#I’m gonna hang out with my boyfriend tomorrow and I just. cannot fucking wait

[albedobeheading]

guys I am. So horribly emotionally unwell

[fa1ryofshampoo]

hii! i was wondering if you could do a smut request for heeseung please? where him and the reader are basically always getting cockblocked by the other members leaving both of y’all fed up(especially heeseung). until one day all the boys leave, so heeseung takes out his pent up anger? (i don’t know how describe it lol) on the reader. you can make it as detailed as you want!

thank you and have a great day! <3

hello! here it is! i enjoyed writing this aaA, i hope i did okay here huhu thank you for the request and stay safe! 💟

Thirsty

pairing: lee heeseung x reader

–––––

Today, I have the whole afternoon to myself. Thanks to the strength and power I had I was able to finish the tasks up until noon time. I lie down my bed and scrolled through my phone when my boyfriend's name appeared on my screen, a call incoming.

"Heedeungie." He chuckled at my cute voice.

"Y/N, how are you? Are you busy?"

"I'm good, I'm not busy. I have finished my tasks so I have the rest of the day to spare." I responded.

"Would you like to come over here? I cooked something for the two of us since the boys are all out." I sensed some shyness in his voice on the last sentence. A smile formed on my lips because of my boyfriend's thoughtfulness.

"Okay! I'll text you once I'm near there." We both said our goodbyes and I went to change clothes. Since I'm on the mood to wear something fancier than just jeans and a shirt, I went for a casual dress and a denim jacket matched with my boots. I brushed my hair and gave my pout a touch of my favorite lip tint before I stepped out of my apartment. Dang, it's cold.

While sitting on the bus, I tought of the times me and Heeseung spent on their dorm. Most of the time, the two of us will watch movies or play board games that will eventually end up to us making out in their room. Heeseung, as my first boyfriend, is clingy. He will not hesitate to make the first move and make me feel things I haven't felt before and I love that. One day, when we thought about finally having sex after and when we first tried to do it, Jungwon suddenly knocked on the room saying that the foods they ordered were there already. I remember clearly how hard he was at that time, how I sat on his erection restricted by his boxers and how my school skirt was bunched up to my waist, ready for what was about to happen. But although Heeseung is clingy, he gets pretty flustered easily. That's why when we got interrupted, I know we won't be able to continue anymore. When I came there another time, Heeseung forgot to lock the door so Sunghoon suddenly barged in, thinking the two of us are just chillin' because he heard songs playing inside. But then again, we were almost discarding our clothes. And again, we're interrupted.

Just everytime, every single time we would want to have sex, something has to come up and take away the moment from the both of us. I noticed how Heeseung was flustered and shy the first time it happened and how he was disappointed the last time we got interrupted. I'm wondering if the same thing will happen today even if the boys are out.

I finally saw the familiar sight of their dorm so I went down the bus and texted Heeseung that I'm about to cross the road. Before I could even cross the road, Heeseung was already outside waiting for me. When I reached him he immediately embraced me. He smells so freakin' good, goodness gracious. He wore just plain white shirt and a black baggy sweatpants. His hair now black with an almost mullet making him even more attractive. Can he get even more attractive?

"Someone missed me so much, the stares are melting me." I lightly slapped his arm making him laugh.

When I entered the dorm, Heeseung closed the door and trapped me between his arms, devouring my mouth. I was a bit surprised but immediately responded to the kiss. His hands ran down my hands and I can feel him taking his time. We're not rushing things and we're letting our bodies move accordingly. To my dismay, my stomach grumbled in the middle of our make out sesh. Heeseung opened his eyes, chuckling after he realized my stomach complained. I looked at him apologetically and before I could say anything, Heeseung opened his mouth to speak. "It's okay, Y/N. I know I prepared food and before they get cold and you collapse from hunger let's eat now." No wonder I had a big time crush on him up until now.

After eating the foods he prepared, he took my hand and played some upbeat songs to dance jam with. We continued to dance and converse until we finally felt like sitting already. We sat on the couch and decided to drink some soju.

"Time flies so fast, it's already four in the afternoon. When will the boys come home?" I asked him while he poured me a drink.

"Jungwon, Sunoo and Ni-Ki will be home by nine I guess. They said they'll be having dinner outside. Sunghoon, Jake and Jay won't be home until tomorrow morning due to their personal errands." My mouth formed an 'o'. It's very rare that the boys go out and have time of their own.

"Thank you for spending your spare time with me. I really appreciate it." I raised my glass and took a shot of it. "Oh, shoot. That still hits!" My face grimaced with the taste of alcohol. Heeseung laughed at my expression. He know how low my alcohol tolerance is so he never lets me finish a bottle to myself. After a few more shots, I know that tipsy is enough so I stopped. Heeseung drank the remaining drink. Despite the cold weather, sweat formed on his temples. I took a good look at the sight in front of me. My boyfriend, gulping from the bottle, adam's apple shifting with every gulp, his shirt hanging low down to his chest, eyebrows furrowing from the aftertaste of the alcohol. Heavenly.

"You might drool, sweetheart." To my surprise, Heeseung was already mere centimeters away from my face. He played with the lace of the hem of my dress. "You dolled up for me today with this dress despite the fact we're staying at home and it's freezing cold outside." I can only look at him, too tempted of his actions. "I see you wore the lip tint I gave you. I was right when I thought it would suit you." His gaze went down to my lips. He held my hand and I squeezed it.

No words needed, he gave me wet kisses on my neck. "Do you know how much I waited to finally have time with you alone?" He managed to mumble while still kissing my jaw and everywhere else he could. I can feel he's getting impatient but he still made sure to savor every moment. I can only hum as a response. I turned his head to mine and kissed him. The taste and the flavor of the drink lingered everytime our tongues fought. "Your lips taste so good, Heeseung." He bit my bottom lip and held my hair to deepen the kiss. Fervor grew each and every minute, my denim jacket, his shirt and sweatpants now discarded while he held my thighs and I straddled him. He held onto my ass before standing up and giving it a sharp slap that made me yelp. I can feel the erection growing from his sweatpants. I rolled my hips to make my pooling core meet his member that made him groan. I noticed how his half-lidded eyes are now filled with so much lust.

"Heeseung, please just fuck me now." I continued to roll my hips in his. Growing impatient, he pinned me to the wall and bunched my dress up to my waist. He took his cock out and pushed my panties aside. He held my waist as I slowly sat down on his thick cock. When I was finally halfway, he thrusted up and picked up his pace immediately. His movements show how much he's thirsty to do this all along. Heeseung played and flicked my nipples with his tongue while kneading the other one. I didn't know how to react, all I know was the dorm was filled with our moaning noises. "You know how much I wanted to pound into you like this, hm? I know you wanted me to fuck you too huh don't you?" His brows furrowed while his eyes remained filled with lust. "Want me to fuck you real hard? Use your words baby."

"Yes, Heeseung please!" Tears started forming in my eyes from pleasure. "Yeah, I like that. Always say please, baby." I rolled my hips to meet his movements and moaned directly into his ear. I kissed the spot behind his ear making him moan. Heeseung opened their room and lay me down his bed without breaking our kiss and position. Once I was comfortably laying down, he took one of my legs up and placed it on his shoulders. I ran my hands on his well-built chest and his abs. I took time to admire my heavenly-looking boyfriend hungrily fucking me. "Fuck, Heeseung. You look so hot." I cannot contain it any longer. "You too, Y/N, you look hotter than hell." He pulled my dress up and throwing it somewhere in the room, leaving me with my underwear. He took away my bra and without a warning, he tore my panties not wanting to pull out from me. My mouth opened agape in surprise from him tearing my panty and his thrusts growing even faster, hitting a spot that made me emit a high-pitched moan. "Just like that, baby. Doing so good for me." He held onto my waist in the tightest way possible to hold me in place.

"So fucking tight." His growl made me unconsciously clench around him. He kneaded my breasts while the room was filled with the noise of our skin slapping, his growls and my moans. "Fuck, Y/N, I'm gonna cum." He continued to moan my name each time. I didn't know his thrusts could still grow faster and deeper, a knot forming in my stomach making me hold onto his bicep while moaning his name. He drew circles on my aching clit, enough to overstimulate me. It's so intense my legs were shaking and my toes curling. "Me too, Heeseung. I-I'm cumming." He kissed me and rode my high until his own high came, my name and curses leaving his mouth. He pulled out and came on my stomach.

After catching our breaths from the intensity, Heeseung got up to grab tissues and clean the mess. "Finally, no one interrupted us." I chuckled. "Yeah, finally. I was really looking forward to finally having you to myself, Y/N." He covered my body with blanket before lying down beside me. "It's cold, jagi. Please hug me~" This was his complete opposite minutes ago. I snuggled to his chest, bodies sweaty but none of us cared. He wrapped his arms around my body and hummed me a lull while caressing my hair. What an adorable yet thirsty baby, I thought.

[abigail-nicole]

tgcf live read, part 5

in which the author moves her live-tweet of Heaven Official's Blessing, Tian Guan Ci Fu, all-around perfect novel and joy to everyone who reads it, from twitter (beta, qi rong, ruined by cryptobros and billionaires) to tumblr (alpha, hua cheng, shitposting for 10+ years and chaotic neutral). please buy officially licensed Heaven Official's Blessing translations from Seven Seas, enjoy the beautiful official donghua while we can get any smidge of gay representation out of mainland China, and enjoy!

initially live-tweeted 3/29/2020:

oh my god there’s a pregnancy episode. You know I’ve never counseled any of my patients on the grudge that could be left by an aborted fetus

Xie Lian faking pregnancy Im here for this

Oh!!!!! This is great!!!!!

Xie Lian has a ghost baby who’s waiting for him to transition & get pregnant CLEARLY THE ONLY EXPLANATION

I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING

I cannot wait to see the art for this??? It’s gonna be Exquisite

UNEXPECTED!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH SCREAMING SO LOUD I STARTLED THE CAT

Wasnt chapter 95 of mdzs ALSO A KISS CHAPTER

*incoherent noises* jgk fed gjbcgjkjfdhioollllojhghsadfsdff

(archivist note: my favorite fan cosplay photo art of this moment)

Oh my god xie lian REACTS SO POORLY WHAT A DUMBASS

The ghosts offering to help Hua Cheng rape someone is NOT funny but it made me laugh out loud

well now this is just

I’m gonna start counseling my pts on the spiritual strength of their fetuses. The strongest is clearly that lady who got shot in the uterus at 14 wks and made it to 28 weeks

Obstetric cultivation is my jam y’all

THEY'RE JUST HANGING OUT TOGETHER! BORROWING CLOTHES FROM EACH OTHER!! SOFT BOYFRIENDS!!!

Hua Cheng: i can cook for you

Xie Lian: no, let’s go out to eat

Hua Cheng: ......... you asked for this

oh to be Hua Cheng, smiling, watching your boyfriend eat

Xie “I JUST TELL THEM I’M IMPOTENT TO GET WOMEN TO LEAVE ME ALONE IM REALLY JUST GAY” Lian

Hua Cheng here like (smirking emoji x3)

Oh my god boyfriend calligraphy lessons SOFT...!!! SOFT!!!

I vehemently disagree with this “this father has to be included in the ghost fetus rights” case but that’s my own business

everyone: why the FUCK do you have this sword oh my god

The last time we saw e’ming it was shaking in sadness that it had hurt Xie Lian and I’ve cried in my heart every second from then until now

MY TWO FAVORITE WEAPONS ARE FIGHTING????? NO THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!! RUOYE & EMING OTP

YES PET THE SWORD ITS A GOOD SWORD GOOD SWORD

every time they hang out im just like......yes....pure oxygen, clean water, pollution disappearing from this earth....

Yes e’ming ruoye weapon pet otp

Oh my god this Which Weapon Pet Will Help More With Cooking is Exactly what my soul needs in these trying times.... I’m so blessed.....

Xie Lian - Wei Wuxian - being terrible at cooking

this is COMEDY GOLD

Hua Cheng: *doing dishes*

Shi Qingxuan: WHAT THE FUCK

Qi Rong: IM A FIERCE GHOST TOOOOOOOOO

Xie Lian: *hiding*

This is the best dinner party

This is the best fucking dinner party scene in any book I have ever read

Honestly the book could end right here. This scene is the Blessing in the title Heaven Official's Blessing

Shi Qingxuan is gonna go back & tell everyone they ate dinner with Hua Cheng and No One is gonna believe it

Poor Shi Qingxuan Lolololol

Awwwww theyre finally exchanging phone numbers!!!! also lol @ xie lian’s little joke here

can’t wait for the scene where they start flirting via communications array & shi qingxuan is staring back and forth at them & shouting at ming yi WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE RIGHT HERE WHAT ARE THEY DOING GET A GODDAMN ROOM

ugh I’m so happy to stop on this note & look forward to reading tomorrow & not having to pick up in the middle of Tragedy Book 2 (& apoarently also Tragedy Book 4). In conclusion Hualian is the Real Official Blessing We Made Along The Way

OMG I SAID THIS SCENE WOULD HAPPEN also i cant wait to find out hua cheng’s password (narrator voice: she would be disappointed)

Shi Qingxuan: i made them strip but oh god he just admitted he likes xie lian NOW its weird

Hahaha just wait till this is a sex thing (smirk emoji)

I also get bored and play dress up in the middle of hostage recovery

to be continued in part 6!

[ryvgvji]

hi! i was windering can you write a reaction with sero, kaminari, karishima, and tokoyami where their s/o bans sex for 3 weeks? i dont know if you write nsfw at becuase i couldnt fund rules, but you dont have to if you feel uncomfortable☺️

yes sorry about that, i don’t have rules yet, i have to make them 😅 my fault. but yes i do write nsfw stuff for both kpop and anime. but anyways here’s your reaction☺️ hope you like it!! sorry if it’s not the best

(apologies for any grammar errors.)

✰ characters : Ejirou Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, Fumikage Tokoyami, Hanta Sero.

✰ banning Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari and Tokoyami for 3 whole weeks, how will these boys handle that?

Hanta Sero

Sero getting banned from sex , wonder how that happened

most likely happened because Sero would be making fun of you

he and Kaminari would be talking about relationships when suddenly the topic sex came up

Kaminari would talk about how his girlfriend would moan and cry in the bedroom begging him to not stop and go harder

“She be like , ahhh Denki , fuck me hard baby!!” laughing as he mocked her moans

Sero would die laughing , rolling on the floor

“y/n is the same way!” he says as he dries his eyes

“oh Sero , daddy! right there!” he mocked you not at all realizing that he just exposed you

next day at school Kaminari mentions the conversation that him and Sero had

“y/n i didn’t know that you called Sero daddy.”

you almost choke on your food when you hear what Kaminari said

“w-who said that?!”

Kaminari points Sero who’s eyes were basically popping out of their socket

you glared at him wanting to knock him into next week

when i say Sero almost shitted his pants

“baby i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to make fun of you!!” he whines as he trails behind you to you room. you turn around and stare at him. “Sero you mocked me and revealed that i call you daddy during sex, are you really sorry about that?” he doesn't answer instead, he looks at the floor in guilt.

“baby i’m really sorry, you have to believe me,” he said as he grabs a hold of your hand. you look up at him. you could see that he was genuinely sorry. “please! i’ll do anything just please, forgive me.” he practically begs. anything? you think to yourself. a smirk creeps upon your face as you slipped your hand out of his hold. “anything you say?” you cross your arms over your chest. he rapidly nods in response. the perfect punishment pops into your head.

“no sex for three weeks.” you say blandly. Sero’s heart stops. “n-no what?” he stutters. he’s wondering if his ears heard correct. there was no possible way that you could say that to him. that was something that you would never put him through right? wrong! “no. sex. for. three. weeks.” Sero falls to his knees. he looks up at you like a hurt puppy. “baby no, don’t do this to me. i’m sorry. what i did was wrong, completely wrong. just please, i’m begging you. don’t do this.” his eyes somewhat glossy feeling his emotions go crazy. he couldn’t even think about the amount of torture that he would be put through. there was no way that he was gonna last for that long. “you should thought about that before daddy.” you tease lowly as you caress his cheek. you then walk off and leave him there to mope.

the whole three weeks were straight hell for Sero. he was super horny. he would always apologize and tell you he’s sorry everyday, asking you to let up in his punishment. that didn’t work and he would just sulk for the entire rest of the day. all he wants to hold you in his arms again and make you scream his name. when the three weeks were finally up he didn’t waste anytime. right after school he took you straight to his dorm and fucked you so hard that you were limping the next day. “baby, you’ve had me waiting for way to long.”

Ejirou Kirishima

let’s all think about how this all started first...

this started because Kirishima would promise you that he’d take you out on a date

“babe let’s go out together tomorrow after school.”

SIKE! ain’t happening

he ended up going to hang with Bakugo instead, totally forgetting what he promised to you

he spend the while afternoon and evening out with Bakugo leaving you mad and hurt

the next day at school you completely ignore him, walking away and avoiding him anytime that he comes up to you

he even ends up getting a couple of stank eyes from Mina and Momo.

when he practically harrasses you on the way back to the dorms , you finally tell him what’s up

“you stood me up Kirishima.”

that’s when he finally realized

“oh my god, y/n, baby i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to make you upset baby. Bakugo asked me to go with him somewhere yesterday and i didnt remember.” he rambles. you really didn't have a care in the world for what he was saying, your just upset that he stood you up for that his friend, Bakugo any less.

“so Bakugo is more important than me?” you roll your eyes. “baby of course not! what kind of stupid question is that?!” you let out a ‘hm’ and searched through your tv for something to watch. Kirishima grabbed a hold of your hand and make eye contact with you. “baby, i’m really sorry. i understand if your mad at me and i will accept my punishment.” punishment? you weren’t thinking of any punishments, you just are upset with him. but since he mentioned, you guess it’s best that you come up with one.

suddenly an idea pops into your brain. “how about no sex for three weeks?” you say with a innocent smile. Kirishima’s body froze. “babe... what’d you just say?” he asked you. you chuckled slightly. “i said, no sex for three weeks.” you leaned forward and place a light kiss on his lips. he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to him, moving his head to the crook of your neck. “baby, you don’t mean that right?” he whisper against your skin, teeth light grazing the area. you almost shudder at the feeling, but you have to keep it together. “yes i do. and it starts right now.” you said and pushed him away.

Kirishima had never been in so much pain. he felt like he was gonna die. honestly for the whole three weeks, his whole demeanor was changed. he wasn’t as cheerful. he’d try everyday to get you to give up; grabbing your thigh under the table, kissing lightly on your neck, grabbing your ass even. unfortunately for him, that didn’t work. when it finally came to the last day of the punishment, he could not hold in his anticipation. he’d just skip school with you fuck you all day, literally all day. “you are really in for it love.”

Denki Kaminari

how did you come to this situation? simple

he l i e d

he said that he was with Sero, Kirishima and Bakugo

what he didn’t talk about was being with her instead of Sero. her as in Jirou

you found out through Sero’s slip up at lunch the next day

“yesterday was crazy, we should definitely do it again!” Kirishima cheered as he ate his lunch

“i still can’t believe that you guys took Jirou instead of me.” he rolled his eyes

“you didn’t go Sero?” you questioned the boy, he shook his head and narrowed his eyes toward Kaminari

“because of that punk over there!” he pointed

you look over to your boyfriend with raised eyebrows

“you said that you went with Sero babe. you lied to me?” you said calmly as you tried your best to keep your composure

the table was dead silent. so was Kami. he didn’t say anything. or make a move

you just shook your head and got up.

“unbelievable.”

“can’t believe you lied.” you said as you sat on your bed and stare at Kaminari. pure guilt shows on his face. you scoff as he doesn’t say a word. you are so mad at him, you don’t even wanna see him right now. “get out Kami. don’t talk to me.” you point to the door of your room. he opens his mouth to say something but you cut him before he cannot. “oh, and on top of that, your punishment for lying to me is no sex for three weeks, now get out.” you pushed him out your room and slam your door.

he didn’t even get to say anything. he really didn’t mean to lie you, it’s never his intention to hurt you. but for some reason which is unknown to him, he just didn’t want you to know about Jirou. it makes him feel so bad. for the entire next week you avoid him and the rest of the boys. anytime he was near you, you walk away. his heart was broken.”baby, please talk to me. i’m sorry. baby.” he called from outside your door. you sigh, getting up from your bed going over to open the door. “yes?”

no words were exchanged. he pulled you into a hugged walking towards your bed. “Kami what are you-” up you were cut of by Kaminari kissing you. you kissed back, wrapping your arms his neck to pull him closer. you missed this. his hands roamed over your body down to your legs. he lightly squeezed them before wrapping them around his hips. “i missed you so much y/n. i’m really sorry about what happened.” he said pulling away from the kiss. he moved to your neck. you let out a soft sigh before closing your eyes. wait, i’m not supposed to be doing this you thought. “wait.” Kaminari looked up at you confused. “you’re still on your punishment.” Kaminari whined and put his head back in your neck before saying, “baby~ please i’m sorry!” you only chuckled and pulled him away from your body. “two more weeks baby.”

by the time the two were over he was ready. he was not going to waste no time. you could literally feel that the whole day he was watching you. eyes following your every move like predator watching it’s prey. touching you nonstop, hands wondering over your body anytime there was an opportunity. when the last bell ran he rushed. picking you up and going all the way to his room. “baby i’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

Fumikage Tokoyami

tokoyami, tokoyami, oh tokoyami...

he just could not keep his hands to himself for some reason

he was touching you EVERYWHERE

“Tokoyami...” you warned him

you were in school you didn’t wanna get caught and get in trouble

he just smirks and continues to touch you

what was even worst is that nobody suspects anything because he was so to himself, no one would have thunk that Toko would do such thing so he didn’t stop

oh lord was lunch something

his grip on your thigh did not letting up

moving his hand further and further up. you felt like you were gonna bust

“baby no. were at school.” you brushed his hand off

“well we’re in your room now.” he teases and graze his fingers up you thigh. you slap his hand away. “ouch...that hurt.” you rolled your eyes. “baby. you’ve touching me all day. i think that you need to calm down.” you said. “but you like it, don’t you love?” he said pulling you onto his lap.

you smile at him and run your hand down his chest. just then a thought popped in your mind. with a mischievous smile you lean down and kiss him. he wrap his arms around you and leans back on the bed. you pull away and look him in his eyes. “baby how about this.” you lean closely to his ear. “no sex for three weeks baby. since you were being disobent and touching me non stop you are banned from sex.” Tokoyami’s breath hitches in his throat. “really that’s how is gonna be love?” his voice deep and low. you sit up on top and cross your arms. “that’s what i said.” you smiled. you see Tokoyami roll is eyes. “okay then. that’s fine with me, really don’t care.”

this is gonna be easy. or so Tokoyami thought. two weeks in and he can’t sleep. it’s been too long for him. he can’t go any longer. he tries everything that he can to break you. he wants you to give in. “baby, i need you.” he would whisper in your ear. you would only laugh and push him away saying “boy bye.”

thankfully, when the three weeks were over before he knew it. he never been so happy than before, this was something that we wants so bad. even dark shadow hasn’t been this excited. as soon as the weekend hits, he calls you and tell you pack backs cause your staying over his. before you could even knock on his door, he pulls you in, picks you and gently sets you down on the bed. “love let’s waste no time.”

[tlcwrites]

By A Nose

Submission for Writer Wednesday 5/12

Summary: If you're going to talk the talk, you better be able to walk the walk. Or, proof Poe Dameron is a terrible loser.

Word Count: 1528

Tags/Warnings: Poe Dameron x Reader, Modern AU. Implied smut but mostly in passing. Some bad words. Poorly edited because as usual I finished this at like 11 and my kids get up at 5 so I need to go to sleep.

Author’s Note: THREE FICS IN A WEEK WHO AM I?

Okay, so I cannot be the only one who saw the photo for this week's Writer Wednesday (thank you once more for hosting, @autumnleaves1991-blog!) and went the direction I did. If I am the only one, well, just further proof my brain is certifiable. Make sure you comment on when you figure out where this fic takes place.

There will also be an accompanying headcanon coming for this probably tomorrow, because there was SO much material I wanted to use but couldn't make fit. Thank you @paper-n-ashes for brainstorming with me and being the best hype-woman ever.

“AAAAHHHHH.”

“WE’RE GONNA DIE.”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“FINN!!” You smack him. “There are small children here!”

But he’s too busy screaming to pay attention.

On the other side of you, Kaydel looks decidedly green. She lets out a pained moan as your vehicle makes a particularly hard turn. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”

You pat her knee as you fly through a kitchy town. “Hang in there, honey. It’s almost over.”

The village elder’s well wishes still ringing in your ears, you pull up next to another idling transport. From the driver’s seat, your boyfriend winks at you.

“You’re going down, Dameron!” you holler at him.

He makes the universal ‘I’m watching you’ gesture. “Eat my dust, losers!”

Finn yells back something that has you smacking him again, shooting an apologetic glance to the second row of Poe’s transport, where Snap and Karé are sitting with their daughter Nora. Snap’s hands fly to cover Nora’s ears while Karé laughs heartily.

Next to Poe, Rey holds her thumb and forefinger up to her forehead in an ‘L’ shape. “Second place is the first to lose!”

Before any more trash talking can occur, you see a flash of red out of the corner of your eye and then both vehicles take off, bursting out of the dark into blinding sunlight.

You both fly over the rusty terrain, neck and neck as you navigate under rocky overpasses and around hairpin turns. From the second row of your car, you can hear Maz lobbing profanities at Chewie in the other ride. He’s yelling back in his native tongue (which you still only understand half of). Beside Maz, Leia and Han are both laughing like kids.

A shriek of joy erupts from you as you fly over a series of hills, the momentary weightlessness thrilling. Finn has both hands in the air, while Kaydel grips the safety handle with white knuckles.

Finally, you come out of a turn to see a sharp drop. You look to Poe, who grins back at you, his vehicle slightly ahead of yours. Damnit, you HATE losing to him. He’s the worst winner.

At the last moment, your ride leaps ahead, crossing under the checkered banner by a nose. The passengers of your car cheer and high-five in victory, while Poe’s passengers groan in good-natured defeat.

As you roll through the red-lit cavern, you laugh as you catch sight of Poe’s face. He’s a terrible winner, but he’s an even worse loser. Even if his loss comes at the hands of an algorithm.

Anthropomorphic cars wave you off as both vehicles enter the unloading zone. On the other side of the platform, Chewie is lifting Rey out of the front seat as she pretends to collapse in agonized failure, her laughter completely destroying the illusion. You accept Finn’s hand as he helps you up, both of you turning to support Kaydel as she crawls out of the car.

A ride attendant watches her warily. “Does she need assistance?” he asks Han.

Han waves him off, wrapping an arm around his wife’s shoulders as Maz and Chewie beeline for the ride photos. “She’ll be fine. No protein spills here.” At the cast member’s astonished look, the charming rogue gives his trademark grin. “Ain’t my first rodeo, kid.” As he and Leia stroll past you towards the exit, he catches your eye and winks. “That, and they haven’t changed the lingo since the 70’s.”

Laughing, you rub Kaydel’s back as Rey swaps places with Finn and helps bracket your green-tinged friend. “Let’s get you some water, yeah?”

Kaydel manages a slight nod, and the three of you make your way towards the exit.

Behind you, you can hear Poe and Finn bickering, as they’re wont to do.

“It’s a ride, dude,” Finn is saying, the exasperation clear in his tone.

“It’s physics, dude,” Poe shoots back. “There’s NO way the car on the outside of the turn would be able to finish first.”

Worst. Loser. Ever.

Your rag-tag alliance eventually makes it out of the exit tunnel. Ben’s waiting across the walkway, those ridiculously long arms crossed over his chest as he leans against the guard rail and steadily ignores whatever Armitage is ranting about.

On the bench next to them, Rose perks up, a smirk crossing her pretty face as she sees Poe’s expression. “Well, I don’t need to ask who won.”

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” the most-competitive-pilot-in-the-galaxy grumbles back, adjusting his backpack. You help Kaydel to a bench, where she quickly curls up.

Rey rolls her eyes as she forces her way into the circle of Ben’s arms. “It’s not like any of us could have actually controlled the outcome, you noodle.”

“Not without some kind of magic,” Ben intones dryly, resting his chin on his girlfriend’s head.

“How cool would that be, though?” Rey’s getting her Down-The-Wormhole-We-Go eyes. You and Rose exchange a Look™️ as she starts gesturing wildly with her hands. “Like, imagine if you could just look at something like rocks and, like, make them fly. Or make someone do whatever you wanted them to do. OH!” She looks up at Ben with a slightly manic expression. “Lightning bolts from your fingers!!”

Well-used to these kinds of rambles, Ben gently captures her hands and wraps her into a hug that doubles as a straight jacket. “No more SyFy channel before bed.”

Rose slides her arms around her husband as Finn joins her on the bench. “Did you behave?”

Nora, in all her 6-year-old innocence, giggles. “Mr Finn said a whole lot of swear-jar words.” She casts a critical eye on the young man. “You probably said enough you could buy an Elsa doll.” The ‘for me’ is unsaid, but implied.

Karé rapidly turns her laugh into a cough.

Finn glances down at his wife as Rose smacks him upside the head. “Hey! That tractor thing is terrifying. And Maz said WAY more than I did!”

“Age before beauty, Finnigan,” Maz says haughtily, waving off Finn’s ‘m'name’s not Finnigan, damn it’.

Giggling, you tune out the ridiculousness that is your found family and turn your attention to your still-sulking boy toy. “You know,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his waist, “you make that face for long enough and it’ll stick that way.”

He huffs. “This is just how my face looks.”

“Uh huh.” Considering yourself quite the expert in his face, having spent countless hours studying every crease and line until you could have drawn him blindfolded, you call bullshit, but say nothing further.

“It is,” he insists.

“Okay,” you agree.

The King of Sarcasm narrows his eyes. “You’re doing that thing.”

You widen your eyes innocently. “What thing?”

“That thing where it sounds like you’re agreeing with me but you’re really telling me I’m a dumbass.”

“What?!” You bring your hand to your chest. “Moi?! I would never.”

He huffs again, but you can see the hint of a smirk starting to break though.

“C’mon, First Runner Up,” you tease. “No sulking in Disneyland. Let me buy you a drink at Trader Sam’s, and then we can sneak off to the Haunted Mansion and make out like teenagers in our Doom Buggy.”

He tilts his head, considering it.

“Or-“ You brush an inky curl off his forehead and stand on your toes until your lips are just about caressing his ear and whisper, “-we could get back in line right now and go again.”

Even before you’ve finished speaking, Poe’s grabbing your hand and hauling you back towards the entrance, tossing a “See you jerks later!” as he pulls you under the Radiator Springs Racers sign. Their laughter echos behind you as he leads the way through the mostly empty line (thank goodness for parade lulls).

As you wait in the queue, only a few dozen people stand between Poe and his (re)shot at victory. You see that competitive gleam in his eyes start to come alive again.

“Hey.” You tug on his tee shirt until he looks at you. “If our car doesn’t win, tonight I’ll do That Thing you love.”

“Babe.” The look he gives you is one of pure torture. “You are killing me here.” He really loves to win. But he really, really loves That Thing. “What about when we come in first?”

You shrug demurely. “Then you wear Those Pants™️ tomorrow.”

Hm. Poe’s always been quick to calculate his odds, and this is quickly turning into a win/win situation. If you lose, he gets That Thing. But Those Pants™️ turn you about feral, and when you’re in that kind of mood- let’s just say Poe still has the scars on his shoulders to prove it.

“Are those terms acceptable, Flight Commander Dameron?” You smile sweetly up at him.

His licentious grin says it all. “Hell yeah.”

For the record, your car does lose a second time. And the next morning, Poe hardly has Those Pants over his ass when you’re ripping them back down his legs and shoving him backwards onto the bed.

Oh, yeah, he thinks to himself. This is better than any dumb kid’s ride.

…doesn’t mean he’s not going to ride it as many times as it takes to win.

A/N: I almost titled this “Tell me you have children without saying you have children”. I am so fucking sick of ‘Lining McQueen’. Yay 4-year-olds.

Thank you for reading; likes and reblogs feed my soul.

[taecalikook]

The Platinum Rules

summary : Being a true fuckboy he truly is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with his one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands. Last one, is never, never ever meet a girl’s parents under any, any circumstance ever. These are his Platinum Rule, the one never break even once and it conveniently keeps him off the hook for anything. But what magic are you playing to have the fuckboy break all his rules for you in a span of only 24 hours?

{fake relationship! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}

pairing : kim taehyung x reader 

word counter : 24.556

A.N = Read (Not) Just Friends here! Please be mindful this is in Lia’s perspective in (Not) Just Friends!

================================

“You did not just… You know what? Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook!”

Jungkook snickers, looking at the panicked face of his best friend, Taehyung when he sees he is not the only one in the table. Taehyung should have guessed, though. Since when did Jungkook ever ask for a dinner together other than McDonald and its peers? He thought Jungkook was being nice, wine and dining him for somehow ignoring their best friendship ever since getting himself a new girlfriend. Not that he is unhappy for Jungkook and he’d rather chop off his finger than to admit this, but he misses partying night in and out with him—he is just that whipped for his new girlfriend and decides to take himself off that routinity.

“I only say she is cute once. Once! And I don’t see any reason why you, your girlfriend and Y/N should be having dinner in this fancy ass place! This is a lowkey double date, do you know that?” Taehyung hisses in agitation.

“It doesn’t have to be! No one saying this is a double date beside you.” Jungkook amusedly chuckles, raising both his palm in defeat. “We are just going to have a nice dinner together, bro. As friends.”

Taehyung throws him an annoyed look. “You really going to fucking act like I don’t know you?! You are setting me up with this girl, I knew it! Jungkook, I told you, I am not interested in dating! I know it’s good for you, but I am not chaining myself to that time bomb, thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. But we are taking too much time in the toilet for two men and people there gonna think we are fucking. Let’s go.” Jungkook mindlessly put an arm on Taehyung’s shoulder, walking back to the desk in which his girlfriend and you are chatting lively. Taehyung takes a deep breath, then launches an elbow kick square to Jungkook’s rib that throws him to coughing fit to get his arms off him.

“I swear when we are done, I’ll punch you in your fucking annoying handsome face.”

Jungkook launches a flirty wink along with a chuckle. “I don’t mind you hitting on me, but my girlfriend is just right here.”

“Hey, you guys. What is taking so long in there?” Jungkook’s girlfriend cheerfully asks and both of the men shake their heads with an awkward smile. God, Taehyung really wants to snap to his own head right now, how he wishes to be anywhere but here. There is actually a party in the female frat he is greatly acquainted with. Should have just gone there to relieve some tense instead.

“They’re probably fucking.” You instinctively murmur, unknowingly too loud and audible to anywhere in the radius of a meter while calmly sipping on the glass of red wine. Your best friend slash roommate gasps, slapping your shoulder—somehow embarrassed.

“Y/N!”

Taehyung glances at the girl pouting in front of him, somehow finding her ironic jokes entertaining. Well, even though he is greatly opposed to the idea of a double date, but hanging out with this girl is probably not the worst idea. Probably beats hanging out alone with Jungkook while he is playing fucking Overwatch. 

Well, it goes back to a month ago when Jungkook finally got his shit together and confessed—ugh, the mutual pining seriously sickens him. Even if Taehyung is glad for Jungkook, he is uncertain how he can even settle down after living his greatest life. Man, Jungkook was on the top of the world—good athletic career, good body, beautiful girls—but now that he is settling down, and it kinda makes him uncool in a way. Probably because now he has a girlfriend, he is not really active in all the jock and frat activities like he used to. Girls are already done chasing him, not with that love-sick puppy eyes he has whenever his girlfriend is near—or even far and even with only a month, Taehyung quite had enough. In conclusion, relationships sucks and it changes people, and Taehyung doesn’t want to let go of the great life he is having right now just for settling for one girl. Why only one when he can have more, right?

Then when both Jungkook and Taehyung were hanging out, one night in their shared room, he mistakenly mentioned that you were cute. And he did not lie—he still doesn’t—but it didn’t mean anything! He mentioned dogs are cute probably even a thousand times, but he doesn’t see Jungkook getting him a dog. What’s the difference with saying you were cute? Jungkook is a literal dumbass for even thinking Taehyung can settle for a relationship.

The night goes on, and Taehyung finds himself counting the awkward jokes that have been thrown by Jungkook and his girlfriend about this being a double date and what a great match he is with you. He is literally keeping a tab of everything—waiting for all to be finished so he can finally get the long-awaited revenge he has been counting seconds for. But not that he will say it with his own tongue, he does think that you are cool—as a person. If these pair of idiot gooses are not here, he somehow thinks both of you might actually hit it off—as a good friend, of course.

“God, this is such a great dinner, right?” Your roommate yells, looking mildly buzzed with alcohol. You side-eye her and sigh, resting your glass of wine back. One thing about your best friend is she favors red wine a little too much, and sipping on the beverage like there is no tomorrow. Jungkook holds her hand across the table, eyes filled with adoration. 

“Are you okay, pumpkin? You look drunk.” Jungkook coos with a warm smile, and she smiles back, a wide smile painted on her lips. Taehyung literally feels the urge to puke just listening to the affection lacing in his tone. God, love really changes Jungkook.

“You know what? I love you, Jungkookie!” She suddenly stands up, crashes into Jungkook’s arm, gives him a haste kiss on the lips, right before walking drunkenly outside. Her surprised boyfriend swiftly chases her away, before signaling Taehyung to pay for their dinner. Taehyung is baffled on the side. Jungkook that bastard seriously invited him for this horrendous dinner, yet still asking him to pay? Fucker! But as he notices your eyes prodding his way, he quickly puts on a composed face, giving you a thin smile.

“I think that concludes this very, very confusing but yet pleasant dinner.” Taehyung smiles, while asking for the bill. “I am sorry if you are forced into this dinner. This new couple think they got the right to play immortal on us, right?” He cynically jokes and laughs at it, but your face is too straight to respond so his chuckle is slowing to a complete stop.

“I’m actually the one asking for this double date.” You whisper, an unexplainable emotion rushing on your tone. “I’m the one saying I want her to set us up so we can be together. I like you. I want to be with you, Taehyung. Forever. You—you want this too, right?”

The fear on Taehyung’s chest is instantly risen, seeing the crazy, psychopathic look in your eyes. Well he really thought you are not the type to stick up only after a dinner—but he cannot deny his instinct does disappoint him way too much than he could even be proud of. The instant urge to leave the spot and escape is too much with his feet are already out the table until you break it with a loud, hearty chuckle. “God! Messing with fuckboys is soooo fun! I can’t believe you fall for that!” 

Taehyung scrunch his eyebrow, detecting the unexpected jubilant look on your face. He is  bewildered.

Seeing that Taehyung still is not getting your very, very obvious joke, you sigh. Dumbass fuckboy. His cocky ass big head does not surprise you even a little. “God, I was kidding! Sorry to break it to you—it may be too hard to understand, but not every girl will be willing to take turns sucking your dick, dude. Sorry, life be like that.” You sarcastically note, setting your napkin on the table and Taehyung feels somehow relaxed and offended at the same time. Weird emotions, really. 

“I don’t even know why I am here.” You continue, displaying a friendly smile now, reaching out for your glass of wine. “Should have known. I fell for this fake dinner thing too many times now, gonna reject every dinner invitation from now on.”

Taehyung grins, finally able to breathe easily. Well, he deals with way too many obsessive and stuck up one night stands now that it even terrifies him to be around them, so that’s that. You are too cool to be like one of them, he just knew it.

“Gotta make an exception for me, though.” Taehyung cheekily musters, suddenly surging a confidence on his own skin. You are already dominating the conversation too long now, he just had to take over. “How else can I get to know you better, huh?”

Being a true fuckboy he really is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them, as dinner is a very, very intimate thing that involves a lot of real talks—instead of dirty talks in which he is way, way better on. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands, as sunshine is just a sign that he has spent more than necessary time with her and can only result in any bothersome attachment after. Last one, and probably the rule that has no exception whatsoever, is never, never ever meet a girl’s relatives under any, any circumstance ever. The three rules are all based on his experience learning it the hard way, and ever since, he never broke even a rule and it greatly keeps him off the hook for anything. 

But albeit important, he will let himself break his first rule for you. Only because you are hot—and probably is included in the one percent population of girls who doesn’t need to be reminded that he is not looking for anything but a short fun. A lot of girls tend to forget that easily, getting to attached to what a gentleman he is before and during sex, and always become such a bother after. But he’ll trust this one that you’re not that kind of girl. Even with a bruise on his pride, since he is slightly doubtful if you’ll even agree to his proposal for hooking up tonight. At least, teasing you is already a great enough entertainment for him.

“Boy, I don’t want to know who that can actually work with, but I’m not that difficult to get to bed with.” You chuckle at his pathetic attempt to work his way inside your skirt. Taehyung raises his eyebrow, not believing his own hearing. You are glancing down now—probably to the phone on your lap and your face instantly contorts, and a sigh of tiredness escapes your lips. “I’m way too tired now anyway, better just go back home, fuck and get it over with.”

“W-what? You seriously want to fuck, willingly with me just like that?”

You give his shoulder a pity pat, a thin smirk on your lips. “God, Taehyung, do you actually need to work that hard to get laid all these time?”

“B-but, you just said every girl—”

“I changed my mind.” You sigh, getting tired of the constant queries, along with the message you just received. Jackasses, seriously. “Taehyung, I’m tired. Let's go pay and head back to my apartment. I think the cringy couple will not be there, but fuck them, let them hear us fucking so loud they need to follow as well.”

Taehyung cannot even believe the crude answer coming out from such beautiful, innocent lips, yet the intense anticipation of what’s about to come his way is too unbearable he could not wait even a second to get you under him and win his dominance back. At the cashier, Taehyung quickly slaps a card on the table with his foot swiftly tapping on the floor in impatience. You can’t help but to find that strangely adorable, yet disgusting at the same time. You are seriously hooking up with the worst fuckboy in your university. Never thought you'd stoop this low, but that’s life, right? Let’s see if he can put his money where his mouth is.

Seeing that Taehyung does not show any sign of asking your part of the bill, you are quick to remind him. “Taehyung, I will pay you back, okay? I’ll transfer it.”

“What? There’s no need for that, honey.” Taehyung whispers smoothly, putting in his pin with a wink. “It’s just a small thing I can do for a beautiful lady such as you.’

You snort at his cringy remark, greatly bothered by his every word. “Taehyung, seriously, stop. Any effort you have to do just to get laid will make everything worse.” Taehyung smiles to himself, somehow expecting the snarky remarks even before he threw the stupid comment. You are surely one of a kind. “And I’ll pay you back. This is not a date, and I’m not a prostitute, you don’t have to pay for me.”

The unexpected aggression and anger coming from you quite blow him off his edge, as you thomp furiously to exit the restaurant. Are you seriously saying that you are bothered by him willing to pay for dinner? Taehyung is all down for feminism, but he was literally just being nice—and beside, Jungkook is literally going to stab him with a fork if he ever lets you pay, so that’s that. 

But one realization comes to his mind—he is not going to deal with you long enough to think about your weird trait again. Tonight, all he needs to do is suck everything—and he means, everything. And when he leaves before midnight, then all will be just fine.

*

It’s weird.

Taehyung slowly flutters open his eyes, oddly feeling ten times better than he has been recently after waking up. He doesn’t even know why—probably the wonderful scent of vanilla and citrus that is vivid on his smell. But wait—what the fuck? That’s probably the one of the furthest things he will ever wake up to! He should be waking up annoyed by strong scent of sweat and cheap male perfume, not this.

Fuck, fuck! That ceiling—the light blue ceiling with countless translucent fake stars, that’s not his ceiling either. He was supposed to be looking at a cringy, old poster of Metallica on his dorm room ceiling. And this excessively comfortable, dark blue fur blanket hugging his waist, that’s most absolutely not his. And god, who the damn is he holding right now?!

“What the fuck! Why are you still here?!”

Well that is literally the words he had on his mind just a second ago, yet surprisingly it is not him who is yelling. It is a girl he had a nice dinner with yesterday—with red wine and everything. The girl who was too prideful to let him pay, and the girl who strangely manages to throw him off his game with their continuous three rounds of dirty, dirty sex and God, he swears he never cum harder before in his life—and it says a lot because he does lots of sex. Like a lot. Yup, it’s you.

God, he shouldn’t be here, he should just head home right after sex. He broke his second rule, right after breaking his first one last night, even worsewith the same girl—you. What the fuck is wrong with himself?!

“You said you would leave after a ten minutes nap!” You hiss, clearly disliking the fact that you have to wake up seeing his annoyingly handsome face—with bed hair mussed deliciously and all. Is it weird that you are feeling terribly ugly right now with him still looking like a handsome sex god on your bed? And still feeling his arm around your wait, you groan in disgust. “And why the fuck are you holding me?! Seriously, you are the worst one night stand ever.”

Taehyung quickly detaches himself off you like you are a disease, yet no offense taken since you are glad he is finally a distance away. “I was fucking tired after fucking three rounds yesterday, I think I fell asleep longer than I thought.” You roll your eyes since all you hear is bullshit. “And for your information, I always sleep hugging my bolster. And since you are fucking weird and do not have a bolster, I guess I just settle for less.” He reasons, but you respond with a snort.

“And the worst one night stand ever—are you kidding me? Funny I don’t recall you saying that last night when I generously let you cum in my tongue.” Taehyung continues with a smug, and you can’t help but to feel heated at the memory of last night, Taehyung finally used his mouth for a better cause for once—since you despise it when he is talking. Yet there is no use denying that Taehyung is indeed a master with his tongue, but of course you’d rather cut your arm rather than admitting it to his cocky ass face.

“Pssh—like you weren’t begging to have a taste.” You sinisterly defend yourself and Taehyung chuckles, vaguely shrugging as an answer. You involuntarily stare at his smiling face, and you have to admit he does look his best with it.  God, are you seriously thinking such domestic thoughts with this fuckboy right now? The alcohol must still have an effect on you.

“Why are you staring at me? Finally realize that you should have just jumped on my bone again instead of doing this strange, pillow talk?” Taehyung impishly grins so you land a strong punch on his bare chest with all your might. He lets out a definite cough, definitely not expecting the strength coming out from such a small frame like yours. “Damn woman, what exactly are you?!”

“A girl that can definitely kick your naked ass out of her apartment if you don’t leave in five.” You solemnly warn. Taehyung let out a light laugh, shuffling out of your blanket with no shame whatsoever with his straight out of womb nakedness to grab his clothes. And you cannot bear to notice how apparent his morning wood is—and it brings pleasant yet unnecessary memories of last night to your mind. You seriously need to get a hold of yourself cause if not, you might have to play with yourself after and you don’t really want to get off with the thought of him for the fourth time now. “For the love of God, Taehyung! Put some clothes on!”

Taehyung is unimpressed, pointing at his clothes like it’s the most obvious thing. “What are you—yes, I’m doing it right now, you idiot. And I’m using your bathroom first, I don’t want to look like a fucking idiot, walking around the campus with a morning hard on.” He pouts, but then a smirk formed on his lips. “Or you want to lend a hand with this?”

You shut him with a pillow thrown to his annoying, smug face. “The fuck no. And what, no you can’t!” You answer in panic, pointing to your door. “We only have a shared bathroom here. Let me check if my roommate is out.”

Taehyung sighs. “Y/N, you literally told me last night to fuck as loud as we can and let them hear so they can follow.” Listening to him quoting you from last night, you internally wince. You literally don’t have any trace of ever saying that in your vague memory. God, you must had been drunker than you thought.

“That’s just the drunk and horny talking.” You hiss, trying to steal a peek through the door. There is no sign of your roommate, so everything should be good to go. Or at least you think so. “The cocky ass new couple will be all over our asses, Tae. They will think something is up, try setting us up like yesterday. Ugh, no thanks. You have to leave without anyone knowing.”

“Hate to say you are kinda correct in that one, buddy.” Taehyung sighs. He literally said he was going to punch Jungkook for arranging the dinner, yet now he was the one taking advantage of it. He would not let Jungkook win on that one—he still desperately needs that one punch chance or that fuckers will never let it slip ever, even until the day he is well rested and buried. “Okay, is she out now? Jungkook is not there, right?”

Like a cue of bad luck, your roommate and Jungkook walk out of her room, hand in hand with each other right to sit on the sofa. Jungkook kisses the tip of her head, caressing the side of her face while scrolling through netflix on the tv. “I can’t believe we are watching Taken for the hundred times already just so you can fulfill your Liam Neeson odd kink.” Jungkook impassively huffs.

“God, Liam Neeson kink? Your roommate is fucking weird.” Taehyung lowly whispers, all of a sudden already squatting beside you. You jump a few steps back due to the shock of seeing his face up close, clutching your chest dramatically.

“Damn, can you stop shocking me?!”

Taehyung greasily winks. “Baby, I don’t think anything should shock you after seeing my dick in all its glory.”

You fold your chest, slightly amused but majorly annoyed by his unending arrogance. “Ugh, don’t baby me. And well, I am still shocked probably because I don’t think your dick is outstanding whatsoever.”

Taehyung ignores your stubborn, obviously a lie remark, and continues peeking from the door crack. “God, a film. Probably take them one or two hours. But I think Jungkook has practice in… one and a half hours, so maybe I can go by then.”

Your frown turns deeper, dreading the imagination of spending another hour with him, locked in your 3x5 meters room. Are you even capable of holding yourself from strangling off his cocky, annoying head? This could probably be the greatest challenge you will ever have to face. 

“What should we do for an hour and a half….” Taehyung whispers to himself, sends you a suggestive look while wiggling his eyebrows. You quickly send him your middle finger as an answer, already rejecting whatever idea he has since you are well aware there is no possibility you will like it.

“I am not suggesting to fuck, sorry if you were expecting that.” Taehyung lopsidedly smirks, and you fold your arm in agitation. God, you wish everything can be over so you can go to your parents home and call it a week. And it’s saying a lot since you never look forward to going back home every weekend. “I won’t refuse, but I just want to play now. Do you play animal crossing?”

“Seriously?! You play too?!” You are surprised to say the least, voice unforeseen raising in delight. You really do not expect a fuckboy like Taehyung would play a game like animal crossing—you thought he would hold on to that toxic masculinity and play whatever popular ‘boy’ games right now. It is strangely a nice surprise. “Can I visit your island? Let’s trade too! I have bamboo shoot lamp, log dining table—”

Taehyung chuckles, seeing how passionate you are, scrambling to get your nintendo from your night desk and turning it on while blabbering non stop about your items. He strangely finds it endearing, how drastic you can be when you are not trying to kick him out with a torch and pitchfork and it only takes a freaking animal crossing game. You are tremendously unpredictable, and he finds himself liking the refreshing change of pace. He walks back to your bed, sitting beside you while you animatedly chatter about your island.

Is it too wistful to wish that the current strange yet greatly amusing thing going for the both of you does not have to end now?

*

After being firsthand kicked out from your apartment when Jungkook went to his practice, Taehyung walks to the basement to get to his car in a strange mood. It’s Saturday, yet he doesn’t know what to do or where to go. There is another frat party that will be held tonight, yet he finds himself less than excited to go. He loves parties, but he is not delusional to think that he will love it forever—he is already in a phase of finding parties are monotonous and boring most times. Yet going home is not really a convenient option since there is no use—it’s empty anyway. Frankly, he doesn’t even know what home to him really is. Is it his dorm? Is it the party? Yet they probably give him a better definition of home rather than his own real house.

So Taehyung decides to drive his car back to his apartment on the other side of the town, far from his parents house. The upside of being a child of divorce is probably being shoved money to his mouth like it's the only thing that matters—yet he doesn’t mind. Or maybe he does, but there is no use in complaining, right? He is 21 now, he is over that complaining, depressed phase of his life. Maybe take a couple of depressants tonight, cry a little to sleep and he should be fine. Or maybe he’ll schedule a session with his psychiatrist—he has been missing lots of sessions and it may or may not has taken a toll on him already.

After arriving his car inside the apartment building, Taehyung sighes on his seat, a great exhaustion painted on his face—and he literally is. Just a few hours ago he was able to momentarily forget every issue in his life, but after he is alone, the anguish of loneliness hits him like a ton of brick. He is alone. He is nobody. Nobody likes him, even his own parents. He is just an emotionless shithead who is not right in the head. Who is he to think that he is worthy? Nothing in his life he achieves with his own hands, and life is just a constant train of problems and disappointment. It will never go the other way, since happiness is not for him.

Taehyung rests his head on the wheels, shutting his eyes tight to handle the tears coercing to rain out. No! He doesn’t want to cry now! Even then the ugly tears won’t stop coming out, and he tries to find purchase by hitting his head on the wheel. He enjoys the pain. The pain he is feeling right now—it never felt so right before.

Right until someone knocks on his window, simultaneously stopping his current emotional breakdown. He looks up—probably looking like an ugly, crying mess, expecting the security with an disapproving look on his face for the nth time. But instead he finds someone that instantly melts his whole being—somehow successfully distracting him from the intrusive thoughts he was having.

“Taehyung, are you okay? Hey come out, you have been there for awhile now.”

Taehyung quickly sweeps his tears with his sleeve, fixing the hairs on his forehead to conceal the bruise that might be formed from hitting it multiple times to the wheel and look down. God, this is embarrassing! He never thought he would meet her again in this situation—it seems like life is playing games on him and he despises it for her to always find him in such a ridiculous situation.

“Mina, hi.” Taehyung stutters nervously, somehow avoiding his neighbor prodding eyes that always sends him to nervous bundles. “I—I don’t know you’re home.”

“What are you saying, I’m always home.” Mina chuckles, pointing at the paper bag filled with groceries. “Just came back from grocery shopping. I am cooking pasta today. You wanna join?”

Taehyung looks at her sincere eyes, silently thankful that she is not going to mention his previous breakdown—not that she ever does. Whenever she witnesses his breakdown; crying in his car, hearing screams when he feels suffocated, things being thrown away, and even that one time he brought his one night stands back to his apartment and the girl runs out crying due to his unpleasant way of shooing her away; Mina never judges. She would come knocking at his door, asking him to join her watching the TV, or eating the less than edible food she cooks herself. It’s always a great time with her, and Taehyung could not lie that he feels greatly comfortable with her presence.

“I would love to. Kinda unsure if I won’t get a digestion issue after eating it, though—but i’ll take my chances.” Taehyung smirk cheekily. The girl scowls, shoves him away with her free hand, and strides inside the apartment lobby without waiting for him. Taehyung warmly smiles, quickly walks to her side to walk to their neighboring apartment. “Here, let me take that for you.” Taehyung instinctively grabs the load off her arm. Mina smiles, pressing the lift button to their apartment level.

“It’s been such a long time since your last visit, Tae.” She is staring intently on the man beside her. It was too much for Taehyung, causing his heart pounding faster than normal. He bit his lips, looking anywhere else but her.

“I missed you.” She whispers.

That is it. The word he longs and needed to hear the most—ironically not only from her, but from everyone. And now Mina is saying it to her, Taehyung feels like he is about to cry from the overwhelming emotion. Oh, how he wishes he could say the reason behind his absence. But no, he has to be strong, at least this once. So he forces a thin smile, and tries to change the topic to anything else.

After five minutes full of small talks and keeping up with each other’s lives, Taehyung and Mina finally arrive in front of her apartment door. She shuffles on her purse. “Wait, I’m grabbing my keys.”

“No shit sherlock.”

Right when she swings open the door, someone is already waiting inside, waiting on the couch while watching Pororo. “Mama!” She squeals in delight, running to Mina’s grasp with her two ponytails waving through the air, then clutching onto her for dear life. “And Taehyung oppa is here too!” She shouts in delight, changing her target now to Taehyung for a hug. Mina instinctively retrieves the paper bag from him so he scoops the little girl and holds her close. 

“Oppa, I miss you so much! I haven’t seen you since forever!” The five years old pouts, lightly hitting his chest with her cute, little fist. Taehyung quickly gives her a kiss on the cheek—oh, how he adores the little girl in his arms now. 

“Sorry, oppa is busy. But it’s okay since he is here now!” He smiles, trying to lighten up her mood. She is the whole reason that Taehyung is here in the first place—the little gremlin he loves so much, probably even more than himself. She is Yuna, Mina’s daughter.

Mina is two years older than Taehyung, and she was married three years ago to a man with a daughter. The man is away most of the time for his job offshore, and is back every three to six months. When Taehyung bought the apartment they were already living there—the first neighbor that welcomes him warmly regardless of how unwelcoming he was, as he hated socializing with new people. But they never exchange anything beside a short, civil smile until one day.

Everything changed on the day Taehyung was about to head for class, he found an unannounced guest standing by his door—a four-years-old Yuna, unknowingly went out while her stepmother was sleeping. Yuna was lost, crying out loud because she couldn't get back inside. Taehyung was well aware of the identity of the toddler, so he instantly knocked on his neighbor's door while holding Yuna’s petite hand on his side. 

After finding the fact that her daughter was put in danger by her own carelessness, Mina cried, feeling totally remorseful for forgetting to lock the door. She mentioned she was so exhausted, finishing all night for her upcoming book and having to clean Yuna and the house after. Later that night she invited Taehyung for a thank you dinner, which did not really go well since she couldn’t cook for shit—but still insisting to. Yet even with an upset stomach, Taehyung never felt as comfortable as when he was having dinner with her. At that time, he was severely lonely and needed a friend. That’s how it began—he would always knock on her door, and she always welcomed him with open arms. He got addicted to hanging around Mina and her beautiful daughter.

Yet it was a very foolish thing to even let himself believe hanging around nearly every single day around a married woman is harmless—because he was and still is an idiot and somehow, against all odds and his own cynical thoughts, he caught feelings. Bad. But how could he not? Mina was probably the kindest, the most beautiful soul he has ever met. She always knows the right thing to say at the right time, and being around her always makes him feel hundred times better. She sees the real him, instead of the dumb, rich and messed up fuckboy everyone sees him nearly everywhere. Like seeing her and talking to her—he could finally breathe after holding it for the longest time. 

But it was not long until every illusion Taehyung had fell through. Mina’s husband came back home from his three months offshore work and that's exactly when he faced a cold truth that nothing was ever going to work out anymore. Mina is married to a very kind man as well, and Taehyung would never go against his sanity and ruin it—especially when he knew who would be the most affected by it. It’s Yuna, the most wonderful child who has frankly gone through a lot after her birth mother passed away a few years back from cancer. Taehyung is a child of divorce for god sake, he knew how painful it was for the child like the back of his hand. He would rather die than to be the one doing it to her. That’s the sole reason he has been avoiding Mina and Yuna at all cost. All because he wants to protect the two girls he adores so much.

“Oppa, I am still waiting to play the toy with you! Come play with me!” Yuna cries, promptly running inside her room to grab a few of her new toys. Taehyung easily complies, walking to the living room and detecting a bunch of very Yuna-typical toys—zombies. She always loved playing plants vs zombies on her device, so he bought her zombie and plants toys on her birthday two months ago, but never got to play them before with her. Yet when the large toy on her little grasp is close, Taehyung detects that it is still securely sealed.

“Yuna, you never played this before? Don’t you like it?” Taehyung is saddened at the fact that the girl never played with the toy he gave. But Yuna fervently shakes her head, comfortably sits on Taehyung’s lap like old times and leans on his chest. 

“I like it! But I want to play it with oppa first!” Yuna smiles widely, showing her missing front teeth and Taehyung is unable to hold his smile. The girl is literally the cutest girl ever to exist and he is willingly smitten into her cute charms. Taehyung pecks her cheek in fondness before helping her in opening the box of toys.

After a great forty minutes passed, Yuna is already exhausted, sleeping on Taehyung’s chest since she spends too much of her energy screaming, laughing while playing with her plants vs zombie toys and figurines. He leans on the sofa, caressing the top of the five year old head sleeping on his arms, gazing at her serene sleeping face. She looked very content and happy, and seeing her like this is therapeutic for him. 

“Taehyung, let me get her to her room. Let’s eat, the pasta is ready.” Mina whispers, and he nods, letting the woman take her child to her bedroom. Taehyung coughs, a strange feeling suddenly runs through his mind at how domestic all of these feels. God, he told himself a million times that this should not happen—he was trying his best to evade getting too attached with them to the point that he next to never comes back to his own apartment anymore—yet one accidental visit and he is now back at one. This is ridiculous!

Finding no other solution than trying to survive another thirty minutes without making a fool, or even derangedly hurting himself in the process, Taehyung takes a seat on the dining table with a decent looking pasta served on it. The hurried steps of Mina are heard and Taehyung quickly clears his throat. This is it, Taehyung. Just one lunch, and that’s all. You can finally go back to your apartment. 

“Let’s eat! I actually tried cooking this exact recipe before, and I know it tastes good. I’ve been practicing, you know.” Mina grimaces, remembering the time Taehyung vomited when her so-called scallops were badly cooked and his stomach was greatly upset, causing Taehyung to skip his classes for a full week. Seeing how nervous she is unknowingly brings a smile on his lips. “At least you won’t throw up this time, trust me.”

“I kinda doubt it, but let’s go.” Taehyung teases, while Mina scoops a portion to his plate. He nods gratefully, with the nerves gradually increasing. This annoying voice on his head keeps repeating the thing he is most afraid of, but he pushes it away and musters a thin smile. No. He’ll finish the lunch, run back to his apartment, and never come back for another four months. That’s better.

One habit whenever Taehyung is nervous is he always runs a finger through his hair. The said habit being done is pushing away the strands of hair on his forehead, exposing a palpable bruise which faintly bleeds due to the great force of knocking his forehead on the wheel during his latest breakdown in the car. Seeing how concerning the injury has looked with a smear of blood is evident on his forehead, Mina jumps on her seat in worry. “God—Tae! Your forehead, it bleeds!”

Yup, it is. Taehyung coherently snorts when touching the forehead with his palm, seeing a hint of blood on it. He is instantly aware of the pain. What a fucking idiot he is—god, when will he stop making a fool of himself?

“Wait, I’ll grab some meds, okay?”

Mina walks to one of the cabins, then returns with a box of first-aid kits to his side. She takes a seat beside him, pointing it so she can comfortably access the bleeding bruise on Taehyung’s forehead. One thing that she might be clueless about is how nervous Taehyung is, heart rate abnormally fast just by seeing her face in such close proximity—so close he can even spot the little mole on the side of her nose bridge—while the familiar, refreshing scent of lilac is radiating off her. She is tending his bruise carefully, her left fingers secured on his left jaw to keep him in place, and Taehyung's head literally spins. How can someone be this beautiful?

At one point, everything is too much to handle for Taehyung. He likes Mina, this beautiful, married woman that somehow gets him better than everyone, but he can never be with her. He could not let himself fall even deeper and do something he will most absolutely regret after. “Mina, stop. It’s—it’s enough.” He breathes lowly, abruptly losing his ability to speak, especially when her lips are just a breath away for him to touch. But he knows they were overstepping the boundary and desperately needs to stop. It’s not right.

Then at once, the confusion on Mina’s face turns into remorse and the next thing both of them know that their lips are touching, both eyes closed with Mina’s hands secured on each side of his shoulders. He is now kissing Mina.

Taehyung cannot lie that he did imagine about kissing her before. Yet at that time, the only thing he feels is disgust, ten times worse than he already feels for himself. Not even a second felt right—a flash of his broken family went through his mind. He just stopped to another level of low; he is kissing a married woman.

“Mina, stop! We cannot do this.” Taehyung gruffly pushes her away, quickly standing up with a heavy urge to vomit coming out from his stomach. It’s disgusting, he is disgusting. Not that he is miserable with himself, he just became a cause of someone else’s misery. He is really the bad guy in every story.

“I-i’m sorry. I’m sorry, Taehyung. I-i know it was wrong, I don’t know what has gotten into me—”

Taehyung is irritated beyond words, his face reddening while he furiously scrubs the remnants of the kiss on his lips with no holding back whatsoever. He is disgusted with himself, and frankly he is disgusted with Mina. He never should have come here. There’s literally nothing good will ever come out on meeting the married woman he somehow liked—and a realization is dawned on him. He just sinned Yuna. The innocent, five-years-old girl that deserves happiness more than anyone else in this whole world. It feels like he already hit rock bottom, like he just wanted to throw himself off a cliff.

“It is wrong!” Taehyung aggressively hisses, quickly walking to the living room to grab his belongings, yet finding the toys he just played with Yuna results in him feeling uncomfortably nauseous. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to him.“This, this never happened. It’s better for us to not see each other again.” He runs to the door with great fury, before a whimper of his name is heard. Mina is calling him.

Yet he is unable to walk away without seeing her one last time. Hearing her voice calling his name. Listening to what she is about to say.

“Taehyung, I’m sorry.”

*

After running away from the encounter with Mina, he called his super that he is selling the apartment right away. He has to close everything—every little chance of seeing Mina, and sadly even Yuna. Taehyung desperately needs some space, and so does her. It’s better not to see each other again. 

Hence, now he has nowhere to go. Going back to his dorm is not an option—he is currently at the lowest point of his life and seeing anyone from college is never a convenient option. So that night, Taehyung decides to spend the night in his car, parked on the side of Han River. It’s a place for him whenever he is sad. A place that always reminds him that he is still too scared to die. A place to remind him that somehow, he still yearns his life to go the other way. A better one.

And at one point, after bawling his eyes out, he is desperate to feel the wind slapping his face and knock some sense into him. He exits the car, taking his time to walk to the side of the river, hands secured inside his pocket. He closes his eyes, taking in the cold wind and feels it rushing through his face. The cold was definitely a tid bit much—probably to the point he couldn’t feel his face, but he somehow prefers it. 

But he is most absolutely unable to stand another minute clenching at the rail of the river, so he walks to the nearest bench, placed under a tree. It is more convenient—the wind is hundred times kinder and he can finally feel his face. And all of a sudden, his phone rings. He half-heartedly steals a glance, finding an unknown number. He easily rejects the call, before it rings once again. And again, and again until he annoyedly picks up just to shout his agitation to whoever is on the other side of the call.

“Is this—is this Taehyung?”

The familiar yet so strange voice welcomes him, and the anger on the tip of his tongue dissolves. But he is still uncertain of his hypotheses on the identity of the caller on the other side. “Yes. Who is this?”

“Hi, sorry, this is Y/N. I know we just met and I am not even your acquaintance or anything, but can I ask for your help this time? I swear I owe you one after, but please just help me with this one.” 

It’s Y/N. It’s seriously you on the other side, yet Taehyung could not believe his ears. Is his hearing deceiving him right now? You made it clear that seeing him again could be the second worst thing to happen to her—after a meteor suddenly falls and crashes on your favorite Mexican restaurant—but now you are calling him, not even a day after your last meeting? There must be something serious, and a bizarre worry immediately fills his head. “Y/N, what is it? What happened? Tell me.”

“I-I’m afraid I can’t tell you. But this is urgent, can you help me with this one? I promise I’ll pay the favor back, I swear.” 

Taehyung discards the light insulted feeling on how you mention you’ll pay him back like your life depends on it, and instead focuses on the urgency in your tone. You seem greatly rushed, worried and almost scared, and never would he ever imagine of saying no to that. “Of course, Y/N. What is it, I’ll try helping the best I can.”

“Can I ask where are you right now? I need to go somewhere really urgent, can you take me there?”

Taehyung looks warily around him. There’s only an old lady with her dogs just walking past him. He is quite far from the crowd. “I am in Han River now. Where are you? I can pick you up from there.”

“No need, I’m actually quite near. Can you send me your location?”

And that’s how Taehyung spends another 10 minutes, trying to make out your face amongst the people walking around him. While focusing on the people passing around, suddenly a cold hand slaps his shoulder and sends Taehyung on his toes, startled beyond words. “Fuck, Y/N! You can’t startle me like that!”

“I’m sorry, Taehyung.” You apologetically wince, holding the black duffle bag close to your chest. “I won’t startle you again. That if we ever meet again, which I don’t really hope to. Can we go now?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes at your warm words. “Just a thing everyone expects from the person who is just asking for help, right?”

You smile widely until your eyes turn into mooncreases, and Taehyung feels his throat stricken dry. “Let’s go, Taehyung. I’ll tell you the direction.”

And that’s how you are for the second time seated in Taehyung’s black Audi, with him smoothly driving it in accordance to your directions. You bite your lips in nerve, occasionally stealing a glance at Taehyung who is busy driving, looking around the streets with hesitation. Of course he would be, the direction you are giving must be unfamiliar for nearly everyone sane. “Hey. Can I ask you something?”

You don’t want Taehyung to question where you are heading right now—as he will instantly dump your ass on the street with no second question asked. “Yes?” You whisper faintly, crossing your fingers that it would be anything but that question.

“Can I turn on the music? Are you okay with that?”

The tense on your body crashes down with an exhale. “Of course. It’s your car, Taehyung, you can do anything with it.”

Taehyung snorts. “I am just being nice. I seriously think you might be a grinch for any kind of fun, the type to love creepy, dead silence while driving.”

“You are seriously a child.” You shake your head in disbelief, and Taehyung's lean forefinger taps the music button, connecting to his phone. “And god, you seriously got no other car, Taehyung? A less flashy one, I guess?”

Taehyung smiles proudly, patting the wheel with affection evident in his eyes. “No. Cecil is my baby, and I would never trade her for anything else.”

You groan at the foreign name. “Who the fuck is Cecil? God, don’t tell me you’re that creep who names dead stuff.”

“Hey! You don’t know how long and what kind of things Cecil has gone through with me.” Taehyung literally yells. He is one peculiar pea, but you are in no place to judge anyway. You are literally a nobody. “And you can’t tell me that, Cecil is the one who is helping your ass to wherever we are going right now.”

You decide not to prolong the abnormal debate you had with Taehyung, so you turn silent and point to the direction of your destination. When the car is heading to dark, narrower streets, Taehyung realizes they are already too far outside downtown, in a place where he knows he would never visit in any possible scenarios in his life ever. 

“Y/N, I know I am not supposed to ask anything, but this is getting creepy and I just need to know why the fuck are we in this creepy, suspicious place?” Taehyung hisses, noticing that everything is too dreadful to be true. He doesn’t even know this place to ever exist in Seoul—that’s if they are still in town. “Where are you taking me?! God, don’t tell me you are going to murder me, take Cecil with you and sell her away?! Please don’t do it, especially the last one!”

You sigh at his nonsense, frankly tired and majorly nervous since your destination is already near. You glance at the message displayed on your phone. He is already waiting. “God, Taehyung. We are just five minutes away, just drop me off anywhere and you can run off after.”

“What? No! What about you? How are you going home this late, and from this creepy ass place?!” Taehyung stares at you, and you can find a genuine worry in his eyes for your well being. God, you are speaking nonsense, since there is no way Taehyung can even have feelings for you other than lust, and that’s just fact.

“It’s okay, someone will take me home.” You doubtfully answer, wanting Taehyung to swallow your lies even if you are not so sure yourself. Somehow you doubt the man you are meeting now will have the heart to take you home after this. You can just grab a taxi or bus—if they are still available—after anyway, it should not be an issue, right? But even self pep talk does not change a thing, you are still scared beyond words. This neighborhood indeed terrifies you, especially at night. 

The car is now settled in front of the dark building that you identify as your destination. “Are you sure, Y/N?” Taehyung mindfully asks one more time with hesitation fills his gaze. At the persistence, you are slightly touched. “I don’t know what you are doing or who you are meeting there, I won’t ask. But I swear, I don’t mind waiting for you.”

You have a hard time believing—when was the last time someone cares for your safety like this? Life has been just a constant repetition of pushing anyone away from nearly half of the things going on with you, and to have someone you clearly is just using and still greatly show his concern is so strange. Maybe it’s time to admit that Taehyung is not just the heartless fuckboy you expect him to be. He may be more than that.

But no, you don’t need to involve him further inside the mess you are in, and he won’t be near long enough to stay so no need to get in such depth with him. And only god knows what would happen to an elegant, once in a lifetime seen black expensive Audi parked in this neighborhood. “Taehyung, no. I’ll get home safe, I swear.”

Taehyung does not want to push his agenda, even if he is still unable to turn off the alarms at the back of his head. “Sure, if that’s what you want. At the very least please let me know when you arrive, or if anything happens, okay?”

You nod, not really sure what to reply to his untypical concern. But then the annoying Taehyung is back as he mutters the next reply. “Or don’t. I just realized I left my charge somewhere and my battery is dying, probably not gonna see them till the next two days.”

“You are fucking annoying.” You spit with a sarcastic smile and Taehyung chuckles lightly, lightening up the mood. “See you, Tae. And thank you for taking me, I owe you one.”

You walk inside, finding Taehyung’s Audi is still parked there. Seeing how he vaguely gets caught inside your mess, and you feel apologetic. You huff, braving youself to knock on the door, then find a man that has been blowing up your message for a while now. He holds you close, taking you inside the house with odd affection. “Baby, who is that with a black, expensive car? Is that your new boyfriend?” 

You look at him, trying to keep your composure straight. You really do not want this despicable man in front of you to get any strange idea whatsoever about Taehyung. “He is not.” You adamantly hiss, pretending nonchalance. “He is here because you, somehow cannot pick me the fuck up. There is no uber or taxi that wants to get me here at this time of the night, and I swear to god you better get me home.”

That man pulls you closer, his lips closing on your side jaw and his arms circling your waist. All of a sudden, your resolve crumbles at his familiar touches. “I miss you, baby. And don’t worry about going home, you can stay the night here.”

His lips are swiftly grazing your sweet spot, right at your collarbone and you instinctively let out a moan of pleasure when he sucks on it like there is no tomorrow—to the point it will surely leave evident hickeys. God, he really knows you like the back of his hand and you have no idea whatsoever to do about it. Three years together is very evident now—he can read you effortlessly. 

“Stop it.. You know I’m staying at my parent’s tonight, I have to go home.” You let out a hushed whisper, a moan escapes your lips when his hands slowly stray from your shoulder, down to your waist and to the area that leaves you breathless. God, you are out of your mind for him.

“Fuck them. You know I really miss you, baby… I seriously need to be inside you right now. Don’t you miss me? Stay tonight.”

At his discourteous words at the mention of your parents, any illusion and lust at wanting to have in any way he wants dissolve into thin air. He is still the same old, disrespectful man that will never give a shit about you, especially your parents. But what exactly was the expectation you have for him? You are foolish to even think he will magically has understanding and common sense, since he is a monster.

But you are the one responsible for creating this monster…

The familiar guilt instantly fills your chest all at once, and it vividly constricts in pain. You push the black bag to his chest in a rush. “Here’s what you asked. I just did the best I can—don’t call me again. I have to go home.”

As you run to exit the building, you half-expect him to hold you back, apologize, or do anything that somehow might stop you from leaving into the unwelcoming, shady neighborhood, at nearly midnight, but nothing. The frustration that suffocates your chest is too much, and it is extremely hard to breathe. Your head spins with countless voices running inside your head, screaming incoherent words that somehow sends you into a great panic.

And you take a deep breath. Then the second. Then the third, trying to empty your mind from any intrusive thoughts that are doing you no good whatsoever. Right until you can finally close everything off, trying to pick your phone and get an uber—if it’s even possible. The reason you needed to get Taehyung help in the first place is that no uber or taxi would like to even come close to this place, and there’s thin to none chance you’ll ever get one. 

And you are correct, since it’s already five minutes in and there is no sign of your request ever finding a ride home tonight. You are in deep frustration for there is no hope whatsoever in getting back home. Your parents are away, but your grandma is home—you left your responsibility of taking care of her to meet that man. Your parents are going to kill you if they ever find out you are escaping home, especially to meet the man they hate the most in this whole world—the man who is greatly a bad influence on you, the man who made you hospitalized for months, the man who they recognize as your ex. 

But even with how far he is from ideal, he is still the same man who fought for you. The man who taught you love and sacrificed himself for you in no way anyone would. You don’t want to let him go—you are aware that he has strayed far, but he’ll come back soon. You held onto that for a long time, even with the faith you have on him is slightly dwindling. It’s been nearly three years since that accident, and you found that he is still the same, obnoxious man he was and even worse, yet you cannot let him go. Your conscience would never let you.

Feeling the remorse that is starting to overwhelm your senses, you notice there is literally waste in vain to think about that. You have to think for the present, how the fuck can you do to get home? Your parents might be home any time now, and they will never let the matter go until you are forced to confess that you are indeed, meeting your ex—the one person they loathe the most.

So you decide to run for your life to the nearest stop to take a bus or any available transportation, away from the shady neighborhood. You start with a fast stride, but you hear a sound of an engine booming behind you, slowly creeping on your side of the street. The red alarm on your head is loudly screaming. Someone is following you, and at once the worst memories of your life hits you like a truck. 

You abruptly fasten your pace, keep on running. But due to the nerves, your leg is close to giving up. You are exhausted beyond words, and the intrusive breakdown inside your head is not helping either. Just in five minutes you have no strength left and fall down on the pavements, your body trembling, tears crashing loudly as you hide your body inside your arms.

You never should have come to this place. You never should have come back to him. That time he loved you and cared so much about you was years ago, and he changed. He will no longer be there to rescue you. He doesn’t even give any shit about your safety. When will you ever be strong and stop whatever nonsense you are having for him?

“Hey, hey what happened, Y/N? Why are you crying?!” 

You are still bawling your eyes out like there is no tomorrow, your whole body trembling hard with both your legs secured on your chest. Someone is touching your arms, but you are too frightened by the imagination inside your head so you can do anything but to hold your legs even closer. “Please.. Please don’t hurt me..”

“Y/N, what are you—This is Taehyung. I have been calling you since you walked out, but you are not responding. Y/N, you are shaking so hard.. God, you’re scaring me. Please say something.”

After listening to the words that send you to a haze for having a hard time believing whatever it is, that man holds you close, his strong arms around your shoulder, his wide palm caressing your upper back slowly. “Take a breath, Y/N. You are panicking, but it’s okay. Take a deep breath. Everything is okay. I am here.”

At the constant calming ministration from Taehyung, along with his warm hug around your trembling, drenched with cold sweat body, you find the tense on your body is progressively decreasing to the point you can finally think and speak clearly without any more tears falling on the side of your cheek. You look up, finding Taehyung’s worried gaze seeking into yours.

“Why are you here, Tae? I thought you went back.”

Noticing how much you already get better from the panic attack, Taehyung can finally let go the breath he has been holding for quite a long time now. “I was about to, but—hey, I’ll tell you everything in the car. For now let’s go, you have been sitting on a pavement, who knows what germs you can catch from there.” Taehyung whispers with a vivid disgust on his tone. At that, you can finally smile. Albeit thin, Taehyung feels like he has achieved something remarkable. He quickly holds you up, arms secured around your waist to help you walk inside his car.

Taehyung opens the door for you, yet you are still hesitating to enter. “Get in, Y/N. I’ll take you home.”

“But.. your seat. What if my germs polluted your seat?” You are innocently concerned, and Taehyung can’t help but to chuckle. He did not expect such polite questions coming from you who just had a literal breakdown, yet he finds it endearing.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’ll be taking Cecil to car service tomorrow as well, so it’s no issue. Get in.” 

Dubiously you step your left foot inside, before you gasp in surprise that shocks Taehyung as well. “I have a scarf! Let me sit on that.”

Taehyung follows your vigor on going through the small bag hanging on your shoulder with his eyes. “Not really necessary, but whatever. I’d prefer your shirt though. Can you sit on it instead?”

You snort. “Pervert.” He responds with a smirk, skipping to the driver side.

After a good ten minute driving in silence, you open your voice, your fingers nervously fondling on the button of your purse. “Thank you for waiting. You are such a lifesaver, I-I seriously don’t know what I will do if you are not there.”

Taehyung nods, his right hand brushing through the expanse of his jaw and you intensely follow the swear-to-god attractive gesture. God, you cannot believe how someone can be that charming while driving, it’s seriously making no sense. You continue after clearing your throat. “What happened? Why didn’t you leave?”

He glances at you with tranquility, shrugging his shoulder. “I was about to leave, but I don’t know. The song I was listening to was good so I just decided to stay for a while, and then you walk out so I follow you. The end.”

Your eyes narrowed, staring at him intently. “That is a lie.”

“Maybe.”

“Then tell me what happened!”

He shrugs. “Nah.”

You look at him in obvious exasperation. “Taehyung, for god sake tell me what happened! What can possibly make you stay in this hellish neighborhood?”

Taehyung grins. “I don’t ask what happened with the hickey on your collarbone either, sweetheart. And It’s nothing, seriously. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

Your fingers instinctively land on your clavicle, feeling the strange pain emerging when so. Shamefully ducks your head in embarrassment, you throw your face to your side of the window. “You're annoying.”

“I’ve been called that a lot. By you, actually.”

“Then maybe you should stop being annoying.” You sarcastically grin.

He jokingly wriggles his sharp eyebrows. “That’s kind of my trademark, so I’m sorry I cannot fulfill the request, sweetheart.” You huff and decided not to continue the endless debate.

Another ten minutes filled with silence, until you break it with your still irritated tone. “Can we play my song now? The song you played before sucks.”

Taehyung murmurs an agreement, a thin smile finding his lips. You connect your phone, then finding the one song you always tune into. The song that reminds you of the good times when life is less than complicated.

“Is this Bee Gees?” Taehyung asks with an amused tone, nothing ever crosses his mind that you would be the type to tune to oldies songs for drive songs. 

“Yup. This is More Than a Woman.” You nod, then send a judgmental stare at him. “What? You think I am lame for listening to old songs? Yeah, no surprise there.”

He smiles heartily, finding this new side of you that is unforeseen yet very delightful. “No, I actually like this song too. My father used to sing this song when I was a kid. The whole album, actually. I even have the vinyl cd in my room.”

Seeing that Taehyung is indeed earnest, opening up a little about his life, you find yourself smiling at your own great memory as well. “Me too. My grandfather used to sing this song to my grandmother, uhm.. before he passed away.. a few years ago. I would always listen to this song and then I would always be reminded about how much love they have for me.” 

You don’t even know why you are explaining such an intimate story of your life to a fuckboy whom you barely know. But now, it’s hard to even think Taehyung is the jackass everyone and even himself proclaimed. He is just a man—a friend, who helps you when you need him the most, who doesn’t pry and understand the space you need better than anyone else. You are grateful he is there, and to say these personal things to him.

Taehyung smiles at you and you can’t help but to reciprocate. His fingers tapping rhythmically on the wheel along to the beat, humming along with you to the wonderful music inside his car.

Here in your arms I found my paradise

My only chance for happiness

And if I lose you now I think I would die

Oh say you'll always be my baby, we can make it shine

We can take forever, just a minute at a time

*

“I don’t know where my keys are!”

Yup, you are a certified, sloppy idiot. You have been standing on your house gate for exactly fifteen minutes, trying to find where the fuck did you place your keys. You are trying to search your short lived memory where you placed them, but the only thing you remember before going to Han River to meet Taehyung is how rushed and panicked you are, trying to find excuses for your grandmother.

And Taehyung stood besides you, helping you to hold the flashlight so you can make anything inside your ransacked purse. “I can’t find it!” You hiss worriedly, glancing at your watch. “I don’t think my parents are home yet, and my grandmother should be asleep by now. I will just sneak in.”

“This is dangerous! Someone might catch you and think we are thieves, Y/N, I don’t think it's a good idea, especially at this time.” Taehyung advises, his tone full of worry. You look to him scornfully, accepting that he is indeed right. There are cctvs being installed on every corner of the street, and you don’t think it would be pretty to be caught and perceived as a thief while climbing your own house. Your parents will figure out either way, and to be told by your neighborhood security that their daughter is climbing inside with a ‘help’ of a man would be the last thing you want to happen.

“I do not know what I have to do.” You mutter, hiding your face inside your palms, cursing your forgetful self internally. Now you have to wait for your parents, confessing that you indeed get out at nearly midnight. And they will chastise you to know where you have been, immediately accusing you for meeting your ex—which in fact is indeed the truth. You are screwed.

“Hey, we can wait for your parents then. We’ll think of a way, no worry, Y/N.” Taehyung said carefully, noticing your forlorn gesture with hands resting on your shoulder. You look at him with a frown and reddened face.

“It’s okay if you have to leave. You have been a great help, Taehyung. I seriously do not know what would happen if it weren’t for you.” You mutter in regret, then he answers by sternly shaking his head, clicking his tongue.

“Hey, I might be a dick but I am certainly not to that extent to leave a girl on the street nearing dawn.”

“I can protect myself, if that’s what you are worried about.”

Taehyung chuckles, keeping his hands inside his pocket. “I am well aware that you can kick my ass to ditch, Y/N. But my conscience just won’t let me.”

Before you can persuade him again to go back home, the familiar creaking sound of your front door is heard and you throw your head back inside, detecting your grandmother, peering outside to the sound of her granddaughter.

“Grandma! You are not asleep?!” You nearly yell, but then realize that it is already so late for any loud noises and manage to lower your volume. “It’s past midnight, you should be asleep! I told you to sleep first and not wait for me.”

“Huh, this girl! How can I sleep when I know you are still wandering out there, at this late of night.” Your grandma hisses, walking with her cane to the gate. “Why didn't you come in? Where are your keys?”

The frown on your lips deepen. “I lost them, grandma…”

Your grandma hiss in distaste, before realizing that his granddaughter is not alone. While opening the gate, her tone changes as she questions the man beside you “Who is this? Is this your friend?”

You just remembered that Taehyung is still present, now both his hands politely joined and a civil, yet timid smile on his lips. You look back at your grandma, strongly warning you with her intimidating gaze to introduce him right away. “Y-yes! Grandma, This is Taehyung. Tae, this is my grandma.”

“Good evening, grandma. I’m sorry we arrived so late tonight, I can assure you it will not happen again.” Taehyung apologizes with heavy sincerity and a bow. You are mildly confused by his never-seen-before politeness, especially to your family. Of course it will not happen again, Taehyung would easily walk out of your life after the constant problem you put him in. But still, it brings such a strange emotion to your heart on how good-mannered he is to your grandmother—and you kind of have a slight hint of why.

“Kids these days, seriously.” Your grandma shakes her head, but still motions both of you to enter the house. “Come in, then. You two.”

“Taehyung can’t stay, grandma! He has to go back, it’s been a long night.” You try to reason in panic, but your grandmother’s slap on your shoulder to enter the house quickly resonates that she is not open for negotiation. There is no other way than to follow her order, so you begrudgingly leave the scene, with an apologetic smile on your face to Taehyung’s way. You seriously owe him nearly everything—you swear you will do anything to repay him.

“You really have to go back, Taehyung? I want to talk to you, though. I promise it won’t take long.” Your grandmother intimidatingly offers, and Taehyung gulps in overwhelming nerves. It is probably the first time for a while since he met someone’s close relative—he even hardly met his own—and your grandma is too intimidating; he doesn’t even remember the word no. 

“Let’s talk, then.” Your grandma smiles, waving off the cold persona right after taking in his acceptance. She rests her hand on Taehyung's arm to lead him inside the house. “Have you eaten? We have some extra food. I also made Darjeeling tea, it’s good for you young people. I know you will like it.” Taehyung smiles with a nod, his head slightly spins and an aloof thought invades his head, all regarding his precious platinum rule. 

Never ever meet a girl’s relatives under any, any circumstance ever.

God, this is not good.

*

It’s already past 1am, and an hour after you safely arrived inside your house. Upstairs, you wanted to help Taehyung dealing with your pesky grandmother, but she refused you to come down and mentioned that she wanted to talk to him only. You know what that means—another drama coming your way. You seriously cannot stress how much you owe Taehyung, he has been nothing but kind and helpful today. You wanted to eavesdrop on their conversation, but your body is too tired to even deal with even more drama. You just need to set your grandmother straight that Taehyung is just a friend, right in the morning. Your parents don’t have to know as well, and everything can go as well as before.

But even with your nearly numb body, your consciousness is wide awake and you cannot sleep. So after a short while and hearing the soft engine of Taehyung’s car far in the distance, you dial his number. Hopefully it still has power—you remember Taehyung mentioned how near dead it was. 

Right after two beeps he thankfully picks up. “Hi, Taehyung. You went home already?”

“Yup.” He emphasizes on the p.

You wince at his distant answer. “Are you mad at me? I apologize, I am nothing but a hassle today, you must regret helping me.”

Then his lighthearted chuckle is heard, and the tense on your body instinctively loosen up. “It’s okay. Not gonna lie, today is quite overwhelming. But I think in a weird, twisted way I needed that. A distraction, I mean.”

“Well, at least you are entertained by my lackluster life.” You joke, and both of you cackle. You cannot fathom your feeling right now, hearing his breathy voice on the other side of the call. You know you have been through a lot today, but somehow finally closing it with Taehyung, you feel somewhat relieved. “Did grandma say anything weird?”

“No, we just drank her god-sent Darjeeling tea. I seriously think I need to order it myself. Gonna search for it online after this. Ah, she also said I am handsome.”

You smile heartily, flipping to the other side of your bed. What a lie. “I sure can vouch for that. You are indeed handsome.”

Taehyung loudly gasps, cheeks tingling upon your unpredictable sincere compliment. “What—did you injure your head or what? Are you finally admitting that, Y/N? Never thought I’d hear it from you.”

You catch yourself slipping, slapping your mouth. “Yup, I think I injured my head. But no worry, pretty boys like you are dime a dozen. I’ll find you anywhere.” You nervously snort, internally disagreeing to your own words. There is something about Taehyung’s charming ways that always keep you on the edge, and you have never found it in anyone else.

“That’s more like you.” He hums. “Go to sleep, Y/N. It’s been a long night, you deserve it.”

You hum lowly while closing your eyes, feeling the sudden sleepiness embraces you. “Okay. Thank you so much for today, Taehyung. I owe you one, okay? See you soon.”

Taehyung finally closes the call, a thin smile reaching his lips. Seriously, he doesn’t know how he can go through everything in the span of 24 hours, the thing with Mina, meeting you and breaking all his platinum rules for a girl he thought he wouldn’t see a second time. A statement from your grandmother suddenly passes through his head and Taehyung shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

She is a strong girl, but she is fragile right now, and in need for someone to believe in.

Someone to believe in? That's most absolutely not him. Frankly, he is the absolute far on the other side from someone to believe in. He doesn’t even believe in himself, how could your grandmother say that to him? Does he seriously look like someone to believe?

But when Taehyung rewinds what your grandmother explained, along with the panic attack you had just a few hours ago—he finds it peculiarly identical to himself. In a way, both of you are scarred. Life takes a huge toll on you, and he can understand what you were feeling. Living with a deep scar itself is scary, but now that he knows that he is not alone—there is someone, deeply affected about something alike, he doesn’t feel so alone anymore. All these times he always feels like he needs someone, that he is a burden to someone, but it feels reassuring to be the one lending a hand for someone else’s misery. 

Among the silence and his busy thoughts, the phone rings. Taehyung is quick to answer and the call resonates on his car. “Yes. I need car service. Some idiot bastards just scratched Cecil, it’s pretty bad. They scratched it with knives I think—i don’t really know. You can pick her up on my usual. Thanks.”

*

It has been a week since you last saw Taehyung that eventful night, and even with how desperate you are to text him again, you find yourself hesitating while typing the words. What if he thought you are looking deeper into everything? You are just a mere girl he fucked before, and it is as clear as a day that Taehyung dislikes and avoids any form of attachment—and even though you are not even offering anything other than trying to pay all his kindness back, you are still unsure.

Since that night, one thing that you know is your grandmother loves Taehyung—she can’t stop talking about him and asking where he is ever since that night. Both of your parents are aware as well, they are a bit hysterical at first at the unannounced appearance of a boy close to you—you know how wary they are ever since your last boyfriend, but after hearing how great he is from your grandmother slash the best personality judge to ever exist, your parents easily approve. Could also be to the fact that they are quite amazed by such a young man using a luxury Audi car—yes, your parents are primitives like that.

But another thing you notice is how over-jubilant they are at the sudden appearance of Taehyung, more than you expect. You know how much they have been stressing over the fact that you might still be in contact with your ex—which you still are, but they are better off not knowing—but you didn’t know it would go to that extent. They can finally joke about you finally being in ‘young’ love, which is also total nonsense. 

The worst thing is that your mother even called you and cried one night, telling that she is relieved that you finally can find someone else instead of coming back to your previous toxic relationship with your ex—oh, how can you let her know? At that time, you feel guilty beyond words. There is literally nothing going on between you and Taehyung—you even doubt if you can label whatever going on between you as friendship, it all could be just a charity work on his part, but you don’t have the heart to say so to her. Hence you just nod, promising that you would try asking him the dinner your mother asked for.

And now it’s all more confusing since you don’t know how to approach the matter. There is no way in hell Taehyung would ever agree meeting your parents—and the case itself is helpless. But your parents are very happy now, and to have it knocked away for a lie would greatly affect them in a bad way. Especially starting today, you moved out from your shared apartment back to your parents home. You love your independence, but you desperately need the money, especially since the extra side job of writing columns pays now needs to be shared with your parents as well due to your father's condition that enforces him to do his routine dialysis. The insurance helps, but it still costs massive on the pocket so you are more than willing to help them.

So you are seated now, waiting for your class to start. Your fingers tapping on the keyboard to draft a message that will be sent to Taehyung. It has been twenty agonizing minutes, and by every word typed and erased, you feel jittery. To the point you are finally too tired and give up, slamming your phone on the table and running your fingers through your hair in distress.

The sudden ring of your phone comes into your senses, and you are expecting nothing but then seeing the message, it effectively fastens the pound in your chest and you literally think you will cry. It's literally godsend, actually—how can he come through at the time you need him the most is beyond you.

From : Taehyung

Hi, just wanna ask if that ‘thank you so much for today, Taehyung. I owe you one, okay? See you soon’ thing is true or just bogus since i did not get any message since last week

You smile wholeheartedly, right from ear to ear at his witty message. So you swiftly type in another response, which may or may not contain a bit of a lie but Taehyung is better off not knowing how much you think of him in the past week.

To : Taehyung

Hi, sorry the bitch you are contacting is busy with packing her things to move back home. Can she meet you later this afternoon for lunch?

You don’t even have to wait for another long minute as his reply came almost immediately.

From : Taehyung 

Sure! But she better be paying cause Taehyung is sloppy and forgot to bring his wallet! 😉

You chuckle lightly, typing the cafe name located near college, following another message.

To : Taehyung

Such slop. But no worries, she would gladly pay! Since she should finish the class quite early, she's going to wait for you in the near park, so find her there, okay?

From : Taehyung

Don’t know until when we are going to address ourselves in third perspective but I am all for it. See you soon, beautiful! xx

You roll your eyes at his flirty text. Fuckboys and their annoying suave talks, yet inside, you are unable to hold your lips from smiling—to the point that your ex-roommate had to question how suspiciously vibrant you are today, especially during the worst class to date. You respond with a shake on your head, still with the same foolish smile plastered on your lips that is too eerie to be true for her.

Right after it’s finished, you run to exit the class—more because you need to avoid the question from your best friend on where you are heading, since you are meeting her boyfriend’s best friend you said you hated. It also seems like Taehyung is also inconvenient to let Jungkook know about your rendezvous, so you decide to keep this for yourselves first.

The weather on your way to the cafe is amazing, the afternoon breeze is lukewarm, the sun is adequately shining, conveniently settling on the skin. When you arrive, you take a seat on the nearest bench, heaving a deep breath and close your eyes. You clearly feel happy, contributed due to the weight from thinking about Taehyung and your parents slightly lifted off your shoulder. At least now you are on a talking basis with him. That’s a progress.

But as it always has been, something just had to ruin your temporary happiness. He is there, seated right beside you. Noticing the weight press on the other side of the bench, you look up, and finding your past lover, Jisung.

“Jisung!” You gasp in shock, your heart nearly falls out of your chest. He is here, in your college, right beside you. “What are you doing here?!”

He smiles, his fingers raised to your ear, settling a few stranded hairs behind your ears. The affectionate gesture suddenly throws you off your horse, as the sudden confusion does bring unwanted memories of your past with him. “I just wanted to see you baby. How you are doing, right now. I see you went home safely that midnight, quite shocking I would say.”

At his unpleasant words, you swat his hands away, facing him with a cold, hardened stare. “You are a jerk, you know that? You let me go home all by myself, in your own dangerous neighborhood when I went there to give you what you need. You are seriously the worst.” Muttering your sentence, you feel a tidal wave of anger and sadness crushes you in. 

“Hey, I don’t mean it like that, babe. You also get to go home with your hotshot fling as well, so you can thank me, right?” He sarcastically responds, and you feel repulsed at his words mentioning Taehyung—who in high chance must have brushed his annoying male ego. Jisung scoots to your side, his arms holding you close. But you felt nothing but disgust.

“Don’t be like that, baby. You know I miss you. No matter how far you are searching for someone better, or richer, I will be the only one who understands you and your body, babe.”

You are silent, neither accepting or rejecting his advances. You feel numb, you feel used, yet you don’t do anything to push him away. It’s like whenever he is near, you feel the urge to fix him. He was the victim—and so were you. Yet he was the one that was and still is greatly affected by the wrongdoings of other people. So you still believe that the good Jisung you love is there, somewhere inside this man you barely even know.

Jisung was your boyfriend, two years ago in high school. He was a humble, smart scholarship boy that loved to play soccer. You were just a simple girl who loved to write about everything on your blog, especially lenient towards politics and policy. One simple day after a busy semester—due to your social science project team that always sends you on heated debate with him, Jisung somehow confessed. He told you he always liked you, the way your eyes crinkle while writing, the way you scoff during debate, and especially the way you smile for everyone but him—it was a surprising yet sweet confession, but against all odds you accepted it since you did adore him, even with the debates and nonsensical statements coming out of his mouth. That’s how you started a blooming, new relationship with him.

Six month passed, and you could proudly say that you were indeed in love with him. He was sweet, albeit dumb sometimes, he is the kindest person to ever exist and you loved it for him. Everything was great, but as most things, it all finally went downhill—when a transfer student is registered at your class. His father was the right hand of the president at that time. Few weeks in, you realize that he put too much attention on you. You tried to ignore it, but the contact was getting intense so you set him straight that you did not like him and you had a boyfriend. But being a golden spoon kid since he was born, he never learned rejection. 

One Friday evening, when you had just finished your assignment in the library and were about to meet your boyfriend to head home together, that transfer kid pulled you away and kidnapped you to the back of the school. He was angry at your rejection, and forced you to do the things you never wanted to do with anyone, and you loudly screamed for help. The enormous school was nearing empty due to the weekend, and no one could hear you. You were nearly losing hope, too weak to do anything but cry, then your boyfriend found you. He was going to check up on you since you already took a long time, but seeing the unbelievable scene, he instantly sent a hard punch to the bastard, right on the face. But not even a punch or two suffice, Jisung punched him to pulp until he passed out, with you shivering and crying loudly on the side. 

Then a few days later, everyone finds out about the issue, and somehow the media caught it as well, the president’s right hand son is hospitalized due to a school fight. But one thing that did not sit right was that everything in the story is twisted to transfer kids' benefit. He was hospitalized, so the school and media immediately sided on him, telling that he was injured by a rebellious kid in school and disregarding the real cause of the matter. You tried hard to explain to your headmaster, everyone that might believe you, but there was no evidence and you were the girlfriend—you were trusted not to be objective. So Jisung was expelled from school, and his scholarship was taken away from him. His strict parents did not believe him even a bit and kicked him out of the house. Jisung’s life hit rock bottom. 

You were heartbroken and guilty beyond words. Jisung had his life crumbling down in a moment, all because of you, because he helped you and defended your honor. You owed him everything, and you knew how hard it was for him. Jisung refused to see you, and when you tried talking to him about it, he harshly broke up with you, crying and shouting while implicitly blaming you for how his life turned out. You also cried that evening, and you begged him not to and promised you would do everything in your power to help him.

But no matter how hard you begged him to stay, he still went missing for a few months and you cried nearly everyday. It was killing you, to the point you didn’t even want to go to school anymore. You hated everyone—you hated how unfair life was for him, someone you loved so much. And frankly, you missed Jisung, you miss your ex-boyfriend and would do anything to have him back. There’s never a day you forget sending him a message, apologizing and begging him to come back. 

And he did come back to see you, exactly four months after. But at that time, he already changed. He was no longer the sweet, affectionate Jisung you loved and remembered—he was someone else. He joined and lived with a rebellious gang downtown. As predicted, he did not continue his studies, and god knows what conniving things he was doing to get money on a daily basis. When he came back and professed his love for you, you were hesitant. He was no longer your Jisung, but the complete opposite. But the next day he called you, crying about how life was becoming too hard and wanted to take his own life. That was also the time you’d do anything for him to stop, and agreed to get back with him. And thus began the most horrifying part of your life, one you never even want to remember.

“Baby, don’t you miss me?” He whispers to your ear, noticing your distant stare and silence. But you pushed him away, realizing how improper that you are still in the university area. “I missed you so much. No one can ever suffice your beautiful body against mine, babe.”

“Stop it, Jisung. I am not your sex slave, the one you can do anything against my will.” You hiss, pushing him away with a hardened stare filled with hatred and disgust. “I gave you the money you want. What do you want more from me?”

“I need more, of course.” He grinned, running his fingers on your lips. “Money is hard nowadays, babe. I notice that you got yourself a new, rich fling now. Get some of that hard cash and give it to me, will you?”

You stand up, peering against  in disgust, but you were saddened beyond words—tears pooling on the side of your eyes. “You are the worst human being. I am not giving you anything more, especially when you are going to spend it on gambling and sluts.” 

He pulled you back down, nails stabbing your skin until you are sure it will bleed. Your heart pounds too loud until it echoes in your ear. “Listen here, you bitch. Do you know who caused me like this? It’s you. You ruined my life, and you have to take responsibility for it.”

He lets go of your hand and leaves you trembling and your breath irregular. Dizziness suddenly enters your head, and you never feel alone to that extent you want to puke to the exhausting feeling. You hold your legs closer to your chest, hiding your face inside to shout all the frustration bubbling up in your chest, as loud as you can.

“Y/N, why are you— What did he do?!”

It’s Taehyung, you are well aware it is him. A sudden recognition of the promised lunch you have with him passed through your head and you take a few deep breaths and try to shove the matter far away from your mind. You look up to him with a forced smile, wiping away your tears with the back of your sleeve. “Taehyung, how long have you been here? Sorry, I didn’t—”

“I was here before you even came. I was on the other side of the park, and noticed you were talking to some guy. I did not want to interrupt and left for a while, and I came and you are already crying. What the fuck happened, Y/N?” Taehyung asks in deep frustration on his eyes, his palm cupping your face to look up to him. “Who was he? Was he—the one you were meeting a week ago?”

You are not answering, still looking faraway to nothingness and Taehyung hiss in agitation. “Y/N, I am no longer taking this lightly. This—this is bad. Please, tell me about this.” When you are still silent, Taehyung looks at you somberly, pleading for you to look back at him. “Y/N. I am your friend. Please, please let me help you.”

And then you break down into loud sobs, finding purchase in his arms around you. You never felt so sad before—all the bad memories from your past coming back to you, throwing you back into a state of panic. But as Taehyung soothes your back in a calming manner, listening to your incoherent words, you can gradually breathe. “I am sorry. I am such a mess.” You whisper to him, and let go of the hug. “I don’t think I can tell you without you being disgusted at who I really am. I am not the girl you thought I was, Tae. I am way worse.”

Taehyung looks up at you with a serene smile, wiping the tears away from your cheek. “Y/N, I am telling this because I know you will not prematurely judge, but I kissed a married woman last week. There’s no way you can top that.”

Your eyes are wide in shock at that, and Taehyung smiles at your reaction. Regardless of being scared that you will assume anything without him getting to explain, he is just glad he can be truthful to someone, especially when it is you. “I don’t know if you would really listen to my boring story. But it has been bothering my mind for quite sometimes now. Can I drop that on you?”

You nod and smile at his effort trying to take your minds off things and feel better. Not that you dislike it—it does succeed. “Of course. But not if we have to sit here, starving. Do you want to get in?”

He smiles, squeezing your shoulder and lead you inside the cafe. “If you are paying, then yes. If not, let’s go back to my frat and ask that shithead Jungkook to pay instead.”

*

After approximately four hours talking about each other and dirty looks thrown by the waitress at your prolonged stay inside, you moved places from the cafe to Han River, the exact spot you met him before—Taehyung said this was a place for him whenever he is sad and needs some time to think. Did you understand him better. He was a child of divorce, he is living with his father in Seoul and his mother is remarried and staying in London. The last time he met his father was six months ago.  At that time he said that he missed his grandmother a lot, he lived with her all through childhood but after she passed away, he was mostly taken care of by nannies. That’s why meeting your grandmother was a remedy or it’s kind—he was reminded of the fond memories with his own grandmother.

Taehyung also told you about the married woman he mentioned previously, and you felt sad for him. It must not have been easy, someone who does not really believe in love to have feelings for someone he can never have. But in a way, he believe there is a silver lining to meeting her—and in a way, you are amazed by how mature he was throughout everything. Yes, Taehyung may have scarred himself and the people around him, and done many things wrong as well, but to be able to live and act the way he did really brings him to a whole new light.

So when you told him with bright, tearful eyes about how much you are proud of what he did, it could be one of the moments Taehyung never thought he would cry in front of someone else but did. It was hard, like always feeling like he did everything wrong—but you are here, right in front of him, giving him the word he needed the most. He is glad that he was able to talk it out to someone, and that someone being you.

And when you are seated inside his car, looking out to the beautiful light posts alongside the Han River, you know it was your turn to open up and you did. You told him about everything, leaving no details about your past with Jisung. Even when you are just two sentences in, you are already crying, but it was inevitable. Taehyung holds your hands, his eyes filled with understanding. “Hey, hey. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

But you shake your head, smiling up to him and squeezing his hand back. “No-I need to tell you this. I want to tell you this. I think one of the main problems is that I always keep this from everyone—especially my friends. I would love it for you to know.”

Then you continue about your past experience. About how Jisung helped you against a bastard who was able to turn everyone to his side in the end. How Jisung left and put the blame on you. And in the end, you find yourself not being able to continue, but Taehyung kept you close, hugging you as he pecked the top of your head. “I loved him—I really did. I thought I did. It was all my fault—”

“Y/N, It’s not your fault. At the beginning, you both are just victims but after that, he was nothing but a manipulative asshole who used you for his own benefits.” Taehyung feels his heart clenched at the thoughts of your past with him—how you were held captive and forced to keep up to whatever vile activities he was doing with his gang. “Y/N, you got to stop going out with this guy. He did not even love you anymore—he is just using you…”

You know it, your sanity always told you that, but the moment Taehyung said it, it’s just.. disheartening. “I know, Tae. But—what if? What if the accident did not happen? What if we were not together? He could be living the best life right now, attending the best university in the country, meeting someone else better, helping his family's economy…”

Taehyung caresses your head, his low whispers awakening your senses. “Y/N, we cannot include what if scenario in this, you know it. Yes, there is a possibility that it should have gone better, but there is also a worse scenario too, right? And to be frank, all of the choices were on him. He could have done something better with his life, yet he was the one who chose hanging out with those bad guys, not you. So please stop hurting and blaming yourself now.”

You nod, resting your head inside his chest, crying every suffocating tears to your limit. “I wanted to. I wanted to stop, Tae. But I can’t, he will always come back.”

“Y/N, it might hurt but I think you should go to the police.” He advises, and you let go, looking up to him in shock. “It is just a suggestion, don’t hate me. I do think it is for the better. Your parents even forbid you to do so, and you were even hospitalized and depressed because of him. Now he always wants something from you, blackmailing you.. He does nothing but damage to you.”

Inside, this delusional part of you wanted to defend Jisung and all your own past doings, but you know you are not making any sense and Taehyung is right. But throwing Jisung inside jail? The thought even scares you. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

Taehyung scoff in disbelief at your clear disdain of his suggestion. “Wait.. Do you—do you possibly still have feelings for this bastard?”

At that statement, you look away from his proding eyes. Do you? You are not even sure about that. Yes, Jisung could be the worst, most toxic people that caused nothing good to you, but you cannot lie that you always find yourself finding the goodness inside him, always reacting to his touches and sweet talks—it’s involuntary. You are an idiot that somehow still likes him… “I.. I don't know.”

“This is crazy.” Taehyung whispers, more to himself. He doesn’t even know how you haven’t thrown this bastard inside jail—and it is somehow because you still have feelings for him. “This is overly altruistic and borderline masochist, Y/N.”

“I… I know. Can we please drop it? I-I don’t want to talk about it for now.”

Taehyung realizes that he has been insensitively judgmental of you, and he winces and reaches out for your hand. “I am sorry. You are one of the strongest, greatest women I have ever known, and...  And I guess it’s sad to know that you have been through this and.. It’s nothing. I apologize.”

You look up to him and nod, looking up to him with a warm smile. “That’s okay, I can see where you are coming from. It’s a surprise as well, as I never thought you would be the great  listener type and give kickass advice too, Tae. You are a very great friend, do you know it?”

He cheekily smiles, shooting you a wink. “I’ve been told so. By myself, I mean.”

“I think we should drop the depressing, real talk.” You chuckle, and so does he. “I am glad we did it, but let's refrain from it for the time being. I am fucking drained now, and hungry.”

“Me too! I am starving. Do you want to grab something on the way home?” Taehyung looks around in vision, trying to move his car. You did not even realize the disappointment in the pit of your stomach at the mention of going home—your parents and grandma are the reason, but majorly due to the thought of the day is about to come to an end. It’s just ten pm, and you really, really had a pleasant time with Taehyung. “We can grab takeouts too, if you have to go home now. Or even we can go directly home and—”

He was nervous, and you cannot help but to smile of reassurance. “It’s okay. I’m thinking of McDonald’s. You in?”

He coos loudly with fake tears. “You know what, Y/N? You just get me.”

The way to McDonald’s, your mind is suddenly caught on the fact that your family is assuming Taehyung as your boyfriend. “Hi, Tae. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, sweetheart.” He responds lightly, without noticing what the nickname does to you, focusing on the street in front of him, and you cannot hold the blush blooming on your cheek. You were thankful that it was already dark, or you would have let him catch you slipping for the nth time today. “Anything you want to know?”

“Yes. So…. get this.” You start with vivid nerves, looking down to your lap timidly. “My grandma really, really likes you. I don’t know what happened, or how can you hypnotist her since all she can talk about now is you. I think she even forgot I am the granddaughter sometimes.” Taehyung chuckles widely, showing the creases on the corner of his eyes and it is so infectious you can’t hold a smile either, the tense on your shoulder slightly loosening. “And since she could not shut up about you, my parents are aware too. About you, I mean.”

Taehyung looks at you, a hint of surprise on his face. “Uhm, really? Wow, never thought it would be that big of a deal.”

“It is. I didn’t tell you this, but I have never introduced any friends, especially male ones to family ever since Jisung happened…” You mutter, volume getting smaller by each word. “So, it was a big deal for them. And my family can be presumptuous sometimes.. And…” You hold your breath, your mind conflicted whether you should tell him or not because you are sure Taehyung would reject you straight away and harshly. You know it well, but your heart is pained at the imagination of Taehyung telling you to fuck off with your silly proposition. So you take a drastic turn and hold back your request. “I...No. It’s nothing.”

Taehyung looks at you in worry. “Hey, you can tell me anything. It’s okay.”

You look up to him with a pout. “Can you promise me you won’t be mean?”

“What are you—of course I won’t, Y/N.” He giggles, giving your hand a light squeeze that nearly takes your breath away. “You can tell me everything.”

“Okay, here goes.” You whisper, trying to muster the leftover courage. “So, my parents and grandma kinda can’t stop talking about you... thinking you are my boyfriend. I never brought anyone after Jisung and… they just thought it was a big deal.”  You look straight ahead, still afraid to find whether there is disgust on Taehyung’s face.

“So?” Taehyung asks neutrally. “It’s fine. You can just tell them the truth.. that we’re not dating?” There was an edge on his response, and you are certain he is not getting anything out of your desperate sentence.

“But I don't think I want to drop that on them.” You continue breathily, biting your lower lips in hesitation. “They are going through some tough times right now, with my father's sickness and all—the news about me dating an averagely decent man with no crime history list could probably be the only good thing going for them. They’d be disappointed to learn that we are just friends.”

“Well, they don’t know who I am yet—what if I am a mafia man with a kick ass car that I bought with money from bank robbery?”

You look up to him, rolling your eyes but trying to display your best puppy face to date. “You left a great impression on them… Can we at least pretend we are dating? For just a few weeks, and it’s nothing big, I swear. You still can do your hookups, whatever okay to you. I could just tell we broke up in the next month or whenever convenient.”

Taehyung looks at you in hesitation, a little bit unsure. “I know—but are you sure? All rom-coms never ended well for that fake relationship bullshit.”

“Surprise on you watching lots of rom coms aside, I know we’ll be fine. All those cliche bullshit always ends in anyone falling in love, but that’s not us, right…?” The second you say those things, a literal large, blazing red exclamation point on the side of the street. You are hoping it is not a bad omen. “Please say yes. I know this is a big thing and I owe you a lot already, Taehyung. But I swear this is the last time. I would do anything for you to say yes.”

Fake dating you? He did not know how to do that, especially since he has to talk to your parents whatsoever—even the thought scares him as he never got along with his own either. What if he messes up and everything goes down in ashes? Taehyung literally was about to reject, when your last sentence caught his attention, shown by his raised left eyebrows. “Anything?”

You scorn, sending a look at him in disgust. “Are you seriously asking sex out of the deal right now, Taehyung?”

“No! Of course not. That is unnecessary. You know I can have sex with you with your greatest consent and you’d be begging for it.” The cocky jackass dares to wink, and you hate how partly right he is with that. Well, maybe not just partly. “So, not that. Okay, I will agree to your proposition. I have something in mind.”

You nod, rubbing your palms together. “Okay. Lay it on me.”

“I want you to stop seeing that guy—Jisung, I mean..” You were expecting a lot of things, but not that. Especially not that. Hence the look of disbelief displayed in your face, eyes open like saucers. “ It’s for your own good, Y/N. There is no good coming out of hanging out with that guy. I know it’s not easy—I won’t force you all at once. So by the end of our fake relationship, I want you to completely stop everything. If he still insists on seeing you, or anything harmful to you, you put a 50 meters restriction on him, throw him into a jail or anything. You have to stop seeing this guy.”

You look at his challenging gaze, and seeing his expression you know his mind is already made. There are no other options besides take it or leave it. “But you are doing it for me. Don’t you want to ask anything? Other than that?”

He firmly shakes his head. “Nope. That alone would be a very great satisfaction on my part.”

“Serious? You don’t want anything else?” You ask one more time. “Just making sure you are getting the best out of this deal, since it won’t happen ever again.”

“Yup. And maybe if you insist, you can bring me breakfast or lunch too. That would be convenient since I tend to forget them.” He is joking, but you nod in all sincerity. You know how much you really need to do this, your parents have been struggling a lot—more or less you take a huge role in that, so at least you want to repay them even with a smooth, hopefully foolproof lie. “Your grandma must be a good cook; I tasted it a bit before and it’s heavenly. Maybe you can pack some of her dishes for me too.”

You nod. “She is. So… This means you in?”

Taehyung nods, with evident doubt still painted across his face. “Maybe. What does this exactly entail?”

“The regular, 1980 primitive relationships? No ass grabbing, no any mention of sexual things, no funny business. This needs to be very, very likable to my parents. You need to show you are the committed type that can only love one person and one person only, fall in love hard or that type of romcom bullshit.”

“Wow, so you are asking me to be the exact opposite of me, then. Did you just roast me, Y/N?” You giggle and nod—Taehyung might be a jerk but he is not a fool. Seeing your mischievous expression, he pinches your cheek with a scrunched lips. “I see. So no ass grabbing, no mention of sexual things and funny business—it’s only when your parents are around, right?”

It’s now your turn to glare. “I’m kidding. I’ll wait until you ask it yourself.” He winks, and you roll your eyes. Same old, fuckboy Taehyung. Will he be able to pull the act off is beyond you. “Anything else? Should I take you from home everyday, or domestic bullshit like that too?”

“Not really, but maybe once or twice per week? We can grab food on the way home if you want to. And Friday or Saturday nights too—but only if you don’t have any party to attend. If you have no worries, i’ll just make up some lies.”

“It’s okay. I’ll take you out on those days.” He nonchalantly nods, like he just did not imply about giving up his parties and fuckboy activities for you. It is quite a surprise—you expect him to immediately refuse everything involving those holy days, and it sends an anonymous feeling right through your heart. 

“Beside, it will be just a month right? I’ll be okay missing a party or two.”

You clear your throat, looking down in faint disappointment. What were you thinking, seriously? Did you somehow expect him to sacrifice that much to mere, old you? He is a saint to even want to spend his friday night eating junk food with you rather than partying with those porcelain pretty girls on his side. “Sure.”

Another ten minutes spent just enjoying the silence with other Bee Gees songs playing in the background, and Taehyung breaks the silence. “So, if in case I refuse this. What would you do then?”

You purse your lips in contemplation since you haven’t even thought that far. What if Taehyung refuses? “I don’t know, haven’t thought that far. Ask Hoseok, maybe? He is polite, nice, cute too. My parents would be impressed.”

Taehyung snorts, a hint of dislike palpable across his beautiful features at your mention of his frat buddy, the one you acquainted to. “Wow. Just a few minutes into this fake relationship and you are already comparing your fake boyfriend to someone else. What a nice fake girlfriend you are.”

You fold your arms in front of your chest in irritation. “Hey, I just say what I think is right! You cannot lie that Hoseok indeed looks fine and cute, he is well-mannered too. And the fuck, why are you so self-centered? I am not saying it to make you jealous, you—” 

At your last sentence words, Taehyung suddenly hits break, abruptly stopping his Cecil from moving; your head almost strikes the dashboard if it weren’t for his arms holding you still. You are about to curse him, right before you can see the dangerous, cocky smirk formed on his lips, then the alarm inside your head goes off, all words are dead on your tongue. 

“A little bit you should know about your fake boyfriend, Y/N. I am very, very territorial. A word of advice? Never test it for yourself.”

*

So come the first day your plan of faking your relationship in front of your family. It is Monday morning, both you and Taehyung have an 8am class. Regardless of the inconvenient of waking up, it is simultaneously the perfect time to fake those lovey dovey teeth-rotting routines in front of your parents and quickly excuse yourself with attending an early class as a reason. So that’s how you force yourself up a half an hour earlier than usual—since you always woke up at 7.30 for an 8 am class—put an effort to present yourself better. You know your mother wakes up early every morning, so you purposefully blow your hair with your loud ass hair dryer to invite her in and ask why the hell are slobs like you doing up so loud at 6am in the morning.

“Nothing, Taehyung is actually picking me up this morning, so I just.. I just want to prepare early.” You fake a shy smile, and that’s how your irritated mother goes 180 degree changes and help you decide on what you should wear—a blue sundress that sits on your knees, along with a matching navy dress shoes, which is kinda unlike you—who the fuck masochist enough to wear makeup and dress for an 8am Monday class?

And you are fidgeting on your dining room seat now, counting the seconds for Taehyung to appear and finally take you out from this hell hole called your house—your mother can’t stop gushing about you being picked up by your handsome new boyfriend. He should be here anytime now, is it possible that he bails on you the second he really needs to execute the plan?

Few minutes go by and you are this close to leaving by yourself, and the familiar car engine sound is heard and you instinctively look out the window. It’s Cecil—god, you are even addressing Taehyung’s dead stuff with names too now—parked in front of your lawn, you can hardly believe it really is him. You swiftly stand up, hearts pounding a bit with your mind turning hazy. You are seriously going to do this—you are faking a relationship with Taehyung. The Kim Taehyung. You are seriously fucked.

“It’s your boyfriend! Invite him in for breakfast, Y/N!” Your mother giggles, and you answer with a wholehearted shake of head, internally cringing of the image. You are a genius for thinking every possible risk beforehand.

“No, mom. We have an 8am. I packed lunch too, we are going to eat it later, it’s okay.” You answer her hastily, securing your bag on your shoulder before walking out to open the gate for him. You can feel the cold sweat perspiring—there is no doubt your relatives are now scrutinizing every movement of your being. At the thought of being caught, you can’t even breathe normally, too wasteful of the air around you.

Yet when you open the gate and see Taehyung on the other side, smiling warmly at you, your heart literally skips a beat. You cannot believe it is really him, wearing a flannel shirt and black jeans, a bucket of purple rose on his hand. His black gleaming hair is neatly styled sideways, displaying a hint of his forehead. He simply looks… breathtaking. Is it really him, standing in front of you right now? Are you hallucinating?

“Good morning. You look beautiful today.” He greets with a compliment you never thought you will ever hear coming from him—or anyone the first thing in the morning, along with a charming smile that somehow brighten your vision.

“Thank.. you? And good morning to you too..” You whisper breathlessly, still in haze of the fact that he is here, standing in front of you.

“I brought you flowers.” He says, handing over the flowers to you. You receive it with vivid hesitation, looking down in shock while he continues, still with the same smile. “Should I hug you now?”

“W-what?”

But before you can even respond, Taehyung quickly holds you by the waist, pulling you close inside his arm, resting his chin on your shoulder. Your head is literally spinning—the warmth radiating from his body resulting in a strange emotion, but it was gone before you can even realize. “Let’s greet your parents, and then we can go? Are you okay with that?”

Still in a daze, you are only able to muster a nod as an answer. Taehyung just now, this is not the Taehyung you remember—the despicable fuckboy that doesn’t give a shit about anything and anyone, and is always looking only for short fun and severely allergic to any sort of attachment. And those eyes looking out for you and those acts he put up, you don’t know it’s just you or there is literally something so deep about it. Like he is not doing this just for charity and help you—but because somehow he really wants to. Are you that delusional?

So after saying goodbye to your parents still with not much words coming out from you—Taehyung mostly does the small talks and excuses for the both of you, you are now seated inside his car. “Hey. Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” He suddenly asks, gazing intently at you with mild concern on his face. “I mean.. you are kinda silent. Is there—“

You are quick to rebut. “Nothing! Nothing’s wrong, I am just.. shocked. That’s all.”

He raised his left eyebrow. “Why?”

“I mean—I mostly did not expect you’d be this dedicated. You wear flannels, jeans, style your hair nicely when I know the most decent thing you wore could be your celine overpriced shirt and loose trousers. You even bought flowers! How can I not be shocked?” You nearly yell in defense, and Taehyung smiles at your amusing reaction.

“What can I say? I am a very, very dedicated person in whatever I do.” He cockily responds, and you scoff. 

“Pssh—Tell that to your studies.” 

He gasps in shock at your insult. “I get results! And I don’t wanna brag, but I literally watched three rom coms yesterday just to get into character. You have to applaud me for my effort.”

You peer at him—like all the changes he did isn’t weird enough. “Why?”

“Just because. This is the stepping stone of my acting gigs, I might offer fake boyfriend service after this. I really need to buy those McDonalds nuggets again.” You sigh, remembering a few days ago when Taehyung tasted your nuggets—not an euphemism—for the first time and literally ordered another five portions just for himself. Well, not like he can’t easily buy shares of McDonalds if he wants to.

Five minutes in silence, before Taehyung carefully brushes your arm with his own, somehow affectionately. “Regardless of this being faked whatsoever, I really do think you look beautiful today. You always look beautiful—but that dress outstandingly looks good on you.” He breathily compliments with a shy smile. You literally were expecting that flirty, mischievous eyes glint your way, so you can disregard it easily with Taehyung being a horny dog, but all you can detect from him is sincerity and you are silenced. It was like he wasn’t complimenting you just because of anything, other than his own will. And you do not know how to reply—you are not mentally prepared for that kind of sincere reaction coming from that renowned fuckboy.

“All jokes aside—I really think we pulled it off.” He giggles in delight. “You got nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I positively think they are charmed.”

A little voice inside you tells you that your parents are not the only one charmed, but you forcefully bury the thoughts away, throwing your gaze outside the window.

*

Few days passed without a hitch, and you can proudly proclaim everything went smoothly. Taehyung did offer to pick you up every morning, but it did not even make sense with your different schedules and the fact that he literally lives inside the university area with his frat. During those five days, you could easily reason with your parents about Taehyung’s whereabouts, saying he is busy but you explain that you meet him everyday for lunch. You are not fully lying though—you always deliver the food you promised, but whenever you do, you give it in a secluded area, and quickly leave as not to be catched by anyone. 

It’s not that Taehyung really asks to keep it under the table—but you just assume that it would be really awkward for the both of you if you were to be caught by someone. You know how fast the news would travel, saying that your college resident's most favorite fuckboy—especially after Jeon Jungkook's retirement—has a complicated relationship with a very plain girl such as you. It would be a shame for him, and you don’t really need another reminder about how undeserving you are to par with him.

Friday night it is, and you have been held hostage since afternoon until now, exactly 11pm by the team task paper you will be submitting Monday, along with Jinyoung who is your teammate and shares the class with you. Library closes at 6pm, so both of you continue on it, working alongside on the desk outside the library. Regardless of the short time knowing each other, you are glad to be partnered up with him—he is very thoughtful, smart, kind and easy to talk to. You are most definitely not complaining.

“We did it. I can’t believe we did it.” You whispers, faking sobs about how glad you are while typing soundly the last paragraph on your paper. Jinyoung chuckles, having a deep breath of gladness that everything has finally come to an end. It was clear that he has something on his mind—could probably due to the fact that his phone has been blowing up for the hundredth time already just in a span of an hour. You are surprised he even stayed this long—his part is already completed two hours ago yet he still insists that the call is nothing important, and he’d be okay helping you with the part you completely need help on, no matter how many times you ask him you’d be doing fine on your own.

Your phone suddenly rings, signaling an incoming message, so you check it with a quick glance. It was from Taehyung—but then you roll your eyes and continue whatever you were doing with no further thoughts whatsoever.

From : Taehyung

Hey, where are you? Come to the frat house, we are having a party babe xx

“So, where are you heading to? It’s Friday night, are you going out? Or to a party?” You nonchalantly ask, closing your laptop while gathering your things. He nods, typing something on his phone and gives you a short smile.

“Yup. My girlfriend has been asking for awhile.” He says like it’s nothing, and your jaw nearly drops. It’s his girlfriend, calling him like there’s no tomorrow? And he just ignored her for the sake of doing a task with you? Talk about dedication to education—but you suddenly feel the overwhelming guilt.  It’s not like you can’t do it tomorrow, but you are a perfectionist and just prefer anything to be completed asap before your over-glorified weekend. 

“You should’ve told me! I would be totally okay if you left first, there is no biggie. Besides, there is still time tomorrow to do it.” You desperately explain where you are coming. Jinyoung is kind, but it was unnecessary. “Now I feel guilty.”

“It’s no biggies! I do agree with you, I don’t want to hold it until yesterday. I also have something important I have to do.” Jinyoung assures, but you still feel not good about taking his Friday night out with the girlfriend for your silly ambition. “I.. I kinda have something in my mind. I know we just met—but do you wanna hear me out?”

You easily agree, and Jinyoung vigorously reaches out for something inside his pocket, and shows a red velveteen, small rectangular box. The gasp was inevitable—never in a million years would you ever guess it would be that. “Is.. is this an engagement ring?”

“Yes! Yes. I am going to propose to my girlfriend tomorrow.” He says, eyes sparkling with excitement and nerves. Seeing how sincere he is brought a lump in your throat. “I know it is early—everyone tells me I’m too young and whatever. But I’ve been with her since we were in middle school, and I just don’t think I want to be with anyone else. I am not usually that naive, courageous person to begin with, but I have never been more sure about anything like this.” He whispers, an evident edge is heard on his last word. “I.. I just want you to give me another perspective. Or not—if you are uncomfortable, but I just.. I am just curious. What do you think?”

“Wow. That’s a lot to process.” You whisper with a nervous chuckle. You don’t even know what you are thinking—too much is happening inside your mind and you have a hard time to process and make out something of it. “I think it’s amazing. And you know this girl for a longtime now, it’s a very beautiful thing and… I think you should go for it.” 

“Really? You think so?” Jinyoung asks, kind of not believing his own hearing. “You are actually the first one to support me. Not even my parents do.”

“I think the world has been too skeptical of love.” You whisper, the lump is getting evident and it is hard to even speak. “I know that there may be a hundred case of failed relationships out there—and people tend to assume everything will follow those majority cases. Even those pessimistic minds could even lead to more failure, you know? There’s nothing good that comes out with anyone tends to overthink so many things.” 

“But anyone still cannot deny the fact that there are two happy relationships that go against those hundreds. The chance might be small, but there still is. And if those years together makes you willing to put everything on the line and take the chance, I think you should propose..” One thing that you are sure of is that each word said you are no longer talking to Jinyoung, but yourself. It is to address your recent trait, about how sceptical you have been about having a real, sincere relationship with someone and always settle for less or good enough.

Well it's true. You heard and experienced these people around you, all the struggles, ruined relationships, especially the obnoxious men you had relationships with, have made you greatly cryptic of ever finding a love that lasts. You never thought it would be that hard to face one cold truth—maybe it’s you that really needs to start finding it with the ones that have the chance to have that with you. Instead of spending it for someone that only is looking for short fun, using you only for your body and leaving the moment he’s had enough.

“Thank you for that.” He mutters, the eyes filled with emotions yet his face lightens after hearing your encouraging words. “Exactly what I need to hear.”

Both of you are now standing on the busy street. “You wanna go home? Let me take you back.” Jinyoung kindly offers, and you couldn’t even hold back the snicker.

“It’s okay. Your soon-to-be wife is waiting.” You mum with a wide smile, even with a hint of sadness that you cannot suppress. You reach out to squeeze him in a short hug. “Good luck, Jinyoung. Wishing the best for you and her.”

After saying goodbye, you walk in the opposite directions of him, wandering with no exact destination. You don’t know what exactly happened to your lively mood, now completely blue and somber. What is it that makes you feel like you are now at the lowest point of your life? Is it possible that you just realized how far you have strayed from the person you wish to be, and now you are desperate to do something and rearrange your life back to the way it should be?

It’s quite depressing to know that there is the ideal life you have been planning and craving for a long time now, but one day you wake up and find you are heading the complete opposite direction and already strayed too far.

Your phone is ringing again, and you can just know it is Taehyung on the other side. He could be the last person you want to see now, but you are desperate to just answer and make him stop. You are most definitely not in the mood to talk with his annoying, pesky ass.

“Taehyung—”

“Y/N, where are you?! I asked your mother since you are not replying and she told me you haven’t come back home.” He shouts in discernible concern and worry with a faint music beat heard in the background—he must be still at the party, since 12am is still too early for these people to head back home, on the way of bad drunken state to the point of throwing up on the streets. If that so, why would he still be contacting you now ever since hours ago? If you are an idiot, you would let yourself believe he really is worried about you. And since when is he on talking basis with your mother? “Why are you not answering, Y/N?! Are you—”

“No, I am not.” You answer tiredly, knowing precisely that he is referring to Jisung’s place. You don’t want to debate him, all you want at the moment to be is alone and cry to your heart content. “I am just.. here. I am going home now, no worries.”

A good minute of silence. “Ah, you’re going home. Okay, good.” He still hesitates. “Text me when you are home.”

“I will. Bye, Taehyung.” 

You are about to press the red button on your phone when the booming voice of him is heard. “No! Wait. This party is boring, I wanna leave. Let me take you home.”

“Taehyung, I am in no way in the mood of dealing with your shit right now.” You curtly sigh, massaging your temple in distress. This persistent boy is surely a pain in the ass. “Talk to me tomorrow.”

Taehyung suddenly lowers his voice to the point of whispering, could probably detect how out of the character you are right now. “Hey, are you okay, sweetheart? You sound sad.”

You are about to say you’re okay, but your head is too heavy with emotions and even lying about being okay stress you out. “I am not. I am not fucking okay. I could arguably be at the worst point of my life. So can you leave me alone?”

“I know where you are. Stay there, I am coming.”

You don’t even know why, or how, or when Taehyung is coming, yet you obliged to his request. Because you don’t know what else to do, or where to go, and even believing in his almost unbelievable request seems appealing to you right now. All because you want to know if he’ll come through or not. That’s how you settle on sitting in front of a closed ice cream shop, holding your legs closer to your chest, your mind wandering to the things you can’t even point out.

Yet against all odds, in just ten minutes of waiting you can detect the black Audi stopping on the side of the street, with Taehyung walking out of it and on your way. You quickly stand up, erasing the remnants of tears on both your sticky cheeks before Taehyung crushes to you, engulfing you inside his arms. His palms caressing the top of your hair, nose buried in your hair, all for you can somehow feel better.

“Why are you sad, Y/N? Something bad happened?” He questions slowly and carefully.

“Yup. Life happened.” You nod, your finger hesitantly intending to reciprocate his hug but you refrain to doing so. There is no good in doing that anymore, especially now. “Everything just.. sucks.”

Taehyung giggles breathily at your sentence, ironically finding mirth in your words. His two thumbs at the either side of your eyes, wiping the leftover tears. “Isn’t that my daily thoughts. Let me take you home, and we can talk on the way?”

On the way to his car, Taehyung securely places his arm around you, squeezing you close to his side before opening the door for you. And before the car is about to move, he ensures your seat belt is strapped and secured well, while all you can do is to stare at him, wondering what the hell is he thinking for doing all these way-over-affectionate acts to you with no surveillance of your parents. 

The words that are directed to ask about the fuck did he mean with all these things are already in the tip of your tongue, but you decide against it. It would be very awkward and presumptuous for you to assume that someone who is literally allergic to relationships is doing that because he has certain feelings for you. Or maybe because you are too scared to find out and get hurt in the end.

“How did you know I’m here?” You question aloofly and he smile.

“Besides being a genius with such great sense? Yup, I heard the ice cream shop advertisement songs when I called you.” He proudly sing-songs like it’s his proudest achievement. You snort, realizing that you indeed a dumb.

“So, what did you do before? I thought you had something to work on.” He casually asks while stealing glances at you, noting your deep silence. “Did you finish your paper?”

“Yeah.” You simply nod, trying to focus on anything else other than looking sideways, to him. “You? Got bored at the party? No girls interesting enough to fuck tonight?”

Taehyung hums in grief, and the coldness washing over your heart is greatly detectable. “Yup. The drink is so-so, the music is boring, the people are boring. You’d start thinking that this party is just too repetitive, you know?” You think you sincerely wished the bitterness on your tone were undetectable, but the fact that Taehyung is utterly insensitive by your sarcastic question bothers you a lot. God, you are such a mess. “So, now that your paper is done, are you busy? We can talk. Or go somewhere else you’d like?”

You look at him, finding the flirty, mischievous smile plastered on his face, but it only adds the feeling of nausea inside your chest. “Do you know Jinyoung? I think he is from engineering too.”

Taehyung nods, a tad bit surprised at your sudden change of topic, yet you continue. “He is my task mate for this paper. And wow… I am really amazed at him.”

“Amazed? Why?”

“So he told me he will propose to his girlfriend tomorrow.” You explain, trying to sound nonchalant. “It’s just amazing, I think. How can someone be sure to marry someone else at such an early age, that he will stay true to just one person and one person only for the rest of his life?”

“What—Seriously? There is still people as naive as that?” Taehyung snickers, and you could feel your heart drop at his vivid disdain at the mention of serious relationship. “Come on, it's the 21st century. People really think anyone can be chained into a monogamous relationship for the rest of their lives? Grow up.”

“He has been in a relationship with her since middle school.”

Taehyung’s eyes are wide as saucers. “And still wanna go through with that? I can see why you said it’s amazing, Y/N.”

“I think alike too.” You curtly sneer, folding your arm on your chest. “He asked me what I thought about it and I encouraged him to go ahead and propose. And do you wanna know why I am sad? Because I’m jealous, Taehyung. Along the way, I have turned too skeptical of love and started losing faith that I’ll have someone like that too. Too tired of actually thinking about who I should date and instead settle for undeserving men. I hate it.”

“Y/N, trust me. I know how men think, especially all these boys. It’s easy to think you can tie them up into a relationship, but it’s like.. a timer, waiting to blow off.” Taehyung stubbornly explains like love is a disease—just the way you expect him to. “It’s like you are waiting for the heartbreak. Please don’t be naive like that.”

“So what if I try and I fail?” The frustration is clear in your tone, irritated that Taehyung exactly sounds like a parent telling their kid Santa doesn’t exist. “That doesn’t mean I’m naive. At least I’m a step closer to finding sincere love, not like you fuckboys that are allergic to have a mutual love and respectful relationship.”

“Y/N, when you are a child of divorce, it is hard to believe that love does exist.” Taehyung intently stares at you, before letting go the breath he has been holding. “It’s not entirely impossible, I know there are some happy marriages too. But how can you guarantee you’re that lucky 1% with the compassionate, dreamy, lovey dovey monogamous relationship you have been worshipping about? It’s unrealistic—and doesn’t make sense.”

“But how can I know if I don’t try?!” You ruffle your hair in frustration, face reddening in anger. “I’d rather try and fail rather than not do anything at all. But you know what? I have no one to blame but myself. I am the one thinking that I might find love in college, filled with pubescent fuckboys. You are right, Taehyung. I should have known in the first place. I have to avoid you—exactly boys like you.”

Taehyung reaches out to you with his right hand, sadness and panic coloring his face. “Hey—hey. I am sorry, Y/N. Please, please don’t be like this. I overstepped it, I know. I—you’ll find it. You’ll love someone that truly loves you too. Don’t be like this, okay? I am sorry.”

Realizing that you have not replied since the fight occurred few minutes ago, Taehyung stops his car on the side of the street, just a few metres from your house. He is now facing you, holding your hand while brushing it against his thumb in regret.

“I am sorry. I was wrong, it... it wasn’t my place to be judgmental about your life choices.” Taehyung is quick to apologize, his large eyes showing nothing but genuineness. “I am just.. Sad. I am sad. You know why Y/N?”

You still are not looking at him, but he continues, even with constricted throat. He is too desperate. “Because I care about you. Seeing you cry, it’s like seeing myself too. I feel awful whenever I see you cry, I think even worse than my own. And the thought of someone breaking your heart? I don’t want to imagine that.” Taehyung whispers, shifting you to face him, eyes locking with a splash of anguish while your heart pounds fast until you can hear it echoes in your ear. 

“I have opened myself to you more than anyone else, and I’d like to think you do likewise. I am comfortable talking to you, and for you to talk to me as well. And to imagine that you have someone else that you will go to whenever you are happy, or sad, or in need of a mere hug—it’s just… it’s making me feel lonely and sad.” The smile on his lips is now painted with a hint of sadness, eyes looking down to his lap. 

“These few weeks with you.. I feel good. I finally, finally feel good about myself, like I’m not alone again. You make me kind of want to protect myself instead of hurting it. That’s a first.” Taehyung shyly chuckles, scratching his nape. Your eyebrows crinkled. What does he mean by that? He likes you, but only as a friend? Do you even want to find out and voluntarily get hurt?

“I just… Can I be selfish, Y/N? At least until you find someone deserving of all your love and attention?”

Instead of answering, you shut him with softly embracing his lips with your own. It doesn’t even need a mere second for Taehyung to respond, his arms are swift in supporting you by the waist, both your arms are secured around his neck. His lips are warm, fluff, and taste just the way you remember—like honey or great whiskey. The kiss is slow paced, nothing like your previous sexual encounters when both of you are just desperate to reach the ultimate peak, but now? You feel how much he savors every second, trying to make you as comfortable as ever with his gesture. As few seconds go by, his tongue has softly embraces yours, until you are left breathless. You softly tug his hair as he moans to the kiss, drunk with the taste of you.

At that time, you despise thinking. You despise the fact that you feel likewise. Too desperate to have him against you, to hold him close, to feel his lips, and you despise hearing the alarm screaming at the back of your head at how dangerous it is—you simply don’t want to stop. Yes, it is as easy as flipping over a hand to know that against every odd, you like him. You like Taehyung, the renowned fuckboy. And you don’t know when, or why. Maybe that one time he waited for you with no certainty and hugged you when you were having a breakdown. Or that time he listened to your story attentively and gave you an encouraging pat on the back. Or that time he picked you up, held you close, gave you flowers and kindly interacted with your parents. Or maybe all of it. You don’t know.

But then a scary realization enters you. You are just about to do it again—the thing you swear you will avoid with all you might. You settle for less. You are about to settle for Taehyung, this amazing, wonderful man who cares about you more deeply than anyone else, but will never go down that road with you. He doesn’t believe in relationships, he will never settle down and label himself for anyone. And this kiss you are sharing with him? Or the hook-ups you might just be this close of doing? That is literally driving you further inside this anonymous yet strong feeling you have for him. It’s doing you harm, and you desperately need to stop

That’s how you forcefully detach yourself for him, giving a thin, forced smile and mutter your goodbye whilst exiting his car. You quickly run to your house without even once looking back, closing the gate behind you while desperately looking up to avoid the tears from raining down on your cheek.

Yes, at least you tried, and now you know. It’s not Taehyung—it will never be him.

===================

You are correct, there is a second part to this that i’ll hopefully post soon! I really hope you like it, and please leave a message in comment and ask box, it would help a lot! thank you for reading, lovelies~

UPDATED : The Platinum Rules (Finale) : Click Here!

[moolovesyou]

Crush Culture | JJ Maybank

Request: Hey i really really love your write it's so good,can i request a imagine with jj please? like they are friends since kids and start catching feelings for each other and all this tension between then

Author’s Note: this was fun. i hope i you like it :D thank you for requesting!! 

Genre/Type: Fluff

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 1,629

  “JJ GET THE FUCK OFF ME!” I tried to sound angry but failed when I laughed. I couldn’t breathe. JJ was tickling my sides and I couldn’t take it. I snorted loudly, which caused him to stop. He fell back laughing at the noise I let out. I pouted crossing my arms over my chest.

“You’re mean...” I shoved my face into a pillow, trying to hide my flushed face. 

“Nooooo, don’t hide.” He flipped me over, but I still held the pillow to my face. “It was adorable.” I could hear the smirk in his voice. My face reddened even more.

“JJ! Come out here and help me mow the grass. I can barely walk around here without grass poking at my ankles...” Pope complained. JJ groaned, mimicking Pope.

“I’ll be back for you.” He deepened his voice, causing both of us to giggle. Once I heard the door close, I took the pillow off my face. 

Recently, I’ve been feeling different about JJ. And I’ve known him since the womb basically. We used to play in the same park everyday when we were younger. Then it turned to constant play dates. And then going to the same school. We were inseparable. He was very protective of me.

                                               <+++>

I skipped over to the swings, where JJ was going to meet me. It was a Saturday so we always go out to play. I was rocking back and forth before I was shoved off the swing.

“Ow! JJ that was mean...” I rubbed my scraped knee, my lip quivering. I looked up and noticed it wasn’t JJ. It was one of the mean rich kids, Rafe or something...

“Your little boyfriend isn’t here.” He mocked me. Two of his friends snickered behind him. “This is our park, go back to your bust in the cut.”

I stood up abruptly, walking away with my head down. I felt a hand grab mine. I looked behind me and saw the familiar blue-eyed boy I knew. His face was red. He gripped onto my hand and pulled me back to the swing set.

“Hey Rafe, you can’t tell us what to do! I can go into whatever park I want around here.” JJ hissed. The other kids laughed. I rolled my eyes at them.

“I’ll get my dad to kick your butt outta here.” Rafe shot back. JJ let go of my hand, his fist clenching. Instead of punching him, he pushed Rafe down to the ground.

“Yeah, go and run off to your daddy.” 

Rafe stood back up, his face fuming. He was as angry as much as a 9-year-old could be. He looked back at his friends. The three of them all leaned down grabbing some pebbles and rocks from the ground. They launched the rocks at us. JJ ran over to me, grabbing my hand and running away. We laughed, hearing the kids grumbling in the back.

“Did you see the look on his face!” I snickered, heaving from running. JJ snorted. 

“I love messing with that idiot.” He boasted. His face dropped when he looked at my knee. “You’re bleeding! Come on, we need to go get you fixed up. I’ll also need to kiss it to make sure it won’t hurt.” He pecked my knee, looking back up at me with a determined look.

I nodded. “It worked!” I hugged him tightly. He smiled widely.

                                                     <+++>

We used to be able to hug and kiss each other on the cheek without thinking twice about it. Now, it had a weird tension. He’d hug me and linger for more than before. I’d kiss his cheek and they would flush with a peachy color. Kie would even tease me about it, but I wouldn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what was happening between us. 

I heard a ruckus outside, so I got up and went out. John B and Kie were throwing stuff at each other and cackling. I saw Pope mowing on the east side of the lawn. Then I looked over and saw JJ. My breath hitched. I had to lean on the door frame.

His hair was hanging over his face. His eyebrows were furrowed deep in concentration. His hands gripped the handle of the lawnmower tightly. The veins on his biceps popped out. My eyes trailed down to his abs. Am I drooling? It was like he was perfectly sculpted. I felt a coil in my chest springing. 

“Hellooooo? Earth to Y/N?” I heard JB’s voice tease me. Kie was waving her hand in my face. I moaned on accident, making my eyes widen. I buried my face in my hands.

“What is going on with me...?” 

“I can’t help but think you have a little crush on our JJ” Kie poked fun at me. I scoffed.

“Before you defend yourself, maybe you don’t believe you have a crush on him. Maybe you don’t wanna admit it.” John B pointed at me, an eyebrow raised at me. I stuck my tongue out at them.

“Yeah, you guys can dream it.” I flipped them off. 

“What are we talking about?” JJ walked over, wiping his sweat down with a towel. I looked down to avert my eyes from the godly sight in front of me.

“Well, Y/N-”

“THE ROYAL MERCHANT! We should definitely go back tomorrow morning to find it...We could be lucky this time.”

“I’ll go, I got nothing else to do anyways.” He rubbed his hands together menacingly. 

“Greeeat...”

“Well, I can’t go I have to help my dad at The Wreck.” Kie shrugged.

“Yeah, and I have to work out a problem with foster care y’know..” John B added. Oh, I see what they’re doing. These little shits.

“I think I can go-” Pope began, but both Kie and John B glared at him. His mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape and then smiled. “I can’t. I just remembered I have to help my dad clean up.”

“It’s just you and me, sweetheart.” JJ wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I laughed nervously.

This is gonna be awful...

                                                     <+++>

“I cannot do this, I can’t. ABORT THE FUCKING MISSION!” I hid under my blanket, fully dressed. Kie had woken me up for my ‘date’ with JJ. No one said it was a date! Now I was surrounded by everyone except for him, he was probably waiting down at the dock for me.

The blanket was ripped off of me, and I was met with determined eyes. “Come on, hurry up. Your man is waiting!”

“Oh, shut up!” I stood up reluctantly. I was pushed over to the front door. I turned around to look at my friends for one last time before they slammed the door in my face. “Traitors!”

“Good luck!” They yelled simultaneously. I huffed. 

Walking over to my bike, I hopped on and reluctantly pedaled to the dock. I could make out the figure of JJ standing there. He was looking down, toying with his fingers. I smiled instinctively, my heart tightening. 

“Hey blondie!” I teased. His head snapped up and he grinned. I got off my bike and dropped it. He ran over to me and hugged me tightly. I could smell the scent of cologne on him. “Did you put cologne on?”

“No? Yeah- Maybe.” He sniffed himself quickly. JJ cleared his throat and jumped into the boat. I was about to go in but he stopped me. He held his hand out for me. “M’lady...”

“Wow...such a gentleman.” I put a hand to my chest, acting shocked. He smirked at me. JJ started the engine. He steered the boat farther into the water. Far enough no one could hear us but close enough we wouldn’t get lost. He dropped the anchor down under. “So are we really gonna try to find it or do you just wanna catch some fish?”

“You know me so well.” He pat my head. I scrunched my nose at him. He started to look around for the rods but his face dropped. “Fuck, they’re not here...”

“That’s great. We’re gonna sit here and do nothing now.” I complained. 

“Am I that boring?” JJ put a pained look on his face. I nodded a yes. “Oh, really? Even though every time you’re with me you have that adorable smile on your face? And any time I say something you let out that cute little laugh of yours, sometimes a snort too? It seems like you have a lot of fun with me. I can see the way you look at me, Y/N...”

I was in shock at what he just said but I tried to play it off. “And how do I look at you?” I smirked at him. Our faces were close, his breath fanning over my lips.

“Like I’m the only thing in the world.”

“How cocky of you...”

“And I look at you the same way, babe.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. I looked into his eyes, but he was looking at something else. His eyes flickered to my lips and back to my eyes. The both of us leaned forward, connecting our lips. It was the release I never knew I needed. I pushed into it more, grabbing locks of his hair with my fingers. He put his hands on my waist, tightening his grip. I squealed at the pressure. We pulled back, breathing heavily.

“That was...”I panted. “I needed that.”

“Me too.” He drummed his finger on my hips. “Now there’s only one more thing to ask...”

I grinned. “And what’s that?”

“Would you, I don’t know, wanna be my girlfriend?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” I kissed him again on the lips.

“So, is that a yes?” He mumbled against my lips. 

Tagging some lovelies: @thatboogiebro​ @anxietyismyspiritanimal​

[idnek83]

ok so i have a long standing trans souda headcanon that i think about daily i know i’m late but i feel like i have to do this still, i just think about him being like a year into his transition, open about it if he’s really close with someone like just about the only person that knows at first is hajime and he only found out beacuse souda needed help with his t shots because he gets too freaked out to do them himself sometimes, and i just think about how he’d come out because it makes me feel better about the idea of coming out, so here’s how i think it’s go down :) he would do it so casually, like so casually you don’t even think anyhting of it he’s just makes a joke about it and eveyone would be like haha weird joke bro and he just assumes they know after that but here’s the thing they don’t, because it wasn’t at all obvious so like a whole year passes and he keeps making jokes and people are starting to think it’s weird and than one day he isn’t in class and like sonia and gundham want to know what happened but the only person that knows where he went is hajime who just says he’s getting surgery and they both literally think he has a terminal illness or he like had an accident when fixing up cars so they demand to know if he’s ok and hajime is like i was gonna go check on him tomorrow if you want you can come so they do, still thinking he like almsot died and than they go visit him and he’s kinda off his ass on pain meds and they ask what happens and he very proudly tells them “i got my titties cut off” and that’s when the finally piece it all togther :)

Oof relatable. I tried to do the ‘casually come out about my sexuality through jokes’ thing with one of my friend groups and... pretty much this lol. I thought they knew, but they didn’t catch on to shit for almost a year lol (Wow, I’m just realizing one guy knew before hand too, and didn’t say shit to anyone else. Anon, you pulled this situation right out of my life? Just with gender instead? How?).

Moving on lol.

Soda literally makes jokes about being trans all the time, but it usually just goes over people’s heads, or they’re just like ‘haha, that cis guy sure did make a funny trans joke. Anyways-’ lol (A few people probably at least kind of catch on, but no one says anything)

And I’m trying to think of good set ups for him to make jokes, but this is literally the only one I can think of:

Mondo is having bike troubles and shows up to Soda’s on campus garage to get it looked at. Soda’s just kind of chilling, tinkering with stuff and chatting with Hajime, so he’s happy to look at Mondo’s bike right away. He asks him if he knows what’s wrong and Mondo’s like ‘pretty sure its the transmission.’ Hajime rolls his eyes cus he knows what’s coming and Soda just smirks and is like “Then fixing your transmission is my trans mission!” and starts laughing. Hajime is choking in the corner and dying, because that joke was just too bad, and Mondo’s just standing there like ‘??? Does that mean you’ll fix it? What are you guys laughing at?’ lol

Hajime knew Soda was trans for a good chunk of time before he started T, so Soda calls him up the first time he’s trying to give himself a shot and is just like “Hajime, I need you to come over and stab me.” Hajime has no idea what he’s talking about but he’s just like “Cool.” and shows up at Soda’s dorm like 5 minutes later lol. He’s used to Soda being over dramatic, so when he shows up he’s expecting to hear about some dumb shit Soda did, thinking ‘stab me’ was Soda’s way of saying ‘end me for being cringe’ lol. When Soda shows him the needle and explains what’s going on, Hajime’s just like “Wow, I didn’t think I’d actually get to stab you” and Soda’s like “Wait, what do you mean ‘get to’? Hajime? HAJIME, PUT DOWN THE NEEDLE!” lol (Hajime is very careful about giving him the shot, he just had to fuck with him first lol)

By the time Soda’s top surgery date rolls around, he’s kind of gotten over the whole simping for Sonia thing, and they’re starting to actually become friends. He’s also been spending a lot more time with Gundham, since he’s one of Sonia’s best friends. He’s been dropping hints that he’s into Gundham, but they’ve been going about as well as the hints that he’s trans lol (Although Gundham has definitely been flirting with him a little too, Soda just doesn’t realize cus he’s hopeless lol).

He probably actually announces that he won’t be in class for a while, but it’s like after a really confusing lesson so when he’s like ‘cool, see you guys in a week, I’ll be in the hospital recovering if you need me.’ they think he’s just making a joke about how hard the lesson was lol.

The next day, everyone’s a little confused when he actually doesn’t show up, but they all just figure he’s sick. When lunch rolls around, Sonia and Gundham decide to ask Hajime where he is and Hajime is like ‘he literally said yesterday he was going to be in the hospital for a while?’ and they both start freaking out and asking if he’s okay and which hospital he’s in and what happened and Hajime’s just like ‘Guys he’s fine, he had his surgery this morning and he’s just recovering now.’ and they’re like ‘SURGERY?!?!?!!’ and that’s when Hajime realizes all of his classmates are just as dense as Soda. He’s like ‘I’m going to see him after school, if you guys wanna come, I’m sure he’ll explain the details to you himself.’ and they both agree and use the rest of their lunch to go buy Soda some ‘get well soon’ gifts.

When they get to the room where Soda’s recovering, Hajime goes in first to see if he’s okay with Sonia and Gundham being there (He already told him in text, but he want’s to double check). Soda’s more than happy to see them and when they walk in he’s just ecstatic (and high off his ass lol). He’s like ‘Wow, look at all these beautiful people coming to see me’ and he reaches out and kisses Sonia’s hand then does the same to Gundham’s, but then he just... keeps holding it after haha (Gundham just accepts it and enters gay panic mode lol). Sonia shows him the little stuffed bear and card they got him (which he cannot currently read but still claims to love lol), and then gestures to the flowers Gundham’s holding. Soda looks at Gundham, holding his hand and offering him flowers and he’s just so in love lol. He turns to Hajime and he’s like ‘Look!! He brought me flowers! That’s so romantic, I told you he’d be a good boyfriend! I’m probably right about him being good in bed too!’ and everyone who isn’t Soda starts blushing super hard cus Jesus. Soda immediately forgets what he said and just reaches for the flowers, but ends up hurting himself cus lifting your arms after top surgery is a big no-no. 

That snaps everyone out of their embarrassment and they’re all hovering around him asking if he’s alright and Gundham is holding his hand a little tighter. After he assures them he’s fine, Sonia finally asks him what kind of surgery he had. His eyes get big and he’s just like ‘Whaaat? You don’t knooow??’ and he’s smiling super big and Hajime is moving closer cus he knows exactly what the idiot is about to try to do. 

“I GOT MY TITTIES CHOPPED OFF!!”

Hajime just manages to stop him from trying to rip his hospital gown off and hurting himself again, reminding him that all Sonia and Gundham would see is bandages anyways lol.

Sonia and Gundham both take a moment to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about while he argues with Hajime about his ‘glorious, flat chest’ and then it clicks and they both realize that they definitely should have figured it out way earlier from all of Soda’s jokes lol. They both congratulate him and he finally stops trying to take off his gown lol.

They spend a few hours just hanging out and chatting in Soda’s hospital room after that.

Gundham holds his hand the whole time. 

[goatsandgangsters]

okay okay okay EPISODE 6. I’m still… out of fucking breath. from the last one.

I didn’t plan on live-blogging because then I’d have to keep pausing to type but actually I’m having too much fun, I guess I’m liveblogging now

my posts just keep getting longer and more and more incomprehensible 

I forgot to mention in my last one, but it was a really good call to include the whole “west ravka wants to secede” plot line. it adds a lot, politically, and also adds a sense of urgency. whereas the book is a little bit like, the darkling is kind of a dumbass if you think about it because ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS WAIT LIKE 50 MORE YEARS, WHICH IS NOTHING IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, but now there’s definitely like. political urgency and necessity that the books don’t convey to the same degree.  

also adds a lot of dimension to What Happens At The End of The Book. which, I’m not there yet, episode-wise. but liiiiiiiiike.

BEN! BARNES! HAS! THE! RANGE! oh I love that they let him be lovesick and terrifying back-to-back like this, god he’s so fucking good. like, we all knew? we all knew this was a stroke of absolute casting genius? but god I don’t think we were actually capable of realizing To What Degree

oh god Inej looking at Alina I’m gonna CRY I actually got teary-eyed??

poor fedyor. he was planning so many double dates and then darklina had to go and breakup. (side note: I am SO INTRIGUED that the darkling thinks ivan is hilarious, so I just think the two “grumpy one/sunshine one” couples should go on a double date. get ravkan ice cream. why can’t this family ever have a funky fresh good time)

“I’ll never let go, helvar”

yo, real talk, why’s the darkling’s bed so short. dOES HE SLEEP WITH HIS LEGS DANGLING OFF THE END. this furniture is absolutely not proportionate to his height at all.

also it’s interesting how often he calls her “miss starkov” instead of alina, considering in the book he’s like “hello alina, how are you alina, alina how is alina today, alina I’ve seen what you truly are alina, FINE alina MAKE alina ME alina YOUR alina.” I’m pretty sure when I first read shadow and bone, literally the only reason I learned alina’s name is because he kept saying it

FASCINATING, CANON ZOYA/DARKLING???????????? honestly don’t know if I like that??? I prefer to think that he has not gotten laid in a couple hundred years because he’s just bad at being a person and isn’t actually as slick as he thinks he is. I cannot believe they un-canoned Zoya/Mal and canon’d this, UNEXPECTED. feels weird. 

on the plus side, I genuinely want a polycule of a solid half the trilogy characters and I guess it’s getting more canon by the minute! this is zoya and her girlfriend alina and alina’s three boyfriends mal, darkling comma the, and nikolai, who are also or have been zoya’s boyfriends at one point or another plus alina’s girlfriend genya who is also zoya’s girlfriend genya and genya’s boyfriend david” I’m allowed a seven-person polyship right?

fedyor and ivan go on double dates with the seven-person polycule. it’s a really tight booth in restaurants. 

also this is zoya’s ex-girlfriend nina who sometimes visits from ketterdam and brings her boyfriend and her girlfriend, and her girlfriend’s boyfriend, and his boyfriend, and his boyfriend.

AND THEN THEY ALL GET BRUNCH, THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

baghra can come too but only because she likes getting day-drunk on mimosas with nikolai and bITCHING with him 

god I miss brunch. and friendship. and cocktails. and human contact. 

anyway back to actually watching this episode

I really like that Alina is about 10x more Actively Involved in everything that happens to her vs. in the first book where she’s more along for the ride

it is emotionally a weird experience to see Mal get pelted with a water bottle and go YEAAH followed by aw nah, he doesn’t deserve that. There is A Mal in another universe who deserves to get pelted by 15 water bottles but it is not this Mal. This Mal can stay. Book Mal is on thin fucking ice and will be pelted with water bottles. But Show Mal is Valid and Allowed. god Archie’s SO FUCKING good. I CANNOT BELIEVE I’M HAVING SOFT FEELINGS ABOUT THIS BUT HERE WE ARE, LIFE IS FULL OF SURPRISES, such is archie’s power and he deserves praise

“Your powers don’t scare me” OHHHHHHH SUCH AN IMPROVEMENT THANK GODDDDDDD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

WHAT the FUCK I am having EMOTIONS over malina scenes

I LOVE NINA SO FUCKING MUCH. I love her endlessly giving Matthias a hard time. he deserves it. god I love HER SHE’S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!

ohhhhhh the MLEMS are FIIIIIGHTING

OHHHHHHHH THE EMO BOYS ARE FIIIIIIIGHTING

oh. my god. they stole the fuckin. they. okay but like, his horsies tho :(((((

KHDFGKSJDFHGSKDFJHGKH DAVID!!!!!! hkdfjhgdfkjghsdfhg d a v id. fjkdhgsdkjfhgdfh dddddaaavviiiiiiidddd. DAVID.

I absolutely love the thought of the darkling, ivan, and david hanging out, because it’s like the three least social people in all of ravka. and they absolutely LOVE one another’s company because no one talks, there is no small talk, and they can just SIT in SILENCE and it’s nICE. sometimes they make brief eye contact and nod a couple times and then go back to politely sitting in silence. 

sdfjkghskhdf his disdainful little ~a d o r a b l e~ about mal and alina deeply resonates with my experiences of reading the books. though AGAIN, WEIRD TO BE HAVING FEELINGS NOW. 

GOD SO NOW I HAVE TO DECIDE!!!!! IT’S SO FUCKING TEMPTING TO WATCH 7 AND 8 TOMORROW NIGHT. IT IS SO TEMPTING. THEN I CAN UNBLACKLIST IT AND REBLOG ALL THE GIFETS.

BUUUUUUUT I have a busy and hectic week and 7 and 8 would be a really nice treat to have waiting for me NEXT Friday as motivation to get through the week

But that also means I have to keep being vigilant about not looking at Content for another week AND IT’S REALLY HARD TO MAINTAIN THAT RESOLVE NOT TO LOOK

god I don’t know what to do. delayed gratification normally comes so naturally to me, this is an actual struggle. I thiiiiiink I’m gonna try and hold off because future!me will be grateful next friday. but mid-week me who wants to look at gifsets will be mad. 

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 5: So Big, So Small

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which Y/N says the truth and Harry cannot.

Word count: 6.6k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link (with original character: Thea as Y/N)

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“Blake, hi, what are you doing here?”

“Hey, I wanted to see you to--” Blake trailed off as soon as he saw Harry on Y/N’s couch. He gave a courteous smile which Harry returned, but if Y/N had paid attention, she would have noticed the passive hostility between them.

Harry trusted Y/N as much as she trusted him, but he didn’t trust Blake. He assumed Blake had been doing all those nice things for her because he wanted to slip back into her life as if all those years he’d been away had meant nothing. And of course, Harry couldn’t stop him from wanting to get her back, but Blake would be an idiot to think he had a chance.

“You were saying?” Y/N asked her ex-boyfriend, who immediately plastered a smile on his face.

“I’ve got some good news for you,” he said. “So I was helping my boss with this new case and guess who the client was? Wait for it...Laura Hilfgard!”

“The author?!”

“Yes!”

Seeing Y/N’s face lit up with joy, Harry couldn’t stay out of it anymore. He got up and walked up to them. Blake pressed his lips into a small smile when Harry put an arm around Y/N’s shoulders and gave her a chaste kiss.

“Blake met Laura Hilfgard, babe! She was his client.”

Her excitement brought a grin to Harry’s face. “That’s the author you like, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t think you’d know her, Harry.”

“Of course I know her.” Harry faked a smile at Blake. “I’ve read all the books beside Y/N’s bed, so I know every author she likes and dislikes.”

“That’s...very impressive.”

“Thank you.”

The sarcastic tone the men had exchanged went right over Y/N’s head as she turned back to Blake. “But what happened? Was she in trouble?”

“No, it’s actually the opposite.” Blake laughed. “She’s getting a divorce. She’s pretty happy about it.”

“Oh, good for her!” Y/N exclaimed, hugging Harry’s arm. “So, what was she like as a real person? I suppose she was just as sweet as I imagined.”

Blake nodded. “She was very sweet. She’s also a literary agent, did you know that?”

“Yes! I actually sent her my manuscript a long time ago but she hadn’t replied. It’s probably got lost in the spam.”

“Well, would you like me to give it to her in person?”

Y/N’s jaw dropped. She snapped her head to look at Harry, whose brows drew together as he tried to figure out what Blake was up to. But the guy didn’t even spare him a glance. He was only beaming at Y/N.

“I think Ms Hilfgard liked me,” Blake said. “I’ll ask her to read the story and give you some feedback. I mean, if that’s fine with you.”

“That’s better than fine! Thank you! Thank you!”

Y/N then told Blake to wait as she ran to the desk by the window and took out a yellow folder from the top drawer. Harry was still gawking at her when she hurried back to the door.

“You finished the story already?” he asked, forehead puckered up as she told him, “no, this is the old version.”

“Why don’t you wait until you’ve finished, love?”

“It’d take forever. Laura might not accept submissions anymore,” she said eagerly. “You said the old version was good, right?”

“Right,” the men answered at the same time and exchanged weird looks with each other, but Y/N couldn’t care less.

“Then it’s worth the risk,” she said with confidence, taking a deep breath. When she was sure they had nothing else to say, she kissed the folder for good luck and gave it to Blake. “If this works out, I owe you big time.”

“I’ll give it to her tomorrow.” He smiled. “I have a feeling that she’ll love it as much as I do.”

Y/N was over the moon, her eyes twinkled as she kept thanking Blake until he was gone, but seeing the look on Harry’s face pulled her back down to Earth.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said as she shut the door.

“You’re not happy for me?”

“I am. You know I am.” Harry scratched the back of his head. “It’s just...you were mad at me for giving your manuscript to John Conall, but now you’re so excited and--”

“It’s not the same though! I was mad at you because I thought you asked Conall to sign me. That guy didn’t even bother to read my story, and you kind of bribed him by agreeing to attend his daughter’s birthday.”

“And how are you so sure Blake doesn’t personally know Laura Hilfgard?”

“Because...it’s...Blake.” Y/N gave a shrug, her face scrunched up as if she couldn’t figure out a proper explanation. “Babe, this is not personal. I just want someone to like my writing because they like my writing, and not because I’m -- because I’m your girl.”

Harry sucked in a breath. He took a step forward, wrapping his arms around her waist as she put her hands on his shoulders.

“You might be my girl, but you’ve always been a great writer,” he said. “And if people like your writing, they like your writing. It’s not because of me.”

“We don’t know that.” She shook her head, her eyes narrowed. “People are always gonna be biased when it comes to who knows who. You work in a similar industry, you know what it’s like.”

“I suppose.” Harry gave a nod and kissed her lips. “I’m sorry. Let’s not fight, okay?”

“We’re not fighting. We’re just...debating.”

“And you win.”

As he put his mouth on her neck, she tossed her head back, laughing and pushing him away. “I don’t want to win. I just want us to understand each other.”

“Do you think we understand each other now?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” she mumbled, making him smile again.

Y/N held Harry’s cheeks and traced a thumb down the bridge of his nose. The creases between his brows disappeared as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers.

“Are you okay?” she quietly asked. “You seem so worried. And I know it’s not only because Blake showed up.”

Harry released a slight laugh as he took another deep breath. “Gemma texted me. She wanted to know how it went.”

“Oh, no. What did you say to her?”

“I haven’t replied,” he admitted. “And I--I don’t think I’m going to.”

“Harry!”

“No, listen.” He grasped her elbows as she pulled away. “I need to get to know Winton so I could prove to Gemma that he’s really changed.”

Y/N took in a sharp breath and cocked her head in disbelief. “You want to get to know Winton now?”

“I already told you--”

“I thought you were just gonna forgive him and let him go. If you want my opinion, then I don’t think it’s a good idea to take him back into your life, let alone get to know him!”

“I have to.”

“No, you want to!” Harry froze at the emphasised word. She held his face, stepping closer. “Baby, I had wasted so many years hating my dad and blaming him for everything that went wrong….I thought I was torturing him, but I was also torturing me. So I understand, and I’m happy you chose to forgive Winton. But...I just--I just want you to be careful before taking him back into your life. I love you so much and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Harry lowered his head. As he said nothing at all, Y/N had to ask, “promise me you’ll be careful?”

He ground his jaw before meeting her lips, nodding slowly. “Yes, I promise.”

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“Bitch, look at me while I’m telling you a story!”

“Just a second!” Y/N tossed the second pile of clothes onto the bed and adjusted the laptop screen so her best friends on the video chat could get a better view. “Sorry, I’m having a fashion crisis right now.”

“Sounds serious,” Amala said, giggling at how Y/N was running around her room in an oversized tee and no pants.

“Are you going to another event with Harry?” Celine shook her fists enthusiastically. “I need to know the theme to help you decide if you should be a lowkey whore or go all out.”

“Cece!” Y/N cackled, her mouth fell open. “I’m not gonna be a whore. I’m having dinner with Harry’s dad and his half-sister tomorrow night!”

“Oh, shit,” Celine mumbled while Amala was in hysterics. “Then extra lowkey whore. Because you’re gonna fuck him after dinner anyway, right?”

“I hate that you know me,” Y/N said and all three of them dissolved into laughter.

“But wait,” Amala arched an eyebrow, “I thought Harry hated his dad and half-sister?”

“So did I, but he’s happy so I support him.” Y/N threw herself on the bed and lay on her stomach. “I’m still gonna make sure he’ll be careful with those two, just in case they’re not who they say they are.”

“Good.” Celine exhaled while exchanging looks with her wife. “Well, we also think you should be careful.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what we’re talking about.” Celine scoffed.

“Blake. Roman.”

“Why did you say his name like he’s Voldemort?” Y/N guffawed at Amala’s serious expression and ran her hand over her face, pushing her hair back. “I literally had to tell Harry that he was worrying for no good reasons, and now you--”

“He had a good reason,” Celine argued.

“And we’re with him on this one!” Amala added.

Y/N opened her mouth again but Celine didn’t even let her start. “Look, baby, the poor man is doing everything to get you back. He makes you dinner, checks on you whenever he gets a chance, and keeps asking to use your shower. I think he comes over even more often than Harry!”

“He’s just lonely, that’s all. He doesn’t know anyone else in London,” Y/N said as she sat up, rubbing her hands on her thighs. “Besides, you know I’m one hundred percent committed to Harry. I would never do anything to hurt him or our relationship. And I don’t even love Blake like that anymore.”

“I know, my love.” Celine sighed as she rested her head on Amala’s shoulder. “But Blake and Harry might not. Men are so stupid, you have to be straightforward.”

“Blake doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Do you really believe that?”

Amala’s question left Y/N tongue-tied. She blew out her cheeks, subconsciously picking at her nails as her eyes bored into the screen.

A knock on the door made her jolt right up.

“Y/N! Are you home?”

“Shit, it’s Blake.”

“Told ya.” Celine raised an eyebrow as she pursed her lips. “We should hang up now. Call us later?”

“Wait, don’t you wanna meet him? He asked about you guys.”

“He was never really our friend,” Amala said. “He was always too cool for us, and he hung out with us because of you.”

Y/N nibbled on her lip as Celine went on, “just don’t give him hope. You have to draw the line before he gets too close.”

Before Y/N could say another word, her two friends had ended the chat.

“Gimme a second!” she shouted to Blake and quickly put on her pyjamas pants so she could answer the door.

“I’m so sorry to disturb you,” Blake said as soon as she appeared, but she shushed him before he continued.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.” She shook her head, her face brightened. “Did Laura respond?”

“Not yet.”

“Oh…” Her smile fell instantly. She had been waiting for good news for nearly a week and she had been so confident. So what if she was wrong?

“Laura is not in London at the moment,” Blake said when he saw her frown. “I gave your manuscript to her assistant and I’m sure it’ll get to her when she gets back.”

“Okay, thank you so much.” She nodded, smiling back at him. “So what do you need?”

“Um...this might sound annoying but...my shower broke again. Could I please use yours?”

“It broke again?” Y/N let out a harsh breath as she remembered what Celine and Amala had told her earlier. “Do you--do you mind if I come see it?”

Blake was taken aback by the response, but he didn’t question it as he invited her into his flat. It was neat and clean, the opposite of his childhood bedroom in Holmes Chapel. Such details reminded her that he was a different and grown man now, even though it hadn’t felt that way since he came back.

She followed him to the bathroom and he stayed at the door while she stepped into the shower. She turned the shower on and off a few times and not a single drop came out of it.

“Told ya.” Blake smiled when she turned around, her cheeks were so red she could feel them heating up.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He shrugged, the way his eyes were fixed on her made her heart feel jumpy. “What’s wrong, Y/N? Tell me.”

Y/N took a little time to think, but Blake wasn’t patient enough to wait.

“Look, I totally understand if you want to say no. I’ll just wait until tomorrow and--”

“No, it’s not like that,” she cut him off, finally looking up and meeting his eyes. “I was just...talking to Cece--”

“Oh, Cece’s over there?” His face lit up, but she shook her head, smiling.

“I was video-chatting with her and Amala. They’re married now.”

“Yeah, I heard.” He rubbed his jaw. “I wasn’t invited but no hard feelings.”

Y/N snorted and rolled her eyes. “Anyway, you know how I tell the girls everything, right?”

“And they think I still have feelings for you?” Blake asked, his expression remained unchanged. He didn’t even give her a chance to answer before asking another question, “does Harry think so too? That would explain why he doesn’t like me.”

At this point, Y/N had no choice but to be honest.

“He could be dramatic sometimes,” she said, “but...he’s a very loving man. He cares about me and I really love him.”

“I’m sure you do.” Blake’s mouth twitched as he hung his head. “Look...When I first moved here, I was very lonely. It was so nice to find someone to talk to, and not just anyone, you. We basically grew up together, Y/N. You felt like home to me, and...and I couldn’t help but care about you, but only as a friend.”

“Yeah, that--that was what I told them.” She sighed.

“I don’t need them to get it, as long as you do.” He let out a laugh, lifting his shoulder in a half-shrug. “But I’ll take it down a notch from now on. I know how you feel when people care about you too much.”

“No, it’s fine, really. Harry always cares about me too much and I’m starting to enjoy the attention.”

Y/N didn’t expect a reply, but it came as a shock to her that Blake would give a mirthless laugh. “What’s so funny?”

Blake chewed the inside of his cheek as if thinking if he should tell her, and eventually, he decided that he should. “You’ve been on your own so often lately, I feel like your boyfriend has other priorities.”

Y/N put her hands on her hips as she scoffed, her mouth opened wide.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Y/N. I’m just telling you the way I see it.”

“Well, the way you see it, is wrong. You don’t even know him.”

“You don’t have to defend him. I know he’s an actor and he has a different life--”

“I don’t have to defend him because I know him. You don’t!” She stabbed a finger at his chest before crossing her arms. “And I’m actually gonna move in with him so I don’t care what you have to say.”

Y/N did not believe she’d said it out loud. She was just as shocked as Blake and both of them froze for a second, just staring at each other with their mouths agape.

“When are you moving in with him?” Blake spoke first, he sounded rather frantic though he tried not to be.

“I-I’m not sure yet,” Y/N uttered. “He asked me a while ago but I haven’t answered.”

Blake jammed his hands in his pockets, his eyes shifted to the floor. “Well then--when are you gonna tell him?”

Y/N wanted to answer that question but she didn’t know how. She leaned back against the glass wall of the shower, biting a nail and pondering for a minute. She was surprised Blake was patient enough to wait for her.

“I’m gonna tell him the next time I see him.”

Blake wasn’t happy with that answer, but Y/N was too busy worrying about something more important to give him her attention. The sound of water leaking from the showerhead brought her back to reality.

“Your shower’s working again,” was all she said before rushing out of the room.

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“Harry! Harry! Wanna read my new story?”

“Not now, Bambi! I’m busy!”

Nine-year-old Y/N stopped at the entrance of the treehouse as she found her older friend sprawling on the dusty wooden floor with paper, markers and paste. He didn’t stop to look at her, so she sat down beside him, crossing her legs and holding her pink notebook to her chest.

“Wow, is this for an art project?”

“No, it’s for Gemma,” Harry replied as he lifted the paper to show her what he’d been working on. It was an awful portrait of his older sister. She had red eyes, two devil horns on top of her head, and was spitting out fire. The word ‘PRANKED’ was written in capital letters right in the middle of the drawing.

“That’s so mean.” Y/N cringed, but Harry seemed rather satisfied with her reaction.

“Her new boyfriend is a jerk. He treats me like sh--I mean, he treats me terribly when she’s not around, but she always believes him and not me.”

Y/N took some time to think before she spoke, “it seems to me that Gemma is blinded by love. But why do you blame her for what her boyfriend did?”

Harry stopped colouring for a second. Y/N believed he was trying to think of an answer, and when he realised he didn’t have one, he said, “either you’re on my side or stay out of this.”

“Of course I’m on your side. Always.” Y/N sighed and put down her notebook. She guessed her story could wait.

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Y/N was holding Harry’s hand under the table when Winton and Emilia arrived at the restaurant. They were looking around with eyes bulging out of their heads, so Y/N guessed they had never been to a place like this before. The first time Harry had taken Y/N to a fancy restaurant, she had been so thrilled, yet so scared that she wouldn’t fit in, so she knew exactly how Winton and Emilia must be feeling now.

But they weren’t the only ones who were nervous about that dinner. Harry was shaking his leg rapidly under the table while talking in such a chill manner that no one could tell he was faking it. His acting skills could be so useful in this kind of situation, but even so, the dinner still felt very awkward.

One person would be talking while the others tried to act interested, and there would be silence in between separate topics during which everyone was just eating and avoiding eye contact. It took them almost an hour, but once they had grown more comfortable with each other’s presence, the conversation flowed more easily.

Harry and Emilia found a common ground as film topics were brought up, and Y/N was happy to find out Winton was a dedicated reader and understood her passion for books and writing.

Harry had never wasted an opportunity to praise his girlfriend, so he couldn’t shut up about what a great writer she was. It made her feel like she was with her dad at a family gathering, but to be honest, she didn’t mind at all.

In the middle of the dinner, Winton noticed the ring on Harry’s hand and he happily exclaimed, ���is that my ring?”

“This one?” Harry smiled as he looked at it. “No, it just looks like yours. I lost your ring when I was a kid and Y/N gave this one to me for my last birthday.”

“Aww, you guys are the definition of true love,” Emilia said with both hands on her chest.

“Thank you,” Y/N said, giving her boyfriend a funny stare which made him scoff into his fist. In their talk last night before bed, they had both agreed that Emilia was weird, but since they and the people they hung out with weren’t exactly the definition of normal, Emilia’s personality had never really bothered them.

“I have one good news!” Emilia said as the waiters brought desserts to their table. “Isaac asked me to be the model for his next shoot, and I said yes! Isn’t it exciting?”

“Wow, congratulations, Emi,” Harry said as he exchanged looks with Y/N again.

Emilia laughed at their dumbfounded reaction. “I know what you two are thinking. Isaac and I are just friends. He’s just really nice to me.”

“Did he tell you where Harry was having his photoshoot the other day?”

The question froze Winton and Emilia to the spot. Y/N honestly didn’t expect that, she simply asked that question because she and Harry had assumed Isaac was the one who’d told them.

As Winton was about to answer, Emilia blurted out, “yes, how else would we know?”

Y/N breathed out a smile, letting go of Harry’s hand under the table to fold her arms on top of it. She wondered why Emilia appeared so apprehensive. Did she think she was about to be exposed? Did she have secrets to hide?

“It’s just Isaac had never blindsided Harry like that. You two must be very close,” Y/N said, not breaking eye contact with Emilia, who leaned back into her chair and smoothed out her dress.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. Don’t be jealous.”

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous?”

Harry tapped Y/N on the arm but she shrugged him away, and Emilia pretended like she didn’t see her father’s warning glare.

“You used to model for Isaac, right?”

“That’s enough, Emilia,” Harry spoke as Winton heaved a sigh and picked up a fork to eat his dessert.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, it was a joke,” Emilia said as she touched Y/N’s hand on the table, but Y/N immediately pulled it away to hold Harry’s hand instead.

“It’s okay. Let’s just move on.”

Seeing the uneasy look on Emilia’s face, Y/N believed there was more to this girl than a bubbly personality and a tragic past. She must have had something to hide.

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“I don’t trust Emilia,” Y/N said as soon as she was alone in the car with Harry.

He drove away, keeping his eyes on the road and one hand on her thigh. “I agree, she was talking too much about her biscuits.”

“No, I’m serious!” She smacked his arm as he cackled. “Didn’t you see the way she reacted to me asking about Isaac? What was that all about?”

“I think she’s just odd, but she means no harm. Well, except for when she was rude to you, that was unacceptable!”

Y/N laughed slightly and rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. I think she might have manipulated Isaac into telling her where you were.”

“Or...Isaac did it because he wanted me to hear Winton’s side of the story. Isaac is all about justice and kindness and forgiveness.” Harry gave a shrug and stole a quick glance at his girlfriend. “You look so sexy when you’re acting like a detective, but don’t get stressed out about this, babe.”

“You’re right.” She exhaled, fanning herself. “You’re probably right. Now I’m being weird.”

He chuckled and squeezed her thigh. “Are you tired, kid? I cannot wait to get back and go to sleep!”

“Go to sleep?” She gasped. “What about me?”

A corner of his lips turned up as he stole another look at her. “What about you?”

“You haven’t fucked me in two days.” She raised two fingers, pouting like a child, making him laugh.

“Oh, no. I haven’t?”

His fake surprised reaction got her amused. She leaned in and whispered into his ear, “if you’re tired, you can go to sleep. I promise I won’t be too loud.”

“Stop it! You’re gonna make me crash my car!”

As he started squirming in his seat to fix the bulge in his pants, she was shaking with laughter.

“You think this is funny?” He smirked. “Just wait until we get home.”

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.

.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, I’m sure, Bambi,” Harry asserted. “You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.”

“I want to!” Y/N said a bit too loud and the older boy shushed her as they kept tiptoeing up down the hall. Harry got down on his knees, so Y/N did the same and crawled behind him towards Gemma’s bedroom door. He sat on his heels, smiling devilishly while taking one last look at the envelope in his hand.

To: Gemma

From: Dad

“What if she gets angry and kills us?” Y/N whispered.

“Then we’ll die like heroes,” Harry told her, trying not to laugh at the way her breath quickened out of fear. Her face screwed up as she saw him kiss the fake letter before handing it to her and telling her to do the same.

“What’s it for?”

“Good luck.”

“Oh.” Her mouth formed a tiny circle. She quickly kissed it and gave it back to him.

Harry slipped the letter under his sister’s door and sat by it with his back against the wall. Y/N hurriedly rushed to his side and flopped down, hugging his arm tightly. Despite how worried she looked, the boy seemed enthusiastic. He covered his mouth and tittered into his palm.

“Oh man, she’s going to be--”

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

The kids screamed when Gemma burst out of her room. She tackled Harry to the floor before he could run and started hitting him while he was kicking her back to defend himself. Y/N was bawling as she tried to pull Gemma away, but Gemma was too strong and Harry was helpless. Gemma’s fist hit Y/N’s head by accident and knocked her to the ground. Fortunately, Anne showed up just in time to break off the fight before it got worse. She held Gemma back so Harry could escape. The boy crawled towards his little friend and hugged her to his chest. Both of them were crying.

“Let me go! Let me kill him! I’m gonna kill you, you little jerk!”

“Gemma, calm down!” Anne held her daughter tighter. Gemma was kicking and screaming and Y/N could’ve sworn she had never seen someone so angry. For a second, she thought Gemma’s head was about to explode like one of those cartoon characters on the TV, but suddenly, she buried her face into her mother’s chest and started sobbing.

Y/N was in shock. Why was Gemma crying? Because of the drawing? It was just a stupid drawing. Y/N was trying to figure out the answer when Harry took her hand and pulled her with him. They hurriedly ran downstairs, leaving Gemma with Anne.

Anne returned to the living room fifteen minutes later to find Harry and Y/N sitting on the couch, holding hands but too scared to speak.

“Harry, go to your room. We need to talk.” Anne jerked her head towards the staircase, and Harry gave Y/N one last look before he stood up.

The little girl rose from the couch as she watched her older friend run upstairs. His mother turned back to her with a gentle smile and said, “you should go home, Y/N.”

“But...”

“Harry will be fine.”

Y/N’s lip shuddered as she clasped her hands together. “Please don’t ground him! If you do, please let him come to the treehouse.”

“Just go home, baby. I promise you Harry will be fine.” Anne smiled and touched the little girl’s cheek. “It’s Father’s Day. Why don’t you spend it with your dad?”

“It’s Father’s Day?”

“Yeah, you didn’t know?”

“No.” Y/N’s eyes shifted to the floor as she started fidgeting with her own fingers. “My dad is out of town, and...and we never celebrate it anyway.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Y/N quickly looked up. “Was that why Gemma was crying? Because she missed her dad?”

Anne didn’t answer that question. “Why don’t you wait for Harry in the treehouse?” she said. “He’ll be there after we’ve talked about what happened.”

Y/N thanked Anne before she left and went straight to the treehouse to wait for Harry. She was pacing back and forth and biting her nail, and as soon as she heard his footsteps at the entrance, she turned her head so fast it could’ve fallen out.

She rushed towards him and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her and chuckled. “You’re acting like I just went to war or something.”

“Are you grounded?”

“Yeah, but I’m still allowed to see you.”

Y/N put a hand on her chest and exhaled in relief as they sat down on the floor. Y/N wasn’t sure if she should bring it up or let it go, but she was curious to know how Harry felt about what had happened.

“Did you fake that letter because it was Father’s Day and you know Gemma was expecting it?”

The boy hung his head like a criminal in a courtroom, nodding slowly before he confessed, “yes.”

“Were you expecting a letter too?”

There was a pause.

“Yes.”

Y/N thought she should stop, but she couldn’t help it. She got on her knees and scooted closer to him, holding his hands on his lap. “What did your mother say to you? Was she angry?”

“No…” He breathed and looked up. “She was more disappointed...and sad…She made me apologise to Gemma.”

“So you two made up?”

“Not really. Gemma didn’t want to see me, but she’ll forgive me in a few days when she forgets. She always does.”

“What about her boyfriend?” Y/N asked, making Harry snort.

“I’ll come up with another plan for him.”

“Harry...”

“Just kidding, Bambi.” He pressed his lips into a smile and rubbed the red spot on her forehead where Gemma had accidentally hit her. “Does it hurt?”

She shook her head and pushed his hand away, not wanting to let him change the subject. “You’ve never liked any of Gemma’s boyfriends though. Why is that?”

“Because they were all jerks.”

“Not true. The last boy was nice.”

As Harry couldn’t disagree, he rolled his eyes and admitted, “she doesn’t need a boyfriend, she’s happy with us.”

“She’ll have to get married at one point.”

“No, she doesn’t. Marriage sucks. It only hurts people. Look what it’s done to your parents and mine, and us.” Harry picked up a yellow leaf at his feet and stared at it for a long moment. “You know, my mum told me that...after my dad left she had never felt so lonely. She had to take on more responsibility and did all the things my dad used to do when he was still here. The house that used to be small for the four of us suddenly felt so big. You might think missing one person wouldn’t make a difference but it does, Bambi. You’re lucky your parents are still together.”

“And that my house is smaller than yours,” she said with a serious face and he couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh.

“And that, too.”

Y/N took some time to gather her thoughts before she told him, “well, when I grow up, I will sell my stories and buy a small house so I won’t feel too small compared to it.”

“That’s nice, Bambi.” Harry beamed as he rubbed the red spot on her forehead gently. “What will you do with the rest of your money?”

“I’ll buy tickets to visit you once in a while,” she happily said. “You’re gonna be an actor, right? Actors travel a lot. You’re gonna have ten houses in ten different countries!”

“Well, if I’m so rich, I can just buy you tickets so you can visit me.”

“No, thanks, sir.” She pushed his hand away again, lifting her chin and crossing her arms. “I’m gonna make my own money because I’m gonna be an independent woman.”

“Of course, you are. I believe in you,” he said and tapped her nose. “Now, since I’m grounded and have nothing better to do, why don’t we read your new story?”

.

.

.

Harry and Y/N arrived at his house in no time. He drove his car into the underground garage, so eager to take his girlfriend to bed and call it a day. They raced each other upstairs to the living room like two little kids, completely carefree and unaware of what was waiting for them, well, who was waiting for them.

Harry stopped dead in his tracks as he loosened his arms around Y/N’s waist, and she turned around, eyes wide with shock.

“Your assistant let me in,” Gemma said as she got up from the sofa.

“What...what are you doing here?” Harry faltered, he let go of Y/N and walked up to his sister who was standing with her arms crossed.

“Where were you?” Gemma asked.

“We went on a date,” Harry told her. Y/N couldn’t believe he lied. She was biting her nail while waiting for Gemma’s response.

“I was invited, you know.”

“What?” Harry froze. And so did Y/N.

“To the dinner.” Wait, what? “Some girl named Emilia Styles called me. Do you happen to know her?”

Y/N’s brain stuttered for a moment and every part of her went on pause, waiting for her thoughts to catch up. She could only see Harry’s back from where she stood, but he was standing so still as if he’d stopped breathing.

“I knew something was wrong when you didn’t text me back and I got the phone call,” Gemma said slowly. “I turned her down. Don’t worry, I was polite because I didn’t know the girl. But I know you. You’re my brother. And saying that I’m disappointed and angry would be an understatement.”

“Gem--”

“Don’t!” Gemma raised her voice, making Harry jump. He reached for her hand and she pushed him away. “God, you are so fucking obsessed with wanting him back you let him get into your head and you lied to me!”

“I was going to tell you, I just didn’t know how! But--but Winton is not who we thought he was.”

“I don’t fucking care, Harry!” she shouted, pointing her shaky finger to his face. ”I don’t give a fuck if he’s joined the military or become a priest or been saving lives in Africa! No matter how ‘good’ he’s become, he’s still dead to me!” She gnashed her teeth as her bottom lip trembled. “And right now, I can’t help but feel the same about you.”

“You don’t mean that,” Harry’s voice broke. Y/N was white as chalk and her eyes were as wide as they could stretch. She wanted to say something, but she knew if she spoke, it would only get worse.

Gemma raised her chin as she clenched her jaw and whispered, “yes, I do. You are becoming selfish just like him, it makes me sick.”

“Gemma!”

Harry chased his sister out of the door, leaving Y/N to drown in the gloomy silence of the mansion. She gave herself a moment to catch her breath before going to the backyard for some fresh air. There was an outdoor pool which was cleaned every two days, but Harry rarely used it as he was busy all the time.

She sat down on the edge, feet dangling in the blue water. The soothing coolness helped her relax until she heard his voice from behind, “don’t jump in without me.”

She pulled her legs up, about to stand up but Harry had already sat down next to her.

“How was it?” she asked as he rolled his pants and put his feet into the pool.

“She left before I could catch up.”

“I’m so sorry, babe.” Y/N wrapped an arm around his shoulders, rubbing his arms. “Maybe you should give her a day or two to cool off and then apologise.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that easy.” He breathed while staring at the water. “It might have been like that when we were children, but it’s different now. We’re both adults. I knew there would be consequences, yet I couldn’t help it.”

Y/N sucked her lips into her mouth, her chest felt so heavy. She hated to see him sad and he had been through so much since the death of his stepfather. She was desperate to cheer him up, she would do anything.

“I think I’m ready.”

Harry turned to look at Y/N, his forehead creased as he was confused. “For what?”

“I’m ready to move in with you,” she said, but a smile turned into a frown as his reaction wasn’t anything like she’d expected. “What? Are you not happy?”

“I am.” He kissed her twice, holding her face. “But...are you?”

“Of course I am. I love you.”

But even after hearing those words, Harry still seemed unsure.

“Do you really want to or you just feel like you have to?”

Y/N was just about to say she wanted to, but her mouth froze as soon as it opened. Do you really want to, Y/N? she asked herself while looking around his enormous backyard.

“Hey, it’s all right.” He cupped her cheeks and turned her face back to him. She expected him to be mad, but he flashed her a toothy grin instead. “You know, when I saw you sitting here all alone, I realised how small you looked compared to all the space in this house. And I think I know the reason you were so reluctant to make that decision.”

“Harry--” She took his wrists, but he didn’t let go.

“Bambi,” he looked into her eyes and smiled, “I think you should keep your flat for now until we’re both ready for such commitment. At least you have your neighbours and won’t be so lonely when I’m away.”

“So it means…” she trailed off, biting her lip. “It means you don’t hate Blake anymore?”

The way Harry cringed at the name made Y/N giggle.

“I still hate that kid, and I still don’t trust him,” he said, his nose crinkled, “but I trust you, and I know you will put him in his place if he ever tries to cross the line.”

“Thank you.” Y/N wrapped both arms around his neck as he hugged her waist, burying his nose into her hair.

“Thank you for putting up with me, kid. As long as you stay, I wouldn’t care if everyone else left.”

“Don’t say shit like that.” She playfully hit his back but didn’t let him go. “I’m gonna have a serious talk with your crazy half-sister tomorrow. She’s crossed the line this time.”

Harry pulled away, eyebrows drew together. “Do you think Isaac gave her Gemma’s number?”

“Probably. For all we know, he could be brainwashed,” she said, making him laugh.

“Well, let’s not make an assumption too soon.”

“Agreed.” Y/N nodded once and dramatically puffed out her chest as she cleared her throat. “I promise you we’ll get to the bottom of this and find out what secrets this young woman might be hiding!”

“Holy shit, you’re so hot when you talk like Sherlock Holmes!”

Y/N’s lips curved into a smile as she poked the dimple on his cheek. “And you’re so lucky to have me.”

[the1918]

Bespoke, Chapter 5 is taking me a stupid amount of time to finish, and I feel so bad about it that I’m going post post a teaser here :) This is about a quarter of the chapter. Hope you like it!

Teaser for Bespoke, Chapter 5

[Story No. 2 in the Compatibile A/B/O Universe]

Pairing: Shrunkyclunks (Cap Steve Rogers / Modern Bucky Barnes), of the bearded Alpha Steve and Omega twink!Bucky subvariety

Rating: Story Rated E for Explicit, this excerpt Rated T for Teen

Tags: A/B/O, sugar daddy!Steve

***

December 15

Thursday - 2:15 P.M.

Elevators in medical buildings always smelled like rubbing alcohol and iodine, which was definitely not Bucky’s favorite smell. He breathed through his mouth instead of his nose as the elevator descended the fourteen floors from Dr. Pete’s office suite, down to the ground floor.

Bucky had left work early that day to catch his monthly blood work appointment. Unpleasantly sterile smells aside, he was breathing especially easy that afternoon, for two reasons. First, he had finally wrapped up the enormous project he’d been working on in his lab for almost eight months, and he’d passed it off to the StarkTech testing department. Getting that load off his plate was a massive relief, and it came at the perfect time; he could now embark on his Vermont vacation (tomorrow!) with Steve and leave behind the weight of work on his shoulders. Second, the results of Bucky’s blood work had shown his hormone levels right where Dr. Pete had expected them to be, based on the Heat time-table they were anticipating. No early Heat.

Bucky was more stress-free than he could remember feeling in six months.

As he stepped out of the elevator to the ground floor, Bucky immediately felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out to find a text message from Steve.

 [2:15 P.M.] Stevie: Done at Pete’s yet?

 Instead of walking out onto the cold, winter-time city streets, Bucky found a bench in the lobby and sat down to respond.

 [2:16 P.M.] Sent: Yep, just finished.

[2:16 P.M.] Stevie: Great. Any surprises?

 Bucky knew Steve was referring to his blood work. He typed out his response knowing Steve would be relieved by the results, just as Bucky was.

 [2:17 P.M.] Sent: Nope. Everything was where Dr. P thought it would be.

[2:18 P.M.] Sent: He says I look on track for April, maybe February if it comes early.

 Bucky watched his phone. There was no response from Steve for a while, and Bucky worried that he may have spooked him with details about their time-table. The two hadn’t talked about Bucky’s next Heat much at all since their first and only therapy visit with Dr. Welsh, but Bucky knew it was hanging over their heads. If his Heat came within the conservative margin of error that Dr. Pete had estimated, they could theoretically be dealing with it in less than 60 days. With it would come Steve’s rut, and if they didn’t make any significant, tangible progress on the knotting issue before then, they could very well be dealing with something they weren’t ready for emotionally. The pressure, however silent, was there.

His phone vibrated again just as he was pulling out his gloves to head out onto the street.

 [2:22 P.M.] Stevie: Good to hear. You got any other plans this afternoon?

 Bucky frowned. He wondered if Steve was going to ask him for a late lunch, and he wished he hadn't already eaten.

 [2:23 P.M.] Sent: No. Was gonna come home for the day, help you out with the lighting installation.

[2:23 P.M.] Sent: Why?

[2:24 P.M.] Stevie: Because you have plans now.

[2:24 P.M.] Stevie: [Blue Serenity Spa]  - You’ve Been Sent a Link on Google Maps!

His confused frown deepened as he clicked the link. It took him to the location of some sort of day spa in northwest Brooklyn, not far from their apartment. Before Bucky could text back a ‘???’, another text from Steve came through.

 [2:25 P.M.] Stevie: You have an open-ended appointment starting at 3:15 P.M. Any and all services you ask for. I got you scheduled for a massage already, but you can change that if you want.

[2:26 P.M.] Stevie: They have my card info. Don’t you dare to even think about looking at the price list.

[2:26 P.M.] Stevie: Better go catch the next train baby ;)

 Flabbergasted, thumbs paralyzed and seemingly unable to type out another text, Bucky decided to just hit the call button on Steve’s contact. He placed the phone to his ear and he suddenly felt antsy as he waited for Steve to pick up. There was no ‘hello’ when the ringing stopped, only Steve’s teasing voice.

“I thought I told you to head for the train?”

“Steve,” Bucky began, emphatically. “What is this? You booked me a spa appointment?”

Steve was silent on the other end of the line for a long moment, and Bucky wondered if it was because he was more nervous than his confident communication let on.

“Yeah, angel. I did. Look,” Steve sighed, “you really don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have assumed you’d like this, I’m sorry. I just thought—”

“Woah,” Bucky interjected. “Hang on, I never said I didn’t like it. I just… I guess I don’t know why you want — why you think I deserved—”

“—You don’t know why I think you deserved to be pampered, Buck?” Steve interrupted, incredulous. “Really? After you just worked your ass off at work for months to finish a project that no one else could have even dreamed of doing? The technology that Tony’s been yapping to me about since before I even knew you?”

“It’s still technically in R&D,” Bucky muttered, blushing. Steve had always been supportive and enthusiastic about Bucky’s engineering work, but it still never ceased to make him feel a little bashful when Steve got to actually raving about him and his skills.

“Yeah, and the finished product is going to be amazing, because Bucky fucking Barnes developed it.”

Bucky laughed and fiddled with a thread on his sweater.

“You… you’re sure? I’ve never really been to a spa like that before, and it looked really nice on Google…”

“And it will be nice for you, which is exactly what I want.”

“Stevie…” Bucky smiled to himself and shook his head, a little at a loss for words. “I really was going to come home and help, you know. It takes more than two hands to put up some of those bigger fixtures.”

“Doesn’t have to be your hands, though. That’s why Sam is here.” Sure enough, in the background of the phone call Bucky suddenly heard Sam’s voice, hollering something that sounded a lot like, ‘go get a fucking rub down, Barnes!’.

Steve chuckled, and then Bucky thought he could hear him walking away.

“Also…” Steve said, volume lower, “last night, you put a plug in your ass and begged me to nail you on Tony’s conference room table. I think treating my baby to a spa appointment is the least I can do when you’ve just fulfilled multiple fantasies I didn’t even know I had.”

Bucky barked out a laugh at that. He looked down at the clock on his new smart watch—another gift from Steve—and realized that he really did have to head for the train if he was actually going to do this. He stood up and grabbed his bag.

“Alright… alright,” he conceded. Steve’s smile was almost audible through the phone. “You’ve convinced me. Thank you, Stevie.”

“No thanks necessary, baby. I wish you would let me treat you like this all the time, but I’ll take what I can get.”

Finally walking out onto the cold and busy sidewalk, Bucky was just about to say his goodbye and hang up when Steve chimed in again.  

“By the way, I just put in a call to Tony. You’ll be hearing from him very soon.”

Bucky’s stomach dropped. “Shit. Did he figure out what we did? I mean, cleanup was a bitch, and we definitely had to throw away that undershirt after using it as towel, but I think we did a pretty good job covering our tracks? God, I’m gonna be in such deep shit with him—”

“No, nothing like that,” Steve chuckled. “I mean, there’s no way he doesn’t know, but he also knows damn well that he better come to me first if he’s got a problem with it. Besides… He probably considers it payback.”

“Payback? For what?”

“A story for another time,” Steve promised. “Are you at the station yet?”

“I’m walking there right now.”

“Alright, I’ll let you go. Have a relaxing time, baby. You deserve it. And use your time there, okay? I don’t want to see you home before six. Hell— keep ‘em ‘till they close, if you can manage it.”

“Okay,” Bucky laughed. “Thank you, Steve. Seriously… and I love you.”

“I love you, too, and I really love you when you let me spoil you.” Bucky could practically hear Steve wink. “Bye, honey.”

 As Bucky walked the familiar route to the subway station, his phone dinged again, this time from Tony.

 [2:44 P.M.] Tiny Snark: I literally cannot look at your face after what you did to my conference room with your jackass boyfriend.

[2:44 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Do not come in tomorrow.

[2:45 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Consider it extra paid vacation, you disgusting pond scum.

[2:45 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Seriously. I better not see you or your vile beau again until January.

 Bucky probably looked like an idiot laughing so hard alone in public, but he didn’t care.

 [2:46 P.M.] Sent: Thanks Tony. Merry Christmas.

[2:47 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Yeah, and Happy fucking New Year.

 Bucky stuffed his phone in his pocket and abandoned himself to his thoughts as he jogged down the steps into the station, marveling at the wonder that was his boyfriend. Sometimes, he still could not believe that Steve was his. Steve—who had not only been a supportive partner to Bucky from the very beginning, but who was also a powerful and attentive lover, and—most importantly—the single greatest source of Bucky’s joy. By the time he reached the subway platform, waiting for the train, the sudden enormity of his gratitude for Steve had begun to bubble up and spread within the depths of Bucky’s chest, and he felt fit to combust with it. He had to remind himself just to breathe.

How had he gotten so lucky?

***

I hope you enjoyed this sneak peek! Their relationship is about to head in a very special direction, starting in this chapter.

[bangcrizpychan]

Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water

☆Pairing: Mafia underboss!S.Coups x Reader

☆Genre: heart-sickening angst, mafia!au, pregnant!Reader au

☆Requested:Yes

☆Word count: 2.2k

⚠WARNINGS: suggestive themes, blood, violence, drug usage, death, swear words, and A MASSIVE EXPLOSION OF ANGST FROM ANGSTVILLE, *read at your own risk*

☆Summary: You were the city Mayor’s daughter, he was a Mafia underboss, a relationship that never should’ve started in the first place. Will you be able to go against all odds?

☞Note: since the request didn’t really specify whether the fic is going to be an angst or fluff, I went full blown ANGST. THIS IS 100% ANGST (╥_╥), so grab a tissue and have an angsty reading♡

You fixed your skin-tight dress and dark red lipstick then looked at your boyfriend, Seungcheol, who smirked at you and eyed you hungrily. You seductively walked towards him, every step making your heart pound with excitement. You have been dating for a year now, but the thrill of having a mafia underboss as a lover when you’re supposed to be an angel to your father’s eyes, who was the city Mayor, still exhilarates you.

You straddled Seungcheol’s lap and attacked his neck, he sighed at your touch and let his hands roam your figure. You grazed your teeth against his soft spot and it earned you a beautiful moan coming from him, oh how you loved the noises he make and you knew that you were the only one that can weaken him like this. You started to unbutton his shirt when a sharp knock interrupted your session.

Seungcheol let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed his temples, “come in,” Jeonghan, a capo, went inside and gave a letter to Seungcheol. “It’s a VIP invitation to Congressman Han Seongsu’s 50th birthday,” Seungcheol rolled his eyes. “Why do I need to go to that old scum’s birthday?” “He is one of our loyal customer, and there will be a transaction on that day to send more of our package to Jeju.” You almost felt bad for Jeonghan, Seungcheol seems to be mean towards him like every time.

“And your it was your father’s orders to you send there,” you rubbed circles on your boyfriend’s chest to soothe him. Seungcheol’s father is the current Mafia boss and Seungcheol is his successor since he’s an only child. “Also, you need a date before going there.” Jeonghan added and shot you a look, He ‘tsked’ and sent Jeonghan away with his hand, who left without saying another word. He took a deep breath and looked at you, a smirk back on his lips.

“So, where were we?” you giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, “we were starting this part,” you smashed your lips against his and quickly unbuttoned his shirt. His chest rumbled with laughter, “you seem so eager baby, don’t worry, we’ll get there.”

Your tongues played together as you discarded each other’s clothing, ending the night with passion and pleasure filling the air.

—–

You let out a shaky breath when you saw the pregnancy test; two visible lines that seemed to taunt you. You were pregnant, “No, i-it can’t be,” you were sure that you were on pill, so why was this happening?!

When you finished crying in the bathroom, you decided to call your best friend, Seungkwan, to ask for guidance. He agreed to meet you at his apartment so you got ready and headed there as quickly as you could.

When you arrived at his place, you completely broke down in his arms, he whispered comforting things and your ears and soothed your back.

“y/n, what happened?” he asked and handed you a glass of water, you took a sip and explained yourself, “I-I don’t know Seungkwan, we were careful!” you sobbed, Seungkwan knew you had a boyfriend, but he didn’t know what kind of person Seungcheol is. What would he do to you if he finds out?!

“You have to tell your boyfriend, y/n, and your family,” “I know, but I-I’m just scared.” that was a lie, you were completely terrified, you were allegedly a good girl in your family’s eyes, to them, you finished University without any boys bothering you. But most of all, you were terrified of Seungcheol, he loved you, you knew that, but you’ve seen what he was capable of. He had ended someone’s life in front of you before, what if the next person that will stand at the end of his gun is you?

Seungkwan babied you the whole time you were at his place, you watched your favorite shows together and ate a lot of sweets. Your phone beeped in the middle of the show and your blood ran cold when you saw the text.

“come home. Now,” it was from your brother, Joshua. You bid Seungkwan goodbye and went home anxiously. When you arrived at your place, you saw your brother, who was still in his uniform, and your mother sitting in the living room. “What’s going on y/n? Why did your brother drag me here and called for a ‘family meeting’” your mother asked, twirling his diamond ring, almost looking bored.

“I want to know what’s going on as well,” your brother reached out from his pocket and pulled out a plastic, “care to explain what the fuck this is, y/n?!” you flinched at your brother’s voice. He handed the plastic to your mother who then screamed when she pulled out what was inside. Your maids rushed to the living room to see what the commotion was but you stood there still, staring at the pregnancy test that was dropped on the floor.

“How could this happen, y/n??!” your mother cried, the maids brought her tea to calm her nerves but she refused and continued to sob. “what the fuck were you doing in my room?!” you demanded to your brother, tears streaming down your face.

“You think I wouldn’t notice you looking sick and barely eating anything?! You think I wouldn’t see the signs?!” he yelled at you, “Who the fuck is the asshole?!” No, he couldn’t know, he should never know. “Oppa! Please don’t, don’t tell Dad, I beg you” you dropped to your knees and begged your brother. Your mother was stopped sobbing for a second, and thought about rushing to your side but she was too weak to do so.

“Just tell me his fucking name, I can charge him with rape and I’ll cuff that motherfucker myself,” you chanted a series of nos and I’m sorrys. If you weren’t that terrified before, you are now. Your brother is a police officer and if he knew that the father of your unborn child was a mafia underboss, he would definitely kill him.

In the middle of the chaos, you decided to run away, you heard your mother call out your name but you didn’t care, you got into your car and drove as fast as you can. You called Seungcheol and he decided to meet you at the Hangang Bridge.

He lit up your cigarette that was hanging in your lips a little too long. “What happened, sweetheart?” “I got into a fight with my brother,” you sucked some smoke in and slowly blew it out. “Do you want me to take him out?” Seungcheol suggested, which you would’ve laughed at if you didn’t know he was serious, but you knew he could definitely kill your brother. You just scoffed and let the silence took over you.

“Do you love me, Seungcheol?” you asked out of the blue, Seungcheol disposed of his cigarette and took yours off from your mouth. “Of course I do baby, I love you so much,” “Well, what do you think about babies?”

He chuckled and smoked the rest of your cigar, “I mean babies are adorable, but they’re so fucking annoying to look after.” you lowered your head and muttered a single ’oh’. “why? Do you want to make little Seungcheol or little y/n to pester us?” he laughed and cupped your face.

“Because I’m definitely down with the baby-making process,” he said and crashed his lips to yours, you tasted the minty flavor of the cigar and the scene alone made you feel hot. Maybe you could tell him after tomorrow’s event.

—-

You turned a lot of heads when you entered the congressman’s manor, you were wearing a silver long gown that barely covered your breasts, and Seungcheol loved the fact that he can show off your beautiful body and let them know that you were his.

“y/n??” you stopped your conversation with the congressman’s wife and whipped your head to the direction of the voice. Your eyes widened when you saw your father together with your mother. “M-Mom, Dad? What are you doing here?” “What the hell are you doing here?! You ran away from home and now you’re attending a party?!” your father scolded.

“Guys? What’s going on?” Joshua appeared behind them and then looked at you, “y/n? What are you doing here?” he quickly shooed your parents away to talk to you. As you and your brother started to talk, Seungcheol suddenly appeared at your side.

“Hey baby, who’s this?” You couldn’t believe it, it was the most unfortunate coincidence you’ve ever experienced, your brother had to meet your lover like this. “I’m her brother and you are?” “I’m her boyfriend, it’s nice to meet you bro,” Seungcheol reached his hand out to offer a handshake but your brother only stared at him.

“I know you from somewhere,” your brother’s eyes widened with realization. He pulled you from Seungcheol’s grasp and dragged you across the room. You struggled to remove yourself from him, yelling at him to let you go.

“What the fuck, y/n?! You’re fucking dating a mafia?!” your eyes widened with fear, this cannot be happening right now. “Is he the father of your fucking child?!” he grabbed a fistful of his hair and pressed his earpiece, “I need backup right now, I caught sight of a mafia at Congressman Han’s mansion. I need backup. Now!!”

You ran off as he was yelling orders and went to find Seungcheol. You found him conversing with Congressman Han, “Seungcheol! You need to leave! Now!” you yelled and tugged at his arm, he excused himself and turned to you, “What’s going on, y/n?” “My brother, he knew you were gonna have a transaction here. He recognized you and called for backup-”

“Wait, your brother is a fucking police officer?! What the actual fuck y/n?!” he cut you off but you dragged him behind with you. “There’s no time to explain, we need to go, you’re not safe here!” you heard the police sirens and both of you made a run for it. His goons took out their guns and chaos erupted inside the mansion. A couple of officers tailed you but Seungcheol’s goons came and fought them off. However you were both caught in a crossfire and barely managed to reach the abandoned warehouse near the manor.

You helped Seungcheol drag himself to the warehouse, he got hit in so many places just to cover for you. You fell down next to the sacks and groaned in pain, blood seeped through your once silver gown but you ignored your pain and focused on Seungcheol’s wounds.

“Baby, don’t close your eyes, please. Help is on its way, I managed to contact Jeonghan before we got to this warehouse, you just have to stay with me,” you cried and applied pressure to some of his wounds.

Seungcheol coughed up blood and reached up to hold your face, “w-when you were talking a-about babies yesterday, w-were you s-saying that you were pregnant?” you cried and held his hand that was cupping your face. “Yes, I was baby. You’re going to be a Dad, so stay with us. Okay?”

“I’m g-going to be a Dad? I don’t k-know if I’m going to b-be a good one though,” he chuckled. “You are going to be the best Dad in the world, baby.” you cried and let out a small smile.

You didn’t want any of these to happen. You never wanted to be a sister of a policeman and Seungcheol never wished to be an heir to a Mafia boss. All you ever wanted was to be a normal couple that was going to be a family soon.

Seungcheol coughed and grunted in pain, he looked at you straight in the eyes, “I love you y/n, so fucking much. More than my fucking life.” “I love you too, more than anything in this world.” You cried, and pressed your lips against his.

Seungcheol nodded and smiled, then his hand went limp. Silence, aside from the sirens you hear at the distance, it was all just silence. You screamed at the top of your lungs and embraced your lover, you held him like you were holding onto life, he can’t be gone. He can’t leave you behind.

You started to feel pain so you looked down and saw a lot of blood seeping out of you. It turned out that you were hit by more than one bullet and you felt yourself cough up your own blood. Seungcheol was not going to leave you, you were going with him.

You rubbed your belly and sobbed, “I’m sorry, my baby, you didn’t even get the chance to see this world, I didn’t even get the chance to see you.” you groaned in pain as you lied down next to the corpse of your once lover.

You stared at the ceiling of the warehouse, smiling widely and scooting closer to Seungcheol. You felt your eyelids go heavy and you couldn’t hear nor feel anything, anymore. You mentally scoffed, you never thought you were going to die at a horrible place like this; but you were glad of your imminent death, because at least you died in the arms of your one true love.

☞Note: I may or may not have imagined the request too deep and created this chaotic monstrosity. Sorry, I was just feeling too angsty (╥﹏╥)

[parkeraul]

→ boyfriend  •  1 | t.h. & s.m.

prologue | part 1

author’s note — hello, girlfriends. first of all, i really wanna apologise for the lack of writings lately & for this shitty moodboard. plus, i wanna give the hugest shoutout to @itrocksmysocks who’s been sending me pictures and stuff to help me get inspiration to write this series [thank u so much, latina neighbour!]. for now, i’m gonna update this series once in a week, then the next i’m gonna reserve the next one to write, then update on the following week and it’ll go on and on. enjoy!

pairing: tom holland x shawn mendes x reader college!tom | college!shawn

masterlist ┊add yourself to my taglists ┊give me feedbacks.

words — 3,4k; warnings — flirting, cursing, mentions of alcoholic drinks.

“People on the very back: Listen!” Mrs. Edwards shouts, banging against the board twice with her pen. “This graphic is very simple, okay? If you keep on talking and talking, it’ll become your worst nightmare and there will be no help during the final test.”

The white board had been completely taken over by lists of informations, numbers, theories  and graphics in at least 3 different colours. It’s been an hour or almost two since she started crossing the entire board with red, green, blue & black and Tom feels amazed by how well she manages to understand the entire system she’s been writing for so many time. As a class he signed for just to have some more complementary hours, he can straight tell you he’s not exactly caring about it that much. It’s way too fast and too mathematic for his mind.

All the people sitting around him in the classroom are already letting the tiredness consume them. Some are sighing and dropping their pencils; some are rubbing their faces repeatedly; some others are actually paying attention and probably trying hard not to freak out. Considering the white walls with white tables and chairs, if no one said that this is a math class, people would probably walk in and think it’s a sanatorium. All faces exhausted and it’s clear to see that at least 90% of the class can’t wait for the summer break to rescue them all — the 10% left is filled with the boys that have been sleeping for the past 30 minutes.

“Next class we’ll get back to the basic analysis to freshen up a bit, I recommend you to bring one or two books to do some research as well—“

“Hey, dude,” Jacob whispers close to Tom, sitting on the chair in front of him as he turns his head — far enough to see Tom leaning in through his peripheral, but not far enough to lose sight of Mrs. Edwards giving further endorsements. “Match tomorrow at 5?” “Sure,” Tom agrees, keeping his ‘attentive’ on the teacher in front of the class. “Have you guys picked the entire team already?” He says nonchalantly. It’s typical: In Fridays, after everyone’s last class, friendly football match with the boys from the athletic team of the Empshire University.

“Ian, Ryan, Heather and Matthew: You guys cannot miss the next class at all. You guys have been bailing for a long time and one more skip it’s deadline for the four of you—“

“Same thing,” Jacob says and Tom starts to close his books, pulling his backpack up to tuck them inside of it haphazardly. “But we’ll add John Mayer to it because Kevin’s not coming.” “You don’t have to say John Mayer, his gang’s not here,” They both look around the classroom, failing at being discreet as they search for any friends of… Well… ’John Mayer’.  Tom zips his bag close and Jacob turns around to do the same while everyone else’s already prompting themselves up to leave. “And you better put him in the defenders, far away from the frontline.” “I knew you’d say this!” They laugh under their breaths, also getting up to finally inspire some fresh air outside.

“See you next Thursday.” Mrs. Edwards says almost quietly, arranging her stuff while the room starts to get empty.

The corridor had never felt this comfy before. It’s crowded and a little bit loud but a lot better than Classroom number 9. As students from all courses starts talking to each other, Tom takes a look across the wall and spots new posters.

This wall is known as The Great Wall of Empshire —or Wall–E for the intimates. The Wall–E is a large blue wall that stands out from the regular white & grey ones of the building. Also, is where students pin folders and posters to warn the whole college about whatever seems to be relevant. It mostly holds notices of people looking for roommates, lost & found stuff, a special space painted in red for teacher’s announcements and messages from the secretariat of the university. As the results of the finals and classes stuff starts to fade away, the posters to summer parties slowly take over the big blue rectangle in the exact middle of the corridor to one of the two buildings that build the Empshire University.

Coming closer, Tom watches Missy climbing tiny–trembling stairs to glue a folder about Musical Theatre auditions. She’s sure struggling and, although he feels bad, he laughs in anyways as low as he can. Obviously, he doesn’t come out as subtle as he planned and gets a very–stressed Missy Langford slicing his entire being in two with the mad look in her blue eyes.

“You’re being very helpful by laughing,” She huffs, tapping the big poster repetitively to make sure it won’t fall for the next week. “Asshole.” “Oh, Miss, come on,” He teases, smirking like the asshole she just called him. “I thought we were over that part. Asshole! – Idiot! – Douche! Get outta here! You know? Last summer’s business, love,” Tom brings up a memory they both shared some time ago, knowing how pissed she’d get with the dialogue all over Tom’s charming accent in a playful tone, which sure has nothing to do with the atmosphere of the moment itself. “I swear to God that if this thing was any stronger, I’d jump onto your face right now.” After rolling her eyes, Missy spits at Tom and sees his smile widening stupidly. “Anyways,” Crossing arms, Tom steps closer to the Wall–E and leans against a blank space. “What’s that?” “We’re doing Hairspray,” She answers flatly. “Not that you’re allowed to subscribe, of course.” “Who said?” Tom frowns and squeaks way louder than usual. What now? Is she going to forbid him to audition to an open–invitation? “Jesus.”   Tom’s jaw falls dramatically, “Oh! Swearing to God… Talking to Jesus, apparently,” He quirks an eyebrow, faking surprise. “Didn’t know you had friends outside college.” “Will you shut the fuck up and help me get down?” Missy gives the poster one last strong tap — probably thinking about slapping Tom’s face instead — and stretches an arm towards him. “Not that you deserve it, but–“

Tom goes silent at the moment he gets his back off the wall to help Missy, noticing Jacob coming closer suddenly with someone else.

“Is it here?” The person with Jacob asks, holding a big orange poster. “Yep,” He confirms. “We call it Wall–E!” The answer to his information is just a laughter that makes Tom immediately forget about giving Missy a hand, bringing him to step closer to the conversation. “Hey man, where were you?” At the moment Tom asks, Jacob instantly gets what he’s trying to do. Not that Tom wasn’t kinda nosy sometimes, but they’ve been hanging out enough for his moves to look predictable. Way too predictable. Jacob says nothing, only squints his eyes and the silence suiting the four of them is slightly uncomfortable. “Uhm… I asked him for help as he was waiting for people to open some space so we… Could… Walk until here.” The voice is hesitant and sweet, although, while Missy eyes the person — The person looks at Tom, then looks down — Tom looks back & Jacob watches Tom prepare a whole scene inside his mind. “There’s some tape upon that tiny cabinet that you can use,” Jacob points to the front, past Tom and Missy Langford, “And if you can put it wherever you want as long as it’s in the blue area.” “Thank you so much! I’ll help myself with anything, don’t wanna take more of your time.” “No worries,” Giving a smile, Jacob walks to the side and then to Tom, offering his hand to a high–five. “I think you’ll be okay.”

As he feels the deep gaze of his friend as he passes by, Tom understands the second intentions of the phrase as if Jacob had just said “very smooth, my friend, shoot your shot” and left. It’s not that Tom Holland is a complete womanizer — the term Prince Charming fits him better, he says —but everyone who knows him decently is aware of the fact that he has no time for bullshit. No ceremony, no playing around. If Tom Holland likes someone, he’ll sure let this person know and try a move. If it goes right then awesome! And if it goes wrong he won’t go bitter about it longer than two or three seconds. He’ll eventually forget even though he doesn’t want to.

The british boy watches another struggle. Tiptoeing, the other person lifts the poster to see if it’ll fit in the only larger space left on The Great Wall as Missy climbs down the stairs by herself, analyzing the entire scene with squinted eyes.

“Here, luv,” Tom gently moves closer and takes the poster in his hands. He tiptoes as well and reaches the blank spot easier. “I think it’ll fit, don’t ya?” “It sure will!” The answer comes out in a chuckle. “I don’t believe we met, actually,” With feet back on the floor, he holds the banner while he looks directly to the owner. There’s this stupid beautiful smile adorning his face kind of shyly, but surely threatening to widen more as his fingers run through his brown hair. “I’m sorry. I’m Y/N,” She says, smiling back at him and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear and Tom notices the delicate pair of earrings shining through the locks. “Beautiful! Beautiful name,” His brows frown quickly, listening to her voice like his favourite band’s singing his favourite song of all time. His mouth wants to say ‘beautiful face too’ with ‘beautiful lips’ and a ‘beautiful eyes’, but his brain works harder to keep his dignity safe somehow. “And your name is?” Suddenly, his throat goes dry. He tries to clear it, eyes blinking rapidly and he stretches an arm to find support on the wall. The jeans on his legs goes tighter, the white t-shirt for summer weather feels hotter than a thousand coats and the backpack on his shoulder heavens like he’s carrying a bag filled with rocks. What the heck? “My name?” “No, idiot,” Missy says behind Tom. “My name.” Rolling eyes, Tom slightly turns around and clenches his jaw, looking at Missy Langford’s sarcastic face with everything but appreciation. “Will you shut the fuck up?” He mumbles through gritted teeth. “I’m tryna get lucky in here,” And this time who rolls eyes is Missy, fixing her yellow shirt and putting it back inside her blue jeans. “I’m Thomas, darlin’. You can call me Tom.”

Or future ex–boyfriend, Missy thinks to herself feeling a tiny bit of heartache annoying her chest. It’s been around four months since she argued with Tom, which led to their break–up. Well, Missy calls it a break–up. For Tom, nothing’s been broken up because what they had was just a thing, a sudden meeting of feverish hormones boiling through their bodies. No one ever kneeled down and asked gently, no one ever posted pictures online or introduced the other to their parents. He notices the way she’s still bitter about it, but after a thousand conversations and discussions, Tom had just decided to let her be until the ache goes away eventually, since his words were apparently not helping at all.

“Tom,” Y/N confirms, nodding along and looking at him. He reacts with a smile, coffee eyes drinking her in. “Thank you, Tom! I should probably go find that cabinet where the tape might be at—“ “I’ll show you!” Tom interrupts, prompting up his body and fixing his shirt. “By the way, what are you announcing? Do you need a place to stay or share?” “Oh, no! Not at all,” Y/N warns as soon as she drinks in the way Tom’s tone of voice fell worried. The boy looks down at the poster, trying to find the main information of the paper. “It’s just a party. You’re both invited, actually! It’s gonna be at my place… Tomorrow afternoon.”

Tom says nothing, just removes his eyes from the folder to look at Y/N’s charming smile. He didn’t need any more reasons to say something rather than yes — the other words slipping out of her mouth were soundless to him, his eyes were too hypnotized by the way her lips were moving; hypnotized in a way his ears stopped working for a moment but his head managed to nod along to whatever she proposed. Yes, yes and yes. A thousand times yes to whatever she just proposed.

“Well, I’ll find the tape to hang it on,” She comments, eyeing the couple as her feet start to plan their way to the middle of the corridor. “I hope you can make it.”

Her sweet smile makes it hard for Tom to think twice — not that he even considered doing this, but it’s new to him how the entire surrounding seems to slow down the pace and noise when Y/N simply breathes and smiles sweetly. This is not right, not one bit, he thinks. His heart never raced this fast before; his mouth never craved other lips as it’s doing at the moment but one thing is certain: this party’s going to ease down his thirst one way or another. Tom only realizes that Y/N went away when the frame in front of him becomes Missy. She’s got a smirk on her face and two of her fingers travel across his collarbone, right next to where his white shirt ends. She feels the warmth of his chest increasing underneath the pad of her index and middle fingers, eyes traveling across his softened expression.

“Pick me up at 2 o’clock tomorrow?” She asks rhetorically, melting slightly when he takes her hand to plant a kiss on her knuckles.

By the hand, he drags her body closer so he can murmur next to her ear the same word he’s been saying repeatedly for these past months.

“No.”

“When were you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That you were going to ditch us for that party tomorrow, you bitch!”

Shawn rolls his eyes, smiling widely as he manages to carry his backpack, water bottle and guitar case towards his car. Brian, on the other hand, doesn’t feel like smiling back.

“Answer me!”

“Dude?!” Shawn stops, putting down his case to grab the keys inside his pocket. “It’s just a football match, we do this every fucking week.”

“Exactly! We do this every fucking week—“

“Man, Y/N’s gonna be there,” He smiles again, pressing the button to unlock the doors. “You know how much I’ve been waiting for this day to come over.”

“Wasn’t she in London?” The redhead asks, walking beside his best friend as he bends down to get the guitar case once again.

Things are heavy in Shawn’s hands and back, but the thought of finally seeing Y/N again after a semester of torture shots a wave of numbness through his nerves. The blue shirt feels hotter and the black jeans are surely tighter, but the way his heart floats around his chest makes him feel light like a feather.

He misses her.

Misses her smile, her eyes, the sound of her voice and her laugh when he first talked about his feelings for her. Shawn noticed that she didn’t believe him at all, but that impression didn’t last long in his mind — the way Y/N got close to his lips to mumble sweet nothings had sent him to cloud 9. Then his trip flew down to hell just as quickly when she pulled away to walk past the door, leaving Shawn’s pout kissing the air and the side of his bed empty. Next thing he knew, Y/N was on a plane ready to spend half of the year exploring the british airs of South West London. The song he wrote about her ended up staying inside of his second drawer, but the long-sleeved jersey of his favourite Hockey team went away with her — making Shawn’s hand itch to find home on that body, taking back what’s his and what he wants to be his.

“Exactly,” He imitates Brian’s words. “Was.”

Brian says nothing, feeling defeated. His brows only lift while his eyes close, knowing that he can’t fight Shawn when he’s like this. Obsessed.

“You should come too,” He invites, putting the tip of his bottle inside his mouth to hold it while he pushes the door open. “Heard–Djulia–iths–gonha–be–ther’.”

His guitar case flies to the backseat along with his backpack, Shawn stepping to the side so Brian can tuck his stuff into the car too.

“I have no fucking idea of what you just said,” Brian tosses his bag while pointing one finger to Shawn. “But I’m not leaving my mates behind because of some girl.”

This time, the one to lift eyebrows is Shawn. His gaze narrows Brian as he hangs the driver’s door open.

“First, you know she’s not some girl,” He corrects. “Second, Julia is gonna be there. It’s a pool party, dumbass.”

While Brian walks to the passenger’s door, it’s like magic. Julia is out there, walking–dancing outside the campus with her friends around her, singing whatever song that was. His blue eyes can’t drift away from her until she’s disappearing behind the cars parked.

“Pool party?” He asks distractedly. “See, that’s the part I hadn’t understood before. I mean, I love football but you know I never say no to a party.”

Message from +44 20…: Hi!! You left before I could even ask for your number…

Y/N gets out of the shower to immediately find her phone buzzing and ringing. The screen doesn’t show the entire text, but she doesn’t need to think that much to figure it out. Opening the app, she finds a second message popping up right after.

+44 20…: I got it from the party poster, I hope you don’t mind

Her bottom lip gets trapped between her teeth, a stupid smiling drawing her face as the profile photo loads. There he is. Messy damp curls atop of a babyface, glasses in front of those chocolate eyes and bare chest. Whew. Typing, feeling like a teenager as her stomach gets butterflies, she can notice the way her breathing goes unpatterned.

You: hey, london boy. there’s no problem! i’m glad you did 😇

It’s fun to Y/N how the text got instantly seen, the ‘typing…’ showing up below the new saved contact’s name in seconds.

Tom (Empshire): 👀👀👀 Hahaha That’s good to know. I’m really looking forward to your party tomorrow

You: you’re gonna make it? that’s perfect 💓

Tom (Empshire): Of course I am! Wouldn’t miss it for the world, darling

Unconsciously, Y/N’s legs clench together just to the imagination of his accent speaking these words loud and clear to her. Even with the dripping hair and body wrapped by just a towel, she jumps on her bed before she falls to the floor.

Tom (Empshire): Do I need to bring something?? Like beers and stuff

You: not really. unless u wanna drink something specific but as long as you’re here… just don’t forget your suit, darling 😛

If she only knew that Tom was exactly how she was picturing… Bare chest, wearing glasses, damp hair and thrown onto the sofa with a boyish grin. Tom honestly couldn’t think about smooth ways to flirt with her, he felt too intimidated — almost like Tom wasn’t Tom. Who would’ve guessed that Tom Holland could watch his moves to talk with a girl?

Tom (Empshire): I won’t haha

Then he couldn’t resist.

Tom (Empshire): Anyways, can’t wait to see you again… It was lovely to meet you earlier today. Good night, pretty one!

With burning cheeks and racing heart, Y/N twists in bed as she holds her phone for dear life. Coming back to the Empshire University fell flat at first, but with the taste of London still stuck in her life somehow, this looks as interesting as being in the United Kingdom itself — with a summertime way more catching than the winter. Her limbs couldn’t stop pulsing and the anticipation ran along her most sensitive spots mercilessly, making her thighs tighten even harder with a big smile tilting up the corners of her swollen lips from all the biting.

You: good night, t. can’t way to see you too. it’ll be awesome.

taglist of girlfriends: @lostinspidey – @goldenmndes – @shawnsunflower​ – @jawnjendes​ – @itrocksmysocks​ – @emilyxkate​ – @tell-me-when-ur-ready​ – @particularnervous​ – @grayxzabdixfer – @shawnssongs​ – @arypesanchez​ – @shawnmendes-s – @shawnsheaven​ – @mylifeisafxingmess​ – @perfectywrong​ – @whysparker​ – @blairscott​

tagging mutuals [if you wanna be untagged, please sorry in advance & let me know]: @mcuspidey​ – @devilmendes​ – @snowflakeparker​ – @strangertingle – @honeyrosemuffins​.

[goldenhemmings]

Slumped - A Stealing Second Extra | Baseball!Shawn

Happy Home Run Derby Day/All-Star Break, friends!! Y’all requested an angsty Stealing Second blurb, so I present to you 4.6k words of my shitty attempt at writing angst. I hope you missed reading these two as much as I did writing them. Also...can we appreciate how pretty this picture is? Anyways, feedback is always so so appreciated. Enjoy!!!

You sighed as you flicked the TV off, running your hands over your face in frustration. The Blue Jays had shut out the Rays and racked up their third straight win, but it didn’t feel like a victory to you; it was the fifth game in a row that Shawn hadn’t hit safely. You, Shawn, the team, and the entire Toronto fanbase knew that if he didn’t soon find his batting groove, he’d be watching his team play from the dugout until he could. 

A slump is something with which nearly every baseball player is familiar; a period of time in which hitting safely just cannot seem to happen. Even the best baseball players experience slumps where, for multiple games in a row, their batting averages suffer from a lack of hits. This was what Shawn was experiencing, but the timing for it couldn’t have been worse. The potential All-Star Ballot was the topic on everyone’s tongue, and you were worried about Shawn losing MLB fans’ support to the point where he would no longer be voted onto the primary ballot as had been anticipated by not just you, but the majority of the baseball community. 

You pulled your fuzzy-sock covered feet up onto the couch and curled up, lost in your worried thoughts as the setting sun cast an orange-tinted glow across the apartment. You had intended to wait up for Shawn to get home from the game, but it wasn’t until you were waking up that you realized you’d even fallen asleep. 

You blinked the sleep out of your eyes to be met with your boyfriend standing over you, a fuzzy blanket at the ready to be draped over your once-sleeping body. The first thing he’d noticed upon walking through the front door of the apartment was how cold it was, and the second was your sleeping form curled into the couch. Shawn had only meant to cover you up to keep the chill out while you slept, but his clumsy (though well-intentioned) actions quickly woke you up. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he whispered. “It’s just cold in here. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” you mumbled groggily, sitting up slowly and rubbing your eyes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

At this he smiled, and you offered a lazy one back as you blinked your eyes a little more. As you came-to, you noticed that it was now pitch black outside, Shawn was still sweaty, and you became aware of the fact that you hadn’t even remembered falling asleep. “What time is it?” 

Shawn sighed, leaning against the arm of the sofa. For the first time since waking up, you took note of how uncharacteristically exhausted he looked. He was always tired after a game, yes, but you had never seen him like this. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes droopy, and his hair was matted to his head. It worried you. 

“It’s almost one,” he finally muttered, his eyes staring down at his feet. 

“In the morning?” you cried, the post-nap haze completely gone. “Fuck, Shawn, I’m sorry. You should have woken me up earlier so I could’ve made you dinner or something.”

Shawn just shrugged. “‘S okay, honey. I just got home, anyways.”

You hadn’t thought it possible, but your worry intensified. “It’s one a.m., Shawn,” you began, carefully. “How could you possibly just now be getting home? Did something happen?”

“Relax, honey, I’m fine,” he assured you, and you let out a heavy breath. “I just stayed to do a few hours of batting practice on my own. Got Eric to leave the cages open for me.”

“Shawn,” you sighed, leaning your head in your hands. “You shouldn’t be doing extra hitting after a three-hour-long game, especially not when you have another one tomorrow. You’re going to wear yourself out and then you’re just gonna get hurt.”

“I just have to get out of this bullshit slump or Montoyo is gonna bench me,” he groaned, voice raspy from exhaustion. 

“Taking hours of extra batting practice isn’t going to change the fact that you’re in a slump, love. It happens to every single player in the league.”

He didn’t respond, instead turning to walk towards your shared bedroom with his head hanging. 

“You should shower,” you pressed as you got up to follow him, though it was clear the only thing Shawn wanted to do was crawl into bed with you and sleep. “A hot one. You’ve gotta be sore from all that extra practice.”

“Tomorrow,” he grumbled, tugging his shirt over his head as he prepared to join you in bed. 

“Shawn,” you continued, more sternly this time. “Your shoulders are gonna—”

“Can we compromise and do Icy Hot or something? I love you, and I love you for caring, but if I don’t go to sleep in the next five minutes I’ll die.”

You sighed, your eyes taking in his exhausted frame and pleading eyes. “Okay,” you finally agreed, swinging your legs over the side of the bed to stand up. “Is it still in the medicine cabinet?”

Shawn just nodded, and you ventured into the bathroom to retrieve the trusty pain reliever. You came back to find Shawn already sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for the cream to be applied so that he could sleep. 

“I’m assuming you want me to do it for you?” you teased, and Shawn let out a tiny laugh. 

“Yes, please,” he replied, and you crawled around behind him on the bed and began to work the Icy Hot into his shoulders and upper arms. 

It was silent at first, but only because you were taking time to calculate what you wanted to say. You knew Shawn was stressing himself out over his batting average and All-Star Game votes, but a year ago he’d never have cared about something like that. His main focus had always been to just relax and play the game he loved; the second he lost that mentality was when things started to go awry. 

“I know,” you began carefully, delicate fingers still pressing the Icy Hot into his skin, “that you’re worried about your hitting. But every player has a slump at some point in his career, and it’s only your second major league season. This doesn’t take away from your talent or what you’ve done for your team and what you will do for it as the season goes on.”

He let out a heavy breath, some of the pent-up tension leaving his shoulders. “I just feel like I’m letting everyone down. Last season I finished with the second highest average on the team and now, what? I can’t even put the ball into play?”

You sighed, capping the Icy Hot and moving to sit next to Shawn on the edge of the bed. “You have to stop getting caught up in all the numbers, Shawn. When you were a rookie, it was about playing because you loved the game. Now you’re way too focused on meeting expectations and outdoing yourself and that’s not the way to approach this sport. You know how much Toronto fans love you as a player. A little slump will never change that, so just let it run its course.” 

He crawled under the covers, letting out a heavy exhale of breath. “I know. But I’m allowed to worry about it.”

You smiled, lifting his arm so that you could slide under it and lay your head on his chest. Shawn wrapped his arm around your torso and tugged your body closer to him, reaching to pull the sheets up over you with the other hand. “Of course you’re allowed to worry about it, it’s your job. But if I’m being honest, I miss the Shawn that was so geeked just to be playing in the majors that he didn’t stress about his batting average, or any of his other stats, for that matter. You used to have so much fun playing that you were just good, always.”

“That Shawn didn’t have to worry about the pressure of All-Star Game voting.”

“Well, this Shawn needs a break. And I miss him.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head and sighed, knowing you were right. “Let’s do something tomorrow, yeah?” You perked up, tilting your chin up to face him. “My game is in the afternoon so I’ll come straight home after and we can have dinner together.”

“Really?”

He hummed his affirmation. “No stressing about my hitting and no extra practice.”

“It’s a date, Mendes,” you giggled, and he smiled. “Now, go to sleep. I know you’re exhausted.”

--------------------

Another game without a hit went by, and you had to force yourself to stay positive--for Shawn’s sake. He’d be home for dinner in an hour or two depending on how long the post-game press conference took, and you were excited to finally have time with not Shawn Mendes, Toronto Blue Jays second baseman, but just Shawn. 

You set to work on making his favorite meal, softly singing to the music coming from the speaker on the kitchen counter as you did so. It took over an hour, but you managed to finish dinner, set the table, and clean the kitchen all before 8:00, which is when Shawn promised to be home. You sat down at the table and texted Shawn asking if he was close, scrolling through your phone to distract yourself as you waited.

And wait you did. 

You were still sat at the table after a ridiculously long period of time had passed, head in your hands as you illuminated your phone screen just in time to watch the clock change from 8:59 to 9:00. You stared at the table of food in front of you and willed yourself to have an appetite for it, but you hadn’t been hungry since about fifteen minutes into sitting at the table to wait for Shawn. As if on cue, your phone finally lit up with a text from your absentee boyfriend. 

Hey honey. I’m staying at the cages so I’m not gonna make dinner tonight. 

You groaned as though you hadn’t figured that out forty-five minutes ago. You didn’t bother responding, opting instead to just get up from the table and take a shower in the hopes that it would calm you down. You were fuming mad over the fact that Shawn had not only broken his promise to you, but that he hadn’t even had the courtesy to text you hours ago that he wasn’t coming. You left the food all out on the table; you’d slaved all night making a meal for Shawn that he never even showed up to eat, and you were absolutely going to make that apparent. 

You had to have spent at least thirty minutes standing under the stream of hot water, but by the time you got out and changed into comfy clothes, there was still no sign of Shawn. You crawled under the covers of your bed and flicked on the TV to MLB Network, catching the final ten minutes of that night’s Quick Pitch, but it wasn’t like you were watching it anyways; you were too distracted with your own thoughts.

It wasn’t until after ten that you could hear Shawn make his way through the front door, knowing he could see all of the food still out on the table. He eventually made his way into your shared bedroom, calling out to you in greeting and leaning down to press a kiss against your head. You were silent and unmoving, but Shawn kept talking about the game, the press conference, and his hitting. It took a few minutes for him to even realize that you were unresponsive, and out of the corner of your eye you could see him pause and turn to face you. 

“Hey. What’s going on?”

You scoffed at the fact that he’d even had to ask that question. “You promised dinner.”

He sighed as the point of your silent treatment suddenly became apparent. “I stayed in the cages for extra batting practice. I texted you.”

As if that makes it better. “You couldn’t have let me know that any earlier than an entire hour after you said you’d be home?”

He sighed, but there was aggravation behind it. “I said I was sorry. I needed the extra BP more than I needed to have dinner with you.”

“Whatever, Shawn,” you snapped, letting out a dry, incredulous laugh. “I’m sorry your shitty batting average has to keep coming between our relationship.”

You turned your attention back to the TV and pretended to care about the show that was on. Shawn, however, wasn’t done. “Why are you being like this? Do you not want me to get back on track? To not make the All-Star Game?”

“What I want, Shawn,” you snapped, losing your restraint, “is for my boyfriend to miss spending time with me the way I miss spending time with him.” You shook your head before pressing it back down into the pillows. “And for him to understand that a promise is a promise. Some things are more important than baseball.”

“You of all people should understand that there’s nothing more important to me than baseball. It’s my fucking job.”

“It’s my job too, Shawn!” you exploded, choosing to overlook his admittance that nothing, not even you, was more important than baseball. At the end of the day, it was still only a game; Shawn just didn’t seem to get that anymore. “You don’t think it’s hard for me from a PR standpoint when one of our star players can’t hit for shit right now? You literally couldn’t even hit water if you fell out of a boat, and I have to spin that to the fans to keep your name on their minds for All-Star voting. If you’re going to act like you’re the only one affected by this you have another thing coming. You are not the only player on that team and you know every single person that’s involved with or a fan of the Jays is rooting for you to get better.”

He scoffed, tugging his shirt over his head and tossing it in the direction of the hamper. “Well, I’m sorry to be such a burden on you.”

You paused, taking a steadying breath before continuing a bit more calmly. “That’s not the point. I want you to get better, Shawn. But you act like you’re going through this alone when you definitely are not, and I don’t want you to throw me on the backburner. I’m trying here, okay? And I don’t deserve that.” 

“I’m taking a shower,” was all he had to say, and you couldn’t hide the hurt on your face as you watched him stalk into the bathroom and shut the door harshly behind him. 

--------------------

You looked up from your work upon hearing a knock at the doorframe of your office, and clicked out of the video you were watching as you recognized Cassidy at the door. “Hey,” you mused, eyeing the bubbly brunette standing in front of you. “What’s up?”

She simply pointed to her wrist as though she was wearing a watch. “Game’s gonna start soon. You’d better get down there if you want to catch Shawn beforehand.”

You sighed, leaning back in your chair. All day, you’d been grappling with whether or not you even still wanted to go see him after the events of last night. Picking up on your hesitancy, Cassidy frowned. “Did something happen?”

“He stood me up for dinner last night.”

Cassidy’s eyes went wide. She stepped fully inside your office and shut the door behind her, pulling a chair up to the other side of your desk so that she was facing you. “What?”

“I hardly get to see him because of this stupid slump he’s in, and because of that he agreed to have dinner with me last night instead of going to the batting cages after the game, which is what he’s been doing for the past week.”

“And he didn’t show?” she gasped.

You shook your head bitterly. “I spent hours making food for us and I sat at the table forever waiting for him to get there, and then--get this--I get a text an hour later saying he’s staying at the stadium for batting practice after all. Even though he promised me he’d be home.”

“Holy shit,” Cassidy breathed out, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t blame you for not wanting to see him. I’d be pissed.”

“I am pissed,” you sighed, but there was more to it than that. “But I also just miss him. What sucks is that all he can see right now is his batting average, and he’s stressing himself out like crazy. He’ll never get better with the mindset he’s in.”

“So what are you gonna do?” Cassidy wondered, leaning forward to rest her hands on your desk.

“I don’t know. What do you think I should do?”

She shrugged. “I’m not you, Y/N. I can’t tell you.”

“Ugh,” you groaned, staring up at the ceiling. “I’ll probably end up going to see his dumb ass anyways.”

Cassidy laughed, and you couldn’t help but grin despite yourself. “I’ll save you a seat in the clubhouse. You are still watching the game here, right?”

You nodded, reaching to grab your purse from a drawer in your desk. “Of course. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

“Good luck,” she said, offering a reassuring smile as you both went your separate ways. You took your usual path to the first floor Stadium Access door, following the familiar route to the little room outside the Jays’ locker room where you always met Shawn. As you walked, it occurred to you that maybe he would be the one to not show up. After all, he’d seemed equally as upset with you as you were with him even though, in your mind, he was obviously being the unreasonable one. 

You took a deep breath before pushing the familiar door open, and sure enough, you were met with Shawn standing in full uniform waiting for you. You almost breathed a sigh of relief. He cleared his throat, sheepishly rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. “I thought you weren’t going to come.”

You sighed, taking in his tired expression before quietly admitting the truth. “I’ll always come.”

It was silent for a bit longer than was comfortable, but you were fine with it; you had nothing to say to him until he apologized to you, and if you had to stand here and stare at him until the game started, then so be it. But, right on cue, Shawn once again cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry for skipping dinner.” You nodded, prompting him to continue. “And for being an asshole about it. I’m just stressed as hell about my hitting.”

“I get it,” you replied, studying his face carefully. “Trust me, I do. But your being stressed isn’t an excuse to toss me aside until you get over it.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I’ve been obsessing over it, and I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this.”

“I just miss you.”

He took a step towards you, reaching out to grab your hands. “I miss you too, honey. Always.” You nodded, taking a heavy breath as you looked into the brown eyes you loved, which stared back at you apologetically. “I’m sorry. Really, I am.”

“Okay,” you conceded. It was impossible to be upset with him when he was giving you that face. “And, look, I don’t know what your hitting coaches have been telling you about this slump, but I had some ideas, and--”

“Hold on,” he smirked, cutting you off. “What happened to leaving it alone? ‘Letting it run its course,’ as I believe you put it?” 

You huffed, and he chuckled. “We both know neither of us actually want that if this--” you gestured between the two of you-- “is what it’s going to turn into. So, your hitting. Have you tried anything new at all?”

He quirked his head to the side, his expression a mixture of amusement and perplexity. “What’re you getting at?”

“I don’t want to overstep, so--”

He interjected again, this time with a laugh. “Just tell me, honey. Now I’m intrigued.”

“Your batting stance,” you blurted, watching his face carefully. “Have you thought about switching it up?”

“Y/N, I can’t just change my swing.”

“I’m not asking you to change your swing, I’m asking you to change your stance. Just hear me out, please. I promise I’m not going to say something as crazy as you think I will.”

He was silent, thinking, before nodding for you to continue. You took a breath, planning your words carefully. “I started studying other players who’ve had slumps this season and something about Cody Bellinger specifically struck me.”

“You hate that guy,” Shawn laughed, and you rolled your eyes playfully. 

“I hate his team, actually, but regardless; I think what he did to his batting stance might work for you.”

“Which was?” he prompted, completely tuned-in. 

“His natural stance is tall, almost completely straight up. No bend in his knees. But I was watching clips from his last few at-bats, because he’s been hitting really well again, and his stance is different. He stands closer to the plate and he bends more, which creates a smaller strike-zone.”

“That’s baseball 101,” Shawn added, to which you nodded.

“Right, that’s nothing revolutionary. But by changing his stance a little bit, his swing changed minorly, too. He puts more weight on his back foot which gives more power to his swing. And it worked; his average is back up. Have you watched back any clips of your last few at-bats just to see how they look?”

“You know I don’t like doing that. Feels weird,” he mumbled, and you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face. Always so humble. 

“I figured you’d say that, which is why I talked to a friend in the media department so that I could start watching footage of you. And I think that if you were to get rid of some of the bend in your waist and bend your knees more instead, it might help. I noticed from the clips I was watching that you’ve been fouling the ball into the dirt a lot more than normal. And when you do make contact, it’s almost always a choppy grounder that ends up being an easy out.”

“So I’m consistently only hitting the top of the ball,” Shawn mused. 

“Exactly. And I think that by making your stance a little tighter and lower to the plate, you’ll be getting all of the ball instead of just the top of it, which obviously increases your chances at hitting safely. I’m not promising it’ll work, but I think it’s a better solution than taking two-hundred practice pitches after you’ve just played an entire game. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, slowly, nodding his head as he began to process what you were saying. “So basically just straighten my torso but put more of a bend in my knees.”

“Exactly.”

“Thanks coach,” he teased, smirking. “I’ll start working on it after tonight.”

You felt your face fall a little. “Why not right now?”

“I’m not gonna have time to do more BP before the game today,” he shrugged. “I have to practice with a new stance before I try it in a game.”

“Says who?” you argued, not missing Shawn’s skeptical expression. “You’re a talented player, so trust yourself. Take advantage of your time on-deck; time your swings to the pitches and practice with the modified stance.”

He shrugged, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t know, honey.”

“It’s up to you,” you began, a teasing glint in your eye. “But if it doesn’t work at least Vlad Jr. can pick up your slack.”

He laughed, and so did you. “Ouch.”

“There’s a new rookie in town.”

“Does this mean you’ll finally stop calling me Rookie?”

“Oh, of course not. Just makes it even more fun.”

He rolled his eyes, and right then you could hear the loudspeaker broadcasting that it was time for the ceremonial first pitch. Shawn pulled you into him by your waist and pressed a kiss to your lips--one that said thank you and I’m sorry and I love you all at once. You pulled away and smiled at him, smoothing your hands over the lettering on the front of his jersey

“Bend your knees more, and use the on-deck circle,” you reminded him, and he nodded and shot you the closed-mouth smile that still made your stomach flutter. 

“You got it, coach.”

You laughed as he started for the locker room so that he could get to the field, his metal cleats echoing all the way there. You turned to leave as well, heading back down the corridor towards the offices. When you got to the clubhouse and claimed the seat Cassiday was saving you next to her, your PR team greeted you with the same warmth and happiness as always, reminding you just how lucky you were to be in your position. 

“How did it go?” Cassidy asked amidst the pre-game chatter of your coworkers.

“We’re gonna find out,” you replied, heart beginning to race with anticipation as you turned your attention to the TV screen just in time for the Orioles’ first batter. The top half of the first inning was executed without a hitch, the Blue Jays getting three outs quickly. When it came time for the Jays to hit, your nerves really kicked in. You felt Cassidy lay a comforting hand on your arm, and you could only smile in thanks before refocusing on the game. 

Thanks to a few easy hits from the batters at the top of the lineup, Shawn saw his first plate appearance of the game in the first inning. “Is it just me,” Curt began as Shawn stepped into the batters’ box, “or did Mendes change his stance?”

“It’s different,” you answered hastily, knee bouncing as you watched Shawn choppily swing and miss at the first pitch he saw. “He’s trying something new.”

“Hopefully it works,” Lynn chimed in from across the room. “Your boyfriend needs to hit.”

“Tell me about it,” you mumbled, as the second pitch came down in the dirt and was called a ball.

“Breathe,” Cassidy reminded you, and you let out a heavy exhale of breath you hadn’t noticed you’d been holding in. 

Just when it seemed that all hope for the new batting stance was gone, Shawn stuck his bat out on a 3-2 count and managed to actually make contact. You instinctively leaped up from the couch, hands folded over your mouth as you silently willed the ball to hit the grass of the outfield before the Orioles’ center fielder could get to it and get Shawn out. 

Your wish was granted when the ball hit the grass, Shawn safely reaching first as your coworkers cheered around you. It was about as pathetic as singles came, but it was still a hit. The camera cut to Shawn on first base, readjusting his batting gloves as he talked to the first base coach, an adorable, brilliant smile plastered on his face that surely matched your own. You could feel Cassidy squeezing your shoulders in excitement, but all you could do was focus on the boy on the television, still grinning as he took a two-step leadoff, focused on the pitcher. You already couldn’t wait to see him after the game. 

Slump over.

Thank you for reading!! Feedback makes me very happy.

Taglist (I’m so sorry if it wouldn’t let me tag you, and if you’d like to be removed from the taglist for these extras that’s no prob, just let me know!!): @ashwarren32 @d-arkestangel @idkseavey @yellowitsmendes @north1692 @calistheloml @perfectlywrongfm @gentleshawn @mariemmendes @shawnsmercy @wildest-dream- @shortieshake @shadowsndaisies @yourwonderbelle @madon566 @ruinmeshawn @itrocksmysocks @just-another-fan-girl-for-you @ilovejackavery @vnv21 @twoisalwaysbetterthan1 @planstonightbaby @lou-la-lou @greteeweetee @shawnyimagines @helpmemendes @overactiveimaginati0n @princessflutterwolf @justjustyncase @cali--marie @falling-stars-never-cry @ashftshawn @captaincorbyn @colorful-dodie @andreburakovskyyyyyyy @giveme-gaskarth @ayetami @x-seventeen-x @onlynarry @to-the-road @hollandechart @princessmendes13 @rare-breed-of-human @iamamuggleborn @prettymuchboodup @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @jc-paramore @etherealchar @ykicantbefoundwithyou @choripxn @noodleboyluke @petit-funsize @heavenly—-holland @the-claire-bitch-project @calumasfuckkkk @sleepybesson @shawnshufflepuff @zankivich @justanothergirl-80 @qxeen-of-hearts @begging-mnds @shawnsvlogsquad @thewackywriter @jbird-92 @yourkidsfavbabysitter @sociallyakwardb @gentlethunderstorm @bucky-ish

[zontiky]

Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today

i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK??? 

so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley

obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”

the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry

so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked

“that’s not a name”

“is too”

diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO

luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink

diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm

ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient

OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her

you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up

WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does

diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised

you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd

her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents

klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther

yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober

but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent

shoutout to klaus

five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN 

galaxy brain

so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work

i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit

ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH

additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay

vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so

so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say

harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy

hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk

SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT

AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”

eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time

eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf

then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack

diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”

‘um’

“you live somewhere right???”

‘UM’

they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely

so they register and foster five

diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright

then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day

so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”

THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK

claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother

this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay

hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS

five beats everybody at scrabble

diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating

vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down

luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive

allison is the QUEEN of blurt! 

ben is so good at charades it’s unfair

klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)

five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what

“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”

whaaaaaaat

so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond

five: mind blown

THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM

BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME

FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS

THEY ALL LOVE SEALS

five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying 

five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)

i want to say. okay so.

reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies

so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!

so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom

she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok

basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time

wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth

sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES

the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong

hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch

five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!

SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU

THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU

[ehstarwar]

by chance or natures changing course (1/1)

Dating had never been an area where Rey excelled.

And it had been made unfathomably harder when she met a certain Mr. Darcy-esque man. Her beautiful, sweet, unattainable roommate, Ben.

-

Based on @reylo_prompts: Rey joins tinder after a long long dry spell due to her flatmate Kylo’s derision, they argue about why and in a fit of jealousy Kylo screams out ‘use me instead”.

-

Rating: Explicit 

Word Count: 5.4K

Read on AO3

A/N: thank you to @reylo_prompts for this amazing spark of inspiration!! we stan two (2) idiot space babes who just wanna get freaky ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

-

The echo of her footsteps in the hallway is loud even to her. She’s not stomping, she’s sulking. Shitty Date #7 is only one in a never ending list of spectacularly awful experiences Rey has been forced to endure as of late. 

#7 was late, a picky eater, of the ‘forgotten his wallet’ variety, had breath that smelled suspiciously of rotten eggs, and had STILL attempted to get her to come home with him. Rey would have loved to utilize the feminine rage that had accumulated through a life of womanhood, but her kind demeanor still prevailed. A meek ‘oh, I can’t! I’ve got an early start tomorrow!’ was given and semi-accepted before shuffling off to the bus station before he could give the whole ‘we should do this again’ spiel. 

It was disappointing, to say the least.

Not as disappointing as #2 who had been an excellent candidate up until she found out he was the head of the Young Republicans of Chandrilla or #5 who didn’t show up until the movie was halfway over and at the rest of her popcorn. 

Dating had never been an area where Rey excelled. 

And it had been made unfathomably harder when she met a certain Mr. Darcy-esque man, who liked to cook, to clean, to debate her favorite TV shows until they’re both blue in the face, went to the gym and didn’t post about it, actually tipped when ever they went out to eat, used better shampoo than any female in her life. Her beautiful, sweet, unattainable roommate, Ben.

Ben, who didn’t even flinch when she closed the front door too hard or tugged her scarf off with too much force. He just continued standing over the pot on the stove, rhythmically stirring whatever was creating a delicious aroma though the house.

“You’re back early,” He states, still not turned. Rey humphs indignantly and sits at the bar, watching him work.

“A dud,” She says, “an utter dud.” Rey can see the muscles in his back shift and she just knows he’s smirking.

“Someone probably should have warned you about that.”

Rey sighs and rolls her eyes. “Just because Kaydel suggested I go out with him does not warrant suspicion. She has impeccable taste with her boyfriends!”

Ben adds a bit of a spice she cannot pronounce before taking the pot off the stove to cool. When Ben turns around he’s wearing the smirk Rey knew he would be, and a dish cloth tossed over his shoulder like he’s the young, innovative chef at a restaurant that will gain tons of clout on instagram. 

“Kaydel’s boyfriends are always top notch because she keeps the good ones for herself. If she sets you up with a guy that has even the possibility of being worthy, it will have been a missed opportunity for her. So,” He gestures, “you get the scraps she doesn’t want.”

“Kaydel is not that cold hearted.”

“She’s an opportunist; it’s different.”

Rey sighs. Ben wordlessly grabs too bowls from the cabinet and pours each of them a generous helping of what looks to be tomato soup. Rey doesn’t have to have a bite to know it’s delicious.

-

They eat in relative silence before making their way to the couch. Rey only kicks off her ‘fancy shoes’, still clad in her date attire, but Ben is wearing his daily uniform but still looks like he could’ve walked right out of a Ralph Lauren spread. It would be more infuriating if he weren’t so good to look at.

They watch some inane comedy that neither of them particularly enjoy the content of, but rather the vicious comments they can make on individuals lives that will in no way affect the world around them. 

“That hair looks like it’s come straight from the 80’s.”

“He must have really stretched his resume when he added ‘singer’ on there.”

“I make more in a day than what they clearly spent on their entire CGI budget.”

It’s a good way to unwind and get out all the venom without actually damaging anything. On occasion, there is a seemingly bad movies that actually end up giving the small bit of joy and thoughtfulness that makes them actually enjoy it for the content, but those are less fun. 

But this particular movie does give Rey a devious idea. 

“I should do that,” She say, after a few minutes of silence. Ben continues to watch, but does look confused.

“Do what?” He questions.

“Get Tinder. Try to find a good lay the up-to-date way.” 

Ben immediately shifts to glare at her. 

“Do be unreasonable.” 

Rey faces him, confused.

“Unreasonable?” She repeats. 

“You don’t need Tinder.” Ben turns back to the TV and adjusts his sitting position. 

“I’m not sure if you’ve been made aware, but I’ve just been on the worst dating trend I’ve ever been on since I’ve started dating! In all honesty, it’s a little unreasonable I’m not already on there!”

Ben scoffs. “Tinder is finding someone to fuck, not to date. There are too many weirdos who just assume its for hook-ups.”

“There are plenty of weirdos out there already! I’ve even been on dates with them! I can handle a few creeps on an app.”

“At least the guys you’ve gone out with have been known and recommend by friends, so they’re not total strangers. You meet a guy off a dating app and there’s no way to make sure he’s who he says he is.”

“I’m not gonna end up on Catfished, Ben. There are plenty of normal men looking for a quick romp before being on their way, and this may be the path I use to find them.”

Ben dramatically rolls his eyes before standing up and stalking into the kitchen. Rey quickly follows him, determined to get to the bottom of his reluctance of her plan for some unknown reason.

“Why don’t you think getting Tinder is a good plan, give me an honest answer,” She asks him once they’re in the kitchen together. Ben has started clearing their plates and cleaning them in the sink with more force than necessary. 

“I’ve just given you my reason, I don’t think I need to repeat myself,” He scoffs, making Rey see red.

“It’s not a good reason, but whatever. If you think friend recommendations are so much better than Tinder, then tell me who you choose.” Rey all but stomps her foot as she glares at Ben who has his eyes trained on the soapy water in the sink.

“I don’t have any good recommendations,” He says through gritted teeth.

“That’s ridiculous, Benjamin. You work for First Order! It’s practically bursting with young, ambitious men who I just know would be down for a one night stand!”

“The people who work at First Order are monsters,” Ben says. A hard scrub on one of the bowls makes a splash of water drench his shirt and get soap in his hair that had fallen in his eyes.

“What about Armie? What about you? Do you really think you’re a monster?” She practically shouts at him. 

Ben’s head snaps up. “Yes I am.” He says it with such conviction that part of Rey’s heart aches.

It’s clear that this conversation has devolved into something much deeper and Rey isn’t sure either of them are in the right head space to continue down the path before them. Instead, Rey opts to roll her eyes and lift her arms in defeat. 

“You’re not a monster, Ben but you are a bit of a dumbass. All I want is to get fucked to relieve some of the tension that has clearly infiltrated this conversation, and you can’t even offer one measly name up to help you ‘best friend’ out. I just don’t have-”

“Just use me!”

The air in the house stills. 

Rey stands in the middle of the kitchen, feeling a bit in shock, staring back at Ben who seems equally surprised. He doesn’t speak any more, not to take back or clarify or say ‘ha! made ya look!’

They stand there, in silence, letting the words hang in the balance. 

“…What?” Rey finally asks, voice light and low and for a moment she’s not sure he even heard her.

“Use me. If you want,” He says, still not moving.

Rey has to avert her eyes, because looking at Ben right now is too much. Ben, who cooks her food when she comes home from a bad date. Ben, who covers her part of the rent when money is too tight and never asks her to pay him back. Ben, who is so beautiful it hurts to look at but still somehow believes he’s a monster. Ben, who just offered himself up to Rey on a silver platter after she spent the better part of the last 10 minutes yelling at him.

“For sex?” She asks redundantly.

“For sex.” he responds. 

Rey picks at her finger nails, eyes still downcast. 

“Rey,” The way he says her name feels different now and makes her look up, “do you want that?” Ben is good at hiding his emotions, aways shrouded behind a mask of indifference or anger. Right now, his face seems impassive as he waits for her to respond, but Rey can tell there’s fear there. It’s subtle, and Rey may be the only person in the galaxy to recognize its presence, but it’s there.

She nods. A small breath of relief escapes his lips. 

Ben resumes washing the dishes, confusing Rey. She stands there, looking at him putter around the kitchen until it’s clean enough for his standsrds, then walks right past her and down the hall. Like a new puppy, she follows him, trailing him and stopping at his door that he’s walked into. 

It’s open and Ben sitting on the edge of the bed removing his shoes. Rey stands awkwardly in the doorway, not trusting her voice enough to ask him what was going on. 

She looks at his bed, large and imposing (much like it’s owner), and a new sensation trickles down her spine. He’s going to fuck me on this bed she thinks. It’s only then she notices how the anticipation just from the last few minutes has made her… damp. 

“Rey, are you going to come in?” He asks her, standing again. 

“Do you want me to?”

He smirks.

“Get on the bed.” It’s a command, not a question. She does as he says, pulling herself on her knees in the middle of the bed, still fully dressed. She stares back at Ben as he watches her climb. When she stills, he speaks again.

“What are you comfortable with?” He asks. Rey bites her lip as she tries to think of anything Ben could do to her now that she wouldn’t welcome with open arms. She comes up blank.

“Anything.”

He cocks his head as he appraises her, making Rey feel like her skin is on fire and the wetness in her underwear become significantly greater.

“Anything?” He repeats. She nods. “Then why don’t you tell me what need me to do to you.”

“I need you to fuck me,” She says without hesitation, gaining a small chuckle from him.

“That much I know. What else?” He pulls his shirt off in one swift motion, leaving his chest bare and still slight damp from where the water splashed on him. Her mouth goes dry. “Use your words, Rey,” He chides as he goes to unbuckle his belt.

“Your fingers…” She begins as she watches the digits maneuver with elegance out of the metal belt buckle.

“What about them?” He asks as his pants fall and he steps out of him. Only his underwear is left now, and Rey can see the more than impressive bulge held behind the black material.

She thinks of the dildo she invested a whole months worth of income in that she theorized was the exact size of him. She was wrong. 

“I want you… to get me off. With your fingers. And your…” Her cheeks flame as she is unable to finish the sentence. 

“Say it, Rey.”

“I want you to get me off with… your cock.” 

Ben looks all too smug for being the least dressed in the room. She can see the thrill of satisfaction he got from hearing her words and it in turn thrills her as well. His eyes rake over her again and she’s suddenly self conscious. 

“Take off your dress,” He says. She follows instantly, tossing it to the side of the room, leaving her only in a bra, panties, and stockings. They’re black and sparkly and Rey hopes it makes her look more enticing to him. 

Ben’s hand grabs her by the ankle when she’s done, and gently pulls her closer to the edge of the bed, where he still stands. 

“So… my fingers, my cock… what about my mouth?” He asks, using his pointer finger to trace up her leg, over her hips and stomach, around her pert nipple that sticks out through the fabric, and up to her chin.

“That too.”

“Where?” He whispers, lowering his face right in front of hers.

“Anywhere,” She breaths. 

His lips connect with hers in the next breath. Soft, chaste kisses, planted neatly on her lips as her arms come up to his shoulders. She pulls him closer as he deepens the kiss, tongue slipping into her mouth with no resistance. Ben kisses her like he’s dependent on it to breathe, like his whole existence was conjured so that he could be in this exact position. There is teeth clashing and nose bumping but it only make the kiss that much hotter. 

He guides her further onto the bed, pulling her up with him as he spreads out above her. Her legs have parted naturally, letting him slot between her. She feels the warm boxer fabric rub against the tension of her stocking and wishes that he’d told her to get naked. She whines into his mouth, but he swallows it up.

His hands go to the elastic of her stocking and attempt to pull them off her legs. They’re hard to get off when you’re full attention in on them, but now it seems impossible. They catch on the swells of her hips before Ben tears them off her.

Oh well, she think, they would’ve gotten a run in them anyways. 

His hands run up and down her legs, palms nearly encompassing a whole thigh in one. His lips move to the column of her throat, planting wet, hot kisses down to her chest. Rey lies boneless beneath him, letting Ben do what he wills. His thumb traces the crotch of her panties suddenly, making her jump. Ben shushes her as his body comes over hers like a weighted blanket.

His fingers tease her soaked undergarments, making Rey whine for more. She arches into him when his hand falls away, and she chases his touch.

“Ben…” She cries, sounding pathetic even to her own ears. 

“Hmm?” He makes a noise into her chest as his tongue traces the outline of her nipple through the scrappy material of her bra. 

“Want… more… said you’d… fuck me…” She mewls. All at once, Ben pulls back from her, but keeps his hands on her torso, holding her down.

“And you greedy little thing said you wanted my fingers and my cock.”

Rey full on pouts, using everything in her arsenal for this one.

“Then why haven’t you given me one of them?” The smugness from Ben’s face drops as his lips crash on hers. Rey feels his hand go to cup her core before ripping off her underwear just like her stockings.

Well… they were impractical anyways.

Fingers trace her folds, always managing to avoid brushing over her clit with a precision that is making Rey crazed. She’s about to chide him, taunt Ben for not giving her what she’d been promised when he sticks one into her the same time his thumb pushes on her clit. Rey has to bite the inside of her cheek from screaming too loud. 

“So wet for me… dripping all over yourself like a little whore…” He says. Rey could cry. How does this man know the right buttons to push? How can he say exactly the right thing that makes Rey loose it? She can’t think of how he knows she likes this because he’s pushing in a second finger just behind the first.

Ben moans against her lips. “If two is a stretch… my cock might ruin you.”

“Please,” She begs, “… want you to ruin me.”

Ben grunts as he works faster, rocking her on his fingers just like it would be if he was fucking her. Just like it would be when he’s fucking her. He’s promised, hasn’t he?

Rey feels all the tell-tale signs of an approaching orgasm, in significantly less time than it takes for her to get herself there. It would be a little humiliating if it didn’t feel so. fucking. good. 

“You’re gonna be a good little whore for me… right? You’re gonna… you’re gonna come all over daddy’s hand? Hmmm?” He questions into her skin. Rey’s nails dig into the meet of his shoulder, brought to the brink of nirvana when she hears the name.

“Yes… Yes daddy… gonna be so good… good for you..” Her voice is breathless and light and her body feels like a live wire. His thumb works incessantly on her, and when the third finger breeches her opening, Rey is lost.

Her hands grip any part of Ben they can find purchase on, her chest bowing into his, head thrown back and eyes closed in ecstasy. Her body trembles beneath his, but his fingers still push into her in a rhythmic pattern. He works her through it, muttering praises and endearments like ‘so good for daddy’ or ‘take what you need sweetheart.’

Rey thinks this must be what it feels like the first time you experience a hard drug. An addiction blooms in her body with the first taste, and she hasn’t really even touched Ben yet. 

Ben lays her on the bed, adjusting her so that she’s on a pillow and her hair is fanned out. Rey feels her cunt pulse, and knows that despite her organs, her body is no where near done. Ben looks like he feels the same.

His hands massage her body, running from the tips of her toes to her hair line. When his paws come up to the only piece of fabric still adorning her body, Rey places her hands on his.

“No these, please… bra’s are hard to find…” Rey tells Ben. While he seems displeased that he’s not able to display another manly bravado of ripping more clothes off her, he does resign himself to reaching under her, unhooking the fabric, and guiding her out of the bra. When he tosses it off the bed, Rey snatching his hand and brings it to her mouth, placing sloppy kisses on it in lieu of thanks.

The scratchy material of his boxers rubs agains the side of her thighs, where he’s resting between, remind them both that there’s one more thing to shed. Ben looks at her, waiting for something, but Rey keeps laving his hands with her wet kisses.

Something grows dark in his eyes when he speaks again.

“If we do this…” he starts, “it can’t be undone.” It’s a loaded statement that is able to say so much with so little. A talent of Ben’s that Rey will forever be in awe of.

“I know,” She whispers against his skin. 

Whatever he was waiting for, that must have been it. Ben quickly stands, rids himself of his boxers and climbs right back between her legs, like he never left at all. 

If his cock was impressive though his underwear, it was a damn knock out without them. Rey really doesn’t mean to stare, but my god, Ben is packing. 

“A stretch?” She questions, eyes lifting to his. Ben nods. Rey gulps.

Her hand tentatively reaches out, fingers tracing the light dusting of a happy trail that leads to him. He’s hard, achingly so. Tip red and angry and Rey wants so badly to suck him, but she knows that’s not what tonight is. Her fingers gently tap on his head, feeling the small drops of precome gathered there, watching the tacky fluid stick between her fingertips. 

Ben’s hand goes to wrap around his base, holding himself as his cock twitches beneath her touch. 

“You can play with it, or I can fuck you,” Ben challenges her.

“Not both?” Rey teases.

“Not right now.”

She leans back, looking up at Ben and admiring him like he had been able to do so much. She considers herself, debating whether pulling him to orgasm with her hand the same way he did to her would be as satisfying as him doing the thing that brought them here in the first place. She decides that not right now will mean that later tonight she can have her fun, so she opts for the second option.

“You did say you’d fuck me.”

“I did.”

“I think you should do that… for now.”

Ben grins. His hands dart out to her hips and pull her around so that she’s on her stomach, ass pushed in the air. The sudden movement causes the air to be knocked out of her lungs, but it would’ve escaped anyways when his palm strikes her ass. 

“That’s for making me wait,” He tells her. Rey can’t help to moan when she feels his palm go to soothe the reddened skin. She pushes her ass towards him, hoping that he’ll take the hint.

“You’re gonna be a good girl for daddy? You’re gonna let me fuck you full of my come?” He says. Rey bites a pillow as she just barely refrains spinning around, shoving him back and dropping down on his cock. 

“Words, sweetheart,” Ben reminds her.

“Yes!” She squeaks out. “I’ll be a good girl for you, daddy… please just- just-”

“Tell me,” He says as she feel’s his cock trace her outer folds. Her hips angle back trying to make him enter her.

“… Please fuck me, daddy.”

Ben pushes into her as soon as the words leave her mouth. He’s slow, letting her adjust to him when he finally bottoms out. Rey bites into the pillow even harder. She can hear Ben’s pants above her and can feel the tension in his hands that now hold her hips.

“… Tell me when you’re good, baby.” Ben sounds as breathless as she’s sure she would if she had the capability of speech at the moment. Ben is deathly still within her, but Rey adjust and wiggles herself, earning choked moans and growls from him. 

“Good, daddy… so good,” She finally says, earning a sigh of relief from Ben as he instantly begins to move. His hips rock into hers, shallow at first, before setting a steady pace. She mewls beneath him, trying to move her hips to meet his in time. 

Ben falls forward, chest falling onto her back, and his mouth going to her shoulder. Rey snakes a hand up towards his head, fingers curing themselves though his hair. His mouth kisses and bites at her shoulder as his hip begin to move harder, making a slapping sound with every thrust. 

“You’re gonna… come for me, okay? You gotta come on me, baby. I gotta know what it feels like,” He mumbles on her skin. Rey nods as her other hand goes to hold over his on her hip, and guide it to her center, just above where his cock is sliding into her. Ben instantly gets the message, finger dexterously going to circle at her clit.

Rey feels her knees shake with effort as his cock moves so deeply within her. He’s the biggest she’s ever had, ever will have, and he reaches parts inside of her Rey wasn’t sure existed. His whole body rest above her, not crushing her, but holding her. Making her feel safe within his embrace so that he could do whatever he wanted to. The feeling of being under Ben as pounds into her is delicious and exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

Her head is such a mixture of emotions and ecstasy that Rey almost doesn’t recognize the orgasm as it approaches her. She gasps when she realizes that the tingling sensation starting to spark at her fingertips mean that she’s nearing the peak again. 

“Daddy… Ben… I’m… I’m gonna…”

“I know, Rey. I need to feel it, please. Come on me, baby, please…” Ben begs. 

Her whole body clenches when she comes, forcing Ben to make a choking sound at the sensation of her cunt squeezing the life out of his cock. He comes almost in time with her, spilling hotly within her. He grunts and holds her as tightly as possible as he pumps the last of himself within her.

Rey can feel the sweat of their bodies coating her back, but she feels his face rest on her upper back and plant kisses along her spine. It seemed almost too intimate of a moment for her brain to process, and she’s almost grateful that she wasn’t eating Ben come. Seeing that while feeling it would throw Rey off a cliff she didn’t even know she’d climbed.

They hold their positions for a moment, letting Ben give the rest of his come to her waiting cunt. Rey feels his hands move again, maneuvering them to lay on their sides, Ben still firmly planted within Rey.

His hands stroke her sides as their breathing returns to normal. 

Rey can’t remember a time when she ever felt this safe after sex. Like there was no where else in the world Ben wanted to be other than right here. It was intoxicating.

After a while, she’s worried he’s fallen asleep (or that she would if she remained sedentary any longer), so she calls out for him softly.

“Ben?”

“Hm?” The vibrations from his voice reverberate down her spine.

“Are you awake?” She asks.

“… Yeah.” She can hear the small smile in his voice.

“Good… I didn’t want to wake you when I…” She trails off, trying to think of a not-gross way to phrase this.

“When you got off my dick and let my come spill out of you?” He provides. Despite what they’ve just done, Rey blushes.

“Yeah.”

Ben adjust them so that she’s back on her front, and he’s sitting on his haunches. He slowly pulls out his softening cock, and Rey clenches hard so that the mad rush of fluids don’t coat his bedspread. There’s also a small voice inside her head thats saying ‘he want’s you to keep it’ but Rey totally ignores it. 

“Stay,” Ben commands, getting up from the bed. She ears the flick of a light switch, the running of water, before he comes back getting back onto the bed, and stroking her puffy core with a warm cloth.

Rey relaxes as he cleans her, stroking her cunt with such care and kindness, you almost wouldn’t believe he was the one pounding into it with abandon not so long ago.

She feels him get off the bed again to dispose of the cloth before sliding next to her and practically holding her body up to turn her. He settles them down, him lying on his back with Rey draped over one side of him, legs spread between one of his. Her head lies in the crook of his neck, hand holding onto his chest and his plays with the ends of her hair on her back. 

They lay like this is what they do every night. With such normalcy and established routine that makes Rey’s chest feel fuzzy. There is a gnawing question on her mind, so she’s asks him before he actually does fall asleep.

“How did you know what I was into? I mean… some of it’s pretty common but others are… not,” She says, fingers tracing the muscles in his chest.

“You read fan fiction in public settings, including on our couch, beside me. I didn’t have to pry too hard,” Ben tells her. His voice vibrates though his whole body, making her buzz in a delicious way.

“… I didn’t know you could see that…” She mumbles. Ben laughs lightly.

“It has been very… informative.” Rey scoffs, making him laugh further. When the settle down and the silence returns, Rey can tell there’s something on the tip of his tongue. 

“Ben?” She asks.

“Yeah?”

“You can ask me anything, you know.”

More silence.

“… Is this… something you wanted? You can be honest,” He tells her.

“I think I’m actually the one who asked you, if I recall correctly.”

“No, I mean… with me. I know I wasn’t exactly what you were hoping for tonight and I-”

Rey shoots up to look at Ben. It’s the first time he’s been below her all night, and Rey is able to stare down at his breathtakingly beautiful face, glowing in the moonlight. He’s beautiful to her, always is and aways will be, but there’s a vulnerability in his face right now that makes Rey realize that she’s in control right now. That this is one of those life-altering moments that will inevitably change the world in ways she can’t fathom depending on what she does.

“I may have hoped for something else in the beginning,” Rey starts, “but, Ben, you’re exactly what I wanted.”

The smile that breaks across his face melts Rey and she knows she’s made the right choice. 

-

Brunch is never a dull affair with their friend group. They keep it interesting with gossip or life-changing announcements or the occasional group activity. This particular brunch Ben and Rey are attending is par for the course, going smoothly at the groups favorite eatery in Chandrila. Rose, Hux, and Kaydel are currently arguing over which breakfast carb is superior, pancakes or waffles. Phasma is checking emails while flawlessly being able to keep up with every conversation at the table. Poe, Finn, and Jannah are discussing if the couple two tables over is breaking up or just fighting. 

It’s the normal routine for everyone. 

Except, of course, Ben and Rey. 

They’re sitting next to each other, which my itself isn’t totally unusual, but instead of Rey wishing she was the fork Ben grasps so tightly or the glass that gets to feel the plushness of his lips, she’s content where she it. Ben has his hand holding onto her upper thigh, just teasing at the hemline with his finger tips. His shoe knocks into hers, calves brushing together. 

They’re sitting so close, she can feel the heat radiating off his body. She’ll blame that for the blush staining her cheeks. 

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Kaydel suddenly squeals, making Rey stop mid bite of her waffle/pancake/french toast combination that Ben said was ‘ungodly.’ “Rey, I totally forgot, but how was your date the other night with… um, what’s his name…” She tries to think of #7’s name. It takes Rey an embarrassing amount of time to remember it herself. 

“Ugh, you mean Snap? It went… alright, I guess,” She tells the table, now all eyes on her. Ben squeezes her thigh harshly for a moment. 

“Oh, you poor thing!” Kaydel says. “He seemed like such a nice guy. Why didn’t it work out?” She questioned further. Rey didn’t have to look at Ben to know he was smirking.

“Um, I was… he just… not my type, ya know?” Rey deflects. 

“Then what is your type? I’m sure Kaydel would like to know so she can curate her recommendations better,” Ben says. Rey slaps his stomach.

“Actually, I don’t need anymore… suggestion.” The energy at the table shifts, and Rey gets a devious idea.

“Oh my god, peanut, did you find someone?” Finn asks, garnering the attention of everyone, even Phasma who tries to stay out of this type of conversation as much as possible.

“Yeah, I did.” 

Squeels of joy erupt from around the table as a barrage of questions suddenly spill from everyones lips. 

“Does he live here?”

“Is he rich?”

“Do we know him?”

“What’s he do for a living?” “Tell us about him!”

Rey smiles. “Well, I really like him but there is one problem.”

“What?” Ben barks up, suddenly. She turns to look at him, giving him the sweetest expression she can muster, the one that makes him melt like butter.

“He’s got a really small dick.”

Ben chokes on his grits. 

—

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