spite-and-waffles
Stephanie Brown Forever
2K posts
dcu sideblog. pre-52 only. south asian 🇱🇰 she/her. bruce wayne hate zone. shipping police and zionists dni. every batkid is my precious baby.
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spite-and-waffles · 1 day ago
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN SPECIAL: PART 1
Visit his page and give the video a view.
Halloween Special: Part 2
Halloween Special: Behind the Scenes
This is almost word for word the scene from the UtrH comic, but better than I could have imagined! The play of light and shadow, the detailing of the costumes, the settings, the quality of the voices, the perfect blocking, intonation, just... everything. I tried to get as much of it in the video description as possible.
Video description below the cut.
[Video description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. All roles are played by the creator, a tall, well-built young white man.
Night time. A car sits neatly in a parking slot in front of a brightly lit, slatted wall, tail lights a glowing red slash against the black chrome of its body. Red hued white text reading "HAPPY HALLOWEEN (Headphones recommended)" appears across the frame and disappears.
The headlights dim and the door opens. Heavy combat boots hit the aspalt on the driver's side. A black gloved hand takes out a smartphone, the screen flashing flame-red for an instant before pulling up an avatar of a black skull, and hits the call button.
CUT TO: a white-walled room. A bespectacled man in a suit enters.
Bespectacled man in suit (Black Mask's Assistant): *closing the door behind him* "Um. M-Mr. Mask...sir?"
Black Mask stands with his back to him, hands in pockets. The broad back of his iconic off-white suit complements the stark white walls and black accents of the room. When he speaks, his voice is both gutteral growl and hissing menace.
BM: "You better have a good-ass reason for bein' here."
Assistant: "Y-you know that guy who has been...stealing our shipments and killing our men?"
BM: *slight head turn, sarcastic drawl* "Yeah?"
Assistant:"Um..." *holds up phone in disbelief* "He's on the phone." *BM stills* "He wants...to talk to you."
BM holds out black gloved hand without turning around. Assistant hurries forward.
Cut to Black Mask's eponymous skull face as he raises the phone to his ear, dark eyes standing out against the rims of his charcoal eye sockets.
Tinny voice from the phone: "Hello."
BM: "Talk."
Cut back to car. Red Hood leans forward against the open driver's door, the back of his bulky black jacket and red helmet outlined in deep shadow against the brightly lit wall. His voice issuing from the helmet has the mechanical but clear sound quality of an internal mic.
RH: "So, what do you prefer I call you? Black Mask? Mr. Mask?"  *casually pushes door shut with a clap* "Rromi?"
BM: "Don't call me nothin'. Just talk. I'm listening. But just know when I say I'm listening, I'm actually thinking about killing your ass."
RH saunters around the car, the beautifully sleek contours of his helmet gleaming a polished red, its eyes glowing opaque.
RH: "Oh. Well that's not a great way to start our relationship now is it?"
BM: "Yeah, well, I have anger management issues. I abate those urges by murdering anybody who tends to annoy me."
RH: *sardonic* "Dark."
BM: "I take it you fried my shipment?"
RH: "Some of it. Some of it walked away."
BM: "I heard. I take it that you took something then?"
RH: "I did." *casually leans against the car* "Now, I don't mean to toot my own horn here, but um" *clicks tongue* "-it might just be the top shelf item."
BM: *groans, pinching the bridge of his nose between gloved fingers* "Goddamn son of a bitch!" *takes deep breath and straightens* "Alright, Red Rocket, which crate did you grab?"
RH stops at the trunk of the car. Behind him, a row of cars are parked in a neat half crescent, and the ambient noise of low traffic rises.
RH: "Well, sorry to tell you, but I don't exactly have a tracking number." *opens trunk with a snick* "You might recognize it though."
Cut to PoV from inside the trunk as the lid opens. A greenish light emanates from within, deepening the shadows of RH's helmet, the glow of its eyes somehow intensifying in menace.
RH: "It's the one containing over a hundred pounds of pure kryptonite."
BM's eyes go almost cartoonishly round, whites stark against the coal of his face.
BM: "Yeah I'm gonna need that." *turns and paces* "I suppose there's no way to just... persuade you to give it back is there?"
RH: *still leaning over the trunk, shirt almost luminescent in the green glow* "Your definition of persuasion being what, exactly?"
BM: "Well. One, I won't kill you. Number two - I won't. Fucking. Kill. You. Number three, and this is the most important one so listen up-" *Assistant and BM both sit down at the table* "You can have a job. Come and work for me."
RH's phone and eyes of his helmet are lit bright bluish-white in the darkness, green glimmers playing over red sheens.
RH: "Okay. One problem. I don't wanna work for you."
BM: "Okay then what do you want?"
RH: "I want. A..tremendous amount of money"
BM: "How much we talkin-"
RH: "Fifty million dollars."
BM: "Christ kid- fifty?? What d'you tryin' to budget a movie??"
Assistant: *leans in, hissing furiously* "Fifty?? Liquid?? What, is he insane??"
BM: *covers phone and leans towards him* "No, the insane ones make a suit out of the rock and then march it into Metropolis to play the king of the fuckin' mountain. This one knows what he's doing."
Assistant: *sputters in disbelief and leaves chair, agitated*
BM: *returning to call* "Fine. Listen, kid. That kinda traffic sends up way too many red flags. I can do four million cash today, and then transfer ten million. Take it or leave it."
RH: "Well." *holds up an object out of frame that washes his whole profile in a sinister blaze of red* "I'm sure I can find a buyer to match my price."
BM: "Yeah. And I'm sure I can find hippos that could paint houses. But I ain't never seen one. Have you?"
RH: "Deal." *throws item back in trunk and shuts the lid* "I'll call you in an hour with the location. And Sionis? I suggest you don't keep me waiting." *ends call*
BM: *looks at phone in disgust* "That little bastard hung up on me." *tosses phone onto table* ]
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spite-and-waffles · 1 day ago
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Bruce Wayne, seeing Dick Grayson: I must help this small child.
Bruce Wayne, seeing Jason Todd: I must help this small child.
Tim Drake, seeing Bruce Wayne: I must help this grown-ass man.
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spite-and-waffles · 2 days ago
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Joy is the Batfam fandom now??? Since when?? Is she writing fic???
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(alt included)
Link to Video. (Please help Panda make money.)
Video description and transcript under the cut.
Description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. Re-enactment of final scene of Under the Hood. All roles played by Panda. Setting is a dark basement lit only by a hanging light bulb.
Transcript.
Jason: *holding gun on Bruce* "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."
Batman: *glares silently*
Jason: "But why? Why on God's Earth—" *hits Joker across the face*
Joker (tied to a chair): *cackles*
Jason: "—is HE still alive??"
Joker: "AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"
Batman:
Batman: "I'm sorry, d'you want me to be serious here or—?"
Jason: *in disbelief* "YES, Bruce! I want you to be serious right now! If he had done what he did to me to you, I would've done nothing but search the earth for this pile of death-worshiping garbage!"
Joker: "I love you too, Sugar Plum."
Batman: *holds hands up* "Okay, yeah, I get that, totally, I get that. Um. Have you tried?"
Jason: "Excuse you?"
Batman: "Have you tried to kill him yet?"
Jason: *to Joker* "Is he being serious?"
Joker: *also confused* "I'm gonna be honest with you, Junior. I don't know."
Jason: "Got it. Great." *turns back to Batman* "What the fuck does THAT mean?"
Batman: "Okay, so no, you haven't. Cool. Do it."
Jason:
Jason: *lowers gun* "What."
Batman: "Do it, cap his ass. Shoot him."
Joker: "I'm gonna go with Junior here, and say: what?"
Jason: "You want me to shoot him?"
Batman: "I want someone to shoot him! Give me the gun, I'll do it!"
Jason: *mutters, brain blue screening* "What is going on right now? This should a lot harder than it is."
Batman: "C'mon, son! You decapitated like eleven people three days ago! Fuckin' do it!"
Joker: *turns to Jason quizzically* "This has gotta be some sort of test, ri—" *Jason fires. Joker lands on the floor lifeless, eyes still open.*
Jason: "There, you happy? Jesus. Was that so hard? All of this time and it was THAT easy!"
Batman: "I don't know what you're talking about "easy". There's nothing there." *nods at floor*
Jason: "What the fuck is that supposed to—" *looks down at floor where the Joker was lying*
Floor: *is devoid of Joker*
Jason: *stares*
Floor: *continues to be sans anything but carpet*
Jason: "What the fuck?"
Batman: "Yeah."
Jason: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Batman: "Take as long as you need with this."
Jason: *looking around frantically* "I just shot him! He hit the floor! What the f—"
Floor: *is just vibin'*
Jason: "Where the fuck did he go??"
Batman: "See that shit? That shit right there happens every fucking time!"
Jason: "There's not even a blood stain! It's just gone!"
Batman: "Yeah, like two days after you died, I chased him into a helicopter where he got shot like six times. The helicopter exploded and crashed into the ocean. And his body was gone before Superman could find it."
Jason: "Oh my God. I don't understand how this is even fucking possible!"
Batman: "He's like a cryptid! I don't fucking get it!"
Joker: *disembodied laughter*
Jason: *freaked out, turning in circles trying to find him* "Oh my God!"
Batman: "THAT OMINOUS SHIT HAPPENS TOO! I DON'T KNOW, DUDE!"
Jason: "Dude. Fuck whatever's going on here, that's some fucking bullshit."
Batman: "Thank you! Finally someone gets it!"
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spite-and-waffles · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
(alt included)
Link to Video. (Please help Panda make money.)
Video description and transcript under the cut.
Description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. Re-enactment of final scene of Under the Hood. All roles played by Panda (a tall, well-built young white man with a mohawk, wearing a grey hoodie). Setting is a dark basement lit only by a hanging light bulb.
Transcript.
Jason: (holding gun on Bruce) "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."
Batman: (glares silently)
Jason: "But why? Why on God's Earth—" (hits Joker across the face)
Joker (tied to a chair): *cackles*
Jason: "—is HE still alive??"
Joker: "AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"
Batman:
Batman: "I'm sorry, d'you want me to be serious here or—?"
Jason: (in disbelief) "YES, Bruce! I want you to be serious right now! If he had done what he did to me to you, I would've done nothing but search the earth for this pile of death-worshiping garbage!"
Joker: "I love you too, Sugar Plum."
Batman: (holds hands up) "Okay, yeah, I get that, totally, I get that. Um. Have you tried?"
Jason: "Excuse you?"
Batman: "Have you tried to kill him yet?"
Jason: (to Joker) "Is he being serious?"
Joker: (also confused) "I'm gonna be honest with you, Junior. I don't know."
Jason: "Got it. Great." (turns back to Batman) "What the fuck does THAT mean?"
Batman: "Okay, so no, you haven't. Cool. Do it."
Jason:
Jason: (lowers gun) "What."
Batman: "Do it, cap his ass. Shoot him."
Joker: "I'm gonna go with Junior here, and say...what?"
Jason: "You want me to shoot him?"
Batman: "I want someone to shoot him! Give me the gun, I'll do it!"
Jason: (mutters, brain blue screening) "What is going on right now? This should a lot harder than it is."
Batman: "C'mon, son! You decapitated like eleven people three days ago! Fuckin' do it!"
Jason: "There, you happy? Jesus. Was that so hard? All of this time and it was THAT easy!"
Joker: (turns to Jason quizzically) "This has gotta be some sort of test, ri—"
(BANG! Jason fires. Joker lands on the floor lifeless, eyes still open.)
Batman: "I don't know what you're talking about "easy". There's nothing there." (nods at floor)
Jason: "What the fuck is that supposed to—" (looks down at floor where the Joker was lying)
Floor: (is devoid of Joker)
Jason: (stares)
Floor: (continues to be sans anything but carpet)
Jason: "What the fuck?"
Batman: "Yeah."
Jason: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Batman: "Take as long as you need with this."
Jason: (looking around frantically) "I just shot him! He hit the floor! What the f—"
Floor: (is just vibin')
Jason: "Where the fuck did he go??"
Batman: "See that shit? That shit right there happens every fucking time!"
Jason: "There's not even a blood stain! It's just gone!"
Batman: "Yeah, like two days after you died, I chased him into a helicopter where he got shot like six times. The helicopter exploded and crashed into the ocean. And his body was gone before Superman could find it."
Jason: "Oh my God. I don't understand how this is even fucking possible!"
Batman: "He's like a cryptid! I don't fucking get it!"
Joker: (disembodied laughter) "AHAHAHAHA HAHAHA!"
Jason: (freaked out, turning in circles trying to find him) "Oh my God!"
Batman: "THAT OMINOUS SHIT HAPPENS TOO! I DON'T KNOW, DUDE!"
Jason: "Dude. Fuck whatever's going on here, that's some fucking bullshit."
Batman: "Thank you! Finally someone gets it!"
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spite-and-waffles · 2 months ago
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some m/f ships are like. that woman is a lesbian. however that man is a woman so it all works out
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spite-and-waffles · 2 months ago
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Actually I think the worst thing about "sweet, sunshine" fanon Dick is that he isn't allowed to be a BITCH and it makes him so much less funny
Look at this panel. Fanon Dick could never
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spite-and-waffles · 3 months ago
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Bart: So your half Superman-half Lex Luther right?
Kon, grumbling: yes.
Bart: Does that mean you’re genetically predisposed to loosing your hair?
Kon:
Bart:
*4 hours Later*
Kon: What do you mean you don’t know how he lost his hair?
Tim: I mean I’ve been through 20 years of articles and none of them mention it. There’s like a five year gap between the last picture of him with hair and his first appearance bald.
Kon: Tim, you’re one of the world’s greatest detectives, I need you to find out how he lost his hair.
Tim: Why does it-
Kon: I can’t be bald, Tim!
Tim:
Tim: You could call and ask-
Kon: I’d rather go bald, thanks.
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spite-and-waffles · 3 months ago
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Jason about to stab a demon with the All Blades: (Pauses) Would this be considered breaking B's no kill rule?
Tim trying to keep the demons mind controlled victims from killing him: If B has an issue with that I'm posting his post-Jason-death hospitalization rates on the fucking internet.
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spite-and-waffles · 3 months ago
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Selina, Damian and Jason are all of the same mind on this, IMO.
damian would love selina and dc can't tell me otherwise. "she's a criminal and damian has a back and white moral" most of selina so-called crimes actually aren't about stealing jewelry but ANIMALS under abuse. bruce would come back as batman and damian be like "hell nah I'm going with selina and fighting big techs that experiment on animals bye!"
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spite-and-waffles · 3 months ago
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peak bruce wayne and stephanie brown content is divorced dad who doesn’t really talk much and ninth grader who treats him like a kid she’s babysitting
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spite-and-waffles · 3 months ago
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Headcanon: Bruce is a HUGE supporter of the phrase “Do as I say, not as I do.”
He used it a lot on Dick, which led to a lot of arguments–
“I can do that too!”
“What? No, Dick, you’re eight, you can’t.”
“But you do it!”
“Do as I say, not as I do.”
And also used it on Jason (or rather, used it before Jason could argue)–
“Look, Pops, you did–”
“For the love of–not again–Jay, do as I say, not as I do, okay?”
He didn’t use it much with Tim, the only exceptions being when he asserted his seniority.
“No, Tim, you can’t.”
“I’m preeetttyyy sure I can, actually. Besides, you do it, so–”
“NO.”
“Huh?”
“Just…just do as I say, not as I do, got it?”
It…didn’t really work with Cassandra…
“I know you think you know, but listen, you need to do as I say, not as I do–aaaaand she’s gone.”
Damian hates the phrase with a PASSION.
“I’ll do it.”
“No, you won’t, you’re not allowed. Permission denied.”
“But you did it!”
“Do as I say, not as I do, let’s go.”
Dick commiserates until one time Damian is fighting him on something and he just snaps, “Do as I SAY, not as I DO, damnit!”
Dick stops suddenly as the words leave his mouth. He is HORRIFIED.
“Oh my god,” he moans, covering his face. “I’m becoming Bruce. I’M BECOMING BRUCE.”
“What’s wrong with–”
“I OPENED MY MOUTH AND BRUCE CAME OUT”
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spite-and-waffles · 3 months ago
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dick grayson is at once an only child (of his parents and bruce), an eldest child (of the batkids), and the youngest child (him and bruce)
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spite-and-waffles · 3 months ago
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that’s the entire joy of dick graysons character. someone so beloved and respected who represents a heroic ideal and hope against despair while also being a petty neurotic bitch that never drops a grudge ❤️
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spite-and-waffles · 3 months ago
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"bluh superman is boring bc he has basically no physical weaknesses he's completely unrelatable" YOU FOOLS YOU BASTARDS YOU IDIOTS his weaknesses is that he was raised to THINK and ACT and FEEL completely human!!!! The whole POINT is to explore what happens when you take a guy who mentally is a caring and kind and decent and conflicted and messy human person and contrast that with him having the all powerful abilities of a god it's about the CONFLICT it's about the TENSION it's about the DOUBLE LIFE it's about wondering if you can theoretically spend 24/7 saving people because you don't have to eat or sleep or breathe can you actually justify having a job or going to bed or falling in love or living a life!!! It's about being well known as being powerful so your public persona can never once slip never be angry never trip up or else you become a symbol of fear rather than hope!!! It's about having to also keep yourself in check every day and having to keep yourself of two minds and having to explain over and over and over again that you're not interested in dominance you're not interested in power you're interested in justice and mercy and help. It's about no matter what you are always subduing some aspect of yourself either your mind or your body depending on which role you have to play!!! And all of that is JUST on the introspective level!!! Superman is one of the most fascinating characters ever if you think he's boring imo it's bc you're being boring about it
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spite-and-waffles · 4 months ago
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Bruce: Has anyone seen Jason and Damian?
Tim: That went out
Bruce: For what?
Dick: Something about Jason breaking a whetstone- don't ask- and Damian demanding he replace that
Bruce: We already have a whetstone for the batarang
Tim: Yeah, but Damian said and I quote "My katana was forged by greatest bladesmiths the League of Assassins has to offer, that cheap rock will not go anywhere near it"
Bruce: ...That does sound like Damian
Dick: Yep. So now we're just waiting on them
[5 minutes later]
Tim: [looks at his phone and starts laughing]
Tim: You guys are not gonna believe this
Dick: What?
[Shows a trending video of Jason walking across a parking lot with a bag in one hand and a screaming Damian under his arm, before noticing the camera and saying, "don't worry, he's mine I'm not stealing him." *pause* "if I was gonna take one, it definitely wouldn't be this asshole"]
Bruce: [tired sigh] Sadly, I can believe it...
Dick: Well, at least he got the whetstone
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spite-and-waffles · 4 months ago
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real
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spite-and-waffles · 4 months ago
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Superman Comic Rec List!
I've seen a couple people curious about Superman comics after watching MAWS. So now that S2 is over, I thought I'd put together a rec list of Superman comics I've really enjoyed that I think are a good way to get into Superman comics. Enjoy!
1) Superman: Birthright
Why: A wonderful and touching origin story comic for Superman and a great introduction to his character, world, and supporting cast, from Krypton to Smallville to Metropolis. It has gorgeous art and a really good grasp on Clark's character and that of his supporting cast. Primary Themes: immigration, xenophobia, homesickness, hope Trigger Warnings: see above
2) Superman Smashes the Klan
Why: Based on the 1940s Superman radio show's "Clan of the Fiery Cross" storyline, Superman battles the Klan. Explores Clark's background as an immigrant. The story itself follows along with Roberta Lee, a young Chinese American girl whose family is being targeted by the Klan. Primary Themes: racism, identity issues, internalized racism, police brutality. Trigger Warnings: see above
3) Action Comics #792
Why: If I was asked to choose just one comic as my favorite Superman comic ever, it would be this one. A self-contained story that highlights Clark's investigative reporter skills and connections to people, as well as Superman's determination to save everyone, no matter their importance. Primary Themes: the importance of life, hope, connection
4) Superman: For All Seasons
Why: 4 issue exploration of Superman, told by various people in his life - Pa, Lois, Luthor, Lana Lang - for each season, at a pivotal point in his life. Primary Themes: family, hope, community, connection
5) Superman Red and Blue
Why: Anthology of Superman short stories, on a wide variety of themes and times in Clark's life. There's some that I like more than others in this anthology, but there's not a single bad story in there, and they're all very enjoyable. Primary Themes: hope, what it means to be a hero Trigger Warnings: see above
6) Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow
Why: Want more Kara? This is a wonderful comic for that! A great exploration of Kara and her rage and grief over the destruction of Krypton. Kara teams up with a girl on a mission to avenge her father's murder, taking them on a universe-spanning adventure in space on the trail of a space mercenary. The art is STUNNING and it is an amazing summation of Kara's character. Highly recommend it. Primary Themes: grief, justice, revenge, loss, kindness, survivor's guilt Trigger Warnings: see above
7) Superman: The Wedding Album
Why: Clois's comic wedding! Lois is really wonderful in this comic. This includes a lot of references to events that happened in the comics at this time so it might be beneficial to read some of them/skim the wiki pages for them before reading this for clarity. Primary Themes: love, joy, communication
8) Reign of the Supermen + Return of Superman
Why: Great encapsulation of who Clark is as a character and what makes Superman Superman. Takes place during Clark's comics death. Also, this is the first time that John Henry Irons (Steel) and Kon-el (Superboy) appear in comics! I also recommend this especially for MAWS because MAWS has already established/hinted at A LOT of story elements of this comic - I highly suspect that MAWS is going to do a version of this storyline in S3 or S4. Primary Themes: what it means to be a hero, legacy, identity Trigger Warnings: exploitation, grooming (Kon does NOT have a good time in this comic)
9) Steel (1994)
Why: Are you in any way curious about John Henry Iron's appearance in MAWS? Then this is the comic for you! His 1994 comic solo establishes who he is as a person and a hero, and his supporting cast. This comic run is great and I cannot recommend it enough. Primary Themes: responsibility, kindness Trigger Warnings: police brutality, American imperialism, drug use
10) Trial of Superman Arc
Why: Great exploration of Clark and the impact he has on the world and people around him. It's great fun, Clark gets kidnapped by aliens blaming him for Krypton's destruction because of his distant ancestors and escapes. You can find the reading order for this arc here. Primary Themes: Justice, redemption, fairness Trigger Warnings: police brutality, incarceration
And if you're interested in more, I highly recommend reading 90s Superman comics! Personally, I've been reading through from Reign of the Supermen/Return of Superman onwards, and there have been some rough patches, but it's also been very fun and I have found some amazing stories that way!
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