#i literally have nothing on my body
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got the same stomach flu my brother had just a few days ago 🤡
#that what i get for trying to help him#also tmi#i havent eaten all day cuz i cant stop vomiting 🤡#love that for me#i literally have nothing on my body#only water#and im still feeling nauseous and still want to 🤮#im so hungry tho#😭#and as far as i know there's not really any medication for it#just have to wait it out and drink water#*y
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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Side effects of wearing your Kaiju suit too often ,,,, Part 2
#narumi gen#kn8#kaiju no. 8#my art#kn8 spoilers#idk if this actually needs a spoiler tag since it's mostly AU but eh#if nothing else my tags need a spoiler tag lol#biblically accurate narumi i have created him#himm always watching#I like the idea that when all his funky 1 eyes close you can barely see them#want him to walk around like a normal little guy#and then something catches his attention and bam#suddenly eyes everywhere lookin around#I also think the sclera of his normal eyes might do a colour change depending on if he's in normal boi or 1 mode??#idk i'm still workshopping this a little lol#the hoshi10 merge i had figured out in my head weeks before i drew him but this literally just happened sdkjfhsf so ......#I would pay money for a proper reference picture of 1 because there is so much of the design i don't get sigh#will probably have reno done tomorrow as well he's almost there ehehehe just need to clean up a little#kaiju boyfriens all together <3#I wish i could have incorporated his suit more :c#i like to think of this au as the suits actually merging into their bodies + some funky kaijufication#but the 1 suit doesnt have any cool features like the 10 tail ;;#except for the spine i guess which i will defintiely use but stillll
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"77.kra" just hits different
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#tw body horror#<- i think thats applicable here? better safe than sorry with this stuff methinks#i need to draw characters i like as little messed up thangs from time to time. its enrichment that is crucial to my wellbeing actually#+ brush im feeling the most rn vibes more with this stuff vs literally anything else. its either i go along w it or suffer artblock forever#also the whole “looks hella weird but its still the same moron” thing scratches my brain idk. nothing he does is intentional hes just dumb#i fear(/pos) ppl who make him look really damn pretty btw. yall are so real for that and have so much power i really respect yall djfmgd
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I've been absent because I've been binging DAV; enjoying the game a lot, but I gotta agree with all my discussions I've had with friends: they really sanded down any of the edge/darkness DA had, and I think that's a mistake and a loss, tbh. Still a good game and I'm having fun, but there's a lot of wasted potential.
Also they keep retconning/ignoring parts of lore/world building (esp the darker aspects) from older games and it annoys me, but whatever
#personal#This is how I'm coping rn soz fellas#Lucanis is still my baby girl tho I'm still waiting for like... anything to happen#pls dude come on#I literally have a save point for Emmrich's romance lock in cause he's next on my list. might make a new rook for him tho#Also. I'm so sorry but so many of the companion's legendary armor are so ugly#and slight spoilers:: they do NOTHING with body horror in this game despite ghil'hanain's whole schtick BEING creation#I just wanna see the horrors ok#Also I think they should do more messed up stuff with demons like with the fade in DAO or the envy demon in DAI#theres so many and all they are are trash mobs#it's annoying
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there should've been at least a full view of Fíli's body in the funeral scene
"Fíli you didn't deserve any of this" we all say in unison
#you already know how much i hate the way the hobbit movies are not canon-accurate at all#but what my boy Fili did to deserve such erasure... not even Mahal knows#not only he's the “least important Durin” in the movies somehow?? like he's literally the heir?? hello???#(Thorin's the king and we have that -ugh- Kíli subplot... nothing for Fíli)#we didn't even get a full body view like the rest of the departed. why.#but tbh I hate the funeral scene in general in the movies (the whole change w/ the Elvenking's character) so yeah#this is just the cherry on top#before anyone comes for my head for anything I've said: the movies are great movies BUT most definitely not good the hobbit adaptations#never in a million years will I ever say “if you don't feel like reading the book just watch the movie and I'll tell you the rest :)”#because literally no YOU'll be telling me the rest 😭#but also never in a million years will I ever say “please for the love of everything holy do NOT ever watch those terrible halfling films”#the hobbit#fili and kili#fili durin#kili durin#the hobbit thorin#thorin oakenshield#the hobbit movies
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🍷<3
#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad#and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything#i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing#but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT#and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing#and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over#and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop#and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me#and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it#again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that#so I felt guilty throughout#anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely#and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods#heres to healing ❤️🩹
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Washing my face before bed is hateful and gets water all over the place. Showering is a pleasant sensory experience, but takes a distasteful amount of planning
Moisturizing and braiding my hair before bed feels like being a queen in her chamber, gently applying rare unguents as part of a luxuriant pre-sleep ritual
Hope this helps
#personal#self-care#obviously I do still always wash my face because I have to get the sunscreen off before sleeping#and when I say moisturizing I need like. Drugstore face moisturizer plus drugstore eye cream plus Bath and body Works hand lotion#*I mean like#literally nothing here cannot be purchased at CVS besides the hand cream#but it’s the FEELING. the VIBE
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its crazy how coming into clinical social work, i really just thought I was up against systems and cycles of trauma....but it turns out i'm up against those two things AND other therapists. the amount of work spent correcting mistakes from other clinicians--whether with clients or during the classroom--is fucking crazy.
i totally get we're all on different journeys in terms of being clinicians. but it is insane finding out day after day of therapists and clinicians saying the worst things ever to clients. demeaning them, telling them "it's all in their head", the racism and the ableism and harm that is caused. like no fucking wonder people are afraid to seek therapy (on top of the accessibility issues). while i'm a little biased and think that at the very least clinical social work training focuses on viewing people within their environments (so not engaging in the medical/individualist models of practice that a lot of counseling programs focus on), that doesn't mean it gives every person the skills to be an effective therapist. i'm also not saying i'm the best clinician ever--I'm literally in training--but boy! it is jarring seeing how some of my peers interact in class and wondering...is that how you are with your clients??
my social work program at the very least also has a focus on anti-racism, but i know students from other programs and some of them don't even mention racism AT ALL and focus entirely on diagnosing people "correctly", or finding the perfect form of therapy to use on a client. but man, what none of these programs teach are basic life skills. wanting to be a clinician isn't enough, especially considering that an inhumane amount of people in my program are 1. so nervous about making mistakes that they lose scope of their practice 2. have so much internalized racism/white guilt to work thru 3. or they have absolutely no listening skills.
again, im not trying to make it seem like I am the number 1 clinician in the world ever. I don't even have a psych background or bachelor's in social work. my reasons for going into social work are quite selfish (I want a job that is very flexible, easily transferable, and can be done in different contexts), and the helping people part is just a plus. i'm just saying it's very jarring seeing other people in training and realizing they too are working with clients. i have conversation after conversation about these issues with other BIPOC/queer/marginalized clinicians, so I know i'm not the only person worried about some of the people that will be out of this program in a few years practicing on their own or with vulnerable populations.
#muerto talks#just rambling#maybe im just a hater virgo with a strong sense of justice#i am just forever perplexed#learning that some of my classmates believe that you can be racist to white people is crazy#learning that some of my classmates are rude and dismissive to BIPOC students but they work in BIPOC communities#learning that some of my classmates weaponize their mental illnesses as an excuse to act shitty to professors classmates or clients is craz#there are zionists??? trying to be social workers??????#i literally have classes with zionists#some people r doing a whole ass career change because they had a spiritual calling to help people??#again not saying im such a great clinician im in training just like the rest of my program#but you cannot like tell me to even try to be hopeful about some of the people who will be my collegues in a year#because i have no hope for them#and its going to take making serious mistakes for them to maybe snap out of it#and that fucking sucks#nothing in my body feels safe around those people#like idc maybe im an elitist with impossible standards#maybe im the one asking too much from these people.....#the cognitive dissonance is real in these people man
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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I think I've forgotten how intense I can get whenever I get a crush on a fictional character because tell me why I spent the better half of the day going through Pinterest and looking for pictures of Smoke from MK1 to put as my desktop wallpaper...
#pinterest#fictional characters#fictional crushes#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 1#mk1#smoke#mk1 smoke#tomas vrbada#mk1 tomas vrbada#mk1 tomas#random#random post#i'm sorry#but that man is a beautiful man#he's giving cinnamon roll who kills#and my god#his voice#his body#his moves#I literally have been watching nothing but smoke gameplays because he is THAT MAN#and the fact he's my first fictional crush in literal YEARS#just shut up and take my heart#okay word vomit over#i think
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i think i’m insulted by the fact that my costar in the play isn’t at all turned on by making out with me
#unfortunately this is the only place i can put this thought without someone i know irl seeing it and getting the wrong idea#so you guys have to deal with it#i don’t like this guy. i don’t wan to fuck him. but like. he should want to fuck me???? you know????#we’re literally tonguing each other and he’s not into it? at all???? come on man what the fuck i’m hot!!!!#i must admit that he is 6’5 and even if i don’t want to fuck him im still like wrow. you’re really covering my entire body with your body#but him? nothing. brother i have picked up dudes way beyond your league you should have at least a hard on right now
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L. Lawliet is a gifted photographer who believes he has understood the light and its secrets. Light Yagami is a young, unstable and slightly crooked model. Together, they kill time.
I had a bookcover design assignment so obviously I chose @devilinthebox's literary masterpiece of a fanfic Our Bodies, Possessed by Light
#I actually hate this already but its mostly because nothing I could ever draw couldnt even begin to describe the beauty of this fic#The way this fic is EVERYTHING to me#It literally tore me to pieces split in my face made me cry then cradled me and gave me a forehead kiss then threw me into cold water#over and over again#I could talk about it for hours#I love every single character so so much#my favorite portrayal of naomi EVER#also the fact that Beyond is turkish and speaks of his turkish mother missing İstanbul so dearly#literally made me cry#I love him so much#sorry Beyond is canonically turkish now and its my whole personality#anyway maybe I'll ramble more about how much I love this fic on another post sometime later#the photos on the wall are mostly my old art#I thought about doing an A portrait but I have no idea what she looks like#anyway yea#my art#lawlight#l lawliet#light yagami#our bodies possessed by light#obpl#lawlight fic#lawlight fanart
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Mind and Heart both know how to cook and bake. Mind prefers baking because of the rigid instructions, and Heart prefers cooking because he can experiment with the recipes.
Soul should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen. Heart asked if Soul wanted to cook once and he brought out a Mountain Dew cookbook. He’s never asked again.
Headcanon #319
#chonny jash#submission#cj mind#cj heart#cj soul#chonny's charming chaos compendium#no but like let Soul cook tho. literally let him cook#mountain dew is my everything#like my body will die 20 years younger because of how much mnt dew i drink#genuinely i probably have only drank mnt dew in the last week. weeks or months even. maybe some milk & MAYBE water#the water is a recent addition cos like i need more hydration lol#like we joke soul drinks nothing but the sugar free monster from the qna#but when i say it i mean it exactly the way i drink mnt dew#can also make mnt dew tier list. i love the different flavors#baja blast & whiteout are the best things humanity has ever owned#i am soul but soda#“Haha he's literally me” but in the worst chaotic way possible
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Do you have any plan to make some kind of bonus chapter or oneshot about marcille's perspective in little creature? It's not like I'm asking you for it ofc!! it's just that i think it'll be interesting to read, and especially since you had those tags about marcille after her fight/outburst with falin and how you couldn't add it to the fic because the fic is from falin's perspective
Probably not about anything that happens during a little creature, but maybe something before or after? Sometimes I do like to do "the other character thinking back to events while doing stuff in a sequel" oneshot type thing, but we'll see how it shakes out!
#asks#a little creature#i will say#Marcille was firmly in denial and just Not Thinking About Her Feelings#the dinner scene was the first crack in her self delusion but it was still there#then the last chapter was it finally shattering as she saw Falin kissing someone else and experienced Elf Shrimp Emotions#just insane intensity furor and jealousy#she was about to fucking blow up#and then the confrontation happens and shes literally in shambles#cant think everything hurts#just barely scraping enough braincells to thank kiki inbetween enormous hiccups and sobs that shake her entire body#sees laios. slaps him. collapses into his arms sobbing and apologizing again#he cant actually understand what shes saying through the blubbering but hes doing his best to comfort her#to be perfectly honest im not 100% she even has the space to process 'i have feelings for falin' in full clarity#the 'why did seeing her kissing someone else make me feel like i wanted to die or kill someone' doesnt like... click#not until she gets over the mess of 'how could she say that to me didnt i do enough'#'didnt i love her enough does she care so little for me that she cant even bother to think about how i feel'#'does she care so little for me that she doesnt know that i would die for her i HAVE died for her and killed for her'#'how could she not know that she was nothing less than my whole reason for living for so long'#... i guess thats what shes blubbering at laios but it just comes out as like#'howcouldnbwhebwsbebwbendoesbdhemotbbwkowbblblbllvlbl'#snotting into laios's shirt#its ok. she'll be ok. like laios has to carry her back to her room because she latched on and didn't let go until she literally like#cried herself to exhaustion and passed out.#but she'll be okay. after maybe another day of moping she finally has her White Woman Moment of looking at herself in the mirror#and admitting that she's in love with falin and has been for a while
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