#shelby stop ranting

[midnighticee]

SO! It took way longer than I thought it would, but after several weeks I finally finished my first ever pillow! The absolutely incredible art on the front is from 2 Arms Left by @intotheelliwoods ! The back is a last minute plan to add a lil mask that uh. I'm definitely going to practice before I attempt again lmao

[joculatrixster]

if ur posting about mourning a loss bc the fav u were parasocial w was an abuser or has done bad things but also not flooding the victim of abuse w support and getting her name trending instead of his...ur part of the problem...hope that helps. give her the same positive energy u gave him...stop making it about YOU. send HER support.

[runnning-outof-time]

Congrats again my love!! How about Tommy and 22? Maybe some smut? Maybe some angst? I can’t wait to read what you will come up with 🤍

Thanks so much for sending this in, Chi! I didn’t go full on smut here because I can’t write it for the life me, and the angst wasn’t the main element, but this idea came to me after re-watching this episode and I ran with it. I hope I did your request justice! Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Part of my 3.5k celebration — check out others!

A Long Day

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: language, mentions of blood/injury, suggestive situations (nothing too graphic)

Word Count: 1223

Summary: After a long day, Tommy just wants to be with (Y/N). (Y/N), who’s not seen him for the entire day, has some words to say to him first.

Tommy had had a long day. After handing money to the family of the boy who shouldn’t have died, meeting with Campbell and dealing with all that entailed, making sure his derby horse was transferred to its trainer, and Michael coming to make a pitch to be considered for the spot of company accountant, he wanted nothing more now than to get his mind off of all of it.

After telling Michael that he’d need to speak with his mother about the position first, Tommy was finally heading home. The door to 6 Watery Lane couldn’t come fast enough, but when it did, he stopped to take a deep breath before opening it. He hoped there wouldn’t be another item of business waiting behind it.

(Y/N) had been sitting in the front room of the house on Watery Lane for a few hours now. She’d been waiting for Tommy, who promised her he’d meet her and that they’d go somewhere for dinner.

Her eyes snapped to the door the second she heard it open, and she was up from the couch and walking over to Tommy as soon as she saw that it was him. “Where’ve you been, Tommy?” she questioned, trying to keep her emotions in check.

“Love…” Tommy sighed, his gaze finding the far wall as she came to stop in front of him. This already seemed like it was shaping up to be another item of business.

“You said you’d meet me for dinner three hours ago. Three, Tommy! And I’ve been sitting here, worried sick about where you could be and what you could be doing. I talked to Pol, you know. She said that you…”

(Y/N) was unable to finish her worry-driven rant because Tommy had reached out and took hold of her cheeks, effortlessly bringing her lips to his in a fervent kiss, one that was effective in derailing her train of thought. The kiss lasted until her lungs were screaming for air, making her be the one to pull back; her forehead resting against his.

“Where were you, Tommy?” she asked in a breathless manner a few moments after they’d parted.

“I’ve had a long fucking day,” he responded, his statement not answering hers in the slightest. (Y/N) exhaled a sigh, her nonverbal way of telling him that his answer wasn’t good enough. He distracted her before she could speak, dropping his hands from her cheeks so that they could snake around her waist, pulling her flush against him. “I need you, love,” he mumbled, his lips finding hers again.

“Polly told me that you’re looking to have Michael join,” (Y/N) took her chance and mumbled against his lips the second he broke away from her, “said that the day hell freezes over is the day he’ll be part of the business.”

“Not now, love’,” he deflected yet again, his face dropping to the spot where her collar met her jaw, his lips finding the skin present there.

“Tommy…” she meant to sigh, but his name escaped her lips through a moan instead.

“Hmm?” he hummed into the skin of her neck, his half-minded question doing more to distract her than it did to get her to continue the conversation.

“What are you doing with the business?”

Her question got him to lift his head, and he let his eyes dance over her face for a moment, licking his lips before he responded: “I have no interest in speaking about business at this moment,” he told her in a straightforward tone. His eyes then flitted to her lips for a moment before he leaned in and kissed her again.

This kiss was even more persistent than the last, and it made clear to (Y/N) what was on his mind. She let him win this time, staying focused on the feeling of his lips against hers as her hands traveled up to rest against his cheeks.

He pulled her deeper still, the feeling of his body flush against hers making her moan into the kiss as it intensified. Her hands didn’t stay on his cheeks for long before they were traveling upward to remove the peaked cap he was still wearing. She was going to do so with the intention of being able to tangle her hands into the longer strands of his hair, but something she felt on her left hand stopped her in her tracks. It had a sticky consistency, one that made her freeze mid-kiss and drop her hands from his face.

Tommy, still not wanting to stop, began placing kisses to her jawline, his hands working to bunch the fabric of her dress up so that he could take things further with her. He had a one track mind in this moment, working fervently to get what he needed.

But those thoughts were the furthest from (Y/N)’s mind now. Now, she wanted to get to the bottom of what she’d felt on the side of his face. It took a deal of strength for her to open her eyes, but when she did, they widened immediately.

“Do you know you’re bleeding?” she asked him, shock present in her voice when she was met with the sight of her red fingertips.

The grunt that Tommy elicited in response wasn’t enough for her, so she took matters into her own hands - quite literally - by grabbing his cheeks and lifting his face up so that she could inspect it. There was no injury that was screaming at her as she looked at him head on, but the reason behind the blood became clear when she turned his head to make him look to the right.

“You’ve got a cut on your temple,” she told him, squinting to inspect the injury further. It looked to be superficial, but still she had to wonder just for how long he’d been walking around with it bleeding. “What happened?” she tried then, manually turning his head so that he’d be looking at her again.

She knew just from the look in his eyes, how the once calm oceans were now darker from an impending storm, that she wouldn’t be getting much of an answer out of him. But hey…it was worth a try.

He let his eyes travel over her face, drinking in every inch of it as a grin tugged at the corner of his lips. “Was a long day, (Y/N),” he mumbled, his hands continuing what they were doing, bunching up the fabric until he found the smooth skin of her thigh.

(Y/N) was the one to lean in for a kiss this time, and she pulled back with a similar grin present on her face. “Well maybe there’s something that can be done about that,” she told him, her voice not even needing to take on a suggestive tone for him to make the next move.

She couldn’t help but shriek as he lifted her into his arms, his hands brushing higher up her thighs as she hooked her legs around his waist. A stream of giggles left her lips as Tommy walked them to the stairs and up to his bedroom.

He may have had a long day, but at least he was - hell, they both were - ending it on a high note.

—damn y’all…I know I promised they won’t all be this long, but oh boy did I get carried away here. Sorry, not sorry!

Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @rangerelik @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @itscheybaby @gypsy-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @youtifulsunshinelixfics @forgottenpeakywriter @cljordan-imperium @areyenotfondofmelobster @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @iambored24601 @shaddixlife

MASTERLIST

[yespleasetommyshelby]

Before he cheats - Modern Tommy Shelby x reader

I've had this song stuck in my head for days and it's gotta go 😩 This literally took me all of 2 hours to plan/write/post and it hasn't been proofread so bare with!

Enjoy! 🥰

---------

"56, 57, 58, 59, 60, that's it, I'm done." I huffed as i threw my phone onto the sofa besides me, frown on my face as I sighed. "That's two fucking hours!" I muttered to myself stamping my feet into my trainers I threw my coat on before picking up my phone on some final hope that I'd actually had a reply, but low and behold, obviously not.

"Fucking Thomas Shelby always thinking with his mother fucking dick." I continued to mutter under my breath as I left my home on Watery Lane slamming the door behind me, my chest burning in anger. Stepping out onto the path I shoved my hands into my coat pockets, fists clenched as I headed the short distance down the road to the house where I'd practically grown up.

"Watch where you're fucking going!" I screeched as a teenager flew past on his bike almost knocking me into the road. "Fucking males and their fucking shit." I continued to slate each and every male that came into view in the 2 minutes it took to get to my destination, 'men are all the bloody same' my mum used to say, 'honestly, get yourself a women, their much easier.' Looking back maybe I should've taken her advice.

"Where is he?" I asked as I pushed open the doors to the betting shop that sat in Watery Lane, the punters and staff going silent as I watched with my hands on my hips. "Oh come on, you know exactly who I'm talking about!" I all but yelled into the silent room, after being with Tommy for 2 years now I had almost as much authority as him, almost.

"Y/n, not here." Polly's voice had my head on a swivel, finally spotting her in the doorway to John's office I stormed over ignoring the looks I was getting from everyone.

"Where is he Pol?" I sighed as I flopped down into Johns office chair. "And why are you in here?" I asked noticing that John wasn't in his own office.

"He's disappeared with Esme somewhere, honestly these Shelby boys and their dicks are ridiculous." She mumbled, lighting the cigarette she held in her hand.

"Tell me about it." I sighed, knowing that if Tommy wasn't in the office he was only going to be in one other place. "He's at the Garrison then." I asked, watching as she froze slightly before shaking her head.

"I think so, yeah, what's he done this time?" She sighed as she rubbed her eyes, having dealt with nothing but pissed up (and off) men and women placing bets they can't afford all morning, dealing with her nephews love life was definitely not on her to do list.

"Nothing Pol, he's done nothing which is the fucking problem! He was supposed to meet me 2 hours ago and I haven't heard anything since a lousy morning text all because he's too busy with that fucking whore Grace!" I ranted, reaching out and taking one of her cigarettes before lighting it and slamming the lighter down on the desk. "You know what I'm done." My voice sounded much more convinced then my mind as I said the words.

Shaking my head I stood up in a flash, out of Johns office and into Tommys within a second, without looking I reached behind Tommys desk and picked up the baseball bat that I knew he kept there in case of emergency's. Pushing my way past Polly who was stood in the doorway I made my way through the punters and out into the street without a second look, the bat weighing heavy in my hand.

"Y/n! What are you doing?!" Pol's voice follows me out into the street. "Come back inside!" She yelled, passers by stopping to look at the scenes, before a sharp look from Pol had them walking on.

"Woah! What's going on here?" I was stopped in my tracks as Arthur, John and Esme appeared from the corner ahead of me, grins on their faces as they looked from the bat in my hand to the scowl on my face.

"Looks to me that she's off to play baseball." John laughed, his input met with a thud on his chest by his wife.

"Would you two idiots shut up already." She giggled slightly as she pushed her husband into his older brother. "Now what's up with the bat?" She asked, smirking slightly as she had a feeling she knew exactly where you was going, after sitting on the phone for an hour the last time Tommy pissed you off she knew not to get in the way.

"Like John boy said." I shrugged, my hold on the bat tightening ever so slightly. "I'm going to practice baseball with a nice new shiny Land Rover I saw parked outside of the Garrison." I grinned before pushing my way through the trio and continuing on my way.

I couldn't help but let out a loud laugh as the Garrison came into view and just as I had predicted there was brand new Land Rover sat outside its doors. The brand new Land Rover that only 3 days ago I had travelled up to Scotland to collect with Tommy, not knowing that it would be the last journey I'd take with both him and the car.

"Y/n come on back to the shop love, we'll sort this shit out." Polly pleaded once more making me stop in my tracks, the Shelby's had been like a family to me, even in the years before me and Tommy had officially gotten together, being friends with Ada and all.

"I'm sorry Pol." I sighed shaking my head as I turned to face her and the trio that had followed behind. "But right now, right now he's probably slow dancing with that bleach blonde tramp and she's probably getting frisky. Right now he's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whisky." I laughed a little, knowing for a fact that she couldn't handle the drink that Thomas Shelby worships so much. "Right now he's probably up behind her with a pool stick showing her how to shoot a combo, but he don't know." I laughed as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my keys, my hand wrapping around the longest and sharpest of them all, ironically the spare key Tommy had given me for this exact car.

I could help but grin as I stuck my key through the shiny black metal of the drivers door, the small act creating some kind of pleasure, a pleasure that only increased as I walked my way down the car, the key dragging a horribly crooked line right down the side.

"Right that's enough now! Cut this shit out!" Polly yelled, her eyes flickering between her nephews burnt lover and the door which he could come through at any second. "Think about what you're doing y/n." She almost pleaded, or at least as close as I'd ever seen her.

Ignoring her I made my way round to the passengers side, the metal bat dragging across the floor being the only sound to be heard, except for the muffled giggles that the other two Shelby brothers struggled to keep back. A wave of emotion hit me as I climbed into the car, a lone tear slipping down my cheek which I quickly wiped away.

"He doesn't deserve it." I muttered to myself as I quickly wiped it away without a second thought. "Fuck him and all the whores he's had in this fucking car." I growled gripping my keys as I began to carve my name into the leather seat.

"What the fuck is going on right now?!" My head snapped up as I heard another voice, Ada having stumbled upon my little rage room experiment, shall we call it.

"Ada! Nice of you to join us, i'll tell you what's going on shall I?" I asked as I hopped down from the car swing the bat up over my shoulder as I waved over to her. "Right now, your brother, you know the one that I'm supposedly engaged to, is in there living it up with that Irish tart of a woman!" I yelled, using the bat to point towards the door, not caring how loud my voice had gotten. "Right now she's probably up singing some white trash version of Shania karaoke, right now she's probably saying 'I'm drunk' and he's thinking that he's gunna get lucky! Right now, he's probably dapping on three quids worth of that bathroom polo!" I screamed, the more thought I put into what was actually going on just inside fuelling the rage even more.

I let out a gut wrenching scream as I swung the bat into his headlight, once, twice, three times moving on to the next I swung again laughing as the glass crashed to the floor before swing it into the windscreen for good measure. Throwing the bat to the floor I put my hands on my hips and grinned as I looked at the mess that was Tommy Shelby's new car before making my way over to Arthur.

"I need your knife." Holding my hand out infront of him. "Please Arthur." I sighed knowing that he always carried one no matter where he went.

With a sigh and grin he reached into his pocket and placed the small switch blade into my hand.

"Seriously Arthur?! Why the fucking hell did you give her a knife?!" Polly yelled as she threw her arms up in frustration, knowing that if anyone was going to be killed for this it wasn't going to be her.

"She asked nicely Pol." He shrugged, loving the fact that his brother was about to have the surprise of a lifetime and all he had to do was sit and watch.

Sticking the knife into the front tyre I smirked as the hiss of air filled the air, walking round and putting a knife slash in all of the tires for good measure, I stood back with a grin laughing at the look of amusement over the 3 Shelby siblings faces, the smirk on Esme's and the fed up look Polly had been giving me for the last 10 years.

"What the fucking hell is going on?!" The man of the hour roared as he stepped out onto the street, the pub doors banging against the walls before Grace appeared behind him, eyes cast down. "Answer me!" He bellowed, the vein in his neck popping with each syllable.

"Hi Tommy, remember me?" I asked sarcastically making his eyes jump to me, his face dropping ever so slightly. "You know, the fiance that you used to have!" I stepped forwards as I spoke shoving him back slightly, knowing if it was anyone else they would have recieved a bullet to the head, but I knew he'd never lay a hand on me.

"Y/n? I thought we were meeting later?" He asked, brows furrowed in confusion as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, the numerous texts and missed calls flashing on the screen and the time that read two and a half hours after the planned meeting time. "Oh." He muttered, wiping his hand across his face. "What have you done?" He asked as his eyes trailed along the nice long line that now travels the length of his new car.

"Yeah, oh." I nodded, laughing slightly as Grace stepped out besides him. "I suppose you missed the show while you were in there with ol' Gracie here. But I'll give you a rundown shall I? Well I dug my key into the side of your pretty little souped up four wheel drive, carved my name into your leather seats. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights and slashed a hole in all four tires, maybe next time you'll think before you cheat." I couldn't help the tears that fell next, the adrenaline slowing and my whole body began to ache, the end of an era, me and the Shelby's.

"Y/n-" "No." I cut him off, not wanting to listen to any kind of reasoning he would throw at me, anything to get him back in the good book. "I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl, because the next time that you cheat, oh you know it won't be on me, no, not on me." I wiped my eyes before pulling of the ring that he had given me 6 months ago. "Guess I'll give it to you aye, Gracie." I muttered, throwing the ring at her feet before turning to walk away.

"Y/n!" His voice reached my ears just as I'd passed Polly, Arthur, John, Esme and Ada. "Y/n please!"

"Bye Tom!" I yelled without turning back, keeping my head up I shoved my hands into my pockets and carried on, not giving them the chance to see the tears that were currently streaming down my face.

-----

There you have it! My first fic where they don't end up happily ever after, hopefully you enjoyed!

Feel free to send any requests! 💖

[bad268]

Betrothed (Finn Shelby X Reader)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Requested: Day 25 of Writing Inktober prompts instead of drawing!

Warnings: none.

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 466

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

Writing Inktober 2024 Materlist

~~(^Pinterest)

You ran through the streets of Small Heath on a mission, and that mission was to find Thomas Shelby. You had heard a rumor along the grapevine, and you needed to know if it was true. The only way you were certain you would get the truth was to speak with the center of it all. 

You all but ran over anyone who dared to cross your path and broke the door to the betting shop off its hinges. The people in the shop all stopped to look at you, but you gave them no mind as you simply walked passed them and into Arthur’s office. 

“Where is he?” You asked after you slammed the door open to see Arthur and Linda going at each other.

“Wasn’t in the middle of somethin' or anything,” Arthur groaned as he fixed his pants and Linda’s slip dress. “What do ya want, kid?”

“I want to know where Thomas is,” You seethed, “I don’t care what you two were doing, just tell me where I can find him. Now.”

“Should be in his office or at Arrow,” Arthur snapped, and you turned right around, stomping your way to Tommy’s office. Thankfully, he was sitting there with a cigarette between his lips and a smug look on his face. “Care to explain the situation, Thomas?”

“What situation would that be?” He played dumb, and you knew it.

“The fact that the man of my dreams has been betrothed! You couldn’t stop yourself from shouting at him as you approached his desk. You leaned over the desk before dropping your tone, “You did this. I know this was your doing; no one else would have the guts to even try betrothing a Shelby. I just know it was part of your business to keep the peace between someone or another.”

“If you’d sit down, I’d tell ya everything you want to know,” Tommy responded, and just then, Finn walked in, shouting before he registered who was in the room.

“I’m to be fuckin married, Tom? I’m barely 20! I don’t even know ‘em!” 

“If you’d both shut the hell up,” He shouted, directing it at both of you, “I’d tell ya what’s happening.” You and Finn shut up quickly as you took the two seats in front of Tommy. “You need to understand there is no business or malicious intent behind this betrothal.”

“Malicious intent, my ass, Thomas!” You shouted, briefly acknowledging Finn asking what that meant before disregarding it and diving into your rant. “You’ve known that we’ve been together for years, and now you just wanna set him up with some random person who’ll get you more social status? Is that it?”

“No! And if you’d shut the hell up, I’d tell you that you are betrothed to him!”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[nyasiaaaaa]

In the Bleak Mid-Winter

In the Bleak Mid-Winter

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Fem reader (Nurse)  

Summary: This is a story about two people who become constants in each others lives, and eventually fall for each. While one learns to love again, the other learns the cost of loving a man like him. 

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: Cursing, blood, Slight smut ( hand job), Kissing, angst, hurt/ no comfort Tommy Shelby, ( If I missed anything or you think something should be added please tell me.) ( Also Y/N is on dick, IDKY she acts like this)

A/N: part 1 takes place during season two, part 2/3 season 3 and 4/5/6 season 4. This is a Slow burn there will be smut eventually. 

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 5  part 6

******************************************

Week 1: 

 The first 72 hours after surgery were rough; everyone was waiting around to see if he would slip in the night. He made it through. Well, he started breathing on his own, so that was good, but he still hasn't woken up. In the mornings, you would continuously walk past his room, peaking through the window, seeing if he was still alive, seeing who visited him. You always watched, but you never went in. During the day, you worked with other patients, and at night, you would sit by his bed and watch him sleep every night. 

Week 2: 

Tommy was still in a coma, and every day, your fears worsened. All the what-ifs ran through your head; what if he never woke up? Still, every night, you were by his side waiting, watching. 

Week 3: 

Two nights ago, Tommy woke up; you were "talking" to him, which you did most nights to help with the silence and pass the time. You were busy ranting about your day and this horrible patient who had come into the ER as you knitted a sweater. 

"So then she yelled at me, telling me I'm a stupid bitch who needs to go get a real doctor to check her out. So then, you know what I did? I gave her a piece of my mind," you said, pausing to focus on the sweater for a second. 

"You did, eh?" 

If it wasn't for the fact that you could see his eyes open, you would've thought you had hallucinated. You rushed over to him, dropping the sweater on the floor.

"Tommy, are you ok? How do you feel? Do you need some water? Hold on, let me go get the Doctor." You were about to rush off when you felt yourself being pulled back slightly

"Let another nurse get the doctor; you didn't finish telling me your story." His words came out rushed, almost as if he was pushing them out so he could take a breath. 

"Ok," You laughed as you wiped the tears on your face and held his hand tightly. 

Week 4:

   Tommy was getting better every day; he wasn't making huge milestones, but he was meeting his goals. 

   You walked in to check on Tommy during lunch after finishing up with most of your work for the day. You caught him trying to bring his head down to his hands so he could put the cig in his mouth. This might not seem like much, but the fact that he could get the cig out of the box in the first place was huge.

 You walked up to him, taking the cig out of his hand before licking your lip and running the cig across them. You held the cig between your lips as you reached down and got a match from the box; you lit up, taking a drag before placing it in Tommy's mouth.

"Thank you"

"You welcome." 

You walked towards the end of his bed, picking up the paper for Today and walking back up towards him, pulling a chair with you along the way. You placed the chair next to him, taking a seat as you flipped through the paper. 

You stopped flipping to reach up and take the cig from Tommy to ash it before giving it back to him.

"Anything interesting," he asked. 

"Nope, the only thing is that it seems your horse came in 3rd place at the derby; congratulations, Mr.Shebly." 

Again, you reached up, taking the cig from his mouth, ashing it, and then giving it back. Tommy rested his head back and closed his eyes as he finished his cig.

"What else does it say?" he turned to look at you. "Read it to me," he asked, and you did; for the rest of the afternoon, you sat there reading the paper to Tommy as you lit and ashed his cigs for him. 

Week 5: 

 It didn't take long for you to catch on that Tommy couldn't read. Well, it's not that he couldn't read, but he couldn't see. Tommy was on a load of medication, and you couldn't even remember everyone, let alone the dose of each one. You were getting his medicine ready for him, but you could only remember three out of six of the medications, and you didn't read the doses for them.

You looked around for Tommy's chart and saw it was on the nightstand across the room next to him.

"Tommy read the medicines and doses out loud for me; I can't remember if I'm doing this right, so just read them all, please,"

Tommy grabbed the clipboard and looked at it; you waited a bit, giving him some time to locate the information.

Seconds turn into minutes, and Tommy still hasn't said a word; you turn around to catch him holding the clip close to his face, moving it far away, and then back close up. 

"Tommy"

He looked over the papers one more time before handing the clip out to you; you walked up, took it out of his hand, and then walked back over to the medicines; you fished up and brought them all over to Tommy.

"I'm going for lunch with the other nurse. I'll be back." You walked toward the door, opening it before you turned back toward Tommy. 

"I'll send for the eye doctor to come about." You gave him a tight smile before closing the door and heading out for lunch with your friends.  

Week 6: 

Tommy started his physical therapy a couple of days ago, and every day, you accompanied him. You didn't have to be there for his physical therapy, but you wanted to, and you had the feeling Tommy did, too. 

You sat at the opposite side of Tommy, who stood at the end of parallel bars; he held himself up as the physical therapist told him what to do. 

"Ok. Now, Mr.Shelby, when you are ready, start walking down to her; take your time. Don't rush." 

Tommy started to walk towards you. It wasn't the most stable, and it was very slow as he basically dragged himself along the bars as he walked. He only made it a few steps before taking a break to catch his breath. You could tell he was embarrassed if anyone saw him right now….

It's been a few minutes, and Tommy still hasn't moved; you don't know if he's in pain or if his mind is racing with fear of the future.

You pick the newspaper up next to you and quickly glance over.

"Tommy, I knew you had a horse racing this weekend, but you didn't say it won first place." You held the newspaper up, covering your face as you spoke. Your poker face wasn't the best, but you needed to get Tommy out of his head.

"Bring it here." 

You knew you had him, seeing as it was early in the morning, and neither John nor Arthur had been by to tell him the actual placing of his horse.

"Wow, won by an Inch, a close call, they say. Hey, what's the type of payout from a win like this?" You Ignored him as you continued to "Skim" through the paper.

You peeked around the paper to see Tommy walking towards you. He was still struggling, but his steps had much more determination behind them. 

He reached the end of the bars and leaned on them as he held his hand out. 

"Oi, give it here."

"You can't even see the words on the paper, Tommy."

"Don't care" 

You handed him the paper, and even though Tommy couldn't see, it didn't really matter; on the cover of the newspaper was a big picture of a gangster who had been killed. 

Tommy's horse had raced the other day, and the papers had the result, but it would be on Today's paper, and Tommy was holding yesterday's. 

He let out a puff of air as he read over the paper. He looked up at you raising the papers, and he did,

"Where's today's paper?"

"I don't know; I think the mail boy is running late." You glanced over your shoulder as if you were looking for him. "He should be here soon, maybe even by the time you finish your therapy," you gave him a smile with a thumbs up.

"Now, going on, turn around; you still have about an hour to go," you said, cheering him on.

He looked at you briefly before Turning around and walking back towards the Doctor. 

You watched Tommy continue on the bars before switching to some weight lifting and more. Today ( Monday) was the start, but by Friday, you could already see the difference in his steps and how confidently he took them; he was getting better and stronger every day. 

Later, you learn that his horse did, in fact, win first place. 

Week 7:

Tommy has been doing very well in physical therapy to the point where he is off the bars and is now walking around with a cane; he can't go far, but it's a start. You still go to every appointment even though no one asked you to; you still go, just like how you still sit with Tommy through the night even though he's been out of the woods for weeks. You don't know why you are doing this, but you can't stop. 

Week 8:

You were exhausted; you had been doing this for eight weeks now, and to be honest, you were surprised you had been able to keep this up; you hadn't spent a night at your apartment in weeks. You were always at the hospital during the day and night; you slept next to Tommy at night but only caught a couple of hours if you were lucky. 

And your body ached in places you never knew could hurt; sleeping in that chair every night started to make you have bad posture. You had to stop; you had to start going home, getting a good night's sleep, and taking showers in the comfort of your own home; you need rest and space. 

You decide that starting Today, you will go home instead of staying with Tommy for the night; you finish your shift like usual, but instead of heading towards Tommy's room, you head outside to head home. You decide not to tell Tommy that you aren't going to be "staying the nights" anymore; you don't see any reason to. Tommy is usually asleep by the time you come, and you are gone by the time he wakes up, so he wouldn't know the difference anyway, and you feel like if you did say something, he might see you as…… Creepy. 

Week 9:

You ended up taking three days off. That first night you got home, you slept the best you have in your whole life, and the following day, you couldn't get up, so you called off; you stayed home relaxed, read, and just spent time with yourself. You didn't realize how bad you need this until day two came, and you called out again because the idea of returning to work makes you sick. 

Again, you rested, cleaned, and just spent time with yourself; the quiet is what you enjoyed the most, and the smell of anything other than chemicals and bleach. Again, on the third day, you called out, but you told yourself that this would be the last day; after this, you would head back to work, so you needed to enjoy it while it lasted, and you did. You went to the market and shopped for food, went out to the pictures during the time, so it was empty and quiet, and even went to a boutique in town that you've always seen but never gone to. By the end of your day, you were tired, but in a good way, you felt good enough to head back to work. 

The next day, you headed to work with a bit of a skip in your step; you missed Tommy; you would never say that out loud, but you did. 

You walked in and said a quick hello to the other nurses before. Heading off to Tommy's room, as soon as you entered the room, you smelled opioids. You looked around the room for the source and found a pipe next to Tommy on the bed. You picked it up and turned it over in your hands as you studied it.

You reached down and pushed Tommy. 

"Wake up, Tommy. Wake up." You pushed him again; he was lying on his stomach, and his arms circled his pillow. You pushed his once more as you yelled, "TOMMY!"

He began to stir as he lifted his head up to look at you; you looked at yourself dazed before darting his eyes to what was in your hands and then back to your face.

"What?" his voice was raspy. 

"W-what is this, Tommy? This is bad for you, and especially with your injury, you have no business doing this; the damage it could cause is irreversible.” You were upset. You had gone over everything Tommy could and couldn't have, what he could and couldn't do. 

"I needed to sleep," he said before laying his head back down. 

"You sleep fine; if you didn't, you could've asked for some tablets to help."  

You guess he was tired of hearing your voice cause he covered his ears, letting out a groan; he Lay there for a second before turning and sitting up; he looked at you and nodded his head toward the cane, leaning up against the wall.

You walked over, got it for him, handing it to him as you still awaited an answer for why he was smoking this.

"Tommy, you don't make sense; I've been watching over you for weeks; not once have you had trouble sleeping; every night when I'm here with you, you've fallen asleep like a baby full off milk. Smoking this can cause brain-" 

You stopped talking as you realized what you just said. He didn't wait for you to continue, and he stood up, putting all his weight on the chain as he pushed himself off the bed. He starts walking, and you let him pass with a word as he heads to the bathroom. 

**************

You haven't talked to Tommy all day, you've been avoiding him, and you're unsure what to say. 

You've walked past his room a couple of times, and every time you peak in, it's like he can sense you cause he immediately stops what he's doing and turns to catch your eyes. You quickly turn away and rush off to do nothing, nowhere. 

Nightfall came, and you couldn't go home; you didn't want to. 

You walked towards his room slowly; you were nervous.

You enter the room and is relieved as you see Tommy asleep; you pull up a chair next to the bed. You rest your legs against his bed as you slide down in the chair, trying to get comfortable; you close your eyes as you try to call to sleep.

"The bed would be more comfortable."

If he could see in the dark, he would definitely know that you're awake. Your body practically flinched at his statement; your eyes remained closed, though, too scared of what you might see when you open them. 

You lay as still as possible, hoping that he would think you were sleeping.

"You can sleep there if you want, but if you don't," he trailed off as he pulled back the blanket and made space for you.

You remain quiet not because you still want him to think you sleep but because you don't know what to say or what to do. Getting in bed with him would be highly inappropriate; he's your patient, and you're his nurse.

But your body was already starting to hurt from this chair, and the night had barely begun, and besides, it was just sleeping. 

You crack your eyes open to get a quick look and find Tommy already lying back down with the covers still thrown over, making a spot for you; you get up slightly before sitting back down; you couldn't do this; there's no way you should just g- 

You got up so quick that you didn't even realize that you had started to walk towards the side of the bed where Tommy had made space for you; you slipped your shoes off as you slowly crawled into the bed. 

You were glad that Tommy had his back towards you; you couldn't even begin to imagine what might happen if he watched you crawl up next to him. 

You lay down, slipping your legs under the covers as you pull the top half over your body. You also decide to lay with your back towards Tommy, leaving plenty of room between the two of you. You snuggled up in the cover and let out a sigh of relief as the aches your body felt started to go away. 

You close your eyes and again called out to sleep.

You felt the bed shake, and you froze.

You were already warm, but now you felt hot.

Tommy had pressed up against you and put his arm around your waist, tugging you back closer to him, 

"Tommy wh-"

"Shhh," he whipped softly. 

He had nuzzled his head in between your neck. He molded his body to fit yours. You just lay there, unsure of what to do, but as soon you realized that his body stilled and his breath evened out, You knew that he was sleeping and that you were stuck. You lay there for what seemed like forever till, eventually, your eyes grew heavy, and you fell asleep.

Week 10:

Things between you and Tommy were…… something. It wasn't awkward, but a lot of things went unsaid. You were grateful for the lack of conversation; nothing ruins the moment more than asking what this was. Though you fought it at first, now you can't imagine a night that doesn't end with you in his arms. To say you're conflicted doesn't even come close; every night, you're one step closer to doing something you can't come back from, something that would be hard to regret. 

Week 11:

You were trying to do paperwork at the nurse's station when you heard your name being called by a fellow nurse; you looked up, giving her your full attention.

"Mr.Shelby refuses to let me give him a bath and request that you come see him." 

"Ummm, ok, thanks." You slowly get up and head toward Tommy's room

Tommy hurt himself a couple of days ago. Because of his incident, he required help doing things like using the restroom, putting on clothes, and showering. You had helped him with the clothes but had been off shift when help with the other things was requested. 

You entered the room and headed to the bathroom, seeing as you didn't see him anywhere; once you entered, you saw him sitting in the tub with his back facing you. As you slowly walked closer to him, you saw that he was smoking; as soon as you were in his peripheral, he turned his head to meet your eyes. He took a long drag as he looked you up and down; you stood there uncertain, hopping from foot to foot; your discomfort was written on your face, clear as day. You couldn't help it; Thomas Shelby was sitting In front of you in a bath, fully naked. 

"You asked for me?" He just looked at you, eyes skimming your body repeatedly as he finished his cig. 

"Doc says I need help, can't do much, hate to tear my stitches." 

"And what was wrong with the other nurse?"

"I don't know her." he struggled his shoulder and put the cig out, looking up at you. 

You tried to take a deep breath, but it got cut short once you remembered the situation you were in. Your throat felt as if it was closing with every step you took toward him. Your hand fidgeted by your side, grabbing your dress and trying to ground yourself. You took one final breath as you reached him. 

Deciding you couldn't look him in the face, you got behind him on your knees. He sat up straight in the tub, and you reached towards the wall to grab the sponge from the hook. You dipped the sponge in the water and started washing his back. 

It was painfully quiet; all you could hear was the water splashing and your shaky breaths. 

You finished with his back and put your hand on his shoulder, pulling him towards you.

 You're so close that his back rests against your chest; you press your hand to his chest to keep him in place as you continue to wash his chest. 

He stares up at you, but you keep your eyes focused, 

because your eyes are glued to his chest, you can't help but notice the scars littered across it. 

You let go of the sponge and began to trace every scar that you see across his chest, 

You know there's a story behind everyone 

And you want to hear it. 

Suddenly, he reaches up and grabs your hand; your eyes snap up to look at his, and his eyes dart down to your lips before looking back at you. 

You were barely breathing before, and you're certainly not breathing now.

He let go of your hand and reached up to grab your face; he brushed his thumb across your cheek before pulling you in. 

Your lips brushed against his playfully, almost as if you were hesitant,

But you weren't 

You crashed your lips into his

He grabbed your head in between his hands, pulling you closer. His lips were rough against yours, and he tasted slightly of tobacco, but you didn't care.

You were close but felt the need to be closer. You reached your hand down in the water and grabbed him; you gave him a slight squeeze before stroking him. 

His cock twitched in your hand, and his breath hitched. 

 He let go of your face as his head fell against the rim of the tub; his breath quickened as you increased your pace and bent down to kiss his chest and up his neck. 

You stop at his jaw, nibbling along it before going back down to the base of his neck and slowly licking up; you lick up till you reach his lips, pausing and hovering above them. 

You slow down your pace and stroke him slowly as you kiss him.

Suddenly, Thomas places his hand on top of yours, stopping your movements; he pulls your face back from his and just stares at you. 

You're not sure what the look is, but the feeling in your stomach tells you it's not good.

You pull your hand away from him and sit back on your knees. 

He gives you a look over once more before clearing his throat and turning away from you.

He grabs a cigs and lights it before putting his head back and closing his eyes.

You just sit there.

You look down at the floor, your eyes shifting back and forth as your eyes begin to fill up with tears.

Your throat starts to burn as you hold back your tears.

You get up almost in a panic; you refuse to cry in front of this man. 

You walk out of the bathroom, and you don't run. 

He can't know. 

The door barely closes behind you before you let the tears fall. You wipe your face fast with your hands. 

Your walk slowly turns into a jog before you start running towards the nearest bathroom. 

You push open the door, shutting it and locking it behind you.

You take deep breaths to calm yourself down; words can't describe how you feel. 

Why

Why

Why.

Millions of reasons and insecurity raced through your head, you felt sick to your stomach. 

You've never felt so stupid in your life; of course, ...... of course, he would never. 

You kept saying to yourself, but you couldn't even think of a real reason as to why. 

You felt someone knock on the door and yell something, but you weren't listening; you were trying to get out of your head.

You pushed yourself off the door and walked towards the mirror. You gripped the side of the sink as you stared yourself down. 

You took one last deep breath before standing straight and fixing your hair and clothes. 

You grab a couple of paper towels, cleaning your face up. 

You stand there looking at yourself in the mirror, making sure you look presentable. 

You nodded towards yourself before heading out of the bathroom and back towards your station. 

You sit back at your desk and begin some paperwork. 

The rest of your day goes smoothly, Thomas never rings, and you never go in there. 

You finish up your day and head home. 

Once you arrive home, you grab the bottle and take it to bed with you. 

You lay in the bed, all bundled up, taking the occasion swing of your drink.

Staring at nothing. 

Till you fall asleep 

Week 12:

You haven't seen Thomas since that night.

Not because you've been avoiding him, but when you came to work the next day, he was gone.

An overnight nurse said he checked out a little after you left. 

You don't know how you felt about that, honestly. 

You aren't conflicted between feeling happy or sad about it.

Honestly, you feel sorta relieved, 

Now you don't have to decide whether you could be with a man like him. 

You felt free, 

from him 

And from being honest with yourself about how you feel about him. 

The only thing that you know for sure is that you'll pray that you never run into Thomas Shelby again. 

Because honestly—

Despite everything

You're still hooked.

**************************

Tag List:

@fannibalsrule @mysticalbouquetwolf-posts

[zablife]

Drinks with Polly in the Parlor

Requested by @notyour-valentine for my 2K celebration An Evening at Arrow House. Warning: This is a dark fic 💀

"Would you care for a glass of champagne, Aunt Polly?" you asked sweetly. You wanted to impress your husband's aunt with your hospitality, but you needed a glass of liquid courage yourself after being left alone with the imposing Shelby matriarch. The silence which had already grown between you was terrifying and made you feel like a failure.

She turned from the mirror where she was checking her crimson lipstick, one perfectly manicured eyebrow arched in your direction as she replied coldly, "Champagne is for celebrations, my dear. I'm afraid a toast seems woefully late considering your nuptials took place weeks ago. Wouldn't you agree?"

You could only blink in shock. It was true you and Tommy had eloped without a single family member present to witness your vows, but he assured you it was the done thing. This was his third marriage after all and you agreed a lavish affair would be inappropriate, especially given the fact that he divorced his second wife less than a year ago. Surely Polly understood all this? Then again, the withering glance she gave, proved otherwise.

"I'm sorry if we've offended you..." you began.

Polly waved off your apology before you could finish, crossing to the bar to pour her own drink. Like Tommy she preferred Irish whisky, neat and she sipped it slowly as she looked you up and down carefully. A small smile began to form on her lips as she noticed the abundance of diamonds caressing your delicate neck.

"It's not you or I who should be apologizing. My nephew can be a careless man," she hummed, smile quickly fading as she stared at her own reflection once more, seeing something which obviously displeased her. "I always thought he favored his mother, but he is so like his father at times the way he treats the women in this family."

"Excuse me?" you asked, twisting your fingers and wondering what could be keeping Tommy. You were beginning to feel uncomfortable with the turn in conversation.

She chuckled darkly as she stopped in front of you, her hazel eyes dancing with a manic energy that made your stomach drop in anticipation of her next words. "I died for him once. Did you know that?"

You swallowed thickly and shook your head, fingers now clutching the cool metal at your throat as if it might make your husband appear more quickly to save you.

"It's alright, I escaped the noose," she assured you, lowering the volume of her voice to that relegated for the telling of secrets. "Climbed through it like a window to the other side. And I found you can do anything you want cause there are no rules, cause there are no risks. When you’re dead already, you’re free," she whispered as though she was imparting wisdom you might find useful one day.

"He did me a favor really," she mused. "Now I'm the one protecting this family because I'm the only one who can see it all clearly. My second sight keeps us safe, you know." However, you only heard the rantings of a madwoman and your body began to tremble involuntarily.

"Oh, darling. You're shaking," she noted, reaching a hand out to steady you. Her fingers grasped your forearm, nails digging in like talons, and anchoring you to the spot. With saccharine sweetness she cooed, "That's a beautiful necklace," drawing out the vowels in beautiful until it sounded like a taunt. "What does a woman like you have to do to earn a bauble like that?"

"T-tommy chose it on our honeymoon because he loves me," you stuttered, eyes searching hers for a sign she would release you from this trap you'd unwittingly fallen into.

"Diamonds," she said reverentially. "Goodness, you are special then, aren't you?" she couldn't help but add sarcastically.

"I should hope so," you answered in a defiant tone you could no longer hold back given her blatant disrespect.

Her hand slipped from you and you took two steps backward as she smirked. "You know it was sapphires for Grace. They represent wealth and abundance so that suited her I suppose. Rubies for Lizzie, all vitality and passion. But here you stand wearing diamonds," she pronounced.

Feeling the clasp of the necklace dig into your skin in the same painful way Polly's nails had clawed against your arm, your irritation grew. "And what does that mean?" you demanded. Your unease caused the gems to weigh down upon you like bricks. You tried to inhale deeply, but found it difficult to draw breath.

"Some say eternity," she answered in amusement before turning her concentration to your neck. A cackle erupted from her lips as though the idea of your union was a complete joke. Your anger mounted along with the suffocating feeling, closing your throat so you couldn't scream or reply.

"Others say invincibility," she added. "But that's not what you two have. I can see it in the air around you. I know what you are," she proclaimed, eyes narrowing at you hatefully. She closed her fists tightly by her side, knuckles white from the force. And that's when you felt the crushing grip at your windpipe. You fell to your knees, hands flying to your throat, ripping at the necklace or whatever phantom force seemed to be cutting off your air supply. As you rocked back and forth spluttering and choking, Polly stood over you triumphantly.

-----------

When Tommy came looking for you in the parlor, Polly sat sipping her whisky calmly on the sofa. His eyes immediately darted to your tear stained face as he heard your hiccuped sobs coming fast between uneven breaths. "Y/n?" he called to you in panic, crossing the room in quick strides before Polly held up a hand for him to stop.

"She has something to say, Tommy," she announced, looking to you expectantly.

Tommy furrowed his brow in confusion as his foot came to rest over something small and hard. Stooping to retrieve the object, the hurt became evident on his face as he surveyed the floor where your beautiful necklace lay in ruins, a constellation of diamonds cast over the carpet.

As the jewel winked up at him, he looked from his palm and back to you as you stood, wobbling slightly from lightheadedness. "I've made a terrible mistake," you sobbed, brushing past him and running from the room with the urgency of someone fleeing their own execution.

Before he could turn to follow, Polly's eyes flicked up to Tommy's, holding him motionless within her hypnotic gaze as she promised answers. "Perhaps now she'll tell you what she really wanted here because it was never you, my boy."

------------

Tag List:

@evita-shelby

@shelbydelrey

@alanadetigy

@severewobblerlightdragon

@lovemissyhoneybee

@theshelbyslimited

@kittycatcait219

@notyour-valentine

@areyenotfondofmelobster

@polishcrazyone

@elenavampire21

@little-diable

@lyarr24

@jomarch-wannabe

@helen06dreamer

@raincoffeeandfandoms

@dearshelby

@cillmequick

@call-sign-shark

@peakyltd

@brummiereader

@runnning-outof-time

@emotionalcadaver

@thegreatdragonfruta

@noforkingclue

[mushies-stories]

He can show it

Thomas Shelby X Reader

warnings: drinking, gross bar guy, kind of proofread i guess as i went along. female reader.

word count: 1226

Thomas Shelby shows his love in small silent ways more often than not. Buying gifts like jewels and clothing, taking you out to nice restaurants in London. Speaking of his feeling was too soft for Thomas though, while he was able to say, ‘I love you’ and he was always showering you with compliments, he was unable to express the range of his emotions and what he’s thinking.  he didn't expand more than the basics.

Sixth months, that's how long Y/N and Tommy Shelby have been seeing each other and other than meeting the family, a few important events and some late nights, he hasn't opened up all that much. Even expressing that he loved her was a recent development. 

Y/N has been trying to find a way to get him to open up a bit more but nothing seemed to be working. If anything, whenever she opened up more to him about things that hurt her or seen or random men who have followed her home in the past, to try and make him feel comfortable it seemed to make him even more protective of her than normal. She started noticing more men on her walks home from the flower shop she worked at. It was just around the corner really and ever since she started dating Thomas not many men have had the guts to go after her. Once they found out who she was if they didn't already know, they ran off rather fast but still she had an escort every night. 

Feeling rather hopeless and just needing a night out with good company, you take Lizzy up on an offer to the garrison. The night had been going well and after a few drinks you and Lizzy were a giggling mess. Bursting into laughter anytime someone unpleasant came up to flirt with one of you. Hitting close to midnight you didn't show signs of stopping while Lizzy was slowing down and was just about ready to head home. 

“Sorry, the kids and work ya know?” Lizzy shrugged as she stood up, grabbing her small bag and slinging it over her shoulder. “But we will be doing this more often, yeah?” she sends you an excited smile. 

You send her one just as enthused. “Definitely!” you got up and gave her a wobbly hug goodbye. “Get home safe.” Saying a final goodbye then it was just you, sat alone at the bar.

Still with half your drink left so she decides to stay to finish it. Five minutes goes by and a lanky, greasy looking man takes the now vacant seat to your left. He tries a few dumb lines and offers to buy you another drink, when you refuse and ignore him he slowly gets more and more frustrated. Trying even harder and insisting you pay him attention. 

Rolling your eyes and turning your attention elsewhere, you face the closed door of the room next to the entrance. You assumed no one had been in there all night, for as long as you and Lizzy had been there no one had gone in or out. You had assumed wrong because moments before the drunk greasy man's anger got the better of him, none other than Thomas Shelby himself came out of the room with John and Arthur. His eyes are on you in a second and just as you are being turned to face the angry drunk you could see Tommy’s face turn to anger. 

The drunk is squeezing your face between his dirty fingers about to begin some rant when he’s suddenly being ripped away from his seat and thrown to the ground. Tommy is hovering over him and punching the man repeatedly. Arthur came to your side to check on you while John had to pull his brother off the man before he killed him. 

The drunk withered on the ground holding his face while Tommy collected himself. “I suggest you get the fuck out and not come back.” Tommy said calmly. When the man didn't get up fast enough for Tommy however he lost it again and picked the man up by the back of his collar and literally dragged him out and threw him on the street. “Next time you lose an eye.” He warned on his way back in. 

Now coming to your side he inspected your face, making sure the man didn't bruise you. “I'm fine Tommy I promise.” you giggled and pulled his hands away to hold in your lap. His knuckles were bloody. He tries to not let any of the blood get on your pretty dress however.

“You sure love?” He asks, still trying to see if there were any marks or dirt. You nod your head with a smile. “How long you been here?” he asks, now getting to business. Why were you out so late?

“I was with Lizzy, she left just a few minutes ago and I was just finishing my drink.” you point to the glass now empty behind you. “That was unless some greasy gross drunk man tried to hurt me and you came to my rescue.” You said, batting your eyelashes up at him and twirling a strand of hair. 

Chuckling he shakes his head while out stretching a hand for you. “Well since the glass is gone, how’s bout i drive you home, eh?” 

Placing your hand in his and leaping off the chair, Tommy had to grab your waist to keep you from face planting. 

On the way to the car you couldn't help thinking about how much you been hoping that 

Tommy would open up more. It's not like he has ever hidden anything from you, he tells you straight when there is a problem with business or the family, even gang related incidents he tells you about. He doesn't hide himself, he just doesn't detail his emotions. With everything that happened tonight it shows he really cares for you, his actions and need to put your safety before all else shows you how much he loves you. 

By the time you made it to the car you were giggling and it was getting harder for Tommy to keep you upright. “Alright love, c’mon in the car.” he opened the door as you leaned against the side of the car. 

“Hey Tommy” You say softly, making Tommy stop and look down at you with a raised eyebrow. “Thank you, for protecting me.”

Tommy raised a hand and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, staring into your eyes with such tenderness. A look reserved only for you. “Love, I’ll protect you from anything.” he stated softly but planley. 

“Anything?” you question him with a mischievous smile. “Even from the law if i murder someone?” you asked, trying to act sierouse. 

With a face cast in shadows from street lights and chillingly straight face, Tommy smiled, ever so softly. “While I don't foresee you, of all people killing a person, I do mean anything Y/N.” His words left you unable to speak, they almost knocked the wind out of you. Morbid but romantic really. “Now. c’mon love. Let’s get you home.” 

With that, Tommy took you home and you were now certain that what you had with Tommy was real, and important to him as well, you knew you would always have him. He loved you and knew how to show it.

[queenquinzel715]

1. John Shelby 18+

Wrd count 1,231

1. John Shelby 18+

Y/n P.O.V

If you told me I'd end up being a nanny to the peaky blinders I'd laugh. I was looking for a job when I got back from being a nurse in France. You would think I would've been able to get a job at a hospital, but no one will hire a gypsy. I met the Lees when I was at the fairs to become their first aid, and that's when I met Polly. She had the kids by herself, and they were pulling her around. I was standing next to the dart game, listening to them whine and beg for all different stuff. With one quick 'hey' they all stopped to look at me.

"Straighten up and act like you have some home training." I tell them with a small smile to Polly.

She asked me if I had any experience with kids, and when I told her my job experiences she asked if I could be a nanny. She told me it pays well, comes with rooming, and will have protection. I accepted when Katie asked me to stay with them, because she had fun with me that day.

The day I moved in was the day I met John. He gave me a hard stare as he was leaving, and didn't come back until dinner only to leave again. I can see why the kids act out, they want attention from their father. The longer I stayed the more angry I got, so one day while the bigger kids were in school I took the smaller one with me to the betting shop. I sat the toddler with Polly as I went to find John. I walk inside his office to him, lighting his cigarette.

"Why are you here? Who's hurt?" He walks around his desk to stand in front of me.

"No one is visibly hurt, but your kids are hurting to see you." I told him. "Yet you wonder why they act up so much."

"I see them when I can." He scuffs as he turns away.

"You see them when they eat dinner. You stay at the Garrison until late night when you could at least stay to put them to bed, and then go to the pub." I rant my frustration out.

"Who do you think you are?" He scolds.

''I'm the one who's drying your kid's face when they are crying for their father who would rather be at the Garrison than be with them!" I get louder as I talk.

With that I stormed out of his office, I couldn't look at him anymore. I sat with Polly until school got out, and she laughed at how long I lasted holding in my true colors. I told her I can't accept men who have an army of kids only to ignore them. As I leave John comes out of his office. He kisses his daughter on her head, looks me in the eyes, and walks away.

After that day he would stay after dinner, read to them, play with them, and would help put them to bed. It took a month for them to actually believe John would keep doing this when he was actually free. At some point once the kids were finally calm we would sit, and talk about anything that happened that day. It would be mostly me listening to his war stories.

"Thank you." He says randomly as we sit in the quiet.

"What for?" I smile.

"For yelling at me in my office. I should've been here." He sits his cup on the table with a sigh. "I won't be out long tonight." He put his coat on as I stood at the stairs.

"I've been told that before." I joke with a big yawn.

He chuckles at me while putting his cap on, and walking closer to me.

"I mean it this time. I know you stay up when you know you should be sleeping." I couldn't help looking down when my face started to burn from his playful scolding.

''I just know sometimes your work is dangerous, and it helps to know you got back." I mumble.

I almost jump out of my skin when I feel his hand move over my shoulder to run my thumb along my cheek. I look up to him closer than before. We lean against the banister of the stairs as he deeply kisses me. I hold onto his waist to keep him close, but we are pulled away from a small giggle.

"Bed, young lady." I call up to Katie who's somewhat hiding in the doorway of her room.

When I look back to John he's smirking at me, and with a quick kiss he walks out. I sigh while I walk up the stairs, putting Kate back to bed, and getting ready for bed myself. I change into my nightgown, roll the ends of my hair, and grab the book I've been reading. I'm halfway through my chapter when I hear the door downstairs close, and footsteps coming up the stairs. With quick quiet movements I grab my revolver to stand at the opening of the door that faces the top of the stairs perfectly. Once I see the top of the person's head I load the gun. They stop at the sound of the click, and raise their hands.

"It's only me, love." John chuckles.

"Sorry I didn't know you'd be back this soon." I put the gun away as he walks in behind me.

"I couldn't stop thinking about something." He stalks toward me as he smirks.

I slowly sit down as I keep eye contact with him. He kisses me with his hands on my thighs, and follows me as I lay back. We throw his clothes around the room as we feel each other's body, and once it comes to my nightgown he slowly runs his hands up my body. He groans when he sees I don't have anything under the gown. I wrap my legs around his waist to pull him closer, and to feel him rub against me.

"John please." I moan into his shoulder.

Once he enters me he hits the hilt, stopping for a moment to kiss me deeply, and let me relax a little. Before he starts moving he grabs the metal headboard to stop it from hitting the wall. The way I could feel every inch of him as he would vigorously pound away. I had to bite his shoulder to stop myself from moaning out, but I would whine out when he would grind a way that sent a shock through my body. With a loud groan and a muffled scream we finish together, and fall onto the bed.

That night changed a lot about how John would act around the house. He would come around a lot more, he told the kids that I wasn't the nanny anymore that I was his girlfriend. Katie kept telling him she knew he liked me, and that he waited so long. Of course I ended up pregnant not long after, and he proposed. Once I became too pregnant, the kids and I had to stay with Ada for our own protection. John still was able to make it to see his little girl, Diana, to be born.

[midnighticee]

finished my jacket for TFcon!

[jamietxrtt]

augusnippets day 17--

i'm using one of the alternate prompts for today-- wearing caretaker's clothes

Roy is trying to be less of a hardass these days. Really, he is.

It's nearly five in the morning, and Roy is huddled under an umbrella while Jamie runs laps in the rain.

He tried to give Jamie the morning off. The rain is more than just a drizzle-- the drops are fat and thick, coming down with enough force to hurt when they find your bare skin. But when he offered to let Jamie go home, the kid gave him a quizzical look. "It's just a bit of rain, mate," he said.

So here they are. Roy standing under the umbrella, his socks soaked through anyway from splashback, and Jamie drenched as a kitten in bathtime, his hair plastered all flat and unappealing against his forehead.

The still-dark morning sky flashes suddenly, the low rumble of thunder making Jamie stumble. The next time Jamie loops back around on his laps around the park, Roy grunts, "Stop."

Jamie does. "Yeah?" He keeps jogging in place, likely trying to keep warm in the chill of the wet morning.

"We're done out here."

"What?" Jamie stops moving then. "No. I can keep going."

"Nope. Come on. Come back to my house."

"Don't go easy on me, Roy."

"I'm not. I just don't wanna fucking be out here anymore. You can do fucking burpees in my living room or whatever if you're that obsessed with tiring yourself out-- just come on."

Jamie finally relents, following Roy like a duckling back to Roy's place.

To keep Jamie from dripping too long on the hardwood floors of Roy's entryway, Roy tosses him a spare sweatshirt and pair of sweatpants after changing himself. Jamie stares at the dry clothes blankly for a moment, then looks up at Roy. A strange smile starts crawling its way across Jamie's face.

"What?" Roy asks.

"You're getting soft, old man." That smile is hard to describe-- it's amused, but condescending, like Roy is some befuddled old granddad whose confusion Jamie finds endearing. "You never would've let me get out of that a year ago."

Roy shrugs. "Yeah, well." He's trying to be less of a hardass.

His first reaction, when Sam landed himself in the hospital with a sprained knee from training (training, not even a game), was to be defensive. There had been pointed questions from Rebecca, about whether Roy was pushing the team too hard to the point where this kind of accident was inevitable, and Roy was still thoroughly in his no-fuck-you-I’m-right phase of responding to the situation. It took a few sessions with Dr. Fieldstone to get him to change his tune.

“That’s how I was trained as a kid. They pushed us ‘til we dropped and then pushed us some more.” Roy shook his head. “Don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m not fucking Ted, y’know. Everyone should’ve known I was gonna run the boys harder than he did.”

Dr. Fieldstone hummed diplomatically, as she often did when Roy got himself worked up into an angry rant. When it became clear he wasn’t going to continue, she prodded. “And how do you feel about your coaches from that time?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your coaches when you were a child. That pushed you like that. When you think of them now, how do you feel?”

“Christ, I fucking hated them. Still do. If I ever see fucking Shelby again, I swear to God--”

“And is that how you want the boys to feel about you?”

She’s good at her job, that one.

Now, he turns to Jamie. “I’m… working on it, I guess.”

Jamie shakes his head as he turns to duck into Roy’s guest bathroom to change. “You’re fucking weird, man, you know that?” He calls through the door. “I can never predict what you’ll do next.”

“Thank you,” Roy says, honestly, but it makes Jamie laugh.

He reappears a minute later sufficiently less dripping, and now it’s Roy’s turn to stifle a smile. That sweatshirt is already big on Roy, which means it’s even bigger on Jamie-- his sleeves are too long, and he’s bunched them up over his hands. The Jamie-ness of the habit sparks a strange fondness in Roy, and he has to fight to re-school his expression. Despite the dry clothes, though, he still looks pretty tragic. His hair has been messed up by the process of changing his clothes, and now it’s spiking all over the place like Jamie’s stuck a fork in an outlet.

Roy elects not to tell him, hoping it’ll dry like that.

“Why are you so obsessed with training today, anyway?”

Jamie tosses him a quizzical look, like the answer is glaringly obvious. “Gotta be ready for Saturday, don’t I?”

Roy feels his face soften against his will, feels his eyebrows un-knit. “Jamie.” They’ve had a few more run-ins with City since everything with Jamie’s father went down, but he always manages to work himself up into a state whenever they’re slated to play Richmond. “You’ll be okay.”

Jamie just shrugs it off.

“So, then,” he says, brushing past Roy. “What was that you said about burpees in your living room?”

“Uh, no. I was joking.” He trails Jamie as the younger man doesn’t stop. “Jamie. You are not getting my clothes all sweaty. Hey-- Jamie.”

[themultifandomgal]

Tommy Shelby- Silent Treatment

This one was requested. Thank you everyone who has sent in requests

"I'm sick of it. All he does is come home and go to the office to work. I don't know when he last looked at me let alone touched me" I rant to Tommys siblings and aunt in the betting shop

"I'll have a word with him love" Polly says with sympathy

"No don't worry. I told him this morning that I wanted more attention from him and he said that I was being needy"

"Just walk around naked that will get his attention" John laughs. I roll my eyes at him

"YN he's a workaholic. Always has been" Ada points out

"I know. And I know this was all to help the family and me, but I'm lonely Ada. We haven't got kids yet... or if ever the way things are going"

"Don't be like that YN your not alone"

"There's a difference with being alone and feeling lonely Ada"

"Ok here's my advice" Arthur starts but Polly cuts him off

"I don't think your advice or your brothers advice would be any help here"

"He just needs a good fuck"

"Don't we both" I mumble "how can a man go months without sex? do you think he's seeing someone else?" I ask wide eyed

"He's crazy for you. No" Ada tells me

"But Lizzie is..."

"Lizzie isn't fucking Tommy" Micheal now speaks after being quiet this whole time

"And how do you know?" I ask

"Because I saw Lizzie down the cut with some bloke. She's been seeing him"

"I can't carry on like this" tears threaten to spill but as the door opens revealing Tommy, I hold them back and cross my arms

"What's going on in here aye" he says sounding annoyed

"Nothing love, just talking" Polly smiles at him

"YN ready to go home?" Tommy asks me

"Good luck" Ada gives me a slight smile

"Bye. Thanks for the chat" I wave to the Shelbys and walk out with Tommy leading me to his car.

During the car ride I stay quiet as Tommy is talking. When we arrive home I greet Mary and Francis then head up to mine and Tommys room.

"What's wrong with YN?" Tommy asks Francis

"Have you asked her Mr Shelby?"

"No, but if you know what's wrong your going to tell me" Francis sighs

"Mrs Shelby hasn't told anything, but I could take a guess"

"Well" Tommy asks getting inpatient

"I'm afraid your wife may be feeling a little lonely"

"What why? she's not alone"

"No, but have you noticed that recently you have been in your office more so?"

"Fuck" Tommy rubs his hands over his face "thank you Francis" Tommy leaves Francis to follow his wife upstairs where he finds her in their room taking off her makeup.

The bedroom door opens I look up through the vanity mirror to see Tommy, surprised he hasn't gone to his office. Looking back to myself I finish taking off my makeup

"Don't know why you wear that stuff. Don't bloody need it YN. Your beautiful" I ignore him "come on love talk to me" I once again ignore him and get up from my vanity and walk into the bathroom to run myself a bath. As I shut the door  behind me I hear him mutter 'shit'.

After running my bath and getting into it, I'm only on my own for a few minutes before Tommy walks in only wearing is trousers "I've been neglecting you haven't I" I sigh in response "I guess I deserve the silent treatment don't I" Tommy kneels beside the bathtub and takes a flannel rubbing it over my body. Neither of us speak, he's just there taking care of me.

Nothing sexual happens between us, this is his way of saying sorry, but I want to actually hear the words. So when we get ready for bed and lay next to one another Tommy pulls me into him "I'm sorry YN"

"I know, but we need boundaries with work. After a certain time I want you to stop working and relax with me"

"How does 6 o'clock sound aye? At 6 I'll leave the office. We can have tea together then do whatever you want to do" I nod my head agreeing to what he's saying "I love you YN"

"I love you too Tommy"

[runnning-outof-time]

Hey, I love your stories so much, Thank you for your beatiful work❤️ “Did you even miss me?” With Tommy as much angst you can write maybe ?

Hi there, anon! Thanks so much for sending this in! I hope you like what I’ve done here! I tried to do as much angst as I could. Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Part of my 3.5k Celebration — find more stories here!

Three Years

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: language, mentions of war

Word Count: 636

Summary: Tommy’s attempts to reconnect with (Y/N) don’t go as he hoped they would.

“(Y/N), wait!” Tommy called for (Y/N) as he hastily followed her out of the Marquis. She was still several steps ahead of him, the pouring rain not slowing her down one bit. “Stop fucking walking, please!”

“Why?!” she yelled back to him, slowing her pace down to see if he’d notice. Within seconds, she felt his hand on her shoulder before he spun her around to face him. “Why should I have to stop for you, huh?!” she asked, venom laced into her words as her angry eyes found his.

“I wanted to speak to you,” he answered her, keeping his voice level. He had no right to be angry.

“Speak to me? You finally want to do that?” her response was spoken in an incredulous manner. Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but she continued before he was able to. “Why the fuck did you even come to this pub? It’s one of the few that I can go to; where I know I won’t see you. But now you’re here, and you’re in my fucking face, and you’ve ruined my night!” she went on with her rant, her voice raising with each word she spoke. She didn’t care that she was screaming in the middle of the street though. This was what he deserved.

“(Y/N), listen…”

“No,” she shook her head, cutting him off again, “no, I’m not going to listen to you, Tommy. You lost your chance to speak when you didn’t come to visit me for three-fucking-years. I wrote to you, I worried about you every single day when you were in France, and then the war ended and I got nothing.” She paused a moment, taking a deep breath in hopes to stop her lungs from burning. Her angry eyes found his again, and she stared into them for a moment before asking the question that was burning in her mind: “did you even miss me?”

Every planned answer that Tommy was stacking up in his mind vanished after hearing her final five words. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and instead he stood there like a fool, his brows scrunched together and jaw slack as he let everything she just said sink in.

“You know what, I don’t even want to hear your answer,” (Y/N) broke the silence, dismissing him before he even had the chance to think of a response. She turned and began walking away from him then, leaving the lighted vicinity of the pub so that she could return to her home.

Tommy stood there and watched her walk away. He was itching to rush to her side; to escort her home so that he could ensure nothing happened to her. But he knew that she didn’t need him to do that. He also knew that him doing so would probably make things worse than they already were.

To put it simply: she was right. Three years was too long of a time for someone to be gone for. Tommy had his reasons, sure, but those put aside, he still hurt her. He hurt the woman who’d been there for him right up to the day he boarded the train for France. He hurt the woman that his mind would drift to while he was stuck in the tunnels and trenches. He hurt the woman he thought he’d have by his side for the rest of his life.

And now he had to come to terms with the fact that she was gone forever. He shouldn’t have came to this pub; shouldn’t have asked around about her and then intentionally sought her out. If only he’d known better…then he wouldn’t have been caught out in the rain. If only he didn’t let three years pass by.

Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @rangerelik @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @gypsy-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @youtifulsunshinelixfics @forgottenpeakywriter @cljordan-imperium @areyenotfondofmelobster @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @iambored24601 @shaddixlife

MASTERLIST

[mysticalsoot]

Everyone’s like going crazy about everything going on with Wilbur and Shelby but the thing is, and this is aimed at people that say “i always knew that—“ How would you know? Do you know them without the personas they put up for you online? Have you seen them without them knowing cameras were around? (Hopefully not, that sounds weird.)

E.g.

“Wilbur always acted kind of weird”

And you know that, how? Because his persona was like that? People need to understand that you do not know these people neither do they know you. They have online personas. How they act online/in front of an audience is not how they act in real life privately.

“Shelby and Wilbur were close on camera!!”

On camera. A good reference would be family pictures. You know how you take like birthday pictures and it’s always awkward that you have to smile so that it looks like you’re happy in the picture? Thats almost basically what a persona is, you’re acting a certain way so that others that see content with you acting that way think you are that way and act like that naturally even without cameras.

But yeah, my point is that people need to stop assuming that “they knew” when three (?) days ago Wilbur was literally their favourite person ever.

no one knows the definite answer. no one. no one could have known shit.

we still don't know much of anything.

I can't find the vod anywhere, I cannot find clips that are evidence of what was said. i cannot find what SHELBY said. all I've heard is what has been told to me by people harassing me in my asks, and what I've seen on Twitter.

it was never confirmed they dated, and if we function under the assumption they did there is more to it than we are being told. much. much more.

I am saying this as an abuse victim myself. as someone who's been a victim and had my abusers friends (including mine, aside from one) turn against me because of what had been said, because of how they victimized themself. I thought it was my fault, I was 12 & 13. it was not my fault.

my experiences have made me learn there is always more to a story.

believe victims first, but know yourself too. if you start to feel like you're saying or believing something because you *have* to or are being forced/told to believe it, take a step back and reevaluate for YOU.

i respect everyone's decision, and opinions. they may not be mine, but I respect it.

sorry, I kind of started ranting, but I hope I got my point across.

reminder; anon asks are off, so don't think about harassing me

[traumadumpwriter]

Heavy trigger warning! This story includes heavy themes of ab*se, r*pe, self h*rm, mental illness and violence.

You can check out the other chapters by going on the Freedom tag on my page!

All likes and comments are massively appreciated

Freedom: A John Shelby mini fic

Chapter Seven: 5217 words

Alice had stayed leant into John's side for the whole walk home, his arm on her waist making her feel safe in the dark Birmingham streets. They were both still covered in blood, illuminated in the occasional fire or streetlamp - but of course no passerby dared to question them.

John felt extremely protective of Alice, wanting to get her home as soon as possible and away from the preying eyes of men. He was hardly surprised that David was stupid enough to have attempted the vile act - having an intense dislike for the man instantly upon first glance - but with him, Tommy and Arthur in the building; that was incredibly stupid.

"He's lucky he's still fucking alive. Should've bloody killed him. Shouldn't have let Alice get her hands dirty. Should've taken her into the back room and then shot the cunt myself." His thoughts began to fester and he started to feel irritation and self doubt until Alice's voice broke the still air.

"You know, one of the first nights I came back, I had a dream about you." She sounded amused; like she was telling a joke rather than admitting a deep subconscious desire. "I only ever really had nightmares, so I took it as a sign."

He wanted to tease her, to ask if it were dirty. But he found himself unable to talk as her rapid mood swings once again left him temporarily dumbfounded. He didn't know wether to comfort her or be scared of her.

Alice on the other hand, was just happy to be in John's arms; the nightmare of that day quickly fading from her mind as she focused on the handsome man, unaware of his stress.

"I was in the caravan, dark and alone. Then I was falling, like the floor just disappeared or something, and suddenly I was on the high street, surrounded by all these people... I was trying to get through the crowd, away from my husband. He was chasing me and I was shouting out for someone to help me, but no one did." John's eyes flicked from her lips to the pavement ahead as she spoke, intently listening to each word but also paranoid of any man who drew too near.

"Then you were there.. And you took my hand. And everything was okay." She playfully scoffed before looking up at John. "Do you ever dream?"

He sighed. On any other day the realisation that he'd seeped into her subconscious as a knight in shining armour would surely give him quite the kick, but today was a bad day. He was tired and stressed out; his mind going from one bad place to another. And her question didn't help, it seemed tedious compared to the real troubles on his mind.

"Yeah. I dream." He replied bluntly. "Bad ones usually."

His annoyance was clear in his tone and Alice immediately stopped walking, crossing her arms.

"Why are you angry? Is it me? Did you lie?"

He turned to her with an equally annoyed look. "Lie about what?"

"About being okay with what I just did."

Another sigh escaped his mouth although this one was more of a groan as he looked down at her subtly insecure face.

"No, I'm not exactly feeling fine and dandy about you doing Blinder work, nor you slitting your wrist in front of us like it were nothing.. But I didn't lie, the cunt had it coming." He answered.

"So why the mood then?" It was almost like she hadn't heard anything that had come out his mouth other than 'I didn't lie' - it was all she'd asked for after all.

"Because of what I just said. You shouldn't be doing blinder work, it ain't right." His voice got louder before going quiet again as he started to rant more to the sky than to Alice. "I should've gutted him that first night he was in there giving you hassle. Then he would've never had the chance to bother you tonight. And I should've taken that bloody knife out of your hand before you did anything stupid."

"You shouldn't blame yourself." She cut off his ramble and stepped towards him, gesturing to continue their walk home. "I liked it."

He hesitated before putting his arm back around her; feeling almost uncontrollably submissive to her gaze. But he did it nonetheless and started to walk again. The house was only a minute away.

"Yeah I could see that." He let out an awkward tut. "And that's not the point."

"So, what is the point?"

There were a million and one points. All of which he knew would fall onto deaf ears. Alice clearly wasn't feeling particularly receptive that night and she could be hard to get a point across to on her good days. The only thing that really, truly mattered in that moment was that he had her in his arms and she was safe.

"It doesn't matter." He grumbled before sliding the key into the front door. "Just don't fucking cut yourself again, you could've hit a vein or artery or something."

He didn't look at her, instead choosing to focus on the door when he spoke those words. It made him feel awkward, giving an instruction like that to her as if she were a child.

"It's not like she'll listen anyway." He thought sourly but then she suddenly stood up on her toes and planted a short kiss on his lips, changing his tone instantly.

"If it makes you feel better I won't cut my arms." Looking up through her thick lashes with genuine, palpable care, John let the knot in his stomach loosen slightly and a smile tug at the corners of his lips.

"Or just don't cut anywhere." He said with another sigh before softly planting a kiss on her forehead.

This kiss was longer as he held her for a moment, taking in all that had happened that day from start to finish; it had been a blood soaked one and he needn't think of anymore.

"I suppose you'll be boiling the water for a bath." He said once he pulled away. "Given the state of you and all."

Alice would've usually scoffed or rolled her eyes at such a comment but she could tell that John was feeling sensitive so she refrained from it, instead smiling up at him with star filled eyes. There were a few spots of blood on his face - light splash back from David or herself - but mostly it was his hands and shirt that were stained red.

"Yeah I was gonna. You too I'm guessing?"

"Yeah. I'd invite you to join me if you weren't such a danger to knobs."

This did earn an eye roll, playful though as they finally stepped in the front door.

"Yeah yeah. Count yourself lucky."

—————

A few weeks later and that incident had put some more pep in Alice's step. It had made her feel stronger and prouder - more back to her old self.

She'd even bragged about it to Ada, about how she could've killed the man in a swift move if she'd wanted but had shown the restraint to not do so. Her friend had mixed feelings about the whole situation, as did Polly who'd heard of it through Arthur.

The matron of course said nothing about it to Alice; mostly stewing silently on her worries for the girl and the guilt it brought. There had been one time she'd discussed it with Tommy in his dimly lit office.

"You three just let her cut her wrist, then you didn't even kill the bastard who tried force himself on her. What if she'd gone too deep and bloody died?" She hissed, watching Thomas take a deep drag of his cigarette as he thought over her words, his face devoid of emotion as per.

Finally he replied "But she didn't" earning an irritated tut from his aunt.

"Do you even care? You know that your brother is completely in love with her and is no doubt going to ask to marry her. Does that mean nothing to you?"

Another sharp inhale of smoke before he spoke, meeting Polly's intense gaze.

"You're not the only one who made a promise, Pol."

"But I'm the only one who seems to bloody care about keeping it!"

Ada on the other hand had expressed direct concern to Alice but it fell upon deaf ears as she insisted she was fine and that her self inflicted injury was "no big deal."

When Alice wouldn't listen, she vented to her husband instead. He'd been around more as the summer ended and autumn drew near, buying Karl and Ada new warm hats and gloves and it almost made Ada forget how much she hated him when he was away. It wasn't until she told him about light details of the David incident that she remembered why she hated him so.

"At least she can defend herself." She had protested to Freddie, after ranting and shortly regretting it as he called Alice a litany of insults.

"The girl is a fucking psycho. You need to stay away from her. And keep her away from Karl!" He'd demanded, causing a huge fight between the two.

Meanwhile, John had been trying not to worry about her but struggling not to. The image of the woman slicing her wrist with no apprehension, no fear, no reaction, had embedded itself in his brain and with it a litany of new fears.

He always knew that she was unpredictable and he always knew that she'd done things like that as a kid, he'd seen it for gods sake.

But seeing it now was different. It wasn't a distant shock anymore; something that could be ignored and left for someone else to deal with. Instead it was at the forefront of his mind as everyday he realised more and more that he really loved this woman, she wasn't just some fantasy anymore - and as much as he wanted to hurt any man who dare even approach her - she was her own biggest threat.

"I just don't bloody get it." He sighed to Arthur after a long day at the shop. Alice was still serving pints from the bar and chatting merrily to customers whilst the two spoke in their booth.

"Why the fuck would you want to do that shit to yourself? It's like she don't care if she dies or not!"

Arthur also sighed, wanting to comfort his brother but having no good answers.

"I don't bloody understand it either." He muttered before taking a big gulp of his drink. "Maybe one day it'll make sense."

"Nah." John quickly protested with a scoff, his eyes remaining fixed on the wooden hatch in the wall, like she would reappear through it at any moment with a fresh drink. "She hides things. I don't even wanna know what she does to the rest of her body-"

Arthur let out a rude chuckle to interrupt him, banging his drink down on the table before proclaiming "What, you mean you're this soft for a bird and you ain't even fucked her?" with a typical manly leer.

John shot him a sharp glare, tutting and nodding sarcastically as he started to feel a defensive anger rush to his head like air to a balloon.

"Look, don't fucking talk about her like that, alright?" He aggressively raised his voice, much to the somewhat surprise of his brother.

Then all of the air was gone. He was at a loss for words again, as too often seemed to be the case with Alice.

"She ain't like that.. she- she-" John started to stammer and then paused for a moment, trying to condense all his thoughts into one sentence. It was through scouring his mind that he suddenly remembered the rage he'd had for Jones and how he was the one who made her like this. He was the one to be blamed.

"The fucking scum bag who took her.. he did some real rotten stuff that I don't think she's ever gonna forget." John finally finished with a bitter sneer before downing his drink.

"Well why haven't we bloody blinded the cunt?" Arthur retorted.

Another frustrated sigh fell from his brothers lips.

"I fucking sent Johnny Dogs on the trail. Can't bloody find him." He answered shortly. "And if Johnny can't find him, how are we gonna?"

"Bloody ask her mate."

"She don't talk about none of that.. but I wanna make things serious. I think she's my one." His demeanour became more solemn as he confessed to his brother.

Whilst their conversation got more intense, Alice was on the other side of the wall blissfully unaware. It had been fifteen days since the incident with David and John had spent most nights with her since. When the clock hit eleven and Alice was closing the pub, he'd turn up at The Garrison to make sure she was walked home safe. Or if the path was clear, they'd end up talking for hours between free liquor and passionate kisses.

She hoped that tonight would be one of those nights, daydreaming amongst pouring drinks. But alas, John kept ordering and ordering yet never inviting her in which struck her as peculiar, especially as the night drew to a close.

"Are him and Arthur really just getting wankered by themselves on a Tuesday?" She thought, slightly amused despite her disappointment.

John answered her internal question by suddenly slamming open the cubby door, drawing all attention to the brothers for a second before everyone meekly returned to their conversations. His eyes instantly went to Alice's and a smug smirk crossed his lips once he saw that she too was intensely watching him.

It was like she could read his mind, a blush forming on her face as she realised he'd caught her staring. Not that it really mattered, but his smirk made her feel like it might.

He stepped over to her with a drunken swagger, going straight behind the bar and grabbing her hand.

"John! What are you-" She started to ask but he leant in close and moved his other hand to the small of her back.

"Arthur will close up. Come with me." He whispered in her ear, sending a quick wave of shivers down her spine. The smell of liquor on his breath almost sent her into a panic as a reel of bad memories flashed before her eyes, but that panic was quickly subsided by John's comforting, tobacco and cinnamon laced scent swinging her back into reality.

"Okay." She nodded and squeezed his hand to which he immediately grinned and pulled her away, swiftly leading her through the front door and out into the street.

There was an apparent gleam of excitement across John's face - something that made Alice giggle and her stomach flip.

"Where are we going?" She called to him from behind as he pulled her forward.

He carried on pacing through the road without a word until they reached his automobile and he smirked "We're going to go dance."

"I've not got a dancing dress, shoes nor any makeup! You've given me no time to prepare." She tutted, although a smile did remain on her face.

"You don't need none of that looking lovely as you are."

After slight persuasion, John swung the car around to Ada's so that Alice could borrow something more appropriate to wear, impatiently beeping outside as he waited.

Inside, Ada was rummaging through her wardrobe and chatting excitedly to Alice as she held Karl - much to the silent displeasure of Freddie who was just laid on the bed listening to their gossip, knowing an argument would later ensue.

When Alice finally stepped out of the house clad in a black, sequinned dress that rested a few inches above her knees, John's jaw almost dropped and the beeping immediately halted.

"I've not got anything on my face, done nothing to my hair." She complained, placing her work plimsoles in the backseat before sliding into the passenger side. "I look a bloody mess."

The man didn't immediately respond, mentally noting her statement as ridiculous and becoming distracted by the vision before him. His eyes ran down her legs slowly and sweetly like sticky toffee, a smirk twinging at the corners of his lips when he finally reached her borrowed shoes and saw the three inch heels attached to them. It was then that his eyes went back to hers and he finally replied with a smug expression.

"You look fucking gorgeous.. and I'm the one who gets to show you off tonight, how lucky am I?" He grinned, making Alice blush and giggle.

"You're such a gentleman John. It's a wonder no one else got to you before me." She doted and he almost drunkenly said the same back to her before quickly closing his mouth, remembering 'someone did get to her before me.'

He tried to laugh it off and think of something else to say but Alice noticed his awkward change up and it only took her a few seconds to suss out what words he'd stopped himself from saying.

"You're gonna have to show me the ropes of this dancing business-"

"You were going to say the same to me until you remembered my husband, weren't you?" She cut him off plainly, once again earning an awkward silence from John as he scraped his brain for what to say back.

"It's okay. I know I'm damaged goods." She continued with a scoff before a playful smile sprung from her lips and she lightly tapped John "I was just kidding. What's the sour face for?"

He was annoyed now. Why did she have to say stuff like that? And then have the nerve to expect anyone to be okay about it?

"But you weren't kidding and even if you were, it ain't funny Alice. And why do you still call him your husband? Ain't like he earned that." John hissed but Alice still remained amused.

"Does it make you jealous?" She teased.

John tutted and pulled a disgusted face. "Of that cunt? Are you fucking serious?" His volume raised slightly and his eyes sent daggers, sending a sudden pang of anxiety through the previously cocky woman.

Still though, she had to keep up a facade so she stayed cool, staring back at John with an equally intense gaze.

"What's it matter if I was?" She raised an eyebrow.

That visibly annoyed him more.

"Stop fucking doing this, Alice! You can't just say shit like that and expect me to say nout about it! And then all of these fucking bullshit answers and riddles when I ask you anything! I'm trying to help you, I wanna help-"

"Well I didn't ask for help!" She interrupted him sharply. "And it's not like you tell me anything about how you're feeling or what you've gone through!"

John was visibly taken aback by that.

"See. You think I don't know, but I do. I see it. The war in your eyes. The war you've carried on fighting even after coming home. Why don't we talk about that? Why don't you tell me how you truly feel right now?"

Thick silence filled the car, Alice brewing with irritation whilst John sat motionless in thought, trying to compile the right sentence from the many words jumping around his head.

"Not so easy when it's about you, is it?" The woman broke the silence snidely, crossing her arms.

John instantly replied this time, an answer finally coming to him and leaving no space for quiet as he plainly said "So you wanna know how I feel right now then?"

All of the hope that had been sucked from Alice in the moments prior was now making a slow return. His eyes locked onto hers were showing a vulnerability he'd never shown, so she almost smiled as she quietly responded "Yes. Tell me."

"I feel like, I want to take things further.. but you've still got secrets and a husband... and I feel like he still owns you." The words struggled to come out, feeling as bad to say as they were to hear.

Alice's heart had been lifted and then crushed all within a few seconds.

"John.. I... He's dead to me." She stammered, feeling stupid and rejected, trying to hold back a wave of emotions.

"Say his name then. Or the name he gave to you."

Another thick silence.

"Exactly. He ain't dead to me. You can't even say his name it scares you that bloody much. I-I've got to kill him Alice." John's tone was intimidatingly serious but went soft towards the end as he saw her demeanour crumble.

For some reason, tears started to fall from her eyes upon hearing that. Maybe it was the fact that John cared that much about her; the intense realness of his emotion, or maybe it was the overwhelming fear of the man they were speaking of. Either way, she was more embarrassed than ever and quickly turned to open the car door but John stopped her, lightly grabbing her arm and pulling her towards him.

"Stop it John, I'm a bloody stupid disgrace and I need to go. Find another girl to dance with." She quietly cried, looking down to avoid meeting his gaze as she gave his pull no resistance.

It pained him so much to see her like this; full of self hatred and suffering because of something done to her by an evil person. The conversation had sobered him up and he'd lost most of the confidence that he'd been building up with each bottle in the hours prior.

However, he knew he still needed to say it - he still needed to tell her the truth. Arthur's earlier words rang through his head; "Tell her before it's too late, before she leaves again or does something unfixable to herself!"

He took a deep breath, placing his hand on her shoulder and squeezing it.

"Look at me, darling." He said quietly and she slowly lifted her head, her glistening eyes meeting his steely ones.

"You're none of those nasty things you say about yourself... I fucking love you, Alice. I've been dreaming of you ever since you left and I don't wanna dance with no one else... I recon I want you to be my wife someday-"

Her heart jumped into her throat and the world felt frozen. Did he really just say that? She was too shocked to even smile, instead interrupting him with a wide eyed "Really?"

"Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't I?" He grinned before nervously adding "Is that not what you want?"

Finally, she was able to relax and grin, her tears quickly drying up "Of course that's what I want" moving her hand to cradle John's face.

In the dim light, they shared a slow and passionate kiss, fingers intertwining and heartbeats racing. The romantic atmosphere was cut short though by John pulling away and sighing "But as I said before; it's all someday. There's some things I need to do first and killing that bastard is one of those."

Alice scoffed.

"Why? Because he's still my husband in the eyes of some questionable God? Or because he took a part of my body? 'Cus if that's why, you've got a long list." She was regaining her confidence and talking nonchalantly, unintentionally sending a dagger into John's gut.

"It's because I fucking love you Alice, didn't you hear me? And I'm gonna kill every fucking bastard who ever laid a finger on you. You understand?" His irritation was bubbling again despite his straight face and it suddenly began to make sense to Alice; John's desire to kill Jones.

Was this love? The real love that she'd only ever dreamed of or read about? Was she really lucky enough to have a man care for her this much?

And It's not like she didn't also have a deep desire to see Jones dead. But she never expected anyone else to care, let alone this much.

There were so many worries racing through her mind though, the fear of seeing Jones again, the worry that they wouldn't find him and therefore John might refuse to be with her. The pressure was immense.

But with a sharp inhale and quick dab of her eyes, the brunette nodded and declared "I'll help you find them, but I want to be the one to kill him."

—————

Despite the earlier intense conversation, by the time they reached the club, the mood was cheery and playful again. Both felt completely enamoured by each other, hands constantly intertwined or roaming further onto their bodies - especially as they danced. The club was quite busy; small and cosy with warm lighting and yet having an air of snobbery, like it were a secret club that the pair shouldn't have stumbled into. They didn't mind though, ignoring the whispers and looks as they laughed the night away.

John's words kept repeating in her head, giving her butterflies as she looked into his eyes and pictured being his wife. His protective arm and gentle patience had finally made her feel unconditionally safe with the man- along with a couple drinks - and she found herself uncontrollably lustful for him; even more so than she'd been before.

Now she felt ready. He'd said he loved her for goodness sake. There's no way he'd hurt her.

With a grin, she removed her arms which were draped loosely around his shoulders and grabbed his hand - this time being the one to lead him out of the building.

"Why we leaving beautiful? I's about to get us another drink." John mumbled in her ear, planting kisses to her neck between each word.

"Because I love you. And I want you." She replied, looking straight ahead as they headed towards the automobile.

John's steps almost halted. It had slightly upset him earlier that she didn't say it back, but he'd managed to keep it hidden as her emotions felt more important than his. Even as they'd danced and kissed, he'd secretly been worrying that he'd confessed too soon and she didn't really feel the same way.

A satisfied smirk set across his face once her statement had fully settled in; the spark in his belly now a full fire. He beamed and span Alice to face him, planting a big kiss on her lips before they climbed into the car.

"Where are we going?" He swallowed, Alice's hand teasingly trailing along his thigh.

"Yours, I guess." She smirked confidently, taking her hand away from him to grab a cigarette from the small compartment in the car.

He instantly missed her touch and craved to feel it again, almost feeling like he was being deprived of oxygen. It only took a second for him to put the keys in and start speeding down the road.

Upon reaching John's house, the two were attached to each other even before opening the front door; one of John's hands running down Alice's back whilst the other fiddled with his key.

Once the large door was open, Alice practically shoved him inside; giggling before lacing her fingers through his as he lead her to his bedroom.

The house was small and quiet, only the sounds of their footsteps being heard until they reached the bedroom. She'd passed out on his sofa after talking into the late hours on a few occasions now, but she'd never gone upstairs.

Alice looked around the room slowly, it wasn't much less bare than the room he had at the family house - beige walls and a wooden floor with aged furniture, decorated by the occasional photograph or doily.

"You like it?" John spoke from his sat position on the edge of the bed, snapping her attention back to him.

When their eyes connected she felt her stomach flip and the butterflies she had return tenfold.

"It's okay." She laughed slightly "Could do with some more things on the wall."

"What kind of things?" He replied, his eyes hungrily running up and down her body but his tone suddenly becoming awkward.

Alice realised that she was going to have to initiate whatever happened next - John was obviously either too intimidated or trying to be a gentleman. In truth, it was a mix of both.

"You don't care about that. Let's fuck." She shortly answered with a smirk, shocking John for a second before a heavy wave of relief rushed through him and a grin crossed his face.

She quickly moved to straddle him and his hands instantly started to roam her body, small moans escaping his mouth as their crotches started to grind against each others.

"Take off the dress." He mumbled after a minute, releasing his hands from her arse and his lips from her neck.

"You have to get undressed too. I don't want to be the only one exposing myself." She insecurely returned, earning a smirk from John.

He undid his shirt and pulled off his trousers with no issue, whilst Alice stood awkwardly beside the bed - still fully clothed.

Once he noticed her seeming uncomfortableness, his smirk dropped into a concerned frown and he asked "What's up with you?.. If you want to stop we can stop."

"No. It's not that." Alice quickly replied, swallowing at the sight of his chiseled chest leading all the way down to the bulge in his underwear. "I- I, I just don't know if I'm going to look good."

It made him sad to see the beautiful woman so full of self doubt.

"I wish you could see what I see" He tutted "cus' you're the most gorgeous woman I ever known."

The sincerity in his eyes and voice made her blush and she looked away before starting to unzip her dress, mentally building herself up again. Every second she took to pull it down felt like a minute for John and when the fabric finally dropped he couldn't tear his eyes away.

Her body was as heavenly as he'd imagined, especially as she slowly removed her bra. But his fears were true; she was covered in brutal, angry scars and not all of them looked self inflicted. There were also relatively fresh red lines marking her thighs.

Those weren't things that needed addressing in that moment though, in fact he'd expected it, so he quickly pushed the thoughts away and focused back on her beauty. His hands and lips quickly found themselves back on her body as she moved to straddle him again.

"Fucking hell Alice, you are fucking beautiful." He looked up from her breasts to her face, planting a long kiss on her neck and moving a hand to kneed one of her breasts whilst the other held her waist.

A quiet moan escaped her mouth and she giggled slightly as she started to grind against him. Her mind was focused on nothing but John and his on her. She too felt enamoured by his body, impressed by his skills in the bedroom and the way he made her feel at ease - even as he finally penetrated her.

The night lasted a while until they eventually fell asleep in each others arms, completely exhausted, comfortable and happy.

[creativepawsworld]

Silence - Chapter 13

Pairing = Thomas Shelby x Original Character

Summary = Thomas and Anastasia finally air their feelings regarding Grace.

Warnings = Language, Gang Activity, Guns, Mentions of Virginity, Anger issues, Name Calling

Word Count = 2445

I was correct, my parents didn’t return to Small Heath last night, nor had they returned this morning. I wasn’t worried, I knew they would return eventually, they were probably just enjoying their time away. Something I truly felt like I needed after these past few weeks.

I was late opening the store this morning and the people weren’t shy of letting me know that it wasn’t acceptable. But I wasn’t in the mood for anyone today. So, I simply ignored their snide remarks, choosing to work in silence as they tossed their garments in my direction.

Today I just wanted to stay in my room, lay in bed and reconsider everything. I couldn’t help but think about moving, starting again somewhere new, somewhere outside of Small Heath, outside of Birmingham. Paris maybe? Paris would be lovely, the food, culture and the fashion. But that was probably too far, Scotland was supposed to be nice.

“Sorry we are closed, come back tomorrow when we are open” I tell whoever walked through the door allowing a cold draft to enter and nip at my skin. I didn’t open my eyes to entertain them, I was dreaming of what it would be like living in Paris.

“That door should be locked Anastasia” It was him. Snapping my eyes open, I stood immediately from the wooden chair, leaning my hands against the table with a hard glare. I was getting sick of him just showing up whenever he felt like it.

“Get out” I seethe biting back the anger as best I could, but my words had no effect on him. He stood on his spot, removing the peaked cap from his head, ruffling his hair with one hand, shoving the cap into his pocket with the other. “I said…”

“I know what you said. Heard ya” He rasped, blue eyes locked on mine unbothered, his perfect stoic face unmoving.

“Well, if you heard, kindly fulfil my request and leave” I motioned with my hand to the door.

“Look Stace, I’ve had a real shit 24 hours but I’m here. Can you just…”

“Oh, I’m sorry, how rude of me. You’ve had a bad day. Okay allow me to serve you, what is it you need Thomas?” I interrupted; I noticed his lip twitch at my interruption, but I couldn’t stop myself. He raised his hand to rub at his forehead, eyes narrowing at me in confusion. “What is you want? Is your barmaid busy tonight? Is it my turn now?”

“Grace?” He asked, eyebrows raising, almost questioning what it was I knew about her and just how much.

“Yes Thomas, the lovely Grace. The woman you take on dates to the races and spend the evenings with. The Grace who has the great Thomas Shelby on his knees” I spat, taking only one crutch and limping towards the fire. I knew my foot was almost healed, it wasn’t as painful anymore but in totally honesty my underarm needed a break, I had sores due to the constant fiction yesterday.

“How did you…? Is that what this is about?”

“Just go away Thomas” I sigh closing my eyes willing him to take the few steps back out of the store and not return. But no such luck. I felt his hand on my shoulder, the action had me jumping away from him as best I could without falling over. “Stay the hell away from me”

“I can’t do that Stace” I heard him sigh, I could hear he was getting angry, clearly this was not what he expected walking through the door tonight.

“Why are you here? Clearly you don’t want me. I’m not even worth a date. So, what do you want Thomas? It’s not my virginity, I offered that up on a plate and you rejected it. The barmaid is clearly more your type so just go away, back into her arms, back into her bed and get the hell out of my life” I rant, turning to face him fully, taken back by how close he was to me.

“Your jealous of Grace? Fucking Grace, eh?” He laughed darkly as he stared down at me. He was angry. “I used Grace at the races, used her as part of a deal to get into business was Kimber, offered her up on a fucking plater to him. Is that what you wanted? You wanted me to offer you up to Kimber instead? Use you as a whore?”

“You didn’t…”

“I didn’t what? Didn’t use her as part of a deal? Of course, I did, to be in my business we all make sacrifices. She wants to work for Thomas Shelby, she will get on her knees and earn her place in my business.” He explained to me, a darkness taking over his eyes.

“You’re disgusting” I whimpered feeling sick to my stomach, tears filled my eyes as I was reminded who exactly the man in front of me truly was. I was seeing a completely different side to Thomas Shelby until now. This was the side my family and most of Small Heath were terrified of.

“I’m a fucking bastard but that doesn’t stop you wanting me eh” He spoke lowly, a twinkle sparkling in his eyes. The back of his hand reached up going towards my face, I flinched as he made contact stroking the side of my cheek. I tried to pretend it had no effect on me, choosing to stare at the window at the back of the store instead, but he knew. “You want to be my whore, don’t you Stace?” He asked.

I couldn’t stand that word. Arthur Shelby had called me it on numerous occasions, after the first time I wanted to slap him but knew better. I didn’t have a death wish. But hearing it coming out of Thomas’ mouth, it had affected me.

My hand came up, connecting to the side of his cheek, hard. There was enough force his head turned in the direction of the window, a red handprint starting to appear on his cheek, his hand coming up to inspect the damage.

“ANASTASIA” The unmistakeable voice of my mother shrieked. Gritting my teeth, I turned to face her. Her complexion turning completely white, her eyes were widened in fear. “Mr Shelby, I apologise…. my daughter…I…. I”

“Mother, now is not the…” I try and tell her, but she doesn’t spare a glance in my direction. Turning my attention back to Thomas he hadn’t moved. I knew I was in trouble.

“Edith, what’s happened?” My father’s voice came through the door in a panic. Turning to both my parents, my father facing an unknown scene wrapping his arm protectively around his wife once he noticed Thomas Shelby in the room.

“We don’t have a lot but consider it a down payment. Please just, don’t hurt my daughter. Whatever she has done we will find a way to fix it” My mother pleaded, tears in her eyes as she pulled away from my father, pulling random amounts of money from her purse, holding it in the direction of Thomas who had yet to turn.

“Mother, I can handle this put the money away.” I tell her calmly carefully moving around Thomas, folding my mother’s hands back around her cash and shoving them in her purse. “Mum, I need you to go. I need to handle this”

“Why did you do that? What have you done?” She harshly whispered, refusing to move as I tried my hardest to move her out of the store.

“What is going on?” My father hissed walking towards us, standing behind my mother.

“She slapped him. She slapped Mr Shelby” My mother hissed back at my father, his eyes widening at what he had been told.

“Why would you do that?” He asked harshly, grabbing onto my upper arms tightly but mindful not to hurt me. “Between you and your brother. I don’t…We can’t afford this Ana. We are going to have to sell”

“No you won’t, I’ll fix this” I say to the two of them, but they don’t appear to be listening. Instead, the two of them staring at the other, silently working out how they were going to get out of this one.

“We are not leaving you alone with him…” My mother spoke, shaking her head after a few moments, looking at my father once more who nodded in agreement. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at them both, if only they knew how many times, I had been alone with Thomas and how he has kissed me, touched me even in their own home.

“Mr and Mrs Alder, I would appreciate a word alone with your daughter” Thomas finally spoke up, his hand dropped from his face, but he still wasn’t looking in our direction. His gaze was focused on the fire burning in front of him. “She will not be harmed; you have my word”

“There see, his word is always good father, you know that” I whispered urgently trying to get them out of the shop. “Trust me” I pleaded looking between the pair but sparing a glance at Thomas to see if he was getting agitated with my parents. But he seemed unphased smoking a cigarette, he had pulled out of his jacket.

“No, I can’t.” My mother shook her head. My father was wavering, part of him was considering it but he wouldn’t go against my mother. He hasn’t for as long as I knew him. “I can’t do it William”

“Edith I think we should trust Ana. Let her handle this.” My father responded with a nod. A sad look in his eyes as he looked between Thomas and myself.  “Come on love, let’s go have some tea” My father nodded in my direction as he wrapped his arms around my mother, guiding her out of the shop.  

Inhaling deeply, I followed after them locking the door as they left. I waited until they both disappeared out of sight before turning towards the man to grovel.

“I truly am sorry Thomas, I just… I don’t like that word and when you…” I began my apology, looking down at my fingers. Hearing footsteps I lifted my eyes, he was coming towards me, a crazy look in his eyes. He was going to kill me.

I closed my eyes, bracing myself for impact when I felt his hand wrap in my loose bun pulling my head back, his lips attaching to mine in a hungry, passionate kiss. My mouth immediately fell open in surprise, Thomas taking full advantage as he pushed me against the door. His other hand grasping at my dress, scrunching it up into his hand. His hand trying to sneak underneath it.

“No, no. You can’t…” I tell him moving my head to the side to stop the attack on my lips. Using my hands I pushed him off me as hard as I could but he didn’t go far. “I’m not going to be your second Thomas. You made your choice many times and not once was it me.”

“What are you talking about? What choice?” He panted eyes searching my face for an answer. He seemed confused, generally confused but I couldn’t tell if it was real as he could be lying. Master manipulators like Thomas were always good at lying.

“Don’t play stupid Thomas. It’s not a good look on you” I tell him with a shake of my head.

“Grace? You think I chose Grace over you?” He huffed out a laugh, an incredulous look on his face. “I told you she was part of a deal, using her put us on the map. We are legal now Stace, legal. Do you know how big that is for us?”

“Congratulations, glad you got what you wanted.” I tell him honestly, using the space I had created to try and slip past, but he was quick, hand on my upper arm stopping me from moving.

“Nothing happened between me and Grace. Not at the races, not at her place.” He sighed heavily. I felt his eyes burn into the side of my head, but I still refused to look up. “She tried but I pushed her away. I just needed a place to lay low. The police found the guns. They were coming for me.”

“I heard; Finn told me” I replied completely leaving out his confession. My father was right, he had said that the Peaky Blinders had something to do with the missing guns and here I had a confession from the leader himself.

“Would you have preferred me to go to prison? She hid me, that’s it” He continued, tugging on my arm gently so that I would look up at him. I couldn’t see any form of deception in his eyes but I couldn’t trust my judgement. I had twice before and both times ended up in tears over this man in front of me.

“And you expect me to believe that? Polly said…”

“Oh, Polly said, must be fucking true then eh?”  He spat, gritting his teeth to attempt and control his anger. “There is not a day that goes by without you on my mind. You live here yeah, rent fucking free Stace, rent bloody free” He repeated using his index finger and pointing to his head.

“I don’t…” I try and speak but the words were stuck in my throat. His last sentence had my anger towards him melt away, it had my heart pounding loudly in my chest, exploding with love and happiness. But I had promised Polly I wouldn’t get involved with him; she was right I wasn’t cut out for his ways of life.

“Don’t believe me?” His laugh twisted as he spoke. “What the fuck has Polly been saying eh? You her little puppet now? Polly says jump and you, do it?”

“No”

“Then what is it Stace? Cause it’s not Grace, I haven’t touched her. Wouldn’t touch her.  She is a beautiful woman, but she isn’t you.” He confessed, closing the gap once more the tears falling freely from my eyes.

His knuckles brushed against my cheek softly wiping the wetness away before he opened his hand and cupped my face, I couldn’t help but lean into his touch, a warm feeling running throughout my body. He leaned forward, lips just about touching mine but not quite.

“I’m falling faster, more every hour of the day. Why can’t you see that?” He whispered against my lips. His blue eyes closing as he rested his forehead again my own, waiting for me to make the next move.

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