#i know these have been posted! i just wanted to try editing them

[queer-enderdragon]

tbh dont sweat it, im just passionate abt birds as a side effect of really really Really liking wings,

anyways—late welcome to tumblr! many call it a hellsite due. Several Things. some of them being the eternally broken state of the site that is Not as noticeable casually, but once you know, you know 🧍‍♂️ but if you want a place where you can be 10 times more nuts and genuine about your interests, a place that is 3 out of 5 times ignored and/or forgotten by the rest of the internet and it's influences, and Also a place to ramble to your heart's content with enough words to (LEGIT]) fit the entirety of Frankenstein in a single post, youre in the right place

Let's start with what i mentioned in tags (which is kind of a secondary way of talking, that unlike adding words To the post itself im like im doing rn, is akin to whispering to the Original Poster (op) or the previous reblogger) of the blog themes:

Blog themes are, first of, activated in your Blog settings, not in the account settings, and it comes with the archive, which is exactly that: the blog archive that can show you Every Single Post that exists in your blog, original or reblogged, including private posts that are only seen by you. And actually, because you can also search in your archive by tag, many have created for themselves tag systems, from basic ones (simple stuff, like are most art tags or someone tagging "cats" and "image" in posts that have images and perhaps a kitty cat) to pretty meticulous ones (think dewey's decimal system. yeah.) (even tho searching tags sometimes doesnt work too well still...)

Second of, once the blog theme is available at [your url].tumblr.com, you can either go search for themes on the site in specific tags (like #theme hunter, #blog themes, #tumblr themes, etc), go to another person's blog and see who did their theme to get that one or a different one from that same theme creator or just. directly make your own if you have some knowledge on html, css and a bit of javascript. If it was made by someone else, its usually pretty easy to edit, and you can do the same with your side pages, where some people put their blog info, about, tag lists or anything really (tho, once i saw someone turn a side page into a space-invaders inspired webgame.... with scores...?)

Also, if you want some privacy, in your main blog settings you can toggle a thing to hide your likes and following. Really, nobody here minds that sorta thing, we dont even know most ppl follower count unless they share it voluntarily. And if anyone Ever tries to moralize keeping likes and following visible, saying that ppl hiding them are suspicious, you can just block them and thats that. blocking here is pretty normal and it doesnt even Show if you blocked someone

tho, speaking of, you can only follow and like from your main blog, even if you can block from other blogs,

here on tumblr, you can have a... indefinite number of blogs? i dont Think i remember seeing anyone testing the limit for that Yet. but tbh, you can have just your main blog and put everything there, or have a few dozen of active blogs

for example, i have this side blog for mcyt and minecraft, my main is more for anything and all, i also have a few fandom specific blogs like a mlp one and undertale/deltarune one. and maybe there Is a post limit of 250 post per day that applies to your main And side blogs, is an account thing, but if you dont have the queue running with like. 5 of those to the maximum of post from the queue per day, you'll be fine (and. be careful deleting sideblogs, if easier to just go to the Members option of a side blog and leave it, than trying to delete it in that specific blog settings. there has been some issues with that second thing Also deleting your main blog, and if your main is gone, everything else too)

and before i jump to more general, site wide tips, all of this was as important to note, the queue (+ scheduling posts) is one of the strongest things about this place. because you can fill your queue up to 1k posts of anything you want, and make it so between certain hrs it posts a number of posts, so you dont have to spam ppl with, for example, art, even if you perfectly can. you can also pause the queue if you want to tag your reblogs for your own tag system, n then unpause, but really, this blog and any other in your account is Your house, your city, we all r just visiting. go nuts

...anyways, in terms of culture in this site, the two most important things are: reblogs and your dashboard

first, keep in mind that while this site is definitely Social, this is not a social media website, is a Blogging website. So reblogging is The most important thing here. you can reblog stuff once, twice, 100+ times every day for a month or longer and is Completely fine. if you dont want to see something, block the tag or the word and it'll be gone from your sight. but if you Do like it, and unless the poster says not to, you can reblog it

dont worry about reblogging Really old things btw. you can turn on timestamps for posts and you'll notice how sometimes people bring back posts from 2018, 2015 or even all way back to 2010 or 2008. it keeps the post circulating and the site alive

and actually, im not sure how much you know of this, but while there Is some kind of algorithm on tumblr with things based in your likes, if you have that option toggled on, the best way to experience tumblr and learn all the little things that comes with it is letting the people Be the algorithm, including yourself. that means instead of letting your likes define your dashboard, follow as many people as you want (the limit is 5k), turn on that reverse chronological dashboard, and interact with others too with reblogs. also, reblogging is really good in the sense that if the original post is deleted, your reblog will still be up unless you delete that post too

ive been in this site for almost 8 years, and ive found that you will find good and bad here the longer you stay, like with anything else, but you can also just... curate your experience more easily than in other places, and with how bad everything else is rn.... thats pretty nice :o

last thing, but you can Also ask any questions: play around with things. your settings, your blog theme, how you interact with the site. i know it feels obvious, but unless it says "delete [thing]?" or it makes something pop up a "are you sure? this will do [thing]" is fine. be silly, nothing will explode

what do u think of my grian design be honest <3

[11queensupreme11]

Yes, I am making a reaction fic....... eventually lol

i know it says i started this back in 2023, but all i really did was make a cover. i didn't start making any chapters until a few months ago hehe

BUT ANYWAYS YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT! i am making a reaction/reading the books/watching the movies fic for arsenic blues!!!! in this case, it will be ror reacting to pjo

for anyone interested to learn more, go under the cut!

(this started off as me just giving you some info about cerulean cyanide, but then i ended up ranting about how much i loved the pjo tv show lol, soooo if you haven't watched it, don't go down)

first off, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME MAKING A REACTION FIC! i've read a lot of them, but i have no experience in actually making one. i'm kinda nervous ngl 😅

secondly, i've already started... somewhat. i've copied all chapters of the lightning thief into a google doc and made necessary edits, but i haven't written any reactions... YET. i want to include the ror gods AND humans as members of the audience, and since i haven't written about the ror humans as thoroughly yet, i won't be writing the reactions until i get to act 2 of arsenic blues, since that's when the ror humans are introduced. this is important for me because i don't have their characterizations down yet, and won't until i actually start writing about them and their dynamics with percy. same goes with cú chulainn, he's a literal love interest, but won't get introduced until act 2!

thirdly, because of what i said up there ^ cerulean cyanide won't be published until act 2 is finished to avoid spoiling what happens during ragnarok and the god's apocalypse.

fourthly, IT WILL BE INTERMIXED WITH THE TV SHOW!!! i fucking LOVED the show and (most of) the changes that were made, so i'm totally going to add them into percy's past that the ror characters will be reacting to.

so what elements of the show should you expect to see? glad you asked!

POSEIDON 💙

poseidon in the books is great, but i loooooove the new stuff they put in the tv show. in the books, we're mostly told that poseidon loves percy and there are times where it's shown, but it's kinda hard to pick up since the books are written in PERCY'S POV, and since poseidon is literally restricted from interacting with him, it's hard to notice how much he actually loves his son when he's not even allowed to be AROUND the dude who's perspective takes up the whole series.

but in the tv show, it's not just percy's perspective that's explored! that little moment poseidon had with sally told us SOOOO MUCH about how he actually felt for the both of them. and when he and percy finally met??? THE ANGST AND LONGING THEY BOTH SHOWED UHDFSIGVSVGD I LOVED IT SO MUCH

AND THE FACT THAT HE NOT ONLY SAVED PERCY FROM ZEUS BUT ALSO SURRENDERED??? HE GAVE UP HIS PRIDE AND PRIDE IS SUCH A HUGE AND IMPORTANT THING FOR GODS BUT HE GAVE IT UP WITH NO HESITATION AHHHHHHH 😭

so yes, expect to see a lot of the poseidon scenes from the tv show

HERMES BEING AT THE LOTUS CASINO

i actually really like the fact that hermes was shown in here instead of the next season. some people were confused as to what the point was for having him in the casino and why he tricked the kids into staying at the casino longer, but i found this post on tumblr that explains why he could've been there:

in the last olympian, we (and percy) find out that hermes knew all along what luke's fate would be; that he would rebel against the olympians, bring forth kronos, become his host, etc. he knew ALL OF THAT. but he was never allowed to tell him (ancient laws), so he tried to CHANGE luke's fate in order to save him even though he knew it was pointless.

we get a bit of that in the tv show. hermes was there because he wanted to change luke's fate. he tricked the kids into staying at the casino longer so they would pass the deadline. war would come, and luke would get away with his thievery and nobody would know it was him because they're all too busy trying to kill each other. but ofc, like always, it didn't work because you can never change fate.

i love how the show showed us that hermes was trying to change his fate in the first season whereas in the books, it only started in the second book where he was introduced for the first time.

THE GODS' CRUELTY AND THEIR LOVE

the gods' cruelty and apathy was much more obvious in the show's first season compared to the first book. in the first book, most of the gods shown were jerks at best but the tv show really showed us how horrible of a family they are (most of them at least) to each other and their kids

like what show!ares said, his family loves to stab each other in the back, they love to hurt each other to get a higher leg up; they're not really a family. the audience and percy becomes VERY aware of that unlike in the books where it's more sugar-coated at the start.

we're shown very early on that they're not good people, but at the same time, we're shown that some of them DO care.

hephaestus was abused and mistreated by his family, but he refuses to be like them which is why he released percy from his trap; because he realizes that he and annabeth are good kids (ending the cycle). hermes loves his son and desperately wants to change his fate despite being told over and over again that its pointless. poseidon loves percy and wishes to be a proper family with him and sally, but isn't allowed to.

there are some good gods out there, which is why percy decided to stand by them instead of taking luke's offer to bring it all down. he's been shown that some gods ARE good. unlike in the first book where you don't really meet any decent gods, so book!percy honestly didn't have much of a reason to defend them, yet he did anyway when luke left camp. the show gave him (and us) a better reason to actually defend them

in the show, he's exposed to the god's cruelty, but he sees that it's not as black and white as he once thought "oh all the gods are bad and none of them care for their kids >:(", he sees the good in some of them and it's enough to make him want to save them instead of letting them crash and burn (like luke, who's blinded by his anger and hatred *cough cough* fatal flaw!!!! *cough cough*).

LUKE AND PERCY'S RELATIONSHIP

SHOW!LUKE WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN BOOK!LUKE IMO.

book!luke was trying to kill percy very early on and was pretty much pretending to be his friend the whole time. yes his intentions and character get fleshed out as the books go on, but his relationship with percy... didn't offer much.

then there's show!luke who genuinely liked him and wanted to recruit him rather than kill him (that's why there's no scorpion scene). his betrayal was more personal and painful for percy. the fact that annabeth was there to watch it all happen was even better (not for her though LOL).

(and dont even get me started on how show!luke didn't hate grover like in the books. the genuine fear in his eyes when he found out that percy gave the shoes to him and the way his eyes got all misty??? he fully blames thalia's "death" on him and him only THE ANGUISH WAS SO 😭😭😭)

AND I THINK THAT MIGHT BE ALL?

so yes, these are some of the changes you should expect to see!

i wanna really contrast how different things are between the ror and pjo verse. ror gods are very close and tight-knit whereas the pjo gods are... well, "a mess" as percy so eloquently put it.

ror gods aren't forced under the tyrannical rule of zeus, their zeus is chill and just wants to have fun. they have no restrictions to follow and their divine laws aren't as oppressive

whereas pjo gods are under the tyrant rule of zeus and can't even interact with their kids.

ror gods are independent while pjo gods have to rely on the preservation of western civilization to stay alive and use demigods to break rules, etc etc.

pjo gods (some, at least) are kinder and have no issues falling in love with humans and loving their demigod children while ror gods are cruel assholes who commit genocide against humanity despite being the ones to create them

and etc etc.

ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE AS HYPED UP AS I AM!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 can't wait to start writing reactions for the first time ever 🫨

[lachatalovematcha]

You are one of my biggest inspirations I never copied your blog I just got inspired I even left your name as inspiration in my biography I started making edits then some people started reposting my edits without credit writing exactly what I had written I told them to stop it because it was a very ugly thing to do to someoneone of them's response was "FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION, I pay to use Tumblr so I post what I want"I blocked them, the others still haven't responded to meI'm upset because copying and inspiration are very different things What I feel about your blog is a lot of admiration, I would never copy someone like that I really don't know how you can handle so many things like this because I can't handle it I will stop using tumblr once and for all people think they can publish whatever they want just because they feel like it It was a pleasure to discover your blog, I really love your blog and your way of responding to people I'm going to stop using social media for a while goodbye 💗

my heart stopped beating for a few seconds I was very sad about this ask copy and admiration has no comparison I've been through this countless times , there's no point in talking, cursing, blocking, ignoring when the person has bad intentions, they won't stop this made me stop using pinterest, although I found my entire blog

reposted without credits and some people copying my entire post and using names similar to mine, this really isn't inspiration I ignore

most of them because people like that don't make sense to talk, they think they are in charge on social media they will never understand what it is like to make a beautiful and time-consuming edit with care If you don't want to put credits in the post simply talk to the owner of the post, it's so simple honestly, don't go away and

try to have more conversations with these people if they are rude to you because of AN EDIT YOU MADE, block them and ignore

The most annoying thing is for you to leave, I don't know what your blog is, but please stay, I know how boring it all is, but just hang in there because it's not fair for you to go, some people can be understanding if you talk calmly to them there are a lot of cool people on tumblr stay here and tell me your username and do like me just ignore people with bad intentions

🍮🎀⭐️涙もあっていいけど🍮🎀⭐️

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I know Wicked is not going to make Dorothy a young kid like in the books but I really like when dark versions of childrem literature do keep them as kids.

Not in "it's more fucked up" light but in this is also a metaphor for kids growing up in a weird scary world while most adults never actually explain anything and either expect them to already know or to be forever oblivious. And so the kids have to figure it out. To make themselfs the decision to remain kind, to learn to love the new world or at least the people in it.

And I do think being a kid is part of the reason Dorothy reacts to Oz so diferently than the Wizard. Yes, it is also because she is a good person. But Dorothy is a kid she is used to things that make no sense. So she goes to an insane new world and her first instinct is to learn. She is quicky to accept that animals talk and scracrows walk and tin man have life. Because she is open minded yes, but also because kids know they don't know everything in a way most adults don't.

But Dorothy also killed (she didn't but you get it) someone and was praised for it. And she is scared and she wants to go home. And everyone keeps teeling her she did the right thing and that all she needs to do to go home is meet this amazing all powerfull guy and kill the horrible mean witch. And every fairy tale has evil witches. So maybe it's okay. And she takes it. Because she is a child and she is new and they are adults.

But she is kind. She befriends all this traumatized adults with backstories and connections she does not know (just like real kids don't know the past of the adults they trust) and she just wants to help them. And she notices that the Tin Man already has a heart and the Scarecrow has a brain (Fiyero was likely lying from the start but Dorothy does not know that) and that the Lion does have courage. And she decides it also means she has to do the right thing so (and I'm going Wicked books here) when she meets Elphie all she wants is to apologize. She knows what is like to lose family and also she knows the witch protects the animals and Toto is her best friend, so anyone that protects animals cannot be that evil specially when the animals here are really just people but different shaped. She doesn't know if she will ever be forgiven but she wants Elphaba to know it was an accident, to know she is sorry, to know someone else is mourning her sister, to know that it is scary and unfair. To give her the shoes back if she can finally just take them off.

She is brave and when she discovers the Wizard is a farse she shows it to everyone. And it's not planned in any way because she is a kid. She doesn't have the maturity, the trauma nor the context Galinda has. Hell she must have noticed Glinda loves the witch and it might be the one reason she does not call Glinda out as well, not any strategy just thinking love can fix all cause she's a young kid.

[I also just think baby Dorothy would make everything funnier. And of course I have the personal fix it that Glinda and Elphie make amends post cannon as them (and Fiyero) find about Tip and raise Ozma as the polycule they should've always been (and also try to fix Oz from very different angles). Only as the Oz books go Dorothy and Toto come back (with Uncle Henry and Aunt Em this time) and she and Ozma fall in love (homoerotic best friends and co-princess wich is the same). And I think Ozma going to present Dorothy to her low key parents only to learn Dorothy has very diferent forms of history with them is golden.]

P.S: This was edited so I will add that in the original I made the point that I consider the three girls that best follow this lost child in a world of horror and wonder having to figure it out by themselfs with a but of an allegory for growing up and the expectations unfairy placed upon them as queer and neurodivergent even if unintented so (it's also accidentaly about gender in my head). The girls being of course Dorothy, Alice and Wendy.

P.S2: I know in the books they just die and in the musical they run for our world but it's my fix it and let's be honest Oz is in shambles and a very traumatized Glinda will not fix it all by herself and she deserves some support.

[lugarn]

Before we dive in to the meat of your reply I have to just start with the idea that fix-it fic means fixing the problematic elements. It reminds me of the way modern fandom treats 'gay panic' like you're in a panic because you're realizing you're gay. Real history has been forgotten here! I am also interested in genuinely picking media apart! It's fun, but I want to do it with love for the media and what it was trying to do (Ebert-style) rather than with disappointment from what I thought it should've been.

Back in the Supernatural days I wrote a lot of meta! Not just about stuff I liked, but as part of the larger conversation about the things that the show lacked in terms of female characters (or any other regular characters) and how that was both an asset to the storytelling and a failure to imagine women and minorities as part of the world. It was fun as hell and I was part of a group who beta-read each others' metas and would make excellent points that would then make the metas even better. There was a thriving meta community and no matter what analysis we held we all knew that the other people weren't saying that the show or its fans were unworthy of love due to the media's flaws, or that people who chose not to see the flaws were inherently less than.

I also like a lot of shows that got into super heated levels of criticism! The main one was Playboyy, where the criticism veered into speaking over/ignoring sex workers' opinions of how the show handled sex work. I'm very familiar with the ways that tone-policing queers in BL have decided that something is bad and thus the people who like it are bad.

It's terrible, but like you, I focus on what I want to make. I focus on running events and writing fic and sometimes even editing vids. But I feel pretty alone, in the end, because there are so few people doing it alongside me. Fandom's not supposed to be a place where those of us who make and post things feel increasingly alone, but here we are.

As far as belonging, I think you're probably right. An adjacent issue is that there's not a real queer community online the way there is offline. Things were smaller and tighter-knit in the past, and I think that constant organizing around HIV/AIDS was part of what kept throwing people together to form more and more communities. I don't know how to fix it.

The reality is that queer folks are a small part of the percentage of the world, and while we can be powerful, in terms of viewing/buying potential, we don't really have enough market share to affect the world. (I wish we did. That would be nice.)

Media that's successful is appealing in some way to straight people. That doesn't make the media inherently worse! In a lot of ways it makes it better, the same way the analysis in my metas were made better by having a lot of eyes on them. Something that appeals to more people will also appeal to more queer people, since we're varied. It's a real win-win.

a question for QL fandom at large: when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards?

there has never been a perfect show, and there never will be a perfect show, because everybody likes different things and QL is run on shoestring budgets. i thought this was something we made our peace with as viewers of the genre!

so i'm just wondering at what point fandom decided that a show is only worthy of praise/fandom if it has no problems?

at what point did we decide that talking about the problems of a show is more important than talking about what we did enjoy and what kept us watching? i don't know when it happened, but it definitely has. critique is treated more seriously and gets more interaction than people talking about what they like.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

i want joy, i want fun, i want the spirit of camaraderie in fandom.

so, why did fandom begin to snub any media that didn't fit very high standards? and how can we steer ourselves away from that impulse?

(i am genuinely curious about why this is happening and how those of us who don't enjoy it can change, so please feel free to jump in, even if you are 'late' or think you only have a very small contribution to make to the discussion.)

[onlyrainbowshipstbh]

Babe and Billy via their Instas!

[shorthaltsjester]

the mighty nein - critical role

this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.

[anastacialy]

tracked down this clip just because of this post! have jokes from skizz and scar

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Do you use AI generators to compile or scrape this information?

no

[unfinishedslurs]

LOUMAND EPIC DIVORCE FIGHT PT.3

if loumand has 1 million fans I am one of them if loumand has 5 fans I am one of them if loumand has 1 fan it is me if loumand has 0 fans I have been removed from this mortal plane if the world is against loumand I am against the world. failmarriage enjoyers come get y’all’s juice

“What happened to those ‘Great Laws,’ Armand?” He asked, fury rising in him again. “You know, the ones you killed my daughter for?”

“What do you want me to say? Would you have me apologize again so you can refuse it? To tell you that if I could go back and change it, I would? To turn back the wheel of time itself and undo it all? I cannot.”

Louis wanted to strangle him. Would, if he didn’t know that Armand would just sit there and let him, not feeling a damn thing. “I want you to feel fucking sorry!”

Armand rolled his eyes, but Louis had spent over seventy years sleeping next to the monster under the bed. Had decades to learn his tricks and tells. Not all of them, like he might have thought once, but enough to spot the minuscule shift in his expression. The brief twitch of his mouth and the shuttered blink before his face flattened.

There he is, he thought triumphantly. A reaction, a real one. Something that alluded to the man beneath the mask he always wore, not nearly as impenetrable as he thought it was.

“‘Sorry,’” he scoffed, lifting his chin haughtily. “Sorrow is for mortals. We are vampires, Louis. We do not have the time to waste on regrets and what-if’s.”

As if he hadn’t seen into Armand’s mind countless times. As if he had not held him through a thousand nights of wishing he could go back and save his Maker, save Riccardo, save his brothers. As if he had not once confessed to Louis that he sometimes wished he could go back and die a human death in Marius’ arms. The audacity of the lie was almost like a slap in the face of their entire companionship. Or was Armand telling the truth, and those memories the lie? How much did Louis know him, really?

He couldn’t be sure anymore, but he was confident that it was better than any living being on this earth. Enough to get through the lies and rip into the man underneath, the fragile heart in the photograph. If Armand owed him anything, it was this.

“No time? We got nothing but time! You really expect me to believe that when your fledgling is flaunting himself in front of millions with no Maker in sight? You telling me you’re a deadbeat ‘cuz you don’t feel regret?”

Armand’s mouth pursed before he stepped back. “Don’t speak of things you don’t understand,” he warned, eyes darting back and forth. Settling on the closest window like he was thinking about an escape.

Louis didn’t give him one. “Oh, I understand plenty,” he scoffed. “I probably understand better than you. What, you thought you’d make our ‘symbol of love’ immortal for shits and giggles?”

That finally got a visible reaction out of him, swiveling his head back to look at Louis with wide eyes. “I didn’t—“

“You let your coven fucking lynch me because of my fledgling, but eight decades later you’re doing the same damn thing! To the ill and infirmed, no less.”

“What do you want from me?” Armand finally burst out, whirling around on him in an incandescent rage. Louis felt himself smile, could feel his lip splitting as his fangs dropped. “I have apologized time and time again—“

“Only ‘cuz you thought it would fix things!”

“—spent years throwing myself at your feet for your mercy—“

“Mercy? Did you show my daughter—“

“Will it ever be enough? Over seventy years devoted to you—“

“A drop in a bucket compared to the fact that it was over half my life—“

“I don’t know what else I can do!”

“Say sorry and fucking mean it this time!” He roared. “Feel fucking sorry for lying to me throughout our entire companionship! Say something real for once!”

They both fell silent at that, chests heaving through some faded muscle memory. Puppets just going through the motions yet again. What was it that Armand said? Mark it on the calendar, align it with Ursa Major. Louis and Armand’s tri-annual blow-up fight to kingdom come.

Louis’ voice trembled as he said, “I want to know why. None of that ‘I could not prevent it’ shit. I want you to tell me why you let them kill my daughter.”

Armand sank down on the couch, shoulders slumping. Submission and acceptance coloring every inch of him. “Why?” He murmured, staring at his knees. “It will not change anything.”

Louis sat on the other end, keeping as much distance between them as he could. “Humor me.”

“…it is true, that it was because of Madeleine,” he finally admitted. “She was somewhat of a last straw. I had told you before, the creation of more creatures like us was something I could not condone. If you did not love me enough to understand and accept that, how could I trust you over the people in my coven? How could I believe you would not leave me to whatever caught your fancy next?”

“And saving me?”

“Lestat—“

“I don’t mean on stage. Why didn’t you let me die in the coffin? I was almost gone. It would have been over, and then you would have had your coven and spent the rest of eternity directing plays, fooling an audience, listening to Santiago blabbering on…”

“So you’d submit me to a punishment worse than death,” Armand said dryly.

He almost cracked a smile before he remembered himself. “I’m not in the mood to be funny right now.”

Armand sighed, as if Louis was some insufferable child he was humoring. It pissed him off, but yelling wouldn’t get him what he wanted right now. Even if it would be cathartic and incredibly deserved. “The coven wasn’t the same, after,” he said. “They had lost respect for me. In part, I suspect, because they could sense the regret you seem so insistent on. Santiago had never liked me much—“

“He wanted to fuck you.”

“He got off on forcing me to submit. He knew the name I had told you. I don’t know how, whether he heard you say it or if he plucked it out of your head through the appalling shields Lestat had not trained you on—“

“Don’t talk about him. This is about us.”

He looked briefly incensed at that, and he could almost hear the retort, “But you can speak about Daniel?” He didn’t say it, though, because Daniel was different. Daniel had been theirs, in a way that Louis couldn’t put to words.

Armand must have known that too, because he moved on without comment. “The coven could sense my guilt, my regret, and they closed in on me. Is that what you wished to hear? That I saved you to save my own skin?”

“Okay.”

Armand looked at him in surprise, frowning. “Okay?” He echoed.

“That was about what I expected to hear.” He learned back against the couch, letting the cushion swallow him and his regrets. It stung, but he was still too angry to really feel it. What was one more betrayal? What was one more petty grievance eighty years in the past?

Armand considered him for a moment. “It was also because I love you,” he said softly. “I do not want you to doubt that. The coven was only part of it. I found I could not bear the thought of your death.”

Found out too late, but hindsight is 20/20. What did it matter that Louis still had stones rattling around in his ankles? The constant reminder weighing him down, never as badly as the memories that came with them. If Armand had decided to wipe the trial from his mind, would he have removed them as well, or left them? Would Louis know why his footsteps felt so strange, what the aching in his heels heart meant when it echoed in his heart? He wished they were back in Dubai, so he could feel the comfort of his rock garden beneath his feet.

“Okay,” he said again. “Now pause the bullshit for a minute.”

Pause. Blink. Head tilt. He could see the cogs turning in Armand’s head like clockwork. For a master manipulator, he was always incredibly predictable. Or maybe Louis had spent too much time with him. “I’m not lying to you.”

“No,” he agreed, “but we’re going around the real problem. You said Madeleine was the last straw, but that was me. Let’s go back to that. Why did you kill my daughter?”

“The Great Laws—“

“I didn’t ask about them.”

Armand fell silent, studiously not looking at him. Louis settled back and waited him out.

Finally he spoke, very quietly. If they weren’t vampires he wouldn’t even have heard him. “I fear that if I tell you the truth, I will forsake the last bit of affection you may still hold for me.”

“If you don’t tell me, you’re gonna get the exact same result,” he said. “So I don’t think it matters.”

The blow struck. Armand swayed as if taking a physical hit, taking a deep breath he didn’t need. When he looked at Louis, his eyes were lined red with tears he didn’t let fall. Truth, or another tactic for sympathy? It didn’t matter. He had plenty of experience ignoring Armand’s tears in the bedroom, he couldn’t let himself falter when it mattered most.

“She reminded me of myself. Of the youth I once had.” It came out of him in a rush, as if he’d been holding the words back for centuries. “Amadeo begged his master to turn him for over a decade, and each refusal battered his very soul. As he grew older, taller, as hair began to grow on his face and chest and between his legs, as his master took him to his bed less and less. Amadeo was loved, yes, yet it was not until I was nearly thirty and dying that my master saw fit to give me the gift. I was jealous, Louis, is that what you wanted to hear? She had everything Amadeo had ever wanted, yet she cursed her own fortune with every breath she took. I forced her to reckon with it, quietly delighted in watching her perform a song that made her more miserable with every note. I thought she was a spoiled, inconsequential flea who would not make it another fifty years. I believed her to be the reason you refused my companionship. A hundred reasons, each of them more petty than the last. What does it matter? You will hate me no matter what.”

Louis thought he might be sick.

Armand closed his eyes, drawing back into himself. “If that was the only reason,” he said almost gently, “I would not have done it. But I had seen dozens like her over the centuries. Children are not meant for the gift. Either madness takes them, or they cannot bear the constant infantilization, or something else, it doesn’t matter. One by one they walk into the sun. The absence of choice can be a mercy.”

He clearly believed what he was saying, which just made it even worse. How much “mercy” had Armand offered over the years?

Even deeper down, Louis wondered if he was right. The first vampire they ever met in Europe had cast herself into the flames before their eyes. Louis himself had run headfirst into the sun and nearly succeeded. How many others had destroyed themselves because they could not bear the Gift they were given?

“Not Claudia. She was strong.” Stronger than Louis had ever been, certainly.

“They all say that, and yet they all succumb eventually.”

“She wouldn’t have”

Armand sighed. “I supposed we’ll never know,” he acquiesced. Louis could tell his heart wasn’t in it.

He let it slide this time. At least the words were true. “No, we won’t.”

They sat in silence for a time, not looking at each other. The only sound from the cars driving outside. They did not need to breathe, to blink, to move at all. As still as the pictures Louis used to take, back when things seemed like they might turn out okay.

Finally, Louis exhaled slowly. Armand turned toward him, but said nothing.

“Okay,” he said. “Okay. I don’t forgive you.”

Armand didn’t flinch. Didn’t blink. Just stared at him motionless, as if he was waiting for something.

“I don’t forgive you,” he repeated pointedly. “But I’m not going to kill you.”

“I don’t understand.”

Of course he didn’t. Hadn’t that been what he was aiming for when he turned Daniel? If you touch him, Louis had said, and Armand had given his fascinating boy the worst curse he could imagine as soon as his back was turned. 500 years passively yearning for an end no one would provide. Louis wouldn’t be the one to grant him mercy.

His final gift to Armand, or maybe his final “fuck you.” A long life. An eternity at his fingertips, exactly as Amadeo had once begged for. The chance to grow even more powerful until little Arun could never be hurt again. A chance to torture himself for the rest of time in a hell of his own making. A chance to better himself, if Louis was feeling generous.

He wasn’t sure, but after seventy-seven years of standing hand in hand with this man, this monster, this little boy trembling in the midst of all the power he held, he thought it was a kind of salvation. For both of them.

Besides, Daniel was thriving better than either of them in the throes of the Gift. Armand had to have known he would.

“I don’t either,” he said. “You’d deserve it. But I’m tired, Armand, and I loved you once. I think that counts for something.”

Armand’s eyes widened. He stood quickly, putting distance between them, but not before Louis saw a bloody tear slip down his cheek. “Don’t say that to me when you don’t mean it. I cannot bear it.”

He looked as pained as Louis had ever seen him, despair twisting his features at the words Louis had never afforded him when they were together. He was beautiful in his misery, as beautiful as he was in anything. He hated him for it as much as he’d loved him once. The Temptation of Amadeo, rendered in flesh and blood and the viscera of honesty.

“I do. I did,” he said, twisting the knife just to be cruel. “Guess it doesn’t matter now.”

Armand shook his head. Opened his mouth, then froze, caught between words. Still as a painting in the low lamplight. Louis could see the brush strokes on his face, see every piece of art he had shown him overlaid with the real man in front of him.

“Right,” Louis said, when enough time had passed that he was certain Armand wouldn’t say anything. “Glad we had this talk.”

“Are you?”

Louis surprised himself when he answered, “Yeah, actually. I am. You?”

“I don’t know.” He looked frail, sad, tired, but no closer to walking into the fire than he had been when Louis had cornered him.

He thought that deep down, he was probably relieved by it. The confirmation that Louis wouldn’t kill him, that the love between them hadn’t been a complete lie. Still, how would he know? His lack of understanding of Armand’s innermost thoughts had been made abruptly clear to him with a script marked in red ink.

“Anything else we should talk about?” He asked. “Any other lies? Any other Danny’s knocking around in my brain, waiting for me to remember them?”

“No. No, there was only one. Daniel Malloy is not an experience you can replicate, I suspect.”

“Thank God for that.”

He almost smiled at that. “Indeed.”

“Speaking of Daniel Malloy,” Louis said, standing up. “For fucks sake, pick up the damn phone. Give our boy a call.”

Our boy. A slip he hated himself for instantly. It was too easy to fall into their old patterns, something that was probably by design. Shock flashed over Armand’s face before it was replaced by humor. “He hates it when you call him that,” he pointed out.

“I’ve had to deal with that shit for a century, he can handle it.”

“He finds it arousing.”

“You’re not the only one who can read minds around here, you know.”

“Are you going to do anything about it?”

As if Armand still had any right to know who was in his bed. “Are you? Don’t think I didn’t pick up on his thoughts about ‘Rashid.’ You feeding him your blood was probably a dream come true for him. Did you get to pick his brain about it before it was closed to you forever? What did he think of the taste?”

Armand’s lips thinned, and he turned away.

Louis didn’t let him leave without a final blow. “You gonna tell him about the other memories you erased?”

He stiffened. “You have no right—“

“I have every right, and you know it.”

“If you must know, the answer is no. What difference would it make?”

A pretty damn big one, if you asked Louis. He felt it every time he talked to Daniel, the yawning cavern of curiosity surrounding the blank afterimages in his memory, the way he could clearly sense something wasn’t right. Searching the globe for Armand, chasing him in some kind of fucked up role reversal only one of them was aware of. And then Armand, clearly punishing himself with every echoed heartbeat, every kill Daniel took to like a shark in a reef. Only making them both miserable as he hid in solitude.

“Honesty, Arun,” Louis snapped.

They both froze. Fuck. Fuck. Falling into old habits indeed, the world's most ill-timed Freudian Slip. He’d tried so hard to stay away from it, to wrangle Armand’s honesty from him in a way that didn’t depend on the command of his submission. He’d finally gotten what he wanted, and then he had to go and screw it up.

“I am not Arun to you, anymore.” Armand’s voice trembled. “I would prefer you did not use it.”

Louis nodded, even though Armand couldn’t see him. Bit back the instinctive apology on his tongue.

“I do not see the use in continuing this pointless conversation. Is there anything else you want of me, anything else you require?”

Yes. He wanted to shake him, tell him that they weren’t done here. He still had questions. He wanted to strip Armand down to the bone, rip his flesh off piece by piece and expose the skeleton underneath. Would that finally reveal the truth, or would he have to go deeper? Into bone marrow, the stem cells, his DNA. Would that allow Louis to know him?

It didn’t matter. The mask had gone up, and Louis didn’t have the energy to pull it back down again.

“No.”

Armand nodded once, his back still to Louis, before walking to the door. He paused with his hand on the knob. “I have always been a coward, Louis,” he confessed, still staring straight ahead. Louis could see the set of his shoulders, the clench of his fist, but not his face. “There is your truth.” He twisted the knob, opened the door. “You will not see me again, if you do not wish.”

Before Louis could reply, he was gone.

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[acourtofquestions]

TOWER OF DAWN SPOILER ALERT

OH MY WORD

ITS LYSANDRAS FATHER isn’t it

Update:

OH MY WORD IT IS

Updated Update: OH MY WORD I HAD IT WRONG HES HER… UNCLE??

But still…

Wait… Does that mean her father’s alive??

I can’t keep track of the updates but I’m pretty sure Nesryn just put the pieces together and almost said it

Mostly just my mind is blown twice in less than 2 chapters… I have no coherency… just… wow

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

okay so i’ve been watching a lot of smosh content recently and i’m enjoying a lot of their stuff (it’s the starkid to smosh pipeline istg. thank you angela giarratana). and i’m hesitant to call myself a fan yet (mainly because i would love it if they stopped employing a zionist yk) but i will say. baf legacy has been consuming all of my waking thoughts ever since i watched it and i can’t hold it in any longer. i’m so obsessed. need this series pumped through my blood 24/7.

[coridallasmultipass]

It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.

I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).

[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]

My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.

The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)

Anyway, shrimp tax:

I lov thees widdle oange bebies.

Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.

[mayo-is-an-instrument]

I made a boo oc!! I'll make more drawings to use them for when I start making "serious" YouTube videos :3