#it just makes me uncomfortable to hear that despite my friends possibly believing it
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satellitedarling · 4 months ago
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haha god listening to music and having scenarios in your head is so fun, yes the scenarios are about a hypothetical good relationship with my parents why do you ask
#vent#idk i feel like i have no one to turn to#like my parents are there but relying on them feels like walking on eggshells and hiding the effects of my transition#also one of them is just a plain Disney movie antagonist to be honest#hi also i am not depressed i swear! just very sad for some reason#im content with my life#in a sense i dont want to have to see anyone ever again#just rot away in my flat forever and ever and not have to worry about conflict or agression from the people in my life#maybe im selfish idk#the earth is the home of everybody on earth#not just me#also human connections? so hard!!!#i think i may be on the spectrum but im still waiting for the official diagnosis next month#but its like im always uncomfortable around people? like im some sort of strange social parasite who does everything ever wrong and is reall#y awkward and nobody liked me ever but also when someone says they do#there's simply nothing? as if they were inly words to me#and it's not only that i dont believe it possible#but also that i just dont know the feeling#it just makes me uncomfortable to hear that despite my friends possibly believing it#it's not their fault#but i just feel like there's a barrier between me and everyone#or maybe that I'm like just some minor occurance in all these wonderful people and i disappear from their lives as quickly as i arrived?#i dont know how to feel content truthfully#walking znd listening to music can only keep me pensive for so long#i just want to be comfortable sometimes#spend a few minutes not worrying#actually accepting care and love#being deadweight if only for one short while#and not hating myself for days afterwards
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bugboioli23 · 1 year ago
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Swerve x Human!Reader
Disclaimer: I haven't written fic for a few years so my skills are gonna be a bit shit to be honest, any criticism is welcome and id love to hear what you guys think 💚
THIS IS 18+ - size difference, valveplug, oral sex, fingerfucking, doggy style, riding - 2911 words - AFAB reader but no pronouns are used
You and Swerve had been friends since you stepped foot on the Lost Light. Something about his chatterbox personality and sitcom-like humor had you beaming whenever you were around him. The best nights were spent perched on the edge of the bar counter, rambling for hours on end with Swerve. Tonight was one of those nights. It was after the doors had closed, the bar empty and silent aside from the laughter ricocheting from the both of you. 
“Really?!” You yelped, eyes wide in surprise as you stared at the grinning minibot.
“I'm telling you! You wouldn't believe the amount of mechs who come by here asking for you!” Swerve replied with a chuckle, shaking his helm in shared disbelief. “Not only that but they actually think they could frag you! I'm probably one of the few bots on here who could frag you full sized.” Swerve paused, face freezing for a second as he quickly backtracked on his statement. “I mean- not that we would- NOT THAT I WOULDN'T WANT TO- I'm sure you’d make a lovely frag- NOT LIKE THAT- I JUST MEANT- im sorry- ” Swerve seemed to shrink in on himself as he continued to mumble to himself anxiously.
Your face burned red at the idea. The thought of a bot being stuffed between your folds, trembling at the foreign sensation of the wet flesh of your cunt. You wondered about the anatomy that laid hidden under the panels of your metallic friends. How similar are you compared to them? Just how compatible are your species? You already had gotten an enlightening talk from Brainstorm about Cybertronian anatomy after you explained human anatomy to him. (For his holoforms of course. No other reason.) You knew what you could take, but the fresh reality that this could happen left blood rushing south. 
“Uhm…  ____? You good? I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable or anything. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, I’m sorry.” Swerve looked at you apologetically. His light pout and the puppy eyes you could barely see behind his visor brought forth images that made warmth surge through your body once more. How would Swerve act if you asked him to fuck you? He seemed like the type of Cybertronian who wouldn’t mind a little experimenting with humans. He seemed like the type to whimper; the type to beg. 
Heat flushed through your face as reality caught back up to you. You flashed him a bright smile and waved your hand dismissively.
“Don’t worry about me, I’m alright. Just thinking.” You glanced at Swerve, who looked unconvinced. “Hey, weren’t you and Blurr going to open a bar before you came here?” You asked out of nowhere, hoping to turn his attention onto something else. It seemed to work because he was already telling you about how Blurr was secretly his best friend. While the bartender was distracted, you let your thoughts turn back to the ideas at hand. You found Swerve to be adorable, the way he seemed to always work with a smile despite people talking poorly about him. His fascination with your species’ tv and music and how he would light up when you offered another film for movie nights. After tonight’s conversation, you decided it’s now or never to shoot your shot with him.
“Swerve?” You looked him up and down with a smile, interjecting his speech on Blurr’s latest record break. “Do you think fragging a human would be possible?” You spoke sweetly, letting your voice fall an octave to emphasize your intentions. 
“Uhm, wouldn't Ratchet be better at answering that than I would?” Swerve thought he was hearing things. In his mind there was no possible way that you just asked what you had asked. His head must've made that up. It had to be some kind of self inflicted auditory hallucination. The way you smiled softly and rested a hand on his arm before leaning closer must also be a trick of the optics.
“Swerve, darling. I asked you for a reason.” You replied coyly, glancing up at him with an endearing grin. He felt his intake hitch and a sliver of charge run down his frame. 
“Oh.” He choked out, face tinted with the rush of energon. His cooling fans kicked on with just the mere suggestion of what tonight could entail. “I- I suppose we could- figure it out…” He grinned shyly.
“That’s a good mech.” You purred, wide grin never faltering as you hopped down from the counter. You sauntered out of the bar with a new sense of confidence, only pausing to gesture to him to follow before the doors closed behind you. Swerve had to take a minute to collect his thoughts before practically sprinting after you.
Your habsuite was uniquely modified for your species. Instead of a hard metal berth, you had a cushy soft bed adorned with a mass of plushies, pillows and blankets. Soft lighting glowed from lower points in the room instead of one harsh light from above. It had your special charm to it, and Swerve wanted to spend every moment he could in there with you. 
“So,” You started plopping yourself down on the edge of your bed, patting the spot next to you, “I’m going to skip all the pleasantries here, I want you to fuck me.”
Swerve let out a whine, feeling a surge of arousal flooding through his systems. His spike pressurized quickly, becoming heavy behind his panels with an embarrassingly loud thud. “Did you have to be so bold about it?” He hissed through clenched dentae as you gazed at him with desire. 
“I think it’s more fun to watch your reactions.” You hummed contentedly before climbing into his lap, “Can I kiss you? Would that be okay?” You spoke softly, but your eyes never left his face. Swerve nodded hastily, servos hovering above your body anxiously. His intake opened to start a flood of questions but you cut him off with a kiss, exploring the foreign texture of his pliable metallic face. The strange rubbery feeling of his glossa felt wonderfly new against the soft muscle of your tongue. You let out a soft noise of pleasure against his mouth before you were interrupted by a snap of panels retracting and an enticing pressure laying heavy on your thigh. 
“Oh- Slag, sorry I- you’re so- I wasn’t able to-,” Swerve began, but you pressed a finger to his lips as you looked down to study the new part of him. It was about 8 inches long, the red tip of it already leaking prefluids. It was mostly white, with a stripe of red along the underside decorated with biolights which pulsed needily. You trailed your hand lightly along the length, your fingers barely unable to touch around the girth of it. You looked back up at Swerve who was hiding behind his servos, face tinted pink with energon. 
“Listen… I know I’m not as big as other bots but please… don’t stop whatever you were planning to do.” Swerve mumbled shyly, peeking at you between his digits.
“Oh, hun. You don’t have to worry about anything. You’ve got more than enough for me to enjoy.” You smiled, sliding off his lap to kneel between his legs. “May I?” You asked, wanting to explore his anatomy further. 
He let out a shaky exvent with a nod and you ran your fingers along the grooves and panels of the Cybertronian anatomy. It wasn’t until you had gotten eye level with his spike that you had noticed his valve. It was dripping with transfluid and the hooded node was glowing a beautiful blue. You looked up at him from your position, eyes full of lust. 
“Change of plans. Lean back for me, I’ve gotta taste you.” You purred, firmly pushing against his midsection lightly as he rested his back against the wall of pillows. You gently pushed his thighs open and trailed two fingers against the slick folds of his valve, coating your fingers in the sticky substance. You studied your digits before popping them into your mouth. The pink fluid was metallic and sour, but addicting in a strange way. You wanted more. Spreading his folds with one hand, you delved into his valve. Swerve watched, entranced by the way you slid the flat of your tongue against him. The sensation made him let out soft groans, which encouraged you more. You took your other hand and gently circled his anterior node, ghosting the edges of it teasingly. Your tongue dove into his entrance and you felt the inner calipers twitch and throb with need. 
“Oh frag… you’re good a-at this. I’m- hnghh… I don’t have enough stamina for t-this!” Swerve whined as you moved the hand separating his folds and you backed away from his plush valve.
“Don’t worry, you are doing so good. Just lie back and let me take care of you, okay?” You cooed and went back to lapping at the transfluid that fell from his folds. One hand finally gave his anterior node pressure while your other hand went up to stroke at his spike lazily. The result of your combined actions had Swerve clawing at the sheets, his intake falling open as he gasped and mewled out so many words you couldn’t tell what he was saying until it was too late. 
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Warm fluid gushed over your face as he overloaded while you were still tongue deep in his valve. His spike throbbed in your hand as you felt more transfluid land in your hair and shoulder. 
“FRAG- Ah- hah…!” Swerve whined as his frame trembled through the aftershocks. “Oh slag im so sorry!” His visor came back online just in time to witness your mouth and jaw covered in dripping pink fluids.
You licked your lips and wiped your face with your shirt before taking it off and tossing it aside. “Hey.. hey no worries. It’s okay. You’re okay.” You kissed his cheek, patting his thigh softly. “You did amazing. I’m so glad I could make you feel good.” 
Swerve let out another high whine, seeing your chest bare before him. He slowly raised his servos to graze the flesh around your nipples. You sighed softly and raised your hands to press his servos more firmly to your skin. Swerve was still panting from his previous overload but he leaned in to press his lips gently against your sternum. His servos wandered up to press and massage at your nipples, circling them like you did to his node earlier. Your back arched, pushing your chest further into his servos as your mouth fell open softly. Swerve looked up at you, visor glowing with excitement and awe. “You’re stunning. I mean- frag, look at you, coated with my overload. Mine…” He breathed out, eyes trailing down your body to rest at your pants. He seemed to swallow before shakily continuing. “D-Do you still want me t-to..you know.. t-”
“I still want you to fuck me, Swerve.” You finished for him, moving your hands to swiftly undo the buttons of your pants, pulling off your undergarments at the same time and tossing them behind you. You grabbed onto his wrist and guided his fingers up towards your wet folds. Swerve got the hint and gently worked one finger into the tight heat of your cunt. He could feel the gentle pulse and pull of your walls around his digit, and he could barely imagine what it would feel like around his spike. After he felt you loosen up a bit, he slid in a second digit. You let out a gasp and a soft groan at the stretch, knowing that this was just the beginning if you wanted to be prepared to take his spike. 
Swerve gently curled and flexed his digits, exploring your sex thoroughly as his processor worked overtime to memorize which movements felt the best for you. His audials turned to max sensitivity to be sure he could hear every whine and murmur of praise that fell from your lips. He could feel the second rush of energon repressurising his spike the more he pumped his digits into you. You glanced down between the both of you to smirk at his array before leaning in and pressing another kiss to his jaw.
“Awh, look at you,” You cooed, lifting your hips up to grind the tip of his spike against your clit. Swerve let out a strained whine as his hips bucked up involuntarily. Your smirk only grew. “You’re such a pretty mech for me.”
“Hnf s-stop…” Swerve whispered bashfully, turning his helm away as energon rushed to his faceplates once more.
“I mean it.” You continued, slowly easing yourself down on his spike as you guided his gaze to meet yours. Swerve’s intake fell open and his spinal struts arched as your body enveloped his length. His servos flew to your hips when he finally bottomed out inside you. The heat of your cunt pressed upon every sensor and node on his spike with such certainty that he could barely concentrate on your words. 
“Hhoh fraggghh, how are you s-so- so-ooHHFRAG-” Swerve had started to speak but you decided that now was the time to lift your hips and slam yourself back down. You started to ride the mech like an animal, your hips popping up halfway only to quickly push him back inside. Swerve let out a chorus of moans and yelps as his servos twitched against the soft plush of your thighs, squeezing every now and then to ground himself. It wasn’t until your legs started to burn that you were reminded of something. You quickly stopped your movements and grinned down at Swerve as he abruptly gasped and looked at you with a beautiful expression of desperation. 
“Wh-why- why’dya stop?” Swerve asked, his speech slurred from the sudden absence of pleasure.
“Sorry, but I just remembered that you’re the one who’s supposed to be fucking me.” You pulled yourself off of his spike and he let out a pathetic mewl at the loss of your body. His pout was quickly wiped from his face when he witnessed you getting down on all fours and slyly shaking your hips at him. You turned to smirk over your shoulder at him as he gawked at you. Not another second had passed before Swerve was on top of you, his spike easily finding its way back into your slick folds. He started pounding into you, the weight of his body pressing down nicely on your back as he mounted you.
“Mnh, there you go, good boy Swerve.” You moaned out as his spike pistoned in and out of you, shoving your body into the mattress. Swerve was brought to a mindless ramble as your pussy sucked him in deeper and tightened around him.
“Ahfraggingprimusyouretight-“ Swerve whimpered as you clenched around him harder. Your body trembled as you felt his spike throb inside you. Swerve hovered over you, intertwining his servos over your fingers as he thrust into you rapidly. “F-Frag, ____ I’m not gonna l-last much longer-“
“Good, keep going. I want you to fill me with your transfluid. Overload in me like the good mech you are.” You grinned against the mattress, turning to look at him smugly, reaching down between your legs to rub at your clit. Swerve leaned down to mewl and whine against the back of your neck as he chased his own pleasure, pushing your hips further up with every pump of his hips. 
“Fuck, Swerve- I’m-!“ You felt your eyes roll back at the drag of his thickness against your walls and you let out a filthy moan as you hit your climax. You felt the slick of your cum coat his panels as your sex tightened  around him. The whimper that left his vocalizer was angelic as he let his spike empty itself within you. Thick ropes of transfluid coated your insides, the warm sensation of sheer fullness bringing you back down from your high. Your body continued to pulse around his spike, milking him of the last of his overload as he gave a few final lazy thrusts. 
The two of you lay there panting for a while before he slowly pulled out of you, watching in awe as his cum started to slide down your thighs. You slowly turned and sat up, feeling your combined fluids seeping out of you and onto the sheets. 
“Ah… that was… let me get you a towel.” Swerve gasped, stepping to the closet to grab a towel to wipe you down with, wetting it with warm water before gently cleaning you. He lifted and placed you on the other side of the bed, putting the used towel over the wet spot after cleaning and closing his panels. 
You stared at the red and white mech with unveiled adoration as he finally sat next to you again. You leaned in and peppered his face with kisses as he gently rubbed your thigh. 
“Swerve, you do know how to keep your mouth shut about some things, right?” You murmured sleepily, hoping the bartender could keep his mouth shut for at least a week or two before word got out that the human is a mechfucker.
“Uhuh, yeah. Definitely.” Swerve nodded with determination. You sighed with a small smile, already accepting that your next appearance in the bar would not be the same after this.
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luminique · 28 days ago
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Fate, Hollows, Grief and Lighter.
cw // mentions of death, angst, comfort. 4.8k words, not proofread, lighter x gn reader. happy birthday lighter !
You don’t have to be an expert to understand that hollows are confusing. There’s a lot of mystery that goes around them despite the amount of resources that is put into its research. Everyday, it’s some new discovery, some new technology, some new treatment related to them. You told Burnice to switch through the other channels on the mini television at the bar, you didn’t get much of the newer shows in the Outer Ring but you did get the boring news channel.
“Joining us for today’s program is Miss Hoshimi Miyabi from the Hollow Special Operations Section 6. I believe that she needs little to no introduction as your team has been making the rounds online with the most recent case,” a man wearing a black suit, presumably the host, guided the camera over to the thiren next to him with his hand. You’ve seen her before, the proxies that the Sons of Calydon have worked with also mentioned Section 6 as one of their clients. Not everyone can just step into a hollow, even the proxies themselves don’t go in there willingly.
After a moment of silence between the host and Hoshimi Miyabi, the man finally breaks the ice. “Well, we are not here to discuss the controversy; however, there has been a recent discovery regarding the hollows. According to the White Star Institute, your team was able to control Hollow Zero and noticed how time was affected in there. Can you please elaborate on that?” The host was clearly uncomfortable by her quiet demeanor, thinking he’d be interviewing someone who was not as unapproachable as her.
Time, huh? That’s nothing new, even the Tour de Inferno had improved its recording equipment in order to reduce the delay between the inside and outside of the hollow. “Yes, due to its high ether energy, Hollow Zero has the ability to manipulate time, causing us to fight ethereals we had initially already taken down.” The fox thiren finally spoke, her voice was clear and confident, fitting for a chief. The host beamed at her answer, you could see the worry in his eyes when she took a moment to respond to him. “Were there any other anomalies aside from that? The claim coming from the White Star Institute is rather large and I believe that viewers at home would love to hear your experience.”
Lighter notices you staring at the screen intently, it was a rare sight for you to be so engrossed in such a show. He taps the counter a couple of times as he sat on the stool next to you, Burnice immediately understood what that gesture meant. His hand came up to your side, resting it on your hip. “Didn’t know you were into this kind of thing,” his smooth voice cut through your train of thought. You barely even noticed him, finally back from a few small fights but barely even a scratch on his face.
“They’re talking about hollows, those proxy friends of yours should know more about it than this old man on the screen.” you pointed the remote at the screen, not changing the channel though. “My deputy chief, Tsukishiro, found herself reliving a moment from her past relating to another member of my team. Asaba said that he was beginning to see the same ethereal over and over again. For me, on the other hand….” a moment of silence from the young lady as her hands gripped on her neat skirt. “I was able to see other possibilities of my past decisions and how they’d affect my current self.” Her usual commanding voice began to sound slightly weak and shaky yet her expression never faltered.
It slowly clicked in your head. This new discovery was not the simple time manipulation that had been publicly known for years, it was instead a lot more complex. A lot scarier, a lot more complicated and even went into the realm of alternate timelines. Was that even possible? Time travel and theories of alternate timelines have been one of humankind’s biggest questions. Would this not have been found out earlier while researching other hollows? Every smaller hollow around Eridu came from the existence of Hollow Zero, what made those any different?
You turn to look at Lighter, his usual laid back demeanor now mirrored yours. He hadn’t even touched his drink once since Miyabi had spoken. “Now look who’s the one staring at the TV,” you teased as you pushed on his shoulder lightly. His sunglasses slipped down his nose bridge, he cleared his throat as he pushed his shades up. “I just thought it was interesting, nothing more,” he pretended to not show how much that information meant to him.
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If you could do it all over again, would you? The opportunity was presented right at him, albeit from a boring show on the TV. Rarely was it ever on this channel, as Burnice would normally choose to have it on some sort of sports or music channel. However, she’d listen to her customer in front of her and on this early evening, it was only you sitting there.
The thought was intriguing, he did have a higher ether aptitude than most. Venturing into hollows alone, with a carrot, wasn’t anything new to him, especially not after the passing of his fallen comrades. He doesn’t know exactly where they were last but he’d often bring flowers to where he found their dog tags, at least he knew they were there at one point. He knew that time worked differently inside the hollows, communication becoming an issue inside and outside of it, but he didn’t know anything more than that was capable.
No, no. He can’t just go into Hollow Zero and come out unscathed like it’s a normal fight. He could live his whole life not knowing what would’ve happened if he had chosen to go with them but the knowledge that he can, at least, see its possibility… that was eating at him. After you had teased him, the idea was still there. Who wouldn’t want to know what happened during that one moment in their life? Who wouldn’t want to know the answer to ‘what if’ and ‘if only’? He shook his head, trying to get rid of the curiosity building up in him.
Cold glass, the refreshing drink that he had gotten accustomed to since joining the Sons of Calydon now tasted bitter. No lollipop in his pocket to distract him from his thoughts. Another harsh swallow, he placed the glass back on the counter. “Do you want another glass? Maybe some Nitro-Fuel instead?” Burnice’s cheerful self was always ready to fill a glass up despite knowing that he doesn’t prefer the taste of Nitro-Fuel on its own. Now though, it sounded just perfect to make him forget this information.
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Night time came, the howling winds kept Lighter awake. Usually he would have passed out already from the amount of Nitro-Fuel he drank but for some odd reason, he couldn’t now. It wasn’t odd at all, he knew why he was awake. Haunted by the memories of a not-so-distant past, the voices of his comrades rang in his ears as he got up from his bed. His bright red scarf that contrasted his usual outfit, was now stuffed deeply into his jacket. The soft clinging of the dog tags were now muffled by his scarf, his heavy footsteps making his way out to his bike. The only way to forget is to completely kill a man, erase his memories and the possibilities that he can come up with.
With his past as mercenary leader, getting to Hollow Zero wasn’t a mystery. Many have gone there in hopes of getting rich, finding some sort of ethereal matter, or maybe searching for whatever was left of the person they once were. Dodging a few military bases, back roads and, going through smaller hollows, Lighter found himself right at the edge of Hollow Zero. There were a few close calls on his way here, but nothing a Carrot can’t solve. The convenience of modern technology, able to find the safest route out and predict any new changes in the course of being in the Hollow. If only they could predict the possibility of his friends passing that day.
He parked his bike, brought the little bangboo off his bike and took a deep breath. “Lighter…” He heard the faint whispers of his name as he stepped into the pitch black sphere, the voices sounded oddly familiar to him. An older breathier male voice, a deeper younger male voice, and a reassuring female voice all coming together to call for his name. No, he can’t be hearing things. He was still young and had just entered the hollow. Signs of corruption did not include hallucinations, nor did it include any sort of hearing problems. He ventured deeper into the hollow, bangboo by his side to make sure he’d make his way out.
Ethereals came at him but they were no match, one after another. A swift punch before landing his finishing blows on them, he dusted off the little bits of burnt etheric matter off his shoulders. “Lighter! There you are!” He immediately prepared himself for another fight, quickly looking around for the source of that voice. No ethereal was in sight however, maybe it was paranoia striking him once more. He decided to take a break somewhere off to the side, taking a serum to reduce ether corruption. He closed his eyes, the rubble of the Fallen Eridu surrounding him as he was taken back to his days of a mercenary leader.
He remembers it like it was just yesterday. The smiles on their face, the laughter, the drinks, the bets, everything that your typical mercenary group does. They were his comrades, his friends, his family at the time. He was still new to leading a team, choosing to go for the higher paying jobs in the hollows rather than outside work. He’d come back with a few bruises here and there, getting patched up while trying to split up the money they received. The hands of Dane scruffing Lighter’s hair, or Nick reminding him to stop smoking, or Ratena drinking another pint of Nitro-Fuel with him. He could see and feel those memories so vividly…
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“We’ll be heading out now, Boss.” Dane gave a hearty pat on Lighter’s shoulder, a firm goodbye grip to tell him to rest. Lighter chuckled as Dane finally let go,“It still sounds weird…” he added on, believing that such a title isn’t fit for him just yet. “Ratena, you got the med kit ready?” He asked the tomboy-looking female who was always prepared when it came to injuries. Even his now fractured arm was taken care of by her, proving her deep knowledge in the field of first aid. She nodded towards him with a small wave of her supplies in hand, “All ready, Lighter!” Nick gave a weary smile, one that was oddly energetic for a much older man than everyone else in the group.
“Take care, everyone. Remember what we’re going in there for, retrieve the item and receive our cash,” everyone looked towards their leader, Lighter giving them one last reminder before they headed off. All of their dog tags hung around their necks, reflecting the bright sunlight and Lighter’s own reflection. “Be back safely!” Dane’s little sister began waving goodbye as they watched the team head off straight into the hollow. Lighter knew of the dangers that they could face while in there, especially with the lack of a Carrot. Those don’t go for cheap however, good and reliable info about hollows aren’t easy to come by at low prices.
That final goodbye would serve to be his biggest regret in life. A wound that can never be healed no matter the amount of times he went back to the last place he found their tags. He had called out for them and yet no response, shouting into an endless void. What would’ve happened if he had followed them that day, not heeding their advice and sacrificing himself alongside them. Non-existent answers to a question that has ruined a young man of his own mental freedom.
Boss… Kiddo…. Lighter….
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Was he going insane again? He opened his eyes, expecting to see nothing just like before but this time, he was outside of his old mercenary camp. A distant woof could be heard as an eager dog ran right up to him, pouncing onto him. ‘What? This… this isn’t right…’ Lighter thought to himself. Was this some sort of deja vu? A dream of some sort? The dog licks Lighter’s face, excitedly panting and sniffing him. This felt a little too real for him, running his hand through its soft fur.
“Lighter! We got another commission today. Gotta go into this hollow, grab this ‘mysterious item’ and they’re paying us big time,” Dane came up behind him and petted the dog, throwing a small ball to allow Lighter to get up. Lighter turned around, seeing the large man with his familiar beanie towering over him. He fell back, not believing what he was seeing. Was he dead? They do say that the brain replays the best moments of one’s life before death, but this seemed less like a memory and more like reality.
This was just the day before their deaths, was this his second chance? “I was able to see other possibilities of my past decisions and how they’d affect my current self,” the fox thiren’s experience now making sense as he looked up at his should-be-dead companion. “U-uh yeah. Dane, sorry but I don’t think we should accept this mission,” Lighter grabbed Dane’s hand, his fractured one still healing in its cast. Dane blinked at his teal-haired leader in confusion, not expecting him to decline such an offer. They walked back into the home, Ratena and Nick coming up to them with big smiles on their faces.
As Ratena tended to Lighter’s fractured arm, they all discussed their plan regarding the new mission. “They said it’s just a box, bring it back safely and then we’ll get paid,” Dane said with lots of enthusiasm, playing around with his little sister. Nick gave a hearty chuckle, petting the dog as he spoke, “It’s not easy, my boy. Look at what happened to Lighter the last time we went into a hollow.” Both men looked over to Lighter, seeing the effects of an ethereal attack and Nick being physically unfit to keep up with the rest of the group. Before Ratena could give her input, Lighter interjected with the knowledge of their future. “I really don’t think we should go. Hollows are dangerous and just like Nick said, ethereals are no joke.” Lighter hoped they would understand him without him needing to explain to them why they shouldn’t go.
Ratena shook her head, “Oh c’mon Lighter, you don’t trust us? We got out safely last time and we made big bucks.” Safely? Was having a fractured arm considered safe? Was bleeding out his side considered safe? “Guys, you can’t be serious.” Lighter was in disbelief, he remembered his initial response in his past. He had agreed wholeheartedly to the offer, thinking that such a huge sum of cash was what they all needed to live better lives. Now with his knowledge, he didn’t want to lose them. Not again, he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice.
“Yeah boss, we know how hard you’re working. You gotta rest up and we’re more than capable of taking down those ethereals.” Dane gave him a wolfish grin, clearly oblivious to why Lighter was so against all of this in the first place. “We’ll leave in the morning, be back by sunset.” Nick had the whole plan laid out on the table, trying his best to reassure their worried leader. Everyone went to their sleeping quarters that night but Lighter couldn’t sleep at all knowing what would happen to them. He laid awake in his cold bed that his body used to find solace in, but now reminded him of the hard shell of a coffin.
Sunlight came streaming through the windows, Lighter was the first to get up, the rest unknown to his lack of sleep. Everything replayed exactly as it did on that fateful day; Dane placing his hand on Lighter’s shoulder, Ratena waving her first aid kit in the air, Nick’s energetic smile that highlighted his wrinkles. He can’t relive this, he can’t let this happen. “W-wait!” They all turned back to him, stopping right in their tracks. Lighter had already told them to take care, what else was there to be said? ‘Don’t die’? ‘Don’t go’? ‘You’ll all die and I won’t be able to find you’? He had recurring nightmares of this exact moment multiple times before this and yet, the words were stuck in his throat. “I’ll miss all of you.” Lighter couldn’t stop them, even if he tried. Fate is cruel in that way, never is it a choice, unable to be changed. As he watched them leave again, tears began to prick his olive eyes. He closed his eyes, trying to blink away those tears but also look away from his regrettable decision.
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The sandpaper-like wet and warm muscle went up Lighter’s cheek again. He blinked open his eyes, seeing the familiar sight of yesterday. Was this some sort of hell? A never-ending cycle of living his lifelong burden he carried with him. As expected, Dane’s voice could be heard once more, grabbing Lighter up from the ground and bringing him back into the camp. As expected, they had planned to take up the offer because money is money and they were mercenaries first and foremost.
He was determined this time. If he couldn’t stop them from going, at the very least he had to make sure to go with them. Ever since that day, he had been yearning for death. If Fate won’t change his friends’ passing, maybe it will be kind enough to change his. “I’ll go along,” Lighter’s confident voice cut through their chatter. “But boss, you’re being stretched thin.” “Your condition still isn’t fit for a mission in a hollow.” “Take it from an old man, you deserve the rest, son.” All of them gave their own concerns to Lighter’s suggestion–arguably, it sounded closer to an order rather than a suggestion–but he didn’t want to listen to them. He was adamant, also having his own power as their leader to push himself into this plan. He was willing to do anything, not caring about his injuries. With little to no luck, they accepted his persistence, each slowly heading off to bed to prepare for the early morning.
He had dreamt of this possibility for days, maybe even months. His body was definitely not in the best shape but if he could spend just a few more minutes with his comrades, his limbs could be torn off by an ethereal and he’d still smile through it all. It all played out exactly as his memories, this time he was joining them. As they walked together towards the hollow, Lighter began to feel dizzy. His vision slowly blurred, however his companions continued to walk forward.
“Dane! Nick! Ratena!” Lighter called out to them, yet they didn’t turn around, not even taking a moment to stop. “No, no, no no no no NO-” He tried running towards them but the distance just kept getting further and further. Running infinitely, trying to catch up to them but with his poor condition and slowly darkening eyesight, he couldn’t continue anymore. He came to a stop, looking down to his feet and seeing something shine in the dust. As he bent down, his eyes widened in surprise. It was their dog tags; Dane, Nick, and Ratenna, but there was one more with its name turned over. Lighter Lorenz. His name. How was that possible? His hand immediately went to his neck, searching for his tag that always hung around there. It wasn’t there. That was his dog tag, on the ground, with the rest of his mercenary companions.
He fell to his knees, understanding the possible outcome of this decision he could’ve made back then. Who would have found these if it weren’t him? Who would carry on their stories if he had gone along with them? What does that mean for his current present self? Questions bounced around in his head, holding those dog tags close to his chest. Tears began to trickle down his face once more, sadness being a common emotion at the end of all of these possibilities.
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As he blinked away those tears, his surroundings had also changed. His bangboo would’ve notified him if he walked into a fissure so there was no way that he did. The setting sun of the Outer Ring burned his pupils, a scenery that he has become more than accustomed to since joining the Sons of Calydon. He hadn’t made any regretful decisions since joining, so there has got to be a reason that he’s experiencing this random day again.
He heard footsteps coming up behind him, followed by the sounds of feminine laughter. Despite being called the Sons of Calydon, it was a biker gang filled with mainly women. Currently, he is their champion, always winning and never turning down a challenge. They all stood side by side next to him, joking and teasing around with each other. “Caesar! Did you use my makeup again?” Lucy was trying her best to pull the tall green-grey haired woman down to her height. Piper barely kept her eyes open while Burnice was drinking another pint of Nitro-Fuel down as they all watched the sunset together.
“I can always buy you more makeup, Lucy.” Lighter offered, his used to be young voice was now a lot deeper. None of them replied to him though; Caesar and Lucy still argued with each other, Piper was trying her best to stand up straight, Burnice started playing her songs. Was he being intentionally ignored? He remembers this moment, him heading out to Lumina Square and there he met you. His life had fully turned around when he joined the Sons of Calydon, understanding what it meant to be a Champion. Not just theirs, but yours as well. He had people he wanted to protect, disasters he wanted to prevent.
Fate played its tricks on him once more. He had his ‘second chance’, choosing to die alongside his comrades and now he had to ‘live’ as a ghost. Lighter was slowly trying to figure out how Hollow Zero was affecting his memories and ‘fate’. None of this was real–he knew that at least–but he had to admit that it felt real. Would he be satisfied with death? Would he be satisfied with his story not having a proper ending? His movie could be hours long, but after 30 minutes, there would be an abrupt black screen.
‘The aim of all life is death. Only there can we find true peace.’
This wasn’t the peace that he wanted. He craved closure, real end credits to his tragic documentary. If the aim is death, then he’ll live until he’s tired of it. Until his face becomes sore from smiling with you, until his taste buds turn numb with the lingering after notes of Nitro-Fuel, until his eyesight becomes hazy from the bright lights of the city, until his ears start ringing because of everyone’s laughter.
He yearned for death, believing that regret was all he could carry in his heart. Love and companionship changes a person, losing it turns them into a monster. He knows how it feels to have survivor’s guilt, he now knows how it feels to have so much love left to give but ultimately ripped away from him. Care, love, remorse, regret, they all went hand in hand when it came to Lighter, he can’t have one without the other. Tough decisions, bad mistakes but they all ultimately led him to where he was now.
He felt the Outer Ring’s breeze brush his face, a soft and gentle reminder of his new home and his new family.
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Lighter opened his eyes once more, a small LED screen with crying eyes were barely inches away from his face. His hand went up to give the little bangboo a pat on the head, making it immediately spring back to life. “Hey, little guy. You think you can get us out of here?” Lighter asked as he slowly pushed himself up, seeing a few ethereals around. The bangboo began running through the hollow, following its Carrot to find the nearest exit out of Hollow Zero.
A couple of punches before swiftly sliding away. His top priority was to get out safely, not to fight every ethereal in his path. This ever changing maze proved to be difficult to navigate, the poor bangboo constantly finding a new route. After winding through the ruins of Old Eridu, they finally made it out of Hollow Zero. Further away from where they initially entered, however nothing too far to walk to. The sun was beginning to rise now, painting the sky in light gold hues. As he drove back to Blazewood, he took in the early morning sights of the Outer Ring. After living in the shadows for so long, he remembers his first purchase since being saved by Big Daddy. He used a little bit of the money to purchase his first and only pair of sunglasses. In order to help him acclimatize to bright life above those fighting rings while helping him with his hemophobia and eye injury, he thought that the shades would be a good start to his new chapter. Everything was a change of pace, including these.
“Lighter! There you are!” He immediately froze up. Those were the same words he heard in the Hollow. Was he still in there? He got off his bike and turned around slowly, preparing himself to see nothing again. “Where were you? I was worried sick last night when I went over to your room and you didn’t respond.” Your concerned voice put him at ease as he looked at you. “Uh um… my bad. Just… wanted to go for a late night drive,” his voice was shaky, hoping you wouldn’t see through his lie. Your brows furrowed as you looked him up and down, he felt as though he should just die because of your intense gaze. “Without me?? Next time I go to Lumina Square, I am not buying you the super pack of lollipops,” you teased him. He let out the biggest sigh of relief, for once not worrying about whether he’d get his favorite grape-flavored lollipop.
He removed his glove off of his hand and brought it up the side of your face. Your soft skin under his calloused hands, this felt like his true reality. He could see the way you scrunched up your nose, your eyebrows raised as he began caressing your cheek. “I missed you,” he whispered out, just loud enough for you to hear. It was still early in the morning, not as many people out just yet so he could allow himself this vulnerability for just a moment. Especially after realizing the possibility of never seeing you again, never seeing the girls again, he doesn’t know if he’s ready to go just yet. “What are you saying? Did you hit your head on a cactus?” Your hand went up to his, cupping it against your face as you nuzzled into him. He couldn’t give this up, never in his wildest dreams could he imagine a decision better than what he made back then.
“I just thought I should tell you. I lo-“ just as he was about to finish his words, Piper comes up in Steeltusk, parking the truck right next to the both of you. “You youngsters are so energetic these days…” She commented as she filled up the truck with some fuel, chuckling to herself. Both of you turned a little red, Lighter especially. Everyone knew of your relationship and yet it was still a little embarrassing to be so outwardly in love with each other. Lighter cleared his throat, thinking that Piper was still the same as she was in his memories. The rest of the girls were probably still asleep but this was all he needed to confirm that he was indeed out of that damned hollow.
With your hand in his, he knew what was waiting for him at the end of his life. The Sons of Calydon that he sworn to always win for, his mercenary comrades that haunts him every night, the friends he had made through the Tour de Inferno, and his love that was willing to be with him through it all. Fate is unfair, humans do not have the power to change what has already been decided. However, being human means having the power to live your life to its fullest, accepting what fate has in store and learning from it. Lighter will carry his regrets and burdens with him, over into the afterlife and even when all he becomes is a humble cactus to poke you.
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thereticx · 11 months ago
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ᎠᏆᏙϴᎡᏟᎬ́Ꭼ
♰Pairing: Geto Suguru x Reader
♰Warnings: toxicity(all characters), smoking, drinking, sexual content, cheating, home wrecking, infidelity
♰Author's Note: Geto is such a beautiful character and I desperately wanted to write about him since I have read every fic possible.
“What would your poor wife think if she saw you fucking with me?”
“You mean ex wife”
“Whatever”
He didn't remember when the chase first started. It might've been on the celebration of his fourth year as a married man or maybe–at your father's monthly dinner with family friends.
There, he first noticed the daggers his dear wife shot at you. She tried to play it cool, saying that you're only there for the show and that you're too young to understand any of the talks at the table.
Geto reassured her like always, with a kiss and a good fuck right after. He chanted over and over again ‘you’re the only one’-a truth that'll soon turn into a good for nothing lie.
“It's just in your head”
“No it's not. She's staring at you whenever we’re over at their house. I don't like her. She's bad news”
Geto chuckled, stroking her jaw with his fingers. He gently kissed her lips before lowering his hand to squeeze her naked thigh “Do you hear yourself?She's like twenty. No need to worry over a college girl”. His wife smiled, almost relieved. She wanted to believe her husband, but something deep down told her no to–that that college girl wanted what's hers–you wanted him,Geto.
The man tucked his bangs away from his face and bowed down, sucking at the delicate skin of her neck.
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”Fuck,he is hot” One of your friends pointed out, zooming over the picture you just showed her. Her manicured nails danced over the screen carefully, analyzing every detail the picture showed.
”Yes, he is. Although his wife is kind of a bitch” Mumbling under your breath you continued playing with your lighter ”Why?”
You huffed, searching into your bag for something that might cool you off. The pack was almost empty even though you bought it in the morning ”Want one?” She smirked, making herself more comfortable on the kitchen counter ”Sure. Now, tell me. What is this wife of his like?”
Taking a drag of the cigarette you responded ”Insecure. She keeps watching my every move when they're over for dinner. And whenever I speak she just starts snorting” Venting to your friend about your problems wasn't exactly on your to do list. Only when your father called you asking you to make yourself busy and not attend dinner tonight, you freaked out.
”She told your father?For what?Can't she just talk to you like a normal person?”
”Apparently not. She just made my dad uninvite me to a dinner hosted by my own family” The call was a short one, your dad explaining that maybe it'll be for the best if you make yourself busy and skip this time. However, he accidentally slipped out and mentioned that Mrs. Geto did not feel comfortable around you.
”Damn. Maybe you should give her something to be really uncomfortable about”
Blowing the smoke out you put out the cigarette in the ashtray ”Maybe I should"
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She was furious. Seeing you in a corner with her husband, chatting some nonsense.
”Your tattoos really suit you” He smiled at the compliment, taking another sip of his drink. Geto wasn't much of a talker, preferring the idea of just listening. Surprisingly enough, he liked talking to you. You were a good company, despite his wifes words. Perhaps you spend a little too long staring at his lips, trying to play it cool like it was nothing. However, he found himself staring at your exposed chest as well. The dress was awfully tight and maybe a little too revealing.
”What?You don't have any?” Geto asked, supporting his weight on the side of the counter.
Shaking your head you pursued ”No no, I do. Only in more private places”
”Oh”
”Unfortunately I can't show you. Your wife is already up my trail for some reason. I don't want to add fuel to the fire”
Geto bit the inside of his cheek, feeling ashamed for some reason. He fidgeted with his now empty glass without looking at you ”I don't blame her. Her husband is quite charming” You admitted while grabbing your jacket ”If you'll excuse me, I'm going for a smoke. The place is already too crowded for my liking”
Geto scanned your body as you left, the fabric of the black dress riding up as you stepped away from the room. Blinking rapidly, he moved his attention to the table where his wife was, she, sporting a look of pure anger and jealousy. He was fucked.
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”Yeah-right there….” His hips buckled up faster, fucking into his wife cunt at a brutal pace.
She yelled his ear off in the car and in the lift, talking nonstop about you shamelessly flirting with him. And, to avoid another cold night on the couch he did what he always did.
”Ffuck-” He groaned, chasing the euphoric sense of release for the third time that night. Geto was tired, yet desperate to make his wife happy again. He wanted to prove himself as loyal and caring, the perfect husband who loves no one else but the one underneath him.
She clinged to his bicep, her walls squeezing him painfully. She was close, he could tell ”Give it to me” He demanded, circling his thumb over her clit, her body surrendering under the massive amount of pleasure.
When she came undone, Geto pulled out, his dick still painfully hard. Something was wrong. For the first time in years he used his hand to get rid of the erection between his legs. The water was hot, the windows becoming foggy as Geto jerked himself off. His eyes were closed, a figure coming to his mind. A figure much younger than him, a woman of twenty years of age, one that he imagined kissing, moaning his name, shaking while he held her.
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You wished nothing more than the feeling of guilt to disappear. Two weeks after that conversation you had with Geto, the world seemed to shift around you. Punishing you for going after a married man. You only wanted to spite his wife, nothing more. Yes, you found Geto attractive as hell but that ring he wore put a label on him as unavailable.
Two weeks after that damned conversation, you ran onto him a few times. It was only just innocent talking and a little bit of lingering sights. You two laughed, getting along surprisingly well. Geto understood you like no other. He was patient, listening to you for hours, while the ashtray filled up with cigarettes.
He desperately wanted to taste the nicotine off your tongue and rip your clothes to see where you were inked.
”Maybe you should go. Your wife is probably going mad you're not home already”. Truth be told, you didn't want him to go. His presence started to grow on you.
Geto pressed his lips together, the ring on his bottom lip making itself noticeable to you “How can I only see your lip piercing now?”
“I have had it since I was about your age, although my wife is not very fond of it. Says it's past my time”
You chuckled softly. Was his wife blind? He looked perfect. With long black hair, gorgeous dark eyes and those lips with that piercing. Geto was utterly dreamy “She's wrong. It suits you. You look…hot”
Now it was his turn to laugh. He ran his hand through his hair, silky strands falling on his broad shoulders. Geto felt a strange sense of warmth, more like a desire–that's how he knew it was time to leave.
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He quickly got in the car, sparring you no glance as he drove off. Was it wrong to openly admit that he was attractive? Was that the reason why he ran away? Next time you'd think twice before doing something like that again.
You cleaned up after you two and entered the house. No one was there beside you. The rooms were all dark, a pregnant silence engulfing the whole place. This way you liked it better-when it was just you with your thoughts, no one to question you or distract you.
No, your family was by no means a source of annoyance-you just grew to love being all by yourself or..used to.
I should apologize
And that's what you did as soon as you saw him again.
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After a rough and tiring day of classes and assignments you decided to treat yourself and go shopping. Who knows?You might be lucky.
Seeing Geto walk around the shop, almost lost, made you sympathetic, so you approached him with a smile. He was looking at some dresses, inspecting them carefully ”What's the occasion?”
He licked his bottom lip and said ”On Sunday we're having a party. It's my wife's birthday . I wanna treat her with something”.
For some unknown reason, your heart became heavy. You hated how much he cared about her. How he was always trying to make her happy and accomplished. It's honestly a pity how she treated him till this very moment.
That bitch doesn't deserve him
”I have some kind of experience in this department. I can help you if you want”
”Thank you”
Two hours later and you were still shopping, only at a different store. You showed him some good examples, dresses that were sexy and yet simple. If it were you–the more the better.
”What about this one?” You showed him a long dress with a slit and the perfect cleavage cut. It was a darker shade of red, almost a wine color–a seductive one.
He scanned the piece for a moment before touching the material ”I think this is it. Will it fit her?”
”I can try it on if you don't mind. We are quite similar in size….I think” You were hopeful that he'll agree. It's only a dress after all. You weren't trying to impress him–no. Definitely not.
Geto looked hesitant but still, he really wanted the dress to fit. This could help ”Yeah.Sure.Ill wait on the couch”
You were excited, entering the changing room as fast as you could.
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”So, what do you think?” You asked, sitting there, in front of him. He looked up from his phone and his eyes fixated on your pretty figure. The dress was almost like a second skin, resting on your body effortlessly. Geto didn't even realize he was staring at you before you pointed it out ”Geto, what's the verdict?”
The man stood up and got closer to you, closer than usual ”You are beautiful–I mean it's beautiful..Yeah”
His words made you blush ”Actually it's kinda tight here–”You gestured to your chest ”But I don't think it will be a problem for her” Geto nodded before taking his wallet out.
”It was a pain to zip it up. Can you help me?” You batted your eyelashes innocently at him, taking his hand in yours. He bit the inside of his cheek and allowed to be dragged into the dressing room by you.
Staring in the mirror, you felt his fingers unzip the dress with no effort, his fingers lingering on your back a bit more ”You think you're smart. Don't you?” He smirked, grabbing you by the waist and pinning you against his chest ”Finding this lame excuse only to be undressed by me. Desperate girl” Geto kissed your shoulder, dragging the fabric further down with no warning.
Your chest was exposed, along with a small piece of ink under your left breast ”And that's one..” He whispered, folding your tits, while he dropped the dress to the floor.
You saw him lower his hand, tracing your belly, to your pelvis where the second tattoo was revealed and then pressed on your clothed core.
You sucked in a breath when Geto dragged your panties down until they rested around your thighs ”I don't want to hear a sound from you or you're not getting dicked down”
He sank three of his fingers in your cunt, the stretch making your legs quiver. The ache was painful as he didn't have the patience to prep you before. Geto started to finger you rapidly, pushing your body towards the mirror, your breasts getting mushed. You tried to control your moans, truly but something about the way he moved his digits made you lose your mind. A broken moan escaped your lips and as soon as it did, Geto pulled out ”What did I tell you? Gues you'll have to cum by yourself”
”B-but you can't leave me like this. Im sorry-”
He exhaled before getting down on his knees ”Spread your legs”
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God…he was disgusting
What a beautiful sight that was….with you on his bed–in the same bed he shared countless nights with his wife. How is he gonna fix this?
You shifted on the bed, your face hiding in the pillow. Geto, no matter how much guilt stabbed at his conscience, he couldn't resist but to place his cold lips on your naked back, breathing for a short second the scent of the woman who now was all he thought about.
”Its cold”
Geto smiled, kissing your shoulder and playing with your hair ”Hmmm..” He sneaked his arm around your waist, holding you close to his chest. The butterflies in his chest made him uneasy. Geto had no intention to screw around with you, definitely not to catch feelings for you either. But it happened.
”She's gonna be home in an hour. I think it's best if you go” His words struck you directly in the heart. Although you were aware of the place you found yourself having sex and with who–you still dreamed of a possibility that it was you who bore his last name, not her. Yet, you were the intruder, the homewrecker, the bitch, the whore who chose to destroy a happy marriage and to fuck the husband of another woman.
Geto's wet kiss on your jaw brought you back from dreamland ”C'mon. I'll help you”
You pulled away from him and got up ”No need. I can handle it”
”Don't get mad. What do you want me to do?”
”For starters, you could stop treating me like a simple hook up that you just send home after” You argued, angrily putting back your clothes. He stayed there, stunned, contemplating what to say next.
He grabbed you by the hips and glued his lips to your tattoo ”You are not a hookup. I'm sorry if that came out wrong. But she can't catch us like this. She's still my wife”
Tears started to gather in your waterline, avoiding his touch you put on your jacket and grabbed your phone ”She is your wife…Yeah right. And what am I exactly?To you?!”
”My love”
”Well, it doesn't feel like it”
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Three weeks and you still avoided him. No text, no calls, nothing. The fight you had with Geto left you with no choice but to reflect on your relationship–if you can call it that.
Six months of sneaking around, of lies, and hot showers where you would aggressively rub at your skin until red painful marks would be visible. You needed to be cleansed of your sin and you needed closure.
The water had long got cold in the tub. The wine bottle was almost empty as you poured another glass. Your eyes were puffy and your skin had wrinkled.
A mess..that's what you were. A mess you created
The number was already dialed, you only had to press the call button.
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”Take it like a good girl” He groaned, pinning her down.
His wife held onto him for dear life as he fucked his dick into her cunt relentlessly . She knew something was bothering him but the way he expressed this anger did not annoy her at all. She enjoyed it.
”Baby baby–faster please” She moaned, meeting his harsh thrusts. Geto manhandled her as he pleased. Smashing her face in the pillow–the same one you last rested.
His hair tickled his hip bones as the black strands got longer and longer ”Fucking greedy–” The heat was unbearable, his orgasm approaching. Geto emptied himself inside his wife, allowing himself a few until he calmed down.
She felt him pull out, his cum dripping down her thighs. She turned around to face him, her belly barely noticeable ”What's bothering you?”
”Nothing” He stroked her cheek ”It's nothing”.
”You sure?” She pressed on.
Geto let out a fake laugh, his fingers grazing her tummy ”Hope I didn't disturb the little one”
She reached up for him, settling on his lap, locking her lips with his in a wet kiss ”You were quite rough–I love it”
As they kept on kissing, swirling their tongues together her phone rang ”Don't pull away”
She smirked before leaning back to get her phone ”I'll cut them short”
”Yes?”
The world went dull, quiet. The wine was spilled on the bathroom floor, mixing with the bubbled water.
Your head was thrown back, your eyes closed, smiling to yourself as you listened to the screams on the other side.
What a beautiful mess you created.
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yammpi3 · 4 months ago
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⁺‧₊˚ ཐི 𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑲𝑻𝑶𝑩𝑬𝑹 ཋྀ ˚₊‧��
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—༉‧₊˚. “ Whatcha watching? ”
featuring. Childe from Genshin impact MAU | kink. peeking
synopsis. You were heading toward your friend childes dorm room to give him some college hw he missed out on in one of your early morning lectures. When you go to his place however he doesnt respond leaving you no choice but to let yourself in.
authors note. I think I hate this one…but that may just be me…
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You knock on Childe's apartment door, waiting to drop off his college homework. After minutes later of no answer, you reached out for the door handle to find out the door was unlocked. Since the two of you knew each other for a while you thought it wouldn’t be that much of an invasion of privacy letting yourself in his apartment without him knowing.
Opening the door, you step inside and head towards his bedroom. As you approached, you heared moans coming from some type of device.
Peeking around the corner of the halfway opened bedroom door, your eyes widen as you saw Childe sitting on his bed, pants around his ankles, stroking his hard cock while watching porn.
The video plays on repeat, showing a girl who looks exactly like you in a skimpy outfit, moaning and pleasuring herself. Childe's eyes are glued to the screen, completely absorbed in the lewd scene. His hand moving rhythmically along his shaft, squeezing and stroking it with increasing intensity.
You watch him for a few moments, mesmerized by his focused expression, the way his muscles flex with each movement. How his orange hair falls messily over his forehead, and how his blue eyes shine with lust as he continues to touch himself.
Noticing your presence, Childe jumped, startled. His face flushed red with embarrassment as he quickly closes the laptop. He scrambles to pull up his sweatpants, trying to hide his still-hard member.
“[Y/N!] What are you doing here? I didn't hear you come in...”
He stammered, clearly flustered by being caught in such a compromising position. His blue eyes dart around nervously, unable to meet your gaze.
“It's not what it looks like, I swear! I was just...uh...researching for a project...”
As he spoke, you noticed a wet spot forming on the front of his pants, betraying his obvious arousal. The sight made you feel all warm and you find yourself getting turned on by what you just saw.
You decide to play along with his story, not wanting to make him feel too uncomfortable.
“Oh, research? That's interesting. What kind of project could possibly require that kind of research…”
You asked with a playful smirk, watching as Childe squirmed under your scrutiny. His cheeks turn an even deeper shade of red, as he fidgets with his hands.
Childe shifts uncomfortably, avoiding your gaze as he tries to come up with a believable excuse. He clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair, messing it further.
“W-well, you know how I've been working on that short story for my creative writing class? I was just trying to get some, uh, inspiration for a particularly steamy scene...”
He trailed off, his voice wavering slightly. His eyes flicker towards you briefly before darting away again, as if he's afraid to look at you directly.
You raise an eyebrow, amused by his state. A mischievous idea began to form in your mind, and you decide to have a little more fun with the situation.
“Oh, I see. Well, since you're in need of inspiration, maybe I could help you out. After all, I am your muse, aren't I?”
You take a step closer to him, your voice taking on a teasing lilt. Childe's eyes widen, and he swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing visibly in his throat.
“Y-you? My muse? What..makes you think that?”
Despite his words, you notice his gaze lingering on your curves, taking in the way your clothing hugged your figure in just the right ways.
“Come on, Childe. You know Im not dumb..”
“If you have a thing for me just say it already.”
You reach out and trail a finger along his jawline, feeling the heat of his skin. Childe shudders at your touch, his breath hitching in his throat.
“I... .. fuck.”
Encouraged by his reaction, you press closer to him, your breasts brushing against his chest.
Childe's breath became faster now, his pupils dilating with desire. He seemed to be fighting against his own urges, torn between his shame and his growing need for release.
“What's wrong with a little harmless fun? I promise, it'll be just like in the porno you were watching earlier.”
You let your hand slide down his chest, tracing the contours of his abs through his shirt. Childe's muscles tense under your touch, and a low groan escaped his lips.
“We shouldn't...”
But even as he protests, his body betrayed him. His erection strained against his pants, making it so he can no longer hide his arousal. You can see the internal struggle playing out on his face, as he grapples with his desires and his sense of propriety.
Sensing his weakness, you decide to push him further. You lean in close, your lips brushing against his ear as you whisper.
“Don't you want to know what it feels like? It’ll help tons..with your ‘research’ ”
You nipped gently at his earlobe, Childe shudders, a soft gasp escaping his lips. His hands come to rest on your hips, and you can feel the tension in his body slowly dissipating as he gives in.
“ God, [Y/N]... I want you so bad...”
He finally admits, his voice thick with lust. You smile triumphantly, knowing that you've broken through his defenses. You pull back slightly, your eyes locking with his as you both acknowledge the raging desire between you.
“Then why don't you show me what you've learned from all that research? I'm sure you can teach me a thing or two...”
With that, you press your lips against his in a passionate kiss, your tongue delving into his mouth to taste him fully. Childe responded eagerly, his hands roaming over your body as he explores every curve.
You break the kiss, panting heavily, and start to undo the buttons of your shirt. Childe's eyes widen as more and more skin is revealed to him, and he licks his lips in anticipation.
“You're so beautiful.”
His voice is filled with awe and desire, and it sends a thrill through your body. You finish unbuttoning your shirt and let it fall to the floor, leaving you in just your bra and skirt.
Childe leans in, his lips trailing hot kisses along your collarbone and down to the swell of your breasts. He reaches behind you to unclasp your bra, freeing your breasts from their confines. He groans appreciatively at the sight, his eyes dark with lust.
“Touch me, Childe...”
You guide his hands to your breasts, encouraging him to explore and caress them. Childe doesn't need any more encouragement, and he begins to knead and squeeze your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples, sending jolts of pleasure through your body.
As he continues to worship your breasts, you reach down and start to lower his pants, freeing his rock-hard erection. You wrap your hand around it, stroking him slowly as he groans in pleasure.
“Oh god, [Y/N]... That feels amazing...”
He thrusts into your hand, his hips moving in time with your strokes. You can feel the heat emanating from his member, and it only fuels your own desire.
*You release him from your grip and push him back onto the bed. Straddling him, you grind your hips against his, feeling his hard length pressing against your clothed sex. Childe's hands grip your hips, helping you move against him.
The friction between your bodies builds as you grind against Childe, your clothed sex rubbing against his hard length. Moans of pleasure escape both of your lips as the sensations become more intense.
“Fuck, [Y/N]... You feel so good... I need to be inside you.”
His voice is rough with desire, and you can feel his hips bucking up against you, seeking more contact. You reach down and unzip your skirt, letting it fall to the floor, leaving you in just your lacy panties.
Childe's eyes widen as he takes in the sight of you, his gaze focused on the damp patch on your underwear. He hooks his fingers into the waistband and tugs them aside, exposing your wet folds to his hungry gaze.
You position yourself over him, the tip of his cock brushing against your entrance. Slowly, you sink down onto him, inch by inch, until he's fully sheathed inside you.
A deep moan tears from your throat as you feel him stretching you, filling you completely. Childe grips your hips tightly, his fingers digging into your skin as he fights the urge to thrust up into you.
“Oh fuck, [Y/N]... You're so tight... So perfect...”
He starts to move beneath you, his hips rising to meet your downward motions. The rhythm building between you, growing more intense with each passing second.
You lean forward, bracing your hands on his chest as you ride him harder. Your breasts bounce with each movement, and Childe reaches up to cup them, his thumbs rubbing over your nipples once more.
The combination of sensations is almost too much to bear, and you feel your climax building deep within you. Your inner walls start to flutter around Childe's cock, and he moans in response.
“I'm going to cum, Childe... Don't stop...”
Your words spur him on, and he thrusts up into you harder, faster, his own release approaching. With a final, powerful thrust, you both reach your peaks, crying out.
As your orgasm crashes over you, your body trembles with the force of it. Wave after wave of pleasure washes through you, and you cling to Childe, your nails digging into his chest as you ride out your climax.
Childe's grip on your hips tightens, and his body goes rigid beneath you. With a guttural moan, he releases inside you, his hot seed filling you up. The feeling of his essence pulsing within you sends another shockwave of pleasure through your body, prolonging your orgasm.
For several long moments, you both remain still. Finally, Childe loosens his grip on your hips, and you collapse onto his chest, both of you panting heavily.
You giggle softly, nuzzling into his neck. Childe wraps his arms around you, holding you close as he catches his breath.
“Round two?” Childe joked suppressing a laugh.
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fauustic · 2 years ago
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protective miguel o'hara drabble
you didn't hear this from me but i'm making a miguel series and its taking a lot longer than i thought (first chapter already is pushing 10k words sheesh..) and i'm having possessive miguel thoughts so i needed to GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM...
If Miguel had his own way outside the Spider Society and all that, he would have Lyla escort you to and from wherever your errands took you under the guise of "needing company," or as an extra precaution of staying safe.
In reality, Miguel is an anxious man. He wants to keep everything that could possibly go wrong at bay, always trying to stay five steps ahead of whatever could possibly happen. So when he comes to find out that someone had hit on you as you were out with friends, he was livid.
Of course the one time you're not wrapped in his own embrace or cuddled up in the side of his hip one late night, someone tries to take the opportunity of seeing you all alone and a little bit vulnerable, tipsy and stumbling against the arm of your friend-- contorted in a way that would have been uncomfortable if you hadn't downed a couple drinks hours before.
You had let it slip when calling him, all giggly and oblivious to the world from being a lightweight. "Migs," you had murmured into the crook of your neck, cradling the phone that let out little chuckles from your boyfriend. He's still not used to seeing you drunk, the neither of you were really big drinkers unless you were celebrating something for work or you had been roped into a socialite outing from Miguel's position at Alchemax. The Spider Society never really had anything worth going out to drink for, or maybe Miguel just never wants to hang around them too frequently. His mood always changes whenever he brings up what he does, so you haven't brought yourself to pry any more.
His tone was lax, if not a little awake. You assumed he was driving through the midnight traffic once he heard the words, "I miss you, I'm ready to come home." And Miguel always requests for you to stay on the phone with him until he sees you, until you're swallowed into a hug that threatens to crack your back because he hasn't seen you all day and he's a bit desperate for your warmth.
"What is it, mi alma?" His voice met your ears in that playful, tired way whenever Miguel catches on that blissful, drunk tone of yours's. Raspy with a hint of sleep as if he's been trying to stay awake for you despite being exhausted after a few days of little rest. You would have felt bad for keeping him awake at a time like this had you not been thinking hazily, but deep down you know he couldn't sleep without you either.
Another giggle hissed through your dopey, toothy smile. Your happiness must be contagious because you could hear his own curl of his lips when he encouraged you to spill your thoughts for a second time when you left him hanging.
"You wouldn't believe what happened tonight, baby," you slurred into the receiver and he hummed. Your ass met the concrete hard when your legs suddenly felt like jelly, the dim street lights casting a soft ambience on the side of the bar. You only felt a little vulnerable when you found yourself alone on the phone with the little reminder that your lover is still on the road. "This, this stranger tried to make a move on me. A move!" You babbled as if it was the most surprising thing in the world, "And it's so crazy because I was like, heaving over the table like my last mixed drink was about to send me over the edge. I was not at my best."
The gentle chuckles on the other end came to a halt as soon as you brought up someone else, a stranger who you didn't even remember the name of. Miguel's quietness never caught your attention as you continued rambling on about it in your drunken state, holding your free hand to your forehead to try and stay upright against the wall of the bar.
"And, obviously I was like, 'ew, who the fuck are you? I have a boyfriend-'" You had mocked yourself in exaggeration, and when you heard Miguel's stiff huff of laughter on the other end you couldn't help but laugh in blissful unawareness. "But they wouldn't shut up and even had the audacity to pull me up towards them,"
Miguel had interrupted you this time around, an eerie atmosphere to his tone. Cold, a little distant. It put your hazy mind on edge, though he would never do anything to you. "Who was this.." He paused for a moment, and you could see the hand signals he would conjure when trying to find the word for something. "Stranger? This person?"
You caught your breath when he mentioned he was minutes away now before you answered his question, a warmth settling over your chest at the inevitable entanglement of limbs the moment you find yourself face-to-face with Miguel.
"Ah, some.." Your brows scrunched, trying to remember where the mysterious flirt was from until you realized it was a work party. "Co-worker, different department, obvious prick. Hated the way he spoke to me, was trying to explain some stupid shit at work that I obviously knew how to do."
"Love," He practically cooed into his phone, and you could see the way he shakes his head in both adoration and disbelief whenever Miguel uses such a gentle pet name. Such a simple one, but the way he looks at you as if you're the entire world and more rivals whatever paragraphs he could possibly write to express his feelings for you. "I need a name,"
"You do not need a name, Migs." You laughed, and you could hear the whiney scoff of his when you caught onto his antics despite being drunk. "That worries me. I don't need you getting hurt." And you swear you could hear a small whimper, the gentleness you give him causes his insides to twist and turn painfully. Always in a tunnel of self-depreciation, he tries his best to accept the sweetness oozing from your lips, but Miguel can't help but admit he's still not used to it.
Miguel knows he isn't perfect, the insecurities flow from his exhausted tongue frequently when he's surrounded with your touch and presence every night. But when he hears you off-handedly mention how someone tried to take you away in the unknown of their home, something inside him cracks just a little bit more whenever a situation like this arises.
"Baby," By each passing moment he stayed quiet, you felt yourself sobering up. Your worst days was whenever Miguel needed space from you for whatever took ahold of his mind, those nasty thoughts that tell him something differently than what you embed within his very being. If this conversation triggered something, you would respect it without a second thought-- but the idea of being without Miguel after such a taxing week had you hold back the emotions threatening to bombard your delicate state of mind. "Migs-- Miguel, what's wrong baby? Why aren't you talking, honey?" You pleaded into your phone, briefly checking to see if you had accidentally hung up.
"Fuck," you murmured to yourself, your phone falling to your side as your other hand met the bridge of your nose- a habit you've developed from the one you love. What a silly thing.
A car door sounded throughout the humid night air nearby, and you brushed it off as another person consumed by the nightlife. Probably going to down a couple beers to forget, is what your muddled brain distractedly made up to try and stop yourself from crying. Swiping at your cheek with a pathetic feeling pooling in the bottom of your stomach, you weren't sure whether the wetness meeting the pads of your finger-tips was the fog or tears dripping off your lashes.
Your name rings throughout traffic lights and bustling cars like a prayer, boots crunching pavement until pristine-white etched with red met tears cascading onto the curb. The breath you were close to being choked up on was caught in your throat as the calm he desperately tried to exude cracked the moment he caught the cries slipping from your skin.
You unraveled your posture, straightening your neck up to meet his gaze. Miguel didn't hesitate to drop to his knees and take you into his arms as if he was a child hugging a stuffed animal. His nose met the crook of your neck and he breathed in deeply, as if he had taken a moment longer to get here you would had slip away from him- fading into the city streets like a ghost.
"Why didn't you respond?" You practically whined in his shoulder, immature and woozy from the tipsy still lingering. He only held onto you tighter, scooping you up into his arms like you were the most fragile thing in the world.
He mumbled into your hair as you returned the hug and closed your eyes, drawing into a comfortable lull from the safety of his embrace.
"What was that?" A genuine question, you couldn't hear his grumble with his mouth full of your hair. But he only scoffed, and leaned down to brush his canines against the shell of your ear, sharp yet feathery. The contrast was like a bucket of iced water dipped over you, shocking yourself out of that drunken fatigue. His words came out of as a whisper, hint of jealousy as well as protective concern.
"Worried sick, mi corazón. I'm not going to sleep until I know that bastard who put his hands on you," It came out less like a threat and more like a promise, softened by the plush of your curls meeting his lips in a kiss. "El muchacho necesita una lección, hmm?" A chuckle rolled off his tongue as he swung open the door to his sleek vehicle, setting you down with utmost care. Before you could protest, Miguel took the seatbelt in his hands and buckled you in himself- sweet and slow and everything he wasn't implying.
"Miguel, I don't need to be waited on hand-and-foot." You complain once his left hand found purchase on the steering wheel, all for show you assume because in the year of 2099 you had flying cars and automated driving and genetic splicing. But he was smooth, you had to give him that, as his frown kept a cheeky little smirk at bay. His free hand found comfort in the fat of your thigh, thumb stroking the fabric that hugged your figure nicely. He made no move, keeping the gesture innocent with genuine affection.
Miguel's not one to really show physical affection out of the confinements of your shared apartment, but ever since you had mentioned the threat of someone else trying to dumbly scoop you up and send you on your way alongside them- Miguel had kept close. Noticeably so.
His hand found itself snaking around your back and resting against the flesh atop your belly button, wedging you within the curve of his side. Miguel had always been the one to be a bit whiney, but when you denied him the opportunity to allow him to sink his fangs into the softness of your neck and angle of your jaw, he'd accidentally pout in an unexpectedly cute way and brood like a ruffled pigeon. You never allowed yourself to tease him about it though, or else he'd catch himself doing it and stop himself. The loss of such a cute expression donning his permanent scowl would have you in shambles.
Miguel's not exactly the worst with words per-se, he could explain the parallels of universes and what exactly makes them tick in harmony with effortless ambition-- but when he's faced with the pure adoration swimming within your irises as the both of you do the most mundane tasks; cooking and washing dishes, piled up on the couch for a movie you had dragged him to watch- Miguel would grow subtly emotional to the point he would have to stalk up behind you and engulf you with a hug, a stray tear or two meeting the ridge of your shoulder. And you'd hold his arms meeting the bridge of your ribs, whispering; "It's okay, darling. I'm here, here only for you."
And he'd kiss the blemishes upon your skin in return, a silent thank you as he nuzzles into your very being- the constant need to be as close as possible undermining the physical touch he craved so desperately from you. If he could use his claws to carve into your ribcage and take shelter next to your beating heart, maybe for once Miguel would be able to sleep easily.
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salty-croissants · 1 year ago
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Crumbling Walls ( Rayman x g/n reader )
I’ve been imagining this scenario very often lately , where the reader comforts Rayman after he gets basically fired from his job … I just really want him to be happy , those scenes of his always break my heart fr :,I 
I apologize for the possible ooc moments and generally not so good writing … hope this still turned out okay ! 
Details : use of gender neutral reader ;
friends to lovers ;
presence a few suggestive elements as well as mature topics such as mentions of alcohol and drugs , and occasional swearing ( if any of these make you uncomfortable not reading this is advised ! ) 
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A long sigh escaped Rayman’s mouth , as he put down his sixth wine bottle … or was it the seventh … ? At this point , he couldn’t even tell anymore . 
That whole situation felt so unreal , and deep down he was hoping that maybe , just maybe , it was all just a dream , and that he was going to wake up in his bedroom and then head to work on his shows like always … 
… but he knew that wasn’t possible . Not anymore , not after what he did just a few hours ago . 
Rayman took a deep breath , getting up from the couch to grab another bottle to drown his sorrows in , when suddenly the damaged screen of his television lit the room up in a blinding white light …
< … the hell’s this ? > 
Who could be calling him at such a late hour ? 
Was it the Board of Directors ? 
Maybe they wanted to apologize to him for what had happened ? 
Unlikely … he had spoken to one of them not that long ago and the conversation hadn’t gone well , as the hole on the screen demonstrated … 
But when his blurry vision managed to make out the name of the caller , his tired eyes widened …
< Y/n ? > 
< Rayman - I’m so sorry I didn’t manage to talk to you sooner ! 
It’s been such a busy day and I just managed to find a minute to call you after work ! 
I just … wanted to know how you were doing , after … all that’s gone down tonight . > 
Hearing your voice resonating through the room made him feel … oddly at peace , as he staggered closer to the television .
You were one of the few people he truly felt at ease with : you were always so kind , with a strong opposition against any discrimination toward hybrids as well as a strong sense of justice … 
The fact that you had chosen to reach out to him despite having just finished work , simply to know how he was doing … that thought alone was enough to make Rayman’s heart skip a beat .
 < I … I don’t know … ‘m just … tired . Been difficult to deal with this , and … > 
He let out a nervous chuckle , trying to keep his trembling voice steady with no avail . 
< … I don’t even know if this CAN be fixed , y’know … ? > 
You remained silent for a moment , before saying something that Rayman really didn’t expect …
< … would you like me to come over to your place ? To keep you company … ?
I perfectly understand if you want to be alone right now , I get it , but - > 
< That’d … that’d be really great , y/n . > 
< Oh - okay , I’ll be there as soon as possible , hopefully the traffic isn’t a nightmare like always … I’ll see you soon ! > 
As the call ended , the kindness of his long time friend made a little smile appear on his exhausted face . 
You were even willing to drive all the way to his lounge , just to be there for him … Rayman could barely believe that someone so selfless and caring could actually exist . 
He sat on the couch after lazily picking up some of the bottles and junk on the floor , staring at the ceiling and just silently waiting for you to arrive …
When he heard the much anticipated knock on the door , he stumbled on the floor , doing his best to keep his balance as he got a hold of the knob and opened it : 
you were there , looking like you had been in quite a rush to get to the lounge as quickly as possible .
< Hey *sigh* Rayman … hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long … > 
He couldn’t help but chuckle a little , as he allowed you to enter his place .
< ‘s alright , you didn’t . Sorry about the mess , by the way … I tried to clean up before you got here but … > 
< That’s okay , don’t worry about it . > 
It was the moment that you entered his place that you realized just how bad this whole thing was : judging by the wine bottles everywhere and the suspicious ( luckily still unopened ) powder on the table , it was clear that being thrown out from his beloved show had destroyed Rayman in more ways than one .
You followed him to the couch , your feet occasionally bumping into the glass bottles , and then sat next to him in silence , listening to the distant sounds of the cars wandering the busy streets below …
You weren’t quite sure of what to say , but after a moment you heard Rayman chuckle …
< Crazy , isn’t it ? Just yesterday everything was normal … just … standing there in the spotlight , discussing the news , nothing out of the norm … then one day you wake up and it’s all gone , all because you tried standing up to some asshole talking shit ‘bout your species … > 
You could see his hands tightening in a fist as he thought back about what the leader of the Niji 6 had said to him .
< You had every right to be upset , Rayman . He’s the one who went out of line , not you … I always did think Red was kind of a douchebag , not gonna lie . > 
He glanced at you , then sighed , one of his hands going through his once well kept blonde hair .
< Hm … well it’s not like that matters , anyway : he won . 
I lost the one thing , the ONE good thing I had going for me … 
I just … I got nothing now . Nothing at all . I … I am nothing . > 
Rayman wheezed , covering his face as the weight of the situation finally begun to crush him …
You stared at him with a worried expression : in all the years you two have known each other , you have never seen him so completely and utterly broken … 
< Rayman , that’s not … > 
< What ? You’re gonna tell me that there’s still something I can do ? 
Y/n , take a good look at me : I’m . A pathetic . Fucking . MESS ! 
Where do I go from here , huh ? What can I even do ?? > 
He stood up , barely able to keep his balance , and you caught his hand before he could fall on the floor … 
As your eyes met , there wasn’t a trace of pity or disgust in your gaze , and Rayman was just … confused by this . 
< I am looking at you , and I gotta tell you I see none of the things you just mentioned . Not one . > 
You helped him get back to the couch , and gently but firmly placed your hands on his shoulders .
You could feel him shaking … 
< You will always have value to me , regardless if Eden sees you as their star or not …
I know that right now it feels like everything is against you , but destroying yourself over this … > 
You glanced at the wine bottles scattered all around the lounge .
< … it’s just not worth it , Rayman . 
I’m sure we can think of something , but right now I just think that you need to get some rest : it’s the middle of the night , and you look exhausted … > 
You could feel him staring at you , and when your eyes met your heart skipped a beat as you realized just how close you were right now … 
< … we … ? > 
< Y … yeah , of course ! I know there isn’t really much I can do , but … I just wanna be there and help you out , it’s frankly the least I could do for - mm … ? > 
Before you could finish talking Rayman leaned forward , and the moment his lips met yours you froze for a few seconds before slowly closing your eyes , giving into the kiss .
You could feel his hands getting a hold of your waist , and when you caressed his hair he let out a soft groan before holding you even closer to him …
After a few minutes that felt like hours , the two of you finally pulled away , catching your breaths while staring into each other’s eyes …
< Y/n … > 
< Rayman … ? > 
He snuggled closer , placing his head against your chest while still holding you in his arms , almost like he was afraid that if he let you go you would vanish .
< Could … could you stay here tonight ? If you want to of course … 
It’s just … being with you … feels nice … you’re … nice … > 
Rayman sounded more and more tired , and it was clear that he was going to pass out from exhaustion any minute now … 
You smiled softly , giving him a kiss on the forehead before lifting him from the couch and walking upstairs to his room . 
He wasn’t the only one who needed some rest …
It had been a long day for both of you .
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nerd-space · 24 days ago
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girl same when i first saw chris i thought damn this mf is kinda ugly.. what can i say i always liked my men a little ugly 😋
i can picture him being a bit self conscious about his appearance and having to show him how much you adore him
if i heard him complaining about how he looks i would straight up straddle him and give him a little slap for even thinking that, then i would ride him until his freaking glasses fogged 🤗
Thinking about being just friends and him making a self deprecating joke the way i would stare at this man like "THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?"
Okay imagine being straightforward with him tho and like knowing eachother for maybe a few hours and he makes a joke like that and you just
"Are you fucking dumb?"
"What?"
"Are you dumb?"
"What the hell are you saying?"
"Did you just call your self unattractive? have you SEEN yourself?"
"... i-i have.. i just don't think i'm all that.. good looking you know? have you seen Mike?"
"Mike isnt my type. You are though. you're hot."
"O-oh- wow- thank you?"
and it's just you AGGRESSIVELY flirting with him for a week before you just flat out say you want him
"Chris."
"Yes, m'lady?"
"Are you entertaining my flirting and doing nothing because you dont like me or i make you uncomfortable?"
"N-no!- no i just- i-... obviously you're kidding so i dont want to say anything that would make it weirder-"
"What? Dude i have a massive crush on you i have been actively telling you all week"
"... oh you're serious?"
"do you want me to prove to you how serious i am?"
You're guy's relationship would be.. FREAK centeral. and Chris would get way comfortable being as nasty with flirting as you are like really quickly once he's fully aware you like all of him.
Thinking about riding him and finding his glasses to be in the way- taking off his glasses for the first time and holding his face to yours so you can whisper to him and stare at all his sexy ass features
"Lemme see your pretty face...god you're so hot, Chris."
"Jes-jesus christ- you're gonna fucking kill me-"
Thinking about straightfroward!alternative!reader who Chris is convinced he has 0 chance with and is like head over heels after meeting her and like two weeks after her and Chris are best friends at this point and shes constantly coming over to see all his techy shit and he questions why because... you... arent into tech stuff? why would you come over all the time?
"Hey- why do you come over so often? i dont mean that- as like me telling you to stop! please don't! i i just you.. aren't really the tech type of girl so i just.. wanted to know.."
"...Because im attracted to you and like to hear your voice despite knowing jack shit about anything you're saying"
"Really? you- wait you just like.. me?"
"Yes? of course i do? you're attractive and my type and i wanted to make it clear you 100 percent have a chance with me if you're intrested."
"I- believe me i am quite interested now that i know that.."
Having crazy intense sex together and constantly making out so you can be as close to crawling into his skin as possible- he finds it cute but also really gross when you say you want to crawl into his ribs LMAO
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months ago
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AITA for not telling my ex-best friend that she's not invited to my wedding? (🚫👰‍♂️ for reference)
Light context, I (20s X) used to be very close with this girl we'll call F (20s F) for close to 15 years. We had a few falling outs in high-school but maintained a casual friendship afterwards as we went into college and beyond. From a really young age, we both made the promise to each other that we'd be each other's maid of honor at our respective weddings, and that promise would be occasionally referenced during our friendship (yknow, typical bff things).
To make a very long story short, the last chunk of our friendship I started acknowledging that she really wasn't the best influence on me and really worked to make everyone around us believe her narrative about our friendship (things like lying for years about how we became friends and refusing to acknowledge the correct story, or inserting herself into my family, including during a really traumatic time and she got upset when people weren't asking her about how much she was upset, things like that ect.). I had given up even trying to argue against it so I'd agree with her on a lot of it.
She was engaged a few years ago and ended up asking me to be her MOH, which I accepted at the time. What ended up happening was that the wedding was canceled, and I never got my dress I had pulled money from my savings to pay for, nor the money back.
I made the conscious decision at that point to start to distance myself from her, both in person and on the phone, but would still losely message her if I knew she was the best person to talk to about something. When I first started dating my fiancé, F was one of the main people I talked to about our budding relationship.
It's been several years now, and I have basically stopped interacting with F on all accounts. I found out from an old high-school friend that apparently she still tells people we're really close and hang out all the time, which I was quick to clarify wasn't true.
Here's where I feel like I could be TA: in all these years of me slowly backing away, I've avoided ever actually telling F that I wasn't comfortable with us interacting anymore, and I wasn't even sure I wanted to have her at the wedding. This is because she's been known to do some pretty drastic things in the past and cause scenes, and I really didn't want to deal with possible fallout, and now it's gotten so late that it feels harder and harder to do.
We had our first conversation in like 8 months recently with a few snaps where she showed off her new engagement ring and then asked about how wedding planning was going and when she was going to get asked and invited to it. I kinda let the question flop and never really responded, but now I know it's still on her mind.
The whole wedding party has already been chosen, as has our guest list, and F and her fiancé aren't on it. I feel like I should try to tell F at this point that I don't feel comfortable inviting her, but I really just want the whole situation to die out and would rather somehow miraculously get married without F even hearing about it until it's already done (which is basically impossible since F is still social media friends with my mom). At this point, I still have no plans to tell F that she's not part of the wedding, nor is she invited. I am genuinely worried she'd crash it if she found out where it was happening, but I'd rather take that risk and not mention it at all, despite it being a childhood promise when we were actually friends.
So, AITA for not telling her that I've been uncomfortable with our friendship and don't want her at all in or at my wedding?
What are these acronyms?
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tenderhungering · 9 months ago
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howdy howdy!!! do u have any thoughts on jack’s background? I think it’s really interesting the few tidbits we have (Illinois Boy™️, the Oh Calcutta story, getting his start in radio) + in the case of those first two its like. clearly been told time and time again for an audience. or if you’d prefer something else any thoughts on minnie 🙏😭 haunting the narrative icon
hello hello ! i so wish we’d gotten a little bit more about him but i’ve always imagined jack as being a little more introverted in his younger years? i think he really enjoys validation and this is such a difficult thing to achieve as someone as slightly awkward as jack. (don’t know why. maybe i just enjoy pathetic men but his blushing at naked bodies and his little “oh! not my chair!” has always made me feel like he has had to build up this persona he has made for himself) charming and quick-witted but very easily crumbles whenever he’s in an uncomfortable position (he seems to almost dissociate often?)
i think he might’ve been in some sort of college radio and broadcast (i’ve discussed this with a friend before!), and he was just so happy to build an audience. there’s no mention of his parents (my memory is foggy!) so part of me thinks that they’re either not in the picture or he’s lost them? so you know,,, mommy and daddy issues galore despite either one. maybe even one of them didn’t think being someone on television would maintain a steady flow of income. regardless, it might make him more interested in gaining that connection with the audience, getting validated for his feelings. getting praise for it. no you’re so cool please continue to make your show! i’m such a big fan!
he doesn’t know who is there for him as Mr. Midnight and who is there for him Jack Delroy so he blurs the line and vents to his audience, looks at the camera with every intention to impress.
i imagine meeting minnie was very sweet though. they were both sort of up and coming and it’s nice to have someone who understands that struggle! i imagine minnie being in theatre makes her the more extroverted out of the two ! (she was the one sharing stories and jack getting shy about them!), but also a lot more open about her emotions. jack seems like someone who keeps to himself and doesn’t quite understand how to communicate well (he does hide a lot from others when they ask what’s going on. might just be that 70s toxic masculinity upbringing that makes him unable to express these,, daddy issues? who knows!)
i do fully believe he loved her though! younger jack probably never dreamed of finding a girl like minnie. maybe a bit of idealization for her occurred earlier on but minnie was so fresh and bright and full of life even during her time spent ill that i always thought she just good humor and a knack for just being naturally talented at the arts.
which is a big difference between the two! minnie just had that spark of life, she was always going to end up being someone big, she knew how to capture a room. jack was awkward and had to find his voice, he had to learn what people liked, what good jokes landed and how to deliver them, he had to work hard (and i don’t mean this as minnie not working hard! jack just had to work to become this persona while minnie was able to become her characters almost immediately, she’s able to understand their emotions and feel for them immediately. i think it makes her a much more empathetic person while jack is a lot more sympathetic. jack needs to be verbally told what people are feeling which might be why ratings are so comforting. they’re either good or bad! they’re easy to read.) and become who we know as Mr. Midnight. something of an artist obsessed with not their craft but what their craft will mean to others
sorry if this wasn’t exactly background stuff pfft! i more so focused on how their personalities were! i do think that minnie was possibly in dance, and has that ability to be able to play a song after she hears it on time on the piano. i think she has to teach jack how to pick up on it though, he’s sort of stumbling and his keys are sour baha. he probably used to stay up late studying little mannerisms talk shows had. i think he has a natural charm to him but that charm is a lot more meek than what we see? i love them both dearly,,,
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animeyanderelover · 2 years ago
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Um hi i don't know if im late or not but i wan t to send in a request: i would like some haikyuu hc with reader who is kinda like isabela from encanto, yknow like being flawlessly perfect and having powers where she could grow flowers and then all sorts of other plants, but like them figuring out she has powers? I hope that made sense. I don't know if i can still send 10, but you changed the rules so im guessing yeah. So for this could you do yamaguchi, hinata, kageyama, sugawara, kenma, akaashi, oikawa, kita, suna, and goshiki, thank you
I will shock some people with this statement but I didn't watch Encanto so my description is probably a bit off. Since Corona I didn't really bother with cinemas, I've only recently watched Puss in Boots because two of my friends wanted to go with me. It was fantastic though.
Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, clinginess, jealousy, insecurity, touchiness, manipulation
S/o is like Isabella from Encanto
Kōshi Sugawara
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🤍Sugawara himself tries to step his own game up when he falls for his darling. He knows that he has weaknesses and imperfections and is not delusional enough to believe that he will ever be the best in anything but even he feels initially a slight pressure when in your presence. From looks to grades, you do everything with such graceful ease that it’s not surprising that you’re that popular as you are. This slight pressure soon fades though as he gets to know you better and grows more comfortable. From there on he starts to get more worried though as he realizes that you yourself might feel quite pressured to always be perfect to not ruin your image. He frequently reminds you that it’s fine to not be perfect, especially around him and that you should feel more comfortable around him. At times he even ushers you to sit down, relax and let him do the task. It might not turn out as great as if you’d do it yourself but his angel deserves some rest too.
🤍Suga wants his darling to be honest with him and maybe it’s also because of his rather twisted wish to be someone you can fully tell everything. He also knows that he shouldn’t push you though to make you uncomfortable and possibly lead you to avoiding him. He happens to find out during a time where he decides to visit you to ask how you’re doing that he catches you making flowers bloom around you. You’re in shock and panic at the beginning before Sugawara snaps out of his awe and rushes to you to calm you down. He apologizes for just popping up without an announcement and even if he has questions, he promises you that he can wait. You don’t take long to tell him the truth though since you’ve been debating on whether to tell him or not anyways, something that fills Suga’s chest with pride when hearing that you trust him that much. He gets more protective since he wants to keep your secret, tries to talk you into not telling any more people. The less know, the lower the risk.
Tobio Kageyama
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🌧️Kageyama is, despite the initial rather intimidating impression, deep down somewhat insecure himself. He probably doesn’t mind too often though since his passion lies in volleyball so grades that tend to be lower aren’t his biggest issue, unless it interferes with his play that is. When he goes down the rabbit hole of obsession because of you though, everything changes. Suddenly he’s hit with a truck of self-doubt and you being as flawlessly graceful as you are does not help. He wishes so desperately to talk to you but can’t even form a coherent sentence when you look at him which only humiliates and embarrasses him further. You notice how he’s often standing in the near distance, glancing constantly at you. He falters every time you approach him and talk to him, his heart beating in his chest. That shyness contrasts greatly with his aggressive and hostile attitude whenever someone spites you out of jealousy or wants to ask you out.
🌧️Just when he finally gains the courage to talk to you and fumbled around with ideas to ask you for a date, even if he has no idea how to give someone as perfect as you the perfect date, something unexpected happens. Kageyama is still stalking you for a large part, partly concerned and partly paranoid that persistent admirers will come after you. That’s how he witnesses the sight of you creating flowers and it’s only when you turn around that you notice him silently watching you with wide eyes. He’s frantically apologizing to you when you see him, terrified that you’ll despite him now that he knows your secret. You deal with it surprisingly calm though although you make him promise to never tell anyone. Tobio can’t deny that you two grow closer though because he has that knowledge and it makes him far more possessive, determined to not let anyone else find out so he can be the only one that close to you.
Shōyō Hinata
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☀️Hinata is easily a blushing mess around his darling but that never stops him from approaching her and talking to her. He’s rather sociable and also very energetic and his childish energy is honestly refreshing for you. He’s surely embarrassed when he fails to do what you finish with ease but is determined to learn as long as you teach him and doesn’t wallow too much in his failure, if you cheer him up that is which you luckily do. It’s obvious he adores you but not with the same reverence you’re usually seen with, he treats you more like you two are still equals and doesn’t worry his head too much over things. He compliments you with an excited and awed look on your face when he sees you doing something cool, pesters you to teach him too and also makes an effort to recall the smaller things on you. Because of all the attention he’s often a sulking mess though, unhappy with the lack of attention.
☀️Shōyō is terribly clingy and when you aren’t with him, he’s often chatting and texting you. On this particular day you don’t answer nor read his messages though which is why he decides spontaneously to drop by at your house. He didn’t envision to see you creating plants and flowers though, watches in awe and admiration until you notice. When your eyes meet, he storms to you with stars shining in his eyes as he rambles about how he didn’t know you could do that and that this was so cool and beautiful. He even asks you if you can teach him how to make flowers and plants bloom. It’s like he forgot that a normal human can’t do that, or he just doesn’t care in that moment. It’s hard to be angry with him when he’s that enthusiastic so you scold him only mildly although you clarify to him that no one should know about your powers. Hinata makes an oath to you, swears that he’ll never tell a soul about it. And despite being very talkative, he keeps that promise.
Tadashi Yamaguchi
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💕Tadashi is going to avoid his darling for a whole good while because he is such an insecure guy. Tsukishima makes fun of him, tells him to just gather the courage to just say a simple "Hello" to you yet not even that is something that Tadashi can do. He just can't stop comparing himself with you and in all areas you're far more superior and better than he could ever hope to be. Surely someone as gorgeous and perfect as you wouldn't want to interact with someone as under average as he is. He's terrified to not be seen as enough, especially since he believes that someone as you only deserves the best and he definitely doesn't view himself like that. The first time you actually noticed him and chatted a bit with him, he had even troubles looking you directly into your eyes, far too flustered and also slightly scared. He felt like ascending to heaven afterwards though, especially once you graced him with that sweet smile of yours due to his somewhat adorable behavior.
💕It's all a pure accident, he just happens to see you passing by in the distance and follows you out of curiosity he can't suppress since this isn't your usual route. Once he sees you growing flowers, his mind goes blank with shock and awe before he quietly leaves, still too shocked to fully comprehend. At night he lays awake in his bed and arrives at the conclusion that you're probably a god of sorts which only hits him harder with insecurity. Why should you even bother with a human like him then? Out of guilt for spying, Yamaguchi confesses to you within the next days that he's witnessed your powers, glancing at you surprised when you start laughing when he accidentally refers to you as a god. You tell him the truth afterwards, admit that you'd wish that he wouldn't see you as a god of any sort. You hang out with him more now that he knows your secret anyways, feel relieved that Yamaguchi proves himself to be trustworthy. He's on a shy and insecure spectrum so you can't help but look out for him a bit more, something that Yamaguchi finds himself secretly enjoying.
Tōru Oikawa
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👑Now here is a guy who tends to be arrogant himself and very possssive and loud when it comes to making it a point to show that he's the best for you. Honestly speaking, in Oikawa's eyes his darling and him should already be a couple since he is convinced that both of them are just perfect for each other. To show his darling that he's right, he constantly hangs around her and impresses her at any chance he gets. He's acting like a peacock who is flexing his feathers in front of you so you always pay attention to him because, guess what, he hates it when you turn your attention to someone else. There's no better way to describe him than with the term jerk when we're talking about how he makes fun and bullies everyone who thinks they have a chance with you, not afraid to start gossip or count down every embarrassing thing that ever happened to them. Occasionally Tōru suffers from insecurities too, times where he grows more clingy and slightly unhinged for approval from your side.
👑You find it already weird when he doesn't accompany you on your way out of school although you do guess that the lost match probably has just gotten to him. All the more reason that you feel a wave of dread washing over you when you see him stepping out from behind the corner where he was hiding whilst you were carelessly using your power a bit because you thought no one was watching you. You don't like the weird look in his eyes as his eyes go back and forth between you and the flowers on the ground. He asks you if anyone else knows and you can only shake your head. Your little hell starts from there since Oikawa is not shy to manipulate you with this newfound knowledge, his frustration and possessive side getting in that moment the better of him. He sets up the condition that he won't tell anyone if you start dating him, doesn't leave you with much of a choice in that moment. As soon as he has recovered though, he's gushing and complimenting you affectionately for your gorgeous ability instead of only using it as a way to blackmail you.
Keiji Akaashi
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🍁You like Akaashi a lot and that all boils down to the fact that he doesn't treat you like you're some sort of celebrity that one always has to talk about. Most people only compliment you and adore you for your perfection but you genuinely feel like Akaashi is interested in the person that is hiding behind the talent and the perfection. He talks with you like a normal human being and his conversations are never always around the topics of you being so amazing and cool. Sure, he compliments you and lets you know that he respects you but knows that there are other interesting things to talk about besides you. You even feel quite flattered when he admits after a while where you two have grown closer that he's sometimes worried that you might be a bit tired from always having to be perfect. You reassure him that it's alright but he reminds you that he'll listen if you ever feel the need to talk about something. You consider a few times telling him your secrets.
🍁Because Akaashi is so incredibly subtle with his slightly manipulative and protective behavior, you end up trusting him more blindly than you should which is why you at one point openly admit to him that you have special powers. He doesn't fully believe you until you truly show him, causing his stoic expression to crack with a surprised look on his face. He didn't think that your biggest secret would be the reveal that you can grow plants but he instantly understands why you're so adament to keep this a secret and he reassures you that he will never tell a single soul. Akaashi grows to overthink more though as he realizes soon that your secret truly is a little burden to carry, one he now feels too. He grows a hint more protective, always turns around to make sure that no one is following you two when you go home and scolds people with a hint more sarcasm when he catches someone actually following you which leads to him accompanying you more.
Kenma Kozume
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🐱Kenma will without a doubt also be a guy that will try to avoid his darling at first. He's more on a introverted side as it is and so the people who constantly surround his darling intimidate him. Not even to mention that he sort of thinks about his own talents when he is constantly hears from others and sees for himself that you can seemingly do everything without even practicing it much. This self-conscious thoughts really hold him back so the only thing he really does at first is stalking you in school and stalking your social media accounts. Kuroo realizes what is going on in his silent friend who seems to be brooding a lot in thoughts since a while now. Kuroo doesn't have as much doubtful thoughts as Kenma and is immediately up to approach you and help his shy friend. If Kenma isn't comfortable talking to you in public, Kuroo will just make sure you two bump into each other when there are no people fawning over you and admiring you.
🐱Because Kuroo arranged certain things and encouraged Kenma to go to that place on this special day is why Kenma witnessed how flowers bloomed with every step you take in the first place. One quick snap of his phone to have a photo is all he does before leaving before you can notice him. He's taken back by what he has seen and spends the rest of the day just sort of contemplating how he should deal with what he has just seen. It's only a few days later that he messages you, thanks to Kuroo giving him your number, and asks if you two can meet because he has something important to ask you. You expected a confession of love because you're aware of his crush but nearly choke on the air when he shows you the photo. His gaze directly into your own eyes is fleeting as he is as flustered as he is sort of ashamed. He promises that he won't tell anyone and delete the picture but only if you tell him the truth. He's sly enough to know that you're bound to spend more time with him now that he knows about your secret.
Tsutomu Goshiki
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🌟Tsutomu is possibly your biggest fanboy and cheerleader in the whole city. He's always admired you for your seemingless neverending talents and is always one of the first ones to shower you with compliments and confessions of his great admiration. Similar to Hinata he doesn't let himself get discouraged by your perfection which he doesn't have. Short phases of discourage when he fails in something spectacularly which you did with elegant grace before he gets all fired up and tries again, something you can't help but admire him for. All trouble is in the end worth it for him when you praise him for having gotten better in which case he walks around for the rest of the day with a puffed-out chest, filled with pride. Goshiki gets squirmish when you do the same to someone else though and doesn't allow himself to stop until he's gotten your praise once again, most likely for the same reason why you gave the other person a compliment.
🌟He's pretty much known as your puppy by now since he always follows you around when he has the chance to do so and on this day this isn't anything different. Only that he witnesses something you actually didn't want anyone to witness and it's specifically because he can't hold back the gasp of awe and shock when he sees your ability that you see him. He tenses up and his whole face turns red as he realizes that he has just blown his cover, stutters out some apologies and that he didn't mean to spy on you. You just stare at him in shock, trying to come up with the fastest solution on how to fix this problem. Your secret is blown either way, he's seen it already so you have little to no choice left to eventually admit that you have some special abilities. This causes Goshiki's admiration to grow even more for you. He obviously knows that he can't mention this to anyone else but when you two are alone, he's asking you with shining eyes if you could show your powers to him one more time.
Kita Shinsuke
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☁️Shinsuke is also someone who worries about the potential stress and pressure you carry around with you to fulfill everyone's expectations. That's why he's always willing to help in any way you can since people tend to give you too much credit and leave you with a lot of things to do, thinking that you're one who can do everything with walking ease. He is slightly disappointed whenever he sees someone doing exactly that and even if you insist with this flawless smile of yours that you're glad to do whatever you can, he always insists that he helps you. Kita isn't shy to call such people out too for what they're obviously thinking, scolds them which causes most to feel a bit ashamed of themselves. It's the same for your rather persistent and somewhat obsessive stalkers who invade your private bubble in which case he gets even stricter with rather blunt words and a pointed and cold stare. He's one of the few who see you as more than a golden woman so you appreciate his presence in your life.
☁️It's likely that you think about admitting to Kita that you're not a really normal human. Kita himself seems to realize that you're debating something regarding him and does his best to give you the time you need to make a decision, somewhat confident that he doesn't have to worry that it will be something bad. One day you call him over to your house and he tries his best to hide his slight curiosity. You seem more on edge than normally when you tell him that you have a secret you want to entrust him with and he's quick to calm you down with soothing words. You see a glint of surprise when he sees your abilities, he's stunned for a while before he regains his composure and gives you a small smile. Shinsuke doesn't treat you like a deity afterwards which makes you feel relieved that your secret didn't change the relationship between you two. You don't have any doubts that he might spoil your secret. Considering that he is later on a farmer, he would learn to appreciate your gift even more although he insists that you don't have to feel like you have to use your abilites for him.
Suna Rintarō
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🦊You have troubles reading Suna due to his stoic and somewhat uninterested expression he keeps all of the time. He himself doesn't even realize at first that he's possibly a bit obsessed with you although he always catches his eyes following you when you enter his field of vision. He's big in snapping pictures of you all of the time since he can't help himself most of the time. At the same time he calls out others for doing the same thing he's doing when he catches them doing it. Considering that you're often the center of attention, Suna has to step up his own stalking since you often have a group of people following you around. It only serves to make him an even better stalker though in the end. Checks your social media accounts daily. That is the most Suna does though because he is clueless how to approach you. He doesn't know how to express his own emotions but at the very least he has no other doubts that other people tend to have because of your shining perfection. He's curious though to know how you feel about him.
🦊You're in shock to discover that Suna can be terribly manipulative when he finds out your biggest secret. You yourself don't even know that he saw you until you receive a video from him which shows you using your abilities to make flowers bloom. You feel your blood growing temporarily cold, try your best to keep up your smile for the rest of the day to let no one know. The next time you see him, you approach him and ask him with the prettiest smile you can muster if you two can meet alone later that day. He already knows what you want and just agress with a nod of his head. Later that day he comes to your house where you confront him about the stunt he pulls, demand him to delete that video. Suna stares at you for a good while, you see it in his eyes that he thinks about something. In the end he tells you that he'll do it under two conditions. The first is that you tell him the truth and the second one is that he wants you to spend more time with him.
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inkdemonapologist · 1 year ago
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Do you ever think about how Nathan Arch is canonically Joey’s sugar daddy?
YALL HAVE A WILD DEFINITION OF “CANONICALLY” SOMETIMES
What we know (assuming there's no exciting new nathan lore im gonna discover when i read FtB, in which case don't tell me lmao), canonically, is that Nathan gave Joey a lot of advice about starting his company, some more advice while JDS was running and looked over the land for the Bendyland park with him, and that when things got real bad for JDS, Joey wrote to Nathan, hemming and hawing about how he normally definitely wouldn’t do this, to ask for a specific amount of money to help with the bills. We also can assume he’s a little older than Joey, since they were in the military together when Joey was too young to be in the military. 
What is not hard AT ALL to read between the lines is that Nathan had a big crush on Joey Drew, source: every footnote in the Illusion of Living, several audiologs in BatDR. 
What is certainly possible to believe is that Joey would never mention if Nathan was giving him consistent financial support, and that Nathan would similarly gloss over it, because he likes the image of Joey as a clever self-made man who deserves his success and wants to preserve Joey’s good name. 
We actually don’t know if Nathan gave Joey any money, we just know that Joey asked for it, and that everything we know about Nathan suggests he would’ve been happy to help (and everything we know about Joey suggests he would’ve downplayed how much he really needed and thus the studio going under anyway does not mean Nathan ignored the request.) So it’s quite reasonable to suspect he did, but even THAT isn’t canon confirmed.
And, like, not to be That Guy except that this is my blog and I can That Guy to my heart’s content — giving someone money does not make you a sugar daddy. SUGAR DADDY IS A TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP and gay relations between Joey Drew and Nathan Arch are the realm of headcanon. LIKE, A HEADCANON THAT CAN BE VERY STRONGLY SUPPORTED AND ARGUED FOR, if someone told me "wow joey and nathan DEFINITELY had something going on" I would laugh and agree, but it's an interpretation nonetheless. You could make an equally strong argument that Nathan is closer to what the kids call a simp, praising Joey’s brilliance and helping him with his problems and eagerly paying his bills because of a huge unrequited crush that Joey took advantage of but never returned. There's several ways to read it. 
But... I do think a lot about how these two stayed in contact, stayed friends, even though Joey always seemed to be playing a role around Nathan, never quite felt comfortable explaining the things he felt most passionately about. He tells him about Bendyland, but clams up when Nathan doesn’t understand why it matters so much to him. It doesn’t seem like Joey ever tells him about Audrey; even though Nathan can hear the joy in his voice and notes that his old friend sounds more like himself than he has in a long time, he never knows why. Nathan is so so so taken with Joey, but there’s something about Nathan that Joey doesn’t trust. 
Interesting that Joey never does brag about Nathan investing in him as proof of his own business acumen, though he doesn’t mind bragging about the investment of a grief-stricken mother who only regarded him as a polite young man. What’s threatening, then, about the idea of Nathan supporting him? It’s interesting the way Nathan is fascinated with every part of him and Joey always holds himself at arm’s length. Interesting how Joey enjoys his company, but gets uncomfortable and changes the subject whenever Nathan regards him, positively, as someone who pulled himself up to success out of nothing. Interesting to compare Nathan to Kyle, the other rich friend of Joey's who gets called a “sugar daddy” by the fandom (despite being younger than Joey), how Joey is uncomfortable when Kyle prods him about his status and tries to take credit for him, and then the way Nathan doesn’t do this but Joey still shies away whenever he hits the edges of those topics. ...It’s almost more interesting if Joey was trying his absolute hardest to avoid Nathan funding him, despite the fact that Nathan was clearly taken with him and probably would have been happy to help. What strings were attached to Kyle that Joey was afraid to find in Nathan?
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archangeldyke-all · 11 months ago
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feel free to ignore this if it makes you upset or uncomfortable!! I was watching this video by Caelan Conrad about how grooming is portrayed with lgbtq people and it really just broke me.
I’m a 18 year old lesbian from the south. I’ve come out to my immediate family (most are Christian) but most of them dismissed it as me being to young to know. I’m so fucking scared that if I even end up dating, that they’ll being to see me as a groomer or something. I have a little sister and it hurts so much when I distance myself from her but I just can’t handle the possibility of someone thinking that I would ever hurt her like that.
i know that a lot of lgbtq people find joy in life but it feels so unattainable with everything right now. Do you ever get over this daunting fear? Do you have it?
hi baby. i wish i could give you the biggest fucking hug in the world rn. i've never seen this video, but i do know a LOT about this fear and being dismissed. this is going to be a long post, lol
i came out at the age of 13 to my mom. it was a complete accident, i didn't mean to come out, but her intuition figured it out. she was certain i was too young to know, and i had my first ever panic attack right in the middle of the lunch rush at a local cafe! it was horrible. at school, i was the first queer kid out, and as a result i faced a lot of horrible, shitty, disgusting, perverted questions and comments and teases. i was raised incredibly catholic (like, church 2/3 times a week) but through my adolescence i lost my faith and... no one was sad to see me go.
all of this is to say: i'm very familiar with this feeling. i doubt you'll ever meet a lesbian that hasn't felt this way. we're made to feel so predatory and ashamed for feelings and attractions that are completely natural and normal. (there's plenty of sociological reasons for why queer people in general are always portrayed as predators, and there's even more reasons that lesbians are specifically targeted by the 'grooming'/'predator' comments so often that i'd be happy to talk about some other time.) it's depressing and discouraging, but i promise you every single one of us feels this way. you are not alone.
i also promise that it gets easier. it's so fucking corny and lame, but it's also true.
give it time. your family will become a smaller and smaller fraction of your world. this isn't to say they will matter any less, just that your world will expand beyond them. you'll find passion in your work or art or hobbies and gain more freedom as you get older. you will make queer friends, you will find queer spaces. they won't be where you expect, and it likely won't be glamorous, especially in the south, (hell, coming from a small town midswesterner here: some of my best memories come from loitering in the wal-mart parking lot and breaking into the public parks after closing) but you will find them. you'll also make straight friends who love you, and they'll prove to you that the world is changing for the better! you'll work with queer people, you'll love queer people, you'll beef with queer people, and each time you meet another person like you, you'll feel your world grow a little bigger.
most of your family will come around in time. if they don't-- don't worry about it. you can't control what they choose to believe about you, you can only control you. don't push away your sister-- you'll regret it when you get older. instead, show her how much you love her every single day, treat her with compassion and respect, and she'll treat you the same way, regardless of the shit she hears from your family.
also: anyone who accuses you of doing something horrible is just projecting. you are not the problem-- they are.
and finally: despite the fact that i've been out of the closet since i was a kid, and the fact that 'dyke' was my nickname in highschool-- i was scared to say the word 'lesbian' until i was 19 years old. i was consumed with the fear, discomfort, and disgust you're feeling right now. but as i grew up and my world got bigger, i realized that there wasn't anything wrong with me, there was just a whole lot of shit wrong with the world. and it took time to unlearn all the shit swirling in my head, but day after day, i got more confident with myself. what helped the most, though, was reading about, and meeting and interacting with other lesbians (old or young, annoying or mean or nice, butch or femme-- any lesbian) whenever i could. the more i learned about lesbians and lesbian history, the more compassion and respect i had for them-- and then for myself for being one of them.
and now look at me: i'm running a lesbian smut blog!!
joy is on the horizon for you, baby. it'll start small, but it'll grow and grow and grow. i really hope this helped you believe it <3 i love you so much, i'm sending you a million kisses, i'd you'd like them. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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oswinunknown · 10 months ago
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(to my followers and mutuals who see this. please do not interact with this post. I am being called to respond on a personal issue publically and in meeting their terms, i am making this post to respond to them. please don't be worried.)
to the person who sent an ask to me just now. don't worry. I won't name you. I see your ask. and this is me letting you know im responding.
firstly, please stop attempting to message me or interact with any of my blogs. my last message was telling you (or, in my perception, your friend) to stop messaging me about the situation as i thought i had resolved it and would rather keep the topic between me and you. only since then you have admitted to me that you were only posing as your friend to manipulate a response out of me. which not only worked, but broke my trust in you since i had genuinely believed it. even now you sent me an ask on a throwaway account just to message me because i had blocked you already. you keep on breaking my trust despite the fact i keep blocking you on every account that you try to message me on. i have seen every blog you made in order to get past the block and you keep finding ways to message me either via dms or asks. please, stop. ive blocked you for a reason and if you don't respect that and continue to try and keep on reaching me i will have to get someone involved.
secondly, please stop vagueposting about me on your vent blog. Yes, ive seen some of it, yes ive seen you mention me by name several times. ive kept the situation as private as possible on my end as so this situation would hopefully blow over quickly. but hearing that you continue to mention me by name, and at least vaguely about me has continued to, and even made me downright uncomfortable and bothered. even my friends, who have seen said posts are incredibly uncomfortable about them. please stop mentioning me, or my narrator in your posts.
i have been patient with you as much as possible for the last few weeks since ive blocked you.
however, in having been forced to break my silence, i need to say this: please stop messaging me, talking about me, making alternate blogs to reach me, and interacting with me on any of my blogs and in any capacity. you have broken my trust, made me uncomfortable with how close you thought we were despite the fact i don't consider you as a friend and i didnt know you all too well before you started sharing very personal information that i was uncomfortable to have received. you have given me immense grief and paranoia, and i was willing to suffer in silence until you came into my inbox to ask me publicly. so this is my response.
please do not make any more efforts into reaching me, and please stop mentioning me by name.
thank you. and i wish you the best.
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rhythmgamer · 2 years ago
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roommate is not in room rn i feel semi-safe hallelujah
(kind of a rant follows beneath Keep Reading)
(btw it's not like i feel she's physically dangerous to me but she hurt me a lot emotionally and basically has a very dominating personality in general like AFTER apologising she set down new "boundaries" cutting off any talk of academics, colleagues, department, batchmates, marks, internships etc. cus she said it'd be better if we put our academic lives and personal lives separate (which doesn't make sense HERE cus i live in a residential college where there's no clear boundary between academic and personal life??? and that automatically cuts off talking about 90% of the things here???) AND she also said to not share each other's problems even casually like??? girl what can i talk about then? the shitty food from the canteens?)
(also. she thinks i have a "bad" habit. what's the "bad" habit? asking her how her classes went or how her day went when she returns to the room. or maybe sharing a random tidbit about my own day or anything else while she happens to be doing an assignment or a quiz (mind you, it isn't really possible for me to know she has an assignment or a quiz unless she tells me) so yeah. no chitchat unless she's idle or on the phone. yeah. honestly not all people like talking about their day and i understand that. but why call it a bad habit. you consider me to be "close" to you (in her own words). is it not normal for someone "close" to you to want to talk about daily life? why do you harshly go "don't talk to me I do not want to talk rn" EVERYDAY when i just wanna know how are you? why act as if I've been doing something horrible?) (funny part is initially she used to complain that her ex-roommate would never talk to her and she finds it nice that i talk to her. but now she herself cut off 95% of the things i can talk with her. like girl what do you want???)
(but yeah this is a person who coaims that they believe they can live independently without anyone's support in the world, no friends, no family. even told me "you may be my roommate and i may consider you close but i don't expect you to be there for me when i support, nO oFfEnSe". told this to my face. and in her words she considers me "close". and this same person has a laptop AND an ipad AND a standing fan bought for her by her father and regularly vents to a senior about her ex. suuuure you can live on your own without your father's money and the senior's emotional support. suuuure. should've seen the red flag already tbh)
(anyway I haven't even talked about what was the actual situation due to which i took shelter in a friend's room temporarily. and it's too long and too trivial to talk of here (unless someone wants to hear of that pile of dogshit). and there are other red flags about her too like how she constantly lumps me in with the "girls" despite knowing im nonbinary and misgenders me and once made a comment about the shape of my boobs as a compliment(???) and asked why don't i wear a binder if I'm uncomfortable with my boobs. but yeah. it's like at this point i feel scared and on my guard whenever she's in the room. i cannot relax or feel safe. and i still have an entire third year to go. idk how I'll manage. maybe I won't)
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ghoulystay · 2 years ago
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Part Three.
Jungkook vs. Hyunjin. Pov story.
Female reader. 18 and older story.
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You arrive at the event that is being held for Straykids comeback. You can't help but feel very uncomfortable because you literally have no idea what is going to happen. Jyp management recognized you, so they let you through. You see the other members prepping for their show they all say hi to you they were always so welcoming of you. You tell them you were looking for Hyunjin, Felix noticed something different about you, so he pulled you to the side. "Hey y/n, is everything okay? You look pale." You play it off. "Yeah, don't worry about me. I really need to find Hyunjin, though." He eyes you being skeptical. "Y/n, you're my best friend. What's going on?" You try so hard not to cry, but you failed, your tears come racing out of your eyes uncontrollably. Felix brings you in for a hug. "What's going y/n you're really worrying me." Before you were getting ready to say what was happening, you heard someone interrupting at the doorway, Felix let's you go. It's Hyunjin.
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"Baby, what's going on?" What's going in here?" He says, not knowing what to think. They both stare at you, waiting to say something until you finally blurt it out. "It's him. It's Jungkook. He's coming here." You say choking back tears, Hyunjin and Felix share a worried look towards each other. "Wait a minute, what do you mean he's coming here y/n?" Felix asked. So you begin telling them the story from beginning to end on how and why it began. Their expressions definitely went from 0 to 100 quickly. They went into protection mode. They were angry. Felix left the room to go get ready for the show. It was just you and Hyunjin alone in the dressing room. "Look y/n I love you okay, you're it for me, and I'm not letting your ex get in between us. Do you hear me?" You look into his beautiful dark eyes, looking straight into your soul. Hyunjin definitely had a way to make you melt every time despite being together for a long while he just had that effect on you since the beginning. "I know, baby. I love you too. I just don't understand him. I feel silly for reacting this way." Hyunjin holds you in his embrace. "I get it, love, but just know I'll protect you at all costs, I'll protect us no matter." You both share a passionate kiss. "I gotta go, babe, wait for me, okay?" He says before walking out the door. You nod and smile. "Why am I so worked up. Everything will be fine. I'm sure he meant nothing by it.
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I should go out there to watch Hyunjins performance." While you make your way down the hall to go backstage, you can't help but hear a commotion from a distance you rush as fast as possible to the location and there it was the very thing you were hoping to not happen. A group of people, Straykids, management, bodyguards, all pulling Jungkook and Hyunjin apart. They were fighting. You run to Hyunjin, his lip kind of bloody. "Baby, are you okay?" You say to him, but he doesn't respond his eyes still on Jungkook he was definitely pist. "I told you I would come, baby hahaha!" Jungkook is laughing he's loving every second of this. You walk to him. "Let's fucking talk, outside. Now!" Jungkook laughs and turns to Hyunjins direction. "Don't wait up, more than likely she's leaving with me, hahaha." You grab his arm and pull him outside. "Seriously, JK! What is it you're trying to prove here!" He gets closer to you he's inches from you. "I told you, I'm here for you. I want you back y/n, I can't let you go. I've watched you and him for too long and it makes me sick." You can't believe the words coming out of his mouth. "Grow up, JK, we had our moment. We had our time, but it wasn't meant to be. Get that through your head dammit!" Jungkooks face gets serious. "No, I still believe in us. All those songs you wrote about me, all those love songs, all those secret messages you sent me behind your managers back, your telling me you just gave up on us and moved to the next one like I was nothing, I know deep down you still feel something for me I know you do." You step away from him. "That was in the past, jk. We are just a part of history. Yes, I loved you, and yes, I always did, and yes, I was always hoping for a miracle that we would get together again, but it's never going to happen, okay? I love.." Right when you were going to finish your sentence, Jungkook steps towards you, kissing you with so much hot passion. You push him, but he still comes towards you.
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No matter how much you push him away, he holds you, not letting go. "JK, please. Please..." You didn't realize it then, but you gave in. You kissed back. There, you both stood kissing each other. It was a hot, passionate kiss full of hunger that you didn't know was even there. The kiss turns hot so fast. You can feel his hard dick on your thigh. He kisses your neck. You finally come back to earth from your steamy make-out session with your ex-boyfriend. "Get away, I can't do this. This wasn't supposed to happen!" You finally push away from him. "I told you y/n I know you still feel something for me." Before you walk out the door, you turn to face him. "Fuck you jk! And you're wrong, leave me the fuck alone and that goes for my boyfriend as well! Leave us alone!" He stares at you, and with that, his final response was. "Sure, I'll leave you alone. But baby, it's only a matter of time before I see you standing on my front door. I'll be a patient boy. I still believe in us, after all." You slam the door behind you. You run back to where the show is being held, and you notice that hyunjin isn't on stage. Your bodyguards come up to you. "You're man is in his dressing room. He wants you to go to him." You walk your way to the dressing room once you enter he's lying on the couch with his arm covering half his face. You walk towards him where you sit beside him on the floor. "Hey baby." He doesn't say anything. You can see a tear falling down the side of his face. "Look, I can't imagine how you must be feeling, and I'm sorry for everything. It's my fault." He removes his arm away from his face and turns his face towards you. "Why is it your fault l?" He asks. "Well, if I didn't go to that party, maybe none of this would be happening right now." He sits up, cupping the side of your face he says. "You wouldn't have known this was gonna happen. It's not your fault you have an ex who is too immature to let you go. But you're mine, love, and he needs to deal with it." Y/n gets emotional hearing his sincere words. "Come on baby, let's go home. I'm sure kkami is waiting for us." He tells you while getting his bag. You both leave and go home. You can only hope that this is the last of the drama. Is it? Guilt sets in.
To be continued.
Stay tuned for more.
Team Jungkook or Team Hyunjin.
Remember, this is just a story. Not real.
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