spite-and-waffles
spite-and-waffles
Stephanie Brown Forever
2K posts
dcu sideblog. pre-52 only. south asian 🇱🇰 she/her. bruce wayne hate zone. shipping police and zionists dni. every batkid is my precious baby.
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 4 days ago
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here are a few things that could help if you’re looking to get into comics because it’s very confusing at first (and every moment after)
the dcu guide lists characters’ appearances in chronological order
comicvine lists every appearance of a character
comicstorian is a youtube channel that summarizes comic arcs/character origins in short, easy to understand videos
lornahs has a lot of good character reading lists, dc & marvel
comic book reading orders has reading orders for almost all events & characters, dc & marvel
r/DCcomics’ wiki has a large recommended reading page & a newbies section for people looking to start reading for the first time
comic book herald has a list of reading guides as well as a where to start with current dc & a beginner’s guide to comics
the dc database has a recommended reading section
comics back issues has a list of reading orders as well as their guide to comics for new readers
and if you’re looking to get into lanterns, be sure to give my own, comparatively puny rec page a look!
good luck!
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 18 days ago
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‘batcest’ is actually the least problematic and most moral way to ship. because it would be inhumane to force anyone else to put up with these people
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 2 months ago
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The Captain Marvel and Superman of the 1970s.
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 2 months ago
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For the last time folks.
In the comics, Clark was never 'standoffish' to Kon because he was 'alienated by having his DNA cloned while he was dead an unable to consent.' He was wary of Cadmus, because his relationship to Cadmus had been strained even before his death, but he never directed that hesitation or strain towards Kon. In fact, very shortly after Clark and Kon met they found out Kon was not even genetically related to him! The Lex/Clark clone origins in of itself was a retcon made over ten years after Kon was made.
Clark NEVER 'rejected' Kon, in fact he trusted him to wear the S-Shield and he is one of the most important people to him where he has had nightmare scenarios where he experiences Kon's death. He trusts him with some of his most challenging missions, and trusts him with his parents. Additionally, he defends Kon - famously against Bruce who called him a robot and someone they could not trust.
Clark did not knowingly name Kon "abomination" as a form of rejection and petty meanness. Kon El meaning abomination was specifically a New 52 incarnation which Kara used, originally when Clark named Kon it had no connection to the meaning 'abomination' and Kon was so happy he cried.
Trust me, there are plenty of ways to write and explore potential drama between Clark and Kon that are not totally made up and makes it sound like Lex Luthor is running a smear campaign against Superman with lies meant to make him look like garbage.
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 2 months ago
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 3 months ago
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Crossover fic writers are always on some Galaxy brain shit because I have been in both fandoms but would never have even thought of this pairing.
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Link to Video. (Please help Panda make money.)
Video description and transcript under the cut.
Description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. Re-enactment of final scene of Under the Hood. All roles played by Panda (a tall, well-built young white man with a mohawk, wearing a grey hoodie). Setting is a dark basement lit only by a hanging light bulb.
Transcript.
Jason: (holding gun on Bruce) "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."
Batman: (glares silently)
Jason: "But why? Why on God's Earth—" (hits Joker across the face)
Joker (tied to a chair): *cackles*
Jason: "—is HE still alive??"
Joker: "AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"
Batman:
Batman: "I'm sorry, d'you want me to be serious here or—?"
Jason: (in disbelief) "YES, Bruce! I want you to be serious right now! If he had done what he did to me to you, I would've done nothing but search the earth for this pile of death-worshiping garbage!"
Joker: "I love you too, Sugar Plum."
Batman: (holds hands up) "Okay, yeah, I get that, totally, I get that. Um. Have you tried?"
Jason: "Excuse you?"
Batman: "Have you tried to kill him yet?"
Jason: (to Joker) "Is he being serious?"
Joker: (also confused) "I'm gonna be honest with you, Junior. I don't know."
Jason: "Got it. Great." (turns back to Batman) "What the fuck does THAT mean?"
Batman: "Okay, so no, you haven't. Cool. Do it."
Jason:
Jason: (lowers gun) "What."
Batman: "Do it, cap his ass. Shoot him."
Joker: "I'm gonna go with Junior here, and say...what?"
Jason: "You want me to shoot him?"
Batman: "I want someone to shoot him! Give me the gun, I'll do it!"
Jason: (mutters, brain blue screening) "What is going on right now? This should a lot harder than it is."
Batman: "C'mon, son! You decapitated like eleven people three days ago! Fuckin' do it!"
Jason: "There, you happy? Jesus. Was that so hard? All of this time and it was THAT easy!"
Joker: (turns to Jason quizzically) "This has gotta be some sort of test, ri—"
(BANG! Jason fires. Joker lands on the floor lifeless, eyes still open.)
Batman: "I don't know what you're talking about "easy". There's nothing there." (nods at floor)
Jason: "What the fuck is that supposed to—" (looks down at floor where the Joker was lying)
Floor: (is devoid of Joker)
Jason: (stares)
Floor: (continues to be sans anything but carpet)
Jason: "What the fuck?"
Batman: "Yeah."
Jason: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Batman: "Take as long as you need with this."
Jason: (looking around frantically) "I just shot him! He hit the floor! What the f—"
Floor: (is just vibin')
Jason: "Where the fuck did he go??"
Batman: "See that shit? That shit right there happens every fucking time!"
Jason: "There's not even a blood stain! It's just gone!"
Batman: "Yeah, like two days after you died, I chased him into a helicopter where he got shot like six times. The helicopter exploded and crashed into the ocean. And his body was gone before Superman could find it."
Jason: "Oh my God. I don't understand how this is even fucking possible!"
Batman: "He's like a cryptid! I don't fucking get it!"
Joker: (disembodied laughter) "AHAHAHAHA HAHAHA!"
Jason: (freaked out, turning in circles trying to find him) "Oh my God!"
Batman: "THAT OMINOUS SHIT HAPPENS TOO! I DON'T KNOW, DUDE!"
Jason: "Dude. Fuck whatever's going on here, that's some fucking bullshit."
Batman: "Thank you! Finally someone gets it!"
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 3 months ago
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My ideal beginning to a Batman movie:
We start with a slow pan down to Gotham as Oracle narrates
“Ask your average person who Gotham’s most famous citizen is, and you’ll get the same response every time: Bruce Wayne. Everybody’s heard of Bruce Wayne. You’ve probably heard his name a million times before. But there are some things that the average citizen doesn’t know about him. See, to the people of Gotham, Bruce Wayne is a rich kid who never grew up. They think he’s a buffoon, an airhead, a moron. But the truth is…”
*Batman bursts out of a window, screaming, on fire*
*record scratch, freeze frame*
“…they aren’t entirely wrong about that.”
#omg op peer-reviewed tags! thank you!!#babs is the most disrespected character in the batfam and i say that as a steph fan#she's only in the batfam because she's the one who tries to save the girl children from bruce#and sometimes dick. who's an eldest daughter so he kinda also qualifies#i love that throughout cass's book babs is like two hairs away from braining bruce with a chair#'WHAT DO YOU MEAN CASS DOESN'T NEED SCHOOL ONLY JUSTICE?? SHE'S BEEN FUCKING ABUSED HER WHOLE LIFE BRUCE!!'#like babs had her own weirdo moments with cass and let her down with a dull thud at times as well#(we do not speak of OYL)#but she was way more of a parent to her than bruce. fandom at the time was mad when bruce adopted her instead of barbara#tumblr fandom otoh is like 'barbara who?'#she's also the only one who tried with steph. altho she was also too busy and impatient to do a lot#like don't get me wrong babs is a MASSIVE BITCH sometimes and I fucking LOVE her for it#she's like bruce would have been if bruce hadn't had his butler for a parent and had 85% more therapy#an interpersonal mess who forgets she's not a supercomputer but still tries to be a fucking human being#so she's like an alternate universe bruce that's like 'what the fuck is WRONG with you??' x 70 at bruce#people making her a batkid makes me throw up in my mouth a little and why i will never give a shit about the new DCU#she ditched bruce's entire schtick when he laughed with the joker after he put a bullet in her spine#and then sent her a kung-fu master instead of a fucking apology#if i had to put money on a single character that might actually snap and kill bruce and hide the body it'd be barbara#and she'd do it because she loves him despite everything#man she and bruce are so fucked up in their own ways and i live for it#radically different flavours of the same 100% bitch#barbara motherfuckin' gordon everyone#sorry for the second tags essay. i like to hide in sotto voce#barbara gordon#oracle#bat meta#bruce and babs#spite waffle
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 3 months ago
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My ideal beginning to a Batman movie:
We start with a slow pan down to Gotham as Oracle narrates
“Ask your average person who Gotham’s most famous citizen is, and you’ll get the same response every time: Bruce Wayne. Everybody’s heard of Bruce Wayne. You’ve probably heard his name a million times before. But there are some things that the average citizen doesn’t know about him. See, to the people of Gotham, Bruce Wayne is a rich kid who never grew up. They think he’s a buffoon, an airhead, a moron. But the truth is…”
*Batman bursts out of a window, screaming, on fire*
*record scratch, freeze frame*
“…they aren’t entirely wrong about that.”
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 3 months ago
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Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer
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wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?
Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)
<- Prev Masterlist Next ->
Bonus:
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Happy birthday, Tim 🥰
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 3 months ago
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN SPECIAL: PART 1
Visit his page and give the video a view.
Halloween Special: Part 2
Halloween Special: Behind the Scenes
This is almost word for word the scene from the UtrH comic, but better than I could have imagined! The play of light and shadow, the detailing of the costumes, the settings, the quality of the voices, the perfect blocking, intonation, just... everything. I tried to get as much of it in the video description as possible.
Video description below the cut.
[Video description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. All roles are played by the creator, a tall, well-built young white man.
Night time. A car sits neatly in a parking slot in front of a brightly lit, slatted wall, tail lights a glowing red slash against the black chrome of its body. Red hued white text reading "HAPPY HALLOWEEN (Headphones recommended)" appears across the frame and disappears.
The headlights dim and the door opens. Heavy combat boots hit the aspalt on the driver's side. A black gloved hand takes out a smartphone, the screen flashing flame-red for an instant before pulling up an avatar of a black skull, and hits the call button.
CUT TO: a white-walled room. A bespectacled man in a suit enters.
Bespectacled man in suit (Black Mask's Assistant): *closing the door behind him* "Um. M-Mr. Mask...sir?"
Black Mask stands with his back to him, hands in pockets. The broad back of his iconic off-white suit complements the stark white walls and black accents of the room. When he speaks, his voice is both gutteral growl and hissing menace.
BM: "You better have a good-ass reason for bein' here."
Assistant: "Y-you know that guy who has been...stealing our shipments and killing our men?"
BM: *slight head turn, sarcastic drawl* "Yeah?"
Assistant:"Um..." *holds up phone in disbelief* "He's on the phone." *BM stills* "He wants...to talk to you."
BM holds out black gloved hand without turning around. Assistant hurries forward.
Cut to Black Mask's eponymous skull face as he raises the phone to his ear, dark eyes standing out against the rims of his charcoal eye sockets.
Tinny voice from the phone: "Hello."
BM: "Talk."
Cut back to car. Red Hood leans forward against the open driver's door, the back of his bulky black jacket and red helmet outlined in deep shadow against the brightly lit wall. His voice issuing from the helmet has the mechanical but clear sound quality of an internal mic.
RH: "So, what do you prefer I call you? Black Mask? Mr. Mask?"  *casually pushes door shut with a clap* "Rromi?"
BM: "Don't call me nothin'. Just talk. I'm listening. But just know when I say I'm listening, I'm actually thinking about killing your ass."
RH saunters around the car, the beautifully sleek contours of his helmet gleaming a polished red, its eyes glowing opaque.
RH: "Oh. Well that's not a great way to start our relationship now is it?"
BM: "Yeah, well, I have anger management issues. I abate those urges by murdering anybody who tends to annoy me."
RH: *sardonic* "Dark."
BM: "I take it you fried my shipment?"
RH: "Some of it. Some of it walked away."
BM: "I heard. I take it that you took something then?"
RH: "I did." *casually leans against the car* "Now, I don't mean to toot my own horn here, but um" *clicks tongue* "-it might just be the top shelf item."
BM: *groans, pinching the bridge of his nose between gloved fingers* "Goddamn son of a bitch!" *takes deep breath and straightens* "Alright, Red Rocket, which crate did you grab?"
RH stops at the trunk of the car. Behind him, a row of cars are parked in a neat half crescent, and the ambient noise of low traffic rises.
RH: "Well, sorry to tell you, but I don't exactly have a tracking number." *opens trunk with a snick* "You might recognize it though."
Cut to PoV from inside the trunk as the lid opens. A greenish light emanates from within, deepening the shadows of RH's helmet, the glow of its eyes somehow intensifying in menace.
RH: "It's the one containing over a hundred pounds of pure kryptonite."
BM's eyes go almost cartoonishly round, whites stark against the coal of his face.
BM: "Yeah I'm gonna need that." *turns and paces* "I suppose there's no way to just... persuade you to give it back is there?"
RH: *still leaning over the trunk, shirt almost luminescent in the green glow* "Your definition of persuasion being what, exactly?"
BM: "Well. One, I won't kill you. Number two - I won't. Fucking. Kill. You. Number three, and this is the most important one so listen up-" *Assistant and BM both sit down at the table* "You can have a job. Come and work for me."
RH's phone and eyes of his helmet are lit bright bluish-white in the darkness, green glimmers playing over red sheens.
RH: "Okay. One problem. I don't wanna work for you."
BM: "Okay then what do you want?"
RH: "I want. A..tremendous amount of money"
BM: "How much we talkin-"
RH: "Fifty million dollars."
BM: "Christ kid- fifty?? What d'you tryin' to budget a movie??"
Assistant: *leans in, hissing furiously* "Fifty?? Liquid?? What, is he insane??"
BM: *covers phone and leans towards him* "No, the insane ones make a suit out of the rock and then march it into Metropolis to play the king of the fuckin' mountain. This one knows what he's doing."
Assistant: *sputters in disbelief and leaves chair, agitated*
BM: *returning to call* "Fine. Listen, kid. That kinda traffic sends up way too many red flags. I can do four million cash today, and then transfer ten million. Take it or leave it."
RH: "Well." *holds up an object out of frame that washes his whole profile in a sinister blaze of red* "I'm sure I can find a buyer to match my price."
BM: "Yeah. And I'm sure I can find hippos that could paint houses. But I ain't never seen one. Have you?"
RH: "Deal." *throws item back in trunk and shuts the lid* "I'll call you in an hour with the location. And Sionis? I suggest you don't keep me waiting." *ends call*
BM: *looks at phone in disgust* "That little bastard hung up on me." *tosses phone onto table* ]
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 3 months ago
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Bruce Wayne, seeing Dick Grayson: I must help this small child.
Bruce Wayne, seeing Jason Todd: I must help this small child.
Tim Drake, seeing Bruce Wayne: I must help this grown-ass man.
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 4 months ago
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Joy is the Batfam fandom now??? Since when?? Is she writing fic???
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(alt included)
Link to Video. (Please help Panda make money.)
Video description and transcript under the cut.
Description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. Re-enactment of final scene of Under the Hood. All roles played by Panda. Setting is a dark basement lit only by a hanging light bulb.
Transcript.
Jason: *holding gun on Bruce* "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."
Batman: *glares silently*
Jason: "But why? Why on God's Earth—" *hits Joker across the face*
Joker (tied to a chair): *cackles*
Jason: "—is HE still alive??"
Joker: "AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"
Batman:
Batman: "I'm sorry, d'you want me to be serious here or—?"
Jason: *in disbelief* "YES, Bruce! I want you to be serious right now! If he had done what he did to me to you, I would've done nothing but search the earth for this pile of death-worshiping garbage!"
Joker: "I love you too, Sugar Plum."
Batman: *holds hands up* "Okay, yeah, I get that, totally, I get that. Um. Have you tried?"
Jason: "Excuse you?"
Batman: "Have you tried to kill him yet?"
Jason: *to Joker* "Is he being serious?"
Joker: *also confused* "I'm gonna be honest with you, Junior. I don't know."
Jason: "Got it. Great." *turns back to Batman* "What the fuck does THAT mean?"
Batman: "Okay, so no, you haven't. Cool. Do it."
Jason:
Jason: *lowers gun* "What."
Batman: "Do it, cap his ass. Shoot him."
Joker: "I'm gonna go with Junior here, and say: what?"
Jason: "You want me to shoot him?"
Batman: "I want someone to shoot him! Give me the gun, I'll do it!"
Jason: *mutters, brain blue screening* "What is going on right now? This should a lot harder than it is."
Batman: "C'mon, son! You decapitated like eleven people three days ago! Fuckin' do it!"
Joker: *turns to Jason quizzically* "This has gotta be some sort of test, ri—" *Jason fires. Joker lands on the floor lifeless, eyes still open.*
Jason: "There, you happy? Jesus. Was that so hard? All of this time and it was THAT easy!"
Batman: "I don't know what you're talking about "easy". There's nothing there." *nods at floor*
Jason: "What the fuck is that supposed to—" *looks down at floor where the Joker was lying*
Floor: *is devoid of Joker*
Jason: *stares*
Floor: *continues to be sans anything but carpet*
Jason: "What the fuck?"
Batman: "Yeah."
Jason: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Batman: "Take as long as you need with this."
Jason: *looking around frantically* "I just shot him! He hit the floor! What the f—"
Floor: *is just vibin'*
Jason: "Where the fuck did he go??"
Batman: "See that shit? That shit right there happens every fucking time!"
Jason: "There's not even a blood stain! It's just gone!"
Batman: "Yeah, like two days after you died, I chased him into a helicopter where he got shot like six times. The helicopter exploded and crashed into the ocean. And his body was gone before Superman could find it."
Jason: "Oh my God. I don't understand how this is even fucking possible!"
Batman: "He's like a cryptid! I don't fucking get it!"
Joker: *disembodied laughter*
Jason: *freaked out, turning in circles trying to find him* "Oh my God!"
Batman: "THAT OMINOUS SHIT HAPPENS TOO! I DON'T KNOW, DUDE!"
Jason: "Dude. Fuck whatever's going on here, that's some fucking bullshit."
Batman: "Thank you! Finally someone gets it!"
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 4 months ago
Text
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(alt included)
Link to Video. (Please help Panda make money.)
Video description and transcript under the cut.
Description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. Re-enactment of final scene of Under the Hood. All roles played by Panda (a tall, well-built young white man with a mohawk, wearing a grey hoodie). Setting is a dark basement lit only by a hanging light bulb.
Transcript.
Jason: (holding gun on Bruce) "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."
Batman: (glares silently)
Jason: "But why? Why on God's Earth—" (hits Joker across the face)
Joker (tied to a chair): *cackles*
Jason: "—is HE still alive??"
Joker: "AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"
Batman:
Batman: "I'm sorry, d'you want me to be serious here or—?"
Jason: (in disbelief) "YES, Bruce! I want you to be serious right now! If he had done what he did to me to you, I would've done nothing but search the earth for this pile of death-worshipping garbage!"
Joker: "I love you too, Sugar Plum."
Batman: (holds hands up) "Okay, yeah, I get that, totally, I get that. Um. Have you tried?"
Jason: "Excuse you?"
Batman: "Have you tried to kill him yet?"
Jason: (to Joker) "Is he being serious?"
Joker: (also confused) "I'm gonna be honest with you, Junior. I don't know."
Jason: "Got it. Great." (turns back to Batman) "What the fuck does THAT mean?"
Batman: "Okay, so no, you haven't. Cool. Do it."
Jason:
Jason: (lowers gun) "What."
Batman: "Do it, cap his ass. Shoot him."
Joker: (finally rattled) "I'm gonna go with Junior here, and say...what??"
Jason: "You want me to shoot him?"
Batman: "I want someone to shoot him! Give me the gun, I'll do it!"
Jason: (mutters, brain blue screening) "What is going on right now? This should a lot harder than it is."
Batman: "C'mon, son! You decapitated like eleven people three days ago! Fuckin' do it!"
Joker: (turns to Jason quizzically) "This has gotta be some sort of test, ri—"
(BANG! Jason fires. Joker lands on the floor lifeless, eyes still open.)
Jason: "There, you happy? Jesus. Was that so hard? All of this time and it was THAT easy!"
Jason: "What the fuck is that supposed to—" (looks down at floor where the Joker was lying)
Batman: "I don't know what you're talking about 'easy'. There's nothing there." (nods at floor)
Floor: (is devoid of Joker)
Jason: (stares)
Floor: (continues to be sans anything but carpet)
Jason: "What the fuck?"
Batman: "Yeah."
Jason: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Batman: "Take as long as you need with this."
Jason: (looking around frantically) "I just shot him! He hit the floor! What the f—" (turns back to the floor)
Floor: (is just vibin')
Jason: "Where the fuck did he go??"
Batman: "See that shit? That shit right there happens every fucking time!"
Jason: "There's not even a blood stain! It's just gone!"
Batman: "Yeah, like two days after you died, I chased him into a helicopter where he got shot like six times. The helicopter exploded and crashed into the ocean. And his body was gone before Superman could find it."
Jason: "Oh my God. I don't understand how this is even fucking possible!"
Batman: "He's like a cryptid! I don't fucking get it!"
Joker: (disembodied laughter) "AHAHAHAHA HAHAHA!"
Jason: (freaked out, turning in circles trying to find him) "Oh my God!"
Batman: "THAT OMINOUS SHIT HAPPENS TOO! I DON'T KNOW, DUDE!"
Jason: "Dude. Fuck whatever's going on here, that's some fucking bullshit."
Batman: "Thank you! Finally someone gets it!"
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 6 months ago
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some m/f ships are like. that woman is a lesbian. however that man is a woman so it all works out
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 6 months ago
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Actually I think the worst thing about "sweet, sunshine" fanon Dick is that he isn't allowed to be a BITCH and it makes him so much less funny
Look at this panel. Fanon Dick could never
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 6 months ago
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Bart: So your half Superman-half Lex Luther right?
Kon, grumbling: yes.
Bart: Does that mean you’re genetically predisposed to loosing your hair?
Kon:
Bart:
*4 hours Later*
Kon: What do you mean you don’t know how he lost his hair?
Tim: I mean I’ve been through 20 years of articles and none of them mention it. There’s like a five year gap between the last picture of him with hair and his first appearance bald.
Kon: Tim, you’re one of the world’s greatest detectives, I need you to find out how he lost his hair.
Tim: Why does it-
Kon: I can’t be bald, Tim!
Tim:
Tim: You could call and ask-
Kon: I’d rather go bald, thanks.
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spite-and-waffles ¡ 6 months ago
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Jason about to stab a demon with the All Blades: (Pauses) Would this be considered breaking B's no kill rule?
Tim trying to keep the demons mind controlled victims from killing him: If B has an issue with that I'm posting his post-Jason-death hospitalization rates on the fucking internet.
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