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toomanystoriessolittletime · 4 months ago

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Twenty Years

Summary: Twenty years went by since the last time you saw Joel Miller. You never thought you would see him again, but on the day you finally broke free of David' clutches and saved a girl at the same time, he's just there, standing in front of you. When your daughter and her husband find you, urging you to leave, you offer to take Joel and Ellie with you, knowing you have to talk to him. About the two of you. And about your daughter.

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader

Rating: M

Wordcount: 6k

Warnings: pre + post outbreak, angst, implied smut, implied and mentions of sexual assault (I kept it pretty vague but it is happening, readers discretion is advised), David (needs his own waring, he talks about child brides and what he wants to do to them), religious bullshit, threats, lies about medical conditions, violence, blood, death, Joel not knowing he has another daughter, pregnancy, more angst, infected wounds, medication, some fluff, talking about feelings, talking about dreams, some kisses, cockblock Tommy Miller, happy end

A/N: Dunno what happened but I wrote all of this in the last 6 hours. Please read the warnings, If I forgot something in the warnings please let me know

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Full Masterlist // Joel Miller Masterlist

At one o’clock on the dot the door opened, a stream of dusty sweaty man walking into the diner you were working in. It wasn’t your dream job, but it kept the bills paid while you were in night school to get your business degree.

And… it had its perks.

Like being located across the street of a huge construction side. The building that had been there before had been demolished almost a year before, making place for a new building. A mall. Or… whatever. It’s not like you cared.

With the construction side came a lot of workers taking their break in the diner.

With them came a frequent flow of tips into your pocket.

With them came Joel Miller.

You did not even notice him in the beginning which was the biggest fucking mystery to you. Because he was…. He was attractive, broad shoulders, dark hair and eyes. Always wearing a shirt that hugged his chest like a second skin. And then there were the days he was wearing flannel….

The whole construction worker look was really working for you.

Yet it took him calling out one of his co-workers (employees you would learn later, because he was the boss) from flirting on the verge of making you uncomfortable with you, to make you notice him.

You had insisted on getting him his lunch on the house and he wasn’t having it. At all. You caught his eyes outside when you saw the bills tucked under his mug when you were cleaning the table, making you grin as you shook your head.

He had winked at you with a boyish smile around his lips and that was all it took to start your crush on Joel Miller.

Joel Miller who after that always seemed to linger a little longer in the diner to talk to you. To tell you about his daughter. To ask you about you and your life with that southern drawl that made you want to kiss the spot on his cheek that seemed too stubborn to grow any hair.

If you had known back then that only three months later the world as you knew it would end, you maybe wouldn’t have wasted so much time in confessing your feelings to him.

Or… at all.

Maybe you would have asked him to stay when in a very drunken mistake you both ended up in your bed, fucking until you couldn’t remember your name just the night before the world fell apart.

Maybe things would be different for you now.

You blinked a couple of times, getting rid of the mental picture of Joel Miller smirking at you as the door opened.

“Come on, he’s waiting,” a gruff voice said and you nodded.

You were at a point where you were asking yourself if doing this just to survive in this hell of a world was worth it. If running, even if you would die trying was the better choice.

Yet you knew you weren’t doing this for your own life.

You were doing this to protect her.

And you would keep surviving and protecting her until you took your very last breath.

The day you walked into a group of men in the woods almost ten years after the outbreak you were too desperate for help to question their offer of shelter and food.

You and your ten year old daughter Hannah had been on the run for months after your settlement had been overrun by infected, only making it out alive barely. With winter being in full swing for the last two weeks you were getting desperate to find a place to stay for you and your daughter.

Maybe if you wouldn’t have been severely dehydrated and starved you would have seen the way David’s gaze had lingered on Hannah too long to be just out of concern.

Maybe you could somehow have gotten far away from Silver Lake until it was too late.

Maybe you wouldn’t have spend the last years feeling like a cheap whore whenever David summoned you to his room to give you absolution for your sins while he rutted into you from behind before throwing you out like trash.

David, you learned quickly, was a psychotic maniac pedophile who masked his sick intentions with the word of god.

It was a week after you arrived, that he let the facade slip and told you about his true intentions for taking you in.

He wanted Hannah, as his bride.

You were too stunned to speak as he kept going on that she was the one he had been waiting for and you were so lucky to have birthed the perfect girl that would bring whatever the fuck he needed to make this settlement more powerful and his followers happier.

When you offered to take her place he only laughed, marking you as impure since you had her out of wedlock and her father was most likely dead. You weren't pure enough to have children with. He wasn’t asking, he would be taking Hannah and if you would trouble him, he would kill you.

When it became clear that he was serious about this, you made up the lie that Hannah would never be able to give him any children due to a birth defect that left her without ovaries.

You didn’t think he’d believe you at first, his cold eyes calculating before he hummed, telling you that he did find it odd that a girl in her age did not have her period yet.

You by then knew that one, he had no idea about the female body and two, he had actually spoken to Hannah about it.

He had left you in your room for a whole week after that. Alone. Without the opportunity to see your own child.

And when he came to see you it was only to inform you that Hannah’s condition had been confirmed to be much worse, leaving her unable to perform her wifely duties by his most trusted doctor in town and that he now had to find another use for the two of you.

Still occupied with the horror of what these people had done to your daughter you were to stunned to speak when he slapped you across the face, before he turned you around and pulled at your pants, his lips against your ear as he towered behind you, informing you that if he couldn’t have the useless cunt of your child, he would have yours as a substitute.

Because that was all a woman was.

A warm cunt.

Something was different today.

You hadn’t been able to see Hannah, even though every Tuesday you were allowed to visit her and her new husband at their home.

If Silver Lake had brought anything good since you gotten here, it was Hannah having been put in the house of the town doctor. The doctor, Carl, had been in his early forties when you met first.

You hadn’t been allowed to leave your room at first but David, showing you (or more like his followers) his good grace, had allowed for Hannah to visit you twice a week for an hour under the supervision of the town doctor Carl who she was living with.

As helpless as you felt in your situation you were so happy that you had Hannah back, crying in your arms. From the day she was born the both of you hadn’t been separated, so of course she was scared and missed you and your heart broke for the mess you put the both of you in.

You only noticed the man who had brought her here after minutes, your eyes hardening, putting Hannah behind your back to lash out at him for touching your daughter when he told you in quiet harsh whispered words to listen to him.

That he was the one who confirmed your lies about Hannah’s condition, and that he made them sound so bad that she became uninteresting for David. That he offered to take her and even you in. While he was allowed to take Hannah, you would remain in David’s place for his… needs. Something Carl would work on changing but needing time for it.

His own daughter had been taken by David when she turned twelve before she just disappeared and he wanted nothing more than to take him down, but it was difficult due to the hierarchy in town and how delusional the towns people were to everything that David told them.

He was no fighter, he had been here in this resort on vacation with his family when the outbreak happened. He had no immediate way of helping you, but he could help keep Hannah safe.

And he did.

Hannah grew into a beautiful young woman, soaking everything up Carl thought to her and his son Jamie. She was doing better stitches than Carl himself when she was only fourteen years old, not that anyone knew about it.

Women weren’t allowed to learn and work in this town.

But Carl trained his son Jamie to become a doctor, and if Hannah was in the same room? He could not stop her form listening and learning, could he?

The longer you were in Silver Lake, the more freedom you carved for yourself. It took almost two years after you arrived for you to not lash out and be punished for whatever the fuck David and his goons thought you did wrong.

By now, you were playing the perfect little mistress, shamed by big parts of town when you walked down the street, silently thanked by the woman who had young daughters and now did not have to fear them getting taken once they hit a certain age.

It was the only way you could endure David’s hands on you.

Knowing that whenever he was occupied with whatever sick fantasy he had in his head with you, he had less time to lure on little girls.

You were doing so good you were even allowed to attend the wedding of Hannah and Jamie only last month, the two of them having fallen in love in the last year.

But today something was different.

Or maybe you were paranoid because you finally had a way of leaving this place.

You had to leave this place before David found out about not only your lie, but Carls because Hannah was pregnant.

Some of David’s men had been missing for some days now and David was preoccupied with figuring out what happened, and how to get his very hungry town fed.

Carl had told you early on to not eat any of the meat that was served, telling you that there was a reason people went missing during the winter with a long hard look. Something you and Hannah took to heart, having not eaten a single bit of meat since getting here.

With David being out, there was more time you could spend out of his house, leaving you to finally form a plan to leave this town. Through his connections Carl and two other men who wanted to leave had been able to trade some medical supplies for a car with a settlement a two day walk away.

You would leave in three days time and you hopped that nothing would happen until then.

You didn’t count in the very angry girl who ran into you on your way back to your room, blood splattered all over her face, eyes frantic.

„Let me goooo,“ she yelled at you when you put your hands on her shoulders.

She couldn’t be older than fourteen. You heard yelling behind her, pulling her with you inside your room.

„Slow down and shut up, they are gonna hear you,“ you whispered as you slowly closed the door behind you.

„Who the fuck are you?“ She whispered angrily.

„Doesn’t matter. Who are you?“

„Doesn’t matter,“ she snapped back. You took her appearance in, your eyes stopping at the cleaver she was gripping in her small hand, blood dripping from it’s blade.

„Was it David?“ You asked, nodding towards the cleaver.

„No. That sick fuck is somewhere out there. Are you with them?“ She asked, gripping the cleaver tighter.

„Not out of my own choice,“ you said as you walked past her. You got on your knees next to your bed, carefully getting under one of the floorboards, getting your knife out.

You heard her footsteps behind you as you reached inside again, getting the couple of baby pictures you had of Hannah out.

„Is someone with you?“ You asked her as you got back up and walked towards you dresser.

„My…. Friend. He’s… I don’t know of he’s… no he is… he’s out there,“ she said.

„Okay,“ you said before you got out of the shitty dress you had to wear and picked some pants and a sweatshirt.

„Sheesh lady,“ she whispered and you looked over your shoulder as she turned her back towards you embarrassed as you changed. You were pulling your boots on when she turned back around.

It was then that you noticed the smoke coming through the slit under the door.

Fire.

„Fuck. Okay. We gotta get out of there. You stay behind me, okay? If we run into someone, I will take care of them,“ you said, grabbing your backpack, putting it on.

„I can take care of myself,“ she said, face determined.

„And I don’t question that. But I have been stuck here for ten years. If anyone kills these people, it is me,“ you said.

She looked at you for a long moment, before she nodded. You turned around and searched for one of your lighter jackets you had not planned to take with you, but she was only wearing a shirt and it was still snowing outside. You approached her, holding the jacket out for her to take.

„Give me the cleaver,“ you said as she struggled to get it on.

She glared at you, before you held up a knife to trade. She sighed before she gave you the cleaver and you watched her put the jacket on before she snapped the knife from your hand.

You took a deep breath.

„Okay. Stay behind me. I am gonna get us out of here. Then we’re gonna get my daughter and get our of here,“ you said and her eyebrows went up.

„You have a daughter?“ She asked surprised, you nodded.

„Yeah. I have,“ you said before you opened the door.

When you heard his voice you gestured for the girl to hide behind the bar.

You had made it to the old tavern, smoke thick inside the room as the fire spread.

„You’re easy to track, Ellie,“ David said and you took one last look at the girl, Ellie, before you got up and stood to your full height, seeing the surprise on David’s face.

„What are you doing here after everything I did for you?“ He said with narrowed eyes and you laughed. Once.

„What you did for me? Enlighten me what you did for me apart form raping me whenever you felt like it and threaten to kill my daughter,“ you snarled and he rolled his eyes, before surprise lifted his eyebrows as he noticed the cleaver in your hand.

„She’s with you,“ he said before he turned away from you, walking towards the door. He reached into his pants pocked and used his keys to look the door before he put them back.

„If you want to get out of here, you gotta come here and get the keys. Either of you,“ he said a little louder and a small smile came to your lips.

„You think I haven’t waited for my chance to kill you?“ You asked as you approached him.

„Always knew I should have killed you. But I have a sweet spot for our dear little Hannah. She’s just so…. Innocent. Almost as innocent as Ellie. But she’s far stronger than your little broken girl. Ellie could have been what this town is missing. But she just had to kill all of my best men huh?“ David was still looking for Ellie, only half of his attention on you.

The fire was making it difficult to breathe. You had to get yourself and the girl out of here.

„Ah fuck,“ David groaned and you saw Ellie slip past him, her knife stabbing him in his neck before she hid in one of the front booths.

At this point David's focus was completely on finding Ellie, which you used to you advantage.

He was about to grab Ellie ankle, the girl screaming when you grabbed a chair and used it to hit him over the back of his head. He grunted, letting go of Ellie who crawled away. He fell and before David could blink you were on top of him punching his face.

And the fucker just laughed.

„Go on, kill me. I know you can’t,“ he mocked and you saw red.

The cleaver made contact with his shoulder first, making him groan in pain, eyes wide with surprise.

„You think I can’t kill you?“ You screamed.

„You think I haven’t dreamed about this since you took me hostage you fucking maniac?“ You felt his blood splash against your face as you brought the clover down again and again and again.

He was barely breathing by the time you stopped, his eyes wide in what you were sure was fear as he looked at you.

„I am gonna kill you. And then I am going to take my pregnant daughter away from here,“ you spit down at him, before you brought the cleaver down one last time, killing him for good.

With shaky fingers you reached inside his pants, searching for the keys.

„Ellie!“ You yelled and the girl came out of hiding, eyes wide with fear as he followed you to the door. You unlocked the door, coughing as fresh air filled your lungs, Ellie running past you.

Closing your eyes, allowing yourself a second to fill your lungs with fresh air you startled when you heard the girl scream.

„NO! Don’t fucking touch me!“ She yelled and you snapped your head around, seeing a man with his arms around her, pulling her against his chest.

You saw red, running towards them.

„Shhhh…. Ellie stop. Stop. It’s me,“ the man said grabbing her face. You slowed down, the cleaver still in your hand.

„He tried to… He tried to….“ Ellie stammered and you closed your eyes, releasing a shaky breath.

„Oh babygirl. It’s okay. It’s okay now,“ the man said and Ellie sobbed against him as he pulled her even closer.

It was then that he noticed you standing there, eyes narrowing as he put Ellie behind him.

When you could see his full face for the first time it was like you forgot how to breathe.

„Joel?“ You whispered in disbelief. He narrowed his eyes, about to approach you when there was a crash in the burning building behind you, making you jump.

„Mom!“ You heard Hannah yell and you turned your head to the side to watching your daughter run towards you, her husband Jamie close behind.

Her eyes widened as she looked at you, and you had forgotten that you probably looked like straight out of a nightmare with blood all over you.

„Oh my god mom,“ she cried when she reached you, her hands brushing all over your face.

„Not my blood,“ you mumbled, giving her a small smile before you looked at the man who was standing behind her, still looking at you, as if trying to figure out who you were.

„We gotta get out of here. They are gonna come after us,“ Jamie said as he reached you, his hand taking Hannah’s.

It was in that moment that Joel said your name. And everyone turned their heads towards him, Ellie now next to him, one of his arms keeping her to his side.

His eyes were on you, before he looked at Hannah who had turned around, pistol raised at him. He looked between you and Hannah for what felt like minutes.

You knew what he saw. And you could see the moment he realised who was standing in front of him.

Hannah was the spitting image of him. She had his eyes and his dark curly hair.

„Joel….“ You said, taking a step towards him but Jamie stopped you while Hannah looked at you with wide eyes.

„Joel?“ She asked and you looked at her and nodded. She knew who her father was. You had talked about him a lot when she was little.

„We don’t have time for that. We gotta get out of here,“ Jamie repeated and you looked at him.

„Where is Carl?“ You asked and Jamie only shook his head lips tight, instant tears filling your eyes. You blinked them away, before you took a deep breath.

„Okay. Okay. We gotta leave. You can come with us,“ you said towards Ellie and Joel. The latter shaking his head, while Jamie protested.

„She saved me, Joel,“ Ellie said quietly and he closed his eyes, releasing a long breath. You only looked at Jamie who was about to argue with you when he saw the pleading look Hannah gave him.

„Okay fine. But we gotta leave. Now.“

Joel hadn’t said more than two sentences towards you, Hannah and Jamie since you made it to the spot Carl had set up two days later. There was supposed to be a car stashed there, but it was gone and Jamie was trying to figure out what to do next.

Night time was approaching and you were tired.

„We should settle down close to the lake and decide what to do in the morning. No point walking through the night, when we do not have any clue where to go,“ you said.

„We have to get further away. I can’t risk them coming after us,“ Jamie insisted.

„Jamie, we lit the whole fucking town on fire two days ago. If anyone survives, do you think they don’t have something better to so than to come after us?“ You snapped, patience wearing thin.

„Do whatever the fuck you want, but I need to wash off David’s blood. I never want to ever be thinking about him again,“ you said, suddenly irritated as you made your way down to the shore of the small lake you had found.

„She’s mine isn’t she?“ You were startled by Joel’s voice as you sat at the shore, dressed in fresh clothes you had brought, clean from all the blood and dirt.

You didn’t turn around to look at him.

„Yeah,“ you said and you heard him breath in deeply.

„Fuck,“ he whispered and you couldn’t help but chuckle. You felt him sit down next to you and you risked a glance at him.

He was older, you were too.

The last twenty years hadn’t been kind to either of you, but you were pretty sure Joel was even more attractive than back when you met for the first time.

And he still had that stubborn spot that grew no hair on his cheek.

But he looked tired.

You just sat beside each other, watching the sun set behind the lake, the sky turning pink.

„Never thought I’d see you again,“ he said and you smiled sadly.

„Was’t even sure you’d remember me,“ you said and he scoffed.

„Really hard to not remember you, darlin’“ he said and you turned your head to look at him fully, giving him a small smile.

„Likewise, Cowboy,“ you said and he chuckled, before he flinched.

„You okay?“ You said concerned.

„Yeah. Got stabbed some days ago by one of these lunatics in town,“ he said, pointing towards his belly.

„Can I… Can I see?“ You asked.

He shrugged, before he laid down. As soon as you laid eyes on his wound you knew something was wrong. It was red and irritated.

„I don’t think that look too good, Joel,“ you said with concern.

„Survived worse,“ he said as he pulled his shirt down.

„I’m sure you have but….“

„I’m okay. Promise,“ he said.

You let it go for the moment and looked away from him as he sat himself up with a groan.

„Was planning to ask you out officially the next day, you know,“ he said after a while and you sighed.

„I would have said yes,“ you whispered into the darkness as you let your head all against his shoulder.

As it turned out Joel was indeed not okay.

All of you decided the next day that you would make your way to Jackson, the town Joel had told you about. It would be at least a week by foot and you were not looking forward to being on the road that long with the snow coming down like that.

He used the time on the road to tell Ellie everything (Hannah is your daughter? No way, she’s way too cool to be your kid) and got to know Hannah. He talked to Jamie and let them tell him their story. He also talked to you, but every time he asked about how you ended up in Silver Lake and what happened after you closed up and walked away from him.

You weren’t ready to talk about that. You weren’t sure you were ever ready to talk about that.

It was on day five that Joel had issues waking up.

You had taken watch over for him when you couldn’t wake him up. You thought he was tired, him having taken watch every night since you left. Now it was morning and you could see that he was sweating. Carefully reaching up you touched his forehead, feeling him burning up.

„Mom?“ You heard Hannah.

„He’s burning up,“ you said quietly, not wanting to disturb Ellie who was still sleeping. Hannah came to kneel down beside him, feeling it herself.

„He got stabbed by the men David sent out to the university last week. He said he was fine…“ you said and she nodded.

„I have to see the wound,“ she said. You nodded as he got up to her feet, walking over towards Jamie, waking him up. They both came and knelt beside Joel, Jamie already reaching for his fathers backpack he had managed to take, full of medical supplies.

„Oh shit,“ Hannah said as you had Joel’s belly exposed, her hands also reaching into the backpack to get some supplies.

It looked worse. Much worse.

„It’s infected. We gotta open up the stitches. Here, grab this,“ Jamie said towards Hannah. You let the two of them work while you held Joel’s hand.

Not fifteen minutes later Jamie injected some antibiotics into Joel’s arm while Hannah wrapped his wound.

„There’s nothing more we can do. He needs rest and medication,“ Jamie said and you nodded. It was then that Ellie woke up, immediately concerned as she saw you all kneeling next to Joel.

„Is he dead?“ She asked and you shook your head.

„No. But he needs rest. The stab wound got infected,“ you explained and she sucked her bottom lip in, nervously.

„Ellie, do you think you can find the way to Jackson to get help?“ You asked.

„No,“ Hannah said, shaking her head.

„I think I can. We just gotta find the huge lake. It should be close by now. It was three or four days until Jackson once we found the lake,“ Ellie said, ignoring her.

You nodded.

„I want you, Hannah and Jamie to get to Jackson as quickly as possible and get help. We need something to help get Joel back to Jackson. I will wait here. Jamie can show me how to tend to the wound and how to get him the antibiotics,“ you said.

Hannah shook her head.

„You don’t have any supplies. We can’t just leave you here,“ she said.

„And you can’t just stay here and wait until he gets better,“ the if he gets better was implied with the way you looked at her. She had tears in her eyes and you gave her a small smile.

„You have not only yourself to think about anymore, Hannah. You need to get to safety too,“ you reached towards her belly and she released a shuddering breath.

„Oh shit,“ Ellie said with wide eyes as she realised what you meant and Jamie chuckled.

„I don’t like this,“ Hannah mumbled.

„Me neither. But I’ll survive a week out here. We’re close to water, you saw the stream yesterday, I can hunt, and we saw this abandoned cabin not far away from here. We could get back to it, clear it, and I’ll wait for you there until you can get back. It’s gonna be okay,“ you promised.

You looked at Jamie who nodded at you, and reached for Hannah.

„We’ll get your Dad some help so you can get to know him,“ he whispered and you smiled at them both.

„Well let’s fucking go to the lake of death then!“ Ellie said and you all frowned.

„It’s… It’s a joke. I swear,“ she said.

Joel was in and out of consciousness for four days before he woke up for longer period of times during the day. He told you it was stupid to stay back with I’m and not leave with the kids and you only told him that you weren’t ready to leave him again.

You feel asleep in his arms that night, allowing yourself to let your guard down, passing out almost immediately when he told you that he got you. That he’d stay awake.

The following days went buy slowly. You continued taking care of Joel, his wound looking much better. You went hunting, coming back with some rabbits. Joel was on his feet by day six, taking slow walks with you towards the stream where he washed up.

And you talked.

You talked about everything that happened since the day you parted.

You learned about Sarah’s death, holding him as he shed some tears. You learned how he changed, how he did things he was not proud of to keep bis brother safe. You learned about how Ellie who he had been trusted to take to a group called the fireflies slowly brought back his old self.

You in return told him about finding out that you were pregnant while you were in the temporal Austin QZ. About how you gave birth to Hannah the day before the QZ fell, leaving you on the road with a new born until you found a settlement when Hannah was almost a year old close to Denver where you stayed until it was overrun by infected.

You showed him the few pictures of her as a baby you had, drying his tears as he looked at them.

You told him in as few words as possible what happened in the years you were at Silver Lake, seeing him angry on your behalf.

You woke up on the seventh day with his arm around your back, both of your laying on your side, facing each other. He was already looking at you when you opened your eyes, giving you a soft smile.

And before you could stop yourself you closed the distance between the two of you, pressing your lips against his in a soft kiss. Resting your forehead against his you closed your eyes, one of your hands brushing through his hair.

„Sometimes I allowed myself to dream what would have become of us if the outbreak hadn’t happened,“ he whispered.

„And what happened to us in those dreams?“ You asked, opening your eyes. He kissed you again, humming.

„We would have dated for seven months before I popped the question,“ he said.

„Why seven months?“ You asked.

„It’s my lucky number,“ he mumbled and you chuckled.

„Sarah would have loved you. We would have gotten married, her as the flower girl. We would have gotten a bigger house, cause I’d have you pregnant by the time we were married,“ he said with a small smile.

„Would have had at least two kids more before you said you were done and I would have gotten the snip so I could still fuck you everywhere without getting you pregnant again,“ he said and kissed your nosed.

„Lots of baby making in your dreams, Miller,“ you teased and he laughed.

„I’m only a man, what can I say?“ He shrugged before he kissed you again, deepening the kiss.

„You still have that piercing down there?“ He mumbled against your lips and a shudder ran down your body.

„Why don’t you find out?“ You whispered, feeling him smile as one of his hand made their way down your body, his fingertips slipping over your stomach. He was about to push his fingers further down when a noise outside startled you, making you jump up and grab your knife.

„Joel!“ You heard a voice yell outside and you relaxed.

„In here, Tommy,“ Joel yelled back, giving you a sheepish expression before the door opened and a man stepped inside, you hadn’t seen in twenty years.

Tommy lowered his gun as soon as he saw only you and Joel inside the cabin.

„Well fuck me, I never though I’d ever see the girl my brother was pining over like a teenager twenty years ago ever again,“ he said with a wide smile and you raised your eyebrow, looking at Joel who rolled his eyes, yet his cheeks seemed a little flushed.

Tommy hugged you tight before he let go and walked over to his brother. They were whispering with each other, when Jamie walked in.

„You’re okay?“ He asked.

You nodded, and he hugged you quickly.

„Left Hannah home. Can you believe it? We get our own house. With running water. Warm Water!“ He said, excited. You laughed, squeezing his shoulder.

You turned back to Joel, who was now standing next to Tommy.

„We got a long ride in front of us. Best we get back as quickly as we can,“ Tommy said.

"Gonna check his injury first, and then we can be on our way,“ Jamie said, already walking over to Joel.

„Can’t believe you’re here. Can’t believe I have another niece,“ Tommy said as you stepped outside with him after you gotten your coat and shoes on. He took your backpack from you, fastening it somewhere to one of the horses staying in front of you.

„I can’t believe it either,“ you said.

„Can’t believe Joel’s gonna be a granddad,“ Tommy chuckled and you did too.

„Fuck I’m gonna be a grandma,“ you groaned, feeling every year of your age.

„Also gonna be an aunt. Wife is due in the next two weeks. So we better get the fuck back before she skins me alive,“ he said and you nodded.

You turned back when you heard Joel and Jaime talk, the latter helping Joel down the stairs.

„You good to ride?“ Tommy asks his brother. He nodded.

„Might need a little help getting up on the horse though,“ he said. Tommy nodded, walking over towards the third horse that you were standing in front of.

„You riding with me?“ Joel asked.

You nodded.

„Sure,“ you said. It took some help, but you got on top of the horse, having never been on one before. You didn’t know what to do, already freaking out a little, when Tommy and Jamie helped Joel on the horse behind you, his arms immediately coming around you, pulling you closer. He grabbed the reins, clicking his tongue once and the horse turned around.

You watched Jamie and Tommy get on their horses too before Tommy rode up on front.

„Gonna take us at least three days. Let’s get the fuck out of here,“ he said and rode forwards.

„Ready to go home?“ Joel whispered against your ear.

You let yourself rest against his shoulder, your head turning up so you could look at him.

„Haven’t had a home in twenty years,“ you said quietly.

„You have now,“ he hummed, kissing your temple before he moved the horse, following Tommy.

Home.

#my fic #joel miller #Joel Miller x fem. reader #pedro pascal #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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lexkent · 4 months ago

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Why Lionel Luthor is the True Villain of Smallville:

Threatened to expose Clark's fake adoption records unless Jonathan Kent persuaded Pete Ross’s family to sell their factory to him.

Kidnapped Clark and put him in a vat of kryptonite solution to be studied in an attempt to discover his secrets.

Kept Clark trapped in a cage made of kryptonite in a separate incident.

Impregnated his dying wife's nurse while he was in a position of power over her as her boss, denied he was responsible, and had her locked away in a psychiatric ward for 7 years after taking her baby away from her. Lionel insured the child, Lucas, remained in poverty in the foster care system and prevented him from ever being adopted.

Forced the second woman he impregnated while married to Lillian, while in a position of power over her as her boss, to give their child to an orphanage where she was tortured. He soon found another home for Tess where she grew up in poverty and extreme physical abuse.

Forced his wife to have another baby despite her objections and was then dismissive of her postpartum depression. "I told you I didn't want any more children. I see how you treat Alexander, chipping away at his spirit."

Found a child, Davis Bloome, in a cornfield and believing him to be The Traveler, ran experiments on the boy until he realized he wasn't who he wanted and proceeded to dump him off alone on a dark Metropolis street.

Created a clone from a dead little girl, Emily Dinsmore, and locked her away in a lab, refusing to let her father ever see her again. "You can't take her away from me. She's my daughter." "She's the property of Luthorcorp."

Was such a terrible father to Lex that Lillian Luthor killed her infant son to spare him from the cruel and twisted parenting Lex endured from Lionel. Was such a horrible husband to Lillan that Lex took the blame for his baby brother's death knowing Lionel would have murdered her in retaliation.

Lied and told Lex that Lucas died in infancy, like Julian, knowing how much it would hurt Lex to hear.

Paid someone to kill Lucas once he became a potential threat to his power. Clark stopped the bullets, and Lionel had the shooter killed in police custody before he could talk.

Forced Lex's mother figure, Pamela Jenkins, out of Lex's life following the death of Lex's mother because he didn't want her to make Lex soft. Convinced Lex that Pamela never loved him and was only ever interested in their money.

Blew up Chloe and Gabe Sullivan's safehouse in an attempt to kill them and prevent her from testifying against him at his murder trial. Hired a mutant hitman to kidnap and kill Chloe after she escaped the explosion.

Had Oliver Queen's parents killed in a plane crash leaving him orphaned at the age of 5.

Ordered the murder of Andrea Rojas’s mother who was an activist who worked for an organization that fought back against gangs, dealers, and large business corporations. In addition to losing her mother, Andrea was stabbed in the heart during the attack.

Resurrected a teenager, Adam Knight, to get close to Lana Lang and spy on Clark Kent. When Adam failed to retrieve useful information, Lionel refused to give him any more of the serum he required to stay live. As a result, Adam suffered immensely before dying of organ failure.

Resurrected Vince Davis who lived for a short, painful period of time before his body deteriorated without access to Lionel's serum.

Poisoned Lex with a lethal dosage that would've killed 99.9% of people.

Told Lex he loved him in prison only to persuade him into accepting his hand so he could use a Kryptonian stone to body swap them, leaving Lex to rot and die in prison in his place while Lionel escaped with Lex's body. Instead, Clark intervened and Lionel escaped inside of Clark's body, leaving Clark trapped to die in prison. Shortly after the bodyswap occured, Lionel looked down the front inside of his(Clark's) waistband while smiling to himself. While in Clark Kent's body, Lionel initiated a hug with Martha Kent where he was turned on to the point of shooting heat vision from his eyes. Lionel-in-Clark's body flirted with Chloe, a teenager, and was centimeters away from kissing her. And when Lionel-in-Clark's body encountered Lana, a teenager, he said to her, "A man would travel around the world to pluck your succulent fruit," and forced a kiss onto her, smiling to himself after she slapped him and ran away. Lionel proceeded to attack Lex, choking him, slamming his head against a desk, and demanding 57 million dollars using Clark's super strength. He then went to the Kent Farm and threw Jonathan across the room into the kitchen cabinets. Lionel told Clark he would murder Lex if he didn't cooperate with his demands.

Pretended to be blind. "Playing the handicapped card is low, even for you." "But I was able to see more clearly than ever. It's amazing what people try and get away with right in front of your eyes when they think you can't see."

Fired 2,500 Smallville citizens to force his son back under his control. When Lex attempted to organize an employee buyout of the factory, Lionel bought the Smallville Savings and Loan and threatened to foreclose on every employee's mortgage. When Lex continued to organize and fight to save everyone's jobs, Lionel threatened, "I'll bury you and everyone in Smallville who takes your side."

Blackmailed Smallville sheriff Ethan Millar into digging up dirt on every Lexcorp shareholder(Smallville factory workers), so Lionel could blackmail each one into selling their shares to him in order to take over Lex's fledgling company. In addition, Lionel threatened to expose the sheriff if he didn't do him various favors.

Once again tried blackmailing Jonathan Kent leading to a physical altercation between the two. Lionel fled the scene as Jonathan suffered a fatal heart attack.

Installed hidden cameras and microphones throughout Lex's office, so he could sabotage him and steal his business deals.

Took over Lex's company, which Lex had invested everything he had into, leaving him with nothing and immediately kicking him out of his home.

Insisted an ill-advised, life-threatening surgery be performed on Lex after he had been shot and wasn't stable enough for further surgery, making it clear he'd prefer a dead son over a physically disabled one.

Set Lex up for the murders of Dr. Teng and her entire team at Metron Labs after Lex refused to work for him.

Had sex with Lex's lover, Victoria Hardwick, while they were still sleeping together.

Hired Dr. Helen Bryce to seduce and spy on Lex for him. Helen later attempted to murder Lex on their honeymoon.

Gave Martha Kent a watch engraved, "To Martha, with deep affection. L.L." while she was his employee and happily married to Jonathan Kent.

Refused to come clean about his past sexual involvement with Rachel Dunleavy and the existence of their son, Lucas, despite Lex being held hostage and his survival depending on Lionel telling the truth.

Refused to come clean about Level 3 when it would have saved the lives of a group of teenagers and his own son.

Ignored and denied any care to his employee, Earl Jenkins, who was poisoned by kryptonite on the job which led to uncontrollable, dangerous seizures.

Created a deadly fear toxin for the military that leaked into Smallville.

Drugged, gaslit, attacked, and framed his son, orchestrating a scenario where everyone would believe Lex to be crazy after Lex discovered Lionel had his parents murdered for insurance money. Lionel had Lex committed to Belle Reve Sanitarium where he had Lex further drugged and put through electroshock therapy, forcing 600 volts of electricity through Lex's brain. When the doctor insisted they pause the procedure for Lex's safety, Lionel ignored the warning and demanded they continue. This brain frying could have easily destroyed Lex's mind, as it did for others who endured it, and ultimately wiped away months of Lex's memories, allowing Lionel to be off the hook for his parent's murders. Everyone involved in Lionel's plot, all loose ends, met untimely deaths.

Threatened, manipulated, controlled, hyper criticized, denied affection, and lied to Lex constantly. Lionel mentally, emotionally, and physically abused his child throughout his entire life, raising him to become a monster and then denying any accountability for what Lex became in the end.

This list is far from complete, so feel free to add more!

#“My father made every question a quiz every choice a test.#Second best was for losers #compassion for the weak #trust no one.#Those were the lessons I grew up with.” -Lex #smallville #lionel luthor #lex luthor #sv meta #smallville lb #dc #abuse cw #long post

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weirdocat83 · 21 days ago

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Been really hoping to find some sort of college/dorm au where all the main arcane characters have to live in close proximity to each other. Mostly because it sounds like it’d be pure chaos and hilarity. The council members or main leaders of the undercity could be the faculty while the students are the “kids” of the show.

Jinx and Vi happen to be the adopted kids of one of the most well liked teachers/profs (vander) and have a few friends who aren’t adopted but might as well be (Claggor and Mylo) tho recently he adopted another kid after Jinx found her on the street (isha) and they are practically bonded at the hip. Especially since isha has been a HUGE help to Jinx’s mental health.

I think it’d be neat if Vander were in a car crash that almost kills them all. Powder was the one that unintentionally caused the crash by distracting Vander while he was driving. Vander goes into a coma, and Vi is understandably pissed and scared and it’s mostly aimed at powder. Vi stays by Vander’s bedside. Luckily, things weren’t too bad and he woke up within a month but powder and mostly Vi honestly, needed time apart. Powder went to live with Silco [they had their arguments but after seeing Vander almost die with his kids? Everything seemed a little childish after that] and Vi stayed with Vander. They spent a few years apart with their own lives with only occasional interaction until they wanted to reconcile and reconnect. It wasn’t easy and sometimes things are still weird but for the most part, things are good!

Jayce, Mel and Viktor all held off on college because of other issues they needed to take care of so they’re older than the rest of the cast. Mel was the death of her brother. She didn’t take it well and the family was going through issues as it was so Mel was sent out of state to college where she could have new experiences and meet new people. Viktor mostly had health issues that have been lessened but not eradicated (singed is his doctor. He works in experimental new ways of treating disease. This was mainly to cure his daughter). At the very least he can get a degree now. He got in on scholarship btw. Jayce was working for the Kirammans since high school but in order to move to a higher positions he needs a degree. He’s attending on their sponsorship.

Jinx skipped two grades so technically she’s ekko’s upperclassman even though she’s the same age. She will lord this over him so long as they’re both alive.

Idk I like the idea of all of them living relatively happily and generally annoying the shit out of each other. I mean, imagine jinx playing pranks on Jayce and not really knowing whether she likes Viktor or thinks his life advice is annoying. She enjoys tinkering with him and Ekko tho. Meanwhile ekko is possibly getting hunted down the second vi realizes that he’s dating her sister. Jinx isn’t sure whether to be amused and happy or concerned for ekko’s wellbeing. Similarly, when jinx found out Vi was dating Cait, she didn’t react well. They fought a lot when they first met. And Jinx’s insecurity over being replaced didn’t help. They worked it out eventually and have since bonded over shooting guns and lightly bullying Vi. Also Jayce and Viktor and Mel are all in a weird spot romantically. Up to you whether they all just date each other or fight for Jayce. Either way, their getting together is messy.

I will say that sometimes things just explode in the middle of the night and people have stopped questioning it ever since they set up a communication system that just assures them that it’s not anything dangerous. Usually it’s Jinx blowing things up but it’s often Ekko and Viktor. Also if you fall asleep in a common area you have to accept that you will get your face painted on. Caitlyn is So Done with people leaving their projects out on the common tables also.

Jayce and Vi regularly meet up to work out together and punch the shit out of each other. Meanwhile Caitlyn and Mel have tea together and talk shit abt people.

Viktor is the capybara of the friend group. Everyone is ok with him at the very least but as such he can and will roast any and everyone if prompted. Mel and Caitlyn are usually the ones with the collective brain cell. Ekko is not because when out in the same room as 3 other scientists just as unhinged as he is if not more so and 2 people more responsible than him, all sense of leadership dies.

#arcane #arcane college au #I want some crackfic #because it would be hilarious #and canon is sad #I want to see viktor up at 3AM on coffee and spite to finish an assignment #I want to see Jayce getting frustrated at the directions that Vi sent because they’re vague as hell #they sent Jinx to help but they should have known better #she laughs as he gets more and more lost #this goes on for another 30 minutes until they send Ekko #or Caitlyn getting so fed up with cleaning that she just… stops #and some of them have to beg her to teach them how to clean because they don’t really know how #she does a whole PowerPoint #and in exchange they do her work and pamper her #Mel has so much jewelry but nobody knows where the hell she keeps it all when they see her room #Caitlyn has no concept of money (she IS rich)#vander having to jump through hoops to secure the answer sheets to his tests because his daughters and company are in his class #everyone being lowkey terrified of silco except jinx who grew up with him and has seen him take in stray cats REPEATEDLY #some people don’t understand how she does it but then they see her mad and she looks so much like him that it’s scary #timebomb #caitvi #jayvik #jayce talis #jinx #ekko #vi arcane #caitlyn kiramman #mel medarda #weirdocat83 ramblings

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haunted-glassesgurl · 3 months ago

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I have this illusion that when Anya is older, 15 or 16 (operation strix is still ongoing, but everyone is aware of their identities) she is still trying to pretend not to like Damian. All her efforts to get close to him are still "for the mission" but she started to truly enjoy Damian's company.

And obviously our boy is now very much in love with Anya and has come to terms with that information, but, to his displeasure, Anya has stopped insisting on going to his house because she already is an imperial scholar and there is no need for her papa to go the the Desmond house.

And so, Damian is determined to spend time with Anya outside of school. His plan? To ask for him to go to HER house. Anya accepts and invites him to one of their family ootings.

They spend the day at the park, they go to a museum (because despite everything Twilight is still a spy and a spy maintains his cover, so he insists on going to the museum so as not to look "uncultured" in the Desmond's eyes, even if Damian doesn't care that much), and they end up again in their house, all four of them sitting around the table, drinking tea and telling silly stories.

Night time comes around and a car comes to pick Damian up, the Forger family greet him at the door and Yor insist that Anya walks him to the car. She takes Loid inside to watch them through the window (because they deserve privacy but they're still her parents). And when Damian is about to get in the car he turns around to face Anya.

'I really enjoyed spending time with your family, I hope I can come back for another "ooting"' He finally musters up the courage and hugs her. Short and quick, but both of them can feel their faces turn red. Damian lets her go and jumps in the car with a final goodbye.

Once he's gone Yor and Loid come down to the street to get Anya, only to find her standing there, crying. Their first instinct is to try and kill whatever made their baby cry, but when she starts smiling and hugs them their worries die a little. They hug their daughter back and stay there a few minutes, and after Anya stops crying they ask what happened. She simply replies with 'Anya's just happy to have this family'.

Okay so, I know this is super messy and probably not that good, but it's actually based on something that happened with me and my friend a couple of weeks ago. She only ever saw my parents two or three times before and one day I invited her to spend the day with us, and when we were leaving my parents house she said to me exactly what Damian says to Anya. I actually started crying because I think it's the first time one of my friends tells me that about my family. So yeah, just, Anya appreciating her family.

#spy x family #anya forger #damian desmond #damianya #yor briar #yor forger #loid forger #agent twilight #forger family #spy family #found family #they are babies

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obsessivelullabies · 10 months ago

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heyyy!! I was wondering if I could request a father figure Arthur Morgan with a fem! scruffy street orphan, who he found trying to steal from him? Maybe she's feisty and has no trust in him or the gang because of her background with no parents and being a kid in this era? all platonic btw <3

when you first tried stealing from arthur, he was pissed. you thought he’d kill you with how he snatched your arm, refusing to let you run off.

once arthur noticed you were just a kid, he felt bad. you’d tried to steal his gun. of course, he interrogated you. when you pathetically explained you needed something to protect yourself, he felt even worse for how angry he’d been.

he noticed how dirty your clothes were and how hungry you looked. he offered to take you back with him to his gang. when you refused, arthur followed you as you stormed off.

“you’re gonna die out there by yourself,” arthur called out to you. you knew he was right. that changed your mind.

so, arthur brought you back to camp. he promised dutch he’d watch over you. he made sure you got a warm bowl of stew and some bedding.

arthur understood you. he’d been in a similar situation as you. he never gave up on trying to help you.

arthur would try his best to earn your trust. he took his own money to buy you new clothes. he got sad watching you prance around in what was practically torn up rags.

once you trust him a little more, arthur would try to teach you how to read. you took him up on the offer. whenever he had free time, he’d help you read through children’s books.

at your request, arthur taught you how to shoot and hunt. you two would eagerly celebrate your first catch, no matter how small or puny it was.

you had plans to eventually leave the gang. yet, arthur’s constant kindness to you encouraged you to stay. he took care of you and protected you.

arthur playfully started calling you his apprentice, with how he was always teaching you something new, the title fit perfectly.

over the months, you and arthur were always together. unless he was bounty hunting or robbing, than he’d insist you stay at camp.

arthur wanted a better life for you than the life of a criminal. he tried finding someone to teach you better skills like sewing or singing. no matter what, he wanted the best life for you. almost how a father wants the best for his daughter.

masterlist! | reblogs and comments appreciated. | unedited.

#rdr2 x reader #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #platonic x reader #arthur morgan x f!reader #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader

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robinhuntr · 2 months ago

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ok ok ok, so the absolute universe hasn't introduced a green arrow yet so here's my take on it.

Heres my random quick sketches of Roy as Absolute Green Arrow and a crappy sketch of his makeshift costume.

Since he's in Seattle (or Star City, whatever the status of that is currently) I wanted him to take inspiration from grunge, especially Kurt Cobain since he is a Seattle legend (I don't really show it because I show him in his costume but normally he would dress in a lot more baggy/worn out clothes). But also I had to include his weird love of sleeveless hoodies because it's actually so funny to me.

And here is my very long-winded explanation of my Absolute Green Arrows back story:

The thing that Oliver Queen would lose is his time on the island, because he doesn't go on the island he never grows from the island, he never becomes Green Arrow; we'll come back to Oliver

Since Oliver doesn't become Green Arrow and fix (some of) the error of his way, he never meets Roy. Instead, Roy stays on the streets of Seattle/ Star City and becomes very in touch with the city's people and their needs. Roy's original backstory doesn't change too much, he still loses his parents and grows up on the Spokane reservation before leaving for the city, so that's where he learns his archery.

Roy ends up getting a job and a shitty apartment and meets Jade (who is still an assassin) but not through some mission. ( I don't know how they meet but I'll come up with it later lol). They have Lian and Jade leaves them making Roy a single father living paycheck to paycheck trying to take care of his daughter.

This is where he ends up as Green Arrow: some real estate company buys his apartment building and wants to demolish it to replace it with much nicer/ more expensive penthouses. Roy decides to do something about it and uses his archery skills from his childhood to take out the heads of the company forcing them to back off the project for a while. After he sees how much this helped not only him and Lian but also everyone in the building with him, he decides to take up the Green Arrow persona officially. As Green Arrow he protects his community from rich assholes trying to take advantage of them just likes Oliver does in the main universe; however, unlike Oliver, Roy is actually in the communities being affected, he excels where Oliver doesn't because the issues he's solving are the issues affecting him.

Here's where Oliver comes into play: when Roy decides to take Lian back to the Reservation to show her where he grew up, he gets there and sees a protest against a pipeline being built straight through the middle of the reservation (similar to the "Return of Roy Harper" storyline in Green Arrow Rebirth). He sees the Queen Industries logo on the building materials and when he gets back home to Seattle/Star City, he does what he always does and takes down the project by taking down the people leading the project. When Oliver finds out that the mysterious Green Arrow that has been terrorizing the rich CEOs around him is now attacking his company, he decides to strike back. Oliver, instead of becoming the Green Arrow, becomes The Dark Archer/Merlin and targets Roy.

I have no idea how Dinah would come into play or if she would come into play, same with the others. I think that Mia could end up becoming Roy's Speedy in a similar way to how she becomes Speedy in the main universe. I think that if Emiko came into play she would be on Oliver's side, same with Conner (although I can also see Oliver teaming up with Roy to stop his father).

Also, Lian doesn't die in this because I'm sick of that little girl getting killed in terrible ways.

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ladylooch · 1 year ago

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I die anytime I read protective/possessive 🤤🤤 what about all the times barzal was protective of reader 🥺

A/N: Okay!I love these! But I've never been asked for something like this. So, thank you!

All the times Mat Barzal was protective of you:

The time, before you weren't even dating, where your brother was threatening to punch you for taking his car without asking. Mat thought he was serious and stepped between you two. Mat told your brother “You’ll hit the ground before you’re even done swinging.”

The time, when you came to visit Mat in New York, and got a little lost trying to come back with coffee. You called Mat, borderline hyperventilating, he came sprinting down the street, hugging you so hard you spilt the coffee. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “Let’s go get breakfast instead.”

Mat has been known to tell people to stop looking at you when you’re out at the bar. You’re trying to be casual with the Isles group and Mat’s like a rabid dog at all the bros who think they’re gonna come buy you a drink. One of them gets testy, saying Mat’s too pretty to be intimidating. “How about you fuck around and find out, bud?” Mat says, attempting to stand from his stool. You sit down hard on his lap, telling him if he’s good, he can fuck your mouth later.

One night, you had awful stomach pain and couldn’t stop throwing up. Mat got worried and called the team doctor. They came over, checked you out, and insisted you needed to go to the ER immediately. Turns out, appendicitis is as painful as they say. Mat stayed behind and met the team late just to stay with you through the whole procedure, only leaving when your mom pushed him out of the apartment. “But… she needs me!” He insisted to her. “Mat! Your team does!” You yell to him as your mom shuts the door in his face.

One night, Mat gets a little rough while fucking you, which you love, but then he spends the next few days constantly asking if you’re okay. He comes home with flowers and cupcakes and your favorite energy drinks. He dots on you all over the apartment, hands roaming along your hips, ass, breasts, and cheeks constantly needing reassurance from you that you’re okay. “Baby.” You whine when he tries to follow you into the bathroom. “This is too much!” “I was so rough.” “Yeah, and I’ve never come that hard.” You look pointedly at him. He pauses, considering. “Come out of that bathroom naked. Let’s try it again.”

But none of these compares to what happens when you get pregnant unexpectedly.

Mat is everything you need in a partner. Baby books, done. Every appointment, there. Ultrasound pics in his locker, absolutely. Smothering your baby bump with smooches, where else would his lips go??

But when it comes time for you to give birth, he is wheezing with panic as you’re pushing. He’s muttering under his breath prayers to every God he can think of. You purse your lips as the next contraction bares down on you, squeezing Mat’s hand in both pain and reassurance. “Please be okay.” He begs when the baby is placed on your chest. Your daughter wails back at him and Mat loses it, tears falling onto his face as he passionately kisses you.

Yes, he is the dad that drives literally ten miles an hour down the street the whole way home from the hospital. “Honk all you want, douche bag. I’m not going above 11!” Mat grumbles as you hide your embarrassed cheeks with your hands in the back seat.

When you see him in the nursery, holding her close, placing soft kisses on her dainty nose, you’re thankful there is someone to share Mat’s protective attention with. Maybe you’ll get to leave the house without your faithful protector trailing after you.

Spoiler: you don’t. And that’s perfectly fine because you know with Mat, you’ll always be safe.

#Mat Barzal #mat barzal fic #hockey writing #nhl fan fiction #my writing #writing request #New York islanders

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mistydeyes · 1 year ago

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never grow up

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

summary: Your husband's early death leaves you trying to put back the pieces together with your children. Yet at every milestone and after years of their passing, you're still reminded that they aren't here. Highkey inspired by Never Grow Up (TS Version), this song would literally always make me cry and I still listen to it on my drive back to college.

pairing: 141 x fem!Reader (continuation with the mum from my previous fic)

warnings: major character death, angst, swearing, alcoholism

a/n: just gotta keep this angst train going I GUESS but what happens when they die instead of you?

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreamin' So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

"Let's get you to bed," you said as your little twins walked out of the bathroom. This routine felt foreign to you as Johnny had always helped you get them ready. "C'mon let's get those teeth brushed," you said gently as you led your children upstairs. After a few minutes, Johnny had finished the dishes and he smiled to himself as he joined into the small bathroom. "Alright now let's show Daddie how we brush," you exclaimed and Johnny watched as you all danced around the room, toothbrushes in hand. He loved the rhythmic sound of your footsteps dancing around as you tried to make the nightly routine fun. "All done!" your daughter exclaimed as she stood there proudly. Your son joined next to her and they showed off their matching pajamas. "Can't tell you two apart," he joked as the whole home was filled with giggles.

That thought was in the past as he had been gone for two weeks and you struggled every day. The world had lost its color and everything was more quiet than you remembered. You'd drive down different streets to avoid your husband's memory and even changed your entire routine but the grief is still there. You had taken off an indeterminate amount of time from work and no one blamed you. This was the first time putting your children to bed as your sister had been helping you out for the last few weeks. As you tucked the twins in, your son reached out and held your hand tightly.

"Mammy, I can't sleep," he whispered and your heart broke. His hand was wrapped around your finger and he looked at you with tears in his eyes. "I can stay for a while," you quietly said as you tried to lie down in your son's small bed. Your son cuddled up to you as he cried into your arm. "Why did Daddie go away?" he wailed as you shakily patted his back. You took a moment to answer as you tried to blink away tears of your own. "He was going somewhere we couldn't but trust me he's having lots of fun" you whispered as the tears began to fall freely, "he's probably watching a football game, you know how much he loves those." Your son sniffled for a few moments and you could feel your arm become soaked with the little one's tears.

"Are you gonna go too, Mammy?" you son asked shakily. "I'll be here when you wake up, trust me," you said reassuringly before your son rolled over and cried to sleep. You continued to draw reassuring circles on his back as you held your sobs in. You stayed like that until you could see his eyelids flutter and the room was filled with rhythmic breathing. You kissed your son and daughter on the forehead as you quietly left the room. You made sure to turn the nightlight on before exiting into the dark hallway. You closed the door to the bedroom quietly and headed downstairs. No matter how long it had been, you couldn't sleep in your bed as you would always wake up expecting his smiling face to be there.

At fourteen, there's just so much you can't do And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

"Alright enjoy the movie, love" you said as you dropped your daughter off to the cinema. After days of fighting, you had allowed her to go and meet some friends. Your daughter knew it was a difficult time so she tried to be understanding but eventually, it all exploded. Your son had moved out and naturally, you and your daughter were at odds. Words had been said and you both regretted them. If Simon were here, he would have taken the situation over and somehow you would have come to an agreement. But he wasn't and you were left to deal with it alone.

"Thanks, Mum," she said curtly before she went to exit the door. You stopped her before she opened it. "I'm sorry," you began to say as her back faced you, "Rose, it's not fair that you have to stay home because of it." You refused to say his death but you both knew today was the anniversary of his passing. Even turned away, you could tell your daughter was still upset. Your daughter let a few tears fall before she turned to you. "I'm sorry too, Mum," she said as she embraced you. You shared a quiet moment before your daughter heard her friends call to her. "I'll have Imogen's mum drop me off later," she said before you could object. "I already asked so you don't have to worry," she whispered before kissing your cheek and walking away.

When you went home, you poured the same bottle of Bourbon you had kept all these years. You were conservative with it and portioned two out, always one for you and one for him. You shakily poured the heavy bottle into the crystal glasses you had been given on your wedding day. You closed your eyes as you tried to remember his voice. "Simon look!" you exclaimed and he turned to look at you. He blocked the mid-afternoon light as he leant down on the couch. "John got us lowball classes so we can enjoy some good ol' Southern bourbon together," you remarked and twirled the glasses in your hand. "I thought you hated the stuff, love" he replied as he took them to be washed. "I could learn to love it for my new husband," you joked before he kissed you on the cheek. You tried to remember what he were wearing but your memory failed you. When you opened your eyes, part of you expected to see him there but instead in front of you were two glasses filled with the brown liquid. You choked down the brown solution as you painfully swallowed his memory and the strong liquor.

When your daughter returned home, she took the other glass and poured it out into the sink. She put the ornate bottled bourbon away and threw out the other cheap bourbon you had bought on your way home. Just another failed attempt of enjoying your late husband's favorite alcohol. "I'm home, Mum, let's get you to bed," she whispered as she gently shook your arm. You hugged her goodnight before you ascended the stairs to the empty bedroom. As you shut the door, your daughter could've sworn she heard you cry.

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home Remember the footsteps, remember the words said

"Alright Ives, it's time to go to bed," you called as you entered your daughter's bedroom. The room was barren except for a few objects, the rest were sitting downstairs in cardboard boxes taking up the dining room. Your daughter was finishing up packing her remaining things when she turned to you. "We have a long day tomorrow," you said as you moved the box to the hallway. You looked around the room and frowned slightly at the emptiness. "I couldn't get the stars off," Ivy said quietly and you looked up to see glow-in-the-dark stars plastered to the ceiling. The stars had been up there since she was young, a purchase you had made when your daughter, at 5 years old, expressed interest in space. "Dad must've super glued it or something," she laughed sadly as she joined your eyes to the ceiling. You remembered when Kyle offered to put them up, haphazardly hanging off a ladder as he glued the small stars. "He loved this house, probably never wanted us to leave," you replied and hugged her goodnight.

You took one last look at the room before closing the door gently and retreating to the bedroom. You walked around the cardboard box and slowly made your way through the hallway. You navigated with the glow of the soft lights, avoiding looking at the photographs that depicted your late husband. You couldn't look at the happy gaze of him on your wedding day or when you had first brought Ivy home. In the glare of the overhead lights, they attempted to call for your attention. The last photo before your bedroom was his military portrait, sent to you by parcel from the Special Air Service. You couldn't pass this one idly by as the light switch sat next to it. Your husband looked so proud in his formal uniform and you let your hand gently glide along the frame.

As you entered your bedroom, you laid out your clothes out for the next morning. It wasn't anything special just some simple shorts and a shirt. Despite that, you knew Kyle would still say you were the most beautiful woman on earth. You settled on the simple attire as you were moving your daughter into uni and knew the day would be filled with a long drive and an even longer time transporting all of her things. You used to put your clothes out every morning and Kyle would always place his next to yours. The room was relatively untouched since he died, with only a few new pictures of you and your daughter sitting on the dresser. You half-heartedly walked to the bathroom and went through the motions of your evening routine before sinking underneath the cold sheets.

As you closed your eyes to sleep, you could remember Kyle coming home when your daughter was still young. Kyle would always arrive late at night and would always be silent when he came home. However, you and your daughter would always be up waiting for him. "Shhh I think he's coming," you whispered as you saw the driveway's floodlights turn on. As Kyle turned the knob, he saw you and your daughter sitting on the steps. "Welcome home!" you both announced as you went to hug him. "Loves, what are you doing awake?" he asked but he knew the answer. "It's a tradition, no matter how late," you said as you kissed his cheek. "Now let's get you unpacked," Ivy said as she struggled to take his duffle upstairs.

So here I am in my new apartment In a big city, they just dropped me off It's so much colder than I thought it would be

"And that's the last box," you said as you placed the cardboard box on your son's counter. After a whole day of moving, you had finally finished getting everything out of the moving truck. Your son was on his own now, having moved to London and was starting a new job that Monday. He navigated the busy streets with the truck and you both felt accomplished as you looked at the wide space. The air was cold as you begun the day and now small snow crystals coated the flat's window.

"He would've loved this place," you said as you put your head on your son's shoulders. The flat was fit for a young adult, with a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a nice living room. "Did I ever tell you how bad his first assignment was?" you joked and your son laughed. When you first met John, you hated the small barracks he found himself in when he was his son's age. Part of you was glad your son hadn't joined the military, John always regretted the long months away from home. "He would have thought this was great but he would've taken over the unpacking," he replied and you smiled at your husband's memory. He was right after all, you always had a vision on how to turn a house into a home and John would always follow with the heavy lifting. "I guess he would have," you replied sadly and your son saw a few tears fall. You stood like that for a few moments before you saw yourself out with a promise to call sometime that week.

As you arrived to the empty home, you gently hung your coat on the rack. You were now officially an empty nester as your youngest was gone. You smiled sadly as you looked on the calendar as to when your eldest and his family would be visiting again. As you counted down the days, you remembered when you were pregnant and decorating your youngest son's nursery. "John, no put that over there," you directed as you sat in a chair with your enlarged belly. "I don't think the baby is going to care, sweetheart," he replied as he moved the framed map to the other side of the nursery. You had insisted on hanging vintage maps and travel posters, even purchasing a mobile with hanging clouds and a plane. You hoped your son would travel the world some day. "I'll care though," you said as he nailed the picture in. John sat next to you as you smiled at him. "You'd think I'd know a thing or two after two kids," he joked and placed a hand on your stomach. Almost immediately, the baby kicked as he held his hand there softly. "He agrees with my design choices," you joked and the room filled with laughter. While you did accomplish some destinations with your children on shared travel bucket list, it never was the same. The worn postcards from your travels as a young adult sat in the same box it always had. You grabbed them from the shelf, blowing off some accumulated dust. As you looked at your delicate handwriting and depiction of your travels, you felt some tears pierce your eyes. At the bottom of the pile, lay your only postcard you received from John. A postcard from Amsterdam with the writing reading "To my favorite traveler, here's one place I went to before you. Love, John"

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radioisntdead · 7 months ago

Text

Rot

Lute x implied to be female reader

Warnings: this got out of hand I don't know what I wrote, death.

Song used!

We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side

Each year hundreds of exorcists fly down and exterminate sinners, keeping hells population low and permanently putting an end to the wretched people who earned their spots there.

Some things are black, and you know

You were one of these exorcists, horned mask on your head, an angelic scythe in hand.

You were proud of what you did.

Some things are white, it’s just so

You were merciless on the battlefield, no matter how much they begged or screamed you slit their throats with ease, joyfully showing off to your fellow exorcists and joyously celebrating with them once back in the safe haven that was heaven.

You never stopped to smell the roses, oh no.

One in particular you carved the attention of, Lieutenant Lute.

But you’re the good guy, uhuh?

The way she commanded attention, the way she spoke with such confidence enticed you, and so everything you did was to gather her attention and her affections.

And he’s just some other scum?

And you nearly obtained it, you had it in your grasp, with your wings curled around her, her hand holding yours.

What a sad hill you’ve left yourself to die on.

But clearly she didn't hold onto those simple affections deeply as you did since she left you to rot in hell.

All because you witnessed what she did to Vaggie, someone you considered a sister, her eye was gouged and her wings were taken from her.

You were lucky enough to just be thrown into a crumpling wall and crushed beneath the rumble that you eventually dug yourself out of, she didn't even look at you when she did so.

So many shades of gray

Surrounded by the filth and scum, with sucky sinners who were spending their afterlives in agony as punishment for their sins.

Oh, how can you say you’re all grown yet still not know?

With your mask destroyed and your halo cracked, you peaked out from beneath the rubble, watching as your fellow exorcists, the people you called family flew away back to heaven leaving you behind.

Did they even know what their commander did to Vaggie and you?

Good easily fades away

You were left to the mercy of the very sinners you swore you'd annihilate.

Naive young beau, I will swallow you whole.

You did what you needed to survive, you were already left in hell, keeping virtues was the last thing you needed to keep.

You stole clothes, food, money anything you needed to stay alive.

Because I'm a villain

You had to learn many things, like how to properly defend yourself, because the way you and your fellow exorcists fought left you open and easy to take down, or whatever the hell a overlord was, you'd think they would've at least debriefed you on this!

I’ll go for the throat and slit

You learned that not everyone there was as heartless and wicked you thought,

That girl that ran a hellish library near your shitty apartment wasn't completely evil because she did what she had to do to provide for her younger sisters, your neighbor wasn't wicked because she killed her abusive fiancé, that boy that tinkered away across the street in a clock shop wasn't evil because he struggled and made a horrible, horrible decision to end that struggle.

That library girl made you new clothing to wear when the ones you had begun to visibility fall apart, asking for nothing in return.

Your neighbor looked out for you, bringing you over a plate of dinner saying she made too much, sometimes fretting over you like a mother would to a daughter.

That tinkering boy across the street talked to you in the middle of the night when you were walking around aimlessly wondering where everything went wrong, cheering you up.

Didn’t notice, What a wicked little devil I could be,

They were not wicked, they shouldn't have ended up down there,

You knew that there were folks who DID, deserve to be down there, like that purple bastard that you noticed directed almost every porn film down here,

People talked about his track record,

Oh how you would LOVE to sink your scythe into him.

Or that creepy who catcalled your friend, and who DID get your scythe embedded into his skull.

but babe, You're a villain

Eventually you reunited with Vaggie, agreeing that it would be best to keep your pasts hidden from those you cherished.

You’ll reach for the knife and twist

Eventually you met her girlfriend, the princess of hell,

How did she manage to fall in love with and date her? You didn't really know but you were proud of your found-family sister for finding someone that made her happy in this wretched place.

Hello new friend, the dark thing that you want to hide from me.

Eventually Charlie, Vaggie's girlfriend and effectively your future sister in-law, shared her dreams about wanting to redeem sinners, and Vaggie supported her in it.

Good luck.

And being Vaggie's sister got roped into it, you didn't move into the hotel as you wanted to look out for the folks you lived near, but you spent a good bit of your time there, helping out where you could.

You were dragged up to heaven along with Charlie and Vaggie, one moment you were trailing behind an ecstatic Charlie and an anxious Vaggie.

I'm killing someone maybe

And now you were corned against a wall right outside the room you were staying in, by someone you loved once, golden eyes staring harshly into yours.

You're killing someone maybe,

You once thrived in the affection those eyes looked at you with but now you wished you could pluck them from their sockets like she had done to Vaggie.

I'm killing you maybe

If it was you years prior you would've rather perished then have the desire to harm Lute, oh how times change!

You're killing me maybe

You grinned up at her, once upon a time you would've melted into a puddle at her cornering you but now it just filled you with disgust.

We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side

"Why the fuck are you here?"

"Oh? is that anyway to greet an old friend, Lulu?" You asked tilting your head.

"Don't call me that."

But what if we're the villains, on the other

Despite your rather playful tone the disdain in your eyes made her freeze, you had once looked at her with adoration.

Am I good, Am I bad, ay

With her frozen you shoved her away and scrambled into the room you were staying in.

Are you good?

The next time you saw Lute was during the whole 'you didn't know' where not only Vaggie but you were exposed as former Exorcists and cast back down.

Are you bad? ay

Lute wasn't expecting to see you again, she knew that you wouldn't die easily mostly because you still had your scythe, not to mention you were quite resourceful, after all she did have affections for you many years ago.

The one that I would take a bullet for is

Maybe if you weren't there when she took away Vaggie's wing privileges you would've been something more.

treated like a dirty dog somewhere else, say

Maybe a pair of sliver rings would've adorned your and her ring fingers.

Are we good

She'd be lying if the look of hatred in your eyes when you looked at her squeezed at her heart, like needles pricking at her.

Are we bad, ay

But she did what she had to do, and if 'protecting' heaven meant leaving you behind to rot then that is what she must do.

What is good, what is bad, ay

She didn't become lieutenant by being soft.

While you would've set heaven, earth and hell ablaze if she did so much as ask, she let left you for dead.

The one that I would choose a bullet for is

Adam changed when the next extermination was, the first place that he was going to target was Charlie's hotel.

Treated like a prince, throne in his father’s house, say

You couldn't believe you once followed that dickhead.

So many shades of gray

No one in that hotel was going down without a fight, not Charlie, not Vaggie, not Alastor, not husk, not Angel dust, not Sir Pentious, not Niffty, and Certainly not you.

Oh how can you say that you know, but not follow?

On the day of extermination you had conflicting feelings, on one hand you were mercilessly taking down exorcists, some of which were people you used to be friends with, you knew their hopes and dreams, their hobbies and interests, and you were here slicing them down with your axe.

And on other hand you were defending the hotel.

Good easily fades away

You welded your scythe like a grim reaper, an angel of death, it didn't help that you were dressed in black, if you didn't have wings you would've opted to wear a cloak.

Naive young beau, I will swallow you whole

Eventually you ended up a little further away from the fight and stumbled upon a armless Lute flying through.

Because 1, 2, I'm a villain

Vaggie may have let her live for whatever reason.

Take a stab at you in the dark

You however didn't hold the same sentiments of having Lute live with regret or anger or whatever she felt.

Didn’t notice

You flew and tackled her in the air.

What a wicked little devil I could be, but dear

You came at her as a blur of black, gold and a hint of sliver from your scythe.

You're a villain

The two of you spun around plumbing into the ground.

Take a knife to me in the heart

Golden blood splattered from Lute's injury.

Hello new friend, the wicked thing you hate to see in me.

A loud crack came from Lute's wing, followed by her screams.

Drink up.

You scrambled off of her as she struggled to get up.

All villains, make you beg for your every breath

You watched her with a grin, you grabbed your scythe and raised it high.

What a group of, Wicked wretched little beasts we are, baby.

You took a breath.

What fun.

Her spear entered your stomach.

We're all villains

She was quick, despite losing an arm and having a broken wing, Lute still had the resilience to pick up a spear and lunge it into you.

Pluck the air right out from your chest.

She pulled it out, and you using whatever adrenaline that was still in your body swung down your scythe.

Hello new friends, and welcome to the devil's house party.

Slicing her torso.

I'm killing someone maybe

She fell and you soon collapsed beside her.

You're killing someone maybe

Golden blood pooled around the two of you pooling into each other, who's blood was who's, no one could tell.

I'm killing you maybe, You're killing me maybe

One would wonder where the two of your souls would end up, would they appear again in hell? With a more devilish appearance, after all murder is a sin is it not? or would they go somewhere else?

We all pretend to be the heroes

On opposite sides, the surviving exorcists deemed you a horrid villain who betrayed them along with Vaggie, on the other side hell considered them ravenous creatures who come down and slaughter sinners for fun.

On the good side

The exorcists have a purpose, they permanently rid of unredeemable scum, but along with that they got rid of those who deserved a second chance and would've ended up in heaven if they were given that chance.

But what if we're the villains, on the other

But that's neither here nor there, you glanced at Lute, how ironic that the two of you killed each other?

We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side

Maybe in another world the two of you could pick up where you left off from before she left you to die in hell.

It was a foolish thought but it was funny to think of as you felt death creep in, it was comforting and confusing in a way.

You yawned, you oddly enough you weren't scared of what could come next, it just felt like you were going to sleep for the night, a sleep you wouldn't be waking up from anytime soon.

But what if we're the villains on the other

"Goodnight Lulu, see you on the other side." You mumbled closing your eyes for the last time.

"Fuck you,"

We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side

"I'll see you on the other side."

Good evening folks! I'm here with this, it was supposed to be a lot more, romance-y at the beginning but I just didn't do that? I don't know what that ending was either ALSO I LOVE THE NICKNAME LULU FOR LUTE, anyways, I hope you enjoyed! As always thank you for tuning on in!

Psst, you should totally join our discord server

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel lute x reader #hazbin lute x reader #lute x reader

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deviouscrackers · 29 days ago

Text

Eternity

A TSAMS God AU Drabble (764 Words)

A/N: I've had this in my mind for a while, though I've only now written it. I sincerely hope you enjoy.

The streets are devoid of life, shadows lengthened by gorgeous rays of light peaking from beyond the darkened moon. Those caught in the unawares or too poor to protect themselves hide in alleyways; the homeless, scrappy orphans, the uncared for dregs of society, they all huddle together, seeking what they know to be their last moments of warmth.

A dreadful pitter patter of bare feet, heard above the hushed wailing cries of the forgotten, send shivers down even the most battle-hardened. Candles lit mere moments ago flicker and die in a second, leaving only translucent wisps of grey smoke behind.

A young woman, whose husband left to find medicine for their sick child days ago and would not be back for days more, holds her small, sickly, and sleepy child close. The woman knows that she will not live to see her child awake once again. She hears it in the creaking of her front door and smells it in the lingering death of her fellow neighbours and beyond. It tastes both coppery and salty.

There's a flap of fabric at the bedroom curtain, and there her reaper is. He stands still and straight. There's a certain hardness to him, as though he's stronger than he looks. In the last of her dying light, just before the fire snuffs out, she can see the deep, despairing void of solid black that lingers under his veil.

His eyes are a peak into eternity, into concepts that leave her with nothing but hopeless apathy. The young woman's eyes flicker to her child, and a raging mix of determination and hope swells her again.

She will not make it. Her daughter will. That is her promise.

When he finally speaks, his voice rings out into the foreboding darkness. Firm and uncaring.

"You are the last," Is all he says, "Your death will seal the deal. It will save everyone."

"And what of my daughter?" The woman bites back. The man tilts his head, light hair spilling over his shoulders.

"What of her?"

"She is sick and my husband is gone finding medicine in another town! I refuse to leave if my daughter is not safe."

"You have very little control over whether you leave or not," He points out, then adds in a considering tone, "But perhaps I can help you out, young one. Place your child somewhere safe, just for the next few minutes. Upon the sols return I shall return to protect her."

The young woman complies. She's quick, a practised hand, yet is slowed down by her shaking. It does not matter, her child will be safe. Once she's done she presses a gentle kiss to her daughter's forehead. She turns back to her future murderer.

"Tell me your daughter's name, young one."

"Evelyn."

"Ev-e-lyn. I see."

"What will become of her?" She asks, far more kindly than before.

"Have I not given you more than enough?" He waves away the woman's apologies. "She will be safe. However, on her sixth birthday, she will become something inhuman. Monstrous. But from then on she will be under the protection of Sun and his ilk.

A part of her beating heart settles. The young woman takes a deep breath and falls to her knees, intending to thank the god. Barely a sound escapes her lips before she is gone.

The reaper leaves. He has a job to do.

In the end, the sol returns. The bustle and activity in Honeybell City slowly returns, with an infectious kindness and pity spreading to those who'd lost a loved one. As promised, the god returns, though not as himself.

It is not with soft pitter pattering that he announces himself, but with the jingle of bells and the tapping of shoes. He approaches the baby with a gentle hum low in his throat. Sun scoops the baby up and takes her to the sweet village of Marigold, a short two week journey from the city.

For him, it's barely seconds, and he's soon placing the babe down in the room of a newly widowed man. The stench of humanity and yearning fills his lungs, and Sun decides that he cannot stay. Still, he allowed himself a moment, just a moment, to produce a beautiful golden flame. It warps, bending and writhing and dancing, until it becomes a small, comfy toy. Sun gently tucks it into the child's arms before disappearing.

The new father steps into the room just as Sun leaves in a fiery blaze, and all he sees is the glimmer of a white void, hopeless and despairing.

Eternity.

#tsams #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #tsams sun #tsams au #tsams god au #tsams dark sun #tsams fanfiction #tsams fic #laes dazzle

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unfortunately-obsessed · 10 months ago

Text

I'll love you like a dog (you'll betray me like a man)

A/N: Not proofread. Rushed this before the gym tbh. Hope y'all guys enjoy. AO3 link

"Why do you need to punish yourself this much?"

Most houses and apartments on Earth-42 rest in darkness, so you glance down the street, eyes straining at the neon of rooftops. It's pouring. Miguel didn't had the chance to put up a fight when you are being this cruel.

The pressure is unbearable, his shoulders tense. You watched him send Gwen back her universe despite the probability of her having to confront homelessness there. You watched Miguel try to hurt a kid, and now you're watching as he sets teams to hunt Miles.

"I need to fix this," he tells you, staring and fists clenched. His voice's flat. It's the same answer everytime. You're used to it.

And you know why, of course. It's the reason why every Spider-Man must suffer.

It's the tenderness of grief. Tender like a bruise.

Miguel suffers and weeps. It's sickening to watch how much pain can make you aggressive.

You're more than aware you're a bad person. Never a hero, never sure why you were accepted among them.

(The truth about the multiverse is that they don't know it enough. The canon theory could be right. It could be wrong. They will never know in their lifetime.

It's cruel and merciless and they will never understand it fully.

You're never fast enough to save a person. You are fast enough to watch them die.

Grief comes in waves. Miguel will never see his daughter grow up.)

"Years dedicated to this job," you lament, voice clear through rain, "It all comes down to letting people die."

In another life, we bump on each other at the grocery store. There, we are meant to a happy ending.

Never this one. Here, Miguel looks at you with dread despite all else.

He stiffens further. And you're on his side, he knows it, because you will always be, loyalty outweighting what you know is wrong.

"I don't need your approval," he says. Miguel looks at you strange, eyes fiery red as if glowing with contained rage.

You inch closer to him. Miguel keeps dooming himself. It always going to end up like this.

"I'm just saying," you start, and there's something horrible inside you, "there's no coming back after this."

It's the awareness that you will let Miguel ruin you. Besides that, you would dissect him to know what's happening in his brain, gut him like a fish.

Grief comes in waves. It outweights reason, born from love. Gabriella's laughter is so loud in his head, right now. Not one day passed that he didn't want to take the his heart out of the chest.

You enable the worst in each other. It's true, you had watched him bite off the neck of a person, blood dripping from his fangs. He had watched you punch someone until your own knuckles scratched open.

"I know," Miguel snarls. Life brimming with sorrow. "But you will be on my side."

Jeff Davis has been dead since the beginning. This can go only one way.

Yet, what were Miles supposed to do? Stay still and watch his father die?

And what were you supposed to do? You'd chose Miguel over anybody else. You were never a good person.

Miguel is, though. Despite everything else, he is trying to do what he finds right. Despite the bitterness, the grief.

Somewhere else, I try harder to stop you. Here, I don't try at all. Here, I will meet you halfway.

It rains. It had been raining. The truth is that you are better a weapon than a person. Never letting go of violence like a mother's hand.

"Always," you say.

"And you understand why," he croaks out, solemnly. Taking a shuddering breath.

You purse your lips. "I do."

Loving Miguel had made you worse. "You will regret this," he waves, leaning closer.

You cannot save. You can only try. In another universe, we grew up together. The grief doesn't end but so does the love.

"Maybe." You smile to him, it's not a happy sight. He doesn't falter. "But you can do anything and I won't leave you."

Miguel is making the wrong decision. It's okay, good people also make bad things.

You stand in front of Miguel, and he loves you too. That's why he allows you to be here. "Just don't go where I can't follow."

Everything's sacrificial– you'll make Miguel's massacre holy until there's nothing else to sacrifice.

A/N: If you like what I do, please consider supporting me and buying a coffee!

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara #atsv #arwrites #me!spiderman2o99

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calummss · 1 year ago

Text

Reborn in Death | Thomas Shelby

masterlist

summary: things are not always what they seem. behind a happy facade hides the horror of reality not everyone can live with; including you

pairing: fem! reader x thomas shelby

words: 800

a/n: i’m not putting tw just bc i want the reader in the unknown. there’s a theme of death. if you don’t think you can handle it or unsure don’t read.

‘Say goodbye to daddy, Lillian.’ You rocked your daughter on your arm, stepping into the kitchen where Thomas was smoking.

Thomas turned to you before placing his cigarette on the ashtray, his hands reaching out for Lillian’s face, her cheeks never safe from his pinching.

‘Have a good day with mummy,’ he gave her a quick kiss, ‘try not to cry too much.’

‘You’ll be good, won’t you?’ You grinned at her.

Thomas also gave you a quick kiss, reminding you to stay safe on your morning stroll with Lillian.

Lillian loved your little walks. She seemed to be more relaxed when she could feel the warmth of the sun on her skin, the wind, the sounds of chirping birds when they were there.

‘We should be back in an hour or so.’ Another quick smile before leaving the door to place little Lillian inside the stroller. Tucking her in and making sure she was covered, the biting coldness of winter starting to get colder by the day.

The streets were mostly empty. The only ones that found themselves outside were the unfortunate, or workers, forced to take a shift no matter the conditions.

You took the usual route to the nearby park, trying to get Lillian to see the world for the beauty it had. Wanting her to see different things nature had created. Lillian liked ducks. You took notice of it when she started grinning at them, they’re quacks making her giggle hysterically.

The pond was not yet frozen, the water still flowing peacefully. Ducks floating above the crystal waters, their colourful feathers reflecting a beautiful ombré.

‘When are you going to tell her, Thomas?’ Polly took a drag of her black rolled cigarette, her eyes gleaming.

Thomas’ back was pressed against the wall, he inhaled the silver smoke that relieved him of his nerves.

‘You have to,’ she snapped, her voice growing louder, ‘her delusion is starting to spread across town. How will that make us look good? Let alone her.’ Aunt Pol bit her lip, her honey eyes glued on Thomas’ frame as he hung his head, the weight on his shoulders growing heavier as she continued to speak.

‘What do you want me to say, Pol?’ He glanced up, his voice the softest it had been.

‘That Lillian died and that what she is holding is a doll!’

‘You know I can’t do that!’

’You have to!’

‘I CAN’T!’ Thomas shouted back, hands sliding across his face.

Polly marched towards him, her hands trembling. ‘YOU HAVE—‘

‘SHE KILLED HIM!’ He yelled, his face eye to eye with her.

Tommy’s eyes bounced back and forth, unable to focus with the dragging noise of his heart that silently grew louder and louder as he looked at Polly’s face. The horror made him sick.

‘What?’ Her eyes somewhat softened, still wide as her heart stopped beating what seemed to be too long for her to still be alive, her hands no longer shaking. Paralysed.

Thomas’ hand brushed against his lip, turning around, pacing across the living room, his feet moving despite his wish to settle. ‘She was home alone when Kimber came here, the day we sent our men to the race. She hid in a kitchen cabinet when the baby suddenly started crying.’ His voice started shaking, just enough to tell that Thomas Shelby carried a heavy weight in his soul, every word harder to say out loud. ‘She was so scared. So scared to die. She covered Lillian’s mouth and nose to silence her. Stopped her from breathing…when they left, Lillian had already died in Y/n’s arms.’

‘Why did you never tell me?’ Polly asked.

‘Because if I told you, I would have to tell her the truth and I don’t think she’ll be able to handle it again. I cannot put her in that state again. Especially when part of it is my fault too,’ his voice grew quiet, shame washing over him like a wave trying to drown him. ‘I should never have made a move on Kimber. Never have left her alone in that house. I should’ve never done it.’

Polly opened her mouth wanting to respond but the sudden clicking of the door brought her to her feet, her arm brushing against Thomas as your familiar face appeared behind the door.

Closing the door behind you, the family portrait of you, Thomas and Lillian fell over.

‘Shh don’t cry,’ you rocked Lillian, her cries filling your ears. ‘Mummy would never do anything to hurt you. You’re safe with me, I’ll always protect you.’

Polly looked at Thomas, faced with an expression she had never seen on him, patting his shoulder to reassure him. ‘Switch it with a real baby, Tommy.’ She whispered in his ear, helping you with the stroller as you held Lillian on your arm.

Thomas smiled at you, taking Lillian into his arms from you, rushing upstairs, leaving him alone.

I stay where your calendar stopped.

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justabigassnerd · 2 years ago

Text

Just Need Space

Pairing - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x daughter!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Word count - 3,501

Warnings - angst, swearing, running away from home, mentions of being hurt

Summary - you run into someone you never expected to see again and their presence terrifies you into not returning home, which in turn terrifies your father

A/N - hey y'all! here's the newest part of the Hangman junior universe! this was a request sent in by @weloveds who gave me a few wonderful ideas for this universe so I hope I do the ideas justice! anyways I won't ramble, as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

Sometimes people would say a day can go from good to bad in moments and you had considered yourself lucky that it had never happened to you. You knew that if your dad was away on deployment, you ran the risk of some Navy officer turning up on your doorstep informing you that your dad was killed in action and your life would change instantly. You just liked to hold on to hope that you’d never have a day go from good to bad in a matter of minutes. But of course, it happened.

It was a typical sunny day in Miramar and you’d decided you wanted to go for a walk along the beach. Your dad and Bradley were out for lunch with some of the other Daggers and while you were invited, you opted out of the lunch to have some time to yourself. You smiled to yourself as you wandered along the beachfront, listening to the waves hit the shore and the seagulls screech overhead as they fought to get to someone’s picnic. You cherished moments like this, walking along the beach while the peacefulness that being by the sea could fill you with joy. As you wander back up to the streets, you almost bump into someone, causing you to apologise quickly.

“No worries, sweetheart.” You look up to lock eyes with a woman. You’d never met her before, yet she felt somehow familiar. When you moved past to continue your walk, the woman called your name, making you freeze involuntarily in your tracks before you turned to face her as she approached you.

“How did you-?”

“You think a mother wouldn’t be able to recognise her own daughter?” As she cut you off, the woman's words made your eyes widen and your breath hitch in your throat. The woman who stood before you was your mother. The woman who left both you and your dad in the middle of the night. Your mind was racing, you could’ve sworn she left while you and your dad were living in Texas. She probably knew Jake was bound to end up here at some point.

“Listen. You better back off. I don’t want you anywhere near me or my dad.” You say, managing to find your voice.

“I am your mother and I think you’ll find I have every right to find my daughter when her father took her away from me.” She says, making you roll your eyes at her excuses.

“He didn’t take me away from you. You left us! You have no right to try and waltz your way back now because you never once tried to contact my dad after you left. You clearly never wanted me in the first place but my dad did. He’s been raising me ten times better than you ever could and he never once let me feel unloved. You should just leave and never come near me or my dad again.” You say, turning on your heel to walk away.

“You know I came back for you, right?” She says, making you stop in your tracks and turn to face her.

“What did you say?” You question, choosing to stay put and not step closer to her.

“I came back for you. I wanted custody because everyone knows your precious father has a dangerous job and could die. No kid deserves to be raised by someone who could die at any moment when working. I technically got custody, but Jacob threw a hissy fit and they gave it back to him.” She says, making you narrow your eyes. You didn’t believe a word that came out of her mouth. Your dad wouldn’t hide something like that from you. You shook your head in disgust before turning away once more and walking away while ignoring her desperate calls after you.

You were shaken by this sudden encounter and your thoughts wouldn’t slow down. You couldn’t understand why she wanted to find you now. Worrying that she was following you, you constantly checked over your shoulder as you walked and chose not to go home. Instead finding a small park to hide out in, sitting underneath a large tree as you tried to regain your breath. As you recover your breath, you watch a little girl run past you, straight into the arms of her mother who scoops her up and cuddles her close. You watched on as the little girl giggled happily before she was put back down on the floor. You had often wondered how different your life would’ve been if your mother never left. You didn’t care for her at all after what she did but your heart still held onto that sense of longing. You fought back the longing thoughts as you reminded yourself that you had something much better. You had your dad, Bradley, and the Daggers and that’s all you needed. But regardless of how much you loved them. You needed to be alone right now.

As the Daggers left the small diner they had been occupying for lunch, they chatted amongst each other, laughing, and teasing as they walked. As they walked on the path opposite the beach, Jake glanced out over to the beach and on the other side of the road he saw a familiar face. Two familiar faces. Two familiar faces he never wanted to see again. He thought after the custody trial he’d never have to see Lauren and Steve again but there they were, clear as day. Bradley immediately picked up on Jake’s discomfort and moved to the inside of the path, keeping the two hidden by the rest of the Daggers while giving them some privacy.

“What’s going on?” Bradley whispers, dipping his head to talk directly into Jake’s ear.

“We need to get home. Now.” Jake says, every worst-case scenario racing through his head at the mere sight of Lauren. Not knowing Lauren had freaked Jake out so much, Bradley nodded, quickly saying goodbye to the team and leading Jake to the Bronco. As Bradley began the drive back to their house, he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that got his husband this worried.

“Is everything okay, Jake?” Bradley asks, quickly glancing at Jake out of the corner of his eye before focusing back on the road.

“Just fine.” Jake replied but he was barely paying attention. His knee was bouncing up and down rapidly and his eyes were darting around everywhere, like Lauren was going to appear out of nowhere and drive their car off the road.

“Jake, something’s up. You can tell me.” Bradley says gently, glancing over at Jake as he stops in front of a red light, waiting for it to go green.

“It’s nothing. It’ll be okay.” Jake says firmly, wanting to do anything but talk about what was racing through his mind as his hand went to fiddle with his wedding ring.

“Is it y/n?” Bradley then asks, worry starting to grab at him as he thinks about something happening to you. Noticing Jake’s leg stop bouncing only confirmed that Bradley’s question had hit the nail on the head. Bradley decided that now would be a good time to stop pressing Jake until they got home. He wanted to focus on getting the two of them home safely so they could check up on you. The second Bradley pulls the Bronco into the driveway before he’s even turned the engine off, Jake leaps out of the car and is already at the front door, unlocking it and throwing the door open as Bradley chases after him.

Jake calls your name as he walks through the house, checking every room downstairs before heading upstairs to your room. He knocked on the door and called through for you but when he was met with nothing but silence he opened the door. His heart hammered in his chest when he was met with an empty room. He dug his phone out of his pocket and called you, his breath speeding up when you didn’t pick up. You never missed his calls unless you’d told him previously that you’d be unavailable and he’d simply forgotten. He scrolled through your messages to him to see if he missed something but when he was presented with no answer he came back downstairs to face a worried Bradley.

“Okay, Jake you need to be honest with me right now. What is going on? Where’s y/n?” Bradley asks, grabbing Jake by the shoulders and locking eyes with him. His eyes swimming with concern as he tries to study Jake’s expression before he harshly pulls away from Bradley’s grip.

“I don’t fucking know where y/n is! All I know is I saw Lauren by the beach and I can’t help but think she’s hurt my kid. I don’t know where she is or if she’s okay. I just know she’s gone.” Jake rants angrily, pacing back and forth as he rakes his hand through his hair. Bradley barely flinched at Jake’s outburst, knowing it came from worry for his daughter. He knew the last time Jake saw his ex it ended on worse terms than their initial break up did and it was a huge part of the reason Jake was as protective as he was over you. He also hated the idea of Lauren going anywhere near you but before he could focus on finding you, he had to focus on Jake. Bradley crossed to Jake carefully and eased him to sit down on the sofa, and keeping an arm wrapped firmly around Jake to keep him grounded.

“We can text the Daggers. Tell them what’s going on and how they can help. Do you know any places y/n might go when she wants to get away from everything? Even a general area might help. We could do a sweep of the areas before we consider calling the police.” Bradley suggests once Jake has calmed down enough to form coherent thoughts. Jake wordlessly nods at Bradley’s suggestion and immediately starts racking his brain for where you could be while Bradley sends a message to the Dagger’s group chat to get them to come to their house. It barely took ten minutes for all the Daggers to turn up at Jake and Bradley’s house, all of them concerned about you and asking what they could do to help.

“I’ve thought of a few places’ y/n could’ve gone to. But I think we should try covering as much ground as possible because I don't know where she could be.” Jake says, his voice rough and tear-filled as he speaks to his friends. The squad nods diligently, Jake tells them the locations he managed to think of, and everyone decides where they will look.

“And if you’re going to ask around. Please don’t ask my ex. If she catches wind of this she’ll have even more fuel to say I’m a bad father and I can’t go through another custody battle.” Jake says before giving the team a full description of Lauren and even Steve to ensure the team didn’t talk to either of them when looking for you. With locations set, the team head out of the house, splitting up to search for you while Jake tries calling your phone one more time.

You sigh as you pull your phone out of your pocket as it rung once more, you saw ‘dad’ across the top of the screen accompanied by the picture the two of you had taken at the Cowboys game he took you to when you were thirteen. You put your phone on silent and shove it back into your pocket. You’d already seen an influx of calls and texts from your dad, Bradley, and every member of Dagger Squad. You knew they wanted to know where you were. But you still didn’t feel ready to go home. You were terrified of running into your mother again. Scared she’d track you down to your house and hurt your dad or Bradley just to get to you. You started to contemplate leaving San Diego entirely just to get her off your back. If you found a way to leave, she’d realise that you weren’t in town any more and then she’d leave as well. Then and only then would you be able to return. You pulled your phone out of your pocket to see if you could find any buses out of town but as you opened Google, a person crept into your line of sight, making you look up to see Bob, letting out a small sigh of relief when you realised it was him and not your mother.

“Hey, Bob.” You mumble awkwardly, locking your phone and tucking it away.

“Hey, y/n. We’ve been looking all over for you.” Bob says, reaching into his phone pocket to text Jake and let him know you’ve been found.

“Wait, please don’t tell dad yet. I can’t face him yet.” You say quickly, making Bob tilt his head innocently before he crosses to you, sitting down beside you and watching you carefully.

“Jake is worried sick about you, I’ll have to tell him soon.” Bob says, wondering if the two of you got into an argument and you needed time alone.

“What’s wrong? You can tell me. I won’t tell your dad.” Bob says softly, his tone not stern or judgemental, just full of concern.

“I saw my mother. I don’t know how she found me, but she did. She started sprouting bullshit about trying to take custody of me when I was younger but there’s no way that’s true. I guess seeing her just scared me slightly. I’m scared she’s going to track me down and hurt dad and Bradley.” You admit, pulling your knees up to your chest as tears well in your eyes. Bob remained silent as you spoke. He knew all about the custody battle that had occurred when you were four, and Jake and warned him and the other Daggers not to tell you since you didn’t remember the event but now Bob was thinking that Jake had to tell you, especially now that Lauren had a chance of sinking her claws in and driving a wedge between you and your dad with sharing that information.

“She’s not going to get near you, y/n. You have all of us ready to protect you at a moment's notice. She’s not going to hurt you, or Jake, or Bradley.” Bob says, his words filling you with a small sense of hope. You wrap your arms around Bob for a quick hug, only pulling away when another person enters your peripheral vision.

“Bob, you found y/n? Have you reported back to Hangman yet? Rooster just told me they’re on the brink of calling the police because no one could find her.” Phoenix says, immediately pulling her phone out of her pocket and texting Jake.

“I asked him not to tell dad straight away. I needed some more time. But I’m okay now.” You say quickly as both you and Bob stand up, taking the heat off Bob because you knew it was your fault everyone was panicking in the first place. Phoenix glances up from her phone to look at you, nodding softly before returning her attention to her phone so she could message Jake saying that she and Bob had found you and they’d be taking you back home.

“Okay, I’ve messaged your dad. Let’s get you home.” Phoenix says, placing a hand on your shoulder and encouraging you to walk. The walk back to your house was silent. You knew you had worried and upset all of the Daggers with your actions but you didn’t think you’d be on the receiving end of the silent treatment. When you reached your house, Bradley and Jake were standing on the front step awaiting your arrival. Jake didn’t hesitate to race down the path to pull you into his arms, eyes frantically searching you for injuries before he tugged you into a hug, holding you close as he pressed repeated kisses to the top of your head.

“Don’t you ever do that again.” He mumbles into your hair, his voice thick with tears as he squeezes you tighter. Only then did you wrap your arms around his middle and hug him back.

“I’m so sorry dad.” You whisper, tears flowing down your cheeks as you cling tighter. You vaguely hear Bradley thanking Phoenix and Bob before he crosses over to you and Jake. You pull away from Jake and wipe at your eyes before turning to Bradley.

“I’m sorry Bradley.” You manage to say, your resolve crumbling again when Bradley pulls you into a hug.

“I’m just so relieved you’re okay y/n/n. You really scared us.” Bradley admits quietly, glancing over at Jake as he watches the interaction, tears still filling his eyes. You pull away from Bradley’s hug after a minute and nod when Bradley suggests that the three of you go inside to talk about what happened. You sit in the living room sandwiched between Jake and Bradley as they patiently wait for you to explain what caused this, although Jake had an inkling.

“I saw my mother. I don’t know how but she found us, and it scared me. That’s why I didn’t come home, I didn’t know if she’d try to hurt you or Bradley so I didn’t go home. I know I scared you but I wanted to leave to keep you two safe.” You say, glancing between both men and hoping you don’t get in masses of trouble for what you did. It had only been a week and a bit since your grounding ended you didn’t want to go through it again. Instead, Jake carefully cupped your head in his hands and turned you to look at him so he could address you directly.

“Listen to me carefully, sweetheart. Don’t ever think that running away would help a situation like this. I’m the one who’s supposed to be protecting you, not the other way around. I will figure out a way to keep her away from you. Just please don’t do that again.” Jake pleads, tears filling his eyes once more as you cuddle into him for yet another hug, a silent promise that you won’t pull a stunt like that again. When you pull away from that hug, you clear your throat quietly, thinking about what your mother had said before you walked away from her.

“She also said she fought you for custody. That’s a lie, right? There’s no way she gave a shit enough to come back.” You ask innocently, looking up at your dad as he exchanges a glance with Bradley who gives Jake a small nod, knowing it would be better for him to be honest.

“She wasn’t lying.” Jake admits, his gaze dropping in shame as your expression contorts into one of confusion.

“What do you mean?” You ask, shuffling away from him slightly as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Jake tells you the full story of what happened. About how Lauren popped up after four years and decided she was a better parent for you than he was. How she did everything under the sun to make Jake look like an unfit parent and how her boyfriend Steve had roughly grabbed you after the initial verdict. Jake also told you about how he would’ve been willing to settle for some sort of split custody until she tried to completely take you from him.

“I know I should’ve told you sooner. I just wanted to protect you. My job has always been to keep you safe and if keeping this from you meant you were safe then it was a risk I had to take.” Jake finishes, expecting you to leap up and run away again. He expected you to scream in his face that Lauren was right and that he was a horrible father. He was expecting all of his worst fears to come true, but instead, you nodded, offering him a small smile.

“Thank you for telling me. I would’ve preferred to hear it from you first but I understand why you did it.” You say finally, making Jake release a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding.

“But you don’t need to protect me all the time. It’s part of growing up.” You then say, making Jake let out a small breathy laugh.

“I’ll be protecting you until long after I’m gone.” He says fondly, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and tugging you into his side as Bradley stretches his arm along the back of the sofa, his fingertips lightly scratching Jake’s head as he hums in contentment.

“We’re all good now?” Bradley asks, glancing between you and Jake as you exchange a look with your dad before turning back to face him and speaking in tandem.

“We are good, Bradley. We’re very good.”

taglist (comment or ask to be added):

@zbeez-outlet @kaceywithak @tsnelf7 @starkleila @cassadilasworld @shanimallina877 @madstxo

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siravalondulac · 22 days ago

Text

sapphire steel | chapter one - a visitor

j. snow x fem!oc

summary: one night, a strange woman shows up in jon's chambers

tags: smut (f/m, rough sex, oral (m receiving), p in v), dubious consent, canon divergence - rhaegar won the trident

word count: 2499

author's note: in this au, rhaegar won the battle of the trident and became king. lyanna still died, and rhaegar mostly abandoned jon because he wanted a visenya, but still made him live in king's landing. cersei died birthing a daughter no one knows the father of. aegon, rhaenys, and elia are alive and in the red keep.

masterlist | additional works masterlist

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The cold night air stung against his skin and the alcohol burned his throat. Every new gust of wind moved his robe this way and that, exposing his bare chest to the snowflakes falling onto his balcony.

Jon wished it would kill him. But his father always said he was the blood of the dragon - he would not die from the cold.

He wished it would kill him, too. His father, King Rhaegar Targaryen, banisher of the attempted usurper, who had caused a rebellion only to crush it later on. It had been him who had cursed Jon to this wretched life, the black dragon of his otherwise perfect court.

If only he were allowed to leave.

He took another swig of his bottle.

Such had become his routine. During the day he would get reminded of his doomed bastard blood that had almost brought the realm to ruin, and during the night he would attempt to drown the stares of the courtiers in alcohol and whores.

A knock sounded on the door.

He groaned and threw his head against the stone he was leaning against, yet stayed conscious.

Another knock.

Perhaps the time had come for him to jump off his balcony and take a burden off his father's shoulder.

A third knock, then the door opened and someone stepped inside.

“Go away!”

He was not in the mood for a lecture from his father, or pity tears from his brother, or sorrowful looks from his sister.

Whoever had entered his room made no sound, did not try to talk to him. Perhaps a new tactic by his father? He looked around the stone pillar, ready to curse him out, yet no word left his mouth as he beheld the figure.

A woman. With blonde hair. Dressed in red.

He wanted to laugh. Another attempt by his father to keep him off the Street of Silk and not tarnish the reputation of his House further. This must be the, what? Tenth, eleventh noble woman to be sent his way to hopefully become his lover.

He had made a game out of it a while ago. How much could these women endure before breaking? His father never learned, he kept sending them.

What did it matter? He could use a good fuck, and at least now he did not have to walk through the freezing city to find a brothel.

Slowly, he rose to his feet and entered his room.

The woman stood unmoving beside the only lit candle, allowing him to get a proper look at her.

Her curly hair was more golden than mere blonde, spilling freely over her shoulders and down to her waist. The lines of her face were sharp, her cheekbones high and her jawline well-defined. She had pale, unmarred skin, with nary a blemish or inconsistency in sight. The deep red dress was a simple thing, yet off-the-shoulder and with a low neckline, clinging to her body.

He emptied the bottle, then smashed it to the ground.

If he had startled her, she did not show.

Carefully, like a wolf stalking its prey, he stepped towards her. She did not look at him, instead staring ahead into the endless distance. He raised a hand to let it hover over her arm, then traced the fabric. Still no reaction.

He started circling her. “Did my father send you?”

“Yes, my prince.”

Her voice was deeper than he thought, not quite fitting to a face like hers.

His hand glid through the soft curls falling down her back. “And do you know why?”

“Yes, my prince.”

“Say it.”

“I am to serve you in whatever way you choose.”

How cute. Dancing around the subject, not being able to say the filthy words his father had instructed her with. Likely one of those pious maidens who prayed to the gods every waking moment.

“What is your name?”

“Cerelle Hill, my prince.”

A bastard for a bastard, how fitting. Certainly, he carried the Targaryen name, yet not even the king's word could wash out this kind of shame.

He squinted as a wave of pain hit his head. The alcohol clearly did not work as intended anymore.

“And whose are you, Cerelle?” He drawled her name. “Perhaps the great Tywin Lannister’s?”

She did not even flinch when his hand grabbed her ass.

“His granddaughter.”

Faintly, he remembered tales of Cersei Lannister, and how she had died birthing a child no one had been able to catch sight of. Yet the haze on his mind made recalling such information difficult.

He stepped in front of her again, her gaze still directed on something far beyond him.

“Look at me.”

Her eyes snapped towards him. Their blue was bright yet cold as ice, almost seeming to glow in the dim light of his chamber. No fear laid in them. No emotion at all, if he thought about it.

“Usually my women show more enthusiasm.”

“If my prince requires me to act differently he need only say so.”

Did she mean to challenge him? Perhaps as the granddaughter of the ruthless Tywin Lannister she had caught a lesson or two. Bastard or not.

He continued his slow path around her unmoving figure, and her eyes followed him until he stood behind her.

Carelessly pushing her hair to the side he pulled at the laces of her dress, and after four, five tugs let the fabric fall freely to the ground.

She wore neither shift nor underclothes. Distantly, he wondered if that had been an instruction or her own intuition. She was thin, little flesh clinging to her bones, yet the curves of her ass and hips were enough to provide a proper hold should he grab them later on.

He let his fingers glide across her bare skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake as he stepped to her front again.

Her breasts were small yet firm, the nipples rosy and perky due to the cold wafting through the open balcony door. He let his thumb glide over one of them and then pulled, yet found no reaction in her face again.

“Are you a maiden?”

“Yes, my prince.”

Perhaps he should think of something special for her, a grander way to deflower her than what he had planned, yet found no solution through the fog settling on his mind.

The normal procedure, then.

“On your knees.”

She followed his command without question while he started unlacing his pants. Whatever this conversation had been had not aroused him in the slightest - despite the beautiful body before him - so it took a few hard tugs of his fist to make his cock stand at attention.

Cerelle watched his movements. Nothing more, just watched.

He held the head to her lips.

“Suck.”

She opened her mouth slowly, tongue peeking out, and took only the very tip inside her. Then she let it pop out.

Jon should have been annoyed at her languid pace, yet could not help his curiosity as he watched the careful movements, how she explored his dick as if it were a sharp weapon, ready to cut her at a moment's notice. She let her tongue trace his underside, applying ever so much pressure on its veins, garnering low hisses and whines from him. Then she closed her lips around his length again and he audibly groaned at the warmth. She moved back and forth slowly, every time bringing more of his cock into her mouth, the spit glistening in the light of the candle.

He was fully hard now, all the blood of his body moving towards his dick and making his legs quiver. His length throbbed, red and swollen, and he knew this had to end.

He had a reputation to defend, after all.

Her hair was soft under his fingers as he grabbed it, pulling shortly to try to make her gasp, and then slammed himself into her mouth. She gagged, her first real reaction that night.

Fucking finally.

He set a brutal pace, tightening his hold on her hair to keep her steady as he snapped his hips forward again and again, burying his dick further every time it entered her wet, hot mouth.

She had submitted to him almost instantly, opening herself up as far as possible, and then taking whatever he gave her. Tears flowed out of her eyes, mixing with the spit spilling from her mouth, but her body had no other reaction to him.

He was not remotely as quiet, moaning, cursing, grunting with every thrust, gasping whenever even the smallest part of his cock entered her tight throat. It had been too long since he had gotten his dick wet (three days) and his inexperience showed.

Too soon did he near his release, the ache in his cock almost unbearable, and he wanted nothing more than to slam himself deep, deep into Cerelle's throat and force her to swallow all of him, or even to paint her beautiful face with his spent.

Yet she was a maiden, and as such he needed to save himself for her cunt.

He quickly ripped her head back, her little gasp like music to his ears as he gripped the base of his dick tightly to prevent his release. The cold still seeping in through the open balcony door burned his cock, yet if he was uncomfortable she had to be as well.

Panting audibly, his bare chest raising and falling rapidly, he tilted Cerelle's head back.

Her open lips were red and swollen, her cheeks pink and wet with her spit and tears, yet her eyes still stared up at him. That terrifying blue, dangerous as a glacier, signaling his doom if he wasn't careful.

“On the bed.”

How she still displayed such poise after kneeling on the floor and having her poor little throat abused he did not understand, yet her walk to his bed looked close to normal. He almost fell over simply standing and watching her.

Let's see how you'll behave when I'm done with you.

He quickly discarded his robe and pants, and stumbled after her.

“On all fours.”

Her form was impeccable - straight back, head lowered, hands and knees planted firmly on the mattress. He kneeled behind her and let his hands trace the shape of her buttocks, before bringing his hand down hard on her pale skin. He slapped her again and again, until the marks had turned from pink to bright red.

The impact - echoing loudly in the otherwise quiet room - moved her body forward, yet had no more effect on her.

He lowered his hand and started rubbing quick circles on her pearl, attempting to make her at least a little wet before entering her to make it more comfortable for him.

Grabbing her hips so tightly he knew it would leave marks, he lined up his cock with her hole, and slammed his entire length inside in one thrust.

Perhaps she had cried out. He didn't know, for the feel of a warm cunt finally around his length again, especially after having to endure the freezing cold in his room, punched such a loud moan from his throat he was sure the entire castle heard.

He stayed like that, up to the hilt within her walls, dick throbbing painfully, until he was certain he had soaked up the moment completely. Then he slowly pulled out until only the tip remained inside her.

A few drops of blood were smeared on his dick, confirming her assertion that she was a maiden. Had been. He had broken her in officially now.

His grip tightened even more, fingers burying into her skin, wishing to leave permanent marks.

Without hesitating a moment more, he started violently and brutally thrusting into her, never slowing down, never stopping, never giving either of them a second's reprieve.

At some point, a gust of wind extinguished the candle, cloaking the room in darkness. He didn't care. The squelch of his cock hammering into her cunt and the feel of her tight, wet walls squeezing down on him was all he could ever need.

She held him so exquisitely, pulsating around his throbbing dick, grabbing his length so tightly he had half a mind to stop and stay still inside of her the entire night.

Cerelle never collapsed to the bed as her predecessors had always done at this point in the night. She remained hard and steadfast as ice. No sounds spilled from her mouth either, none of the whines, moans, grunts, and curses spat from his own lips.

Too soon did he near his release again. He didn't know whether to fault the alcohol, the previous stunt with Cerelle's throat, his prolonged abstinence from sex, or the cold. Or perhaps the feel of a maiden cunt around his cock.

He sped up his thrusts one final time, his hips slapping against her ass, his dick reaching deeper inside her than before.

Close, he was so close.

Jon leaned forward, planting his hands on the mattress beside hers, and bit down hard on her neck as he came.

His spent coated her inner walls as the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth, his teeth buried deep in her skin and ensuring he left a visible mark on her. No one would see his cum dripping down her legs, nor that she was no longer a maiden, but this she could not hide.

He stayed like that, bodies pressed tightly together, skin against skin, her walls tight around his cock. A small part of him wanted to continue right away, fuck her through the night and into the day until she wouldn't be able to walk for a week.

Slowly, savouring every inch of her beautiful cunt, he started pulling out. The cold grabbed ahold of him almost immediately, and he only barely avoided burying himself inside her heat again. He could tie her to him and ensure his cock would never be cold or dry again.

His dick freed himself from her hole with a plop, and he fell down on the bed beside her.

Now he wished the candle was still burning, longing to see her face - had she cried, did she look at him with hatred or awe, how red were her cheeks? Or did she wear her neutral expression again, one that not even such violent sex could punch off her?

The mattress moved, then he heard her slowly walk across the stone floor. Some shuffling.

He pulled a blanket over his body, curling up on his side.

“Tomorrow. Same time.”

He would have snow in his room when he awoke, yet he didn't care.

“Yes, my prince.”

Light fell through the small gap created by the open door, yet she was gone before he caught a proper look at her.

He pulled up another blanket from the end of the bed, and fell unconscious almost immediately after, the alcohol lulling him into a restless sleep.

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author's note: i don't know when i'll be able to update this fic as i'm currently a bit busy with uni.

in the meantime you could read the fic this au is based on -> meet me in the dark, kiss me in the moonlight

#jon snow #jon snow x oc #jon snow smut #asoiaf #game of thrones #asoiaf smut #asoiaf fanfic #game of thrones smut #game of thrones fanfic #fic: stars above songs below #fic: sapphire steel #oc: cerelle baratheon

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