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wings-of-ink · 9 months ago

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Hi!! I know you said you'll refrain from answering long asks, and this ask is pretty long but I sent it anyways cause I think the answer would be pretty short! If not, please don't feel pressured to respond! If u don't respond I'll take that the answer is longer than I thought it would be, so I've saved it on my notes app and will gladly send it again when u end chapter 3 or whenever u allow it! :)

Now to the ask,

Will it be possible to romance a RO without flirting w/ them? Is it possible to flirt w/ everyone (but this specific RO) or just like one RO and even so end up in a relationship w/ a different RO? I'm thinking of playing a mc that is really attracted physically to people like Zhan but he's been in love w/ Oswin since forever. And he thinks flirting is for when you're playing w/ someone (even tho he's probably seen his parents flirting constantly lol), but since he loves Oswin he doesn't need to play, he can just be genuine. But he still thinks he has no chance w/ Oswin, so he flirts with Zhan (without moving on 😭). But I also feel kinda sad about Zhan I don't wanna hurt their feelings😭 if we flirt w/ them and maybe hook up are they gonna be sad if we get w/ someone else?? 😞 Cause like my mc will start to genuinely care about them but won't be in love pls let's just be besties who used to have benefits🥺 Also if this whole situation is possible, how would Oswin react to it?? Poor boy must be😧🤨😳

Sorry for the long ask, the demo was gigantic and amazing!! Ty so much for your hard work <3

Hello Anon-dear! If your ask is a bit long to read-that's fine, if it's long to answer, that's where I'll need to pause for the time being. That's where I get hung up and distracted, lol. I'm still taking those too, it's still Friday somewhere, lol.

To answer your question, it will absolutely be possible to romance someone without flirting. The "flirt" options are passively tracked just so I can program certain flirty responses that will be directed back to the MC by those ROs (it's a way for me to track if it's okay with reader/MC so I'm not directing like super suggestive come-ons towards them that aren't okay).

I absolutely love how you're going to play your MC. That's part of the reason I wanted to do things this way. The way I play my MCs sometimes makes flirting almost out of character for them, but of course I'd want the romance, lol.

Your MC will be free to flirt and do some other things with Zahn (they are all kinds of okay with that, lol) and then lock-in with Oswin later - no flirting required.

Zahn will be totally fine if your MC doesn't end up with them. They and Duri are both good with physical-only and flirty relationships. Your MC will make selections as they go about how they feel about each potential suitor, and the hook-up ROs will have a selection that you can choose if this is just for fun or if it's got some feelings attached (whether your MC is fully aware or not). [Lucky for your MC, I added a light spicey scene for Zahn in chapter 3 if they so choose] :D

If Oswin is aware of relations between the MC and others, he's going to feel a little strange about it and be concerned (for MC's well-being because he cannot help himself, lol). Mainly, things like that aren't his bag, but he also knows that for many people physical and romantic relationships can be separate. He's more concerned with having his lover's heart above all else, so ultimately he will be okay with it. For MCs that have been involved with the hook-ups, particularly the ROs, Oswin may have a harder time digesting that the MC is choosing him to remain with. (He may feel that the connection between the MC and Zahn/Duri was deeper and never considered that the MC would ever go for him). It will be an interesting conversation for sure (one that the programming for is already frightening me, lol).

Thank you so much for the Ask and kind words! I really appreciate you digging into my story and having a good time with it! ^_^

#god cursed if #twine if #asks #if wip #twine wip #interactive novel #if game #interactive fiction #gc ro oswin #gc ro reactions #gc ro zahn #gc ro duri

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jazzythursday · 1 year ago

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Rusty (753 words)

“Ugggh. Nope. Can’t do it. Doomed mission. Give up time.”

Wylan looks up from whatever demo-related concoction he’d been looking after on the table and lifts off his goggles, fixes Jesper with a playful but decidedly unimpressed look. “I’ve never known Jesper Fahey to walk away from long odds, have you?”

Jesper pockets the stupid lump of metal he’d been attempting to fashion into a spoon and points an accusatory finger. “It’s no fair using that against me. I’m in distress, I’m in need.”

“Hm. In need of what?”

“Um… kisses?”

Wylan huffs a laugh. “Are you asking me?”

“Would you just—” he breaks off into a sigh. This is ridiculous, Jesper thinks. Twenty-three years on this earth and he still can’t do what most Fabrikators can manage by less than half that age. It’s absurd. He wants to shoot something; he doesn’t think it will help.

Wylan is in front of him before Jesper really registers that he’s moved from his work bench at all. His hands move lightly up to Jesper’s face and pull him into a sweet kiss. Jesper wraps his arms around Wylan and feels his tense muscles start to relax at the proximity. He wants to give into it. He tries to override his frustration at his abilities with the feeling of Wylan, and he’s almost successful. He sighs again, louder, and lets his head fall onto Wylan’s shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut. “This is impossible.”

“It’s not impossible,” Wylan says, but there’s sympathy behind the words, and a comforting and quiet kind of understanding. “It’ll take time.”

“I might lose my mind by then, honestly. I wasn’t made for this kind of quiet concentration.”

“You’re just rusty, it’ll come.”

“What does that even mean, rusty?” Jesper asks, not really expecting an answer but unsurprised when one is given anyway.

“Well, when iron or certain alloys are exposed to large enough quantities of oxygen and moisture over time, the oxygen and metal oxidise to create surface corrosion.”

“So, you’re saying I’m soggy metal?”

“No, that’s not at all what I’m saying—”

“Washed up metal, then—”

“—Jes, I’m not saying any of that.”

“I know.” Jesper lifts his head, drums his fingers against the dip of Wylan’s waist, but doesn’t move beyond that. “But why does it have to be so hard? Nina’s always going on about how Grisha using their powers makes them healthier, and energised, and all that, but I just feel like—like—” He shrugs.

“Like soggy metal?” Wylan offers, smiling gently.

“Yeah,” Jesper agrees sullenly. “Like soggy metal.”

“I can pull out the white vinegar, if you—”

“Wy.”

“It’s a joke, because when you want to get rid of rust you use—”

“I know it’s what you use to get rid of rust!” Jesper insists. Then he laughs, because everything is ridiculous for completely different reasons now. Wylan smiles proudly at him, clearly pleased with himself for making Jesper laugh.

“You think you’re funny,” Jesper teases, shaking his head. His plan may have worked, in all honesty, because with Wylan this close it's impossible to feel as gloomy as he did before, failed spoon attempts or no. Kissing him is better than any trip to the tables, and considerably more rewarding, too.

“No, you think I’m funny, clearly, since—”

Jesper kisses him, and whatever Wylan had been about to say, it escapes in a breathy little noise that Jesper can feel against his lips. Wylan’s hands reach around to cup the back of Jesper’s neck, pulling him even closer, and Jesper follows. It goes on like that in the middle of the workshop, until Jesper’s neck starts to hurt a little from the odd angle and he pulls away.

“What do you say we take this to the bed?”

Wylan nods eagerly, recapturing Jesper’s mouth and nipping at his bottom lip. Jesper decides the easiest way to get to the bed without stopping is to just reach around and pick Wylan up and carry him. Wylan startles only a little, before his legs tangle with Jesper’s and find purchase, kissing back just as fiercely as Jesper. Jesper walks them back to the bed in the corner and deposits Wylan onto it, crawling on after him.

“Admit it, you like my chemistry metaphors,” Wylan mumbles. Tossing off his goggles and already starting to work off the buttons of his vest.

“Maybe I just like you.”

Wylan pinks a little, smile turning softer. “Well, that’s”—he arches up to kiss Jesper again, humming into it—“that counts too.”

#I’m being… slightly hard on myself abt this one #wesper fic club #jazzy writes #jazzy writes fanfic #wesper #shadow and bone #wylan van eck #six of crows #jesper fehey #wesper drabble #wesper ficlet #wesper fanfic #wesper fluff #a drabble for your troubles?

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skittlespizza · 1 year ago

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TF2 Mercs as the Crane Wives Songs/An Analysis of All the Mercs

This one is going to be a long one, but as is customary with my fandoms, I will be assigning characters songs from the Crane Wives discography. I won't be going lyric by lyric explaining why it relates to the character as it will make the pacing and general setup of this post awkward, I'll just highlight the lyrics that matter.

I will be sticking to their canon personalities. I will be avoiding as much fanon interpretation as possible, and will be avoiding shipping content & common headcanons. It's nice to re-engage with canon media as a nice refresh for interpretations and headcanons.

SCOUT- Take me to War

Take me to War is about anger and fighting. As a child, Scout found himself last to fights and oftentimes had to watch from the sidelines as his brothers got to fight. And he didnt. He was too small. But being small had an advantage, he was able to run.

I've earned myself a reputation/ That my bark is much worse than my bite/ But I keep snapping at Goliath's hands/ With all of my tiny might

This first stanza summarizes Scout, I feel, quite well. Scout talks shit, he's small and can't follow up with the shit he talks, but he talks shit nonetheless.

Dress me in red and throw your roses/ And I'll rankle the beasts with words/ It's a graceless dance of epithets/ We learn to make someone hurt

Scout doesn't look all that scary, that unassuming, but he's tough as nails and despite being cowardly, will stand and help when needed.

All of the words I've swallowed/ All of the sharp things I've kept in my mouth/ I am always bleeding out

This lyric specifically highlights how sometimes words can be more cruel than actions. The mercs all throw insults while on the battlefield, but remember that Scout is the closest thing to a normal boy on that battlefield. He can take literal assassins and killers head on- despite being so young and "normal." We can assume that his sharp tongue would translate quite poorly in normal conversation as being surronded by the mercs sort of. Fucks up your personality.

I'll be the sweetest thing to ever scare you/ Give me a fight I can't resist/ Give me something to break with my fists/ Take me to war/ Oh, honey, I dare you

Scout is a sweet, welcoming small town Boston boy with a heart of gold. Underneath it all, is a violent and teasing killer who, much like his teammates, enjoys violence and hurting people. I feel like this is something that's underutilized when it comes to Scout. He's so young, has a family and future and yet is so easily turned to violence. Take Scout to War, he dares you.

SOLDIER - Little Soldiers

No, I didn't just choose the song because of the title. I struggled immensely when it came to Soldier. I had a general idea, going in, of what everyone's character song will be. With Soldier? The Crane Wives songs deal with deep character incatracies and such, Soldier lacks that, at least on the surface. This song, I feel, represents the friendship he has with RED Demo. His loyalty to his friend and his love for him. This song has the word love in it, but I want to avoid any shipping content in this analysis so it's accessible to everyone. Love can be platonic.

On the broken backs of all the words we spared/ Like little soldiers in the trenches/ It was a march we made towards ruin and despair/ But we held hands all the while

Being forced to kill your best friend over and over is difficult. Fighting, sparring, on the battlefield, yet close friends and confidants outside of it. Holding hands with someone who killed you, it's cruel in a way. For two friends to have to kill over and over. Yet, they continue this friendship despite it all.

Beneath the table you would offer up my bones/ And all the dogs would lick your fingers

How are you supposed to badmouth your best friend? He's supposed to be your enemy, offering up all the parts of your friend that hurts, and you have to be fine with everyone believing you hate him.

We didn't give up, we wouldn't dare surrender/ It was an honest loss

Despite the Administrator forcing them apart, they'd never surrender their loyality to one another. They're loyal to each other before her.

PYRO - Daydreamer

Like I said, I'm trying to stick to canon as much as possible. In canon, Pyro is not that... well, complex. I myself have many headcanons for them, but canon only. Daydreamer is a song about someone who gets stuck in their own head quite a bit, which suits Pyro and their Pyrovision.

Two steps forward and one step back/ I’ll take a one-way ticket anywhere/ It’s not over, this is only a setback/ We’ll just have to move a little bit faster now, faster now

Pyro is two steps forward, one step back. They do something amazing, then do something childish. They balance a fine line between absolutely insane and genius.

Daydreamer, you’re falling behind (falling behind, falling behind)/ I’ll get there in my own time

Pyro... isn't really sure nor is aware of what's going on. And you know what? It works for them. This one is far shorter than any other due to the length of the song being short and not having stuff to analyze as Pyro is rather simple. And sometimes simple is good.

DEMO - Keep you Safe

I knew I wanted to do this song as soon as I reread Demo's backstory. Keep you Safe is about waiting and regrets. One thing Demo is good at is waiting. Waiting for the perfect time to strike or waiting for his parents haha. Demo was abandoned as a kid, and was done so because he needed to hone his skills on his own. Honestly Demo had one of the worst childhoods, killing his parents and losing an eye is not an easy thing for any kid. No wonder he's an alcoholic.

When I was a child/ My nerves ran wild/ When I watched my friends/ Rise to the tops of the trees/ With the risk of fall I never climbed at all/ Every day I told myself “I’m not ready”

Demo felt safer creating bombs, he rather create than socialize. He was never ready. Demo had a shitty childhood and prefered to wait out the dangers instead of engage.

My daddy always said/ “Nothing worth doing comes easy”/ Time is not your friend/ Time is not your remedy

His parents believed in toughing it out. Believed in fighting and believed in working hard, to the point that it was borderline neglectful and absusive. (Again, abanonding your child so that he could find his skills on his own is fucked up). Demo learned the hard way the world is not kind, and sometimes you need to take action. This one is shorter, but I struggle a lot trying to talk about Demo without delving into my headcanon and personal intpretation too much. I'll cut this one short.

ENGINEER - Canary in a Coal Mine

I struggled A LOT with Engie. I reread all his story as much as I could but could not find a matching song, so I had to stretch this to fit quite a bit. Bear with me. I chose Canary in a Coal Mine because of his relationship with the Administrator, and how she would be just about dead without him.

You and I are friends of empty graves, black air and black, black lungs/ Am I the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?

The Administrator is essentially an empty grave with black lungs, has been through a lot of shit. He is the only reason she is alive, he's and his knowledge is the only reason the war continues. Without Engie's ability to create, there wouldn't be anything. He's the only thing keeping her safe when the light is gone.

Feed me promises, keep my heart well/ I'll sing you songs until the darkness does recede

With promises of clearing his "old debt", he's willing to do whatever to feed his god complex. I apologize for the short one this is, I struggled heavily with him much like I did with Pyro.

HEAVY - Hard Sell

Heavy is the anchor in his family, he's always been a protector and always been the worker. When he was younger, maybe he wondered if things would get easier once he got bigger and stronger. Heavy uses his strength to protect by being violent.

I'm trying to make something of myself/ My better days, I go buy the hard sell/ But I feel like I'm working with barbed wire and moth wings/ 'Cause I can't really get a hold of many things.

Maybe as a child, Heavy had to put a lot of pressure on himself to grow. On Genius lyrics, a summary reads:

"The narrator is trying to improve themself in an aggressive matter, but they’re too rough on themselves, making them feel fragile. In being so hard on themselves, they feel like change is unobtainable."

What we do know about Heavy is this: Heavy has always had to fight and protect. He's probably had to grow up early, and he's tough on himself. To be stronger. To protect his sisters and family. He cares about them more than anything and is willing to push himself to do anything for them. This can also be interpreted in the sense that he works extraordinarily hard, physically, to protect people. Pushing himself past his bodily limits, as seen in End of the Line.

Is it me? Is it really just me?/ Does everybody have it together or are we all pretending?

I don't think Heavy is perfectly mentally sane, but he has to be essentially a calming anchor around him or they'd probably also fall apart. The rest of the song repeats mostly, but that's the reason I chose Hard Sell for Heavy.

MEDIC - Ribs

Medic is an interesting character to me. I knew I wanted to do this song due to the religious themes in it (as he talks to satan), and also because of the general themes of innards. KEEP IN MIND, THIS TALKS ABOUT THE AMORALITY OF MEDIC. I AM NOT SAYING HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HIS TEAM, HE DOES. But he is also amoral.

Marrow made a wife of Eve/ But no one gave up a rib for me and mine/ My hearts did expose to the elements/ Calloused and untouched by a man's design

Medic isn't a man of god, he's not pure or holy. He's untouched by morality and what is good or bad. He's pure, unadulterated curiousity and mania. His heart was exposed to what we can assume is the worst of humanity, and thus all morals were thrown out the window.

Oh, my ugly organs/ How lucky we are

Whereas one may pity Medic for his insanity and lack of moral compass, he sees this as an absolute win. He's lucky he's untouched by innocence.

Oh, my savage empire/ How lucky we are/ Never to be moved by the words of a liar

He's reinstating he's once again lucky for being a dealer with Satan rather than god. He knows God won't be able to give him what he wants, Satan? Satan can. Satan will. He will become immortal one way or another.

The dark doesn't frighten me/ I chose to close my eyes/ It is mine, it is mine/ The night doesn't frighten me/ I chose to let it thrive/ It is mine, it is mine

This lyric really is why I chose Ribs. The dark, evil and inhumane parts of himself is not something he chooses to hide, to close away and deny. He embraces that part of him that others may urge to hide. He is not afraid of his evil, Medic chooses it. Sometimes we forget how demented Medic is. He betrays everyone to join TFC, he brought Sniper back to life, he DECAPITATED BLU SPY AND LEFT HIM IN A FRIDGE WHILE ALIVE. Medic is evil, he's cruel and merciless but in a way that is so honest and open and endearing that exudes confidence and choice.

SNIPER - The Wolf

Sniper, I knew very early on as in media he's compared to a Wolf quite often, and the themes align well. Sniper struggles quite a bit with proving he's not a crazed gunman. That he's 100% sane and is rather a calculated killer. He's aware he's a bad person and sort of embraces it in a sort.

I am not a builder/ I’m much better at blowing things down

Sniper is a person who destroys. Destroys heads and lives specifically. He's aware of this and embraces it through his unconventional career choice.

I am not a tempest/ I light torches in my sleep/ I have gasoline in my veins/ I am always burning, burning, burning

Sniper is destructive, he's a controlled fire of sorts. A killer, but not an insane one but that intense passion he has for his job, seen through his voicelines, burn despite the controlled aspect.

I am a falling axe/ I am a sharpened knife/ I am a poison asp/ I am a risk to your life

Sniper is a highly dangerous man and a bad person, a wolf in sheeps clothing of sorts as he's not that dangerous looking. On the inside, he's a cold heartless killing machine, at least when he's on the job.

Can it be/ Can it be easy for once/ Cause I’m no good at being kind to myself/ Or anyone

This part will be making a few assumptions: we can guess that Sniper has some sort of insecurity as having your parents constantly berate you for your job probably stings. Especially when you love them more than anything. Wanting to crave that approval so so badly, yet struggling so much to connect with people as he's on the job 24/7. He's not kind to himself- or anyone else. He's a prowling beast looking for his next kill, not some schoolboy making friends.

A single video made me fall in love with Sniper as a character and its because of his relationship with his parents. It's eight years old but holds up to this day. Here.

SPY - Empty Page

This is the reason I made this post. Spy is, and will always be, a nobody person. He doesn't have a stable identity due to his career and even when telling his son that he is his father, he can't show his face. Being a spy has mental health repercussions when it comes to your identity, and this has always fascinated me about Spy.

I’m just a ten cent copy/ Of people far more advanced than me/ Every thought that I’ve ever had/ Could be ripped from a magazine

Instantly, you can tell why this song is Spy. Spy is a ten cent copy of people, he's a copycat, a liar. He literally steals the identity of people to play a role, he isn't a person. He's a blank canvas to LITERALLY project onto!

Cut me a path, and I will follow it/ Draw me a line, and I’ll avoid it/ I’m nothing if not obedient

Spy is an obedient worker who will do anything and everything he's told to... again. It's Spy.

I am an empty page/ A muddled shade of paint/ I am a light that’s burning out

Spy is an amalgamation of all the people he has had to be in the past, he is an empty page, he is a color of paint that in unique because he's people clipped together from magazines. Spy isn't a person, he doesn't even have a name. He is JUST. A. SPY.

Years of imitating mastery/ Only made me a better thief

Again. He's an imitation of people who he's needed to be. Despite him maybe being the main reason I made this post, this song is so straightforward and blatant in why it's Spy, I can't add a lot of commentary.

BONUS: SPY & SCOUT - Never Love an Anchor

Never Love an Anchor, despite the dozens of animatics and popular belief, is not about romance. It's about family. The romantic interpretation is so.. upsetting since the song literally cannot be romantic due to some lyrics but whatever. Anyways, Spy's POV to Scout. I know I said I would only highlight the important lyrics, but this one is a special case.

On some level, I think I always understood/ That these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever/ And I tried to do the best that I could/ But try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to hold you

Spy has hands meant for lockpicking and killing, not holding a child close and making a family. God did he love Scout, but he couldn't dare look his child in his face knowing that beneath the facade of a father, he was an empty shell. Spy has hands meant for murder, not creating.

It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest/ With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful/ There is love that doesn't have a place to rest/ But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders

Spy will never tell Scout the truth. He cannot, will not or will ever be able to because of his cowardice and for Scout's safety. He doesn't regret leaving, he knows it was for the better, but god does he feel so much guilt and shame for leaving. For being a Spy. He would've gotten Scout and his family killed if he stayed with them, and he didn't want to have to bury his own child. If he loved, he'd hurt.

There are times when I still wonder about you/ You are someone I have loved, but never known/ And you'll never see the reasons I had/ For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you

He sees Scout everyday, seeing the son he never had become a boy strong and agile. He wants to know about Scout, he wants to be there, but can never tell him why he couldn't hold him. Why Spy had to leave.

I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel, I am all the things they might have said to you/ Do you ever think of me and my two hands?/ And wonder why they never soothed your fevers?/ And wonder why they never tied your shoes?/ And wonder why they never held you gently?/ And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?

Spy is a bad person, and he hoped Scout wouldn't end up the same. It's not too late for Scout to turn his life around. But Spy doesn't have that right— the right to act like a father. He never held Scout, never raised him, never took care of him, never taught him. Never helped him. He never had a chance to lose his son out of fear of losing him. It was a lose lose situation, but at least this way Scout isn't dead.

God. This song.

BONUS: PAULING & THE ADMINISTRATOR - The Moon Will Sing

The moon will sing a song for me/ I loved you like the sun/ Bore the shadows that you made/ With no light of my own/ I shine only with the light you gave me/ I shine only with the light you gave me

Pauling's entire being is centered about the Administrator and it's incredibly sick and codependant. Pauling is nothing without the woman who gave her everything, so she will have to work endlessly to make her happy, right?

Ending Thoughts

Woo! That was a long one. It took 5 days to write this all due to me rereading all the source medias several times. I hope you enjoyed this, please leave your thoughts on this. I like to reread the source medias of my fandoms at least once a year to refresh my headcanons and such. This was that.

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darkfictionjude · 5 months ago

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Etymology nonnie here!

Now I'm really interested on playing the demo. But I'll wait.

Luce seems to be a very different MC to what I had in mind. They seem rather a lovable and cherished person. I almost feel tempted to believe they could be played as the kind of goodie two shoes I often play... If it wasn't because this is a Mafia IF. At least, I think, some grey morality is to be expected.

Yet, it's hard for me to not conceive Luce as this kind of lovable person. I mean, their nickname literally means "light", and while I understand it's possible for that to have negative associations, which often are specific to a particular piece of media, in most cases light is considered a good thing.

This seems to be the opposite situation to WWC MC. At least, in the surface. But this is a Mafia related family, and your writing, so I expect some disfunctional family drama. Also, you've mentioned an incident. I have no idea what it could be. And I'm questioning myself if it's going to be an event of which we will get more information as the story goes, or just the backstory (or both: is the backstory, and we get some information, but as the story goes more data is given to us, which is almost what happens in WWC and the incident of 1992, if I recall correctly).

There is also the fiancé(e) situation. It's really interesting for them to not be an RO. I can just assume either (since you confirmed Sam does not die at the beginning):

1) Sam or Luce do something that demands the break of the betrothal. Like cheating or something of that sort. Or maybe something more violent (although I doubt would physically abuse Luce, simply because of the possible consequences that could fall to them from hurting Luce).

2) The marriage is for convenience only, and has little validity. Luce and Sam are then free to romance anyone they want, as long as they do it discreetly. Personally I doubt this is the case (although it does remind me of the setup of some IFs), simply because the other characters and the setting are too conservative for such a dynamic (unless it's only agreed between both Luce and Sam, and everyone else is none the wiser). But it would be an interesting relationship dynamic nonetheless.

3) Following from 2, the marriage can also be a lavender marriage for Sam (and/or Luce, depending on customization, maybe). So, both are free to have relationships outside of the marriage and the marriage is a front. And so Sam and Luce are friends. I do like this dynamic a lot, and it would be, perhaps, the case for my own Luce, since I always play as a gay man (since that's what I am in real life).

4) Either Sam or Luce are kidnapped or something on those lines, and so the betrothal does not continue because of this. I doubt this is the case, not because it's unlikely for either to get kidnapped, but because it could be complicated to fit as the beginning incident. And because it makes Luce an asshole if Sam is kidnapped and they began to have something with someone else in the meanwhile. Which is not something I'm against to, but it would be a weird thing to force in an IF, I guess.

5) Sam has to leave for whatever reason. If male maybe he has to do military service or something. But I don't know what to do with a female Sam. In any case, I think this has some likelihood, but it's a bit weird too.

6) Sam breaks up with Luce for whatever reason (may be amicable, or nasty). They remain a character present in the story, but they just don't continue being romantically involved.

Alas, there are many possibilities. And me theorizing does not get me closer to the answer. I'll just have to wait.

That said, I've fantasizing about the idea of my Luce in particular being a very loving and kind fiancé. Like pampering and romantic. But, in truth, he is not straight. He believes he is because of his environment and how he was raised, but then... Boom, begins to feel attracted to a man. And his world is upside down.

As of now, I'm unsure if I'll go for Dante or Lazlo. Dante feels like a fun unhinged character to romance, but I'm not fully convinced as of yet by his concept. I probably need to see how he is written before deciding, however. As for Lazlo, while the name reminds of a cartoon (Lazlo's camp), and I'm not that big of a fun of the name (nothing against it, I just don't vibe with it that much, although I enjoy it's Hungarian roots... A link with Imre, perhaps?), I'm fascinated by the concept of his character. Simply because there is obvious angst. Which is worsened because the obvious happy ending where Lazlo becomes officially a son of Antonio (by marrying Luce) is simply impossible because I'm playing as a man. And they both may envy each other, and want to trade places in a way... Maybe I'll romance Lazlo first. Then again, I'll have restraint and wait for the demo before making any choices.

Finally, I know you are put in a weird spot when we comment about our MCs names, since is not something you control. That said, I've been thinking about my Luce's name. Obviously it has to be something Italian, or at least an adaptation to English of an Italian name. And I'll probably want something that begins with "L" or "Lu" or "Luc-" so the nickname can also make sense with both their personality and their real name.

But so far I have not decided yet what I want. So I'll probably comment something about it in the future. Funnily enough, all the names I'm thinking about are also Spanish names, at least for spelling. It reminds me of my days studying romance languages historical Linguistics for fun. Good memories.

Since I have not asked a question (well, I do basically try to figure out the situation with Sam, but it's clear you want to keep it a secret for now, so you won't answer that), so, I'll ask something. So far, what has been the most interesting theme/character/character dynamic of EC to you? And is there something you are very excited to share and yet no one has brought up? It may be too early for that, yet I'll ask anyway.

Yeah “light” can be both a good and a bad. It can bring joy or burn you. It’s a crossroads of what Luce can be. And yes I want to give the sense that Luce has a fairly good life, they’re loved. But you can’t be a healthy family when your relatives torture and kill people it’s dysfunctional by the very nature of their wealth. Is your father a good father if he hugs you with the hands he uses to strangle someone else? To me it would be too simple to have a crime family and that they all hate each other and are a abusive like the Crowns, it’s more fun and fascinating if they by all intents and purposes are a loving family

Lazlo is just because I like how unusual it is. It doesn't have any connection to Imre or WWC, as I don't want that and because they don't take place in the same universe. EC and OHYS are the only ones set in the same world

Ah the Big Sam Mystery continues…

To the most interesting theme is how far can a person be willing to go for revenge? And then when they get it what happens next? Can they ever go back to what they were before? Or are they lost in what they’ve become?

To my most interesting character is probably Dante due to his sheer insanity, the most interesting dynamic though is of Luce and a person who I haven’t mentioned yet they aren’t in the intro but who starts a bit of a cat and mouse game with Luce

An interesting thing for this game is that you can become a mafia boss or you can pretend to be one, two different streams of motivation and gameplay, one leads to revenge and the other to justice

#asks #Luce #EC lore #EC

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sparrowsupportgroup · 1 year ago

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What do you like about ais? I need to talk about this man and I’m never shutting up

Oh I could talk about Ais for DAYS!

When I first got into Touchstarved, I didn’t expect to like Ais as much as I do now. My first impression of him was that he was gonna be the stereotypical stoic, cold-hearted character that takes themselves too seriously - I mean, that’s what I got when I saw his “expecting mercy was your first mistake” quote.

But then when I got to him in the demo and saw his CG for the first time, I instantly LIT UP. He immediately triggered a lot of happy hormones in my brain and I was like “oh this is my MAN!” He truly had me at that first little sparrow line.

Like I was literally smiling ear to ear interacting with him because he’s genuinely funny and he’s incredibly charming. His banter with us is what really sold me on him.

I like that he has a sense of humor and he likes to tease people and despite being so intimidating, he has a bleeding heart attached to his sleeve that’s spilling out softness that either no one notices or cares for and it’s SAD.

On a psychological level, I think why I’m so attached to Ais to the point he’s even a comfort character to me is the themes that he represents; the themes of loneliness, isolation, and emotional dysregulation that’s associated with Ais are what speak to me the most, especially the emotional dysregulation. Struggling with anger outbursts is difficult enough; having rage issues while constantly being demonized(no pun intended it) for it and misunderstood because of it is a nightmare and it’s part of the reason why I feel so drawn to him.

The fact he’s self-conscious of his image to us with the whole three bad impressions thing is really endearing because he doesn’t want to scare us off! He tentatively hoping you’ll still talk to him because he wants a friend! He wants someone that isn’t afraid of him! And that’s so real because he’s probably been alienated his whole life up to that point and I relate so hard to that. And I relate to the implied abandonment issues he’s dealing with since the disappearance of his gang because his feelings are still clearly hurt about it, like mine are over the endings of some friendships I experienced recently.

Also gender envy on my part because he’s really cool and formidable and well-respected and dominant and exemplifies why I like monsters in the first place; he’s hypermasculine in a way that’s riveting to me because I started swooning like a schoolgirl when he beat the shit out of that roughneck after he shoved us; that’s the toxic masculinity I can honestly get behind.

(I also love the fact he has pointy ears and horns and likes being bitten, it’s all very cute to me)

I hope this long ass post makes sense😭and thank you for the ask! Please send me more asks, I love talking to y’all🫶🏾

#sparrow asks #sorry if this is a bit of a ramble #ais makes me feel a lot of emotions😭

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yukidragon · 2 years ago

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Sunny Day Jack Headcanons - Alice and Ian's Breakup

I wound up going on a bit of a ramble in a thread over on twitter yesterday about the breakup between Ian and Alice. My friend @sai-of-the-7-stars suggested that I put it in a tumblr too, so here we go, with some extra thoughts and commentary. After all, once you get me going on a ramble it's hard to stop me, hahahaha.

Before I begin, I'll quickly link to some previous theories that relate to this discussion, such as why Ian cheated, a few spicy details about Alice and Ian's sex life, reasons why Alice can't bring herself to hurt Ian, her family's reactions to his cheating, and other assorted headcanons relating to the two of them and their breakup here, here, here, and here. I'm probably missing some links to relevant prior discussions, but there are so many headcanons at this point that even a search engine isn't enough to sort through them all, haha.

Disclaimer: these headcanons apply to my personal fan made continuity known as Sunshine in Hell and don't necessarily reflect the game. No doubt the actual relationship between MC and Ian is going to have a different set of nuances to it than I'm exploring in my writing. Not to mention each MC is unique and the branching paths of the game will lead to different outcomes between these two.

Also, content warning: this post will discuss a relationship turned toxic, unhealthy levels of emotional dependency, codependency, emotional manipulation, self-loathing, past traumas, religious guilt, and just unhealthy relationship dynamics in general. This is an Adults Only game and touches on mature topics after all.

With that out of the way, let's discuss how Alice tried to end her relationship with Ian before the start of Sunshine in Hell... which, as we can see in chapter 6, was less than successful.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, Ian really needs therapy. Thanks to a lifetime of abuse at the hands of his toxic mother, not to mention the bullying and isolation he received from his peers while growing up, he has a lot of issues. Really, I'd argue he probably needs therapy more than he needs a relationship right now.

Alice isn't ignorant of that fact. Her coming to the realization that a lot of their relationship revolved around her trying to help fix his issues for him was pretty much the key that led her to choosing to end things for good. As much as she wants to help Ian, as much as she loves him... she can't fix him. No one should be expected to fix anyone else's issues... especially if they've given up on the idea that they can get better.

Ian's self-confidence is... pretty miserable, to be frank. We've seen plenty of examples of it in the demo and in teasers. He depends on his partner to be the strong one. He doesn't see himself being able to handle going on without them... He sees MC as the strong one, and he pretty much is so used to being torn down that he tears himself down preemptively, constantly feeling the need to apologize.

Alice did try to help Ian with his confidence. Since the first day they met, she has been there for him, supported him, cared for him deeply... and eventually loved him more than anyone else. She defended him from bullies, held him whenever he cried, reassured him that he's better than what everyone else has said, listened to him vent, and accepted every apology he's given her regardless if he actually made a mistake or not.

She accepted his apologies even if he didn't actually understand what he did wrong.

There were good moments between them, but Ian kept needing Alice's support. He couldn't handle standing on his own. He depended on her to the point that it was crushing. Things would have been more balanced between them if he shouldered some of the weight of her problems as well, but he couldn't handle them. He was convinced he couldn't. He wasn't strong like her.

Ian was supportive, but it was a far more fragile support, one that crumbled so very easily as the pressure overwhelmed him.

Alice is the oldest child in a large and loving family. She's been the responsible child, helping with all the younger siblings. She coped with being sick with something incurable, and never let the bullies see her cry. She stood up to Ian's mother directly for his sake, something that he could never bring himself to do. She always seemed so much larger than life to him even though they were the same age. She always seemed better than him, at least in his eyes.

Ian couldn't understand why Alice struggled with self-confidence issues. Maybe it was his fault? If it was, he's sorry. He thinks she's beautiful and other people are weird. He doesn't like them like he likes her. If she's feeling bad, then it must be his fault, and he's so sorry...

Essentially, Ian was so ready to take the blame for everything... including his partner's own problems. This left Alice needing to reassure him on top of handle her own issues.

So it was just easier for Alice not to talk about issues with Ian. She just dismissed her problems as something she could handle. She can deal with it. She's oldest in her house. She's mature. She's smart. Heck, she was gifted in school. Gifted kid burnout what's that?

Ian doesn't have support like Alice does. His family doesn't love him. His only family abuses him. He needs her. He needs her understanding. He doesn't mean to hurt her. Heck, he's feeling bad because she's feeling bad. How can that be toxic behavior?

That's why it took Alice so long to accept that what she and Ian had wasn't a healthy relationship. She was supporting the emotional weight for both of them, and Ian thought that supporting her financially would balance that scale... though he didn't think he could make it on his own.

The signs were there even before Ian left for his prestigious school. The long distance relationship made their problems worse, since Ian didn't have Alice to support him in the way he was used to. There were scheduling problems and suddenly he had all these friends that were demanding his time. He had connections he needed to forge, a chance at actually making it in the future... and he got a taste of popularity for the first time. He got to see that other people weren't as weird or off-putting as he convinced himself they were...

Supporting Ian over phone calls and messaging aps was harder for Alice to do than in person. She couldn't hold him while he cried. She struggled for words sometimes, as verbal conversations are her weak point. Texting was easier in that regard, but that was so impersonal to Ian. He needed to hear her voice and see her face.

Whenever Ian had a problem, he brought it to Alice, asking her what he should do. Over time he leaned on her advice more as they grew. He depended on her when they were living together and even after moving he needed her help... though there were things he would keep secret from her for fear that she wouldn't understand. After all, he felt so much shame towards himself and his desires...

The cheating was the breaking point for the two of them, but even then that wasn't the end right away. Despite Alice being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning and accidentally injuring herself after finding out... she wanted to forgive Ian. He was sorry. She knew that was sorry. She knew him better than anyone. She believed his story that it just happened... that he just got swept up by the other person's charms and lost control of himself.

After all, Ian had a history of losing control of himself when it came to sex.

There were couples that did come back from cheating. It wasn't impossible, and Alice didn't want the relationship to be over. She wanted so badly to believe that it was just another mistake made by Ian. Poor, clumsy, apologetic Ian... the only one who could ever love or desire her...

But this wasn't healthy. Their relationship after this while trying to repair things was so much worse. Alice couldn't even handle kissing Ian, and the guilt struck him each time she asked for more time before she could handle physical intimacy with him again. Before, she could power through even being choked or rough sex despite hating it, but now...

It felt wrong. His "I love you" and all those promises that she was the only one for him felt like lies. Ian still spent time with those friends of his who crossed boundaries, not even completely cutting off the person he cheated with. He couldn't due to the connections he was forming to further his career. He was just starting out, and those connections would make or break everything. He had to smile for the camera and socialize. He had to become successful.

It was the only way to make his cheating worth it at that point. It was the only way Ian could see repairing what he had broken.

It was hellish for both of them. Alice eventually was forced to realize that this wasn't what a relationship was supposed to look like - romantic or otherwise. With the help of her friends like Shaun and some of her family, she was able to accept that there really was no coming back from this.

Their relationship had been sick for a long time, and the cheating was the final blow that killed it. Nothing good would come from trying to force its corpse to keep moving even as it continued to rot.

Really, what helped Alice manage the strength to end things was knowing that this was damaging Ian as well. She was so used to just accepting her own pain for his sake that it really was what was needed to make her see that this self-sacrifice wasn't good for either of them.

Alice realized that she wasn't Ian's support like she always thought she was - she was his enabler. She let him use her in order to feel better, more like a bandage over his issues than a person. She had become more like a narcotic he depended on to hobble through the day rather than taking real steps to get better.

So, when Alice decided that it had to end, she wrote down everything she wanted to say. It was the only way she would be able to force him to see the truth like she did. She wanted Ian to get help, go to therapy, explore what he really wanted out of life... without her. Without considering her at all in the future. He had to be independent of her... and she needed to be independent of him.

The relationship was too toxic. The trust was gone. It was best for both of them if they went their separate ways.

Love isn't supposed to hurt this badly.

Ian, of course, couldn't accept this. Alice couldn't even read out the entire speech she wrote down before he was on his knees in tears, begging her not to give up on him, on them... to not throw him away like everyone else. He made mistakes, but he'll do better. He's so sorry! He loves her!

Ian always had a way of knowing how to make Alice want to protect him.

It's hard ending things with someone you love, even if you know it's what's best for the both of you.

Try as she might, Alice couldn't be harsh on Ian. She couldn't yell and scream or smash things... she felt so bad for him. She still loved him so, so much... wanted the world for him... and that love was stifling his growth... and slowly killing her.

The best Alice could do was a compromise. A break. They would be broken up "for now." They needed to give each other space if there was any hope of them reconciling in the future.

It was the biggest lie Alice ever told Ian, and he was desperate enough to believe it.

To Alice there is no chance. It hurts too much. That's why she left their shared apartment, left behind anything she could afford to that had too many memories attached to Ian. Anything she couldn't, she has to try and work through her own issues with in her new place.

She didn't tell him where she moved.

To Ian, this is just a break. That's all it is. This is just like if one of them went off to camp for a week before they got cell phones and couldn't make contact. They'll get back together. He just has to fix things. He has to make what he did worth it. He has to get them the house they always dreamed off in the place they always wanted to raise kids in... plenty of money to take care of them both where Alice never has to worry about anything ever again, not even him cheating...

But Ian knows they're on the brink. Alice doesn't call him or send him messages, and that's terrifying. He did give her some time at first. Maybe a week or two... but she wasn't posting on her social medias. He didn't know what she was up to. Was she eating or taking care of herself? She skipped meals sometimes. She overworked herself so much. She hurt herself badly before without him. What if she was in the hospital again? Who would tell him?

So Ian stalks Alice on her socials. He contacts anyone who knows her and is still willing to try and mediate things between them, like Coraline and a couple mutual friends. He sends her voice mails and messages so she won't forget him, making sure she knows he's sorry and that he'll fix things.

Ian is willing to apologize every day for the rest of his life if it'll fix things.

Alice never answers him, and that only makes him more desperate to hear from her. It's what leads him to leaving so many voice mails. He's not blocked, and he knows she didn't change her number since he still hears her sweet voice asking callers to leave a message... but she never gets back to him.

Ian makes posts about stuff she would like on his socials, hoping to spark conversations, trying to provoke a response, but they don't. Sometimes he tags her with things he knows she likes. He knows he's not blocked so she must see them. He tagged them properly!

They know each other better than anyone, right? Ian knows more about Alice than even her family knows. Even when things ended, he knew she loves him, even if he couldn't understand why she would insist on taking a break despite them loving each other...

They'll get over this. They have to. They've come back from other rough patches. They still love each other. It's just a break. Alice said so herself. Eventually... as long as Ian just tries harder to fix things... things will be okay between them in the end... right?

Every message from Ian is hell to Alice. Every tear he sheds because of her is like acid on her skin. She wants to scream at him to just stop since it hurts so much... but she can't because she knows he's hurting too.

Alice ended things. She had to be strong for both of them. She always had to be the strong one. The only way things would get better is if she stays strong and never says a word to Ian again. Eventually... he'll figure out that he doesn't need her... that he shouldn't need her like he convinced himself does.

The sad thing is that Ian is aware that Alice still cares. If she didn't, she would have blocked him. She wouldn't let his messages get through. He doesn't know if she's listening to his messages, but he still sends them with the hope that she is, that something he says somehow makes things right.

Ian, unfortunately, isn't self-aware of how manipulative he's being. It hasn't really clicked that this is far beyond Alice being hurt by him cheating or upset by him "not measuring up as a partner" as he believes it to be. He's not seeing his toxic traits and wasn't really listening when Alice tried to tell him what the real problems were in that final speech when they broke up.

Ian knows he's a crappy partner. He knows he's all these awful things people said he was that Alice used to reassure him that he wasn't. This just proves it. He just has to make everything worth it in the end, give her things she needs that can make her feel proud of having a successful partner like him, someone actually worthy of being partners with someone so kind and giving...

This is why Ian needs therapy so badly. He's focusing on the wrong issues without really understanding what he's really doing to Alice that's so damaging. He is the pitiful victim, substandard and pathetic, needing someone stronger than him to love him despite his flaws.

Ian was focusing so much on what's wrong with him and what he thinks he needs to improve that he doesn't realize how much he's taking from Alice... and he doesn't really listen to what he needed to give in return in order for them to be equal as partners.

All relationships are about give and take from both sides. Unfortunately, Alice kept giving and Ian kept taking.

Apologies aren't enough when a person keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. Eventually even, "I'm sorry," can be repeated until the words become utterly meaningless.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask

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firefly--bright · 1 year ago

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all my daughters.

jean kirstein x gender neutral!reader (modern au)

summary : the crushing weight of everything and everyone changing is a bit too much. jean wants to bear the burdens with you.

warnings : hurt/comfort, mostly just therapy for my crumbling mental state, amateur symbolisms (?), established relationship, no use of y/n (im trying smth new) not proofread!!!!!

a/n : this is kinda like flaws but worse? idk I just needed to write something to comfort me and I'll be nothing if I don't use my writing to fix me <3 anyway! self projection as always but I love you if you relate to this and I'm always here to listen if you need someone to talk to. I'm also probably gonna take a hiatus after this fic but we'll see (I'm here to talk to regardless of that!) <3 i honestly don't expect this fic to get that much traction but anyway! enjoy!

taglist : @holding-ishu-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody

masterlist is linked in pinned post! ✿ requests for jean kirstein are open! ✿ enter my taglist ✿

inspired by these songs : all my daughters (demo) by dodie

ajib dastan hai yeh by Lata Mangeshkar

you were used to contradictory sentences. double negatives that were only meant to confuse you, double positives that you thought meant anything but, adorned with a sarcastic smile and a roll of the eyes that left you needing to figure the meaning out yourself.

jean was a walking contradictory sentence. he was a walking double negative, one that you didn't know how to understand. he was blunt but sweet, cold and warm, never being in one spot with his feelings, always on his feet but not running away. somehow he stayed.

all your friends were moving on. every one - sasha was moving out with her boyfriend niccolo, a chef who she had become extremely close to over the past year and who treated her in the highest of regards. your other roomate, Mikasa, was also moving out, but not with her boyfriend, eren, as you had suspected but instead for a chase of starting a new flourishing business of selling handcrafted oxidised jewellery online. that and being closer to eren, she had explained to both you and sasha.

Marco wasnt moving, per say, but he was already applying for his masters in law to broaden his perspective, and there was a prospect of him going abroad for his soon to approach future. he was currently visiting his extended family. Connie, surprisingly, was the first of your friend group to actually get a job at a marketing firm, and even if it was sort of exhausting, people praised Connie's charms and puns that made people buy the products. he was also helping Mikasa with her business, alongside eren and armin.

jean, currently making dinner for the pair of you in your mostly empty apartment, was also interning for an architectural firm. well, he hadn't started yet, but he did get accepted with the interview he gave last month.

and you? even though you were currently looking for new roomates to occupy the now empty spaces in the apartment, you felt lost. sure, you had a plan, and had also applied for a handful of internships, but that didn't mean you knew what you were doing.

you were used to keeping things and people in boxes. it started ever since you were in middle school and had just heard about books like Harry Potter and divergent, books that had a clear distinction of which people belonged where. you'd define people with those distinctions so it was easy to figure them out; it was easier to think of someone in a faction or Hogwarts houses or godly parent instead of actually trying to figure them out with all their complexeties. eventually it graduated into astrological signs that were probably all bullshitted anyway, and into MBTI types. there was always an explanation for something, and if it wasn't given them you'd find it out for yourself as you always had. but you couldn't go by those simple classifications anymore. they were too narrow and too claustrophobic.

but you also hated too-wide expanses that came with simply existing. the expanse of your unknown lifespan, the limitlessness of unlimited time, the enormous amount of things you had yet to learn. it was easy to get lost in nothing. how did your friends and family and all the people around you ever manage to make a clear path for themselves with a multitude of stops and landmarks when you didn't even have the basic gravel and stone and concrete to get started on making a road for yourself? would you be yet another chapter that ended in a fullstop in their thick books that they'd flip away from? the change - the uncertain steps - were never something you looked forward to.

helping mikasa and sasha move out was a challenge, another full stop in their books, helping Connie by teaching him how to properly format professional emails was another landmark that he passed, seeing Marco off at the airport before he caught his flight was another certain step.

the wide tumultous blue of the sea that you were floating in and it's unnerving depth used to be somewhat manageable. you had been swimming with your friends for a long time until your fingertips got all shriveled up, but now it seemed as though they had all swam away from you and towards a shore they were looking forward to, but you werent. the horizon line was all you could see, and you dared not to open your eyes underwater to see how deep the water was.

you were happy for them, ofcourse you were. you loved them with all your heart, and sections of your essential heart were left only for them with their names carved into the ridges of your brain. but the change was too much, too empty, too wide, too limitless, too uncertain.

a knock on the wood of your bedroom door made you turn your swivel chair towards the noise, and jean stood there against the doorframe, leaning on it. "dinner's ready. didn't know which movie to watch, though." he said, and only half of his words are registered by your ears.

you nod, your lips quirking up only slightly. "I'll be there in a bit," you say, watching Jean's brows knit closer together. you loved the way his forehead crinkled in obvious worry and concentration, but you didn't have the tongue to speak out your admirations.

he tilts his head. ever the observant, he asks, "what's wrong?"

his tone is patient. his words demand acknowledgement.

you sigh a little, knowing you can't hide anything from him. you thanked that quality of his, even if it was a little inconvenient at times, because his unrelenting persistence was the reason you felt so loved today, the reason you and jean had gotten closer in the first place.

your shoulders slump, "i dont know how to explain it," you say, because it's true, but also because even if you could explain it, you wouldn't know where to begin. but you begin anyway, even though you know it would end with you trailing off. jean would understand anyway as he always had. "just.... everything's changing... and I, i dont know, i dont really like change, I guess." there's a pause and you refuse to look at his face which you're sure is observing yours carefully as he always does. "it's just...too much." you say, shrugging at the end. "it's too much and I don't know how to deal with this. like everyone's dealing with it better than I am and I don't even know if I've....if I've grown much, if at all. i dont know what I'm supposed to do. i dont know what my role is, like i just, i wish there was an author writing my life so I'd know what to do because I don't know how to...how to do everything myself. i-" you didn't know when the lump had formed in your throat, refusing to be swallowed down anymore after being ignored for months on end. "i dont know anything, jean, and it's scary." you say, and your eyes don't shed tears even if theyre stinging. you wish you could cry just to get it over with.

you were probably overreacting. everyone was doing so great with themselves, and at the end of the day, it wasn't a big deal. so what if everyone would move on with their lives? wasn't that what was supposed to happen? so what if your friends would probably forget you? shouldn't you be glad that you had them in the first place? wasn't it better to have felt alive for the first time than to not have felt it in the first place?

warm and sturdy arms wrapped around your unshaken frame, and you were pulled away from your rolling chair to sit down on your bed. the mattress dipped comfortably under you as it always had and jean smelt like he always did and you took comfort in the predictability. your sheets would smell the same today and tomorrow and the day after, your clothes would be in the same closet, your mirror would be in its same place in the bathroom and jeans arms would always hold you softly.

he held you for a couple minutes as you wallowed in your own sea. your legs were in his lap, leaning your weight on his arms. your eyes were closed, and you felt his warm hands rubbing circles in their place on your thigh and on your back.

you speak again, feeling the need to be understood even though you already were. "i just wish that... that I could freeze time whenever I have a good day." you say, and it's the final nail in your coffin and the final scoop of dirt on your grave. it's all you have to say, it's all jean needs to hear as he holds you a little tighter.

he hums in thought, no doubt thinking of a proper response. sometimes you wish you could take a peek inside his head, just to see, even for a useless moment, what he was thinking about. and more selfishly, if it was about you.

but that didn't matter because who was jean if he didn't speak his mind? his cheek rests on the top of your head and you can feel his warmth, and you wish you could let his warmth spread all over you, you wish that it would ignore the barrier of your skin and go straight to your organs and muscles because your warmth hadn't felt like it had been yours for a very long time and Jean's heat would be much more than welcome. but that was wishful thinking and you feel him kiss the top of your head instead, and you accept it.

"you know," he finally starts, and you can hear his heartbeat. "when we first met I had one of the moments you're talking about. the want to like.... somehow freeze the moment and just relive it forever." he says. you don't move, you don't dare remove your head from his shoulder afraid that if you did, he'd be another thing lost to the depths of your mind.

he continued. "what I'm saying is, i know what you're scared of. that your friends will forget you and move on without you. but... i dont think they will. i dont think anyone can. don't you think just like you have parts of them in you that they have parts of you in them? I've seen it. sasha started talking like you like a month after you guys moved in together. Mikasa likes buying flowers now. Marco texts like you. Connie has so many jokes that only you'd understand. and i-" he says, cutting himself short with a small breathy chuckles that makes your heart dangerously stutter, "i dont think that, god forbid, if we were to ever not be together, i dont think that i would ever be able to forget you. but that's probably because I'm in love with you and that's not changing for atleast this lifetime," another short laugh, "i dont think any of our friends, any of your past friends could ever forget that you existed. i mean, you'd always be there. youd always exist even if it is in the back of their minds.

"and you don't have to know everything. it's not a race. it's just...a nice walk, if anything. you don't have anyone or anything to catch up to. you can take your time, love, and i know it's hard convincing yourself of that, but you can. and if it's any consolation," he says, grabbing your hand that had formed into a loose fist on your knee, encasing your hand in his, "I'm...I'll be here. even if we aren't talking, which I'm pretty sure won't happen, but even if it does, I'm here. i will be." he says, squeezing your fist.

his words breathe comfort into your lungs that rested inside the prison your ribs had become. your chest felt a little lighter, the stubborn knots in your stomach were slowly undoing themselves and maybe his words didn't undo any damage nor did they paint over it but they did help heal.

you breathe in deeply, burrowing yourself even further in his shoulder, and he thankfully gets the message as he holds you tighter, like he's the only twine holding you together. you nod, and he kisses the crook where your shoulders meet your neck.

"thank you," you whisper, something that could get lost in his clothes but he catches it and shakes his head. you know what he's going to say before he even says it and you smile a little.

maybe jean was a contradiction to himself, a double negative, a not not persistence. and maybe you did feel lost, maybe time had swam away from the desperate deathgrip you had on it. but jean was there. he wasn't a fullstop or a chapter, he was more of a "okay, and," sentence, something that continued over with a comma, and he wasn't a guide that held your hand towards the shore, but he was more of an insistent presence that helped you not drown by holding your hand. he wasn't the shore itself, but he did provide the comfort of finding footing against the depths.

not a race, not a stand, just a walk. a walk with your hand in Jean's, a walk with uncertain but hopeful steps.

not a book, not a chapter, just scribbles of incoherent but excited writing in a diary.

#jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschstein x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x you #aot #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan

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night-market-if · 2 years ago

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Hey Zinnia, I just received a very bad news to day (my childhood dog died 💔😭) and Milo (despite his flaws and all) have become one of my favorite fictional characters because I could relate to him a little emotionally. Can I request some fluffy/hurt/comfort moments with him (or if you can with Malcolm too? because he's a sweetheart and I'm def doing that poly). Thank you 🥺 I love Night market, it's so unique and refreshing. Thank you for creating these amazing and lovely characters! Much love and hope you'll continue creating more amazing projects in the future 💕

Malcolm's hand ran up and down my back in an attempt to soothe me. I didn't know when we had moved to stretch out on the couch, or how I landed on top of him with a soft blanket encompassing us both, but I wasn't complaining.

"Get some sleep," he was murmuring to me. "We'll figure out how to make this better tomorrow." But sleep of course wasn't going to come with the way that Milo burst through the door. He was a singular gunshot that echoed for miles.

"You are never going to guess what I just found down in Feebus's workshop," he was saying as he kicked off his boots and made his way inside. He stopped when he spied the two of us, tilting his head to the side instead. "I take it the news of the small mouse mafia beneath the floorboards is not going to be a welcome one."

Malcolm was giving him a look. A look that Milo was giving Malcolm right back. I sighed tiredly. "It was a bad day, Milo. Just a bad day."

That softened him. Coming over to the two of us he flung off the blanket and laid himself on top of us. Malcolm grunted beneath us, shifting so he could breathe. "You are the heaviest one here. You should be on bottom if we're gonna do this."

Milo ignored him. Instead, he placed a gentle kiss against my back. "Anything I can do, darlin'?"

I felt tears spring to my eyes, his voice suddenly so soft. "Make today go away?"

"Wish I could," he told me. Scooting so he could roll between Malcolm and I's connected form, and the couch cushions, he wrapped his arm firmly around the both of us. It was a precarious position but I knew neither of these men were about to let me fall. "Mal used to do something for me that always made me feel calmer when the world got too much," he whispered.

"What was that?" I turned, peering at him, willing to try anything at this point. Malcolm raised a brow, as if he was curious too.

"He used to do these camp outs," Milo said. "Bring every blanket from the bedroom and pile it on top of me. He then would buy me all the junk food and let me boss him around for a full twnety four hours."

"I never once did that."

"Shh," Milo said. "This is about your Lamplight. Not your addled brain."

I laughed a little, burying my face in Malcolm's chest. "Think you two could just do this for a while?" I asked.

Milo grinned, his freckles looking deeper in the soft light of the room. "Anything," he told me. "I'll do anything."

I let them shift around me, the two of them murmuring curses as knees and elbows banged into each other, but it was oddly comforting. Like a slow rock that lulled away the bad feelings of the day.

And for now, that was enough.

🪷✨🪷✨ If you want to support me 🪷 ✨🪷✨

Demo 🌿 Patreon 🌿 Ko-fi 🌿Discord

#the night market #answerings your prompts #milo/mal/mc #sorry for your loss

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taylor-on-your-dash · 1 year ago

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11 Questions With Taylor Swift (The Boot - Nov 5, 2007)

At the ripe old age of 17, Taylor Swift is already in the country music history books. She's the only female solo artist ever to write or co-write every song on a platinum-selling debut album. And though the songwriting prodigy is hard at work on her second album, she isn't quite ready to put the CD that's earned her numerous accolades to rest. Swift recently sat down with us to talk about beefing up her eponymous debut. And in true teenage fashion, we also gab about boys, high school drama and how she helped her buddy Kellie Pickler through a tough breakup.

Tell us what's included on the new 'Taylor Swift [Deluxe Edition]' project.

The album has been out for a year, but it's too early to put out the second studio album. But we wanted to give [the fans] more music. So this was an opportunity to put out three new songs and a bunch of exclusive content. I actually edited a home movie on my laptop, and it's on there as a special feature. There's my first phone conversation with Tim McGraw, all my music videos and a bunch of concert footage. The [new] songs are demos that I wrote when I was 15, trying to get a record deal. (x)

Is there a true story behind your current single, 'Our Song'?

I wrote this song in my freshman year of high school for my ninth grade talent show. I was sitting there thinking, "I've gotta write an upbeat song that's gonna relate to everyone." And at that time, I was dating a guy and we didn't have a song. So I wrote us one, and I played it at the show. Months later, people would come up to me and say, "I loved that song that you played." And then they'd start singing lines of it back to me. They'd only heard it once, so I thought, "There must be something here!" (x)

You've toured with some notorious pranksters, namely Rascal Flatts and Brad Paisley. What's the funniest joke that's been played on you?

Brad Paisley hasn't pranked me yet ... because he's afraid of me. [laughs] But Rascal Flatts had all of their crew take fold-out chairs and just sit on the stage during my performance. So there were eight guys, just sitting on stage reading the newspaper. And I'm playing right next to their faces, kinda hamming it up, trying to intimidate them. And I look in the newspapers they're reading, and there are Chippendales models in the newspapers! [laughs] (x)

We hear you wrote a song with Kellie Pickler for her next album.

Kellie came on my bus this summer and was all upset about her ex-boyfriend. She was like, "I just want to be over this!" And she gets up on stage now and tells everyone all about it. She's like [imitating Kellie], "He went out and got some other girl pregnant!" [laughs] And I'm like, "OK, if you want to tell everyone your personal stuff, but there's no better way to get over something than to write it all down." So we went into the back bedroom of my tour bus and wrote this awesome song. It's about how, for the rest of his life, he's going to regret cheating on her. And she's said to me since then, "You know what, I didn't think there was anything I could do to really get past that. But writing that song gave me complete closure." (x)

Is there anything you miss about high school?

I don't think there's really anything I miss, to be honest. There's a lot less drama when you're touring the country on a major tour. And I've actually been to prom before ... twice. So I don't want anyone to feel bad for me. It was really great that I got to experience those first two years of high school, and I'll never forget that. I learned a lot. But I feel like I've had the best senior year ever. (x)

How would you say your young age has helped you and how has it hurt you in the music business?

I think my age has helped me, because I can write about things I'm going through and girls my age can automatically relate. And I think [my age] has hurt me, because in the beginning, people were like, "Teenagers and country music? No way!" And I had interviewers who were dead-set on trying to get me to feel bad about how old I was. But you have to stand by who you are. I am 17-year-old girl, and I'm not ashamed of that. Age should not limit what you can accomplish. (x)

Is there a special guy in your life?

I'm completely single! I think that love is something that hits you when you're not looking for it. So I've been actively not looking for it for like two years. [laughs] I'm always the third wheel on my friends' dates. I have a bunch of best friends who never go more than a month without having a boyfriend. And I think that's kinda rubbed off on me, because I've seen the stuff they've gone through over the past two years. And I'm just like, "I'm gonna pursue my career instead." (x)

Garth Brooks has said that you are one of his daughters' favorite singers. Is that surreal to hear that a living legend is familiar with your music?

He is a living legend! And if you asked me who my hero is, I'd say Garth Brooks. I've met Garth's girls, they're wonderful. They came out to one of my shows. And it's just so unbelievable to see someone like Garth Brooks have kids who like my music. I'm like, "Are you kidding me? Your dad is Garth Brooks!" It's the coolest feeling ever. (x)

Do you have any other famous fans?

I was at the ACM Awards, and Emma Roberts came up to me backstage. She was like, "I just have to let you know, I'm announcing you tonight. And I'm a really big fan." And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm going to see your movie this weekend!" It was really cool. She's a sweetheart. (x)

Unlike a lot of other teen celebrities, you have managed to keep out of trouble. How do you resist temptation?

You have to surround yourself with good people who will tell you the things that maybe you don't want to hear -- the things you need to know to not do. I feel like I have an obligation to be responsible. I have a million people who went out and bought my album. Who knows how many of them were young girls? And I always think about the ten year old girl in the front row at my concert before I make a decision. "What would she think if she saw me do this? Would this affect her choices?" (x)

Out of all the milestones you've hit this year -- platinum sales, 8 weeks at No.1 on the country album charts, a CMT award, a CMA nomination -- what's been the highlight of your career?

The highlight of my career so far has been winning the CMT Breakthrough Video of the Year award. It's a fan-voted awards show, so I don't see any greater honor than winning an award that was voted on by fans. It was for my first video that I ever put out ['Tim McGraw'], and I'll never forget the feeling of just running ... bolting up to that stage. It was just the most amazing feeling. (x)

#don't mind this post #i'm compiling them here bc i don't want to put 11 different links in the interview spreadsheet #bc for some reasons the questions are broken down in 11 different pages #taylor swift #taylor swift interviews #writing of debut timeline

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dotthings · 2 years ago

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While I really, no really, do not care about the CW Network's goings on any further, the misguided takes still going on at the most popular CW Network stan account on twitter are just too much. I can't.

I find it so hard to relate to stanning a corporation and a platform this hard. I'm with the fans who are fans of the shows, and hurt because of losing the shows, that part I relate to, but I don't relate to this stanning of CW as an entity. I'm a fandom old and have been through 3 CEO's at the CW. I watched shows on UPN and The WB. I remember when The CW was formed. There is no era of The CW that hasn't made me feel like this was a dumpster fire of a platform, to greater or lesser degrees. When The CW was formed it wiped out a bunch of Black-led series on UPN. The CW was the evil network that people now think CW Nexstar is.

There was a brief period where I rethought my perceptions of it--at the height of the Arrowverse, back when Arrow was on the rise and spun off into The Flash and it was a very exciting time to me as a DC fan to have that. But it was short-lived and I quit the Arrowverse only a few seasons later.

There are good creatives who have done good work at The CW and I appreciate them, I also appreciate the more recent gen of shows that did seem to be course correcting on some systemic things that drove me nuts about many of the shows on The CW previously.

The evangelizing of Mark Pedowitz. Let's start there.

Mark Pedowitz, who showed he had no interest in SPN whatsoever beyond "maybe the franchise is only J2" and "we'll keep making more so long as the boys want to keep going" and that's all he ever had to say about it. He cared only for the draw of #1 and #2 on the call sheet, he never showed any sign he actually cared about the story, and he was immensely disrespectful about the show.

Pedowitz who said maybe SPN doesn't have any characters worthy of a spinoff.

Pedowitz playing to the very J2-only stanning toxics who are currently attacking Jensen Ackles and The Winchesters.

Pedowitz, who dissed Wayward Sisters. And no matter if that decision was actually over his head and out of his hands (it actually had to do with the CBS half of CW), there's no reason for that kind of tactless PR statement. "Not where we want it be creatively."

I find it hard to forgive all that, to this day. So excuse me if I'm not on board the Saint Pedowitz train.

Now, let's talk about this idealization that says that "they destroyed the network," they being Nexstar.

Oh I'm sorry. Excuse me, come again, WHO destroyed the network?

Who was it that operated it in the red?

Who was it that left such a mess where it was bleeding money and got to the point where The CW's owners, WB and CBS, realized that their loss leading, practically a tax shelter, actually never profitable, and making its money from streaming not linear, pseudo network, was no longer worth it and DECIDED TO SELL IT OFF.

To Nexstar. Who clearly love a challenge. Because they bought that mess and are trying to make it profitable, for reals, as a linear broadcast tv network that doesn't need to rely on a massive Netflix streaming deal just to pay the electricity bills. While overspending, over-renewing everything, and not giving a darn how deep in the hole it was making the platform.

And all of that. That era. Has fallen on the creatives and the shows and harmed the shows.

This is the consequences of that era.

This is The CW paying the piper. Oh, Nexstar ruined it? Are you SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??

And try for once, sorting ratings BY DEMO WHICH MATTERS MORE THAN TOTAL VIEWERS. Yeesh.

Paying attention to readily available, public articles of industry commentary is a good idea.

Less time uwu-ing over a corporation that screwed its own shows over for years and left an inherited mess behind for the new owners who then, from a business perspective, had no choice but to burn it all down and basically remake it from scratch. Causing a lot of hurt in the process.

CW Nexstar does not care about The CW's legacy or the shows people loved there from the past. They Need To Make a Profit.

The shows wouldn't have had to be treated like this if The CW, originally, had been managed in a way to make it sustainable.

And that is on everyone not just the previous CEO. That's on WB/CBS who really didn't care so long as they got their streaming revenue. The CW was their neglected child. Something they threw together to make a profit off streaming, and off exploiting the viral fanbases that platform generated.

THE CW WAS NEVER PROFITABLE AS A LINEAR BROADCAST TV NETWORK

THE ONLY REASON IT SUSTAINED AS LONG AS IT DID WAS THE NETFLIX DEAL

WHEN THE NETFLIX DEAL COLLAPSED IT WAS OVER.

The corporation does not love you. The corporation never loved you. The CW was not destroyed by Nexstar. I'm not interested in uwu CW Nexstar, either. CW Nexstar has made it clear that they are ditching genre entirely. Oh, they might keep ONE dc series, as a treat. They don't care about that legacied genre audience from old CW.

CW Nexstar is not evil for having sports. Read the industry news for once I beg of you instead of just spouting off about how evil it is for a platform to have sports. Max is getting into sports. Amazon Prime does sports. Apple TV+ experimented with live coverage of baseball games. Get this through your skulls please.

It pains my brain to see twitter accounts perpetuating the misinformation and stans lining up to unquestioningly absorb it. I don't care about CW, I do follow media news closely, I do know some things about media myself, and what I care about is misconceptions and misperceptions.

I really think it matters, especially now, for fans to use critical thinking and read more media commentary and learn about what's going on in the industry. It's going to be hard on the stories we love for a while. I support the creatives. I don't care about your uwu big corporation that you stuck on a pedestal and insist on repeating misinformation about.

#tv ratings #media

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breachverse · 2 years ago

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Hii. I love the Breach series so much I'm practically obsessed. I play other choice script games but none has come close to how much I enjoy playing Breach. I've also played the demo almost a hundred times it's Soo good!

I'm new to the Tumblr so I'm not sure if this has already been asked but which of the characters do you relate the most with? As in you would most likely make the same decisions if you were in their situations? And does that make the character easier to write?

Also would it be a possibility for the MC to be completely mute in the story in the future? I am very grateful for the fact there are options not to talk in situations but there are still times MC still has to talk and was wondering if it would be too hard to make it possible for them to be mute like Raquel. Thanks again!

Which characters do I relate to most? 🤔

It's pretty hard for me to pin point one character so I'll put out three. Breach's characters have some part of me in them in one way or another, but three charactes have been pretty consistent in getting the same vibe as me in certain cases 😅

Gabriel's determination and slight case of paranoia is something I vibe with and, is pretty much something I would love to be but, I know I need to put the work in to become someone like him. Gabriel wasn't born that way, he's turned into who he is through... well... numerous life changing events.

Rook is the pinnacle of chaos manifest and a huge part of me loves writing Rook and Bishop because they're basically just the regular banters I would usually do with my best friend, sprinkled in with a bit of madness and chaos.

And... well, Mouse. Their anxiety and hopeful optimism is, kinda close to who I am as a person in general and, like Mouse, I constantly worry about whether or not I'm doing enough, and I feel horrible whenever I can't deliver what I've optimistically promised... It hurts to know that I may have disappointed some people in how much I can write and for that I'm sorry.

But yeah, those three in combination. Anxiety is no joke, but with a mix of Rook's dark humor and Gabriel's stoicism, I feel like a wreck of different emotions that general makes me feel like shit but at the same time, I feel hopeful and optimistic cause I know whatever comes my way, I'll either laugh it off or push through it... or have an anxiety attack about it. Either way, I know I'll be fine.

As for making the MC completely mute... unfortunately, I've written Breach 1 in a way that doesn't make that possible, I'm sorry. 😓

But eversince I implemented the personality system, I've been trying to write in automatic responses where the MC just says nothing if they have a quiet personality. You can't be completely and entirely quiet, but, you can get very close to it, only saying a very small number of words through the entire trilogy.

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fatgumsurpremacy-remastered · 2 years ago

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Can I request yandere Demoman with s/o who absolutely HATES dancing? Demo wants to dance with s/o but s/o hates it. cue angry embarrassment tears.

Oh for sure, I had this happen to me at a quince once so this is so relatable

Tw: Drinking, panic attacks, breifest mention of throw up, angst, yandere and yandere themes

When Tavish had asked you out to this place you were weary. Not only would it be strange for you as coworkers to go to this seedy bar, but it would be weird for you in general. You never got out and about, the craze of this era being dancing, you could never get into the dancing. Your feet seemed to stumble and you always fell out of tune. It seemed everytime you were pulled to your feet you panicked. It didn’t help that Tavish put on his favorite pair of shoes to wear out. However- Tavish insisted.

More like begged.

He bemoaned at your door until Mick through a boot at him. Which prompted you to ask him the next day about the commotion. He was excited you brought it up, as he had been wanting to go for a while. He seemed to have his mind set on you as his drinking buddy that night.

You allowed yourself to be taken by the offer for drinks. On him of course, there wasn’t a chance in hell you’d go otherwise.

The venue wasn’t nearly as dodgy as you thought, it was out on a well lit street, and there wasn’t any alleys close to it. It’s music bumped from inside, and bright lights came from under its doors and vents. You smiled at your colleague who sent you a bright grin back.

“What’s so special about this place?” You asked nonchalantly, walking through the doors as Good Vibrations played loud from some corner of the bar.

Tavish laughed and pointed to the mechanized bull in the corner.

“Last time I came here,” he said, leaning into you. “I managed to get Engie drunk enough to ride that.”

You weren’t too impressed with the story, but as you sat down at the bar he continued. “He went on long enough o get the high score, but the second he was off?”

The bartender came by with a speed you hadn’t witness before in your life and dropped a beer down in front of him. Demo opened it with a pop and pointed to the Bull with it.

“You’re kidding.” You said in disbelief.

“It was projectile. Nastiest damn thing I’d seen.” You snorted as the waiter came back to drop you a menu. You couldn’t focus through the mental image in your head.

“Dell Conagher would never-“ you said in blantant disregard. Demo looked offended. In a bout of dramatics he cast his hand over his chest.

“Do I look like a man who’d like about this?” He gasped loudly. His faux accusing tone lightened your mood significantly.

“Maybe,” you teased. “Maybe you shouldn’t lie. Ever thought of that, hmm?”

Demos faced dropped comically. His big eye staring at you with pure betrayal evident. “You really think I’m lying?!”

You smirked. “I’ll believe it when I hear it.” You turned to your menu, trying to focus on the options rather than what Demo was saying.

Though he really wasn’t saying anything.

He stared into his hands placidly, trying to determine how he should react your your cold display of trust. Or- lack thereof. He could tell you were joking, at least partially. He doubted you’d actually want to see a coworker hurl himself on the floor after that. But his chest hurt with the thought that you couldn’t trust him.

He took a sip of his drink, opting to take it a bit slower tonight. This was his first time getting closer to asking you out. And he didn’t want to blow it.

Your turned back to him after a minute ready to take your order. You notice him staring back down at his hands, an odd trait you’d seen before. It seemed he only did it in public, as when you were alone together it never occurred. You tapped your friends shoulder, catching his attention rather violently.

He jerked up. Shocked out of his semi coherent trance.

You chocked it up to anxiety and smiled at him.

“Welcome back Alice, having a fun trip?” He scoffed humorously back, and tipped his bottle in accordance.

“Aye, and just who are you to take me out of my whole?” You smiled and waved the menu around cheekily.

“Hungry. And in the mood to drink.”

He nodded, flagging down the waiter. After the man took your order Demo looked back at the crowd of folks dancing in the center. “Y’know.”

There it was.

Something that would start a whole fiasco. You wanted to hide your head in your hands and shrivel away. But you kept your focus on him, trying to give him some respect.

“I’d always loved dancing. Feels like a release in a way. Getting all those ambitions out, clearing your mind. Really! How about you?” He leaned back, eager to hear your response. He knew what your answer was already, but he wanted to prove himself right.

“Heheh. Had a friend with asthma get an attack during a musical once… so uh. I’ve been kinda scared ever since. Never know when it can develop, scary little illness.” You wanted to play it safe and give a more medical reason for your hesitancy than a plain ‘I don’t like it.’

He cringed at that. Wanting to do more to be close to you. He pretended not to take the lie to heart. Instead he waved it off with a raspberry as your drink came to the table.

“Oh cmon! How hard could it be on you? You telling me you don’t even do slow dances?”

You made a face and shrugged it off, attempting to avoid the situation entirely. You felt anxiety rush up from your stomach and up to your throat.

“Yeah, unknowns, I’m mean- I don’t wanna ruin anyone’s fun either. Doesn’t mean I don’t like seeing other people dance,” you rambled,” If just means I-!”

Just like that Demos hand grabbed yours and pulled you up in a manner reminiscent of a puppy pulling on another’s sleeve.

“Cmon don’t knock it till you try it!”

Your hearts both raced for very different reasons. As he pulled you up your rate skyrocketed. He however felt exhilarated. He could ask you out in such a romantic way, and you’d have a new experience to share solely.

You silently cursed the man and his excitement, blubbering wildly, in a completely incoherent manner. Your eyes filled with tears almost instantaneously. He was stronger than you, he was more insistent, and with a bottle of beer already kicked back he was braver. You couldn’t blame his actions, as you were certain he was inebriated prior to your arrival.

A fast jazz track came on, the lights made every inch of you dizzy. Demos hands didn’t help, grounding you in an area where everyone’s bodies were moving around you.

With everyone’s backs facing you, you still felt like they were watching.

Your body was shaking violently. And you were twisted out and back in.

“Cmon! You can just follow what I do, you move your feet like this and then-“ his words caught deaf ears. It felt like your brain was swimming away from you. You tried to follow his movements, he took it as an opportunity to move you along with him.

The actions were subtle and violent, feeling like some hellish ritual in your body.

You were breathing heavily before the music slowed. You felt limp into demos arms before he brought you closer to him. His hands laid flat on your hips, and your shoulder. He hummed along to the tune and rocked you along with himself. His heat was unbearable, the smell of various alcohols made you nauseous.

“Yknow, I’ve been meaning to ask you some.. thing. Are you crying?” He pulled you back a bit. And sure enough you, were. With no hesitation he picked you up, watching as you buried your face into the crook of his neck.

He felt himself heat up in shame, your entire figure was shaking, and your sobs caused hiccups to wreck you.

He didn’t take a second longer to take you back outside and to the van where he sat you down in the back. Your body curled up the second he set you down. He shut the doors quickly, and sat beside you.

“Hey hey, what happened?” He asked, panicked by your reaction.

“I told you I didn’t want to dance DeGroot!” You shouted at him, casting a loathsome glare. He looked shocked, and worried in equal parts but you couldn’t care less. You scooted farther away from him, pressing your legs further into themselves. Your tears left the top of your shirt soaked. As he opened his mouth again you shut him up.

“I don’t care what fucking world you come from you DONT force people to do what they don’t want to. You asked ME to come here. You asked ME to dance. You wanted to be around ME. Why can’t you just fucking listen to ME? Instead of doubting me Tavish why don’t you just consider something I say instead of trying to prove me wrong or convince me otherwise?”

He looked down at his lap, hands crossed in themselves. He knew he fucked up.

“I- I didn’t think it meant that much.”

You scoffed indignantly. Your shocked and horribly offended expression sent chills down his body.

“You know what? I hope you’re just drunk from earlier and don’t know what the hell I’m saying. We’re going back to the base.”

He nodded his head, opting to stay quiet. You tossed the doors open, stepped off, and promptly threw up. The shock on the man’s face just continued to grow. You pointed back at him.

“This is not happening again.”

….

#yandere demoman #yandere demoman x reader

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seikotakai · 1 year ago

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Day 2 of Tekken 8 Demo

I just played the Tekken 8 demo again, this time mostly playing as Kazuya (as well as Jin and Nina for a bit). Kazuya has some special intros/interactions with Jun and Shaheen (Jun's determination to save Kazuya from his darkness and trauma; Shaheen wanting to avenge his friend like "you took everything from me" and kaz just looks at him like "i don't even know who tf you are"))...but why doesn't he have any special intros/outros/win poses with Nina, Asuka, Azucena, or Paul?!

>Azucena is pretty much probably his only ally (because Anna, Bruce, and Lucky Chloe are not in this game). Although Eddy Gordo was also cut from this game too, I guess Shaheen may as well be his replacement in a way (damn do e-sports players hate Eddy for losing to spam and cheese in player matches/ranked matches that much to the point where he got that joke ending in Tekken 7 and now he won't even be in Tekken 8?!).

>Paul was his OG rival back in the day before of course he keeps getting defeated by fucking Kuma (the blondie cocky extroverted rival who wants to be the best, you know like Sasuke vs Naruto or Ryu vs Ken).

>Coming to think of it, Jin Kazama also does NOT even have any special intros or win quotes with either Asuka or Nina. Like I was thinking Jin would be sad or angry about being betrayed again by someone (first Heihachi in Tekken 3, now Nina in Tekken 8...also Jin saved Nina from being brainwashed by Ogre in Tekken 3 and worked alongside him in Tekken 6, so her betrayal should sting). Also maybe Nina is perhaps actually just simply doing something similar to her role in Street Fighter X Tekken, maybe she's just secretly spying for Jin (and a special intro between her and Kaz would hint at this).

>Also once again Asuka being shafted and pushed to the side, like seriously no special intro for her with Jin or Kazuya?! It's disappointing because in her character episode with Lili, Lili mentions her being related to Jin and by extension the Mishima bloodline so she's worried that her friend (*cough* *cough* girlfriend) might get dragged into the whole Mishima conflict. So I was thinking okay surely Bandai Namco is building up to her finally being relevant in the next game right? I always had this theory in my mind that maybe perhaps why Asuka Kazama is treated like some comic relief side character ever since Tekken 6 is possibly all the backlash and hate she got from both Japanese and western Tekken fans for replacing Jun Kazama when she was introduced in Tekken 5. Same reason why Hinata Hyuga from Naruto gets so much love and favoritism from Studio Pierrot and the Naruto fandom (especially Japanese fans) over Sakura Haruno, and why Rosalina gets more attention than Daisy in the Mario Franchise lately (especially when Rosalina got into Super Smash Bros before her and Rosalina was also in Mario Strikers: Battle League at launch but not Daisy). Maybe it's because some fans strongly prefer the more feminine and introverted female characters over the confident tomboyish brash female characters. Of course these sentences are NOT meant to blame or slander Jun, Rosalina, or Hinata because I like all three of them as characters. It's just some coincidence I noticed.

>Although I do actually really like Steve's whole interaction with his mom Nina. Steve doesn't want to hurt his mom and even says that she is the last person he wants to fight, and Nina telling him to get out of here in her outro. I always thought Nina was cold to her son for similar reasons why Jin wants to live a solitary life, out of pure fear that Steve might get dragged into the either the Mishima conflict or her rivalry with Anna (ex. Anna Williams might kidnap him or something), she's just simply trying to protect her son in a way.

Anyways that's just my silly thoughts for now.

#tekken #fighting game #bandai namco #namco #tekken 8 demo #tekken 8 #kazuya mishima #asuka kazama #jun kazama #anna williams #nina williams #steve fox #azucena #lili de rochefort #thoughts #opinion

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