#but i’m asking myself why i put 15-30 hours into one video when people like it and then just….. don’t share it

[gentlebeard]

i miss editing videos :((

[horsesarecreatures]

Unfortunately I think I’m going to have to move Cannoli to a new barn, at least until his medical needs ease. I brought up that I’m going to put shoes with medical plates on him because that’s what the vet wanted, and got a series of texts asking, “How long is going to take to change the dressing?”,  “Is it complicated?”, and “How does it work?”. So I answered to the best of my ability, explaining how they work and even sending a youtube video of a horse getting his dressing changed with the shoes on. I told them that I didn't know exactly how long it was going to take, but that it shouldn't be that long because 1). The dressing can be changed every other day rather than every day as long as the abscess doesn’t get worse 2). No wrapping or duct tape boots will be required anymore since the plate keeps the dressing in place and keeps everything dry and 3). If he’s sore on the other front hoof, nothing will have to be done to it because the shoe itself will provide support and protect his thin soles. 

I then asked if it was okay to give the farrier the green light to put these shoes on because she once again asked me what the shoes entail after I had already explained it. She then told me to call her and I did as soon as my class was over. On the phone, she expressed dismay over the time it was taking to wrap Cannoli’s feet and do the boots, and told me that she was going to have to start charging me more because it supposedly takes Rosa an hour to do. This did not seem right to me. While I believe that it may be a little bit more difficult since he’s not crosstie trained and someone else might have to hold him, Cannoli is not a crazy or difficult horse provided he is getting turned out or is getting his Ace while on stall rest. I have done the boots myself and for me it was a 15-20 minute job. The only time he was pain and started snatching his feet away was when he was on stall rest for like the fifth day in a row and Rosa didn’t give him his ace as directed so he was wild when the farrier came, or he was in extra pain because something with him got worse. It did not rain earlier today or yesterday so he went back outside, and since I’ve been working on him with picking his feet up he’s been perfectly fine.

But anyway, rather than getting into why it is supposedly taking them an hour to do, I simply stated that with the new hospital plate shoes they’d only have to focus on one hoof, every other day rather than every day, and wouldn’t have to use vet wrap or duct tape boots. She told me that she still was going to have to charge me $30 at least, probably more if it was going to take over a half hour, which for whatever reason she thought that it would. So I questioned this. I was very polite, but I said, “I really don’t think it will take as long as you think; let’s just try doing it tomorrow when he is supposed to get the shoes on and see how long it takes.”

This is where the conversation started to get very disappointing. She said I was being very unappreciative and that I had no idea what really goes into his care. She said that she’s going above and beyond for me and that all the other owners take care of their horses’ medical needs themselves (this is b.s. – I’ve seen Rosa wrapping plenty of other hooves, in addition to hand grazing and even grooming the horses of people who have horses but never come. Seriously, I have no clue who owns half the horses there, and there aren’t that many). I'm not oblivious to what his care is, but I was told that this was a full service facility where everything was included. But it occurred to me that over the summer when I asked if there were extra charges and she said no that maybe she only meant for short-term things, and this is turning out to be a longterm thing, so I didn’t even question her when she first said she would start charging me for wrapping the hooves. But today I brought up what she said over the summer, and she told me “I never said that, I never said that this is full care board.” Oh ok. Excuse me.

Then she told me, “I don’t appreciate you yelling at me.” Which is hilarious because the whole time my heart was sinking and I was literally being reminded of how my mother used to gaslight me. If I had flat-out said, “I’m not paying you extra and you’d still better do it anyway” I could have understood her reaction. But truly I was just asking questions because I  didn’t understand why she’s saying she’s going to charge me more when I’m implementing a course of action that should reduce the amount time spent caring for him. She got really defensive real quick. This was even worse than when I confronted Teresa about her hot summer day feed skipping habit – she got defensive too, but didn’t make it personal, and ultimately she agreed to stop skipping Amba’s feed within 15 minutes. This one, on the other hand, said I was being unreasonable, accused me of yelling at her (I don’t think that I did – I probably did raise my voice a little but it was just an instinctual response to her yelling at me first. I definitely was not as loud as her because I was still on campus at the time), accused me of calling her a liar when I said “No, you definitely did tell me that this was a full service facility this summer. If I misunderstood what you meant that’s fine, but please see where I’m coming from.”

And on and on it went with her accusing me of all this stuff I never said. She even told me, “I had no idea you were so unhappy here.” After I‘ve literally left her 5 star reviews on google and yelp. I do like this barn, or at least I thought I did, and I told her that I appreciated the level of care and maintence she takes with the place and the horses. No avail. She’s still going to charge me more and I don’t even know how much. I asked “$30?,” and she said, “I told you, I don’t know how long it’s going to take with him. This really isn’t stuff we normally do. All the others take care of their own horses.”

So, at that, I told her that I should probably just find a layup facility for him then. The situation is clearly stressing them out, and it’s stressing me out, to the point where I’m afraid to ask them to do anything regarding him. So the search is on. I can’t believe it. All this over an abscess.

By the way, a boarder with two horses left two weeks ago, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the one horse had an abscess this winter that lasted 2 weeks.

[lucy90712]

Sapnap- face cam

Wc- 1987

Warnings- none (I think)  I've been up for almost 30 hours mainly because I was doing college homework all of last night and because my boyfriend Sapnap was streaming and being very loud which kept me up in the first place which was why I did my homework anyway. I love Sapnap to death but sometime he can be a little annoying but I put up with it.

Sapnap only got into bed at 4am and he's still asleep now at 11pm meanwhile since then I've finished a big essay, cleaned the apartment, done another essay and then made breakfast for myself which I'm eating now. I wish I could be this productive when I've had sleep but somehow it never works like that.

Eventually Sapnap came downstairs sauntering because he was still sleepy, some of us wish. He walked right over giving me a hug from behind as I washed some dishes and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"Morning babe you alright?" He asked

"Yeah I'm good a little tired but I'll live" I replied

"Just to let you know I'll be streaming later" he said

He always tells me when he's streaming because his fans don't know about us and he doesn't want to accidentally reveal anything to protect me which is cute but it gets hard when he streams for hours on end and I need help with something. Sapnap is good about to it though if I really need help I either text him or message him on discord and he'll help but he sometimes doesn't read his messages.

I gave him some of what I made for breakfast and he sat down to eat it while I talked at him about college work that he pretends to care about. He's very supportive of all my college work and he'll let me get on with things if I have to but he will also talk about things with me if I want to. Thats one of the best things about Sapnap is his ability to adapt to how I'm feeling at any given moment and I like to think I'm at least ok at doing the same for him.

After breakfast Sapnap cleaned the rest of the dishes and let me take a shower which was nice and relaxing and woke me up a little bit as the cold water at the start hit my back, usually I would not be under the water as it warmed up but today I felt like I needed a shock to my system to get it going for another day. I had more homework and a lecture to do today so there was no chance for a nap until the evening when it's kind of pointless anyway.

After my shower I got dressed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt because it was comfy for sitting down all day in. Sapnap had got my laptop ready for me and had got me a glass for water which was sweet of him. My lecture was in about 2 minutes so I logged onto the class ready for it to start, when it did I put my headphones on so that Sapnap didn't have to listen to my teacher going on about whatever we were doing today, he always says he doesn't care but even I don't want to listen to it sometimes so there is no way he does.

As I tapped away making notes Sapnap put his hand on my knee rubbing his thumb in circles comfortingly. He does this all the time whether its sat on the sofa like right now or while we're driving somewhere but its safe to say that I love it, it lets me know he's there in a weird way it's like he's acknowledging my presence. At one point he got up and went to the kitchen and when he came back he had my favourite snack which he put between us so that we could share. What a lovely boyfriend he's being today, I'm starting to wonder what he thinks he's done that's he's trying to make up for.

My lecture finally finished after what seemed like and age so I went to get straight on with my last essay that needed submitting by the end of the month but Sapnap shut my laptop before I could get the document open, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the sofa and towards the door.

"Come on were going out for a walk" he said

"Why, I have an essay to work on" I whined

"You'll never leave the house if I don't drag you out so come on" he said handing me my shoes

I put them on and grabbed a jacket because according to the weather it was meant to be a little bit chilly out today, Sapnap grabbed the house keys and pushed me out the door onto the street. We don't often go out on walks because neither of us like leaving the house that much if we were to go out it would most likely be in the car to just go for a drive.

The two of us walked down the street holding hands and swinging them back and forth as we took steps forwards. Sapnap clearly had a good idea of where he wanted to go because he was making turns all over the place. Eventually we ended up at the target not that far from our place and we went in looking at everything like you do in target and we topped up on some snacks for a movie night soon.

We left with our snacks and Sapnap dragged me to the nearest park so we could sit outside and get a bit more fresh air. The nearest park is actually the one that we went to on one of our first dates so we have good memories there, on one of the benches by the duck pond is where we had our first kiss and many more after that.

I always love going back to that park with Sapnap because each time we reminisce on the past and talk about the future which seems to change each time we come here. We walked to the exact bench that we had our first kiss on and sat down looking at the scenery. It had changed quite a bit since the first time we were here, there used to be a little play park for kids in the distance but now thats gone and is replaced with a small flower garden instead.

The first time we came here and we talked about the future all we wanted was to still be together after we left for college which of course happened, then the next time we wanted to move in together which we did and now. I'm not really sure what the future holds for us but I'm sure it will be interesting.

"Wow its been so long since we came here we have changed so much and achieved everything that we wanted to" he said

"I know its so weird to think that our last goal was to move in together and now we have been living together for 5 months where do you think we will end up in the future?" I asked

"On man I have no idea but I would love to still be living together and maybe in a bigger place and maybe even be engaged" he said

This shocked me I never expected him to say that but I guess that is the next logical step for us to take in our relationship.

"I like the sound of that" I said  

We went back home and Sapnap went to stream while I worked on my essay he didn't tell me how long he was going to stream for but it will probably be about 3 hours. So I sat down and got on with writing the last 15 pages of my essay which would probably take me the entire time he was streaming maybe longer.

My essay took me almost exactly 4 hours to do but when I tried to submit it it wouldn't upload which happens from time to time. I looked at the upload speed of the WiFi since Sapnap taught me how to do it and it was fine but I assumed that it was being used for something else. This problem has happened before when Sapnap is uploading a video so I assumed that was the issue.

It got up and walked to Sapnap’s streaming room waiting outside for a moment to double check that he wasn't still streaming, I waited a couple minutes and heard nothing so I knocked and went in.

As soon as I went in I saw that Sapnap was still streaming and his face cam was on which meant that I was now on his stream in front of however many people. I've never made such a stupid mistake especially one that outs my entire relationship, I just stood in shock not being able to move and get out of the shot. Sapnap had the exact same reaction his face was filled with shock and fear at the same time.

Nothing prepares you for the moment that you expose yourself live in front of probably 100,000 people or more who will record anything that happens. Nothing prepares you for the chaos that will ensue when you do the before mentioned thing and definitely nothing prepares you for the guilt you feel doing so.

"Um hi y/n" He said trying to make things less awkward

"Hey" I replied shyly

He motioned for me to come over because there was no point trying to hide this anymore since no one will believe anything we say now. I stood next to Sapnap luckily being short enough that I still fit in frame but he had obviously given up caring at this point because he pulled me down into his lap to sit while we talked to his chat. Again he did the thing where he rubs his thumb in a circle on my leg and this time it really was for comfort.

"Well chat this is y/n and shes my... girlfriend" he said

"Hi everyone" I said shyly

"Now chat I'm going to need you to be nice to her or I'll be angry because she is very precious to me" he said

His chat were going insane telling others to clip this and people getting way to excited about all of this and some were asking questions. The whole chat was going so incredibly fast that it was hard to read all the messages.

We answered some of the basic questions like how long we have been together and other things, people also asked if George and Dream knew which of course they did and they have made jokes about Sapnap having a girlfriend but no one ever took it too seriously. At one point dream joined the call and started mocking us for being stupid and exposing ourselves and he told some stories that he knew we wouldn't mind him saying which the chat enjoyed.

I started yawning more and more as I stayed on the stream because I wasn't keeping my mind busy my tiredness was taking over. I leant back into Sapnap to rest my head on his shoulder, he out his hand on my head running it through my hair which is very relaxing.

"Are you tired?" He asked

"No I'm fine I can stay awake" I said

"I don't want to hear it I know you've been awake for over 24 hours so you are going to sleep" he almost demanded

He put his arms around my waist and pulled me into a comfortable position where I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost right away forgetting that Sapnap was still streaming but it doesn't matter.

[anambermusicbox]

September 29 Day Countdown (27/29): 2021/01/15 Interview with iFeng Entertainment 凤凰网《非常道》

(11:20) Interviewer asks whether he’s more affected by hurtful words or kind words; Zhou Shen then goes on to talk about his relationship with his fans:

ZS: After all, I’ve now debuted for 6 years now- (*more subdued*) my skin has gotten thicker. Before, hurtful words had a very big impact on me. I’d see these words and think (*gasps*) What did I do wrong? Why do they have to say this about me? Do I have to change something? If I do this differently would they not say this about me? 

But later I realized, no (*waves his hand dismissively*) To them, the people that don’t like you, as long as you exist, they won’t like you. So before, I would be affected a lot more by hurtful words, but now its about 51% and 49%, with that 51% being the hurtful words. But I’m working on flipping the percentages. This way, I think, I’m also doing right by the people who support me.

Interviewer: I think there are actually a lot of people who like you. (*ZS bows and thanks her awkwardly*) The other day, I was online and saw your fans professing their love, fussing over you. (*ZS laughs*)

ZS: Oh that’s right, because- a few days ago, I was doing a performance and- I don’t know if this is just what this fan says to singers they like, but they said (*cups hands around mouth*) (*extremely high pitched shout*) “Rest for a bit!! You’re tiring!!! Yourself!!! Out!!!!” (*laughs*) (T/N: It was after he filmed the winter-themed Happy Camp with the Onmyoji movie cast; there’s a video of the exact moment—super hilarious, I’ll put the link in the notes.) [...] I want to tell them, I’m doing fine here, don’t worry—I can take care of myself.

Interviewer: I think the way they talk to you is quite 没大没小 (referring someone to being disrespectful and talking to someone their senior the same way they talk to their peers; Zhou Shen looks quite shocked at her choice of words) They really treat you like (ZS, interjecting: a friend) someone they can throw jokes at, a kind of idol that is very close to them. How do you view the relationship between you and your fans?

ZS: Oh, I really don’t know. To be honest, I really don’t know. [...] Even now, sometimes I think they’re quite stupid. I say this because, sometimes, even if it’s just to see me sing one or two songs, they’ll stand outside the venue waiting for four to five hours on a harsh winter day. I feel really bad for them. But it’s like, to them this is one way they feel that they can give me strength, and I can’t tell them not to, because that would hurt them even more. 

So sometimes I look at them and think, oh look at this stupid group of people, so idiotically supporting me. This kind of stupidity is really quite touching. I want to put forth my best effort to reciprocate what they do.

(14:55) Interviewer: “Do you have moments where you feel pretty rotten?”

ZS: Oh, too many. (Interviewer: Tell me about it, from the past to the present) Wow. Okay then we have to delay the program recording scheduled next (*laughs*) there’s a LOT. I mean, since my childhood, my classmates unintentionally- it was really unintentional, they didn’t have the maturity to know that their words would be hurtful. But to me, they were very hurtful. But you can’t blame them for it, because they didn’t understand anything at the time. (T/N: no you can totally blame them for it, you’re just a nice person shenshen)

And more recently, as an artist, I had my own “cold bench period.” I felt like, I was working so hard but no one was willing to listen to me sing. Not only that, I felt I didn’t have a way to be heard. Because there was a period of time when I didn’t really have any work and, wah, everyday I felt so purposeless; I was just a rain cloud, I was so discouraged (*laughs*)

Interviewer: What about now, now that you’re so busy?

ZS: If I’m tired, I’ll be happy because I’m happy that there are stages that *want* me to sing on them. [...] I worked so hard to stay in this profession because I wanted to be heard by others, and now that this day has finally come, with so many stages I can sing on, why wouldn’t I go?

(16:40) Talks about how he doesn’t mind labels, because that how someone remembers you; ZS: “I saw this one comment I really liked, this person was saying they always thought there were two Zhou Shen’s—a male one who was funny on variety shows, and a female one that sang deep emotional songs—until one day they watched a show and realized, what?? It’s one Zhou Shen???”

(18:30) Interviewer: As I’m conversing with you, I can feel very relaxed, very happy—that’s the feeling you give people. (*ZS bows and quietly thanks her*) But I know from looking at your past that your childhood was quite lonely. What makes you be able to still be so warm—that is, to go and bring others... happiness. 

ZS: I think it’s because I’m really fortunate. Because... (*looks up in thought*) I... I grew up in a very remote mountainous village, but I’m really fortunate to have so many opportunities—coming into the city, being able to learn and come in contact with all the culture I love, and later even being about to devote myself to a career I love. I feel very fortunate.

And I know that, when you feel extremely alone, if you suddenly feel something like a beam of warmth, the joy or the kind of hope that can bring—when you receive it, you’re so happy. I think, I want to do that, if there’s a possibility I could have the honour to do that for someone else. I think it’s so important.

(21:00) Talks about his parents:

ZS: Even now, my mom and dad are still wanting to- still are running their small business that they love; I think it’s very laborious. I keep telling them, you both are getting older, you should take advantage of your age and go relax, enjoy yourselves. They say, no, we want to take some burden off of you, to which I’m like eh? (*leans over and covers mouth to whisper*) Mom you’re losing money every year. *laughs* 

Especially with the pandemic, their lifestyles have had the most obvious impact. Because they’re not like the younger generation that can continue doing things online. All they’ve known is getting up early to open their storefront, staying there until it’s time to close at nightfall.

Interviewer: (21:55) Your parents, before they didn’t support you going into music. What about now?

ZS: They think it’s great now. But they worry because they feel they have no way to help me in this career. [...] They once said- I asked them something like this one day, how they want to help me now. They said they can give me their storefront. I told them, then don’t help me (*laughs*) Because I’ve used to help them watch the store all the time growing up! I used to be doing my homework at their storefront. Ever since I was little, I’ve always really disliked doing business. So I felt like, oh mom dad, no. 

I’m really lucky. Even though my mom and dad don’t have very high education—it’s really quite low to be honest—they still chose to understand me. I’m very grateful to them.

(1:45) Interviewer asks what his first job was:

ZS: After I graduated from high school, my first job was selling phones. (Interviewer: Were you standing all day?) Yup, standing. [...] (Interviewer: So you have experience in the workplace?) Well, to be honest, I didn’t converse with people much in my so-called workplace—I have a very introverted personality; I’m not too fond of or good at talking to people.

Interviewer: Would someone who doesn’t like to talk to people be able to convince people to buy phones?

ZS: That’s why I didn’t sell any. (*bends over laughing*) You really had to say it so directly. (*laughs*) Zhuang-laoshi, you’re an accurate judge of people! (*gives her two thumbs up*) (*Interviewer laughs*)

(3:30) Interviewer tries asking him a question related to emotional intelligence (”qing shang”, 情商) but gets her words mixed up and says romance instead (”qing chang”, 情场); ZS: “Well, if we’re talking about romance, that’s an area I don’t have much experience in (*gets up and pretends to leave*) (Interviewer, laughing: To be honest, that’s the thing I really want to ask about.) Zhuang-laoshi, I really don’t have any experience with romance (*laughs*)

Interviewer: Okay what I was going to ask is, do you think EQ is important in the workplace?

ZS: Super important! For one thing, every workplace involves getting along with people, and part of the way you interact with people depends on your EQ.

Interviewer: But some people say that part of EQ is a skill, a means to an end—would it come off as insincere to others?

ZS: ?? (*blinks*) Can you give me an example?

Interviewer: Like for example, if I compliment you like “oh you’re such a great person (*half-hearted clapping*)” when I don’t truly mean it.

ZS: Oh that was so insincere (*makes faces*) (*Interviewer laughs*) I’m starting to question myself (*laughs*) I don’t think that’s a problem for me though. That’s why you shouldn’t force compliments. I think it’s important to be genuine with what you say—then people won’t think you’re being fake. If people think you’re being fake, that in itself already isn’t a display of good EQ. Be sincere, but try your hardest not to hurt others.

Interviewer: I want to ask another question-

ZS: Is it about romance? (*laughs*)

Interviewer, joking: We’ll talk about romance in a moment.

ZS: no nO NO LET’S NOT DO THAT (*laughs*)

(6:10) About how Zhou Shen didn’t expect to get along so well with everyone else in “An Exciting Offer”《令人心动的offer》:

ZS: On the first episode, every time I put in my own two cents, I had to work myself up just to speak up. My heart rate was through the roof, it was like- (*takes a deep breath*) (*raises hand*) “Laoshi? (*exaggerated suppressed panic*) Can I aSK a quESTION? (*pretends to look back and forth between the others*) (*Interviewer giggles*) I think this is just like, you see, I believe in the workplace, people who are have this personality-” How was I supposed to converse like this? (*laughs*) 

So that was how I was for the first two episodes, but now in the later episodes, I got used to just casually interjecting whenever I felt like it. It was quite wonderful. The other teachers were very approachable, very friendly—it felt like, something you imagined before, but when you really are in such a group, it was like, oh this kind of goodness is something that actually exists. You feel very fortunate, very happy.

(8:50) Interviewer asks ZS if he ever lacks confidence; ZS replies that, even now, he’s not very confident:

ZS: Every time I’m on stage I get extremely extremely nervous. I’ll fear that, I won’t live up to the expectations of those who want to listen to me. But I’m slowly learning to- to get along with, to come to terms with this nervousness.

Interviewer: Then this year, you would’ve been so nervous all the time. Have you counted how many performances you had just this year?

ZS: I haven’t counted, but Shengmi, they compiled them all together and, excluding the ones that aren’t aired, there were over a hundred. Every single one of them, I’m behind the scenes like- (*makes loud deep-breathing-for-anxiety-reduction noises*) But I can’t let people see that so- (*dissolves into laughter*)

[kooktaebear]

If Only I Knew

Status: ONGOING (this is my first AU AHHH I’m excited to write the next couple of parts, but I hope this story gets a lot of love :~>)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Y/N abruptly moved to Seoul after spending 21 years living alone in her hometown, Busan after the death of her parents. She now discovers through her best friends that drama can be a lot to handle, but as she starts to meet new people, she discovers that she had completely forgotten an important part of her past.

Warnings: mention of guns, blood and violence,

Genre: angst, WHOLE LOT OF FLUFF, slow burn

Word Count: 3.2k

Part One:

I step out of the bus and a gust of cold wind hits my face as I board the train. Why did I think of not wearing enough layers in the middle of winter? I take my seat and look out the window to see the number of people who are about to board the train. I grab my phone and start listening to ILYSB. I like LANY, their music is perfect for travel.

I know this isn't such an interesting event in my life since I know that many other people have flown to see Seoul, capital of Korea but hey, give me a break. I’m finally going to meet my best friends after living alone for 4 years. This is what pays to be travelling, a provincial girl like me? I doubt I would ever survive the city life.

As a 2 hours pass, I wake up to hear the advisory that I’m about to reach Seoul.

I look out the window, close my eyes, and whisper.  

"Mom, Dad, I made it to Seoul."

I lost both my parents during a hostage that happened in our own home. My mom happened to answer the door and was shot first. The culprit saw me and asked me to go get my dad. At first I was confused, but it so happened that there was an issue with the family business and this guy was after the money. I was 13 at that time but I still couldn't figure out why something like this had to happen to our family. However, as soon as my dad had agreed to the terms of the killer, he pointed his gun at me and pulled the trigger. I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the pain that comes next but instead, I felt warm liquid on my hands and felt something heavy fall on me, it was my dad. I screamed at the sight of both my parents suddenly vanishing from this world, a sudden pain struck my chest and I couldn't breathe. I fall to the ground slowly losing my vision as I see the blue and red lights of police cars approaching my house.

"Miss? Are you okay miss?" the person right next to me calls my attention and brings me back to reality, "Oh, yes I'm fine. Have we arrived?" I look around to see almost everyone out of the train. "Would you need any help getting off? Are you new to the city?" the lady asks me. I shake my head and give her a smile as I head down the aisle to the exit.

I follow the rest of the passengers to exit the station as I turn my phone on to contact Jennie and Lisa, my two best friends. Their parents had offered to get us three an apartment we could all share just so that they could both keep me company. Lisa and Jennie aren't sisters if you were wondering, they just had agreed to live under one roof with me and I'm eternally grateful for that. Not to mention they’re idol trainees.

"Y/N?" I turn my head to see Lisa's straight black hair, "Lisa!!!" We both jump around and giggle, "Wait but where's Jennie?" "Oh, she's getting us another cab because your arrival got delayed." She helps grab my luggage and we both start catching up with each other, as if we’ve never spoken in weeks. This was the first time I had ever seen both Lisa and Jennie in person, all our moms were best friends when they were younger too but since we couldn't visit them often, we met and talked through video calls.

"Well if it isn't our beautiful foreign friend Y/N." I turn around and meet Jennie’s eyes, "JENNIE!!!" I run to hug her and Lisa joins in and I finally don't feel alone anymore. "Girls, the cab is waiting outside, we better hurry." On our way to our new apartment we were all catching up with each other as if we really didn't talk as much already. "Oh hey, Y/N you have to make sure that you're ready to go to school by 7am okay?" Jennie cheerfully said. I was so confused, school started at 8am so why would I have to be ready an hour before school when our place was literally like 10 minutes away. "Wait why do we have to be ready an hour before school? I know our place is like 15 minutes away from school. It's not like you guys take that long to fix yourselves up right?" Lisa and Jennie smiled at me suspiciously, "Well....Y/N you know, you may not know everything about us yet..." "What's there not to know? I've known you guys since the moment I was able to talk." Lisa elbowed me softly, "We’ve got new friends! Like actual men type of friends." My eyes opened wide despite the tiredness I've been experiencing,

How could these two end up befriending guys and just suddenly "forgetting" to tell me about it when they know and are fully aware that we all don’t normally interact with the opposite gender?  

"Fine, I'll be ready by 7am on Monday." I say as I roll my eyes, "YAYYY I'M SO EXCITEDDD!!!" both of them scream.

Ugh, 30 minutes have just passed since I arrived in Seoul and I'm already experiencing stress.

As soon as we got off the cab, both my friends had rushed to bring down all my belongings so that I could finally take a look at the place we rented out. Jennie reaches her hand out to me and in her palm, my key to our place. "Hey, have you guys figured out how we'll be getting to school on Monday?" Jennie giggles, "Y/N, you’re lucky we attend the same school. But the guys will pick us up! Plus..they promised to bring Jungkook." Jennie winks at me and flashes me her brightest smile.

Jungkook? I know I've heard that name somewhere, but I just can't remember where.

"We're here!!" The elevator door opens, "Apartment 735" I mutter to myself. I walk along the brightly lit corridor. "732....733...734..." I continue counting, "735!!" The girls rush to my side, "Y/N, this is your first time in our apartment, so you'll have the honor of opening the door with your key" Lisa says with a smile. I reach out for my keys, close my eyes and take a deep breath before turning the key to unlock the door. I hear the light switch turn on and I open my eyes. The apartment was beautiful. I walk in to see the kitchen, it has a small island where I could serve meals to my friends. I honestly enjoy cooking to relieve myself from whatever stresses me out, whether it be school, people or something about football. I’ve loved sports for as long as I can remember but it gets frustrating since I could be quite competitive.

I walked into the next room and I saw our living room, there was a large L-shaped sofa sitting in front of a huge television. In between the sofa and TV, I saw a small wooden table that is most probably multipurpose as being both a study desk and a place to put our snacks when we binge on shows during our free days. Beside the sofa I see a balcony that showcases a beautiful scenery of the city. I walk out and feel the cold breeze on my cheeks, I look up to the sky and I see that the sky had a welcoming gift for me as well. The stars greeted me as they shined brightly upon the night sky and I just can't help but admire the night sky. To my right, I see a bean bag that fits 2 people. I plop down to the bean bag and stargaze for a while.

Mom? Dad? I know you can hear me, I promise I'll make you proud, I'll succeed here in Seoul and become a great doctor.

"Y/N?" I snap back to reality and see Jennie’s head appear, "You haven't even seen your room yet! Come onnnnn!!" I stand back up and follow the girls in another small hallway, there I see 3 doors. "So basically, it's not that we don't want you to have your own room but we wanted one room to be our sort of walk-in closet because I mean who has not dreamed of having one?" I open the first door I see and the place is indeed full of clothes. There were 3 closets in the room, each of the closet doors have our first name initials on it to indicate who owns which closet. I laugh at my best friends, we all enjoy watching all those Barbie movies where they have spectacular closets and I guess you can say that this is the closest we can get to our childhood dreams.

I walk out of the room and take a few steps into the hallway. Lisa rushes to get past me and hold the doorknob, "Okay Y/N, this room is a little different. I know it's not really our style whatsoever but we created a study room." I scrunch my eyebrows, "A study room? Really now? For all of us or for me?" Lisa tucks a stray hair into her ear, "Well, more for you than for us since we know how hard you work and how much more you'll be working to get into med school. But it's a double purpose for a practice room for us too!" I take a step back to look at both my best friends and their grinning faces,

What did I do to deserve these two psychos in my life?

I call them in for a group hug, "You guys, I know you want to make me feel like there's nothing missing anymore in my life and I love you guys for that. I hope you all still remember I'm not a robot though and even if I'll be working hard to get into med school, I'll still be around to party and experience what any normal teenager should be experiencing." I hear Jennie sniffling at my right, "Aw Jen" I rub her back soothingly, "We know that Y/N, we just want the best for you too. We'll always be here rooting for you any time." We all take a step back, "Okay!" Lisa says, "Guys, it's our first night in our own apartment and we're already crying." Everybody laughs, "So I guess this last room is our room?" "It sure is." Jennie opens the door and I see three twin beds side by side. Just like our "walk-in closet" our first name initials are hanging above our head, brightly lit to recognize who owns which bed. I see my initial on top of the bed that lies in between both Lisa and Jennie's.

I drop my luggage off at our closet area and plop back down into the bean bag on the balcony. I take a deep breath in and close my eyes.

This is the start of my new life.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Take my hands now, you are the cause of my euphoria"

I woke up to the sound of Euphoria, my favorite song in the whole wide-

"WHEN I’M WITH YOU I'M IN UTOPIA"

And of course, the voices of my two best friends singing their hearts out and getting the lyrics messed up.

"Y/N!!! Come on!! It's your first day of school. Did you forget about our breakfast plan?"

Right. Their so-called "breakfast plan" before school. I stand up from my bed and stretch a little before I start making my bed. I stop by the closet first and pick my outfit for today, I pick out a tied crop top, white sneakers, and jeans. I grab my bathrobe and head to the bathroom. I step into the shower and play some music that would help wake me up and get ready for the day. As I continue to wash my hair, I hear a knock on my door, 

"Y/N! Are you done?!!" 

I roll my eyes. Jeez, they finally got themselves guy friends and now they're going crazy about finishing on time. I wrap a towel around my head to dry my hair. I head back to our dressing room and open my luggage. As I look for my blow dryer and straightener, Lisa barges into the room, 

"Y/N Y/L/N, you seem to be too relaxed this morning. You have 30 minutes left to get ready and if you're not ready by then I'm going to drag you to the car." "Don't worry Jen, I'll be done on time. Now can you please stop bothering me so that I can start dressing up?"

I quickly blow dry my hair and put it up in a messy bun. With the remaining time left, this is the best I can do to tame my natural curls. I look at myself in the mirror and check to see if something is missing. I reach out to get my makeup bag and I put on a little blush and add a little lip tint. I search through my accessory bag and look for my small stud earrings. I get my glasses from the table and look at myself in the mirror once more. I'm ready for my first day of school. I leave the dressing room and meet my best friends in our kitchen. 

"Oh my goodness Y/N, let's go! We're already 5 minutes late." I grab the schoolbag I prepared last night before heading to bed and leave the apartment. We head to the basement by elevator since Lisa got her license just recently. "Wait Lisa, if you had your license already by the time you picked me up, why did you guys use a taxi to pick me up?" "Oh, uh..I was too lazy to drive that late at night so I just got us a taxi." She starts the car and we head to the exit.

It was my first time ever seeing Seoul in the morning light, the sun hit the skyscrapers so beautifully that it was as if the city was welcoming me as their new citizen. Numerous cars were already out by the time we hit the road because of the rush hour most of them were experiencing. Our school, Seoul National University was just 10 minutes away, our apartment was located a couple blocks away As I was looking out the window, I saw some sort of diner come into view. It looked huge for my definition of a diner since I always saw diners as small joints made for meals, but this diner was different. As Lisa pulled up in the parking area I could see a little bit of the inside, students like us were dining in there as well and there seemed to be a game room on the other side of the dining area.  It's around mid-February so the breeze was still cool, Busan was a little warmer during the winter so I had to find a way to adjust to the cooler weather in the city. As my friends and I make our way to the entrance, I notice three heads that turn our way. As we enter the diner however, the smell of freshly made bread, waffles, and eggs hits me and I feel my mouth water. I've been starving and I couldn't wait to try whatever the diner had been serving.

I see three boys in a booth and I make eye contact with one of them, the weird thing is...I felt butterflies in my tummy. I've seen those eyes somewhere, he feels familiar which is of course impossible because I've never met these people in my entire life.

I've never had any guy friends at all. I've always thought about making my parents proud and everything so I focused on getting good scores on all my tests so that I could get into med school. This is all so new to me...having friends of the opposite species. I mean okay, I've watched rom-coms and movies that revolve around love, seeing your friends being treated the way I see couples act in the movies is something I never thought I would be interacting with boys at this point of my life.

"Y/N? Earth to Y/N!" I snap back to reality as Jennie calls my attention. "This is Jimin, Taehyung and the guy still sitting in the booth is Jungkook." Jungkook? I think I know a Jungkook from back home but it's still pretty hard to remember a lot of things. "Sorry, I'm being rude." Jungkook stood up and walked to me, "Jungkook." He held out a hand for me to shake, "Y/N." I say in reply. As our hands touch, there's a familiar warmth that gives me goosebumps. I quickly try to mask the reddness in my cheeks. We all take a seat in the booth and based on the impression of these boys, they seem like athletes. "Hey Y/N," Jimin says, "You should try their Bacon and Waffles here. They sell out like crazy in the mornings." I take a quick glance on the menu and scan quickly for the meal Jimin was talking about. I raise my hand excitedly to call in the waitress to take our orders, "1 Bacon and Waffles, 2 Pancakes and, 3 orders of the Waffles and Chicken all with Orange Juice on the side." The waitress says, "Thanks." I give her a smile in return.

I glance back at my friends after giving the waitress the menu I was holding, Jungkook and I make direct eye contact, his big brown doe eyes, another flood of goosebumps crawl on my skin as he turns away to talk to Taehyung. Why is it that Jungkook looks at me as if he’s seen me before?

The waitress returns with the orders and I start to take a bite off my first meal of the day.

“So Y/N, how was your first night in the city?” Taehyung asked as he picked a strawberry off one of the pancakes, “I stayed up in the balcony just looking at the city lights, the stars were very bright last night. I couldn’t stay up for so long though, it got really cold.” “Y/N loves gazing at stars, she used to try to make Jen and I see the stars in Busan every time we video called.” Lisa says giggling, Jimin gasps and turns to point at Jungkook while eating his waffle, “Jungkook used to drag us out of our homes just to meet at a park to stargaze!” Jungkook shyly looks away and takes a sip of his juice, “Yah” he finally speaks, “You make me sound like a really weird kid Hyung” I laugh at his statement, “Don’t be too embarrassed Kook, looking at the stars are my favorite past time” He tenses up with the nickname as he looks at me, I realize I just gave this guy a nickname on the first day we met. Shit. “Uh, is it okay that I call you Kook?” He nods in return as a smile crept onto his face.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[officialwittek]

pt. 1

*gif is not mine*  

word  count: 2,097 

please forgive me if this is rough. i been outta the writing game for a minute. enjoy! 

7:30 am.

The obnoxious ring of my alarm disturbs my peaceful sleep. I groan and move the blankets off my legs, stretching my arms to the ceiling. After my morning stretch I walk to my bathroom and turn the water to the hottest it can go before stripping my pajamas off. I quickly step in the shower, welcoming the warmth on my skin. I let out a sigh as I felt all the tension from my restless night glide down the drain. After a good 15 minutes I finally muster the strength to step out and wrap my towel around myself. I finally dry off and go to my closet to pick out an outfit for the day.

My eyes scan the closet before finally landing on a black pinstripe blazer dress with a zipper slit on the thigh, a thick belt around my waist with a chain in the front, and some knee high boots with black beret. After getting dressed I started on my hair and makeup. I went for a natural but full beat with my favorite pair of falsies and put my hair in a simple French braid down my back. I walked out to meet my roommate Carly.

“Good morning sleeping beauty” I says, she acknowledges me with the wave of her hand and walks back to her room as I smile and start making my matcha latte

I boil some water and grab the oat milk from the fridge. After making my latte I settle on some Oreo cereal for breakfast. I glance up and see my roommate exiting her room, looking ready for the day.

“Whatcha got planned for the day?” Carly asks, I shrug and look at her casually

“I might have a meeting to discuss signing with Arista, and making my own album” I comment casually, watching her eyes widen with excitement

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Is David hiding somewhere with his camera?” Carly replies, I shake my head and watch her eyes fill with excited tears

“Baby!!! We have to tell everyone” she exclaims, I shake my head and cross my arms in an X shape

“We will tell them when I finish the meeting, I don’t wanna jinx myself” I whine, she nods understandingly

“Alright I should get going, let me know where you guys are so we can meet up after. You can ONLY tell Erin. I’ll see you later” I say, grabbing my work bag and keys from the counter

After a nerve wracking drive to the office I finally arrived. I take a deep breath and walk into the building where an assistant meets me. We take the elevator to a conference room.

We finally finished the hour long meeting. I brought a friend, who happened to be a lawyer to look over my contract before signing it. I shook their hands and said we would let them know in a few hours. After our meeting my friend and I headed out to get some boba and take a look at the contract. I quietly drank my black milk tea and sent a few texts to my friends.

“Looks pretty good, initial here and here... ok and just put your signature here” She said, I nodded signing and initialing away

They called the label and let them know we had signed the contract. My friend went and dropped off the contract while I headed to David’s. When I opened the door I noticed almost everyone was here, except for Jeff and Scott. I took my shoes off and quietly headed into the house.

“Soo.. what’s the verdict?” Carly asked, everyone looked to me in confusion

“Signed, and I’ll be starting my music journey with Arista today” I yell, my friends jump up in celebration and crowd around me

“We celebrating tonight bitches” Zane exclaims, and at this point who cares that it’s a Monday morning and they’ll most likely forget tonight

“Make sure you guys invite Jeff, and we’ll get Sage so drunk she can tell HIM how horny he makes her” Carly says, prompting David to take out his camera again and makes Carly repeat it

“God I tell Carly ONE time that I would get Jeff crush my head between his biceps and suddenly I’m being crucified for being horny” I retort, earning loud laughs from everyone else

“Tell David what you told me last night, after seeing Jeff’s insta post” Carly commands with a wide smile, I sigh and look right at David so I’m not looking straight into the camera lens

“Allegedly when I was a little litty last night, I was stalking his instagram and I saw the picture of him spraying water on himself in your merch… and allegedly I said that I would let him knock my cervix into my lungs and I would apologize for simply being too weak to handle it” I whispered, but everyone heard me anyways and as if on cue the devil himself walked in through the front door

“Jeff come listen to this” Jason says, showing the footage he recorded of me saying what I just said, I stood there in shock, Jeff quickly turned to me and smirked

“Come here baby” Jeff says, throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me to a bedroom while our friends laughed

“Finally, I’m getting the dick I deserve” I yell, Jeff puts me down gently after we round the corner

“Also Todd told me we’re celebrating for you, what happened?” He asks, I tell him the news and he lifts me up again

Jeff and I had been close from the minute we met, it really felt like I met my platonic soulmate to be completely honest. We’re always jokingly flirting with each other for the vlogs and if I’m not with the girls I’m usually with Jeff. Although, lately he’s been too busy to hang out or workout together, on the contrary he’s always free for David and the rest of our friends but when I want to hang out one on one there’s always something. It felt nice, just being the two of us. But alas, as soon as he finished the hug he waltzed right back to our other friends.

“Yea I’ve been doing good, how about you?” I mumble to myself, walking back to our friends as we talk about what to do until the rest of our friends are free to go out for the night

Natalie, Zane, David, and I decided to go somewhere and film some stuff and have a little photoshoot while we were at it. We took some videos of us fucking around in the parking lot of some mall. Zane decided to provide some commentary for the vlog as Nat and I took pictures.

“Look at these whores, won’t take no fucking pictures with me. I’m SAgE anD i’M a FaMoUS MuSICiAn, FuCK YALl” Zane yells, I hand my phone to Nat and walk over to David’s Tesla, grabbing the small paintball gun in the trunk

“Fuck with me again little bitch” I said, walking up to him and shooting him two times in the leg with the paintball gun, he cussed me out on the floor while the three of us laughed our asses off

“Alright let’s get going so we can collect everyone before we go out... or we could have it at  David’s house so I don’t have to worry about flashing my ass to random people?” I ask, making puppy eyes at  David as he reluctantly give in

“Fine, but you’re helping clean up after” He says, I nod eagerly as the four of us pile into the Tesla

“I’ll let Suzy and Jonah know, everyone else will probably be at the house anyways” Natalie says, quickly typing on her phone  

We arrive at David’s house as the sun is setting and we start getting ready for everything. Toddy and Jeff go on an alcohol run, while the rest of us started setting everything up. Natalie and Zane go to get more solo cups and some extra things. I’m helping David put away some valuable things while everyone makes the house presentable and work on making it Zane and Heath proof, which could be impossible.

“Can I be in control of the music king?” I ask, David rolls his eyes at the horrible nickname and nods I connect to the speaker while pouring shots for everyone with the alcohol we have at the house

After I was done pouring the shots the ones who went to run errands came back and we all huddled in the kitchen. I put the down the bottle and we all hold our glasses up.

“May we all get absolutely plastered, and some of incredibly high. Maybe both? And may Zane stay away from the hospital for one fucking night, amen” I yell, we all cheers and take shots

After smoking with some of our friends I go back in the house and find it absolutely packed with people. David is multitasking with taking disposables and filming an incredibly drunk Zane and Ilya. And above all the talking and yelling I hear the familiar beat.

‘Do it, baby. Stick it, baby. Move it, baby. Lick it, baby...’

I scream and run to the make shift dance floor, my girls behind me as I start grinding on Corinna as she smacks my ass. I’m screaming the words, someone hands me a drink and I slowly start to feel myself get loose. Everyone making a circle around Corinna, and myself. We switch and I fall on the couch while Corinna gives me a lap dance.

“PUSSY SO GOOD HE GOT MY NAME ON IT” We scream, grabbing each other as  Zane somehow finds himself on my lap too

After the song I make my way to the bar with Zane and Heath, my favorite drinking buddies. After getting a lot more alcohol in me than my entire being can tolerate we go back and start dancing. I was swaying to the music, occasionally dancing with our friends when I feel someone grab me.

“What do you think you’re doing? Shaking your ass for everyone to see” the faint linger of that Staten Island accent makes me smile, but it quickly changes to a frown when my brain registers the words he said

“What do you think Jeffreyyy? I’m-” “Zane what the fuck” I turn and see our friends huddled around the bathroom

“Watch out everyone” Natalie says, backing up and taking a running start towards the door and successfully kicks it down

“Zane why didn’t you say anything? We thought you were dead man” Jeff laughs, I walk into the bathroom and laugh at the sight

After a few more hours the strangers have left the house and our friend group is still going strong. I quietly nurse my water that Jeff forced me to have. David taking some disposables of the rare quiet moment.

“Zane.. I bet you won’t try and fight Jeff right now” I slur, my world still spinning from the poison in my body  

“For what?” Zane replies, I smirk and look at Jeff

“Dude I’ll straight up kiss whoever wins” I say, David immediately bringing his vlog camera out and quickly explaining the situation

“Wait I wanna fucking get in on this” Ilya says, the three of them getting up... well Zane and Ilya could barely stand let alone fight Jeff, the most sober one here

The three of them start pushing each other, I’m a little too drunk to really understand what was going on. Before I know it Jeff had them both on the ground and was declared the winner

“Sageee... you gotta kiss Jeff” David teases, shoving the camera in my face as I chuckle

“Oh y’all know I wanna do more than kiss. Come here dumb bitch” I say, turning around on the couch as Jeff stabilizes me and plants a kiss right on my lips as our friends scream and jump around. I pull away and David turns his camera off for the moment.

“Can I pleasee have more shots.. Zane, Ilya get your dumbasses up we’re getting more drunk so David has content” I yell, the two of them immediately getting off the floor and walking with me to the kitchen

“David, come here I have a secret to tell you” I yell, stumbling over to meet him halfway

“Closer, closer..... I’m so fucked up”

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,916 Words

Summary: Day 1 and 2 of UA. The Battle Trials and the UA press break-in happen.

Warnings: Fighting Mention, Screaming Mention, Injury Mention, Food Mention, Anxiety Mention, Anxiety Attack Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Notes: Shinsou's trial hero costume is a black jumpsuit like Todoroki's second hero costume but with lots of body armor and a bulletproof bodysuit underneath, because he's still training and has never physically trained himself in hazardous situations before. He also has a lot of weapons on his outfit and a capture scarf like Aizawa's and his Artificial Vocal Cords.

Usernames: Existence Is A Prison  Aizawa: feral cat dad, Aoyama: gay salt, Hagakure: ranch flavored jello, Tokoyami: foil-mecha, Shinsou: farmer toshi, Kuroiro: life is a nightmare, Shiozaki: saviour, Tsunotori: schrodinger better run, Honenuki: pure, Monoma: nat20

Aizawa, We Agreed No More Cats: Chapter 2

2:00 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Hagakure: My new outfit is amazing. I'm so happy, Mr. Aizawa, thank you.

Aizawa: No problem. How is training going?

Hagakure: Hey, by chance, what did you tell Midoriya?

Aizawa: I told Midoriya to think of his quirk as an extension of himself and, think of it as a water hose. Just because you have the hose doesn't mean you need it on full blast all the time. He's going to attempt using just percentages of his quirk if he can.

Aizawa: I also told him how to call the match off in case he couldn't use his quirk or if he has panic attack. AllMight should know what he means.

Aizawa: Why, what's happening?

Hagakure: Well, you see, the teams that are currently competing are Midoriya and Uraraka against Iida and Bakugou.

Aizawa: And? Is Bakugou threatening him or something. God, that kid needs therapy.

Hagakure: Actually, no. Bakugou started screaming at Midoriya and stuff. And then Midoriya just snapped and tackled Bakugou onto the ground and has been punching him for the last solid two minutes or so. Pretty sure Midoriya's screaming at him. Something about not needing a quirk to beat him.

Aizawa: Oh wow. I can't say I'm surprised but, jeez, Midoriya.

Hagakure: Oh, looks like Bakugou's been knocked out. Midoriya got him in the capture tape.

Aizawa: I can't say I'm not proud but you can't tell that to Bakugou.

Hagakure: Iida and Uraraka had a big fight for the weapon but Uraraka got Iida to run into a wall and knock himself out! Ooh, looks like I go next. Wish me luck, guys!

Aizawa: Good luck.

2:05 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Aoyama has started a video chat

What are you doing, Aoyama? -Aizawa

Is that Mr. Aizawa? -Unknown

It is, Ashido! I thought he'd like to see Hagakure training. -Aoyama

Why do you have Mr. Aizawa's number, Aoyama? -Unknown

Mr. Aizawa needs to stay in contact with us who live in the dorms so he's in a group chat with us dorm kids. - Aoyama

Aoyama, what's happening on the screen? -Aizawa

[Aoyama shows the screen, which displays Hagakure talking to her partner, Ojiro, before Todoroki and Shoji are allowed into the building. Hagakure suddenly disappears into thin air and Ojiro keeps talking as the entire building is suddenly encased in ice.]

I think they just lost. They're both trapped by the ice. -Aizawa

Wait, look! -Unknown

[the screen shows Todoroki getting restrained by capture tape as Toru becomes semi-visible again and he's officially out of the match.]

That's my girl! -Aizawa

Go, Hagakure! -Tokoyami

[the screen shows Hagakure as she disappears again and Shoji is suddenly captured as he re-enters the building]

Team I is the winner! -Unknown

This is the proudest I've been my whole life. -Aizawa

[Todoroki is thawing the building and Ojiro's feet as Hagakure is smiling and talking to Shoji, while Ojiro comes to make sure she's okay and didn't get hurt]

Aoyama has ended the video chat

Aoyama: Sorry, my phone's about to die. I didn't charge it last night, mon dieu.

Aizawa: You're fine, Aoyama. I'm sure Hagakure will keep me updated when she gets back to her phone.

Hagakure: Next is Tokoyami and Tsu vs Kirishima and Sero.

Aizawa: I'm sure the fight is even. How did you avoid getting frozen to the ground?

Hagakure: My boots sure got frozen but I got myself out of them before my legs got frozen into them.

2:20 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Hagakure: Kirishima and Sero won. Sero tied Tsu and Tokoyami up. while Kirishima went through like a bulldozer for the fake bomb.

2:35 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Hagakure: Can you expel Mineta for being a pervert?

Aizawa: Believe me, I wish I could expel students just for being pervs but, alas, I cannot because that's apparently baseless accusations against his character.

Tokoyami: Can I punch him?

Aizawa: Stop trying to get in trouble, this is the first day of school, kids.

Tokoyami: Fine. But if he pulls something drastic, I'm punching him.

Aizawa: As long as you tell someone to alert a teacher as well.

Hagakure: By the way, Yaoyorozu and Mineta vs Kaminari and Jirou was a tie because Kaminari ended up electrocuting everyone and knocking out everyone in the building while he was trying to get through the barricade Yaoyorozu made.

Aizawa: Of course he did.

2:50 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Hagakure: And Aoyama and Ashido won by surprise attacking Sato and Koda while they were having a miscommunication.

Aizawa: I've never been more proud of my three new children.

Hagakure; Oh god, he's adopting us.

Aizawa: I resent that.

Hagakure: Liar, you like having us around.

Aizawa: I resent that and these claims are unfounded.

Hagakure: I won't stop you if you try to adopt me.

Aizawa: No comment.

4:15 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Shinsou has changed Aizawa's name to feral cat dad

Shinsou has changed Aoyama's name to gay salt

Shinsou has changed Hagakure's name to ranch flavored jello

Shinsou has changed Tokoyami's name to foil-mecha

Shinsou has changed Kuroiro's name to life is a nightmare

Shinsou has changed Shiozaki's name to saviour

Shinsou has changed Tsunotori's name to schrodinger better run

Shinsou has changed Honenuki's name to pure

Shinsou has changed Monoma's name to nat20

feral cat dad: Could you not think of one for yourself, Shinsou?

Shinsou: Yeahhhhh brain no work anymore.

feral cat dad has changed Shinsou's name to farmer toshi

farmer toshi: Why?

feral cat dad: Because everyone knows you have an indoor garden in your dorm room but we don't want to tell you that you can't decorate how you want.

farmer toshi: Fair enough.

8:00 PM

Existence Is A Prison

pure: I made dinner for those still training. Dinner is veggie based bao buns with optional glazed pork belly. Cooked separately for our non-meat-eating roomies. Kageya helped me.

feral cat dad: We're wrapping up and coming back. It'll be around five minutes until we're there.

life is a nightmare: y'all better. Kiyomi worked hard on dinner.

ranch flavored jello: I can't wait.

feral cat dad: @gay salt @ranch flavored jello @foil-mecha Shinsou will be joining our training on Wednesday morning. I'd like to train him with rescue in a controlled environment.

gay salt: Sounds like a plan. I'd love to train with Shinsou.

ranch flavored jello: Welcome to 1-A unofficially, Shinsou!

foil-mecha: Glad to have you with us, Shinsou.

farmer toshi: I'll cry, shut up, all four of you.

feral cat dad: Bold of you to assume that we wouldn't hug you if you cried.

farmer toshi: stop mKing me cry, I cantsee my scren

gay salt: puppy pile on Hitoshi when you all come back.

ranch flavored jello: Already on it.

foil-mecha: I am hugging him as well and so Mr. Aizawa.

gay salt: Doesn't mean moi doesn't want to hug him.

12:14 AM

Exisence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Hey, Mr. Aizawa, do you think I could be a hero?

feral cat dad: I'll grab a comfort cat and come over. Hold on.

farmer toshi: Yes, please, but do you?

feral cat dad: I think you'll be a hero. Honestly, I've hated that entrance exam since I was in it. I was a lot like you and I hope that you'll be a lot like me and be able to transfer up to Class 1-A.

farmer toshi: Thank you. I think I can sleep now.

feral cat dad: I'm still coming over because you still sound like you're crying.

farmer toshi: I'm happy this time.

feral cat dad: God, where are adoption papers when you need them?

2:35 PM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Has anyone seen Shinsou? He's been missing since the press got in.

nat20: I asked my class and Tetsutetsu said he saw someone with purple hair running to hide in a staff room near the cafeteria but he wasn't able to go check on them because the crowd forced him away from the cafeteria.

feral cat dad: Good, Hagakure, you're secretly in charge of 1-A, I'll be back once I get him.

3:30 PM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: I've found our boy. He's okay. He was hiding in a janitor closet having an anxiety attack.

farmer toshi: All the panic and loud noises made me think I was back with the orphanage and the caretaker was going to force me into a muzzle again, sorry if I scared anyone.

feral cat dad: I'm putting in for legal guardianship for you tonight, problem child.

farmer toshi: I'd be glad to call you my father.

8:00 PM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: So turns out that UA having your custody makes my fatherhood of you a twelve hour process, Hitoshi. If I put it in now, you'd be legally mine come tomorrow morning at 8.

farmer toshi: I want to keep my surname though, because I want people to judge me based on my abilities, not yours.

feral cat dad: Fair enough.

gay salt: I support one trashy gremlin man and his tired cryptid son.

8:00 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: It's official, I now own one gay son and the process for one lesbian daughter gets finalized in another 12 hours.

foil-mecha: Hitoshi, we're all very happy for you. Mr. Aizawa, we love your child-hoarding tendencies.

feral cat dad: This one's getting it.

life is a nightmare: Oh god, we're all part of his horde of children.

feral cat dad: Good, good, you've all acknowledged it finally.

nat20: I've had this new father for three days but, if anything happened to him, I'd kill whoever did it so slow and painful that their ancestors would start weeping in agony.

feral cat dad: Very much appreciated, thanks, but no murder or torture.

2:00 PM

Existence Is A Prison

foil-mecha: My outfit? Remarkable. Me changing into it? Absolutely not.

feral cat dad: Tokoyami, you can change in the classroom again today, I'll block the door again.

foil-mecha: Thank you.

feral cat dad: Aoyama, do you feel comfortable changing in the boy room, girls room, or the classroom for changing.

gay salt: I changed in the girl's lockers after they let me explain. We're mint on this end, Dad.

feral cat dad: Okay, good.

farmer toshi: My trial hero outfit is amazing, Dad, thank you.

2:10 PM

Existence Is A Prison

ranch flavored jello: I'm torn between laughing and crying. Bakugou is so offended. Get em, Asui.

feral cat dad: I fully support Asui dragging Bakugou's already broken ego through the mud.

farmer toshi: Guess you could say his personality is explosive.

farmer toshi: His attitude is flashy.

farmer toshi: He's dynamite, if you will.

foil-mecha: Please stop, I'm getting a cramp in my stomach from trying not to laugh.

farmer toshi: He's lit, your honor.

gay salt: I hate you, you gremlin.

farmer toshi: His personality is quite booming.

farmer toshi: He's pretty emotionally eruptive.

farmer toshi: Big stinky boom boom boy got the big mad.

feral cat dad: Petition to refer to Bakugou as Stinky Boom Boom Boy. Any signatures for this petition?

gay salt: Signed.

ranch flavored jello: Take my signature and run with it.

foil-mecha: Signed.

farmer toshi: Hell yeah, sign me up.

feral cat dad: Alright, we're almost there. Look alive, Sunshines.

Taglist: @everythingisstardust 

[technobladetimestamps]

Nov 16 Stream Timestamps

Timestamps from Technoblade’s “THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP)”

Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x

Timestamps with hyperlinks below

02:13  “This is a surprise tool which will help us later” / thumbnail isn’t foreshadowing / video thumbnails have to be big / stream thumbnails can be detailed 05:17  “The traitor is actually Jschlatt” / firework crafting 09:50  “The ratio is impeccable” 13:23  “Dream’s in the game! My audience retention rate” / vc with Tubbo & Quackity / traitor Jschlatt theory / “Are you high?” “A little” 14:47  “You’re a bit of a wildcard” “I am the most consistent character on the entire server” / “What’s this about getting into power” / “We’ll burn this bridge when we get to it” 15:54  “You really are such an English major” / “You’re an idiom” / malaphor / “I’m actually speaking twice as much English as you guys” 18:07  “I think Thunder is overcompensating in the chat” / “Where can you see me” “In my heart” (Karl & Quackity) / Karl not leaving vc 20:33  vc with Niki / “Did Tubbo just leave me? I spaced out for 2 seconds” / “You can’t call everyone the traitor” “I can & will” 22:45  “You know it’s an event when Skeppy’s here” / “You know it’s a big deal when Georgenotfound wakes up” / “Everyone leaves me” 23:31  explaining the traitor thing to Niki / “Maybe I’m a sleeper agent” / had to kill Tubbo 25:03  nothing happened with that creeper / Fundy interrogating Niki / “Why did I train her for MCC” 25:54  “Even YOU’RE leaving me” / sad music / “I’m sitting here with 203k viewers & it’s not enough for any of these streamers to bear talking to me for more than 60 seconds” / Skeppy joins vc to immediately leave 28:50  Karl has a gift for Techno / Karl is just here for the animatic 32:21  “At least the chat won’t leave me” / pays for his music 35:01  “I’m going to destroy the government so bad” / “I hate all of the farming updates on skyblock” 37:45  joining a vc / “I just got stood up in like 4...conversations in rapid succession” / “My new years resolution was to make friends & it’s november & I’ve made zero headway” / Eret switches sides 41:53  Ender chest setup / worried about hotbar management / potions > shields   43:13  vc with allies / “Karl you are literally the biggest third wheel I have ever seen” 45:03  angering the dogs / trident combo 47:13  “D!ck with one ball” (Tubbo) 50:25  “Let’s hope Wil overslept like [George]” 53:09  recruiting Eret / “If you fight on our side we’ll make you the King of Burger King” / “He’ll be an executive citizen” / “I’m surrounded by idiots” 54:58  putting Schlatt on the allies list / “Schlatt is an alcoholic high on protein power” (Fundy) 56:47  can’t trust Eret / “I hate it when you’re right” (Tubbo) / Wilbur joins vc 59:50  having a moment with Hubert / “Not even the mobs like me” / sad music / “I just gained 8k subscribers the sadness is gone” / cow pit exp farm 1:02:57  vc with Niki / “I’m going to join the other vc AHHHHH” 1:05:02  “Once everyone meets up...I have something prepared” / “Technoblade when are you not ready?” “When I joined the server” 1:09:38  “Who do you take me for? Of course I’ve read the Art of War. It’s written by Mozart” / battle planning 1:12:18  “This is the betrayal...happening very slowly” 1:13:35  Pan1 / “This revolution is so doomed” 1:15:29  Dream attack / Quackity dies 1:18:07  “Agree Retweet” / “Violence is the only universal language” / “i have a supply” / “Why do you talk in upwards inflections constantly?” 1:19:57  Techno not getting to talk / “He took it all by force didn’t he” / “Fear into Ear” 1:23:50  Techno telling everyone he has a stash twice / distributing blue / mushroom the fox 1:26:49  Tommy talking over Techno again / “Stop going off on your tangents” “We have food at home” 1:29:30  vault reveal / Tubbo stealing emeralds / secret chest 1:32:40  “Shut up bro you are green as shit” (Tommy) / “Everyone give me back my stuff you don’t deserve it” 1:34:41  no netherite swords / “Who’s the traitor” “Promise we won’t be mad” 1:36:31  battle / Technoblade trident maneuvering / giving rocket launchers to Tubbo & Tommy 1:40:27  killing Karl / Dream bringing out the end crystals / fighting invis Dream / purpled switches sides 1:43:57  Dream wants to talk / 309k / group photos 1:46:08  vc with Dream / “But only if my enemy insists” / in the van with Schlatt / “What are you doing in my drug van? It better not be drugs” / Tommy preparing to shoot Schlatt 1:54:42  “We won” / “We killed an old man with heart problems! It only took 20 of us!” / President Innit / subscribe to Technoblade sign 1:55:57  Dream & Techno talk in chat / Tommy speech / “It was meant to be” / “I don’t think anyone is bowing to Tommyinnit” / “Karl don’t be weird” / Skeppy has a disc 1:59:06  Techno being apprehensive on mute / Tommy makes Wilbur President / “I’ll be the president” “I’m gonna veto that” / “Techno...you’ve taught me that government is not the way to go” / Wilbur makes Tubbo president 2:03:20  “I’m not sure I like where this is going x2” / “I’m not sure this is a good ending” / “Team chaos” “Perhaps” 2:06:20  Techno shoots Tubbo / Philza joins / “You think Schlatt was the cause of your problems? No. It was government” / speech gets interrupted / “The government ends here, I’ll kill it myself!” 2:09:23  Phil kills Wilbur / techno yelling for silence / “Tommy you just did a coup...& instilled yourself as president” 2:12:11  “If you want to be a hero THAN DIE LIKE ONE” / wither spawning / killing his former allies 2:15:09  post fight talks / “There will be no new government today. It will be over my dead body” / “Techno was not the traitor” 2:18:50  “I need to increase the crater that is L’Manberg so that no country can rise in its place” / “Mom says it’s my turn on the flame bow” 2:23:51  “What I’m doing right now is small scale. This is the work of an individual. This is nothing compared to the cruelty governments all around the world [inflict]...systematically” / “Llamas are the primary victims of war” / “I just wanna be apart of the explosion” (George) 2:27:06  Techno joins vc / connor joins the server / “I hope you’re proud of yourself Techno” “I kinda am” / Jack Manifold (Thunder) being broke / netherite armor 2:32:30  “Beach episode” / Techno accidentally joins the L’Manberg vc 2:35:16  the base is compromised / “There’s no way Technoblade would put a clock there if it didn’t mean anything” / got robbed 2:37:37  “If you’re going to ask me how I got all these emerald & arrows that’s a story for another day” / explaining the bedrock / “I can give everyone stuff & it’ll be such a flex” 2:40:24  Greek mythology 2:41:45  The Golden Apple / “They didn’t use discord back then they used skype, so can’t invite Eris” / “Zeus the god of feminism” 2:46:02  Eret recruiting Techno to kill George / joining vc / “Let’s stop him before he gets land” / Awesamdude proposing a fight 2:49:08  “No one can kill me I’m invincible” (logs out) / Dream literally names the turtle potions Sam thinks he hasn’t heard of / “I’m at soup” / “It’s not smack talk he just has that many items” 2:53:06  “Stab him Dream, I’ll shout encouraging words” / Techno fighting Bad & Ant 2:56:23  Dream wins / “I think there was this Dream guy attacking you with some sort of weapon” 3:00:11  turtle potions / Dream hyping up Techno about fighting BBH / Badlands negotiating with George 3:04:34  vc with Philza 3:07:00  spider farm afk’ing / lagging Quackity’s computer 3:09:06  smp earth / Phil only logged on to back Techno up 3:10:32  killing George / “I’m gonna drop his armor off don’t jump me” / not fighting Dream 3:13:00  vc with Karl & Phil / Karl definitely not starting a government / “Chat that was the boring part, don’t leave” / 320k / “Why do we keep scheduling these on Monday?” 3:16:18  “I don’t even want to think about how famous Tommy will be in the future” / “I get a tad bitter” / covid is good for youtubers but obviously bad / “I’m so good at socially distancing” 3:19:51  “Aren’t you tired of being nice Philza? Don’t you just wanna go crazy” / “You should be wary of the old in a profession where people die young” / vc with Eret 3:21:47  “What if you built a slightly larger throne next to it?” /  “How are they paranoid of a mole but the guy with a track record of being a traitor gets no questions asked” 3:25:47  “I’m gonna place a block at the bottom & kill you instantly” / reverse mlg /  emerald rich even with Tubbo’s theft 3:27:57  “I’ll allow it” / upstairs chests robbed / Eret disconnects with the book 3:32:04  armor sabotage bc he thought it’d be 1v5 / crystals are mutually assured destruction / Wilbur afraid of tnt getting blown up early 3:34:11  the diary was actually Eret’s / “He’s gonna tell everyone who I have a crush on. Nooo” / reading the 100 page book / “Can I not win here?” “No” 3:40:14  “This stream has released more serotonin in my brain than the last 6 months combined” / revolution was overcrowded / could improve the crater 2:43:09  “Awkward ten minute period where I’m just sitting there watching them set up a new government but I can’t kill them yet” / Carl is missing 3:44:34  “The one time Technoblade is gonna roleplay & they talk over him” / “CARL” / “As long as Sapnap isn’t the one that took him there’ll still be hope” 3:46:10  “Once you start using end crystals it’s the only pvp that matters & end crystal pvp is so lame” / Webtoons 3:49:10  “What’s going to happen to you & WIlbur now?” “I don’t know, I think I’m chill with Wilbur” / “The only thing that changed is my voice. Zero personal growth” / lines from the first speech that got interrupted / “King George is trending booo” 3:52:00  1 million twitter followers / “O god it’s been four hours...I am not built for this” / did a 13 hour stream once / sub growth goals 3:56:30  “What the heck is Phil watching”

[aer-in-wanderland]

구미호뎐 | 이동욱 Lee Dong Wook VLIVE 2020.11.18 - *VS* Game

In which Lee Dong Wook’s promotional team present him with ridiculous Tale of the Nine Tailed-themed questions to answer (and the occasional embarrassing line to perform). Full transcription below the cut. 

Full Transcript [0:37:41~1:08:30]

Intro

Then, now in earnest we’ll... (breaks down laughing at himself). Don’t I talk a lot? Right? I mean, every week they release a behind the scenes video, right? And in all of them it’s just me talking the whole time. Of course, I really sort of joked around a bit on set. Well, not a bit. I joked around a ton on set, with the staff and the with the other actors, I did have fun playing around a lot and I did that but...I mean I was just talking so much, all by myself [in the BTS]. It was to the extent that I thought, ‘Hey, what’s with this? Is that why I was so exhausted?’ (chuckles). Yes (chuckles more). I’m a chatterbox, a chatterbox, a chatterbox.

Well, in any case, we’ve now had free talk for about 40 minutes (chuckling at himself), so now we’ll start the first activity prepared for me by my promotional team in earnest. 

[Looking to his staff] What might the first activity be? [Staff shoves a box full of folded slips of paper towards him silently]. (Breaks into laughter) [To the staff] Well what is this? [*silence*] (Bursts into a fit of laughter watching the staff) No, it’s not that, it’s just, will you die if you talk here? No, everyone, it’s fine if you talk. Everyone, promotional team... 

[To the viewers again] Right now there are five members of my promotional team in front of me, six including my manager, but they won’t say a single word (laughing), like people who will die if they speak. [To his staff] I just have to pick one? Ah, if I pick one I’ll naturally understand? Understood. Then I’ll, (more laughter). In that case, I’ll pi- (bursts into another fit of laugher). Understood. Then I’ll pick one. 

[Selects a paper] Okay! I picked one. They’re telling me that if I pick one I’ll naturally come to understand, so I picked one. [Holding the paper up] I see, it’s a VS game. 

Q: Who is the strongest whiner? [0:39:48~]

A. Sajang who is whining to give him the Chinese lantern plant - VS - B. Yoo Ri who is whining to save Lee Rang-nim

(Laughing) [To his staff] Yah~ the question is really cute. Did you all prepare this? Oh, I see. This is cute. 

[Re-reads the question] I think, in any case, for this one, I can’t help but think that Sajang who is whining to give him the Chinese lantern plant is the strongest whiner. I mean, as a human being, if you’ve lived for hundreds of years isn’t it enough already? While torturing people, while eating the Chinese lantern plant, do you really have to cling to life? I can’t help but think that... (trails off)

⇒ A

Ah, and Eom Hyo Seob-sunbae who plays Sajang acted together with me in Life [2018], so when I met him again this time I was happy to see him. In Life he was the head of the Cancer Center, and I was a fellow in the Emergency Medical Center, so on set I used to call him ‘Mr. Cancer Center Chief’ (laughing). I would be like, ‘Mr. Cancer Center Chief, you’re here!’ like that. Well, in any case, there was that behind the scenes, a very slight, a very slight TMI.

[Note: Sa-jang-nim is actually just his job title meaning ‘head of a company’ while ‘Am-center-jang-nim’ means ‘head of the Cancer Center.’ LDW was basically using his title from Life instead of his title in TotNT.]

(Clears his throat) Okay then I’ll pick the next one. [Pulls another slip] I’ve picked it. [Spends a second debating where to place the box of questions]. I’ve picked one. 

Q: Which scene was the most moving to Lee Yeon? [0:41:33~]

A. The scene where he saved Ji Ah after he returned in a near-death state from the Knife Mountain Hell - VS -  B. The scene where he went to save Lee Rang who stood on death’s door in the Forest of the Starved

Yah, but for this one, isn’t the question framed wrong? In this case, these kids were the ones who were moved by me, weren’t they? (Laughs) 

[Looking at his staff] No? Oh, talk! Please just talk! (Dies laughing)

[Looks back at the viewers] For this, I would have to ask these two though? I’d have to ask these two, for this one, I think that rather than Lee Yeon being moved, these were scenes where these two were probably moved by Lee Yeon. But in any case, the ending to episode 4 here and the ending of episode [8] where I go to save Rang-ie, they’re both meaningful. They’re iconic scenes that you can’t miss in our drama, they’re precious scenes, so I like both of them. 

⇒ x

[Noting the heart count in the VLIVE app]

[Reading the live chat] I’m not going to call them. Those two are both busy people who each have their own lives so for me to suddenly call them would be an irresponsible thing to do. For today’s VLIVE, please just be satisfied watching me. I’m not going to call Kim Beom-ssi or Jo Bo Ah-ssi. 

Then, moving on to the next question...

Q: If you had to have one as a morning desert, would you choose: [0:43:28~]

A. Meal worms that taste like mint chocolate ice cream - VS - B. Mint chocolate ice cream that tastes like meal worms

If you had to have one as a morning desert, would you choose: ‘meal worms that taste like mint chocolate ice cream’ ‘aish~ (laughing). [Knocks over the white board and fixes it] Okay, ‘mint chocolate flavored meal worms’ or, ‘meal worm flavored mint chocolate ice cream’? (chuckling - 3rd gif). 

[To his staff] Who’s ever tried eating meal worms? What do they even taste like, meal worms?

Ah what’s with this~ How am I supposed to choose one of these? (Ponders the question for a bit) So I’ll choose B. Meal worm-flavored mint chocolate ice cream. (Sighs) Don’t you think it would at least be better to be eating ice cream? Rather than eating insects that taste like mint chocolate, I’ll eat ice cream. (Shaking his head) Ah~ that’s hard. 

⇒ B

[Reading the live chat] Oh, it tastes nutty? Eh? You tried eating it? You’re saying you tried eating meal worms when you were seven? Who would try eating meal worms? There’s a lot of interesting people...

[Selecting another paper] Okay, next. 

Q: If you had to dispose of one of your abilities which would you choose? [0:45:25~]

A. The ability to control nature - VS - B. The teleportation ability to move anywhere in an instant 

Wah~ You can’t miss out on either of them though? Ah~ There’s nothing more appealing than the ability to teleport. Everyone, please think about it. How much time each day do we loose on the road? On our way to school, on our way to work, getting off work, going to cram school. If you save that time, you can get that much more sleep, right? That’s a really big [merit]. And think about it. When coronavirus ends and you can travel abroad again. Then you can use teleportation to go abroad instantly. You don’t have to spend like 14 hours on a plane. 

The ability to control nature, how cool is this? This is really something that not just anybody can do. (Sighs while pondering the question again) Even so, if I had to give up one of them...I would give up my ability to teleport. I would use my ability to control nature and like...make it rain when there’s a drought, or make the rain stop when it rains too much, make the wind blow where there’s need of wind, that’s how I’d like to use my power. That’s what I’d do, yes. 

⇒ B

[Talking to his staff] Oh~ you guys really did a good job coming up with difficult and weird questions. Really, the promotional team’s performance right now is really beyond my expectations. [Looking at a member of his staff] (chuckles) You really don’t ever smile, do you? (Laughing) Okay, continuing on, then... 

Mission: “Don’t fly away. Your puppy will cry.” [0:47:15~]

‘Don’t fly away, your puppy will cry.’ [Looks to his staff] What’s this? You’re telling me to do this? (Looks at the paper for a while) You’re telling me to do this? Ah, this one’s a mission? So there’s not just VS questions, huh? 

[To the viewers] Today, before doing the VLIVE, they told me about this corner and asked if I wanted to see the game ahead of time, and I said ‘I won’t. It’ll be more fun if I’m seeing it for the first time,’ but now I’m wishing I’d looked at it in advance. (Looks at the paper and sighs) 

[To his staff] I have to do this like in the drama, don’t I? Is that right? (Laughs hollowly and puts his head down on the table) Ah~ I’m going crazy, seriously... (Puts his hands up to his face like in the drama but then can’t handle it and puts his head down on the desk again) ‘Aish~

[Softly to his staff] Everyone get out. Everyone go out. I want to be by myself. 

“Don’t fly away, your puppy will cry~” (Performs the line but then can’t take his hands away from his face in embarrassment. Takes a long moment to collect himself) 

(Sits up with his eyes closed) [Staff start clapping] Everyone get out. Leave before I open my eyes. I want to be by myself. If I open my eyes I think I’ll be really embarrassed so leave. (Waits a minute before opening his eyes, sighs, and then turns and calls to his staff). Team Manager, is there any soju? (chuckles) Okay, I understand. 

[To the viewers] Ah, the promotional team really went and prepared a lot of things that I didn’t even imagine. Thanks a lot [said very formally but also without any sincerity whatsoever lol].

Q: If you were to be born again as a human, would you prefer to be: [0:49:25~]

A. A rich unemployed person - VS - B. A civil servant guaranteed employment until retirement

Of course it’s unconditionally A, right! There’s no need to even think this one over. Ah! (covers his mouth) Actually there are a lot of students watching right now. Everyone, you still need to study hard. We can’t be unemployed, right? 

But I’m going with a rich unemployed person. OK. 

⇒ A

Okay, next. [To his staff] I have to do all of these, right? (Answering his own question) Well, because I have to pay respect to the work you put into preparing them...hmmm [To his staff] Team Manager, that soju, can you put it into a water bottle and just... (laughs) Ah, it’s hot~ 

(Opens the next slip of paper and yells in chagrin) Ah, this!

Q: A never-ending battle? [0:50:12~]

A. Amazing Saturday - VS - B. Yoo Quiz

[Note: This question requires context so bear with me or skip to the next one. ;) 

As part of the promotional rounds for TotNT, Lee Dong Wook, Jo Bo Ah, and Kim Beom appeared on Ep.128 of the quiz show, Amazing Saturday. There, they made a bet with the regular cast surrounding one of the quiz answers where whoever lost the bet would have to give a shout out to the other program (so if the TotNT cast won, the Amazing Saturday cast would have to promote the drama on their other variety shows, and if the AS cast won, the TotNT cast would have to reference AS in TotNT). They lost, and Lee Dong Wook promised he would reference AS at some point in an adlib. (This whole segment was actually really great because everyone figured it would be impossible and LDW was just like, ‘Call! I accept the challenge. I can do that.’ You can watch it here from about 5:50~)

LDW upheld his promise in EP05 when Yeon and Ji Ah go drinking and they compare the things they like. When LDW threw out the question he asked, ‘Yoo Quiz (another program that a close friend of his appears on) or Amazing Saturday?’ So then he felt apologetic towards Yoo Quiz and ended up sending them a coffee truck when Gong Yoo (Goblin, 2016) appeared as a guest on the program about a week or so before this VLIVE took place....so even though he’d finally managed to sort everything out, his staff are basically inciting him by asking him to choose again lol]

[Takes a moment before addressing the viewers] Just when I had finally finished all my reparations...(Nodding to himself) Just when I had finished all my reparations another wave is going to happen. (Looks at the paper for a long time) I’d like to appear on both programs sometime. If Amazing Saturday would invite me again, and Yoo Quiz please invite me sometime. I’ll just leave it at that. (Sighs) It’s hard, it’s hard. 

⇒ x

[Takes a moment to drink some water and reiterate the things he wrote on his white board]

[Reading the live chat] Ah, it’s water, it’s water! It’s not soju, it’s not soju. This has been here since earlier. Everyone don’t misunderstand, that’ll be a big problem. There’s no way I’d do a live broadcast while drinking alcohol. Bad things would happen. No, please don’t misunderstand. 

[Reading the live chat] It’s water, it’s water, yes. Please don’t misunderstand. 

[Gives a shout out to the overseas fans and thanks them for the coffee trucks and gifts]

[Reading the live chat] My alcohol tolerance? My alcohol tolerance differs from day to day, but I never drink so much that I’m completely drunk or lose control of myself. I only ever drink enough that I’m still in good possession of myself and able and get home safely. 

Then, continuing on. There are... (counts them) six left. There are six left, so I’ll continue...

[Suddenly thinks of something and looks to his staff] Are there more missions in here? You’re not going to tell me, are you? In any case. Alright. (To himself) How can I avoid picking those? Well, I have to do them all anyway...

(Opens the next one, reads it, and chuckles) [To his staff] You guys are crazy, seriously...

Q: If they were both drowning, who would you save first? [0:53:24~]

A. Ji Ah - VS - B. Shin Joo

If they fell in the water, if they fell in the water....Ah~ So this is how Shin Joo felt yesterday, this is how he felt. Yah~ ‘If they were both drowning, who would you save first, Ji Ah or Shin Joo?’ Ah~ I understand our actor Hwang Hee’s feelings. I understand Shin Joo’s feelings (sighs, then remembers something and chuckles). 

[Note: This question is a reference to an exchange on Instagram. In preparation for an interview with Esquire, Hwang Hee posted on his Instagram inviting people to ask him TotNT-related questions. So Lee Dong Wook (who doesn’t run his own Instagram and isn’t on social media) texted a bunch of questions to Kim Beom and Jo Bo Ah to ask in his place. One question that he had Jo Bo Ah ask was, ‘If Lee Yeon and Yoo Ri were both drowning, who would you save?’ to which Hwang Hee responded, ‘That water, I will drink it all.’ lol] 

[Looking directly at the camera] ‘That water, I will drink it all.’ (breaks into laughter) I’ll drink all of the water...Even if my water consumption goes badly I’ll do my best to save both of them. 

[Reading the live chat] Ah, that’s right! I’m a mountain god so I can just make the wind blow like this and just part the water, I just need to do that. Why didn’t I think of that? As expected, the fans who are posting comments here are much smarter than me. Thank you. 

That’s right. I was a mountain god. But I completely forgot that...

⇒ x

I’m not a really fast swimmer or anything but I’m still decent and I like playing in the water. I mentioned Life briefly earlier as well, but while shooting Life, free... (catches sight of something and starts laughing)

[Holds up a slip of paper with the words ‘Are you angry?’ written on it - lol] I’ve just received this message from my promotional team. No, not at all, what are you saying? I’m not mad. I’m not mad, and we can talk about more detailed things after the broadcast is over. 

[Turns back to the viewers] When I was shooting Life, I learned free diving. I’d dive into about 10m deep water, so I don’t have any big rejection (fear) of water. But the ocean is different. Because the ocean has waves and undertow, you really need to be careful. 

[Reading the live chat] I can’t do the butterfly stroke. The butterfly stroke is diffic-  [Catches sight of the next prompt card and stops speaking mid-sentence. Drops the paper, sits back, and sighs lol]

(Holding the paper up reluctantly for the viewers to see)

Mission: “Part this darkness and lead me to that woman!” [0:55:32~]

(Long sigh)

[To his staff] How did you manage to pick all the most...these sort of lines, everyone? 

(Reads the line out and laughs) You really went and picked just these kinds of lines one after another....I’ll do it standing, I’ll do it standing. Since I’m doing it anyway, I’ll do it standing. 

(Spreads his arms wide and delivers the line like in the drama, then slowly sinks to the floor and makes like he’s going to crawl under the desk)

(Returns to his seat as one staff member starts clapping) [Looking at the person] Don’t clap. That’s more cheeky, don’t clap. Yah, if you’re going to clap you should all have clapped, what’s with just one person clapping? (laughs) Agh~ 

Even so, since today the broadcast was cancelled, even if I’m a bit...embarrassed or whatever, if you can enjoy yourselves, I’m satisfied with that. Yes. (Sighs again) This is definitely going around the internet as gifs, isn’t it? [Lol it definitely did] Yes, well, but in service of alleviating your disappointment at the broadcast being cancelled, I can handle this much. (Nods to himself) Okay, then continuing on...

Q: If you had to wear the same outfit and hairstyle for the rest of your life, would you choose: [0:58:02~]

A. The clothing of a mountain god + dark hair styled with pomade - VS - B. A suit + red and silver long hair 

(Already laughing as he reads the question - gifs 1&2). Hey, this is essentially that right? Either the clothes are the mountain god clothes and the hair is dark and combed back with pomade in a modern style, or wear a suit with the mountain god hair, right? 

[Directing the question to the live chat] Everyone please choose. Which do you think would suit me? What do you think would suit me, everyone please choose for me. Please send me your choice via the chat. I’ll choose whatever you choose. 

Ah, this is really, the balance on this is really no joke. Wah~ This is really hard. Wah~  I mean, wearing a suit with that mountain god hair (breaks down laughing) Ah, how could you live your life like that? (more laughter) Ah, okay, I know. I know that this isn’t for real. And I know that there’s no way it could happen, too. But why do I end up taking it so seriously? Because I can’t help but keep picturing it (laughs). 

[Checks the live chat] Oh? There are a ton of B’s? There are way more B’s than A’s? I see. I understand. In that case, if it ever became like this, if I could only wear one outfit and have one hairstyle for the rest of my life, I would have the suit and the mountain god (breaks into laughter before finishing his sentence) I’ll have the mountain god hair. Yah~ this one...the balance was good. Ah~ of all the questions in this VS game so far I think maybe the balance on this was the best. 

⇒ B

Okay, then continuing on...Everyone, there are still 3 questions left. I have to do three more questions. 

[Takes a water break]

Then I will continue with the game. 

Q: Which term of affection would you prefer to hear from Ji Ah? [1:00:55~]

A. OPPA - VS - B. My puppy

‘What term of affection would you want to hear from Ji Ah? O-P-P-A, VS, my puppy.’ [He literally spells out the word in English here instead of just saying oppa lol]

Hm~ Hm~ [Takes a break to check the chat and reiterates that he’s drinking water and not soju] Please stop chatting that it’s soju. I’m going to get in trouble with Naver. That’d be bad, really bad. It’s water, don’t misunderstand. 

[Returning to the prompt] ‘What term of affection would you want to hear from Ji Ah? O-P-P-A, VS, my puppy.’ Within the drama, Ji Ah has never once called me oppa, right? From the very beginning, she just uses banmal (chuckles) And from the very beginning she says ‘I waited for you (neo)’, right? [Note: ‘neo’ can be a bit rude, or at the very least isn’t polite]. So I think if she called me oppa it would be really awkward. I think, I just want Ji Ah to dote on me. So I’ll pick ‘my puppy.’ Because foxes are canines too. 

⇒ B

Q: What makes you more angry? [1:02:15~]

A. When Imoogi fixates on Ji Ah - VS - B. When Sajang tries to drive a wedge between you and Lee Rang

Ah, okay, things that make Lee Yeon angry, right? ‘What makes Lee Yeon more angry?’ (Reads out the options) Ah~ This one is a bit... the balance doesn’t crumble in this situation. This one is definitely A. 

To be honest, when Sajang tries to drive a wedge between the brothers, because I’m perfectly capable of resolving that myself, and I actually did resolve it in the drama, so that’s not a big problem. Also, I think that Lee Rang isn’t the type to fall for that either... 

But when Imoogi fixates on Ji Ah, at those times, yes, a bit - well, not a bit - I get very angry. 

That’s why, there’s that [scene] in the drama right? Where we’re fighting on the rooftop, and Imoogi says something about Ji Ah so I get angry and say ‘this XX,’ like that. And when he’s got ahold of Ji Ah’s shoulder, I show up and say I’ll break his wrist and such...yes. 

⇒ A

[Reading the live chat] ‘When this is over is the promotional team going to be okay?’ Of course! They’re safe. It’s been amusing for me too. Only one question is left.

[Reading  the live chat] ‘Are you close with Lee Tae Ri-nim?’ Yes, we’re close. All of us actors in Tale of the Nine Tailed are close and doing well. 

[Reading the live chat] ‘If you mess with Ji Ah, Lee Yeon won’t stand for it, right?’ That’s right. 

[Reading the live chat] ‘Long time no see, Lee Yeon’ (quoting Imoogi). Yeah, long time no see~

[redacted]

[Reading from the live chat] ‘I pray that at least one of those is a normal mission’ (laughs) [To his staff] Yah, look at that. Even the fans are telling you they hope it’s a normal mission. Okay, the last mission. [Holds up the empty box and reads off the title] ‘Do You Really Want to See It, Lee Dong Wook’s VLIVE?’, the last mission. Ah! I said mission, but. The last, I’ll now attempt to pick the last VS. It might not be a mission. Okay, what’ll it be? Ta-da! Ah~ it wasn’t a mission.

Q: If you had to experience hell one more time, which would you choose? [1:06:27~]

A. The Knife Mountain Hell full of knives - VS - B. The Forest of the Starved full of agwi?

(Blows out a long breath and contemplates the question for a while) This is hard. Why is this hard, you ask? I had a really really hard time filming both sequences. I went through a lot filming both, and the memories of those times keep flashing across my mind...Even so, I....

[Reading the live chat] ‘This question stresses me out.’ ‘I hate both.’ ‘There’s no end to the Forest of the Starved even if you die, right?’ ‘I really hate the Forest of the Starved.’ You’re right.

[Reading the live chat] ‘The knives hurt don’t they?’ That’s right.

[Reading the live chat] ‘Wah~ Isn’t this too cruel?’ [To his staff] Everyone, isn’t this too cruel, they say.... It’s not?

Okay, If I had to experience one again....I will not go to hell. I won’t choose~ 

⇒ x

Okay, with this, I played the VS game, and the occasional missions hidden in between, that my promotional team put a lot of effort into preparing for us. This was fun. [To his team] You did a really good job choosing the questions (nodding). Thank you all. Thanks (claps). 

~~~

Wow, that was long! If you read this far, thanks for your attention and please consider liking or reblogging to let me know. I also posted a transcription of some of the Q&A that follows this, so please check that out as well if you’re interested. Annyeong~!

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 45

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: please take note that this is mostly a filler chapter, just like chapter 46 and 47 will be. I have everything planned for 48, 49 and 50 tho. and then the story will be over :( if you want anything added to the filler chapters, please message me. tbh i would love you so so much lol! so yea, im super stressed about ending this story, i cant even explain. ALSO: time will pass quicker in the last few chapters so check the dates!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : the 2 requests added will be posted at the bottom of this post to avoid spoilers!!!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 45 : His chapter

NIALL

August 16th, 2018

I didn't know exactly what woke me up but I just turned around in bed, wrapping my arm around Liv's body and moving a bit closer before trying to fall back asleep. Unfortunately, my phone started vibrating on my bedside table and I groaned when I realized I forgot to put it on mute before falling asleep. I couldn't remember how long how making love session had lasted and I couldn't even remember when I actually fell asleep.

I grimaced and sighed before turning around and reaching out for my phone, searching for it with my eyes closed. My fingers finally gripped it and I decided to sit up, rubbing my eyes as I tried to read the message I had received. I noticed Louis' face next to the message and I frowned. It's not that Louis never texted me but I was still surprised to see that notification, especially so early in the morning.

'Had fun last night? 😏' was all he had sent me along with a link.

I turned to look at Olivia who was still deeply asleep, laying on her stomach, with the covers just over her butt and I finally got out of bed slowly and gently, making sure I wouldn't wake her up. I walked to the kitchen, letting out a yawn as I passed my hand in my messy hair, and decided to make coffee as I clicked on the link.

I frowned when I recognize my living room and I saw myself get up from the couch, suddenly realizing it was my instagram live from the night before. i frowned more, wondering why Louis would send me the link since I couldn't remember saying or doing anything remotely bad but when Olivia's legs appeared in the screen, I realized my mistake. I had probably not stopped the live properly and my heart jumped in my chest, trying to remember what exactly we had said and done right after.

I heard my girlfriend tell me I was a good person and groaned low again when I heard myself ask her if it turned her on. No one could see us kiss since the laptop was placed on the coffee table and we were standing up but even if I was whispering, the words "I'm gonna miss you so much." could easily be heard before she replied that she was going to miss me more.

"Fucking hell..." I whispered as I blinked a few times, staring at the screen where we could clearly see me leading Liv in the hall as she stepped back, our lips attached to each other's as we made out.

She hit the wall and we both laughed as I let out a 'clumsy ass!' the way I always did before an 'I love you' escaped my lips. I felt my heart jump in my chest knowing so many people had actually witnessed something so personal and I swallowed before sighed and passing my hand in my hair again. We disappeared from the screen as the sound of a door being closed could be heard and I realized the video lasted 4 more minutes where nothing could be heard or seen. It had probably been about an hour since I started the livestream which was why it finally cut and I put my phone away and closed my eyes, wondering what exactly would be the repercussion of this video. I didn't want to go on twitter to read what people were saying but I knew that I would at least have to tell Liv about it.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and my lips curled slightly when I heard my girlfriend yelled from the bedroom.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

"Okay, she already knows." I whispered to myself, taking a sip from my hot drink and leaning against the counter.

It took her only a few seconds but I saw her appear in front of me, her hair even messier than mine and wearing only my shirt. I wanted to be stressed by all this but when I saw her, my lips curled in a fond smile.

"Did Louis send it to you too?" was the first thing that got out of her mouth and I just nodded before turning around and grabbing a mug to pour her some coffee too. "That's it? That's all I get? A nod?"

I took the time to add sugar and cream in her coffee and finally turned around again to hand it to her. She stared at me for a few seconds before her eyes fell on the mug and she sighed, taking it from my hands.

"Is there anything else to say?" I just asked, shrugging a shoulder. "I mean it's on the internet probably forever and honestly, we've been lucky, especially thinking about all the times we actually just fucked on the couch I mean, this video could be so much worse."

She looked away and her eyebrows raised before she grimaced. "Yea, I guess that's some way to see it." she let out before taking a sip. "I just... Gosh I don't know, I feel violated."

"I'm sorry. Honestly, I feel like shit too. It's my mistake and it's a very bad one." I admitted, raising my nose up. "I'm sorry, petal."

Her eyes met mine and she took a step closer, tilting her chin up to keep her gaze locked with mine. I stared at her back as she blinked a few times and her thin lips curled into a fond smile.

"You're forgiven."

I let my eyes roamed on her face, knowing it was a big thing to be so easily forgiven for something like that, especially that we were both aware she would get a lot of hate because of it. I bent down slightly and let my lips brush against hers before closing my eyes and bringing my hands up to her cheeks to deepen the kiss. When we stopped, she kept hers lips pressed against mine and sighed low.

"I'm gonna turn off my notifications on twitter for a while."

I raised my nose up in a grimace and groaned. "Me too." I kissed her lips again. "We can just ignore the comments together. I promise we'll be fine."

"I know." she whispered, her lips brushing against mine. "I trust you."

I felt something stir in my heart at her words, knowing I had lost her trust last year and I had worked hard to get it back. Still, despite my efforts, she didn't have to give it back to me again, but she had, and I couldn't explain how much it meant to me.

"Thank you, pet."

                                                       ---

August 17th, 2018

I woke up around 10am, knowing I should have been up before. I had a concert on the same night and even if it was barely a two hours ride, we had to get there early to rehearse and make sure everything was in place. I was surprised to realize my girlfriend was not in bed anymore as I reached my arm on the mattress, my hand only meeting the cold sheets of the bed.

Quickly, I opened my eyes, blinking a few times, and stretched before getting up and dressing up. I walked to the kitchen only to see Liv and her lips curled when she saw me. I frowned, still surprised that she was already up, and took the mug she was handing me. I liked this habit that we had to prepare coffee if we were the first one to wake up. We had never talked about it but we just did it naturally and it was one of the many small things that made this whole relationship stronger.

"You're up early." I just pointed out before taking a sip.

"Will you miss me?" she asked quickly, ignoring my comment and making me frown.

"You know I will, petal, why are you asking?" I chuckled, taking a step closer and raising my eyebrows.

The truth was, I didn't want to leave without her but at the same time, I didn't want to force her to come with me. I knew following me on tour was not as fun as it may sound and I also knew she was busy. Of course, the fact that she was done with the season of her show gave her more free time, but the Olivia I discovered after being away from her for over a year was more independent than the Olivia I broke the heart to. She had also been right the last time we had a discussion about being away from each other. She had said it would bring us even closer and stronger together, and it had. We had spent a lot of time texting, facetiming and talking on the phone and I couldn't hide that I had missed her like crazy, but when we finally got to see each other again, it was intense. Besides, nothing would ever stop me from seeing her if at some point, it became too hard to be apart.

"How bad are you going to miss me?" she asked, once again ignoring my question.

"Pet, if I could, I'd put you in my bags and bring you with me."

This answer seemed to satisfy her as her lips curled more and she licked them before putting her mug away. I took a sip in mine but quickly, she grabbed it too and put it next to hers before taking my hand and pulling me with her.

"Are you bringing me in bed for a good fuck or something?"

This time, she laughed and the sound of it made me smile. She brought me to the hall and my lips parted when I saw her luggage in the lobby, laying near the door. I turned to her after a few seconds and she raised her eyebrows.

"If you don't want me to come with you, I'll definitely understand." she just said, shaking her head. "But I've had enough to be away from you. I miss you too much. What do you say?"

I felt my heart jump in my chest and let out a low chuckle before bending down slightly and wrapping my arms right under her butt to lift her up. She let out a short scream and a laugh, making my smile grow.

"Fuck yes!"

"Niall! Put me down! You're gonna hurt yourself!"

I did as she asked and as soon as she was back on her feet, I pushed her against the wall and looked down at her with a smile. She looked up and licked her lips before nibbling on her bottom one, her eyes never leaving mine and a smile still spread on her face.

"I didn't want to force you into coming with me, but fuck, I wanted to ask you to follow me again." I whispered, bending down slightly to brush my nose against hers. "Thank you for coming with me. It makes me so happy, darling."

"I was not sure if you still wanted me to come. I don't want to be annoying, or dependent. I just want to be with you."

My happy smile turned into a fond one. I didn't want her to ever believe she bothered or annoyed me. I was not the kid I used to be when I broke up with her, I didn't see things the same way, and I had learned.

"I always want to be with you. Your presence is a gift for me, I want you to always remember that, okay?" I murmured, feeling my lips brush against hers as I talked. "Don't ever try to be someone else. I love you best when you're just yourself."

She chuckled. "Did you just quote your own song?"

I sent her a smirk and shrugged, my body still pressed on hers. "It's my words, I can use them whenever I want. Besides, I wrote it for you, so."

"Okay but, can I really show you my heart? You promise you won't break it again?"

I rubbed my nose gently and slowly against hers again, making her eyelids flutter slightly.

"I swear." I breathed. "You're everything I want."

                                                   ---

September 12th, 2018

When I walked back in the hotel room after the show, my lips curled when I noticed Liv coming out of the bathroom, her body wrapped in a fluffy white towel. She looked surprised for half a second and finally sent me a smile while tilting her head. I took a few steps closer and placed my hands on her hips but she quickly took a step back and shook her head.

"Nooo, nop!" she let out, making me raise her eyebrows. "You're all sweaty and shit. Take a shower first!"

"I thought seeing me all sweaty made you horny." I argued, my lips curling into a smirk.

"Watching you all wet turns me on too." she admitted, pressing her lips together. "Go shower and I promise to stay naked, deal?"

This time, I smirked even more and waggling my eyebrows, making her laugh. "Can I get a glimpse?" I asked, pulling gently on the top of the towel and letting my gaze drop in her cleavage.

"No!" she argued, slapping my hand slightly and chuckling. "Hurry!"

I groaned and rushed to the bathroom, getting quickly undressed and starting the shower. I let out a sigh as I tilted my chin, feeling the warm water fall in my face and wet my hair. The past months had been exhausting, mentally and physically, but I could actually say that I was in the exact place I wanted to be. I didn't feel this hole inside my chest anymore. Somehow, it was filled with something that I desperately needed without really realizing it. It was not only the love we had for each other that mattered, it was also the friendship, the history, the trust, the hope and the need we felt toward the other... all of this filled everything that needed to be filled. She was my home, and I was hers. I had never felt like that for anyone else in my life.

I quickly got out of the shower and dried my body and hair before wrapping the towel around my waist. When I walked back in the room, my lips parted slightly and I stopped dead in my track. She was laying in bed, on her stomach, her headphones on as she seemed to read something (a book or a magazine, perhaps?), still completely naked. I stared for a few seconds at the back of her head before my eyes moved down to her ass. I didn't know if she did that just to turn me on but it definitely worked. I took the towel off and let it fall next to me before grabbing my cock in my hand and stroking it gently.

She started humming a song low and I was so focused on her naked form that it took me half a minute to realize it was one of mine. It made the left corner of my lips raise up and I let my free hand run down to my balls as I got harder.

Being able to have sex with her every time I came back to the hotel room was one of the perks of having her on tour, along with many others, of course. I normally prefer to be alone but when it came to Olivia, everything seemed different. I didn't feel stuck in this relationship, or smothered by it. I still wanted us to be private and couldn't wait until people would stop mentioning that video or us after my livestream but at the same time, It didn't bother me the way it would have before. After all, I was dating her, and for the very first time in my life, I wanted it to last forever. Just that thought seemed crazy to me and my heart skipped a beat.

I took a step closer to her and without thinking, I straddled her quickly and stared down as I pushed my cock inside her. She tensed and I felt her walls press around the tip of my cock, making me groan.

"Don't move, baby." I whispered before realizing she probably couldn't hear me.

I kept looking down as I slowly pushed myself more inside her until I was balls deep and moaned low. She felt amazing, as she always did, and my whole body started throbbing. I leaned closer to her, holding myself with my hands near her shoulders, and moved my hips back before thrusting in her again.

"F-Fuck."

The way she whimpered made me smile and with one hand, I took her headphones off and it fell off the bed, making a soft sound as it hit the carpet. I bent down slightly and brushed my lips on her ear.

"I don't think what you're reading is as interesting as what I'm doing to you, is it, petal?"

I watched her eyes flutter closed and her lips part before laying on top of her and slipping one  of my arms around her. My hand reached for her neck and I pressed my fingers on her throat as I tried to hold myself with the elbow of my other arm, making sure I didn't crush her or hurt her.

"Is it?" I asked again, a little louder this time.

"Mm, nothing is better than what you're doing to me." she admitted in a whisper, making me smile more.

"How much do you like my cock inside your pretty little cunt, pet?"

She moved her ass up to feel me deeper and I breathed through my teeth at the amazing sensation, remaining motionless for a few seconds. She started wiggling a bit and my grip tightened around her neck.

"So.. so much." she whimpered again, gripping the sheets of the bed with both hands.

"You're so fucking impatient." I whispered with a chuckle, letting go of her throat and sitting back on her legs. "Didn't think I'd find you laying on the bed naked like that, just waiting for me. You have no idea how hard that made me."

I stared down at my cock moving slowly in and out of her as I moved and enjoyed the moans coming out of her mouth every single time I was completely inside her.

"Fuck, Niall, please."

I looked up and grabbed her hair, pulling on it a bit as she let out a louder whimper.

"Fuck, you're so wet." I whispered, gripping her hair tighter. "I want to cum inside you, petal."

I watched her move a bit, her body twisting as she slipped one of her arms under her body to reach for her clit. She rubbed the tip of her fingers on my balls, making me groan, and finally started touching herself, making her ass grind up. I started fucking her harder and faster, in motion with her ass moving up and it only took a minute or two until she started shaking beneath me. The sight was amazing and I groaned as I came too, pushing her hard despite myself in the mattress.

"Jesus Christ." I whispered before going limp on top of her.

I heard her chuckle and my lips curled too as I brushed them on her shoulder. She shivered and I smiled even more when goosebumps appeared on her now damp skin.

"I love having sex with you." she admitted, making me laugh lightly.

"Oh darling, I love having sex with you, too."

I trailed kisses on her neck and shoulder and after a while, I moved next to her, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling. We were on the wrong side of the bed and I felt my heels lean against one of the pillows.

"And I love spending time with you. I love being close to you. I love that you followed me here. I love that you're still my best friend after all this time. I love that we get along so well, that we grew up together, that we're even closer than we used to be." I confessed slowly in a soft tone. "I love that you love me. I love that I love you. I love the team we make. I love you, Olivia."

I turned my head her way and she was staring at her. She seemed on the verge on tears but I knew they were happy tears and I sent her a fond smile before moving on my side to see her better. I brought one of my hands to her cheek and pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"The truth is, I can't wait to marry you, to start a family with you, to grow old with you."

Her eyes roamed on my face and she swallowed hard. We both remained silent for a while and she pressed her lips together. It was so endearing that I smiled more and let my fingertips run on her shoulder and down her sides, until her waist.

"You..." she started, stopping herself again for a few seconds before her eyes met mine. "The first time we dated, it was everything that scared you about our couple. That's why you broke up with me, remember?"

I held my head with my hand, my arm on the mattress, and she moved closer, licking her lips and waiting for my answer. Of course I remembered, how could I not?

"I know." I replied, nodding lightly. "I was a fuckin' idiot. I mean, I still am." I shrugged with a chuckle. "But I'm an idiot who will never make that mistake again. I don't want to be with anyone else. And I don't want to be away from you."

"For someone who supposedly suck at expressing his feelings, you're doing quite well." she pointed out with a big smile.

I laughed too and shrugged again. "I've been thinking about what I was going to say for days." I admitted, glancing away before looking back at her. "I almost wrote a song instead."

"You could have," she whispered, reaching for my hand and squeezing my fingers. "I love hearing you sing."

I smiled again and pulled her closer to me to feel her body against mine. I lied down on my back again and she cuddled my side quickly. We stayed quiet for a while and every time she'd tilt her chin up to kiss mine, it would make me smile. It made me realize I had everything I needed, everything I wanted... I had everything I didn't even know I needed, and didn't even know I wanted.

"Do you still want to elope?" I asked randomly after a while.

"It's still a dream of mine, yea." she replied in a gentle tone. "But I know you'd prefer a normal wedding with our families and friends. I'm okay with that."

"I'm sure we can make a compromise."

She moved her head up to look in my eyes and frowned a bit. "This is... hypothetical, right?"

I let my eyes roam again on her face and something stirred inside me. I had no idea it was possible to love someone so bad. I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much you that you'd be ready to change your life plans for them. But here I was, staring at the only woman I ever fell in love with, knowing that I'd do anything for her, and that I would never stop loving her.

"Of course, we're just talking." I lied, my lips curling more. "So we'd elope and get married in Vegas, and then make a big party with our friends and family. And then what?"

"Honeymoon? If we're not too busy..."

"We'll make time." I replied firmly. "Bali or Bora Bora?"

She laughed and turned to lay on her back, my arm still behind her neck, and she finally shook her head. "I don't care where we go, Niall. As long as I'm with you."

the requests

[lovelylarrie]

my harry miami cancelled show experience:

hello, as y’all may already know, i went to the harry event on friday 01/31/2020 and it was an absolute disaster. hands down one of the worst things recently to happen to me. let me start by saying i have NO hate or anger towards harry, i love him. this was at the fault of the venue and pepsi and everyone coordinating the event.

i arrived in line on wednesday, two days before the event. we slept under a bridge on the streets of miami for two nights. we got there and i was initially number 20 in line (i moved up to 12 because people ended up getting wrist bands and not coming back), a fan organized the line and was really amazing at making sure everything was fair. there was no parking allowed on the island so we had to be dropped off while our friend parked the car in downtown miami.

the first thing that happened that was messed up was on wednesday they released tickets that were significantly cheaper than what we paid. i paid around 300$ (as did everyone else in line) and they dropped the price to 100$ and refused to give us refunds. apparently some people in line were able to get refunds so it was really inconsistent and unfair. i called ticketmaster multiple times and was unable to get my money back.

a few hours before the show they released “rules” which said we could not have portable chargers. it was annoying bc we all had bought them just for the show and they told us literally HOURS before that we couldn’t take them in. also, the venue was JUST BUILT. like we watched them finish building the venue up until the day of the show. there was nowhere for us to call and get information about the show or anything, there wasn’t even a website. so it seemed really unprofessional for them to send out rules and info about the show literally hours before when they should’ve given us more time to prepare.

the day of the show they moved us into an “official” line at like 6pm, the show wasn’t until 8:30 and they didn’t let us in until 8:30.

at 8:30 they let us through and there were like 8-9 security gates. i chose a slow line and the security guy saw i was shaking because all i could see were people that were behind us in line running past me and getting into the pit before me. the security guy literally made me take a deep breath and even more people got ahead of me. i didn’t get barricade but got right behind my friends who were barricade. i was number 12 in line and waited two days and didn’t get barricade lol.

the show took forever to start but finally mark ronson came on and played literally an hour and a half of shitty 2015 songs... he played old town road TWICE. it honestly felt like he was on stage for a decade.

during this people were holding up signs on their phones BEGGING security for water. they took like 10 years to give us water and eventually brought out bottles and we were all sharing and passing around water bottles. security started chucking bottles into the crowd and i was so scared like they almost knocked some people out by hitting them in the head. apparently security was laughing about throwing the water bottles as well. the girl next to me and i started crying bc we didn’t get any water and both felt like we were going to pass out.

after lizzo performed (she was amazing btw) i was about to pass out but they had set up all of harrys stuff and i kept telling myself it’s okay bc he’s gonna be right there i just needed to push through. at midnight we were still waiting for harry but did sing him happy birthday once it hit midnight. at like 12:15 they posted this on the screen:

nobody moved. we thought it was part of harrys set bc we were on an island and haha eroda!!! then a voice came on and said we needed to evacuate bc there was a tropical storm.

finally i decided to leave my place in put and pushed through the crowd and went up to the bar and asked for water bc i was going to pass out. they said they’re not giving out water bc it will “encourage us to stay.” i went into the vip section and scooped up ice and started eating that bc it was my only option and security YELLED AT ME and i snapped and told them i was going to pass out and they snapped back and told me i needed to leave.

the funny thing was, we weren’t allowed to park on the island!!! we had nowhere to go!!! the streets were completely flooded and the venue’s roof was leaking and the front of the venue was starting to flood. and they slowly started barricading us out of the venue. i yelled at security and asked why they were doing this to us and they said it was because it’s “more safe to be outside than inside the venue.” can someone explain to me why they would build a venue that is on an island in MIAMI FLORIDA WHERE IT TROPICAL STORMS WEEKLY and they did not make it safe enough for a storm.

we started walking around outside and realized the uber pick up spot was completely flooded, also uber prices were EXTREMELY HIGH. we walked past an area they had tented off and they were getting all the rich people on busses and bussing them out lol. they were all the famous/rich people who got to stand above the ga section. my friends and i were sobbing walking around the venue trying to find a place to go, we were shivering and people and security were laughing at us for crying.

we eventually got an uber back to our car and on our drive back home we heard about a bus on fire outside the venue?? there was a video so idk what happened but i hope everyone’s okay. we hydroplaned the entire way home and i was genuinely scared for my life.

so yeah that’s my story. fuck the meridian and fuck pepsi for putting everyone in danger and placing us in a venue that could not handle a storm.

i’m okay now. we got refunds but that’s not really the point or what matters. it’s really hard for me to listen to harry because it reminds me of the whole situation. it was genuinely really scary and nobody truly understands how difficult and scary the situation was for everyone involved unless you were there. we have a group chat of everyone there and we’re all supporting eachother through it. i think everyone is okay but still in shock over what happened. being shoved into a storm and flooded streets in miami and not knowing where to go or how to get home or if you were going to get home was so scary. it wasn’t safe to drive but it was our only option.

[hownot2doit]

1

Twenty-ish years before the clinic, a year or two before the Twin Towers fell

Night shift at the factory. I considered myself recovered at this point (which means nothing. By age thirty, de Nile wasn’t just some river in Egypt but my most profound modus operandi.) I truly never expected to live to see 30; when I arrived I had no idea what to do, had made no plans. So there I was in a factory. It was depressing and I ate myself silly, never connecting the dots that my binge eating was no different than anorexia or bulimia – it was just a new, unfamiliar band-aid for the same old wound.

But I did find a friend, there. Around my age, from around my area; we had even hung around some of the same people. For the first time there was someone interested in, at the same time I was willing to talk about, my eating disorder and the month I spent in a hospital ward for treatment. I’d never met anyone so comfortable with, nor so eager for, the most mundane details. That did trigger an instinctual alarm, but even if I’d known to listen, the denial I was in regarding my own eating disorder blinded me to what I was seeing in front of my own eyes: the more I talked, the more she shrank.

I doubted my vision until starvation affected the way she spoke, thought, reacted, communicated, behaved, et cetera, et cetera. By that point her friends were comparing notes trying to tease out the truth to give us direction. For instance: the “ice cream” she claimed (to Friend A) to “pig out on” nightly was (according to Friend B’s peek into her freezer) actually zero-fat, zero-sugar, zero-nutrition, synthetically flavored air called “frozen whipped topping.” On the outside, as a “recovered” eating disorder survivor, I took on the role of expert; calming, explaining and guiding our circle of friends. On the inside I wrecked. I felt left out. I felt tricked (why had I listened to people telling me starving didn’t work? obviously they were wrong, for here she was right in front of me, with the sticks for arms and legs that I coveted, instead of my own squishy, bloated limbs.) While I paid lip-service to health and common sense, my heart condemned my failing, letting myself grow layers upon layers of padding. And I misinterpreted all of my own feelings as competitiveness. What I was able to comprehend was that I could not deal with her anorexia in a healthy way.

I had a coping skill. One. A real one – not one involving my body or what I put in it. (This part usually seems to surprise people, now, knowing only the devolved state I’ve been currently living in.) I could write. I wrote my friend a letter, explaining as kindly and respectfully as I could, my fears for myself and her that led me to give her an ultimatum: get treatment or I cannot be friends with you. Though we were never close, again, she did leave for the nearest eating disorders clinic.

When she returned a few months later, complaining they only ate frozen, microwaved food, I literally did NOT understand. “What do MEAN there’s no stoves?” I asked. There’s no such a thing as a kitchen without a stove. She may as well have said they fed her green eggs and ham. There’s no such thing. So she repeated herself: “There’s no stoves. There are two kitchens and neither one has a stove. It’s all microwaved. There’s, like, dozens of microwaves.” What?! No way! I told our friends not to believe her because no eating disorder treatment center would feed malnourished people that way. Even back then in the late 90s, before nutrition science, as with all other sciences, practically exploded with new and newer discoveries, we were starting to catch on that mass-produced, preprocessed, chemically-preserved-to-withstand-Armaggedon food was detrimental to our general health. So her claim that a group of clinical experts deliberately fed one of the most malnourished populations like that could not be true. I said it was probably a couple of special “challenge” meals that angered her.

I

was

WRONG.

SOOO wrong.

(Though it was 20 more years before I learned HOW wrong I was.)

When she revealed her clinic was in the same city as my hospital program it made me so excited that it startled and scared me. (Yes, my feelings frighten me.) (I’m Super Fun like that.) In the decade since I’d been a patient, there, “Managed Care” happened, and my old hospital program had vanished into thin air (no pun intended.) I automatically assumed her clinic was where my treatment team landed – because it’s not a big big city and – it was the only specialized program in a rather large tristate area. BUT. That immediate hopeful flash of excitement didn’t just scare me, it confused me, because I wasn’t sick, though I was sure I was pretty messed up to be excited about an eating disorders treatment center.

But you see, about that part where I called myself a “recovered” eating disorder survivor? Well, that whole time I had been doing exactly what my friend had been doing. starving. It just didn’t look like it because I was so overweight. We were in different stages of the same disease; a year before, she had looked like me; a year later, I looked like her. But according to the DSM IV (the most current diagnostic tool at the time): a) I was too fat to be anorexic because you had to be at least 15% UNDERweight and I was more than 15% OVERweight b) I didn’t purge at least twice a week for at least 3 months because there was nothing to purge I didn’t look sick like my friend when I ate, either, because I had been sick for so long my eating habits were even weirder. Instead of inhaling buckets of cool, whipped, artificially flavored air, I would eat an entire bag of cheese puffs. All night long. For eight hours. And I would exercise all of the calories off before my next shift/bag. (And for which I suddenly developed a craving until I saw this video that made me retitle this post: https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/a-brief-history-of-the-cheese-curl-junk-foods-happiest-accident

I was not aware of how sick I was or of why I was so desperate to learn where my friend went. I only knew it was imperative I found out and imperative that no one else found out how imperative it was that I found out. Buuuut, not only did I give my friend an ultimatum to enter treatment, then, when she got back, I didn’t believe her. Yeah. She was angry. Also, since I wasn’t sick, it was imperative I didn’t look or sound sick. So, very, very carefully, I tried very hard to inquire as casually as I could, “where, again, did you go, again?”

“River Centre Clinic.” Says she.

“Never heard of it,” says I, very casually shrugging, and shaking my head, trying very hard to feel as cavalier as I was trying to look and sound.

Never forgot it, either.

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

i am ready

already starting out with a bop

yo this is great

also im tapping my foot as a stim bc these are good

facetime with my mom tonight reminds me of like.....pop videos....like pop music videos, im saying it reminds me of “what do you mean” by justin bieber, as it was also shot in a single room

ah yes the butterfly effect

hello socko

socko be spittin’ facts

aw :( poor socko

NSID

if only the companies during pride month said the same lol (some are legit)

“against racism in theory” uh-

yo butterfingers are kinda nasty (to me)

an avocado

A WHITE WOMANS INSTAGRAM OH MY GOD

damn it got real, you good white woman’s instagram owner

a dreamcatcher bought from urban outfitters oml

some ppl can shut the fuck up lol...i cant, i choose not to

for an hour, hell yes

also this lighting is very nice

yo what the fu-

*cries in inception*

him reacting to him reacting (and on and on) glass after glass, i honestly really like how he portrayed that. that’s kinda how it feels when i go on a tangent, and have to pick up the pieces of my original thought, especially if i’ve lost my train of thought.

IVE HEARD TIKTOK AUDIO OF BEZOS AND I OH MY GOD

ITS SO GOOD

this is going on repeat, and i love the meaning

the scream is really good too

im....horny honestly same

you send me a peach....ill send a carrot back...cool cool

we love asking for consent (as should everyone)

sit why do you have a knife

the sexting song reminds me of “orange juice” by melanie martinez

sir why do you have a knife-

*disassociates*

“well well, look who’s inside again, went out to look for a reason to hide again”

i didnt need to be called out

ah yes a wet hair segment

this is so 80s, giving me “holding out for a hero” we love it

bitch im trying to listen, shit ive been complicit, my brain

age is a very scary thing. i feel like a lot of people start throwing others away once they’ve reached a certain age and that isn’t really okay. people should be able to enjoy what they want to enjoy at any age (within reason, of course). the venom that some people face is so....gross. just because they’re in their 30s and enjoy reading fanfics, or making them like??? they arent hurting anyone, mind your fucking business. im honestly happy that a lot of my pals are older on here. i may not know what the fuck they’re talking about sometimes, but there’s still a lot of shared experiences, and things like that.

im absolutely terrified of getting older. i know and understand that i’m young, i’m literally 15 years old, what do i need to be scared of.....a lot. i just dont have a good relationship with death, and sometimes i lie awake at night, thinking about how nothing in life is permanent, besides the life cycle itself. things live, and things die. and i know it happens, i’ve just yet to accept it.

for so long, i’ve wanted to “be a big kid” and do all these different things, but i just...dont know. i feel like my brain is older than my body. and my thoughts, and things i like. it’s really weird. i’ve been told that im “mature for my age” and all that, which i see as a compliment, rather than someone trying to be a predator. which is understandable in both aspects. but i sometimes wonder if i wasnt...me...y’know. if i wasnt mature for my age, and looked a bit younger. (i look young in general, but eh, you get it) i look tired sometimes, (its because i probably am) but it’s odd. anyways, back to me reacting.

turning 30 is a bop

hes not out of touch, it’s honestly fine to not be on social media and shit

yeah, i already disassociate enough, it happens mostly when im listening to music...hmm

2030 i’ll be 40 and kill myself then.......yeah

ME EXPLAINING WHY I SAY WHAT I SAY SO PEOPLE DONT WORRY

dear lord, yeah its too real

i know i dont want to, but i really just....want things to stop sometimes. so i can breathe, and gather my bearings and get through it. things get a lot and i just need a break.

YO WHY DO I RELATE DEAR LORD

i really need help jesus christ

thank you for cleaning me mr burnham

yes i like the show, im not tired of it, its just fine :)

yo he put a whole game in this shit, hell yeah

yeah i want out of the house, but like......AUGH no

why tf is this so accurate

wake up at literally 4 in the afternoon, feeling like a bag of shit (oh no)

if i mentally feel like shit, i cant sleep it off lol, my dreams exhaust me at that point

“could i interest you in everything all of the time” me listening to tunes

THATS WHERE THE MANIACAL LAUGHING SOUND IS FROM AND IT CUTS OFF I DIDNT KNOW THIS INFORMATION

love ur forehead glowstick dude

i like the idea of it being like...contained, but im sure that im losing it because i havent been like...NEAR OTHER PEOPLE. the pandemmie has NOT been great. anyway.

total disassociation, total out your mind, googling derealization, hating what you find

PLEASE THIS IS TOO ACCURATE

aw :(

its 4 in the morning so my hands are gonna be up, and im just looking at him

this is so beautiful

yo he put a “the living tombstone” on that one

him sitting on the chair reminds me of the one scene in “kill your darlings” where the main character has diarrhea, and they’re sitting on a chair bare ass naked (so they dont have to take the pants off, yada yada) while also writing on a typewriter.

yo this was great

okay i admit that i was mad sad earlier, but like....im fine now. and especially not now. i’ve been told not to watch inside when not in a good mental state, and i get it. im fine now, but that was good. i honestly laughed more than anything. i dont feel like crying. it represented a lot of my thoughts and feelings well. i like it.

[spoonfullasugaaa]

Rapper Bae Pt. 2

About 3 months have passed since I’ve seen rapper Bae. It’s now June. I didn’t want to fumble my bag, as he’d been texting me asking when I’d be around. So, three of my good girlfriends and I decided we would go to Atlanta since the pandemic had NYC shut down. A plane was out of the question, so we booked a hotel, rented a car and took turns driving until we got to Georgia.

We finally reached the A, and headed straight to the nail salon. We all got our nails done, and then checked into the hotel. I did not tell Rapper Bae I was coming, so I texted him to let him know I was in his city. He immediately responded and told me to meet him that night as he would be shooting a music video/ having a PH party. I agreed.

So that evening my friends and I get all dressed up and headed out to one of the Lounges for dinner and Hookah. I ended up meeting up with a few other friends from ATL and headed to a next more party-vibe lounge. Around 1am we headed home. I just remembered that I was supposed to meet Rapper Bae so I texted him asking if we should still pull up. He said yes, so I tell my girls “let’s go to this Penthouse party that Rapper Bae is having!”

Do you believe these broads were “TOO TIRED” to go!? I said ... we’re in Atlanta for 3 days we should take every opportunity we can to have a good time we’ll sleep in the AM blah blah blah. Basically these girls refused to go, and let my DRUNK ASS take our rental to the location of the video shoot ALONE. I was mad that they didn’t want to come, but said fuckem, I’m going to see Rapper Bae!

So I turn on my gps and my drunk ass somehow gets to the penthouse. Why i didnt call an uber idk. I call Rapper Bae, and he sends someone down to get me. I get to the PH and there are the camera men again, shooting a whole entire music video. There is an island in the kitchen covered in handguns and ARs. The juxtaposition between the guns, his diamonds and this multi-million dollar penthouse was a sight to see. There were sound engineers, crew, and all types of people buzzing around the place. There was also an entourage I was meeting for the first time, and they behaved like hyenas circling prey when they asked me who I was and where my friends were. This was the first red flag.

So Rapper Bae hugs me and holds me similarly to last time, but I can tell he’s distracted by all the hustle and bustle of the video shoot. I realized there were two camera crews, one filming us for the documentary and one filming the actual video. So I sat down, and helped myself to some Ace of Spades while Rapper Bae went to shoot a scene on the balcony. 30 minutes pass by and I’m already annoyed. There’s a thirsty entourage member there that keeps trying to converse with me while Rapper Bae is outside. He kept looking at me so thirstily and asking about my friends (again). I’m drunk, so I ignored him. 45 minutes have now passed by, and I want some alone time with Rapper Bae.

So I get up from the couch and walk straight out onto the balcony in the middle of the scene. I walked straight up to Rapper Bae while he was shooting and told him I wanted time with him. The camera crew “cut” and Rapper Bae looked at me like he was beyond annoyed. I was wasting their time and money I guess, but idgaf. He told me to “go inside and wait for him.” I continued my drunken tantrum and started pulling at his arm for him to come with me (I know- cringe - but I was drunk). He then told the camera crew that he needed to take 15.

At this point, my spoiled ass is pretty pleased that my drunken tantrum had the desired effect. He comes up behind me and puts his arms around me and kisses me on the neck. He then leads me into this gorgeous master bedroom. We fall on the bed, and start kissing. He stands me up, and we start fucking in front of this floor to ceiling window. All of Buckhead could have seen us fucking that early morning for all I know. The sex was great. I passed out on the bed, and remember him getting into a huge marble shower. When i opened my eyes again, he was fully dressed and walking out of the room, I’m sure to get back to his video shoot.

I was pleased. I fell asleep there, figuring he would wake me up when it was time to leave. Fast-forward to 6:30am. I wake up and Rapper Bae isn’t next to me. I get up and open the door to search the rest of the Penthouse. There is NOBODY there but a sound engineer who is packing the last of his equipment and walking out the door. The PH has been cleaned professionally from top to bottom, as if no one was ever there. Rapper Bae is nowhere to be found.

I quickly get dressed to leave, when my phone gets a text. It’s Rapper Bae. The text tells me to “get out of there” because “something went down” between some guys while I was asleep, and Rapper Bae was rushed out of there by security. He left me there. To get kidnapped, raped or WHATEVER could have happened to a drunk girl in a strange city. It was in this moment i realized i was still drunk as hell and only 3 hours had actually passed since I fell asleep. I was so intoxicated, I could barely use my gps to get back to my hotel.

That was the last time I spoke to Rapper Bae. What he did to me was so fucked up and dangerous. I know I put myself in that situation, but I thought he would protect me. Then I remembered he was just a rapper, and I was just another girl. Despite all the affection he showed there was no apology, so I assume he couldn’t have cared less, and all that shit was fake.

Moral of the story is Do Not Trust Rappers !

[aonrivers]

Pregnancy, Birth, Postpartum, and Baby Time! (TMI warning) - Part 02

In Part 01 I went over the truths about being pregnant. Now that the nine (really ten) months are over... Labor and Postpartum begins.

Labor and Postpartum Truths: 1) Not being able to eat sucks once you're admitted into the hospital. You seriously only get ice water like they say online. So make your last meal one that can hold you out until after birth. 2) Contractions feel like really bad period cramps. I'm sure there's some women who feel them worse, but that's all I got on the topic. I was numb for them most of the time. 3) To induce labor, at least for me, they shoved this "shoelace" thing up my you-know-what. As I said before, I was swollen down there, so any time my cervix was checked I was in a lot of pain, and this thing was no different. 4) Hospital rooms are not quiet. Between hearing everyone outside at the nursing station to the beeping in your room, you also have constant visits from nurses when all you wanna do is rest because you're basically waiting for labor to begin. 5) Water breaking isn't a "oh hey I think I peed myself". No. It's like a queef then GUSH and it doesn't stop until you and your bed are soaked. 6) Catheters are handy when you are bed rest and drinking gallons of water. Also, you get one when you get the epidural. Which they don't really tell you until the epidural is offered. 7) Take the epidural if you don't want to experience a natural and painful birth. I felt no pain leading up to labor. I did however feel a shit ton of pain when the pain relief ran out. They tell you it's because labor is all in your back - this excuse is bullshit. I was in so much pain when that shit wore off that my husband said my labor pain face didn't match this one. Once they take the tube out of your back, the pain fades away. But my back still hurts in that spot even as I type this. The pain in the spine also lingers after giving birth. Almost like you need your back seriously cracked. 8) The epidural needle doesn't really hurt if your pain tolerance is high for stuff like this. It's a pinch. What you do feel that is considered almost like a quick throbbing pain is when the fluid is injected. It's like a small punch to your back. 9) Projectile vomit will most likely occur. All the gallons of water you consumed waiting for labor will come projecting out of you before you go into active labor. Be glad your head doesn't start spinning. I up chucked three times and had to have myself redressed and my bedding changed out. 10) Some labor beds have built in handles to assist with labor. See if yours does. They helped a lot. 11) I tore two tiny spots inside my VJ giving birth. They stick a numbing agent where they see you'll be tearing, so that's cool and all - you'll feel it when you start being mobile again. BTW, some women tear bigger. Luckily my baby was only 7lbs. 12) You may not know your labor doctor. I met mine briefly the day before at my doctor's office, but never before that. Don't feel shy about being exposed in front of them though, they do this for a living. 13) Speaking of being shy. I am a prude with my body. I don't want people checking out my ass or having my nipples poking through my shirt on a cold day but all of this goes out the window when you're in the hospital to give birth and here's why. One: this is the doctor and nurse's job. They see boobs, ass, and vagina every day. And two: you're giving birth - who TF cares what you look like. 14) Pushing a baby out is not like pushing pee out. It's like taking the biggest shit of your life. You push with your asshole. Literally. And it causes hemorrhoids and for your ass to hurt WEEKS after giving birth. (Do yourself a favor and get some fiber enriched foods because pooping is not easy it pain free.) 15) Those home videos of the women giving birth don't exist anymore. It's pretty much illegal. I guess people were blackmailing the mother. Idk. That's what my nurse said. But they give you a big ass mirror to watch the birth of your baby so that's really cool. 16) Hospitals offer photographs of your newborn (unless you gave birth in 2020). It's usually expensive and I would've done it too if they offered. My husband got amazing shots of our daughter which I cropped out to make that oval baby picture our parents in the 80s got. 17) Taking pictures of your baby in the nursery is a big no no. I wish I could've seen my baby under the UV lamp with her glasses on to fix her jaundice, but I was bedridden with the pre-eclampsia. Hubby saw her though. He says she was just chilling while all the other babies were crying their heads off. FYI, the reason you can't take pictures is because of the other babies in there. They're not yours. You don't have the right to photograph them even if your baby is mixed in and she's the only one you want the picture of. 18) I wasn't told this until it came time... But they push your belly and I mean in your belly button and hard. They check if your uterus is shrinking and returning in place. (Breastfeeding helps it go faster.) This pushing hurts like a mofo. Seriously. And they don't care if you're in pain from, oh idk - THE EPIDURAL WEARING OFF! They are required to check. 19) My friend told me this which I think is important to know... When you're doped up on pain meds before birth or if you're having a really hard time during the labor process (time  you entered hospital to when the baby pops out), have someone with you. Have that person listen to the words coming out of the doctor and nurse's mouths. My friend didn't and took meds they gave her and was devastated when her baby came out gray and on the edge of death. She didn't know what they gave her or what they said about the meds. If she did, she would've known this would be the outcome of her child's birth (baby lived btw. He just graduated high school last year!) 20) Labor and Delivery nurses are freaking awesome. Postpartum nurses not so much... 21) The hospital food really isn't that bad. At least, it wasn't where I stayed. I had choices for breakfast, lunch, and dinner too! 22) Nurses can't technically tell you no to taking the baby to the nursery. Yes you need bonding time with your baby, but you also need rest. 23) The chair that pulls out into a bed for your partner is uncomfortable af. They have cots. Ask for one. 24) I couldn't have visitors. Make sure you don't either. It's nice. You don't gotta worry about appearance or staying awake for your guest. Birth is about you and your baby (and partner) and the time you have with them. Your guest can wait till you get home. 25) Back to the heartburn and hairy babies talk. This isn't really a myth. My baby came out with a full head of hair, hair on her ears, and fuzz all over her shoulders and back. At a month old it's going away, but that head of hair is real. And so was that heartburn!! 26) Bleeding after birth is like having your period back, but it goes on and on. It changes colors and has a gross smell to it. And wearing a pad again SUCKS! I do have to say though... That mesh underwear they give you is freaking awesome. I want some for my daily wear. 27) For a week or two, I felt like I was punched in the cooch. Walking hurt, getting up hurt, even bathing hurt (no baths until you heal btw, so I showered). Even now, a month later, I still feel pain down there when sitting a certain way (like Indian style). But what do I expect? A freaking baby was pushed out of me!! 28) After the six week heal time is up, don't expect sex to go back to normal. It still hurts for me but this time because of the bruising and stitches. 29) When it's time for sex, lube up. Breastfeeding and hormones still rampant don't assist in easy glide ins (if you know what I mean). 30) When the milk comes in, your boobs get bigger, harder, and start to ache. Feed feed feed or feed and pump. It's the only way to fix it. And don't be surprised when you wake up and your bed is stained with milk puddles because you're still sleeping naked to easily feed your little one at night. My side of the bed is disgusting, but ce la vie! It comes with the territory (like lack of sleep). 31) Also, sleeping on your side with milk filled boobs is not easy. It hurts. Go back to sleeping on your back because belly sleeping isn't comfortable either. 32) Everything you buy or received for your baby screams suffocation with it's warning labels. Don't let it get you paranoid like it did for me. Learn your babies habits and go with your instincts. They also sell baby breathing monitors that alert you if the baby stops breathing. 33) Outfits are cute and irresistible, but try to resist buying those newborn clothes. My baby grew out of them all within three weeks and wore only half of the clothes we had. Also, buy larger clothes - season conscious - that way you're ready when the baby starts growing out of their clothes. We had hardly any 3 month PJs, now her closet is over packed... 34) The baby may not sleep in their crib or bassinet right away. My girl would rather be on me or my husband than a cold bed. Seriously. They want your baby sleeping with nothing but a fitted mattress that's cold and a swaddle or wearable blanket. My baby hates swaddles and kicked too much with the wearable blanket. She sleeps with me for easy feeding and comfort - for me and her. I don't sleep much but slowly I've been getting my Z's and during the day I put her in the bassinet on her belly because I can watch her and she's amazing with that head support already. When she doesn't feed every 2-3 hours, she'll be spending more time on her own in her bed. So don't be discouraged if it's not working for you. It will happen. Just takes time. 35) Sound machine was a waste of a gift. Our phones have sound effects we can tune into. Google Home and Alexa even offer it. My baby doesn't like it, she'd rather listen to us or the TV. Also she doesn't like the dark until she's actually sleeping. She loves bright lights. They tell you the opposite online. 36) If your boobs are small, don't bother getting the shirts where you pull your boob through a window because it won't work. The shirts with the clip that drops to expose the breast are the best. Amazon has great prices and quality shirts on this. My one from Kohl's broke after wearing four times. 37) I really don't think those smiles are gas like they claim it to be. Sure some are. But when your kid smiles without passing gas, they're smiling because they're happy/content. 38) You'll probably end up missing your belly bump the first few weeks like I did. I kept thinking she was still in there. I mean, it's nine months carrying a creature in you. You get used to it. And lastly... 35) You get what you wished for. Any time I talked about having babies, I said keywords on what I wanted: a beautiful, healthy, happy, and smart baby. And I got just that. === So there it is. My journey, my tips, and my nitty gritty of it all of just pregnancy, labor, and postpartum alone!! There is so much more to being a mother; and that will continue in my part 03,04,05,etc to come. IDK how many there will be, only time will tell.

I will continue to update Part 01 and Part 02 when I remember more things.

As Part 03 is conjuring, I would like to say congrats if you're pregnant or gave birth already; and good luck if you're trying.

[omoi-no-hoka]

How to Choose Japanese Manga/Books for Studying

In an ask recently, a user asked me what reading materials I recommend to study with. 

I’ve covered the standard textbooks here, and today I’ll talk about how you can determine whether an authentic material is suitable for your studies. All of this advice is based upon my studies in SLA (Second Language Acquisition) and TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages), as well as my personal experience learning Japanese. 

What’s an Authentic Material?

Authentic materials are print, video, and audio that are not classroom materials, but are things made for Japanese (or any other target language) speakers. A mock advertisement in your textbook is not an authentic material because it is not made for a Japanese person, but an actual Help Wanted ad in a Japanese newspaper is an authentic material.

Authentic materials can be just about anything audio or visual. Manga, light novels, newspapers, magazines, jpop songs, anime, news broadcast, etc. 

Today I’m just going to focus on visual authentic materials, but if there’s interest I could make a future post about audio materials too. 

1. Decide Your Method of Reading: Intensive or Extensive

When reading to study a foreign language, there are two different ways to go about it, intensive reading or extensive reading.

Intensive Reading 

Reading and looking up every single word you do not know, even words that aren’t essential to understanding the main points of the story. 

Pros: you learn a lot more vocab

Cons: it takes considerably longer to make progress

In order to do this method effectively (and by effectively I mean “resist chucking your book out the window in a fit of rage”), you must comprehend ~70%* of the content.

Extensive Reading 

Basically what you do when you read in your native language. You read each page, and even if you come across a word you don’t know, you keep going. You only look up words that keep coming up, or that hinder your overall comprehension of what’s going on. 

Pros: you cover more ground and get a bigger sense of accomplishment

Cons: you can miss out on smaller details

In order to do this method effectively, you must comprehend ~90% of the content.

Neither reading method is better than the other. Choose which style suits your personality best. Personally, I’m one of those people that has to know every last morsel about everything, so I only do intensive reading. 

2. Determine How Difficult a Material Is

Up above I said you had to be able to comprehend either 70 or 90 percent of the content depending on the method you want to go with.

In extensive reading, you need to be able to understand almost all the words because you can’t stop to look up a ton of stuff. If you have to look up 15 words on a page because you can’t understand what’s going on, you’re not doing extensive reading--you’re doing intensive reading. 

Now, as for the 70% I put on the intensive reading, there’s a bit of give with that, depending on how patient you are haha. If you’re okay with a crawling pace, the comprehension could be 10% if you want. But if you’re like me and you’re a bit hasty, you’re going to want to be able to comprehend around 70-80% of the vocab. 

So how do you figure out how difficult the content is? Pick a random page and the first 100 words on it, and count the words you didn’t know. Subtract the words you didn’t know from 100, and the answer will tell you roughly how much you can comprehend of the text. Easy, right? 

3. What Makes a Bad Material

I’m betting that anime/manga is what got most of us interested in learning Japanese, and there’s probably that one really nostalgic manga you’re dying to read in its original Japanese format.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but just because you love a series doesn’t make it a good learning material. 

Things to Avoid in a Material

Lots of technical, scientific, or military jargon

I know that this wipes out a large swath of series, but the point of reading this is to learn Japanese, and there’s a good chance that most of the vocab you would learn would not be usable in conversation. Why waste the time learning 白刃取り (catching a blade between two palms) when you could be learning something more practical? 

Period works (Edo Era and further back)

Many (but not all) period pieces contain a bunch of obsolete words, and the last thing you want to be is one of those gaijin that uses “gozaru” unironically. I tried using the expression 村八分 (ostracism) and got laughed at by my coworkers just last month because that just makes people think of villages in the Edo period.

Long Chapters

Particularly if you’re doing the Intensive Reading method, it’s important to give yourself a sense of accomplishment. It took me an hour to read one page of a book for one of my classes, and 30 hours to read ONE chapter. It was the most frustrating and endless experience I’ve had to date. Pick manga (because chapters are short) or short stories. (I really recommend Hoshi Shinichi’s “short-short” stories.)

Don’t be like poor Kagome

4. What Makes a Good Material

I have saved the most important condition for your material until last. 

Are you ready?

Here it is:

Make sure it’s something you like!

I know that this is so basic I shouldn’t even have to say it. But listen, for one of my Japanese courses in uni, I had a semester to read one of Haruki Murakami’s novellas. It was the most difficult and frustrating semester I had because not only was it super hard for me vocab-wise, it was boring as hell. I didn’t enjoy the story, and the ending was so

alskfjksldfjsd

It’s been 6 years and I’m still triggered. It was awful, and it made me feel like all of this toil, all of this suffering, had been for nothing. I thought that I hated reading in Japanese. But actually, when I pushed myself to try reading a manga I liked, I learned that I didn’t hate reading Japanese--

--I just hated reading Murakami.

If you find a material that is the right difficulty level and is appropriate for your purposes but you don’t find it interesting, it’s likely that you’ll get bored of it and quit halfway through. But if you like a material enough, even if it is too difficult for your current level, your love for it can give you the extra boost of motivation you need to push through it. 

My favorite manga series of all time is Rurouni Kenshin. It was the first anime I ever watched, and it kinda started me down the road I’m on. So I decided to read the manga, and oh man is it a chore. I’ve read 14 volumes and have looked up 1,577 words as of today. It has a bunch of obsolete Japanese, it has so many sword words holy bejeezus (this is where I learned 白刃取り, btw), and it can take me hours to get through a chapter sometimes. 

But I love that series with everything I am, so I don’t care how long it takes. 

Really, what matters more than anything is that it’s something you are really invested and interested in.

5. How Soon Can I Start Reading Authentic Materials?

Did you know that the average native Japanese person cannot read a newspaper until they are a freshman in high school? That is how hard Japanese is. For the native speakers.

I hate to be a Debbie Downer here, but I would recommend you wait to use most authentic materials until you are N3 or N2. I finally began feeling comfortable reading stuff in Japanese around when I passed the N2. I understand that Chi’s Sweet Home is popular for beginners, so that isn’t to say that there are no authentic materials to be found for new learners, but they are very hard to find. 

But hey, if you are determined enough, there is nothing that can stop you from reading what you love, and nothing worth having is easily won. Ganbatte!