#i know they fuckin hang dude

[yappacadaver]

all consuming desire to bury my face in his nuts monday

[voidshrub]

"Follow me!"

[todayisafridaynight]

do u think mines feelings are reciprocated? idk from how they handled mine and daigos relationship in y3 it felt as if they were hinting that they had some under the radar relationship going on or smtging

im not sure really. i do think daigo loved mine though, at the very least cherished him immensely.

[anotherpapercut]

CORRECT THANK YOU FOR SHARING

[cryptvokeeper]

my brain must be wired to spin a roulette wheel of what One Piece character to rotate around in there because today it was fucking X Drake of all people. like I am just putting the fact that he was also on minion island in a jar and shaking it.

Like. Hes gotta know right. Hes GOT to have seen a picture on Sengoku’s desk or some shit and been like “hold on is that the dude that robbed my dad?” He’s GOTTA have heard reports of a rising pirate captain with the op-op fruit and been like “HOLD ON IS THAT THE FRUIT THE FLEET ADMIRALS DEAD SON STOLE FROM MY DAD???”

Like!!! Surely he must!!!

[samuraisharkie]

Going on record to say I can’t stand scoutandcompany *bracing for impact*

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!

[midnighticee]

ooohhh its been a While since ive actively felt myself distancing myself from someone

[queerlien]

.

[spite-and-waffles]

(alt included)

Link to Video. (Please help Panda make money.)

Video description and transcript under the cut.

Description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. Re-enactment of final scene of Under the Hood. All roles played by Panda (a tall, well-built young white man with a mohawk, wearing a grey hoodie). Setting is a dark basement lit only by a hanging light bulb.

Transcript.

Jason: (holding gun on Bruce) "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."

Batman: (glares silently)

Jason: "But why? Why on God's Earth—" (hits Joker across the face)

Joker (tied to a chair): *cackles*

Jason: "—is HE still alive??"

Joker: "AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"

Batman:

Batman: "I'm sorry, d'you want me to be serious here or—?"

Jason: (in disbelief) "YES, Bruce! I want you to be serious right now! If he had done what he did to me to you, I would've done nothing but search the earth for this pile of death-worshipping garbage!"

Joker: "I love you too, Sugar Plum."

Batman: (holds hands up) "Okay, yeah, I get that, totally, I get that. Um. Have you tried?"

Jason: "Excuse you?"

Batman: "Have you tried to kill him yet?"

Jason: (to Joker) "Is he being serious?"

Joker: (also confused) "I'm gonna be honest with you, Junior. I don't know."

Jason: "Got it. Great." (turns back to Batman) "What the fuck does THAT mean?"

Batman: "Okay, so no, you haven't. Cool. Do it."

Jason:

Jason: (lowers gun) "What."

Batman: "Do it, cap his ass. Shoot him."

Joker: (finally rattled) "I'm gonna go with Junior here, and say...what??"

Jason: "You want me to shoot him?"

Batman: "I want someone to shoot him! Give me the gun, I'll do it!"

Jason: (mutters, brain blue screening) "What is going on right now? This should a lot harder than it is."

Batman: "C'mon, son! You decapitated like eleven people three days ago! Fuckin' do it!"

Joker: (turns to Jason quizzically) "This has gotta be some sort of test, ri—"

(BANG! Jason fires. Joker lands on the floor lifeless, eyes still open.)

Jason: "There, you happy? Jesus. Was that so hard? All of this time and it was THAT easy!"

Jason: "What the fuck is that supposed to—" (looks down at floor where the Joker was lying)

Batman: "I don't know what you're talking about 'easy'. There's nothing there." (nods at floor)

Floor: (is devoid of Joker)

Jason: (stares)

Floor: (continues to be sans anything but carpet)

Jason: "What the fuck?"

Batman: "Yeah."

Jason: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Batman: "Take as long as you need with this."

Jason: (looking around frantically) "I just shot him! He hit the floor! What the f—" (turns back to the floor)

Floor: (is just vibin')

Jason: "Where the fuck did he go??"

Batman: "See that shit? That shit right there happens every fucking time!"

Jason: "There's not even a blood stain! It's just gone!"

Batman: "Yeah, like two days after you died, I chased him into a helicopter where he got shot like six times. The helicopter exploded and crashed into the ocean. And his body was gone before Superman could find it."

Jason: "Oh my God. I don't understand how this is even fucking possible!"

Batman: "He's like a cryptid! I don't fucking get it!"

Joker: (disembodied laughter) "AHAHAHAHA HAHAHA!"

Jason: (freaked out, turning in circles trying to find him) "Oh my God!"

Batman: "THAT OMINOUS SHIT HAPPENS TOO! I DON'T KNOW, DUDE!"

Jason: "Dude. Fuck whatever's going on here, that's some fucking bullshit."

Batman: "Thank you! Finally someone gets it!"

[mosspapi]

Hhhhhhh I have left out Two (2) different DIY bug traps to hopefully deal with the (hopefully) last two bastards. If neither of them work I'm cancelling my residence and throwing myself into the river

[my-girl-boyfriend]

i think some of you listen to will wood songs and just make up your own meaning in your head

[glitchdollmemoria]

HaShem said to me, He said little freak of mine you are gonna have the most unbearable addictive tendencies and you will have multiple disabilities that demand your abstinence from even the least harmful substances, and you will sit in your apartment distressed out of your mind sipping ramune and wishing for cigarettes and booze

[albedobeheading]

guys I am. So horribly emotionally unwell

[beah388love]

Fainting spell

Full Masterlist Lando Norris Masterlist

Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!reader

Summary: you have pots syndrome and faint on live

Warnings: Reader faints, fainting, swearing, bad language, blood?, reader gets injured!!! (Please tell me if I missed any?!!!)

“Where’s y/n?” Lando read out from the chat with a smile “she’s currently sat over there-“ lando said as he looked over to you with a smile, “she’s sat in the corner of the room on her phone- baby C’mere” lando said as he held his hand out gesturing for you to come sit on his lap.

You smiled as you walked over to them both “hi everyone…” you smiled as you sat on landos lap, you felt a wave of dizziness hit you but you shook it off.

You stayed there for awhile until lando got thirsty “hang on max, I’m gonna go grab my water bottle” lando said as you got up from his lap so he could go grab it.

You felt the same dizziness when you got up too fast, “y/n? You okay?” Max asked when he saw you looked pale and you nodded “I’m fine..I’m just gonna grab my phone” you said and max nodded as he read the chat.

As you took another two steps you felt the dizziness but ten times worse, your vision went black and you felt yourself collapse to the ground, hitting your head as you did.

“Is y/n okay?” Max read out confused “yes guys she’s fine she just went to grab her phone..” max said with furrowed brows, max has his headphones on so he didn’t hear or see you faint behind him.

User1: OMFG IS SHE OKAY?!

User2: DID SHE FAINT?!

User3: MAX TAKE YOUR FUCKING HEADPHONES OFF

Used4: BEHIND U DUDE- SHES LITERALLY PASSED OUTTT

User5: OMG SHE BETTER BE OKAY!

User6: UHM- WHY DO I SEE BLOOD ON THE FLOORRR?!

Max looked behind him, thinking the chat was messing with him but when he looked behind him and saw you on the floor he quickly threw his headphones off and sprinted out of his chair.

“Y/n?! Fuck- y/n? Are you okay?” He asked but you was completely unconscious, and that’s when he saw the cut on your head and the blood.

“Fuck- LANDO! LANDO!” Max yelled out as he held your head gently, “LANDO!” Max yelled again.

“what did you rage quit again?” Lando laughed as he walked in but his smirk left when he saw max holding you passed out and a massive gush on your head “what happened?!” Lando asked worried

“I- I don’t know I had my headphones on-“ max said as lando carried you onto max’s bed.

“It’s alright- she just fainted…she’s got pots remember?” Lando reminded him and max sighed in relief with a hand on his chest “you could’ve fucking reminded me!”

“I just did!” Lando argued as he checked your cut.

“Is her head okay? I think she hit it on my chair” max said and lando nodded “yeah…she might need a plaster but she’s fine” lando said as he sat next to you waiting for you to wake up.

“Fuckin hell I just had a panic attack” max said as he took a couple deep breaths. “Chat are going crazy” max said as he sat back down on his chair.

“Y/n’s fine you guys- she’s alright” max said “lando is sitting on my bed with her” max explained.

You stirred and felt a pain in your head, “ah- what happened? I feel dizzy” you said as you sat up but lando pushed you down gently “don’t get up too fast baby.”

“What happened?” You asked confused “you fainted and you cut your head but i put a plaster on it..it’s not that bad” lando said checking your cut again and you smiled “thank you..”

“Did you not feel dizzy before?” Lando asked and you nodded “why didn’t you tell me?” Lando huffed as he held your hand, “I didn’t think I’d actually faint- I’m sorry” you said as you wrapped yourself around him burying your face into his neck.

“It’s fine..wanna sit with me? The chat are all very worried about you” lando laughed making you grin “yes please” you smiled as lando carried you with him into his chair, “you wanna play?” He asked as he handed you his controller “thank you baby”

“Don’t let her play! She’s gonna beat me now…” max huffed

Max and lando are both very competitive and stubborn but they both knew for a fact you was better then them and would beat them in games you haven’t even played before.

“You have to be me though” lando grinned as he edited your character for you, “I’m not even allowed to be me in the game?” You asked with a shake of your head as lando giggled.

-

“See?! How does she do the quick turns so fast?! This is bullshit.” Max raged as he threw his head back onto his chair making you bite back your grin.

“Chat said your acting like a baby” lando laughed and max glared at him, “you go against her then” max huffed as he handed him his controller

“Baby Drink..” Lando reminded you as he passed you his water bottle, you took a couple sips as you read the chat.

User1: omg lando is the best bf ever-

User2: couple goals.

User3: is she okay y’all? Why’s she got a plaster on her head?

You smiled at the chat “I’m okay you guys, I cut my head when I fell but I’m alright…I can’t believe I fainted like ten minutes ago and I’m beating them both” you giggled as you rubbed your eye as a wave of dizziness hit you again, “lan?” You said and lando looked down from the screen towards you “mhm? You okay?” He asked as he stroked your thigh “no I feel dizzy again..” you said as you put the controller down “wanna take a break baby? Maybe you shouldn’t look at the screen…c’mon” lando said as he gestured for you to get up, he held you so you got up slowly but that wasn’t enough…you fainted again.

Your eyes rolled back as you collapsed in landos arms “shit-“ lando said as he laid you back down on top of him, “Sorry max- I think I’m gonna carry y/n to bed..You can carry on the stream though?” Lando said as he lifted you up into his arms.

“Nah it’s alright mate. I’m knackered anyway..Sorry guys! We’re gonna end it here- y/n’s okay though” max said to the camera before switching it off.

“Want me to help?” Max asked and lando shook his head “nah it’s alright…Night!” Lando said as he left with you “night” max grinned as he watched lando try to shut the door but failed repeatedly until he just kicked it and left “stupid door.”

“That is my door y’know?” Max shook his head and lando smirked “yes I do know that.”

-

Lando gently laid you onto your bed and quickly grabbed your water bottle adding cold water with ice. “Lan?….did I faint again” you asked and lando nodded as he handed you your bottle.

“Sorry..” you sighed and lando scrunched his face “do not say sorry. It’s not like you do it on purpose”

“I love you- Cuddle?” You asked with a smile and he grinned as he jumped on the bed and wrapped himself around you “duh”

“Is max okay? Is he trying to shut his door or something?” You asked confused when you heard a door shutting and closing making lando smirk.

“He’s fine…let’s just sleep” lando smiled as he rested his face into your neck.

“LANDO! You broke my door! The handle doesn’t work!” Max yelled and you looked down to lando who was biting back his laugh.

“I was only unconscious for a couple minutes!” You shook your head and he couldn’t hold back his laugh.

“ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?!” Max yelled and you both covered your mouths as you nearly cried from laughter.

I hope you enjoyed it lol

[thefabulous-mostgroovy]

my period must be coming up soon cuz there is no Way im crying over not being able to mute the discord music bot lmaooooo