#i love attention and over sharing

[infinityonhighvevo]

i know it’s personal but if you are ever interested in sharing that story on here i’d be interested in hearing it! <3

hehehehe thanks anon i love talking about my heart problems <3 medical story time below so trigger warning for all that; tldr i died but i got better

so i’m in my first semester of my sophomore year of college and i get sick. i’m the type of guy who gets sick a bunch but, having just come out of a COVID spike in the area i lived in, i was nervous. i go to the doctor and test negative so i assume it’s just a miserable cold. (i test negative another twelve times throughout the ordeal.) i have a fever for a few days; it goes away but i’m still coughing, short of breath but not wheezing, and tired. i’m sick like this for like six or seven weeks (yeah, weeks) before i go to my doctor again. after a clear chest x-ray she’s like, okay, your lungs sound like ass, it’s walking pneumonia, take ten days of antibiotics and get another x-ray if it doesn’t get better

meanwhile, i can’t walk anywhere because i can’t breathe, i have to stop while walking up the stairs to my fifth floor dorm room because my heart races any time i do more than two flights, my feet are crazy swollen, i have to sleep sitting up because i can’t breathe lying down, and i keep waking up at like 2 in the morning to pee because my muscles are so weak i genuinely can’t hold it. basically, i’m super gross. (and, as it turns out, dying.)

the ten days of antibiotics go by and i’m sicker than ever. i go get a second chest x ray through my school’s medical center. (which sucks, by the way. the people care but they can’t do shit.) i get a call at the end of the day from them: they want me to uber to the er for a CT. yeah. uber. props to them for not saddling me with an ambulance bill but i was for real dying and they should have done it anyway. my good friend is luckily free to drive me, though, so i scarf down some microwaveable mac and cheese (because college) and off we go.

i sit in the ER with a former friend for six whole hours before i get taken back. i get tested on, i throw up my maccy cheese, and finally at 2am i get told by the er doc, very bitchily, that i need to have a procedure done. i am the type of deathly ill where my brain just isn’t cognitively functioning, so i do not understand what he is saying. i ask if he can wait until the morning so my parents can be there. he rolls his eyes and is just as bitchy to my surgeon father who i call on the phone. i don’t end up having the procedure done, and my mom comes to get me first thing next morning. she takes me to the hospital my dad works at. i get my lung drained!

the x-ray that my school had sent me to get showed that my right lung had almost completely collapsed. for context, each lung can hold about a liter of air. i had 850mL of fluid drained from my pleural space, which is the sac surrounding the lung. it had almost completely collapsed my lung. the procedure was gross but not that painful. they stick a syringe between your ribs and pull the fluid out. you get numbed, so it just feels like weird pressure, but the fluid itself is nasty and murky. i felt better after my thoracentesis—still sick, but better. they kept me overnight for observation, thinking that it was just bad pneumonia from my asthma and that everything was fixed.

everything was not even close to being fixed. i slept like ass and felt even worse. at like 8am they did an echocardiogram, which is basically a heart ultrasound. by 10am i’d been moved up to a different wing and was shaking hands with the guy about to break my sternum open and save my life by stopping my heart for a few hours.

basically, i had a strain of strep that travels in the bloodstream. it had, by sheer force of terrible luck, infected my mitral valve, completely destroying it. we think i had a congenital defect, but the valve was so fucked when i got to the hospital that they literally couldn’t tell. if i hadn’t had surgery when i did, i think i would have only lasted another week. i got open heart surgery to replace my valve with a prosthetic, and then a pacemaker surgery five days later because my rhythm didn’t come back on its own. i got put on hardcore antibiotics for like six weeks that i lowkey became allergic to at the end.

overall, it was not a fun experience but it did dramatically shape me as a human being. i’m now a cyborg and i get cold/numb fingers and toes really easily. also my scars turn bright red when i drink, which is a fun party trick. i’m bluetooth enabled, which is terrifying, and i get special treatment at the airport, which is nice because i like attention. the best part? built in icebreaker for the rest of my life. the worst part was the dying. obviously.

seriously, though, if you’re short of breath for a while, have a fever at any point, and have swollen feet, have someone carry you to the hospital. those three together are big indicators that your heart is fucked.

[napping-sapphic]

yeah, my life can just get so tough😔 (constantly in the mood to flirt but too shy and easily embarrassed to flirt with anyone)

[plistommy]

A fic where both Eddie and Billy are fighting over Steve and Steve’s oblivious about these two metalheads wanting to fuck him so badly that they try to sabotage each other ’cause only one of them gets to have Steve and that tight ass…. Right?

[jessamine-rose]

*lovingly tackles Aine*

Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽｀)

Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—

*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3

[driftingballoons]

Hey man good for you

[schnaf]

day 23 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - jungsu's past birthday brrrr ppoppos

[energysynergymatrix]

Ok I bit the bullet and made an Ososan OC and his full name is Len Kanemaru.

He's the so-called perfect guy, pretty boy barista type turned up to 11, who might as well have manifested from thin air, who has genuine fanboys and fangirls, and most of the Matsunos want him fucking dead. He's oblivious to both of these aspects of the public opinion and seems kind of empty headed for the most part. He is also struggling just as badly as them but literally no one would believe him if he told them.

He also wants to kiss the oldest DESPITE the fact that his brothers are so jealous of him for being so perfect. Shenanigans ensue.

If you want a more detailed write up about him read the cut.

OK SO . Len is a guy trying his best to pretend to be an adult despite wanting to be anything but it. Unlike the Matsunos who dont pretend to be an adult and are anything but it, Len is trying to push through adult life while wanting to return to childhood when things were easier.

Sure he has a job as barista, but he's poor with money, spending it like he's still a teenager, struggles to maintain contact with people he’s befriended outside of work, DESPITE thinking people hating him is the end of the world, and surprisingly, still lives with his parents.

The thing is that he's REALLY good at pretending to have it all together. He has quite a few fanboys and fangirls and is often described as a prince. (It’s because of his charmingly good customer service skills that is his only real social experience post highschool.) But, despite being in his mid twenties, hes kind of poorly equipped socially and is unable to pick this up, despite it being clear to literally everyone.

(Like he thinks he’s being bad at pretending to be a well put together adult, and then turns around and can handle rush pretty well understaffed, not make any mistakes, and still keep a pleasant demeanor that his admirers swoon over. Anytime someone does act like a fan trying to get his love it’s met with confusion and just. “Huh.” more than anything. He doesn’t even reject them because he doesn’t realize so many people are in love with him)

This includes quite a few Matsunos who are jealous of him for being so popular (and admittedly kind of cool), find his princely yet oblivious attitude almost annoying, and somewhat creepy because of how much he knows about them from highschool. And those who aren't irritated by him are relatively apathetic towards him.

The only reason theyre so aware of him is the fact that he and Todomatsu worked at the same cafe before the latter quit. It was after he quit that Len properly met the sextuplets, having a chance encounter with the boys sometime after. Todomatsu was already irritated by him, by again, seeing above, but also because he already seemed intimately familiar with Totty during his highschool years.

It's like they had a whole classmate just manifest into being while skipping the "actually go to class together" part.

(They did actually go to school together but literally no one knew he existed during then. Not to their fault though, Len was basically that one vine that's like "I can't I have so much to do tomorrow" *fucks around on the keyboard. Because of that Len ended up being bad with people by the time he graduated and was ushered into the work force by his parents. As a result he can't really keep friends, often times contact dying off on accident. A lot of the time spent working is him TRYING his best to maintain relationships as an adult but it never really works out. Deep down Len wishes he could redo highschool, so he could not only get this skills but also find some memories that he so clearly missed out on. Because he willingly opted out of making those therefore other people don’t remember him. As far as he knows he hasn’t really had a friend since middle school.)

But like after the two and Totty's brothers encountered each other in public a whole bomb got dropped and nothing was the same.

Despite generally not liking him the Matsunos keep him around, mostly due to Totty's insistence saying they can use him (so they cant kill him yet!) but because Len is kind of bad with people in general outside of having a fandom (that, again, came with his customer service skills), and the Matsunos are the Matsunos, this never ever goes well.

Despite this and how much shenanigans the Matsunos end up dragging him into, he considers them friends since its the closest relationship he's maintained outside of his house. On top of that, he almost admires them for being NEETs. He's kind of ashamed of it, because he knows they have to be an adult, but because he's struggling so much as an adult, he wants nothing more than to be like them. He wants to stop being an adult and return to highschool.

It's why he takes to Osomatsu so much, since he seems most open about how shitty he is and how much he doesnt want to grow up. Like weirdly enough, his man-child behavior is what makes Len likes him so much. Sure he also has a big heart and loves his family, and Len can acknowledge Oso’s best aspects, but it’s the worst parts of him that loves.

And that admiration for having his character laid out flat and embracing his childishness despite his age and situation, how he practically will just grow up when he wants to rather than when he has to (unlike Len), makes the perfect man fall for the loser guy.

The more he hangs around the Matsunos the more they encourage him to tap into his evil side, and may end up making him worse, but for now he's Mr Perfect and most of them hate him for that. He doesn't get the message though so he's just kind of hanging around them for now.

Anyways he and Osomatsu are literally I'm Glad You're Evil Too to me . And also look at these sketches of him .

[burinazar]

[note: i know for a fact i'm doing this for the same reason that i fixate on nebulous fandom anxieties at other times: helplessness regarding anxieties about larger geopolitical issues]

feeling in a very weird position right now thinking about the fact theres a nonzero chance that either one of the cosplayers ive become acquainted with or someone in their immediate circle could do brownface in the future and people are gonna come at me like 'hey why are you not calling them out and/or giving them a racial sensitivity seminar and/or personally fistfighting them on the floor of the doujin circle event'

[ohmaggies]

not afraid of oc posting anymore <3 (person who is still afraid of oc posting </3)

[fruitydiaz]

my dad and i used to sing billy joel’s piano man with each other at every family party. like not actually sing it like perform it with each other but it was on every playlist at every party and when it came on we’d stand in the middle of the room and sing all of five minutes and 38 seconds of it together. because my dad’s been the biggest billy joel fan since the dawn of time and i learned the words because it was his favorite song. anyways over the last couple of years i obviously rarely attend any family parties but when i do ive noticed that they still play piano man but he never looks for me to sing it with anymore. he’ll sing it with his cousin or his friend or my 3 year old cousin that obviously doesn’t know the words because she is literally 3 years old. and i know that this is some bizarre kind of punishment because that is who he is as a person so i try not to think about it. of course this is relevant now because on our rsvp for the wedding i (stupid) left a space for song requests and my dad did of course request piano man. and now i have to decide whether or not i want to put it on the playlist.

[retrogradedreaming]

I’ve been getting really into mushroom identification lately and when I tell you mushrooms are THE coolest thing, I am not kidding!! Look at all of them!!

[khihi]

EVIE!! I feel like if this photoshoot just revealed a well kept secret and people are suddenly opening his eyes, meanwhile we've been screaming about how hot Jure is for so long and just ajsbdnxkdnsosns

sorry i'm feeling so insane and i can't form any coherent words atp

"oh he's hot 😳" YEAH!! WE KNOW!!! WE TOLD YOU SO!!!! WELCOME TO ENLIGHTENMENT, GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US, MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME!!!!

yeah obviously he's a cutie pie ray of sunshine kitten of course, bUT HE'S ALSO

WAHSHDJSJSNGEGEBSAJSKSJSHS

[olgipolgi]

my favorite princess 🥰

[risingsunresistance]

twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao

[wundrousarts]

Some theories, thoughts, and answers to questions that are in the works that I need to attempt to write out sometime, but probably won’t until I eventually reread Hollowpox on my eternal reread:

What led Squall to try and revolt? Was it a decision by himself, with others, or was there a third party involved? What is true and what isn’t?

What is the fallout and aftermath of Mog’s actions at Courage Square, and what might her future as a budding Wundersmith in Nevermoor look like?

Christmas Eve: is it a Distraction, is there a Ghostly Hour involved, is it related to the Massacre, and how could it relate to modern Nevermoorian religion and Squall’s exile and Eventide activities?

Maud: does she have a knack or some sort of power, how and when does she use it, what is her dynamic with Squall based on, and why is he so scared of her?

Miscellaneous Silverborn Masterpost additions, on a rolling basis as I (or anyone else!) thinks of things.

[morningstargirl666]

If we can’t have little Klaus just yet, then maybe you could share your favorite line or paragraph you’ve written so far? As long as it’s not super spoilery, of course! No pressure.

I mean, I'm pretty proud of this new exchange between Klaus and Henrik:

Niklaus glanced warily around them, keeping his eyes out for any flashes of wolf-yellow. “Wasn’t Kol supposed to be watching you?”

“He disappeared deeper into the caves with Ingrid - said he had better things to do than entertaining me,” Henrik said, mouth twisting with disgust. “I didn’t stick around to hear them going at it like rabbits.”

Niklaus’ scowl deepened, silently telling himself he really shouldn’t be surprised.

“Remind me to murder our brother the next time I see him.”

Henrik scoffed a laugh. “Like your meetings with Tatia Ulricksdottir in the middle of the night are completely innocent-”

“I haven’t touched her,” he snarled, jerking Henrik forward a little more forcefully than before.

The grin on his younger brother’s face could only be described as downright devilish. Kol’s influence, he was sure. “But you have kissed her.”

They slammed to halt. Niklaus stared at Henrik with wide, surprised eyes. “How do you even know that?”

“Kol said you were smiling like a fool a few days ago. I added that up with the way Elijah kept glaring at your head at dinner and made an educated guess,” he said with a shrug. Then his smile widened, eyes brightening with childlike curiosity that was slightly too innocent to be genuine. “Was she good? At kissing? Kol says most girls are shy, but Tatia doesn’t seem the type.”

Niklaus turned away, yanking Henrik forward again without a word.

“What? She’s already been married once, right, so she knows what the kissing leads to-”

“Gods have mercy,” Niklaus muttered under his breath.

“All I’m saying is to be careful, Nik, you know, responsible-”

“Henrik.”

“Yeah?”

Niklaus leaned down, hissing his next words out through his teeth, right in his brother’s face. “Not. One. More. Word.”

Slowly, Henrik dropped the innocent act, that bright smile melting into a smirk. “About the kissing? Or what the kissing leads to?” Niklaus cuffed him round the ear for his insolence, not that it made a difference. The idiot wouldn’t stop bloody smiling.