#i know platonic intimacy is different in other cultures

[ladyshinga]

the thread this is from was a gender-wars nightmare but the OP's post was about how hard it is for men to understand/accept compliments without getting it confused with flirting and tbh? I need everyone to understand this isn't all that gender-specific. this is not a "men vs women" problem. this is everyone. we're all isolated and broken creatures and it will take genuine and real work to become better and build real relationships

[entering--hyperspace]

Cannot imagine whatever is going on through Mr Leonard Echowatcher's head. You spend your life yearning for a world where you lived differently, where the day wasnt soaked in war, blood, and battle. Where you could envision a future where you have a partner and a family with friends to live gracefully with. But then you are given such opportunities only to find you were never taught to be gentle, you have a gentle, empathetic nature and yet the physicality of it is a stranger to you. You are expected to raise a child with gentle hands so that she saves the world, What does that even mean? How can you accept your growing love for your friend when you were never taught how to love, that intimate love is a luxury best left forgotten, there are no need for such things in war. He has to learn to become the things he wanted bc he grew too old to develop it naturally. He becomes a father to taimi fumbling his way into learning how to care and parent, he is defensive of Aurene bc he is from a culture where they arent expected to raise their own young and yet has to do so with a dragon. It feels like a test, He has to prove both to others and to himself he is capable of being a father, of nuturing, that calloused, stained hands can still be gentle. He has to accept that love is a terrifying leap of faith in vulnerability in order to gain a partnership that is considered a rarity. I love the idea that he spent 30 years yearning for things he thought he would never have and when he is actually given those opportunities (albeit admittedly through unusual circumstances) he has to learn how to actually live in them, becuase they were always just Concepts until now. Ohhhh my god Mr. Leo you are my everything

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is hating on the "Just Roommates™" that everyone says and everyone is kinda forcing some unlabeled intimacy to to have a label but they jokingly say JUST ROOMMATES and giggle like it's a codename for "theyre romantically doing things they just dont know it".

Why should everything have a romantic implication im tired of this it literally takes my two brain cells gazillion laps to 'read between the lines' i just wanna automatically say yea this is platonic and then not give a flying fuck Like EVER

also, speaking as someone in their mid 20s? roommates getting together ends so badly like. 90+% of the time. generally, also, people living with someone they've been together with for <1 year. it's not that it can't work out, but... in the early stages of a romantic relationship, you gotta make sure you're healthy both with and without each other. living together is not conducive to that. the main two elements to that, in my brain at least are: healthy with each other = not codependent, and without each other = have an external social network to fall back on.

an alternate thought from a different alter: I also think it's interesting how domesticity is seen as romantic, and not familial by so many. I wonder what cultural elements play into that, because I'm not sure if it's part of amatonormativity, part of the nuclear family shitshow, or what. I might bring that up at an irl a-spec group we go to this week and see what the history prof who loves to tell us her knowledge on such subjects has to say about that.

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

How are the boys when it comes to hookup culture?Who would never fuck unless they're in an actual relationship?Who claims they can ~easily~ do casual except they catch feelings way too fast and end up hurt?Who is walking around able to screw a different person for every day of the month?

Steve Murphy: He’d be absolutely terrible at it if he ever tried, but I suspect he already knows this about himself. He won’t do hookups with strangers period, but man, if he ever got into a situationship?? Even if he tried to keep it casual, he’s catching feelings so fast and ending up pissed off and/or heartbroken. I mean, hell, just look the longing expressions he shoots Javi when he thinks Javi can’t see!

Donald Pierce: I HC that when the urge to get dicked down gets intense enough, he’ll download Grindr or hit up a gay bar and have some quick, dirty, anonymous sex that he feels gross about immediately afterwards. It’s for the best those trysts are one-offs though - he’s absolutely gonna catch feelings fast if he’s seeing someone on a regular (or even semi-regular) basis. I think Pierce generally wants some kind of *commitment*. He’s ~better~ at doing more casual FWB arrangements with women, but even then, it’s still gonna get emotional eventually. (It’s the cuddling! It makes him fall in love! Platonic or romantic, it doesn’t matter – it all kind of blends together for him!)

Cap Hatfield: I can see Cap getting into doing non-sexual impact play and rope scenes with his local kink community, and I think in that situation he wouldn’t necessarily need to have an established relationship with his play partners, although he’d prefers to have some regulars he does scenes with vs different people every time. Cap absolutely does not participate in casual sex though.

Clement Mansell: It’s unpredictable with Clement! If he’s not in a relationship, he’s happily fucking around with an assortment of different people, but he’ll sometimes randomly catch feelings. Clement isn’t shy about telling them when it happens, and I think a lot of the time, historically, it’s been reciprocated (Clement likes being liked! A lot of the people he falls for are the ones giving him sweetness and emotional intimacy), but when he’s not, he’s absolutely heartbroken. Expect a lot of sad songs and acting out in dive bars until he finds someone new to fall in love with.

The Corinthian: The Corinthian’s better at hookups than relationships, and not just because of his tendency to murder his victim- er, lover. The Corinthian loves being able to superficially dazzle someone and then have great sex!! Ideal! I don’t think he really knows what to do beyond those more shallow interactions though - even with Carl, he started getting weird fast when he got asked the pretty basic fucking question: “do you read”.

Eli Klaber: Klaber only has sex in committed relationships! He’ll do the occasional threesome as a treat though.

Danny Maguire: He absolutely fucks around with girls he meets at parties or clubs, and it rarely go great for anyone involved. For starters, he’s sort of a lousy and inconsiderate fuckbuddy (if you wanna manage to have a decent time with Danny, best bet is to just knock him flat on the bed and ride him to your heart’s content!), but also, he’s not really enjoying himself much either! He’s mostly going through the motions of what he thinks a cool mafia heir like him should be doing, and then goes home feeling some type of way he doesn’t understand and immediately hops into the shower.

Ty Shaw: He’s definitely had casual sex; he’s fine with it and conducts himself well, but he prefers relationships, or at least genuinely friendly FWBs. (Hm, you know? I wonder if in some ways he might prefer having a handful of stable, affectionate, long-term FWBs to a more defined relationship. I also don’t think Ty does monogamy super well, but that’s a whole other thing.)

Quinn McKenna: He’s had hookups before. He can do it if it’s clearly stated in advance what this is (he doesn’t like ambiguity!). That being said, I don’t think he usually bothers. It’s just not worth it. He doesn’t exactly have the biggest libido, and hooking up with people is always a lot of work every time.

[novlr]

How do you make readers see that the characters you are writing about have a platonic relationship not a romantic one without writing he's a father figure to her or someone asking the question ‘why you two are not together?’ To which they reply something which implies they have a platonic relationship. Like how to show without saying or writing particular words?

This is an excellent question with many layers. I’ve addressed elsewhere how to write long-established loving relationships where I explored romantic vs companionate love. Let’s dig deeper into emotional intimacy, which I see as the basis for both platonic and romantic relationships. But first, let’s take a detour into authorial intent.

Authorial intent

I think every writer has experienced that moment when a reader latches onto something in the work – a relationship, a plot point, a world building thread – and runs off in a direction the author did not intend. Witness the wild and prolific world of fanfic.

I take it as a compliment that people connect with my work and expand on it in their own imaginations. I admit to sometimes being puzzled by where they go with it. Recognizing this happens can save you a lot of headaches.

That obviously platonic relationship you wrote? There will be readers who will, in their own headcanon, make it romantic. Not what you wanted, and it can be frustrating, especially if you are trying to explore platonic relationships. My advice is to shake it off and don’t worry about it. You can’t control how others relate to your work or what speaks to them. 

With that out of the way, let’s talk about ways to clearly signal which type of relationship it is and how to avoid signaling that you really intend for it to be romantic at some point in the future.

Platonic vs romantic relationships

Start by thinking of the various platonic relationships in your life and that you see around you. Observe people in coffee shops, parks, restaurants. Can you tell by watching which people are in romantic relationships and which are good friends? What are the differences you see between friendships and romantic relationships?

Look at personal space, eye contact, nicknames, the patterns of speech used, and how they touch or don’t touch one another. This also needs to be looked at through the lens of what is appropriate for the given culture. Now think about best friends. This is a very common platonic relationship. What does that look like?

It’s easy to see how the two types of relationships can be confused. Both are often lifelong and carry a lot of emotional intimacy. What secrets does your best friend know about you? Who do you go to when you need to solve a problem? To further complicate it, many people consider their romantic partner to be their best friend. Think of it as a Venn diagram. There is a lot of overlap between platonic and romantic relationships. 

Show vs tell 

So how does an author signal its platonic and not romantic? You can, of course, just tell the reader that X is Y’s best friend and there is no romantic attraction. Does the reader believe you? Let’s look at a few ways you can show that is the case. 

Are either of them in a romantic relationship? Have them discuss their lovers past and present. 

A corollary to the above – have one act as the other’s wingman in a social situation.

How are you describing physical contact between the two? How does a platonic hug differ from a romantic one? Do they link arms when walking? How is that different from how they would do so with a lover? 

Give them more of a sibling vibe, and think about how siblings treat each other. 

How do your characters feel about romance in general? Is one or the other asexual? 

Emotional intimacy

Whatever you do, don’t shy away from writing about emotional intimacy. Have your characters share their problems, feelings, and secrets. How do they help one another or get in one another’s way? How do they joke with each other? Then find ways of showing how they do that differently in a romantic relationship. You can also do that with secondary characters in your work who are in a romantic relationship. That contrast will help make your point that it’s platonic. 

Finally, it is absolutely ok if you don’t want to write about romantic relationships at all or you are writing an asexual character who would never have a romantic relationship. You can still do the compare-and-contrast to background characters or social expectations. A quick line here and there will also cover it. Asexual characters can express how they just don’t feel attraction or are disgusted by romance or certain types of physical contact. You can have someone ask, “Is this your boyfriend/girlfriend?” and have your character respond. It can be an opportunity to show how they imagine that scenario.

[ranticore]

Two shortwing rival academics and a lil bit about spire culture

The East North Spire (or honestly just 'Spire', people will know what you mean) is the most densely populated location on the planet. It consists of the remains of one of the largest old telecommunications spires on a cliff. The sea around here is shallow and dense with reedbeds which can be used to make building material. Wood (or an alien equivalent) doesn't exist on Siren so reeds make up most permanent and impermanent structures, as well as providing the pulp with which to make paper and the extremely light reedsilk clothing that harpies wear.

Being surrounded by abundant natural resources as well as being an area with relatively mixed water year-round, so good fishing opportunities, the spire was an obvious choice to build on. The structure of the spire is made of woven reed platforms and silk tents attached to the main trunk, but over the years it has grown immensely wide and complex. People might liken its appearance to a giant multicoloured tree if they knew what a tree was. The structure extends down the cliff-face all the way to the water, where it expands into a dense network of docks and pontoons which has become something of a globlal shipping hub.

The spire is mostly famous for its strict occupation-based culture and honorifics system, which I originally scribbled down on a drawing of Qedivar and Terwy in ramble form, but it's important to understand that these names are cultural and geographical so not limited to harpies.

This is the first pass of the naming system so it's likely outdated lol.

Anyway what started as a collection of craft guilds at the spire transformed over centuries into the world's only institute of higher learning. It is mostly a gigantic and deeply bureaucratic university, the headmaster of which is the highest authority in the entire city.

The culture at the spire is loud. Open debate, arguments, and outright fights are encouraged as a way to clear the air and avoid any simmering tension building up between aggrieved parties. Holding a grudge is considered physically bad for your health, worse than any consequences of a heated debate or quick scuffle (drawing blood is where this acceptance of fighting ends, however). The population density is ludicrous, especially in the shortwing bowers where you'd be lucky to have a wingspan's worth of space to yourself, so it's in their best interests to become very good at managing conflict as early as possible. There is no concept of romantic relationships as a separate phenomenon to platonic relationships here and the potential for gigantic nightmarish polycules to develop is almost guaranteed, but a comparatively small societal weight is placed on sex and intimacy, it's just a thing you do with your friends and that's about it, you won't get any institution of marriage though it is possible (rare) for a pair to be exclusive.

There are no blood ties or familial bonds among inhabitants of the spire. There are differing gestation periods & nurseries based on body type, but among the shortwings, who are the most numerous and have very short gestation periods, nursery duty is pretty much like jury duty. Everybody gets called out to the nursery every couple of years to do early infant care, once the birthing parent is no longer needed (at time of weaning usually). The infants are communally raised and when they're old enough to learn they get shuffled immediately off to school where they will remain until age 12 or so when they pick their main topic of study, or a craft apprenticeship. Then their fellow students or guild masters are considered to be their true families.

The culture is frequently xenophobic against basically everyone else; it's got Big City disease where everyone living outside may as well not exist, and other places are far less important. Particular negative consideration is given to people from the Western continent who are thought of as just inherently dumber for not having any great institutions of learning, with the notable exception of the visored harpies. There's also a strongly ableist element in the spire, those not considered smart enough or not fit enough to work a craft are practically second class citizens.

Qedivar and Amivar (-var suffix indicating a scholar working on a theory) share a bower, they're on-again-off-again frenemies due to the fact that the two of them are working on very different theories on the origin of people. Amivar has proposed a theory of evolution, which is partially wrong where the humans are concerned (as they were intentionally designed but have experienced natural selection since) and correct for all other life on Siren (which did evolve), and Qedivar believes the Precursors were similar to gods who magicked the entire planet into being and then populated it with distinct groups of people. Both theories have some merit but really all they've achieved is endless debates and fights, until a particularly harsh defeat at Qedivar's grant application causes our pal Qedivar to decide to set out to prove his theory right by any means necessary, with a budget of almost zero.

While Qedivar travels to the Western continent to learn the heretical truth (which is that he was wrong and they're all just Human aliens), Amivar stays behind. He continues his work, but when the ministry of knowledge at the spire comes knocking to demand to know Qedivar's whereabouts, he's faced with a tough choice - sell Qedivar out and reveal his location, thus potentially getting a really nice research grant in return for his evolution theory which has proven very unpopular, or cover for him and, in doing so, implicitly accept the unacceptable truth of what his colleague has uncovered. I had a lot of fun thinking over Amivar and his actions in these circumstances, in a situation where where so much hinges on pride and self-advocacy... a look at the guy who has to stay behind and deal with the consequences of someone else's grand adventure (as well as the ministry of knowledge threatening to disappear him).

[velvet4510]

i saw these two people in the tolkien discord server i’m in say this, and while i can see their point (i 100% believe that men should be able to be affectionate without romantic undertones), i just feel like so many people get the wrong idea that samfro shippers merely see them as “gay and cute”

most of us accept all interpretations of their relationship, whether that’s soulmates, queer-platonic, romantic, etc

i was wondering what your opinion on this is??

Great question! SO sorry for the delay in responding. I hope to make my reply worth the wait. Also, this answer will be really long - sorry again - but I have many thoughts on this.

I completely agree that men should be able to be affectionate without it being romantic. Women do not have this problem of fearing open affection due to assumptions about sexuality, and I think it’s a terrible symptom of toxic masculinity for men to forbid themselves from showing affection out of fear of it being misinterpreted. LOTR is full of many beautiful examples of how men can be emotionally vulnerable with each other and how platonic friends can still physically express innocent affection (Aragorn’s kiss to Boromir’s forehead is a great example). Modern society should definitely follow the examples set by these characters.

The thing is, as a straight woman, I did not go into LOTR expecting to see any same-sex romances at all. And the majority of male friendships depicted in the book and films never gave me any sense of romantic undertones. Unlike many fans, I do not ship Legolas and Gimli because I recognize that their relationship is a bridge between Elves and Dwarves, proof that they can get along, that despite their differences, they can still find common ground and respect each other and be friends. This to me is a far more important message than a generic “forbidden romantic love story” that many view their relationship as. Their bond isn’t necessarily about wanting to sleep together, but more about recognizing that they can like and be fond of each other, and not allow their parents or cultures to influence how they view each other. I do not hate the Gigolas ship, of course, and people can feel free to ship them if they want to. But to me, they fall under the category described in the discord that you have shared: their friendly intimacy does not necessarily signify anything romantic. Even their journey into the West together does not have to be a romantic thing; I see it as Gimli not wanting to say goodbye to any more of his friends, after losing Merry, Pippin, and Aragorn, and instead going on one last adventure with his soul-brother Legolas.

Frodo and Sam, however, have always stood out to me as being different from all the other friendships in LOTR. I didn’t even take any pause in the fact that they’re both male. I just saw two people in love. It’s just in how they are written, and in Elijah and Sean’s beautiful performances. I totally agree that ANY interpretation of their relationship is valid. I think it is very wrong for any shipper of these two to insult or declare someone “wrong” to see them as just friends. But it’s the same the other way around. It is unfair for non-shippers to hate on shippers. While the argument regarding Tolkien’s Catholicism is an understandable one, texts and characters do develop lives of their own over time. Texts are meant to be interpreted. Tolkien himself wrote that he did not want to enforce his own beliefs within the story, and instead preferred to leave it open to readers to apply their own views and perspectives to it. He basically was inviting us to make interpretations that deviate from his own. He may not have had sexuality in mind when he wrote this, but if he were alive, I very much doubt he’d be hypocritical enough to criticize people for doing the very thing he encouraged them to do, especially since he was smart enough to know that not every reader of his work was or would be Catholic, and thus may not see certain aspects the way he did.

The main, unchangeable, factual point about Frodo and Sam’s relationship is that they love each other. That’s it. They go from formal master and servant to two people who have been through hell and back together, and in the process, formed a bond that nobody else will ever understand. This point stands, whether their specific feelings for each other are platonic or romantic. To view them as lovers does not take away from or undermine the foundations of how Tolkien shaped their characters and the connection they build.

It also bothers me how those who criticize this ship use the word “gay.” Bear in mind, of course, that I’m not an actual member of the LGBT community, and I’m speaking based on my love for my many LGBT friends and relatives, and the efforts I’ve made to understand and empathize with this community, and to never be among those who hate people based on who they love. But I’ve learned enough by now to know that it is quite ignorant of people to truncate the idea of Frodo and Sam being in love as “they’re gay.” Sam is not gay, as shown by his love for Rosie. To ship Frodo and Sam is not to erase Rosie or pretend Sam doesn’t love her. Sam has the biggest heart of any fictional character I’ve ever seen, and I, like many shippers, don’t find it implausible that he has room enough in that heart to have two great loves.

On that note, I’ll now signify that in the text Frodo and Sam have many moments that no other pair of male characters have, which serve as actual potential evidence of a romance. It says in the text itself that he is “torn in two” between Frodo and Rosie. No other pair of male characters in LOTR has any moment like this. Aragorn does not feel torn between Arwen and his friends, for instance. Sam hesitating to marry Rosie if it means he can’t be near Frodo is a very unique detail that adds weight to this “ship.” Not to mention the way Sam strokes Frodo’s hand in Rivendell and blushes, or calls himself “your Sam,” or has a Romeo-like moment of falsely believing Frodo is dead, or longs for the touch of Frodo’s hand in the Tower of Cirith Ungol. Plus, don’t forget that in another of Tolkien’s writings, Elanor directly compares Sam losing Frodo to Celeborn losing his wife. Also, I and many others have described how Frodo and Sam’s story directly parallels that of two canon lovers, Beren and Lúthien. Again, platonic interpretations of all this are valid, but it’s important to remember that shippers are not making things up. We’re not saying or believing that Frodo and Sam are in love “because they’re cute”. There are many moments between them in the text that support this interpretation, not the least of which is a direct parallel to a canon romantic couple - and without context, many of their exchanges and moments could easily be seen in a romantic light. (Sam watching Frodo sleep and saying “I love him, whether or no,” and declaring his one wish after potentially completing the Quest alone is not to return to the Shire and Rosie, but to return to Frodo’s body and never leave him again … all these things are right there in the text. Merry and Pippin, Legolas and Gimli, Aragorn and Boromir, none of them have any moments like this.)

And Sam’s journey across the Sea does not have nearly as much ambiguity as Gimli’s. Gimli has more to gain by going than staying; to stay would be to be left alone with no family and no more Elves or hobbits around, while to go would be to stand by his best friend, see the woman he loves/deeply admires again (Galadriel), and not face any more goodbyes. He wouldn’t really lose anything by leaving with Legolas, only gain. Sam’s circumstances are completely different. He has many people in the Shire; 13 children and countless grandchildren who could take care of him. He could easily spend his last days peacefully living with Elanor and watching her children grow, as any old hobbit would typically do. To sail West would be to lose and permanently be separated from a countless number of loved ones. And though he was affected by the Ring as a Ring-bearer, he held it for a very brief time, short enough for it to not prevent him from having a normal life after the war. It cannot be easily assumed that the lasting effect of the Ring on him was so powerful that it made him happier to leave his family than to stay with them. Because what would be waiting for him in Valinor? Gimli had two people in Valinor to whom he was very close, Legolas and Galadriel, as opposed to no loved ones back in Middle-earth. But Sam had one person in Valinor to whom he was very close, Frodo, as opposed to dozens of loved ones back in Middle-earth. The fact that he chooses Frodo over his family, to live with Frodo rather than die with and rest beside Rosie, to see Frodo again rather than see his family as much as possible in his remaining days…is a major point worth considering, and another thing that adds a layer of credibility to the idea of shipping them.

So to sum it all up, to say “you just ship Frodo and Sam because you don’t know what friendship is, because you think they’re cute so they must want to sleep together” is a MASSIVE trivialization/oversimplification/misunderstanding and completely ignores the things I’ve just laid out, particularly the distinctions between their relationship and those of other male pairings in LOTR.

Ok, ramble time is over…Boy, I hope that made at least one lick of sense! Haha.

[ne0nwithazero]

Did Klieg and Rouxls ever get married, would they want to get married, and do they consider each other their platonic husband? Would it be more of a civil union or doing-it-just-for-tax-benefits if they haven't tied the knot but theoretically were do? Does it ever cross their minds?

Like ik their relationship isn't really romantic in nature, and tbh I think your portrayal of their relationship as something that doesn't fit any premade social/cultural "mold" is really cool. This isn't be saying they should get all mushy and romantic and shit, because they're not that. This is me asking if they'd ever want to officially become life partners via a ceremony, whatever that would look like... I think you probably get what I mean, lol. They're queerplatonic! There aren't predetermined milestones and traditions and shit! I'm just saying I think the concept of "platonic wedding" could be a thing w those creatures idk. Civil union but there's cake and booze (and probably worms) and they still slow dance and make out sloppy style but like as an inseperable aut ARtistic duo. I said artistic. I sai

(tbh this all stemmed from me seeing your recent Klieg doodle and, for whatever reason, recieving a vivid mental image of him in a wedding dress in my mind's eye)

(and typing THAT out made me realize that Klieg would rock a dress so hard... four armed objecthead twink crossdressing... idk)

The way Klieg and Rouxls treat their relationship is so special to me, they get so silly with it! They pretty much just got rid of the stuff they don't like and keep the rest~

They do get married but it's less out of a desire to put their commitment to paper, and more as an excuse to plan out a massive and obnoxious wedding party that's filled with death traps and movie-length vows that are impossible to escape!

Not to get too into NSFW detail, but the closest thing they have to "romantic" in their relationship is physical intimacy, and they enjoy each other's company so much ;; In all aspects, they're keenly aware of each other's needs, and they value their commitment to one another more than anything else. Doesn't matter what form their relationship takes, as long as the commitment is there and they know they can count on one another, they're happy <3

I don't know if they'd even understand aromanticism as a concept, they just think they're weird and when they find someone on the same wavelength, they end up getting bound together regardless. Semantics aside, I don't think they'd understand terms like queerplatonic either, though it does vaguely fit their dynamic! Friends with benefits doesn't fit them either since there's this agreed-upon detachment that I don't think they'd vibe with.

They both have slightly different flavours of aromantic that either mesh really well or not at all gnjkdfngkfd

Like Klieg loves giving affection, but kind of freezes and gets really awkward when the target of affection. And meanwhile Rouxls is the opposite, where he absolutely relishes in the affection he recieves, but he's not exactly good at "retributing"! Which works in their favour since they can find what makes each other happy without making the relationship one-sided.

Also the commitment they have to one another extends to family, they cared little for labels even when Rouxls got pregnant, they just have more important things to worry about~ Like what to name their babies

Also yes, Klieg could pull off a dress, I think~ I don't think he'd feel too comfortable in one, but it's fun to imagine~

[moose-muffin]

It’s been a while, but after a lot of mulling it over I have an announcement for you all.

When I turned 13 I remember being so excited because I could FINALLY legally download tumblr and this account was born, or well, a different account that I ended up losing access to when I made a new email so THEN this account was born HAHA.

I will always be grateful for the love and support this community has given me over the years. I mainly used this blog as a means to make friends and talk about tickling without being the fear of being judged and it did that for me. Thank you all for being so kind. I had a blast making up silly headcanons for characters I enjoyed and loved that I could share them with others who found them just as fun.

I think I’ve realized though that my interest in tickling is not entirely SFW. For a lot of my childhood I assumed I was ace (I still do believe I’m somewhere on the spectrum) but I do know that tickling as a form of intimacy is not just platonic. I want to be able to explore the more NSFW sides of the community. And it wouldn’t feel right doing it on this account. I know that my time in the SFW tickle community has taught me so much. I know that community isn’t strictly for minors, but I also realize a majority are. And I want to keep it a safe space, just as kink communities are safe spaces for people 18+. In no way am I saying this interest can’t be SFW for those who are 18+, that’s valid!! For me, that simply isn’t my reality.

I don’t plan on deleting this account. It can serve as a time capsule of the experiences and the love that this community has to offer. Plus people do interact with my old posts from time to time and they were written as SFW, and I don’t want to take it away because I remember trying to look for niche fandom tk content and often finding nothing, so hopefully they continue to bring people joy.

I’m sure I’ll run into some of you on the other side, I don’t think I’m going to advertise my new account here just yet (it also isn’t created at the moment either HAHA). I’m not sure if I will share it here at all, so please feel free to reach out if you want to stay connected, as long as you are over 18.

To any minors reading this, I want to say I know it can be frustrating and it can feel like you’re being purposefully excluded from something. Kink communities are a beautiful thing, but the reality is there are sexual encounters that occur in those communities. And there is an age of consent for a reason, and while it may be different in different places, I feel strongly that 18 is the age that makes sense. Once you’re an adult, you’d be welcomed into NSFW communities with open arms, but these aren’t just rule for the sake of control, they serve an important purpose. They’re for your safety and also the safety of everyone in the communities as well.

I’ve felt inspired to do this for a while by some of the accounts around me. If you’re someone who’s also moved accounts, most likely you helped me realize I wanted to do the same thing. Thank you for setting a positive example and showing that it’s ok when things change.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! Tumblr is probably my favorite platform and a lot of that has to do with the kindness and also the setting and following of boundaries. Remember to read users intro posts before following and just because it’s the internet doesn’t mean you don’t need consent. (Minors cannot give consent for sexual encounters btw let’s not forget that please) Ok I think that’s about it. Remember to have fun and let yourself be weird and freaky. The world needs more freaks in all honesty. Fuck cringe culture too, do what makes you happy and take care of yourself and your friends. Good luck to each and every one of you!

[freneticphoneticfanatic]

My experience with nonmonogamy has cracked my brain open in a way I don’t think I could turn away from if I wanted to. You can’t promise someone you’ll love them the same way forever, as the two of you grow and change. You can’t promise you’ll never want to pursue a connection outside of the two of you. Why should you? And if you choose to pursue a new connection as “just friends,” why should that relationship have a cap on how much you allow yourselves to deepen it? I feel like when I talk about this stuff, people’s minds go immediately to sexual intimacy, because that’s what our culture is obsessed with. But seriously, why are monogamous relationships held up on this pedestal above all our other relationships? Why is your capital-P Partner supposed to be the most important person in your life? Why do so many people expect ourselves to have just one “most-important” person in our lives?

I take issue with exclusivity, jealousy, and possessiveness. If I spend the majority of my time with one person, and one or both of us decides to start spending more of our time with other people, that ought to enrich our interactions, not take away from them. If these experiences are a net negative for a relationship, take a look at the people involved, including yourself, and their actions. In my experience, shallowness, dishonesty, cruelty, and entitlement are the issues, not un-exclusivity. If you care about someone, you should give them the respect of understanding them as wholly human… that includes respecting their right to be messy and have connections with other people.

I understand the fear that comes with letting go of exclusivity, of a traditional relationship narrative. People like security. But shouldn’t that security come from trusting your partner to be kind, dependable, and trustworthy, even when they’re not “bound” to you? To me, it’s the social equivalent of training a dog with treats vs. without. I can tell my partner I don’t want them to be intimate with other people, and if we agree on that and they’re trustworthy, they won’t do it. I see the value there. But it’s far more interesting to me and builds more trust and a stronger bond to see how my partner interacts with people they’re interested in outside of our relationship. If they treat someone else like shit, or start treating me like shit after connecting with someone else, I consider that a win because that’s clarity on their character. But if they don’t, if they still show up for me and make it known that they value me AND handle other relationships well… wow. What a beautiful thing that is, that I never would have experienced if I hadn’t given them that trust.

To briefly address the sexual aspect, SO WHAT? If the sex is positive and safe, and your partner is kind, honest, and dependable, is there any harm actually done? Or is it mainly an ego blow accompanied by insecurity—fear of a perceived threat to a relationship you value? In other words, a “you” problem that you have to decide whether or not you want to deal with. (Frankly, I think either decision is morally neutral. Just don’t be an asshole, that’s the bottom line.) If you’re going to be with someone, you should trust each other to make good decisions. And because we’re human and therefore flawed, you should also be prepared to be there to support each other if something blows up in your face.

I think the reason people act so different, “not themselves,” and irrational when it comes to capital-L Love, the reason people “struggle to differentiate” between platonic and romantic love, is because most people buy into a fucked up, broken framework for human relationships that’s fake as hell and ultimately rooted in men’s exploitation of women. That’s the standard. Marriage wasn’t even culturally associated with romance until the 18th century. And I only know that because I read a lot of feminist material. It’s not exactly common knowledge, and for good reason.

I recommend checking out Lesbian Ethics by Sarah Hoagland and A Passion For Friends by Janice Raymond. They both challenge our notions of what we consider “real” and valuable relationships. Sarah Hoagland wrote about relationships in Lesbian Ethics in a way that was eye-opening for me at the time. (I need to re-read.) I encourage everyone to let yourself and your relationships be messy. Following a script is easy but often unfulfilling. Trust yourself and your loved ones to create your own structures that work for you.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hello femme

what actions should you expect from a friends with benefits ? Once you leave their presence should they text you to make sure you arrived home safe? When In their presence what should their behaviour look like ?

Hi love! I think first and foremost, it's important to acknowledge that anyone who wants to have sex with you should do their best to make you feel comfortable in their presence. It's totally normal to feel a bit (or super) awkward before, during, and/or after the first time or two after you're intimate with one another. However, once it's an ongoing FWB relationship exists/is established, you should treat each other as friends who happen to bond over the mutual desire to have great (mind-blowing) sex with each other. Common courtesy and respect, like ensuring you got home safe (most men I know offer to call cars both ways, but I think norms are different outside of big cities), offering you a glass of water when you arrive, towels, extra clothes if needed, etc.

Different boundaries and expectations will exist depending if you're purely FWB for sex or have any actual friendship/socialize with your FWB on the side. However, universally, I would say the most important thing is that you're able to communicate openly and honestly with this person regarding your sexual preferences, likes and dislikes, tactful feedback, desires, fantasies, etc, so you need to feel okay being vulnerable to a certain degree.

Allowing yourself to let loose and laugh with this person is important because otherwise, you're going to get in your own way when it comes to the (primary) purpose of your relationship. If you're purely sex friends, it's nice to be able to chat about the more surface-level aspects of your lives, so you understand where the other person is at and are more attuned to their headspace. If there's some degree of actual friendship/social ties mixed into your dynamic, I think it's normal to be able to talk in person like second-tier friends (not besties).

However, I would caution surrounding having outside hangouts/"dates" and texting regularly with this person outside of scheduling in-person sessions. If you have an existing friendship, I definitely see nothing work with updating each other on more significant things you've talked about (work presentations/promotions, that new coffee shop you both wanted to try, cultural event milestones you chatted about, etc.).

Understand the dynamic you want with an FWB and be respectful of the other person's boundaries in this type of relationship. Some people just want to schedule and have sex, while some prefer some at-home dinner "date" nights before dessert, morning after breakfasts, or platonic lunches at a café outside of the platonic intimacy, too. It's all up to you both as individuals and what you're seeking from this unique type of relationship (it's personally my preference – but to each their own!).

Hope this helps xx

[sobriquett]

Dear Heart Attack Exchange 2024 Author,

Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

Write 10k in two weeks. One week to edit. Try not to die. Exchange on Dreamwidth or AO3.

I almost have two chapters of Good Hope in hand and an authorial death wish so LET'S GO

Without further ado, DNWs, likes, dislikes, fandom-specific prompts and ravings:

DNWs

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics | Anyone being called “Daddy” in a sexual context | Bestiality | Body Horror | Gore | Medical Experimentation | Mpreg | Mutilation | Non-Canonical Amputation | Porn Without Plot | Sadism | Scat | Torture | Vore

General Likes and Loves

5+1 Times | Alternate Endings | Angst | Backstory | Banter/Bickering | Bittersweet | Canon Compliant | Canon Divergence | Character Death | Character Death Aftermath | Character Study | Class Differences | Coming of Age | Competence | Complicated Sibling Relationships | Cultural Differences | Dark Fic | Debt & Financial Pressures | Despair | Disabled Characters | Domesticity | Different Worldviews | Enemies to Friends/Lovers | Epistolary | Examining Societal Issues | First Meetings | First Time | Fix-It | Fluff | Found Family | Friends/Lovers to Enemies | Grief/Mourning | Grumpy Character/Sunshine Character | Historical Details | Humour | Hurt/Comfort | Last Time | Laws of Magic | Living Up/Down to Expectations | Long-Distance Friendship | Marriage of Convenience | Miscommunication | Missing Moment | Obeying Canonical Boundaries (Social/Cultural/Moral) | Outsider POV | Parent/Child Relationships | Peril | Pining | Platonic Intimacy | Politics & Intrigue | Poor Life Choices | Post-Canon | Pre-Canon | Pregnancy & Babies | Presumed Dead | Protectiveness | Redemption | Religious Elements | Reunions | Romance | Sad Endings | Secret Relationships | Uneven Power Dynamics | Unexpected/Unlikely Friendship | Unreliable Narrators | Whump | Worldbuilding

Darkfic Likes

Apocalypse | Betrayal | Character Death | Character Death Aftermath | Claustrophobia | Conspiracy | Debt & Financial Pressures | Degradation | Disease | Dubious Consent | Dystopia | Fire | Forced Marriage | Gaslighting | Hauntings | Humiliation | Hypothermia | Infertility | Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss | Murder | Paranoia | Poisoning | Prison | PTSD | Shame | Suicide | Terminal Illness | Unhappy Endings

Smut Likes

Biting/Marking | Bondage | Canon Compliant/Historically Appropriate (esp. period fandoms) | Desperate Sex | Dirty Talk | Dubcon | Edging/Orgasm Delay | Fingering | First Times | Fisting | Foreplay | Hair Pulling/Touching/Playing | Last Times | Loss of virginity (either/both/all partners) | Oral (any/all combinations/intensities/setups) | Porn with Feelings | Power Imbalance (Physical or Social/Financial/Other) | Restraint/Held Down | Rough Sex | Semi-Public Sex | Sensual Details | Vanilla Sex

And now fandom-specific prompts in alphabetical order:

1. [Safety] A Date with Death (Visual Novel)

Grim Reaper/Main Character (A Date With Death)

I don’t know what it was about this that got in my head, but it did. Over a couple of days, I played it through until I’d seen all five endings. And weeks later I still can’t hear gentle background muzak without being straight back in this game in my head.

There are so many delicious tropes in here, even if some of the kink flavours aren’t your favourite. There are nicknames, delayed name reveals, Azrael, so much flirting, canonical soul bonding/telepathy (and explicit reference, if you choose, to that being useful for sex), starcrossed lovers, and more I can’t remember.

I am extremely curious about what on earth could happen next. If you continue your relationship beyond the bet, what happens?

Does the afterlife come looking for Grim? Does that place you or him in danger?

Does he fit into your life, your apartment? Do you need to leave it?

Spending too long in the mortal realm is bad for him, tips his soul out of balance towards light and if his soul is not balanced then he dies – so how does he/you bring back the darkness?

How does the afterlife function? Are there really nine hells, or is that blasphemy and there are, like, eight or something?

Mind bridges and soul bonding – does that become regular, routine, perhaps permanent?

What is Grim’s past? How did he become a reaper? Did he have a human life?

Perhaps follow the ending where the character becomes a reaper too, in the DLC – explore the bureaucracy, the vocation, the training, your gift/nature. Do you take an oath, live by and learn the reaper code?

First times all round, both in the relationship and in life experiences.

Themes of fate/destiny.

Use elements of the bad ending even in the good ending? I bloody love angst and peril.

And what exactly are soul babies?

One virtue of the visual novel is the extent to which you can customise your experience – character, name, pronouns, compliment style, appearance, pet, decoration, etc. I have typically played with female characters with she/her pronouns and that would be my soft preference for fic, but that’s not a hill to die on and I don’t think it’s totally out there to write a fic that can be read ambiguously – but perhaps that would be tricky to sustain for 10,000 words!

2. Bridgerton (TV)

Bridgerton (TV)

Anthony Bridgerton

Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sharma

I just kind of want to watch Anthony suffer.

I love the mix of arrogance and angst in Anthony, the gap between what he thinks his duty is and what it actually is. I love Kate’s courage and lack of taking anyone’s shit, how secure she is until she isn’t, and when she butts heads with anyone - especially Anthony. I love Anthony’s actual relationships with his siblings and the different dynamics with each of them, and I am curious to know how Kate fits in. Is she more of a friend, a sister, a mother, a mix, something different?

Bees! Consequences of the gazebo scene! Canon divergence where the show characters have a similar outcome of the bee incident to the book! The responsibilities and duties of the new viscount and viscountess (real, imagined, fun or tedious)!

Please feel extremely free to add in or build on anything in S3 Part 1, I've already seen it one and a half times and it came out 42 hours ago.

3. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte

Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre/Edward Rochester

Jane Eyre/St. John Rivers

Jane Eyre is an unreliable narrator.

This is one of my favourite novels ever, but I read a new story each time I read (or rewatch – Ruth Wilson 2006 version, yes) it. I had a different experience of it as a child, teenager, young adult, and so on – and with time, I’ve come to see Rochester as more of a villain, and then also as a victim of circumstances and a product of his environment, and to increasingly believe that Jane Eyre lies to us. She’s also every bit as prejudiced and superior as those she criticises, but/because she’s also a product of her world. But I still love her, and love that she says she got a happy ending. But that doesn’t mean it has to stay happy, or even that she was telling the truth.

This is a fandom where I particularly enjoy a darker edge, and a playful approach to the text on the author’s part. The novel is a first-person autobiography. Have fun with that! Jane Eyre is an unreliable narrator. The novel is her autobiography and I don’t believe that the story she told is necessarily the story that happened. What did she conceal? What did she tweak? What did she exaggerate or minimise? Is she trying to tell a moral story, and if so for whom? Does her faith endure and guide her quite as steadfastly, perfectly and purely as she says? I adore fics that play with this idea.

I am 100% on board with outsider POV; Jane does not need to be present if that works for the story.

Post-canon happiness?

Post-canon unhappiness?

Canon divergence at any point.

A missing moment from the engagement - an evening spent together, a walk, a trip out. Tension, anticipation, uneasiness, a sense that all’s not quite right that can’t be entirely set aside. Rochester trying to claim more affection than Jane is yet willing to give, with either a playful or darker edge.

A missing moment between the interrupted wedding and Jane fleeing Thornfield? What if they do have a night of madness before Jane flees Thornfield, where just for a moment she gives in? Or is coerced? (Dubcon over complete non-con please? Also: gloriously awful or happy consequences welcome.)

How does Rochester discover Jane’s missing? How does Adele find out? Mrs Fairfax? How do they all react? What is that day like? (Jane’s absence would almost be the character in this case. She doesn’t have to appear, she’s still the focus.)

What if Adele’s mother returned to collect her, or for some other (nefarious) purpose?

Rochester dies in the fire. What happens then?

Jane goes with St. John as a missionary and it doesn’t start/go/end well.

Does “real” Jane go with St. John as a missionary and the miraculous ending she writes to her autobiography is a fiction she wished had happened?

What if the first wedding isn’t interrupted? Rochester’s a bigamist and Jane a fallen woman when it comes out. (I have started writing this but not finished it.)

In this situation, why/how does she write her autobiography in the way that she does?

Does Jane come to see Rochester as a villain? Does she find herself corrupted, tarnished or lessened in his eyes in some way when he comes to marry/possess her and the sharper, darker side of his character turns on her once she’s off her pedestal?

Jane dies on the moors. (Shit… 5(+1) things of different ways one or both could die and the other find out/grieve? Oof, that makes my id throb, but it is not to everybody’s taste!)

Does Jane resent being Rochester’s carer, his eyes and hands?

Is Rochester “really” as injured as Jane writes in her autobiography? Did she provide some sort of divine/literary punishment for his sins? Or what really happened instead, did he get a comeuppance?

4. [SAFETY] North and South (UK TV)

John Thornton

Margaret Hale/John Thornton

I love this fandom so much. I have requested it many times before and as well as past letters there are many pretty gif sets under this tag for you to enjoy. There’s such a rich setting to explore here - time, place, convention, mores, differences in education and worldview…

I love the context of the place, the contrast between north and south, old and new, leisure and trade, masters and workers, masculinity and femininity. It’s Pride and Prejudice with higher stakes. (Although arguably there are three worlds – Margaret’s, John’s, and Higgins’.) There’s so much pride in all these characters, and they’re all looking down on each other, and then they start to understand one another.

And the longing looks, the touches. The “look back at me”. And the train scene. (About which I have Feelings. That is an inappropriate amount of PDA for 1850s England and they should be halfway down the aisle in about two and a half minutes. Also, wtf unmarried lady just getting on a train with unrelated gentleman, while not wearing a hat. Shocking stuff. Shameful. Tut tut.)

Wedding fic! How does their wedding day/night go? How do their friends and relatives behave and respond? (Particularly in the context of the show’s ending)

How do they pass their engagement? Do they have one? Do they write to one another? Do they keep finding excuses to be in one another’s company? Do they keep finding themselves alone in back drawing rooms?

Do they live with Mrs Thornton? How do they all get on?

Does something in their (very different) pasts come back to haunt them?

Does Frederick Hale return to England? What does he think of his sister’s husband? Does he impact Margaret and John’s life? Frederick is Margaret’s only living male relative, but they have only seen each other once in a decade – and illicitly at that, and an event that caused both Margaret and John great pain. Does Frederick have a say in her life? Does he think he does?

Do Margaret and John have a traditional marriage or a more equitable one in terms of ownership and management of the mill?

Is Thornton traumatised, or at least significantly affected, by the loss of the mill and his close brush with disaster? Does it colour his relationships with his mother, who he nearly failed, and his new wife who saved him, and/or his management of the mill once he owns it? Can he feel the ghost of his father’s failure and shame?

John and Hannah Thornton and Nicholas Higgins have tasted poverty – or at least true difficulty. Margaret might think she has, but she has not. Is there conflict there?

Victorian bankruptcy was a deliberate cruel, destructive, public, shameful process, designed to grind a man down to nothing at all. Does Thornton go through this, either during the novel or post-canon? Does he survive, or is he weighed down by grief and shame? He is so very conscious of his place in the world, his responsibilities to his peers, his workers, and his family. And a bankrupt man has pointedly failed in every one of these things – and it would all be so terribly, terribly public. (Very interested in stories about financial pressures/public shaming/private support.)

What if the riot goes wrong? Is one or both of them more seriously injured? Is there a disaster at the mill, or in the police response? Does the incident become even more infamous?

Disaster at the mill! Fire, accident, disease. Mills were a very, very dangerous place to work.

John and Margaret’s marriage, despite their love for one another, isn’t accepted in either the north or south. John is not the right sort of man in the eyes of Margaret’s southern friends and relatives – a manufacturer, not a gentleman, soiled by his engagement with trade and industry and direct work, and even more so because of his father’s past and suicide. Margaret is not acceptable to society in the north as an outsider who meddles where she’s not wanted, doesn’t understand their world, and represents an old world with no relevance to their new modern vision. She says the wrong thing, values the wrong things, has the wrong priorities in their eyes, took one of their most eligible men. Can they be happy in such circumstances? Society thinks, alternately, that they either married to avert scandal (which means scandal happened) or Thornton wants Margaret’s fortune (which reflects badly on him in the south and Margaret in the north).

5. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller

Achilles/Patroclus

I have just reread this for the first time in eight years, and I was just as emotionally wrecked at the end. It remains probably the most intense reading experience of my life, indisputably in the top three. I could talk for hours about the narrative voice, the imagery, the fucking ending because I knew absolutely nothing about Patroclus in 2016 and when my then-partner walked into the room just as, you know that bit, I literally threw something to get them to go away.

Could you please jab me sharply in the feels again, if you can? Whether that’s joy or angst or longing, the this and this and this motif, or… or anything. I’m in love and mourning; it won’t be hard.

This is not a fandom where I am at all bothered about smut but sprinkle it in if that’s your jam – just please note my DNW for porn without plot.

More with Briseis!

Fuck Pyrrhus with a really big stick – a narrative one if you like.

Post-canon… somehow?

Canon divergence – a happy ending? A return to Chiron? Growing old together?

In the Iliad, Achilles has a choice to gain glory and die young or live a long, uneventful obscure life – what if he had chosen the latter?

Missing scenes at Phthia, Pelion, the camp?

More/other/different prophecy?

[diarrheaworldstarhiphop]

Hey prat ready for a pathetic ask? I’ve followed you since ancient times, the 2000s. When I was a wee teen you were in your early 20s I think, I used to admire all the partying and wish I could join a group like adventurecru. Anyways as the fandom has evolved its become pretty intolerable and not fun. I find myself between prudish vampires eager to eat their own and more laid back folk who are too laid back when actual abuse is happening. Where do I make friends, are there any people worth meeting in fandom anymore? I figure you stick with people you’ve known for years, not sure if I can find that anymore now. Does it feel different at cons and the chronically online people are just very loud?

it's always been that way, im afraid. Only difference is that back then, the prudish twitter callout folks were posting doxx on dramachan, lulz.net and encyclopedia dramatica.

Due to always being that way, adventurecru was functionally a sort of beacon for like minded folks to come be rowdy and find that sort of community. Many people viscerally rejected and hated it, you can find alot of rancid gossip and slander in places like kiwifarms even still, today, about some furries' regard for adventurecru.

i think as a teenager you kind of were oblivious but thats okay, same lol.

Where do I make friends, are there any people worth meeting in fandom anymore?

Anywhere, on twitter mostly. But also at cons. like find one guy or pal you know from only and seek them out and roll up folks from there or just.. get rolled into other things. Sometimes I would go to cons wearing wacky meme costumes and got attention and made friends that way. just "bee" yourself

Does it feel different at cons and the chronically online people are just very loud?

If you mean if things have changed at the cons like, vibes wise: It does, but for reasons relating to aging. Like I think in my 30s i see alot more folks in my circles kind of seeking platonic sexual intimacy but Idk if thats a 30s thing or people's priorities and needs changing post-pandemic lockdown. I feel in your 20s as a socially isolated nerd or queer, there's an impetus to go crazy, get stupid like in a rowdy frat way. People do get their fill of that and mature out of it.

But if you mean like, if cons are a different vibes from the vibes online? Absolutely. I think online folks who spend all day muck-raking in the scene are shut-in boring losers and everyone IRL at cons are chill. I've even bumped into such sort of loud haters in person and instantly made friends with them. I think online spaces cultivate a sort of culture of hostility (see: engagement algorithms) that simply doesn't exist irl.

[finishwhatyoustarted-event]

Finished It Friday - November 3

The final Finished it Friday! Congratulations on making it through this event! Here are the works completed in this last week (and a few that were finished earlier in the event that I only just caught).

Twitter thread here

Fiber Crafts

This friendship bracelet by LetoLeGaosaure on pillowfort

Writing

Beware The Boes! by Ginneke

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask - Link & Tatl (Legend of Zelda) - Mild Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Zinefic, Tatl POV, Playing with monster lore - Rated T "The only scary thing about Boes is not knowing when they're there. Right? Right. Tatl would like to think so… -- Written for the Faces of Evil zine, vol. 7: The Small."

To Catch the Wind by ForestWren

tumblr post - The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien - Background Fëanor Curufinwë/Nerdanel - Character Study - Rated G "In which Fëanáro begins to invent the Tengwar."

It's Just Like Falling Snow (I am Above You, and I Love You) by ForestWren

tumblr post - Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Andor (TV) - Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Maarva Andor & Cassian Andor, Cassian Andor & His Various Friends and Family - Major Character Death (tagged as a warning), Found Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Afterlife - Rated G "Cassian dies. What comes next is far less lonely than he expects."

Let's be called 'Romeo and Juliet' by sasuhina_gal

Naruto - Hyuuga Hinata/Uchiha Sasuke - Modern Royalty, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Real Feelings - Rated T "It's the story that shook the country of Konoha. It stunned, it amazed, it made the king so incredibly happy. The Heiress of the Hyuuga Family and Second son of the Uchiha family had fallen in love! But it was just a trick to annoy their families. Isn't it?"

Who wouldn't want Hollows and Shinigami living in harmony? Right? by Mysticalbeingwithuntoldpowers

Bleach (Anime & Manga) - Roka Paramia/Tessai Tsukabishi, Aizen Sousuke/Kurosaki Ichigo - Soul King Kurosaki Ichigo, Mystery, Established Relationship Ichigo/Sousuke, Politics - Rated G "Roka Paramia, ambassador for Queen Harribel, was determined to make her speech in front of Central a successful one, a lot depended on her. Unfortunately, even the best laid plan can't predict everything. How dare someone interrupted the most crucial moment of the peace talks with an anonymous laser beam to her face. And why did the King saddled her with an overprotective seven foot giant that was way too perceptive for her own good?"

Flowers from your Beloathed by Ginneke

tumblr post - The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - Link/Revali - Pre-Calamity, Cultural Differences, Flower Language, Misunderstandings, Crack Treated Seriously, Very Mild Innuendo, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Injuries - Rated T "Revali starts finding flowers from an unwanted admirer — or the country’s most inept assassin. With Urbosa’s help, he’ll never figure out what’s going on. Meanwhile, Link is put in charge of figuring out exactly where the tokens | threats keep coming from…"

Hypotenuse by LetoLeGaosaure

NSFW - Lobotomy Corporation (Video Game) - Benjamin/Carmen (Lobotomy Corporation), Ayin/Benjamin/Carmen (Lobotomy Corporation) (two thirds of this are one-sided) - Friends With Benefits, Pining, One-Sided Relationship, Fluff, Platonic Cuddling, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sexual Roleplay, Roleplayed Polyamory, Anal Fingering, Penis In Vagina Sex - Rated E "Benjamin never thought he'd get close to Carmen like this. Well, of course everyone was friends with Carmen. But… this was… something else. And the most ironic part in all of this was that it was entirely Ayin's fault, and he was totally clueless. Of course."

Run to you by sasuhina_gal

NSFW, CW: sibling incest - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) - Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Todoroki Shouto, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Shinsou Hitoshi, Mentioned Enji/Keigo - Mutual Pining, One-Sided Attraction, suggested voyeurism, Aizawa and Shinso are brothers, Alternate Universe - College/University - Rated M "Touya and Shouta, roommates in college, share something in common, their love for their little brothers. They know they'll live in self-disgust, never expecting it to go anywhere, but they'll realise there's a reason their their brother's safe space."

In ictu oculi by heysaintjude (86V50_vc)

Ristorante Paradiso - Gabriella/Santo Claudio Paradiso - Free Verse, Coffee, Canon - Anime, Poetry - Rated T ““Time only stops for the dead, Claudio.””

Cooking with Liu-shishu by Ilthit

Dreamwidth post - NSFW - 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù - Liǔ Qīnggē/Luò Bīnghé - Smut, Dom/sub, Object Penetration, Food Kink, pain play, Sadomasochism, Bondage, Consent Play - Rated E “Binghe really cannot have people coming into his kitchen and interrupting his cooking. A lesson will have to be given from shizhi to shishu in both politeness and in--relaxation.”

Fix Your Collar by Ilthit

Dreamwidth post - NSFW - 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù - Bites & Bruises, Daydreaming, Post-Canon, background Bingqiu - Rated E “Shang Qinghua's imagination runs away with him a little at a meeting of the peak lords.”

One Basket by Ilthit

Dreamwidth post - NSFW - 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòběi-jūn/Shàng Qīnghuá - Oviposition, Smut, Temperature Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Size Difference - Rated E “Mobei-jun needs to lay his eggs. Airplane wrote this porny plot device himself, so he will take responsibility.”

Shizun and Shizun and Their Little Kitten Bingmei by Ilthit

Dreamwidth post - NSFW - 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Luò Bīnghé/Shěn Jiǔ | Original Shěn Qīngqiū, Luò Bīnghé/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū - Gags, Crossdressing Kink, Cock & Ball Torture, Master/Disciple Relationship, Established Relationship, Face Slapping, Feminization, foreground Bingjiu, Background Bingqiu - Rated E “There is no context or explanation, only giving Binghe everything his heart desires.”

Escape Clause by Ilthit

Dreamwidth post - NSFW - 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Shàng Qīnghuá/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū - Alternate Universe, No transmigration, Drunk Sex, Internalized Homophobia, Casual Sex, Lingerie, Denial - Rated M “Just bros being bros, gunning shots and going down.”

[gen1920]

Has the social significance of lip gloss dialed down since the 90's?

I was looking through some op-eds to do my rhetorical analysis on for my rhetoric class, when I stumbled upon Jessica Bennett's “Meghan Markle, Kate Middleton and…Lip Gloss?” published on The New York Times. The op-ed started out with Jessica Bennett explaining how she even thought of talking about the Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton fiasco.

To give a little recap to those who do not know what went down in 2018, Meghan Markle during a royal event forgot to bring her lip gloss and asked her sister-in-law, Kate Middleton, if she could borrow some of her lip gloss. Kate Middleton apparently made a face and hesitated to allow Meghan to borrow her lip gloss. According to Prince Harry, Kate reacted this way because sharing your lip gloss is an "American thing."

So what exactly is so American about sharing our lip gloss? In Jessica Bennett's op-ed, she touches on how her experiences growing up in the 90's helps her give insight on why Meghan Markle (someone who was born and raised in California) would ask to use Kate's lip gloss.

In Bennett's op-ed, she goes into detail about her lip gloss experience in the 90's and how lip gloss effected her social life along with other girls from that time. She goes on to say "I used vanilla lip gloss that was in a big tub, and I genuinely think it raised my social status,” one 40-something friend told me." The rest of the article goes onto heavy detail about different lip gloss flavors and stories of how lip gloss was shared in the 90's in order to rank yourself and your friends in your own social hierarchy which was mentioned in the article, "Lip gloss was more than makeup; it was a tool for discerning your place in the social hierarchy. Girls you’d share your lip gloss with: those were your ride-or-dies. " By the end of the article Bennett, although justifying Meghan asking for the lip gloss due to their shared social norm of sharing lip gloss, tries to justify the hesitation of Kate when asked to share something like lip gloss when she adds "We’re all adults now and perhaps have more respect for hygiene than we once did..."

My question is if in present American culture, sharing lip gloss is a taboo? Something left in the 90's for millennials to reminisce? I decided to take on the same approach as Bennett's in her op-ed in order to give millennials an inside scoop of how lip gloss is used in present times.

I graduated high school a year ago, therefore a lot of my lip gloss wearing and sharing days is far from over. I wasn't one of those girls who loved to wear makeup to school, in fact it wasn't until recently that I started to actively try and go buy myself some makeup. The sticky and thick consistency that many lip glosses have really bothered me, and I HATED pulling the little strands of hair that would get trapped in a layer of gloss on my lips at random moments through the day. Regardless of whether I wore it often or not, I was always surrounded by friends who kept a little tube of lip gloss in their pencil pouch in case they or any of their friends wanted to enhance their lips throughout the day. Lip gloss although popularized in the 90's by millennials, never really stopped being a sign of platonic intimacy for many gen-z kids. Even when I was growing up, my mom would buy my sister and I the roll on lip smackers and kid makeup sets to share. I even have a picture of my sister and I doing my mom's makeup with one of these kits. Sharing make-up seems to be something a lot of gen-z kids grew up seeing, especially those with older siblings. In present times, as a 19 year old I still share my lip products (lip liners, lipsticks, and lip glosses) with my friends and family members whenever they need to. In fact, my mom uses my lip glosses without telling me first, because there is certain amount of trust that and connection when sharing your makeup with someone. Lip gloss, is still one of the most used and beloved makeup products to date, and I don't see the effects that it has had in many teens' social hierarchies changing any time soon. While I give the 80's and 90's teens their credit for making lip gloss popular, us gen-z kids carry on the importance of lip gloss with us throughout our high school lives.

[dragimal]

I've been a huge fan of omegaverse/ABO for over a decade, it's my time to shine!! and feel free to include my username if you read any of this out, I don't mind

I think I was initially drawn to the biological power dynamics, as I usually like ship/porn fics with a strong sense of "dom/sub", but ABO has the added twist of a kind of "inborn" hierarchy system. I think, as an ace, I like the idea of just "knowing" what role you'd play in a sexual encounter and not having to flounder or think too much about it. sitting back and letting your "instincts" guide you towards a good time sounds great and completely unlike any sexual experience I've ever had, lmao.

this overlaps with the aspect of vulnerability, which I think draws a lot of people in (including me!). there's something to the idea of being reduced to a weak and scared and maybe even mindless thing by your own body, and not being judged for it, but instead taken care of through it all. or the idea of a partner turning a dreaded hormonal surge into a fun, sexy, or relaxing bonding experience... sure wish real life could be so nice!

there's also the "animalistic" angle, which I absolutely LOVE as a xeno/monster-fucker, and a fan of pet play and pred/prey dynamics. of course, most ABO (that I've read, at least) isn't necessarily about werewolves/creatures. but the fics that dip into non-typical/non-human behavior still scratch that same itch, even if the characters are still physically human. obviously nonhuman traits (like hybrid AUs) are a plus, but I honestly find behavior more interesting and attractive than physical features. I guess it's the difference between a wolf furry and werewolf-- the behaviorally "animalistic" werewolf is always gonna be the hotter one, to me.

and I know ABO is mostly known for the porn aspects, but some of my fave aspects are the non-sexual intimacy and non-typical bonding. like, the overt tactile affection (nuzzling, cuddling, nesting), and even the nebulous scent-based bonding (recognizing a partner's 'special scent', nonverbally communicating via scent, etc.). it just... it's all so tender and loving, I can't help but crave it myself. maybe it's the ace in me again, but I love the platonic intimacy of it all.

and if I'm allowed to engage in a bit of armchair psychology/sociology, I think there's an element of ABO that's just a bit touch-starved. the fact that platonic "pack dynamics" have become a such a huge aspect of ABO fics in recent years really tells me that many people are here for more than just the porn, y'know? like, this post has crossed my dash a few times, and it's definitely funny, but it also makes me a little sad that ppl think they can't have a "nest" as a human. I mean, zoologically, many primates make nests, and our beds are already nests, so it's not like it's atypical behavior. but there's shame in craving that comfort and intimacy, and I think ABO is just "nonhuman" enough to excuse that "shameful" behavior for some people. idk, maybe I'm projecting my own touch-starvation on other fans, but I feel like a lot more ppl would enjoy ABO if they knew about gen pack dynamics. come, take my hand, we're all touch-starved on this bitch of a socially isolated, capitalist hellscape, let's build a nest together <3

I'll also say, as a bio grad and specevo fan, I really appreciate the fics that go the extra mile on biological or cultural worldbuilding. I most enjoy the takes that classify the statuses more by hormones/behavior than physical genitalia-- whether the genitals are like real-life humans, or uniformly "unisex". more of a "ruff bird" approach, if you know anything about their mating behavior.

as for what turns me off about ABO... I'll admit I'm not a huge fan of mpreg, but I'm just not big on pregnancy or kidfics in general. I don't hate it, and I've even read some I've liked, but it's just not what I'm there for. which is funny, bc it feels like that's the one thing anyone outside of fandom even knows about ABO, lmao.

anyways, here's some fic recs!

The Rites of Courtship: Voltron: Legendary Defender fic. it may be incorrect to call this "ABO" because this is really just intense alien worldbuilding, but I think the alien genders and mating/courtship overlap with ABO in similar ways. if nothing else, this is what I mean when I say I love xeno and specevo in fic-- if "Quad-sexed Ovoviviparous Marsupial Galra" doesn't sound cool to you, idk what would.

Territory, Voice, and Choice: A Case Study in Isolated Societies of Desert Biomes: Night Vale fic. rly fun biological/cultural worldbuilding in this one, especially when we see it from the outside perspective of "normal human" Carlos, gradually developing a status when he comes to Night Vale. also love his scientific perspective on it all, lmao.

Triangle series: My Hero Academia fic. interesting cultural worldbuilding in this one-- I like the idea of a "triad" of all three statuses being sought after. and the fact that the statuses are hormonal rather than physical means you get some unique cultural ideas, like male omegas being considered genetic "dead ends".

and when i go to leave again i'll wear the clothes you put me in: Osomatsu-san fic. one of my fave examples of an intimate, platonic, "pack dynamics" fic. the tenderness of it all AUGH.

In The Year Of The Wolf: Free! fic. I admit that it's been a veryyy long time since I've read this one, but I remember it having interesting character/pack dynamics. and it's about werewolves, which is always a bonus.

Hung The Moon: Teen Wolf fic. still a ship fic, but there's lots of fun pack dynamics/politics and platonic bonding in this one.

Omegaverse readers & writers!! I want to hear from you!!!

Firstly — Yes — I have already done a lot of research. I don’t need the basics explained to me or the fact that it is an incredibly diverse genre with examples good writing, bad writing, good social commentary, bad social commentary, expansive thoughtful worldbulding, raunchy porn without plot, and everything in between.

What I’m looking for with this post is personal experiences and opinions from people who read/ write this content since I am not one. Feel free to link any fics that exemplify what you’re talking about.

you can write as much or as little as you like, answer as many or as few of the questions as you like:

What fandom introduced you to omegaverse?

What trends and developments have you noticed as the genre has grown over the past 14-ish years?

what initially intrigued you about it?

Are there similar genres, tropes, etc, that you also enjoy? (ie. werewolf or other supernatural romance, science fiction which explores alternative biology) basically, how does omegaverse fit into your wider literary tastes?

what do enjoy most about it?

what are some elements you avoid or are critical of?

Any specifics or nuances you want the non-omegaverse reading public to know about

In case anyone is coming across this post without knowing who i am — Hi! I’m a youtuber and I make videos about online subculture, fandom, and such.

Your comment on this post may be read aloud in an upcoming video!! Please specify if you would like me to censor your url or leave it visible.