#Bro deserves to be the center of attention for once

[plistommy]

A fic where both Eddie and Billy are fighting over Steve and Steve’s oblivious about these two metalheads wanting to fuck him so badly that they try to sabotage each other ’cause only one of them gets to have Steve and that tight ass…. Right?

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Fuck Your Status

Pair: FB!Joe Burrow x Black!Fem Reader

Descr: Self Care Sunday is taking a bit long, so here's a prelude to it that gives you a "basis" on their relationship.

TW: MDNI 18+ | smut, protected sex, p-in-v, jealous and possessive traits, bratty behavior, drinking, self centered!Joe. Joe's POV, next one is more reader. Not entirely proofread.

Babe's Version | Main Masterlist | Self Care Sunday

WC: 1.1k

︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚

You’ve had my attention for months, like a strong obsession. I don’t know what happens to me when you’re around. Your pull isn’t supposed to be this strong. I just can’t stay away, and by the looks of it you can’t either.

Everyone in the room disappears when you walk in, we could be in a packed stadium and it’d still only be you and me, just like right now. 

We’ve been here for less than an hour and the guys are already 2 bottles deep. Ja’Marr carried his celebrations to the center of club with a girl on each arm and another one on his front, he’s clearing having the time of his life. Tee brought a girl back to our section, both indulging on the free drinks being placed on the table.

While I’m sat on the opposite side of the couch nursing my second drink carefully. There’s always eyes on me, no matter where I go or what I’m doing. I should be able to enjoy our party, we did just beat the Chiefs and we’re AFC champs. But there’s too much at stake, then you waltzed in, completely ruining my plans.

Amber brown skin that sparkled in the low lighting, tight kinky curls pulled out of your feline features, glossy red lips plump and pulled up into a smile, and a little v cut black dress that hugged every curve. You looked downright sinful, I took a deep breath as my jeans started to feel tighter. 

“You alright bro?” I looked over at the voice and noticed the slight smirk on his lips as his eyes flickered over in your direction as well. “Oh I didn’t she’d make it, I guess nurses do have off days.”

I chewed on my bottom lip and let out a breath. “You invited her. Why?” 

Tee shrugged with a look that said I knew exactly why. “I mean we are AFC Champs right? Everyone deserves a celebration.” He winked then got up and walked off with his girl.

I scoffed and brought my drink to my lips. When I looked back over to you, your dark siren eyes were already on mine. My hands itched to touch your smooth skin, the way you sat on the barstool made the skirt of your dress disappear. Your legs, neck and breasts on display for everyone, like you weren’t going to end up under me by the end of the night. A smirk grew on your dark cherry red lips and you picked up a drink that matched your pout perfectly. We silently cheers from opposite ends of the club. 

A grimace flexed my face as the dark liquor flowed down my throat. I shake the feeling off and look back over at the bar, but you was gone. Maybe it was for the better, I shouldn’t be seen with you anyway. Then a buzz came from my back pocket, a low chuckle erupted from my throat as I pulled my phone out.

༊*·˚

From: Lioness😈

Miss me 😋

To: Lioness😈

I can’t leave with you

From: Lioness😈

Who said anything about leaving? I just got here🙄

To: Lioness

I thought you had work

From: Lioness😈

I don’t tell you everything

To: Lioness😈

Whatever, where are you

From: Lioness😈

Now you wanna know😏

To: Lioness😈

Ive never seen that dress before

From: Lioness😈

It’s Tee’s fav

joe typing..

From: Lioness😈

Single stall women’s room, behind the wall 3rd door on your left

Threw the rest of my drink back, pushed my beanie low and left the section.

To: Lioness😈

Stay there

read at 11:57 pm

༊*·˚

Turning the corner, there was no one lingering in the hallway, surprisingly. I knocked on the door once and a bronzed hand came out and yanked me inside. Now up close, I could admire your perfectly feline features being beautifully emphasized by your makeup. 

Another smirk graced your glossy lips. “I did not invite you here so you could just stare at me. I already know how fine I look, Higgins beat you to it.” 

I rolled my eyes and stepped forward, crowding you against the sink. Your smirk slowly disappeared as my hands gripped your waist and my lips dipped to your ear. “If I hear his name come out your mouth one more time, I’ll make you choke on it.” 

I felt your heart patter against my chest and a shiver crawl up your spine. “Not so talkative now are you? Now who’d you wear this dress for?” 

“No one- myself.” 

“Yea I don't think so.” I pulled back and roughly turned you around, facing the mirror. I slid my hands down to your hips and shoved your ass against my crotch. 

“Joey!” You yelled in a whisper, glaring at my reflection. 

I smirked while palming your cheeks, “just tell me the truth, did you wear this-

My smirk dropped and eyes darkened, you looked into the mirror with those damn siren eyes again. Couldn't be innocent even if you tried, fucking minx.

I shoved the dress up and groaned when your bare ass was revealed. “Where are your damn panties?”

You leaned over to your purse on the floor and pulled out a black lace thong, waving it in the air. “You mean these? I got tired of them.”

Then flung them towards me, catching them I resist the urge to bring the lace to my nose and stuff them in my back pocket.

“You’re just asking to be punished aren’t you? You must really want someone to find us in here. Wanna get caught fucking Cincinnati's best quarterback?” 

You roll your eyes, lifting your arms around the sink. “I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about your damn status.” 

I chuckle shoving you back down and tugging at my zipper. “Then why are you here?”

“So I could get fucked in the bathroom of a club by Cincinnati’s nerdiest white boy.” Locking eyes with you in the mirror, a small warmth burns in my chest.

“That’s your real status.”

“Well you’re right about one thing.” A low groan is released as my cock’s freed from its cage. Your hand comes up and holds a condom out to me. I rip the wrapper with my teeth and roll it on.

“I’m always right.” You say rolling your eyes, I return the gesture and smack your ass. “Ow!”

I rub the tender meat, massaging the fatty muscle then kick your legs open. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“Make me.”

The little angry look on your face almost make me laugh, like you don’t need me to fix your attitude and get you to actually calm down for once.

“Gladly.” I grin swiping my finger over your heat finding your essence just dripping down your thighs. ‘It’s been a week, but you’ll be fine,’ I think as a line myself up.

“Wait- fuck!”

♡.︶︶︶︶.♡

likes, comments and reblogs are welcomed and treasured, as always♥︎

[crazylittlejester]

RAHH your wars smile post has given me so many thoughts

first off it’s sad that the fact that wars is at his most genuine the time he really smiles just because he feels happy is when he is literally alone and by himself.

second off the FIC THIS COULD MAKE DONT GIVE ME IDEAS BRO like wars thinking he’s alone when they’re all at the ranch and wind and twi are having fun outside, legend and Hyrule and wild are causing mischief, sky’s taking a well deserved nap, fours reading by a tree, and time gets to spend TIME (pun haha I hate myself grr) with his wife. And wars is just, happy genuinely because everything’s fine he’s on the porch alone in a rocking chair, the most relaxed and happy he’s ever been in forever and they’re just this goofy little grin on his face because my man is happy LET HIM GRIN. and if time saw it from the corner of his eye out the window then that’s his business. and yes eventually legend and twi have to drag him in cus he took a snooze but shhh they’re all happy

okay first of all i love absolutely everything you’ve just said, but wanna add somethin’ cos I ran out of the ability to add more pictures to that post so the yap was cut a bit short, but you reminded me of another thing I’d meant to say alkhgfjhfdg SO I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND THE YAP:

Yes for the most part, Warriors’s real smile is almost a ‘hidden’ thing, it only comes out in full when he’s alone or no one’s looking. HOWEVER: There are a few instances where his little crooked smile is a bit more clear, even when he’s still talking with the others (not fully 100% his real smile, but you can see the one same side of his mouth a tad higher than his fake straight smile). And it’s always moments where he just seems a little bit more relaxed. Specially in ‘Regroup’ when he and Hyrule have just come back and Legend has his bright pink hair and Wars is teasing both him and Sky. When he first comes in and he’s being a bit over the top his smile is clearly more even and straight, even when he’s teasing the others a bit

@/linkeduniverse

but the thing i find interesting about this is he’s standing up talking to a group of people sitting down. He’s the center of attention, he’s aware of it, they’re all looking at him and he knows it. He’s probably a lot more focused on how the others are looking at and perceiving him, they’re LITERALLY physically looking up at him. He’s taller than them because he’s the one standing. On the page AFTER this one, however, once he’s sat down and towards the end of his conversation (including the entire page so people can see how everyone else is physically existing in the space):

now here he seems a little bit more relaxed, and while in the first part of the page the way he’s acting and speaking still comes off as performative, that last panel of him on the bottom seems a little bit less of an act. He doesn’t come off quite as (for lack of a better description) cocky, he seems a little more genuine and down to earth and chill in the way he teases Sky right there, and his smile is a little more crooked than it usually is when he’s joking around with the others. He just went on this whole thing about how he and Hyrule totally had it handled and the two of them were very badass, but he’s poking fun of Sky in an extremely lighthearted way and now that he’s reaching the end of what he has to say he seems… Not like he’s running out of ENERGY, but like he’s just taking the dramatics down and acting just a bit more like himself

Also: He’s no longer standing above them and being intentionally larger than life. He’s still acting a bit, he almost always is, but he seems much more relaxed, and he’s actually put himself in a position where he’s physically beneath the others with the only other person sitting on the ground is Legend. And as someone who is a certified YAPPER, I know when I have a yap coming, I stand up and I say my shit but when I’m getting to the end of the yap I sit down and take a chance to be quiet. And this might just be me, but that does seem like what Warriors is doing here. He’s done his bit, he got his yap in, but he’s done now and probably tired after battle and walking all over the place, and he’s bringing himself AND his energy down to get ready to eat and calm down for the night

The others may not have really seen his REAL smile (or if they did Wars has no idea because he wasn’t aware he was being watched), but they’ve certainly caught glimpses of it in moments where Wars is able to relax just a little more. And I feel like maybe they’re even able to recognize that. Maybe it makes them feel a little bit sad when they realize that Wars’s flashy obnoxious grin isn’t a ‘real’ one at all, because I’m sure to an extent he probably does feel a bit happy when he’s laughing and joking around with the others but that straight, even smile is a controlled thing and not a true expression of his happiness

Now this may be completely a headcanon of mine: But I do feel like Warriors is a person who greatly values his physical space. He likes being alone (not being lonely), he likes getting to take time by himself to just breathe and appreciate what’s around him, and he doesn’t have to deal with the crushing pressure of being the person everyone thinks he is. He can smile at things and not worry about the fact his real smile isn’t perfect because no one’s watching him. He can allow himself to maybe actually be happy for a second when he’s alone because he can really just relax

IF YOU WRITE THAT FIC AND SHARE IT ANYWHERE IM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BEGGING YOU TO SEND ME A LINK 🥺 I love the idea of him just falling asleep on the porch in a rocking chair OUGH. IM OBSESSED WITH IT.

anyways sorry for yappin, i turn into an unskippable cutscene when people mention Wars

[beauty-and-passion]

CCCC Vol.1 - Calamity: introducing the chaos

Hello, everyone.

I made my offer, you accepted. And so, here I am, to talk about Chonny’s Charming Chaos Compendium, Vol. 1.

It will be quite a long ride, so let’s not waste more time and let’s start with…

_______________________________

Obligatory premise

I am not an expert on Chonny Jash, Tally Hall's albums, or any other song besides CCCC. All I know about Chonny is this album, the Q&A cj-anon told me about (thank you, bro! You can read it HERE) and that Mr. Jash has some fine curly hair - and, as a possessor of curly hair myself, I find him very stylish.

So my analysis won't be filtered through the lenses of a fan who knows everything about him. This is the perspective of someone outside the CCCC fandom, who focuses mostly on the album, the songs and all the small details an "outsider" like me might find interesting.

That means two things:

I might say things that are already well-known in the fandom. In that case, sorry for the repetition, I hoped to say something new. But also, hey, that means the album's message was so clear, even an outsider could get it.

I might say things that are wrong/have been denied by Chonny Jash himself. It's unlikely, considering that the man welcomed every interpretation and said it's up to us to decide/read the story as we want, but still, it might happen. In that case, please let me know through messages or reblogs, so I can add the correct information and make my analysis more complete.

One last thing, for all the people who have never heard of this album: the themes are mostly centered around tragedy, mental dissonance and suicide, so they’re not the funniest topics to talk about. Still, If they do not trigger you, try and give this album a chance: it'll be worth your time. I even wrote a whole post to explain why.

_______________________________

My sources

The whole album on YouTube (also, subscribe to Chonny Jash's channel and stream CCCC too, because it deserves it)

This blog that gives a wonderful insight into the songs

The great people on Genius.com always pay a lot of attention to every word of the songs

And here's the Q&A once again, because it always comes in handy

_______________________________

Why a “Charming Chaos Compendium”?

I know Chonny wanted to mimic the "Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum" album title, so instead of MMMM, we have CCCC. But also, why "Charming Chaos' Compendium" specifically? Why not "Confused Catastrophic Compilation" or something else?

Maybe it’s just because “Charming Chaos Compendium” sounds better. But if we consider the whole album, I think these words are simply the best-fitting ones to talk about.

* Chaos: That’s a chaotic album indeed: we have dark thoughts, fears, references to death. Heck, the longest, central section is called “Cacophony”, which shows even better the concept of chaos.

* Charming: Chonny said in the Q&A:

"I’ve been somewhat obsessed with the idea of duality and mental dissonance, not just from an artistic standpoint but from a social/moral perspective. The idea that the same brain can produce completely separate and juxtaposed conclusions from a single input is strange, and something I’ve noticed fairly frequently throughout my currently short life. CCCC is a manifestation of those dissonances from an extremely personal and biased perspective, in song form."

These concepts might be dark, but there’s also a charming component of them - if we consider the adjective “charming” with the meaning of “fascinating”. The “duality” of our brain is one of the mysteries of humankind’s nature that we still can’t fully grasp - a lot of people play with it, like Chonny does here. It’s fascinating to see how he does it and what his interpretation is.

* Compendium: a compendium is a "collection of concise but detailed information about a particular subject" and what's more concise and detailed than a two/three minute song that should explain the situation, show the characters and explore their feelings?

Also, it’s a word of Latin origin - and not the last one, considering Chonny will use three more words with Latin origin to title the three acts of his album (Calamity, Cacophony, Concord).

_______________________________

Time Machine Reprise: start of a new loop

What a peculiar choice for an opening song. What kind of album starts with a reprise?

Well, maybe one that is a time loop. And Chonny made it clear two things about it:

he’s stuck inside it because of the constant clash between Heart and Mind

maybe he will get out of said loop by "writing different songs"

Keep both of them in your mind, when we will reach the last songs of Concord.

Also, do not forget why this is the Calamity act: as the name suggests, a calamity is a “disastrous event that leads to tragic, dramatic consequences” - in this case, the split of Chonny’s mind into three parts.

But what is this event? What happened that was so “disastrous” to lead to such a drastic split? And how are the two things connected?

_______________________________

Dream: Soul's introduction

It’s very telling that the first character who appears right after Chonny’s introduction is Soul. And it’s even more interesting, if we remember what Chonny said about Soul in the Q&A:

"The Soul is slightly separated — fittingly — in that I didn’t know exactly what to call the character when I was first bringing them to fruition. ‘Body’ was the original name if I remember correctly, but it felt kind of wrong, as I wanted the character to be a little less concrete/tangible. The third character was always meant to be a sort of husk/shell/veneer, and so it took me a while to settle on ‘Soul’."

So, Soul:

is slightly different/separated from Heart and Mind

was supposed to be the Body

is a sort of husk/shell/veneer

And if we also consider that:

Soul’s introduction comes right after Chonny’s

Soul often refers to Chonny/Whole by using the words “me/myself” (Mucka Blucka, The Soul Eclectic, The Bidding), while Heart and Mind talk about Whole as “their vessel”

I think we can safely assume that Soul is closer to Chonny, compared to the other two sides. And we have a confirmation of that, considering Soul’s nature: since he’s a husk/shell, Soul “contains” Chonny, while Heart and Mind are more like “attributes/aspects” of Chonny.

In addition to that, Dream adds other information about this character:

*Soul is aware of the loop: Soul’s reaction to the start of a new cycle is panic, then tiredness. "I don't know if I can go another round of cacophony", he says and that alone proves he knows what happened and he knows what will happen, because he already experienced all of it.

This point is also fundamental for the worldbuilding, because it implies that Chonny and his sides have the same amount of information and the same level of awareness. Unlike works like Sanders Sides in which the parts hide information from their whole, CCCC does not have this delay. All Chonny knows, his sides know as well.

*Soul is tired of Heart and Mind: "My sympathy's draining me dry" implies that there was a time (maybe in previous loops) in which he was more sympathetic towards them. But after reliving the loop who knows how many times, he’s growing tired of their constant bickering.

*Soul is more powerful than Heart and Mind: this is only the first time he implies they need to “take him over”, but neither of them is strong enough to “control him”.

*Soul is moved by the will to live: for the entire album, Soul has one goal and one goal only. To reunite. To come back into one. And even if he gets tired of Heart and Mind, even if he ponders suicide, to finally get some peace, in the end it’s hope that prevails. Right when it seems the dark thoughts are taking over, Soul finds the strength to try again, one more time. And maybe "when we become whole, it'll hold".

All of this is not motivated by religion or faith in a superior being, but by pure, simple, will to live. Life is short, so it’s better to give it a try anyway, rather than not try at all and regret it.

But that’s not all. This song also introduces names here, so let’s talk a bit about them too:

Apollo - god of the sun, but also of arts, oracles, and knowledge. Wikipedia also adds:

His oracles were often consulted for guidance in various matters. He was in general seen as the god who affords help and wards off evil. 

and

Apollo also encouraged the founding of new towns and the establishment of civil constitutions, is associated with dominion over colonists, and was the giver of laws.

Wow, isn’t that very fitting for Mind? He also wants to become the "giver of laws" and the one who "wards off the evil” aka Heart (The Mind Electric).

Artemis - sister of Apollo, associated with the moon, goddess of nature and animals and:

(she) punishes harshly those who cross her. Artemis' wrath is proverbial, and represents the hostility of wild nature to humans

So Heart isn’t associated with love and kindness as anyone would expect, but with wilderness and instincts.

And wow, isn’t this fitting as well? Heart himself will tell he’s not just the love, but also “the hate” and “the emotional side”. Of course he’s wild and impulsive. And yes, there’s also the Juno incident which is another great proof.

Atlas - a Titan condemned to hold up the sky for eternity. Basically Soul’s job: to keep everything together, while the other two fuckers slowly make their vessel crumble. And he does it in all the time loops. Poor Soul, he definitely needs a vacation.

Harmonia - goddess of harmony and concord. That should represent the union of these three characters into Whole/Chonny. And I love that Wikipedia specifically used the word "concord" - the same Chonny chose for his third act. He was saying from the start that this is the goal to reach.

And they will, but only by going through a long, long round of Cacophony.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @mudpuddlenl @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @whatishappeningrightnow@effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling @payte @hypnossanders​  @idontreallyknow24​  @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical @patton-cake​  @hereissananxiousmess​  @purplebronzeandblue​  @cynicalandsarcastic​ ​@lost-in-thought-20 @andtheyreonfire​ 

@riseofthewerewolf​ @rosesandlove44​​  @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan​ @arya-skywalker  @csi-baker-street-babes @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @reesiereads @dracayd-universe​ @starlightnyx​ @stubbornness-and-spite​ @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing

@thatoneloudowl @grayson-22 @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella  @boopypastaissalty @nevenastark @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside @coldbookworm @snixxxsmythe @charmingcritter  @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3 @the3rddenialist

[linskywords]

(Please excuse the following ramblings. I blame the red wine and my over-enthusiastic anticipation for the sequel)

So Jack's self loathing of his sub designation was because of family attitudes (*cough* his dad) but what if Trevor's is the product of the hockey culture itself?

Like what if Trevor was playing in leagues above his age ever since he could remember. So of course he's subjected to seeing the older kids talk shit about subs in the locker room.

Just picturing baby Trevor watching the other kids gang up on a sub on the ice and call them terrible names.

And that just sticks and permeates in his mind. Sure, maybe his family is more supportive and he knows deep down it doesn't matter to them whether he's a dom or a sub.

But he just can't bring himself to tell anyone because he thinks it's some sort of shameful admission of not being good enough.

And maybe that's why he idolizes Quinn to such a level (real talk Trevor and Quinn's actual relationship is so funny to me. Quinn is just perpetually exhausted and Trevor is an overexcited puppy)

Like maybe one summer while Trevor is staying at the Hughes' lake house, he either catches Quinn subbing or Quinn has a heart to heart with him. And Trevor admires Quinn so much for being so sure of himself, even if he doesn't tell everyone in the world.

And sure, Trevor wishes that could be him. But he's stuck in a world of his own doing.

And he bro talks all of his totally real and definitely not made up domming stories with Jamie because he has a giant crush on him from moment one and will spit exaggerated lies for hours as they chill together on their rooftop because he will do anything to spend time with him.

And Jamie would accept Trevor no matter how he identifies. Jamie just shares dom stories with Trevor because, well, Trevor just gives off this persona of an almost stereotypical dom, so Jamie just assumes.

Like one day when they're chilling on the roof of their shared house, Jamie brings up how he thinks subs should have more rights, subs deserve to play in the league, etc. And Trevor gets so close to just blurting out his no good horrible secret until they're rudely interrupted by Jack calling him.

And maybe Jack offers to lend a hand (in the form of Nico) and (after Trevor's token panic about being found out) he agrees because if there is even a chance he can be as comfortable as Quinn, maybe he can tell Jamie.

So it turns into almost a training regiment (at Nico's request to frame it like training to not have Trevor freak out as much)

Trevor first starts coming over and just watching Nico and Jack scene. And at first he's fidgeting and wants to leave. But the second Jack goes down and goes all hazy eyed, Trevor is just hit with this pang of longing. Like he wants to experience that, even if it's just once.

And they work up from there. Trevor and Jack do small little things, like having Trevor be the little spoon, hand feeding etc. (Jack is ok with it because Nico is still domming but he has just become an extension of Nico, which is so hot in Jack's mind)

Eventually they work up to a scene. And Trevor wants nothing more than being held and loves soft scenes. He loves being taken apart while Nico whispers sweet nothings in his ear and Jack holds his ankles to ground him while Trevor cries. His favorite part is aftercare. He loves being the center of attention and falling asleep being the middle spoon.

....

Now I have no idea where it goes from there. Quite frankly, I'm out of wine and plus you are 100000x better of a writer than I am. I would love to know your thoughts (esp on Trevor's characterization)

Either way, I can't wait for the sequel and know it will be AMAZING! <3

Ahahaha this is amazing!! Your Trevor is so much less bitter and deluded than the one in my head. 😅 In my head, Trevor is super not okay with seeing Jack and Nico together because, like...what Jack is letting Nico do is wrong, right? If it's not wrong, why would Trevor have been depriving himself of this thing that he (er, everyone) wants so badly for so many years?

And, like, sure, he and Jamie can share scening stories, but everyone understands that that's part of the performance. That's what they need to do, to prove to each other that they're doing the thing they're supposed to. It's really impressive that Jamie doesn't slip up very often. Trevor's gotta learn from his example, because he has a sinking feeling he's worse at this than the other guys are, and he's got to get it together before he messes up for real.

[carmenized-onions]

these are my thoughts

-the amish story?? we're starting with the amish story???? so you want me to bawl my fuckin eyes out, is that? i hate you onion.

-its been 0ERR minutes. damn right. feel the burn carmen berzatto, feel it!!!

-i actually had to switch tabs and play the countries of the world quiz cuz ohhhh my god carmy talking to chef david is never an easy pill to swallow

-mikey called me? i have been officially adopted into the family? im all warm inside. but as a middle child, i am offended. deeply. we also care for people and have to like keep the peace! also ouch, id feel so guilty as a baby getting the big bro attention when the big bro's actually baby is being left on read.

-oh shit oh shit we're back ahhhhhhhh please chef david/carmy needs multiple warnings. also so real so real so real receiving praise from someone who always criticized you is not as sweet as you thought it would be. actually somewhat repulsive.

-i mean,,,, great introspection there carm, but maybe like 0ERR minutes too late buddy

-"The only fuckin’ good thing in my life" ....okay maybe i change my vote and i support tony folding. im folding.

-“Hey asshole—” Richie stops, when he sees David. “Ah. You’re needed, Chef Carmen.” dont back down richie dont back down call him out in front of the stupid exec he put over everyone else. also did you notice in season three no one said 'cousin' once? not onceeeeee. carm deserved it, but damn did it hurt. please heal me onion

-“Want your coffee?” He corrects, like stroking your ego will make you fold. It does. ehehehehehe yeah yeah ill do itt

-fuck me this is dark.

-“Cousin get my fucking bag, now!” she called him cousin.

-ummmm can this be an x richie jerimovich now actually?

-carmen is definitely the joke. i know im tony, but id be on my hands knees for her too.

-onion. “And no one wants you to acknowledge that you’re the guy— Like you can take the compliment, but you can never say ‘I know, I’m doing it on purpose.’” how have you managed to capture the human experience of being the dependable people pleaser into words and such good words????? i could only wish to be as good at writing as you are. profession well chosen.

-'You laugh, and it quickly turns into a groan as you try to come up with something. “I uh… Oh! I fuckin’ hate the nickname ‘Jack’, that’s something.” “Oh?” He leans forward, teasingly intrigued— You’ve thrown him a bone, because you’re the guy, too. He’s able to focus on this in lieu of himself.' ahahahah i knew this was coming, if she liked jack it would've stayed jack but noooo its chip! i been waiting for this one, turn it up! also yes so 'the guy' of her, turning the convo to you only to help out the other guy cuz the guy never wants to be the center of attention unless its actively helping someone out ugh i love you onion

-i think im gonna try to minimize the comments, its like ive got one after every sentence, jeez cool it dude.

-sydmikey crossover kind of , wow. its hitting me. i wonder what they wouldve been like together.

-'and neither of you know this is a lie, yet.' actually fuck you onion.

-shit forgot the richie carmy fight was happening right out the window???????????????????????????

-lol. bear in the freezer 1.0

-you're making me miss mikey even tho im reading mikey but damn i miss my bestie and he should be enjoying the bear with us rn (even tho the bear is shit rn 0ERR but like if it wasnt)

-“If that’s what getting a star takes, I don’t want it.” oh fuck. us squidink truthers out here winning.

-'Richie’s a good dad. You will never find a good time to tell him this.' i know what you're referencing and i despise you for it. tony will tell him.

-'“Yeah, well you need to read Mark Wolynn’s ‘It Didn’t Start With You.’” Richie’s got lists of books now, instead of zingers. They somehow hit harder.' they hit very hard my man, very hard. #teamfuckeveryonebutrichie

read the rest so quick that i felt like i lived it. i hate you. you write so well. my best friend died dude ,you gave me a best friend who knew me and saw me and you killed him???

those are my thoughts. ive been reading this on an off since 10am, it is now almost 5pm. i was meant to be studying. truly the best form of procrastination is reading your work. i hope my review, tho lacking, it welcomed.

-jude the dude <3

So fun fact before we get into this, I am currently at my parents house packing all of my shit because I move into my apartment next thursday!! Thank y’all for being patient w/ me. I would fucking love to get the next chapter out tommorow (and answer all my asks) but we’ll see. I really need to prioritize packing but I,,,,, don’t want to. 

So now as my form of break I’m answering asks between boxes LMAO. SO ANYWAYS LETS FUCKING YAP FOR A WHILE!!~

(also please continue to send in essays, I've got quite the backlog if you're worried I didn't get it!! I probably maybe did!! Just busy fucking couple weeks)

I was so excited to do “what are you amish” as an opener, the doc was literally named ‘amish’ in google docs. I knew it was gonna shoot everyone dead on impact. Speaking of doc names, you ever wonder what the docs of these chapters are named?

(mushy potato is still chapter 13 I just had edited it a lot and made a new guy) I’m a little unhinged. 

Anyways FEEL THAT BURN CARMY BABY!! This was such a distressing chapter. I think it only adds to the stress to have those really sweet (mostly) moments with Mikey and then go into actually on the fucking brink with Carmen. 

I APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY MIDDLE SIBLINGS!! I think we babies and middle kids should team up tbh to beat Older Sibling’s ass. Middle/Babies are 100% also taking weight on our shoulders and I feel like this is never appreciated, so I wanted to have Tony be a baby, cause it goes against that type of a Baby Sib never being the dependable one. 

I love my middle brother dearly though. I think I see trio siblings fall into the categories of

Oldest - On a hierarchy level, emotionally responsible for everyone. 

Middle - Often financially/emotionally responsible, keeps family connected.

Baby - On a personal level responsible for emotions! One-on-One dynamics, yknow?

At least, that’s where my family and coincidentally the Berzattos seem to fall. I have to stop yapping about this let’s MOVE ONNN

SOOO REAL to get praise and not feel good. It’s so wild. It’s such a wild experience to get the praise you always wanted from someone and then realize immediately oh what the fuck i don’t give a fuck what you think and quite frankly i should’ve never been trying to impress you?? It’s such a weird human experience. Can a psychology major explain this to me. 

0ERR MINUTES TOO LATE LMAOOOO— But yeah, from what I noticed, some seemed to fold after seeing how fucked the rest of Carmen’s Friday went. I feel like it also completely changes the feeling of Something to Do. Should I do a poll again? Actually no I wanna do a different poll hold on…

RICHIE! NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT? NEVER GIVE UP!!! I did notice the lack of cousin in S3, which completely made sense and hurt deeply, however I live in a world where I wanted everyone to at least a little bit understand each other. 

-ummmm can this be an x richie jerimovich now actually?

This is the poll I wanna do. Because I’ve seen a lot of RiChip or SquidInk truthers coming to the light. What the fuck would Mikey’s ship name be actually? Mikchip? McRib. What? 

You had me blusshinn with quoting the guy scene!! Thank you for saying so. I was fucking tweaking like ‘is anyone going to understand what the fuck i mean when i’m saying this or do i just need to go to therapy’. Turns out we all do. So. That’s good. THANK YOU!! I 

WAITTIN FOR THIS ONE!! CHIP ORIGINS!! I was considering having the Chip origin be another scene that would essentially be ‘off screen’ but it just felt so apt to do here. I actually had an entire other conversation planned for Mikey/Chip to have here but it just didn’t suit them. I’m so glad I went with this. And aufgh, my heart… It was always so fucking sad for me while writing this and switching back and forth between scenes and being like “GOD I DON’T WANNA GO BACK TO CARMEN/MIKEY ERA” they were both very difficult to write for different reasons. But going back to Carmen was always tough cause it was like oh yeah. Mikey’s dead by this one. And he’s not suddenly gonna come out and give someone a painful back massage. This SUCKS!!

I cooked with neither of you know this is a lie, yet. Everyone knows I caramelized the shit out of that one. 

More people need to fight in front of the restaurant. I want those bitches on STAGE. It’s so much more fun when it’s public and weird. 

Now are we a squidink truther or richip gang affiliate we have to choose one jude or are we doing a polycule because i dont know if that’s possible

LISTEN BE HONEST WHEN IS THERE A NORMAL TIME TO GO UP TO YOUR FRIEND AND BE LIKE “hey i think you’re a great father” WHAT? WHAT? I’D start fucking tweaking (crying in public), personally.

All the book reccs were brought to you by my family doctor prescribing them to me. I literally have them on a sticky note next to me. Shout out Dr V! Love you baby!! #teamfuckeveryonebutrichieanddrV

The last scene was very much so my full deep dive into time distorted grief poetry, which I fucking loved doing so thank you to everyone who enjoyed it (you!!). Bro, getting to the end was so hard because I also fell in love with best friend Mikey writing it and I was like man,,,, does he have to die though,,, can we like,,, make him into a marvel superhero or something and pivot genres?? I hate this,,, So listen Mr Storer killed him I just poured a fuck ton of salt in the wound. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEW, ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO SEND IN MORE THOUGHTS I LOVE TO GET THEM IT’S NEVER LACKING!!! Back to packing I go. I think I’ll tackle the desk next? Wish me luck brothers.

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #12: act 6 p3

this is so funny to me im giggling in call and my friends are asking but im not brave enough to say it

john is fighting jack?? OKAYYYY WIN THIS SHIT THEN

HI ROSE OMG HI ROSE . it sucks how they cant like communicate with each other at all during the three years. like you guys dont have multi dimensional service? get the iphone plan

RAHHHHH

bro shut up LOLLLLLL

what the fuck is this . WHY ARE THEY BEING SO MEAN TO EACH OTHER GUYS PLEASE YOU HAVE TO GET ALONG

TRUE we love a dumb motherfucker

due to speculation???

johntav

john looks so goofy here. also drunk rose was silly but also a bit sad

holy shit this is a lotta trolls

stop pretending. we all know you want attention stop trying to deny it. AND ANOTHER THING. the stuff that is going on with caliborn? WRDGAF. the meenah intermissions were fun though. some funny dialogue in there. i liked them :) . unfortunately it just made me wanna get back to what the beta kids and trolls are doing... even though i see them every so often i feel like i miss them. like i used to see them all the time! and now... i see them once a year....

yeah you really screwed the pooch on that one lil bro

okay this dialogue is actually painful to read BUT it is interesting how a common theme of the alpha kid session is just. Waiting . they have to wait for the beta kids to come to actually make their session winnable and it keeps telling us that . so theyre just sitting around stewing in their juices. also cool that theyre called nobles instead of heroes and their planets each have a noble gas in the title

this doesnt really make sense over text BUT i see what is happening and. yes jake is the worst. jake you suck we all hate you sorry girl maybe stop being flop city

yeah okay jane is actually based right now. i cant remember why i stopped liking her. in this conversation jake is ragging on dirk for being too self indulgent and having zero self awareness while talking to jane about his issues. jane is literally trying to plan her own birthday party . jake you are being so fucking stupid and rude and honestly a pos rn bro. get OVER yourself

cool panel.... a bit scary though! man i love roxy. calliope is good too

holy shit i did not know that your dreamself has to be alive for you to ascend to god tier on your quest bed. that is interesting.

YOOOO HI ROSE. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED WHILE YOU WERE GONE. and by gone i mean not the center of the story i guess? but either way

bro is like are you serious right now. is this really happening. also hey equius . long time no see. i guess

OH HELL YEAH BEST CHARACTER JUST INTRODUCED BTW

ahahahahaha oh man this guy is a riot. also look at dirk this is huge for the dirk profile picture community which could be me soon

"it seems i demand milk" NEED TO START SAYING THIS ABOUT THINGS

oh man i really hate this part. i hope it isnt too long i dont remember if its really drawn out or short

he is about to die

he deserved this

gahhhhhhhhh its too much PLEASE let this end soon

this shit is IMPOSSIBLE TO READ

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO fefeta :( best character you will be missed on this grand adventure. but alas we will have to carry on without you. how will we cope? how will we survive?

i think you are giving him too much credit there . at this point he definitely IS an asshole

okay well trickster mode is over and things are about to get even worse but i do appreciate the kids talking out their problems albeit in a very non direct way to where they arent actually really solving anything BUT they are at least talking now!! so thats good!! next part things take a turn for the worse somehow see you then

[isildheir]

My healing with my trauma is to pull up screenshots, realize I was being gaslit and villainized in real time, and then laugh because my abuser and their friend's deep state of denial is HILARIOUS.

I finally learned how to take long screenshots. I redacted names so the people responsible are kept censored--not that I particularly care about protecting them. Cuz I don't. And I don't think they deserve the barest of human respect/decency either, but because I have no energy to deal with them or their hit squad coming to threaten me because I even said one letter off their name, censoring it is.

1. Anyway, I'm showing screencaps of when I finally broke things off, nasty as it was, with my abuser. Imgur link cuz long.

Like, several days long of this nonsense.

And then to get this message from their friend is hilarious. Buddy, no one wanted to see you two anymore. We realized your has a control problem and guilted us for their deleting our server two times, then had problems with them blaming us and saying we led them to delete it. Dude, accept FULL accountability. Your friend has a issue where they think everything is 50/50 or plainly skewed to favor them. It isn't.

When people are upset, they remove themselves, not drag everyobe else into their problems and reaxt onto them. They make insecurities and problems legitimately everyone else's.

But then again, you excused their behavior, always have, and blamed us, too. So, when do you just realize you're the world's biggest enabler?

Hope their dick fits your mouth real well.

2. Also, I'm showing this again where my abuser always went 'you called me worse things so I don't know why you get mad when I get upset. I suffered worse from you.' After they literally called me abusive and a baby and accused me of manipulating people into feeling sorry for me by 'acting all sad' when I was genuinely in DISTRESS and constant tears with them. Imgur link. Bro, the copium is insane. INSANE. And this is them saying this when I said I wanted to break up and didn't love them anymore, but was talked into--you guessed it!--'watering' our love! So, that really makes you think why they were confused at all when I finally burned the bridge ONCE AND FOR ALL in the 1st imgur link. Also, I said 'I hate you.' Once. And I said it after you berated me for hours. You came at my neck when I asked to call after you got kicked out. You think that's the same? What? I have, like, 32950250230205032502 screenshots of 532959205023 different fights that prove you prodded me for HOURS at a time, got me to say I'm leaving, then flipped the script and became the victim, saying, omg, I was just sharing how I felt. Why would you threaten to break up with me? I feel I can never share. I feel unsafe with you. Don't even front. I hope you never feel safe again. Know I am out there and wishing for your swift send off to hell at every waking moment. You literally back someone into a corner until they bite and go....what? I was...being so polite and reasonable. YOU'RE the nutjob that lost their shit and flipped out on everyone for not making you the main character. You deleted our server. Twice. You said no one was using it anyway when PEOPLE WERE LITERALLY USING IT THE NIGHT BEFORE. You meant to say 'they weren't using it for YOU so therefore they can LOSE that server.' Just say that. Just admit you have a main character problem. Just admit you need attention 24/7. Just admit it. (I have screenshots where you flipped out about me 'prioritizing' your friend in roleplay and you degrading the shit out of Isa, my friend, for...hanging out with her, so, hey, I have all the proof I need to know you need to be the center of attention. :]) You kicked me from said server beforehand and LITERALLY HAD A CALL WITH MY FRIENDS IN THAT SERVER ABOUT ME BEING SELFISH. You said that. Not them. THEN you called me personally and said that our friends all said that I was selfish while you defended me. YOU. DID. THAT. YOU. Victimized yourself. YOU twisted the narrative. YOU did that. My friends can confirm that conversation went the OTHER WAY AROUND.

My spite is at 100%. I hope my abuser and their friend choke. It's not even funny how badly I want some terrible tragedy to befall you. I PRAY for it. I can't believe the level of BULLSHIT and PAIN I endured with these fuckin piles of shit.

I have, like, absolute fuckin gigabytes of screenshots. I am NOT being gaslit anymore. My abuser would ALWAYS react and guilt trip me or FLIP out on me and then get all 'i love you!' after I said I want to leave. This may surprise you, fucker, but I wanted to leave you GENUINELY each time. We had MULTIPLE conversations where I explained why. They weren't THREATS. Your ego just COULDN'T accept it, and that's why each time you're all 'omg I'm so confused...'. I know you think no one could ever want to leave you, and only want to abuse you, but I promise you, you aren't anywhere near as great as you think you are. You aren't even good. You aren't even acceptable. You're just shit.

Insane. Fuck you. Look at all I can say with TWO RIDICULOUS CONVERSATIONS. I had SO MUCH building up to this final breakup, and I got the proof. I have SUCH essays of proof.

Btw, baby, I did say I hate you /RIGHT NOW/ after you literally lost your shit at my asking you to stop saying something. And that's AFTER knowing I tried to break up with you countless times before BECAUSE OF HOW YOU SPEAK TO ME. I said how you spoke to me COUNTLESS TIMES did not sit well with me and gave examples on HOW TO FIX IT. You NEVER did.

Never said I hate you till the end of time for all time forever xo.

Don't try to tell me what I did and didn't say either. Bitch.

I genuinely find it so hilarious you'll accuse me of setting you up to fail when you always treated me like shit despite knowing I wanted to break up multiple times BECAUSE of behaviors you never stopped. Like, what did you think was gonna happen after you gaslit me for the 90th time. I'd stay with you? Be nice and love you? Die.

[notmuchtoconceal]

whenever i'm talking to left-of-center softboys who tend to be non-confrontational, they usually default to assuming i'm one of those bootstrapper types, cause i'm so intense, so masc and so ravishingly sexual, i'm more or less completely oblivious to how much you want me, cause -- unlike you -- i only get to stare at myself when i pass a mirror, otherwise i'm looking at you, considering you, or maybe considering something else? is that weird? that i notice you and don't constantly flaunt it, cause i'm not trying to get your attention? is the fact that i notice ur trying to get my attention what makes me not wanna notice u? why am i noticing the attempt, and not being moved by the effect? why do you think i would be as into you, as you are into me? do you think i find you as hot as you find me? how much of you finding me hot is you using me because, on some level, you'd rather be me, and what you want is me to be gone so you can have some alone time with my body? i can jack off to myself without you, you know. what are you bringing to the table? honestly, bro. if you can't even pretend to respect who I am long enough to ingratiate yourself with me, why do you think you deserve my hot sweaty cock up your tight lil hole? i'm still in this fucking body. you haven't displaced it yet. you're not gonna displace it. i fuckin own you now. you fuckin love being owned by me. you think it's flattering that you want me for what i have? cause i wanna be around someone who has so little, all they do is sit around and want shit that belongs to other people? you're coming up to me, bringing all kinds of energy and intentions i don't know, then you're doing the bare minimum, cause you wanna be serviced and think I should make all the moves, cause you don't want a dance partner, you want a daddy. bro, all the fuckin shit i got on my mind, and you can't even seduce me or get me in the mood? why don't u fuckin make me happy, u want me to be happy don't u? i know you do. all the fuckin free content i'm postin to my page ain't enough for you, you wanna pop in and get more without a liftin a finger? yeah, worse than a woman, bro. don't waste my fuckin time, u can't even strut.

i don't wanna fucking need you. being needed is sick and weird. people who need to be needed to do weird shit to keep you needing em, they're like fucking drug pushers. they want to be your fix, cause they don't value your autonomy and happiness. i don't wanna rip your asshole apart and be stitched to you by guilt and shame, so -- hey. we may be making each other sick and miserable, but at least we know nobody's walkin out! i wanna fuckin love you and love you perfectly because i know you're completely superfluous! the fact that i don't need you at all is what will ultimately make me need you most and that is why love is a glorious paradox which can only be reconciled by the living it, bitch.

so, yeah. jittery nerd boys tend to assume i'm a bootstrapper type, as opposed to someone raised by drunks who attracts a lot of learned helplessness. i tend to default to not asking for help, cause what i need won't be offered, and it's dangerous to delude myself into thinking otherwise. humans live in tribes, and you don't have the protection of other people around ya, it does shit to your brain, but if you're smart, you can adapt. sometimes people resent your ability to adapt because they know they've been made lesser and feel they were never "allowed" to try and adapt. that is, they were beaten back into place and learned the wrong lesson too soon, so they never tried again, never diversified their approach, never subjected themselves to more fruitless struggle to really see how futile the effort was. it's sometimes a decision if it's worth trying to make what you have to offer work. i never once said it would be easy or instantaneous. i never said there'd be no inertia, no pain, no struggle. that sounds more like a concealed wish on your part, bud. i'm mostly pointing out that, when it comes to passivity, coercion, brainwashing, it continues because We Are Always Accepting It and That Is A Choice and While There Will Be Consequences and Sacrifices To Be Made, we can stop accepting our brainwashing, stop accepting our priming, see what changes come easy, see which ones we really gotta fight for.

i tend to fall in and out of the habit of prioritizing other people's feelings.

i'd used to think this was because i was socially retarded and there was something wrong with me. i was, and there was, but this wasn't an intrinsic feature of my psyche, or something which composed a part of my essence. -- rather, it was something which was implanted.

when i look back at my life, i'm forced to conclude that i had naturally high intelligence from the start. i can't speak for everyone, but i suspect most developmentally typical children possess a similar amount of boundless consciousness, albeit dispersed along their natural inclinations. i myself was always drawn towards language, and always felt in my own head, and got a sense that i could pick up on multiple and contradictory meanings in type. i'd tended naturally to pick up on patterns in stories, anticipate certain things, remember certain cues easier. certain subjects and ideas came to me as though second-nature and i gravitated towards them, and in doing so achieved something of my unique potential.

this ought be everybody's right, though i myself, still being a member of everyone, was not allowed idyllic and infinite time for study and pleasure.

the members of my family, far exceeding what ought be typical a healthy employee/employer relation seemed, rather than working to live, living to work, and i had as a young man attributed this to greed, appetite, lust. money, money, money, get drunk it's so funny to screw in the open and walk around naked in front of children. sure, they did do this openly in the 70's, in locker rooms, dad, but now that i am a man, i am told that you were showing me your dick because u wanted me to suck it. would i have had such severe body dysmorphia if i'd been exposed to more naked men as a kid? ... how the fuck does any baseball coach do their job anymore? my father took me to the YMCA. did i see naked old men in there? was that a traumatic memory i blurred out, or was that normal and i'm only making it weird now? is it kiddie porn to photograph your child naked in the bath, i always thought that was sus. please tell me if i was groomed, trusted male authority figure. i don't know who to think for myself.

reap what you sow

reap what you sow

reap what you sow

(hyuk-hyuk!

u are being fondled as a boy now

in this and all timelines

u are under the fan

ur child rapist father is gettin his ass slammered)

honestly, bro. i have so many better things to ruminate over. stop trying to fucking gaslight me into thinking i was groomed, holy shit. how do you square fucking men openly with being this much of a bootlicker? can you give me an answer even stupider than the question i just asked?

so as i was saying, this should be everyone's right, the time and the freedom, once social dues are paid or survival conditions mitigated, to discover and develop their unique potentials, but as is typical, as it was with my parents, there tends to set in a feeling of bitter hopelessness, of fatalistic inclination towards the route pressures of the pre-determined, for one comes to so clearly see the mechanisms into which they've been slotted, so clearly see the ways in which they've been amputated and manually rotated, that they've dug themselves into a cozy little ditch, with nothing much worth living for, particularly when "Family" is both a flimsy pretense as well as your only bond, for no matter how aching, mechanical and transactional it becomes with a bloodsucker, that's still your closest and only available source of nourishment.

it's as though one trains themselves to accept less, to expect less, to reduce their overall capacity for joy to mitigate pain, already having so much, so many things to do, and so many obligations to attend to.

these things always come on a case-by-case basis. you ought know your own life better than anyone. who knows all the ways you yourself were right all along, how the things others made you feel stupid for were simply not fully-developed or fully contextualized. all the ways you were forced to prioritize the expectations of others, their way of thinking, their categorizations, the phrases they use, unintentionally internalizing their biases and mistaking their feelings and preferences for your own -- just repeating back things you've heard, with little variation, as though preserving some pure intention, but nonetheless in doing so, failing to explore your own, or finding yourself something like an old prop box at the back of a costume closet, begging for a flesh to fill the void.

I Suspect What Kills Technologically Advanced Nations Is Their Slow Enslavement and Consumption By The False God of Comfort.

aforementioned soft-boys whom i befriend -- they were called dandy lions among the rush bushes (rose bushes / bull rushes!) by a charming young gentleman i ruthlessly interrogated earlier this evening -- tend to be baffled by the tendency of hyper-masc types or (hank hill voice) hwhaoite peayhpyuhl (effortlessly revealed another lovecraft monster. start offering unto it libations, beta bitches. piss in a bud light can, leave it out on the sidewalk, whisper His name in the light of the moon and leave it for a beat cop to drink Who Is His Instrument) to expose themselves to deliberate hardship or "rough it" and this is simply because good stolid state of nature boys intuitively understand an organism is the sum of its biorhythms, that is, carved and sculpted by the paths it routinely takes. constantly exerting force -- strength training -- keeps you strong. constantly laying on your ass and being taken care of makes you a dependent baby. you need to voluntarily take on responsibility, and the more you do it, the better you get at it. now, some people can become too rigid, too inflexible, and stress themselves the fuck out by being too strict, and this can make disciplinary thinking its own drug, its own form of escapism -- workaholism often goes hand-in-hand with alcoholism, but workaholism is also why we allowed a dark sorcerer like John Harvey Kellog to brainwash us into thinking breakfast is anything but a ploy to lull you into a dazed sugar-carb stupor every morning to cow u up for the workday, and also circumcision is a good for children, and it's not at all weird that ur anti-groomer sky god likes to cut babydicks, no christianity, u don't get to accuse the jews of worshipping the devil not when u worship the same one and anyway everybody knows He lives at the Vatican, Where You Keep All Your Finest and Most Comely Slave Boys

Don't Lie I Saw Them.

you need to explore your own talents, kids. you need to get these stresses out in a productive way which's cathartic for you. it's good when you cry. your eyes physically accumulate a lot of debris and crying washes them out. when you feel something, you get it out of your system. next time you feel Real Fuckin Bad and you just wanna reach for the vape or your phone or a cigarette or another twinkie or Whatever The Fuck It is ... bro, just stop. just stop and don't run away from it. just let yourself feel bad for a bit. just ... just let it happen, bro. it's not gonna hurt. it's already hurt. you're just remembering how much it already hurt. once you remember, you won't have to forget, you can just not think about it. it's okay, bro. it can't hurt you. you don't need to hurt anyone. it's okay, bro.

Sometimes If It Won't Stop Hurting, You Might Just Have To Make Something. Maybe What You Make Will Be Bad. It don't matter. You don't have to show it to anybody. Just look at it. Look at what you made. Look at what you like about it, look at what about it you think isn't coming across as finely articulated as you'd like. See what's a legitimate shortcoming, and what's an emerging property of your style. You'll have to keep it relational between developing your overall skillset vs. developing certain aspects, and sometimes certain things can coast because a stable foundation of competency is Better Than Good Enough, and if there's some things it seems like are coming way harder than others, it's Fruitful to Know How to Compensate Elsewhere to Conceal or Mitigate This. Sometimes we have decent reasons to hide things. The best way to hide something which isn't shameful, but nonetheless Not Worth Going Into Right Now is to prepare A Convincing Cover Story. Something casually stated, but not quite non-committal. Think of it as the construction of a shrine. You're embellishing both to conceal and reveal, but at a pace you're more comfortable with. A telling detail, telling of the whole, but able to eclipse it. It's the sort of thing that, once you slip the mask off, you find the face beneath is somehow just as lovely. You want to speak as though your lie is rapidly becoming the truth, for you are speaking plainly and with the facts, in service to the truth, but nonetheless, here we are on a detour, you should only be thinking of it as the scenic route.

There Are Many Finer Points to Artistry,

Though Sometimes We Do Our Best Work When Clumsy

So yes, I fall in and out of the habit of prioritizing other people's feelings, because sometimes -- certain lessons being learned, others unlearned -- I allow the development of new strategies to slowly shift my priorities and lose contact with my own internal locus of self-control by, in a sense, allowing myself to fall too under the gravity of another's thought, to the point where i am captured and come into their orbit, which, if you're a rogue body can lead to nowhere but inevitable collision.

This is partly because I am a highly personalized rig, previously unaware of the ways I could be reformatted by rogue installs, though it's just as much because of the tension of What I Know vs. What The Other Person Doesn't vs. What I Don't Know They Don't Know and What They Don't Know They Don't Know. If you, say, grow up in highly bizarre circumstances and everyone around you assumes theirs are normal ... they may not consider the ways your circumstances are nothing like theirs, they're Far Too Used To Assuming Everyone Shares the Same Normal ... and what's just as true, is that you yourself might not even stop to consider all the ways your abnormal normal in-fact quite neatly dovetails with their abnormal normal, for the only thing truly shocking about your circumstances is the frankness, all the other gay boys out there are a helluva lot better at keepin this shit on the downlow!

It's so weird to think that so many people can be so afraid of communication because they consider so much of communication to be conflict -- every silence a minefield to navigate, every improperly feigned tone an open fire! On every messenger! Kill every envoy! Let nothing get through! Walls up! Nobody's gettin in or out alive!

If everyone's running from something and getting nowhere, is a free country anything more than a bunch of a scared pissing lil rodents running around on hamster wheels, beefed up to roid-estate scale with big gaudy flashing LCD rims and shrieking tire music on every carousel?

just be aware, bro. it's all i ask and it's what you want.

be aware of how the things you're letting into your life are influencing you. honestly assess how much certain things may be holding you back. what seems like it's a fixed and immovable part of your life that's only being held there, gravitationally in place, by five or six other things You Don't Actually Need because you've allowed so many things to become entangled which don't need to be, and maybe in some ways you'd let these things bloat and obscure and compose a Strange Tapestry for you longed to Veil Some Stain, but now You Are A Man and may Strip Down to Your Briefs and Bare Your Pockmarked Flesh to the Sun.

No matter what you do next, you're gonna act, in service to someone or something, and the more aware you are of all the things you're already doing and all the things you're already serving, the better able you'll be to negotiate and navigate the situations and the circumstances you're already in, so the only thing that's possibly gonna happen now is that you're gonna get more aware, happier and better, lil guy.

ain't it fuckin grand to have such a swell big bro?

[january31st]

I show up to the party just to leave (Venable x reader)

Summary: After a long time of not seeing each other, your brother invites you to his birthday party.

A/N: Title from Amoeba by Clairo. Her new album is like salt on an open wound, but in the softest way possible, and I love it :'). This has been in the drafts for a month and it was supposed to be a quick one to get me out of a slump :/ oops i guess (also i have no idea what this is or how we got here)

The reader doesn’t know about the whole selling their souls to the devil thing

Warnings: Drug addiction, overdose and hospital mentions. 

Masterlist

~1800 words

The brightness inside Kineros was somehow even worse than outside in the California heat. Its whiteness and clean, modern look took you by surprise, given that your brother’s room back home used to be a mountain of unwashed dishes and dirty clothes, his PC setup the only thing you could look at without getting a headache. 

“This.... is insane Jeff” you said as you took your sunglasses off, squinting very hard.

“I told you! I don’t know what’s so hard to believe about it. The whole multi-million company thing wasn’t convincing enough to make you believe this place is nice?” He said as he led you around to his office.

“Well, I’m just saying that coming from you I expected more of a nerd bunker than a sci-fi spaceship”

“Are your standards really that low Y/N?” he said with his hand on his chest, pretending to be deeply offended.

“Yeah, in the beginning you bragged for months about your Van”

“Oh but you can’t say that a company on the move isn’t cool”

“Sure” you said, shifting your attention to the woman in purple sitting behind the desk.

“Hi, you must be Ms.Venable! I’m Y/N, Jeff’s sister.” You said with your hand stretched out in front of you.

She looked from you to Jeff, and then at your hand, considering whether she should take it or not. Slowly, with the help of her cane, she stood up and shook it.

“And I hear you would be joining us to prepare for tomorrow, although I’ve told Mr. Pfister I have it handled.” She said, shooting your brother a menacing look, but you were too distracted by the feeling of her gloved hand still in yours. Had someone turned off the AC?

“I know Ms. Venable, I just had to show her the place before the party so she would believe it is nice. And by having her help get things ready she would know we didn’t mess things around to make it look better than it is” He said, and when you managed to shift your gaze away from her you noticed how Jeff looked. Someone finally taught him respect?

“If I had met Ms.Venable before, maybe I wouldn’t doubt how nice it is.”

“If you hadn’t left home for so long, maybe you would know more about the company”

“If you didn’t have so much blow up your nose all the time back then, maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to run away!” 

“Awww family reunions are so cute” You turned to the circle door on the left side of the room to see your brother’s work partner leaning against it and looking at you two with a pout.

“Oh… hey Mutt” 

“How is my favourite Pfister doing? I can’t believe how long it has been since I’ve seen you bro!” He said giving you a hug you did not expect.

“Hey! What the hell? Your favourite Pfister? Really? Stop flirting with my sister, asshole” said Jeff.

“I’m not! But it’s true, your sister is the best. Back then before we even dreamt of Kineros, the three of us would have so much fun!” Mutt answered, his arm still around your shoulders.

“Yeah I guess, before you two started your bullshit in between the lines” you said, scratching at your nose.

“Oh, speaking of flirting, how is that girlfriend of yours doing?” Jeff asked.

“Girlfriend? What… Ah. Yeah, well- she..” You laughed “ I swear I can’t make this shit up. Has it been that long since we spoke really?” The topic was making you even more uncomfortable, and you noticed that Ms. Venable was looking at you with an almost curious look? Was it? She was hard to read.

“Well, would you believe it, she fell in love with your dear coke instead.” Jeff looked at you as if he had just broken your favourite toy.

“Yea she just dumped me a while back and hit the streets. I tried to look for her, but she was just gone. I have no clue if she’s even alive.”

“Shit Y/N I’m sorry” Jeff said.

“Are you? Or are you still sniffing lines like a mad man?” 

“Technically not lines no.” He said, smiling at Mutt knowingly.

You took his arm from your shoulders. “So you’re telling me that if I punch your ass right now it wouldn’t be snowing in here?”

When he didn’t answer with anything other than laughter you went on “It’s not funny! None of this is funny Jeff! Not now, and not that time I had to take your ODing ass to the ER! And not on all those times you were in withdrawal!”

He only laughed more, and said “It would be hell if that happened again!”

“Jeff! Have you-”

“I’m terribly sorry to interrupt, but the last of the decorations for tomorrow are just arriving.” said Ms. Venable. And despite her low voice, all three of you went silent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You worry too much”

“What?” You asked through the pen you were chewing at, with your back still turned to her from the top of the chair, as you exchanged the regular lightbulb with a colorful one from the box you were holding.

She didn’t repeat herself for a while, as if she regretted saying anything in the first place. The past hour or so you had barely exchanged more than a couple words, her impassive looks making you assume she just didn’t like you.

“You worry too much about him.” She said, her voice loud and clear this time.

You stepped down from the chair placing the white bulb on the box she was holding with one hand. Thinking about your brother now made something clench on your stomach. To hide how hard it was to find an answer for her, you went to write a check on the lighting part of your to-do list.

“How could I not?” You asked.

“I must admit his lifestyle is… interesting. But it seems to have worked to bring this company to where it is today.” She said.

“I know he’s your boss, but you don’t have to doll-up how things are around here. And don’t give him more credit than he deserves, he is cocky enough about it.” after a pause you added “I know that if it were up to him, he would still be assembling robots amidst his dirty socks. It doesn’t take much to realise who’s behind everything that isn’t necessarily robots here.”

You reached for the box she was holding to go put it away, and noticed she was standing as still as a statue. Grabbing it from her with the ghost of a friendly smile on your face you went on, since she didn���t seem to know how to answer you this time.

“He used to say it helped him think and work better. And maybe it does but as his sister I can’t just ignore it and pretend I’m okay with it. He never takes things that matter seriously.”

“Before we got here I- for some stupid reason- actually thought he stopped it. He isn’t like he was before. Something has changed about him.”

“It has.” She said. “I think his dedication to the job put him in his tracks somewhat. Whatever his tracks are” She added with a smirk.

Giggling at that, you said, holding the checklist for her to see “Now that we´re done, how about we go get a snack and talk about something that doesn’t involve dumb and dumber or their tragic hairstyles?”

Fighting back a smile, she guided you somewhere you could eat, and said “I’m glad you don’t have a bowl cut too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the first hour or so Jeff introduced you to random people at the party, none of them getting much of your attention at all. Fancy and famous people, and though it was hard to believe seeing your brother around them- their nice suits next to his striped shirt, jeans and hoodie- you didn’t feel astonished at all. You felt crushed by everyone around you and took every opportunity to avoid dull conversation.

Some of them were surprised to meet you, to see how his casualty wasn’t a trait you shared, and given that you knew this would be a somewhat big party you did, in fact, dress up to the occasion. You decided to wear a nice blazer over a silk lingerie type shirt, straight legged pants and heels, hair slicked back and makeup dark and bold. Anywhere else you would look out of place, but here you managed to melt into the rest of the well dressed crowd. Thankfully that worked to your advantage so you could be away from the center of attention.

On the quick calls you did have, your brother never failed to gloat about his life and how great things were, and a part of you hoped blindlessly that it would mean he left his bad habits behind. Though now as you stood under the coloured lights it was more than obvious that he wouldn’t change, and all the bad memories from his addiction came back to you at once. Overwhelmed by your thoughts and the ambient itself, you made your way to the outside of the building unaware of the tic-toc of a cane following you.

“Where are you going?” her voice pulled you back to reality.

“I don’t know. Just away from this” you said, hand waving in the air. Then you took a second to look at her, as formally dressed as the day before, lilac suit and all, only her expression had changed. Though you knew she would never admit it, her face was contorted in a plea, almost begging for you to stay.

“I thought he changed. I really did. Like a foolish fucking child.”You blurted out.

“You don’t have to leave like this.” She stated, sounding disinterested despite herself.

“I do. I really do.”

“I never come to these events… I hate these people just as much as you do.” You narrowed your eyes at her, waiting for the rest of it, and when it didn’t come you asked “What made you come this time?”

After a long pause she said “I was surprised to meet you. I would never believe your brother had someone as… prudent and sensible in his life.” Another pause. “I’m trying to say don’t leave m-” She stopped herself.

“Then take me somewhere” You said without thinking, looking straight into those brown eyes as they seemed to soften. And for the first time her face twisted into what was definitely, unmistakably, a smile, and all you could do was smile right back.

“Come along then”

[aobakukkii]

✬Bokuto Relationship Headcanons✬

Bokuto x Gender Neutral Reader

(+small male reader bonus part at the end because the guys deserve it)

✬

Just really fluffy stuff for you and best boy

✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬

- Having someone like Bokuto as your partner will be an incredibly rewarding experience, if you are willing to adapt to his antics. He actively seeks out fun, excitement and chances to grow and expects you to be his personal portable power bank on his journey. For him, one must always try to become the most ideal version of oneself and this also involves moving someone out of their comfort zone because boy does not like feeling restrained. He picks up cues on how to handle people extremely well and makes sure that both of you feel happy and secure on your path. Most of the time Bokuto radiates positive energy and hype, so his s/o really does not have to worry and just put faith into his skills.

- Bokuto likes to express his feelings through physical affection. He is awfully touchy with people he is close with and his s/o gets to feel it double. Bokuto is build for the greatest of cuddles and hugs and he just finds it so easy and convenient to hold his s/o close or touch any given part of their body throughout the day to say “I love you and I deeply care about you”, although his s/o could always ask him to say it out loud and he would shower them with sweet-nothings and compliments.

In return, he wants his s/o to accept his affection, return it in their way and finally their attention. He’s not per se the most jealous person (only to a certain extent) and completely understand that sometimes people need their alone time, but he’s self-absorbed to a degree that he wants and needs to be the center of your love and attention at least a little bit everyday. Otherwise he can become really whiny. To stop him just do something (in his eyes) really cute and everything is forgiven.

- One word that Bokuto does not know of is shame. He wants to show off and attention and this has an impact on how he displays PDA when you don’t stop him. He prides himself a lot on having the best s/o ever and sadly won’t accept nothing as an option because he can’t help himself. He is fine with keeping it on a low level like holding hands, leaning onto each other or throwing his arm around your shoulder, but if you let him go as he pleases him he may just make you sit on his lap or pick you up and spin you around once you guys meet.

- Contrary to what some might think, Bokuto does appreciates relaxed dates to recharge. The most common quality time with him is chilling at one of your places after work/university/school and just play video games or binge shows. However daily responsibilities won’t stop him from dragging you out at night for some “late-night adventures” like getting some food and/or taking a walk and talking about random stuff while appreciating the privacy and beauty of the dark so hopefully you’re into that as well.

He regularly checks for new or popular spots in and around town for you guys to visit on your days off. A popular restaurant, local sightseeing spots, an interesting exhibition, any amusement park (probably his favorite date spot) or some escape room, he wants to see them all. He also really loves to travel to near and far with you and take cheesy, but cute, couple selfies. However his schedule sadly limits his abilities to do so often besides local stuff and short trips.

- When you guys are apart, especially for a longer period of time, he quite literally trashes your phone with the amount of notifications and videos he sends you throughout the day. He begs you to install Snapchat (if you don’t already have it) and vlogs you his training, things you might find interesting and bad jokes in hopes of making you smile. Speaking of bad jokes, expect a lot of memes for another cheap laugh. If you’re somewhat responsible you should not produce content at a similar rate (you both need to get something done after all), but as long as you reply ever so often you make his day.

- In a relationship with Bokuto, you will receive a lot of support but also have to give a lot of support. He feels like it’s his responsibility to bring you back up and make you feel special and that’s exactly what he needs in return. He is without a doubt resilient and some kisses, hugs and compliments can get him back on track most of the time, but he couldn’t handle if the person he trusts the most does not have his back or rejects him when he needs them.

Nevertheless, his style of love involves a lot of spoiling his s/o rotten and if he gets spoiled in return, you should be well prepared for possible hardships.

- Have I mentioned that he is perfect if you take care of him? He won’t have a problem with including you in his friend-circle (his teammates and you have a lot of passive contact through his vlogs anyway) or inserting himself into yours. He’s ready to indulge in interests you might have as long as he can spend some time with you. It’s pretty easy to get him hooked onto something as long as you love it.

- It’s really important for him that try to cheer him on during his games and that you are active enough to play at least a bit of volleyball with him (not like you could keep up with him otherwise). He’s a patient teacher, but you will probably learn the most about being a setter for countless demonstrations of his straights. If you already play volleyball at any level really, he’s even more satisfied. The experience of playing with you is one of the biggest confidence boosts he can get for his games and he's determined to use the techniques he showed you to win! Another big boost is to wear his merch or even better his spare training clothes (or option 3: both) when you attend the games in person. Show others that you're his #1 fan!

✬

Fanboy BONUS~

Warning: Suggestive, but nothing graphic

- If you guys speak English (don’t worry, he passed his English exams), expect him to use surprisingly creative yet lame bro pick-up lines. You just know that he practices those with Kuroo.

- Remember the show off part? With a boyfriend he adds an “own the haters” attitude on top of it. When gushing about you, he can’t stop saying how HIS BOYFRIEND is the most fantastic thing in existence.  He’s maybe a bit overbearing sometimes, but his motivation is just so pure that barely anyone minds.

- He’s a top, deal with it. You can learn it the easy or the hard way, but he will assert it in your relationship in any way he wants.

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

I've been asking around this one question for a few people now, because I like hearing what people have to say about it...

So I wouldn't mind it if you shared a list on who's your favourite (from Most to Least) from the Obey Me! Crew (Brothers & Formally Undatables)...

Also, please feel free to ramble on about why you placed them in each space...

O-oh dear-

First off, you spoil an infodumper like me too much lol (I am happy sfjsjjdjn) and I am going to go overboard (and changing the order of things) for my own pleasure.

And so...

Second off...

Gladly

Here is My List of LEAST to MOST Favorite of The Obey Me Boys ^^

That I just did on spot because I didn't have one ready because it's hard for me to rate the characters as they all have their traits and even their flaws add something good to the character but I'll be dammed if I don't enjoy deep frying my brain for fun.

Please take note I am taking this literally and all characters in here are FAVORITES, just some will be more and some less, which mean I LIKE ALL OF THEM. Yes, I have changed my opinion on a certain two characters I have said to not like, and I am not ashamed to say I was incorrect.

So let's start this off with the right foot shall we?

#12 | Diavolo

He is still infuriating I won't deny that. And I won't pity him though he is a tragic character that is so lonely he overrates any kind of affection, that doesn't know how to interact with others without exagerating, that has no one to give an oposing opinion because of his status and so it's increasingly hard for him to learn to make good decisions, and with his goal to unite the realms I could almost say he is naive. He's a bit of a puppy always wanting some pets, but as a not dog person, I don't have enough in me to be always playing, so to me an overly needy puppy can end up getting annoying, though of course, I can't help it but at least give it a few pets before going my way.

.

#11 | Simeon

Yes in the end I actually liked him all along but was just in denial after I thought about it. Simeon is a good character, he's a dick even though he's an angel and he doesn't bother to be any different, he definetelly has his own set of rules he follows and I believe he would be a Chaotic Good just like me. He's well made. And as much as he is pretty unlikeable, the mystery, the questions, the fact that he has always been the same we just didn't get to interact with him much to see it, to have a naturally asshole character put down some of his walls to help us even if part out of possible self interest. And of course he's also fun. Simeon is charming, and I have come to appreciate all of him.

.

#10 | Luke

A kid. A brat and a tsundere. I Absolutely love the character development and it's extremelly adorable. He's now officially our guardian angel and I love that. He was just a prick that I rolled my eyes so hard whenever I encountered him in the game and now he's just a lil' bratty brother that is fun to tease and squish the cheeks off. He's a really nice kid in the end, just previously ignorant, but still nice because he was willing to learn and change despise saying he didn't want to. I personally can understand Luke as I was pretty alike as a kid. Again, he's a nice kid I would gladly buy some balloons and cotton candy for.

.

#9 | Barbatos

The number 1 buttler, he's just, a good dude l o l. He has his distance from everyone due to his position but that doesn't make him any less interesting. He is mysterious and powerful and yet he feels, so chill. He's also fun and actually has a pretty soft personality in which he knows exactly when to switch off to strict. He's a character I respect and wish existed in real life so I could be friends with (╥﹏╥).

.

#8 | Solomon

Shady sorcerer is actually a pretty good guy though mildly insane. He is actually responsable (and takes it pretty seriously seeing he's basically the representative of the human realm). He's kind though again, mildly insane, and diligent. He may have terrible food but the fact he does it with good intentions is pretty adorable, he just likes to follow his instincts and be spontaneous because he likes new and exciting things. He probably has quite a bit of angst to him due to his not only immortality in not aging but also by not being able to be killed but even so it feels that, contrary to how many human immortals end, he still hasn't lost the light in his eyes and can still enjoy things and enjoy being alive, and that is most likely thanks to other immortal/long living beings such as demons.

.

#7 | Lucifer

Yep. Lucifer is actually a really fucking great character, he's fond of his family, hard worker to the point of destroying himself, self punisher, elegant, pretty af, cute at times. But not exactly my most favorable cup of tea. Seeing I can see through his bullshit all his posessiveness, all his pettiness, all his actions just becomes ridiculous and annoying. And theres also a problem with the fact we always end up submiting to him, I don't want that. For every time he disrespects me I want him to kneel and kiss my feet. His pride collides with my own, and his decisions do too. But even so he is very reliable and so he has my respect for that, I do want to hug him and tell him he deserves nice things and that he can rest now this is not the war anymore you don't have to bow down to anyone anymore you didn't doom your brothers but freed them instead, but then again he makes bad decisions because he has zero braincells for emotional intelligence and that pisses me off and makes me just want to yeet him off a cliff. Yeah Lucifer, I would gladly kick you in the balls with ♡°.•love•.°♡.

.

#6 | Leviathan

Surprising is it not? But it's true, I often focus on Levi due to him not only being pretty alike to me but also because he's related to many things I have been familiar with since I was born: animes and games. His anxiousness is relatable, the outcastness is relatable, the awkwardness is relatable, the obsession is relatable, the references are relatable, the infodumping is relatable. He's very relatable to me, but not my most favorite, and all because of his envy. He's a guilt tripper, and though I am long immune to it in real life due to extreme exposure to it from my family, it still is enough for his rank to go down. I still love him though, but mostly as the character that represents the thing I am most familiar with in life: myself.

.

#5 | Beelzebub

Big puppy, he's the type of guy who will talk to plants. He has big and strong hands that could crush anything and yet he will do his best to handle some things gently. He's chill and non judgemental, loyal to the core. Once you win him over, you win him over, he would die for you. He is purposely childish at times and it's cute. He is amazing. I wish I could enjoy eating like he does. He's the only character I truly feel hurt for, as he is deeply inflicted by survivor's guilt and it just pains me I can't comfort him because he isn't real ಥ‿ಥ

.

#4 | Belphegor

Hoh boy. The brat. The fandom itself is pretty divided on their liking of Belphie and it's understandable lol. But I personally understand Belphie. To hide hurt behind anger, hate and spite, to turn to agression to prove a point but you end up just fucking up. But the guilt and wish to fix things can lead one to giving themselves up, and so it becomes a constant battle of getting close but not too close for the sake of both parties involved. I get this boy more than I wish I ever did, and that's why he's high on the ranking. And because he's cute ngl.

.

#3 | Satan

H o h b o y, another one that reminds me of myself, only it's the aftermath of the above where one bottles up all their negative feelings because being emotional is not being rational and who the fuck even wants to not be rational. Where you have no fucking idea who you are because all you know is to stomp your feet and scream for the sake of making an statement but that just proved all your enemies a point so now you turn to smarts to prove yourself. To make others angry, to make them frustrated and infuriated with your knowledge because you want to prove yourself, be reconized for who you are, to be someone and also, hopefully, change other people's ways, to make them understand they are wrong because you deep down actually want to get along with them. Yeah, Satan is high on the list, and it's also because he likes detectives uwu.

.

#2 | Asmodeus

What a fucking icon he is I love him okay. It frustrates me when people use cheating as a angst prompt for him as he's obviously someone who just isn't made for monogamy, and he's pretty honest and I feel he would have nothing to hide and would talk it all out with all his partners. He's a sweetheart that works hard on daily basis and hour after hour to mantain an image, he likes the attention, he wants to be loved. If anyone mildly self centered ever told me 'I love you as much as I love myself' I would marry them on spot. Asmo is just incredibly sweet and I love all his affection and respect him for all the work he does to make a good impression and look up to that self confidence even though most of it is actually just him trying to convince himself. Also perfect example off gender is an ilusion lol.

.

#1 | Mammon

Yep, our number 1, The Great Mammon, the most lovable dumbass that has been by our side from the start though with a bit of whining. This man is perfect. He has incredible self control over his powers, and as someone who used to be an angel to be able to use money all you want bro. I wouldn't feel bad either. He's our protector from start to end to the point he focuses on us instead of the queen in the Dame event. He isn't stupid just has selective focus just like me! And all the people with ADHD and many other neurodivergents. When he wants something he does is perfectly and diligently, he just needs the right push at the right time. He's the most good of all demons and even angels and he loves all his brothers deeply, he is always there to support everyone to the point of even allowing himself to be the punching bag for the sake of them not turning too much on one another. He was literally our first SSR card, our first call, our first pact, our first and the best. He IS great, truly.

[rint4rous]

hogwarts au! oikawa

a/n: wrote this with a bad headache LMAO so if you see mistakes no you didnt <3

yeah help

anyway

oikawa toru

sixth year slytherin

captain of slytherin quidditch team

this one. very popular with the girls.

always gets gifts and confessed to, he turns them all down nicely tho

he flirts with them a little but never goes out with anyone

thanks but no thanks, hes focusing on quidditch

mostly hangs out with hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi

you, sixth year gryffindor

a chaser for the quidditch team

actually you and oikawa had a bit of a rivalry thing going on

because oikawa was getting good grades AND is good at quidditch

and it doesnt even look like hes trying.

and he lowkey comes off as arrogant sometimes

and youre like i hate geniuses

the two of you met during first year when he tried playfully hitting iwa in the hallway but iwa dodged

and you happen to be speedwalking past and then next thing you know you get slapped???

you stop walking and turn to oikawa

hes like HOLY CRAPDFHJSHJR

“I AM SO SORRY-”

“it’s alright!”

“are you sure??”

“yeah, it was an accident, right? …. unless it wasnt?”

“NO I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”

“i thought so! see you ‘round!”

then you skip away

yeah. yall dont really start competing and shit until you found out your mom and his mom had BEEF??? WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL????

you found that out at the end of first year

“i heard tachibana’s son is in your year. or i guess she’s oikawa now.”

youre like yeah what about it

“my dearest y/n, you’re a smart little girl, okay?”

“so make sure you’re better than that oikawa kid, alright?”

and little innocent you is like “ok”

so start of second year, you study and work extra hard

but here’s perfect little oikawa who always knocks you down to second place

at first youre like. i’ll just work harder!

and he joins quidditch and so do you

so you try hard at that too

you’re not like a sore loser or anything so when slytherin wins you shake his hand with a smile

but by the end of the year you’re just kinda :/ now because you never see him studying or practicing spells so how the fuck is he BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!

third year you come into school with like not very good feelings abt oikawa

and your mom was on your ass about your grades and you’re like omfggg im TRYING OKAY IM TRYING SO HARD

too bad tho thats when he starts liking you …

middle of third year is when you start expressing those feelings for oikawa out loud

“i hate self-centered geniuses. come back down to earth, will you.”

he heard you say when test results came back

and hes like is she talking abt me? lol nah shes probably talking about stupid ushijima over there

and then he finds out you were in fact talking abt him

hes kinda hurt lol

then when the new term rolls in

and the two of you just start talking shit about each other and start arguing all the time

“what’s the answer, l/n?”

“fairy wings.”

“oh my bad, i didn’t realize she said oikawa, and not l/n.”

“oh sorry, i thought you wouldn’t know the answer so i answered for you! i saved you from embarrassing yourself. you’re welcome~”

your seatmate yaku was holding you down with all his might and HOW IS LITTLE MAN ABLE TO HOLD YOU BACK HIS GRIP IS STRONG BRO

the whole class s ighs here we go AGAIN

the teacher doesnt even bother sending you guys out to hall anymore because this happens so much

you always try to sabotage each other in potions

one time his eyebrows almost burned off after his potion exploded in his face

makki and mattsun like LMFAOWFEHERGUYER

then when the year ends you’re like ranting to your mom like “i hate geniuses. who does he think he is? just because he can beat me at everything?? i’ll show him. i’ll make him eat dirt in the field. i’ll wipe that dumb smirk off his face. i’ll-”

your mom: omg my little baby so full of hate just like her momma

fourth year you’re so determined to beat oikawa at something

he sees you in the library, unprovoked, once and he comes up from behind you like

“aw, is l/n gonna try beating me again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

you: hold it in hold it in hold it in YOU’RE MATURE NOW Y/N L/N. YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS DIMWIT IN FRONT OF YOU. inhale exhale inhale exhale

“aw, is oikawa gonna try beating ushiwaka in quidditch again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

way to be mature

poor oikawa tho you pressed a wrong button so he just leaves silently

you kinda regret it after

so this year goes like the last and so does the next

“arent you tired?? of competing with oikawa all the time??” your friend semi asked you

“kind of”

“then stop?? you dont have to fulfill your mom’s high school revenge lmao”

“ughh eita i know but im too far in”

one time you were out breaking curfew #savage

no but seriously you couldn’t sleep so you thought some fresh air will help, the dorms were super suffocating right now

you were stressed after your mom’s monthly letter

beat oikawa this beat oikawa that

you turn at a corner and you see the man himself, ALSO BREAKING CURFEW

now the both of you are looking at each other like 👁👄👁

“GOD L/N I THOUGHT YOU WERE A TEACHER I NEARLY DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK”

“shush before we both get caught”

“right sorry sorry”

“so what the hell are you doing breaking curfew.”

“what are you doing breaking curfew.”

“i asked you first”

“so?”

“just answer the question, oikawa.”

he looks around, making sure the coast was clear before he motions you over to him and as you walk towards him

you see the door hes standing in front of

he drags you in there and what you see is

a bunch of practice dummies

“yeah i,, practice my spells here at night. contrary to popular belief i’m not a genius like ushiwaka or tobio. i’m flattered you think so, though.”

and youre like he... actually practices?? he is actually human?

“what’s with that look? you wanna join me practice at night?”

“as if-” and then you see the book of spells and you guys aren’t even learning any of this YET. and you are determined not to fall behind oikawa “sure.”

oikawas like pardon?

you: i SAID SURE.

and so now at night you practice spells together

only because you want to beat him as if

the arguing goes down a little because you get caught up in beating each other at who gets to do the spell right first that practice runs super late sometimes and you dont have energy to fight with each other that early

everybodys like ??? huh????

but then you’re back to the usual bs in the afternoon and everybodys like oh okay so the world isnt ending yet

so anyway !! yall are practicing again

you’re pointing your wand at a practice dummy and trying to focus so you dont accidentally do something dumb

"hey why do you hate me so much?”

LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND BREAKS YOUR FOCUS

“it’s not because i hit you when we were first years right? it really was an accident i swear-”

“you still remember that?”

“well yeah… because i cant think of any other reason why you don’t like me.”

“um… trying too hard to please my mom, i guess. what about you? why did you try so hard to beat me at everything?” you ask, regaining your focus for the charm

“idk, you never paid attention to me unless i did.”

you scoff, “why? you don’t like me or anything, do you?”

“i do tho??”

he literally said that just before you chanted the spell and you got caught off guard and

“stupefy!”

it almost hits oikawa

oikawa: WHAT DID I DO

you: SHITHEAD DONT SAY THAT WHEN IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHFIBEFH

“HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???”

“I DONT KNOW IT WAS FUN COMPETING WITH YOU WHEN WE WERE SECOND YEARS AND IT JUST DID?? I TRIED SO HARD SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU AND I GUESS MY PLAN BACKFIRED BECAUSE I DONT THINK YOU LIKE ME VERY MUCH”

now youre staring at each other and you’re both red

he kinda quiets down “and you’re a better rival than ushijima anyway. i don’t mean any of the stuff i said, i swear. i know you don’t like me but i just needed to let that out or i will go insane.”

and hes just looking down all shy

at this point you actually dont know if you like oikawa or not

i mean??? you spent like 3 years butting heads with this dude

and he liked you the whole time?? hes crazy this man is crazy.

maybe you were just in denial the whole time

because?? you could’ve stopped competing with him at everything

maybe you did enjoy it somehow

he did make your life at school interesting

“let’s go out on a few dates and we’ll see.”

his head just whips up and his eyes like light up and hes so EXCITED

in the time before you officially started dating

you find out from iwaizumi that even tho he smiles at a lot of girls its actually rarely genuine the only girl hes ever seen oikawa smile about genuinely was you

and that his mom actually didnt approve of him playing quidditch at first because he had a bad knee but he pushed for it because he really wanted to

he has like a smug and a flippant demeanor but hes very attentive and super caring !!

hes super passionate and hard working at what he does and

i guess now you finally realize you are falling

it takes five dates until the two of you officially start going out

if you tell third year you that you were dating oikawa she would never believe it but here you are, walking to class with him

when the two of you walked in the classroom talking

like TALKING NORMALLY AND NOT THE USUAL “i will choke you in your sleep” “ooh, kinda k-” “don’t”

it was already sus when the arguing toned down a bit but now that its like. REALLY GONE?? everybody is so confused

LMFAO matsukawa asks like “what happened?? are you guys broken?”

“no???”

“how rude! dearest y/n and i are dating now!”

everybody in this class: see now thats crazy. that is crazy.

makki: maybe we didnt hear him right. say that again oikawa

oikawa: me and y/n are dating.

everybody: oh okay bc we thought you said you and l/n were dat- WAIT SO YOU AND L/N REALLY ARE TOGETHER??? 

you: unfortunately

oikawa: h-hey :((((

everybody: SO WE DONT GOTTA LISTEN TO YALL ARGUE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??? YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE WHOLE CLASS TO BUTTERBEER I THINK WE DESERVE IT AFTER THESE THREE YEARS OF CONSTANT YELLING

nobody was as SHOCKED as your moms

“y/n, baby, i know i did not just hear you say you’re dating the oikawa kid. repeat that for momma again.”

“i’m dating the oikawa kid.”

like?? MOM THIS WAS TECHNICALLY UR FAULT

“so toru, what did you wanna tell me?”

“i have a girlfriend now! her name is y/n l/n.”

“l/n? surely not THAT l/n’s daughter, right?”

“oh it is that l/n.”

when your families have dinner together for the first time

THE TENSION LMFAO

but they do try hard to get along. they try super hard.

they start getting along because MAN YOU AND OIKAWA WERE SOO CUTE AND THEY WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED AND THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG IF THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. THEIR GRANDKIDS ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!!!

“ma, we haven’t graduated yet-”

your mom, ignoring you: THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR

oikawa’s mom: AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SUPER SMART LIKE THEIR PARENTS!

your mom: AND WE’LL BE THE BEST GRANDMAS.

momma oiks: PERIOD!

steals your books from you in the halls so he can carry it for you

you tease each other with pet names and shit???

he’ll try to kiss your cheek in the hall but iwa grabs the back of his robe and pulls him away “you’re gross”

“you’re just jealous iwa!!”

when your houses arent playing each other, he goes to your games and vice versa!

tries to distract you in the field

“hey beautiful”

“toru don’t or i will make iwa knock you off your broom.”

“you're so mean”

so anyways yall r couple goals

"listen well, kindaichi, kunimi, your senior is showing you how to get girls.”

kunimi, without looking up from his book: what are you gonna teach us? accidentally slap the girl and get her to hate you for three years while you secretly pine over her during that time before confessing that you liked her the whole time and you go out on five dates and officially start dating? too much work

oikawa: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

[kuvvydraws]

Sooooooooo

  I may have, like immediately, continued the story from before with your additions added to it. So here we go, the next installment of 

ThunderBolt and Flash.

(Its long just so you know, and I am making a seperate google doc to record the story and your additions to it. This is proving to be a marvelous way for me to get my literary muscles working once more)

The Sweet Ones

At first, they flinch from the contact, only slightly. But as time goes by, and they keep that constant touch, slowly they seem to relax, just a bit. The constant thuds and exasperated sound of Papyrus hitting the doorway catches their attention, and seeing it for a bit leaves them a lil dazed…then he does it again, and they honest to God snort under their breath and chuckle. When the next flash comes they stiffen a lil, but as Poplar and Blue begin to ramble, talking about butterflies, to the best way to cook pasta, and even somehow getting into a rant about which pokemon are best (Bulbasaur is best boy, Gengar deserves a hug and Lugia is magnificent and totally a bird, yes they swim, ever heard of penguins?!) the human begins to relax again, and even joins in on the bandwagon.

And if every flash they press a little more into Ash and Sans, and in lull moments to gently grip their hands in gratitude, well who’s gonna say anything? And when they fall asleep next to these skele boys, and they don’t have their usual nightmares, the skeleboys are gonna have a much brighter, still subdued, but happier human friend come morning.

They still seem nervous going outside, but in the following days, their mood has definitely improved. A couple thunderstorms later, shared together, and a soft “thank you” would find its way being spoken to these sweet boys, each getting a hug of thanks and a soft earnest and genuine smile.

Team Anxiety

They notice the company through the haze of their own terror, and at first nothing changes. But slowly, the human starts getting more concerned over their fear, till instead of being comforted, they’re trying to comfort the anxiety team instead, taking bone hands from hoodie ends, and giving them things to be occupied with doing. It ends up being that distracting them helps distract themself, and they don’t really notice the thunderstorm, having slid into ‘my friends need me’ mode unconsciously. Going to make some honey sweetened hot chocolate for swap pap, deliberately starting a lil argument with Red that pulls him into talking and focusing on something else, and somehow wrangling Swapfell Pap into a blanket and keeping them nearby, and it turns into this strange comfort circle, everyone trying to comfort the other.

They are definitely more centered and put together afterwards, nightmares gone as their concern takes precedent. With some more similar instances under their belt, they’d ask if the skeleboys are afraid of thunderstorms as well? And when they are told that it’s not the case, but instead they had noticed that the human was scared of them and were trying to help….well if a smile could be fond and sad at the same time, then the human does one. And they would give some very sincere thanks to them.

I’ll fistfight Zeus for you Squad

Perhaps the strangest reaction the human would have. The comfort items and food does help, and as they are busy distracting themselves with eating, they would notice the getting up, walking around…the patrolling. And the human would need to simply breathe for a moment…cause they recognize this behaviour. They see it happen when you guys go out to new places, or when one of the skele boys was sick for a bit…they would do this patrol as their way to make sure that…you guys were safe. And that would warm the human, and just the knowledge that two incredibly skilled individuals, friends, would consider their situation deserving of patrol status would have them struggling not to cry slightly.

They would calm down after a visit to the bathroom, and when they return, it would be a gradual decrease in their terror, as in their mind they imagine bolts of lightning being defeated and blocked by these two stalwart guardians. Even in their nightmare that night, it’s protected by their Skele guardians…and if they wake up and find themselves in the kitchen, whereupon said warm awkward hug, sincere comfort is offered by these two, well..they go back to sleep in much more assured spirits. They had never had that reaction to their fear before, even moreso, without being bombarded with questions about it. And it was consistent behaviour to…and that…that was more precious than they realized, as the one time they tried riding it out by themself and not with the skel bro’s was torture.

It’s after that time they made sure to always be with the skel boys during stormy seasons. Just being around them made everything so much easier to handle. It was getting to the point that you barely even considered the thunder and lightning that would flash outside, too comfortable, too at ease, feeling too safe and cared for to even contemplate your fear. And as this happens each time a thunderstorm occurs in the skele house when you’re with them, it does have an effect on the human, one seen during their next sleepover during a thunderstorm. So, during the next thunderstorm, as everyone is relaxing in the living room, you speak up, to use their bathroom for a bit, having brought your sleeping bag with you. You’ve done it before, it’s actually customary now whenever a storm is in the area for you to be at the skele house for a sleepover. So that doesn’t raise eyebrows, or well eye sockets…it’s when they come down..in shorter soft pants and a sleeveless hoodie, exposing their arms and legs for the first time.

It’s then that they would notice the very visible lichtenberg scar that runs down the front of their right leg and across their left arm, as though lightning had patterned itself onto their body. What is their reaction to this sight, of this scar along their friend’s body?

(I already have the story of how they got these scars written down, but I wanna see the boys reaction to the sight first)

[ayellowcurtain]

Could you please write about Robbe being a model for Sander's class at the Academy and drawing everyone's attention? Sander is trying to act cool although he is jealous when his friends flirt with him, so he asks Robbe out first chance he gets and finds out that others did too but Robbe had declined because he liked him?

A piece of pencil hits his paper, scarring the white space a little bit leaving a dent where, thankfully, Sander doesn’t have to draw any lines. He puffs, dropping his pencil on the holder of his easel under his canvas. He looks to the left, to where the pencil came from.

“He’s an actual fucking model! So hot!” Bert mouths, but Sander is sure other people heard it in the middle of the silence being interrupted just by soft sounds of pencils scrapping paper, calm breaths,, and some steps here and there, trying to get the proportions and positions right.

Sander doesn’t say anything or Bert won’t ever stop talking when they should be quiet, working on their projects.

But he’s not wrong. The boy in front of them, surrounded by all his colleagues, is a piece of art of his own. Everyone should draw, paint, portrait him because the world deserves to see someone so magical and beautiful.

Robin, Sander still remembers the name their teacher said almost an hour ago when the boy was still standing up and with all his oversized clothes on, smiling while being introduced, a lot more comfortable than he is now, sitting on a wooden chair, completely naked, clearly posing with his arms sort of hanging in between his legs, resting against his lean thighs to keep everyone from seeing him completely at all times.

Sander can’t help but look around him, noticing how some girls and boys keep their eyes on Robin for a little too long every time they need to check some detail. How Robin’s fingers keep twitching every once in a while, how he clenches his jaw when the attention starts to get a little too much.

This is all types of wrong, but Sander can’t stop thinking about kissing him. Not real kiss, just gently press their lips together, see how his lips feel, if they’re as soft as it seems. Maybe Robin would hug him and Sander would gladly carry him anywhere.

Sander puts his pencil down again, grabbing the tiny stand where all his pencils are, feeling the thin layer of the black dust he’s creating with all the sketching now stick to his tired and stiff fingers. It’s hard to focus when Robin’s doe, anxious eyes stop on him. Sander can’t not look back because he wants Robin to look at him, to know Sander is looking back, paying more attention than he needs to.

Robin tilts his head with bright, excited eyes like a puppy would when trying to imitate someone else’s movements. Sander bites the inside of his cheek, trying and failing ridiculously at not smiling, looking down to at least not be that much creepier.

“Sander!” The background whisper gets louder and he looks at Bert again, talking behind his easel so nobody else will hear him or understand what he’s saying, “I’m gonna get his number.”

“What? No, you’re not!”

“Five more minutes everyone!” The teacher interrupts them with his low, boring voice and Sander holds himself from rolling his eyes.

One hour per week will never be enough. Sander needs more time, to actually say at least a hello to the boy. And that’ll get so much harder if Bert does it too. He wants this boy to know he exists, and that he’s willing to do anything to go out with him. Doesn’t need to be a date if he’s not interested. Sander will listen to whatever Robin has to say over a boring coffee if that’s what it takes.

“Why not?” Sander tries to clean his fingertips against the back of his easel, pressing it hard, holding the wood for a second, dragging his fingertips to clean better to try and work a little more on his drawing before the class ends. He’s been working on this even in his free time, definitely spending more time than anyone else on this one drawing, for one class.

“Because…” Sander wets his lips with his tongue, focusing his attention on the little bump right on the top of Robin’s nose, making it wider and then a sharp, perfect line to the tip.

Because he has the most perfect face and body and you don’t deserve all of that. I do.

“Stop being weird! He’s just trying to help us.” Sander says instead, frowning, and looking at Bert for a second, so behind with his drawing.

“That’s even worse! Because he’s like what? In his first year? And we’re in our third! And I’ve seen you shirtless, bro. He...doesn’t even compare.”

The teachers claps his hands like he always does when they’ve ran out of time and Sander drops his pencil, jumping with the realization that the five minutes they had flew by. 

He’s sure nothing in this universe compares to the boy quickly grabbing his robe from the floor, putting it back on before talking to the teacher, Sander can’t hear from where they’re standing. Bert is already throwing his things inside his bag, and when Sander looks at their model, he’s already looking back at Sander. Their teacher is talking to some students a few steps to the side and Robin is there, on his own, like he’s asking Sander to go talk to him already.

He knows how these moments go, they don’t have much time because usually everyone wants to talk to the model, to ask maybe for some tips, to look at them closely like they’re some piece of art in a museum, trying to get their details saved for the next class before anyone else can like it’s a race.

He probably gets so many numbers thrown at him so easily in those conversations. Fuck, fuck fuck!

Somehow, Sander drags himself to the center of the circle, holding the strap of his heavy bag, trying to ground himself, feeling a little bit exposed, surrounded by easels all around them, standing on that tiny stage with just Robin, wearing his robe.

“Hi…” Robin starts and Sander swallows hard not to whine because even his voice is perfect. It’s so excruciatingly soothing, a little raspy when he starts talking but Sander tries to think it’s understandable, sitting one hour, naked in front of everyone, not really talking.

“Hey…” Sander tries not to be that person, to stare at every piece of Robbe’s bare skin in search for more details now that they’re here, up close. But his eyes go down a little, watching his clavicule, his long neck, his loose hair kinda messy, seeming like a cloud above his head, “Hm, I’m so sorry for this, if this makes you uncomfortable in any way, but...would like to go get a coffee?” 

He feels his eyebrows frowning, his eyes a little closed, so embarrased for once to be asking someone out so bluntly like this, in broad daylight, inside their college.

“Right now?” He asks a little surprised, and the way he sounds makes Sander look up at him, worried he really crossed a line he shouldn’t be crossing.

“No? Whatever you want, I mean. Today or any other day, whenever you’re free. I’m sorry.”

“No, hm, I want to.” Robin says softly, a little shy, and Sander melts completely, smiling without meaning to.

“You do?” He asks to make sure, hoping Robin understands he can say no and it’ll be completely fine.

“Yes. Of course.” The boy says of course more cofidently, and Sander is surprised by it, needing a second while staring at him to let those words and his tone really sit inside of him. Of course.

Sander is certain nobody else was ever this sure to want to spend time with him. Especially when they barely know each other, just spending a few hours together every week but without exchanging a word before this conversation.

“To be completely honest,” Robin starts, and Sander looks back up to at his rounded brown eyes instantly, interested in hearing anything the boy has to say, “I’ve been waiting a while.” 

Sander is not really following anymore, but Robin apparently can read his mind, and he explains, “For you to come talk to me. Even better if to invite me for a coffee.”

He blinks a few times, going back to every class he had with Robin as a model, looking for signs he may have ignored that this was something the boy wanted too. 

Sander just can’t believe his luck, “I’m sorry...I didn’t come before then.” 

He tries again like Robbe is a warm cup of tea and Sander doesn’t know if the temperature is cold enough to drink, but still warm enough to make him happy. 

“It’s okay. What matters is that you did eventually.” 

[bastardtetsu]

critical thinking | ch①

pairing: kuroo tetsuro x gn!reader

genre: college au, enemies to lovers, tsundere!reader, slow burn

wc: 1.9k

warnings: swearing, being a theatre major 

※ mlist | ● ② ③ ④

you knew it was a dumb bitch move to procrastinate on your science requirement.

trying to schedule gen-eds around the demanding requirements of your theatre degree was already a nightmare, and your aversion to maths and sciences makes it even more difficult to find classes that both fit in your schedule AND don’t make you want to actively drop out of school. you weren’t sure why you thought putting off your one and only science credit until your final semester was going to solve any of that. so, you couldn’t be shocked when your only option to graduate on time ended up being 9am chemistry 1. on a monday, no less.

the first class is just as bad as you expect. the lecture drags on for ages, and as much as you will your sleepy morning brain to wrap your head around the concepts being thrown at you, no amount of caffeine, color-coded notes, or mental gymnastics can ford the river of brain-muddling frustration standing between you and a passing grade - the one you need to graduate.

panic begins to set in as you visualize all the hard work you put into your degree rendered useless, all because of a class that doesn’t even have to do with your field of study. who decided there had to be a science requirement anyway? i don’t need fucking chemistry to get a theatre degree??

“if you’re having trouble with anything,” your professor announces, bringing your attention back to the lecture that's finally wrapping up, “the tutoring center on campus is a great resource. i also hold office hours at the times listed on the syllabus. that’s our time for today folks, have a good week.”

you check the syllabus - all of the professor’s office hours conflict with your other classes, of course. asking your classmates is out of the question, seeing as you’re the lone arts major in a sea of STEM and pre-med. as annoying as it is to have to add another item to your schedule, tutoring seems like the only option if you want any hope of graduating. luckily you have some time before your next class, so you pack up your things and head for the tutoring center.

you pray that a decent chem tutor is available during any of your limited free time as you approach the lady at the desk of the tutoring office. she informs you of several with hours later in the week, none of which align with your schedule, and one who is available for the next hour. you figure tutoring right after class isn’t a bad deal - especially considering it’s your only option. the woman gives you a classroom number and a name - kuroo tetsuro - and you set out.

it doesn’t take you long to find the right classroom, but you aren’t prepared for the sight that is waiting for you there. a strong jawline and a mess of black hair that appears to stick up on its own catch your eye first as he taps away at his phone screen, his bored slouch doing nothing to hide his imposing height.

“um... hi, kuroo?” you say tentatively. his eyes glance up from his phone, slightly startled.

“oh, hey,” he responds, sitting up a bit, “you here for tutoring?”

“i am,” you reply with a half smile, “y/n.”

“kuroo. nice to meet you, y/n,” he pulls out the chair next to him as an invitation, “what year are you?”

“i’m a senior,” you say as you make your way over and sit down, “i’m in chem 1.” he definitely seems taller up close, even sitting down.

“chem 1? as a senior?” he asks derisively, his lips curling into a smirk. embarrassment and annoyance shoot through your chest.

“i’m a theatre major, alright,” you respond dryly, “i’m just trying to get my science credit and go.”

“left it ‘til the last minute, huh?” that smirk is still on his face.

“yeah, not my best decision,” you reply, trying not to let your annoyance seep through, “but i’m just trying to pass this class so i can graduate.”

“well, hopefully i can help with that,” he says smugly, “i may be a lowly business major, but i’m pretty good with chem if i do say so myself.”

a business major. of course. you’re familiar with the future capitalist machinery of the business school from your limited experience with the frat parties they so densely populated. needless to say, the impression was not good.

“so what do you need help with?”

“um...” you pondered, “all of it?” he snickered.

“you’re gonna have to be more specific if you wanna get anywhere.” his tone is dripping with amusement. is he trying to piss you off?

“ugh,” you let out an exasperated grunt, suddenly averse to showing any kind of weakness to this jerk. you pull out your notebook and flip to the page where you had attempted to take notes earlier. “this stuff.”

he leans over to take a look at your notes, and as his eyes scan the page you suddenly notice his smell - some fancy-smelling cologne with like, sandalwood or some shit - and his strong but elegant bone structure. i could cut myself on those cheekbones, you think.

“these notes are terrible.”

annnndddd he ruined it.

“well i can’t exactly take good notes if i have no clue what’s going on,” you counter, “isn’t that what you’re supposed to help me with?”

“i can try,” he says with an amused grin, “but I’ve never seen someone struggle this much with the basics on day one.”

now, you could put up with a lot of shit, but the one thing you cannot stand is being condescended to. especially not by some egotistical capitalist fucker who barely knows you.

“look,” you say pointedly, holding back the urge to throat punch him right then and there, “i’m really busy, and i just wanna pass this class, so if you could help me without being a dick about it i’d really appreciate it.”

“aw, but where’s the fun in that?”

his lips twist back into that patronizing smirk - he’s definitely trying to get a rise out of you.

“fuck off,” you say with a roll of your eyes, refusing to take his bait, “are you gonna teach me chemistry or not?”

he chuckles quietly again, thoroughly entertained. “sure. only because I’m so kind, and i could use the challenge.”

you scoff, but hold yourself back from retorting. you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

at first, it’s excruciating. you loathe this douchey business bro getting off on being condescending while explaining chemistry to you like you don’t understand anything - which, to be fair, you don’t. but that somehow makes you resent him more.

granted, once you actually get down to business, kuroo is actually a pretty good tutor. he’s not actively annoying when he’s actually trying to teach you something, and he’s surprisingly patient and good at breaking things down. dude is smart, there’s no denying that.

nevertheless, even when he’s not being snarky, every correction he makes seems to fluster you more. you hate looking stupid in front of others, and something about kuroo seems to amplify that feeling by a thousand. you blame his attitude.

as you fumble trying to wrap your head around the unfamiliar numbers, symbols, & formulas, you’re simultaneously attempting to maintain a shred of dignity in front of this man who clearly thinks of you as the dumbest bitch on the planet. and the more you struggle, the more you worry he’s right.

“seeeee? i told you it wasn’t that hard!” he hums as you finish off another homework question you’d been struggling with. he can’t seem to praise you without being patronizing as fuck, either. you look up from your page momentarily to shoot him a glare.

frustration and embarrassment simmer inside of you with each of his snide remarks, but you hold yourself together and divert the attention back to studying each time. the restraint it takes not to deck him right in his pretty face is honestly deserving of a nobel peace prize.

“not bad,” he muses as you finally finish off the last of your homework, “and it only took you two and a half hours!”

“i’m floored,” you deadpan. your brain is too exhausted to formulate a more clever comeback. then you suddenly realize - “hang on... has it actually been two and a half hours? i thought you were only available for one??”

“technically,” he shrugs, “that’s when my tutoring hours end. but I wasn’t doing anything after, and you seemed like you needed the extra help.” that shitty smile is back. you can feel your blood boiling, but at the same time that... is actually pretty nice of him?

“ah... th-thanks,” you mumble, still resistant to showing any signs of weakness - much less gratitude - to the messy-haired prick.

“so, should i expect you back next week?” his stare reminds you of a cat sizing up its prey.

“uh... maybe,” you say. you honestly don’t have an answer yet. “i have to run though, i’ve got another class to get to.”

“don’t be a stranger,” he grins, “you’re gonna need a lot of help if you wanna graduate.”

you shoot him another glare as you swing your bag over your shoulder.

“i’ll think about it.”

he's still smirking at you as you walk out the door.

—

as much as you’d like to deny it, there’s not much to think about. none of the other chem tutors are available when you are, and there’s no way you’re passing the class without the extra help. and, as insufferable as he is, kuroo did help you get through your entire first week of homework successfully.

of course, you still resent having to rely on some nasty ass, pompous business major to mansplain chemistry to you every week so you can graduate. well, technically it’s not mansplaining since you don’t actually know anything about chemistry. and you technically also asked him to do it. but god, does he have to be such a dick about it??

it’s just an hour or two once a week, you reassure yourself, you can put up with it.

this is easier said than done, of course. the following monday, you begrudgingly approach the same classroom, empty except for one (1) chickenhead douchebag, who promptly stares you down with the most shiteating smile you’ve ever seen.

“oya oya~ look who decided to come back!” he croons.

“don’t flatter yourself, it’s not like I had much of a choice,” you respond flatly. why is he still looking at me with that dumb expression?

“true, there’s no way you’re passing on your own.”

“listen,” you reply pointedly, “some people have better things to do than worry about how many neutrons are on hydrogen or whatever”

“hydrogen doesn’t have any neutrons.”

“COOL!!!! i just want to graduate!!”

“well then you’re gonna need to know that hydrogen doesn’t have any neutr-”

“ALRIGHT, i got it,” you huff, “can you just… help me figure out this balancing equations shit? WITHOUT being an asshole about it?”

“hmm… sorry, i can only accept one request at a time.”

this is gonna be a long fucking semester.

a/n: eeeeee this is the first time i’ve actually wholeheartedly attempted to write a fic in lord knows how long (possibly ever?? idk them memories repressed) and my first time posting my own writing so i hope y’all like it !! everybody who’s ready to see me trash talk k*roo t*tsuro say way ho