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#i literally thought 'well shit' to myself
liloinkoink · 2 days
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hey guys, someone just sent me a weird ass ask claiming my incredibly close friend cherri @cherrifire secretly hate me and is talking abt me behind my back. i was not the only person to get one of these identical slanderous asks. i’ve already blocked the anon but like. open letter to them, and for the benefit of anyone else who gets an ask like this….
1) anon, you’re genuinely fucking stupid
2) hysterical to send this when i was actively chatting w her, while we were in the process of fleshing out yet another renchanting au, something we have done all day every day for… gosh, how long has it been now? nearly two years? i would say that it was really bad timing to send this ask to me while i was actively chatting aus w her but there really isn’t any moment you could have sent this that i wouldn’t have been.
3) if you thought i wasn’t gonna call bullshit and snitch immediately you don’t know shit about me or cherri, which, granted, is evident by the ask in general, but you really are stupid
4) if a gc like this existed—which it does not, bc cherri is not like this and would not do this—i would be in it. this idiot doesn’t even know im cherri’s emotional support writer. do you have any idea how many gcs and servers she’s dragged me into w her.
5) get your facts right cherri talks shit about me to my face. this is mutual. fake ass fan. if you were a real cherri friend you would know this smh
6) no, actually, you’re right, she definitely hates me. that’s why i met her irl literally like 3 months ago on her invitation, we hung out for a genuine week, spent basically the whole time arm in arm or hand in hand. this is also why we were planning a second meetup last night. you idiot. you fool. you complete and utter moron
anyway, if anyone gets this ask:
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it’s complete bullshit. theyre sending this to cherri’s best friends for some godforsaken reason. it’s very weird and deeply cringe. also incredibly poorly planned. idk how many ppl you sent this to, but a few of us are in a gc and we have been making fun of this ask for like an hour (anon, im one of cherri’s friends and she’s been telling a small group of friends about you— lol. lmao even)
anyway like. to reiterate. cherri’s one of my best friends, she’s absolutely lovely and i’m lucky every day to know her. we hang out and chat constantly and we’ve met irl and it was an incredible experience i would love to repeat. i have told her things i have not fuckin told anyone else and you could not otherwise waterboard out of me. i love talking to her all the time and i miss her when she’s busy for even like, an hour. i love writing w her and creating things w her. she’s an incredibly bright spot in my life, often the first person i think of upon waking and the last i think of before i sleep. she is kind and funny and i love her a lot.
i’m a bitch tho so like @ this anon go fuck yourself. you better hope that when you die that the devil finds you before i do. sending this ask to a bunch of our friends, trying to turn the people she cares about against her, and for what? you clearly don’t know her well enough to be talking like this. trying to ruin my friend’s reputation and friendships w a vague as hell and entirely baseless copy paste is super fucking weird. why would you do this? and like, do you think we were born yesterday to fall for this? i’m insulted for her for whatever it was you were trying to pull and i’m insulted on behalf of myself and everyone else you sent this to that you think we’re as stupid as you are. what is your damage. get a hobby.
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demodraws0606 · 3 days
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My thoughts on the latest episode (aka HU IS THE CULPRIT I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL)
Warning : My sassy attitude is not directed towards anyone else, I'm simply amusing myself and also I've only gotten barely 5 hours of sleep god save me.
This is gonna be very long and messy so strap in folks
It's so obviously not Eden or Ace it's painful (idc 'i'll die for my hubris). Not even just because Eden lying and being the culprit after all of that would be both underwelming and just...miserable. But also because of how the way we're getting the reveal in advance that it could only be Ace and Eden. The fact the cast was already on Eden's throat as well just makes this point even more clear to me.
This isn't like fucking Korekiyo in chapter 3 of DRV3, this isn't how a culprit reveal happens. Especially not when there's so much we don't know yet.
So who is the culprit ?
...
It's Hu, it's literally Hu.... and like 1 pourcent chance it's Nico but I think both of them are accomplices here.
The thing is, I don't buy any of the shit Nico is saying, their admission of guilt is strangely quick and detached. They also seem to go along with anything people say about them (like them framing Hu) which makes it even more suspicious, they could've just said they used Hu's weapon out of conveniance ? The only thing this episode has proved me is that Nico is an Active accomplice rather than a Passive one like I thought. For what reason ? I honestly don't know fully yet but again we don't know a lot about Nico anyways.
Hu's behavior really makes me think she did it and is acting out, mostly out of guilt. She seems really stressed this trial which while makes sense for character reasons, it also makes sense if she's the culprit and feeling guilty. It would explain her defending Eden and Nico mainly I think despite her probably being the culprit she doesn't want the perception that Eden/Nico has to be broken (especially not bc of her). I've already explained how Hu being the culprit makes sense from a character perspective so I'm not gonna get more into it.
By the way any arguments in this post being like "it would be out of character for Nico or Hu to do that" should honestly review their own hypocrisy if they think Eden did it, or even Ace for that matter.
Another thing that makes me even more convinced that it can't be Ace or Eden is that...you can't fucking prove any of them did it with 100 pourcent certainty. David fucking threw the BDA rule out of the window, so we can't be sure Eden didn't do it but like what decisive evidence would make it clear between the two of them.
The only pieces of evidence we have left is :
-The sticky ball of clothes (most likely turpentine because the soil of the relexation room would cause the ball to have stains on it)
-The alibi for the relaxation room water
-The missing glove (which I think i've changed my opinion on what it could mean here)
Eden did know about the ball of clothes (but that piece of fucking evidence has strings attached so we'll get to that) and Ace doesn't have an alibi against taking the water like Eden does.
The missing glove is the only evidence left untouched here and honestly I actually don't think it had anything to do with the glove having someone's hair or anything, mainly because first of all the culprit could've technically just removed any hair on the glove even if it was sticky.
And also there's something else that makes more sense.
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I think they probably had to use the glove to avoid rope burn while trying to set up the mechanism to kill Arei. Especially with how high the playground's ceilling is, it wouldn't be child's play. I'm not really good at deciphering what could've possibly happenened directly in the murder but I'd argue it's just more likely that the culprit would be put in a situation were rope burn could happen. This murder set up would require a lot of physical effort, and if the culprit even slipped for a second their hands would end up being damaged from rope burn making them obviously look guilty (also ouchie), which I think is what happened.
It would also explain the scuffs on the floor, maybe the culprit was struggling to hold onto the rope leading to them causing marks with their feet while trying to pull on the rope.
The reason why I think the glove is missing is probably because it's damaged and the culprit wanted to avoid the cast knowing they used Arei's glove during the murder. In fact it's the only piece of evidence that is completely missing
But why ?
Has anyone realised something about, I argue, the three other main suspects here ?
Nico, Eden, Ace ?
They all have gloves.
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"But a huge portion of the cast has gloves this doesn't mean anything, it's just a stylistic choice !!" Yeah, the majority of the cast has gloves.
I think now you can understand why the culprit wouldn't want the cast to know that the glove was used. Because if the cast did see the glove that was probably damaged, they would assume the culprit wore it and it would narrow down the suspect list to an extremely narrow pool. This forces them to basically take the glove and hope to fucking god the cast doesn't catch on which they clearly haven't yet.
You know who doesn't fucking wear gloves.
HU JING
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My girl got no gloves on !!!!
So yeah, with the glove being untouched evidence yet I think it will be the main decisive thing to point out who the culprit truly is, and I just don't think it's just gonna be like "oh let's just search everyone to see which one has the glove !". For all we know the culprit could've fucking eaten the glove, I don't think we're getting another Min in trying to search shit on people's person.
Anyways I'm gonna transition to other stuff to explain how the Nico and Hu theory makes sense from a logical standpoint here.
Let's get on to the sticky ball of clothes.
First I want to get it out there that I do not think the ball being sticky is due to the soil of the relaxation room. Mono-TV's talk about the "special formula" was mostly to foreshadow the floor of the playground's properties, also the fucking ball would have stains on it.
For me this means the ball of clothes has to have been covered in turpentine especially now that we have confirmation from Ace directly.
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This is extremely huge and I'm flabbergasted has no one has mentioned this. Pray tell where the fuck did that piece of cloth go, did it get isekai'd into another world ?
This question actually has multiple meaning here because that fucking ball of clothing actually has massive implications. It confirms a lot of things and also puts a lot of doubt in things that seemed to be confirmed.
Before that I also want to say that Arei 100 pourcent got knocked out with turpentine. I don't want to argue over and over again that it was used because I've done this before but I have to since there are multiple reasons why she had to have been knocked out.
The floor is extremely prone to scuffs, if Arei was struggling then we definitely would've seen more than just a few marks in one area.
The method of murder would have been extremely difficult if she was struggling, like to a ridiculous point. Especially with someone like Arei who has been shown to have been sneaky and very prone to attacking people in their weak spots.
The tape binding Arei's hand in hindsight actually probably wasn't to avoid her struggling, it was most likely due to how the mechanism of the murder work. Keep in mind how the murder had to have worked and imagine if Arei's hands were just loose and flopping around. There could have been possible injuries with her arms that would ruin the culprit's obvious plan to make it look like a suicide. It also just makes sense for weight reasons, again Arei having her arms flopping around would make moving her body even more difficult.
And even if you want disagree with all of that, the culprit could've just binded her tape to avoid the same mistake that happened with Ace with him waking up from the turpentine.
Now that I've made my case about Arei being knocked out, let's get on the actual new arguments I want to make.
First, we know for a fact that a piece of cloth was used to knock out Ace meaning it has to have gone somewhere, if you say "well they could've just thrown it away" I will personally come into your home and shit in your shoes. And you're also wrong because I've already proven that Arei had to have been knocked out.
This means the only piece of cloth available to us would be the sticky ball of clothes.
But...like let me just explain everything that's mind boggling about all of this.
-This ball of clothes had to have been made for Ace's murder to knock him out
-The only people who knew about the old clothes were Hu, Teruko and Whit. Eden only knowing later on, way after Ace's murder was planned probably, because Hu told her about it.
-The culprit used this ball of clothing against both Arei and Ace
-The cloth is suspiciously absent from the murder scene, which makes no sense considering Nico's account rely on them not having left the gym while trying to murder Ace. Them leaving to chuck the cloth aside only to come back to the gym doesn't make sense with the timeline in how we discover things.
Yep, I'm making the claim that Nico didn't actually kill Ace here, I still think it's Hu. Again you can try and complain all you want about how it's out of character for Nico but the reality is...shit is not adding up.
It's really suspicious how silent Hu becomes when her weapon is brought up, immediatly clamming up and not defending Nico anymore. When Teruko makes assumption that Nico lied to Hu to get her weapon, she doesn't reply with a betrayed "Nico is that true ?" or even a sentence she responds with "That's...". The amout of ellpises both Nico and Hu give are extremely suspicious and just make me side eye both of them extremely hard.
I'm gonna go on another tangent here, on the subject of Hu being suspicious. Mainly because I do wanna point out a moment that both makes Eden seem a lot more innocent and makes Hu a lot more guilty.
The subject of Arei potentially committing suicide.
Now, it's very clear that the way Arei was hung was meant to make it look like Arei killed herself, this was very much meant to be the culprit's intention. Both to hide the true murder mechanism and probably to mislead the cast. The fact that it's only an incidental red mark of Arei's wrist that proves she didn't kill herself, proves that the culprit intended for it to look like a suicide.
However guess who argues against this...Eden, which, if she is the culprit I don't see why she would do something like that (and if you say "well why is Hu defending Nico and Eden" I already explained it). Clearly the Eden!Culprit theory relies on her being capable of manipulation so there's no reason why she would be so caught up in her own feelings to just ruin her own plan like that.
You know who seems to really be into the idea of Arei killing herself though, Hu.
That's all I have to say on that, now let's get onto how I think Nico actually helped Hu.
I do think there's still a 50/50 on them working directly together or just Nico catching onto Hu's plans and deciding on their own to help her.
I do think Nico directly helped her though in two major ways
First, the water, it's the obvious one. Nico probably ended up giving the water the Hu here weither they did so with/without knowing Hu's intention doesn't really matter since they're deciding to keep quiet about it now.
I also want to quickly mention how Hu getting water from the relaxation room makes a lot of sense. Hu was busy with Eden in the kitchen and Teruko had taken all the drinks from the gym, so it's likely Hu was forced to take the water from the relaxation room.
Second, the note
Oooo baby let's get into my favorite realisation in watching this episode.
One piece of dialogue has made me realize something
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This made me puzzled too, because yeah, who would be listening in and how did Arei not notice when she went into the room ?
Let me take you all back to Chapter 2 Episode 5
Rose and Teruko have a conversation about Rose's secret and that conversation lasts a good while, until...
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Nico was actually shown to have been there the entire time, Teruko and Rose were talking without noticing they were there.
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Nico then explains themselves like this, pretty much proving this is something they just like doing casually sometimes.
This actually would explain everything on how the eavesdropping happened, Nico was on the literal fucking floor of the infirmary leading to them listening to everyone's conversation. Which tmeans they could have had the information to write the note.
This would explain the inconcistencies as to why would the culprit know to eavesdrop and how they didn't get caught by Arei when she was barging into the room (if they were outside by the door).
Now this leads to two possibilities with Nico and their relation to Hu.
Either they worked together with Hu and they both came up with the murder together. Which means either of them could've written the note.
Or Nico helped Hu without her knowledge, making the note to help her (edit : just realised this doesn't make a lot of sense ignore this).
I believe this is all I have so far and I'm very tired so you won't get a conclusion
Oh wait I hear something in the background...
"WHAT ABOUT THE TAAAAAAAAPE"
First of all, y'all gaslit me into thinking Ace couldn't have taken the tape so I'm already sick of this tape bullshit being used as decisive unshakeable evidence.
You know what I think probably happened ? Ace took the tape, after all it disappeared when he woke up and it's possible that he just then threw it away in the trash.
I mean Ace did say he was gonna "commit a murder of his own", it would be in line with him taking the tape.
Why isn't he talking about it then ? Because he'd be seen as the fucking culprit and also Ace is not really the most honest bitch out need i mention Ace witholding info about David and Arei's conversation.
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So I actually like how Blitz’s and Stolas’ prejudices are written. It feels a lot more real and like something they have to work on and overcome.
Too many stories have their protagonists just completely unaffected by the world around them. “Damn, racism is a problem? Well that’s bad! Someone as good as me can’t be racist!”
Which…oh my god. Now that I’m typing it out, does explain so many antis. Literal child shit.
But anyone of a marginalized status can tell you that’s not how it works? Even the bestest best boy will internalize racism, classism, sexism, homophobia, antisemitism, Islamophobia, ableism…all the -isms. You can’t “good person” your way out of being affected by your culture.
As an autistic person, I still get annoyed when people don’t make eye contact. Because I’m making the effort to mask, damn it, why aren’t you putting in the effort to hide something shameful like I am? And then I have to take a moment to remind myself that autism isn’t shameful and eye contact (or lack of it) is morally neutral and culturally relevant.
And when media portrays bigotry and prejudice as The Thing Only the Bad People Do and not a series of systems, behaviors, and thoughts that divide people based on arbitrary characteristics, it feels disingenuous. People that may have some unfortunate opinions on things, like “rap music is bad” and “gay people are fine when they’re not being cringey about it” and “men shouldn’t cry” (*coughStellaStanscough*) will never look inside themselves if they think of these systems as “The Good” and “The Bad”
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stormyelliotwritez · 2 days
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fic where ftm reader is logan’s gay (re)awakening when he sees r in his 2000 pickup truck blasting old rock in his flannel and jeans and logan just heart eyes and needs to be with this man Immediately.
(i say reawakening bc lets be real hes like 200 he mightve already realized hes a 🚬 before but needed like. a reminder)
AAAAAAHHHHHH literally my fav trope ever - i did a similar one to this btw called logan and his hot guy friend - also i made reader a handyman type guy coz funsies
He may be a bit ooc but i ain’t sure
i need to get more photos coz i keep reusing them
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Old rock and a 2000’s pickup truck? 😍
It had been a long long day and Logan was walking home from the job he’d gotten after all that multiverse shit when a 2000’s pickup truck parked at the lights. He walked up next to it and raised an eyebrow as he heard the music. It was old rock or dad rock as Wade would say. He walked past the window and saw you. You were wearing a red flannel and faded blue jeans. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to like a guy.
He wandered home in a daze, only thinking about you in that pick up truck. Wade asked him if something was wrong and he couldn’t even answer. He just mumbled a no and then grabbed a beer. You looked so good in that flannel. He only saw you for a moment but you were his type alright.
A few days later, he took the same route home, hoping he’d see you and he did. You were parked this time with tools in the backseat. Against his better judgement, he walked up to your window and tapped on it. And against your better judgement, you rolled the window down and smiled at him.
“Your truck is a beauty,” he said with a smile.
“Thanks, I fixed her up myself,” you said back before patting the dashboard lovingly.
Logan took a glance at the tools in the back of your truck and chuckled to himself. “You a handyman?”
You nodded. “Guilty as charged. You needing something fixed?”
He chuckled. “Well now that I think of it, we’ve had a dodgy tap recently, my roommate and I.”
You chuckled and nodded. “I could drop by and see if it’s an easy fix?”
“Yeah, that’d be great, bub. We just live in the top apartment at the building with the blue door just over there so feel free to drop by whenever.”
You nodded and smiled again. “Well I gotta be off. I’ll drop by tomorrow.”
Logan smiled and waved as you drove off. He pumped his fist in the air, mimicking Wade, and grinned. Hell yeah, he was gonna get to see you again.
He walked back to the apartment and this time, he grabbed a beer and joined Wade on the couch. “You gotta skedaddle tomorrow so go work or something,” was all he said to Wade before the soccer game started.
The next day, Logan stayed home and made sure Wade was out the door by 8. The clock struck 10 and you knocked on the door like well… clockwork. He quickly opened the door and let you in.
“Hey, you’re here,” he smiled, “wasn’t sure if you’d turn up.”
You smiled and held up your bag. “Well I like getting paid.”
“And I like getting my tap fixed.”
You got to work and soon enough, you’d found the problem. You fixed it and when you stood up, Logan was standing in the doorway. He had a grin on his face and a beer in each hand. You hadn’t noticed how hot he was before but now he was standing there, wearing a white singlet and a brown flannel and looking super duper hot.
“That for me?”
He nodded and handed it over. “For a job well done, bub. And I’ll pay you as well of course.”
The two of you sat down and both had a beer. A bit after Logan finished his, he grabbed the money and handed it over. You stood up and contemplated leaving before turning back to him and chuckling awkwardly.
“You seeing anyone?”
Logan smiled and shook his head. “Thought you’d never ask, bub.”
You sat back down and leaned towards him, a smile on your lips. “Would you want to be seeing someone?”
“Is that someone you because I would love to be seeing you,” he said with a smirk as he leaned towards you.
When you leaned backwards and stretched, your shirt rode up and he saw your binder. He nodded to himself and leaned in a bit closer. “Haven’t dated a guy in a while so you wanna break me in again? We could listen to some rock?”
You chuckled and licked your lips before standing up and pulling your chair to next to him. You sat back down and shamelessly grabbed ahold of his hand and ran your fingers over it. “Absolutely, handsome.”
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Jason: Kill him. Batman: No. Jason: Kill him. Batman: No. Jason: Kill him! Batman: No! Joker: Can I kill myself to escape this nightmare of awkward father son tension? Jason and Batman: Shut up! Jason: Ignore me, like you did when I died, what about the countless lives he’s taken, what about Barb, what about the shit he’s put all of us through for some sick joke? And if you didn’t want to do it because of those reasons, what about me? I wanted to ignore this but he took me away from you! Why not vindicate me? I thought I was your son! Joker: Guess you weren’t that close. Jason snacks Joker with the crowbar a fifth time. Jason: Shut. The. Fuck. Up! Back to you, when I saw the bomb tick down, I accepted it. I accepted my death... I thought when I died, you'd kill him. Then I wake up and he's still alive. Why? Batman: I’ve contemplated torturing Joker in a private area. Make him feel pain from every nerve in his body, make it so that when I finally killed him I savor the light leaving his… eyes. But I don’t want to go to that dark place because that won’t fix crime. Jason: Stop joking. Batman: I'm not. Jason: You have to be. Batman: When have I ever joked with you in this suit?
Jason: It's not too late, because you can't be serious. It literally would fix one thing.. Him! Joker: Can you tell me what type of torture methods you’d perform on me? I might need to use those later. Jason points to Joker with his gun. Batman: If I kill I would never go back. I would kill the next one like him. Jason: Then fucking do that! You can't be arrested. You are friends with commissioner Gordon, who by the way, Joker shot his fucking daughter. You shot his daughter right? Joker: Yeah. Jason: Okay, so should I shoot him or do you want to? Batman: Joker would have to do something insanely unforgivable to make me kill him. Jason: ...He tricked my mom into handing me over and killed me. Horribly tortured me. Just want you to know I was legally dead for a time. Batman: That's different. Jason: Different how? Batman: You're here now.
Jason looks around. Jason: Am I on a hidden camera show? Because you did not say that as a defense. You can't be serious! Batman: It’s not right! Jason: Why? Go ahead tell me, why is it wrong to kill him and for me to kill irredeemable criminals. I'll wait, I have the detonator. Batman: Because when my parents died, I learned all life is valuable. Jason: Joseph Stalin. Batman: Okay, I - Jason: Charles Manson. Batman: Hold on, now he was- Jason: Jim Jones. Batman: Well they volunteered. Jason: Adolf Hitler, the Nazi soldiers who knowingly participated in the extermination of Jews and the ones who escaped to Brazil. Joker: I know I'm the one possibly dying, but he brought up a couple good examples. Batman: No, wait, because that's not the same. Joker is not the same as them. Jason: Okay, I will cancel out the world dictators and Manson. I'll do that... Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Wade Wilson! Batman: ... Jason: And again him torturing and killing your son isn't the line?
Batman: I told you not to fall for your mother's tricks. Jason: Are you resorting to gas lighting? While I have a bomb? We're doing that?! Batman: All I'm saying is when you got brought back you killed left and right. Jason: Yes, rapists and murderers. I don't kill shoplifters. Batman: Hypocrite. Jason: A shoplifter has a reason and doesn't go about killing someone. What rapists have you met that had a reason? Because rapists aren't redeemable, they're free game. Batman: Okay, last I checked murder is wrong! Jason: Yeah, it is! Jason points his gun Joker. Batman: ...A criminal is a criminal. I treat them all the same. Jason: Let's talk about Selina Kyle. Batman: Let's not do this. Jason: She gets a pass when she's attacked people to escape. If a criminal is a criminal then why isn't she in prison? Because she meows at you? Because you unironically like when she hits you with a whip? Because she talks in a fake sultry voice? I want to know why does she get a pass? Why Black Mask walks? Joker walks? Mr. Freeze walks? Tick tock detective. Batman: ... Jason: It bothers you, doesn't it? That I'm doing a better job at you? That I'm taking on businesses of the crime ridden area because I can admit that crime will never stop? That I kill murderers and rapists? Batman: It doesn't bother me... I just don't want you to do this. Jason: I'm not asking you to kill Selina or Riddler or Mr. Freeze. I want you to kill him. I'm not even mad at you for not stopping my death, I forgive you on that, but for the love of God, kill him! Please. I am begging you! Do you see this? I am begging you! Batman: I can't. I'm sorry. Jason: Okay you have two options. I kill Joker or... You kill me. Jason tosses Batman a gun that the man catches with ease. Batman: I regret the day I let you into my life... Not because of your fault, but my own. I gave you a good life with the life of a hero. So I won't kill him. I'm sorry. Jason: Hm... I guess you'll watch me kill him. This is great, I always wanted this moment with us. Jason grabs Joker and aims the gun at the cackling psychos head. Jason: I’m going to enjoy this! Batman: Dodge! Jason: What? Batman tosses a batarang at Jason’s neck, impaling it in the man's neck. Jason drops the gun and Joker in shock and pain as blood splurts out of his neck wound. Jason: You threw a batarang… at ME?! Batman: Oh shit, shit, shit! You were supposed to dodge! Jason: You pulled a Piccolo on me!? Batman: I thought you would dodge. I shouted dodge! Jason: You thought I would read your damn mind, toss Joker aside, dodge and then not shoot him. Batman stays silent. Jason and Joker: Oh my God you did. GREAT, NOW I'M AGREEING WITH HIM! Jason yanks the Batarang out of his neck. He looks at the Batarang, silent and shaking. Jason: You know... maybe in a few years we can laugh about this, but for...I'm sorry too. Jason presses the detonator managing to escape along with Batman. Joker is crushed by the debris of the buildings, but alive.
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rolandkaros · 7 months
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WTA 9 - 12 AS LYRICS FROM SONGS I HAVE SAVED [1 - 4] [5 - 8] [INSP]
MARIA SAKKARI [GRE] -> GAVE YOU EVERYTHING [THE INTERRUPTERS] JEĻENA OSTAPENKO [LAT] -> SO WHAT [P!NK] KAROLÍNA MUCHOVÁ [CZE] -> A BEGINNING SONG [THE DECEMBERISTS] DARIA KASATKINA [RUS] -> LIGHT MY LOVE [GRETA VAN FLEET]
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oh-cramity-its-amity · 2 months
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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cncbb · 6 months
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if one more person tells me I'm mature for my age I'm killing myself and then I'll be dead for my age instead
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cloudd-nyne · 5 months
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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commander-gloryforge · 5 months
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hella1975 · 1 year
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basically threw away £20 on my nails today so was already getting weird bc i apparently cannot be normal about money and then my paycheck came through just for my manager to have knocked off 11 hours worth of pay. so naturally i am crying in a dark room about it
#this is such a girl moment wdym you’re crying about your fucking nails. couldn’t explain it to you if i tried#im just an utter FREAK about money and then for my payslip to get fucked as well. whyyyyy would you do that#im not built for the working world truly idk how sensitive people do it bc i am NOT im tough as shit 99% of the time and i STILL can’t deal#just give me my fucking money it’s not fair 😭😭😭 i worked hard 😭😭😭#and the dumbest brattiest part of this is that the thing that tipped me over the edge is that my mum didn’t offer to pay for my nails#like how ridiculous and spoiled is that but still i was so so angry at myself about fucking them up and it’s £25 to get them done tomorrow#and I’ve worked so hard for her this summer and both days I’ve been in town I’ve got her things#like nothing spenny but I’ve just thought of her and got her things I know she’d like just to be nice#and £25 is NOTHING TO HER AND SHE DIDNT EVEN OFFER 😭😭 she even joked it off#she was like ‘your dad would offer to pay if he was here but I believe in lessons’ GIRL FUCK YOUR LESSONS I WANT MY NAILS DONE 😭😭😭#why am i actually in tears over this. this is so silly. now all my money is fucked and im going to be the skint one when we go to dublin#AS USUAL. even though i worked hard and clocked the hours it still got fucked bc im fucking. cursed#im aware im being dramatic and this isn’t even about the amount of money i have atm i promise this isn’t some desperate bankruptcy claim#like for once im actually fine money wise it’s just all been FUCKED and my dates are now FUCKED bc i have to wait for next paycheck now#and it’s so unfair bc usually things go wrong for me bc im DUMB and mess it up LIKE MY NAIL APPOINTMENT#but for work and dublin i literally planned it perfectly and did the hours and it still didn’t work#like what is WRONG with me. i hate being an adult i need a sugar daddy ive had enough#the message I sent my manager…. scathing…. ik his scared of confrontation ass is panicking. give me my fucking MONEY#hella goes home
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cosmic-ships · 6 months
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imagine gatekeeping
Imagine setting boundaries so you have a safe space for yourself.
Block button is free. <3
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shopcat · 2 years
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i still think the funniest possible outcome of the steddie height difference back and forth is ultimately the truest one where they are almost exactly the same height looking each other right in the eye when making out and both of them refuse in the deepest depths of their souls to admit it for absolutely no reason at all and they are like constantly getting back to back in every possible scenario and making an increasingly larger and larger group of people measure them like two little kids. and eddie would also like insist he's grown more every time and the day steve decides to actually pull his shoulders back and stand up straight for the first time in his life and eddie has to kill himself again
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scienceisfood · 3 months
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At the root of my problems.
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apathyfairy · 18 days
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me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money
me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend
#i want a corn dog so bad rn#ngl u guys im actually really struggling with turning 30 at the end of the year lmao#not lmao bc it really is bothering me which is so stupid i know I Know#but. and i know we're All struggling with this. but it's like god i have done nothing with my life#like fr. everyone says that but i literally have done nothing. ive never had a real 9-5 ive been freelancing since college#and tbh i guess that's not a bad thing? but self worth wise i feel like a complete loser.#but ive just made one mistake after another and i know that's what your 20s are for and u know what this is my tags and im not going#to keep contradicting myself i feel like shit bc i feel like shit and ive wasted my whole life thats that#i just feel like such a sham like i cant believe this is what 30 is like i on god feel like im still a teenager#not in a carefree kind of way OBVIOUSLY. which i never was anyway. but i just ?? feel like that#scary fucking episode of rugrats where tommy and chuckie become their dads and they go to work and theyre so fucked up bc#well theyre babies and they dont know anything. and even the fact that i just referenced rugrats to explain how i feel lmaooooo#relationship wise well u guys know how that is. and i truly couldnt care less about what people think about me not being in a relationship#ever and tbqh i dont give a fuck anymore either like. and here i go bringing this up again. but after my ex im like ok life truly is so#short fr i dont even care like anyway. anyway. the point is there is just no reality whatsoever where i pictured my life where i am now#once again living with the abusive relative i moved across the ocean to get away from.#no love life to speak of. fr dont care but god wouldnt it be nice to be loved fr.....#no career. living in a state i hate with all my heart. barely surviving money wise. which is everyone rn but#if i had known 10 years ago this would be my life i would have honestly killed myself.#like if i knew it would all turn out like this i wouldnt have moved i wouldve just fr killed myself and i wish i did lol#to be fair. i didnt see myself living past 18 but like. i just thought something would have saved me by now
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