#i know i want to take psychology
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This poll is a joke by the way, I don't plan on basing something that could make my entire future on a tumblr poll.
#polls#i know i want to take psychology#but i don't know about my other two options#i like all of the subjects there but...#i don't know if I'm a good enough programmer to take computer science#i enjoy maths physics and chemistry#but i can't take all 3 unless i don't do psychology#why do I have to decide things#why can't i just sit in a classroom and learn everything there is to learn ever#a levels
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My ocs, Sir and Ser, aka the eldritch malevolent policemen 😔
#art#my art#oc#original characters#basically Sir came into existence during Russian empire#when the table of ranks was in its full power#so he is really competetive and individualistic#and sneaky in his misconducts#Ser came to existence during USSR#he is a perfect soviet picture of a police fugure that gone wrong#but at least he is more determined to adapt to the world changing#because he really wants to be a part of the community (you know... communism)#because of the same reason he follows Sir around#at first Sir despised him#bc the last thing that you wanted during the table of ranks historical period is for someone to take the higher place than you in hierarchy#and Ser WAS “created” to replace Sir#but in the end they both became the remnants of the past#so they mutually grew on each other#i have like...a whole story segment about them psychologically torturing one of my protagonists#but I cant help myself and draw some silly arts with them when the mood strikes#tfsg
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Another Otsutsuki?!
we’re messing up the timeline for this one. (I lost this crack idea but then it came back… the abyss stare back and I jumped in.)
anyways, now some kids meeting the new kid
Panel 1: There’s something wrong here.

Comic 1: Attention.


they’re both in the same boat
Comic 2: Day Off (with confusion.)



he just a little insecure,, (kakashi still told him to get it together)
back to the future now
Comic 3: What. (huh?)


Panel 2: very tiny.

#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#obito uchiha#rin nohara#toneri otsutsuki#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#creating silly posts pumps my brain#kid obito had immediately had distrust of the new kid#and couldn’t even explain why so he stood there glaring#obito looks at kakashi 20 years later after Toneri admits defeat with “I TOLD you he’s was weird“#kakashi after getting back to earth promptly puts obito in jail#ALSO when I saw Toneri for the first time his design is so neat!#I haven’t watched the movie so I read the description of the guy to have an idea of him#what I got is that Toneri is unhinged too ANYWAYS moving on#Toneri ends up noticing Kakashi white chakra and follows him with curiosity#Kakashi’s ends up choosing not to be jerk lets him stick around as long as he isn’t in the way#toneri takes a bit of insult because even if he’s missing eyes he’s definitely not weak#so showing some skills without destroying his disguise he ends up impressing kakashi#while kakashi talks with him and offering advice and asking him if he wants yo try anything else#he doesn’t know but Toneri immediately in his mind claims kakashi has his#this post could’ve absolutely gone from silly to psychological horror#like real quick haha#imagine the joke was just kakashi going through more issues 😭 the punchline is that there isn’t one
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How many people witnessed softie food addict horror who needed something in his mouth or he would actively kill and turn to cannibalism 🧍♀️ or was that just me.... anyways honestly it was silly.. he'd maybe get along with cook horror... I just like fanon crossovers guys*sadge
Anyways canon horror is also silly(really silly. What an asshole, man)(no seriously he's actually such an asshole.. I might love him for that but-) I don't think he would get along with the others(loser)
#me when I acknowledge as many sides of an argument as possible which just makes me confused because I am trying to take off of other people#but they're so diverse that I can't mix all of it and so I don't know how to interpret any characters anymore and what makes it worse is my#ahh not actually understanding people or relationships because I got minimum emotions maximum carelessness but I also love emotions so I#love the psychological torture of all of this but I also don't understand it so I'm depending on everyone else but yet again they're so#mixed I get confused and I don't know how to deal with any of it so I'm just here standing confused screaming in my own mind as I try to#understand how to make it all work together and then#....#Jesus fuck#sans au#utmv#undertale au#horrortale#horror sans#UwU#anyways disregard any ideas I may have ever because they will always change and I don't know what to do anymore.......#bro I'm boutta resort to Wattpad fics.... get ready for Wattpad highschool fic😼/j#I want to do that but I lost my fluidity in writing sighs...#I never graduated from Wattpad sorry guys😔#I didn't do that well drawing canon horror tbh but it'll have to do
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Ooohh! Late night (maybe secret) milk and cookies fresh from the oven! 🍪🥛🍼
ooooh i love the idea of this.... and not just because i made milk & cookies tonight!!
maybe its past your bedtime but daddy hasn't turned off the tv yet, he can sense that you're just not tired yet, and not in a good way either. most nights when you stay up late its because you're far too energized to sleep, running and skipping and dancing around the house insisting you don't need to rest, until next thing you know you're half asleep being carried into daddy's bed... but tonight you're just angsty. you already had your nighttime bottle, you've been cuddling with your stuffy while a calm cartoon plays, but your brain is elsewhere, half small and half spaced out.
then you hear the oven beep on.
"come here angel, i got a surprise"
daddy takes a packet of cookie dough from the back of the fridge, high up on the top shelf where you can't even reach. he puts two squares on a metal sheet, one for him and one for you.
"don't tell... but these are dada's magic cookies. sometimes when you're already asleep, daddy makes a special cookie before bed as a little treat... maybe they'll work for you too!"
cookies are one thing, but a magic cookie? and right before bed?? you couldn't believe how quickly your night was turning around. your sour mood dissipates as the kitchen fills with the smell of sugar. daddy pours another bottle for you to wash down your cookie, and your tummy feels just as warm as your heart as daddy rocks you to sleep.
#ambiguous cg how do we feel about it.....#wanted to try writing something that any/everybody could read regardless of fandom lol idk let me know#also i just wanna clarify that its not intended to be any sort of substance in the cookie#(but if you wanna take it as that then by all means go for it. consensually!!!)#in my mind its just a little bit of pretend magic/reverse psychology to help baby sleep lol#little!reader#c#agere fic#bucky x little!reader#steve rogers x little!reader#steve harrington x little!reader#eddie munson x little!reader
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Hello! Can I just say that I really appreciate you doing this? I've always been a big fan of your analyses and your ability to get to the root of the characters. Thank you for continuing to let us read your wonderful thoughts and stories.
On your old blog, you discussed your headcannons for Lyney, one being his tendency to forget things like where he put his wallet because him and his mind are very busy. Unfortunately, I didn't save the post (my biggest regret ahhhhh!) and I would love to read your analysis once more. If it's okay with you, could you go over your headcannons for Lyney again? The old, the new, whatever's on your mind and whatever you're willing to share. Thank you so much!
Thank you for the kind ask, anon! Here you go!
New Lyney Headcanons
Self-focused - Though he never seems like it, those that know Lyney well know that he’s often running low on sleep. And really, he has no one to blame but himself. During the day he’s often distracted with magic shows, helping people, little tasks around the hotel, running missions for Father, and much more. And at night? He can often be found alone in his room planning new tricks, arranging missions for his siblings, studying to become the next “king” of the House, and things of the sort. If Lynette and Freminet didn’t keep an eye on him, no doubt he would stay up the whole night if given the chance! Those two welcome all the help they can get.
Relationship-focused - When it comes to his relationship with you, Lyney never lies. You know he would never do that to you. And sometimes, the knowledge almost lulls you into a false sense of security. Yet you know better. You’re smarter than that. Where Lyney doesn’t lie, he omits. Half-truths so easily fall from his mouth as drops of rain from the sky. Your comments of concern are often brushed off and your questions redirected. As much as you try, you know the truth. He doesn’t want you to know. He doesn’t want you to shoulder his burdens with him.
old lyney headcanons below!
Would Lyney be honest with you?
With his outgoing and fun personality, it oftentimes is easy to get caught within his flow. Lyney is the charming sort, after all, that one may very well forget that he is subject to the same struggles as the rest. Get to know him well enough, though, and you will quickly realize that this is not a fact he wishes others to know. More than a desire, he needs to be seen as someone in control, as someone without weakness. That’s his role as the big brother. And if that means lying, avoiding, and omitting the truth to accomplish it, then an accomplished performer like himself will do what he must.
Does Lyney prefer to pursue or be pursued?
With a penchant for flair and dramatics, it’s clear to see Lyney prefers to pursue the people he’s interested in. Really, it’s one of the things he goes all out. With a trick up his sleeve, he won’t hesitate to dazzle you with flowers pulled from nowhere and fireworks from his tophat. He wants you to be enchanted. He wants you to be impressed! You are, aren’t you? You like it, don’t you? So focused on charming you that he often loses sight of much else. Fun fact, should you attempt to turn the tables, however, you can expect his mask of self-confidence to fall to reveal a rather flustered expression beneath.
Headcanons
Self-focused - If there’s one thing that’s true about Lyney, it is that he is a very busy person. As a person with multiple masks and roles, his thoughts are often preoccupied with House missions, performances, new tricks, and things of the like. So, much to the dismay of others, it’s easy for things to become buried under the multitude of other tasks he needs to take care of. How often the simple things become forgotten—where he last left his wallet, tea time with his siblings, the sale on storybooks at the bookstore. During those times, he really can’t help but appreciate his siblings and their ability to keep him on track. Really, he doesn’t know what he’d do without them!
Relationship-focused - It doesn’t hit you at first, but it doesn’t take you very long to notice how hard Lyney tries for your relationship. Normally this would be a good thing, but it is different with Lyney. Every day he tries to charm you. Every day he attempts to enchant you. You tell him he doesn’t need to try so hard, but that only seems to light a fire beneath him to do even more. You see it in his eyes. He needs to know you are still in awe of him, that you like him as much as he does you. And then it sinks in, doesn’t it? He doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t trust your feelings for him. He’ll never show his true face to you.
old tags for this post: #okay let’s talk lyney for a bit i think the biggest thing to know about lyney is that at his core he is an insecure person insecure and anxious #imo he’s extremely attached to his title of ‘big brother’ that he needs to fulfill the duties if such he needs to protect his siblings and be a person others can rely on #this belief is so strong that he refuses to rely on arlecchino for help and snaps at freminet for trying to get him to open up #he really cares about the way he’s perceived #remember when the traveler found out he’s part of the fatui and he spends his time bending over backwards to try to get them to trust him ‘like me! like me! please. i’m trustworthy i’ll never lie to you please!!’ #honestly imo that’s just one if his faults like lyney is unstable #idk what possessed arlecchino to make him her successor like he’d crack under pressure #lynette is a way better option #but anyway bc of these things he would not trust his partner in a relationship #he wouldn’t rely on them he’d never feel secure which would prompt him to keep trying too hard to ensure he’s still the person he thinks you fell in love with #the most important thing to remember with lyney is that he is a performer and the face he shows to the world is essentially a mask
What’s Lyney’s breaking point in a relationship?
It’s hard to imagine, really. With how much Lyney may seem in love, the idea there’s a point a relationship would be too much for him is hard to believe. But when you really think about it, his breaking point is simple. As strong as his feelings may be for you, his devotion to his family and its cause outweighs everything else. Should your relationship with him ever reach a time where it encroaches upon that which is the most precious to him, then there’s nothing more he can do than let you go.
old tags for this post: #i think the key thing to take in here is that lyney cannot function without his family he is extremely reliant upon them to the extent that he will become unstable without them #just look at the archon quest when wriothesley captured his siblings any and all logic completely went out the window #lyney is an anxious insecure mess and the only thing that holds him together is playing the role he has to as big brother #if your relationship with him ever reaches the point that you transcend into being counted as his family.... he will have no breaking point #the breaking point will be his mind or body. whichever breaks first
#genshin impact#lyney#lyney x reader#ekolu.headcanons#genshin x reader#okay sorry i didn't want to ramble in the body of the post but thank you for the kind message anon!!!!#i hope you don't mind me posting all of the old lyney headcanon asks down below#i was about to apologize for my headcanons being more on the psychology side but i'm glad you don't mind haha#idk how to make things more romantic#lyney is a really special case#enneagram wise when you look at lyney he seems like the kind of person that would be ruled by fear but it's actually shame#like i said in one of my old tags lyney is very attached to his self-proclaimed role of 'big brother'#in his attempt to convince OTHERS (not himself) that he's a good older brother he becomes anxious and controlling#my brain tells me that he's a 2w3 but my heart is telling me 3w2 LOL#with the way he disintegrates it is definitely more 2 focused#funny thing about lyney though#one point i wanted to make out with the self-focused headcanon is that while lyney does seem like he's always on the move personally like..#i think he does take time for himself#granted the time he takes for himself isn't necessarily to reflect and work through his emotions and anxieties#but he does take time for himself#he seems like the kind of guy that needs a certain amount of alone time at the end of the day#and sorry my lyney headcanons are never very romantic.... lyney is a very........ he's very young and immature#i don't think a relationship is the best thing for him where he is in his life right now. i think he needs to grow more#calm down a bit you know?
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Jimmy killing himself because he knows he is incapable of living an life without Curly and knows that in the miracle chance they were found and saved they would not let him have contact with Curly and he hates the idea he'd actually have to take responsibility.
Even if he lied, its only a matter of time before Curly is capable of showing or telling what a monster he really is, no matter what delusions tell Jimmy Curly would never do that to him.
He understands that he was the monster in everyone's worse moments but refused to accept that at the end. So he made sure that he died without the possibility of it being actualized as he's the only one that saw death as an escape rather than a release. Jimmy truly didn't believe Curly had anything to escape from even after everything and let him have what he perceived as glory as the sole survivor and thus Captain of the Tulpar.
#like he goes from knowing the the system in place ergo Curly will protect him from consequence even if unitentionally at first which#motivates him to take the measures he does but when that system also loses the ability to effectively stop him he drags the corpse around#like a memento of what he's achieved that slowly warps into a worship as he realizes how much it actually did and that even he struggles#without it cause i believe in light of the crash that the thought of losing Curly's unwavering support because he'd eventually protect Anya#over him when Curly's head was yanked from the clouds at either the baby's birth or just the way he was slowly putting things together as#the big picture became less appealing to look at like Curly was slowly realizing it and i think he knew at the crash scene but it was too#late if he stopped Jimmy or the crash their relationship would've forever been changed by the revalation and part of me wants like a dlc#spin off that deals with some psychological metaphorical horror dealing with that but also like I need jimmy dead.#then again none of this is new or even unique ive seen this explained but i also dont think its addressed that Jimmy's refusal to take#responsibility with Anya avoiding it A N D his envious codependency of Curly made him crash the Tulpar as there was not a way he could fix#the what he did to Anya in his mind without getting rid of her and or the pregnancy in a way that Curly wouldn't leave him and thats so#important like he only viewed Anya through his relationship with Curly and hed rather die than acknowledge her as a person and his assult#on her as something that could realistically get in the way of their relationship and taking advantage of it.#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#i hate talking about this dick fuck but he also is like being fascinated by a venomous spider like stay away but i will study you
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Yeah I think I'll just make a separate blog for this stuff now... but in the meantime!
Look! It's a kid! They're having fun! They have their tongue out! They're winking! They're being silly!
Surely nothing bad would happen to them, right?
...
You wouldn't hurt them, would you?
...
Would you?
Would you hurt them?
Are you sure you wouldn't?
W O U L D Y O U ?
W H Y ' D . . . Y O U . . . D O . . . I T . . . ?
Anyways! Credit to @howlonomy once again! I hope you enjoyed... whatever the fuck this is!
#undertale yellow#uty#undertale yellow clover#uty clover#pixel art#ok look. this was the only way i could justify (heh) showing these at the same time#i think i pulled it off well with the unsettling feeling#oh right. design elements for the clovers#fun fact. they take from their moms from the original au in both versions of their pose#the ceroba stuff is incredibly obvious#yes they have their arm in front of them like their genocide variant#but its more of like a chest bump meaning/vibe here#instead of the 'i want to [freak]ing kill you' vibe of the other#because this is just a friendly spar! theyre not here to kill you!#and martlets is really only the right arm#specifically HER right arm in her snowdin fights#i plan on having their geno right arm move just like hers :]#the is a subconscious thing from them btw. having three people contribute to your new body/dna does that to ya#the only thing from star in battle animations is when they take out their gun#they do a little gun spin before pointing it at you#that or just take it out when they... well saying that would be a bit of a spoiler#i have so many plans for animations#and as for corrupted clover...#if you look closely. they have an evil grin!#because you know how flowey is with his psychological torture#the random lines are vines because flowey tries/tried to control them#and the droopy stuff is... well...#lets just say... these siblings are alike in more ways than either of them know =)#we love giving kids deep and long lasting trauma that even therapy cant help <3#oh. and the eye being stationary and the soul are just cuz i thought itd be cool :]
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guys the very cute guy at the local dispensary was …. *deep ragged breath* calling me baby? like multiple times and . ……. okay maybe i just have a dirty mind but he was just saying all the right things and i’m tempted to walk back over there and be like
“what are we……? bc you lowkey talked me through it while i was trying to buy a vape and you can’t really be that patient and attentive AND call me baby AND make me laugh like what is your name and your number 🤨 like right now 🤨”
#mind you this interaction happened hours ago#but i#literally keep thinking abt it bc i always thought he was cute#and he was always like a little more pleasant than your average straight man that’s uninterested#so it was lowkey giving he thinks i’m#cute …. 😌#then when i go in today……………… he’s calling me baby#he also very much wiggled his eyebrows at me when he first greeted me but that.#from a psychological perspective could have just been of recognition#BUT THEN. when im looking at the vape flavors.#they were too far and too small to read without my glasses so i kinda . started to huff and whine very quietly#BC I WAS STRAINING MY VISION AND I WAS WORRIED I WAS TAKING TOO LOMG#so THEN he goes ‘what’s wrong hm?’ THE HM??? I LOVE THE HM IDK WHY#THEN I GO ‘i don’t know which one to get 😞’#and he goes ‘what do you want? talk to me baby’ and .#it may have awakened something in me … namely the brat#BC I STARTED WHINING THAT I COULDNT READ THE LABELS and he laughed and he goes ‘you want me to#read em to you?’ and i was like 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️👍👍👍 yes get to it pleASE#so he’s pointing and reading them out loud and he gets to the second to last one and he reads it out and WHIPS his head around and stares#at me with the very obvious ‘i think you should get that one’ face#and then i burst out laughing and he laughed and now#i’m#in love.#.txt#actually this may have inspired me. gtg
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I need to stop lookjng at the Longlegs tag cause it’s mentally scarring me each time I see another person talking about wanting to fuck Longlegs
Edit: okay quick thing I don’t mind that y’all like him it’s Nic cage for gods sake. I’m more talking about how detailed some of this stuff is.
Just not for me.
#like cool I guess#but their SO DETAILED#I take -10 psychological damage each time I see a new person talking about this#but you know y’all do hate her you want#wait what the fuck#I didn’t write that#I meant to write ‘but y’all can do whatever you want’#I don’t know why that autocorrected to that#anyways#Longlegs#longlegs 2024#Nic cage#like it’s scarier than the movie at this point
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"From triumph to failure is but one step."
+ the usual
I love when I can include paper sketches in the process gif. It's very satisfying to see it progress from a very vague imagining of what was in my head to the finished project.
+ version without text

My favorite sketch was definitely the one where I actually put in words what it's supposed to convey. I wouldn't usually write that down, cause it's all in my head, but it was useful to do so when sending it to other people. I'll go into it more but here it is just as a teaser:

Lmao first of all, I like how I was teasing "Spanish GP" art, but as per usual, it's just thinly veiled au art. IM SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING GENERAL POSTERS, THAT'S NO FUN! So instead you will get weirdly relevant matador au art. I like it a lot though, I was really shocked I was able to draw 3 different Fernandos, I mean even drawing one figure takes a lot out of me, but this was weirdly easy?? I think it's just the effect of not being burnt out anymore, and actually being able to draw with more ease makes me feel like a god.
Okay, so the text: "Fight or Flight?" I'll be honest, I don't even remember why I chose it, literally came to me in a vision 😭 But I think it's fitting with the narrative of this piece. Is it better to keep going on, keep fighting, or better to finally give up, and flee? Not that I even remotely think he should give up, but I feel like sometimes I can sense him pondering this very question. That was the big fear before he announced that he re-signed. Keep fighting and maybe, just maybe, you'll get the chance to finally go up against the bull again. Or accept it's an uphill battle and the fighting is going to keep getting more and more strenous, and maybe it's time to put down the sword. SORRY THIS IS SO ANGSTY FOR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "yayyyy home race!!!" Please forgive me <3

I. Renault
At some point, someone pointed out to me that I had drawn all other iterations of matador Fernando with a sword, except for Renault Fernando, and that ended up feeling very poignant to me. In a bull fighting match, they really only pull out the sword at the last minute to deliver the killing blow. So I think it's important to never draw this Fernando with a sword, because it shows the unfailing confidence and stability he has at that point. He only needs to pull out the sword at the end, as a formality almost, there's no reason for him to keep his guard up at all times.

II. Ferrari
Meanwhile this Fernando, he's considering his sword like he hasn't had to in the past. He's checking the sharpness, making sure in advance he can do what needs to be done. He's on guard, he feels like he needs to keep up his defenses at all times because he doesn't have that same amount of trust and stability anymore. He knows though he will be up against the (red) bull, at least that's never in question. At least there's the assurance he'll get the chance to fight.

III. Aston
Oh, Aston Fernando....He doesn't know whether to take up his sword or finally put it down for the last time. While at least Ferrari Fernando knows he's on constant guard against the bull, this Fernando doesn't even have that assurance anymore. He feels like he can never put down the sword, just in case he gets the chance to strike the killing blow on the bull, which feels like it's growing more and more unlikely.
Spanish flag: ? Lmao this was meant to be something to celebrate Fernando's home race and it turned very introspective whoops. Also got the Napoleon quote in there hahaha, can't escape it!! Shame though there is no French gp anymore, if so I'd probably draw an unhinged thing for it :,(
#woooo yeah totally a spanish gp poster sure sure.....#idk i cant pretend to be relevant. i just wanted to draw matadors bcs it was spain gp wknd#maybe next year ill draw him as the prince of asturias#very proud of the narrative of this though#I do think it's very relavant to the story of his career and his relationship to the spanish gp#see i even downloaded a special font! sdjkglr#also do let me know which is your fav Nando on this poster!!!! <3#even tho the aston nando is lowkey the reason behind this whole poster. im super smitten with renault nando#i wonder which fernando would be 'freeze'#also i swear one day im gonna accidentally stab myself with the big ass sword i use to take ref pics for matador au#HOPE THIS ISNT TOO SAD EVEN THO I KNOW IT IS!!!#i mean it was never really supposed to be triumphant. more just *heavy thoughts*#but the lacklustre results and the fact that i feel like i havent even seen nando that much this wknd fueled the depressing read more#i am not immune to being overly dramatic and angsty </3#hey you never know man maybe this will work as reverse psychology and he'll do well in a couple hours!! we'll see...#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#matador au#2024 spanish gp#fa14
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It’s funny that like every 2-6 months Bruce makes the decision that he clearly makes everyone’s life worse by being in it and distances himself to keep them safe and realizes that either he needs them or they would actually benefit to have him around sometimes so he has to casually make everything right again or get bullied into being a dad again.
Dick is kind of sick of it but also so in tune to the cycle that he can accurately predict when it’s due to occur, in which case he notifies the batfam (-Bruce) group chat. Everyone has their ways of dealing with it from suddenly wanting to hang out (read: being annoyingly clingy) all day (Jason) to convoluted schemes to root out the cause of Bruce’s current depressive spiral and proving that he can’t do it alone (Tim), to not doing anything at all bc that is ‘not my fucking problem’ (Steph), etc.
What they haven’t all realized is that even when Bruce is going through his sad little hermit episodes, he would still be at their sides the moment they ask for him because no matter how much self hatred he feels at any given moment, his kids needing his help snaps him out of it so fast it gives him whiplash.
#I haven’t read a whole lot of Batman centric comics but all the ones I have read have him do his little guilt spiral that makes him run away#-from his friends and family#and he’s always so shocked when the follow him or come back when he asks#like it’s so important that he doesn’t ever quite get that people actually care about him#someone would tell him that they would die for him and he would hate that#he would prefer it if you don’t take a bullet for him actually#he’s had enough of that…#I will think about that one comic where he’s sixteen and spending his birthday alone thinking that maybe it’s his fault his parent are dead#he spends so much time trying to find someone to blame but ultimately blames himself the most#which is… Sad#I want to study his mind like a bug but I know that would be psychological torture for him#bruce wayne#batman#the kids mostly intervene bc they don’t want him to be suicidaI again#batfamily
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The scene where WoTW and Howl were running across the yard might have been so confusing and creepy though the Megan's point of view.
Imagine sitting at home, minding your business, washing dishes or playing in the yard, and suddenly this weird-looking lady, dressed as she just escaped from some kind of really unique and rich troop, wearing a dark, gorgeous, medieval-like dress and high heels, that's almost impossible to buy at the store nowadays just... appears before your eyes.
She stands on the grass, leaning on the swing and you're already reaching for your home phone to call the police because how the hell did she find a way into your house?? Except you didn't have enough time to do it because right after that some kind of weird, physical force starts dragging you to this strange, creepy woman, and you want to tell her to go to hell with her stupid tricks, but you can't.
And you kids, waking right alongside you, cannot do anything, too. You can't all possibly be mad, can you?
An when it starts to get even weirder and unavoidable, your jobless, potential-losing piece of a brother, comes into a scene, jumping through the damn fence, dressed in the same weird-looking costume, as If he escaped the same wery troupe (seriously, If you weren't so worried about your kids and unnatural forces right now, you'd think what would happen If people saw this atrociously long sleeves and eye-burning colours), and just...runs at the mysterious woman right away, dragging away your daughter in some kind of sport-like movement. Your brother and the woman then start running across the yard in the most ridiculous way possible.
The force stops. Your brother and the woman go out of sight. You take your kids into the house and pretend this never, ever happened in your lifes.
#look I'm a big fan of “Howl tells Megan and his other fam about Ingary eventually”#BUT REALISTICALLY#this situation is like the worst possible to tell them about it#like “oh yeah this woman you saw was a really powerful witch who wanted to take captive and probably unalive you all#“... because I jilted her a year ago and she didn't like it. Now she thinks she has to destroy everything I love to get me to fight her...”#“...and also I'm a wizard in a magical fairytale other world country btw”#Like sorry but I don't think he'd do that#he's a slither-outer#after all#like he won't just tell everyone everything in their faces#ESPECIALLY when it's his respectable™ sister#(with all my love for Meg)#so it's even more interesting for me to look at the excuses he could come up with in this citation#he can be like guys I joined that magician crew without telling you#and there's was this really strange woman#and one day she's just suddenly gone crazy#and she somehow got into your yard and I run after her in my really cool stage costume and#and she... specialises on you know psychological tricks#so she was able to put this magic trick up#and ehehe I saved everyone so know we're good!#©#hmc book#howl's moving castle book#hmc#howl's moving castle#howell jenkins#megan parry
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*crawls onto dash like an axolotl*
i- i am alone. back home. writing time.
#I got halfway through Authority and it's honestly pretty baller. I think the protagonist will connect less with most people but#It still has that juicy juicy deranged Annihilation flavor. Oh your family was fucked up and that's why you can understand The Horrors#I want to carry the author over the threshold bridal style or something.#Also I got halfway through 'Foundations' which was written by a physicist noble prize winner with grossly inflated sense of ego who#was trying to make a religion out of Abductive Reasoning while barely knowing how Abductive Reasoning works. All his social takes#were fascinatingly bad (not wrong to be clear; just bad examples no solid logic) and he also clearly gave the halflife of C14#and proceeded to say that we used it for figuring out Neanderthals were in Europe a few hundred thousand years ago.#I swear to god physicists should have emotional support geologists they can consult on the phone whenever they're feeling#a bit spicy about psychology and philosophy and it would save the world half a dozen bad takes.#His physics and 'layman' outline of how the physical world works though was really good. I quite liked that though. I would've#finished the book except it's my brother's and it's not good enough I would steal it. Except that fucker bought#THE ALTERATION OF ECONOMIC GEOLOGY and for HIMSELF not ME and that I might yoink lol.#Anyway COOL I AM BACK IN MY OWN BED I CAN RESPOND TO SOME EMAILS AND TRY TO AIM FOR CHAPT 34#I hope everyone had a really good Christmas! <3#ptxt
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every time I see a “it’s actually totally fine and nbd to have sex you don’t enjoy and are uncomfortable with because your partner wants it and you want them to be happy, as long as you’re giving uncoerced consent!” post I lose a month off my lifespan
#can /some people/ do this and have it be healthy for them? sure#but this is the overwhelming pressure both in a relationship and from society#and ime at least it has fucked me up a lot#to have sex i technically gave uncoerced consent to#where i was uncomfortable and unhappy and doing it to try and make my partner happy#bonus points for ‘it’s just like any other activity! just like you can watch a movie you don’t like for the sake of your partner#you can take a few hours to have sex you don’t like for them’#like come on now.#sex is not in fact psychologically identical to movies for most people#when i was a kid my school often made me watch movies I didn’t like or want to watch#you can say this isn’t ideal but#surely you can see. how this is different. than if they had made me have sex i didn’t want.#whatever WHATEVERRRRRR i know the sentiment is helpful for a lot of ppl#and i probably go too hard in the opposite direction#but im not framing myself as a wise advice giver im just rambling in tumblr tags abt my issues#if i were giving advice. well personally i would try to be more nuanced#than ‘don’t worry about it! it’s fine and normal to have sex you’re uncomfortable with and if you disagree you’re acephobic’#but that’s just me.#therapists dni#oh also I agree that people shouldn’t have to fake ‘normal reactions’ to sex#or to try and have orgasms if that’s unrewarding for them etc#im stone! its complicated! i get it!#but you gotta be careful to give the message ‘it’s complicated’#and not just. encouraging ppl to do things they’re genuinely uncomfortable with to make their partner happy.
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Kinda fucked up how all the people I know are like "Yeah I know what I want in my life. I want to work in X field and I want/don't want a long-term partner who I'm going to marry, I want kids and-"
and I'm there just like 🧍
#like wow ok#i have no idea what i want man I'm just doing what's required of me#or more like i think i know some of the things i want but I'm actively beating them up every day and instead choosing#what i consider to be my duty#like yeah I really want to work in design and you know the dream is character design and concept art but that's unrealistic#and any design would do. but that's selfish so like lol no. psychology it is. social work if i fail at that. it's an acceptable#compromise. it's not what I want but it is what i am ok with subjecting myself to.#whenever it looks like I might fail a class at university i get really anxious but also really excited#because on one hand I'm failing to take care of my duties and responsibilities. on the other if they kicked me out nobody could#say i didn't try. i could just say that I'm too stupid. i could say that i don't have what it takes. id be a failure but not out of my#volition. they could tell me that im stupid or inferior but they couldn't label me selfish.#and then id just fuck off to work as a florist or maybe id just work in a smokes shop or anything low stakes like that#while I'd be looking for a job in design. hell i don't even need a job in that field; id love to just work a simple job where after clocking#out i could just go home and partake in my hobbies. like i wouldn't even need to have it as my field of work id be perfectly#content with posting character designs online and sometimes getting a small buck by selling pins and dolls and etc#that's definitely what i want in life. but that's fucked up and selfish and would make me a failure and then i would never#be able to even dream of earning humanity. so. doing my duty it is
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