh, nothing that serious. It's just all pent up inside, ya know?" You smiled again, hiding your face so he couldn't see your lies.
Of course, he could still hear it in your voice. "Y/N, you can tell me. I want to be here for you."
"I... It's just, my insecurities are hurting me." You laughed at yourself. "Here we go with the fucking riddles, again. On the plus side, I think I've cried so much I'm back to one drink Y/N."
"Well, it has been 3 hours since I left to come find you." You were grateful for Bucky's joke, needing something to lift the mood a bit. "But, don't try and change the subject. I still want to know what's got you all sad." His words were light, but you knew how serious he was.
You took a deep breath, burying your head in his neck. "How could somebody ever love me?" You spoke into his shirt, not moving your head back even an inch.
"You know I can't understand you when you talk into my neck like that." Bucky tried joking, but even he knew it would do little to calm your fears.
You moved back, lips still grazing his skin when you repeated yourself, "how could somebody ever love me?"
Bucky wanted to scream. He wanted to tell you how much he loves you. He would gladly spend every day of his life loving you, but he didn't think this was the right time. Not when you just poured your heart out to him. So he settled for the almost truth.
"Anyone would be lucky to love you. You are selfless. You put everyone else first, no matter what. You always make sure everyone has a reason to smile, even when things aren't going right. You tell the best jokes. You're great at cuddling." He squeezes you closer to him, emphasizing the point. "You are beautiful, inside and out. Everyone who comes into contact with you automatically has a better day. You are incredibly strong and independent. I've never met anyone so incredibly good. Even Steve. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."
His words brought more tears to your eyes, pooling in the corners. "Then how come everyone that I’ve dated says they hate it cause they don’t know what to do with me? I feel broken."
"They were all idiots. You're not broken. Not even a little bit. You're learning how to express your feelings. You just need someone who would take it slow." He pressed a kiss to your forehead, struggling not to tell you everything.
"I wonder if you’d take it slow." Your eyes go wide when that slips out. You hadn't meant to make things uncomfortable. One look at Bucky's face has you freaking out. He looks stunned. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out! Oh god, you've been there for me all night and I go and fuck it up by admitting I'm in love with you."
Your eyes grow even larger. You would move out of his lap, but his arms are still holding you in place. "Shit! Maybe I'm still drunk because apparently I have no filter." You say the last part more to yourself, but he can still hear you.
"Y/N?" Your name comes out of his mouth in a soft whisper.
"Yes?" You cringe internally at messing everything up.
"I would take it slow." He smiles, leaning his forehead against yours while he waits for you to absorb his words.
"Yeah?" You whisper back, a smile ghosting your lips.
"Yeah." You both lean in, exchanging soft, slow kisses and sleepy smiles.
--
The two of you ended up falling asleep leaning against the back of the couch. The sun streaming through the windows, combined with the noise of the other avengers in the kitchen, wakes you up.
You nudge Bucky, grinning when he pulls you closer.
"C'mon. Let's get some breakfast." He groans again, but eventually stands up.
The two of you walk into the nearly full kitchen, surprising everyone by coming from the lounge rather than the elevators. They share amused expressions, unaware of the emotional hurdles you jumped last night.
You head right for Sam, hugging him tightly before moving on to hug everyone else.
"I just wanted to thank you all. For encouraging me to live a little last night, but also for being there for me." Tears spring to your eyes again, shocking everyone but Bucky. "You're all like a family to me and I'm so glad I have you all to lean on." You made your way back to Bucky, leaning into his side while he poured both of you some cereal.
You smile when you look at him, kissing his cheek before sliding into the stool next to his.
As if broken out of a day dream, Sam sputters out a question. "What the hell did seven drink Y/N do last night?" Thrown off both by your behaviour with Bucky and the short emotional speech.
"Oh, seven drink Y/N is an emotional little bitch. I think I cried eight years of suppressed tears." You laughed, grinning at Bucky when he squeezed your hand. "Also, I think I need a therapist." Your casual admission has Tony spitting out his breakfast.
"What the hell happened last night after you disappeared from the party?" He guffaws, trying to put the pieces together.
"Also, why aren't you even a little bit hungover?" Nat chimed in, upset at missing out on seeing you anything but cheery.
"Well, to answer Nat first, I don't get hungover. Never have, even the one time I blackout out." You shrugged at everyone's slightly jealous expressions. "To answer Tony, I had an emotional breakthrough. Bucky helped me talk through it, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Long story short, i'm going to learn how to share my feelings instead of suppressing them all."
"Suppressing them? What are you talking about? I've literally never felt anything but happiness from you before?" Wanda questioned the new development.
"Well, that's because I'm really good at hiding how I feel. I'd rather not go through it all again, so just watch the security footage from the lounge last night, yeah? I want you all to know, even if it took seven drink Y/N to share it." You quickly finished eating, pulling Bucky to the doorway.
"While you do that, we're going out. Bye!" Before they could question anything else, you ran to the elevator, dragging a very willing Bucky behind you.
"We're going out?" He questioned when the elevator doors shut.
"Yep. Get dressed, I want to see all your favorite places in New York. Even if they're different now. Take me to all your favorite spots." You both smiled, sharing another soft kiss before parting to change for the day.
"Hey," Bucky called, causing you to turn over your shoulder, "I love you."
"I love you too."
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honeypiehotchner · 4 years ago
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My Deep Blue Love (Tom Hiddleston x Fem!Reader) -- Soulmate AU one shot
This was 100% born out of boredom and loneliness and those damn Soulmate AU POV Tiktoks that I have seen practically 24/7 for the past WEEK on my fyp
(I’m not sure if I’ll do a part 2, rn I have no plans for it)
quick note on the technicality of this one: you lose all ability to see colors when you turn 12 and you don’t regain the ability until you meet your soulmate. but! you have to meet them in person and it has to be a mutual eye contact. pictures/videos of them don’t work, and if you just saw the back of their head or something in person, that doesn’t work either. it’s all about the shared eye contact babeyyy
small disclaimer: Brie Larson is mentioned in here and she has a wife, but that is very much only in this fic, and as far as i know Brie doesn’t have a wife irl lol (i also don’t know if she’s spoken about her sexuality at all so what i’m saying is take it with a grain of salt ok)
Summary: Everyone around you is meeting their soulmate, but you still see in black and white. You’re ready to give up, and basically have, when you lock eyes with your soulmate.
Warnings: None! Just a bit of angst, lots of fluff toward the end 
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You knock on your mom’s bedroom door at 4:58am. She’s already awake, sitting up in bed, ushering you over.
With tears in your eyes, you crawl onto her bed, snuggling close to her chest.
“I don’t want to lose my colors,” you whimper.
“I know, baby,” she whispers, kissing the top of your head. “It’s okay.”
You were born 12 years ago on this day at 5:08am, so in a few short minutes, when you officially turn 12 years old, all color will drain from your life.
Or the colors could stay, but that’s only if you’ve somehow already met your soulmate. And that’s rare, nearly impossible.
You squeeze your eyes shut at 5:07 and you don’t open them again until 5:10.
The colors are gone.
+++
twenty years later
You sigh heavily as you receive yet another wedding invite. You are invited to witness the official beginning of Olivia and Jeffrey’s lives together as husband and wife, soulmates for all of time.
The glitter sticks to your fingertips, tiny black dots against your skin. Your friend told you it’s gold. You barely remember what that looks like.
Lately it seems like everyone has been meeting their soulmate. Just yesterday, you were having coffee with a friend when she looked up at the girl sitting behind you, and boom.
“It’s like the world just exploded,” she had said. Colors were everywhere. She immediately left you to go talk to the girl.
You don’t blame her for that. If you had met your soulmate, you probably would’ve done the same thing. But you can’t say for sure because you don’t know.
You wouldn’t be so cynical of it all if your boyfriend of five years didn’t meet his soulmate while the two of you were out at dinner. You wish you could say that he was faking it. But it was clear from his face (and the girl’s) that he wasn’t kidding. It was real. He had met his soulmate, and it wasn’t you.
It’s never you.
You’ve had guys cut off dates before they even start, all because they didn’t see colors when they laid their eyes on you. They refuse to even be friends with you.
All anyone is doing anymore is searching for a soulmate and it’s exhausting when none of them are yours. When all of your friends see color now. When everyone assures you that it’ll happen soon. What does soon even mean?
You grab your ice cream from the freezer and fall onto the couch, flicking to whatever channel has late night shows that aren’t complete garbage.
As usual, you find yourself watching a talk show, and tonight Tom Hiddleston is one of the guests.
You’re sort of familiar with him from a few movies, but other than that, you hardly know anything about him.
“So, Tom, we’ve all been wondering what’s going on with you and Brie Larson?”
“Brie?” Tom asks, clearly shocked to hear this question. “We’re just good friends, that’s all.”
“Oh, she doesn’t make you see any colors?”
“Ah, no, actually, she does not,” Tom chuckles, but doesn’t sound sad at all, surprisingly. “Her wife does that for her, not me, I’m afraid.”
“Oh really?” The host brushes past the mention of Brie’s wife and keeps the focus on Tom, of course. “So is that true, you still don’t see color?”
Your ears perk up at the mention of someone else not seeing in color. It’s rare for anyone to talk about this on television. Most celebrities don’t talk about whether or not they’ve found their soulmate, but more often than not, those that have are quite loud about it.
“Yes, that’s true,” Tom answers. “I still see the world in a lovely black and white.”
You snort, harshly jabbing your spoon into your ice cream. Lovely. Yeah, right.
“Do you really think it’s nice? Do you not miss the colors?” The host asks.
“No, no, I do. I do,” Tom admits. “But I like to think I’ll see them when the time is right.”
You groan, going to Google to look up his age. And when you see he’s 40, you groan even louder. He’s older than you and he still hasn’t met his soulmate. That’s just depressing. How can he sound so optimistic?
“Alright, well, if there’s one thing you wish you could tell your soulmate, what would it be? Maybe they’re watching right now, you never know.”
Tom smiles wide. “Maybe, maybe, um… Oh, so many things,” Tom exhales deeply. “I guess I could be cliché and say I can’t wait to meet them and wait for me, but I think I want to say… I think I want to say I understand. It is frustrating, still seeing in black and white, but our paths will cross soon, I’m sure of it. Until then, my eyes are blue.”
Blue. Blue.
You roll your eyes. You don’t even remember what the color looks like.
+++
seven months later
“I am not going to a movie premiere. You’re insane!”
“Please!” Your friend, Catherine, cries. “You’ll love it, I swear.”
You glare at her over your coffee. “That just makes it sound like you have a trick up your sleeve.”
“I don’t,” she says. “I just want you to take advantage of this and come with us! When will you ever have the chance to go to a movie premiere again?”
She has a point. Dammit. “Touché. How did you get tickets, anyway? Please tell me you didn’t spend thousands for this.” You wouldn’t put it past her, even though you tell her not to every time before she does something like this.
“God, no, Joe surprised me with them earlier. He said he went to school with the lead.”
“Oh. Cool. Who?”
“Tom Hiddleston, I think. Have you heard of him? He’s British, but that’s about all I know. Joe just said they ran into each other the other day and reconnected.”
You stop halfway through a sip of coffee, careful to not choke on it. Slowly, you nod. “Yeah. I...I’ve seen him in a couple things.”
“Apparently, he hasn’t met his soulmate either…” Catherine trails away, raising her eyebrows at you.
You roll your eyes. “I heard,” you set your cup down. “He’s probably met them by now though since he blasted it on television like that.”
“Or he’s still searching and you’re still being too cynical.”
“You’re probably right,” you chuckle.
“Sooo, you’ll come?”
You sigh heavily. “As long as you help me pick something to wear.”
+++
“I’m regretting letting you talk me into this already,” you mutter when you nearly trip in your heels.
“Oh, hush,” Catherine swats your arm. “It’s an excuse to get dressed up and look hot for no reason. Take it.”
“Fine.”
Catherine’s soulmate, Joe, was whisked away almost as soon as the three of you stepped inside the venue by some director (you think), but he promised to return in a few minutes. Catherine told him not to worry. She’s used to him being dragged away for conversation. You can see from her face that she’s more proud of him than anything, and not at all annoyed.
Currently, you and Catherine are standing near the small bar, waiting for them to announce that it’s time to take your seats. You desperately want a drink, but part of you knows it would be a bad idea.
One glass of wine can’t hurt, though. Maybe it’ll take your mind off the pain in your feet.
You peel away from Catherine when you see Joe coming back, and you flag the bartender down quickly.
After ordering a glass of white wine, you wait patiently, wishing you had chosen a dress with sleeves. It’s fucking cold in here.
“Darling, you’re shivering, are you alright?”
Your head turns toward the smooth voice, face set and mind trying to decipher whether or not it was a sincere or creepy comment when the world quite literally explodes.
There, standing beside you, concern written all over his face, is Tom Hiddleston. Only now the concern has washed away into awe when your eyes lock with his.
“Oh my god,” he whispers, stumbling even though he’s standing in place.
“Blue,” you murmur. “Your eyes are blue.” Without even thinking or asking, your hand lifts to cup his cheek, and then you pull back, “Shit, sorry—”
But he grabs your wrist gently, placing your palm on his cheek. “It’s alright.” His thumb strokes the back of your hand. “I have been looking everywhere for you.”
“I thought you didn’t exist,” you whisper in reply. But here he is. His eyes are blue, his lips are pink, he has tiny brown freckles all over his rosy cheeks. You look back to his eyes, narrowing your own. “You liar. Your eyes have green in them, too.”
“Do they really?” Tom chuckles. “I never would’ve known.”
“That’s why you have me,” you tease, and you don’t know where any of this is coming from, yet it doesn’t feel like you’re pretending. It feels like you’re finally yourself.
His other hand tangles with yours as he nods. “That’s why I have you, indeed.”
At this time, the lights in the theatre begin lightly flashing, signaling that it’s time for everyone to begin making their way to their seats.
But neither you or Tom move one inch.
The only issue is people are beginning to stare.
You notice it first, so you slowly pull your hand from his cheek. This movement shocks him back to reality, too, and he blinks a few times, yet he doesn’t let go of your hand.
“I, um, I have to make a speech,” he says. “But then I can come back to you. Will you save me a seat?”
“Don’t you have to sit up front?”
He nods. “I do, but—”
“Then I’ll come with you.” You aren’t sure if it’s the fact that he hasn’t let go of your hand yet, or if it’s because you’ve been waiting so long that now you don’t want him to be further than an arms length away from you, but you mean what you say.
“Are you sure?” He asks, but you both need to make a decision quickly because you can see someone waving from the wings, most likely trying to get Tom’s attention.
“I’m sure.”
He doesn’t question it, in fact, he grins, and brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “Let’s go, then.”
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notanotherreidgirl · 3 years ago
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so i haven’t been feeling very well lately, and just thinking about spencer comforting me brings me so much joy. so basically what i’m asking is to use your wonderful writing skills to make a fluff masterpiece of spencer comforting reader in anyway. depression would be preferred, but any thing is great!
btw, i love your page sm, hands down fave<33
My dearest anon, I'm sorry you haven't been feeling very well. I don't know if this counts as a fluff masterpiece but I hope it cheers you up. Also, I'd like to recommend Favorite Person by @imagining-in-the-margins and Heavy Words for a Glass Heart by @reidscanehand for some fics where Spencer comforts Reader. Also, the song that I loosely based this on is Alexandria - Slowed by Jessi Blue and I always listen to it when I'm feeling a little blue
wc: 540
Warnings: it's a little sad, mental illness
Your heart seized at the sound of Spencer’s key turning in the lock and you quickly wiped away the tears on your face. A useless attempt at trying to fool a seasoned FBI profiler. You caught sight of your reflection in the dark TV screen and you felt a fresh wave of tears prick your eyes - messy hair, red-rimmed eyes, tear-stained cheeks. The guilt bubbled up in your throat - now Spencer had to come home from facing some of the deepest horrors humanity has to offer only to find you in a heap on the couch. Somewhat frantically, you tossed the tissues strewn on the coffee table and smoothed down your hair before he stepped into the living room.
“What’s wrong, baby?” So much for fooling him.
“Nothing, I don’t know. I-I’m just having a bad day, you know?” It was harder to admit than you expected and you almost hid under the blankets after your confession but the look on his face stopped you.
“I know.” And he did. He knew. Wordlessly he climbed into the couch, settling behind you and pulling your back flush against his chest. You closed your eyes, his even breaths anchoring you in this moment. He buried his face in your hair, taking your hands in his before pressing a soft kiss to the back of your neck. Something inside of you crumbled. Has anyone ever kissed you there before? Has anyone ever loved every part of you?
Spencer brushed a stray tear from your cheek with a thumb. “Talk to me, sweetheart”
You opened your mouth to explain but no words came out. How could you describe how overwhelmingly small and silly and insignificant you felt?
“I just -” you broke off before continuing in a quieter voice. “Am I too much? Do you - do you think I’m a burden?”
“No, darling” his response was immediate and his certainty rocked you. “A burden is something you’re forced to carry against your will. But I choose to be with you. You hear me?”
He shifted slightly, capturing you with his gentle gaze. “I want to be with you. I want to be with you every second of every day. You could never be a burden to me.”
You turned in his arms, burying your face in the crook of his neck. “Why am I like this? What’s wrong with me?”
“There isn’t a single thing wrong with you. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you do.” He rubbed soothing circles onto your back as you clung to him. He felt a tearing in his chest, some physical manifestation of the secondhand anguish he was experiencing from seeing you in pain. He held you tighter, pausing to collect himself before he continued. “Y/N, you are my whole heart. You are the reason for everything I do and I wouldn’t trade you for the world. Sometimes I swear you’re the only thing holding me together. Loving you is what makes me strong”
You nodded slightly, his words starting to alleviate the tightness in your chest. For once, you didn’t feel silly asking your next question. You knew what the answer would be. “You love me?”
“With every beat of my heart”
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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years ago
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OBEY ME! LESSON 60 DETAILED SUMMARY + DISCUSSION/THEORIES
*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well
*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too
*I swear more than usual here
*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.
*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons
Welp this is it… DAMNNNNNN the last two seasons each had a lesson near the beginning of the season dedicated just to a date with Mammon and I’m praying S4 has one as well and though it sucks Mammon & MC’s hellos and goodbyes are always really sweet and ahhh how am I already missing them. I’m desperate for S4 and I haven’t even finished S3 yet… fuck okay. 
Post Lesson 60 edit: The last chapter goodbyes are gonna be direct quotes cause I’m an emotional mess. 
As MC is about to head outside Mammon calls out to them and tells them to bring him a cake on the way home, they ask him why he’s been so cold and distant with them lately and he frowns at them and says he doesn’t know what they’re talking about and tells them not to forget the cake and then he leaves. Asmo who had being eavesdropping laughs and says that even for Mammon that was oddly bossy and arrogant. He then asks if he can tag along with them partway cause he’s heading to the spa. As they walk past the lake Asmo tells MC not to hold Mammon’s recent attitude against him and that he’s so upset about having to leave MC again that he doesn’t know what to do with himself and since rn all he can think about is MC he’s not sure how to act around them. Asmo says Mammon’s spending too much time dwelling on this. He looks disappointed and shakes his head when he asks himself what he’s gonna do about Mammon and that he’s being a child. (IS2G Asmo is the number #1 Mammon x MC shipper???????? Relatable) MC asks him if he hasn’t been dwelling on leaving. He asks if they wish he was and says they’re always on his mind and that’s why he doesn’t seem any different now. He says the actual reason he’s still so himself and not outwardly upset is cause he has faith (HA!) that they’ll end back together again like all the previous times they had to separate. He says he’s still sad about having to say goodbye but all that makes him want to do is treasure the moments they have rn. They can hold his hand, kiss him or say that’s a really Asmo thing if him to say. He smiles and says positivity is one of his charms (Asmo ily but weren’t you the one who got drunk and cried and needed to have Satan carry you back home the first time MC left…) They eventually part ways. I’m guessing the order of the rest of the ‘goodbyes’ is gonna be Satan, Mammon and then Lucifer cause those two always end up last in that order…
EYYYYY! They run into satan and ask where he’s off to. He says he’s off to the bookstore to stock on some human books before they head home and asks MC if they want to tag along. He hands them a list and tells them to start looking from the top and that he’ll start from the bottom. He says thwy can use magic as long as no human sees them (ME: thinking back to that one human MC, Belphie and Diavolo scared the shit out of…Hmmmm). They agree and he says that knowing they studied under Solomon makes him feel safe to trust that they know what they’re doing. He says he always knows he can count on them when he needs them and that being in the Devildom without them will be troublesome (I said in the fairy dust/angel lesson that Satan & MC are incredibly similar and that their friendship is highly underrated and I still stand by that.) MC uses magic to lift a book from a high shelf and Satan warns them that someone’s coming making them loose their concentration and the book to come falling down, Satan shields them though and gets hit with it instead. They each ask if the other is alright and he says they need to be more careful that no one sees them (ME: INTENSELY THINKING BACK TO THAT TIME WITH DIAVOLO AND BELPHIE WHEN MC WAS WILLING TO BARBEQUE A MAN FOR FIRING A GUN AT BELPHIE) He blushes and tells them he’ll show what he means and he takes them behind a bookshelf where no one can see and wraps his arms around them and pulls them close (Satan what kinda romance novel pickup line was that??? Also all I can imagine is that SNL bookstore skit with John Cena & Aidy Bryant). MC can kiss him, wrap their arms around him or just thank him for shielding them earlier. He says there’s no need to thank him and that he’s just happy they’re not hurt, He then laughs softly and asks if they’ll be okay once he’s gone. They ask him in turn if he’ll be okay. He blushes and says he won’t and that just thinking about life without them was enough to drive him mad.
At dinner levi asks if everyone is there and Beel looks sad and says Mammon isn’t, Belphie sighs and says he always has to make things difficult. Levi says it’s okay and he gets it and that Mammon obviously thinks dinner’s gonna suck since Levi made it and holy shit can we pls take Levi to a therapist pls? Belphie says Levi’s beating himself up for no reason and Levi goes on a rant about how he’s an ultra-negative, depressing otaku and how no one likes being around him ajndsvddjsnk LEVI pls!!? (unrelated but Levi’s actually my third favourite) Belphie asks MC to go get Mammon and Beel tells them to hurry. They knock and enter his room. They ask him what he’s doing and he says he was just watching a shark movie Satan gave him. He asks if they’re here to tell him about dinner and that they should head back and eat and not to worry about him. He looks upset and says he’s not in the mood to eat. They say they’re really gonna miss him and he’s eyes widen for a sec before he looks away and asks if they’re some sorta kid. He then laughs though and says they’re not the only one who feels that way. He blushes and says of course he’s gonna miss them too and that they already knew that. He asks if there isn’t some other way for them to stay together forever. He says that being a sorcerer they have to make something happen. They can say a.) that despite being a sorcerer they’re still pretty green and he laughs and says the one time he needs them they’re no use at all. He blushes and tells them to hurry up and ‘ripen’ and that a green sorcerer won’t cut it. B.) being a demon he should make something happen. He says if there was something he could do he woulda done it a long time ago. Looking aside again he says hanging out with them and talking about dumb stuff is something he takes for granted and he just realized he won’t be able to do it again anytime soon, he says that once he’s back in the devildom life would be dull and that once he used to be happy as long as he had money but after they met that was ruined. And now during his free time he thinks about them and feels all worried and unsettled. He blushes and asks them to stay with him and keep him company since all this is their fault. Belphie texts them asking where the fuck they are they say they’ll have dinner with Mammon later, he then wishes them luck with Mammon.
In the music room Levi’s bemoaning how he understands that any coffee he makes won’t be good enough while a wide eyed Asmo asks him what he’s talking about cause as you can see Asmo is drinking his coffee, Levi says he never admitted it was good though. Asmo smiles and reassures him that it’s actually good and asks Belphie to back him up. Belphie says he wants no part of any of this which immediately crumbles all of Asmo’s hard work and makes Levi depressed. Lucifer pops his head in and once he spots MC asks them to come to his room. They ask what he wants to talk about, he says he’ll tell them when he gets there. To the room as a whole he says that Diavolo wants them all at the hotel the next day. This surprises both Mammon & Beel, and Satan asks if there’s another problem at the hotel, making everyone turn and eye Levi who turns red and protests. In his room Lucifer asks if MC knows why he called them and they say nope. He asks if they really don’t know or if they’re just playing dumb. When they don’t answer he says it’s about why Diavolo called them to the hotel. He says Diavolo hasn’t told him the reason behind it and asks if MC knows, saying that for Diavolo not to tell him it has to be either something that’ll supremely piss off Lucifer or something that Diavolo finds fun and exciting that Lucifer won’t like but will have to endure. They say they don’t know anything about it. He says, “what do you think you can lie to me? Have you forgotten who the fuck I am exactly!?” When they still remain silent he drops the blank faced glare and laughs saying he can take a guess at what’s going on considering they’re not willing to share. He says considering this is them they’re probably gonna do something nice for them and he tells them they’re really sweet, they tell him not to stop and to keep stroking their ego (or they can ask for a reward). He says he may considering how things go tomorrow. He then pauses and says he’s actually in the mood to indulge them today so he’ll sing their praises just for today. (They can ask if he’s sad about saying goodbye, he says yes and then blushes and says obviously that means they’re spending the night in his room – I noped out at this point. Is it weird that Lucifer’s the only brother I can’t see MC platonically sharing a bed with?) They then tease him saying this is very unlike him. He blushes and agrees, saying that when he’s with them he doesn’t have to be the avatar of pride but that’s okay because they love all the different sides of him (I thought this was really sweet, Lucifer needs to know that there’s someone who loves him as a whole even the parts of him that are massive jerks and I love that this interaction can be read as either romantic or platonic. He smiles and says he’s looking forward for tomorrow.  
The brothers are all surprised when from the hotel they are taken to the currently most popular club in the human world that has been reserved all for them, with Simeon making all the food and Luke making cakes. Luke tries his best to protect the food from Beel while Satan and Mammon say how surprise they were by Barbatos’s magic making them walk out into the club after walking into the hotel. MC asks if they like it and Lucifer says of course they do and thanks them for doing this. Solomon says he has a present for all of them too, Levi worries that he cooked for them (though he asks it with the sweetest smile cause all these demons are still hanging on to not letting Solomon know his food is toxic waste in case it hurts his feelings) and Lucifer whispers to MC that if so they might all die here. Solomon says he had offered to help cook but Simeon had insisted he had it all handled (he looks awfully disappointed when saying this). Mammon cheers on Simeon and Belphie says “…yeah I never thought I’d owe my life to Simeon but here we are” Their real present is Solomon lighting up the room with what, according to Belphie, looks like a fallen star. Asmo gushes about how beautiful it is.  Beel asks if he can eat it. Levi laughs and tells him he better not. Diavolo says they should officially start the party and everyone cheers. In a side lounge area Simeon says seeing the brothers enjoying the party so much makes all the effort feel worth it, Barbatos says he’s just happy seeing Diavolo having so much fun and he thanks MC. They say they could never have done it without their help in the first place. Simeon says it was MC to got them all working together to make this happen in the first place. Levi then arrives to come drag MC towards the karaoke (which Diavolo insisted they have – poor man’s still trying to sing a duet with Lucifer I see)
Satan and Asmo complain about Levi hogging the mic and singing anime songs, he yells at them for not understanding the raw passion and energy of anime songs (which isn’t that true? Anime songs have a unique kinda passion that makes you hyped that I’ve never being able to find in other songs..). Levi tells MC to forget about them and MC asks to sing a duet. Levi says he’ll queue up a bunch of duets and Mammon yells at Levi for hogging the mic and using this as an opportunity to hit on MC. Levi laughs and says that he’s not swooping in and doing anything the way Mammon said and that MC wants to sing with him. Mammon then blushes and demands to sing the next duet with them from MC. Asmo then calls the one after that and Mammon asks Beel & Belphie what they’re doing. They’re mixing drinks. MC says there new drink (demonous with scorpion powder and something else) sounds really good (cause they’re a freak like that) Belphie says the flavours do seem to go surprisingly well together and he asks Mammon to try some. He protests saying they just want to use him as a guinea pig. Lucifer’s drawn to the commotion and says they all seem to be fun, Levi asks if he wants to sing next and he says later, he then thanks MC for planning a fun surprise for them and that they were able to create some nice final memories in the human world before heading home. MC says they’ll share more great times together and Lucifer laughs and agrees saying this won’t be the last time they’re all together and this is just one of many happy memories they’ll share in the future. When they go back to the lounge area Solomon says they could hear them all talking, singing and laughing all the way from over here despite the music, emphasizing that they could hear Levi the most. Diavolo asks them to come sit and pours them another drink and says they were all talking about them and how they helped them enjoy their time in the human realm. He thanks them from the bottom of his heart. Solomon says last time they were all together in the Devildom and this time it was in the human realm and asks where they should be together next. Luke is surprised he’s already thinking about the next time. He laughs and says it’s cause he can barely wait for the next time they are all together. MC can suggest one of the three worlds. (personally I chose the Devildom cause the brothers aren’t allowed in the Celestial Realm and as much as I am completely in love with Mammon’s human world look I miss the aesthetic of the Devildom.) Diavolo laughs and says he’s happy they’ve taken such a liking to the Devildom and that he’d love for them to come back and that the brothers will be thrilled too. From the distance and getting closer they hear Lucifer telling his brothers to quit pushing him. Mammon tells him to just hurry up and go inside. Levi says Lucifer has to be with them or they won’t be taken seriously. Lucifer groans and asks if they’re actually planning on saying “this to him”. “Of course.” Says Satan. Belphie says it’s at least worth asking. Asmo agrees saying anything’s possible if you put your mind to it. They all tumble into the lounge area and Solomon asks what brings them all here. Lucifer looking tired says that his brothers have something to ask Diavolo. Mammon tells Lucifer not to act as if he isn’t part of this and as if it hasn’t been on his mind too. Diavolo chuckles and asks what they want to ask. Beel says they’ve all been thinking about something for a while now and they want to discuss it with him. The brothers all together yell: “We want MC to join the family!” GUUUUUYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!? Not me softly sobbing at the image this makes in my head ahhhhhhh!??????? AHHHHHH!?????????? MC’s shocked and speechless. Asjvfkjffvuiefhi pls don’t give me hope like this wtf and what do they mean by join the family cause I don’t mind Lucifer more or less adopting them, and like Beel said they already seem to be a part of the family but MC brought up proposals with A LOT of the brothers so is that what they mean? Like marriage??? But they’re all asking and other than Beel & Belphie wanting to share with each other and Asmo being open to threesomes none of them want to share MC so……. Also I do not see my OM! MC getting married at all but at the same time if it was to squirrel their way into a permanent position in the family then…
Diavolo’s wide-eyed and stunned silent, and then he asks “…huh!?” Solomon bursts out laughing. Luke is red faced and tells Solomon this is no time to laugh. Solomon still laughing chokes out that he’s never seen Diavolo so stunned. Luke pauses and then asks what exactly they mean by ‘join the family’ and then he turns red and demands if they mean marrying MC. The brothers obviously haven’t really thought about what ‘join the family’ means and only now realise it can imply marriage. Asmo immediately volunteers. Mammon red faced protests to MC marrying Asmo and then stuttering says that if they’re gonna marry anyone they should marry him (he screams the last part out after struggling through the first part). Levi gets pissed saying if MC marries a scumbag like Mammon they’d have a dark, terrible future (watch me put together a 200 slide presentation refuting this) Belphie tells Asmo and Mammon to back off before they mess things up. Lucifer, looking dead tired, says it’s already a mess. Diavolo goes, “Umm…Lucifer?” and asks him to explain what’s going on. He says the others want MC around on a permanent basis so they don’t have to say goodbye ever and they put their heads together and decided on this. “Marriage!?” goes Luke. Solomon says the demons hadn’t thought how they’d make them part of the family. Lucifer tells Satan that he can look at the others like they’re a band of idiots but to leave him outta it. Solomon asks MC what they think of all this and they say they want to be part of the family too (it’s implied through out the main storyline that generally MC’s someone who’s very calm and collected and who while being incredibly blunt doesn’t express their emotions outwardly much (at the beginning of S2 Lucifer even comments on them being more expressive than before they left) but I’d like to imagine at this moment they are wet eyed and beaming because of these loveable idiots who ARE their family even if it’s not official). Diavolo smiles and says he sees. Luke has problems with humans and demons mixing and being a family (LUKE I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS!?) “Yes, Luke. I know…” says Diavolo. His face then becomes serious and he’s silent and contemplative. Diavolo looks at MC and says that though they aren’t aware of it there’s still bad blood amongst the three worlds and that no matter how much they all want to be a family and stay together it’s not within his power to let that happen. He looks upset and apologizes. Lucifer is silent. He says though that his goal is to one day remove these barriers between the worlds and that he’ll do everything in his power to make that happen, and as the future demon king he promises that one day he’ll make it so that they can marry anyone in this room (I’m screaming just MC – queer as hell and with they/them pronouns waiting in the human world for marriage to get legalized only to fall in love with someone from another world and having to wait AGAIN for marriage to be legalized… I’d have lost my entire shit.) “WELL, isn’t that good for you, you apprentice poaching motherfuckers but guess what I’m a human meaning WE can get married in the meantime… CHECKMATE, BITCHES~” says Solomon. Mammon actually snaps at Solomon and calls him a “son of a –“ before he remembers the child in the room and trails off and snaps at him not to say stuff like that. Belphie asks if Solomon can even be classified as a human given his age. (Can MC even be classified as fully human given the whole Lilith situation? I mean ik Lilith was reincarnated as a human but she still kept and passed on her supernatural magic. Plus there’s a Belphie devilgram that takes places pre S1 that implies MC’s not fully human plus that whole thing about fairy hallucination angel!Lucifer not taking MC’s word for it when they said they were human… it’s very likely though everyone here’s too dumb to realise it). Satan says at this point Solomon might as well be a demon. Asmo tells him not to pretend to be a human when it’s convenient. He laughs and says that even though he can’t grow old or die he still belongs to the human race. Beel says that maybe but Solomon isn’t playing fair, Levi agrees and says Solomon’s also making him jealous. Diavolo says MC sure is popular seeing as they are all fighting over them. Lucifer says he knew this would happen and that’s why he didn’t want them to have this discussion. Luke’s shocked that MC’s got demons and the world’s greatest sorcerer wrapped around their finger, MC asks him if he sees them in a new light now. Luke says he thinks it’s impressive but it also creeps him out.
Back near the dance floor, Satan laughs and says Beel’s eating too much, Beel says Satan’s drinking too much, Satan who actually seems tipsy says he’s nowhere near his limit and challenges Beel to a competition to see who reaches their drink/food limit first, Beel agrees. Given how much beel can eat I can only assume this is the last we see of Satan RIP. Barbatos, looking uncharacteristically extremely worried, tells them to slow down cause neither of them know to stop. Levi, finishing up his song, calls for Luke who booked next but Mammon says Simeon went to put the “little guy” to sleep and asks Levi to come play cards instead. Lucifer, who’s playing with Mammon, asks if he hasn’t lost enough at this point, Mammon turns red and says this time he’s gonna win it all back. Asmo laughs and says Mammon just jinxed himself. Belphie asks why MC’s looking around the room so restlessly and they can say A.) I don’t see Diavolo anywhere B.) where’s Solomon? Either way the answer is he has no idea where Solomon went but he did see Diavolo head out earlier. He says the two of them are probably together talking. MC finds Diavolo and asks what he’s up to. He says he wanted a break and to gaze at the city lights and sober up a little since he won’t be able to see them again for awhile. He asks them to sit next to him and then laughs and says he could barely believe his ears after he heard what the brothers asked. He says he’s known the seven of them for a long time and knows how close they are and that it’s unbelievable that they’d want to include someone new to the family (MY HEART!? ALSO FOUND FAMILY TROPE!) He says it almost makes him jealous. They say that they know for a fact that he’s very important to the brothers too. He’s like “thanks for saying that but rn you’re either playing dumb or you actually are this dumb which makes me question my taste but then again I’m also in love with Lucifer so…” and he says he’s jealous of the brothers not them (Sure, Jan. We know you’re jealous of them both don’t lie). He says he feels the same as them and blushes and says he keeps thinking about how it could be if they were together forever (Sir, pls Lucifer is right there. He’s available. Pls.) He says if their relationship was on that level and if their bond was deep and permanent like those of a family he can’t even imagine how amazing that’d be (he keeps repeating ‘family’ and the brothers weren’t even thinking marriage when they asked for MC to be part of their family and Diavolo was really shocked and he now said specifically it was them asking about being ‘family’ before Luke even first mentioned marriage that made Diavolo jealous. What I’m saying is that considering Diavolo’s lonely, strict childhood the one thing he wants more than anything is a family not marriage specifically). He smiles and says they beat him to the punch and that he asks them to give him time cause he’s gonna do everything he can to mend the bridges between the three worlds for MC and for the brothers…and a little bit for himself. He gives them his word.
Out on the balcony Solomon greets them and asks if they shouldn’t be down with the others, they say they needed a break and wanted to talk to him, he wonders if the others would be pissed if they knew Solomon had MC all to himself. He says he figured he’d stay out of the way today and let MC and the demons spend time together considering he’ll have enough time to hang out with them later. He says he can’t believe they asked MC to join the family and that he didn’t see that coming. He starts laughing again about how serious they looked and how shocked Diavolo looked, and how Lucifer looked like he had a migraine (Ik we all say Lucifer’s the sadist but have we considered…) MC asks if he really thinks it’s that funny (and I’m pretty sure they’re offended on the brothers’ behalf and hurt cause that’s what they want too.) Solomon says for him it’s funny. He says it’s common of a demon to ask for a business arrangement or a pact but he’s never heard of them asking humans to join their family. He smiles and says he’s beginning to think he chose a “truly incredible” human as his apprentice. MC asks what the demons in his life are to him, he gives it serious thought and said these days he sees them as close friends. MC asks if things were different earlier and he says they were but also asks that they not get into things rn cause the story is long and tedious, MC asks if he’s just trying to avoid their question and if he’s gonna tell them the truth or not. He laughs and says nope and that though you can’t tell it by looking at him he’s a little too tipsy. He reminds them that they’re barely a sorcerer rn and that they should leave questions like that for later until they can use “magic like this” without an incantation. He uses magic to teleport the others on to the balcony (what a snake. Imagine instead of going to a crowd to escape a conversation you use your magic to bring the crowd to you to avoid a conversation AND to set a line for MC to reach before they can start poking at his past.) Asmo says he’s being wondering where the two of them went and how naughty it was to sneak off together, Levi complains about being cut halfway through a song, Beel asks MC to judge his eating competition with Satan and Satan says it’s actually a drinking competition. Barbatos looking deeply concerned asks if the two of them intend to empty the hotel’s pantry AND its wine cellar. He asks MC to stop them. Lucifer’s goading Mammon and kicking his ass in a card game and Mammon refuses to give up (HC that Lucifer taught Mammon to play cards up in the Celestial Realm as a way to get him to sit still and NOT set the drapes on fire). Belphie comments on the card game and the party continues. (Pretty sure Solomon saw the demons as pawns or tools to get what he wants/ for more power and that he was much more ruthless with making pacts with them than he is now when he pesters Lucifer (aka getting Asmo drunk while he was upset and making a pact) the question is why? And why did Michael basically sponsor this? We know that the Celestial Realm and Devildom had just called a truce when Michael took an interest in Solomon so could it be that he wanted someone to keep an eye on the demons and the best way to do that was to have a powerful human sorcerer make as many pacts with demons as possible. I mean Solomon made a pact with Asmo mostly because he was Lucifer’s brother and Michael still has a heavy interest in the brothers so it could be possible that he wanted Solomon to make a pact with one of them so that he could see what they were doing?)
LAST ONE GUYS! :) I’m okay really :)))))))) Outside the manor in the morning, Barbatos tells Diavolo it’s time and Diavolo looking really sad agrees. (RIGHT OFF THE BAT HUH!?) Even Solomon seems upset when he realizes it’s time and then that damn song starts playing, that ending song that always chokes me up and this time it doesn’t feel as sad as last season because honestly the “Till we meet again” party really helped while last season all the brothers tried to run away with MC and that shit HURT but it still makes me choked up FUCK I want them back so badly. Diavolo comes up to MC and says they have to return and that though they weren’t here for a long time it was really fun. “So, till we meet again, MC” he ends with. Barbatos thanks them for all they did to make their stay in the human world more comfortable. He says next time they meet he’ll prepare a special tea for them that he’s sure they’ll like. From here we’re going to direct quotes because I am EMOTIONAL:
Mammon says, while not meeting their eyes: …Listen, why’re you sittin’ around twiddling your thumbs, huh? I saw how hard you worked to become a sorcerer, so I know you got it in ya. (He blushes, still not meeting their eyes) Hurry up and learn summoning magic ASAP! You big dummy… (he finally looks up at them and smiles) And once you learn it, you’d better summon ME first! All right? You promise, right? (MC can either hug or kiss him….AND YOU GUYS MUST KNOW ME BY NOW SO MC just kisses him in front of all the brothers just like that????????? – he blushes and looks away again) Dammit, now I wanna take you back to the Devildom with me… (He meets their eyes one more time, face still red)
Levi says, blushing and looking aside: …You know that game we were playing? Final Devil Kingdom… (He looks up at them, still blushing) Well, I’ve decided not to make any more progress in it until I see you next. (He smiles brightly then) So we need to get together and play it again as soon as possible, okay? I mean, I’m dying to move on to the next dungeon… (He looks up at them with a sad expression then and they can either hug or kiss him and look I love Levi but I’ve already made my choice so MC hugs him – he blushes and gets a determined expression on his face) I’m going to be messaging you a lot, okay? So… don’t ignore my texts, or I’ll cry. (He smiles at them one more time)
Satan says, looking confident and meeting their eyes: …There are several cats who come by the manor for food each day. Make sure to take care of them for me. If you’re on the job, I feel like I can rest easy knowing they’ll be okay. (He frowns, blushes and looks away then) But keep in touch. Let me know how the cats are doing every day. Got it? Every day. (They hug him and he laughs and then says with a smile) Knowledge is power. The more you have, the better off you’ll be. So study hard, and learn to stand on your own two feet as a sorcerer as soon as you can.
Asmo says, looking really upset but making eye contact: No matter how I dress myself up or how cute I make my nails and makeup, if I can’t show it to the one I love the most, it won’t be fun at all. (He smiles then) So, I’ve decided to think about it this way… I have to strive to make myself more and more beautiful with each passing day! 🤍 (He smiles even more brightly) So that one day you’ll fall for me completely and then you’ll be all mine! How does that sound? (MC hugs him and he giggles, and says smiling) I’m going to put a little something extra on my hug! 🤍 (he squeezes them closer)
Beel says with a soft smile looking in at them: …It was fun getting to eat together with you every day here human world, MC. (His smile brightens) You know, when you’re with the right person, good food has a way of tasting even better. I want to be able to eat with you all the time, every single day. I want that to be normal. And I’m going to do whatever I can to make it so that someday soon, it really will be like that. (MC hugs him and he blushes and smiles and says) Make sure you eat enough, okay? Take care of yourself.
Belphie says also with a soft smile, making eye contact: I’m glad I got this chance to live here in the human world. Spending each day together with you in your world has been incredibly fun. (He looks sad and looks to the side) …Having to go to sleep every night in a house without you in it from now on is going to be really sad, and really lonely. (MC hugs them and he blushes but his expression is still sad and he doesn’t make eye contact) Take care, MC…
Lucifer’s wearing that fond smile that makes his eyes squint shut and he says: …Never did I imagine that one day, I’d find it this hard to say goodbye to you. I’ve managed to shock even myself. (He looks up at them then) Once I’m back in the Devildom, where I can’t see you anymore, this feeling is probably going to grow even worse. I hope this is every bit as difficult for you as it is for me. (MC hugs him) …Let’s make sure we see each other again sooner rather than later. (He gives that soft fond smile again)
Barbatos opens the portal. Solomon tells them all to take care. There’s a flash of bright light and the opening song starts playing. “MC!” Yells Mammon with a bright smile before he jumps in. “Toodles!” Says a beaming, waving Asmo. “Till next time!” says Levi with a small smile. “Take care of yourself!” Says a brightly smiling Belphie. “Bye…” Says Beel with a smile. “See you around.” Says Satan with a smile. “See you next time.” Says Lucifer with a nod of his head and a smile. “Goodybe, MC.” Says Diavolo with a bright smile. There’s another flash and the portal’s closed and they’re all gone. The credits play thanking all the main and side character VAs over human world backgrounds and YOU! Back in front of the manor Solomon says it suddenly got so quiet that he feels lonely. MC’s silent and doesn’t answer him. “Hey,” he says after a bit, “didn’t they officially hire you as their “babysitter” because you came here looking for a job, you know that thing you need to be able to survive independent adult life in the human world… Did they ever pay you for that?” “…SON OF A B–” At the angel’s halo Simeon tells a sad, silent Luke that the others must have gone back home by now, Luke quietly agrees. Simeon laughs and asks if that bothers Luke. Luke blushes, stutters and denies it. Luke tries to change the topic by telling Simeon to hurry up and grind some coffee cause they’re about to open. Simeon says they still have enough time and Luke says he’s gonna take out the trash and runs out back to avoid his feelings and this conversation. Simeon laughs. The door opens and Simeon turns to tell them they’re not opened yet but trails off. ??? says, “I can see that, yes…” Simeon’s eyes widen and his mouth turns down, he’s too shocked to say anything. ??? says, “Well, look at you. I could almost believe you really are a human, brother…” Simeon’s entire face goes blank and settles on a cold emotionless expression though he still doesn’t reply before he slowly smiles, “…Welcome. So glad you could stop by, Raphael.” And the chapter, the lesson and the season is over. So…SO…you know I don’t even have words really. I’m not, we really are getting new characters aren’t we. I mean I said in some of the earlier summaries that at this point with the way they were hyping up the angels in this season that it only makes sense to bring them in BUT I never 100% believed they would and now I’m just???? They really are gonna do it holy fuck GUYS!? I need S4 badly like rn immediately but given that the break between S2 and S3 was really small AND that they maybe introducing at least 2 new characters the break between S3 and S4 might be longer AND I get it y’know but still I desperately need this now. Holy shit. And Simeon’s facial expressions! How he looked surprised and upset and then how his face just shut down (something we rarely or never? See from him) and then how it smoothed out into a smile ajsdvbkdwhskcjksk Raphael’s way of speaking fit exactly with what I imagined after what Asmo, Lucifer and Belphie said about him. This kinda formal, authoritative, cold, distant way. And the tension between him and Simeon!? “BROTHER!????” Does he mean brother in the same way as the Sins do or is it more brother in arms the way I see Lucifer and Simeon being in the Celestial Realm? It felt cold compared to them. Pls give me a heavily dysfunctional, distant and cold angel family to contrast with the dysfunctional but close and loving demon family I WILL SCREAM. I’ve screamed all my angel and celestial realm theories in the previous summaries (there are a lot) so I’m not gonna go into detail about them here but I will say I’m keeping my fingers crossed for morally dubious/grey angels who believe they are completely in the right at all times and I’m deeply scared of getting at least part of S4 without the brothers as we are introduced to the angels – I mean don’t get me wrong I’d love if they took time to introduce us to the angels without the brothers’ dynamics with them being involved and to give us a chance to hear their side of the story before they have the whole reunion between everyone BUT I’ll also feel the heavy withdrawal effects of being deprived of the brothers so yeah. Overall the goodbye to the brothers felt far more uplifting than last season’s one given that they ended with the upbeat opening song and not the melancholic sounding ending song. WOW okay. I’m gonna try and get through the hard lessons and unlock the chapters I couldn’t since S2. SEE YOU NEXT SEASON! LOVE AK 🤍
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rogue-durin-16 · 4 years ago
Text
STICK TOGETHER
Summary: When Fred finds out Y/n is planning on leaving the Wizarding World, he canalizes his feelings in the worst way possible, which leads to a terrible outcome that seems unfixable.
Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader
Genre: angst
Tags:
Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn
Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality
Warnings: swearing
A/N: @meph1stophelian is here putting pressure on me to post this already so I'm apologizing for the poorly written ending lmaoo enjoy <3
Rogue-durin-16 masterlist
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"Fred, calm down." George begged me; he walked by my side, trying to talk some sense into me, but it was not the moment. "You gotta understand her— throwing a fit isn't going to help anyone—" I didn't even look in my twin's direction while he spoke. "Bloody hell, Fred—"
"Y/n!" I quickened my pace, leaving George behind after spotting her in one of the corridors, having a chat with a couple of Ravenclaws. "Can I have a word?"
"Sure— Oi!" I hadn't waited for her to reply before grabbing her hand and snatching her away to pull her into the nearest broom closet. "What was that about?"
"Tell me I heard Katie wrong and you're not actually leaving."
"I can't tell you that." She plainly responded, her voice steady.
A single, gobsmacked snide left my throat. "You're joking, right?" My heart ached as if it was being constricted when she shook her head no. "So you're fleeing?"
"What?"
"Things are getting ugly so you're running away."
Her eyes dug into mines as she stayed in a very uncomfortable silence before replying with. "So what if I am?" When I averted my eyes from hers, she called my name. Her eyes were somewhat softer now, with a gleam of plea in them. "For the last two years we had nothing but tragedy. Diggory died, You-Know-Who is back and recruiting, the ministry is full on going against a teenager, this pink colored nasty toad is physically abusing us, and on top of that, I have to put up with my housemates' bullshit for having muggle blood— I'm tired!" Her voice had raised a bit, enough for me to know she was struggling to keep it at bay, but still managed to. "If I can have a life out of this then—"
"You're a coward."
"Fred." there was a warning on her tone, but I couldn't listen.
"You're leaving... people behind," she attempted to reason; I didn't let her. "Dunno why I'm surprised, really. At the end of the day you're a Slytherin for a reason."
Her eyes started to well up, and I couldn't tell if it was with anguish or fury. I knew I was getting under her skin, but that was exactly what I intended to do; if I was going to leave that room scarred, so would she.
"Self-preservation, you call it." I scoffed, feeling my own rage building up faster each passing second. "Pure cowardy."
"Is that what you think?" Her tone wasn't steady anymore; she was holding back the poison of her words, for my sake.
"Yeah." I wasn't capable of doing the same thing for hers. "And I don't want your cheap excuses and emotional manipulation to convince me otherwise." My face was probably red due to the anger, my jaw and fists hurt from clenching them; I was off the rails, and the person who would usually stop me was standing in front of me. "Better leave now so you don't have the chance to sell us out when shit goes down."
Silence fell upon us, our gazes locked, equally watery and with the same amount of fury and sadness within them.
And finally she snapped. "Maybe I'm a coward, but you're a self-absorbed prat who's not able to see beyond your own ego!" The way she said it hurt me more than the sentence itself. "This is not gonna be a DADA class, Fred! I don't want to fucking die because I was too slow casting Protego."
"Good luck, Y/l/n." I curtly wished her before stalking out of the broom closet I have initially dragged her into.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We avoided each other for a week. The following Monday, when I entered the Great Hall, I found George and Katie quite depressed.
"What's gotten into you?"
They shared a look before my brother turned to me, deciding to break the news himself.
"Y/n left last night." He gave me an apologetic look. "Thought she'd wait until the graduation—"
"But she's had enough." Katie finished, toying with her breakfast. "Honestly, I wish I had a life in the muggle world too."
My lungs were refusing to take the air inside; I felt as if I would choke if I stayed there, so I stormed out, jogging to reach the countryard.
I needed to breathe.
Even after the wind hit my face, that vital task felt like the most difficult thing in the world to accomplish.
I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her.
A sob escaped my chest, realising the harsh words I had spat at her were probably the last ones she would ever hear from me.
I love her.
A Year And A Half Later
READER'S P. O. V.
I managed to apparate somewhere in the cornfield —the only place around the Burrow I remembered clearly.
I should have landed with a broom, but apparently, Mad-Eye didn't inform Lupin that I would serve as an extra escort for Harry if they were ambushed, so my broom was now smashed somewhere down the muggle road we had flown over.
Mentally cursing the damn moment in which I spoke to Shacklebolt in hopes of being useful in this war, I looked for the entrance of the Weasley home, which took me quite a while.
Funnily enough, it was Lupin who stepped out, wielding his wand and casting yet another hex at me that I somehow managed to block.
With a swift wave of my hand, he was propelled back into the house. "YOU!" A long-haired redhead I recognized as the eldest Weasley helped my old Professor up as I stalked to them with my wand up. "YOU HEXED MY BLOODY BROOM! I'M LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!"
"Y/n, calm down—" Shacklebolt was now besides me with his hands up. "He didn't know you were coming— he was trying to protect George from further harm."
My brain was slow to process his words, but as soon as it did, I started to down my arm. "What happened?"
"Snape hit him with the sectumsempra." My eyes widened at Lupin's heavy words.
"Did everyone else make it?" The three of them remained silent, the ginger shaking his head no.
My breath caught up in my throat, but before I could ask if Fred was alright, another tall ginger flashed the corner of my eye, and my head snapped to the living room's door.
FRED'S P. O. V.
Everyone was scattered around the house. Ginny took Hermione and Fleur to her room; Ron and Harry made its way up too; Tonks went out —she needed a moment alone to mourn Mad-Eye—, and, while my parents and I stayed with George, Lupin, Shacklebolt and Bill went to guard the entrance.
I was still kneeling by George's side, holding his hand while our mother healed his wound the best she could, when we heard a yell followed by a strong blow in the kitchen.
I looked at my mum and dad, my eyes flickering to my twin while I reached for my wand.
As I got up, more yells were heard, this time clearer; the voice was familiar— I knew that voice all too well.
There she stood, at the entrance of my home.
Her eyes met mines as soon as she caught a glimpse of me, and my head started to spin. I knew I had no right to do what I was about to do, but after that night's events, in which the war became very much real, I couldn't help but rush to her and engulf her in a tight hug.
Surprisingly enough, I couldn't take more than two steps forward, since she did what I intended to do first.
"You're alright." She mumbled against my shoulder. My eyes shut, trying to block the tears that threatened to fall. "How's he?" She inquired whilst pulling away with a concerned frown.
Not trusting my voice, I nodded in the living room's direction. A quiet sough escaped my lips as she passed by, her hands lingering on my arms for a brief instant before she entered the room and took careful steps towards the settee.
I barely caught a couple of words from George and Y/n's exchange, my mind still buzzing due to the shock.
"What do you say, Freddie?" I frowned at my twin, regretting not listening to the conversation. "She can take my bed, right? I'm not gonna get far anyway."
"Right." I agreed, struggling for my voice to come out steady. It was Y/n we were talking about; I had known her since our fourth year, I had been friends and more with her, seeing her shouldn't be that nerve-wracking.
A couple of minutes later, we were all heading to our respective rooms, and as I closed my room's door behind me and Y/n, it dawned on me that I had underestimated the anxiety that could cause me being left alone with her.
Get it together, Fred.
"If you want, you can grab a shirt from the drawer." I finally managed to speak, motioning at the chest besides the window. She nodded and turned to it to look for one she could sleep in.
Now that I had the opportunity, I carefully observed her, and soon realized how much she had changed in the time we were apart. Not only when it came to her physical appearance; she stood a bit straighter, talked a little calmer; the joy with which she used to sparkle was dim now, eclipsed by a severe, worried attitude— a sign of us no longer being the kids who messed around at Hogwarts.
"I missed you" I knew right away that wasn't the best start for the conversation.
"It sure didn't seem like it." The bitterness in her tone stung my heart harsher than I expected.
"You're still mad?" The way I was conducting the conversation was making me want to bang my head against the wall.
She sighed, turning around now that she had the shirt on to meet my gaze. "A year and a half, Fred. You didn't contact me for a year and a half. I thought we were friends."
"You left me behind!" I talked back, partly because I panicked, but also because I, to my surprise, was still mad too. "What did you even expect?"
"A letter?" She questioned, throwing herself down on the bed. "I mean— I didn't really expect anything, but a letter would have been a good way to let me know you didn't fucking hate me." My eyes, now fixed on my lap, went wide when Y/n's voice broke at her last three words.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, quite ashamed of having to apologise while also being scared of saying anything that could harm her further. "I'm sorry about not writing and- uh... I'm sorry about what I said to you. I know it's not an excuse but I was really mad and..." I cleared my throat and felt the blush creeping up my neck even before I finished the sentence. "... and hurt 'cause you- I thought that maybe I wasn't important enough to you and- yeah, I'm sorry about what I said." I tried meeting her eyes but they were fixed on the wall before her.
"It's fine." She shrugged, "I guess you were right anyway."
"I wasn't right-"
"You were." She hugged her knees to her chest and hid her face there. "Wanna know why I'm back?" She didn't need my response. "They're hunting down my family." My heart stopped beating for a second due to the shockingly deadpanning tone. "A friend gave me a tip-off— they were tracking them down. I got to them just in time." I refrained myself from asking about them —the less I knew, the better. "So yeah, you're right, I was a coward and left people behind."
My body shot up and my legs carried me to George's bed; without me being fully aware of what I was doing or which consequences it could have, I sat down and pulled Y/n into my arms.
Though she was shocked at first, her body soon relaxed into the familiarity of my arms, and she let out a relieved sigh. "You're not alone on this." I whispered, pecking her crown. "I'm here, okay?"
"So you don't hate me?" She murmured against my chest.
Maybe it was the fragility of her voice, or the warmth of her embrace I missed so much; maybe it was this past year and a half of regret, or the night's events, but I couldn't hold back my words.
"I love you."
And even though she went stiff, even if I had just blurted them out almost in accident, I didn't regret saying them, because I, in fact, loved her.
She pulled away to look into my eyes. "You mean it?"
"Yeah." I replied, calmer than I had been in a while. "And I'm really sorry about everything, if I could turn back time—" words and air were cut off by her lips crashing against mines.
We had kissed before, but it was on a bet's behalf or to prank someone; this was different, this was her pouring her 'I love you' into actions, and I embrace it gladly.
"No more running away." I commanded when she pulled back. "From now on, we stick together." She nodded, her forehead resting against mine and her palms on my chest.
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ibijau · 3 years ago
Text
Futures past pt28 / On AO3
Nie Huaisang confides in Lan Xichen
warning again for discussion of suicide and depression. This chapter goes in a little more detail than the previous one, so please be careful if that's something that can trigger you.  The passage in question starts at "he said that you died" and finishes at "It was the sensation of a hand taking one of his", if you prefer to avoid it.
It was quite unusual for anyone to come visiting so early in the morning, Lan Xichen thought when he heard a knock on the door, right after the first morning bell. Servants rarely had cause to come at such a time, Lan disciples knew to wait until a more proper hour, and guests were not usually awake so early. It worried Lan Xichen for a moment, some part of him fearing an early attack of Qishan Wen. If they had noticed that Gusu Lan was preparing for a future conflict… but that was unlikely, and there were many security measures around the Cloud Recesses that would have alerted everyone should a hostile force attack, or an assassin try to sneak in.
Lan Xichen took a deep breath, quickly made himself presentable, warned Lan Wangji that he would check on their visitor, and opened the door.
Standing on the doorstep, he found Nie Huaisang.
To say that Nie Huaisang looked upset would have been an understatement. Lan Xichen had never seen him in such a state in this life, and only once in another. It had been right after Nie Mingjue had collapsed, bleeding from every orifice in his head, stricken down by the qi deviation that had killed him. Back then, Nie Huaisang had been crying and trembling like just as much as he did now, sobbing so hard it made him hiccup nearly to the point of sickness, clutching his brother’s body and refusing to let go even after being told that it was too late for Nie Mingjue.
Seeing him like this, Lan Xichen instantly feared the worst.
“Huaisang, did something happen?”
To his horror, Nie Huaisang nodded.
“Xichen-gege, I have something to tell you,” he sniffled.
“Did something happen to your brother?” Lan Xichen asked, breathless with a rising panic that remained even after Nie Huaisang hurriedly shook his head. “Oh. Then what?”
“Can I come in? I'm cold.”
He had every reason to be cold of course, when he was only wearing grass stained night clothes and it was a chilly morning. It was quite odd for Nie Huaisang to have been walking around in such a state of undress, and it only made Lan Xichen worry about what might have happened to Nie Huaisang himself to be in so sad and so undressed. Still, fearing it would be indelicate to ask about that, Lan Xichen just brought his friend inside and gave him the outer layer of his own clothes to warm him up. Nie Huaisang barely seemed to notice a new layer had been added on his shoulders, his expression still grim and determined. He also refused Lan Xichen’s offer for tea, but did sit down at the table when invited to do so.
“Xichen-gege, I’m going to tell you something that you’ll think is very weird,” Nie Huaisang said, his voice trembling. “Maybe you’ll believe me, and that’d be great. Probably you won’t, and then… well, I’ll have tried, and that’s more than he can say. I know what I’m going to tell you is going to sound very weird. You’re going to think I’m mad, or that I’m playing a prank, but I swear I’m very serious. Everything I’m going to tell you is true.”
“Huaisang, you’re really worrying me,” Lan Xichen said, sitting down as well, a little closer than quite proper in case his friend needed to be comforted.
Nie Huaisang shrugged, and cocked his head to the side, staring quite seriously at Lan Xichen.
“Hm. Gege, you’re my friend, right?”
“Of course I am. And I’ll listen to everything you might have to say.”
“You swear?”
Lan Xichen shivered, but did not hesitate. “I swear.”
“And can you also swear you won’t say anything until I’m all done?” Nie Huaisang insisted. “I’m going to sound so crazy, but please, if you have any friendship for me at all, then you have to listen to everything, and to say nothing until I’m done.”
This time Lan Xichen did hesitate, if only because it was so unusual to see Nie Huaisang this serious. But if it was important for the other boy to be heard, then that would be easily granted.
“I promise.”
Nie Huaisang smiled, however weakly, and started speaking.
His was a complicated, long-winded tale that went off on a few tangents here and there. The more Nie Huaisang spoke, the more Lan Xichen understood why he had been so scared of saying anything at all. Had this been shared with anyone else, they would have thought Nie Huaisang crazy, with his odd story of another version of himself coming from the future to warn him against impending doom. Even Lan Xichen, who’d been plagued with recollections of that same future, found this almost hard to believe.
But it made sense, he realised as Nie Huaisang went on with his tale, wringing his hands and avoiding Lan Xichen’s eyes, as if terrified of his friend’s reaction. If Nie Huaisang too knew about the future, it explained why he kept being there at times when Lan Xichen knew he shouldn’t have been, even though everyone else still mostly played their roles according to what he remembered.
Nie Huaisang who had found Meng Yao before Lan Xichen could. Nie Huaisang who had derailed Su She’s path toward vicious bitterness, who had taken Xue Yang out of the streets. Nie Huaisang who had been so insistent on pushing Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian together.
Nie Huaisang who carried a secret too heavy, as he would have in another life.
Nie Huaisang who was making the choice to trust Lan Xichen with that secret, as he didn’t do elsewhere.
“And he was here again tonight,” Nie Huaisang miserably sniffled. “He… he was really awful. I was asking if I could tell you or Su-xiong, about what he’d told me, but he… he was so awful. He’s always awful. But I don’t care. I don’t think you’re the sort of person he says you are. I know you better than that, so I, I had to, I had to try. I had to tell you, I had to, I can’t… I know you won’t believe me, but I had to try, I had to, I had to…”
“I believe you,” Lan Xichen said, shuffling closer and pulling Nie Huaisang into his arms. “Huaisang, I believe you.”
A nervous sob wracked through Nie Huaisang’s body. Lan Xichen pulled him closer still, holding him tighter, as if that could protect him from knowing the horror that the future contained for them.
“You really do?”
“Yes,” Lan Xichen whispered, terrified and elated at once to share that secret again. “Actually, I… The things you’ve said, the war, Mingjue-xiong’s death… I also knew about that.”
Nie Huaisang pulled back from his embrace, just enough to stare at him with wide, puzzled eyes.
“I haven’t been receiving visits like you,” Lan Xichen clarified. “But a little before you came here last year, one night I… I became aware of everything that was to come. The war, your brother and…" he paused, forcing himself to breathe. "And the man you would have been forced to become, too. I’ve been trying to change things, just like you. I’ve told shufu and mingjue-xiong about the coming war, we’ve been trying to prepare for that. That’s why shufu’s suddenly speaking of getting married, it’s a good cover for visiting many other sects, and… I’ve been wondering about telling you as well, actually.”
“Me?” Nie Huaisang mumbled.
“You’re so clever, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to have your input. But I also didn’t want to burden you with this, it felt too cruel. To think that you knew, all along!”
“I… I can’t believe you believe me,” Nie Huaisang whispered, sounding awed.
“I can’t believe you trust me,” Lan Xichen replied, no less amazed. “Especially when I can imagine what that man from the future must have told you about me.”
“He was awful,” Nie Huaisang said, dropping his head against Lan Xichen’s shoulder. “He is the worst, he hates everyone. He said… about you, he said… but I don’t want to believe it. You’re not like that!”
“I’m not now, at least I hope. But the man I’d have become… whatever that other Nie Huaisang told you… it probably wasn't far off from the truth. What I'd allow to happen… I want to avoid that.”
“Hm. He… he said that you died.”
“I did.”
“He said you killed yourself.”
Lan Xichen had to close his eyes.
He remembered the hopelessness of it all, the moment he’d reached that darkest point and become convinced that his being alive was not only unnecessary to the people around him, but actually detrimental to them. It had been a slow process, over many weeks, but that particular night it had felt overwhelming. He had failed to do the right thing so many times in his life. He’d caused evil even when he’d had the best of intentions. He’d been blind to the cruelty of some, to the good of others. He’d allowed good people to die while he looked the other way. For all these reasons and more, Lan Xichen had convinced himself that his mere existence was a stain on his sect. That his uncle would be a better sect leader than him. That his brother would be relieved to be rid of someone who had stood against his lover. Dying had felt like the only option he had left.
So he’d taken his ribbon, and…
He still remembered the fabric tight against his throat, the sensation of choking, and then darkness seizing him. For the man who died, it must have been quick enough. But for Lan Xichen as he currently was, it seemed like a terrifying and prolonged agony, one that still repeated in frequent nightmares, or when he fell into panic and his body refused to let him breathe.
Just thinking of that night far into the future was usually enough to trigger such an episode and Lan Xichen, still holding Nie Huaisang in his arms, suddenly found himself fighting for breath. He did not want to end up like that man in the future, but it constantly terrified him that he would still mess up, that he would not be the friend Nie Mingjue deserved, that he would still fail and end up alone and broken, that he would still die in the same manner.
It was the sensation of a hand taking one of his, of fingers intertwining with his, that startled Lan Xichen out of his panic.
“Xichen-gege, it’s fine, it’ll be alright,” Nie Huaisang gently whispered. “It’s fine, I’m here with you, it won’t happen now. We’re going to… let’s make a deal? Let’s keep an eye out on each other, so we don’t become people we can’t be proud of being. You and I, we’re going to do better than them.”
Lan Xichen took a shaky breath and nodded, squeezing Nie Huaisang’s hand. The younger boy smiled weakly, and with his free hand started wiping away the tears Lan Xichen hadn’t even realised he’d been shedding. With Nie Huaisang taking such gentle care of him, breathing soon became easier again.
As he calmed down, Lan Xichen slowly realised that the position they were in could easily be misinterpreted, since Nie Huaisang was now fully on his lap, the two of them clinging to each other. If Lan Wangji were to come out of his room, as he was certain to do as soon as he’d finished his morning meditation, he might have a thing or two to say about finding them like that. Something so mortifying should have been enough for Lan Xichen to remember propriety and pull away, but he found that he couldn’t quite make himself care about something so irrelevant. Not when it felt so right to hold Nie Huaisang close, to feel the warmth of his body through their clothes, the gentleness of his hand on Lan Xichen’s face.
Nie Huaisang too seemed uncaring about the impropriety of it all. He didn’t protest when, after he’d finished wiping Lan Xichen’s tears, the older boy wrapped his free arm around his waist to pull him closer still. Nie Huaisang just put his hand on the back of Lan Xichen’s neck, looking up at him with an air of expectation, before closing his eyes and angling his face up, almost like an invitation. Lan Xichen’s heart started beating too hard as he wondered if he really was allowed to take what seemed to be offered.
Before he could move, Nie Huaisang suddenly opened his eyes again and frowned.
“Wait, gege, what did you say about your uncle earlier?”
Puzzled by the sudden change of mood, Lan Xichen could only blink silently at the question. He wasn’t sure he’d said anything about Lan Qiren. He certainly didn’t want to be talking about his uncle right then, when there was a chance for something more pleasant to happen.
“He’s not really looking to marry?” Nie Huaisang insisted, pulling back more firmly. “It’s just part of a plot about that Sunshot Campaign thing?”
“Oh, that,” Lan Xichen said, his brain catching up. “Yes, it was his idea. A man in search of a bride won’t be faulted for travelling a lot in search of the right one, especially when that man is as demanding as shufu. He’s been working on building a secret alliance, based on my memories of which sects were the most eager to join the Sunshot Campaign.”
“Ah,” Nie Huaisang said, and he removed his hand from Lan Xichen’s neck and let it fall at his side. “Of course. It makes sense… I thought it’d be odd for him to be marrying.”
“You seem upset,” Lan Xichen said, who certainly was upset himself, now that the previous mood had vanished so quickly.
“No. Yes. It’s… I didn’t expect this,” Nie Huaisang said, pulling his other hand free and shuffling away until they were sitting at a more appropriate distance. “I really feared you wouldn’t take me seriously. I really thought I was going to end up alone, like he kept staying. I thought you’d be angry, that maybe you wouldn’t even want to be friends anymore, but instead you… it’s a lot to take in, and I’ve had a bit of a rough night.”
He did look like a few hours of sleep would do him good, and Lan Xichen felt guilty for having almost taken advantage of that. Surely he’d been misunderstanding things again. Surely Nie Huaisang hadn’t been signalling he was willing to be kissed, he must just have been tired and half falling asleep.
Promising himself to be more careful in the future, Lan Xichen stood up.
“I can still make you tea. I think it might do you good to drink. Me too. I think we’ve both cried a lot.”
“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang mumbled. “I should go back and get ready for the day.” He sighed, so deeply it shook it whole body. “I’ll get scolded if I’m late for classes,” he said, in a despairing tone that said well enough that it horrified him to go on with his day as normal after all this.
“I don’t think you should go to class today,” Lan Xichen quickly offered. “I’ll tell Shufu later, he’ll understand. Just stay here, I’ll call for someone to bring us breakfast and you'll just relax for the rest of the day.”
Nie Huaisang appeared to hesitate, but the exhaustion of everything that had happened was catching up with him and in the end he just nodded.
That was when Lan Wangji finally left his room and joined them. He looked quite shocked by the scene in front of him, his eyes jumping a few times between Nie Huaisang who was now half collapsed over the table in exhaustion, and Lan Xichen who was only half dressed and didn’t even have his ribbon.
“Huaisang had something to tell me that couldn’t wait,” Lan Xichen said in answer to his brother’s silent question. “I’m so sorry to impose on you, but could you please have breakfast sent our way, and tell the teachers that neither of us will come to class today? I’ll sort it out with Shufu later.”
That explanation only seemed to heighten Lan Wangji’s curiosity, but he politely refrained from asking for details and promptly left. Not longer after, a servant came in carrying a simple breakfast for them, which they had with the tea Lan Xichen had prepared. Nie Huaisang struggled to eat or drink anything, his eyes closing against his will. Lan Xichen just made sure his friend had something in his stomach, then invited him to borrow his bed for a nap. Nie Huaisang objected at first, but in the end he was so tired that Lan Xichen just had to drag him to his room, and Nie Huaisang fell asleep the instant he laid down.
Left alone, Lan Xichen returned to the main room and sat down on the sofa. He’d hoped to meditate, but did a rather poor job of that, his mind too full of too many things that refused to go silent. It was a relief when, after nearly half a shichen, Nie Huaisang joined him again. The other boy still looked upset, but he no longer appeared on the verge of collapsing, so the nap had done its job.
“Are you feeling better?” Lan Xichen still asked.
Nie Huaisang nodded, and dragged himself to the sofa where he let himself fall next to his friend, so close they could easily have touched, if either of them had made the first move. 
“Can you tell me about…” Nie Huaisang started, and Lan Xichen braced himself, fearing he’d have to talk about Nie Mingjue’s death. “I’d like to know about that war that’s coming. It really worries me a lot.”
It worried Lan Xichen too, but far less than Nie Mingjue’s death, so it was actually comparatively easy to explain about what would happen, and how. Lan Xichen also explained some of the things he’d already done to ensure that the Sunshot Campaign might be less devastating than it would have been in that other future.
Predictably, Nie Huaisang was horrified by much of what Lan Xichen told him. Even when he knew something, it appeared that key elements had been withheld from him, such as the slaughter at Lotus Piers, the fact that Lan Xichen became sect leader following his father’s death, or quite crucially the exact role Wei Wuxian would play in the war, and why he’d come to play it. Lan Xichen tried to soften the blow as much as he could, to be gentle as he shared the horror to come, but the Sunshot Campaign was a terrible thing no matter what.
When he was done with his retelling of the war, Lan Xichen offered to continue with what came after, but Nie Huaisang stopped him. He looked tired again. He also looked younger than his age, much too young to be burdened with this. They both were, and Lan Xichen felt a flash of anger toward those two men they would have become, who should have found a better way to deal with their problems that to force two teenagers to suffer like this.
“He was right about me,” Nie Huaisang sighed after taking a moment to digest all this information, and he seemed so dejected that Lan Xichen guessed ‘he’ had to mean that man from the future. “What’s the point of me knowing about all of this? It’s something so big and I’m… I’m useless. Even if I know about it, I can’t do anything about it, not like you.”
“I think you’re selling yourself short,” Lan Xichen protested. After some hesitation, he took the other boy’s hand, figuring it was perfectly appropriate as a friendly gesture. It would hopefully comfort Nie Huaisang. It certain comforted Lan Xichen. “You’ve already done so much to change what would have happened, and I firmly believe you’re capable of doing more. In fact, there’s something I’ve been thinking about for some time now.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’ve even mentioned it to Mingjue-xiong. He’s not terribly enthusiastic about it, and I don’t blame him for it, but I think it could work, and I think you’re the only person who could manage it, because you have a gift.”
“My only gift is always being at the wrong place,” Nie Huaisang scoffed. “And always saying the wrong thing.” His eyes fell on their joined hands, and his expression softened. “But… you really think I could help?”
“I know you can,” Lan Xichen replied. “This idea… if it works, it could change everything.”
22 notes · View notes
manndo · 4 years ago
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not today, but someday [oberyn martell x reader]
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pairing[s]: oberyn martell x female!reader
warning[s]: 18+ due to heavily implied sexual content (no actually smut), sexual references/situations, mentions of breeding (in reference to conceiving a child), swearing; talks of pregnancy & the inability to conceive; fluff; angst; oberyn being oberyn (is that a warning??); no mention of ellaria; possible inaccuracies about got (see notes)
word count: 5.4k (ummmm, whoops?)
prompt[s]: none.
summary: all you had ever wanted was a little one, a child to call your own. and yet, months later, you were still without child. still barren, and your dream of becoming a mother seemed to be slipping away. 
author’s notes: okay, so, let me start off saying this -- oberyn martell has taken over my life and i have spent much time yearning over him. and, in doing so, i got this idea one day because, as we know, oberyn had eight daughters. so, i thought, what if he had a s/o who could not seem to conceive? hence, this fic. but, i have never watched an episode of got in my life. i have seen his scenes (besides, you know, that scene because in my head, oberyn is alive and well and having all the berries and orgies he wants & i just can’t handle that much violence) and i have read some articles about the show, seen the gifs/posts on tumblr, and talked to people who have watched it in the past eight+ years. but that the extent of my knowledge of got. so, i apologize in advance for any inaccuracies that this fic holds. and i hope that my characterization of oberyn is good. also, no ellaria -- i just did not feel like she fit in this in anyway possible, and i did not want to force her into the story, so to speak. well, i think that is it! so, on with the show! all mistakes are my own. comments/reblogs/likes are much appreciated. thank you! ❤️
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“I am sorry, m’lady.”
You did not know what else you were expecting. You knew, deep down, that nothing had changed. You did not need the maester to tell you that you were still without child — you knew. But, Oberyn had instead you call up on them, and you were too tired to argue. You also hoped you were wrong, and Gods did you want to be wrong. But, you were not.
You plastered on a polite smile for the maester. “It’s quite alright,” you said, your voice tight as you forced your emotions down. You weren’t going to shed any tears in front of the maester; you would never give anyone the satisfaction of seeing you cry, save for your husband. You nodded your head toward the door. “That’ll be all. Good day.” The maester bowed lowly before turning on their heel and exiting, the large wooden door shutting with a resounding, empty thud. 
The sound echoed in your head and heart; it seeped into your veins, and began to settle in your bones. The sound felt like a finality of sorts. An ending before anything could even begin.
A short, broken sob escaped your lips, and you quickly slapped your hand over your mouth to stop the sound from breaking free. However, it did not matter — the dam had broken, the heartache released. Another sob escaped, muffled by your palm as you squeezed your eyes closed, and laid down on your bed. Your body curling into itself as tears easily flowed down your cheeks, staining them. You felt as if your body was turning on you, tearing you apart at the seams as you shook violently with your cries.
For eight months now, the two of you had been actively trying for a babe, an heir for Oberyn. Not that he himself required an heir — he had eight beautiful daughters, his Sand Snakes, whom he loved dearly no matter their status. But, when the two of you had been wed over a year ago, there had been an unspoken expectation placed upon you both. Oberyn paid no mind, and told you to do the same, but that was easier said than done.
You had always wanted to be a mother, wanting to have babe upon babe running around, mucking up your home and tugging at your skirts. To watch them grow and prosper, becoming handsome young lads and beautiful young ladies, all whom would be intelligent and strong, but caring and kind. To have your legacy, no matter how small or large it would be, live on thorough them. Perhaps there was a small sense of duty, as a woman, that made you yearn to have children. But, you knew that was not the whole picture. Children were beautiful, wonderful, and loving. They were gifts, and you want to have those gifts, to cherish and love them till you were dead and buried. You wanted it, with all your heart, and yet, it seemed like fate was delivering you a cruel hand.
There had been, one fleeting moment in the very beginning of your wedded bliss, where you were positively sure you were with child. You had been so sure, so eager to see the maester; however, you had quickly been proven wrong by your own body betraying you. You’d spent the day in your chambers, unwilling to leave for any reason. Oberyn had found you curled deep in your silken sheets that evening, and try as he might with his quiet, reassuring words, he was unable to pull you from your depressive state. So, he had held you — silently, but tightly, pressing soft kisses across your shoulders, your neck, your jaw. He let his fingertips brush against your skin, tracing nonsensical patterns across your hips, your stomach, your chest, anywhere he could reach. His touches were light, and his movements were sluggish. He comforted you silently, the best way he knew how, and you allowed him to do so. It hadn’t eased the pain completely, but it had been enough.
But, slowly, the days had turned to weeks, and the weeks turned into months, and nothing changed. It did not matter that the two of you had stopped bringing others into your bed to focus solely on each other, for Oberyn to focus solely on you. Nor, did it matter how many times he filled you with his seed, or how willing and open you were to taking what he offered. It did not matter day, afternoon, or night. Nothing mattered. Because here you were, still without child. Barren.
You weren’t sure how much time had passed as the tears flowed and the sobs continued to wrack your body as you laid curled in your marriage bed. Your hand maiden had knocked on the door at one point, but you had been quick to dismiss her before she could enter and find you in your current state. She had not come back and you were grateful. 
But then, finally, everything came to a standstill; the tears you had been crying seemed to dry up, and your body had stopped trembling. You took a deep, shuddering breath and unfurled yourself, allowing your limbs to stretch out across the sheets. The tears were still clinging to the corners of your eyes, but most of them had already dried and stained your cheeks and neck. You pushed yourself to sit on the side of your bed, and roughly wiped away at your face, brushing away the outward sings of your heartache. You silently wished you could easily wipe away the heartache in your chest, too. The one that had buried itself so deeply in there. 
You hadn’t even noticed the door to your chambers opening, didn’t even hear a voice calling out to you. It was only when the door shut — that hollow, empty thud — that you were brought back, your head whipping toward the sound. “Oberyn,” you said, your voice soft, a breathless whisper. He wasn’t supposed to be here; from what you recalled, he was supposed to be kept busy with mundane princely duties (his words, not yours). You weren’t supposed to see him till this evening — and from the way the sun was peeking through the curtains, it could only be mid afternoon — which would have given you plenty of time to steel yourself. To gather yourself together, lock your heartache and pain away before delivering the news. To pretend that it didn’t cut into your soul, didn’t rip you apart from the inside out. “What are you—”
“I had a free moment,” he said, making his way toward you, his golden robes flowing effortless around him. There was a smile playing at his lips, which told you that he actually did not have a moment — he made a moment to come and see you. 
You felt the heartache clawing at your throat, fighting to be released.
Quickly, you pushed yourself to stand, and turned away from him in a futile attempt to hide your face. He would come closer; he would see your pain, your sorrow. Because, though you had wiped away the tears and the stains they had left behind on your cheeks, your eyes were still red and puffy. The pain and heartache still lingering behind your eyes.
God, you had hoped to have more time, more time before you had to tell him. Before you had to watch the sadness and disappointment appear, filling his rich, beautiful brown eyes. You wanted more time. 
A pragmatic pause. “Love,” he said, his voice sounding strained, painful. Your actions had spoken louder than words, it seemed.
You could feel a fresh set of tears springing to your eyes, your hand grasping at the dress clinging loosely to your side. You fisted the fabric tightly and closed your eyes, willing yours tears to stay put, to not fall. You heard Oberyn call out for you again, this time your birth name falling from his lips just before you felt him come closer. He hadn’t touched you, not yet, but you could feel his presence only mere inches behind you. 
“Love,” Oberyn whispered once more, this time as you felt his hand wrap gently around the fist at your side, the other coming to wrap around your waist. “I am—”
“Don’t,” you breathed out, the word sounding more like a broken sob than anything coherent. You broke away from Oberyn, and thankfully, he let you go. “I cannot bare another I am sorry, especially from you, husband,” you said, your voice harsher than you had intended, angrier. Not at him, no, you could never be angry with Oberyn. No, you were angry at yourself. This was your fault; you were defective, broken, unable to provide him and yourself with the one thing you had so desperately wished for. “I have heard enough apologies to last me a lifetime.”
You felt his fingertips brush gently against your arm, the lightest of touches, barely there. A soft gesture to tell you he was there, and that he would not leave. You took a shaky breath, and loosened the grip on the fabric in your hand, letting the dress fall back against you. “There is no rush, my love,” he said, his voice soft and tentative, as if he knew he was treading rough water. And, he was.
A choked chuckle escaped your lips, and you turned to face your husband. “For you, perhaps,” you said, letting your eyes take in his appearance. He looked as handsome as ever, but he was growing older, as was the consequences of living. Over time, more grey had appeared in his hair and his beard, and a few more lines and wrinkles adorned his regal face. Even his stomach had gone a little soft (not enough for anyone besides you to notice). But, he was still the man you had met many moons ago. Still the Red Viper. Sill the man could make any woman or man fall to their knees and beg for his cock. “You, my stallion, can breed until you’re dead. The same cannot be said for myself.”
“I do not think I would call myself a stallion, my dove. Not anymore.”
You snorted, and turned away from him, letting your eyes look down at your marriage bed. You ran a hand across the silk sheets. “With the way we’ve been fucking these past few months, I’d disagree.”
You heard an amused chuckle escape his lips. “I may be able to still mount you like a stallion, but perhaps, I can no longer bred you like one.”
You looked over your shoulder at Oberyn, and raised your eyebrow. “Don’t tell me the father of eight daughters doubts his ability to breed?”
His shoulders gave a small shrug before he reached out to you, wrapping his callused hand around your wrist. Oberyn brushed the rough pad of his thumb over your pulse point. “I am not in my prime anymore, my dove. Perhaps, the fault does not lie on you.”
You looked away from him and back toward your marriage bed. You felt him take a step closer before you felt the press of his lips against your shoulder in the briefest of kisses. The hand holding your wrist slide down, his fingers intertwining with yours. “You’re taking pity on me, husband,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I would never,” he said, his warm breath ghosting over your skin. He pressed another kiss to your shoulder before his chin came to rest there, his beard tickling your skin ever so slightly. “I am merely stating a possibility,” he mumbled, the hand holding yours moving, arm shifting to wrap around your waist, hands still tangled with one another. “A truth, perhaps.”
You scoffed. “You cannot be serious, my prince.”
Oberyn hummed, and placed a soft kiss on your neck. “I am,” he mumbled into your skin. “I could deny reality, if I wished, but denying the inevitable does not change the outcome.”
“So,” you swallowed and looked down at your tangled hands that were resting on your stomach. You took a deep breath. “You do not think of me as a failure?”
Before you could blink, Oberyn had spun you around to face him. His rich, dark eyes were narrowed, but there was no anger behind his eyes. “You are not a failure, my love,” he said, his voice filled conviction. He reached out, cupping your cheek gently, his thumb wiping away a tear you hadn’t realized had fallen. “Please, do not think of yourself as one.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. “There are not many things women are afforded in this life, Oberyn. Many of us are not giving the promise of kingdoms, riches or lands when we are but babes,” you stated, your voice hard, irritation lacing your words. “But this, the gift to bare children, we are born with that. That is ours,” you said, your voice softening as your throat tightened and tears welled at the corner of your eyes. You closed your eyes, and feel another swipe of his callused thumb across your cheek. “I know I am worth more than my anatomy. I know that my anatomy does not define me. That this, this failure,” you said, your voice catching in your throat, “this inability to conceive, does not define me.” You swallowed, and opened your eyes, looking into Oberyn’s deep, chocolate orbs. “I know these things, Oberyn. I know them. But, it cuts me deeply, so deeply that I feel as if I am bleeding out with no way to close the wound.”
“My dove,” he said softly, his other hand coming to rest on your other cheek. He held your face gently between his hands, his features soften, and you could see a pain in his decadent eyes. A pain that was reflected in your own. “Your pain is my pain, know that. And know, there is nothing I would not give up in this world in order to give you the gift of a child,” he said, and you could tell that he meant what he said. He wanted this as much as you did, you both wished for this, silently prayed for this. And yet, barren. 
You watched as he removed one of his hands from your cheek, sliding it down your neck, shoulder, down the middle of your chest, between your breasts and coming to rest on your stomach. Oberyn looked down at his hand, as did you, and spread his fingers across your stomach. “What I wouldn’t give to see you swell with our babe,” he said, and if you listened close enough, you could hear the slight hitch in his breath. You placed your hand over his on your stomach, fingers resting between his. “To see them suckle at your breast, to tug at your skirts, to wreak havoc in the halls.” He gazed back to you, and you felt a lump forming in your throat, a fresh set of tears prickling at the back of your eyes. “The sound of their cries and laughter filling the rooms. To see them as they grow and blossom.” He paused, and you could see he was choosing his words carefully. You felt a knot grow in your stomach. “But, I am starting to think—”
“Please, Oberyn,” you interrupted, your voice cracking as you closed your eyes, your fingers tightening their grip on his. “Do not say—”
“We need to take a step back, my love.”
Your eyes snapped opened. That was not exactly what you expected. You had expected him to say that you two should give up, forget the notion of ever having your own babe. Perhaps, he would even suggest an orphan child; you were not opposed to the idea, you loved children and would gladly be a mother to a child in need of one. But, you were not ready to give up the idea of having your own yet. 
“A step back?” you asked, your eyes filled with confusion as you released your grasp on his hand. You were not entirely sure where your husband was going with this statement. You could not imagine that he was implying to stop fucking. Though Oberyn had aged, he still enjoyed the pleasures of sex (as did you) and the idea that he would give that up? Preposterous. “Are you suggesting we stop fucking, dear husband?”
Oberyn looked aghast at your suggestion, and it made the corner of your mouth tick up. “What a ridiculous notion, dear wife,” he said, mimicking your words back to you, his voice sounding almost betrayed that you would think such a thing. Even suggest such a thing. “Besides,” he started, voice dropping an octave in tone and pitch as he moved both hands, the one on your stomach and the one on your cheek, to come and rest on your hips once more. Oberyn’s callused fingers dipped into your hipbone and held tightly, almost too tightly. It barely phased you. “The idea that I could keep my hands, mouth and cock to myself around you is absurd,” he muttered, a wicked grin spread across his face, his dark eyes flashing with lust. It lasted only a moment before the smirk fell, and a serious look appeared upon his face. “However, if you wish to cease—”
You shook your head. “No, no,” you muttered. “I could not do that to you.”
“My love—”
“I’ve already asked too much of you by ceasing our activities with others.”
“Which,” he started softly, “I had no issue forgoing for you, my dove.” He paused and removed on have from your hip. He placed a finger under your chin and pushed up, lifting your head to make sure that your eyes caught his rich, dark orbs. “You have my body, my heart, and my soul. I love you. Whatever you need, I will comply.”
Your heart swelled in your chest. Oberyn partook in every pleasure imaginable, had never denied himself and tried almost every sexual act under the sun. And yet, here he was, willing to forgo sex for you. You knew he loved you, but this? This proved how far he would go for you, the lengths he would go to make sure you were well, that you were content. Whatever you needed, it seemed, he would gladly give it to you. 
“No, Oberyn,” you started and he opened his mouth once more, but you stopped him as you placed a hand on his cheek. “I am — I have no problem continuing our sexual activities.”  
You watched as Oberyn studied you, his dark eyes scanning your face for any sign that you might be hiding the truth from him. After a moment, he seemed content with what he found. He nodded and removed his finger from your chin. “Then, that is settled. But, I think, my dove we may have put too much pressure on ourselves,” he murmured, turning his head into your palm, and pressing a soft kiss to the center of it. “Not that our lovemaking is not pleasurable, it most certainly is, always,” Oberyn said, turning his gaze back to you, slipping on another mischievous smirk his let his free hand come to rest just below your breast. “But, perhaps, we’ve forgotten what it is like to be us,” he said, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your neck as you let your hand fall from his cheek and back to your side. “Without pressures.” Another kiss, lips moving down. “Without worries.” And, another, lower. “Only us.” His final kiss landed on your shoulder. “Return to an earlier time, when we had first laid eyes upon each other. Do you remember those days, my love?”
You nodded. You remembered those days vividly; the hours spent walking through the water gardens, talking about everything and nothing. The nights spent together, tangled in each other, exploring each other with hands, lips and teeth. Back then, all you had wanted to do was learn about the man you shared your bed — and soon, your life — with, and he had wanted the same. Oberyn still attended to his duties, as required, but every moment when he was not busy, he was with you and you were with him. 
Then, when you had married, more of your time had become consumed with your own requirements and duties as well as his own. Much of your time together was spent was in the evenings, in your bed in hopes of conceiving a child. 
“Perhaps, my love,” Oberyn started again, “we need to allow ourselves to enjoy each others company, get lost in each other.” A brief pause. “In and out of our bed.” You caught Oberyn’s dark orbs, and him yours. The hand on your ribs was removed, and placed instead upon your cheek. You leaned into his touch. “What do you say, my dove? We do not forgo our dream of one day having a babe of our own. We just,” he paused, for a moment, a thoughtful look in his eye, “allow ourselves not to be pressured or burdened by the notion? Return to simpler times, so to speak?” 
You let your husband’s suggestion mull in your head for a moment. Perhaps, he was right; perhaps the two of you had been too focused on conceiving a child that you had, unintentionally, made sex a burden. Oberyn was not wrong; your times with him were always pleasurable and the two of you never fucked if either of you was in no mood to engage in sex. But when you did, perhaps, the burden was there, always lingering in the back of your mind. That the burden had become an unknown weight upon you, upon Oberyn. It would be nice to silence that burden for a while. 
“My love?”
You blinked and focused your gaze back on Oberyn. His deep brown eyes were studying you, patiently waiting for your response. You smiled softly at him. “You are right, my prince,” you agreed, and you watched as a triumphant look filled his eyes, the corner of his lip ticking up. You narrowed your gaze slightly. “Watch that ego of yours, husband.” Oberyn chuckled lowly and moved to grasp your hips. He pulled you tight against him, a wicked smile on his face.
“Or what, dove? Hm?”
“Or,” you started, lifting arms and wrapping the loosing around his neck and shoulders, “it will get you killed one day.”
Oberyn raised an eyebrow. “Will it now? By whom?”
You held your chin up. “Me.” Oberyn laughed, the sound filling your shared chambers, and now it was your turn to raise an eyebrow. “You doubt me, my prince?”
“I do not doubt, your strength, my love,” he said through the laughter, which slowly began to die down as the milliseconds passed. “Or your cunning wit. However, I do know that you love me too much to even harm a hair on my head.” He paused and titled his head. “Well, unless in the throes of passion, of course,” he added, another mischievous grin pulling at his lips. “Then well?” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It cannot be helped.”
You rolled your eyes in annoyance, but you knew the smile pulling at your lips betrayed you. “Whatever you say, my prince,” you muttered.
Oberyn hummed thoughtfully. You had thought to say something else, but before you could even open your mouth to speak, Oberyn’s lips were on yours, his tongue licking at the seam of your lips, seeking entrance. And, you willing granted him entry. His tongue slid harshly against yours, warm, wet and unyielding. A small moan escaped your lips as your arms tightened around his neck, fingers tangling into the curls at the nap of his neck. You used your hold to pull yourself even closer to him, pressing your chest against his as you slipped your thigh between his legs, pressing it against his swelling cock. A low growl escaped his throat, one that was eagerly swallowed by your lips as his grip on your hips tightened.
There was a loud knock at your chamber door.
Oberyn barely pulled away, mumbling, “ignore it,” against your lips before sliding his lips against yours again. And, you had planned to, already lost in the taste of him. However, the moment his tongue had slipped back in to your moth, there was another knock. This time, much louder.
“M’lord?” It was one of the man servants. “Are you in there?”
Oberyn groaned and pulled his lips away from yours reluctantly. “Yes,” he responded, his voice stern, but somewhat out of breath. You smiled. “But.” One of his hands travelled from you hip, up to your side, coming to rest on your breast. He kneaded the flesh, and you let out a soft mewl, heading falling back, eyes closing. “I am very, very busy. So, if you’ll ex—”
“Your presence is requested, m’lord.”
Oberyn rolled his eyes. “By whom?” he asked, but he did not bother to move toward the door to let the servant in, only lowered his head to your neck. He gave the skin at the base of your neck a quick, hard nip. You let out a small yelp of surprise mixed with pleasure as you tugged on Oberyn’s dark locks once more.
You were sure the man servant now knew exactly why Oberyn was busy — or, more accurately, whom he was busy with.
“Your brother, m’lord,” he answered, his voice tight and proper.
Oberyn growled against your skin in irritation before he nipped the skin again, this time worrying the skin for a brief moment. “Oberyn,” you whined, the sound a little louder than a whisper. Another nip in the same area. You were sure you’d have a bruise within the hour. You straightened your neck and opened your eyes. “Oberyn,” you said again, trying to quell the ever growing arousal pooling between your legs. However, his name sounded too breathless and needy on your lips. You glanced down at him the best you could, and saw his dark orbs shining with lust. Oberyn gave a sly smirk.
“M’lord?”
You knew he didn’t want to go, that he would rather lose himself in your body and pleasure. However, you knew that if he did not go now, it would only mean more time away from each other later.
“M’lord? He wishes to speak with you as soon as possible. If you could please open this door, and—”
“Go,” you whispered, ignoring the man servant’s plea, scratching at the back of Oberyn’s neck and giving him a soft smile. “The sooner you meet with him, the sooner you are back in our bed.”
Oberyn raised his head, his eyes watching you closely. The hand resting on your breast slide up and over your shoulder. His callused fingers began to play with the strap on your gown. “And you will be waiting for me?”
“Of course,” you answered, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Unless, you’d like to visit the brothel tonight?” Oberyn raised an eyebrow. “It’s been a while, my prince, and that is my fault. I know I asked you, and you willingly followed my request. But, I do not wish to hold you back anymore. If you would like to share a bed again, I am more than willing to share tonight.”
Oberyn leaned forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, but before it could go farther, he was pulling away. He grinned down at you. “Perhaps another night, my dove. Tonight, I plan to keep you.” The hand on your hip slide off and over, his hand cupping your clothed and aching center. A small whimper escaped your lips, and Oberyn’s own lips twisted into a wicked smile. “And, this pretty cunt all to myself tonight.” He leaned forward, his lips hovering near your ear. His warm breath ghosted over the shell, making you shiver. “Make you come undone upon my tongue for hours,” he whispered, the word sending a fresh flood of arousal between your legs.
“Oberyn—” your voice sounded choked, hoarse, needy.
“Before I finally sink into that tight little cunt.” He pulled your earlobe between his teeth, and worried the skin. You groaned, eyes falling closed as you grasped at his upper arm for support. His teeth released your lobe. “And fuck you until the sun rises.”
You bite down on your lip to stifle the moan that threatened to escape your throat. Oberyn pulled back, hand sliding from your aching center to your hip, and looked at you, that wicked grin still pulling at his lips. “Perhaps—”
“M’lord?” The man servant sounded terse, clearly annoyed that he was still standing outside the door. You glanced at Oberyn to see him roll his eyes, irritation clearly written on his face. “I am sorry, but, I believe—”
“Tell him I will be there in a moment,” Oberyn all but growled through the door at the man servant. You gently swatted at his chest, and gave him a look that silently told him to be nice. Oberyn sighed. “If you would be so kind,” he added, his voice much less demanding as he glanced over his shoulder toward the door.
“Um, I would,” the man started, “but he — he requested that I personally accompany you, Prince Oberyn.”
Oberyn rolled his eyes once more. “Of course he did,” he muttered.
You bite your lip once more, this time trying to stifle a giggle that threatened to erupt. However, it escaped — a meager sound, but a giggle nonetheless. “He knows you all too well, my prince.”
“That he does,” he muttered, and let out another heavy sigh before turning his head and attention back on you. “You’ll be fine, my dove?”
And, you knew what he was asking. He was not just asking if you would be fine while he was away, or if you would be fine for the rest of the day. No, he was asking that and more, much more. Oberyn was asking if you’d be fine from here on out with what you two had agreed upon. Would you really and truly be fine with forgoing your want for a babe? Forgoing the need you had created to conceive a child for the foreseeable future. Were you, for now, fine with only having him in your life? No children, only him, only your prince. Only your husband. Only Oberyn. 
You smiled sweetly, and reached out, placing a hand upon his cheek. “Yes, my love. As long as you promise to stay by my side until one of us takes our dying breath.”
Oberyn smiled, his dark orbs shining brightly with love and adoration for you. He reached out and covered your hand on his cheek with his, squeezing your fingers gently. “Promise.”
You nodded. “Now,” you started, letting your hand slide from his cheek, his fingers still grasping at yours, “go on. Before your brother comes and hunts you down himself.”
Oberyn scoffed, and looked toward the door. “That’ll be the day,” he muttered, and you chuckled softly, shaking your head.
“Go,” you said, voice a little stern as you gently pushed at his shoulder in an attempt to move him toward the door.
Oberyn laughed softly and untangled his fingers from yours. “Fine, my dove, I am going,” he muttered, leaning down to press a soft, quick kiss to your lips. “I will see you in a few hours.” Oberyn took a step back from you, his eyes never leaving yours. He grinned and took another step back. “Make sure you’re ready for me.”
You smirked. “Do not worry about me, my prince. I will be,” you said and he grinned, all teeth and wicked before turning on his heel, and leaving your shared chambers.
The door shut behind him with a resounding thud, but this time, it did not cause you heartache. There was no finality or dread that sank into your bones. It was just the sound of a door opening and closing, as they always do.
Perhaps, you had closed the door on your dreams of having little ones. But, it wasn’t locked; you could open that door once more, when the time was right. Or, perhaps, you’d find another door, another way. However, right now, you would enjoy the idea of a closed door.
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mister-supernova · 4 years ago
Text
Missed Connection
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4
Pairing: Hope Mikaelson x Reader 
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It’s almost been a month since your encounter with the stranger you believed to be from your dreams. Without any luck of seeing her again, you were beginning to think that maybe that’s all she was; just some mere figment of your imagination that you so desperately wanted to have all the answers you needed. 
As insufferably difficult this summer was for you, you still managed to get through it. You thought it was because school wasn’t in session and that you’d be back in your element in no time once classes begin again. 
That was what you had hoped for anyways, but alas even when the halls were filled with your peers and your routine was back in place, nothing seemed to change. The mysterious void in your chest didn’t ease like you wished it would.
You couldn’t help but wonder if your friends had been feeling the same way, too. Surely there’s no chance that you could be alone in this situation, right? 
“You can’t tell me that things haven’t felt a little weird since Landon destroyed Malivore. He doesn’t even know how it happened, Lizzie.” 
The blonde Saltzman nearly whips you in the face with her hair as she abruptly turns to face you in the crowded hallway. “Y/n, we live in a world where witches, werewolves, and vampires exist. Everything in our lives is bound to have a tiny amount of weirdness.”
She made a good point and you knew that, but you also knew that this feeling was different. It had to be. 
Lizzie frowns at the disappointed look on your face and rests a comforting hand on your shoulder, “Look, the most important thing is that Malivore is gone. No more bizarre monsters coming to kill us every week. Now try to stop overthinking things and let’s get through this school year in peace.”  
Before you knew it, your conversation ended just as quickly as it started and Lizzie was on her way back to class. You hang your head with a defeated sigh, desperately searching the hallway for someone who may be just as lost as you were. Instead, you see everyone going about their first day back like normal. 
Students who were away with their families are now smiling brightly as they reunite with friends. Other groups of friends laugh at a joke another says as they pass you by and you wonder if there was someone you should be doing that with.
The clarity that you sought out today only made you more confused than ever. At this point you wished that it was still summer vacation because seeing your classmates having a great first day back had you thinking that you really were alone with your feelings.  
Maybe you just needed a day to hang out with your friends after class today. They may not share your thoughts on how odd things have felt recently, but being around them definitely helps clear your head. 
“I’m sorry, Y/n. You know Landon and I would be down to watch a movie or something, but we’re going on our official first date today.” Josie tells you, disheartened. 
After the multitude of movie dates the two of them shared throughout the summer, you’re surprised that none of those had been labeled as dates, but you weren’t going to tell her that outloud. The two of them seem to be really happy to be spending so much time together and you weren’t going to get in the middle and be the third wheel no one wants, especially on a first date. 
“No worries, Jo. I’ll ask Lizzie and MG if they’re free.” She gives you a gentle squeeze on your arm with a sympathetic smile before you go off to find her sister. 
Things didn’t seem to be going to plan here either.
“If I hadn’t already agreed to this stupid- I mean,” she grits her teeth with a forced smile, “very cool study date with MG I’d totally hang out with you. God knows I’d rather do anything else.” You knew you weren’t supposed to hear that last part, but Lizzie was always awful at lowering her voice. 
If you weren’t already feeling distraught, this definitely was the cherry on top of your depressing cake of sadness. 
Instead of showing Lizzie that, you plastered the fakest smile you could and responded with, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just… hang out downtown and get myself a milkshake at the Grill or something.” 
Plan “get your friends to distract you from the abrasive thoughts penetrating your brain” had failed, but you weren’t going to let it stop you from at least getting out of the school for a couple of hours. With everyone so busy while classes are back in session, it made you wonder what in the world you did after school before this year. 
As much as you tried hyping up how fun it was going to be hanging out downtown by yourself, it only made you feel even more bummed out. Like everything else you’ve been doing since the night Malivore was destroyed, something felt off and nothing seemed to be your remedy.
Minutes turned to hours and you ended up drinking four full glasses of cookies and cream milkshakes at the Grill, literally falling into a sugar coma at your table outside. The sun was barely setting when you got here, but then it was fully dark out when you were woken up from your sugar rush nap. 
“Jesus, Y/n. I thought you were dead or something.” You lean your head upwards to see that it was Landon who woke you from your slumber. 
“One could not be so lucky, phoenix boy.” You groggily respond, stretching out your muscles and wiping any drool from your cheeks.
Looking at your surroundings, you notice that Josie isn’t around. 
“Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?” 
There’s a pained look on Landon’s face at your question, “Yeah, about that… she, uh, she said she wasn’t feeling too good and decided to go back to the school.” 
You raise an eyebrow at him, “What, did you take her to eat sushi or something?” 
That was meant to be a joke, but the look of realization on the curly-haired boy’s face told you all you needed to know. 
“You went to a sushi place.” 
Landon quickly slides into the seat across from yours, “It’s what I suggested. W-Was I not supposed to?”  
“Jo can’t digest any sort of raw food without wanting to convulse. I learned that the hard way when I first started going to the Salvatore school,” you shiver at the memory, “Never again.” 
The phoenix begins falling into a full state of panic, “Oh my God. I didn’t know that! Wh-What am I supposed to do? What if I completely ruined everything? What if she never wants to go on another date with me again? What if-” 
Your patience was thinning very quickly, “Landon, just relax. Take a breather for a second,” you inhale, watching him do the same, and breathe out at the same time, “Go back to the school, check up on her, have a convo about getting some better communication skills and I’m sure everything will be fine.” 
Landon nods, “Okay, okay yeah. That’s good. I’ll, uh, I’ll do that,” he continues to sit across from you until you look at him expectantly, “Do I do that now?”
“For your sake, Josie’s, and especially mine, yes. Now would be great, buddy.” 
“Right, okay. Thanks, Y/n!” He scrambles out of his seat and begins to shuffle away from the Grill. 
“Go get ‘em, Tiger!” You shout with as much enthusiasm you could muster before slumping back into your chair. 
Still dazed from the sugar rush nap and exhausted from that conversation, you lean forward with your elbows on the table and begin wiping the sleep from your eyes using the palms of your hands.
“This is gonna be one hell of a year.”  
“Long day, huh?” You recognize that it’s a girl’s voice you’re hearing, but not one that was familiar to you. 
Moving your hands away from blocking your view, you look up to see the person you convinced yourself was just a figment of your imagination. The long auburn colored hair, fair-skinned, blue eyed girl from your dreams was standing right before you. For a moment, you thought that maybe you really had lost it. 
“Sorry. I just, I saw you sitting here earlier and thought you might want company.”
You’re almost positive that you were staring at her with your mouth hanging open like an absolute idiot. Just say something, dumbass!
“Mind if I join you?” She asks, gesturing towards the now empty chair that Landon left behind. 
“Yes!” 
Idiot! 
“I mean no! No, I uh, I don’t mind.” You chuckle nervously, adjusting yourself in every way possible to hide the fact that you were internally freaking out.
The girl gives you a patient smile before taking the seat in front of you, “So, party of one tonight, huh? I mean, I saw you finish talking to someone right now, but it didn’t seem you two were here together.” 
“Yeah, no. Not together at all or with anyone really,” for some reason you had to make this very clear to her, “That was just a friend of mine who’s having some lady troubles, so I decided to be a good samaritan and give him some positive advice.”
“How chivalrous of you.” Right away you could tell that she was teasing and the nerves you had seconds ago simply began to vanish. 
“Why thank you,” you smile, feeling a wave of warmth when she returns one back, “But yeah, it’s just been me, myself, and I for the night… and day… and probably for the rest of the school year if I’m honest.”
Her smile fades and she tilts her head inquisitively, “What makes you say that?” 
Oh, where to begin. 
“I’ve been asking myself that for a while now actually. Everything should feel perfect given the fact that I have these amazing friends, I go to this incredible school, I’m 100% healthy and not dying of anything that I know of,” you shrug at yourself, “I should be happy with that, but I’m not. It feels so selfish of me to say and I wish I could fix it, but I can’t. How can everything be so close to perfect, but yet there’s still something wrong?” 
The girl stares at you with such empathy and sadness in her eyes that you could swear she was holding something back. 
You continue, “Things also haven’t felt normal lately. My definition of normal anyways. For some reason everything has felt completely off, like I’m missing something. You know when you forget that there’s somewhere you’re supposed to be? Like an event and you don’t realize you’ve forgotten about it until the day of and you say to yourself, ‘oh shit, I can’t believe I forgot about this really important thing’. That’s how I’ve felt ever since summer started,” you notice her tense up slightly, but you continue, “but I can’t remember what I’m forgetting.”
At this point, you were surprised this girl didn’t think you were crazy and start running for the hills. If this were any normal stranger, you wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to overshare the thoughts you’ve been keeping secret from your close friends. For some reason, she made you feel the complete opposite. Strangely enough--given the world you live in--you felt safe with her.
“Everyone at school is making me feel like I’m the only person who feels this way. Everyone else can go back to normal. Everyone else can move on and go on dates and study dates and hang out with their friends and go to class without feeling lost and overall just be… normal.” You finally let go of the breath you had been holding in for what feels like months.
Then you start to laugh at the ridiculousness that just spewed out of your mouth, “Jesus Christ. I’m so sorry. You probably thought you were going to have an innocent ‘nice weather we’re having’ type of conversation, but instead you got a stranger dumping their whole life crisis onto you.” 
“You really don’t have to apologize. Trust me, I understand how insanely messed up life can get and how relieving it is to just vent it all out,” she gives you a reassuring nod with a genuine look of understanding that you’ve been wanting to see for months, “Even if it’s to someone who can potentially be a serial killer.” 
The both of you burst out into a fit of laughs and you swear that you’ve never felt so connected to a person you just met. It was as if your souls had met in another life and were catching up for the first time in a while. Neither of you had a name to place with your faces, but that didn’t seem matter because you already felt like you’ve known this girl for years. 
“I’ve had quite a rough couple of months myself. Not sure if I’d binge drink four cookies and cream milkshakes to numb the pain though.” 
You shrug, “Well, it’s better than the latter option that I can’t even legally purchase because I’m underage. Plus, it helps that these are the best milkshakes in town--even if they are 4 dollars a glass.” 
Now you’re hoping that your old co-worker can cover your bill since you only brought ten dollars with you tonight. Before you could reach for your wallet just to be sure, another thought crossed your mind. 
“Wait. How did you know they were cookies and cream? I know it’s a lot of milk to force inside by body, but I normally leave no trace of evidence behind. Are you a witch or something?” That last part was obviously a joke otherwise she’d be at your school by now.
The girl opens her mouth to speak, but it takes her a moment to come up with an explanation, “It was my best friend’s favorite. Yeah, we used to go out for milkshakes all the time and I guess something about you reminds me of them.” 
You smile, flattered, “Well, might I say, your best friend has amazing taste,” she purses her lips into a tightened smile and lowers her gaze, almost as is the memories of this said ‘best friend’ pained her to think about, “I’m assuming things aren’t so great with them right now?”
She sighs at the thought, “We were close for a long time. I’m actually surprised that they stayed as long as they did. I probably gave them a million reasons to bail, but they were annoyingly persistent,” she chuckles, “I’ll admit, it took me a while to settle into our friendship, but the moment I did was something I would never regret. From that point on the only thing that could separate us was death.” 
Judging by her heavy use of past tense words, you could only think the worst happened, “Did they, you know, um…?” You didn’t want to ask the full question seeing that she was clearly still hurt by the absence of this person. 
She shakes her head, “No. No, it turned out death wasn’t the only factor that was able to keep us apart. We meant a lot to each other and later realized that there was more to us than just friendship. Eventually, things started becoming serious but me being the person I am, I pushed them away and left.”
“Have you tried reaching out to them again?” You thought that there was no way two people who felt those intense feelings could completely forget about each other.
“Once, but things changed. They took one look at me and acted as if I never existed.” Maybe it was the empath in you, but it broke your heart seeing a small pool of tears building up in her eyes. You wished that you could say something to make her feel better and tell her that everything will be okay, but how could you when you don’t know her?
She quickly wipes the tears before they could fall and takes in a deep breath that you instinctively mirrored to compose yourselves. 
“I guess it’s my turn to say sorry, huh? I feel like my baggage was a little heavier than yours there,” she sniffs, huffing out a light chuckle. 
“Well, if we’re giving out medals here, you’ve got the gold. That’s for sure,” you grin, hoping to lighten up the mood.
Her laugh--that you could tell was genuine--gave you the assurance you needed. 
“I feel like I should give you a hug. I mean, if you’re cool with that,” you suggest, ready to push yourself out of your seat, “Because I could kind of use one and I’m just assuming--” 
“That would be great, yeah,” the girl nods with a relieved smile. 
“Alright, great.”
The two of you stand, moving around the table to meet each other in the middle. Her head seemed to fit perfectly against your chest as her arms pressed behind your back. All of the weight that had been piling up on your shoulders began to fall at your feet and the tension from stress that built up inside your chest began fading away. How this could happen from an interaction with a complete stranger, you had absolutely no idea. 
“Is it weird if I say this doesn’t feel weird?” You ask with the side of your head leaned against hers. 
“Well, I think things are only weird when someone makes it weird.” 
You pause for a moment, “Do you think this feels weird?”
She laughs and you know for a fact that she could hear your heart skip a beat, “No. I don’t.”
You fight the goofy grin from appearing on your face, but fail miserably, “Okay, good.” 
Part of you was afraid of what’ll happen the moment you separate. You had no idea when would be the next time you see this girl or if there was going to be a next time. This was the first day in a while when you didn’t feel lost, instead you felt that this was exactly where you needed to be. You felt normal.
Before you could actually start making things weird, you begin to pull away from her embrace, “Well, tonight I learned that I can click with a stranger within a span of ten minutes give or take, so thank you for that.”
She smiles, “Thank you, too.”
“I think it’s safe to say that we’re at the point of learning each other’s names now.” 
“Yes, because why start with those when we could just tell our whole life stories and share an intimate hug first?”
“Exactly! Actually, you know what? I think we should get married in Vegas really quick and we’ll just figure out our names during the vows section of the wedding ceremony. Whatever we come up with in the moment will just be how we refer to each other for the rest of our lives,” you joke. 
“You’re absolutely right.” Wow, a girl who can keep up with your sarcasm without thinking you’re a complete--huge emphasis on complete--idiot? She is the girl of your dreams--literally and metaphorically. 
You stared down at her in wonder, hoping to God that you’re not dreaming and that this interaction has been real, “It’s, uh, it’s Y/n by the way. My name. Y/n L/n.” 
“Hope. Hope Marshall,” she reveals and a victorious smile appears on your lips when you finally have a name to match a face. 
Your smile quickly drops when the clock tower starts going off and you realize that it’s nearly midnight, “Well, it’s been a pleasure meeting you tonight, Hope. I'm sorry to cut the rest of the evening short, but my school just got a new headmaster and unfortunately he’s a lot more strict on our curfew than our previous one. Don’t want to turn into a pumpkin, you know?” 
She chuckles, “No worries at all. It was nice meeting you, too, Y/n,” Hope smiles and you can tell that she didn’t want to leave. If you were being honest, you really didn’t want to either. 
Neither of you could find the energy to be the first person to walk away. To do that would be like trying to separate two annoyingly strong and stubborn magnets apart.
As much as you wanted to spend the whole night learning more about each other, you also didn’t want to be put in detention on the first day back at school. 
Unwillingly, you take the first step backwards without wanting to fully turn away from your newfound acquaintance, “Thanks again for the chat. I hope to see you again very soon, Marshall.”  
Hope rolls her eyes, but can’t contain a smile, “Only if you’re lucky.”
“I think I like my chances,” you wink playfully before turning your heel to make your way back to the school feeling the most energized you’ve felt in a long time.
~
apologies for the later update than usual with this series and I apologize in advance if it takes a while for part 6 to be posted. I’m in a bit of a writing funk right now and my mind is currently locked onto the Wilds soooo there may or may not be imagines for that fandom coming from me soon. anyways, happy late 2021 and here’s to hoping this year isn’t complete shit! much love y’all
taglist: @chicken-wang09​ @trikruismybitch​ @sodangtired​
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